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vannahfanfics · 4 years ago

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Heavenly River

Category: Friendship Fluff

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Characters: Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugo

Hey, everyone! It’s my pleasure to share my story for Written in the Stars: A BKDK Tanabata zine!

Izuku held his hand flat over his brows as he stepped outside, shielding his eyes from the intensity of the sun burning in the azure sky. It was a cloudless day, so there was no solace from the bright sun rays spearing down from the heavens. However, there was a pleasant breeze to cool the hot, humid July air; it ruffled Izuku’s tousled pine-green hair and the fabric of his dark seaweed-colored yukata. He adjusted the emerald-hued sash around his waist, more to fidget than to actually fix it, and then pulled out his cell phone to check his notifications. He brightened when he saw a text from Katsuki, who had agreed to come with him to this year’s Tanabata festival.

Almost there, loser. You’d better be ready, or I’m leaving without you.

Izuku chuckled under his breath before shooting his friend a quick text to confirm that he was indeed ready and waiting for his friend to arrive, then stowed his phone back in his pocket. He slid his hands in the pockets of his yukata as he stood on the landing of his mother’s apartment complex. She had hung kuzukago on either side of the door; the white basket-like arrangements of paper strips swayed gently in the breeze, beseeching the winds for blessings of tidiness and thriftiness.

The neighbor to the right had hung kinchaku patterned with pretty floral paper; they’d fallen under hard times since the husband had been laid off from his job. Izuku whispered out a quick prayer on their behalf, wishing them improved fortunes and good luck. Their other neighbor had hung several chains of paper cranes in their windows, as their grandmother had recently fallen ill with pneumonia. Izuku had recently heard she was on the mend, and he hoped that this information was still true. She was a lovely lady who always brought Izuku’s mother homemade cookies when she visited, so Izuku hoped she would recover and be discharged from the hospital soon. Along the underside of the balcony, fukinagashi streamers swayed in the breeze with their colorful tails ruffling along the wind like Orihime’s fabled weavings.

People need wishes more than ever, Izuku thought as he leaned against the metal railing framing the walkway and looked out to the street below. Though All for One and Tomura Shigaraki had finally been defeated, the scars of their reign of carnage were still evident even months later. Across the street, they were still rebuilding the apartment complex that had been utterly destroyed in a fire; bits and pieces of the charred shell were piled in the brown grass to be collected by the garbage trucks later. Hope was still fragile in the community, so this Tanabata festival could hopefully restore faith and positivity in people.

“Oiiiii! Nerd! Stop starin’ off into space and get the fuck down here!”

Izuku glanced down to see Katsuki standing on the sidewalk. He was wearing that scowl Izuku had come to know as an odd symbol of affection, and his hands were buried into the pockets of his maroon yukata. Izuku called down to him in greeting and then took off in a trot, hopping down the steps and rounding the corner to join him on the sidewalk. Katsuki’s vermilion eyes burned in the harsh summer sun, but they were still less fierce than Izuku had known them a little over a year ago.

“Yer mom ain’t comin’?�� Katsuki questioned as they set off in a leisurely walk down the sidewalk, subconsciously matching each other’s strides.

“No,” Izuku confirmed with a shake of his head. “She went the other day, so she’s spending the day making yakitori and takoyaki for dinner! If your family doesn’t have plans, Kacchan, you’re more than welcome to come by after and eat with us!”

Katsuki tilted his head to the side, an expression of consideration on his face.

“My folks somehow got roped into workin’ today, so I might take you up on that. Sure as hell beats cookin’ for myself.”

Izuku couldn’t help the happy smile that appeared on his lips; they hadn’t hung out for summer vacation very much due to their respective training regimens, so Izuku was delighted that he would not only be able to attend the last day of the festival with Katsuki but also have him over for dinner. “Wait, though, they aren’t doing the paper boat ceremony until midnight.”

“That’s right! I was thinking that we would spend the day enjoying the festival, go home for dinner, and then go back to do the paper boat ceremony. I know that’s a little past your bedtime, though, Kacchan,” he grinned teasingly and elbowed his friend in the ribs. “Will you be able to handle it?”

“Who the hell do ya think you’re talkin’ to?” Katsuki cried indignantly, jostling Izuku’s shoulder with his own. “O’course I can handle it! Damn nerd, where do ya get off thinkin’ you can insult me like that?”

Izuku laughed as Katsuki flung his muscular arm around his shoulders and jerked him against his side to grind his fist into the top of Izuku’s head. It was a good thing that his hair had always been unruly anyway, because Katsuki couldn’t muss it up too much. Izuku laughed airily when Katsuki shoved him away. The blond buried his hands back into his pockets with a snort, looking away at the large fukinagashi the city had suspended from the light poles. The large ball of yellow, orange, and white flowers hung from the streetlamps, the sunlight catching on the rustling streamers to cast playful shadows along the ground as the pieces curled and fluttered.

“Do you know what you’re going to wish for?” Katsuki asked him after several minutes of silent walking. This caught Izuku by surprise, and he turned to blink at him with wide emerald eyes. Katsuki was still staring out at the road, eyes lidded as he watched the cars trundle by.

“Actually, no,” he said and rubbed the back of his neck while he looked up at the clear blue sky. My goal is to be the number-one hero, but… for some reason, I don’t feel like wishing for that, he thought with a small frown. He’d been wrestling with it leading up to the event, and here it was the first day of the festival— he had to make a decision at some point. “I’ll figure it out when I get there!” He laughed nonchalantly and then looked back at Katsuki. “What about you?”

“I don’t know either.” Katsuki’s voice was flat, and Izuku could tell that he was thinking hard about it. I guess he wants his wish to be important… After all they had been through, Izuku could understand that. They’d endured so much together and grown up so fast. Smiling wanly, Izuku gently bumped his shoulder with Katsuki’s, prompting the blond to look at him with raised eyebrows.

“Don’t worry, Kacchan. We’ll figure it out!”

Katsuki blinked at him, then turned away with a small “tch.” However, Izuku could see that the minute tension had left his shoulders and the stoniness had eased out of his expression.

It was a short walk to the shrine where the festival was held. The street leading up to the shrine was laden with the handcrafted paper ornaments strung from the oak trees that framed the path. On either side of the cobblestone walkway, local vendors had set up their wares; the savory scent of yakisoba floated on the air, making Izuku’s mouth water though he’d just eaten breakfast not too long ago. There were vendors selling handmade ornaments, the pair of them walking past the hairpin maker who came every year, their stall a huge hit with the local girls. Izuku spotted several of them already decorating the ornate updos some of the festival goers chose to wear that night, the hair pins adding just that much more to the look. In the corner, a small troupe of stage actors were recounting the story of Orihime and Hikoboshi for an enthralled crowd.

“Wow, look at the crowd— and everyone looks so happy, too,” Izuku marveled. It seemed that the fair bit of hope the festival offered had drawn many people out of their homes, and he was relieved to see most of them wearing genuine smiles.

“Well, it’s been a shitty few months,” Katsuki shrugged. “They’re gonna latch onto anything positive that comes their way.” Izuku supposed that was true, but it still made him happy for the civilians. They’d all endured a lot— they deserved to celebrate a festival, to wish for mundane things instead of seeing tomorrow.

What did he want to wish for, though?

They walked to the end of the small street, where long fronds of bamboo framed the entrance to the shrine. Paper strips hung from their dainty branches, colored rectangles that swayed among the bright green leaves. The wishes of hundreds were imbued in those simple tanzaku— everything from pleas for academic success to wishes for love to grand hopes for world peace. Beneath the sprawling bamboo were small circular tables, where the colorful bits of paper sat beneath glass paperweights. They waited in a short line to walk up to the table; when Izuku picked up the pen and grabbed a blue strip of paper, he hesitated a moment while he debated what to write on the strip.

Out of the corners of his eyes, he could see Katsuki silently debating as well. It was strange, their mental debate. After everything they’d done, everything they’d seen, did they feel invincible? Is that why they had nothing to wish for? Or perhaps there was so much they wanted to see the world become and so much they wanted to do themselves, there were infinite possibilities to wish for now. Izuku smiled wanly and looked down at the blank rectangular strip of paper, the canvas to paint a wish of goodwill. He twirled the pen around in his hand, trying to think of what he wanted to wish for most in the world right now.

Finally, it dawned on him. He hunched down over the table to neatly scrawl on the tanzaku: A world where people’s wishes can come true.

Katsuki was still writing as Izuku stepped aside and walked to the bamboo fronds. He stood on his tiptoes to use the small loops of string to tie it on an empty bit of the plant, suspending it among hundreds of other wishes. He stepped back to admire the bit of blue fluttering among the rainbow of colors, while Katsuki passed by him to hang his wish beside his.

“What did you wish for, Kacchan?”

“Idiot,” Katsuki huffed as he turned around to walk back. “If you say it out loud, it won’t come true! I’ll tell ya after midnight, maybe.” Izuku blushed sheepishly at that; he’d quite forgotten that bit of superstition. He didn’t know if Katsuki actually believed it or was simply giving him a hard time, but it really didn’t matter.

They enjoyed the small festival for the rest of the afternoon, starting with the play, since it was starting over as they came out from the depths of the path. They sat with their legs tucked underneath them on comfy cushions (among a bunch of little kids, Katsuki was eager to grouse about) and watched the rendition of the love story. Izuku had always found it kind of sad that Orihime and Hikoboshi were only permitted to meet one day out of every year, but he also marveled that there was a love so strong that not even three hundred and sixty-four days of separation could lessen it. At the end of the play, they joined the actors in singing the traditional song— well, Izuku did. Katsuki would rather drop dead than sing, especially in front of a bunch of elementary-schoolers.

After the play, they stopped at the yakisoba stand for lunch. Izuku swirled the fried noodles around with his chopsticks to scoop bits of pork and cabbage, then spooned them into his mouth. As he slurped up the noodles, Katsuki glanced at him out of his peripheral vision.

“It’s almost strange,” he remarked. Izuku raised an eyebrow at him, and Katsuki looked down into his half-eaten yakisoba with pinkening cheeks. “Going back to normal after, you know… everything.” Izuku swallowed his noodles, looking at Katsuki with widening eyes. Though they were better friends now, he’d never grow used to these melancholic moods Katsuki drifted into. Katsuki’s red eyes were lidded while he pushed the noodles around his plate, pulsing with a serious sadness so unlike his usual explosive personality.

“Yeah,” Izuku agreed quietly. He found his own appetite waning, so he pushed the plate of noodles away and leaned his arms on the counter. “But… You can’t hang onto the past forever. At some point, you have to let the darkness fall behind you and walk toward the sun.”

“Tch. What are you, a fucking poet?” Katsuki snorted, but as always, his words were in direct contradiction to the small smile curling over his lips. Katsuki gathered up a large chunk of the yakisoba and then continued contemplatively with his mouth full, “Towards the sun, huh?”

Izuku smiled, then pulled his plate back toward him to finish it. He wouldn’t want to insult the chef that made the delicious meal, after all.

After finishing lunch, the two of them headed to Izuku’s house. They joined his mother in the kitchen to help her prepare dinner. Katsuki worked on dicing chicken breast into small cubes to skewer, while Izuku prepared the batter for the takoyaki. While they worked, his mother regaled Katsuki with stories of Tanabata festivals past— particularly her favorite tale of Izuku wishing to be like All Might every single year leading up to his acceptance at U.A. Izuku hid his bright red face in the refrigerator while pretending to look for the octopus tentacles, while Katsuki just guffawed about what a groupie he was.

The scent of frying batter and grilling chicken filled the kitchen as the sun sank lower and lower in the sky. Izuku’s mother had begun singing the song, and Izuku had taken it up as well, annoying Katsuki with their repeated trills of the tune:

“The bamboo leaves rustle, shaking away in the eaves.

The stars twinkle on the gold and silver grains of sand.

The five-color paper strips I have written.

The stars twinkle, they watch us from heaven.”

Katsuki’s lips couldn’t curl into a deeper scowl as Izuku waltzed around him, poking him in the cheek with a leftover octopus tentacle. Katsuki snatched it away and slapped him lightly across the cheek with it, leaving a slimy mark on Izuku’s skin.

“Oi! You sing that song one more goddamn time, I’m gonna fry you into a takoyaki ball!” Katsuki threatened while gesturing wildly with the floppy tentacle. Izuku and his mother just laughed, quite used to Katsuki’s angry outbursts. Katsuki nursed his irritation with a melon soda, clenching the can in one hand while flipping the chicken grilling in the skillet with the other.

It was about seven in the evening by the time the three of them gathered around the kōtatsu table with the spread of food. His mother turned on the television to watch the annual specials— which were just more dramatizations of the traditional story— while the two boys tore into the food with relish. Katsuki had always praised Inko’s cooking skills like the foodie he was, and though he’d probably never admit it aloud, he loved her takoyaki. He plucked ball after ball from the plate to pile them into his mouth until his cheeks bulged like a chipmunk’s.

“The hell you laughin’ at?” he grumbled when Izuku burst into laughter. Izuku just shook his head and used his teeth to slide a piece of the sauce-soaked, tender chicken from the skewer in his hand. He would have laughed if someone told him a year ago that he’d be sitting at the kōtatsu with Katsuki enjoying the Tanabata festival, even more so to be told they were exchanging friendly banter. The realization made a joyful smile spread over Izuku’s face, one that didn’t miss Katsuki’s attention.

“Oi. What are you thinking about?” Katsuki asked, the scowl morphing into a curious look. Izuku’s smile just widened, and he reached out to pluck up one of the takoyaki balls with his chopsticks.

“I’m just thinking about how nice this is, Kacchan. My mom doesn’t remember this, but,” he said, dropping his voice while his mother cried tearfully at the separation of Orihime and Hikoboshi playing on the screen, “A few years ago, I didn’t wish to be like All Might. I wished for us to be friends.”

Katsuki’s cheeks flushed a bright pink as he released a choking noise. He covered his blush with a broad hand, and he averted his gaze. Izuku chuckled at his shy reaction and took the opportunity to steal another takoyaki ball.

“Damn nerd,” Katsuki huffed with undeniable affection that made Izuku’s heart warm. “You can’t just say shit like that, you know. Now stop stealing my fucking takoyaki. Don’t think I didn’t notice. We may be friends, but I’ll still break your arm.”

They watched the special programs until about eleven, then set off again back to the shrine to participate in the paper boat ceremony. This time, the crowd had gathered at the nearby river, which babbled along another pathway leading to the small shrine. Dew clung to the hem of Izuku’s yukata as he walked on the edge of the cobblestone path where the grass grew. He and Katsuki retrieved their wishes from the bamboo branches, then took one of the prepared paper boats to place the wishes inside. Afterward, they set off to find a nice place to set them adrift.

They sat down on the edge of the bank to wait for the clock to strike midnight. Izuku held the fragile paper boat in his lap while he eased off his sandals so he could dip his toes in the cool water. Katsuki sat next to him, cross-legged and watching the water current swirl in the concrete canal. It was a far cry from the Heavenly River from the story, but Izuku could imagine its beauty with the way the starlight played over the babbling water.

“You know, we’re kind of like Orihime and Hikoboshi,” Izuku said after a while. Katsuki looked at him like he’d absolutely lost his mind, which made Izuku flush and hurriedly explain, “I-I just mean that at the beginning it felt like… You were on the other side of the river from me, Kacchan.” This made the blond settle down, so Izuku continued with a wan smile. “It felt like you were miles ahead, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t catch up… But little by little, I did, and now we’re on the same side of the river. I guess. Sorry. That was a weird metaphor,” he laughed nervously, playing with the edges of the paper boat.

“It was fucking weird,” Katsuki sniffed, then looked out to the water. “I get what you mean, though.” His voice was soft, a rare hint of gentleness that Izuku still couldn’t believe was sometimes directed toward him. “Just make sure you don’t fall back to the other side of the river, dumbass,” Katsuki said after a second, elbowing him gently in the arm.

“Hehe, I won’t,” Izuku chuckled and elbowed him back.

Then, fireworks lit up the moonlit sky, indicating that it had turned twelve. Izuku and Katsuki crawled to the bank to gently push the paper boats into the water. They watched them drift along the current, joined by hundreds of other little sailboats. Then, Izuku jumped to his feet while tugging eagerly on Katsuki’s arm.

“Come on!”

He ignored Katsuki’s confused sputters of protest as he dragged him up the bank to the walkway overlooking the river, which was lined by red railings. Izuku gripped the railing, searching for their two boats drifting alongside one another, and then pointed them out with a smile. The moon bathed them in a white glow, making them almost luminescent in the brilliant light. The light also played over the water to make it seem like they drifted on rivers of glittering diamond.

“Hey… What did you wish for?” Katsuki asked him suddenly, and Izuku turned to look at him with a soft smile.

“A world where people’s wishes could come true.”

Katsuki raised his eyebrows. Under the pale moonlight, the pink hue that rose to his cheeks was rosy pale. Katsuki bit down on his bottom lip, but that didn’t suppress the little chuckles that bubbled out of his throat.

“Me too.”

Izuku’s smile brightened, and then he turned to look out at the water. It was full of paper boats now, all glowing in the white light streaming down from the cloudless sky. He felt Katsuki nudge him, because of course he couldn’t let the moment pass without another jab.

“What a waste though, ‘cuz it’s my wish that’s gonna come true, nerd,” he teased. Izuku had to laugh and shake his head. Only Katsuki could make even traditional wishes during Tanabata into a competition. He supposed it didn’t matter though, if only one of their wishes were granted or both— either way, it meant happiness and peace for those who needed it most. That’s all Izuku could ever want. He watched those boats drift down the heavenly river, where hopefully the gods would pluck them up on the distant shore. They would read those wishes, and fulfill their hopes.

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

#bkdk #dkbk #bakudeku #dekubaku #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo #katsuki bakugou #my hero academia #mha #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero

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auncyen · 4 years ago

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Ok ok so I'd been idly thinking about updating "Chats with Joker in Mementos" for Royal for a while, except as far as I know there aren't any transcriptions for the Royal Mementos chats like there is for Vanilla...

So...after some questionable use of my time, I now have a list of a good chunk of the starters in Royal. Only starters, not responses, since the point of the fic is having Joker be the one to respond, and I didn't transcribe ones I didn't think would be interesting for him to respond to, but still, if anyone does ever look to do a complete transcription, this might be helpful as a start? Or just interesting if you want to see what some characters talk about. Spoilers for third semester below cut.

Ryuji: Man, we really bust our asses to get stronger in here. I wish it meant we got stronger in the real world too.

Ryuji: Man, I had this horrible dream last night… Can’t remember a thing about it, though.

Ryuji: Ya know what? I guess Mona does have a mask, technically.

Ryuji: Yo, the way he jumps behind Shadows is so sick!

Ryuji: Yo, is it just me, or is fallin’ asleep getting tougher every night? At this point, I’m outta ideas of what to do.

Ryuji: Kinda fiendin’ for some ramen right about now… Maybe I’ll hit up Ogikubo when we get back.

RyujI: So lately, I’ve been tryin’ to work some training into my nightly routine before bed.

Ryuji: Hey, is it just me, or is Morgana’s sword basically the same size as Joker’s knife?

Ryuji: My mom made gyudon last night! My fave! Now I’ve got, like, fifty times more energy than usual!

Ryuji: This phantom thief stuff feels real as hell whenever he’s flyin’ around with that grappling hook.

Ryuji: Dude, that grappling hook is awesome! He looks like a freakin’ superhero with that thing!

Ryuji: Aww man, I just can’t get enough of those Akihabara maids…

Ryuji: Aren’t knives kinda hard to use ‘cause of their shortness? I definitely prefer my own shit.

Ryuji: I always thought darts looked easy—just aim for the board, y’know? But, it’s waaay harder than that.

Ryuji: Every try the monja in Tsukishima? That stuff is LEGIT.

Ryuji: Yo, does this outfit really make me look like I’m part of some biker gang?

Morgana: Listen, it’s not that I look like a cat. Cats just happen to look like me.

Morgana: I repeat: I am not a cat. To prove it, I took an actual bath yesterday.

Morgana: So, cats love to chase mice, right? I don’t get it—where’s the fun in that?

Morgana: I’m always so entranced by Panther’s whip technique!

Morgana: Panther, we have matching tails!

Morgana: You know, I’ve never actually been in a car before. Is it anything like I am now?

Morgana: I definitely made the right decision giving him the code name “Joker.”

Morgana: I’m willing to bet Joker’s skilled enough to use throwing knives.

Morgana: Anime, books, movies… Phantom thieves sure are popular.

Morgana: Last night I dreamt that Phantom Thieves were kicking some serious butt—let’s bring that dream to life!

Morgana: I can teach you everything you need to know about being a phantom thief. Relax—you’re in good hands!

Morgana: *yawn* I didn’t get enough sleep…

Morgana: I couldn’t fall asleep at all last night. I just laid there with my eyes open…

Morgana: I like Yongen-Jaya; it’s a great place for a stroll.

Morgana: Is Shujin Academy the only thing in Aoyama?

Morgana: I was vegetating in front of the TV last night, and I have to say, there are some pretty decent shows on now.

Ann: The bakery had a sale yesterday and I ended up buying everything they had!

Ann: The Ferris wheel is a must for me at theme parks, every time. I love being able to just relax.

Ann: I have an upcoming shoot at a theme park, but what sucks is how I can’t go on any of the rides.

Ann: Last night I dreamt I was eating a chocolate bar, then all of a sudden, it got mad and started chasing me!

Ann: Every once in a while I have a dream where I get chased by a Shadow…

Ann: I’ve been sleeping really well since I started getting all this exercise.

Ann: I was up late watching TV last night, so I might be a little sleep deprived…

Ann: I tend to do my clothes shopping in Kichijoji—it’s fun looking through all the resale shops.

Ann: I hate when people ask me to say stuff in English just ‘cause I lived overseas.

Ann: It always bothers me when foreign movie subtitles leave stuff out or take too many liberties.

Ann: I was talking to my overseas friend the other day—her straightforward attitude was really refreshing!

Ann: I was talking to Shiho on the phone and before I knew it, three whole hours had passed!

Ann: Joker seems like he’d make a good cook, doesn’t he? I mean, he’s great with his knife and all…

Ann: It’s actually quite exhilarating to attack with a whip. I wonder why that is…

Ann: Whenever my foreign relatives come to Japan, they always rave about how much they love Japanese food!

Ann: Do you think there’s anything I can do about my outfit? I feel like I stand out too much in this…

Ann: Is there a difference between a whip and a grappling hook?

Ann: Ya know, Skull’s always been into skull designs and stuff.

Ann: Wouldn’t a grappling hook be awfully handy in the real world?

Yusuke: I wish to paint the world as only I see it. The best way to succeed at this is through practice.

Yusuke: It’s fun to walk around and inspect different temples and shrines. The architecture is always impressive.

Yusuke: If Shadows are sentient, do you think their being moved by a painting would invoke a change of heart?

Yusuke: There have been times where I was compelled to create three-dimensional art.

Yusuke: I’m quite curious about Mona’s Western-style sword…

Yusuke: I hear whips are quite difficult to use. Where did you learn how to wield one?

Yusuke: Joker using a grappling hook…. That would make for a picture-perfect composition.

Yusuke: Mona, what exactly do you have in those pouches?

Yusuke: Creating a piece of art is pointless unless I can convey the full essence of the subject.

Yusuke: Art museums stimulate my creativity like no other place—I wish I could live inside one.

Yusuke: Skull and I both use long melee weapons, but they’re total opposites of one another.

Yusuke: Why does my outfit have a tail? I don’t understand…

Yusuke: I considered growing my own bean sprouts, but it seems to be more expensive than buying them grown.

Yusuke: I once had a dream that I washed up on a deserted island. I painted as much as I pleased… So wonderful.

Yusuke: I may specialize in Japanese-style painting, but I’d like to learn some Western techniques as well.

Yusuke: That grappling hook is very useful. I should find a way to utilize one in my daily life.

Yusuke: The other day, I went into the mountains to gather vegetables so I could cut back on food expenses.

Yusuke: I tried to paint a landscape of the starry sky once, but it’s quite difficult to do so from within the city.

Yusuke: India ink isn’t my specialty, but I’ve been experimenting with it in some recent work, just for fun.

Makoto: I may have stopped being a doormat for adults, but people are still calling me a “teacher’s pet.”

Makoto: A phantom thief’s body is their most vital asset. We need to make sure we eat balanced, nutritious meals.

Makoto: Do you enjoy visiting theme parks? I’ve rarely been to one myself.

Makoto: Fox looks cooler using his katana than I had originally imagined.

Makoto: I had the weirdest dream… I was at school, but I was wearing my phantom thief outfit.

Makoto: Would anyone care to learn how to drive, while we’re here? This place seems as good as any for practice.

Makoto: I know it’s not very healthy, but I do enjoy eating ramen from time to time.

Makoto: Once I’ve graduated, I’m going to buy a motorcycle and go on a road trip.

Makoto: I’ve been working on my grades because I still want to attend college, despite being a phantom thief.

Makoto: I want to read a certain book, but it’s out of print. Where do you suppose I could find a copy?

Makoto: Maybe I’m just burned out, but waking up has grown awfully difficult lately.

Makoto: The grappling hook’s cable seems pretty strong, but it’s scary to think what could happen if it snapped.

Makoto: Once my sister brought home some sushi for me. It was indescribably good…

Futaba: I heard rhythm’s an important part of fighting, sooo… I started playing a rhythm game!

Futaba: There’s going to be an event tonight in the MMO I play. I can’t wait!

Futaba: This MMO I’m hooked on is really cool. Do you wanna play with me? Oh—it’s in English, though.

Futaba: I’m about to beat the game I’ve been playing. Wonder what I should play next?

Futaba: I’ve been going outside a lot more, so now I’m sleeping way better than I did when I was a shut-in.

Futaba: Guess what? I’m making a game called “Hungry Hungry Mona”!

Futaba: You know who’s a really good driver, is Sojiro. He can parallel park with his eyes closed!

Futaba: If you could shoot grappling hooks from your hands, you’d probably be able to get around just using those!

Futaba: Ya know, I’ve thought about workin’ out and fighting alongside you guys.

Futaba: You guys should try playing shooters! It could help you improve your gun skills.

Futaba: Last night I had a dream my hard drive failed… That was scary.

Futaba: Wouldn’t it be cool if you could mod the grappling hook so it was electrified?

Futaba: Sure, the internet’s convenient, but it’s not like it can do everything. Don’t overestimate its capabilities.

Futaba: I wonder if I’d be okay going to some place by myself if it wasn’t crowded. Inokashira Park seems nice.

Futaba: Yesterday Sojiro bought me my favorite instant yakisoba!

Futaba: Maybe I should get a gun too, just for self-defense… Nah, my hands need to be empty.

Haru: I found this cafe in Kichioji with phenomenal tea—would you care to try it sometime?

Haru: I ordered kusaya but they refused to make it—they said they couldn’t get the smell out of the kitchen.

Haru: I feel like I need to learn more about the world, but I’m not sure how to best go about it.

Haru: Recently, I’ve been finding rare delicacies rather enticing…

Haru: Even lately, I sometimes dream about doing phantom thief things with Mona.

Haru: If you’re having trouble getting yourself to relax, I recommend herbal tea.

Haru: Asakusa is a wonderful area—I love how it’s this blend of the old and the new.

Haru: Ever since I started high school I’ve been taking the train in the morning, but I’m still not used to it…

Haru: Queen, your mask looks like it’s made of iron. Doesn’t it get heavy?

Haru: Joker’s so acrobatic! He’s really got the hang of that grappling hook.

Haru: I don’t think I’ve gotten this much exercise since I was in ballet.

Haru: Let me know if you ever get a tear in your clothing—I’m good at sewing, so I could most likely fix it.

Haru: I dreamt that the vegetables I’d been growing all died… I was so sad.

Haru: Your weapon seems fun, Skull. Do you want to swap sometime?

Haru: Sometimes it’s impossible for me to fall asleep on days that we’ve been to Palaces, no matter how tired I am.

Haru: You know, before this, I’d never considered using an axe for anything other than chopping firewood…

Haru: My hands have gotten all calloused… I supposed it comes with the territory in gardening.

Akechi: I have no intention of changing my stance on matters, no matter what anyone may say.

Akechi: Pancakes... I don’t want to hear that word again for a long, long time.

Akechi: We don’t have much time left. Please do what you can to avoid getting sick.

Akechi: The enemies are stronger than ever. Don’t let your guard down.

Akechi: A world that panders to your every whim is so mundane. Where’s the thrill if there’s no competition?

Akechi: Do you prefer my previous outfit or this one? Moving around’s become much easier for me.

Akechi: This place is immense. If there weren’t train tracks everywhere, I’d bring my bike here.

Akechi: We’re working under the constraints of a time limit, so I’d appreciate it if you could be more efficient.

Akechi: If you’re looking for a way to train both your mind and your body, I highly recommend bouldering.

Akechi: You think I’m frightening when I fight? Well, I’m afraid you’re just going to have to accept it.

Akechi: I meant to tell you, regarding Shido… Thank you for keeping your promise.

Akechi: You may not like working with me, but I’m counting on your assistance until our goal is achieved.

Akechi: When we’re riding in the car like this, it’s easy to forget that we’re actually inside Mona.

Akechi: The Shadows here behave differently from the ones in the Palaces, don’t they?

Akechi: I’m getting a bit hungry. I should’ve eaten beforehand.

Akechi: I enjoy spending time in Kichijoji. It’s not very big, but there are plenty of trendy shops.

Akechi: Riding in the car may beat walking, but it doesn’t stop my legs from growing stiff and sore…

Sumire: I have a few different superstitions for good luck in my routines… They get sort of hard to drop.

Sumire: It was already hard for me to believe Palaces existed, but to think there’s such a massive one under Shibuya…

Sumire: It’s a bit cramped in here with this many people…

Sumire: I get stiff all over from just sitting in the car.

Sumire: Why is the one desert you get to eat during the week so delicious?

Sumire: A phantom thief outfit represents a person’s image of their rebellion, right?

Sumire: I wonder if I should try incorporating another sport into my gymnastics training.

Sumire: I wonder what I could use as inspiration for my performances…

Sumire: Swords are actually pretty hard to wield.

Sumire: Whenever I travel, I always end up buying some sort of good luck charm.

Sumire: Your outfits are all so unique. I can see coordinating them wasn’t a priority.

Sumire: This time of year, a heating pad’s an absolute must for keeping warm.

Sumire: Sometimes people will just walk up to me and ask me to show them a standing split.

Sumire: I’m in top shape today! Let’s keep going.

Sumire: Do you all stretch beforehand? You could pull a muscle if you don’t.

Sumire: It’s too bad gymnastics competitions aren’t on TV more often.

Sumire: Fighting makes for a pretty good workout, doesn’t it?

while I didn't transcribe responses, I did notice something a bit disappointing: neither Sumire nor Akechi seemed to have responses for anyone else. It's possible I missed one?? But not being able to remember any, they must not have many if they do have some. A bit odd.

#persona 5 #p5r #p5r spoilers #to pick from later

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jonghoshoe · 5 years ago

Text

Just Peachy :)

@tinymingi you asked and shall recieve :)))

Summary: Moving to a new place is always a little unnerving, luckily there’s a cute, pink haired stranger who makes you feel welcome.

Pairing: Jeong Yunho x Reader

Word Count: 1-2k words

No content warnings apply (unless you count like one swear word)

Moving house sucks. Especially when it's to somewhere you don't know. Not that you aren't happy with it- it's amazing to even get a house these days. But it's hardly fun to deal with all the boxes and the unfamiliarity of a new place.

Even less fun when said boxes haven't arrived yet. Seeing nothing productive to do, you've decided to explore the area, there's a few hours to spare before everything arrives so you may as well acquaint yourself with what's around you.

That's how you ended up finding a cute little corner café 'The Aurora', what a cute title.

It's fairly small on the inside, though there are a few seating areas outside too, and it seems to be a rather quiet place as well, perfect for just relaxing, especially after all the work you've been doing the past week.

The barista who serves you is a rather bright character, you mean this literally as he has a few pink streaks in his hair that shine a little under the lights. His name is Yunho, you find out from the nametag, and he seems to pick up on you being a stranger.

''New to the town or just here?'' He asks, setting about on preparing your order.

''New to the town, I just moved in today actually- figured I'd explore while I wait for everything to arrive.''

''Nothing quite like walking around a new place huh?'' He says, plating everything up (not that there's much) before he slides it over the counter, telling you your total with a cheerful smile.

''Hey- If you ever want me to show you around I'd totally be down for it! There's a few little secret places here that you might not find on your own.'' He suggests, practically bouncing on the spot.

''Maybe once I've settled in a bit more.'' You supply, it's not that you don't want to hang out with him- He's just so cute you're already getting butterflies!

Yunho smiles and nods as you walk away to a table, choosing a smaller one by the window so you can people watch.

The following day you're a little more anxious, you'd told your friends about the cute barista in your new town and now they all wanted to come over to see him- and wanted you to take him up on his offer.

So that was the plan for today, get his number and arrange a day to go out- maybe get some work done too since you'd brought your laptop.

Or it was the plan until he decided to flirt with you, saying ''One angel cake and peach tea for the peachy angel!'' with a wink.

That really shouldn't have stopped you in your tracks, it was so incredibly cheesy but he's just so- aah. You're pretty sure you already have the wings of the angel cake in your stomach.

He teases you when you freeze in place at the words, watching humorously as you stutter out an excuse.

''Ah just- your hair! Your hair is really nice, th-the streaks are cute.'' You say, the colour draining from your face when you realise you'd accidentally called him cute.

Yunho grins and shoots back, ''You're pretty cute too, maybe you should dye yours too and we can match.'' he says with a chuckle, full of confidence despite the blush dusting his cheeks and the tip of his nose.

You nod and walk quickly to your table, face flushed red as you hear him laugh behind you.

Well that didn't go at all as planned.

There's always tomorrow, you think. Settling down to get some work done- it doesn't desperately need finished now, but since you're still unpacking, you figure you may as well work on it here. The atmosphere is nice and the menu is relatively cheap, you can see yourself coming here often already.

You're distracted when you see Yunho coming over to your table out of the corner of your eye, paper bag and a coffee in hand. He flashes you a smile as he stands by the chair opposite you, ''Mind if I sit here?'' he asks. He's so cute that even your shyness doesn't stop you nodding in confirmation.

He grins happily when he sits down, pulling out his sandwich as he glances at you from over your computer screen, ''So, watcha workin' on?'' He asks.

Your response to a simple question turns into spending his entire break talking. You talk about where you're from, how long he's lived and worked here, you find out that you have some common interests and when you tell him your new neighbourhood, he tells you a friend of his lives there too and he hopes you can meet him soon.

The day continues with that accidentally happening, because apparently he's described you both to each other so now his friend is eager to meet you.

''I'm Jongho.'' He introduces himself as, walking with you as you both exit the corner store.

Jongho is a lot more quiet than you'd expected from someone who's friends with Yunho, and you tell him just that.

''Yeah, nobody ever believes us when we tell them I'm younger. Yunho is kinda like a hyperactive puppy so people never think he's the older one.'' He says, clearly having told this story a million times over.

On the walk home, he entertains you with stories of Yunho and himself, saying how they'd met during high school and been practically joint at the hip ever since. You come to learn a lot about the both of them, and in the end, Jongho and you exchange numbers when he walks you to your house (what a gentleman). He teases you about not having Yunhos number yet, but says he won't give it to you and you'll have to ask him for it yourself.

You end the night with your friends practically yelling at you over text to make a move already, you'd like to see them try and not be stuck in place by Yunhos flirtatious remarks and cute smile!

Okay, third day here, you've literally exchanged numbers with his best friend, you are going to get Yunhos. Nothing will stop you this time!

Alright, nevermind, you can't do this. You've barely even stepped in the door and you're already smitten.

He's dressed way differently today. He's wearing a giant, baby blue sweater that he's practically drowning in and he's tied his hair up in a cute little ponytail. You're almost tempted to text Jongho and ask if he planned this to fuck with you.

Alright, he's cute but you have to make your move today, you've put this off for too long.

Your ordering goes as normal, getting the same as you always do before Yunho starts talking with you, nobody else is waiting to order so he just talks at the counter.

''So Jongho told me he met you yesterday, he said you got along well?'' He says, seemingly very excited that you'd met his friend.

You confirm, and talk about how the evening had went and the stories he'd told you.

Yunho groans and hides his face in embarrassment at one of them, ''Of all the stories, he tells you the sleepover ones.'' he whines, his face almost matches the pink streak in his hair.

Your conversation is interrupted when the very focus of it enters the building.

''Jongho! Why'd you have to go and embarrass me like that!'' Yunho complains despite already gathering up what you assume is Jonghos usual order.

''What? They asked for cute stories about you, so I told them.'' He says nonchalantly, sipping on his drink once it's handed to him.

''Well- I didn't ask for specifically cute stories-''

''Yes you did.''

You kind of want to hit Jonghos coconut head with a real one for this, he just finds it hilarious that you're both equally as embarrassed now.

''Which story made him react this way? The-'' He begins to list them off when Yunho interrupts him with 'The teddy one.'

''Ah, that's a classic. Still dunno what's so embarrassing about it though.'' He says.

Yunho huffs and punches his arm, ''It's embarrassing because I'm a fully grown man who couldn't sleep without a teddy bear and had to bring it to a sleepover!''

''San literally has his entire bed covered in them, none of us were going to think it was weird.''

''But still!''

The three of you pass the time once Yunho is finished for the day, he had a shorter shift so he's happy to spend the evening sitting and talking, and he shares embarrassing stories about Jongho as revenge.

By the time the building has to close, you all agree to go your separate ways. Yunho lives in the same street at the shop, Jongho is going to a friends house to study, and you don't quite feel comfortable enough with going to Yunhos house yet to continue the conversations.

He asks you to wait at the door before you leave though, claiming he left something in the kitchen and needs to go pick it up.

When he comes back, he's holding a little bag, which he hands to you.

''I've been wanting to try something new with one of the cupcakes- I was hoping you'd try it and let me know what you think?'' He asks, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

''You never said you baked.'' You say, a little surprised at the gesture.

''Ah- well I don't really bake what's on the menu, but I thought this might be an improvement so I worked on it in my free time.'' He says with a smile, fiddling with the sleeves of his sweater.

You nod and reply that you'd give the snack a try, then you part ways as you exit his neighbourhood.

When you get home and finally sit down that night, you open up the bag, noticing the cupcake in a little container and a small pouch in the bag beside it.

You open the pouch first, curious to what's inside and notice a small teabag and a note.

''Y/N. I figured you'd enjoy this with your food, It's the same brand we use at The Aurora! You seem to really like it so I thought I'd give you one.''

There's a little smiley face scribbled next to it, and below is a phone number.

Well, at least you don't have to worry about asking for it now.

Setting the note aside, you finally open up the cupcake, It's an angel cake like what you ordered before, but you notice the cream is tinted a little bit orange. Upon tasting it, you realise it's peach flavoured, matching the tea you'd usually drink with it.

You decide to finally message Yunho, sending a quick hello and thanking him for the gift.

Yunho: So, what do you think of it?

You: It’s just peachy :)

#ateez #ateez yunho #jeong yunho #x reader #ateez fanfics #ateez x reader #yunho x reader

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crashdevlin · 5 years ago

Text

Civil Warriors 6- Africa

Civil Warriors Masterlist

Author’s Note: Originally posted to ao3 (This is an edited and improved version) Part Three of the Red Queen Chronicles!

Summary: The three super soldiers start their trek toward Wakanda.

Word Count: 4665

Pairing(s): Clint Barton x OFC, Bucky Barnes x OFC

Chapter Warnings: mentions of torture, mentions of brainwashing, mentions of murder, Bucky Barnes being suave

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure that you’re okay to walk this whole way?” Bucky asked as the sun started to go down on the second day of their trek across Africa. None of them had slept and it was evident in their attitudes.

“Barnes, don’t ask again,” Cassie snapped. “I’m just as genetically gifted as you and Steve are. Just because I’m a woman-”

“Hey, it’s not about that!” Bucky interrupted, blue eyes going wide. “I’m just...guess I just don’t know much about your abilities, so…”

“How about we make camp?” Steve suggested, hefting his bag off of his shoulder and dropping it to the ground. “We could use the rest.”

“I’ll get a fire going,” Bucky volunteered.

“And I can regale you with my back story while I set up the tent. Ya know, the stuff after Hydra lost me.” Cassie dropped her bag to the ground at her feet and grabbed the tent. “See, Fury stormed Der Spielplatz with fifty men and grabbed everyone on base. I think it was called Operation Playtime Distortion. It was a rescue operation for Agent Mackenzie. They found my files before they found me. I remember the look on Fury’s face when he walked into my cell on the sublevel and found me, sitting on my bed...confused. Confused, brainless, without a single memory to work from.”

She sighed and licked her lips, avoiding the gaze of the blue-eyed men with her. “He took me and cuffed me and put me on a plane to the Fridge.” She looked at Bucky for a sign of recognition of the name, but she didn’t find any so she continued. “Fridge was a place where SHIELD put dangerous people, dangerous items. I was there for ten years, basically grew up in that cell...all that I remembered of my life was in the Fridge for a long time. Fury didn’t want to release me into the world. For good reason...he read the file. He knew what was buried in my head.”

She bit the inside of her lip and cleared her throat. “Ten years in captivity, though, and I never showed it. When I was eighteen, I started a relationship with an agent...one of Fury’s right hand men...he convinced Fury to...got him to consider letting me out, but it took two more years of Fury considering before he eventually let me out.”

Cassie rolled the tent out and grabbed the poles. “I mean, I really thought I was normal. I mean, I obviously knew I was Red Skull’s daughter, but I thought of it more as…” She shrugged. “Johann Schmidt was just the sperm donor, you know? I wasn’t a Nazi. I was just a girl. I couldn’t remember the Hydra labs at all by the time I was eighteen and I hadn’t ever shown any abnormal physiology. Except the lack of a belly button, I was just like everyone else. I thought maybe I was really lucky and Red Skull’s enhancements couldn’t be passed down. Maybe it just wasn’t in me and I was okay with that. It meant I could focus on the goals I had for after I got out of the Fridge.”

Cassie pushed the first set of poles through the tent and grabbed the second set. “I wanted to get out, get a degree, get a job, get married, have a baby. I was halfway to a degree by the time I got out of the Fridge. My boyfriend got me started on the baby. He didn’t know that. I didn’t tell him. Would’ve just been...complicated. Things with Phil were over by then and it was easier for me to just...drop out of college and move to New York, just in time for Loki to rain down a storm of aliens on our heads. I was lucky, didn’t have to deal with the Chitauris, though. No, I got to contend with the Asgardian prince himself,” she said bitterly. “When he pulled me out from under the lab table where I was hiding and used his scepter to put me in a trance. Somehow, he used that thing to unlock what was in me. He unlocked my genetics. I was...suddenly strong, agile, an Olympic-level athlete.”

“So, Loki made you a super soldier?” Bucky asked as the fire started.

“Not really. I wasn’t a soldier. I was a super lab tech. Super...rape victim. Super broken.” She smiled sadly. “Super alcoholic. I spent almost all of my money on booze that year. Takes a lot to get me drunk. I assume you guys have a similar issue.”

“Haven’t tried. I was afraid of what might...happen,” Bucky answered, quietly.

“I tried...in ‘44 when Bucky fell off the train. Only drank one bottle, though. Might’ve worked if I drank more,” Steve said.

Cassie nodded. “Gotta drink fast. I’ve found that two bottles of strong, cheap whiskey are enough to get me drunk...for about an hour and a half. Which was usually enough to get me to sleep for a while.” She licked her lips as she pushed the second set of poles through the tent. “I fell into a deep spiral for a year. Loki, he killed my daughter, raped me, carved his name into my chest...it didn’t seem like there was very much good in life.”

“Been there,” Bucky muttered, pulling food out of his bag.

“Anyway, uh, Clint showed up after about a year of me...bottling everything up in whiskey. He was nice. He saw the potential in me, knew my damage...or at least the damage Loki caused...but he tried to help me find myself anyway.” She scoffed derisively. “Unfortunately, Loki noticed. He didn’t like that I was spending time with another man. He doesn’t ever like when I spend time with other men. He’s not exactly thrilled that I’m out here with you.”

“You think he’s watching us?” Steve asked, standing straight and looking around.

“He’s watching me. He’s always watching me. The psycho thinks I’m his queen, he’s gonna have an eye on me...as often as possible, anyway,” she said as she started pushing stakes into the ground one by one. “Loki showed up with the scepter again and put me in a trance. Steve was there for this part. Loki made me ‘Joanna’. Now, when I came back to myself after a couple weeks of following Loki around as Joanna, I thought I was evil. I thought Joanna was evil because of how I followed that jerk around, but she wasn’t. She just didn’t have all of my hang-ups. I talked to a shrink and he clarified some stuff. I realized that Joanna was just me without my inhibitions. But at first, I was convinced I was evil. I ran away...to Austria. I spe-”

“She left the base in a hospital gown. No shoes, nothing,” Steve said, his tone proud. “We were in the Alps, Buck, but she survived, made it down the mountain without even a hint of frostbite.”

“Didn’t know you were so impressed by that,” she mumbled.

“Of course I was. We thought you were dead after we went a few days without finding you...but then Clint found you.”

“Only after Loki found me first.” Cassie sighed as she looked at the tent. It was undoubtedly going to be a very tight fit for three supersoldiers. “Anyway, I lived the simple life in Austria for a few months. I worked at this little diner and relearned German, ‘cause when Fury steamrolled my Hydra indoctrination, he felt the need to rid me of my Mother Tongue.” She cleared her throat to deal with the bitterness. “Anyway, horrible nightmares, spiral of depression and sadness, found God but that wasn’t hard since I was sleeping in the closet of the local mission. Loki found me again, had his way with me again, disguised as the priest who kept me from trying to kill myself for two months. He didn’t have his scepter that time thought so I fought back and I fought back hard and then I ran...straight into Clint, who brought me back.”

She laughed quietly. “Blah blah blah, identity issues. Blah blah, my ex sent me to a shrink, I realized I wasn’t evil and that I could make up for my family legacy through being a superhero. Became an Avenger, Clint started teaching me Ops stuff and...I started remembering.” She turned to look at the soldiers. Bucky’s eyes were focused on her, but Steve was looking at the ground. “Muscle memory kicked in first. The way I field-stripped my pistol, how well I moved during sparring sessions. I held off the actual memories as long as possible, tried to focus on the ‘now’, but...when I told Pietro Maximoff that I’d never killed anyone, I got the first flash of…” She took a deep breath and swallowed. “Agent Mackenzie. It wasn’t much but it made me see that, if I kept letting myself remember then there was no way I was going to be the woman I thought I was when I was in the Fridge. If I remembered, I’d become more of this...other person. The ‘worse than Joanna’ person that Fury knew I was. So, I left the Avengers, went back to school.”

“Until I called you into this,” Steve said, guiltily.

“I was still remembering anyway, Steve. Remember Christmas? I wasn’t sleeping, freaked out when I was cutting the ham. It wasn’t being an Avenger that was doing it...it was everything. It was living my life.”

Steve nodded, standing straight, but maintaining an air of guilt. “Hey, Bucky, you wanna come with me, do a perimeter check?” he asked. Bucky followed without a word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, how’d you end up with the archer?” Bucky asked, eating his MRE spaghetti. “I know how you met, but how’d he get you to date him?”

“Hey, don’t say it like that. Archery’s sexy,” she defended, eating a large cracker. “Um...I don’t know, really. He’s nice and charismatic...attractive. Blue eyes get to me...and he’s a relentless flirt. He was workin’ me from the moment I met him.” She looked down and picked up a packet of peanut butter. “I think...in all seriousness, I think when I started to get confused about who I was, I needed someone who knew the real me. Clint used to surveil me for Fury...off and on for about two years, he watched me. So, he knew the woman I was with Phil. He knew all about me. He got to witness the happy optimist with the flair for science. I need that. I-I liked his bluntness and he wanted to fix me.”

“That’s the basis of your relationship?” Bucky asked, licking his spork. “Doesn’t seem very strong to me.”

“Well, sex is a factor,” Cassie responded flippantly, eliciting a deep blush to break out across Steve’s face.

Bucky reached out and hit his shoulder. “Come on, Steve. People are gonna think you’re a virgin if you act like that,” he teased.

“He’s not one?” Cassie asked.

“Buck…” Steve warned, glaring across the fire at his friend.

“Nah, I got him laid during the war,” Bucky answered, ignoring the look. “See, he had his heart set on Agent Carter, but his loins were just fine with this pretty French girl.”

Cassie chuckled as she ripped open the peanut butter. “Well, Clint and Tony owe me ten bucks.”

“You bet on whether I was a virgin?” Steve asked, eyes wide. Cassie just shrugged and Steve looked down at his knees. “Sophie was a very nice girl. I would’ve written her but...ya know, frozen in a block of ice.”

“A nice girl? I thought nice girls waited ‘til marriage back in your day.”

“She was French,” Bucky said, like it was the only explanation needed.

“Much more liberal in France back then,” Steve explained.

“Okay, then,” Cassie said, laughing. “So, wait...just the one, Steve?”

“Why does it matter?” Steve asked, running his fingers through his hair. “I mean, one is more than you guys thought, right?”

“Actually, I assumed you’d had several just since you thawed out,” Cassie responded before gesturing at him. “I mean, look at you. In today’s society, you being amazingly handsome and heroic...I figured you might have been talked into a couple one night stands.” The blush on his cheeks seemed to take Steve’s whole face, spreading like wildfire.

“Even I’ve gotten laid since you’ve been thawed out,” Bucky added.

Cassie looked playfully offended. “Oh, so the thing about not having a woman in your arms since the forties, that was just a line?”

“I said a ‘beautiful woman’,” Bucky corrected. “Ludmilla was a troll.”

Cassie laughed. “Really? You needed to get some so bad that you had sex with a troll named ‘Ludmilla’?”

Bucky smiled. “You sleep with Clint,” he reminded before tucking his hair behind his ears. “In my defense, I was breaking a seventy year abstinence.”

She smirked as she turned to look at Steve. “What about you? Have you broken that ‘frozen in a block of ice’ abstinence yet?”

“I-I really don’t think this is an appropriate-”

“Romanoff?” Cassie interrupted. “CIA Agent Carter?”

Steve sighed and looked away. “There was a SHIELD agent. She asked me to coffee, then we went to dinner...afterwards, she got a little...needful.”

Cassie turned to Bucky. “‘Needful’ equals ‘horny’, right?” Bucky nodded.

“That was a few months before SHIELD fell. Haven’t seen her since,” Steve finished quickly.

“You okay, Steve?” Bucky asked.

“Um...I just realized that she might have been Hydra,” he responded, rubbing at his temple and looking like he was questioning every decision he had ever made.

“I’m sure she wasn’t-” Cassie started, but Bucky interrupted.

“Might’ve been.”

“Well, she didn’t kill you in your sleep so you can probably count on her not being Hydra,” Cassie rationalized.

“Well, I didn’t...sleep.”

“You dog, you,” Cassie teased.

“All right, all right. Finish up your food and we’ll bed down.” Steve turned away, looking completely embarrassed as the other laughed at him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cassie lay on her side with her back to Bucky and Steve. The tent was small. They’d only been expecting to need room for two and she wasn’t large, but her two companions were. She tried to make herself even smaller, but her feet kept touching Bucky’s legs, her ass kept brushing against him every time she wiggled a bit to chase comfort. Or maybe it was the other way. Maybe he was touching her.

A few minutes after Steve’s breathing deepened and slowed, Cassie felt Bucky shift. He turned over to lie on his left side, facing her. “You smell good,” he whispered, tentatively moving his hand over to rest on her hand. “Which is so crazy since we’ve been sweating for two days.”

“There are pheromones in the natural scent of a person,” she whispered back, unsure of what to say. “But I...I have been wearing an antiperspirant. Just...saying.” She swallowed heavily as his hand began to drift up, his fingertips playing with the hem of her tank top.

“Steve told me to back off,” he whispered, his breath cascading over her ear and cheek. “I get why. How we were raised...back then, it was more than just a low move to make a pass at another man’s girl, ‘specially if he put a ring on her finger.” His hand slipped under her shirt and rested heavily above the thick circular scar she gave herself to represent a navel when she was eighteen. “But you’re not like any woman I’ve ever met. You’re nothing like the women from the forties but you...you’re not meant for 2016 either. I’ve lived through so many decades and...here you are. Here’s this beautiful woman who sees what little good is left in me.”

“I saw the good fifteen years ago, when you brought the CSF to the Playground. You were so cold and emotionless when you walked in. So strong and stoic, but when you saw me strapped down to that table in a fetal position so they could inject the CSF, you literally flinched.” She took a deep breath and sighed it out. “You refused to give them the vial. They had to call in your handler.”

“I just couldn’t believe they were experimenting on you. You were so young. I knew they were going to break you. I wish I could have stopped them.”

“It’s not your fault, Sergeant. I know you would have stopped them if you could have.” She turned over to face him, forcing his fingers to slide over her hip and settle in the small of her back. “You are absolutely a good man, Bucky.”

He shook his head a little, his tair tickling her forehead as it moved. “A good man wouldn’t have spent the last two days wanting another man’s fiancée.”

She scoffed a little. “And a good woman wouldn’t be so damn excited to hear that. I guess neither of us are perfect.”

Bucky smiled softly. “To me, you are. As close to perfect as a man can touch.” He brought his hand up to pull a lock of sweaty hair from her forehead and tuck it back with the rest of her hair. So much care in a single action.

“Bucky...I meant what I said in Germany, ya know. If there was a man who might take me from Clint, it’d be you,” she whispered, part of her wondering exactly why she was telling the man.

His eyes went just a little wide. “I...we better turn back over.” His hand returned to the small of her back, though. “If Steve sees this, he’ll start a fight and I’m a bit disadvantaged at the moment.”

Cassie smiled. “I’d protect you, soldier.”

“No doubt about that,” Bucky whispered, smiling as he rubbed a circle into the small of her back with his thumb. “But we’ve got two weeks ‘til Wakanda. Plenty of time to piss off Captain America.” He licked his lips before pulling his hand back and rolling over to his back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As they were walking the next day, Cassie’s bag began to ring. “You brought a phone?” Steve asked as she dropped the pack to the ground and started to dig through it.

“Cool your jets, Rogers. I’m not an idiot,” she snapped, pulling out an old Nokia cell phone with a thick antenna.

“Whoa. Even I know that’s ancient tech,” Bucky said as he looked at it.

“Ancient, yes, but functional. Not working on the same systems as the new stuff. No GPS. If I keep the call short, they won’t even be able to ping the mobile towers,” she said, proudly. “Had to steal it from a museum, but it’s tactically sound.” She hit the button and held the cell to her ear. “Moshi moshi?”

“Cassie?” a familiar voice asked.

“Phil? Wh-what’s going on? How’d you know I have this-”

“I was wondering if I could use you on something...kinda world-ending important. Mack says he can’t get a location on your cell. Where are you?”

“Phil, it’s a...it’s a long story, but, uh...I’ll get back to you,” she said, moving to hang up.

“No! Don’t hang up! I wouldn’t be calling if I didn’t need-” Phil started.

“Is that Coulson?” Steve asked as Bucky looked between the other two.

“Is that Captain America?” Phil asked.

“Yeah, it is,” she answered both of them at the same time. “Look, I can’t stay on the phone. I know you’re running traces and you’re gonna have a location for me any minute now. I can’t let you find me. I’m actually pretty damn busy.”

“I have an Inhuman parasite in the body of a man I killed working to destroy the world. He’s infected Daisy and taken control of her, I think this is a little more important than whatever you’re doing in North Africa, Cassie.”

“Thanks for letting me know the trace is working,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I will call you back later. This is important, too.”

“Ya know, I thought you signed the Accords as a ruse to get out of the Raft, but if you’re not willing to help me with this just because it’s off the books-”

“Mein Gott, Philip! This has nothing to do with that! I am helping Cap and Bucky make it somewhere safe so that we can mount an offensive on the Raft and help the other Avengers escape captivity! If you really need help with Inhuman, we can help you after the jailbreak. I will call you back then! Goodbye, Phil!” Cassie snapped, turning off the phone and shoving it back into her bag. She looked up at the soldiers who were both looking down at her questioningly. “He was talking too much. I had to cut him off before they got a location,” she explained calmly.

“Who’s Coulson?” Bucky asked, offering his hand as she went to stand. She took it and slung her backpack over her shoulder.

“I told you I had an ex who’s a big fan of Cap and the Commandos?” she reminded him. “Phil Coulson, Director of SHIELD.”

“You dated the director of SHIELD?” Bucky asked.

“Well, he wasn’t Director when I dated him,” she said, smiling.

“He’s a good man,” Steve said, thinking of Coulson dead at Loki’s hand.

“That’s a recurrent theme with your boyfriends, isn’t it?” Bucky asked as Cassie adjusted the straps of her bag. “A good man, just couldn’t keep you.”

Cassie looked at her feet as she started to walk away from them. “Phil didn’t want to keep me. He found a pretty little cellist in Portland. He decided on her.”

“What an idiot,” Bucky commented, following her.

“And Clint hasn’t lost me yet,” she finished.

Bucky nodded once and moved past her to take point. “Where’s your ring?” he whispered as he passed her. Cassie looked down at her left hand, shocked to see that her engagement ring was gone. “Pocket.”

“How’d it get there, Barnes?” she asked, patting her pants.

“Don’t want people seeing it,” he said, turning his head to look at her. “Might think you’re worth stealing or something.”

“I’m definitely worth stealing. My wit alone is enough to make me worth the effort.”

“And that body of yours is just icing,” Bucky shot back with a smirk.

“On a very intelligent cake. Don’t objectify me, Sergeant,” she said with a smile.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart. You and I have both been objects.”

“Do you have to do that?” Steve snapped from behind her.

“You’re right, Steve. Let’s just pretend we don’t have a gorgeous woman traveling with us,” Bucky said.

Steve rolled his eyes. “You don’t need to pretend anything, but you shouldn’t be so shameless with-”

“A grown-ass woman who’s giving as good as she’s getting?” Cassie interrupted. “I’m not married, Steve.”

“Your fiance is sitting in a cell right now because of me. The least I can do is make sure that my best friend doesn’t break up his engagement while he’s stuck in there.”

“Glad you think so highly of me, Steve,” Bucky mumbled.

“I think the world of you, both of you,” Steve said, seriously. “That’s why I don’t want you to do something damaging to-”

“Steve, stop. If I chose to break off my engagement to Barton, it would be because I chose to. Not because of Bucky or you. Maybe I’m…” She shook her head. “...not really sure I want to be married. Maybe I don’t know who I am so how could I possibly make a good addition to someone else? Maybe I can’t marry him because I’ve been hiding the unsavory parts of myself from him. The worst thing he knows about me is Joanna.”

“Clint would love you anyway,” Steve said, matter-of-factly.

Cassie scoffed. “If he wanted an assassin for a bride, he’d have asked Natasha a long time ago.”

“You aren’t an assassin, Cassie,” Steve said, grabbing her hand to stop her.

She smirked sardonically as she turned and looked up at him. “We don’t know that, do we? What we do know is that at least one of the names on SHIELD’s Walls of Valor was on there because of me. I’ve killed. A good man, a good agent, one that Fury liked enough to go on a search for.” She shook her head and forced out a sharp breath of air. “Were there more? Was it a whole group of agents that I murdered? I don’t know. You don’t know. But just one is enough to make me question myself forever. And it’ll be enough for Clint to stop seeing me as his pristine Red Queen.”

Steve’s eyebrows came together. “He doesn’t love you because you’re… ‘pristine’.”

“He wouldn’t love me if he knew I was a monster, Steve,” she argued.

“I don’t agree,” Steve said as Bucky stopped and turned to them. “And you aren’t a monster.”

“You don’t have to agree. I know him. I know Clint. He sees me as this beautiful, broken thing, a little bit scarred but otherwise beautiful. The biggest scar on me is supposed to be the one Loki carved into my chest. He thinks that I’m...getting better, but I’m just getting better at hiding it. I shouldn’t have to hide anything from him though and I do. I have to hide. You think it won’t change how he sees me when he finds out I murdered someone? You can’t say that, Cap, because it’s changed how you look at me.” Steve opened his mouth to argue, but Cassie continued before he could. “You look at me and Bucky like Clint looks at fuckin’ rescue dogs. ‘Oh sure, this one has scars from being forced into dog fights but we can rehabilitate him!” she said in a mock of Clint’s voice before her face fell.

“Except we didn’t get the Pit Bull with the clipped ears and the scars, Steve. We got the Golden Retriever with the waggly tail who eats pizza.” She stepped toward Bucky and adjusted her bag on her back. “I don’t mind being the Pit Bull so much but Clint thinks I’m the Retriever...and it’s gonna hurt our relationship when he realizes I’m not.”

Steve shook his head sadly. “When did you decide your relationship was over?” he asked, quietly.

She looked between Steve and Bucky, then shrugged. “Probably when I saw how he looked at Bucky.”

“Was that before or after you told him that Bucky could take you from him?” Steve asked, pointedly.

“Back when we were still stateside, Steve. When we were watching the news about the bombing in Vienna,” Cassie answered before she started walking again. “He looked at Bucky like he was a rabid dog.”

“I’m not excited about all these dog metaphors,” Bucky spoke up as he followed her.

“I just don’t think you should write off your whole engagement until you know how Clint feels about...your past.”

“My past. Like it’s that simple.” She rolled her eyes. “This isn’t like you finding out I was pregnant with Phil’s kid or that I wanted so badly to be a mother that I was willing to let Loki’s child destroy me from the inside. This is worse. This is murder.”

“But ‘murder’ implies you did it on purpose, Cassie. You were forced-” Steve started.

“No, I wasn’t forced. I was given an order and I didn’t even try to resist. I murdered that agent and...memories are vague, but I think I liked it. I am a murderer, Steve. Clint is not.”

“We’ve all done regrettable things,” Steve said.

“Not like this. Only Bucky can understand this.” She swallowed thickly. “Look, drop it. I’m not who he thinks I am and I never will be,” she said before walking away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @wasabiwitteks @rainbowkisses31 @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661 @officiallyunofficialperson @dolphincliffs @mrs-meghan-winchester @gayspacenerd @foxyjwls007 @ilovefanfic86 @marvelfansworld @f-yeahfandoms @wonderlandfandomkingdom @hhiggs @sev3nruby @hobby27 @paintballkid711 @divadinag @thewhiterabbit42 @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark @cosicas-cuquis @superfanficnatural @letsby @supernatural-bellawinchester @onethirstyunicorn @swinchester27 @chalicia @sunnyroadtrips @screechingartisancashbailiff @death-unbecomes-you @dayasvalkyrie

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#cassie writes stuff #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers #bucky barnes #OFC #red queen chronicles

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bee-kathony · 6 years ago

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Kneading Love | Ch. 6 “Flourish”

a/n: thank you very much for reading! as always, thank you @julesbeauchamp for the cute moodboard xx

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five

May 1st, 1946

Today was the day. Claire’s flower shop was finally opening. After months of cultivating and pruning, everything was just as she saw it in her mind. There was a strong smell of a wild garden, and Claire kept the front door open, hoping the smell would lure people in.

Other than it being the first day of her shop opening, it was also Jamie’s birthday. Granted, she only found out that information three days ago — on a night she wouldn’t soon forget.

They had spent the night in each other’s arms, whispering sweet nothings and talking about their pasts. It was a comfort to Claire to have someone she could really talk to and know that every word was heard. Jamie made her feel whole and safe.

Her stomach was in knots waiting for him to arrive. But she was distracted by customers that kept pouring in, wanting to know more information about all the flowers she grew.

Not only did she have a wide selection of flowers, from thistles to hydrangeas, she also had one corner of the shop dedicated to plants for medicinal purposes. One older woman, Moira, had asked for a salve that would help with dry itchy skin.

“Is that peppermint I smell?” Moira asked, taking a whiff of the open jar that Claire held to her nose.

“Indeed!” Claire grinned, scooping out a small bit. “This is all natural salve for even the driest hands. A bit of peppermint, chamomile, plantain, calendula and beeswax to help make it really smooth.”

Claire spread the salve over the woman’s hands and then the excess on her own. The smell was divine and Claire was quite proud of this mixture. She adored fresh scents, like eucalyptus and mint.

“My skin feels softer already, lassie,” Moira smiled. “I’ll take a jar if ye please.”

“Of course,” Claire grinned and picked up an unopened jar of the salve. “Just put this on your hands one to two times a day and you’ll see improvements within a week.”

Walking over to the counter with Moira, Claire checked the woman out, tying her package in brown paper and with red string. As soon as she was finished with one customer, another was needing her help.

Within the next hour, Claire had sold a few more balms and bouquets. Customers were also out back in her greenhouse, taking a look at the plants that were still growing. Claire was proud of her little shop, and felt that all her hard work was finally paying off.

Having her hands in the earth, and growing something was one of the best feelings. Claire had always had a green thumb and a nose for flowers. When she was younger and lived with her uncle Lamb, she could be found digging up some exotic plant or root and discovering all of its uses.

The bell above the door signaled a new customer and Claire didn’t have a chance to look up as she was wrapping a bouquet of pink roses for Mr. Jamison to take home to his wife. A deep Scottish voice filled the room and Claire instantly smiled.

“It looks incredible in here, Sassenach!” Jamie said proudly. He held out his arms and Claire jumped into them, letting him squeeze and lift her off the ground.

“Happy birthday, Jamie,” she whispered and kissed him tenderly. “I’m so glad you made it.”

“Aye, I am too,” he kissed her again and set her on her feet.

“Claire, this place is just beautiful,” Ellen said from behind Jamie and took her into her arms. “Jamie told me this place would be grand, but he didna say just how much. The smell alone is heaven!”

“Why thank you, Ellen,” Claire said, pleased. “I’ve got something to ask you after you’ve had a look around.”

“Of course, lassie,” Ellen winked and walked further into the shop. Jenny wrapped both arms around Claire, squeezing her almost as tight as Jamie had.

“I love it, Claire, tis so wonderful,” Jenny beamed. “Jamie was bein’ so impatient this morning tryin’ to get the orders done so we could close early and come here.”

“You closed early for me?” Claire gasped. “You shouldn’t have!”

“Tis also my birthday,” Jamie attempted to wink, making Claire laugh as he nudged her side. “Will ye show us around?”

Claire slid her arm through Jamie and Jenny’s and led them around the store. Pointing out the different types of flowers and herbs. Jenny had her eye on the yellow tulips, another of Claire’s favorites.

“Do you have a favorite, Jamie?” Claire asked as they stepped off to the side.

He furrowed his brow, placing his hand under his chin. “Hmm, well I dinna ken much about flowers. Only what ye’ve told me. And I think I’m quite patriotic so I’d say anything scottish.”

“A good choice,” Claire nodded. “You’ve got the Scottish thistle, and of course the heather.”

“I also like those wee ones, they blue forget-me-nots were they called?”

When they had gone on their picnic shortly after meeting, they had sat down in a meadow full of forget-me-nots. Of course Jamie would remember that small fact.

“I love those too,” Claire smiled and took his hand, leading him outside where a patch of forget me nots was growing amongst other wild flowers. She knelt down and picked a few, presenting them to Jamie. “For you.”

He smelled them before taking them. “Bonny, just as the woman who grew them.”

As much as Claire was enjoying her shop being open and helping customers, she was also ready for them all to leave so she could spend the evening with Jamie alone. Even now, his hand resting lightly on her arm was sending chills down her spine. His eyes bore into hers, keeping her captive, unable to move.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about the other night,” Claire said softly, sliding one hand around his waist. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that someone was approaching the counter, ready to purchase their goods, but she just needed another moment. “It was lovely, Jamie.”

“Aye,” Jamie pressed his forehead against hers. “I’ve thought of little else since I last held ye in my arms. I burned a batch of sourdough yesterday actually because I was thinkin’ about yer —“

“Excuse me, miss!”

“Jesus H. Christ,” Claire muttered under her breath and Jamie reluctantly released her as she attended to the waiting customer.

For the next twenty minutes, Claire was tied to the counter, helping customer after customer. It was opening day, so it likely wouldn’t be this busy all the time, and for that Claire was thankful. There was only so much she could do on her own.

Remembering what she needed to ask Ellen about, she asked Jenny to mind the register and found Ellen admiring the rose bush outside.

“I knew you’d love those,” Claire said.

“Aye, I love roses,” Ellen wrapped her arms around herself. “They were Brian’s favorite too.”

“Ellen,” Claire said. “I’ve been wondering if you would like to help me out in the shop? As you can see, I could use all the help I can get! And Jamie’s told me so much about your love for gardening, it only made sense to ask.”

Ellen’s face was unreadable, just like her son’s. But then a single tear fell down her cheek, and Claire reached out her hand to comfort her.

“Oh, maybe I shouldn’t have asked,” Claire shook her head. “I’m so sorry.”

“No, lass,” Ellen gripped her hand and wiped at her tears. “Ye did fine. I would love to help ye! Workin’ here would give me such great pleasure, dear.”

The two women embraced, and Claire knew she had made the right decision. Ellen had welcomed her into their family as one of their own, so it was the least Claire could do to offer her a small job. And besides, Claire would enjoy her company.

“Usually on my Jamie’s birthday, we celebrate as a family over dinner,” Ellen said as she and Claire walked back inside the shop. “But, I ken Jamie is lookin’ forward to spendin’ this one wi’ ye.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to take him away from a tradition!”

“It’s no worries, dear,” Ellen grinned. “I’ve had him for twenty-four birthdays. Tis yer turn now.”

The birthday boy was leaning against the counter as the two women approached. He smiled wide as his mother embraced him, and the sight nearly melted Claire’s heart.

“I think Jenny and I will head on home,” Ellen said. “Happy birthday, my lad,” she kissed Jamie on the cheek.

“Thanks mam,” Jamie’s cheeks turned pink.

“We’ll see ye again soon, Claire?” Jenny asked.

“Yes,” Claire nodded, looking over at Jamie quickly who was holding back a smile. “I think I’ll find myself over for dinner one of these nights.”

Jamie’s mother and sister left while he stayed behind, making himself busy straightening up behind the counter.

“You know, you really don’t have to stay until I close,” Claire said to Jamie after she helped another customer. “It’ll be at least another hour.”

“I dinna mind, Sassenach,” Jamie cupped her cheek. “I like to watch ye work, see ye in yer element.”

Hooking one arm loosely around his waist, she pulled him close. “I should warn you about tonight. I’m afraid I’m not very good at planning birthdays, so it looks like it’ll just be dinner and then um… something else.”

His brow twitched at that. There was no need to explain just exactly what that something else was that Claire had in mind. It was written all over Jamie’s face that that’s what he had in mind as well.

“That sounds perfect, a nighean,” he kissed her nose. “I’ll go and make myself busy in the back while ye attend to yer customers.”

The next hour passed as slow as molasses. Each time Claire looked up at the clock, it had barely moved an inch. Maybe she should have chosen to open up the store the next day so that she could’ve spent the whole day with Jamie. If things worked out like she thought they would, Jamie and Claire would be spending every birthday from here on out with each other. So, what was another hour watching him piddle around in the back?

++++++

“I hope you don’t mind fish, it’s one of the few things I can actually cook,” Claire speared a bite on her fork. “Living near the front taught me quite a few things, but cooking wasn’t one of them.”

“Oh, I love fish!” Jamie said enthusiastically, taking a large bite. “Honestly, I’ll eat anythin’, I’m no’ verra picky.”

“Good,” Claire laughed.

“How long were ye in the war? Was it the whole time?” Jamie asked between bites.

Claire didn’t talk about the war often, and that was mainly because she never had anyone interested enough to ask. She had spent four years in the war, and had never known which day might be her last. Learning to appreciate the small moments was something she would come to learn.

“It was tough work,” Claire took a sip of wine. “Most of the time I had my hands covered in blood and didn’t know day from night. But now, if you ever needed stitches, I’m your girl.”

Jamie chuckled, “I may take ye up on that offer, Sassenach. I’ve been known to slice my hand open a time or two with a freshly sharpened knife.”

“Says the baker,” Claire winked. “Do you ever wish you could have fought in the war?” She asked seriously.

The scot thought for a moment before answering. “Sometimes I do. Only because I dinna understand what the men who came back went through — what they saw out there. But, sometimes I hear things — horrible, terrible things, and I dinna wish to have fought anymore than I wish to have my hand chopped off.”

“I often wonder if I would have volunteered had I known just exactly what I was getting myself into,” Claire mused.

“And would ye? Volunteer again?”

“Yes,” Claire said right away. “I could do without the occasional nightmare, but knowing that I had a small part in saving someone’s life…”

“Aye, perhaps when ye put it that way — I think I’d like to have fought for my country, battles scars and all.” He reached across the table, and squeezed her hand firmly. “Who knows, maybe I woulda been hurt and fallen into yer care.”

“You would’ve been a very stubborn patient, I reckon,” Claire chuckled and took another bite of the fish.

Jamie snorted. “My mam always did say I was a stubborn wee lad. And my Da would say the same thing. When I got into trouble, he used to take a belt to my backside — which was more often than I’d like to admit. But, I never made a sound through the hits,” Jamie smirked. “Didna want to give him the satisfaction.”

“Stubborn indeed,” Claire grinned.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Jamie said. “When’s yer birthday, Sassenach?”

“October 20th, 1918,” Claire replied, taking another sip of wine and watching Jamie’s reaction.

“Ahh,” he grinned mischievously. “So yer an older woman. Wiser, of course, and ye dinna look a day over twenty.”

“I was wondering when I should tell you,” Claire laughed and crossed her arms over her chest, still holding the glass. “It’s only a measly two years and a few months.”

“Just means yer more experienced,” Jamie said. “And I appreciate ye for no’ lookin’ down on me for my young nature.”

“Your very mature for your age,” Claire smiled. “I find most men in their twenties are these days… must be the effects of the war, it can really age a person. And as far as experience goes…” Claire clicked her tongue before standing up to take both of their empty plates to the kitchen.

“Are ye sayin’ I was yer first?” Jamie cocked a quizzical brow. “Cause I dinna believe that for a second, Sassenach.”

“So, you think I’m a floozy?” Claire turned her head to look back at him, and then laughed. “No, you weren’t my first, but you were — my second.”

“Christ,” Jamie stood up and crossed the room in three steps. “But yer —“

“Twenty-seven?” Claire sighed. “I know. I lost my virginity during the war, and all the other nurses around me were going at it like bunnies, but I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to do that — well,” Claire smirked, “I wanted to. But, I was preoccupied with everything going on around me, I suppose I simply forgot about that side of myself.”

Jamie grabbed both of her hands, bringing them up to his mouth to kiss gently. “For yer second time, ye did verra well, Sassenach. Verra… verra well. And I’m no’ one to be judgin’, ye see I’ve lain wi’ only two lasses.”

“Only two?” Claire looked him up and down. He was certainly handsome, and well built. She was surprised that he hadn’t slept with the whole town, but she also knew that wasn’t who he was.

“Aye,” he laughed. “And ye ken somethin’, a nighean?”

“Hmmm?”

“D'ye ken that the only time I am without pain is in your bed, Sassenach? When I take ye, when I lie in your arms-my wounds are healed, then, my scars forgotten,” he said softly.

“I do now,” Claire brought her arms up to his face and kissed him. “When you held me that night, I didn’t have a nightmare. I didn’t remember the loss or pain. It was only you… only you, Jamie.”

“Oh, Claire,” Jamie pressed their lips together again, this time sliding his hands down her body to lift her legs around his waist. He carried her over to the bed, wasting no time in laying her down and reaching for the hem of her dress.

They stripped each other of their clothes, hands reaching and bodies molding together. Claire hooked one leg around his hips, bringing him closer. She felt wild, staring into his ocean blue eyes. It was as if he had always contained a piece of her heart, and he was giving it back to her, completing the whole in her chest she had lived with for so many years.

“Sassenach?” Jamie nearly growled next to her ear as her hands slid over his back. “Can ye bear it if I’m rough wi’ ye?”

“God, yes!” Claire moaned, and arched her back off of the bed, in turn pressing her breasts against him. Jamie’s mouth was at her neck, his tongue sliding along her jaw. She felt his hand between her legs, grazing her wetness, making her squirm. Then, without warning, he took his cock in hand and pushed forward.

“Jesus,” she mumbled, shutting her eyes.

Jamie held still, his breathing rapid. As he leaned up, he simply stared down at Claire, knowing that if he were to die now, it would have been a wonderful and complete life.

“Please, please Jamie!” Claire begged him.

He reared back, placing both his arms on either side of her body and began a steady thrust. Each time he pushed forward, he hit something deep within her, making Claire cry out. It wasn’t pain, it was pure ecstasy.

Claire hooked one arm around his neck and brought him down to her, kissing him quickly and parting his lips with her tongue. She may have had little experience, but she was also a fast learner. Jamie’s thrusts were becoming more and more erratic, and she knew he was close, as was she.

“Faster, Jamie,” she mumbled against his lips. Her hands drifted down over his back, settling on his arse, squeezing it firmly. His body rolled on top of hers, pushing her into the bed with the force of his movements.

A moment later, he cried out, spilling inside of her, and seeing how Jamie fell apart, made Claire’s stomach tighten and she came hard and fast. Like a corpse, Jamie lay on top of her, his full weight nearly crushing her.

“Jamie!” Claire managed to squeak.

Rolling onto his side, he stayed rooted inside of her, cradling her in his arms. “Ye ken, I dinna think I’ve ever had such a good birthday present.”

“I sure hope not,” Claire snorted, burying her head against his chest. Her fingers moved along his chest, feeling the light sheen of sweat. “That would be a little odd if everyone gave you what I did.”

“Aye,” he laughed with her.

Claire wondered if she would ever tire of feeling this way — of loving the sensation of being held in Jamie’s arms. She placed a kiss to the underside of his jaw. “Thank you for coming to the shop today. It meant a lot that you were there.”

“I’ll always support ye, Sassenach,” he looked down at her, pressing one large hand to the back of her head. “That reminds me… what was it ye decided to name yer wee shop?”

“It’s rather cheesy I suppose,” Claire said, looking at him. “But I’ve decided to call it ‘Flourish’.”

“Flourish,” Jamie whispered. “Flourish,” he said it again and placed a kiss to her lips. “Tis perfect, mo chridhe. Just perfect.”

#kneading love #jamie x claire #outlander fanfic #outlander #outlander fanfiction #jamie fraser #claire fraser #claire beauchamp #chapter six #flourish

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thecomicsnexus · 6 years ago

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SUPERMAN #423, ACTION COMICS #583 SEPTEMBER 11986 BY ALAN MOORE, CURT SWAN, GEORGE PEREZ, KURT SCHAFFENBERGER AND GENE D’ANGELO

This is an imaginary story (which may never happen, but then again may) about a perfect man who came from the sky and did only good. It tells of his twilight, when the great battles were over and the great miracles long since performed; of how his enemies conspired against him and of that final war in the snow-blind wastes beneath the Northern Lights; of the two women he loved and of the choice he made between them; of how he broke his most sacred oath; and how finally all the things he had were taken from him save one. It ends with a wink. It begins in a quiet midwestern town, one summer afternoon in the quiet midwestern future. Away in the big city, people still sometimes glance up hopefully from the sidewalks, glimpsing a distant speck in the sky... but no: it's only a bird, only a plane. Superman died ten years ago. This is an imaginary story... Aren't they all?

SYNOPSIS (FROM SUPERMAN HOMEPAGE)

Summer has come to the Midwest, and the only thing that breaks the warm peacefulness of this little village this afternoon is the ring of a doorbell. The door opens framing a beautiful woman. "Ms Lane?" a young man asks. "It's Mrs. Lois Elliot, now," corrects the woman, opening the door for him to enter. "You must be Tim Crane, from the Planet," she says, and the young reporter the Daily Planet had sent to interview Lois for the Superman Memorial Edition makes himself at home on the couch.

To break the ice, Tim Crane tests his tape recorder then begins by asking about the two year period leading up to Superman's disappearance. "Were those happy times?" he asks. "Happy?" puzzles Lois. "I don't know... at least they were quiet," she begins. As if in a trance, Lois starts to tell her story. "Luthor had been quiet," she began, and "Brainiac had been pounded into scrap metal, save for the head that had never been recovered." Mostly, Superman worked in space doing research for the government, until one day he returned and found complete city blocks horribly destroyed. Jimmy rushed up to tell him that Bizarro had gone berserk, smashing buildings and injuring innocent people.

Walking into the shell that had once been a department store, Superman saw the destruction Bizarro has caused, and called to his imperfect replicate. "This am part of genius Bizarro self-improvement plan," laughed the grotesque creature, telling Superman that he had already destroyed Bizarro world, as Krypton had been destroyed. Then, realizing that to be the perfect imperfect double he must do everything opposite of Superman. If Superman cannot kill, Bizarro must kill millions, and if Superman is alive, then Bizarro must die. Holding a large piece of blue Kryptonite before himself, Bizarro collapsed to the floor, smiling. "Everything...him go dark," whispered Bizarro. "Hello, Superman. Hello." It didn't make sense even by Bizarro standards; genocide, homicide then suicide.

Several days later, at the WGBS television studios, two packages arrived just before Clark Kent made his daily newscast. Opening the smaller box, Lana Lang saw a group of Superman action figures and told Clark that they worked when the legs were squeezed together. Lifting one from the box, Lana demonstrated on one, and suddenly heat rays shot from its eyes. Suddenly, all of the figures became animated, and flew out of the box focusing their beams on Clark. "They're slicing him up," screamed Lana racing toward Clark, but Jimmy grabbed her. "It's too late. We can't save him," he yelled. But as the smoke cleared, Clark stands before them, his suit torn and burned revealing the familiar blue and red costume of Superman. Lana stared at him in amazement. "Clark, it was you. All of these years...it was you all of the time."

Their amazement is challenged when the voice of the Toyman and the Prankster crackled over small speakers in the figures. "He just combed his hair and stuck on a pair of glasses!" they laugh. "What a great gag!" "How did you know that I was Clark Kent?" screamed Superman. "Why don't you look in the big box," they replied, laughing wildly. The box was lead lined, but when Superman ripped it open the body of Pete Ross, who had known Superman's true identity since they were boys in Smallville, fell into view. The Prankster and Toyman continued to laugh hysterically at their apparent victory. "Do you know what radio waves look like..." Superman yelled, taking off faster than the eye can follow. Seconds later he smashed through the walls of their hideout. "...Because I do!" The next day, the world is shocked to read the headlines of the Planet that no one would have ever thought true: "Clark Kent Exposed as Superman." Later, at Pete Ross' funeral, Superman mused, "They were all just nuisances. What turned them into killers? If the nuisances from my past are coming back as killers, what will happen when the killers come back?"

Using a sophisticated detector, Lex Luthor searched the arctic circle, and finally located Brainiac's head. At first Luthor is ecstatic, but then he noticed the mask amazingly disassemble, then moved rapidly up Luthor's body to his head. With a disgusting "sludge", probes attached themselves to Luthor's skull, and took control of his motor and vocal pathways. The new Brainiac-Luthor team had been born. Turning slowly, Luthor began walking, stiffly, inexorably toward civilization one step, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another...

Several days passed before another event, almost as an omen, took place. In front of the Daily Planet building, an army of Metallos, hundreds of them, began climbing up the sides of the building, crashing through the glass breaking into the newsroom. Each of the Metallos attacked a member of the staff, a friend of Superman. But one sought Lois Lane, grabbed her, and threw her out of the broken window. "You alien loving tramp," he screamed at her. The reds and blues flowed together as Superman sped down and saved Lois as he has done countless times before, then turned upward to the roof. Using super-speed, he magnetized the giant planet on the top of the building and used it to gather up all of the Metallos.

But the danger was obvious. Superman decided that he must take all of his closest friends to the Fortress for safety. One by one, Superman transported Perry and Alice White, Lois and Lana, then Jimmy Olson. Almost on cue, Krypto returned from space, and stared at a life-size photo of Supergirl, almost tearing that she was killed in Crisis. The tension was so thick that focused heat vision could not cut through. Perry and Alice, at ropes end in their marriage, headed off to separate rooms. Lois and Lana, for so long rivals, consoled one another and themselves in their own fears.

Suddenly, the air crackled and the time bubble of the Legion of Super-Heroes appeared. Stepping from the bubble were all of the Legionnaires, including a young Kara... Supergirl. Brainiac V moved forward. "We thought you might appreciate the sight of a few friendly faces," he said. Then Kara greeted her cousin with a hug. "Is it cheating if you tell me if I grow up to be pretty," she asks. "You... grew up beautiful, Kara," choked back Superman. As the Legionnaires looked around the Fortress, Brainiac V took Superman aside and presented him with a gold statue of him holding a Phantom Zone projector. "We came here to meet with you again, and salute you," said Brainiac V solemnly. Superman looked at him sadly. "And pay your last respects, is that it?" Supergirl interrupted the tense moment. "I just thought of something," said Kara. "I thought I couldn't materialize in an era where you already existed?" "You're right," says Superman. "Right now, Supergirl is in the past."

Tearfully, the Legionnaires boarded their time bubble and slowly disappeared in an electric crackle. Left alone, Superman and Krypto sat quietly among their many trophies, the tributes to their heroic deeds... and their thoughts. "He never told me exactly what had happened the night before the siege began," says Lois. "But as soon as I saw him the next morning I knew something had upset him. He looked funny. He looked as if he had been crying."

Lois and Tim Crane take a break to have a cup of coffee. The wonderful aroma attracts Jordan Elliot, Lois' husband into the room. Sitting at the table, Crane looks at Elliot and asks whether he minds that his wife is being interviewed about her life with Superman. "Nah, I can live with it," dismissed Elliott. "He weren't nothin' special. Us workin' slobs, we're the real heroes." Turning, he left them to resume to their interview and Lois continued. "We stood on the balcony and watched as he destroyed the golden key. I think that's when we first realized that he was preparing for a siege... Superman's last stand."

Inside, the people were tense. Perry and Alice bickered. Lois and Lana waited. Outside, the villains gathered. Brainiac-Luthor and the Kryptonite Man emerged from Brainiac's rebuilt ship and to their amazement, Saturn Woman, Cosmic King and Lightning Lord, members of the Legion of Super Villains, arrived from the future hoping to share in the victory. "Why should I share," asks Brainiac-Luthor. "Because, in the future, we know things," said Saturn Woman. "According to legend...Superman met his greatest foe in battle and was no more," said Lightning Lord. "It is said that during Superman's last days, all of earth's champions flocked to help him," added Cosmic King. Brainiac-Luthor returned to his ship. "I shall erect an impenetrable force-screen immediately," the voice drones and a huge bubble, two miles across appeared enclosing the fortress.

Around noon, they began firing on the fortress with weapons from Brainiac's ship. Superman was able to destroy most of the weapons with his heat vision, but the force generator was too well protected, and a frontal assault by him and Krypto was turned back by Kryptonite Man. Soon, other heroes arrived. Friends, rivals, lovers; none of them could get through the barrier. And when night finally fell, everyone assumed that they had until morning.

As quiet came, Superman sought out Perry white. The two men spoke of fear, and dying in hushed voices. "I think I'm going to die," said Superman sadly, "and I have so much to get straight, like me and Lois, and me and Lana. They've wasted their love on me while I couldn't love either of them the way they deserved. I wish I had explained. I wish I hadn't been such a coward." His voice tailed off. The noble are always the ones most troubled by conscience.

Suddenly, a flickering flashlight captured a figure moving in the darkness. "Lana, what are you doing here?" asked Jimmy. They looked at each other realizing that each had come to help. Locating the serum that had once transformed him into Elastic Lad, Jimmy lifted the flask with a wry smile then drank. Before them is a pool of water that had once given Lana temporary super-powers. Telling Jimmy to turn his back, Lana immersed herself in the water, and one-by-one her senses expanded: x-ray vision, microscopic vision, and super-hearing... then overhearing a voice... of Superman. "When I was Superboy, Lana was the only girl I loved, but since I've grown to become a man, there's only ever been one woman for me. Lois. I love her Perry, but I can't tell her without hurting Lana. I'd never hurt Lana, so I'll just walk around with this secret, the weight in my heart. I'll carry it in my heart, and neither of them will ever know."

Standing, Lana lifted herself from the pool and dressed in the costume hung in the trophy case behind her. "Are you ready yet," asked Jimmy. "We'll show 'em," Lana says. "Nobody loved him better than us. Nobody!" and they sped from the fortress.

Brainiac had assumed that Kryptonite Man would keep Superman and Krypto at bay, so what happened took them totally by surprise. First Lana pummeled Kryptonite Man while Jimmy ran to disable the force projector. Then Lana turned on Brainiac-Luthor. The Brainiac portion spoke in bravado, but the part that was still Luthor pleaded with Lana. "Kill meee... Lana... Please... Kill me... Do it now," said Luthor, his voice feeble and weak. Lana landed a thundering blow which snapped Luthor's neck, collapsing him into the snow.

But then the Legion of Super Villains took command. Cosmic King used his elemental transmutation powers to turn the radioactive particles of the pool into normal body salts stealing Lana's powers from her. Lightning Lord approached Lana, offering a hand, but electrocuted her. Elastic Lad had watched this, and leapt at the villains from the future. "You murdering scum," he screamed. "The force screens wrecked and you're finished," but no sooner have the words left his lips when a blast from a ray pistol struck a fatal blow, and Jimmy lay dead in the snow.

The Villains wondered where the blast had come from, and then saw Brainiac stand clumsily, stiffly. "I.. am Brainiac...reducer of Kandor...and his greatest foe. My victory...is preordained. Do you think... that I would let... the death of this body... stand in my way?" The villains look at the scene in amazement. Kryptonite Man then noticed that even though Jimmy had destroyed the force generator the screen had not collapsed. "Some other force must be maintaining the screen," wheezed Brainiac who then ordered that they prepare for their final strike and launched a nuclear missile.

The nuclear blast had little effect on the fortress other than to open a gaping hole in one side. Inside, Perry rushed from his room and saw a wall begin to crumble on Alice. Quickly, he knocked her aside, saving her life. Safe for the moment, the two look at each other and realize that, even now, they still had love one another. The thing they did not have was time.

The first villain to approach the fortress was Kryptonite Man. Passing through the hole in the fortress wall, he called out defiantly, "Where are you Kryptonian?" The response came from a different Kryptonian than he expected, when Krypto blasted through the wall. Kryptonite Man radiated the dog, but Krypto kept coming, biting a slashing at the villain. "I'm killing you, you stupid animal. Don't you understand?" Krypto did understand and was unrelenting. In a pool of green blood, Kryptonite Man died, and with his final breaths, Krypto emitted a mournful howl then joined the green man in death.

With Lois in his arms, Superman flew through the fortress witnessing the destruction. Using his x-ray vision he located Perry and Alice, but told Lois that Jimmy and Lana were nowhere to be seen. "Perhaps they're dead," laughed Lightning Lord. "Want to buy yourself some time, Kryptonian? Why not throw me the woman to fry the way I fried your other girlfriend." "You hurt Lana?" Superman screamed. His eyes glow red, with the heat of many suns, and slash out slicing Lightning Lord's shoulder. Saturn Woman is completely taken aback. "He's prepared to kill," she says and the trio, knowing that Superman is to be defeated this day, rushes hurriedly to their Time Bubble and escape to the future.

Together, Superman and Lois fly off to face Brainiac. As they approach, Superman can see that rigor mortis has developed and Brainiac can no longer control muscular function. Luthor's body betrayed Brainiac in death, collapsing in the snow. Disengaging himself from Luthor's skull, Brainiac walks, crablike toward Superman. "I am coming for you Kryptonian. My victory in inevitable.' But Brainiac could only move a few inches, powered only by pure malice. In a blink, it, too, expired.

It's over. But no! There are too many loose ends. The force field is still intact. No one can enter or leave. As they return to the fortress, the truth suddenly dawned on Superman. "Mxyxptlk!" he screamed, and the 5th Dimensional imp appeared, changed somehow, darker. "What do you do when you're immortal," he asks, "other than fill time." Part of the time he was good, part of the time funny now he is evil. "Did you honestly believe that a 5th Dimensional sorcerer would resemble a funny little man in a derby hat? This is how I really look," he screams and again changes into a distorted, grotesque apparition with height, length, breadth and a couple of other things.

Suddenly, Brainiac V's meaning dawned on Superman. The statue he was given... facing his greatest foe... he was holding a Phantom Zone projector. Racing through the fortress, Superman sped to the chamber where the projector was hidden, with Mxyxptlk right behind him. "Time to die!" screamed Mxyxptlk. "That's right, Mxyxptlk," says Superman. "Time to die."

It takes a moment for Mxyxptlk to recognize what Superman had in his hands, and in that moment, he realized that there is no escape for him, save one. As the Phantom Zone projector beam hits Mxyxptlk, he yelled out his name backwards. A numbing scream rends the air. As he attempted to return to the 5th Dimension, he was also sent to the Phantom Zone; torn in half between dimension.

And now it is over. But was it. In the fortress Superman appeared distraught. "I broke my oath," he sighed. "I killed him. Nobody has the right to kill. Not Mxyxptlk... not you... not Superman. Especially not Superman." "Superman turned and walked down a hallway," continues Lois to Tim Crane. "I ran after him, calling his name. He didn't reply. Opening a chamber labeled "Gold Kryptonite" he entered and walked into the gold light. He turned and looked over his shoulder. He smiled at me... I never saw Superman again."

The force field crackled and disappeared and the heroes of earth approached the fortress. "Carnage and destruction was everywhere," adds Lois sadly. "Bodies of his enemies, and his most loyal friends were strewn on the ground. They found me outside of the Gold Kryptonite chamber, but Superman was gone. They found a passageway leading out of the fortress and it is believed that he walked out, powerless. They never found his body. As far as I am concerned, Superman died in the arctic. I was there."

As Tim Crane gathers his notes and prepares to leave, Jordan Elliot walked into the living room with his son, Jonathan. Once alone, the couple settled in for the evening. "I guess the media won't be bothering us for at least another 10 years now," says Lois. "Let's hope so," added Jordan. Sitting Jonathan down beside the fireplace, the couple hugged lovingly. "Work was great," began Jordan. A friend brought in a photo of his grandchildren and they had worked on a '48 Buick. "You really love it, don't you? Going to work everyday, taking out the garbage, changing Jonathan's diapers... all the normal stuff," says Lois knowingly. "Yep. Can't beat it," laughed Jordan who casually glanced at his son, now black from coal soot.

"You were pretty hard on Superman earlier," admonished Lois. "Superman was over-rated," laughed Jordan. "Too wrapped up in himself. 'Thought the world couldn't get along without him." At his feet, young Jonathan playfully squeezed the coal in his hand. Opening it he stared gleefully at a large, glimmering diamond.

"What's for dinner," asked Jordan. "Pizza, then bed, a bottle of wine," winked Lois, "then we can live happily ever after. Sound good to you? Grinning widely, Jordan walked to the door, and stared out at us. He nodded, then winked, then closed the door.

CONTEXT

REVIEW

Yes, the dog dies.

There aren’t many sad Superman stories (at least not that many that do not end with some kind of hope). To me this story gets sadder with the Legion sequence. Everything about those pages is sad, including the last splash page. That is the moment Superman confirms he is about to die.

Some fun facts: Jordan Elliot is a homage to Jor-El. Lois’s son is named Jonathan for the reasons you already know. (Jonathan Kent).

On the cover of Action Comics #583, you can see DC people, Murphy Anderson, Curt Swan, Jenette Khan and and Julius Schwartz.

There are some things I consider “off” in this story that I forgive for the emotional factor. Time travel logic in particular seems fishy. There are a couple of rules mentioned, but the intervention of the Legion of Super-Villains kind of breaks history (unless of course, that they were there all along in some kind of loop). The same way with the golden statue, was that there all along?

It’s unclear to me if the force shield covered everything under earth as well, as Superman could have easily made an underground tunnel and put all his loved ones in another safe place.

Then what about the crazy room full of Golden Kryptonite? Is that safe to have around?

One thing is cool about the “suicide” ending. We saw Bizarro take his life earlier with Blue Kryptonite, and he does the opposite, so I take that as a clue that he is not dying.

I also like the small character moments. Lana and Lois in particular as they weren’t treated with respect all along (one of the reasons Byrne did away with the love triangles). But also Perry and Alice have a beautiful moment.

Lana, Jimmy and Krypto sacrifice themselves. As Jimmy said, “it’s time to pay the price for being Superman’s pal”. Lana died a hero and Lois pretty much helped Superman figured out how to end the menace.

Moore did good use of Superman’s supporting cast, something that most writers usually ignore (as they are usually used to fill pages or help with quick expositions).

I always forget George Perez inked the first chapter. It is clearly Perez without losing Swan’s style (but you can find Perez’s style in the backgrounds).

This is the end of the Bronze Age for Superman. To be honest, I do not know if this is a Bronze Age or a Modern Age story. I think both would be correct, but because it feels more in harmony with Modern Age stories, I decided to put it in that category.

I give this story a score of 10.

7 notes · View notes

writeyouin · 7 years ago

Note

Hello I was wondering if you could do a tadashi (bh6) x nurse reader fic (or oneshot) and/or a V (V for vendetta) x nurse reader. Merci :)

Tadashi X Reader – Medical Student

A/N – Originally, I had a plot as to why the other students disliked the reader, but I decided not to put it in because this is like… 6 pages long.

Warnings – Minor Swearing.

Rating – T

Tadashi glanced at the first schematics for Baymax. He now had the designs for the skeleton and the data chip that would contain the medical protocols and procedures. Excited to start changing the world, Tadashi begun work on the database that would go on the chip. The work carried on into the night, but he was finally ready to upload it onto the drive.

An error message appeared on the holographic computer screen only six percent into the data transfer. Tadashi frowned tiredly, he’d been ready to finish for the night, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop until he found the source of the problem.

After numerous diagnostics and scans ran on the computer that consumed further hours, Tadashi still hadn’t found a solution.

“Burning the midnight oil, Mr Hamada?” Professor Callaghan entered the lab.

“As always,” Tadashi answered amiably.

Callaghan glanced at the computer screen where the error message stubbornly remained. “It seems that you’ve ran into some programming trouble. May I?”

“Sure,” Tadashi moves aside, letting Callaghan sit at the desk.

Callaghan examined the extensive database, tapping idly at some keys to highlight the problem on screen. “Well Mr Hamada, it’s apparent that the base program on the chip can’t contain the database you’re trying to download because of conflicting information. Take a look at this for example, one treatment for infections is antibacterial spray, another older method suggests leeches. The program doesn’t know which to prioritise. My suggestion is to come back tomorrow and visit the medical students after classes. Try to get their professor’s permission to work with one of the students; maybe they can organise your database.”

“Thanks professor.”

Callaghan nodded and the two walked out together.

Tadashi roamed the halls of the medical building. Although it was much smaller than the tech building he worked in, he’d still managed to get lost.

“Young man!” A squat Korean lady said sternly with her hands on her hips. “As head of the medical department I make it my business to know all the medical students, you are not one of them and have no business being here.”

Professor Callaghan had forewarned Tadashi of Doctor Kirkbride for she was apparently a tough lady to impress.

“Excuse me Doctor Kirkbride, I’m Tadashi Hamada, a technology student and-”

“And you’re making me late for class. Walk and talk, hurry now.”

Tadashi kept up with the brisk pace set by Doctor Kirkbride, explaining his plight all the while. By the time they reached the auditorium Kirkbride stopped Tadashi, “You want one of my students, fine, but if you get in the way of their education, we’ll be using you in class instead of Mr Cadaver. Got it?”

Tadashi nodded nervously.

“Good. You’ll have to find a volunteer yourself. Good luck getting a partner with exams coming up.”

She opened the door, exuding power and silencing the congregation of students talking outside of their designated work areas.

“Class,” she boomed, “This is Tadashi Hamada, one of the technology students. He needs help compiling a medical database for his project. Is anyone willing to volunteer?”

Everyone avoided his gaze.

“No? Then get to your work stations and follow the instructions there. Mr Hamada, you’ll have to present your case yourself.”

Doctor Kirkbride left him alone. He looked around the room uncertainly. Everyone was in a group of three at a work station that had an outdated whiteboard with instructions and dummy patients which seemed to have seen better days; evidently the medical building didn’t get as much funding as the rest of the university.

With his friendliest smile, Tadashi approached the first group with the identical twins Iroh and Kyo as well as a girl named Ivy.

“Hey,” he started confidently, “would you-”

“Busy,” the twins pushed past him, inserting a catheter and IV into the dummy.

He looked to Ivy, “Exams,” she deadpanned, ignoring him.

Tadashi refused to be disappointed, moving onto the next group, then the one after that and the one after that; nobody gave him the time of day. Finally, he got to the last table which had the only person not working in a group; you.

With low expectations he spoke, “Hi, I’m-”

You held up a hand, “Tadashi, yeah. You’re awfully persistent for somebody rejected by twenty-four people. Don’t you get it? Nobody wants to work with you.”

Tadashi slumped slightly, “Yeah, I know, exams.”

“Seriously? You believe that crap? That’s not why they won’t work with you.”

“Then why?”

“‘Cos, you tech types are all the same. You waltz in here, take a procedure that was perfectly fine in the first place and make a make a machine that does it. We’re all afraid that whatever you’re building will make us obsolete before we’ve even finished training.”

Tadashi frowned, his mouth slightly agape, “I never really thought of it that way… I don’t want to make anyone obsolete, I’m just trying to help people.”

You leaned against the operating table, interested in the flurry of emotions showing in Tadashi’s eyes. Before, he had the same hope you had every day on your way to becoming a doctor, now he was displaying a complex mix of sadness, confusion, and guilt.

“Your project,” you said, “how many will it help?”

“When it’s done? Millions.”

You rolled your eyes to the ceiling, muttering, “This better not affect my grades.” Then to Tadashi, “Fine, I’m (Y/N) and I guess I can sort your database.”

Tadashi shook with excitement, making you giggle with his impromptu dance. “Thank you, I promise you won’t regret this.”

“OY!” A red-haired student in the group next to yours called. “You workin’ with ‘im?”

“Yeah,” you answered nonchalantly.

“Fuckin’ sell-out.”

Tadashi deflated, watching you apologetically, “I-”

You shook your head at him, “If you dare apologise I’ll quit.”

“But if this makes you unpopular-”

“Ha! I’m working on my own in a group assignment, you don’t get more unpopular than that. See, you’re already taking credit for what I did all on my own. Give it a week and see if you still want to work with me. Now get out, I finish in an hour, meet me outside then and I’ll see what I’m working with.”

You threw your arms up angrily, reading over the database, “What the hell is this? The sources are totally uncredible, it’s disorganised, it’s… is that a Wikipedia page? Good lord, it is. And on top of all this you want me to write up treatments for everything? EVERYTHING? You’re insane, this is impossible.”

Tadashi got down on his knees, holding his hands together and begging you with huge puppy eyes, “Not even for me?”

You grabbed his cap from the desk, shoving it in his face and pushing him over with the force.

“Huh, a wild (Y/N) attacks when angered,” Tadashi reported, leaning up from the floor.

You struggled to suppress a smile, “Like a viper.”

“Pray tell crazy viper person, how can I get you to do this?”

“Inject caffeine into my blood stream until this is all over.”

“I think I can make that work.”

“Then we better get started, come on puppy dog, coffee, chop chop.”

Tadashi got up and saluted, “Yes Captain.”

You grinned as he left; perhaps working with him wouldn’t be as much of an irritant as you supposed.

Writing treatments to every ailment you could think of was excruciatingly slow work. Two months in and you’d barely made a dent. Yet the work wasn’t as unpleasant as you’d initially thought; your grades had improved considerably and working with Tadashi proved to be fun. He’d told you many of the misadventures of his little brother Hiro, and of his Aunt Cass who owned a café uptown somewhere.

While you enjoyed Tadashi’s company, he felt a lot more strongly towards you. He adored your grumpy humour and the way you were willing to work with him in the face of adversity from your classmates who had since ignored you completely. More than that, he loved that you genuinely wanted to help people even though you didn’t know what he was building. He’d told his family a little of you but kept details light and fleeting, unable to trust himself to speak without revealing too many of his own confused thoughts.

One night, after he’d stayed alone at the university to draw-up further plans for Baymax, he arrived back home to a surprise. You were sat in the café with a notepad and a medical journal. He’d never told you which café he lived at, but coincidence had brought you there. Never before had he cared about looking cool in front of you but before he knew when and where you were going to meet. Suddenly something was different, it may have been the concentrated frown you wore or that you practically glowed under the café’s dim lighting, but he definitely felt something towards you.

Ignoring the onslaught of nerves, he entered, dropping casually into the seat opposite yours in the cosy booth, “You know, café’s are supposed to be for relaxing.”

“’Dashi!” You dropped the book with a surprise then smiled. “What’re you doing here?”

“Oh, I know the owner.”

As if on cue, Cass dropped by to see her nephew, “Tadashi, you’re home,” she said warmly.

“Hi Aunt Cass,” he got up to hug her.

Cass spotted you, “And you have a friend.”

“I’m (Y/N),” You got up to shake her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Tadashi has told me so much about you.”

Tadashi blushed behind you, smiling affectionately at the friendly manner in which you regarded Cass.

Cass hummed knowingly, “Really? He has? Well that’s great. (Y/N), how about you join us for dinner?”

Tadashi swallowed apprehensively, he desperately wanted you to say yes and meet his family officially.

“Are you sure I wouldn’t be intruding?”

“Intruding? Of course not. Tadashi, take (Y/N) upstairs while I close up, oh I am so excited.”

She bounced on the spot and you realised exactly where Tadashi got his own little happy dance from; it had a heart-warming effect, comforting you in an unexpected way.

Over dinner, Cass learnt everything she could about you, leaving no question unasked. Hiro meanwhile, took an interest in you when you asked about the bot he was holding; he used the opportunity to show off until Tadashi started making fun of him for it. Although the family was a small one, the love was overwhelming. Cass clearly adored her two nephews; they were like three pieces of a jigsaw, different shapes but they fit together well. Alas, time flew, and it was time for you to head home yourself.

“It’s been wonderful meeting you,” You beamed at Aunt Cass, sticking your hand out.

Cass ignored the hand, hugging you tightly, “Come back soon.” When she let you go she asked, “How far is the walk home?”

“About forty minutes from here.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?”

“It’s alright, Tadashi already volunteered for that, he’s taking me back on his moped.”

“Right, drive safe Tadashi, and call me when you get there.”

Tadashi wrapped his arm around you, forgetting himself for a moment but staying when you didn’t protest, “Don’t worry Aunt Cass, we’ll be fine.”

With Cass calling goodbyes, Tadashi led you to the garage and his moped. He threw you a helmet which you caught with ease.

“And with a catch like that, (L/N)’s ready for the rugby team, (s)he could go all the way,” Tadashi cheered.

“And with a throw like that, Tadashi is ready to go back to summer camp, so he can learn from people with actual talent.”

He held his heart, mimicking pain, “It’s a low blow that brings pain with it, and after I was being nice to you.”

“Well yeah but you have to be nice to me because I’m doing your work for you, lazy boy.”

“A second low blow with a staggering effect. I can’t simply like you?”

You grinned, dancing towards him with a singsong voice, “You like me, you love me, you want to hug me.”

Tadashi tried to laugh but with each line you came a little bit closer, mocking him further, “You want to kiss me, you want to marry me…”

You trailed off, suddenly aware of the lack of laughter. At some point, the atmosphere had become heavy with unspoken thoughts on Tadashi’s behalf.

You frowned uncertainly, “Tadashi? What’s wrong?”

“I uh… You’re really great with my family,” he murmured. “Actually, you’re really great altogether.”

“I don’t… I don’t understand.”

Tadashi leaned forward, brushing his lips lightly against your cheek. Your heart raced; everything had been so normal only minutes ago but now things were different, evolved somehow.

He pulled away, not daring to ask if you felt the same way about him, “That’s enough for tonight, come on, I’ll take you home.”

He got on the moped. Although you had a million questions for him, time seemed to stop when you sat behind him and held onto him tightly. He was right, for now it was enough.

#tadashi #tadashi hamada #tadashi x reader #tadashi hamada x reader #big hero 6 #big hero six #bh6 #disney #fanfiction #fanfic #reader #reader insert

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sugar-petals · 8 years ago

Text

Cuddling With BTS

How would Bangtan snuggle with you? For male and female readers alike. ♥

warnings ⚠️ none!

Jimin ➳ Think Serendipity. It’ll be soft like that. Just with more ambition, you know how it goes. He can’t help it. Like who cuddles the other more, and better, and longer. Jimin is all about self-improvement and you know it. He aims to win “Best and Most Pleasing Lover who Looks Flawless By The Way”. But then again, he doesn’t want to see you lose, you deserve this title equally. Thus, it goes back and forth endlessly between sheets and blankets until you lose yourself to the movements. Jimin will hold your face kissing your forehead, nestle up to your chest, brush his messy hair against your nostrils cutely so you’ll sneeze. You playfight and mess around most of the time already so the transition to cuddling is seamless. And anyway, you are so, so lucky. Your sweet mochi will be very straightforward like Taehyung. These two guys along with Hoseok won’t withhold anything. Jimin’s special forte: His body has so many inviting curves, he can fit the two of you together like it’s nothing.

Taehyung ➳ Oh I see, you like fluffy koalas? Okay, so does your sunshine Taehyung. But he prefers to be one instead. And you will become his beloved eucalyptus tree that he just can’t get enough of. He’ll delight in wrapping his arms and legs around you, and don’t you worry. Tae can stay like that for a long time. If you don’t like being compared to a plant fair enough, consider the thought of being the pillow he always needs to hug when fast asleep (this... is the cutest habit humankind has ever brought forth). Still a bit weird, I guess. But you have to accept your fate. Taehyung won the gold medal at the international Olympics of clingy embraces and booping. He loves nothing more than close contact. You’ll always feel warm and can take care of the delicate little cub in your arms. Tae is so adorable, it’d be a surprise if your heart wouldn’t melt like butter every time. Never, never, never will you be affection-deprived again if you love physical touch.

Jin ➳ Hey hey, we have a cutie on duty here. And an actual cuddle connoisseur, too. Two in one, so to say. Our handsome Jin doesn’t bother being all dead serious about it like Yoongi, or won’t turn it into a heated contest as Jimin does. It’s only plain, authentic Seokjin who can be smooth, embarrassing, comical, tender, indignant, cute, dramatic, merry, untiring, caring - and so much more. He’s just an all-rounder full of personal quirks to enjoy. You will find yourself frolicking and making yourself comfortable when you cuddle, you can relax fully with Jin, always. The two of you can bring your pets to caress. You’ll fool around somewhere on a carpet and build a legitimate pillow fort to hide in next to each other. Yeah, Seokjin is a kid like that. So you can believe that he will make some funny traffic dance moves as the cherry on top before getting all kissy with you, holding you tight with those pretty hands of his.

Yoongi ➳ You think what I’m thinking, right. This is going to be a scarce activity. Not quite! Yoongi limits instances of touch as much as he can like a sulky grandpa, verbally at least. Yet: Physically, he speaks a different language. In fact, he craves the contact. Suga feels so lonely and remote from the world sometimes, he can only be reassured by a hearty embrace. He likes to experience with his whole body that it’s real, that you are completely present. As you put your arms around him you whisper, “Yoongi, I love you... Keep workin’ hard” and he already feels better. During the day, he reaches out with small gestures like caressing your neck or tickling the spot under your chin, telling you how good-looking you are. He’ll show his love indirectly as he seeks to stand close to you when out and about. Or he does his infamous ‘okay now we hold hands just because’ thing. Most of it will be unexpected. Look forward to it. [Writing an expansion for this. Stay tuned, Yoongi enthusiasts]

Hoseok ➳ Heavens, what can’t he do! Sir Jung Hoseok’s snuggle talent effortlessly exceeds your imagination, just you wait. Cuddling is definitely among the many activities he simply cannot be reserved about. He embraces it entirely. I mean, he embraces you, and nudges your sides, tickles your feet, pinches you everywhere. The whole package. And knowing him, this won’t stop all too soon. Like Taehyung, J-Hope will be practically glued to you. He is the type of person suited for true body talk lovers. No qualms about getting close to you on every level, he really has some nerve I swear. He’ll scream, sing, and dance, too, commenting everything with funny noises. That’s a given, so prepare your ears and eyes for entertainer Hobi giving his best as usual. You even get some hilarious trot music on demand, can you fathom that? If you like Korean dramas, I am sure he will go as far as reenacting something with you. Cuddling time with fancy Jay means: The curtain rises.

Namjoon ➳ Maybe... Our Joonie’s a tad awkward with cuddles sometimes. Hugs might need a little adjusting, cuz damn his arms are long as hell. At least not the vertical hugs need helping, heh. But beware for the vertical ones. He’d end up stepping on your toes? Not if you jump hug him, glomping works. Nobody knows how this God of Destruction survives on a daily basis except maybe Jin. But. He can gently fondle your back while he sits next to you. Like when you watch a movie. He’ll also act overly cute like he did once on Weekly Idol. “Y/N”, he’ll say in a shamelessly honeyed voice batting his lashes, and even tries to sit on your lap. Again, watch the hell out that he won’t crash into you or any furniture as he fools around. In fact, make him wear protective gear! All klutz jokes aside: Our eloquent RM really does much better giving and receiving verbal affection. It’s not a secret. Imagine the miracles of sitting down with him for a long, deep conversation. That’s where the magic is truly at.

Jungkook ➳ “Which scene are we?” - “Back hug scene”. Bangtan’s maknae is a tremendously rude yet wonderful cuddler. You two will regularly chase each other around laughing in a hallway somewhere. And, of course, the muscle pig catches up with you (unless you are Usain Bolt), just to collapse somewhere comfy. Jungkook is often sleepy and treasures his rest but his arms are always wide open for you. He should be called Mister Spreading Arms instead, how about that. So, okay, you will lay down intertwined, you bury your face in his hoodie, or vice versa. And then you just enjoy listening to the other’s heartbeat that is still going fast after running around. Since your bunny has the strength of a berserk, you can also look forward to being picked up by him 24/7. He does that with everybody, but you... you get extra kisses and eye smiles while he carries you around whistling and swaying.

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frederator-studios · 8 years ago

Video

vimeo

Austen Payne - The Frederator Interview

Austen Payne is a budding dungeon master, a storyboard artist at Smiley Guy Studios in Toronto, and a bonafide Cool Kid™. “One Hell of a Party,” the short she created with a team of fellow Seneca Animation 3rd years, is enjoying a glitter-glue coated festival run: it nabbed the Golden Reel Award at Nevada International Film Fest and Best Canadian Short at Toronto After Dark. “I didn’t know that was a category!” - Austen.

The positive response is no surprise to us - “One Hell of a Party” is one hell of a student film. Check it out above - then give a looksie to our convo with Austen, where we discuss the artistic merits of “Baman Piderman,” D&D as a crash course in storytelling, and the underrated genius of never giving up.

So what drew you (heh) to animation?

In high school, I was really into art and comics - and then I took a class on filmmaking, and I really loved it. Once I realized that animation was like the marriage of drawing and filmmaking, I was hooked. I went to Sheridan for fine arts for 2 years, then to Seneca for their 2D animation program.

What inspired “One Hell of a Party”?

In 1st year, I got sick with the flu, and one night really couldn’t sleep with a fever. So I was just laying awake, being really nice to myself and thinking about how I would never manage to come up with a whole story - I always think in shots, or scenes, but hadn’t ever thought of a real narrative. And then I just decided to do it, right then, fever brain and all. I thought about what I like, and I like demons. I thought about what you do with demons: you summon them. And I just kept like that, and by the end of the night, I had all of the story beats figured out. Then I held onto the idea super tight for 2 years, until 3rd year came around, when I pitched it to my class. And it was one of the ones we decided to make!

How did you decide you wanted to be a board artist?

I knew I wanted to board really early on. I mean, comics and films are my two favorite things! So I focused on it as much as I could in school, and there was some compromise involved. At one point, I just straight up didn’t do my assignment for board class, and brought my professor the boards that I was doing for an internship application. I was like “Well, I have this!” and he was just like, “Ah! This is great”. I got lucky.

That’s badass! Sounds like you had cool teachers?

Oh yeah - my boarding professors played a really important role. One of my most memorable moments was at the end of 1st year, actually. I had the BEST storyboard professor - super passionate about boarding, really cool, and loves teaching. I brought some stuff to him that I was working on, and was talking about how I knew that I wasn’t ready to apply to some position yet - and he just goes, “Oh I don’t think that’s true”. I was just like, “Whhaaa?”. He said that in a couple years, he thought I could be boarding professionally. It was the first time that anyone had said, “You can do this” to me - it was a moment that kept me going through school, and that I still carry with me. Oddly, it was my boarding professors who encouraged me to go for it - my teachers in other subjects said it was too hard.

Oof! Speaks to the power of discouragement… what else can you recommend to budding boarders?

Definitely keeping up with the best people who are working professionally, because it gives you a sense of the caliber of work that’s required.. Know what a professional board looks like (and they can look really diverse!) and research how board artists got where they are. Also, asking a lot of questions - your professors want to help you, and mentors are really important! And lastly: don’t give up! It is really hard, really time consuming, and really competitive - but you know that going in. The fact is, it’ll never happen for you if you quit - and if you don’t quit, others will, while you keep improving - and then there will be better odds that it does happen for you then that it doesn’t!

Tactical! Enough work stuff, let’s talk parties. Does the short accurately depict Seneca’s scene?

Ha, I wouldn’t really know! I didn’t go to a single party the entire time we were working on “One Hell of a Party”! Sweet irony. The film definitely represents parties I’ve gone to - when I’ve done that sorta thing. Drinking just kinda makes me sleepy.

Saw you’re a D&D fan though! Any go-to character you play?

I’m usually a ranger, but lately I’ve been a DM, so I’m making up characters! I just created this awakened undead skeleton named Rook, who’s a very cheerful, pretty innocent sweetheart, for a skeleton. He gained sentience and came to hate the necromancer who brought him back to life to be a slave, so he ran away, learned magic, and then got revenge on his old master. Now he’s joining the story - my players just met him - but I can’t wait to play as him in another game!

Has DMing helped you with your storytelling skills?

Oh yeah - it’s helped me take a step back and approach humor in a new way, too! Like I listen to Critical Role and Adventure Zone, these D&D podcasts, and they’ve really influenced my comedy sense. Like laughing along with these guys, I wound up asking myself ‘Why do I find this stuff funny, and other stuff not?’. I’d never thought of comedy as something that you learn, but it really is! I’m honing my own sense of humor, getting a handle on it.

What are some elements, comedic or other, that you would bring to your own cartoon series?

I’m really interested in character acting - I love when characters have distinct ways of moving. I think there’s so much you can tell about a character through how they move. One of my favorite shows that does it so well is actually “Baman Piderman” - their characters feel more alive because of the attention put into their mannerisms.

“Baman Piderman” is a modern masterpiece. Any other favorite shows?

Oh geez, that’s a tough one. There are a lot. “Gravity Falls” - Alex Hirsch is a huge inspiration for me. “Fullmetal Alchemist” - both, though I like “Brotherhood” just a bit more. “The Misadventures of Flapjack”, “Rick and Morty”, “Steven Universe”, “Mob Psycho 100”, “Transformers Prime” - the 3d TV series - I like the “Transformers” franchise except for the movies.

What about favorite artists or writers or sundry creative humans?

Ahh! Okay, there’s so many. Ok: so Alex Hirsch for sure. James Roberts, a writer for IDW Transformers comics. Matthew Mercer inspired me to start DMing, and I’ve learned a ton about story from him. Dana Terrace, an incredible board artist / is amazing at everything. And Jenn Strickland, another awesome board artist and animator! Christine Liu and Lauren Sassen are two more amazing board artists. There’s Alan Ituriel (created “Villainous”) and Jhonen Vasquez who created “Invader Zim,” the first cartoon I was ever obsessed with. JN Wiedle is an awesome cartoonist and comics artist, and Bahi JD and Yutaka Nakamura are some of my favorite animators. I’m also super influenced by “Akira” and Studio Ghibli’s films!

Last query! Whatcha workin’ on?

Well aside from my work-work, I’ve got quite a bit going on! I’m developing two web comic ideas, and I’m doing the art for a comic called “The Goosefighter,” written by Marilyn-Ann Campbell, for Toronto Comics Anthology Vol. 5. It’s about a student who has a stand-off with a goose - so it’s about looking evil right in the face. Up my alley!

Thanks for chatting with us Austen, you rock! Looking forward to all of your upcoming projects!

- Cooper

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flightofaqrow · 5 years ago

Text

no more bottles

qrow + Ruby ( @silveredruby )

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“Ruby, this isn’t…”

“I know what it isn’t. However I’m not gonna sit here and let you talk like that. It’s not healthy for you and no, that doesn’t mean bottle up all your feelings and don’t talk to anyone either. You can talk to us about how you feel, okay? The second you start making bold statements about how you’re the worst, everything is your fault, so on and so forth? You’re getting a metaphorical spritz bottle in the face. Biting that kind of thinking in the butt right away. Yang and I are here for you.”

“wow, Pipsqueak. all i said was bad influence. what’s all this about being the worst and everything being my fault? maybe you should be tellin’ me how you feel?”

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“Hmmph. If someone was a terrible influence, then I guess I’m a terrible person.”

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“Ruby, this isn’t…”

he lets out the absolute deepest of sighs.

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“…”

qrow is frozen. paralyzed. smushed between so many threats from so many angles he cannot even move.

what can he even say to that?

this is, however, effectively just bottling it up anyway. perhaps, even, repressing it beneath the sudden flood of affection in his chest. (and a little bit of fear. there is always a little bit when Ruby gets her serious face on. he can never tell what’s coming next at that point.)

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It seemed Qrow was either trapped in his own thoughts about his next strategy, or may have been intimidated by his niece’s game face. Regardless, said young Huntress wasn’t here for that. Nothing would bring a Grimm quicker than self grown negativity.

Ruby continued while looking a bit less threatening. “You can talk to us about how you feel, okay? The second you start making bold statements about how you’re the worst, everything is your fault, so on and so forth? You’re getting a metaphorical spritz bottle in the face. Biting that kind of thinking in the butt right away. Yang and I are here for you.”

A smile came across her face. “Besides, you’re stuck with us for life.”

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“wow, Pipsqueak. all i said was bad influence. what’s all this about being the worst and everything being my fault? maybe you should be tellin’ me how you feel?”

is he being dismissive? absolutely. does it still feel kinda good to laugh at his own insecurities when presented so hyperbolic by his adorable niece instead of sounding too true from his own brain? also absolutely.

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“Uh huh, and I know where that goes! I hear way more than you think I do, Mr. Bad Influence and My Semblance is Bad for Everyone.”

She also knew he was deflecting, but at least his mood improved a little. That in itself was progress. “If we wanna talk about how I feel, I feel you’re way too hard on yourself and need to give yourself a bit more positive credit. It makes me sad when I hear you’re beating yourself up so much and I know I’m not the only one.”

“Now, again this isn’t about me, this is about you.” Ruby continued while pointedly poking him in the chest. Your family loves you, and we’re going to help you get through all this, but no more bottling things up and making yourself out to be the bad guy. There are actual bad guys out there, and you aren’t one of them, okay?”

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“Geez, okay, okay. slow it down, kiddo.” seriously, it’s overwhelming. Ruby always did want to tackle every problem head on and save the world in one fell swoop.

hands raise, defensive, not stopping her, but asking for space. trying not to bottle things up doesn’t mean he can suddenly pour his entire soul out. “I hear what you’re sayin’. …but one thing at a time, alright? this… this isn’t easy.”

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She was about to go through another round of lecturing, but the surrendering body language of her uncle got her to take pause. Ruby briefly looked away for a moment, letting the momentum stop. Perhaps she had been a bit too much.

“Yeah, I know… it’s just…” Her gaze returned back to Qrow. “I don’t want to lose anyone else, or have you just up and disappear. I’m always worried about that.”

Ruby had always been worried about that. Ever since she really understood how dangerous his work was.

“Can you promise me you’ll work on it though? And I won’t be so aggressively on your case? Well I’ll work on that, it’s kind of a force of habit…”

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qrow can breathe again, but at the cost of Ruby looking so very sad. her eyes were always meant to shine, but not like that. not from the shimmering of tears. he wishes he could say he’s never just disappeared, not without telling her and not without coming back, but there’s a time or few he got too caught up in himself or his work. it would be a lie.

one of those many things he’s trying to be better about. but he also knows that kind of loaded statement isn’t just about him.

“Ruby…” hands pull from being out at his sides to hold onto her shoulders, “i’m right here, huh? i’m not gonna disappear that easy, come on now.”

one touch leaves her to run through his hair and scratch at the back of his neck, “i promise. i’ll work on it. i am workin’ on it. talkin’ about not feeling right is the first step, right? lemme,” he sighs, trying to let his chest release all the demons which dwelled there, little by little, “lemme get used to that much to start. then we can worry about …how to change it.”

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Ruby didn’t realize her expression had taken on such a sombre tone. Shifting to a smile, she looked back at Qrow as he spoke. There was an effort being made and she could be happy with that.

“Right… well we won’t let you disappear either.” She reassured. “I’ll hold you to that promise. Talking is good… I get sarcastic deflection every now and then but there’s a time for talking. I’ll work on not jumping on you. I’ll try really hard.”

There had been many vacancies made in her life, and Ruby felt like there wasn’t much of anything she could do, despite some of her best efforts. Her first ones were far out of her hands, but recently they were. They slipped through her fingers, she never felt she was good enough. At least, not yet.

Her eyes began to betray her smile as a single tear fell. Ruby was quick to react, grabbing a corner of her cloak and bringing it to her face.

“Geez, talk about getting stuff in your eye huh?”

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“yeah, yeah. i already promised.” this is about all the calling out he can handle for one night, even if it is from Ruby, and he trusts her best of intentions.

it really is incredible how she can look like the wisest soul in one instant, and then go right back to being in the single digit years and ready to bust out in the waterworks. not that those had been her happiest years…

both qrow’s brow and the corner of his mouth pop up in a smirk, “somethin’ in your eye, huh? here lemme help with that.”

he grabbed the unclaimed parts of her cape’s hem and pulled it around, burying her whole face in it and fluffing-fabric covered hands around her cheeks, eyes, and hair.

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Moods were beginning to settle and the tension was starting to give way. There wasn’t more to say on the subject, they were both going to try and that was that. Ruby had looked away for one second, confused by what Qrow meant by ‘helping’. Unfortunately this was one time where her ability to react quickly was not at the forefront of her mind.

All Ruby saw was darkened red, and felt the onslaught of her uncle messing with her hair in a firm but gentle grip. Everything was muffled chaos as her arms tried to find a weakness in the fabric barriers around her face. Qrow was met with tugging, flailing hands and muffled cries and giggles.

After a minute or so of the playful pranking, Ruby wrestled part of her face free. “Qrow! That’s cheating! Against cloak code rules!”

Her lack of long arms and Qrow’s cloak being tattered and short did not make this an even playing field.

“Well I see someone is feeling a bit better.”

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“hey, i invented the cloak code! i can bend the rules if i want to.”

it dawns on him that he’d gone from incomprehensible sulking to laughing at his niece in less than an hour. Ruby did tend to have that effect on him. Yet she had gone from a burst of sunshine to wiping away tears. he eases up on his ruffling, but leaves his hands on the sides of her sweet face, “i am. thanks, Kiddo. but what about you, huh? sounded like you maybe had more on your mind.”

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“And you keep saying you aren’t that old.” She sassed, sticking out her tongue at him followed with a smile. Ruby was now free from her fabric prison, but Qrow still had a gentle hold of her.

“I mean… when don’t I have something on my mind? Honestly I’ve kind of forgotten the initial thought. Just… too much in a short time. I almost miss worrying about the stupid cliche stuff. You know the ones movies tend to exaggerate in all those high school drama’s and terribly written romance movies? Never thought I’d say that.”

Those movies were never watched because they were good. Ruby and Yang dared each other to watch those awful pieces of film and see how long the other could last. Truly she missed those days.

“I’m getting by as much as a teenager can.” Concluded the girl with a stiffened nod, realizing she couldn’t do that too well. “… are you gonna give me my face back?”

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playful glee pinches red eyes into a daring glint in return taunt to Ruby’s tongue, “don’t have to be old to be an authority.”

his niece looks almost like a little chipmunk, spilling thoughts she’d been holding in under puffed up, scrunched up cheeks, releasing as he squeezes. he remembers having that exact conversation with one of his own mentors once upon a time. ‘it’s all one big mess, ain’t it? …things used t’be so much simpler.’

“yeah, kiddo. i do know,” a scratched mumble of understanding tumbles from tight lips as he releases her upon request. he wishes he could give more than just her face back. he wishes he could have bought her more time before her whole life became not only more complex, but immediately came crashing down around them. literally, in the case of beacon.

he can feel his frown, his eyes, his mouth, his mind sinking, down, down, down into and past the floor, right back into familiar spirals. he can’t allow it, he won’t, not after Ruby worked so hard to uplift him. the best he knows to wrestle something he can’t drown with a bottle is to throw it into a task, “…anythin’ i can do to buy ya some good ol’ quiet comic time?”

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“Buy an eighth day of the week? Don’t tell anyone about it?”

A wistful need veiled in a joke. If this ever ended, Ruby was going to do her best to not complain about anything ever again. Perhaps yelling at appliances that didn’t want to would would be an exception.

“Really though…” She pondered a moment, deciding on something simple. “I can’t remember the last time we had a sit down with burgers and fries. No idea where to get that in Mistral though.”

It was time to enjoy those simple things while they all could. The small breaks in trying to save the world. No one knew what they were doing either. It was a secret to be kept, and only to be given to the most trusted. Figuring out who to trust was dangerous.

Not something fit to be in the hands of someone so young.

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qrow chuckles light once more, “can’t say oz gave me any time magic t’promise somethin’ like that.” hands tuck into pockets, willing to dig up whatever he could to try. though, checking that his wallet still sat in place there and ruffling fingers discreetly through to make sure he had some cash on hand made for the extent of the list.

“now burgers, i can handle.” maybe. to Ruby’s standards, anyway. sometimes the simplest things became easier for bad luck to screw up. let his be the burnt patty or soggy fries, if it must. let her have this.

he’ll try. he’ll keep trying. if only to see her smile through all the responsibility he never could save her from.

“and i know a place we can sneak out to. just you and me. if we’re quick about it…”

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(part 2, basically)

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Is she judging the thighs? The self deprecation? Potential skirt wearing? Who knows? Only she does. One thing for sure though, she did in fact forget breakfast this morning.

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“don’t give me that face. it’s called learnin’ to laugh at my insecurities!”

he’s still trying. unlearning a lifetime of self-talk is hard, Ruby.

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Ruby gave him a stern look, complete with a long ‘hmm’ before relaxing her expression. Qrow was trying, and she couldn’t invalidate the effort. After all she did promise to not be so… aggressive.

“Alright, you get a pass this time. If you haven’t denounced any compliments today.”

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if Ruby weren’t a huntress, qrow wonders if she could be a therapist. she’s sure got some behavioral conditioning down pat. he hasn’t been this wrapped around her finger since she was four and learned what the word scythe meant.

“haven’t gotten any. tell you what, kiddo. why don’t you toss one my way? for practice.”

go easy on him, fam. or he might just fall apart instead of shoot it down.

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For practice huh? Ruby could do that. Granted she couldn’t be sure if Qrow was being entirely truthful, but her uncle was also never in a position of lying to her either. If he did it was always some alternative truth. Regardless, she was given an excuse to make her uncle happy.

Not overdoing it was the difficult part. Ruby could go on hour long tangents if people let her. “Well, you’re looking brighter than normal. A bit better rested and some of the gloom has gone away a bit. Maybe it’s the new vest, mister-fancy-filigree-pattern.”

A bit of cheeky humor always made things easier to digest.

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ugh. she hardly even has to say anything when she looks at him with the eyes. the adoring eyes. maintaining eye contact becomes test one already. why does this feel like he’s been transported to finals week at beacon?

he preens somewhat, smoothing down the sleeves she comments on, “yeah, well, it’s atlas. the stylists insisted on a little bit ‘a fancy. helps the image, i guess.”

oh no, that was deflection, wasn’t it? the truth, but still the wrong answer. he can see it already in the threatening scrunch of Ruby’s nose. get up, dust off, try again. it’s what being a joke has taught him in life.

“but, uh. thanks. i think i pull it off pretty alright. an’ i have been sleepin’ better. it helps.”

#* she always did want to save the world in one fell swoop = silveredruby *#* how do you think legends and fairy tales get started? = thread archive *#* still got a long way to go = future volumes *#;w; <3

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randoreviews · 5 years ago

Text

LEE INTERVIEW 2

Ben: So yeah, again, these are like really simple questions. No real brain busters. Should I just start? Lee: Yeah, just dive right in, man. Ben: Okay, cool. So what was the last thing you had to eat? Lee: Ahh, this morning I had some breakfast, I made some... potatoes, some scrambled eggs, with a little bit of creme fraiche in em and some cilantro and some sausage. Ben: Oooo! Lee: And then I hit it with a little green Tabasco. Ben: I was gonna ask you any ketchup but green Tabasco, okay. Lee: Yeah, green Tabasco. It's the only way to fly. Ben: Nice. And I was gonna ask you what was the last thing you had to drink, but I can join it up with this question: did you have coffee this morning and how was that? Lee: Yeah, I have coffee every morning. Ben: Does it make you, like, wanna listen to heavy metal or? Lee: No, just a pleasant way to ease into the day, I find. Come down and throw on a pot. Feed the dog. Let the dog out. By the time all that's done there's a fresh hot pot a coffee waiting for me. And just sip on that for a while. Ben: Nice. So in general it usually relaxes you? Cuz I know sometimes for me it can give you that gentle boost you need or like for me it'll make me wanna do like twenty different things at once and plan a trip around the world. Lee: Yeah, I think the jitters is what they call that. But ah, I'll just avoid drinking it late at night, other than that it keeps me rollin through the day. Ben: Yessir. Cool. So when was the last time you had a Pop-Tart? Really random question. Lee: Pop-Tart? God I feel like it was actually more recent than you would think, but I can't put my finger on when it woulda been. I feel like Pop-Tarts were in my life fairly recent... Oh yeah, cuz my fiance's brother is big into Pop-Tarts, so I think when he was out here earlier this fall he had a little stash and then when he left I think there were a Pop-Tart or two leftover. So I'm gonna say it was probly sometime possibly after Thanksgiving but before Christmas. If you can believe that. Before that it was prolly... ten years? Ben: I can, yeah. Cool, so pretty recently, I knew there was a reason I asked you that. Lee: Oh, yeah. Very timely question. On point as always. Ben: Haha. Those things will last twenty years in the cupboard. May as well not let em go to waste anyway. Lee: No. In fact I'll probly go back inside and check and make sure I didn't miss any on my last round. Ben: Haha. Okay. I have just so many random questions just scribbled down. What one makes sense next. Lee: That's cool. Ben: Arrre youuu watching any shows right now with your fiance, since you just mentioned her. Any Columbo. Lee: No, we haven't... well, I'll take that back, sooo... we both enjoy The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on... Netflix, I believe? No, it's not Netflix, it's Amazon. Ben: Yup. Lee: Yeah, that's a really good show and I think they only have like two or three episodes left in the, I guess it's the series. It's definitely season 3 maybe but I don't think they're makin another one after that. Ben: I've heard it has great costumes. Lee: Yeah, great costumes, great set design. The dialogue's just... razor sharp. (starts laughing to himself) Ben: Haha, yup. Lee: And it's a pretty unique concept or storyline or however you wanna put it, it's not something I've seen anything like before so... Ben: And that's about the housewife who becomes a standup comedian? Lee: Yeah, pretty much. Yup. Ben: Okay, okay. Is she your favorite character in the show? Lee: She's great. She's also got this lady who plays her manager who's (starts laughing to himself again) pretty hilarious at times. And then, oh, maybe you can help me with this one -- her dad is played by the guy who was in that show, you would know his name. He was in, I wanna say he was in The Man Who Wasn't There but I can't put my finger on where he woulda been. But he played that like neurotic detective on some TBS show I can't remember. Ben: Huh. Okay. I don't think I can remember? But I'm just gonna look it up and I'll include it in the transcript of the interview. https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001724/ Lee: Yeah, but his character is probably my favorite of the bunch. Ben: Nice. So Mrs. Maisel and no other shows right now? Lee: No. No, we try to avoid the TV as much as possible which we do a really good job at but every once in a while we’ll watch... we watched Clue? The movie Clue last night from 1985? Ben: Oh I love that one. Lee: Yeah, it's the first time I'd seen it. Ben: Oh, it's great. Great ensemble cast. Lee: Yeah, Christopher Lloyd and the guy whose name I don't remember but I think he was in like Rocky Horror Picture Show. Ben: Tim Curry. Lee: Tim Curry, yeah. He was really good. I didn't recognize anyone else, I think. Ben: Yeah. And then the maid. I've seen it a couple times but when you're really young that maid with the great cleavage, it's like, I like this movie. Lee: Lotta great cleavage in that movie, to be honest. I pointed that out as we were watchin it, I was like, yeah... pretty decent amount of cleavage. They knew what they were doin back in the 80s. Wouldn't get away with that now, I'll tell you that much! Ben: Yup, yup. Lee: So yeah, that's about it. Ben: That's a good one, man. So keeping on this same line of questions: last movie you saw in the theater?? Lee: I do actually know the last movie I saw in the theater is I went to see Joker. Ben: Nice. Lee: And I was thoroughly disappointed in that movie, I didn't like that at all. Ben: Really? You thought it was overdone? Lee: Uh, yeah, it's just, I didn't find it at all... interesting, or compelling or... I dunno. Like I just didn't understand why I was sittin there watchin it. And I love Joaquin Phoenix, I think he does a great job in everything I've seen him in but I didn't find his performance all that interesting, or I didn't find the character of the Joker the way they wrote it all that interesting either. I've heard it compared to like Taxi Driver before but it was basically the same story, this kind of loner, isolated, gets a little obsessed with the wrong things and all of a sudden he's crazy. Ben: Right. Yeah. And that was the last movie you saw in the theater? Lee: Yeah... I think so. And then before that Christopher Robin. Ben: Cool, haha. How was that? Lee: That was a great movie. I'll take Christopher Robin over Joker any day of the week. Ben: Hahaha. Lee: What are you laughin at? Ben: Did you see that with your nephew or with your fiance? Lee: Well she was not my fiance at the time but uh, we had just started dating and we went and saw that and, both enjoyed it. Ben: Nice. Have you been listening to any music? Lee: Mmm, gash. I meaaan... a little bit. We'll throw on some tunes around the house every now and then. Ben: Do you have a speaker system or like a bluetooth speaker err? Lee: Yeah, like a little bluetooth speaker, which is fairly decent, it just kinda fills up the room. And then if I'm workin out I'll put on somethin in the headphones just to supplement the coffee, so I feel like I can take on the world. But it's been a long time since I've consistently listened to music, I'm more into podcasts and stuff these days. Ben: Yea, I think that's like a lot of people. What are your favorite podcasts? Lee: Uumm... geez louise... aahh... my favorite podcast is called Part of the Problem by a guy named Dave Smith. And it's sort of a equal parts I guess political and current events. Ahh... what would you call it. I dunno... discussion, or whatever. Ben: Discourse. Lee: Huh? Ben: Discourse? Lee: Yeah, well it's him, Dave Smith, who actually got his start in and still is a standup comedian, so he's got a really good talent of bein able to sort of dissect political news, current events news and then put a usually pretty funny take on it. And if not he's just an incredibly interesting guy and has a take that I sort of identify with more often than not, so... Ben: Is he our age or older err? Lee: Actually, yeah, he's exactly our age, I believe, he's 36, 37. Your birthday's comin up, what, next week, right? Ben: Uh, yeah, I guess it's kinda been in my mind but, I'll be celebrating by myself. Lee: Are you ready? Ben: Yeah, 37! Seems like a fine age, ya know? Lee: It is a fine age, to be sure. Ben: Yeah, yeah. Just keep on learning little things, little improvements. Lee: Yup, every day. Ben: Soo... podcasts, so yeah, any others besides the Dave Smith one? Lee: Umm... I mean, yeah, I mean I've sort of got my little Rolodex that I'll roll through from time to time, this guy Tom Woods I like listenin to a lot. I've actually been pretty good at eliminating podcasts from my diet, not addin em, just kinda cuttin out the riffraff. Ben: Some podcast pruning? Lee: Yeah, exactly. The Joe Rogans of the world have no place in my heart anymore. Ben: Shh, I was just thinking the other day about isn't it crazy Joe Rogan is like the Walter Cronkite of our generation? Lee: Haha, yeah, I know, but he's such a fucking douche too. Not that Cronkite wasn't a douche but... Ben: It's like, can you picture Walter Cronkite being into jiu-jitsu, I mean, tha'd be pretty great, but... Lee: That would be pretty great. And like slammin DMT and smoking like insane amounts of weed and basically just agreeing with everybody on his podcast, everything they say all the time. Ben: Haha, ahh, him saying JFK was assassinated and then immediately smoking a joint right on TV, that would have been great. Lee: Yup, and then comin up with some conspiracy theories and then backtracking completely within the next 24 hours. Ben: Haha. Well another little random question at the top here is, how do you get your news? Is a lot of it through podcasts or? Lee: Umm, yeah, well what I consider news is not what used to be considered news, like I don't really get day-to-day news because it's all so preposterous and I mean it doesn't affect anybody's life really in any way other than some major stuff, ya know, issues of war and peace and issues like global pandemics, those are gonna affect you much more than, ya know, if you just sort of think back on the last ten to twenty years of what the news cycle consisted of it's just largely preposterous and irrelevant and usually not even true and when it is true it's so quickly spun into a cause or some, you know, political stance, it's like, I'm kind of pruning podcasts and I'm also pruning unnecessary information or opinion out of my life as much as possible and really been enjoying that so, I just gotta find really people I trust and usually not even from a news perspective but if they are discussing something it might pique my interest to look into it a little bit. I'm still stickin with things like theory over day-to-day, you know, I'll prefer to read economics or history or something rather than turnin to the news because I feel like you can learn so much more about patterns and humanity and what not by doin it that way. Ben: Right, right. Your degree is in philosophy, right? Lee: Yes. Ben: Yes, cool. So yeah, the day-to-day politics is pretty much just like watching Real World/Road Rules Challenge, it's just like all drama, people talking shit about each other behind their backs, people tweeting nasty things... Lee: Yeah, but I don't want the takeaway of this to be that the Real World/Road Rules Challenge isn't a fantastic show because it is. Ben: Haha. Lee: Honestly, I think that was a terrible comparison that you just made? I THINK I get where you're comin from but...? Yeah, it's just so dumb, it's not only that it does not seem true or accurate or important at the time but, what?, less than, what, 72 hours usually it's just like, nobody's talking about it anymore, nobody cares, nothing has changed. I just feel like it's a really great way to fill your life with a whole bunch of unnecessary anxiety and anger and animosity towards other people or other groups or whatever it is, it's just like a really awesome way for you to distract yourself from what actually should be at the front of your mind which is what you're doing on a day-to-day basis and the health and well-being of your family and close friends and, sorta how you can contribute to makin the world a little bit better and makin yourself a little healthier and happier and the people you love happier as well. Just don't have any time for it. Ben: Right. You don't have any time for, “Nancy Pelosi ate Mitch McConnell's ice cream out of the fridge” and uh... Lee: Haha, “She drank his milkshake!” No, I don't, I mean every once in a while I'll kinda click somethin, tune back in, just to remind myself how... how... just the word I keep using is how preposterous it all is and how much weight some people put on it and like I said it just becomes such an unnecessary energy suck and soul suck and just, yeah... No need! Ben: Yeah, yup... So what are your go-to apps? What apps on your phone do you find yourself using the most? Lee: That's actually interesting, I sort of am gonna contradict myself but there’s an app I use called Newsvoice which, I liked it a lot better when I started using it, now I feel it's not quite as cool, but it used to just be an app that would compile headlines, you know, local, international, national, whatever, and it would offer, say, for every story it would give you five or six different headlines from different, um, organizations with different political leanings, so you'd get like a HuffPo article and then you'd get a, you know, Wall Street Journal and you'd get the same story covered four or five, six different ways, which is kind of a cool way to avoid unnecessary bias. So that's one I've kinda been hittin up a little. I've really been enjoying everyone's hot takes on the Facebook app with this Coronavirus, just really gettin a sense of (starts laughing) how everybody's reacting. That's really enjoyable. Ben: Yup, yup. So Newsvoice and Facebook? Lee: Yup, I like those. And then you know, I do all my mobile banking and bill paying through apps, so I got apps for those. Ben: Useful... useful. Lee: Yup. What else? Oh, Golf Clash. That's a great one. I play a little Golf Clash when the time is right. Ben: Golf Clash, niiice. If you hit a good ball on that is it like do you feel it in your body still? Lee: Oh, it'll let you know. They'll yell great shot at you or perfect shot and it's like, my entire day has been validated. Ben: Haha, nice. All right, soo... going back to the music question, I know you said you're not listenin to too much music but what was the last concert you saw? Lee: Ooo. Wow... Ahh... Honestlyyy... unless I can remember something else, I think it was the Rancid and Mighty Mighty Bosstones New Year's Eve bash in Los Angeles. Ben: Nice. Where was that? What was the venue? Lee: That was aaat... oh god, if you rattle off a couple of the big ones around there I'll remember it. Ben: Ehhh, I'm blanking on those, there's the Hollywood Bowl of course but it was probably at a smaller club. Lee: No, it wasn't that, it was an indoor venue. Ben: The El Raaayy. Lee: No, it's recongizable but I can't remember what it was. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrine_Auditorium But that can't be right though because that would have been like... four years ago at least? Ben: Yeah, and when did we go to that Weezer/Panic at the Dis... maybe I shouldn't even mention Panic at the Disco but when did we go to that Weezer show, was that four or five years ago? Lee: You mean when Weezer opened up for Panic at the Disco? Ben: Ohh god, no, no, Panic at the Disco opened up for Weezer. Lee: “STOP SMOKING!” Ben: Hahahah... oh gosh. We didn't really fit in with the Panic at the Disco fans. Lee: No, but was that after? Cuz honestly, man, my timeline is so blurry and like out of sorts that you could literally pick an event within ten years and another one within ten years and I couldn't tell you which came first, with like a four-year margin of error. It's pathetic. Yeah, I don't remember. I honestly don't remember. Ben: Yup, but that Rancid/Bosstones New Year's show was pretty good? Lee: Oh, it was awesome, man. I was like thirty rows or, it wasn't rows cuz everyone was standing up but I was probly about thirty heads deep, so great view of the stage and what I considered close but I was like, well this will be certainly out of the way of any aggressive moshpit that might break out. So I was just kinda sittin there waitin for the show to start, sippin my beer, Rancid comes out, and like the FIRST note they play, which is from “Maxwell Murder” cuz they played ... And Out Come the Wolves from start to finish, first bass note I just get a fucking forearm to the back of my head and my beer goes flying like six rows up. I was like, well this is on! Ben: Haha. Lee: I kind of fought my way out of it but basically just retreated another thirty rows and, enjoyed the rest of the show. Ben: Nice. Got another beer, I hope. Lee: Got another beer or two, although I did have to be, that was when I was doing the PI work so I had to be like downtown at like six in the morning for some surveillance thing, and the show basically didn't start until almost midnight, so I didn't get insanely intoxicated or anything cuz I was trying to be responsible cuz I had to be at work the next day. But it was a blast. Ben: I think the Rancid lead singer... Tim Armstrong? Lee: Yup. Ben: I think he lived in our neck of the woods. I think he lived in Highland Park. Lee: Yeah, he did, I think he lived in Highland Park and that bar that Heather used to work at, she said he used to go there quite a bit and just hang out. Ben: Yup, I love that place. Lee: Eedendale or Ed-endale? Ben: Edendale, yup. Tom Mix, Casey Mix's grandfather's old stopping grounds. Lee: Isn't it crazy how you can remember like these minute little details like that but you ask me like what year something took place and I'm like, I have no idea, I think it was some time in the 90s but I could be wrong about that. Ben: Haha. I think Zack de la Rocha from Rage Against the Machine also lived in Highland Park/Eagle Rock area. Lee: Yep... yep. Although I think he's about to move up because from what I hear, the crazy anarchist/socialists of Rage Against the Machine are reuniting to go on like a CitiBank tour or something (starts laughing). Ahh, that's so fucking depressing. Ben: Haha. They're finally taking the corporate money. Lee: Well everyone's gotta make a living, ya know? Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Ben: Haha. So are you reading any books? Lee: Umm... actually no, I'm not. I've been sort of lookin around for a book around here that I haven't read but I feel like every book I have I've read at least once or twice. I kinda want something new but of course the libraries are shut down. Ben: Right. You want something fiction or nonfiction or? Lee: Yeah, I don't read fiction. I haven't read any fiction since I think R.L. Stine back in the day. Ben: Haha, gotcha. Lee: I just find nonfiction a lot more interesting. So yeah, I’m not reading anything and I'm ashamed to say it, because it's a great time to read. Ben: Yes... indeed... uuumm... so what was the last alcoholic beverage you had? Do you like to have a drink some nights err? Lee: Oh yeah, oh yeah. Typically my go-to has always been whiskey. But I was talkin to a colleague at work and he was sayin that he just really enjoys drinking tequila and I was like well I’ve never really had a taste for tequila and he just started talking about how great it was and then I was like well shit, maybe I should give tequila another try, so last couple nights I’ve had a little bit a tequila, which is... somewhat enjoyable. Still not my thing but... Ben: Yeah. It gives you energy, I think it’s the only... upper? Lee: Yeah, the only upper, stimulant, whatever. That’s what he told me and I was like, well that doesn’t make sense cuz it’s alcohol and alcohol is a depressant all the time, it just depresses your nervous system. So then I looked it up, er, googled it, and it was like a super non-clear, vague answer and it was like, well while it technically is a stimulant it’s also ethanol which is also a depressant. And I’m like, well what the fuck does that mean? But I did notice that when I was drinkin it, we were sittin there playin Yahtzee and I was like fired up. Ben: Right? Lee: I dunno. I dunno if it’s just fired up just cuz of the Yahtzee and I thought it was gonna be lame and I fuckin loved it. But I was super into it and I was kinda shakin my leg a little bit like, yeah, let’s do this, let’s play some more Yahtzee and I was like, is this the Tequila that’s doing that or is this the Yahtzee or am I just like in a really good mood. Ben: I think that’s what tequila does cuz I HATED tequila, never drank it, I remember sitting next to a girl at a party at Saint Mike’s and her breath, she was drinking out of a big bottle of tequila and her whole being just wreaked of cheap tequila. And I think I was like nineteen or twenty at the time so I was like, that is the worst smell I’ve ever smelled, I’m not going anywhere near that. Flash forward to Clapp’s 30th birthday, we went to the Clippers game at Staples Center and then afterwards we were at a bar downtown and someone ordered Patron shots for everyone and I was like, I dunno if I can do this. And then we do the shot and then like twenty minutes later, two or three more shots and people are like dancing on the tables. A little bit different than sippin on scotch, so... Lee: Yeah, well the other pointer that this guy gave me was, you know, most booze you can usually get away with drinking cheaper stuff out of a plastic bottle or somethin, if you wanted to buy some cheaper whiskey out of a plastic bottle you should be fine but he was like, just don’t ever do that with tequila. If you’re gonna do it just make sure it’s somewhat decent stuff and it’s in a glass bottle. I have no way to confirm whether what this guy’s saying is accurate or not. But tequila does seem to be...a bit of an enigma for me, so I might try to get to the bottom of it a little more. Ben: Nice. Let’s seee.... How’s the dog doing? Lee: Dog’s great, man! Dog is absolutely great. He’s settled in beautifully. For the first few months we had him he was a little bit, um... I dunno if neurotic’s the right word but he definitely was a little bit more on the nervous side and it takes a while to build up trust obviously, and we couldn’t take him off the leash, we live backed up against a pretty wide open area of land where we would love to walk him but we really couldn’t take him off the leash and it would suck because it’s such a great place for the dog to run around and we just never knew when he would come back and blah blah blah. Ben: Yep. Lee: And he would not let you like sorta touch his collar, he wouldn’t bite but he would let you know, like a little fake snap or whatever if you touched his collar. He drooled a lot. But right around month 3? He just like totally settled in. And now every day twice a day we just kinda walk around, whether it’s backwoods or on the street, off leash, and he kinda just like trots up ahead, looks back at us, waits for us to catch up. And then if we yell, if we say “Here” he kinda turns around and comes runnin back towards us. If we say “Stay” or “Wait” he just sits there. He sleeps, he’s like the most cuddley dog of all time, you can’t be anywhere near him without him coming up and putting his face on your lap. I think he’s gotten better looking too, to be honest with you. When we first got him I didn’t think he was very cute, but I think he was just carrying a lot of stress in his face. Ben: Right. Lee: And his face sorta always seemed a little bit tight or contorted as if he was unsure. But now he just kinda melts into everything he does. And he’s super cool. And he’s gained fifteen pounds since we got him, which is awesome, because he was really underweight. Ben: Nice. Yeah, was he a rescue? What’s his name, by the way? I’m forgetting his name. Lee: He is a rescue. His name when we got was Chance and we were like, well that name sucks and so we changed it to Bojo. B-O-J-O. Yeah, he was a rescue who apparently spent like the first year or two at some shelter down south in Colorado, this place had like no money, they kept him outside in like a coat year-round, which is rough here in Colorado, it gets cold in the winters. And then he was transferred up to another shelter up here and like no one would adopt him. We dunno why now cuz we look at him and we’re like, we have the perfect dog, we’ve got the best dog of all time. And I know everyone thinks that about their dog but... he really is cool... Ben: He’s a mix? Lee: Yeah, we were actually thinkin about doing one of those dog DNA tests because he’s soo like, he looks... we think he’s a boxer/lab mix, he kinda looks like that. But he also looks like he might have some Mastiff in him, and he’s got some tendencies of some other breeds, so I dunno, it would just be kind of a cool thing to know exactly what he is but... We just tell people boxer/lab. Ben: Yeah. That sounds like a handsome dog. Lee: Yeah, he’s a real handsome fella. Ben: You’ve earned his trust and... nice. Lee: Yeah. And we trust him too now which is super cool, we can just kinda walk around the woods together and just have a good old time. Ben: Nice. Yeah, you’ve always been a dog person. Lee: Yeah, I think they’re great. I just think they’re great. Ben: Haha. So what’s the weather like in Colorado? Lee: Uh, it’s pretty much beautiful. It’s kind of annoying because the winters are SUPER long and like by the end of it you’re just ready for it to be over and you think spring’s comin because it gets like sunny and mid-forties for a couple days. And then you’ll get like three days of snow and everything that melted’ll just come right back. Ben: Yeah. Lee: So that’s kinda where we’re at right now, where you can hear snow melting off roofs but there’s still basically snow covering, you know, ninety percent of the surfaces. But it’s like sunny and 45 or something today, so... yeah. Just kinda hopin it stays that way. I’m ready for spring now, I’m a summertime guy. Ben: Yup. Have you seen any signs of spring, any flowers er...? Lee: No flowers but there’s definitely some wild grasses showing, and the sagebrush you can actually see the tops of it now. It’s not like blooming or anything but it was just buried in snow for the last seven months so it’s kinda cool to see some open patches of grass and some sagebrush and... more birds. Stuff like that, so... definitely some signs. Ben: Nice. Will Bojo munch on any sagebrush or any grass? Lee: He does enjoy a... I mean this is our first real spring with him so we’ve never know him to react to how the snow is melting. He loves snow, he loves jumpin around in it but he does seem to be chewin on more grass now that it’s melting. And he did show up yesterday for the first time with a dead squirrel in his mouth. Ben: Mhm. I’m sure he was probably pretty proud of that. Lee: Oh yeah. And then we were like telling him to drop it and put it away and he was just like lookin at us like, what are you guys doing? Ben: Haha. Yeah, right. I brought you guys dinner! Lee: Yeah. And we were like ah, we’ll just put it in the trash bag that’s full of dog shit and then throw it in the dumpster, and he’s like, whatever. Ben: Haha. Ah, that’s great. Are the people in Colorado much different than they are in MA? Lee: Umm... It’s been a while since I’ve lived in Massachusetts to be honest with you so, like, the sort of the quirks of everybody... I dunno, Colorado’s a very active outdoor community. But up here, like IN the mountains where it’s like ski resort country... there’s just a lot of um... the term “shitbag”’s probly not nice to use but like just a lot of people you can tell their reeeal concern in life is like bein able to shred some fresh gnar. Ben: Haha. Yes. Lee: And other than that you can like pretty much go fuck yourself. And they’ll be nice people and they won’t, you know, go out of their way to hurt anyone but like, you can’t like RELY on them for anything. Ben: Right. They just wanna shred gnar. Lee: Yeah, they just wanna shred some fresh fresh buttercream and like I don’t blame them for that? But at the same time it’s like you need to be able to pull your weight a little bit. Ben: Haha, yup. Lee: So that's one group of people, but then there's another group of people up here that's just like active, engaged, friendly, um, usually a little bit older, maybe people who are early retirees or just retired or whatever who seem like really topnotch people. Ben: Which proves our point that the older you get, maybe the cooler. Maybe the cooler. Lee: Yeah, the cooler, the wiser, I mean that's the way I feel about myself, for sure. Ben: Have you gotten on the mountain at all this year? Lee: Yeah. I mean it sucks now because they had to close... this whole county, I mean just like everywhere else really but this whole county, they had to shut down about a month before the official end of ski season so, we didn't realize the time of our last ski day was gonna be our last ski day, but... We try to get out, like, in my line of work obviously, bein a chef, the holiday season and that winter season up here I'm just getting slammed like nonstop for a couple months while everyone's up here on vacation and doing all their skiing. BUT once all those people go home and February and March rolls around and it really starts to slow down then that's my time where I'm like, cool, I'm gonna ski like at least once, maybe twice a week and just enjoy everything around here and not have to fight crowds cuz, you know, I'm obviously not off on weekends or anything. So late winter/early spring these last two years has been my time to get up there. That got cut short a little bit this season but, got to get out on the mountain on the skis. We do a lot of hiking and we've been snowshoing every day since we've been quarantined, like we just go out on either some hike or some snowshoe, we went sledding with the dog the other day and that was just insanely fun even though it was kinda dangerous. But yeah, there's no shortage of outdoor activities for me right now. Ben: Yeah. That all sounds great. Lee: It is great. Ben: And these are all things you can also do in New Hampshire, are you guys still thinking of moving to New Hampshire? Lee: Yeah, it's definitely, um, we've got a shortlist workin right now in terms of options or where we wanna go from here or what we wanna do and they're all sort of... what's the term?... I dunno... co-related, codependent, whatever, like one factor's obviously dependent on several others. But New Hampshire's definitely up towards the top of the list. So I was excited, she was excited. And then we had a couple other options sort of present themselves to us so we're kinda weighin those out now and, uh, we'll figure it out. Ben: Yup... Options like... out west or.. back east? Lee: Um... Just options, Ben, you know what I mean? I don't feel like I need to get into any more than that. Ben: Haha, all right, I don't wanna get into your business too much, okay. Lee: Haha, no, you'll be the first to know once we decide though. Ben: Good, good. And also I didn't want to get into politics too much because it can just be a drag like we both agree but... Lee: Sure. Ben: ... and this is kind of a tricky question in the post-#MeToo movement and now that you're engaged but, carrying it over from our last interview, do you still want to boink Hillary Clinton. Lee: (trying to suppress laughing) Ahh god, I have no recollection... Ben: Haha, just purely hypothetically! Purely hypothetically! Lee: I have no recollection of that conversation ever happening. Ben: Hahah. I mean it's on my Tumblr but... Lee: Oh yeah, well... I don't even know how to get on a Tumblr so... Ben: Haha. Lee: No, I don't actively want to, uumm... If the situation presented itself, like if I was a single man... yeah, it's obviously something you'd have to consider but... yeah, maybe the desire has lessened as compared to what it was the last time we did this. Ben: Still a lot of power in play there. Lee: Yeah, for sure, I mean that's... Ben: Part of the appeal? Lee: I could be theoretically a couple heartbeats away from the White House like if things worked out between Hill Dawg and I, which I would make sure everything was kosher on my end but... Yeah, that's funny that you mentioned politics and I thought about our last conversation and all that was goin on and all that we talked about and the question you had is do you still wanna blank Hillary Clinton. Topnotch journalism. Ben: Haha. I mean I spent hours honing these questions. Uumm, yeah, again I don't wanna ask annyy.... we're pretty much at the end here because I do have to transcribe all of this which will take me like thirty hours... but I enjoy it, just savoring, retyping every word that you've spoken but ahh... obviously having in mind what's going on in the world right now -- where do we go from here? Lee: Ahhh, gosh. That's a big question. Ben: Just... more tequila and Yahtzee err? Lee: I mean, you say that I think tongue in cheek but... Ben: Not really!... not really. Lee: Yeah, no, I mean my whole mentality from the day it sort of became clear that this was gonna be a serious thing was, um, it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me to put my energy anywhere I want and to focus it anywhere I want, and the way I've chosen to do that is like I've said focus on my family and the people around me who I care about and care about meee... you know, get out in nature every day, get exercise every day, try and learn something, we've been doin a ton of cooking at home, pickling pretty much every vegetable in sight... Ben: Nice, that's exciting. Lee: ... Yeah, and just gettin back to the good life and I feel like there's a lot of people who are embracing similar approaches. And then there are also the people whooo, ya know, take ahh... one of the first headlines I saw was like, “Pornhub offers free premium membership for everybody,” and it's like okay, you can spend the next two months just furiously whackin it with your pants around your ankles. You're not gonna come out of that in a good place and you are gonna be terrified the whole time and you're gonna come out in some fucking self-induced stupor and like you're not gonna know what to do or where to turn. So I feel like there's already sort of two mentalities developing and there's two approaches we can take and, I dunno what we're gonna do as a nation, because that's just insane, that many people all tryna choose a path, but at the same time when I said like I'm tryna cut off useless information and stupid politics, what it boils down to is people's individual decisions they make and paths they choose to take. I dunno where we go, but I know where I'm goin so... that's what I'm focused on. Ben: So... Pornhub in moderation? Lee: I would say no Pornhub, if you want my advice, I would say stop whacking yourself silly altogether and choose somethin else to do, find another focus. Ben: Haha. Okay, cool. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about or...? Lee: Uh, I want to let you know that I love you. Ben: Thanks! Lee: And I hope you're doin well. And I hope everyone else back home is doin well. And I've been meaning to send you something, and I finally figured out how I'm gonna do it. The vessel was sort of always the issue, I think I've got that solved. So keep an eye out for something in the mail. Ben: Ooo, a package from Lee. No offense to you but I will be sure to fully sanitize it upon receiving it. Lee: Haha, yeah, for sure. Sanitize everything. Ben: I talked to Shaun right before doing this and I asked him if he had any questions to ask you and he said, "Ask him where the fuck he has been and why we never hear from him." Lee: Haha. Ben: I assume it's cuz, you know you were saying, well, usually you're working and now you're able to enjoy yourself but life for a chef is just like, you're not even able to think, it's just like french fries, french fries, french fries! Right? Lee: Yeah, it's pretty much all about french fries all the time. Ben: Haha. Sometimes sweet potato fries. Lee: But I dunno, I could put that back at Shaun, like when was the last time... I mean... I dunno... look, man... I'm not tryna... Ben: Haha. Lee: Ohh, I miss you guys, I miss Shaun especially. I'll do my part to make sure that we reconnect sometime soon. Ben: Cool. I think that's the perfect... perfect way to end it.

#lee

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cuthie · 5 years ago

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Lautner: Stirring The Cauldron

The question was asked: Where will you be when the fourth war comes to an end?

Tell you where I’ll be. Alone, back in a retaken Darkshore or Gilneas one. No one giving me stink eye, no one looking to take offense at any slightest insult they perceive, whether it was intentional or happenstance. No more frowning faces teaming up against me, scolding me like I’m some punk kid who needs discipline. No more Laz giving me whiplash with his opening up when we’re alone and growling when we’re in public eye. No more fuckin Marco asking if my balls had dropped while he fondles his lynx. No more oversized elves with their weird negligent rituals, no more half demons.. Well, that guy hadn’t turned out too bad, had he? I guess the druidess is okay too. Whatever. That whole thing was probably Laz’s fault too. No more witches. Cept Margo, she’s cool. How had I not picked up on that before? Oh yeah, cause Laszlo is a turd and ugh.

No more tryin to make amends through shifts in behavior that nobody picked up on anyways. No more tryin’ to earn respect and fight on behalf of my allies while they catcall me and make me feel like shite mid-fight. No more having to drag my feet away from competitors who genuinely like me, and having to return to a group that looks the other way when I approach. No more biased leadership ready to shift the blame on their favorite scapegoat. No more stick up her ass Haesel sayin’ we’re square, then goin out of her way to piss me off or finding a way to belittle me to others without having to even speak my name. Me. Wilderness. Books. Lots of books. I’ve done such little reading since joining these assholes. Like, the dumb training with those Sentinels. Okay, so the Sentinels are actually really cool, but fuck me sideways if some of them aren’t the most condescending of people. No more swords and armor and magic hex pouches. No more blame. Just me, reading a thousand books of a thousand different worlds and characters, the best of which are just blank enough for me to become them internally. At least Kierro’s cool. He could have named me. He didn’t. Everyone knew who he was talking about. Mid-speech I got a dozen sets of eyes directed right at me. A subtle threat suggesting I be removed for my own safety. If that happened, I’d consider my debt repaid. Boom, done, over, easy. I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for them, so I figured the nicest thing I could do would be to join up. I’m not a babe lost in the woods. I’m not useless, no matter how Haesel tries to devalue my worth. I’m a Gilnean. We’re good at bloody everything. Moreso, I’m a Worgen, I’m a wolf, I’m a beast, that monster that Lassie fears. Leaping up fifteen or twenty feet into branches, swift as an arrow, capable of ripping a man in half with just my claws. Or teeth, as that blood elf had learned. Any witches wanna fling curses at me, I’ll find out what they taste like. Probably foul as fel like their little whatever-the-fuck those creatures were I bit into. Sticks and mud and festering meat. I’m pretty sure nobody saw me vomit afterwards. They jump on even the slightest weakness here, and that’s all I need is someone asking if Laut’s ‘tum tum’ is okay. Myth had said what I was thinkin, maybe what more than a few of us were thinking. He asked, ‘What would the Sentinels do, Haesel?’ What would they do if she abandoned her duty to them, left her post and went home because she wasn’t in charge and things weren’t going to her liking? Haesel had feigned confusion. ‘Whatever do you mean?’ I tried liking her, but no matter what I do she just kinda flips me the bird. No, she’s not vulgar like that, but her own method is much more grating. So I finished Myth’s question for him. ‘You abandoning your post.’ It was the first thing I had said in a good hour. I had taken in Kierro’s wolf, I was just as injured as the next bloke, but I deserved to be. So I stood in line, waiting in silence. Then Fey blew up. Haesel was abandoning us under the pretense that we’re too dangerous. No, not us, me. Was that supposed to be an ultimatum? Or an excuse because she was scared? Whatever. Fey’s the one who blew up, stomping her feet and telling me to ‘Shut the fuck up’. It wasn’t the first time she had taken a side against me, won’t be the last. I keep going back to that Kierro speech. I’ve got all my shite packed, and I’m trying to offer smiles to everyone. Hey, hi, hello. It’s exhausting being social and I’m terrible at it. Kierro’s got my back though. He didn’t say my name. I think he’s sincere when he calls us a family. That’s something I haven’t experienced for seven years now. I was just a kid before shite went all sixes and sevens. Now this big goofy night elf with his wild kinda hot hair is holding his hand out to me. And I owe him, I owe all of them. It’s the only reason I’m still here, close as I was to just uprooting after Fey’s outburst. I don’t have to like everyone, none of them have to like me, but we need to be able to work together. I need to suck it up when certain individuals strip me down verbally, let me know how useless I am. Of course, I did fuck up. This all started long before that. This was the first time in their company I -actually- messed things up. Everything else has been such peculiar happenstance that it’s just too difficult to explain away, moreso when I consider how awful I am at explaining things anyways. I just talk in circles trying to find the words that match descriptively and can be understood by everyone. I read faces wrong, see confusion, and retrace my conversation. Blah. Why did I write that dumbass note? Ugh. We were scouting. Bae was there. Good lookin, handsome as fel Baelryn. He stuck up for me when we were strangers. He helped me take the win against Laz and Margo. That was amazing. Things weren’t as tense in Boralus as they were here in the haunted woods of Drustvar.

So we’re looking at effigies. Old ones. If there was any magic in them, it probably expired a hundred years ago. Of course, I don’t know anything about them outside of what was explained to us back in Whateverguard Soundstorm. I really need to memorize at least the names of these locales. So Bael shoots one, Lex.. Was that her name? Lexi, yeah, pretty sure. She picks some up, inspects them. Every gust of wind, every twig snapping and every hoot of an owl was ominous to them and everyone else in the woods. People who are actually good fighters. We were in a war against the Undead and their Horde monster companions. Some of these people have been in war after war, standing toe to toe with space Orcs from another dimension as well as the foulest of demons in existence. Comparatively, these old hags were fleas, right? Nuisance, pests. But they were scared, they were cautious. It made me uneasy. And Bae was there with me, and everyone was just too worrisome. So I smirk and make a joke out of it. That’s something I tend to do when I’m nervous anyways, make bad jokes that only I get. I took out a bit of parchment, got my ink and quill all setup. I like the smell of ink on paper, it makes me think I could someday be a writer like my father was. And then I wrote the first thing that came to mind. ‘Dear Coven of Whatever’. I don’t remember the rest. I wanted them to know we had them where we wanted and we weren’t scared. Which wasn’t true at all. Logically, they weren’t going to happen across my note in the middle of the fuckin woods in the middle of the night even. Right? The random happenstance chance of that was just.. Incalculable. I put a small note on a tree, I feel better, I look good, strong, intimidating, hot maybe? Heh, yeah. I mean, I’d do me. Lex caught me, read the note. Told me not to be doing stuff like that, so I just gave her that confident smirk. I wasn’t flat out beating my chest, but I did give Bael that eyebrow thing I’ve been workin on in the mirror. The ‘hubba hubba, yeah I’m fly, baby I know’ look. Is there even anything there, or is this Laz all over again? Then shite went down. I fell asleep reading about the starless nights of Roland and Steven, could-be lovers of Westfall. Gah I wish the author would just settle that. I mean, come on, they’re clearly made for one another. And Gil? Wow, yeah, fuck Gil. Rich ass bastard, Steven wouldn’t even be with him if it wasn’t for his money and the debt owed. Ugh. Voices rang out, reading my letter word for word. In my opinion, there was as much a chance of Sylvanas Windrunner finding that letter as there was these old codgers. It was all a rush. The undead, the banging, the storm, the calls, the little army of hellions that tasted like illidari farts. We won. That’s what we came here for, right? To fight them, to beat them, to protect those that would be harmed otherwise. If their focus is on us, it’s not on the townsfolk. That’s a good thing, but regardless, that was never my intent. I wanted to put a positive spin on it. I didn’t wanna gripe or bicker, that was the old pre-Ancient ritual Lautner. This was the new and improved me, the one who’s eager to help and says ‘yes ma’am’ and ‘no thank you’. They didn’t give two shits. They were pissed and they let me know, repeatedly. Some more than others. So what now? I guess I’ll just shut up. That’s what Fey told me to do, yeah? Fuck her. Maybe I should just intentionally say nothin’ when I’m around her. Then again, that’s exactly what she wants. She wouldn’t see passive aggressiveness, she’d just see it as her winning. Winning what? Why is it always so important that I ‘win’ things that aren’t competitions? Ugh. Whatever. This is so stupid dramatic, like a bad young adult novel. ‘But my feelings’. Yeah, fuck feelings. I need to suck this shit up and just kill some witches. I’ll eventually get to go back to being alone when we win. Or I’ll go to where that fire would have taken me. Either way, it’s best to just continue this dumbass path of trying to get along with assholes. Just smile and nod and take my lickings. Who knows, maybe they’ll come around.

#lautner #WRA RP #wrarp

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omgnsfwisnsfw-blog · 6 years ago

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3: For the Glory of Hera

A siren startled him back into the waking world. His eyes opened suddenly and he gasped. He wheezed and coughed and that rattled his bones and aggravated a sharp pain in his back and ribs caused by a metal folding chair assault that he never saw coming. The interior glass of the rental car was fogged up by his breath. John yawned as he wiped away the obstruction. The sun was starting to rise on the day after the big event. After his unceremonious elimination, he got dressed into street clothes and quietly departed the arena. John walked past angry and happy competitors alike and no one bothered to say anything to him. John had parked in a backlot of closed grocery store when the arena finally left his rearview mirror. He opened the driver’s side door and let the fresh morning air circulate throughout the car. He just wasn’t sure what to think about the last few days and the harsh realities of what had happened. He had failed to live up to the expectations that he had set for himself. He understood that many others would be combatting those feelings on this very morning but this was him and that was all that mattered in his mind. He had promised to redeem himself like in his favorite books. Instead he had barely registered anything of notice. In retrospect, he shouldn’t have been so naive to ask his body to come to life in such a short period of time. The sun rising was symbolic and it was something he had cherished for the last three months. This was another day. And then there would be another day after this one. Even in his prime, he had never seen something so grand as the last few days. Before everything went down, they all had wanted to talk and he had pushed them away. John couldn’t help to feel that he was being prodded into doing something he didn’t want to do. Although, not wanting to do it was an oversimplification. John didn’t understand what these media representatives wanted from him. In the past and recently, all people wanted from him is some type of affirmation of their suspicions. John’s knees creaked as he stood up from the car and he stretched his arms into the sky and took the clean air into his lungs and exhaled. It hurt for him to breathe. He pocketed the keys and then closed the door behind him. He surveyed his surroundings and just like him the city and its residents were starting to awake from their collective slumber. Cars started to enter the lot he was in and they were most likely employees of the store. He turned away from the entryway into the street that led him and slowly walked into the alley behind the market. Right now, he was a warm body there to fill up time. Their expectation of him was that he would show up in Tuscaloosa in just over two weeks and compete with two others. John had brief impressions of them. One who would certainly draw many parallels with himself if only on the surface level. A violent and cruel man who seems to be only capable of afflicting pain and suffering on others. After this last couple of days, he could see that archetype being a trend and most times he could see it for what it really was — blustering and puffing out ones chest to compensate for a lack of any redeemable qualities whatsoever. He wasn’t sure about this one, though. It wasn’t like he could read his mind. His apathy was perhaps a product of a system that would expect them to be an animal. An animal to be fed and watered. An animal to be kicked and beaten. An animal to be forgotten and thrown away. And to the general public, that was justified. He had stepped out of the boundaries of acceptable conduct and thus his dehumanization was completely acceptable. Their experiences were wholly different. He had never thought of the benefits of minimal human contact throughout the years but when he concluded that if the only contact one received was negative then perhaps this one would embrace the dehumanization and become a spectacle that they were. The reality, though, is that John would have little to say to this man. His only communication would be through violence. The other was an anomaly and confounded John. He would ask this person, just what is the darkness? What is he so angry about? He had everything someone could ever want. John every once in a while kept up with current events through magazines but he preferred Reader’s Digest. Sometimes there were meaningless fluff pieces about how to “improve” your life but he liked the stories about happy people. Maybe they weren’t happy before but through adversity they were now. And so the first question remained: what the hell is he so angry about? But like the other combatant, there would be little conversation and honestly John did not care. These two men were obstacles. And John was sure that the feeling was mutual. There was no reasoning with them. They were wrought with anger and hatred and should be put down for their own good. He traipsed lightly through the alleyway. He could smell the garbage before he could see it overflowing from a nearby dumpster. He could hear the rodents squeaking and rummaging through a smorgasbord of rotting food. The long narrow pathway opened up into a square bustling with what some consider an undesired element. There were rows and rows of ramshackle tents and the people that owned them were going about their business. The people who had woken up early had already torn their canvas abodes and packed them away. Some wore clothes that were dirty and soiled but their disposition didn’t reflect their situation. Many gathered around a man that dispersed warm soup from a bucket with a bowl into theirs. The chatter was friendly and light hearted. John, with his raggedy pair of tennis shoes, track pants, and sweat-stained hoodie didn’t look out of place here. John sat down on a brick barrier across from them and quietly observed the mutual cooperation. “Enjoyin’ the show?” John turned his head slowly and laid eyes upon an older black man in relatively clean coveralls except for stains on the front pockets and scuffs of dirt on his knees. His face was cracked with advanced age or perhaps his predicaments were not kind to him. Gray wiry hair stuck out from the side of a black baseball cap with a faded Braves logo on it. John nodded at him as if to acknowledge his question. The old man sat beside him on the low wall. “Them, well me too, we packin' up before 12 comes with nothin’ better to do.” John watched a younger man gathering aluminum cans that had just spilled out to the ground back into a garbage bag. “You from around here?” “No,” John mumbled. “Speak up, use your words, boy.” John sighed and looked the man in the eyes. They were unflinching and at this moment a little confrontational at this point. “No.” “Okay, so where you from about?” “I’m not really sure.” There was a moment of silence and then the man cleared his throat and spit out a large glob of phlegm onto the pavement. “Okay, so are we in mutual circumstances?” “No.” “You ain’t much for conversation, are ya? I used to have pry sentences out of my students but they couldn’t shut up on the black top. Always talkin’ shit and the like.” “I’m sorry, I’ll go if you want. I was just … looking around.” “There ain’t much to see here,” the old man laughed, “I mean, you got all the tourist gaga over ‘bout there,” he motioned casually towards the arena John had been the night before, “Been pretty busy this week and they has been plenty of folks circulating about but now it’s just us and the workin’ stiffs.” “You’re a school teacher?” John suddenly asked. “Was. I taught high school english and literature for thirty-four years. But here I am now.” “Why aren’t you teaching anymore?” The old man shrugged, “Ain’t economically viable anymore. But really, it’s my own damn fault. Let alcohol run amok and take over. It was good until it wasn’t good, you know what I mean? What about you?” “I fight people for a living.” “Hmmm, well, put two and two together and I see what you’re alluding to. And I may be a dusty old dog but I still read me a newspaper every mornin’ and your expression ain’t much different then the one they always use from when they took your booking picture. Maybe you a little more weathered and you certainly looked tired and spread thin. I know who you are and well, I ain’t got much opinion about it. My question is: what are you doing here?” “I’m not really sure.” “They ran a story on you in the USA Today a few weeks ago. Said what you was up to. You ever read stories before?” John just nodded. “Right, I figured you’d have time for that. So I read your story and I says to myself — because well nobody else here bother talking to me about anything except where we gonna eat and sleep next — that boy, he a modern day Hercules. And now here we are. You slain any lions recently?” John bristled at this and it was like a switch getting flipped, “I never understood this. How can someone else be responsible for what he did? He did what he did and that is why he set out to redeem himself.” “Ain’t that a shame? I never bothered to teach that story. I think some folks like to romanticize this image of Hercules and I always thought, how many times this guy going to accidentally kill his family and friends?” “You’re wrong about me.” The old man chuckled, “I don’t know you from Adam. I don’t think it really matters because whether you believe it or not, you put yourself on this very journey.” “Hercules was a murderer and even in his labors to redeem himself he deceived others and killed in the name of that redemption. And even after getting everything he wanted, he still caused harm to people that trusted him to protect them. All everyone seems to remember is that he earned immortality and what they see from a cartoon.” “Okay, we ain’t talking literally here but isn’t that the nature of what you do. Get ahead at the expense of others. I guess some of you put a happy face on while you do it. Is that you? You going about to qualify yourself to be a worthwhile human being?” “I don’t know…” “It’s not something that is easy to know. I know that you ain’t love you, though. I hated myself everyday for what I am now but sometime I eventually just accept it. I know it could be better but I got friends here and we watch each others backs and that because we otherwise invisible.” John stared down at his shoes and avoided eye contact with his company. The old man grabbed him by the chin and turned his head and forced the issue with direct relentless eye contact without much resistance. “And so is you. You’re slipping through the cracks and you making sure to marginalize yourself. Well, you can’t get no smaller than this. Going on this journey isn’t going to matter to a hill of beans until you come to terms with yourself. Not who you seem to presenting yourself to be. You a learned man cause I ain’t paying you no compliment that there is no glory in doing this for Hera and you know that. You know that, John.” The old man got to his feet and straightened out the hunched up overalls. “We leaving and you can’t come. This ain’t your story.” And he departed with his people. They dispersed from this area without paying John anymore notice. They left without a trace and the courtyard looked like no one had even been here. And soon after John was gone as well.

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