#stray toasters
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atomic-chronoscaph · 8 months ago
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Stray Toasters - Artwork by Bill Sienkiewicz (1988)
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vertigoartgore · 1 month ago
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1988's Stray Toasters Vol.1 #3 cover by artist Bill Sienkiewicz.
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busterkuris-reviews · 30 days ago
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Stray Toasters
4/5
Sienkiewicz’s art is always incredible, and the way he shifts styles here is masterful. The book goes from standard 9-panel pages to full or two page spreads unlike anything you’ve ever seen. His writing might be a little too ambitious? A surreal sci-fi horror/black comedy satire, even with 50 page issues there’s a lot going on and it doesn’t always come together. The Harvard Chalky and demon subplots feel like maybe too much when you’re still wrapping your head around what’s going on in the main plot. But the themes it’s tackling are fascinating, alluding to childhood trauma and the messed-up dynamic of nuclear family structures. Props to the lettering for helping to sift the confusion, as the constant narrator switches are clearly marked, even when the order of dialogue is sometimes a mess. Maybe not the best book but also not one we’ll easily forget.
GoodReads
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smashedpages · 1 year ago
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Happy birthday to Bill Sienkiewicz!
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tomoleary · 1 year ago
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Bill Sienkiewicz “Stray Toasters” (Marvel, 1988)
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panelswithoutpeople · 6 months ago
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Stray Toasters No. 2
by Bill Sienkiewicz
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d3adlybunn1s · 20 days ago
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I rlly love how this comic was done. I like the art of this, how the writing and story feel like it was all that never ending thought loop, a racing mind that doesn’t stop after one thought but keeps going. The writing feels almost impulsive/ compulsive, like a thought that needed to get out;Not in a broken way I cannot follow along but the right kind of way. It feels like a broken mind made this, someone that knows hurt.
The art is absolutely stunning and it is every single page and panel I am in love. Bill Sienkiewicz, The artist for this comic, did not leave his work space and put his all into this comic. He submerged himself in this comic and I think it really shows in the art. The exaggeration of the mouths and eyes along with the mood set in colors and atmosphere when showing the flashbacks of parents really shows the intensity of the parents especially from a child’s perspective. The mood and atmosphere in those same panels make give the feeling of pain, a distant but strong feeling. Everything in this book feels so distant but so strong, like a dream.
Small rant but overall rlly love this series!!! If you have any recs pls do let me know would love to expplore more comics with art like this. Or rlly anything outside of the more traditional stuff.
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linolinoing · 4 months ago
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pabo? © S298125
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wolfchans · 7 months ago
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BANG CHAN & I.N ♡ LONELY ST. DOMINATE OSAKA (241205)
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jinikaris · 8 months ago
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HYUNJIN // skz code ep.62 neighborhood watch #2
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chanrizard · 5 months ago
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250118 | dominATE Hong Kong D1
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skeletood · 2 years ago
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Pouring one out for myself cause im forcing myself to learn a new animation software
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panelswithoutpeople · 6 months ago
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Stray Toasters No. 2
by Bill Sienkiewicz
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katsukistofu · 11 months ago
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ikea meatballs before marriage?
contents ౨ৎ ⋆ touya todoroki x fem reader. fluff. cursing. slightly suggestive. ⭑ your fiancé and you get a little too into playing house when you’re supposed to be furniture shopping for your new apartment.
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“you’re home early.” touya smirks. an apron you’re ninety-nine percent sure he stole from the aisle showcasing the ovens with ‘i cook as good as i look’ printed on it is tied around his waist.
“i’m home!” you say cheerfully, playing along with him. 
you take a moment to study “your” kitchen and droop in disappointment. 
it was a bit too dim for your liking, the lighting.
there’s no way you could read the recipe books rei had gifted you without touya having to stand there and hold a flashlight while you did.
but the deep forest green accented cabinets, reaching all the way to the ceiling, were beautiful.
perfect for storing fuyumi’s leftover snacks that her students gifted her yesterday.
she had complained to you over the phone about how there was no space at home since all the cupboards were full of soba noodles, courtesy of your fiancé and little brother-in-law.
touya nervously watches, until he sees as you visibly brighten up, and he lets a little huff out, half in pride, half in relief. 
he knew his pick couldn’t be that bad.
then you spot the fake plant hanging from overhead, and grimace as you see a cluster of even more potted plants under it near the toaster. 
cute in theory, but definitely a fire hazard.
touya notices the little way your eyebrows furrow with doubt, and casually leans against the edge of the sink to distract you from making any more keen observations. 
you giggle at the way he almost knocks off the price tag on it in the process, too busy staring at you to bother noticing. 
“how was work?” your favorite fire hazard asks, reaching out a hand to gently brush a stray lash you didn’t notice from your cheek. 
your face always feels hotter than usual when touya pulls away, even after all this time.
“ugh, so exhausting,” you fan yourself a bit, let out an exaggerated sigh. “the printer blew up and got toner all over my clothes, can you believe it?”
“aw.” there’s a playful sparkle in his eyes as touya innocently frowns in sugary sweet sympathy. “want me to run a bath for you later?”
you can feel your cheeks start to burn. you just took one with him yesterday!
but of course you find yourself stuttering out, “oh, um sure.” 
the memory of his fingers softly massaging your scalp as he helped you wash your hair. the gentlest of touches on your skin as he lathered you in suds, pressing a kiss to your forehead between rinses flood back to you. 
you remember trying to wash his hair one time, but he quickly stopped you by trapping you in his lap, insisting that he wanted to do yours first. like he does during every bath he runs for you when you stay over at the todoroki house.
and he would take just as good care of you, your heart knows, in your cozy new apartment that was waiting for you back in shizuoka too. 
not too far from home, so that everyone could still visit, but not too close either, so the both of you had your own space.
touya grins as a shy expression suddenly crosses over your face, knowing exactly what you’re thinking about. 
with amusement, he watches as you reach over to set your purse on the white marble counter. 
a pair of strong hands claim their usual spot on your waist, holding you in place, and then you’re pulled away until your back bumps against a familiar, firm chest.
“uh-uh, mrs. todoroki.” he murmurs softly in your ear. “i just cleaned that for you before you got home.”
your breath catches. mrs. todoroki?  
“my bad,” is all you can manage to squeak out.
his nose tickles your cheek in response and you giggle at the feeling of his piercings, cold and soothing against your warm skin.
“so. what do you want for dinner today?” touya says, leaning over you to open the fridge. he scans its empty contents with a face so serious that you have to bite back a laugh. 
“what do we have?”
“stale air—i mean,” touya coughs. “uh, salad.”
“that’s it? just salad?” you point an accusatory finger at him, and he snorts at the way you force your eyebrows to scrunch together to make an angry face. so cute.
“oh, you think this is funny? take that apron off right now, you big phony.” 
“yes ma’am.” he laughs airily, reaching behind him to undo the tie when his hands stop. 
touya turns to you with a pout. “can you do it for me? my fingers hurt from cooking and cleaning all day.”
he makes it so hard to stay mad at him, even as a joke. 
you bite your lip to suppress the fond grin growing on your face, but it's too late, touya’s already seen it and he knows you’ll give into him soon enough.
“aw, my poor husband all alone in the house, cooking air and salad. it must’ve been so hard for you.”
he pouts even more. “it really was.”
the giggle you’ve been holding back finally spills from your mouth. he was ridiculous, and you loved him for it. “okay you big baby, i’ll untie it for you.” you move to stand behind him, hands reaching for the back of his waist to untie the neat bow he did for himself earlier.
“i think you mean your big strong husband.” touya leans his weight back into you. 
not enough to hurt you or make you fall, but just enough to give you a hard time undoing the knot of his apron. 
“sewing machine was acting up like crazy today, had to teach it some manners.”
“i’m sure you did.” you fight back another laugh, which turns into a whine as his broad back leans into your face even more. 
“touya stop it! do you want this apron off of you or not?”
you can practically hear him smirk from in front of you.
“i’m okay with anything as long as it keeps your hands on me.”
you step away from him and he lets out a ‘oof!’ as his back thuds against the hard floor of the ikea showroom, taking down a fake plant with him.
touya is donning a new apron when the two of you find yourselves outside of another kitchen showroom. 
“‘relax, i’ll feed you bitches.’ it read in bold. 
you giggle hysterically as he stands there, hands on his hips and looking way too proud of his find, as you snap a pic to send to the groupchat with his siblings.
i’d rather eat poison, natsuo texts back. 
his message is hearted by fuyumi and shoto a few moments later. 
a miffed touya reaches over your shoulder to steal your phone, which you easily let go of and surrender like usual with a laugh.
 his chin rests on your head, your back pressed to his chest as he perches his upper arms on your shoulders to text back. 
after he hits send with a satisfied smirk, the both of you walk onto the set.
the kitchen this time was one with a less colorful theme, yet you hear a sharp intake of breath from touya and you feel your own breath catch in your throat.
the tall windows and generous lighting more than made up for it. 
framed paintings of cranes were hung on the slate gray wall behind the dining table, and the refrigerator was much, much larger than the one you saw touya open before.
familiar indigo petals catch your eye. there was a beautiful painting of rindou flowers next to the window in the kitchen, and you can’t help but stare.
“mom would love those.” touya murmurs from beside you. your fingers lace through his as you smile softly in agreement. 
“she would.”
still in the second showroom, touya’s rummaging inside the cabinets while you study the spice rack. 
imagine all the goodies you could fit in there, from sesame seeds to shichimi togarashi.
you drool thinking about all the miso soups and sweet potatoes you could put them on when he suddenly turns to you.
“i’ve been working on my cocktails while you were at work, by the way.” touya grins, handing you an empty, plastic wine glass from where you’re perched on the granite countertop. “wanna try?”
you raise it to your lips and take a delicate sip of nothing. 
“oh yum! what’d you put in it?”
“kale juice.” he snickers behind his hand. “your favorite.”
you make a disgusted face. “well that’d explain the kick to it.”
“right? i really, really think fuyumi and natsuo would like it.”
“touya todoroki, don’t you dare.”
“hey.” he raises both hands in innocence. “a little kale never hurt anyone.”
“you say that but you hate kale.”
“a little kale never hurt anyone unless it’s me.”
you roll your eyes and wrap your arms around his neck. touya’s hands smoothly guide your legs to hug his waist, bringing you closer to him from where you’re sitting on the counter. he stays standing, towering over you. 
“can’t believe i’m marrying a hypocrite.” your voice is muffled against his shoulder, and he laughs.
suddenly, you gasp and point at the sink. “touya!”
his eyes widen at your raised voice, instinctively looking behind him for bugs to kill because that’s the only time your tone would sound that alarmed.
touya hugs you closer to him protectively. 
you can’t help but melt as his arms wrap even tighter around you, his serious turquoise eyes still scanning around the kitchen for any threats to you.
no bugs. 
no tacky “live, laugh, love”-esque sayings framed on the wall.
which he knows is your biggest interior design pet peeve after binging an insane amount of those house flipping shows with you.
“...what is it?” touya finally asks after a moment of hesitation. 
you giggle at the ticklish feeling of the cold silver of his lip piercing brushing against your forehead as he speaks.
“the dishes aren’t in alphabetical order!”
touya breathes a sigh of relief, then laughs into your neck. 
he pulls away to roll his eyes at you. “you nearly gave me a fucking heart attack!”
“what, why?” you laugh, fluttering your lashes at him. so utterly adorable, that he resists the urge to bite you.
touya fights back a blush and averts his eyes from your face, remembering his protective actions. they had been purely instinctive. he reaches up to cover his face with one hand.
“touuu!” you can’t help but laugh harder, reaching up to pry his fingers away from his face. “come on, look at me!”
touya shyly slides his gaze back to you, and lets you take his hand away from his face. 
you lace your fingers through his and lean in to give him a sweet kiss on the lips, which only makes him blush even harder. the chill of the ikea air conditioning did nothing to help.
his eyes trail in the direction of the spice rack you were dreamily looking at earlier.
“why is this crooked?” he frowns, reaching behind you to straighten it.
“pfft is it bothering you?” you take a glance at it. looked okay enough to you.
“yeah it is.” touya’s hands are on the shelf, trying to readjust it into the right position when suddenly—
snap!
the both of your eyes widen at the sound. 
the shelf was upright and more centered than before. 
except now it had a clean split down the middle of it.
of course, touya chooses to focus on the most important part.
“well at least it looks better now.”
and all he can think about as you laugh into his shoulder is that he can’t wait to stand hip to hip with you in your actual kitchen. 
sunshine peeking through the curtains as the two of you make soups, bake each other’s favorite pastries, and indulge in your random middle of the night cravings.
from now until forever.
after lunch in the restaurant, touya adds ikea meatballs to his list of favorite foods. 
you’re pretty sure that’s only because you fed them to him. 
because while you adore him to pieces, he is an unbelievably picky eater, much to fuyumi’s chagrin. 
luckily, he’ll eat anything as long as you’re the one giving it to him.
your sister-in-law thanks you for her lack of headaches when she makes dinner.
in the third kitchen showroom of today, you squint out the window behind the sink.
“i don’t know if i like it.”
“don’t know if you like what?” touya’s still washing his hand in the imaginary water under the faucet that’s clearly never going to start running. his silly self has been there for the past five minutes, at least. 
you hold back a laugh at how meticulous he is about it.
“the view.” 
he looks up and snorts at the wistful gaze you throw out the obviously fake window. 
it had a picture of city scenery taped on the wall outside of it, and the circular shape of a familiar building catches his eye. he recognizes it.
the meguro sky garden in tokyo.
the first place he ever took you out on a date to.
with a fond twitch of his lips, he remembers the way he almost tripped over his feet under the cherry blossom trees when you had suddenly pecked him on the cheek. all those years ago.
touya turns the faucet off, and comes up behind you to lean his head on your shoulder as he wraps his arms around your waist. his eyes soften as you nuzzle against his chin. 
he knows that you know he can’t feel any sensations there anymore. 
but god, does touya love that you still touch him in the places where he can’t feel. 
the way you litter soft kisses under his eyes, stroke his forearms as you guide them to your waist. like they’re still a part of him, like he’s not broken.
like he’s always been whole to you, never any less. 
“but sweetheart,” touya muses. “think about how close it's close to the best schools.”
your face heats up as you realize what he’s talking about. like you haven’t thought about it a million times before.
a kid. with him.
his and your kid.
as if the universe read your mind, a very chubby baby being pushed in a cart passes by the opposite side of the window, covering the picture of tokyo’s scenery.
and it stares at touya and you with the judgiest look you’ve ever seen in your life.
the two of you glance sideways at each other and burst out laughing. 
“nevermind,” you giggle, feeling small and safe tucked in his strong arms. “maybe the view isn’t so bad.”
looking softly down at you, the beautiful color of your eyes meets his, and his heartbeat quickens.
touya can’t help but agree.
a familiar weight softly rests on your shoulder when you groggily open your eyes, and your fiancé is close to follow as he stirs beside you.
you flip around to face him from where he was spooning you, giggling at the little trail of drool coming from the corner of his mouth as you watch his eyes flutter open.
you feel your breath catch in your throat as you gaze upon him.
his hair is starlight in the morning.
touya, still half-asleep, snuggles against you, completely drunk on your warmth. the soft feeling of your skin against his. 
he doesn’t even try to resist it.
the little giddy smile that tugs at his lips whenever the cool feeling silver of your sapphire embedded ring sparkles under the sunlight pooling through the curtains of your shared bedroom as he laces his fingers through yours.
his own ring softly clinking against the one he gave you.
after moving into the privacy of the apartment, with no prying eyes or nosy siblings randomly bursting into his room, touya loves to sleep with his lips just barely grazing your neck.
whenever you wake up from a  nightmare, he’s already kissing the nape of it, the protective hand he has on your hip smoothing circles into your bare skin.
when he wakes from his, you’re already quietly cradling him in your arms, running your hands through his midnight black hair. 
you really have no idea how hard you make it for him to get up.
but the idea of seeing you happily smile because of him is what gives him the final push to wriggle out of your embrace, and the adorable little pout you give him  almost breaks his heart.
“where you going, tou?”
he grins cheekily, placing a finger on his lips. “it’s a secret.”
there's a grumble from you in response and he smooths the crinkle between your furrowed brows with a gentle kiss.
“i’'ll be back soon, i promise.”
“you better or i’m eating your last pocky.”
he laughs at your threat, as if he wouldn’t give it up to you the moment you asked.
at the sight of your eyes already starting to droop, touya presses another kiss to your forehead. “go back to sleep, sweetheart.”
“no.” you pout as his socks pad against the floor when he leaves the room with another laugh. 
huddled up in your floral patterned blankets, you drink in the faint scent of sweet cologne that lingers on them. 
it still smells like him. warm like him, too.
there’s an old photo of touya framed on your nightstand. you love to look at when you fold his and your clothes. 
rei had slipped it out of the family album for you to keep the moment she saw how much you liked it. 
it’s the one where he’s holding a baby shoto like a football in his arms. there’s an easy grin on his face.
you look at it for a little longer, letting a sleepy, content smile spread across your lips. 
until five more minutes pass, and you’re starting to feel impatient.
“shoto!” you call out the doorway in the direction of the guest room you set up for him the day before he came to visit. “what’s your brother doing?”
“cooking.” comes shoto’s soft voice floating down the hallway.
and that’s all it takes for you to get up and rush to the kitchen at lightning speed.
thankfully, the fire alarm hasn’t gone off yet by the time you get there. 
you find touya slicing peaches on the counter, in front of the painting of rindou flowers. there’s a plate of neatly assorted fruit next to him, and your eyes widen as you admire the rose-shaped strawberries. how’d he do that?
“hey.” touya’s eyes narrow playfully when he notices you, putting down the knife. “you’re supposed to be in bed.”
you place your hands on your hips. 
“and you’re supposed to not be burning our new apartment down.” 
throwing a cautious glance at the unmanned pancakes sizzling in the pan beside you, you add on. “with your little brother in it.”
he breathes a laugh and saunters over where you’re standing by the fridge, cornering you to the counter. 
your fiancé grins at your stammers when he leans closer. he can practically feel the heat from your cheeks from here, and touya thinks the tiny house plant overhead grows an inch taller from the sheer warmth you’re radiating.
“stove’s off, sweetheart. they’re not gonna burn.”
“o-oh.” you sigh in relief.
“you worry too much.” touya murmurs softly as holds you in place by the waist to hold up a spoonful of blueberries he forgot to add to the batter. 
your lips reluctantly part to let him feed you, and his heart skips a beat at the hint of a smile on your face.
“mmph!”
suddenly, touya’s lips are on yours and you taste the sweet tartness of the peach he must’ve had before you came over. 
the cold piercing of his tongue teases your mouth and he corners you even further against the cool marble of the counter to make out, just as you hear a pot start to boil and your eyes snap open. 
you’re breathless as you muster all your willpower and break away from him.
“touya, the pot!” 
“oops.” he glances at it, still caging you against the counter with his arms. 
“forgot about that.”
“found your necklace that fell behind the bed last week.” touya says later after breakfast. you’re both sitting on cushions fuyumi and natsuo gifted you at the coffee table in front of the tv, watching ponyo as sunlight seeps into the living room.
it swings it back and forth on his finger and your eyes widen in relief.
“i was looking everywhere for that to wear to shoto’s class party!” 
“i know.” he grins, and you sigh as he presses a soft kiss to your neck. of course he did. 
touya reaches around your neck to securely clasp the back of the necklace’s chain, a smirk tugging at his lips.
“i think i deserve a little reward.”
you giggle, he was so cute.
“thanks touya.” you say, pressing a kiss to his cheek, and he pouts.
“not there.” 
“where then?” you smooth your hands against his bedhead and he almost whines when this time, you press a kiss to his forehead. “here?” 
always such a tease, and he adores you for it. 
touya looks like a desperate puppy as he huffs, nudging your nose with his. 
like you didn’t spoil him with kisses yesterday when he fixed the washing machine that was acting up.
you’re still not totally sure how he did it, but that was probably because you zoned out while he was explaining it to you. 
too busy watching the way his forearms flexed as he fixed the pipes behind it and when he’d take whatever wrench or screwdriver he asked you to hand him from the toolbox.
finally, finally your lips find his and you kiss him, soft and sweet.
a cool breeze blows through the open window, and the both of you breathe it in, smelling dewdrops on grass from the rain last night and hints of sunshine. 
touya smiles against your mouth, arms pulling you into his lap so he can taste you better.
you’re stuck with him. 
from now until forever.
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“or maybe home is just two arms wrapped around you when you’re at your worst.”
— danagray
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wolfchans · 8 months ago
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marril96 · 8 months ago
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Just as Promised
Pairing: Agatha Harkness x Reader
Summary: Agatha saving your life leads to a heart-to-heart.
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A split second was all it took for your entire world to crumble down like a house of cards.
You and Agatha usually got along fine, but today, tensions were through the roof since the moment you opened your eyes.
You were sick of the cat and mouse games, sick of longing stares that led to nothing and comforting hands on shoulders and bodies brushing against one another, convenient accidents that were anything but.
You demanded an answer: did she want to be with you or not?
You weren't opposed to staying friends; having her in your life, even as a casual acquaintance, would have been more than enough. But you needed her to say it. If she didn't want to take whatever it was the two of you had going on further, so be it. All she needed to do was speak up.
Agatha being Agatha, she kept giving vague answers that eventually became jokes, until she straight up refused to speak at all. Furious, you started screaming at her. She retorted with sarcasm, which only made you angrier.
Today, of all days, being your trial didn't help matters.
You were distracted, unable to concentrate. Even with the help of the rest of the coven, your mind kept straying to Agatha and your undefined relationship. Her snippy comments didn't help the situation; if anything, they made it worse.
Alice, ever the peacemaker, kept trying to get the two of you to knock it off. Unsuccessfully so, for it was hard to lower the tensions when one side seemed intent on raising them by any means necessary.
Thankfully, you managed to find enough willpower to push through and successfully complete the trial.
The door of the house you were locked in opened.
And then the furniture and cutlery and various appliances started rattling and flying about as if they had a mind of their own. As if it wanted you and the coven out as soon as possible, or there would be hell to pay for overstaying your welcome.
Everyone rushed out, avoiding chairs and knives and random junk, hands covering their heads in protection.
You followed in kind, yelping as your foot got caught on a toaster and you fell down like a sack of potatoes. Shit. It was just your luck to trip and fall at the most inconvenient time.
What was next? Was an anvil going to drop on your head?
The thought hadn't fully left your head before you heard Agatha screaming your name. She shoved you, hard, to the left; it was going to leave a mark hours from now.
You didn't have time to process what had just happened when a chandelier smashed to the ground, right at the spot you'd occupied just a second before.
Right at the spot where Agatha now stood.
"No!" you screamed, stomach twisting into knots, heart soaring, booming in your chest like a bomb.
As if a switch inside of you had flipped, none of what had happened earlier mattered anymore. Agatha's refusal to tell you what she wanted, if she wanted you. Her constant snide remarks. The roll of her eyes and the mockery in her tone.
She could have slaughtered someone in front of you, and it wouldn't have mattered. You would have forgiven her.
So long as she was okay.
"Agatha!" you yelled, frantic. "Help! Help!"
Don't die, you pleaded. Begged. Demanded. Please, don't die. Please. You couldn't lose her now, just as the two of you had reconnected after years of being apart. You needed her in your life. You couldn't imagine your life without her.
Alice and Teen ran up to you, having heard your pleas amidst the ruckus of flying furniture and trash. It took a few tries, but, with joint effort and a little bit of magic, you managed to push the chandelier off Agatha.
She was on the ground, seemingly unharmed. Unconscious, but alive. Relief flooded you as you felt the pulse on her neck. She was okay. She was going to be okay.
The three of you held her up and got her out. You bared your magic, eyes glowing as you willed the flying items away from you. Sparks enveloping your hands as you blasted them away.
It was over. Finally, you could put the nightmare of your trial and that weird house behind.
Then the realization that Agatha wasn't waking up set in and you were back where you started; nervous, terrified, shaking like a leaf in fall wind.
It took some pleading and begging for Jen to agree to make a potion — much alike to the one she'd made for Teen when he'd gotten impaled by glass, with slight changes for, unlike his, Agatha's injuries were internal. Internal bleeding, concussion, something else, all of the above; you didn't know what was wrong, couldn't possibly make a guess, but you owed it to her to fix it.
The only reason she was in this predicament was that she was protecting you.
Once the potion was done, and, with help, ingested, you and the others found a comfortable, quiet spot for Agatha to rest. Her head was on your lap, her coat spread over her like a blanket, one of your hands gently stroking her head while the other held onto her hand. It was strange to see her so vulnerable, so fragile. As if one wrong move would break her. And to think it was all because of you…
Jen could accuse her of having no humanity all she wanted. Agatha had a soul. She had a heart. She cared. She loved. She felt. No different than anyone else. Just because she hid her true self better didn't mean she was heartless.
She was just scared.
From all she's told you of her life, starting from her early childhood, she had every right to be.
"She saved you," Teen said. The others had left to make a fire; he wanted to stick around.
"She did," you said. "She's saved me many times."
He nodded in acknowledgment. "People are saying all kinds of things about her."
"Don't believe everything you hear." Especially about Agatha. People loved making up stories about her. The worse the slander, the juicier the gossip.
"Can you tell me, then? The truth."
"It's not mine to tell "
You'd asked her once why she allowed people to say horrid things about her. Her response was pretty much, "Let them talk." It wasn't worth it to get worked up over it. Rumors would spread either way. She knew the truth, and so did you. That was all that mattered to her.
She didn't want you to get involved.
So, you didn't.
Her secrets were hers to reveal.
"I can tell you one thing," you said. "She isn't the monster they make her out to be. Don't get me wrong, she's far from an angel, but she's no monster, either. Keep that in mind the next time you hear some wild story."
To his credit, the kid took in every word. "I will."
The two of you sat in silence for a while, until he stood up to join the rest of the coven around the fire. "Take care of her."
"Of course."
It was a given, after everything she's done for you over the centuries.
After she'd pushed you out of the way and saved your life at the cost of her own.
The arguments the two of you had had throughout the day seemed silly now. Ridiculous. Completely and utterly unnecessary. What did it matter how your relationship was defined? She cared about you. She almost died for you. In her own wordless way, she loved you.
In the grand scheme of things, romance didn't matter.
Life wasn't a genie. There was no lamp to rub, no wishes to yell at the top of your lungs. You didn't always get what you wanted. 
It would do you good to be happy with what you had.
A living friend was better than a dead lover.
Silence engulfed you like a blanket. You tuned out the cracking of the fire, the jokes and laughter of your coven. Useless background noise you neither had the strength nor willpower to entertain. Leaned against a tree, your eyes were on Agatha, safe and warm in your lap. She looked so peaceful. As if she were in deep slumber instead of rid of consciousness.
You should have been there when she'd gone up against Wanda Maximoff. You should have had her back. If you'd helped her, fought with her, maybe she wouldn't have been forced to lose three years of her life to a mind control spell.
She wouldn't have lost three years of her life to torture.
Because that was what that was. Wanda could have just let her be. She was powerless. She couldn't hurt anyone. Locking her inside her mind was cruelty for the sake of being cruel.
Why hadn't she asked you to go with her? Why hadn't she told you what she was planning?
Would it have done her any good?
You were with her now, and she'd almost died.
You'd let her down.
You would have let her down back then, too.
Tears pricked at your eyes like needles. Maybe that was why she didn't give you straight answers when you demanded she make a choice about your relationship. You were a sucky witch. Even now, sucked dry, powerless, Agatha was more powerful than you.
She'd been with Death herself, for fuck's sake. The woman had a type, and it wasn't lowly witches like you.
She was trying to let you down gently.
Tenderly, you stroked her hair and rubbed her shoulder. It's okay, you thought. I'm not mad. Reality was a bitch. That was just a fact. There was no use getting worked up over it. You would never reach the power level of someone like Rio. She liked them big and bad, and you were neither. You would always be neither.
You would always be a friend. Nothing less, and nothing more.
Agatha stirring shook you from your thoughts. A small moan escaped her mouth, one of pain, discomfort. She blinked, once, twice, three times, before her eyes settled on yours up above.
You smiled. "Hey, you. Welcome back."
"What happened?"
"You got crushed by a chandelier."
"Oh. Right." She sighed, nonchalant. As if that sort of thing happened every day.
"You probably shouldn't move much. Jen said it'll take a few hours for the potion to heal everything up."
Agatha grunted as she shifted to a more comfortable position. "That's just peachy."
A pang of guilt twisted in your heart. "Sorry."
"Don't be. It's not your fault."
Wasn't it? "It is, though. You saved me."
Agatha groaned. "Oh, don't get all sappy. It's a bad look."
For whom? For you, or for her?
Only one of you had a reputation to uphold.
"Thank you."
"Yeah, yeah."
"Agatha, I'm serious. You saved my life."
"Consider it tit for tat, toots."
That was how the two of you had first met a couple centuries ago. You were hunting a witch hunter, and he was hunting her. You'd gotten to him just as he was about to put a bullet in her brain — from behind, covertly, of course, for hunters were nothing if not cowards.
Agatha was intrigued by your tenacity to make the predator into prey.
You were enthralled by her presence, itself.
She'd matched your freak, and you'd matched hers.
The rest was history.
You couldn't hold back a laugh. Expect her to crack jokes at most inconvenient times. Agatha laughed along, but her face instantly twisted and a hiss burst from her mouth.
"Hey, hey. Be careful," you told her. 
"This is a drag," she said, frustrated. She hated being helpless. As if losing her power wasn't enough; now she could barely move without being in pain.
"Want me to move? Maybe you'll be more comfortable on the ground," you said.
"No," Agatha said before the final word was out of your mouth. "Stay. I'm good like this."
"Okay."
Whatever she wanted, she would get. You owed her that much after she'd saved your life. If that meant holding back the need to pee for hours so she could rest her head on your lap, so be it.
You were a grownass woman. You could do this.
"Sorry for being such a bitch today," you said. "It wasn't fair to put you on the spot like that."
Pressuring her into something she clearly wasn't comfortable with was wrong. If she wanted to be more than friends, she would've told you. She had a mouth, and she wasn't afraid to use it.
She was trying to let you down gently, and you'd escalated the situation.
Agatha sighed. "I was hoping that particular topic wouldn't come up."
"I'm sorry," you said, and you meant it. "I just thought we could talk about it now that we're alone."
"Thought you'd take advantage of me being unable to leave?"
You weren't sure how to read her tone. Your cheeks burned. "N-No, of course not. I-I just—"
"Relax, honey." She grinned. "I'm just pulling your leg."
You let out a breath of the kind of relief you'd never experienced before. Gritting your teeth, you slid an arm down Agatha's body and gently put pressure on her side.
A yelp much like that of a wounded puppy escaped her mouth.
You smirked. "That's what you get for being mean."
"Are you seriously gonna torture me when I can't even defend myself?"
No. You weren't Wanda.
"Totally. It's my entire goal in life," you snarked. Then, voice softening, "Did I hurt you bad?"
"You do know I'm not made of glass, right?"
"Just checking. You did get hurt because of me, after all." And you would never forget it. If, for no other reason, than to remind people that she wasn't the heartless bitch they all thought of her as.
"That's one way of putting it," Agatha said.
The other being that she had made a conscious choice to push you out of the way of that chandelier. She'd made a choice to get hurt.
She'd made a choice to protect you at the cost of herself.
"I really am sorry," you told her. "For everything. I'm happy with the way things are between us. Nothing needs to change."
Agatha sighed. "Y/N…"
"It's fine. Really." A tear slid down your cheek. You wiped it away like a speck of dust marring a spotless surface. Another followed suit, dripping onto Agatha's forehead.
She looked up, then, a painted grimace contorting her face, she moved sideways, just enough so her eyes could connect with yours and her hands could cup your cheeks from below. Her touch was tender, comforting; you leaned into it, closing your eyes for a moment to savor it, to bask in the sensation.
"You are, by far, one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me," she said with such intent, such fervor that could come from nothing but the absolute truth.
Your heart sped up, a marathon that was well on its way to kill you.
Were your ears fooling you? Did she really just say that?
Did she…?
She did.
Her eyes all but confirmed the words you couldn't believe had come out of her mouth.
Agatha Harkness didn't speak like that. She never said things like that, especially not to you.
It wasn't possible. It couldn't be.
Yet, somehow, it was. It could.
You took in a large breath to steady yourself. Don't freak out, you were telling yourself. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. This was a serious conversation. You couldn't afford to ruin it with childish antics. Goddamn it, Agatha!
Why did she have to spring it on you like that, as if it was the most casual thing in the world? As if speaking to you like that was an everyday occurrence.
In your daydreams, absolutely. In real life? You might as well have been dreaming.
Clearing your throat, in your most totally-not-falling-apart tone, you asked, "Why the runaround, then?"
A sad smile flickered on Agatha's mouth. A wordless admittance of defeat before the battle had even started. "I ruin everything I touch."
"That's not true!" You didn't let Jen talk shit about her in your presence, and you sure as hell weren't going to let her do that, either. 
"Yes, it is," she insisted, relentless. Dead set on putting herself down, denying herself what she deserved for that was what everyone had done her entire life. "And I refuse to ruin you."
You, on the other hand, refused to let her ruin this. You refused to let her ruin the potential of something beautiful.
"Dunno if you've noticed, but I'm pretty much ruined all on my own." You'd killed, too. You'd ruined lives, manipulated, destroyed just as she had. She wasn't special.
And even if you were pure, if you were to turn back time and make your ledger white and untainted like it used to be, once upon a time, you would happily let her paint it red.
You would let her ruin you all over again.
Agatha was silent for a moment. Then, in her weakest, most vulnerable tone, she uttered, "You're still alive."
Her son. Taken from her too soon. Gone in the night without a goodbye. Destined to die before he'd even taken his first death. Living on borrowed time until it had expired just as suddenly as it had been gifted.
A fresh batch of tears poured from your eyes, spilling over her fingers. "Don't do that. Don't go there."
Agatha's eyes sparkled with tears of her own. "How can I not?"
"I won't leave you," you said, and you meant it. You meant every word, and more. "I won't die. Not anytime soon."
"You can't promise that."
"I can promise I'll do my best to try. Why is that not enough?"
You couldn't promise her forever — there was no such thing — but what you could promise was as close to that as was possible. Home. Shelter. Warmth. All in the shape of you. She would never have to be alone again. Centuries of not just friendship, but a partnership. Even closer than you were now.
All you needed was her permission.
All you needed was a yes.
"I can't lose yet another person I…"
Love.
Though she would never say it out loud, especially not around other people.
"Agatha," you said softly. Warmly. Lovingly. "I'm not going anywhere. That's one of the few things I can promise you. No matter what happens, I won't leave you, and I won't hurt you. Ever."
You never have, and you never would. You loved her too much to cause her harm. You cared about her too much to allow for anything of the sort to happen.
"We don't have to be together. I'm not trying to force you into anything you aren't comfortable with," you continued. "I just don't think it's fair that you're denying yourself good things in life based on a what if. You deserve for good things to happen to you. You deserve to be happy again."
It didn't have to be with you. She could look for happiness wherever she wanted. But she deserved it. You would be damned if you allowed her to take it away from herself.
Agatha gave a chuckle; a sad, broken one. "You're the only one who thinks so."
"Since when do you care what people think?"
She allowed them to think she murdered her own son, that she had traded him for a book of dark magic. She allowed them to think her heartless. Cruel. A monster. She allowed them to think the worst, and had never said a word to correct them. Had banned you from setting the record straight.
Why did it matter if they didn't think she deserved to be happy?
They were nothing.
She was everything.
"I don't," she agreed. "I care about what you think."
She took hold of one of your hands and brought it down to her mouth. Her lips pressed to your fingers, a soft, tender kiss that sent electric sparks through your entire body. Your eyes fell closed for a moment. You were lost in this little gesture; you could get lost in it forever.
Her lips were a welcome presence everywhere, on every part of your body. Whichever part of you she wanted to claim, she could. You were hers in any way she desired, spoils of a war you never fought. You surrendered willingly.
"Don't say that just because you think that's what I wanna hear," you said, just in case. Still in disbelief that this was happening, that she was so vulnerable, so exposed with you. That she wasn't scared that you were going to hurt her, or turn your back on her.
Agatha frowned. "When have you ever known me to do that?"
Fair point.
You smiled. "Just making sure."
"If I wasn't injured, I would kiss you silly for being such an idiot."
Your cheeks burned. "Is that a promise?"
"It's a threat," she clarified with a smirk.
"I hope you intend to make good on it."
"Oh, honey, I do. Trust me."
"I'm holding you to it."
"Have I ever lied to you?"
You pondered on it. "Well, there was that time back in—"
Agatha smacked your hand, prompting both of you to laugh.
"You're my pet now," she said.
You raised an eyebrow. "Pet? Really?"
"What? Did you have something else in mind?" she said with feigned ignorance, mouth pulled into a mocking pout.
"Well, I was thinking something more… equal." But you would take pet.
Pet was fine.
She pretended to think about it. "I suppose I could upgrade you to a girlfriend."
Girlfriend.
Your heart was in shambles. You, all of you, were in shambles. A wooden house barely holding itself together after a hurricane had passed through it, destroying everything in its path. One wrong move, or breath, or thought, and you would crumble 
Girlfriend.
You repeated the word in your head, again and again, Agatha's voice an echo in the vast hallway that was your mind.
Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend.
This was real. It wasn't a hallucination, or a dream, or a cruel prank.
After a long, hard day of hissy fits and arguments, Agatha had finally told you what she wanted.
And it was you.
"I-I like that," you muttered, too stunned to say much else. Gods knew you wanted to say a lot, much more than your mouth could currently handle.
Agatha smirked, ever the tease. "You do, don't you?"
"Mmhm." You took her hands in yours and laid a kiss — two, three — to her knuckles, just as she had to yours. "Hurry up getting better. I want that threat-kiss."
"Oh, honey, you won't know what hit you."
"I better not."
"Are you doubting me?"
Never. "Just building anticipation."
Agatha licked her lips. "In that case, keep it up."
So, you did.
And, a couple hours later, she kissed you as if both your lives depended on it. As if you would die if your mouths were ever to part.
Just as promised.
*****
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