#strighym queue

[noamuth]

Dalamus either pulls away immediately and pointedly, pushes them away, or breaks their hold. There is typically no mistaking whether someone has crossed a line--they will know, unless he is preoccupied.

If it is a personal space violation that he is not entirely opposed to and willing to allow despite his discomfort, he stiffens and might watch the person or their hands for potential attack or deceit.

It takes repeated uncomfortable attempts before he will know someone is safe to be so close, and eventually he will stop pulling away or flinching.

What happens when someone violates your OC's personal space?

[noamuth]

Dalamus undoubtedly has Complex PTSD from living under Lolthite rule in Menzoberranzan for 200 years, even if he "willingly" took part in it and still praises it. By being exiled, he has been forcibly removed from his death cult, and will have a lot of religious trauma to heal from once he stops trying to return to it.

This comes with abnormally high anxiety and paranoia, which he of course believes to be not only normal but helpful--which, it might have been appropriate in Menzoberranzan, but is incredibly out of proportion on the Surface. Even as he heals, he has difficulty with decision making, critical thinking, knowing what is right and wrong, things previously dictated by the cult think, and often overestimates the danger of making mistakes because they used to be punished so severely.

Repeated usage of Enchantment/Charming magic on him over 10 years by a Matron has also left his memories of her treatment of him a bit fuzzy and skewed in places, making him view her more favorably in certain moments.

What mental conditions does your oc have?

[noamuth]

Definitely not.

One of my favorite themes when writing is.. not necessarily "redeeming evil"--although it's often seen that way--but more like Ending The Cycle Of Violence.

I am a huge believer in the fact that someone can be a perpetrator and victim at the same time, and that by helping them heal and become better, one prevents more violence in the future than simply punishing them would.

Most versions of Dalamus, including his BG3 verse, have had terrible home lives or upbringings which necessitated that they act in ways considered awful or even evil in order to survive, and were never taught or never learned another way. They continue to operate under this malformed idea of how the world works, of how they need to act to survive, until other people show them other ways to be and allow them to be that way.

Then they have to figure out how to live not only with the consequences of those actions, but how to live when their learned behaviors and coping mechanisms no longer match the environment they're in and will only end up hurting others. They are not forced to change out of fear of punishment, but rather are inspired to change in the hopes of keeping the acceptance and love of others who want to see them happy and healthy.

His "redemption" comes in the form of healing from his past to create a better future, opening himself up to friends and loved ones to help guide him along the way.

Is your oc beyond redemption?

[noamuth]

Dalamus has so far avoided having to worry about it by never getting so close to people that he would mourn their loss.

Well, aside from his older brother, Nilaufein, but his environment at the time of the loss was such that openly grieving was not safe, so he shoved the feelings down and belittled them instead.

When Dalamus starts letting himself get close to people, truly close, he does start borrowing grief from the future, knowing that his human loved ones especially will be gone in fewer years than it takes a drow child to reach social adulthood. In these moments he sometimes needs external reminders to live in the present.

How does your oc feel knowing they'll outlive the ones they love?

[noamuth]

Dalamus is fond of a rothé steak seasoned with funguswood, preferably cooked rare, topped with with browncap mushrooms sautéed with garlic and onions in butter. This is often served with sporebread and a cream sauce, or potatoes.

On the Surface, he is discovering his love for fruit (difficult to get fresh in Menzoberranzan because they can only be obtained through importation, sometimes making them prohibitively expensive depending on the time of year). Citrus is his favorite group, but sour apples are his top favorite fruit.

He also enjoys dried meats for a snack and will happily chew on a piece of jerky throughout the day.

What's your oc's favorite food?

[noamuth]

Street smarts are a necessity in Menzoberranzan if a drow (or anyone) wishes to survive long-term.

But he is book smart, as well. He is a successful businessman and enjoys reading. His only problem is that, on the Surface, the predominant language is one he speaks but cannot read.

Is your oc book smart or street smart?

[noamuth]

Dalamus fears birds. Creatures that fly above him make him very uncomfortable. A lot of the Underdark's more vicious ambush predators hide amongst stalactites and attack from above.

Dalamus fears being manipulated in the way his Matron, Nedvyllanna, did. He worries her repeated usage of Enchantment/Charming magic over a decade has eroded his resistance to it from others, and he does not like any magic that manipulates his mind (ex. Enchantment) or body (ex. Healing). His body and mind were not allowed to be his own if Nedvyllanna had use for them, and despite the fact that he would "let" her do it again, he hates it.

Dalamus fears he will never be "worth" anything again, but his measurement of his worth has been skewed by what he lost. After reaching the station of "Patron" and then being exiled, he erroneously and unfairly compares his current lot to what he considered his "peak". His measure of self-worth is tied to his feelings of usefulness and productivity, and compared to a station he will never achieve again, artificially depressing his perception of his current self.

Dalamus fears he will never gain the same notoriety with his jewelry business as he had before. Quite literally his life's work, turned on its head when he was exiled, even though he has not lost any of the skills.

Dalamus fears that he will earn Lolth's displeasure, disapproval and wrath. Even far into the future, he will have days where he thinks he is being watched, judged, and found guilty and worthy of punishment. But really she could not care less about him, a single drow now exiled from his homeland.

What does your oc fear?

[noamuth]

Being in the dark and quiet brings Dalamus comfort because it is one of the few times on the Surface where he has the advantage over at least some potential dangers.

He likes to count stars in the chill of the night air.

He likes the routine of polishing gemstones, and finds the familiar, repetitive movement soothing. He likes to sketch jewelry projects and ideas, environments, flora and fauna.

The camp group eventually become a circle of friends to him, rather than temporary allies, and he eventually, eventually, feels safer around them than on his own, knowing they would sooner protect him than betray him. Casual affection is something he struggles with for a while, but several camp members cautiously and respectfully help with that.

His eventual significant other, Gloria, is someone he can let the entirety of his guard down around, and really, truly rest with.

What brings your oc comfort?

[noamuth]

He likes to perform acts of service for a significant other. Otherwise, for both giving and receiving, it is, ironically, touch.

I say "ironically" because at the moment he tends to avoid touch, if not physically pull or flinch away from it entirely. Outside of lustful endeavors, touch meant allowing someone too close, either physically, emotionally, or both, and was to be swiftly corrected lest he be coerced, manipulated or weakened by, gods forbid, affection. His time as Patron of House Strighym only compounded this aversion, with his Matron using touch and affection manipulatively.

He is touch-starved and does not even know it, until he starts being treated gently, and then feels the craving.

He comes to cherish quality time the closer he gets to people.

What's your oc's love language?

[noamuth]

Dalamus' favorite smell is something he discovered recently: petrichor, the earthy smell after rain falls on dry soil.

What's your oc's favorite smell?

[noamuth]

Though he did not see the death first-hand, Dalamus never got over the death of his older brother, Nilaufein. Grieving is not something his family or culture really allowed, instead seeing it as weakness to be so attached to someone, so he stuffed the feelings down and chastised himself for feeling such a way. Nil was gone. He was here, now he is not, and that is that, grieving does nothing except broadcast one's weakness.

And yet, he got a tattoo of a rose on his neck. He says he got it because it is his favorite flower--the beautiful deep red petals combined with sharp thorns is a pleasing aesthetic--but he has never seen the flower, except in a book on Surface flora that Nilaufein showed him. He made fun of Nilaufein's fondness of the Riding Lizards he helped raise, and yet when Dalamus was adopted by the Strighym House, he was disappointed to find that the beastmaster was nothing like Nilaufein and hardly cared at all about the animals he was in charge of.

Nilaufein was someone he trusted more than he trusted most and, now on the Surface with endless questions, he finds himself wishing he still had his brother to ask. Even if he would never admit so. Nilaufein would know the answers.

What's a death your oc never got over?

[noamuth]

Dalamus was born in the Underdark, underground, and has lived there for 200 years. While it can get warm and humid, the temperature is fairly stable year-round and would be considered relatively cool by those who live on the Surface of Toril.

He has only recently been forced to the Surface. Unused to both the light and heat, he is highly susceptible to heat illness and, honestly, probably does not even know the signs or symptoms. This is compounded by his near-pathological refusal to ask for help or "display vulnerabilities".

Because sunlight physically burns his skin far more quickly than it does most people, he typically avoids being in direct sunlight if he can help it, either remaining in his tent, or staying in the shade while wearing his piwafwi cloak.

When the group can find fresh fruit like sunmelons or oranges, he indulges in them for some much needed hydration.

How does your oc cool themselves down on a hot sunny day?