#syfy PRICKS

[justsomeclintasha]

It happens quickly.

The movie is playing on the screen, a bad syfy flick with even worse acting. Natasha is laughing at the ridiculousness. There’s no way a spider could be that big.

Steve grabs another handful of popcorn. The hunter in the movie should have better aim. He shoots.

A flash of blue light illuminates the room.

Clint can’t breathe.

It’s Loki all over again, and he’s in his head, he’s going to kill her with his bare hands, he’s going to have to watch, he’s going to-

Something crashes. The coffee table?

A sharp pain shoots down his arm and he cries out, suddenly on the floor.

He can’t see.

“Fuck- no- no- Natasha!“

His eyes squeeze shut and he grips his hair so hard it hurts.

“Get her to safety!”

The voice that rips from his throat is loud and hoarse at the same time. Desperate and begging.

Strong arms wrap around him.

He can’t breathe.

Someone is speaking but his ears are a tunnel and everything is muted and swimming. He wants to scream. Maybe he does.

The hold tightens and he can’t get away. A sick sense of relief twinges in his gut. This is where he belongs. He can’t hurt her.

“Breathe, Clint. Come on.”

He tries, he really does. Sweat soaks his t-shirt. The heartbeat in his chest is hammering rapidly. It’s in his throat. Distantly, he wonders if he’s going to throw up.

“Natasha.”

“Breathe.” The voice is softer now and in front of him. Fingers cup his chin and he flinches instinctively, waiting for the hit that doesn’t come. He forces his eyes open.

“Nat?”

“Inhale.” Her hand moves over his heart to steady him. “Clint, you gotta slow down and breathe with me.” The person behind him loosens their grip. It’s Steve, he registers.

It takes him a long time to catch his breath. Finally, he eases away to sit alone, scrubbing a hand over his eyes. He’s surprised to find that his face is wet.

Everything hurts.

The muscles in his body are wound tight from stress and nausea pushes at his throat.

“I think-“

Before he can finish the sentence, the empty popcorn bowl is pressed into his hands. He heaves into it, fresh tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. Natasha takes it to the kitchen. He curls his knees to his chest and breathes slowly.

Steve is looking at him with pity and concern. He hates it. He should be stronger than this.

“It was the light,” he whispers. “The blue. I thought-“

“It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“None of that.” Her voice is gentle as she returns from the kitchen, exchanging a wordless look with Steve. “Come on. Bedtime.”

Clint doesn’t argue as he gets to his feet. The unsteady feeling lingers.

“Thanks for..”

His voice trails off, but the Captain just nods. Not knowing what else to say, he follows Natasha to their room. She lays down first. He strips his sweaty shirt and pulls on a clean one. He joins her in bed.

Without hesitation, she curls up behind him and wraps him in her arms. They don’t have to talk about it unless he wants to.

He’s so tired.

Her thumb traces patterns around his wrist, on the back of his hand, and he focuses on the motions.

It’s hard to keep his eyes open.

[robbyrobinson]

VILLAIN REVIEW: CHUCKY  FROM: CHILD’S PLAY SERIES Voiced/Portrayed by: Brad Dourif 

Biography

Born Charles Lee Ray, most of Chucky's life is unknown. There was a novelization of Child's Play 2 that went into the backstory claiming that Chucky's mother was bullied for her dwarfism and to make matters worse, Chucky had a horribly abusive prick of a father who was an abrasive alcoholic who took his rage out on him.

Chucky became a serial killer at that point and his mother was the first casualty. Though whether or not this is truly canon...I kind of lean no mostly because there is an upcoming series that will premiere on SYFY slated to be released in 2021. But from there, Chucky became known as the Lakeshore Strangler who may've killed a dozen by the time of the first film, or...maybe 22 according to Curse.

Sometime later in Curse of Chucky, it is revealed that Chucky fell in love with a woman named Sarah and slowly implemented himself into the family by luring her husband and drowning him. He then kidnapped Sarah and took her to an apartment complex. When he learned that she called the police on him, he stabbed her in the stomach, paralyzing her unborn daughter Nica.

At this point in time, Chucky had also met with John Aelsop Bishop to learn Voodooism as a means of cheating death. Apparently not sensing anything sinister with him, John agrees and becomes his teacher.

In the first film, Chucky is on the run from the police and detective Mike Norris until he attempts to hide in a toy store. While trying to get the drop on Norris, Chucky is fatally shot. Before he died, Chucky grabs a Good Guy Doll and does a chant that transfers his soul into the doll. From there, you know the rest: Andy's mother buys him a doll which happens to be our favorite homicidal maniac. He then tries to transfer his soul into Andy as a means of avoiding being trapped inside of the doll body.

Personality

He is the definition of a complete and total psychopath as evidenced by his violent tendencies and overly sadistic methods of killing people. Chucky at best can be described as a hedonistic serial killer who kills primarily to unwind. So much so, this can be considered an equivalent of a drug for Chucky. Ultimately, Chucky expresses immense pride for his killings viewing that as being his livelihood. In the early films, he also had a short-temper with even the slightest inconvenience being enough to tip him off the edge.

The series is a funny one because it was a tonal whiplash. The first three films, while having comedic elements, were nevertheless straight horror films. However, then came Bride and Seed wherein the films became more self-aware for all the wrong reasons. But the series returned to form with Curse and Cult.

Chucky had grown progressively worse throughout the series with nary a redeeming trait to his name. For one, he is a misogynist. At most, his relationship with Tiffany Valentine amounts to them having a shared love of killing. However, Chucky has no qualms with threatening to and/or killing Tiffany if she oversteps her boundaries. Then there's his relationship with Sarah. He claimed that he loved her...but stabbed her in the stomach when he realized that she snitched on him.

However despite his psychopathic behavior, Chucky is capable of being cunning and manipulative best shown when he first met Andy. He is fairly knowledgeable of Voodoo and in Cult, he learns how to divide his soul to possess more dolls.

Like other slasher villains like Freddy Krueger of Lubdan, Chucky is very talkative and possesses a wicked sense of humor that accentuates the kills. Though he might be the only one to my knowledge that has such a sailor's mouth.

Appearance

Wears a red, green, and blue striped shirt and blue overalls on which is the Good Guy Doll trademark. Chucky has blue eyes and red hair with freckles. As the series continued, Chucky would be given scars due to the many times he was destroyed and put back together.

Abilities

Has a wide array of tools and weapons in his arsenal his preferred ones being knives. Despite his small stature, Chucky can kill people three times bigger than him...though to be fair, that is often by catching them by surprise. But aside from that, he is fairly strong and can take a lot of abuse. He can plan out complex scenarios and traps to ensnare his victims. He is fully competent in terms of Voodooism having transferred his soul into the Good Guy Doll in the first film.

But what makes it for Chucky is the fact that he is practically immortal. While Chucky "dies" nearly in every movie, at best, this is an inconvenience to him meaning that Chucky cannot be permanently destroyed just slowed down for the time being.

In terms of weakness, Chucky is still able to be harmed which makes it especially bad for him because he had become anatomically human due to spending too much time in the doll's body. His Voodoo powers also have a limit: they are only applicable given the specific circumstance.

Verdict

8/10

[crabs-in-a-trench-coat]

Since I'm starting Ameriposting a bit early, gotta get this off my chest.

Whoever decided to play Freddy Kruger movies this year instead of the Twilight Zone marathon can kiss the fattest part of my ass.

[phillipjbenson]

PJB sells out and moves to Monaco

tagged by @psuedonom so uh, yuh.

Rules: answer 30 Questions, tag some peeps, yadda yadda

#following: 176

#followers: just hit 405, begone peasants

average hours of sleep a day: maybe 5 tops, I’ve never had much of a need for sleep, as much as I like it

lucky number: 26, don’t ask, shit’s just magic

instruments: I play a mean fuckin melodica

what are you wearing: sweats and an old work shirt with sleeves cut off

dream job: idk man, anything that pays good shit i’ll sell my soul for 6 figures

dream trip: definitely live my last years out in Newfie land to fuckin die

significant other: nah man, I’m a lon(s)er

birthday: 12/28

height: 6′

gender/pronouns: call me ishmael

other blogs: I’m the one and only baby

nicknames: Phil, PhillyB, Phillip Banks, whatever dumb shit peeps on discord call me

Star sign: Personally I think the Yield sign is great

time: right now

favorite bands: other than a few I can think of off the top of my head (RTJ, 2pac, etc.) I have no preference for music, it’s all pretty good

favorite artist: Hirohiko Araki, and if poetry is technically art, Jack Kerouac

favorite tumblr artist: everyone but the pricks who think they’re better cuz they draw curvy shit from calarts and fucking Anish Kapoor

song stuck in your head: Zealots of Stockholm by Childish Gambino

last movie you watched: In theaters, Coco. At home, Godfather part 2

last show you watched: Happy! on Syfy

why did you make your blog: self hatred I guess, I hate this hellsite

what do you post: shitposts

last thing you googled: lmg mounted and loaded

AO3: yeah I thought age of empires 3 was pretty good

do you ever get asks: yeah but mostly they’re prompted questions I can draw

how’d you get the idea for your url name: I thought about it and typed it

favorite food: Mom’s Rice and Peas. Literally no one on earth can replicate it, I’ve tried

last book you’ve read: I never learned how to read or type

Top 3 fictional places: the Warhammer 40k universe, the STRAFE universe, and idk let’s throw a curveball here Fullmetal Alchemist

I’m not gonna tag no one cuz whatever but if you want feel free to do this and tag me in it, i’d love to hear your responses

[pickingstars-blog1]

moffat gave a version of that quote in pretty much interview he did today but the best one was def on the syfy fan show thing (in which he confirmed he knew chris was planning on casting a woman but not who & that all the references in s10 to it were deliberate) where he said backlash was basically three guys who never left their house and "they're only frightened of a lady doctor because they've never met a lady before." you really get the sense he's enjoying this...

I’ve just seen that and it’s so glorious! 

All these people pretending that Steven Moffat is anti-female Doctor, all these people that have genuinely made multiple posts claiming Steven Moffat is fuming about Chris casting a woman, people who have seen the show, who have seen series 8 and 9 and 10. Without appearing completely rude to these people in question, how utterly deluded do you have to be, how much denial do you have to be in, to convince yourself that  Steven Moffat hates the idea of a female Doctor? W’hen you’ve seen the subtext, when you’ve seen the...text, when you’ve seen the now...many...statements Steven Moffat has passionately given about this.

I can’t wait to continue loving the heck of out Steven Moffat and everything he does, and I can’t wait to see the more mindless bunch of his critics continue to call him a sexist racist homophobic ableist prick, even when literally everything he’s done regarding Doctor Who in the past like three years has proved otherwise.  

x

[ex-shark-virtue-005]

I love watching Gundam 00, it’s one of my all-time favorite series, but it’s kinda bittersweet because it reminds me of a friend I no longer have (long story short I said a lot of awful things to her one day and she, understandably, turned her back on me. And I don’t blame her for that. I was kind of an insufferable prick back then....). 

She got me into the show when it aired in the US on Sci-fi (SyFy nowadays) so while I still enjoy watching Gundam 00, sometimes it brings up old scars. 

[staabiverse]

Free Chapters! Getcha Free Chapters Here!

Greetings. Today, instead of waxing philosophical or sharing knowledge, I'd like to shamelessly plug and offer some free chapters from my novels. All of this, AND a bonus script.

The titles are links for PDFs of the first five chapters of the novels. Feel free to open them in your browser, download, print, share...go sick! I also included links to the Amazon, iTunes and Barnes & Noble sites where the full versions of the books can be purchased, Vampire's Waltz and Heart of Ice, Blood of Fire are as low as 99 cents!

Vampire's Waltz-

Background-This is the first book I ever published, but it's the third one I wrote. I was 20 years old, working at a laundromat making three bucks an hour. This was back in 1991. I didn't have any schooling or professional experience as far as writing went. I just wanted to tell a story.

It isn't very polished, but I hope it's entertaining. If I had time I would do a whole "Director's Cut" of the bad boy, but time and tide wait for no one. I always thought this one would make a good anime, but, again, who has the time?

Summary-An earthquake and a freak storm isolate Manhattan. The survivors struggle against the elements and the supernatural force behind the weather. It soon becomes clear that not only are their lives at stake, but the lives of every human on the planet.

Samples-The first five chapters of Vampire's Waltz can be downloaded here. To purchase it, head over to Amazon, iTunes or Barnes & Noble and enjoy. We're also on Facebook.

Shadows Never Sleep-

Background-I wrote this one back when I was 18, but I went through and gutted it a few years ago. It's still raw in places, and a couple of characters in particular need work, but this is the story I'm closest to. It's a little sci-fi/horror blend I whipped up. I hope you'll find it to your liking.

Summary-Terrorist attacks in NY leave only three survivors, each unable to remember anything about their attackers. A detective investigating the case works to restore their memories, but it soon becomes clear that neither he, nor the terrorists, are what they appear to be.

Samples-A free pdf of the first five chapters can be found by Clicking or right-clicking to download here. Volume Two, Three and Four are available on Amazon, as well as The Complete Volume if you're feeling froggy. We're also on Facebook.

Heart of Ice, Blood of Fire-

Background-I wrote this one back in 1992, the germ of it began while working at a crap retail job back in NY. I was walking to work, wondering if the "me" of a parallel universe had it any easier. Especially that bastard who passed the driver's exam on the first try and went into the electrical apprenticeship program. Prick.

Anywho, that one thought spiraled into another and I finally found myself with a little tale to tell. Now this was back before Fringe and other sci-fi shows that showcase the parallel universes. Although I'd be lying if I said Mirror, Mirror didn't have an influence.

Summary-After the loss of her family, Angela Learty is resigned to live her life quietly, and alone. When she meets a charming young man at work, she doesn't think much of it. She doesn't realize this man has been stalking her, dimension after dimension...

Samples-A free pdf of the first five chapters can be found here.  To purchase it, head over to Amazon, iTunes or Barnes & Noble and enjoy. You can also find us on Facebook.

BONUS! Rise of the Pandas-Not a novel, but a screenplay. It started off as a response to the terrible Syfy movies, but I think it turned into a cracking good story. The title speaks for itself, but the plot involves some Pandas...who rise. TWIST! Download pdf here. You can follow the project at Amazon Studios.

Let me know what you think. Are they good? Should I flush them forever? Tips or tricks to save them? Leave some comments below and enjoy!

Tomas Staab

Twitter-@StaabTom

Facebook-The Staabiverse