#t: warner st.james

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Colton: [forwarded photo attachment] Colton: It's moments like this I'm most scared of my mother. Colton: What the hell were we dressed as!? @warnerstjames

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😳 + warner

@warnerstjames

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Colton: I'm traumatized just thinking about it. Colton: I believe we need something that'll make '04 look like Amateur Hour. Colton: I mean, I'm inviting a shit ton of people this year too..so we kind of have to entertain the group too 😈

warner: it really burrows deep warner: and gets under your skin warner: it's only fair warner: the question is warner: are we taking it as far as the rolling pin incident in 2004 or 👀 @eternalconsxlationprize

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Colton: Upper Side trauma is strong with us. Colton: Damn straight I will. Colton: If we have to suffer through THAT he has to suffer more. @warnerstjames

warner: back then? warner: it still is now warner: thanksgiving is going to be a blood bath warner: i'll cook up something good to do to him warner: you can be my co-conspirator @eternalconsxlationprize

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Colton: Yeah well, it was kind of Survival Of the Fittest back then… Colton: He deserves whatever you do to him, no questions asked. @warnerstjames

warner: you have to have thick skin when cassandra st. james is your mother warner: you know i'll never pass up an opportunity to terrorise your brother warner: not after that christmas in 2010 @eternalconsxlationprize

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Colton: Truth always does. Colton: But you always survive so we're good. Colton: I knew you'd see things my way. @warnerstjames

warner: that hurts warner: but you make a fair point warner: so count me in warner: for the bullying and the suite @eternalconsxlationprize

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Colton: Now..that's an amateur point of view, man. Colton: Think of it this way, why would I bully you when WE can bully Asher together!? @warnerstjames

warner: well warner: that all depends on whether you're going to be verbally insulting me all night @eternalconsxlationprize

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Colton: We’ll test that in nyc Colton: I’m already on my way, jeez

warner: you're delusional is what you are warner: now quit texting and hurry up and get packed for the trip warner: i'll wait outside for you

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Colton: That is too much information. Colton: Also Colton: I'm everyone's type.

warner: that's just facts warner: don't worry warner: you're not my type

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Colton: That's your argument? Okay... Colton: Please don't pack as if we're moving back there. Colton: And no ski masks allowed.

warner: that sounds like a you problem warner: i'm not worse than you warner: i'm more adventurous than you warner: there's a difference warner: twenty works for me

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Colton: I've been worried since I met you. Colton: You're just never helping your case, being worse than I am. Colton: Make it twenty.

warner: this is what makes you worry about me? warner: ok, vanilla ice warner: pick me up in fifteen?

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Colton: I'm seriously worried about you now. Colton: We'll have to talk about it on the jet.

warner: it was just a suggestion! warner: it was for a tiktok trend warner: it's not a trip to nyc without some koba's!

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Colton: Dude. We're not scaring people to death, we're doing this for our name. Colton: Also..do I even wanna know? [2 minutes later] Colton: Yeah, fine, we're doing Korean too.

warner: damn warner: i could have finally got use out of my ski mask warner: as long as we can hit up koba's korean bbq while we're there i'm down!

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Colton: Nicely said! Colton: Don't be ridiculous, man Colton: It's not breaking and entering if I have keys 😎 Colton: So...boys' trip to NYC this weekend? To....pack up some more of my stuff?

warner: tell her you said what? warner: i don't even know what you're talking about warner: 👀👀👀 warner: are you suggesting we break and enter into your mom's place? warner: ...because i'm down, i just want to make sure we're on the same page

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Colton: Not my fault her taste declines as she ages. Colton: DON'T EVER TELL HER I SAID THAT. Colton: We keep her happy with mediocre chocolate, champagne and flowers and we look for her stash @warnerstjames

warner: man, that's child's play warner: Côte d'Or is THE best belgian chocolate warner: those awkward childhood pictures are what's going to socially murder us

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Colton: I'll send her some of that Belgian chocolate she likes. Colton: Godiva will save us. Colton: NO. YOU WANT TO SOCIALY MURDER US?! Colton: We go with chocolate. And maybe flowers too. For now. 🍫💐 @warnerstjames

warner: they need to never see the light of day warner: my instagram tagged photos is already fully of bad pictures of myself i can't wipe from online warner: i don't need terrifying childhood pictures surfacing too warner: we could send her a cease and desist 👀