#tag yoself i'm schmok

[schmokschmok]

[ ID: Screenshot of a tweet by Kiersten White @kierstenwhite: "Sometimes as motivation I reward myself before I accomplish something. It's called a preward, and it 100% does not work." / End ID ]

[schmokschmok]

[ ID: Simple line-art of a person standing underneath a speech bubble shaped like a rain cloud. The speech bubble is coming from a bodyless head and says, "Here is some criticism." The person themself is saying, "No thanks," and their own speech bubble is shaped like an umbrella, shielding them from the criticism raining down. At the same time, they hold up a watering can labelled, "I've got my own," while they water their own head with a smug/satisfied expression. / End ID ]

[schmokschmok]

[ ID: Screenshot of a comment with a tiny picture of Emmanuel Kant attachted, reading:

Emmanuel Kant: Drank a *lot* of coffee. When he didn't have a cup for a while he became distraught and would cry "I am drowning!" This was the sign for his servants to bring him a new cup of coffee molto pronto. When he saw it arriving he would cry "Land! My dear friends, I see land!!" I want to bully him. What a fucking dork. Doesnt help that his moral theory is terrible.

/ End ID ]

[schmokschmok]

[ ID: The "If nobody got me, I know ____ got me," edited to read, "If nobody got me [tumblr tag containing a keysmash] #HELP #LMAOOOO #FUCKING DELETE THIS [with five S followed by six capital As] [another tumbler tag containing a keysmash]" I know tumblr tags got me. Can i get an [keysmash]?" / End ID ]

Was feelingbad about my art until i read the tags

[schmokschmok]

[ !B: Meme-Format. Screenshot eines Gesprächs zwischen Shane Madej und Ryan Bergara. Shane, labelled mit "ich in meiner Hausarbeit", sagt: "i've connected the dots." Ryan, labelled "mein Prof", erwidert, "you didn't connect shit." Darauf erwidert Shane, "i've connected them." /Ende !B ]

It's Hausarbeit season y'all

[schmokschmok]

[ Image ID: Screenshot of a tweet by Jimmy @/lieslmao, posted 06:22 on 29/04/2021: "u ever killed your own vibe from thinking" / End ID. ]

[schmokschmok]

[ ID: The "I know this, and I love you"-meme. The first person is labelled "me" and says, "I have never answered any correspondence in a timely manner ever, in my life." The second person, reaching forward placatingly, is labelled "my professors, friends, family, coworkers, literally anyone who's ever tried to contact me" and says, "I know this, and I hate you." / End ID ]

[schmokschmok]

[ ID: Drawing of a short-haired person in a blue shirt bent over, clutching their stomach. Above the drawing is written, "I'm Gonna Fucking Die Disease." Left and right to the person is written, "oh fuck" and "oh god." Underneath is a list titled, "Symptoms." The only bullet point is "thought about jonmartin a bit too much for a bit too long." / End ID ]

[schmokschmok]

[ Transcript of OG post: "the fact neurotypicals can’t hear the electronics hum doesn’t sit right with me. they’re such strange creatures. what do you mean you can’t hear the computer going babdbbsjsbsbhmmmmmm? it’s very much there! in fact, at times it’s too loud and i cry over it! you have to be able to hear it!" / End Transcript

ID: A person grasping their face with their hand, eyes closed in disbelieve. It reads, "hold on a sexond. Man, hold on a second." / End ID ]

the fact neurotypicals can’t hear the electronics hum doesn’t sit right with me. they’re such strange creatures. what do you mean you can’t hear the computer going babdbbsjsbsbhmmmmmm? it’s very much there! in fact, at times it’s too loud and i cry over it! you have to be able to hear it!

[schmokschmok]

[ ID: Snapchat conversation between "Eliska" and "Me." Eliska asks, "What have English tutorials conevti??? *come to," and me replies, "ρηαθ what sorry my greek keyboard turned itself on" / End ID ]

[schmokschmok]

[ !B: Das Dinkleberg-Meme aus Cosmo und Wande, auf dem Timmys Vater - ein weißer Mann mit schwarzen Haaren und grünen Augen - in Nahaufnahme zu sehen ist, wie er mit zusammengekniffenen Augen nach rechts sieht und mit unzufriedenem Zug um den Mund "Dinkelberg" ruft. Das "Dinkelberg" ist durch den Schriftzug "Süddeutschland" ersetzt worden / Ende !B ]

Are you a “Kemie”, “Schemie” odrr “Cchhemie” German?

Are you a “Kina”, “Schina” or “Cchhina” German?

[schmokschmok]

[ Image ID: First image is a screenshot of tumblr reply by user uglyhomopunk: "hannover?? don't they literally speak the clearest hochdeutsch of the country???"

Second image is a picture of a book called "Piggeldy und Frederick. Was ist Humor? mit Stickern" (EN: "Piggeldy and Frederick, what is humor? with stickers"). The word "humor" is clearly photoshopped into the subtitle. On the cover are two pigs on a green field with a white wicket gate facing each other, the left one is half the size of the right one. In the right hand corner is the blue triangle logo of the publishing company "Ravensburger", on the left side is a blue stripe with the white lettering, "Mini-Bilderspaß" (EN: "mini-picture-fun") / End ID. ]

rating german dialects

based on scientific research, peer reviewed, confirmed by the german government

1. bavarian

this is what inexplicable selfconfidence and ego and privilege sound like

2. saxon

this is what the rest of germany thinks extreme rightism or extreme leftism sounds like

3. hannover

genuinely cant understand a word they say <3

4. berlin

being loud and rude and arrogant isnt a contest but apparently it is

5. swabian

oh look, its the funny dialect used for comedy and being hilarioso because all it knows are diminutives and funny vowels

6. platt

is this its own language or are danish and dutch just german dialects?

7. swissgerman

this is what inexplicable selfconfidence and ego and privilege sound like

8. hessian

also a funny dialect but certainly not the go to comedy accent within german comedy