#tagging's for the sober

[leshipper69]

I loathe my childhood

I loathe that I was the older sister

Will always be the older sister

But I understand I had to be

I am the only one of us three

Who can handle our mother

Who knows from the sound of her footsteps

On the wooden floor

If the outcome will be better

By answering her or remaining silent

I am the only one who can comprehend

Our father's lack of affection

Lack of words too

Because he doesn't say anything

And I know he only reaches for one of us

To hug after too many drinks

I know our stepfather

Never wanted us in his life

Whenever we were in his house

I had to pretend I wasn't alive at all

So he and our mother didn't start fights

I am the only one who gets

Why our stepmother meddles

To the point we slammed our bedroom doors

To keep from hearing her

Her sons kept her out

And they ended up in jail

(she blames herself)

I have taken stands against our father

For you

You were in your room, barely a teen

And only wanting to play games

(he never tried to push you into studying

So I had to)

I have screamed at our mother

For all the things she was meant to do

But never did

I still yell at her

When she tries to pull away

With our baby brother

(he is a child, you were a child

And she has never been a mom)

I remember the ruination of their marriage

And was forced to be the glue of our family

Before I knew what that really meant

My childhood didn't slip through my fingers

Like that of so many others

I willingly unclenched my fist

To let if fall

So yours would never leave your hands

I am three years older than you

I had to parent you

I had to parent our brother

And handle our mother

While ignoring my breaking heart

At the glimpses of a childhood

That I tried to give you both but never had

I had my last birthday party

When I was ten

But yours went into your adulthood

I can't make myself go

To our brother's birthday parties now

Because all it reminds me of

Is the years I should have had one

But didn't

Because I was an adult in a little girl's body

You grew up with a whole heart

And our brother is doing the same

Mine is hollow

I was my mother's therapist

And I was the third parent

And even a glance from either of them

Made me feel a pressure

At the back of my skull

To be the best at everything

I hate our parents

And I hated myself

And I had to suffer alone,

Face buried in a pillow

Night after night

So you wouldn't hear me cry

Our dad yelled at me too often

And now he never yells at you

(I don't let him)

I don't know our brother's favorite color

But he got really sick when he was two

And I didn't sleep for three days

So I could hold him

Because the warmth helped

I don't know the names of your friends

But if something happens to our parents

You won't need to worry

Because the responsabilites will fall on me

The last time dad said he was proud of me

I had won a tournament when I was eleven

Our mother has never said it

I was so little when the girl I was

Innocent, happy and full of wonder

Died

The one that came after

Was born out of spite

And she resents our parents

I would take a bullet for you

I would take a bullet for our brother

I would pull the trigger

If the gun was at my head

To save either of our parents

But I know deep down

That they wouldn't do the same for me

I plan my life alone

ecause our parents have disappointed me

So often

I can no longer trust anyone to stay

I know I can't depend on anyone

Because I never could before

I've lost count of the times

I apologized to our mother

All she did in return was neglect me

No sacrifice I ever make

Will ever be enough

To compensate for the high price

Our mother convinced herself she paid

Because of my existence

I can't tell if she hates me

For something I did when I was four

Or just having been born

(I know she hates me still)

I resigned as daughter

At the same time you started to learn

To be a little boy

People tell me often

I'm good with children

I had to be for you and for our brother

(there was no choice)

I don't believe in God

I never did

(I don't believe in our father anymore either)

I still live out of spite

I think I'll die from it too

[m-ercutios]

anyway, sign the not another bomb petition

[sapphicdalliances]

The most beautiful thing about Chengqing to me is that if their roles were reversed, say if WRH won; if the Jiang were on the brink of extinction and the Dafan Wen were struggling to regain their political foothold; if under those circumstances, Wen Qing came to Jiang Cheng and said "Jiang-gongzi, I can –" his response would be the exact same as hers was in canon:

"Wen-guniang, what can you do?"

Because she can save him, but not his people. And they both know this. They look at each other, and they know that they are two of a kind: they would choose their families over each other, and in doing so, over themselves. In a heartbeat, they would. That is why they could have been in love. That is why they never will be

[gomzdrawfr]

ssssssssssssssssss(c)elebration

Happy Lunar New Year!!

credit:

Art Reference

I wanna thank my friend waffle for helping me with Raven's dress rendering <3 they really kicked started the coloring process (I was not going to color)

also Price's dragon pattern was traced and altered from this

[julesnichols]

Juliette Nichols is tiny and greasy and looks like she'd bite you at the smallest provocation but she loves so deeply and can't express it easily and ALSO she's so so smart even if all her braincells sometimes merge into one slightly less smart one because she's so focused on something she forgets everything else to detriment of herself and everyone around her. I love her perfect character 10/10 no notes

[jubileedeeznuts-posting]

[cold lockers] ( c )

[lesbiansforeddiediaz]

i'm even trying to be generous in my thinking because i don't want to minimize anyone's personal history or dismiss that something in the last episode might have been triggering to them. but it confuses me because a behavior being triggering =/= that behavior itself being abusive?!?! so i don't understand why people are acting like it does

See the thing is and people are very afraid of saying this is that something being "triggering" can be because of racism. How often do we see the excuse of "I feared for my life/safety" in cases of hate crimes? In things like people posting poc just existing on their neighborhood apps or Facebook calling them "suspicious" for just engaging in normal behavior? Anything at all can be triggering but specifically reading a scene that was not aggressive or intended to be read as aggressive or threatening in anyway as such when the person in question is a poc is extremely questionable to me. Especially when also portraying Buck as the poor fragile innocent white victim. How many of these posts and people say things about how Buck is so sweet and soft and would never hurt anyone and Eddie is so scary and aggressive and they felt unsafe? It's incredibly racially coded and it is not even subtle

[torchickentacos]

WE HAVE ACCURATE AG FANSUBS!!!!!! NOT A DRILL!!!!!!!!! Much like the few subs we do have, you'll need VLC media player and to download the files and run them through vlc but they're here. Bless.

[geminison]

i saw an angel today. he came to collect the debt

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

I think we should stop giving Lance family problems and instead give everyone else family problems and then drag him into all of them as universe's most unpaid and unqualified therapist. As god intended

[boimlerkisser]

Guess who just ate some weeeeed gummy :]

[babynorppa]

Jere’s obsession with a waiter/bartender foreplay should be studied more

[gridog]

our reaction to this weird beast. thank you @volcanocraft

we know we forgot his bowtie but listen we’ve been working on this for three hours straight with no background noise. and we havent made a skin since artfight. forgive us.

(skin map link in replies)

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

One thing that struck me about Taylor’s letter about purchasing her masters is how so much of the sentiment in it, particularly in the first paragraph, echoes the sentiment in The Prophecy. And I’m not saying that to mean that I think The Prophecy is about her masters (it obviously isn’t), but rather that all these things that Taylor was dealing with just continually compounded on each other over the last few years, and how the deep yearning and grief she felt in her personal life was also echoed in her professional life. Once again, we only see a fraction of her life through our screens, and we never really know the full story of what’s happening in real time (or even ever), but the depths of the pain she’s experienced in the last decade and the way she’s overcome it all to finally come to a place where she seems settled and happy is really inspiring to see. It’s like one by one all these pain points have healed and resolved themselves, and I’m just so, so happy for her. It seems like the last vestiges of what happened in 2016 specifically (but also 2019-2023) have finally been laid to rest, and I cannot imagine what kind of freedom that affords her emotionally and mentally.

[da-shrimping-station]

Andrealphus with a human!SO who's curious about his scars

gender-neutral reader | slightly suggestive | mentions of sex and nudity | he calls his SO darling as an endearment | nonsexual intimacy (for the most part ig?)

MINORS DNI

i will take your kidneys 🧡

────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────

He can feel them staring intensely. It doesn't bother him the slightest, given that he's received far more hostile glares, but that doesn't mean he's not curious. It's rare for his darling to look at him like that.

"Is there something wrong?"

Andrealphus turned to where they are, senses acute enough to locate them despite their quiet. There was a rustle of cloth and soon enough a body pressed against his.

"You have a lot of scars..."

"Do they bother you?"

He was never one for vanity, before or after being blind. What only mattered was that he was, at the very least, clothed. Even when he became one of Niflheim's nobles. Black did well with bloodstains and a simple suit was all he needed. A tie was out of the question because no matter how much he practiced, he somehow could never get it right. And the only reason that he bothered to braid his hair was because it could be a liability in battle, what with getting tangled or grabbed if he let it be.

So, appearances were the least of his concerns. So long as his body functioned well enough to fight, that's all that mattered.

"They don't bother me," they reassured. "It's just that, seeing them makes me realise what you went through."

Their fingers gently tapped at his wrist before holding his hand.

"I never really cared for the scars." For the majority of his existence, all Andrealphus did was fight. "The doctors from Paradise Lost can't say no to me when I ask for their assistance."

He's a model patient to them, following orders and recommendations to hasten his recovery. Rushing things would be a detriment in battle.

There had been times when he'd been too zealous with fighting and outright disregarding his physical state in order to fulfill his bloodlust. It cost him and his comrades dearly.

Gusion's rant and Bathin's disapproving comments still ring in his ears to this day. Yet they still helped him, dragging him back to where Marbas was in order to receive proper treatment. He made sure to express his thanks by staying put and actually listening to the doctor.

"Still," his darling insisted, snuggling closer to him. "It makes me sad, I guess? That you had to go experience such pain. I know you can handle it and that you've gone through worse but..."

The pair sat in silence, the mid afternoon sun filtering through the window and the sheets rumpled over their bare lap.

Andrealphus thinks he understands. Humans are delicate after all and Niflheim demons are the hardiest of devils in Hell, followed by those of Tartaros. Not to mention he is a noble to boot. Suffice to say, his body can take a lot before he's down for the count. Yet he also understands their concern, he thinks. They've never interacted with devils before they got to Hell and what knowledge they have of its residents are only surface level.

Maybe he should accept Gusion's offer of tutoring his darling about the norms and cultures in Hell. There was also a suggestion from Bathin to give them basic training for self defense.

Maybe.

Are his scars that unsightly that his darling would go so far as to point it out? It's not that he's unaware of them. They're just a fact of life, given that the entirety of Hell was at war for a century now and he was constantly on the frontline.

"Are they that unsightly?" Enough for them to point it out?

"No. Not the slightest. In fact," they trailed off, sounding a little hesitant. "I find them attractive."

"Oh, I have no doubt towards that," Andrealphus said with a chuckle. "If I remember correctly, you jumped on me the first time you saw me shirtless—oof!"

His darling punched him lightly (to him at least), as they grumbled in embarrassment. He wrapped his arms around them, pulling them in for a kiss. They still haven't cleaned up from earlier activities, thought that's the least of his concerns right now. Not when his darling kisses him back with equal fervor and adoration.

"Andrea–" They gasped, moaning as Andrealphus set his eager mouth to their chest. Such music to his ears. "C-can I touch your– Ah! Your scars–"

Their nails dug into his shoulders, trying to steady themself as he set them on his lap properly. He growled as they yanked at his hair, halting his onslaught so they can catch their breath.

"Can I?" They asked, breath ragged and a face flushed.

"You can touch wherever," he said, giving them one last kiss as reassurance. He let them settle on his lap properly and patiently waited.

Hesitant fingers traced along his right bicep. He knew there was a scar there having touched it when he bathes.

"Where is this from?"

"Sparring with Bathin."

"Oh?"

"He is skilled with his sword. If I were any slower, it would've gone through my arm."

His darling let out a concerned hum but kept quiet nonetheless.

The rest of their afternoon went like that. Tentative touches on scar tissues and hushed voices asking questions as they explored the visible scars on his body. They used to be inconsequential to him. Just another notch on his body as proof of another hard won battle and further proof of him reaching his goals. But with how his darling touches them, even going so far as to give the bigger ones a kiss made him feel proud to have them.

Andrealphus thinks he'd found a slice of paradise, here in his humble home, with his darling in his lap, and the rest of the world so far away.

────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────

A/N:

hiiii i've had a bit of a drink and when im drunk, i write (because i need me some of that dutch courage to stop being conscious about my writing)

gonna add this to my collection of "drinking drabbles"

this was all done in one sitting and definitely not proofread so,,,,,,,

also typed this all up on mobile so idk what's the word count or if the formatting is okay

eheheheheh 🦐

[crazy-tomato]

Hey um remember that one "heres some concepts for a comic series i would like to make" well i thought to myself "why dont i remake it with some of my newer hcs and other bef members?" And uh.

It might got a bit out of hand...

Heres the cropped ver!

I had some ideas of what the story could be, i really want to go deeper with this concept and if i dont manage to make it a comic at LEAST i try to make it as a fanfic