#taylor swift is a menace for that one
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imreading105 · 1 year ago
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the parallel between “you’ve ruined my life by not being mine” and “i love you, it’s ruining my life” KILLS ME
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sentient-pineapple · 11 months ago
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pokespefangirl · 27 days ago
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from "My baby's fly like a jet stream. High above the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new" to... (Call It What You Want)
"And sometimes it gets me, when crossing your jet stream. We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon"... (Peter) I'VE BEEN KILLED I'VE BEEN STABBED
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risetherivermoon · 2 years ago
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Remember when they were happy? yeah me neither.
decided to draw the teens with how i see them early s2!! i wanna make a part two of this with how i see them now but thatll come later lol, this is also me solidifying how i draw them
i did add hermie but i drew him w/ his late s2/pre-death look instead of his normal teen look sooo, he got cut off lol
ill prob add him to the late s2 lineup if i end up drawing that
(closeups under cut -> )
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beanghostprincess · 2 years ago
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"shuggy (taylor's version)" but it's literally just 1989 because it's exactly their whole relationship summarized in an album. like i can't make this shit up. these songs are extremely shuggy and i can't do this anymore.
blank space
out of the woods
all you had to do was stay
i wish you would
bad blood
wildest dreams
how you get the girl
this love
clean
wonderland
you are in love
slut!
say don't go
now that we don't talk
suburban legends
is it over now?
what if i cry what if i start crying what- and practically everything is from buggy's pov. i'm literally dying.
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theek-ache · 2 years ago
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Recently I've been getting lots of One Piece edits using Taylor Swift songs on tik tok and every time I'm like "omggg love it!! they really said for you page 😊💕" as if these two weren't the most popular pieces of media in the world
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asterisk-666666 · 6 months ago
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everyone else: frothing at giga rumors
me: if they replace Kumba with a 30 million$ pile of mediocrity I hope it personally falls into a sinkhole
(thanks god Shiekra stops the park from going the even more insulting mini dive coaster route. I hate that those things have to be so popular with corporate they are such gimmicky short rides vs anything else in their caliber)
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pucksandpower · 6 days ago
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Engaged-ish
Lando Norris x Grand Duchess!Reader
Summary: in which an obscure Luxembourgish tradition leads to a proposal … sort of
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The paddock buzzes like a beehive, sun-drenched and shimmering with the scent of gasoline, sunscreen, and expensive cologne. Cameras flash. People talk in clipped, purposeful voices. Somewhere, an engine snarls awake.
And then — chaos.
Well, not chaos exactly. More like a whoosh, followed by a yelp.
“Oi! Shit! Watch out!”
A blur of black and orange comes flying down the narrow stretch between team garages. Lando Norris, crouched low on a scooter like a gremlin on wheels, is laughing before he slams into something soft and solid.
There’s a crunch of expensive heels.
A thud.
A gasp.
And then-
“Oh my God. Ohmygodohmygod.” Lando’s already halfway off the scooter, scrambling to his feet with hands out like he can rewind time by sheer panic. “Are you — are you okay? I didn’t — I mean, it’s not like, that fast, right? It’s — okay, yeah, no, you’re very much on the ground, cool cool cool-”
You’re lying there, halfway on your side, propped up by one elbow, blinking. Your oversized sunglasses are askew. One of your heels has flown halfway under a stack of Pirellis.
And the guy looming above you is grinning like he’s not sure if he should laugh or throw himself into the Mediterranean out of shame.
"Hi," he says. "Sorry for, uh. Running you over."
You tilt your head, still stunned. “Are you seriously racing a scooter through the paddock?”
“It’s not racing if no one’s timing it,” Lando says brightly, offering you a hand. “… But yes. And that was reckless. And stupid. And really fun. But mostly stupid.”
You stare at his hand. His cap’s pushed up on his head, curly hair spilling out in sweaty tangles. His eyes are impossibly bright. He looks like he just crash-landed from a cartoon.
You take his hand.
He pulls you up with an exaggerated grunt. “Wow. Okay. You’re stronger than you look.”
“You’re more of a menace than you look.”
He grins. "Thank you. Wait, was that a compliment?"
“Not even remotely.”
You dust yourself off, lifting your sunglasses onto your head. Lando watches, then lets out a short laugh.
“Oh no.”
“What?”
“You’re — yeah, wow, okay. You’re very pretty. Like, really pretty. You’re probably important, huh?”
You narrow your eyes.
“Are you asking if I’m important because I’m pretty?”
“No! No no no,” he says, horrified. “God, no. I mean — you look like the kind of person who has a security detail and a Wikipedia page. Which is not the only reason you’re important. It’s just … I feel like I’m gonna get sued.”
You smirk. “You might.”
He’s staring at you like you just told him he ran over Taylor Swift.
“Okay. What’s your name? I’ll write you a very panicked apology letter. Maybe flowers? Wait, do you even like flowers? Maybe chocolate. Wait — nut allergy?”
You blink. “Are you always like this?”
He considers that. “Yeah. But sometimes I tone it down for the elderly or if I’m at a funeral.”
You should be irritated. You’re not. Somehow, all this flailing panic is … disarming. He’s like a golden retriever who just knocked over a vase and is now waiting to see if you’ll still pet him.
“I’m Y/N,” you say finally.
“Y/N,” he repeats. “That’s a lovely name.”
“And you are Lando Norris.”
He pauses. “… So you do know who I am. That feels unfair.”
“You ran me over.”
“Right. Nevermind.”
You retrieve your shoe from under the tires with a little sigh. He watches you with a sort of guilty awe. Like he can’t quite believe he survived the collision.
Then, after a beat, “You here for the race?”
You arch a brow. “What gave it away?”
“Could be the Monaco sun,” he says, walking backward beside you now. “But also the outfit. You look too … elegant to be someone’s PR handler. You’re not a driver’s girlfriend either, or I’d have seen you on Insta by now.”
You snort. “What a deduction.”
“I know, right? Sherlock Norris. So … what do you do?”
You stop walking. He stops too. Tilts his head.
You smile. “I would tell you …”
“Oh, you would?” He says, eyebrows bouncing.
“-but I think I want to see if you can guess my job correctly.”
He grins. “Love a challenge.”
You lean in slightly, like you’re sharing a secret. “You only get one guess.”
“Only one?”
“One.”
“Okay, okay. No pressure.” He pinches the bridge of his nose like it’ll help summon divine clarity. “Let’s see. You’re well-dressed, clearly clever, somehow not screaming at me despite the vehicular assault … so you’re either incredibly powerful or completely unbothered by earthly consequences.”
“Very astute.”
He squints. “You’re … a fashion CEO.”
You blink. “That’s your guess?”
He nods, proud. “Big time. Like, quietly running a billion-euro empire from a Parisian penthouse. You look like you boss people around in three languages.”
You purse your lips. “Close.”
“Seriously?”
“No. Not even remotely.”
He looks personally offended. “Okay, then who are you?”
You just start walking again.
“Oh, come on! That’s mean,” he whines, trailing after you. “I guessed. You said I get to know!”
“No,” you say over your shoulder. “I said I want to hear if you can guess it. You didn’t.”
“Unbelievable,” he mutters. “Is this what heartbreak feels like? Are you — are you a spy? A secret agent? Do you know Daniel Craig? Please tell me you’re MI6.”
You’re laughing now, which only makes him more dramatic.
“Oh, you’re loving this,” he accuses. “You’re totally enjoying watching me flail.”
“You flail very naturally.”
“Thank you — wait, no. That’s not a compliment.”
“Isn’t it?”
He squints suspiciously. “You’ve got the same energy as my trainer when he says I’m doing a good job but makes the workouts harder.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Okay, mysterious beautiful stranger who may or may not be royalty-”
You freeze for a split second.
He catches it.
“Oh my God,” he says slowly. “Wait. Wait. Are you actually — wait. Like, real royalty? Is that — no. That’s not a thing. That’s a thing in Netflix movies.”
You raise a brow.
“Oh shit,” he whispers.
You don’t confirm. Don’t deny.
He stares at you like you just turned into a unicorn. “I ran over a princess.”
You tilt your head. “Technically, Grand Duchess. Hereditary Grand Duchess, if we’re being precise.”
He’s silent.
For about three whole seconds.
Then, “I’m going to jail.”
You burst out laughing.
“No, seriously,” he says, mouth falling open. “That’s like treason? Assault on a noble? Is that a law? Is there a dungeon? Oh my god-”
You reach for his sleeve, tug it gently. “Relax. You’re not going to prison.”
“But I could be,” he says, stunned. “You’re actual royalty. I think I saw you once, like a year ago! You were on the cover of Vogue or something-”
You glance sideways. “So you have seen me before.”
“I thought you looked familiar! But I just assumed I’d dreamed you.”
You roll your eyes.
He stares at you for another second, then breaks into a wide, sheepish grin. “This is insane.”
“You’re telling me.”
He scratches the back of his neck. “So … you coming to the motorhome, Your Highness?”
You pretend to consider it. “Only if you stop calling me that.”
“Deal,” he says immediately. “But I’m still going to make you guess what my job is, just to even the playing field.”
You glance at his McLaren shirt. “You sell scooters.”
He gasps. “Correct. Wow. Nailed it in one.”
You both laugh.
***
The McLaren motorhome hums with life, all sharp lines and bright orange accents, but it feels like a bubble. A refuge tucked between the chaos of the paddock and the roaring engines beyond. You follow Lando inside, still unsure how you got here — still vaguely amused that he hasn’t stopped talking since the crash.
“You know, I don’t normally just run over people,” he says, leading you past a security guy who gives you both a baffled look. “You’re actually my first. Well. That I know of. I might’ve clipped a Ferrari engineer once, but he was dramatic about it and threw a clipboard.”
You smile, trailing after him. “Is this your version of flirting?”
“Oh no, no, this is panic,” he says quickly. “My flirting is marginally smoother.”
“Marginally.”
“On a good day.”
The motorhome is bustling. Engineers tap away on laptops. There’s a spread of snacks someone’s half-raided. You notice a few people double-taking as they see you walk in, but no one says anything. It’s like they’re used to Lando bringing in strays.
“Do they always stare like that?” You ask under your breath.
He glances around. “What, that? Nah. That’s just them wondering if you’re a Netflix producer, or my cousin, or a very lost model.”
You roll your eyes. “You’re so annoyingly casual about this.”
“It’s my greatest skill,” he says proudly, then spins around suddenly. “Wait … here.”
He pulls off his McLaren cap and steps forward, holding it out to you. “Sun’s brutal today. You’ll need this if you’re hanging out here.”
You blink at the hat in his hand. “You’re giving me your hat?”
“Lending it,” he corrects, but he’s already stepping closer.
And then — without really thinking — he lifts it over your head and places it gently on top of your hair, adjusting it with exaggerated care.
“There,” he says, grinning. “Now you look fast.”
You snort. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Doesn’t have to,” he says. “You feel fast.”
You adjust the cap slightly, not thinking much of it. It’s warm from his head. Smells faintly like his shampoo and sun.
And somewhere across the paddock, at least four camera lenses catch it. The exact moment Lando Norris — a nonchalant, grinning mess of curls and chaotic charm — places his own hat gently on your head with all the care of someone proposing a life together.
Of course, neither of you notices.
“You look good in papaya,” he says, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
You raise an eyebrow. “You just like seeing people wear your merch.”
“True,” he admits. “It’s excellent branding.”
There’s a pause, and then you both start laughing at the same time. Loud and open, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Somewhere in the background, a McLaren comms staffer walks by, glancing between the two of you and immediately pulling out her phone.
“Right,” Lando says, flopping onto the couch and patting the space next to him. “Come on. Sit. Tell me everything.”
You lower yourself carefully onto the cushion, still unsure how your diplomatic morning turned into … whatever this is. “Everything?”
“Everything. Like what’s your actual day-to-day like? Are you doing royal things all the time? Are there, like, scrolls? Do you own a sceptre?”
“No scrolls,” you say. “And sadly, no sceptre. But I’m working on it.”
He nods solemnly. “You deserve a sceptre.”
“Thank you.”
“But seriously. Do you have meetings with … I don’t know, other royals? Do you sit in a big room and talk about treaties and wear sashes?”
You laugh. “Sometimes. Though most of my meetings are just government-adjacent. I do a lot of international work. Cultural diplomacy. Economic initiatives. Tourism stuff.”
“So … not just tea parties and ribbon cutting?”
“Shockingly, no.”
He whistles. “That actually sounds important.”
“It is.”
“And exhausting.”
You tilt your head. “It can be. There’s pressure. Constantly being watched. Expectations. Every gesture means something.”
He raises a brow. “Even hats?”
You don’t even flinch.
But internally, you do hesitate. The old Luxembourgish tradition flashes through your mind — one your grandmother once explained with a warm smile and a twinkle in her eye.
“If a man offers you something of his, something worn, something marked by him — especially a hat — and places it on your head, it means he offers you protection. Partnership. In the old days, it was a proposal before a proposal.”
You remember laughing at the time. It was quaint. Archaic. Romantic, in a way that felt more myth than law.
You doubt Lando Norris is aware of any of that.
You watch him now — grinning at a text, tossing his phone aside, still slouched like he owns the whole motorhome — and decide not to mention it.
“It’s just a hat,” you say lightly.
He nods. “Right? Totally normal. Generous, even.”
“Deeply generous,” you echo, smiling.
You both fall quiet for a moment. It’s not awkward. It’s … easy.
Then he turns to you again.
“So do you get bored of it?” He asks.
You blink. “Of what?”
“Being important. Being watched. Being … not normal.”
That one hits.
You lean back, letting your gaze drift to the window. “Sometimes. It’s hard to know if people are being real with me. If they want something, or if they’re just pretending they don’t know who I am. Or worse, pretending they do.”
He nods, slower now. “Yeah. I get that. A bit.”
You glance over at him.
“Okay, not the royal part,” he adds. “But … being public. Being expected to be on all the time. It’s weird, right? Like, people think they know you. Like they’ve already decided who you are before you say anything.”
You watch his face as he says it. There’s a moment of real honesty there, flickering between his words.
And you realize he’s not as clueless as he seems.
“I like this,” you say softly.
He looks up. “This?”
“This. Just talking. Not performing.”
He smiles, slower this time. “Me too.”
Someone calls his name from across the motorhome, but he doesn’t look away.
You pick up a packet of cookies from the coffee table, toss it into his lap. “Tell me more about crashing into other people. I want to know how many lawsuits you’re juggling.”
He laughs. “Okay, so once in Silverstone, I clipped George Russell with a golf cart. He insists I did it on purpose, but I maintain it was sabotage from Mercedes.”
You lean in, smiling. “Tell me everything.”
And so he does.
He talks with his hands, dramatic and unfiltered. He tells stories that make you laugh until you’re clutching your stomach. He impersonates Daniel Ricciardo. He makes fun of himself, of the team, of the absurdity of fame. You don’t realize how much time has passed until the room starts to empty.
You glance at the clock and blink. “It’s been two hours.”
“No way.”
You both look around. People are filtering out. The buzz of the paddock is louder now, the day slipping past you like sand through your fingers.
You reach up to adjust the hat again, and Lando watches, biting back a smile.
“You’re really keeping that, huh?”
You shrug. “Finders keepers.”
“I knew it,” he says. “You just came here for the merch.”
“I’m royalty,” you reply. “I came here for the drama and the free stuff.”
He clutches his heart. “A woman after my own heart.”
You hear a few more shutter clicks outside — photographers catching shots through the motorhome windows, lenses like little eyes peering in. Lando doesn’t seem to notice. Or maybe he’s used to it.
You should care more. Maybe you do, somewhere deep down.
But right now? In this moment?
You don’t.
You’re wearing his hat, and he’s laughing like he’s never had more fun in his life. And you’re just … two people on a couch, pretending the world outside doesn’t exist.
Later, you’ll both hear about the photos. About the symbolism. The headlines in Luxembourgish tabloids translating your laughter into lovers’ whispers, the cap into a silent vow.
But for now, you just look at him and smile.
And he smiles back.
***
It starts early.
Too early for a Sunday race day.
Lando is still half-asleep, blinking against the pale Monte Carlo morning light slicing through the curtains, when his phone explodes.
First it’s the buzz. Then the buzzbuzzbuzz. Then the ping, ping, ping of messages stacking up like a digital avalanche.
He groans, rolls over, tries to bury himself under the pillow. No use. Whatever this is, it’s not going away.
And then-
Cabrón. WHAT have you done?
Carlos is the first one in the group chat. With a screenshot.
Lando squints blearily at it. All caps. Tabloid headline.
A blurry photo from yesterday.
It’s you. Wearing his McLaren cap. Laughing. The moment he placed it on your head captured in too-crisp detail.
And the headline-
HEREDITARY GRAND DUCHESS OF LUXEMBOURG ENGAGED TO FORMULA 1 STAR LANDO NORRIS IN SECRET MONACO CEREMONY?
He blinks again.
“…What the fu-”
Another buzz.
ZAK BROWN: Call me. Now.
ANDREA STELLA: This is not funny. We are in Monaco. Please, for once, use your head.
GEORGE: Lando. Mate. Explain the royal engagement.
MUM: We need to talk ❤️
He stares at the screen like it might bite him.
The Grand Duchess part doesn’t even register at first. He scrolls through more links, more headlines, all variations of the same fever dream.
Symbolic proposal shocks royal observers in Monaco GP paddock.
Royal family confirms no comment
McLaren’s Lando Norris in relationship with Luxembourg’s future monarch?
He mutters, “What the — what is happening?”
Carlos sends another message.
CARLOS: This is the best thing that’s ever happened. Can I be your maid of honor?
CARLOS: Wait. Groomsman. Unless you're planning to wear the dress, then honestly I support it.
Lando doesn’t even have the energy to reply.
He swings out of bed, throws on a hoodie, and starts pacing. The cap. The hat. Was it really that big of a deal?
He offered it because she looked a little sun-blind. He thought it’d be cute. A gesture. Flirty. A laugh.
Not an international incident.
There’s a knock on his apartment door.
He opens it.
Zak stands there with the energy of someone who’s been yelling into a phone for two hours straight. Andrea is behind him, looking like he aged ten years overnight.
“You’re trending,” Zak says without preamble. “Not for winning. Not for pole. Not even for crashing. You’re trending because apparently you’re about to marry into a monarchy.”
“I didn’t — what — no,” Lando says, holding his hands up. “I gave her a hat!”
“An engagement hat!” Carlos shouts from inside the apartment, because of course Carlos has let himself in somehow. “The most sacred of all hats!”
Lando glares. “You’re not helping.”
Andrea pinches the bridge of his nose. “Do you understand the implications of this, Lando?”
“No! Because it’s insane!”
Zak exhales. “There are diplomatic rumors flying. Press camped outside the motorhome. Questions coming in from Luxembourg’s government channels.”
Lando looks helpless. “But I didn’t do anything.”
Carlos, now lying fully horizontal on Lando’s bed, grins. “You proposed. With headwear.”
“I hate all of you.”
Carlos lifts a hand. “It’s what we do.”
***
By the time Lando makes it to the paddock, he’s wearing sunglasses and a hoodie pulled up like a man on the run.
He gets stopped four times before reaching the McLaren motorhome.
One PR officer actually bows at him, just to be a menace.
Oscar gives him a slow, impressed once-over and just says, “Your Royal Highness,” with a mocking nod before walking away.
He’s never living this down.
The only thing he wants is to find you.
And, as if summoned by the strength of pure panic, there you are. Standing just outside the McLaren garage, mid-conversation with someone from Alpine, sipping from a bottle of water like you own the place. Your hair is tucked into a sleek ponytail. The sun makes your earrings glint.
Lando jogs up to you, breathless.
“Hey! Hey, hi, um, hi.”
You turn, startled. “Good morning.”
“Not really,” he says, lifting his glasses. “What the hell is going on?”
You blink. “What do you mean?”
“The cap. The hat. The one I put on your head yesterday? Apparently that means I proposed to you. The tabloids are going crazy. Everyone thinks we’re engaged. My mum texted me.”
Your eyebrows lift. “Wait, seriously?”
He pulls out his phone, flicks through the headlines, and shoves it toward you.
You squint at one. “‘Royal Love Blooms on the Grid?’” You snort. “‘Luxembourg’s Heartthrob Duchess Swept Off Her Feet by McLaren Maverick?’”
Lando’s voice pitches up. “Swept off her feet! I literally ran into you with a scooter!”
You start laughing. Not a polite laugh. A full-body, unbothered laugh. Like this is all the most normal thing in the world.
He stares. “Why are you laughing?”
You wipe a tear from under your eye. “Because this is nothing. You should’ve seen the time they said I was secretly dating a Swiss banker who turned out to be my second cousin.”
He pauses. “… What?”
“Or the time they decided I’d renounced the throne to become a goat farmer in Liechtenstein.”
He blinks. “Okay, that one’s kind of iconic.”
You give him a shrug. “This is what happens when you’re born into a monarchy and dare to show emotions in public.”
He stares at you. “You’re telling me you’re fine with this?”
“I think it’s hilarious.”
“Hilarious? They called me your future consort.”
“Are you not?” You ask innocently, sipping your water.
He splutters. “What-”
You grin. “I’m kidding.”
You’re very not kidding. Not in the way that matters.
Because watching him panic like this — watching him trail after you with his hoodie strings bouncing and his voice pitching up with every breath — it’s … oddly sweet.
He cares. Not just about the press. About you. About how this reflects on you. That matters.
You reach over and tug gently at his hood to straighten it. “Relax. The headlines will change by tomorrow.”
“You really think that?”
“No,” you admit. “But that’s what I tell myself when I’m spiraling.”
He laughs despite himself. “You’re way too chill about this.”
“I’ve had practice.”
“You’re literally a royal and you’re less stressed than me.”
“That’s because I’ve had years of training in pretending I’m not screaming inside.”
Lando looks at you. Really looks at you.
There’s this flicker of something in his chest. Admiration. Confusion. Something just slightly more than fondness.
He exhales. “You’re ridiculous.”
“So are you.”
“I didn’t mean to propose to you.”
“Shame,” you say casually, and walk away before he can respond.
He stands there, stunned, as Carlos passes behind him, humming “Here Comes the Bride.”
***
Back in the McLaren motorhome, the chaos continues.
The PR team is in damage control mode. Zak is pacing with a headset. Andrea has three newspapers folded under his arm and an expression that could melt titanium.
But Lando?
Lando is leaning on the windowsill, watching you from across the way as you chat with someone from Mercedes.
Still wearing his cap. Still laughing like you haven’t just caused a minor diplomatic crisis.
And for some reason … he’s not mad.
He just grins, taps the glass once, and mutters, “Yeah, this is totally fine.”
Absolutely fine.
Nothing is on fire. Nothing at all.
***
You know something’s wrong when Martine shows up.
Martine only shows up when things are very wrong. Like, international-incident-meets-centuries-old-protocol wrong. She’s your primary handler, which is a polite way of saying she’s the one who stops you from accidentally tanking Luxembourg’s economy with a bad outfit choice.
You spot her across the paddock: sharp black blazer, sunglasses that mean business, marching toward the McLaren motorhome with the speed and grace of a small, determined missile.
“Oh, no,” you mutter.
Lando, sitting on a folding chair next to you with his helmet in his lap, glances up. “What?”
You nod in Martine’s direction. “That.”
He follows your gaze and immediately winces. “Oh no.”
“She’s here to kill me.”
“She’s probably here to kill me,” he says, standing up like a man preparing to face execution.
Martine stops two feet away, does not greet you. Does not smile. Just removes her sunglasses and levels the two of you with the look she usually reserves for scandalous budget overspending or cousins dating minor celebrities.
She speaks in a voice so tight it might shatter glass. “Well, I hope you’re both having fun.”
You open your mouth to respond, but she holds up a hand. “No. Stop. Don’t speak yet. We’re in crisis mode.”
“Isn’t that a little dramatic?” Lando offers, with a hopeful grin.
Martine turns to him so slowly it’s almost operatic. “Mister Norris, the Luxembourgish Parliament has just issued a formal declaration of congratulations on your engagement. Your faces are on the front page of every major paper from here to Berlin. People Magazine referred to you as the ‘millennial fairytale.’ And — just to really put a cherry on top — your Instagram post from two days ago has now been recirculated as a ‘subtle announcement.’”
Lando swallows. “That post was about McNuggets.”
“Yes,” Martine says. “And you hashtagged it #lovemylife. So now the press thinks the nuggets were metaphorical.”
You press a hand to your face. “Okay. That one’s kind of on you.”
Martine whirls on you next. “Do you understand the implications of this? Because this is not just a PR disaster. This is a constitutional event. We cannot simply say it was a misunderstanding.”
“Why not?” Lando asks, hands outstretched. “Can’t we just say it was, like, a joke? A mix-up? A funny cultural thing?”
Martine takes a deep breath, as if preparing to deliver a death sentence.
“Because,” she says carefully, “in Luxembourgish law, once a declaration has been acknowledged by Parliament and received no formal objection from the heir apparent within the hour, it becomes a matter of record.”
Lando stares. “What does that mean?”
You sigh. “It means … it’s official. As far as the government’s concerned, we’re engaged.”
There’s a beat of stunned silence. And then Lando says, very quietly, “Oh, my god.”
Martine nods grimly. “Oh, your god, indeed.”
“I didn’t even do anything!” He protests. “I gave her a hat!”
Martine’s eyes narrow. “Which, in Luxembourg, is equivalent to a pre-marital vow of intent.”
“That’s ridiculous!”
“It’s ancient tradition!”
Lando throws his hands in the air. “Well maybe someone should’ve written a pamphlet! ‘Hey, welcome to Luxembourg, don’t give royal women hats!’”
“I should have known,” you say, mostly to yourself. “I knew the hat was going to be a problem.”
Martine exhales and pinches the bridge of her nose. “There is a press conference in two hours. The Grand Duke has already spoken to French media.”
You freeze. “Wait. My father knows?”
Martine shoots you a look. “Knows? He’s celebrating.”
“Celebrating what?”
“His exact words,” she says, pulling out her phone and reading from a very official-sounding email, “‘I have always dreamed of a son-in-law who drives fast and talks nonsense. This is perfect.’”
Lando, completely bewildered, points at himself. “Is that a compliment?”
You look at him. “Honestly? I think it is.”
Martine puts the phone away. “You both need to keep this under control. Just for a few days. Until the press dies down.”
Lando’s face scrunches. “Wait. Waitwaitwait. Are you saying we have to pretend to be engaged?”
Martine nods once. “Exactly.”
“Temporarily?” You ask.
“For now,” she says. “But you will both need to act engaged. Convincingly. That means appearances. Smiles. Coordination. Possibly an interview.”
Lando looks like he’s going to be sick. “Interview?!”
“Oh, you’re absolutely doing the interview,” Martine says.
You blink slowly. “So … just to clarify. Our options are either to lie to the international press and pretend to be planning a royal wedding or risk sparking a diplomatic conflict between my country and the rest of the European Union?”
Martine smiles grimly. “Correct.”
Lando leans against the nearest wall. “This is a nightmare.”
You nudge him with your elbow. “Could be worse.”
“How?”
You grin. “You could’ve actually proposed.”
He groans. “I’m never giving anyone a hat ever again.”
***
The rest of the morning is a blur.
Your phone doesn’t stop buzzing. Everyone from Monaco’s royal family to your mother’s childhood piano teacher is reaching out.
Lando’s friends have renamed their group chat “THE ROYAL CONSORTS.”
Carlos sends a meme of Meghan Markle waving from a balcony, photoshopped with Lando’s face. Lando throws his phone across the room.
Everywhere you walk in the paddock, people are staring, whispering, smiling in that way that means they think they know.
Lando sticks to your side like a man attached by invisible glue.
“This is surreal,” he mutters, not for the first time. “You’re just … fine with this?”
You glance at him. “I’ve been fake-smiling through political dinners since I was ten. This is honestly one of the less stressful things I’ve had to fake.”
He eyes you. “That’s kind of impressive.”
You shrug. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s insane. But it’s also temporary. We do a few appearances, wear some coordinated outfits, and smile for the cameras.”
He groans. “Do I have to wear a sash?”
“Only if you want bonus points.”
He considers. “Does it come in papaya?”
You grin. “Now you’re thinking like a royal.”
He glances sideways at you. “You really think we can pull this off?”
“I think,” you say slowly, “we have no choice. But yeah. We can do it.”
There’s something unspoken between you in that moment. Some flicker of understanding. And maybe a spark of something else.
***
By the time you arrive at the media scrum, the photographers are already in position. Flashes pop. Lenses aim.
You loop your arm through Lando’s, and he looks down like you’ve just handed him a live grenade.
“What do I do?” He mutters.
“Smile,” you whisper back. “And look like you’re wildly in love.”
He takes a breath, then smiles so wide it almost hurts to look at. A little crooked. A little chaotic.
It’s perfect.
He leans toward you. “Like this?”
You nod. “Exactly like that.”
The cameras love it. Shutters go wild. A symphony of clicks.
Someone shouts, “Any wedding date yet?”
Lando opens his mouth to panic.
You answer smoothly, “We’re just enjoying the moment.”
“Have you met each other’s families?”
Lando again looks like he might choke. You reply, “They’re … very supportive.”
“How did the proposal happen?”
Lando starts to laugh, helplessly.
You answer, “It was spontaneous.”
And that’s how the day goes.
Flash after flash. Smile after smile.
And through it all, Lando — your accidental fiancé, your completely overwhelmed co-conspirator — stays right beside you, fingers brushing yours, as if anchoring himself to reality.
You don’t know what’s coming next.
You don’t know how long you’ll have to keep this up.
But when Lando looks at you with that half-panicked, half-awed grin — like he still can’t believe this is happening — you just smile back.
Because somehow, against all odds this royal disaster? Feels a lot like fate.
***
The Grand Prix is over, the champagne has dried, and the press has moved on to whatever other scandal is brewing in the glittering circus of Monaco. And yet … you stay.
You’re supposed to leave, technically. There’s a return flight booked under your name, a motorcade on standby, and a color-coded itinerary that includes words like “debrief” and “post-engagement optics strategy.” But instead of heading back to Luxembourg, you text Martine something vague about needing to monitor the situation on the ground.
She doesn’t push. She never pushes when you use diplomatic language like that.
And so, you stay — in the sunshine, in the noise, in the afterglow of whatever chaos you and Lando have created.
And Lando? Well. Lando leans in. Hard.
It starts with a bouquet. You think it’s from some Monegasque diplomat until you read the note.
For my one true duchess. Long may she reign.
- Your Devoted Fiancé™
You roll your eyes so hard it almost hurts.
The next morning, there’s a box of chocolates left on the doorstep of your borrowed suite. Heart-shaped.
The note reads: May these sweets bring you half the joy your smile brings me.
- His Royal Himbo-ness
Then come the messages.
LANDO: Milady, I beseech thee … may I take thee to breakfast?
YOU: Only if thou bringest me hashbrowns.
LANDO: I would brave dragons and tyre degradation for thee.
YOU: Good, because I just saw you stall your scooter outside my hotel.
It’s ridiculous. It’s also … weirdly fun.
You keep telling yourself it’s fake, that it has to be fake. A temporary performance to appease international dignitaries and excitable royal fathers with a love for motorsport.
But then one afternoon, you find Lando outside your hotel with a paper crown from Burger King and a daisy between his teeth.
He bows. “Milady. Thy noble steed awaiteth.”
You snort. “You’re riding an electric scooter.”
“And she runneth on pure love.”
He offers his hand, like you’re a princess in a storybook.
You take it.
***
It’s only when you’re not performing — when the flowers are left without a camera flash or you’re laughing in a hallway while ducking behind a vending machine — that Lando starts to notice it.
The quiet moments.
The way your smile sometimes fades the second people look away. The way you’re constantly being trailed by someone in a blazer holding a tablet. The way your phone buzzes and you flinch like it might explode.
It hits him hardest at the hotel bar.
You’re sitting across from him in some ridiculous formal dress, sipping water like it’s wine because the event is too long and you’re too tired, and someone behind you says, “She doesn’t even look that royal.”
You hear it. He knows you hear it. But you don’t flinch. You just smile, poised and polite, and excuse yourself a moment later. You come back three minutes later, smile reset, posture perfect.
He watches the entire transformation with his stomach twisting into a knot.
“You alright?” He asks gently, when the crowds have thinned.
You glance over. “Of course.”
And he doesn’t push. But something in his chest tugs.
***
The idea comes to him in a flash.
“Hey,” he says the next night, casually leaning against the doorframe of your hotel suite. “Wanna ditch this disaster and do something stupid?”
You arch a brow. “Define stupid.”
“Burgers. Reality TV. My place.”
You blink.
“No press, no handlers. Just us. A comfy couch and some bad choices.”
You narrow your eyes. “What’s the catch?”
“No catch,” he says. “I just thought maybe … you might want to feel normal for a bit.”
You don’t answer right away.
Because it’s absurd. It’s reckless. You have a state dinner in forty-five minutes and there are actual diplomats waiting downstairs to make small talk about Luxembourg’s agricultural exports.
But then you look at him — hopeful, earnest, wearing a hoodie that says “QDRNT” and socks that do not match — and you think screw it.
You shut the door behind you.
“Let’s go.”
***
He smuggles you out the back through the hotel kitchens.
“You’ve done this before,” you note, as he expertly navigates a series of corridors.
“Absolutely,” he says. “I once snuck out past curfew during a sponsor dinner to get tacos with Max.”
“And how’d that end?”
“In a minor fire.”
You blink. “Wait, what?”
He just grins.
Ten minutes later, you’re sitting in his apartment — barefoot, legs tucked under yourself on the couch, a paper bag of burgers between you.
“You know,” you say, unwrapping one of them, “if this gets leaked to the press, they’re going to think you’re a bad influence.”
He takes a dramatic bite. “Milady, wouldst thou accept this humble offering of ketchup and meat?”
You snort, almost choking on your fries. “You’re insufferable.”
“And yet you remain seated.”
You roll your eyes but don’t argue.
He clicks on the TV and scrolls to a show that looks suspiciously like Love Island, then leans back and stretches his arms behind his head like it’s the most relaxing evening of his life.
“Do you do this a lot?” You ask.
“What, seduce royalty over fast food?”
“No,” you laugh. “Just … be this normal.”
He shrugs. “Normal’s relative, innit? I mean, yeah. When I can. When people let me.”
You nod slowly. “Must be nice.”
He turns to look at you. “You really don’t get much of that, huh?”
You take a sip of soda. “Not unless it’s scripted. Or has a purpose. Even this … it’s not real.”
He shifts on the couch, voice quieter. “It feels real.”
You glance over at him, something flickering behind your eyes. “It does, doesn’t it?”
There’s a long beat. The show drones in the background — someone screaming about being “mugged off” and crying in a hot tub.
And then he says, softly, “Can I ask you something?”
You nod.
“What would you be doing right now if you weren’t, y’know, you? The royal stuff, I mean.”
You pause.
“Sleeping,” you say finally. “Without a schedule. Without worrying if my resting face looks too detached in photographs.”
He smiles, a little sadly. “You’re good at it. The pretending.”
“Too good,” you murmur. “It’s like muscle memory.”
He nods, thoughtful.
Then, in a whisper like a secret:, “I wish I could give you more of this.”
You turn to him fully. “More burgers?”
“More normal,” he says. “More space to just … be. Laugh. Eat crap food and wear ugly pajamas and not have to explain yourself to anyone.”
Something in your chest squeezes.
You don’t say anything.
Instead, you lean over, take a fry from his tray, and say, “You talk too much.”
“Sorry,” he says quickly. “Didn’t mean to-”
“I like it,” you interrupt.
He blinks.
You nod toward the screen. “Shut up and watch trash TV with me.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
He salutes. You hit him with a pillow.
He yelps, dramatically falling sideways onto the couch like you’ve slain him. “Oh no! The duchess has betrayed me!”
You’re laughing now, full-bodied and unfiltered, and Lando watches you like he’s discovered something sacred.
And in that ridiculously expensive Monaco apartment — over lukewarm burgers and cheap television — something real clicks into place.
Something neither of you says out loud. Yet.
***
There’s something wildly disorienting about pretending to be engaged while boarding a private jet with your not-actually-fiancé and his team. Everyone’s in branded hoodies, backpacks slung low, and you are wearing sunglasses too big for your face and eating gummy bears out of Lando’s hand.
It shouldn’t feel this easy. But it does.
Lando slouches into the seat beside you, nudging your knee with his. “You ready to charm the entire paddock again?”
You grin, biting off a red bear. “As long as you don’t run me over with a scooter this time.”
He chuckles. “I make no promises.”
The entire team is still buzzing about Monaco, and Lando’s riding the wave like he was born for it. Every time someone asks about “the duchess,” he beams, slings an arm around you like it’s instinct, and says something utterly absurd like, “She saved me from a life of bachelor mediocrity.”
You elbow him every time. He doesn’t stop.
When you land, everything’s familiar but shinier. More photographers. More interest. More rumors. The press is obsessed, still pushing out think pieces dissecting your “engagement,” articles titled How Luxembourg’s Royal Match Might Save McLaren’s PR Season and Love, Speed, and Statecraft: A Modern Fairytale?
You try not to read them. You try not to notice that people are beginning to look at you and Lando like something real is happening.
But the problem is … it’s starting to feel real.
Especially when he FaceTimes his mother from the garage and yells, “Mum! Look who I’ve got!”
You barely have time to blink before a kind, curious woman appears onscreen, waving excitedly. “Oh, she’s gorgeous! Hello, sweetheart!”
“Hi,” you laugh, suddenly weirdly nervous. “It’s lovely to meet you.”
“Don’t let him get away with anything,” she says warmly. “He’s always been a cheeky one.”
“Mum,” Lando whines, red in the ears.
You smile. “I’ll keep him in line. Royal decree.”
His mum howls with laughter. “Oh, I like her.”
After the call ends, Lando’s quiet for a second, just watching you like he’s never seen you before.
“What?” You ask.
He shrugs, softly. “Nothing. Just … you’re good with my family.”
You nudge his shoulder. “And you brought a duchess to meet your mum over FaceTime in a dirty motorhome. What a catch.”
He grins. “The best catch.”
It’s easy. Too easy. And that’s what makes the next part harder.
***
You find out about the betrothal preparations by accident.
You’re in your suite, half-watching footage from practice, when your phone buzzes with a message from Martine.
Draft of formal announcement attached. Parliament reviewing wording. Father approved. Event tentatively scheduled for end of month.
You stare at the screen. You knew they were talking. You just didn’t know it had escalated.
The file opens to a beautifully typeset letter with phrases like With deep joy, the Grand Ducal Family announces … and in celebration of the enduring relationship between Luxembourg and the international community …
Your name. Lando’s name. Your actual engagement.
You blow out a slow, quiet breath. “… Right,” you murmur.
Because this was never supposed to get that far. This was supposed to be a joke. A misinterpreted hat and a string of PR saves. Something temporary. Something ridiculous.
And now it’s a royal decree in waiting.
***
You don’t tell Lando right away.
You’re not sure how. Or when. Or even if it’ll matter. Part of you wants to see if he’s catching on.
The problem is — he is. But not in the way you expect.
You catch him in the paddock later that afternoon, pressed up against a journalist with a tight smile and a voice that sounds … off.
“We’re just having fun,” he’s saying. “I mean, obviously we’re fond of each other, but come on, it’s been, what, a few weeks? Everyone’s reading into things too much. It’s not, like … real real.”
You freeze. Your chest does something strange.
“Fake engagement,” the reporter repeats, scribbling fast. “So you’d call it fake?”
“No — well — I mean, it’s a misunderstanding. But like, funny. Silly. Not serious-serious. I’m not actually about to marry-”
He looks up.
Sees you.
His mouth shuts instantly.
You turn on your heel before he can say your name.
***
He finds you later in the hospitality suite, tucked into a corner booth with your legs crossed and your arms folded tight. You’re wearing sunglasses even though you’re indoors. It’s not sunny.
“Hey,” he says, breathless like he ran. “Can we talk?”
You don’t look at him. “You should go.”
“Please don’t be mad-”
“I’m not mad,” you say. “I’m just confused.”
He slides in across from you. “About what?”
You take off your sunglasses slowly, like peeling back a layer of yourself.
“Are you embarrassed?” You ask, quiet but steady. “Of me?”
His eyes widen. “What? No!”
“Because I heard you,” you say. “With the press. Like I’m some PR stunt you’re trying to backpedal.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?”
He opens his mouth. Closes it.
“I didn’t think they’d take it this seriously,” he says finally. “I thought we were just having fun.”
Your expression doesn’t change. “Is that all it is to you?”
He fidgets. “I don’t know.”
You let the silence settle like dust between you.
“Do you think I chose to be born into this?” You ask, softer now. “The titles. The politics. The fact that I can’t even order a burger without it being international news?”
“No, of course not-”
“I’ve spent every day of my life playing by someone else’s rules,” you say. “And then this — this accident, this whole engagement — it’s the first time I’ve actually liked the story I’m in. And you’re out here telling everyone exactly how fake it is.”
Lando looks like he’s been slapped. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”
“Well, you did.”
You stand.
He reaches for your wrist, but you step back.
“I have to go,” you say. “My advisors are expecting me. We’re planning a fake betrothal gala.”
Your voice cracks a little on the last word.
And then you walk away.
You don’t see the look on Lando’s face as you leave. But if you had, you’d see it plain as day:
Regret. Real, gut-punching regret.
***
Lando’s been outside your hotel for thirty-six minutes.
Thirty-six minutes of pacing, kicking the heel of his sneaker against a marble step, and trying to figure out if knocking on the door of a royal suite gets him arrested. Or excommunicated. Or worse — rejected.
He’s holding a paper bag.
Inside is an apology attempt in the form of your favorite milkshake (two straws, vanilla with caramel swirl), a squished pastry from the café you liked down the block, and a note that says I suck but I’d like to stop sucking, please?
He stares at the door. Then knocks, fast, before he can lose his nerve.
When it swings open, you’re there. Barefoot, in an oversized t-shirt and a messy bun. You look tired. And beautiful. And like you haven’t made up your mind about forgiving him.
“You came all this way to give me diabetes?” You ask.
He lifts the bag sheepishly. “There’s also emotional vulnerability in here. Limited edition.”
You lean against the doorframe. “How limited?”
“Like … might expire in fifteen minutes if left at room temperature?”
Your mouth quirks. “Alright, come in.”
He steps inside. There are no royal advisors. No handlers. No headlines. Just you. And the thudding panic in his chest.
“I brought peace offerings,” he says, unloading the bag onto the table like a raccoon presenting stolen treasure. “Pastry. Milkshake. Handwritten note, because I’m a man of old-school charm and no real plan.”
You sit down across from him, legs folded under you. “Didn’t peg you for the note-writing type.”
“Yeah, well, I panicked halfway through and drew a sad face instead of finishing a sentence.”
You pick it up, scan it. Then lift your eyes to his. “You really drew a sad face next to the word ‘unworthy’?”
He winces. “In hindsight, it was maybe too on the nose.”
Silence.
You take a long sip of milkshake. “Why did you say it wasn’t real?”
Lando swallows hard. “Because I freaked out.”
“That’s not an answer.”
He nods. Rubs the back of his neck. Then looks at you, really looks at you.
“You’re a duchess,” he says. “A literal royal. You speak six languages and have a coat of arms, and every photo of you looks like a Vogue cover. And me? I crash scooters into things and get told off by Zak for being late to briefings because I got distracted by pigeons.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Pigeons?”
“Look, they were doing funny head bobs, alright?”
You huff a laugh. He presses on.
“I didn’t say it wasn’t real because I don’t want it to be,” he says, voice low now. “I said it because I didn’t think I deserved it. Deserved you.”
That catches you off guard. You blink. “You think I’d pretend to be engaged to someone I didn’t think was worth my time?”
“You agreed to it because of a hat, Your Highness,” he points out. “Not exactly a high bar.”
You throw a pillow at him. He catches it, grinning, but there’s something earnest in his eyes now. Less golden-retriever panic, more quiet honesty.
“I meant it when I said I like being around you,” he says. “Not because of the title or the press or the fact that you can probably have me banished. I like you. The person who steals fries from my plate and makes up stories about strangers in cafes and gets this little line between her eyebrows when she’s pretending not to care.”
You glance away, trying to hide the fact that your heart’s doing the cha-cha.
“I was scared,” he adds. “Still am, kinda.”
“Of what?”
“Of messing this up. Of not knowing where the fake part ends and the real part starts. Of it being real and you not wanting that.”
You stare at him. Then lean forward. And kiss him.
It’s not for show. It’s not for the cameras or the press or the legacy of Luxembourg. It’s just for him.
His breath catches. His fingers curl reflexively around the edge of the table like he’s grounding himself.
When you pull back, you’re still close enough to see the freckle on his cheek, the way his eyes dart to your lips like he’s already memorizing the way you taste.
“That,” you say, “was not fake.”
He exhales, stunned. “Good. Because if it was, I was gonna have to dramatically fall to my knees and declare my love in rhyme.”
You snort. “Please don’t.”
“I had a verse ready,” he insists. “Something about you being the queen of my circuit and the pole position of my heart-”
You groan, but you’re laughing now. He grins wide, basking in it like sunlight.
Then your smile fades, just a little.
“But I don’t want to keep pretending,” you say. “Not like this.”
He nods. “Neither do I.”
“I want it to be real,” you say. “Even if that means stepping back from the public part. Even if that means confusing everyone.”
“Let ‘em be confused,” he says. “I just want to be with you. Not the tabloid version. You.”
You sit there for a moment. Letting the quiet fill the space between words.
Then you reach for his hand.
“I have to make some calls,” you say. “Tell my advisors we’re not doing a state engagement tour.”
Lando bites back a smirk. “Damn. I had already picked out a tiara to match my race suit.”
You stand, tug him up with you. “Help me sneak out the back?”
He beams. “Always.”
***
An hour later, you’re both in disguises — hoodies, sunglasses, and the kind of hats you only wear when you’re actively avoiding being recognized.
You walk along the water like two teenagers skipping class. Lando swings your hand between you.
“You know,” he says casually, “I don’t even mind if you tell your family we broke up.”
You glance at him. “What, you want me to text my father hey, sorry, not actually marrying the F1 driver?”
He shrugs. “I mean, if you want. But like, add a smiley face so he doesn’t hate me.”
You stop walking.
“Lando,” you say, turning to face him. “He doesn’t hate you.”
“You sure? He looked like he wanted to adopt me and throw me in a dungeon over video call.”
You roll your eyes. “He likes you. He’s just never had to deal with this kind of scandal before. Luxembourg is … very traditional.”
Lando’s quiet for a second. “Do you ever wish you weren’t royal?”
You hesitate. “Sometimes.”
“Because it’s lonely?”
You nod. “Because it’s … scripted. Every word. Every move. Every smile.”
He squeezes your hand. “Then let’s unscript it.”
You look up at him.
And in that moment — no palace, no cameras, no ancient traditions — you believe it.
This thing between you isn’t part of the plan. But maybe it’s the best part.
***
The Château de Berg looks exactly like a place where people wear sashes unironically.
Lando stands at the base of the grand staircase, fiddling with the cuff of his tux, while you float down the steps like you’ve been doing this since birth — which, frankly, you have.
You’re in navy silk and diamonds. He’s in mild, manageable panic.
“You okay?” You ask when you reach him.
He stares at you. “You look like a Bond girl. I look like I got lost on my way to a wedding I wasn't invited to.”
“You look great.”
“Yeah, great and very much like a commoner infiltrating the kingdom.”
You roll your eyes, looping your arm through his. “You’re my date, remember?”
“Right. Your real date now. Not just the guy who caused a constitutional crisis with a baseball cap.”
“That was a team hat,” you correct. “And technically, it’s a national treasure now.”
He laughs, but there’s a beat of silence as you both step into the gala ballroom.
Because everyone is watching.
Every. Single. Person.
Politicians, nobles, press photographers, distant cousins who’ve probably never spoken to you but now feel emotionally invested in your relationship status. All of them freeze slightly when they see you walk in.
And then Lando does the most Lando thing imaginable. He squeezes your hand. In full view of everyone. No hesitation.
Your spine, trained by decades of royal etiquette, goes rigid for a half second, then softens. You glance at him.
He just smiles.
“Do I bow to anyone?” He asks under his breath.
“You could,” you whisper back. “But that would be weird.”
“So I shouldn’t curtsy either?”
“I swear to God, Lando-”
“Just checking.”
You lead him through the crowd, nodding politely to various dignitaries who eye Lando with expressions ranging from bemused to is that the F1 boy who did the shoey that one time?
When a Luxembourgish minister tries to corner you with questions about heritage tourism initiatives, Lando — beautiful, clueless, brilliant Lando — steps in and distracts him by asking detailed questions about the country’s road safety infrastructure.
He even nods seriously. “Roundabouts are so underrated, man.”
You almost choke on champagne.
Later, after the violinist finishes a performance so somber you briefly feel like you should repent for something, you tug Lando away toward one of the quieter wings of the palace.
He follows without question. “We sneaking out again? Because I don’t think I’m dressed for burgers.”
“Not this time,” you say, leading him through a hall lined with portraits of monarchs in very large ruffled collars.
You open a door.
The room inside is small by royal standards — still the size of a generous hotel suite — but softly lit and quiet. At the center, on a velvet pedestal, rests a crown.
Not a cartoonish, jewel-encrusted monstrosity. But elegant. Heavy-looking. Steeped in history.
Lando freezes. “Wait. Is that-”
“The ceremonial crown,” you say. “For the heir.”
He blinks. “So … yours.”
You nod.
He steps closer, squinting. “It looks really … shiny.”
“That’s the gold.”
“Right. Of course. Just, y’know, very crown-y.”
You raise a brow. “You want to try it on?”
His head snaps up. “Am I allowed to?”
“Absolutely not.”
He grins. “So obviously I have to.”
You gesture to the nearby armchair like a royal game show host. “Then kneel.”
He hesitates. “Like, actually?”
“If you want the crown, yes.”
He kneels.
It’s chaotic, awkward, and completely him — one knee down, then wobbling a bit because his dress shoes have no grip. You bite back a laugh.
“You sure you’re ready for this responsibility, Mr. Norris?”
He places a hand dramatically on his heart. “I solemnly swear to not crash into any world leaders on a scooter.”
You lift the crown carefully from its stand.
It’s heavier than you remember. Or maybe it’s just that Lando’s looking up at you with that dopey grin, eyes crinkled, like he thinks this is the best joke you’ve ever played on him.
You lower it toward his head, pausing just above.
Then say, soft and teasing, “Do you swear loyalty to the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg?”
He blinks.
Then something changes in his expression. Something unguarded.
“I swear loyalty to you,” he says, quiet now.
Your breath catches. And for a moment, it isn’t funny anymore.
You look down at him. Kneeling. Grinning still, but less exaggerated. Less ironic.
And you feel it — the shift. That terrifying, impossible weight in your chest.
You want it to be true. All of it.
Not just the fake engagement. Not just the headlines or the banter or the jokes about tiaras.
You want him.
The chaos. The kindness. The fierce way he holds your hand in front of a room full of people who’ve probably written dissertations on protocol.
You set the crown down beside him.
“Too heavy?” He asks.
You sit across from him. “Too real.”
Lando folds his legs under him, now seated on the floor in full tuxedo, just inches away. “You okay?”
“I don’t know,” you admit.
“Because I said something dumb again?”
You shake your head. “Because you said something honest.”
He rests his chin on your knee.
“That’s the thing about crowns,” he murmurs. “They look like jokes until they’re not.”
You meet his eyes.
And maybe he sees something in yours, because he adds, “Hey, I’m not asking you to make me royal. I’m just saying … you don’t have to wear the heavy stuff alone.”
You don’t kiss him this time.
You just lean your forehead against his and stay there, hearts thudding in tandem.
The velvet. The gold. The hush of history around you.
And him.
The boy who kneeled because you dared him to. And meant every word he said.
***
Silverstone is humming.
The air crackles with adrenaline and overpriced beer and the unmistakable scent of burnt rubber. British flags wave like it’s a national holiday — because in a way, it is. It’s Lando’s home race, and every person within a five-mile radius not cheering for Lewis Hamilton is wearing something papaya. The grandstands are alive with chants and cheers. It’s chaos. Beautiful, electric chaos.
And somehow, you’re in the middle of it.
Again.
You’re not in a palace. Not under a chandelier or beside a velvet rope. You're in a paddock full of sweaty engineers and excited children and a camera crew who keeps zooming in a little too often. The sky above is a mess of clouds that can't decide whether to rain or behave. It feels real. Unfiltered. Like the first inhale after you’ve been holding your breath for years.
Lando is glowing.
Not literally. (Although he’s so ridiculously tanned from being outside that he might be.)
He’s just … alive. In his element. Grinning like a kid who got handed the keys to a rollercoaster.
“Mate,” he says to a McLaren engineer, “if we shave 0.2 off sector two, I’ll get you a beer the size of your head. Swear.”
Then he catches your eye across the garage, and the grin softens. Changes. Like he can’t quite believe you’re there.
“You showed up,” he says, walking over. His suit is half-zipped, gloves dangling from one hand, hair a little flattened by a headset.
You raise an eyebrow. “I said I would.”
“Yeah, but sometimes I think you’ve got a kingdom to run or — what do you call it — ancient royal responsibilities?”
You smile. “I rearranged Luxembourg’s strategic policy briefings to be here. So you better win.”
“Oh God,” he mutters. “National pressure.”
You reach into your bag.
He narrows his eyes. “What’s that?”
“A surprise.”
“Is it a scepter? Please tell me it’s a scepter.”
You pull out a hat.
Not just any hat.
It’s a custom McLaren cap — deep orange with black trim, his driver number embroidered in silver thread on the side, and a small, discreet crest of Luxembourg stitched into the underside of the brim.
Lando blinks. “Wait. What — ”
“I had it made,” you say, holding it out. “For you.”
His mouth opens. Then closes. Then opens again. “You made me a hat?”
“Technically I designed it. Royal prerogative.”
He takes it reverently, like it might shatter in his hands.
“Try it on,” you say.
He does.
And you reach up, slow and deliberate, to adjust it — placing it gently on his head.
The way he did with you in Monaco.
The way you now know means something in your culture.
It’s not just cute. It’s not just a gesture.
It’s a statement.
There’s a beat.
A collective inhale from the crowd around you, like everyone saw it and knows.
Someone’s camera shutter clicks.
Then another.
Then three more.
Somewhere, a tabloid headline is practically writing itself.
Lando stares at you under the brim.
“You just …” he starts, voice low.
“Balanced the scales,” you finish. “You gave me yours first.”
His mouth quirks up. “This means I’m the Grand Duchess now, yeah?”
“You would make a terrible duchess.”
He scoffs. “I’d be brilliant.”
“You’d try to turn the royal palace into a karting circuit.”
“I would never-” He pauses. “Okay, I would. But like … a tasteful one.”
You both dissolve into laughter.
The kind that catches you off guard and settles somewhere deep in your ribs.
The kind that means this — whatever this is — isn’t just temporary anymore.
***
Later, while Lando’s giving a pre-qualifying interview, a reporter points to the hat.
“Custom cap today, Lando?” She asks with a wink.
He glances toward you, watching from the edge of the pit wall in sunglasses and a smug little smile.
Lando shrugs. “Gift.”
“From the Duchess?”
His face turns ten shades of red. “Maybe.”
“Looks like a pretty serious gesture.”
He scratches his neck, sheepish. “I mean, if you’re lucky enough to get one, yeah … you hold onto it.”
The clip goes viral before the session even starts.
***
After qualifying, he finds you waiting beside the McLaren motorhome, arms crossed, foot tapping in mock impatience.
“You said you’d get pole,” you tease.
“I said I’d try. Which I did. Very hard. Max just exists to ruin my life.”
You loop your fingers through his. “I’m still proud of you.”
“Even with P2?”
“Especially with P2.”
He shifts his weight. “They’re calling it the Reverse Proposal now. On Twitter. The hat thing.”
You roll your eyes. “Of course they are.”
“I’m trending with your country’s name. I’m not even in Luxembourg.”
“Give it a week. You’ll probably be knighted.”
Lando leans closer. “Would you stay?”
“Hm?”
“After the race. Stay in the UK a little longer. I’ll take you to my hometown. My mum’ll feed you way too much and ask if I’m behaving.”
You smile. “And what would you say?”
“That I’m doing my best.”
You brush a hand through his hair, just under the brim of the cap.
“You’re doing more than that,” you whisper. “You’re making me feel like I’m not just … a crown.”
Lando’s eyes soften.
“You’re not,” he says. “You’re everything but that.”
The cameras catch you leaning into him.
Not for show. Not for press.
Just because.
And somewhere, miles away, in a palace covered in polished marble and a thousand years of history, a staffer is already drafting a new press release.
Not for a fake engagement. Not for a tradition accidentally triggered.
But maybe, just maybe …
For the real thing.
***
It starts like a joke.
The kind Lando makes when he’s nervous. Fidgeting with his hoodie strings, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet, saying things like “Right, so if this goes terribly wrong, I can still blame the British weather, yeah?”
You’re in London. More specifically, you’re in a hidden garden tucked behind a historic townhouse, the kind with ivy climbing up old brick walls and roses blooming like they’re performing for royalty. (They probably are.) You’re only in town for a few days — official meetings, diplomatic appearances, a quiet dinner with a visiting Luxembourgish minister. Nothing too scandalous. Nothing that would make the papers.
Until now.
You glance at him suspiciously. “Why are you being weird?”
“I’m not being weird,” Lando says, very much being weird.
“You’re sweating.”
“It’s thirty degrees and I’m in long sleeves.”
“You’re in a hoodie. Like a gremlin.”
“First of all, rude.”
You cross your arms, stepping in front of him on the cobbled garden path. “What are we doing here, Lando?”
His grin flickers. Just for a second.
Then he exhales.
“Okay, right. So. I wanted to do this somewhere quiet. Somewhere just … us.”
Your eyebrows rise.
“Not in a castle. Not in front of the entire European Parliament. Just … with birds and, like, a suspiciously photogenic squirrel over there.”
You blink. “Are you okay?”
He reaches into the pocket of his hoodie.
And pulls out a hat.
Not just any hat.
The hat.
The one from Monaco. The one he placed on your head the day everything spiraled. The one that started a thousand headlines and at least one constitutional debate. The one you lost your mind over when it mysteriously vanished from your closet last week.
“Is that-”
He nods, sheepish. “Yeah. I, uh … borrowed it.”
“You stole it.”
“Temporarily.”
“Lando!”
“I had a plan!”
You laugh, half outraged, half flattered. “You absolute menace.”
He steps closer, holding the cap in both hands now. And suddenly, he’s not fidgeting. Not bouncing. Just looking at you like the rest of the world has gone silent.
“I was gonna get a ring,” he says. “I have a ring. But I thought maybe this … this felt more us.”
You stop breathing.
He takes a breath for you.
“I didn’t know what I was doing back then. When I gave you this. I didn’t know who you were or what that meant or how much that one tiny moment would mess up my entire life in the best way possible.”
You blink fast.
“Lando …”
“And now I do. Know. Everything. I know who you are. I know what you carry. And I know I want to carry it with you.”
He swallows. The cap shifts in his hands.
“So, yeah. This is stupid and not shiny and it’s probably sweaty. But it’s ours.”
Then — slowly, deliberately — he places it back on your head.
And kneels.
Not dramatically. Not performatively.
Just … reverently.
Like a man who understands now what he didn’t back then.
“Will you marry me?” He says. “For real this time?”
Silence.
Except your heartbeat.
And the click of a single camera shutter — because of course someone, somewhere, caught it.
You don’t care.
You kneel, too.
And kiss him.
Right there in the dirt and roses and British humidity.
“Yes,” you say against his smile. “Obviously, yes.”
***
The palace releases a statement two hours later.
Their Royal Highnesses the Grand Duke and Grand Duchess are pleased to confirm the engagement of Her Royal Highness the Hereditary Grand Duchess Y/N Y/L/N to Mr. Lando Norris.
You pass the phone to Lando.
He stares at it like it might explode.
“Oh my God,” he says. “It’s real. It’s really real.”
And then he pulls out his phone.
“You’re not tweeting,” you warn.
“I’m absolutely tweeting.”
You watch over his shoulder as he types.
@LandoNorris: turns out giving someone your hat is a big deal 👀
also turns out i’m marrying the love of my life
brb crying 🧡👑
You groan. “You put emojis in your engagement tweet.”
“Of course I did.”
“I’m going to be monarch someday and you just used the eyeball emoji.”
“Should’ve thought of that before you said yes.”
He turns to the camera crews still filming.
“She said yes, by the way!” He calls out. “Like, for real this time! Sorry to disappoint anyone still holding out for a princess fantasy. She’s mine now.”
You bury your face in your hands.
It’s absurd.
It’s embarrassing.
It’s … perfect.
Somewhere, your father is probably watching the livestream and toasting with vintage champagne. Somewhere else, Parliament is scrambling to schedule a press conference. And somewhere even farther away, an ancient Luxembourgish historian is definitely writing a very dry academic paper titled “The Sociopolitical Implications of Cap-Based Courtship in the 21st Century.”
But all you can see is Lando.
Grinning like the sun.
Yours.
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robbysreaders · 2 months ago
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pairing: jack abbot x f!reader warnings: age gap (unspecified, but reader is late 20s/he's late 40s) word count: 500ish notes: a spiritual successor to my casual but not casual drabble (here it is if you are curious but you don't need to read it enjoy this one.) be kind to me, i am not a writer but dr. jack abbot is a menace who i cannot stop thinking about so you all must suffer with me.
Your phone buzzes against the sticky surface of the bar table, lit up with Jack Abbot and a photo you secretly took of him eating fries and scowling at the menu.
You grin, already a little too tipsy, and slide your finger across the screen.
“Hey, old man,” you say, standing up to find somewhere a little quieter.
You’re met with that low, dry voice you already know so well: “Please tell me that’s your third drink, not your sixth.”
You look around at the table — your best friends, all glittery and flushed and loud. “...Define sixth.”
You hear him chuckle on the other end. “Having fun?”
“Mhm. They made me take a lemon drop shot. And then a photo booth happened. Probably banned from karaoke now.”
Jack’s quiet for a beat. You know that pause — he’s doing a mental check. Are you safe? Are you happy? Are you going to try and walk home in heels again?
“I’ll get an Uber to yours in a bit,” you add. “Once I wrestle my dignity out from under the table.”
“Nah,” he says. “Tell me when you're wrapping up. I’ll come get you.”
You blink. “Wait—what? No, you worked all day. I’ll be fine—”
“I want to.”
“Jack—”
“I’d rather pick you up and make sure you don’t forget your purse like last time.”
You can hear the smile in his voice. That stubborn, I’m-doing-this-my-way kind of tenderness he never admits out loud.
You hang up. Blush. Immediately tell your friends.
Cue the chaos.
Twenty minutes later, Jack pulls up in his beat-up pickup truck and steps out, wearing a hoodie, jeans, and an expression that says I was not emotionally prepared for this level of perfume and sequins.
Your friends? Obsessed instantly.
He opens the passenger door for you like a goddamn gentleman, then circles back to help your friend Jess climb into the back, muttering, “Watch your step — last time someone faceplanted outta here was Robby after four bourbons.”
He gets everyone in, seatbelts checked, directions logged into his GPS.
You glance over at him — one hand on the wheel and one on your thigh, calm in a sea of giggles and Taylor Swift echoing from someone’s phone.
“You didn’t have to do this,” you whisper.
He just looks over, squeezes your knee, and says, “I wanted to.”
One by one, he drops each friend at their door. Waits until they’re inside. Waves when they call out “Thanks, Dr. McSteamy!” and “Tell him he’s gotta clone himself!”
Finally, it’s just you.
Tipsy. Warm. Full of something that has nothing to do with alcohol.
You glance over at him again. “They love you.”
“They’re very loud about it.”
You laugh. “They said I have to keep you.”
He smirks. “That right?”
You nod. “You making it hard to argue.”
He pulls into your driveway, cuts the engine, and looks over at you with that soft kind of affection he’s still not used to showing.
“Good,” he says. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”
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sixeyesonathiel · 28 days ago
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satoru’s just a centuries-old vampire trying to blend in at uni, but you—his clingy, masochistic, and weirdly romantic bloodbag—keep ruining his cover (and his self-control) with love bites and reckless affection.
freaky pt. 2 don’t click unless ur a freak | masterlist.
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satoru doesn’t understand how he got here. how he went from being the bloodthirsty, ageless menace of vampire folklore to sitting in the campus caf with an econ textbook, a blood sugar spike, and his absolutely deranged girlfriend tangled around him like a fever dream he forgot to wake up from. a very clingy fever dream. a limpet. a warm, slightly-bleeding parasite he has somehow imprinted on like a very stupid duckling.
well. maybe he does know how. it’s you. it’s always you. you, with your warm pulse and warmer eyes and unshakeable belief that pain equals affection. you, who walk around with band-aids in your bag that aren’t even for you. you, who offer your blood like it’s a bag of chips at a party. he’s survived centuries. inquisitions. the invention of the microwave. a taylor swift era he will never emotionally recover from.
and yet one breathy, “baby, i’m dizzy... drink me,” and this thousand-year-old apex predator is half-hard and suckling your wrist like a juice pouch. like a capri sun, if capri suns came with giggles and a moan.
he’s not proud of it. well. he is. but he won’t say that out loud.
he’s supposed to be blending in. the plan was simple. enroll, lay low, graduate, don’t fall in love with a psychotic bloodbag who thinks blood in a transfusion pouch is “sterile and emotionally distant.” he was going to ace his classes, eat mystery meat from the caf, and maybe grow a man bun. but no. you showed up. you with your sleepy eyes and compulsive need for skin-to-skin contact. you with the kind of scent that makes his fangs throb and his frontal lobe go static.
he shifts in his seat, dragging his textbook higher on his lap to hide the frankly criminal situation in his jeans. you squirm in his lap like you know, legs swinging lazily, cheek squished into the crook of his neck. your nose twitches a little, like a rabbit. one of your fingers is wrapped around the hoodie drawstring, the other gently poking at his ribs like a particularly affectionate woodpecker. it’s his hoodie. oversized, black, now faintly stained with the scent of your shampoo. he doesn’t want it back.
“you drank my breakfast,” you mumble, your voice a sleepy, petulant little thing. it buzzes against his throat like a threat and a plea all at once.
satoru groans. not from guilt—he has none—but from the sheer absurdity of this dynamic. he taps your nose with a knuckle, smirking despite himself.
“you climbed through my window at 3 a.m. and sat on my face. i thought it was a trade.”
you lean back just far enough to give him a look. that look. the one with narrowed eyes and twitching lips, the one that says you’re mad and loving it. your hair’s a mess. your eye bags are adorable. he wants to cradle your head and also maybe bonk it against a soft wall.
“don’t pretend like you didn’t like it. you purred.”
“vampires don’t purr,” he says, clearly lying.
“you made a sound. it was feral. like a cat being offered rotisserie chicken.”
“i was dying,” he tries.
“you were moaning.”
his mouth opens, then closes. his eyebrow twitches. he hates how easily you win.
“you can’t keep skipping meals just so i’ll drink from you,” he mutters, trying to nuzzle into your hair and hide his shame. you smell like sweat, sugar, and fabric softener. and blood. always blood. he hates how good it smells. how safe it smells.
you hum, fiddling with the drawstring again. “i like when you drink from me. it’s romantic. also, it stings. in a good way. like heartbreak and exfoliation.”
he chokes. on air. or pride. or both. because what the fuck does that even mean. heartbreak and exfoliation?? you say things like that with a straight face. he’s going to die of cringe and love.
his fangs throb. he tilts his head away before instinct takes over and he bites you in front of god and econ majors.
“people are staring,” he mutters, mostly to his own dignity.
“let them,” you whisper, and then, you bite him. right on the shoulder. through the hoodie. not hard, but with intent.
he flinches, ears ringing. his hand flies to your waist, gripping tighter. you giggle, eyes shining with delight.
he wants to throw you across the room and then chase after you like a cartoon villain with a bouquet. he wants to handcraft you a coffin with silk sheets. he wants to bite you and then tuck you in with a heating pad. he is not okay.
he drinks from you again that night. you kiss his cheek, brush his hair back, and murmur filthy, loving nonsense in his ear until he caves. he always caves.
you’re on his bed, straddling his lap, hoodie slipping off one shoulder. you tilt your head, breath hitching as his fangs sink in. your hands are in his hair, tugging just enough to make him groan. he licks over the bite gently, trying not to bite again just from how pretty you look blinking up at him like he’s the only thing in the world.
“you’re obsessed with me,” you say, dreamy and drunk on blood loss.
he pulls back, lips wet, pupils dilated. he licks his fangs. he tries to look annoyed. he probably just looks lovesick.
“you just thanked me for biting you.”
“yeah,” you sigh. “you’re my favorite pain.”
he stares. you smile. he shoves his hoodie sleeve over your face like a curtain, mostly so you don’t see how red his ears are.
he thinks he should probably feel guilty. or concerned. or call a priest. instead, he just feels this stupid, gnawing devotion that makes his stomach hurt and his hands shake and his soul vibrate in weird little circles around you.
you shift in his lap, content and bleeding and smiling like you’ve won the lottery. he’s the prize. you treat him like one. like he’s special. like he’s not a monster. it undoes him. every time.
he sighs. you hum. his hand slips under the hem of your hoodie and finds skin. warm. alive.
he’s doomed. hopelessly, gloriously, pathetically doomed.
and for once in his stupid long life, it feels like the best mistake he’s ever made.
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dracosprettygirl · 2 months ago
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random thought but
draco is SUCH a sophisticated boyfriend, no doubt using his money to impress you...
also he's the type to constantly tease you about every little thing you do, and when you finally break, he's there to comfort you and apologize by buying you an entire flower shop or something
۶ৎ say that again, princess
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Pairing: draco malfoy x reader Word Count: 852 words Summary: Draco Malfoy is a rich, refined menace—always teasing, always smug, and always five steps ahead with a credit limit that could end wars. When his teasing finally goes too far and leaves you hurt, he apologizes just as he does everything else—with class. Warnings: fem!reader; female-centric nicknames (princessl); teasing; suggestive tension; emotional overwhelm; Draco being an expensive menace; not proofread; let me know if i missed any! A/N: i love this and i had to write this.
♫ suburban legends by taylor swift.
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Draco Malfoy had the audacity to be that boyfriend.
The tailored-coat, glass-of-scotch, private-box-at-the-Quidditch-stadium boyfriend. The I’ll have my tailor deliver it in two sizes, just in case boyfriend. The I noticed your perfume was running low so I bought the company boyfriend.
He kissed your fingers in public. Opened doors with casual grace. Had opinions about cutlery. You were convinced he’d made a Horcrux in every bottle of vintage wine he owned.
And Merlin, he loved to tease.
“Did you just gasp at a chandelier?”
“It’s just the way you eat strawberries—very... committed, my love.”
“Darling, are you flirting with the spaniel at the next table or is that just your resting face?”
You didn’t even mean to be sensitive about it. But the teasing never let up. Not mean. Not cruel. But constant. Sharp and smug and golden-tongued.
So when it happened—when you finally cracked—it took both of you by surprise.
It started after the last Malfoy Charity Gala. He’d spent the whole evening with his hand on the small of your back, murmuring clever little jabs in your ear while sipping champagne like the devil personified.
You’d smiled politely when he joked about your nervous laugh. Laughed tightly when he teased the way you stumbled over your words around his friends. Brushed it off when he smirked, “You’re lucky you’re pretty,” after you misquoted some Ministry headline.
You held it together all the way back to his penthouse.
Until you didn’t.
You were halfway through unzipping your gown when you snapped, voice sharper than you meant:
“Do you ever shut up and just let me exist without commentary?”
Draco froze, mid-loosened tie, watching you from across the room. “Excuse me?”
You blinked. Then immediately hated the way your throat tightened.
You dropped your dress and turned from him, standing in your slip with your arms crossed. “Nothing. Forget it.”
“No.” His voice was quiet now. Controlled. “Say it again.”
You clenched your jaw. “I’m tired, Draco.”
“Of me?”
You didn’t answer. Which, of course, was its own answer.
He exhaled, long and low, then crossed the room with slow, deliberate steps. “That wasn’t teasing,” he said softly, standing just behind you. “That last one. That was me being a bit of a prick.”
“Draco—”
“Don’t.” He touched your shoulder, then your waist, gently pulling you around to face him. His expression had shifted completely—gone was the smugness, replaced with a guilt you weren’t used to seeing from him. “You didn’t deserve that. None of it.”
You tried to deflect. “It’s fine—”
“It’s not,” he interrupted. “I’m used to being cruel and charming in equal measure, and you let me get away with too much because you’re... soft with me.” His hand slid down to yours. “I forget you’re still getting used to this world.”
You blinked. “This world?”
He gestured vaguely around the penthouse. The crystal and marble. The towering skyline outside. “All of this. Me.”
“You’re not a burden, Draco. You’re not an inconvenience that takes getting used to.”
“No,” he agreed, “I’m an arrogant bastard with more money than sense who flirts by antagonizing.”
You let out a shaky laugh despite yourself. “You said it, not me.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, stepping closer, pressing his forehead to yours. “I’ll do better.”
You nodded, letting yourself lean into him—into the familiar scent of his cologne, the soft wool of his shirt.
“And tomorrow,” he added, “we’re going shopping.”
You groaned. “If this is your way of fixing everything with diamonds—”
“No,” he said, voice smug again—but softer this time. “Not diamonds.”
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The next day, you woke up to two very unexpected things:
A tray of breakfast with exactly how you like your eggs and tea.
A pair of designer flats in your size and a note: Wear these. We’re walking.
You groggily threw on the most comfortable outfit you could find and the shoes, and found Draco downstairs, waiting beside the fireplace in a turtleneck and coat that probably cost more than your rent. He grinned like a man with a secret.
“We’re not Apparating?” you asked, suspicious.
“Nope,” he said. “Too dramatic.”
He took your hand.
And walked you six blocks to a flower shop.
Correction: a flower shop with a SOLD sign on the door… and a bouquet in the window labeled “Reserved for the Girl Who Deserves Everything.”
You turned slowly. “Draco.”
He looked very proud of himself.
“You bought me... an entire shop.”
“Well, I bought it for you. That’s different.”
You gaped.
“Don’t worry,” he added, smirking, “You don’t have to run it. But you do get to take whatever you want. And I had them name a rose after you. The blush ones with the gold-tipped petals. Your favorite.”
You stared at him, jaw slack.
“Too much?” he asked, mock-thoughtful. “I debated a bookstore too, but I figured one act of emotional damage control at a time.”
You let out a laugh that ended in a sob and launched yourself into his arms.
“Gods, I hate you,” you mumbled into his coat.
He chuckled. “That’s fair.”
“And I love you.”
“Also fair.”
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taglist !
@belovedenzo
© dracosprettygirl.tumblr 2025. do not copy, translate or claim any of my works as your own. reblogs & comments are greatly appreciated & motivating!
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gldrushh · 3 months ago
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GUILTY AS SIN? | JK | PART 𝐈𝐈
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"Jungkook remembered how to make his feet stay put and you learned that some things are worth the mess, that love sometimes comes too late, but longing never does."
→ Pairing brother in law! Jungkook x widowed fem!reader
→ Genre forbidden love! au, childhood friends to lovers, angst, smut, fluff
→W.C 17.10k
→ Warnings oc is going through it, Jungkook is a flirty menace, ceo jk, lovesick jk, simp jk, possessive Jungkook, jealous Jungkook, rich people lunch time!!, mentions of blood and injury, mentions of drinking, yoongi makes an appearance, he has no lines, namjin, yearning?, bathroom escapdes, silly banter, sexual tension kissing, making out, explicit sexual content, fingering, an almost handjob, penetrative sex, dirty talking, soft Dom jk, praising, creampie, bathroom sex, fluff (you don't even wanna know my definition of fluff), hoseok is a victim, minho is haunting the narrative as he should, angst (sorry girls It’s my brand 😝), doomed siblings
→ Playlist dress by Taylor swift, I can't be more in love by the 1975, in the woods somewhere by hozier, I can see you by Taylor swift, last words of a shooting star by mitski
→A/N Hii! Hello!! First things first: THANK YOU. Like, thank you in all caps lock. The love you all poured into Guilty as Sin honestly made me giggle to myself more than once. Every comment, message, share, and heart, It meant the absolute world to me. You’ve made this messy little story so much more than just words. You made it matter. And it was just so disrespectful of me to keep you waiting so long for a part 2 that wasn't really in my plans but yeah. Life got a little too unbearable, the plot bunnies misbehaved (you know how they are). But I really hope it’s worth the wait and not me just reheating my own nachos 😅😅 This is also most probably the last thing I'm gonna write for this story, at least for a long while. Thank you for reading. Thank you for being patient and most importantly,thank you for being kind. I love you and please do let me know your thoughts. Message me. Tell your plants. I'm all ears.
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| PART 1 | PART 2 |
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Mellow is the companion of church. Some would conclude that the church is composed for the quiet even.
They'd argue that it's different from sitting in the silence.
Silence is one thing and quiet is another. silence is an absence, they'd say. Quiet is presence, they'd add. Here more precisely, it's heavy and arcadian and holy.
There was something about the air inside here. Perhaps the solemn, how it was colossal, drenched in allegiance that made the world outside feel far-flung. It could be the height of the towering arches, the glow of candlelight flickering against stained glass, the low murmur of prayers threading through the smother.
The light is softer here too, filtered through the glass. Deadwood of crimson and gold painting benches and pressed shoulders. Candle flames sway slightly, flickering like they know secrets. Maybe they remember everyone who ever sat here in search of something they couldn't name.
You tell yourself this stillness is what you needed. That this space; sacred and slow would help clear your head. But the truth is, the quiet here doesn’t comfort. It exposes. Peels you open from the inside out.
You hear too much in it. Feel too much in it.
Even on days when you could still hear easy synchronicity. Hands clasped, laughter spilling into the cool air. Especially on days like these.
Or maybe you're mixing that up with something else. Something that has been coloring your days blue for a while now.
Something that doesn't pauses for holidays, doesn't make exceptions for birthdays, doesn't even bother to step aside for just one evening and let one breathe.Does not give way to leaded glass windows or the allay of a congregation. No, it lingers, seeps into places meant for worship, curls around the edges of pews and prayers alike. Certainly doesn’t soften on afternoons like these. Even though the flowers hadn’t wilted.
You hadn’t given it much thought.
Or rather, you had avoided thinking about it altogether.
Perhaps that is why, sitting here now—hands folded neatly in your lap, shoulders drawn tight—yet you feel it, heavy as ever.
Your mother-in-law had insisted you come, refusing to leave you alone, her soft-spoken request leaving little room for refusal. Mira had chimed in too, linked her arm through yours with a smile that tried to coax you back into the land of the living, or like she was letting you in on some joke only the two of you shared.
And so, here you were.
Church had never been a place you frequented, even when Minho was alive—he hadn't been particularly devout, preferring to spend bargaining his way through the sunday market and believing in the way the sky could shift from blue to violet in the span of a single evening—though you both had come when his mother had asked you to, of course, had sat beside him in these very pews, but never like this.
Not without him whispering some irreverent joke about heaven’s waiting list, about how maybe angels got bored too.
But now, you found yourself here more often.
If only because there was no reason not to because what waited you was a quiet apartment, a neatly made bed you hardly slept in and a day untouched by plans, by purpose, by anything remotely significant.
Also because you thought he wouldn’t be here.
Your mother-in-law had told you he wouldn’t be able to make it, had mentioned something about work, something about how he's not big on religion, much like his brother and oh, how you’d clung to those words. Let them blanket your nerves in fragile relief. One more hour. One more day of—knowing you wouldn’t have to see him today, that you could go on one more moment pretending you weren't aware of the inevitable, that you weren't unraveling at the seams every time you so much as thought about him.
That, that's why you had been skirting around him.
Maybe not consciously. At least, that’s what it looked like (You knew. Deep down, you knew.) But ever since that night—God, you really don't want to think about that or him in front of.. God without feeling like you're going to burst in flames. But its not exactly easy.
Not here, where the quiet literally wangles you into the deepest darkest of your thoughts. Thoughts that you're sure would.
Because the quiet here curls around your memories like smoke, drawing them out from where you’d hidden them. It coaxes them up your throat and behind your ribs until they’re a dull, burning pressure you can’t shake off.
You shift slightly in the bench. Mira breathes beside you, soft and steady. You press your palms flat against your lap, grounding yourself.
It hardly works. Especially not when he arrives. That strange, electric knowing. Like the air knows him. The space is an old convenient accquitance and adjusts around him.
The low creak of a door, the faintest hush falling over those nearest the back.
Late, quiet, slipping into the back like a ghost who had learned how to walk among the living, embodying every bit of the word 'handsome' in the most tailored of ways. Hair laid out in perfect symmetry. A ironed, muted blue suit hugging every bit of his perfect posture. Eyes so probing, so demanding of attention that you wonder why you ever got confused when everyday a new number of girls would approach you at school, especially at university for his number.
Then he had just been your doe eyed friend who you wanted to spare from heartbreaks. Not aware of the term-"heartbreaker" that had been given to him. Ironic, really.
Now you feel like you understand. You feel like you sense him before you see him. Sense every bit of his presence that you maybe had overlooked before. A shift in the air, the faintest murmur of acknowledgment rippling through the congregation.
Both Mrs Jeon and Mira are turned towards the figure, thier expression brightening in recognition, waving small hands at the figure that is approaching your way, pulse quickening with the footsteps.
No.
He said he doesn't do church.
He wouldn’t.
He wouldn’t sit—
The soft creak of the seat behind you made your breath hitch.
The older woman only smiled, a pleasant suprise. For her, atleast. "Jungkook-ah! You came! Oh, how lovely!"
She's sure the reason is that he is finally letting divinity in, you're sure you're losing yours.
You don’t turn but Mira does as she shifts beside you, knees bumping against yours to smile in greeting. Saying something about how her husband should learn a thing or two from him and give this a try, accompany her once in a while. A deep, warm chuckle in reply hits you square in the back of your head and your shoulders tense.
Low, rich, like warm amber poured over ice.
It lands like a bruise.
Pulses through, that gives away just how real and impossible and close it is.
You swallow hard, keeping your eyes downcast, determined not to react any more. You fix your gaze on the marble altar, on the golden flicker of votive candles.He’s behind you. Of course he is.
Because where else would he be, if not the one place you prayed he wouldn't?
Even as the sermon continued, voices rising in unison for prayer, you could barely hear them, could barely not feel your dirtiest secret behind you, close enough that if you leaned back even slightly, you might brush against him.
The service moves forward, and you try to focus. You try to listen. Tried to will your ears to listen, to stay anchored in psalms and promises and the choir’s distant swell. Just get through this.It couldn’t possibly be so difficult. No one knows. No one suspects a thing. The polished congregation kneels and stands with pedriocity and faith, unaware that your spine was stiff with a secret, that your breath refused to calm. Only you knew. Only he does. And that truth grips your tounge so hard there’s no way it’s ever slipping past your mouth.
But then a touch happens. As if maneuvering. A whisper of movement behind you, so faint it could just be the atoms you are made of shifting, a trick of your mind.
Light. Fleeting. Not direct. Not quite.
Just the faintest brush of fingertips against the ends of your hair that spilled over your shoulders, the softest, most cursory pull. Just a teasing pass, like he’s testing the silk of it between thumb and forefinger. There’s a pause, then the strand is gently looped once, slow and idle, as though he’s turning it over in thought.
Then released.
You freeze because what even is happening?
The answer to that is that it happens again. A lazy twirl of a strand, a slow release of the said strand.
Not enough for anyone to notice. Not enough to draw attention. But enough for you to feel it. Enough to make your skin prickle, your heartbeat stutter. He's been doing a lot of that recently.
You shift in your seat, pressing your hands tighter into your lap, back rod-straight, lungs stuck in a breath that wouldn’t come. The sensation was too distinct now, too exact to mistake.
It doesn’t stop. Another strand. A drag of fingertips. A near-caress.
What the fuck is he doing?
You don’t turn. You don’t react when you should have thrown him a warning glance—but that would mean acknowledging him. That would mean facing him.
And you didn’t know how to look him in the eye and not think about it.
His mouth. His devouring, worshipping mouth. The dammable sound of your name said like orison and profanity.
Didn’t know how to hear his voice and not remember the way how his lips shaped against your skin. Venal. Hungry.
Didn't know how not to follow the tattoos that ran through his sleeve and pretend that you haven't took your time exploring them. Aversly. Teasingly.
Didn’t know how to feel the weight of everything you weren’t supposed to want pressing down on you like a second heartbeat.
The way he had tugged your shirt up with reverence and bitten down like he wanted to leave a mark not even salvation could scrub away.
Do not react.
Do not move.
But he kept going. And the sermon blurred.
Gods, you were going to burn. You were going to hell. And he'd be there already, waiting with his hands in your hair.
When the sermon concludes, you stand too quickly, push your hair forward and Mira shoots you a look, her fingers grazing your wrist in question. You shake your head, offering her a quick, brittle smile before stepping toward the exit. You walked. Out of the stall. Out of the building. Out of your goddamn mind.
To your relief—you were still a perfectly coordinated bundle of cells when you were out. The sun hit you outside, sharp and sudden, dragging long shadows over the stone steps. You sucked in fresh air like someone who had been underwater too long.
The relief lasted long enough until Jungkook spoke under the sun casting long shadows against the stone steps. “I’ll drive.” Voice cutting through the polite chatter.
“Oh, that would be great, dear. Y/N, Mira, come on.” Your mother-in-law, oblivious, beamed, completely unaware that you had just spent forty-five minutes debating if setting yourself on fire in the house of God would be less painful than what had just happened.
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The car ride should be easy.
It should be nothing. A short drive. A forgettable stretch of road between church and the Jeon family estate.
Should be.
But as you are pressed against the window, your coat bunched beneath you like a failed barrier, you want to either open the window for air or bolt from the moving car, with every inch of your skin crawling with awareness, tight and buzzing and flushed in ways that had nothing to do with the temperature.
The cabin is too quiet. Too warm. The low hum of the engine does nothing to drown out the sound of your heart, which feels like it’s beating directly into your throat.
And then there’s that scent again.
The scent of leather and something distinctly Jungkook curling in the closed space. A mix of his cologne—something dark and woodsy—and the faintest trace of laundry detergent, clinging to his shirt like it had no intention of leaving. It shouldn’t be so familiar, but it is. And that’s the problem.
“That sermon was lovely, wasn’t it?” Mrs. Jeon’s voice is light, warm, like freshly baked bread. The kind of voice that belongs in a home, not a car filled with tension so thick it could choke you.
Mira hums in agreement beside you. “It was.”
You blink, only now realizing how little of the service you actually absorbed.
“Of course,” Mrs Jeon continues, turning slightly in her seat, eyes alight with something rebuke, “not everyone was paying attention.”
You tense, breath catching, even when the accusation isn’t aimed at you. You feel it anyway.
“What?” He finally speaks, voice even. A little hoarse, like he hadn’t spoken in hours. Like his vocal cords were dry from silence and prohibition.
“Oh, don’t act like you don’t know, Jungkook-ah." his mother huffs, shaking her head. “You join for the first time ever in a while, sit in the back, and then spend half the time looking like you didn’t even knew where you were." she finishes with a scolding tone.
Jungkook exhales through his nose, hand tightening against the steering wheel. He doesn't argue.
Because It did seem so.
Mira, ever the enabler, bites her lip to stifle a laugh, glancing at you with barely concealed amusement.
You do not look at Jungkook.
You absolutely do not.
Mrs. Jeon, unbothered by the quiet tension thickening in the car, continues, “You know who else was praying a little too hard?”
Silence. No one answers with whatever self preservation they have.
Not because they don’t want to. But because they know better.
Because when Mrs. Jeon starts on church gossip, there’s no stopping her because apparently it's what it's best for.
She leans in, lowering her voice like she’s about to reveal something sacred. “Mrs. Kang.”
Mira gasps dramatically. “No.”
“Oh, yes.” A firm nod. “She was crying, dear. Again. Right in the middle of the third hymn.”
You blink. “Why?”
The older woman tsks, as if the answer should be obvious. “That husband of hers. You know how he is.”
You makes a thoughtful noise, tilting your head. “Didn’t he… move to Seoul?”
“Yes, but does distance stop a man from causing stress? I don’t think so.” You didn't think so too.
Jungkook exhales, long-suffering. “Why do you know all of this, eomma?”
His mother waves a hand dismissively. “Please, son. I hear things.”
Mira leans in. “Did she cry last week too?”
“Of course,” Mrs. Jeon replies. “But last week was because he didn’t call her for three days. This week, I believe he’s dating someone half his age.”
Mira sighs. “Men.”
You let out an involuntary snicker before you can help it. You don’t even know if it’s a real sound or something your soul exhaled out of disbelief.
Then, you make the mistake of glancing toward the front.
Because Jungkook’s eyes are on you.
Not on the road.
Not on his mother, who is still detailing the tragic love life of a woman you barely know.Not at the red light blinking in the distance.
His eyes are dark and unreadable, barely hooded, like he’s watching you and also thinking about the last time you were under him, gasping. Like maybe he’s remembering the way your nails looked against his neck. Or the way you said his name like a prayer, far more pledged than anything the pastor could conjure.
And every so often, you caught him.
The first time, you looked away immediately. The second time, you stared out the window so hard you gave yourself a headache. The third time, you stared back, even as something molten and dangerous simmers in the quiet between you.
His gaze held yours for a beat longer than necessary before shifting back to the road.
Every part of you was aware of him.
Of the way he adjusted his grip on the wheel. Of the way the veins along his forearm flexed when he turned. Of the way he never looked away fast enough.
Mira nudged you gently. “You okay?”
You nodded through the lie. "Fine."
Your mother-in-law again turned in her seat, smiling warmly. “I hope you’ll stay for lunch, Mira. We have invited the kims too. It’s been long overdue." The word ‘lunch’ doesn’t quite capture what’s waiting at the Jeon house.
Because it isn’t just lunch.
It’s crystal glassware, centerpieces too elaborate for a midday meal, and courses that require cutlery you don’t know how to use properly. It's a show that barely masks the subtle flex in it. A performance even, if you will, wrapped in linen napkins and wine pairings. And if you had to guess, this lunch isn’t just a friendly catch-up.
It’s Mrs. Jeon doing what she does best—playing politics with a smile. Maybe it’s her way of returning the favor after that party the Kims threw. Maybe she’s angling for something else entirely. But it’s definitely not casual.
She then adds as an afterthought. “We thought it would be nice to host something a little more intimate after such a wonderful service.”
“Oh, I’d love to.” Mira grins, relaxing against the seat. “Y/N, you up for it?”
You forced a small smile. “Uh-yeah. Yeah, of course!”
It’s automatic. Reflexive.
Because you can't say what you really want.
Which is to get out of the car.
To breathe. To clear the fog from your chest that smells like leather, and cologne, and fire.
From then, from the backseat, you had counted the moments until you could step into open air again and feel the crisp edge of early spring, the scent of freshly turned earth and blooming jasmine lacing through the quiet garden. The table was set beneath the sprawling branches of the old oak, where dappled sunlight filtered through on the delicate porcelain plates, silverware so polished it reflected the light, dishes, conversations lively and layered with subtext in the way rich families knew how to be.
You, too used to know the dance.
Used to let the brezzy hum of conversation wrap around you, used to nod along at the right moments, used to catch the way Minho would kick Jungkook under the table just to make him crack a smile.You remembered that.
Now, Mira sat beside you, her elbow jolting against yours as she reached for a serving spoon, her plate already filled to the edges.“Try this one,” she whispered, already loading her plate still like she hadn’t eaten in days. And then there was Yoongi—her husband—sitting with a plate he barely touched, scrolling through something on his phone until Mira shot him a look. He cleared his throat and slid it away.
Across from you, your mother-in-law delicately dabbed her lips with a napkin before resuming conversation about Mrs kang with a woman- namjoon's mother- who had grayer streaks in her hair that only painted the greater picture of elegance, her voice carrying that effortless ease of someone used to commanding a room. Someone who had enough money to command at all
Then there's Jungkook who sits two chair away from you, separated by separated only by a stretch of linen and eating irons. Jungkook who could barely catch up to Namjoon's enthusiasm about his dad dying, something about the shifting board members, something that should require Jungkook’s full attention."And now that my father’s out, the balance is shifting," Namjoon said. “We’ve got a chance to pull things clean, finally. The new proposal’s solid.”
Especially when his father speaks. "You’ve seen the numbers, Jungkook," His deep voice cutting through the low hum of conversation. “The deal’s been in discussion for months now. The board expects your response by next week.”
“I’ll look it over.” He acknowledged it with a slow nod.
"Not look over, son." His father’s tone was measured, but firm—the kind of voice that had always left little room for negotiation. "Confirm."
Jungkook exhaled through his nose, setting his wine down. "I won’t confirm anything without making sure it’s solid first."
He pauses. A glance. His father’s sharp gaze flickered over him, assessing. Not questioning—no, never questioning. Because Jungkook had earned his place, had spent years proving himself, had molded himself into the kind of son his father could rely on, because Minho never did.
Not that Minho ever needed to. Not that he ever wanted to.
Jungkook had understood that early on. That Minho had been different. That Minho’s place had always been elsewhere—with paint on his fingers and art in his head, with you curled into his side, laughing in a language he had willed himself to forget. And so it had fallen to him.
And Jungkook—Jungkook hadn’t minded. Not really.
Not when he could see the relief in Minho’s eyes every time their father skipped over him in business conversations, every time he looked at him liked he had birthed a catastrophe. Ambition morphed into inheritance and starry eyes jaundiced. Jungkook realized that this was what he was born for. That his older brother was a fool for denying everything that had been laid on a silver platter for him.
And because it had been easier than actually admitting that maybe he wasn't a fool at all. That maybe it wasn't the legacy he was born for.
Because every waking moment he finds himself tangled in the thoughts about what was right in front of him.
It had been days, yet it remained, stitched into him like something permanent—like the ink on his skin, like the weight of his own name.
It wasn’t just the memory of it. Not just the way you had felt beneath him, the way his name had left your lips in shuddering breaths. It was everything else—the before, the after. The way you had looked at him, wide-eyed and hesitant in the dim light of that unfamiliar room, as if realizing for the first time that he was capable of something like this. That he had spent years knowing, wanting.
Jungkook, who had spent years perfecting restraint, found himself breaking under the weight of it at only the sight of you that brought the memory of the night where he pretended you were his, like fever rushing through.
Because you would not look at him.
Because your eyes had skimmed past him all afternoon, slipping over him like he was nothing, like he hadn’t once been pressed against you, groaning into your skin.
And fuck if it didn’t drive him insane.
His fingers curled around the stem of his glass, his knuckles white as he brought the wine to his lips, stealing glances of you reaching for a pitcher of water at the same time as Mira, your fingers brushing, the smallest of startled laughs escaping you.
Soft. Effortless. Rivaling the intoxicity of the drink in his hand. He couldn't remember when it was the last time he heard it, only the withdrawals that came with it.
Jungkook exhaled sharply, setting down his glass before he did something reckless—before he let himself stare too long, let his thoughts slip into something visible, something impossible to ignore.
And then, as if the universe were intent on pushing him closer to the edge—you left, something he used to be best at.
You pushed back your chair, the scrape of wood against stone barely registering above the conversation which started with Mrs Kim going- “I should probably head home soon,” she said. "Joon's father probably running the househelp ragged by now.”
Namjoon huffed a laugh beside Jungkook, reaching for the hand resting on his thigh. “Let him. Maybe they’ll finally get him to stop redecorating the library every three months.”
Seokjin, seated beside him, shrugged. “Or maybe he’ll burn the place down and finally have an excuse to build that ‘modern masterpiece’ he’s been threatening to commission.”
Mrs. Kim sighed, exasperated but fond. “I wouldn't put it past him. He’s been threatening that ‘modern masterpiece’ since 2003.”
Mrs. Jeon clapped her hands together. “Oh, nonsense. Stay for tea at least. Mr Kim will be fine. Yoongi, you’ll take another pour, won’t you? Y/N, dear, why don’t you grab the set from the kitchen?”
"Of course. I'll be right back." you murmured, barely loud enough for anyone to catch, save for the ones listening too closely. Save for him.
Jungkook watched as you stepped away, disappearing through the doors of the house, something tightening in his chest.
The moment his hand closed around the stem of his glass again, Jungkook knew what he was about to do.
Would it be too obvious? Too stupid?
He doubted it.
Maybe it was reckless. Maybe it was childish. But as his grip tightened and the glass stem cracked beneath his palm, sending shards of glass and a sharp jolt of pain through his hand, he felt something darkly satisfying settle in his chest.
The table fell silent.
And all eyes fell on him. "I-I'm sorry. I didn’t realize." He cleared his throat and started to rise up from his seat.
Namjoon, the closest to him, attempted to reach for his hand and he instantly flinched. Just because the wound was intentional, didn’t mean it didn't hurt.
"What the hell, Kook? Are you okay?"
“Its nothing,” he muttered, jaw clenched as he pressed his uninjured hand to his palm, watching the thin trickle of crimson bead against his skin.
“Jungkook?” His mother’s voice came next to break through the quiet, sharp and immediate, her chair scraping against the stone as she pushed back. “Oh my god—what were you thinking? Do you need me to—”
“No,” he cut in, firm but even, already standing. “I’ve got it.”
Seokjin, looked up from beside his boyfriend, a just as suprised and bewildered expression taking over his face. The same one that mimicked every other person's that sat around the table, with Mira looking like she was going to choke on her food as she met his eyes before her husband smoothed a hand down her back.
"Are you sure? You don’t need any hel—"
"I'm okay, hyung. I said I got it." He said it with perhaps too much irration shimmering beneath his words and the table fell silent again.
Jungkook ignored them all.
He was already moving.
Already following.
Through the hallway, past familiar frames on the wall.
He finds himself checking his reflection in one, taking note of his hair that seem tousled and runs a smooth hand over them.
He finds you in the kitchen.
The afternoon light streamed through the windows, casting golden lines across the marble counters, across the soft fabric of your dress. You stood with your back to him, your hands grasping something—kettle, tray? Don't know.
You just know that you feel him before you hear him like you always do, the weight of his presence shifting the air, settling around you like something impending. You pretend you don’t notice. Pretend you’re too preoccupied with the cups in your hands, as if arranging over the same sets of cups for the fourth time will make it any more legible. It’s pointless, really—You had always known Jungkook, even in silence.
“Gonna keep avoiding me?"
It’s not exactly a question.
Not accusing, but certain. Because yes, you have. Not because you’re angry, not because you regret it, but because it scares you how little you do.
You swallowed. Still not looking. “I’ve been busy.”
He drawls out. “Have you?"
That makes you look up.
By this time you should have realized that it's always a mistake when you do that.
Because he’s leaning against the counter, a hand tucked casually in his pockets, sleeves still rolled up, collar slightly undone. And he’s watching you.
Not like at the table, where his expression had been smooth, unreadable or like that one time where you had been exactly where you are now and he was exactly where he was. Just then, it had been the same illegible look.
Here, in this quiet, his eyes are darker. He looks at you like he knows.
Its in the way his gaze dips, taking you in and how the amber light fluidly danced across your hair that framed your guilty face. So fucking adorable. "So busy you won't even look at me."
You hated how your breath hitched. Hated how you had no answer that didn’t sound like a lie.
You forced a slow breath and placed the napkins in the space left in the tray. "I've had a lot to do."
"No you didn't."
"I did."
"No you didn't, Y/N."
You force yourself to move, to wrap your hands around the tray, to act as if this conversation isn’t happening. “What do you want me to say?”
Instead, he pushed himself off the wall and came closer, close enough that the warmth of him touched your spine, close enought that you could see everything—the way his jaw tightens, the way his throat bobs when he swallows, the way his fingers twitch at his sides and when he finally spoke, it was low, just for you.
"Tell me you don't hate me. I can't go on like that." Has no idea how he has done that for years and has no intention to relive that ever again. He's a buisness man now. Buisness men learn from their losses and never give up profit.
Heat curled in your stomach.
Minutes passed. Too many, too few.
And he waits. He’s patient like that. He always has been.
But your eyes were drawn to something else entirely.
His hand.
The sharp contrast of crimson against his skin, fresh and glistening, pooling at the edge of his palm before dripping onto the tiled floor in slow, schemed drops.
You inhaled sharply, setting the tray down with a quiet clatter, your pulse kicking up. “What the—Jungkook, what happened?”
He didn’t answer right away, didn’t even glance at the wound. Instead, his eyes stayed fixed on you, dark and unreadable, watching the way you reached for his arm, fingers curling around his wrist, your touch careful and instinctive. Maybe it wasn't that bad of an idea, he thinks.
You turned his palm over, assessing the damage. A deep cut, but nothing catastrophic. "You're bleeding."
His voice was slow, aforethought. “I noticed.”
Your head snapped up, irritation flickering behind your concern. “What do you mean, you noticed? Why didn’t you say anything? You should’ve—”
Your breath catches, shifting your weight, as he steps closer, the space between you dwindling.
You try to ignore it. Try to recoil from it. Try to do anything but this. Because you recognized it now. This wasn’t about his hand.
Not really.
Not when his gaze flickered down to your lips in that moment.
Not when his fingers twitched at his side, like he was waiting.
Not when the air between you suddenly felt too thick, too warm, too charged. Too much like that one hallway.
You swallowed, cursed under your breath and forced your eyes away from his wound to take hold of the abandoned tray. You didn’t trust yourself enough with his. With him.
He seemed to revel in that fact.
His fingers brushed against your wrist in protest, dwadling, intentional. His head leaned in, lips grazing the curve of your jaw, just the lightest touch, just enough to rattle the glasses on the tray, just enough to summon a maelstrom of sensations.
Your hand flexed beneath his grip, and for a moment, the room felt smaller, quieter, like the world outside of it ceased to exist.
No. No. You reminded yourself of the straight stuff.
“Jungkook, let go. Everyone's ou—”
He doesn’t let you finish.
Jungkook’s breath ghosts over your cheek, his nose brushing against yours, the scent of him—sylvan cologne, something faintly sweet—pulling you under, drowning you in it.
He turns you, presses you back against the counter. His eyes are dark, searching of the surroundings for a moment before they are back on you. Then, so is the unrelenting heat of his mouth, catching your lips with his, slow and deep, like he had all the time in the world to corrade you.
His lips moved against yours, insistent, beguiling you to open up, to give him what he wanted. Because it had been days. Days since he had his first taste. Days since you have deprived him off it.
And so you did.
You gasped against his mouth, your fingers curling against the handle of trays, gripping, steadying yourself. He groaned at the way you responded, at the way you always responded, despite every calmour, despite every attempt to put distance between you.
You didn’t know who reached first, who needed more, who ached better—only that neither of you pulled away.
The kiss deepened, his uninjured hand slipping beneath the curve of your jaw, his thumb dragging against your cheek, his teeth grazing against your bottom lip. The wounded one curled around your waist. You gasped at the contact—at the warmth of his blood seeping through the fabric of your dress, staining the pale church blue with sin. You felt it against your ribs, hot and sticky. You didn’t care. You whimpered into his mouth, heat pooling low in your stomach, and that was all it took to prouduce a low, guttural noise in his chest, his fingers flexing against your waist, gripping, needing, wanting
And suddenly, the counter is the only thing keeping you upright. Your mind is spinning, lost in him, lost in this, in the fact that this is happening—
Here.
Now.
Where anyone could walk in.
“Y/N?”
Your heart stopped.
Jungkook froze.
Your mother-in-law’s voice was distant but getting closer.
Your breath hitched, panic flaring in your chest, but before you could pull away, Jungkook caught you again.
Pressed his lips to yours, stealing another kiss, this one shorter, sharper, like a punishment, like he was branding you with it as if he hadn’t already stained you with his blood, making sure you’d feel it long after he let go.
But he didn’t.
“Please” he breathed against your mouth, he kisses you deeper, hungrier. He drinks you in like he’s been starving, like he wants to ruin you.
Like he already has.
His tongue brushed against yours, hot and sure, and your stomach twisted, heat
licking at your spine. “Tell me you don't."
A voice—your mother-in-law’s, calling your name grows closer and semblance slams into you like a freight train.
Yet Jungkook stands untouched, refusing to let go, refusing to understand what's he doing, how it could end.
"Jungkook, stop—mhmm—Mom's coming!"
Your resolve is slipping.
Falling.
Falling.
Gone.
And then, when you finally find your voice—
You don’t tell him to stop.
You whisper—breathless, aching, a confession and a surrender all at once.
“I don’t.”
Jungkook groans a curse and he's swift in the way he pulls away because it's only in a second away that another figure breezes into the space.
Your mother-in-law stands in the doorway, looking between you and Jungkook , her brows pinching in mild confusion.
“What was taking so long, dear?”
Jungkook is the first to move, straightening, rolling his shoulders back like nothing happened. Like his tounge wasn't down your throat.
You, though, find it hard to hide the compact it had on you. You're sure everyone in the room can hear how your heartbeats, can hear how it wants to get out of your constructing chest. Your wide blown pupils gaze roams everywhere and stops at the tray in your hands.
Yeah, right.
You start to speak. “I was just—”
But before you can finish with whatever you come up with, her eyes land on his still-bleeding hand that's making a mess on the once polished clean floors.
“Why haven’t you cleaned that up yet, Jungkook-ah?” she scolds, sighing. “You’re going to get an infection.”
Jungkook exhales through his nose, and swips his tounge over his kiss bruised lips. “I was going to."
“I’ll help him, mom. Why don't you take this?” you blurt out, too quick, too loud.
Your mother-in-law’s eyes flicker to you. Something unreadable passes through them.
Then, after a long beat, she nods, smiling. “Youre a sweetheart, Y/N. I'll take this.”
She steps forward, plucks the tray from your hands, and turns toward the dining room without another word.
The moment the door clicks shut behind her, the weight of everything crashes into you.
Your pulse was still erratic, your lips tingling from his kiss, your hands shaking as you turned to him.
You whirled on Jungkook, eyes blazing at his audacity.
"What were you thinking?"
You wanted to kill him.
Your fingers curl into a fist before you can stop them, and you swat his chest, your palm colliding against solid muscle.
He catches your wrist before you can pull away.
And before you could yank off, he pressed a kiss to your knuckles. Your breath stutters.
His eyes flicker down to meet yours, dark and knowing. His expression pleased. Deliciously so. Almost resembling the look that crossed over his face after he had made you come on his mouth for the second time, saying something along the lines of how he could stay buried—
Oh, shit. Uh, scratch that.
“You’re going to be the death of me,” you heave out.
His lips quirk. “Likewise.”
You inhale sharply, snatching your hand from his grip, grabbing his unsullied wrist instead.
“Shut up and come here.” you mutter, tugging him toward the hall.
Jungkook lets you drag him to the bathroom, silent, unresisting. He thinks if it's you he has to follow, he will, even to the ends of the world. Wherever you want.
For now it's the bathroom that was silent, except for the soft drip of the faucet and the sound of your own heartbeat thrumming in your ears. The space was impossibly small with him in it, the air thick with something that hadn’t dissipated even after your mother-in-law had nearly caught you both in the kitchen.
And the moment the door closes behind you.
You realize two things.
One: His hand is still shaking, still bleeding, still a mess of raw skin and recklessness.
And two: You really don’t trust yourself to be alone with him.
Yet you always found yourself in closed rooms. Closed bathrooms, for this instant. Only places you can afford being this close.
You turned the tap, watching as the water rushed down, steam curling into the air. Jungkook stood behind you, leaning against the sink, his injured hand still cradled in his other. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, exposing strong forearms, tendons shifting beneath inked skin as he flexed his fingers experimentally.
The sight shouldn’t make your stomach twist the way it did.
“You’re a idiot." you muttered again, reaching for the first aid kit tucked behind the mirror cabinet.
Jungkook hummed, the sound deep, amused. "So, I've been told."
You turned, finally looking at him, and immediately regretted it. Because he was watching you. Again. Not passively, not carelessly—but like he was memorizing something, like he was still thinking about the way you had whispered I don’t against his lips only minutes ago.
Your throat tightened. You gestured toward the sink. “Hand. Under the water.”
He didn’t move.
Instead, his head tilted slightly, a slow smirk ghosting at the edges of his lips. “That an order, angel?”
You exhaled sharply, grabbing his wrist before he could make another smart remark, forcing his injured hand under the warm stream. He hissed at the contact, fingers twitching, but otherwise didn’t complain. Blood swirled in the sink, a diluted pink that spiraled down the drain.
You repeated, biting the inside of your cheek. “What were you even thinking?”
Jungkook’s voice was ceaseless, unfaltering. “That I wanted you alone.”
Your hands stilled, fingertips just barely brushing against his palm. His words lingered between you, weaving into the steam, settling into your bones.
Slowly, carefully, you lifted his hand out of the water, watching as droplets slid down his fingers, over the sharp lines of his knuckles. The cuts were shallow but jagged, the skin angry and raw, small flecks of glass still embedded in his palm.
Your chest ached.
You reached for a towel and dabbed carefully around the wounds.
This was ridiculous. He was ridiculous. But he was also In pain and a part of you has never liked him In pain. It reminded you of nights where he'd think too much about where he actually belonged. Something very candid. Something very raw. Something a child shouldn’t have to think. You had known how to bandage scraped knees and scuffed elbows. Knew nothing about those nights.
You refocused on his hand, plucking a pair of tweezers from the kit and leaning in, carefully pulling out the slivers of glass still buried in his skin. Your breath brushed against his wrist, your fingers gentle, your focus unwavering. Jungkook didn’t move, didn’t even flinch.
But he watched.
Watched the way your brows furrowed, the way your lips pressed together in quiet concentration, the way your hands trembled just slightly when his thumb twitched against your palm.
He inhaled deeply. "You're good at this. You always have been."
You ignored him, reaching for the antiseptic. “This is going to sting.”
Jungkook smirked. “You sure you don’t want it to?”
You pressed the gauze down harder than necessary.
Jungkook inhaled sharply, his good hand gripping the edge of the counter. “You're enjoying this, aren't you?”
“A little,” you admitted, pressing again just to make a point.
His laughter was quiet, but it was real.
You forced yourself to focus, wrapping a clean bandage over his palm, fingers tracing lightly over his knuckles as you secured it in place. His skin was warm beneath yours, solid, alive. You wondered if he could feel the way your pulse was hammering.
You sucked in a breath, finally, finally releasing him, stepping back like distance could fix what had already unraveled.
"This is reckless." You spoke, not knowing yourself if you meant his hand or him following you to the kitchen. "We need to stop doing this." You finished and looked up to gauge his reaction to your words, only to find that he was already staring.
Too close. Too secure. Too much.
You weren’t sure what you were excepting. Hurt? Regret? Guilt?
Definitely not the recap of what happened in the kitchen. Definitely not his good hand lifting. Again.
It’s imperceptibly, resolute. His fingertips brush your hip first, featherlight, a touch so barely-there that you almost convince yourself you imagined it.
Almost.
Until he grips.
Until he tugs.
And suddenly, you're slamming right against his unmalleable frame,
Your eyes fly up, locking onto his.
Jungkook’s gaze is unreadable, filled with something that makes your stomach clench. His hands plant themselves firmly on either side of you, caging you in.
“You tell me to stop,” he said quietly, “and I will.”
Your fingers tighten around his forearm.
You should.
You should.
But you don’t.
Because he shifted, tilting his head slightly, the smallest movement—one that said he’d do it again.
Kiss you.
Undo you.
His gaze flickers down, lingering on your parted lips. "Yet all you do is look at me like you want me to fuck you on this damn counter. And Jesus, angel, if it doesn't make me rock hard."
The crude words leave him like there’s no consequence to him. To you they rise goosebumps all over your body. For a moment, you try to convince yourself that it's a warning sitting heavy on your skin.
It shimmers through your mind, something about distance, about lines, about how you’ve already crossed too many. You could still say it.
You could still put an end to this before it tattered beyond repair.
But then Jungkook’s grip on your waist tightened, and suddenly, the ground wasn’t beneath you anymore.
Your breath caught as he lifted you. Effortlessly, hands firm, unwavering. The air shifted around you, heat rolling off him in waves, and before you could catch your breath, the cool press of marble kissed the backs of your thighs.
You swallowed hard, fingers instinctively curling into the fabric of his shirt. He settled between your parted legs, the warmth of his body bleeding into yours.
Your pulse thrummed, a frantic, uneven rhythm against your ribs.
"That," you breathed, trying to sound firm, trying to anchor yourself in reason, "sounds like a bad idea."
Jungkook exhaled through his nose, the ghost of a smirk playing at his lips. "It does."
And then he kissed you again.
It wasn’t fair, the way he kissed.
Like he knew exactly how to disentangle you.
Like he knew that every time his mouth met yours, resistance becomes a footnote.
His tounge moved with yours, fingers traced the edge of your knee, palms gliding up the sensitive skin of your thigh before finding its mark at your hip with a confidence that says its his anyways. A soft ache that doesn’t seem to matter anymore. He doesn’t move closer. He doesn’t have to.
The space between you is already non existence.
But his hands need to be closer. Preferably, inside so one of his hands slides higher, disappearing beneath the hem of your dress. Unhurried, exploring, teasing.
Your thighs tensed against his hips, heat coiling in your stomach, something familiar and overwhelming pressing at the edges of your ribs. His bandaged hand then found the small of your back, fingers splaying against your spine as if mapping you, tugging you still until you could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest against yours and the outline of his bulge against your thigh.
Your fingers curled into his shoulders, anchoring yourself, gripping onto something solid as his touch grew more confident, more certain when he found the wet spot forming on the lacy white material—so thin, so damn easy to tear—and something primal glinted in his gaze.
His lips dragged along the planes of your chin, the corner of your mouth, before he exhaled against your skin, voice hushed, but steady. "Still want me to stop?"
His answer was you pressing into his hands instead of pulling away, your breath catching when his fingers brushed higher, thumb pressed bolder and stroking slow patterns against your clothed fold, dragging his knuckles along the delicate fabric.
Your head tilted back slightly, your breath uneven, and Jungkook watched you—watched the way your lashes fluttered, the way your fingers dug into his biceps, the way your body responded to him, even without words.
He knew.
And he liked it.
His lips found your throat, his voice low, rough. "You should." A kiss, slow and deep. "You really should." Another, this one firmer, teeth grazing over your pulse.
A shiver rolled down your spine and desperation rolled on.
"Don't stop. Want your fingers." His cock twitched in his pants and he bit harder onto your neck. He thinks he's again gonna make a wreckage in his pants at the realization of you trembling for him.
"Good girl, angel. Already so wet for me." he breathed, and eased down your soaked panties from your thighs. His eyes glinting again when the thin white late is revealed to him. And god, when it slipped down, revealing glistening skin beneath, he exhaled something broken. "Fuck—have you been waiting for this? Is that what it is?" He wantons and bunches the fabric in his hand to tuck it in his pocket. You flush at the implications, at what he just did, at what he might do.
"Have you?" You dodge the question and he grunts, parting your folds with his thumb and forefinger.
"You have no fucking idea." His forehead pressed to yours, jaw clenched. "The idea of having you like this again consumed me. You consume me."
A soft whimper slipped from your throat, and he grunted again at the sound, his fingers pressing more firmly now, tracing, exploring, teasing you apart. "Did that charming mouth used to get you a lot of girls out there?" The question sounds like a taunt but tastes like lemon on your tounge. You don’t know why you ask it—why you let the thought slip past your lips when you could have buried it like all the others. Maybe now, with his hands on you, with the past and present colliding so violently in the space between breaths, the thought worms its way in.
If he had kissed someone the way he kissed you. If his hands had crammed the shape of someone else’s body. If, somewhere across an ocean, he had found something that didn’t taste like longing.
His fingers stilled. A sharp breath. A pause thick enough to drown in.
Then—he laughed. A low, disbelieving sound that sent a shiver curling up your spine. Not amused. Not really. More incredulous than anything, roughened at the edges with something else.
His bandaged hand tightened around your thigh, dragging you closer. "You think I’ve wasted this mouth on anyone else?"
His voice was low, velvet-soft but weighted, pressing into your skin like the heat of an open flame. Your stomach clenched.
"I don’t know." You swallowed, pulse fluttering against your throat. "I never heard anything, but—"
"But what?" His thumb dragged along your folds. “You think I’d let someone else have what’s yours? Thought I’d put my hands on someone else and think of anything but you?" The pads dig into your skin, his grip an demand for honesty because this is all he plans to give you now. The honesty that every time he tried to want something else, it was your voice in his head. Your name on his tongue.
Your lashes fluttered, the words sinks into your bones, pools at the base of your core. It terrifies you how much you like the way it sounds coming from his mouth—low aching, like it had been a curse, like you had ruined him without ever meaning to— how much you like the way him stressing every word with press of his fingers.
“I want things with you,” he said, the words dragging out of him like they’d been kept in a vault. “Not just this. Not just your body—though fuck, I’ll worship it until I’m in the ground.”
His hand stilled again, the stillness worse than movement, because now he was looking at you. Really looking. Voice softer now. Like he was afraid to let it live in the air.
"I want it all." He whispered. "I want every morning with your hair on my pillow. Every night with your hands on me." Your mouth parted, but no sound came out—just breath, shallow and stunned.
His fingers moved again, slow and reverent, his touch suddenly less about taking and more about giving. "Your clothes in my closest." Showing.
Promising.
Your head fell back against the mirror, your breath coming in sharp, uneven pants, every flick of his wrist sending another spark of pleasure shooting through your limbs.
"Jungkook," you gasped, barely able to form his name.
"Your name on every piece of paper that has mine." he kept going, his voice low, yet the way two of his digits slipped inside, slow, stretching, filling, setting a rhythm that had your thighs trembling wasn't exactly something you could keep quiet for. "Your moans in my ear that I'm gonna keep just for myself."
Your cunt clenched around him and head dropped to his shoulder in an attempt to muffle the sound. "Mhm. Fuck." Your body arched into him, chasing the fire that threatened to consume you whole. His pace quickened, his touch growing rougher, more desperate, as if he needed this just as badly as you did, as if he needed to become a devotee of the way you fell apart in his hands.
"Say it." He curled them just right, making a consistent squelching sound that bounced off the walls. "Tell me you want it. Tell me you want me." His mouth was scornful when it spoke but affectionate when it peppered kisses on the crown of your head.
"You know I do." Your voice was wrecked, barely more than a whisper against his skin, hips stuttering beneath his touch.
"Not enough." He growled, voice thinned by impediment, fingers curling again, slow and deep and your grip on him was the only thing keeping you from floating away.
"I—Jungkook—I" You broke off, a cry catching in your throat as he pressed and flicked. A merciless rhythm of knowing.
"Come on. Be my good fucking angel." He murmured against your hair, fingers pushing in and out of your slick hole with practiced ease, working you open, watching every shift of your body, every tiny gasp and shudder.
"I feel it," you breathed. "God, I feel it—I want you."
He too could feel how you seized against his fingers, how your breath started to come in short pants. "More." He husked. "I want you to lose it for me," his voice took a pleading note, his head dunking down, lips finding the curve of your jaw, his teeth scraping lightly before soothing the bite with his tongue. "Fall apart. Come on my fingers knowing what I want with you. Knowing you're it. Let go, baby."
And then he found that spot—the one that drove knuckles deep into your quivering cunt, curling and flicking, shattering you, the one that had your eyes rolling back, your breath catching in a sharp, broken cry as teeth dug unconsciously into his shoulders, hips shifting, chasing his touch, needing more and he felt the urgent need to bury his cock into you the next second.
“Right there, fuck—Jungkook,” you whimpered, eyes fluttering shut, lashes damp.
“Don’t stop. I’m—god, I’m gonna cum. So close. So fucking close.” Eyes stayed fixed on your face like it was a masterpiece made for him alone. The heat of your slick coated his fingers, the way your body clenched down around him driving a ragged curse from his throat.
Your orgasm hit with brutal force, crashing into you like a wave breaking at high tide, leaving you boneless, trembling, and Jungkook caught you, his arm wrapping securely around your waist, his lips pressing into the side of your neck, as if searing the moment into your skin.
As if he had no intention of letting you go. As if he never had.
"Beautiful girl." He mummered. "So fucking perfect when you come for me." He praised and pulled his two digits drenched with your essence out of your pulsating pussy to slide them into his mouth. Eyes closing when the taste of you settled on his tounge, reacquainting himself what has been taken hold of every inch of his mind. The appreciative hum that starts to leave his mouth gets lodged in somewhere in the middle when he feels your thighs wrapping around him, your front pressing against his cock that throbbed with the need to be lamented inside your salivating warmth.
He cursed under his breath, his control fraying at the edges. "Needy little thing." he growled, half in awe, half in torment. "Still aching for me?"
You blinked at him, all wide-eyed innocence, but your hips shifted again, grinding up into him in a way that had his jaw clenching, his breath turning ragged.
“I can feel how hard you are,” you whispered, voice barely there. “What if I want more?”
"Fuck," he gritted out, "I need to be inside you." He needs and his hands gripped your thighs, clutching you closer with the intention to rub against your bare, soused pussy. You felt the heat of him, the weight of the orgasm he had wrung from you with nothing but his fingers, the sheer presence of him pressing against you, and your pulse fluttered, a mix of nerves and overwhelming want.
His hand that you mended, hooks up your chin. You barely registered his words at first, too dazed, too lost in the lingering ache of pleasure still pulsing deep within you. But then—his voice, low and thick with something rekt, something wanting.
"Think we've got enough time?" He asks, shrugging a glance at his rolex. His hands traced over your thighs, palms spreading against flushed skin to bunch up the silk material of your blood stained church dress, the delectable longness of his erection pressing against you. And though it was phrased like a question, it sounded rather possessive and certain, as if the answer had already been decided.
Your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, torn between reason and the undeniable heat pooling low in your stomach. "We'll have to find out." You whispered, teeth biting onto your lip as you grinded in response, letting you feel him—hard and urgent, straining against the fabric that abstracted you—until it didn’t.
Your fingers moved without permission, trailing down his stomach, feeling the taut muscle beneath the crisp fabric of his shirt. Lower still, to the belt that had been teasing you with its presence, the polished metal of the buckle cool beneath your fingertips.
Jungkook inhaled sharply when you undid it, the sound rough. His hands around you clenched, but he didn’t stop you. Didn’t pull away.
Didn’t want to.
You took your time, savoring the way his breath hitched as you worked open the button, the zipper, how his body tensed beneath your touch. And then—when you pressed your palm against him, feeling the full length of his need—his head fell back, his throat bared in a perfect, aching display.
God.
Your breath stilled in your chest.
He was beautiful like this.
Not just in the obvious way—not in the way the world saw him, sharp-suited and composed, the perfect image of a man in control. No, this was something else entirely.
You traced your gaze over him, over the column of his throat, over the way the muscles in his jaw tightened as he swallowed. Over the way he looked like he was waging a war against himself.
“Y/N,” he gritted out, his voice tight, strained, as if he were warning you.
Or begging.
But you only pressed a little firmer, fingers teasing, tracing, thumb swiping over his swollen tip that leaked with pre cum.
With a growl, his hand wrapped around your wrist, halting your movements, dark eyes snapping open to meet yours. "Fuck, baby. I'm not patient enough for this."
And then he was lifting your hips, guiding you against him, his tip poking at your entrance, making you let out a shuddering  breath. He leaned in, his lips brushing over your cheek, feather-light, a stark contrast to the way his hands gripped your thighs.
"Let me feel you," he hiss, more plea than demand, his voice thick with restraint. "Let me have you all of you, angel."
And when you nodded—when you let him pull you to the very edge, let him replace his fingers with something hotter, heavier—your hands fisted in his shirt, nails biting into his shoulders as your breath hitched.
Jungkook groaned against your ear as he pushed himself all the way to the hilt, sworeing how he would never get enough of you, his fingers flexing at your waist as he stilled, letting you adjust to the sudden intrusion of his massive length, letting himself revel in the feeling of you wrapped around him like you always would in the sweetest of his dreams, like you did a certain night away. And from that moment he had wondered how had he ever functioned without this? How will he ever function without you if you keep yourself away from him?
Your hands slipped up, cupping his face, tilting him toward you until your lips brushed. “Move,” you whispered, voice barely there.
Slow at first, rolling his hips into yours, his mouth catching every broken sound that left you, his hands never stopping their worship of your body.
And when he felt his willpower leave him, when slow became desperate, when his name spilled from your lips like a prayer—he answered.
He met you in every way you needed.
It was urgent—messy and desperate and filled with everything neither of you could say out loud. Could only afford in hushed whispers and lips tracing sin on skin. Something he'd taken pain from you if it meant he'd get to kept this. Because it was better than nothing, better than those years when he wanted you with a desperation that should’ve dulled with time, with grief, with regret.
But it hadn’t.
It had only grown sharper.
It was too much. It was not enough.
The way he gasped softly as he pushed himself inside you—inch by inch, stretching you around him, your hands fisting his shirt like you couldn’t decide whether to pull him closer or push him away.
He pressed you further onto the counter, knocking over something ceramic that shattered on the tile, neither of you caring. The pace of his cock driving inside you turned desperate, driven by something raw, something that tasted too much like loss but felt too much like home.
Your fingers found his hair, tugging just enough to make him groan against your lips, his hands sliding up your back, pulling you closer, closer, closer. "Oh yeah! Fuck, just there!" You panted, hips snapping against his, encouraging him further as he outright pounded into you.
"You’re—fuck—so tight,” he rasped. “So warm. I knew it. You were made for me.” He highlighted with a squeeze to your boob, rolling your pebbled nipple between his digits. Your walls fluttered around him, still so tight, still taking all of him like you had been made to, eyes fluttering close when he gave it a pinch.
And fuck—he wanted to see that again.
“Eyes, Y/N.” he murmured, his voice rough, strained.
Your lashes lifted, glassy and unfocused, your lips parting around a soft gasp as he rolled his hips again, hitting deeper this time.
He smiled, dipping his head, lips brushing over your cheek, your jaw, the corner of your mouth. “That’s it, baby. Let me see you.”
You swallowed hard, fingers pulling into his hair. “Jungkook I can't—Too much!”
His grip on your waist tightened, his pace faltering slightly. “Shhh. I've got you,” he whispered, voice shaking. “You don’t have to do anything. Just take me.” He cooed, his head falling to the crook of your neck. His teeth grazed over your pulse, tongue following, lips dragging along heated skin.
The sensation sent a shiver rolling down your spine, sharp and electric.
Your back arched, pressing further into him, your thighs tightening around his waist. You could feel yourself spiraling, the coil in your stomach winding tighter and tighter with every roll of his hips, every deep, mind blowing thrust.
You felt full.
Overwhelmed.
Like you were going to break apart any moment.
Jungkook must have felt it—the way your nails dug into his skin, the way your breath stuttered against his ear—because his grip shifted, one hand slipping between you, fingers pressing against your most sensitive spot, rubbing slow, lazy circles.
Your body jolted at the added sensation, a sharp cry tumbling from your lips that he caught in his own.
And he smirked.
“My angel's so close, hmm?" he murmured against your mouth.
Your breath hitched, a whimper escaping before you could stop it. "Yeah—shit—yeah. Wanna come again. Want come so bad, Jungkook."
Jungkook groaned, his cheeks hollowing, brows furrowing like he was barely holding himself together. “Fuck, you sound so pretty when you do that.”
You were right there.
Jungkook felt it.
And he wasn’t about to let you go without making you fall apart for him.
His thumb rubbed faster, tighter circles, his thrusts rougher, deeper, his lips brushing over your ear, his voice low, wicked.
“You’re gonna come for me again,” he promised, panting. “Right here. Around me. Look at me when you do.”
The coil snapped, pleasure crashing over you like a tidal wave, your body tightening, then releasing all at once. Your vision blurred, your entire body trembling, your nails raking over Jungkook’s back as you moaned his name, breathless and undone. "Shit, that's right." He heaved.
His thrusts started to get sloppier, trying to constraint the sound of his hips slapping against yours in the tiled bathroom only while he pursued his own release. More urgent—less about control and more about instinct. He could only last so long with your pussy milking him for all he's worth.
"Fuck—baby," he rasped, voice wrecked, forehead pressed hard against yours, sweat-slicked and trembling. "I’m close… fuck, I’m gonna come. Gonna fill you up."
You found yourself nodding mindlessly, relating with the wretched appetite in his voice to be warmed up to within.
“Such a needy girl,” he murmured, voice rough as gravel. “So desperate to be filled, huh? You want all of it, angel?” His hand moved from your waist to your jaw, thumb swiping your lip like he was trying to soothe something uncontainable.
Jungkook's thrusts slowed into something deeper, deliberate, chasing every inch of you as he buried himself to the hilt and groaned, full-bodied and guttural, like it had been torn straight from his chest. His release hit him hard, cock twitching deep inside you, thick warmth spilling in hot waves as his fingers dug into your hips hard enough to bruise like he was trying to memorize you, like he hadn’t spent the better part of his life trying to memorize you in ways he had never deserved.
He didn’t stop—just kept grinding into you, riding it out, chasing the feeling of being so deep inside you that the world didn’t matter. His jaw clenched, eyes squeezing shut as he emptied every last drop, as if he could carve his name into you from the inside.
Like the years had never carved a distance between you, like nothing—no one—had ever come between this pull, this thing that always seemed to exist between you and him.
And yet, reality was creeping back in.
You could hear it—the soft murmur of voices beyond the door, the distant clatter of dishes, the low hum of conversation that you were supposed to be a part of.
The world you were supposed to return to.
You exhaled shakily, body still trembling in the aftermath, shifting against the counter, trying to gather yourself, trying to think. Your fingers curled weakly into his shoulder, and you felt it—his chest rising and falling against you, his breath warm against your temple, the quiet steadiness of him as he held you there, as if neither of you were quite ready to move just yet.The sweat cooling on his skin glistened where the low light caught it, and his nose nudged softly into your hairline, inhaling you like he wasn’t ready to let go yet.
"Still with me, angel?"
You hummed a airy "barely" and he kissed one, featherlight and sweet, dragging his mouth lazily toward your jaw. He was taking his time. He didn’t seem to care that your clothes were halfway off or that you were still tangled around him.
You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that, wrapped up in the quiet. You sighed, resting your head back on his shoulder, content and warm and glowing all over. The mirror behind you was fogged with breath, the air still thick with the scent of heat and sweat and him.
“We should go back now," you whispered and when you moved to slip away, his hands curled against your thighs, halting you in place. Not tight, not forceful—just there, just asking.
He shook his head, exhaling through his nose, his thumb brushing absentmindedly over your skin where he adjusted the hem of your dress after wiping the remnants of him with a tissue, doe eyes giving away the look a kicked puppy would have. “Not yet. Give me a minute."
Not yet.
Not don’t go. Not stay.
Just not yet.
And maybe that was why you didn’t move.
Maybe that was why you let yourself linger for just a second longer, your fingers smoothing over the collar of his shirt, tracing a wrinkle that your own grip had left behind. A pointless action, an excuse to touch, to feel the warmth of him for just another moment before you had to pretend like none of this happened. "Fine. I mean I wouldn't want to walk back smelling like sex and you."
Jungkook’s gaze darkened. His hands slid up, brushing over the curve of your cheekbone, his touch slow and sharp like satisfaction curling under his tongue.
“That right?” he murmured. “You smell like me?”
The question caught you off guard.
Too late. He was already drunk on it. He ducked down, nosing along your throat, breathing in deep with a groan like the idea physically did something to him. “Fuck. You do. You smell like me, angel."
You blinked, your fingers stilling against his shirt, your breath hitching in your throat.
Something darker lit his eyes—satisfaction painted in shadow. “Good.”
Your breath caught. “It’s good that I reek of you?” And definitely not the hottest scandal the neighborhood will get their hands on. Right.
He dipped his head, nose brushing your neck, lips skimming your pulse. “You should smell like me,” he whispered. “You should walk out there with your thighs dripping and my scent all over you. Glowing because you took every inch of me." he murmured, voice low and reverent. "Let them wonder."
You whimpered, helpless under the press of his mouth, the press of his words.
“I—” you started, but your thoughts tangled as he sucked gently at your neck, just above where your collar would hide it.
He pulled back just enough to meet your gaze again, a smirk tugging at his mouth.
“Still want to go back?”
"Yes."
Jungkook studied you for a second longer, his eyes searching, tracing every inch of your expression, as if he was looking for something, as if he was still waiting for you to change your mind.
But you didn’t.
So he only exhaled, pressing his lips to your head. And then, finally, finally, he let you go.
You breathed out, fingers curling at the edge of the counter before you shifted again, moving to slide down—to plant your feet back on the ground, to leave but not before letting yours eyes drift to him for a second where he tucks himself in his slacks.
“Y/N.”
His voice was softer this time, but it stopped you all the same.
You barely had time to react before his fingers found your jaw, tilting your chin up, forcing you to look at him.
Your breath stilled.
Jungkook’s thumb brushed against your bottom lip, slow, lingering. And then, so softly, so quietly he asked—“when you walk out from here will you start avoiding me to the next Sunday again?"
Your brows scrunched up and you attempted to look away.
"Please don't, angel." He pressed his lips to where the crease formed for a brief moment.
And god help you, you wanted to listen.
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The evening (6:25, you noted from your wrist watch) was quiet, the sky yawning open into a stretch of velvet dark, the stars distant pinpricks of light like secrets kept at a distance. You had always known the halls of the university to be full—full of voices, of conversations that layered over each other, of common stories and repeated gestures. Even today, it had been the same.
The evening air carried the last remnants of warmth, a hesitant shift between winter and spring that clung to the pavement, to the air, to you, you could feel reprieve take hold instead of a sort of suffocation.
You pulled your coat tighter around yourself, your breath curling in the cool air. The once-busy campus had emptied out, leaving only a handful of cars scattered beneath the flickering glow of overhead lights.Your heels clicked against the pavement, hurried, purposeful, as you wove between the cars, searching.
Hoseok was ahead, his figure easy to spot—relaxed posture, a casual sway in his step, his tan coat catching the dim light. It wasn’t hard to catch up with him. He moved like someone who never rushed, even when he should. But you still called his name, breathless from the rush.
“Professor Jung—Hoseok, wait up.”
His tailored blazer was unbuttoned, sleeves pushed up to reveal lean forearms, his usual crisp attire softened by the slight ruffle of his hair, undoubtedly from running a frustrated hand through it after a long day. His dark eyes lifted at the sound of your approaching footsteps, and when recognition flickered across his face, his lips curled into an smile.
"Ah," he mused, had just reached his car, one hand already on the door handle when he turned at the sound of your voice. His lips curved into an easy smile as he leaned against the frame. "To what do I owe the honor of you sprinting across the lot?"
You huffed, coming to a stop beside him, shifting the strap of your bag on your shoulder. “I think some of my test papers got mixed up with yours. I noticed a few of my poetry essays were missing, and I have a hunch they ended up with your psychology midterms.”
Hoseok made a thoughtful noise, rubbing his chin. “That… would explain why I was grading a sonnet on existential dread instead of cognitive behavioral theories.”
You sighed. “I knew it. I must have switched the stacks when I was in a rush earlier, I'm sorry."
“Don’t worry about it," he assured you, resuming unlocking his car. "I’ll check when I get home. Worst case, I’ll bring them to you tomorrow.”
You nodded, relief sagging through your shoulders. "Thanks, Professor Jung. You're a life saver. I planned to finish grading them tomorrow."
Hoseok made a mock grimace. “You work too hard.”
You smiled, shaking your head. “Says the guy who spent last night preparing an extra credit seminar.”
“That was different. That was for the kids who actually care about my class,” he countered, before nodding toward the nearly empty lot. “You’re headed home? Want a ride?”
It was harmless. A casual offer from a friend, from someone who had sat across from you in faculty meetings, who had lent you his pen more times than you could count, who had laughed with you over shared frustrations about students turning in assignments late. There was no reason to hesitate.
It had been a long day, longer than you realized. You would actually prefer it rather than waiting for the bus that always seems to be running late by minutes.
Yet the answer that came was.
"She's already got a ride." The voice wasn't yours. It had been the one you had come to realize that avoiding was futile, that whatever admissions it breathed into your ear ran deeper that you would have assumed, affected you more than you'd liked and you have started to come terms with it. The words weren’t sharp either, weren’t cruel, but they cut through the quiet with the ease of something unquestionable.
Hoseok’s brows lifted slightly as both of you turned toward the voice, towards the faint crunch of footsteps against pavement.
The raven haired man who had once been standing a few feets away, watching, was now stepping forward, minimizing the distance until he was right beside you, hands tucked into the pocket of his coat that was as dark as the night, the sharp cut of his jaw illuminated by the glow of the streetlights. His eyes didn't lock with yours as they usually would, instead they zeroed In on the psychology professor who was unaware of the sudden tension buzzing through the air.
What the hell?
“Oh, I didn’t realize you had someone waiting.”
You swallowed, grounding yourself. “Uh—yeah.” You cleared your throat. “Hoseok, this is Jungkook. My—" You cringed at how visibly you struggle to come up with words when the ardour of the man beside you pressed into your side. God, he was always so warm.
When Hoseok, ever perceptive, raised an eyebrow you snapped out of it and continued. "Minho's brother."
Hoseok glanced between the two of you, and his mouths part in understanding. Dots connect. His eyes glance at you with a look that says 'That Jungkook?' And you blink, 'That Jungkook.' All that you've ever told him about Jungkook making it clearer.
"Ohhh." He grins and extends a hand without hesitation, always one for politeness. “Well, nice to finally meet you, Jungkook. I'm Jung Hoseok. I first met Y/N at a masters program. Been friends since then."
Jungkook’s gaze flickered to the offered hand before he shook it, firm and brief. Just a little tighter than necessary, enough to make Hoseok chuckle under his breath.
“Oof. Strong hands,” he said, raising an eyebrow but otherwise unfazed.
"Nice to meet you." There was nothing outright hostile in Jungkook’s voice. Nothing overly tense but you still felt like you were caught between two frequencies—one warm and familiar, the other crackling with something dangerously unspoken.
Hoseok seemed to pick up on it. He glanced between the two of you again, the corners of his mouth tilting into something unreadable before he shifted his weight.
“Well, I won’t keep you if you're settled then,” he said easily, flashing you a small smile. “See you Tomorrow?”
You nodded, grateful for the out. “Yeah,
see you.”
Hoseok gave Jungkook a small nod before slipping into his car, headlights flashing on as he pulled out of the lot.
You exhaled slowly, shifting on your feet, resisting the urge to lean into him. No, you were supposed to question him first.“What was that? And what are you doing here?”
“What was what?” He hummed, his mouth no longer set in that stern shape, his hand slipping from his coat pocket to brush a stray strand of your braid that barely seemed to hold its own away.
You narrowed your eyes, looking around instinctively before back at him. “You know what.”
Jungkook took a slow step forward, not even bothering that you were out in public, the space between you shrinking, charged. His head tilted slightly, voice deceptively light, tounge pushing against his cheek; That little tell of his, a habit you learned and found more attractive that it should have been, a habit he did when he was displeased with something. Maybe even pissed. Or both. "Didn’t know you were that close with Hozook, angel."
You blinked, thrown by the sudden turn in conversation. “It’s Hoseok.” You scoffed. “We work together, Jungkook. I’ve known him for years."
His lips pressed together, as if that information did absolutely nothing to quell whatever had flickered across his face moments ago.
Then—he opened his mouth, about to say something else, when you cut in, tone flat, unamused, every word sharpened.
“You’d know that if you hadn’t ghosted me for years.”
Whatever he was about to say dissolved right there on his tongue. His jaw twitched once. His brows dipped slightly, something unreadable passing through his gaze—but he said nothing. Good.
After a beat, he exhaled, shaking his head before motioning toward his car when he noticed the thin layers of your clothing, a dress shirt paired with a half sleeved sweater. “Come on.”
You frowned, your feet hesitating. You should be walking the other way. Should be dealing with public transport, going through the motions of an evening that should have belonged to you alone. He wasn’t obliged to be a part of this. “You didn’t have to come pick me up.” you say, smoothing down the strap of your bag.
He shrugs and his hand reaches you, or most specifically your bag, fingers curling around the strap and taking in his fist. “I was in the area.”
You snort, unimpressed. “Right.”
Still, you don't protest when he opens the door for you for reasons you don't want to analyze. And when you slide into the passenger seat, you don't mind how natural it's starting to feel.
He drives with one hand on the wheel, the other resting against his thigh. The city hums past you in streaks of gold and red, the kind of light that makes you feel like you’re inside a dream you once had and forgot the ending to. The faint murmur of the radio filling the space between you.
You’re both quiet for a while.
Then—“How was work?” he asks, without looking. His tone is mild, almost too careful, as if the question isn’t just about your day but about the right to ask.
It’s a simple question, casual, but the way he says it slows your thoughts. Like he’s trying, like he wants to know you again.
You shrug, shifting in your seat. “Fine. Uneventful. Spent half the day grading, the other half convincing students that deadlines actually mean something.”
He hums in amusement. “They don’t.”
You glare at him. “They do when I say they do.”
“Terrifying,” he muses, the corner of his mouth twitching.
You roll your eyes but it does little to conceal your own smile. “What about you?” It feels like you owe him the same curiosity.
Jungkook exhales through his nose, a slow, measured thing. “Had a meeting. Went as expected. Some numbers that needed fixing. Boring stuff.” You had always understood your husband's disdain for a life that was a repeat of listening to some guy talk too much, lose his temper when his ego would be on the line. But you had never known why Jungkook would prefer this or even why he wouldn't.
You look at him then, the sharp cut of his jaw, the way the city lights flicker across his skin in intervals—light, dark, light, dark—like the world couldn’t quite decide how to hold him. You weren’t sure you could either. Maybe you never asked enough questions, never studied every crease on his face liked you'd with minho and inspect it to hell.
“Sounds exhausting.”
“It is.” He steals a glance at you, quick, assessing. “Less exhausting now, though.”
But now that you do, now that you want to, you understand what he means.
It’s easy, this. Talking like this. Falling into a rhythm you hadn’t realized you still knew, one that had been untouched for years but still existed, waiting beneath the veneer. The intimacy of nothing in particular.
Jungkook has to force himself to focus on the road, fingers flexing again as he shifts gears.
If you scrutinize deeper, you'd also find that this—this slow glide through streets neither of you had named, the soft murmur of the radio, your shoulder nearly brushing his in the dark. This is what he’s always wanted. Not the secrecy. Not the stolen minutes behind doors that you had to double check if they are locked.
But this.
A ride home after a long day. A quiet conversation. The sound of your addictingly sweet voice in his car, in his space, in his life in a way that feels so woefully unpolished that it almost hurts.
“You’re not driving to my place.” Your voice pulls him back, your gaze sharp now, watching as the streets grow less familiar.
He doesn’t even pretend to be surprised at your realization.
“No.”
Your brow furrows. "Can you for once just drive me to my apartment without taking me to some place I don't want to go?"
"No."
That alone makes your fingers twitch where they rest in your lap.
You had spent so much time trying to untangle your own thoughts about him, about whatever this was turning into. Picking at it. Trying to name it. But Jungkook had been the picture of certainty. Unflinching. Unbothered. Like none of it had touched him the way it had touched you. Like he had already made peace with something you were still trying to name.Like he’d walked back into your life not to ask if he could stay—but to decide that he would.
Tonight, he seems different.
Its in the way his jaw tightens every time you shift in your seat, like he’s bracing himself. The way his tongue swipes over his bottom lip before he speaks, only to change his mind and stay silent. The way his gaze flickers toward you like he’s waiting for something.
You don’t know what to do with that.
Jungkook and hesitation have never belonged in the same sentence. At least, not since he came back.
You try again. “Where are we going, Jungkook?”
His mouth pressed into something unsure. Jungkook, unsure. It wasn’t something you were used to seeing now. It wasn’t something he looked when he pressed you against the kitchen counter, hadn’t sounded like this when he whispered his most cordial of dreams into the corner of your neck.
When he finally speaks, his voice is even, controlled. “Somewhere I want you to see.”
“That’s vague.”
He huffs a quiet laugh, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “It’s a surprise.”
Something about the way he says it makes your stomach pull tight.
Because you’ve seen Jungkook confident. You’ve seen him arrogant, smug, amused. You’ve seen him angry, cold, unreadable. But nervous? No. Not since he came back from a different life, not since he became the man that no longer fit into the spaces you had once saved for him.
And yet, right now, here he is. Inside, the space, one hand loose on the wheel, the other resting against his thigh, fingers drumming idly like a song he hadn’t decided to play yet. It was a small thing, a habit from when he was younger—back when he used to tap against the wooden desks in class, always restless, always itching to move.
Some things hadn’t changed.
Some things had.
Your fingers curled against the fabric of your coat. “You’re being weird.”
"I’ve always been weird, angel."
"No you haven't." There's something defensive in the way you phrase these words. "Don't change the subject."
This time, he smiled—brief but real. It softened something in his face, something he so rarely let slip anymore.
“You’ll like it,” he murmured after a beat, voice softer now, like he was almost convincing himself of the same thing. “I think.”
Just turned down a street you didn’t recognize, the road quieter here, the buildings spaced apart, until he finally pulled up in front of a modest, modern structure with floor-to-ceiling windows and a single light illuminating the entrance.The kind of place you wouldn’t look at twice if you didn’t know what you were searching for.
You couldn't help but ask again. "Where are we? What is this?"
Jungkook cut the engine, but he didn’t move right away. His fingers tapped against the wheel once, twice, before he finally exhaled and turned to you.
"I bought this place," he said simply.
You blinked up at the building again. "What?"
His lips pressed together, eyes flickering away before he cleared his throat. "Just—come inside."
You followed him out, your steps slow as you took in the building, the way the large glass panes mirrored the stars. The sky leaned against the windows like it, too, wanted to press closer, to see inside. There was a sign by the entrance—simple, elegant script, almost shy in how little it asked to be noticed. You don’t recognize it, and that alone makes you reconsider.
Jungkook said nothing as he unlocked the door, the quiet snick of the key turning loud in the stillness. He held it open for you like always, but this time his eyes didn’t meet yours.
You stepped inside and the push of the door revealed —A gallery.
Not just any gallery.
Paintings. Everywhere.
Paintings stretched across every wall, soft pools of golden light falling over their frames. Each piece breathed color—bold, bruised, aching with emotion. Blue melted into umber, ochre kissed the edge of crimson. Every brushstroke pulled something raw from your chest.
You moved forward, like your body remembered the path before your mind could catch up. Your fingers hovered in the air, trembling as they traced the lines without touching them, as if the act of reaching alone might wear you.
All of it look like what had been painfully dear to you.
Your stomach twisted.
Because you knew this work.
You knew it. Not just the style, not just the way the colors lived together in layered silence—but the soul of it. The way it looked back at you. The way it knew you.
You knew the hand that had created it. Been the first and last one to hold them close to you.
You reached for the closest canvas, your vision blurring at the name signed at the corner.
Jeon Minho.
The name cleaved through you like a wave, cruel and kind in equal measure. Your heart twisted. Your fingers hovered over a piece, afraid to touch, afraid it might slip through your hands if you weren’t careful. It was his—all of it, the way he saw the world, the way he translated it onto canvas.
It was like standing inside his head again, like hearing him laugh through color, like stepping back into a time where his presence still existed beyond memory.
Your breath shook.
“This…” Your voice wavered. “This is his.”
He was watching you instead, hands in his pockets, shoulders tense like he was waiting for you to feel it before he explained it.
And you did.
God, you did.
In the farthest corner of the room.
Your feet carried you again, before your mind could catch up, before you could brace for the impact of what you were about to see.
The world blurred at the edges.
The painting was soft, muted in color, like it had been caught in the golden hour of a fading summer. Three figures sat at the edge of a dock, backs turned, feet dipping into a painted lake that rippled with every brushstroke.
Two boys who's curves of smiles you would know even from behind.
One girl who knew.
It was them.
It was you.
Your throat tightened painfully, a memory rising unbidden, curling at the edges of the canvas, spilling into the quiet of the gallery until it was no longer just a painting—It was then.
You were twelve the summer Minho decided that the best way to survive the heat was to sit at the edge of the lake until the sun stopped trying to kill him.
Jungkook had been the first to follow, feet kicking idly at the water, arms propped behind him as he leaned back, his oversized t-shirt damp from an earlier splash war that he had definitely lost.
You had been the last to sit down, cross-legged between them, tossing small pebbles into the lake just to watch the ripples expand.
It had been quiet, warm, easy. The afternoon smelled of earth and sun, of laughter spilling into the open air.
“Stay still, Minho!” you giggled, reaching over to press another blade of grass into his already messy hair.
“Why?” he huffed, cracking one eye open. “You’re ruining my masterpiece.”
“You’re ruining my masterpiece,” you shot back, grinning as you tucked another strand behind his ear. A few away, Jungkook sat cross-legged, watching the two of you with quiet fascination. He was younger then, still round-cheeked, his dark eyes wide and serious as he curled his fingers in the grass.
“Are you gonna put grass in my hair too?” he finally asked, tilting his head.
You paused, considering, then reached over and plucked a small daisy from the ground.
“Not grass,” you said, leaning closer. “But hold still.”
He did.
Even then, Jungkook had been good at that—at waiting, at being patient in a way that seemed too big for his age.
Carefully, you tucked the daisy behind his ear.
“There,” you murmured, sitting back.
Minho snorted, pushing himself up on his elbows. “Now he looks really ridiculous.”
But Jungkook only blinked, reaching up to touch the flower gently, like it was something delicate, something that had been given to him and him alone.
He didn’t take it out.
It stayed there like the three of you—trapped in summer light, forever twelve, forever laughing, forever somewhere time could not reach.
A quiet exhale broke the silence behind you. But the deep ache stayed spread through your chest, slow and unforgiving.
"He never showed me this," you murmured, voice barely above a whisper. "He painted it the year before he…" Jungkook hesitated, the words catching. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, his gaze tracing the familiar lines of Minho’s signature. "Before he passed."
Your chest constricted. The truth never stopped feeling like a knife.
From the first time since you stepped inside, you finally turned to Jungkook then, eyes searching, waiting for him to tell you why.
Why he had done this.
Why had he crushed that one devastating voice in your head that would make it's appearance timely—you are forgetting him. You are forgetting the exact way his laughter curled at the end. The domesticity of how his step fell beside yours. Those were slipping with every sunrise you surived without him. Dissolving like fog under the sun. You are forgetting your min min.
And one night, you'd wake up desperate, breathless, trying to recall the way he said your name but you wouldn't. And the guilt—God, the guilt—would sit on your chest.
Until now that Jungkook had gathered every fragment of Minho’s soul and brought it back to life. Not as a ghost. But as something immortal. As something known. Someone someone will always know. A hundred things rise to the surface. None of them make it past your lips.
Jungkook exhaled softly, running a hand through his hair before shoving it back into his coat pocket. His shoulders were drawn tight, but his voice was steady when he finally spoke. "I started looking for them a while ago. A month before I came back, maybe longer. They were scattered—some in old studios, some with collectors. A few were in storage, collecting dust. I tracked them down, bought back what I could."
He hesitated before continuing. "Hyung's anniversary is next month." The words felt heavy, like they were scraping raw against the throat of a boy who had never quite come to terms with losing the only man he's ever looked up to. "And I—" A pause, like he was choosing his next words carefully. "We—never really did anything, did we?"
You blinked hard, trying to push back the sting behind your eyes.
"No." Your voice was barely there.
A muscle in Jungkook’s jaw ticked. "I didn’t want this year to be like that. I wanted to do something. Do you like..this, angel? We could open this to the public too if you want. Show mom and dad."
Something rises within you, vast and unnameable—less a feeling, more a tide. It isn’t just the gallery. It isn’t just Minho.
It’s the echo of affinity stitched into every frame. The invisible thread that leads back to Jungkook.
It’s the fact that Jungkook did this. That he spent God knows how long making this happen, gathering Minho’s work, making sure his art wouldn’t just sit in forgotten portfolios, lost in the quiet corners of time.He unearthed what time tried to bury. Preserved what you feared was lost.
And the immensity of it—the quiet significance of what he’s saying, of what he’s not saying—hits you harder than you were prepared for.
The gallery holds its breath. Your pulse does not.
Slowly, carefully, you reach for his hand like you would in the dreamiest of dreams.
Jungkook stills.
His fingers are warm beneath yours, rough at the knuckles, tense. But he doesn’t pull away. Not from you. Never from you.
“Thank you,” you whisper. It doesn’t feel like enough, but it’s all you have. Like gratitude too big for language. Like grief softened into approbation. “This is—” Your throat closes, a breath hitching past your lips, eyes blinking away tears that had nothing to do with sorrow and everything to do with love."This is beautiful. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
Jungkook doesn’t speak, but something shifts in his face, something almost imperceptible. In a way that made him want to take this moment where you're looking at him like he had hung the stars back in the sky and bury it deep inside his ribs, somewhere no one could ever touch it.
And when he does speak, his hands intertwine with yours, eyes holding yours like gravity. "You're beautiful."
Your lips parted, caught off-guard.
A muscle of his cheek clenches. “I meant—your face is all red. It’s distracting.”
You smiled, watery and gentle, and he swore if he if he had even a silver of the talent his brother carried in the cradle of his hands, he would’ve painted you too.
With your face flushed from crying and the faint glimmer of laughter still clinging to your lashes. With your fingers looped between his like you didn’t even realize you were holding on.
He would’ve painted you in soft oils and pale light, your presence the only subject, the only truth. And maybe he’d leave a smear of color just beneath your eye where your tears had dried, like a signature only he could understand. Not even someone who could’ve looked at it years from now would have understood.
But Jungkook couldn’t paint.
Couldn’t even draw a straight line without it wobbling under pressure. He had no brushstroke to offer you, no canvas that could carry the weight of this feeling blooming in his chest like it had always belonged there.
So he squeezed your hand instead, pulled you into him and pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, repeating how you're so beautiful, how he wants to spend the rest of his life telling you so, how he will lay the world on your feet if you only just smile like that for him.
What he doesn't say is that he came back for this. He stayed for you. He'll always stay.
And how still, in the soft lull that followed, his mind—traitor that it was—pulled him somewhere else.
Back to the night he first listened to Minho’s voicemail.
He hadn’t planned to.
It had sat in his inbox for two weeks after Minho passed, unopened. Just a little notification bubble, small and silent, like it knew it wasn’t ready to be heard.
But that night, something in Jungkook had split.
Maybe it was the cold. Maybe it was the way the world kept turning like nothing had happened. Maybe it was just loneliness.
He’d climbed up to the roof of some rented building in Daegu, drunk off something cheap, the stars sharp above him, the world far below.
And he played it.
"Jungkook-ah." Minho’s voice cracked a little. Old, soft, raspy. Too gentle for someone whose lungs had been fighting him for years.Too familiar, too. The kind that had once read bedtime stories and yelled over bicycle crashes.
“I figured you’d be too pissed to pick up. Can’t blame you.” A soft chuckle, winded.
"I know it’s been a while. Years, actually." He waited, if considering whether it's worth a try or not before resuming. "Too long, huh?"
"I saw your name the other day. Don't even remember where. But it made me stop. Not that I got too much going on for me." Another shaky chuckle followed. "I don’t know what kind of life you’re living now. Maybe something busy. Maybe something brilliant. But if you’re hearing this… I want you to know I was proud. I am proud. Even when I was angry. Especially then, maybe. Even when I didn’t understand you. I watched you become your own person, and it scared the hell out of me. I didn’t wanted to see you turn into our father."
His voice wavered, raw and fraying.
"But you didn’t become him. You didn’t. And I wish I’d told you that sooner."
“Because you're my little brother. You always will be and I'm sorry I forgot that for a moment and I..I don’t know how much longer I’ve got so I had to tell you this." He paused, and Jungkook could almost hear the way Minho looked up at the ceiling when he was thinking. Like there was something celestial about regrets once they’d been said out loud.
"They don’t say it, but I can tell. I can see it in the beautiful brown of my wife's eyes."
Jungkook remembered pressing his palm against his chest like it could stop the ache. It couldn’t.
"Though it has dulled a shade ever since the coughing starting hurting worse. I suppose, I should be sorry for that too, but I don't want to die drowning in sorrys. I don't want to die regretting. Even if it kills me that I'll never hear your name in the news again, that I will never see her in morning light and think that heaven’s not far off."
He cleared his throat, like it hurt to speak. Maybe it did.
"I want to be content with all that I've had. With all that I've become. I want to be hopeful that the world will be kinder to her. To you. That you'd not spend your whole life outrunning ghosts."
Minho’s voice lowered, like it was just the two of them now. Like it had always been.
"I hope it’s not too late." I hope I'm not too late. "I hope—when the dust settles—you’ve still got something to hold onto. Someone. And I really hope she forgives you."
Silence stretched, one last time for minho, perhaps. For his little brother, it was the sound of his own breaking. He tried to hold his breath. Tried to stay still. But the pain didn't stay quiet. It raked up his throat, rude and coarse, until the first sob slipped out, ruptured and helpless. His hand, the one holding the phone, trembled violently. The other curled into a fist against his thigh, knuckles white, nails digging into his palm like that might stop the shaking.
It didn’t.
“I’ll be somewhere soft. Don’t rush. Just… be good. Remember your hyung. I love you, Jungkook-ah."
Static.
He pressed the phone harder to his ear, like if he clung to it tightly enough, Minho might speak again. That maybe—somehow—he could rewind, could stop it, could change everything.
Only static.
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"The centre of every poem is this: I have loved you. I have had to deal with that." — Salma Deera, Letters from Medea (2015).
541 notes · View notes
jellofish-plant · 3 months ago
Text
Third Wheel or Vigilant Chaperone?
Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader featuring Damian Wayne being his sassy, judgmental self Genre: Fluff, Humor Warnings: Mild language, a lot of sibling banter
[Masterlist]
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You weren’t sure what you expected when you agreed to help Jason catalog the books in the old Wayne Manor library, but you definitely didn’t expect to find Damian Wayne sitting cross-legged on the floor, arms crossed, looking at the two of you like you’d just declared yourselves enemies of the League of Assassins.
“This is not what the library was made for,” Damian said flatly, watching Jason toss a book over his shoulder with zero regard for its century-old spine.
Jason, lounging on the floor beside you with a pencil behind his ear and a devilish smirk, shot him a look. “What, romance?”
You choked on your laugh. “You wish.”
Jason nudged your side. “Oh please, you’ve been giving me heart eyes for the last twenty minutes.”
“I was looking at the fire extinguisher behind you,” you teased. “In case you lit something on fire. Again.”
Damian, clearly unimpressed, rolled his eyes. “If I have to witness one more moment of this grotesque courtship ritual, I will request to be transferred back to the Titans.”
“You say that like you didn’t willingly follow us in here and sit down like a judgmental cat,” Jason said, standing up and cracking his back. “You could’ve just not come.”
“I’m here to supervise,” Damian said primly. “Someone has to ensure the library remains in one piece.”
“He’s literally chaperoning us,” you whispered to Jason with a grin. “Like this is a middle school dance.”
Jason leaned in close, lips nearly brushing your ear. “Should I ask you to slow dance next? Maybe put on some Taylor Swift?”
“Absolutely not,” Damian snapped from behind a stack of encyclopedias. “I will not allow that in this house.”
You and Jason burst out laughing.
Eventually, Damian huffed, got up, and dramatically declared, “I’ll be in the Batcave where emotions are forbidden,” before sweeping out of the room like a tiny, angry prince.
You leaned back against Jason, shaking your head. “You know, I kind of love him.”
Jason wrapped an arm around you and smirked. “Yeah. He’s a menace. But he’s our menace.”
Tag list:
@dreamzaremyrealityy
@not-herexo 
@a-brilliante-mariposa
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wintersarge · 7 days ago
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all swinging- john walker
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summary: after your last mission, you’ve been avoiding john at all costs. what happens when he confronts you in the gym, late one night?
pairing: john walker x reader
word count: 2.4k
content: reader being a lovesick fool for john, yelena being a menace, feelings are eventually shared. fluff and hint of romance. some swearing.
A/N- this is written as a part two to ‘guns blazing’ which can be found here. may be able to be read alone, but probably makes more sense with the last fic. enjoy!
It had been a week since you last spoke to Walker.
The last time you’d talked, it was in the elevator post-mission, bloodied and bruised, exhaustion hanging heavy in the air.
The distinct ‘ding’ of the elevator had cut through the stillness, announcing your arrival to the top floor of the New Avengers tower. You spared a small glance over at John, who to your surprise, was already looking at you. You couldn’t quite make out his expression, though, his eyes guarded. He gave a smile, tight and calculated before he stepped out. You thought he was going to keep walking then, leave things unsaid. But then he stopped, turning back to you. 
“Look after your side,” he said, voice low and oddly sincere. “Change the gauze every few hours.”
You nodded, the corners of your mouth twitching into a tired smile. “I know what I’m doing, John.” 
He huffed a quiet breath. “And I know what you’re like. Don’t make it worse.”
And with that, he left. 
Now, you were basically hiding from him. Before, you might’ve searched for him in the hallways, cornering him to tease him about the way he had lost out in training to Bucky, or laugh about the way Yelena had caught him listening to Taylor Swift in his bedroom the week before. But everything felt wrong to you now, your demeanour too forced and fabricated around him. You stopped calling him names, stopped bickering back at him. And slowly, you started to refuse to be alone with him, always finding an excuse to leave when it was just the two of you. 
Simply put, you were avoiding him. Like the plague.
You didn’t know why you were suddenly so enamoured by him. You were supposed to be rivals, after all. You should hate him. You felt pathetic, like a giddy schoolgirl. It was something in the way he had grabbed you without second thought, hands working softly over your bloodied torso- hands you swear you could still feel ghosting over your hip days later. You saw a different side to him, one that didn’t mock you for how you ate your eggs or liked your coffee. It was all-consuming, how much you liked him now. You tried your hardest to push it down, to keep hating him for how much he got under your skin. But whatever you did, it wasn’t enough. Your disdain for him had melted away, simmering into something else entirely. It was driving you crazy. 
And, to make matters even worse, Yelena was beginning to suspect something was up with you and John.
“What is up with you and Walker?” You almost choke on your coffee, coughing violently as you place your mug down on the countertop. You frown, trying to play it cool. “What do you mean?” 
“I mean I’ve seen the way you look at him, when he’s not looking. I thought you hated him?”
“I do.” You answer too quickly, voice not entirely convincing. Yelena nearly laughs in your face.
“You’re a shitty liar. Plus, you don’t even talk to him anymore, you just stare longingly at him. It’s… creepy. Not that I’m entirely complaining, though, because it is nice to sit in the kitchen without your constant arguing.” You roll your eyes, mouth opening to speak. 
“Lena-”
“-And don’t think I haven’t noticed how you dart out of a room when you’re left alone with him. Do you know how annoying it is to be paired up with him in training? He’s insufferable. And throws hard punches. He comes out all swinging.” You swallow, trying and failing to school your expression. “I mean, god. What happened on that mission? Did you finally hate-fuck?” 
You actually spit your coffee out this time, coughing so hard you have to brace yourself against the counter.
“Yelena!” You gasp out, hot coffee dropping down your chin. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. “What the fuck?” You feel your cheeks heat up, and it’s suddenly very clear you’ve not been as subtle as you thought about your newfound feelings for John.
“Actually, no. Don’t tell me if you did” She screws her nose up, pulling an over-exaggerated face. “I don’t want to imagine John like that”
“Like what?” 
You freeze. 
John’s voice comes from behind you, all rough and American- his appearance painfully timed. You swear you feel your heart stop, wanting nothing more than the ground to swallow you up whole. You shoot Yelena a look that said ‘If you say a single word, I swear-’
“Nothing” You squeak out, not even attempting to look over at John. If you did, he’d see your bright red cheeks and the embarrassment coating your eyes. You can feel Yelena’s gaze burning into the side of your face, the way her chest heaved with a barely restrained laugh. 
John isn’t convinced by this, though. “You’re a terrible liar, Cupcake.” 
That fuck-ass nickname. He had penned it for you after you had managed to nearly burn the whole tower down when making (what was supposed to be) cupcakes with Bob. You wished you could click your fingers and disappear right about now. 
Yelena, however, was grinning like a Cheshire cat, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Ah, Walker we were just talking about how you two-”
“I have to go”, you blurt out suddenly. Your voice comes out too loud, cutting into Yelena’s teasing tone. “I- I need to talk to Val. Official avengers business, you know.” You couldn’t sound any less convincing if you tried. You didn’t wait for a response, turning on your heel and practically sprinting out of the kitchen into your room. You bang your head against the wood of your door, internally groaning. 
Smooth. Real smooth.
It took you another week to recover from the embarrassment of that interaction.
Another week of avoiding John like your life depended on it, and another week of glaring at Yelena when she made ‘subtle’ off-handed comments to provoke you, like:
“Walker, have you been working out more? You look stronger. Don’t you think so, __?”
Or,
“Your suit looks good today, __. Walker, tell her she looks good” 
It was starting to drive you mad. John didn’t seem to bat an eyelid at Yelena’s behavior though, which made you even more infuriated. You decided you needed a way to release the tension that had begun to build up, hating the way it spread through your body like a wildfire. 
This was how you found yourself in the compound’s gym, late one night. 
It had gone past 1AM, and you hadn’t slept at all- mind on override. You had tried to ignore it, clenching your eyes shut and willing yourself to sleep. Needless to say, it didn't work. You had even considered meditating or praying to whoever was out there, begging for a release from this love-struck wedge you had driven between you and John. This felt stupid, though, so you opted for a different solution: the gym. 
Before all of this, you would usually be in here with John, hair stuck to your face with sweat and breaths coming in quick pants as you dodged his hasty attacks. Now that you sparred with Yelena or Ava, sessions felt different. Flat. There was no thrill, no tension surfacing. You hated how much you missed it. 
You decided to channel your rage into the boxing bag that hung in the corner, fists rebounding against the worn leather. You knew you probably weren’t swinging in the way John had taught you to, or keeping your legs just the right distance apart for ‘optimal damage’, as he had said. You didn’t care though- not with all the images swirling behind your eyes.
His smile. Punch.
His eyes. Punch.
The way his shirt clung to him after training. Punch.
The way you wanted to grab him by the shoulders and ki-
“Your posture is all wrong” 
Your heart nearly fell out of your ass. You spun on your heel, eyes wide. “Jesus Christ, you scared me.” 
There, hovering in the doorway, was John. He was dressed casually, black sweatpants hung low on his waist. It took every ounce of your strength not to gawp at him. His hair was messy in the way it was after he showered, and you could smell his body lotion from across the room. God, he looked perfect.
“What are you doing up? Thought it was past your bedtime” He watches you from where he stood, a smug smile on his face. You rolled your eyes.
“Ha-ha. Very funny” You stepped away from the punchbag, swiping at your water bottle. You tried to ignore the way John was staring at you. 
“Seriously, though. You do know it’s 1:30? Odd time to be working out, don’t you think?” His voice had found that aggravating tone again, seeping with arrogance.
“Yes I’m aware of the time, Walker. I can read a clock, believe it or not” It was uneasy, how quickly you fell back into your old routine- all teasing and sarcastic. It then occurred to you that this was the first time in two weeks that you and John had been in the same room together, talking. You swallowed thickly, moving back to the punching bag. 
You hit at it again, harsher this time. Your knuckles were already red and you could see the skin beginning to peel, but you pushed through it. John hadn’t moved since he appeared, eyes locked onto the back of your head. You felt like a test subject, squirming under his gaze. 
“You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep punching like that” He said matter-of-factly. You bit back another retort, hands continuing their assault on the leather. You heard Walker make a disgruntled noise and suddenly he was behind you, his cologne invading your nostrils. 
“Stop.” It was murmured out, his breath hitting the back of your neck. The hairs there rose, and you faltered. “You know how you should punch. Show me.”
You felt delightfully trapped, his chest only inches from your back. It reminded you of how it felt to be in his arms, his strong hold keeping you tight against his body. You let out a small breath, your body working slower than your mind. Walker seemed to notice this and with an exhale, brought his hands out to help guide your position.
“Here. Your arms should be bent just slightly, and step apart. You want optimal damage, remember.” His fingers danced over your skin, the warmth of his freshly washed body enveloping your own. You could’ve passed out, there and then. You felt dizzy with it all. 
You clear your throat, assuming the position he gave you. You take a few swings at the bag, hits landing better than before. “See? Better. You’re doing good”
His praise was like music to your ears.
“Hold on a second” You stop, twisting your head around. John’s face was mere centimeters from yours, expression unreadable. He steps forward again, now basically pressed up against you. His hands drop down to your hips, grip somehow both strong and soft. He moves them slightly, adjusting your position again. “Go again”
You stutter, unable to even think straight. You could feel your cheeks burning and when you lifted your hand to punch, it shook lightly. John made no effort to step away, however, his big hands still planted firmly against your hips- the very place they had been just two weeks prior. 
“Come on, Cupcake. Don’t get shy now.”
You moved. Again and again, until you were throwing your fists with precision at the punchbag. John was smiling behind you, fingers flexing out over your hip bone.
“Good”
And then, 
“Good girl” 
You stopped then, completely flustered. John moved away with that stupid smug smile on his face. “What? Something I said?” You let out another hard sigh, hands raking over your hair. 
“Shut up, John”
There was a beat of silence, the air thickening between you. 
“Make me.”
Your jaw moves, mouth hanging open slightly. You didn’t know whether to kiss him or swing at him. 
“Fine”. You launch forward, hands connecting with his chest. You use all of your strength to push him back, and he stumbles into the fighting ring. 
“Game on, Walker”
You take a swing at him and he ducks out of the way, arms coming out to grab at your legs. You manage to kick them off, and with a twist, lay him down flat on the floor. You stand over him, chest rising and falling rapidly. He jerks forward, pulling you down with him and flipping you over on your back to straddle your waist. 
“You’ve been avoiding me all week. Why?” You struggle against him, bucking up slightly. He presses his forearm against your collarbone. 
He’s got you pinned down underneath him, his blue eyes boring down into yours.
“What is it, huh? You’ve been weird with me ever since I patched you up” 
“Get off me-” You strain, hands shooting out to punch against his chest. He doesn’t budge. 
“You’ve gotta hit harder than that, Cupcake. Come on, I know you can do it”. 
You grit your teeth, and by some miracle, manage to move him. You flip yourself over him, your thighs locking around his own. 
“Stop calling me that, Walker” He lets out a low laugh and shuffles underneath you and this time you advance forward, pinning your arm against his collarbone. Your face is the closest it’s ever been to his, and you find yourself looking down at his lips. 
Neither of you speak. The room is deadly quiet, only the sounds of your laboured breathing filtering through the air. 
Then, 
You rush forward, pressing your lips against his. It takes him by surprise and you’re certain he nearly stops breathing, hands flouncing against your hips. He presses his lips against you harder, and you reciprocate the action. He’s the first one to pull back, pupils blown wide and chest panting erratically.
“That’s why.” You’re panting too, hands balling into the fabric of John’s shirt. He looks confused for a fleeting second, but then a knowing look falls over his face. “Oh”
You swallow, a sense of dread beginning to build up your spine. Oh good, or oh bad?
John shatters this illusion though, voice coming out raspy. “I was wondering when you were going to do that” And then his hand finds your neck and he pulls you down into another kiss. 
“Too irresistible, huh? If I’d have known all it would take was to patch you up, I would’ve stabbed you myself” 
You snort out, rolling your eyes. 
“Shut up, Walker” 
all work is my own, i do not give permission for this to be reposted elsewhere without credit. you may not copy or claim as your own.
tag- @okbutiambabygorl
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solsticehymns · 4 months ago
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paper rings: drabble
james potter x f!reader / fluff / drunkenness / muggle au
summary: james potter did not propose. you, however, are fully committed to spreading misinformation.
a/n: i've seen videos of drunk girls doing this and i giggle every time. the guy is always just so done w her bullshit. this one is for any of my girls out there who also become loud and off putting when they drink 🩷 the few the proud. xoxo sunny ☀️🌻
wc: 419
you’re tipsy. maybe even more than tipsy. the pub had been warm and lively, filled with the scent of spilled drinks and sticky-sweet perfume, and you had been thriving, chatting with everyone—the bartender, the couple next to you, some poor guy just trying to order a pint.
james had found it adorable for the first hour, but then he realized that getting you home would be an olympic-level challenge.
which is why, instead of walking beside you like a normal boyfriend, he’s carrying you down the busy london street, arms hooked beneath your knees and back, determined to get you back before you start trying to hug strangers again.
except you, being you, have decided this is the best time to cause a scene.
“HE JUST PROPOSED!”
your voice rings out, high-pitched and gleeful, carrying over the city noise. several people turn their heads, but the ones who really react are a group of girls outside a cocktail bar, who immediately start shrieking.
“OH MY GOD, CONGRATULATIONS!” one of them gasps, clutching her friend’s arm.
james does not stop walking.
“no, no, no, no, no—” he mutters under his breath, gripping you tighter as if that will somehow stop the chaos from unfolding. “she’s lying! i didn’t propose! that didn't happen!”
“he’s just shy,” you tell the girls conspiratorially, voice full of faux sympathy.
“SO CUTE!” one of them giggles, and james physically groans, like this is his worst nightmare come to life.
“not gonna marry you if you don’t get your act together, love,” he huffs, adjusting his grip on you as he keeps walking.
you gasp, gripping his shirt with wide, scandalized eyes. “OH, so you were planning to propose?”
james’ jaw tightens, but you see the way the corner of his mouth twitches upward, his pink cheeks betraying him.
“not telling you that,” he murmurs, voice low and smug, eyes flickering down at you with something secret, something warm.
your mouth drops open. “so you are!”
he grins but doesn’t say another word, just leans down and presses a quick, fleeting kiss to your forehead, then keeps moving, determined to remove you from the scene of the crime.
“okay, menace,” he mutters, voice half-exasperated, half-endearing, “let’s get you home before you start taking addresses for wedding invitations.”
you beam up at him, all tipsy and giggly and entirely unrepentant. “happiest day of my life.”
and james? despite the absolute chaos you just put him through?
he just laughs, because of course you’re his happiest day, too.
☀️🌻 masterlist
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gojonanami · 2 years ago
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FIVE TIMES NANAMI WANTED TO PROPOSE BUT DIDN'T - NANAMI KENTO
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✴︎ summary: nanami wanted to propose to you so many times - but it was never the right time, and then, there was no time left. ✴︎ contents: 18+ only, swearing, ANGST (major spoilers for jjk 120 (probably next week's episode, character death, exploration of grief, if you wish to avoid the major angst: stop reading after part 5), SMUT (fingering (f! receiving), oral (f! + m! receiving), panty sniffing, semi public sex, nipple play, creampie, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms), pet names (love, sweetheart), happy ending (sort of?) ✴︎ wc: 10,121 (i have a problem) ✴︎ song: the archer - taylor swift (blame laney for this)
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ONE.
The first time Kento Nanami wanted to propose to you shouldn’t count. 
And it won’t because it was when he first met you — enrolled into Jujutsu Tech along with the other first years, he first laid his eyes on you at a welcome party that the soon to be menace to his sanity, Satoru Gojo, had organized. Well, he could thank Gojo for one thing it was introducing you to the room — because he may have had to find the words to ask you himself. And he didn’t know if that was possible with his tongue in knots. 
But he managed to talk to you — mostly with Haibara leading the conversation. You were reserved, at first, but he saw the spark in your eyes whenever you spoke about something you were passionate about — reading was one, one thing you both shared a love for. 
“Yeah hauling my books to Jujutsu Tech wasn’t an easy feat, I had to ask Geto-senpai to have some of his cursed spirits help me haul it up to my dorm,” 
“By the way, you still owe me lunch for that,” Geto smirks as he slips past, and the flush that settles on your cheeks is one Nanami wanted to see — again and again. 
“Aren’t the upperclassmen supposed to buy lunch?” You grumble, pouting as Gojo interjected himself, resting himself on your shoulder with his arm, making you jump. 
“Not here, here the kouhais earn their keep,” he grins, tilting his glasses down, “can you?” 
And Nanami opens his mouth to reply, irritation creeping over his senses, before you brush Gojo off, “I’ll buy you lunch, but next time, if that’s what it’s gonna cost me, I’m going to have you two haul my books by hand up those steps,” You stick out your tongue, before your arms curl around his and Haibara, “let’s have cake,” you smile at both of them, gaze lingering on Nanami, “and we can exchange book recommendations?” 
That was the moment he wanted to propose — could see himself living in a home with you, filled with both of your books lining the walls of a personal library, but your living room as well. He could see himself falling asleep beside you as you read to him, your fingers carding through his hair. 
But no, no, it was irrational, he chided himself, as he talked to you, his lips curled in a smile that had damned him from the moment he saw it. He just had met you — he had barely been ever moved by another person, much less fallen in love. And it shouldn’t happen this quickly — it only happened this quickly in books — not in real life. 
But you — he watched you and Haibara chat and laugh — you were someone that might just be the thing of books.  
~~~~ 
TWO.
The second time he wanted to propose, he didn’t care to remember. 
And he barely did. 
He remembers the facts of the mission. It was supposed to be simple — exorcise a grade 2 curse, simple enough for him and Haibara to handle by themselves. Not that they had a choice. Jujutsu Tech’s resources were already far too spread thin — Gojo himself being sent all over Japan and even overseas to handle things himself that no one should be able to. But their mission? It should have been simple — dangerous still, but simple. 
But nothing was simple when it came to curses. 
He remembers sensing the curse — the manifestation had frozen him and Haibara for a moment — their bodies taut with fear and adrenaline — but they couldn’t move. Even as the cursed spirit screeched before them, he couldn’t articulate what was happening — it was supposed to be a grade 2, it was supposed to be a grade 2, but no — this was a grade 1. 
And then it struck — Kento barely had enough time to react, but he did, pushing Haibara out of the way when it did. 
He didn’t remember much after that. 
He remembered the squelch of Haibara’s flesh, the blood seeping through his clothes, the way his body crumpled on the ground, and he remembered the next moment was the first time he landed a black flash — stunning the curse enough for him to grab Haibara and escape. 
But not enough to save him. 
Haibara had made him promise if anything had ever happened to him — he would make sure his sister wasn’t recruited to Jujutsu Tech. And he had to make the call to his family — he couldn’t bear the thought of some higher up taking advantage of their grief to manipulate another into their clutches. 
No, he couldn’t let that happen. 
And now he sat in the morgue with his body, towel covering his eyes — Geto had come and went — and now he sat waiting for the body to be examined and taken away to be burned. Burned to ash with nothing left — that was the way all sorcerers bodies were disposed of. It was if they never existed in the first place - pawns in a never ending war that would have them piled like corpses on a sacrificial pyre. 
What was the point? 
Haibara had always told him — if there was something only he could do, he would do it. And for him it was jujutsu — but wasn’t there something else? Something else for him to do that didn’t let him up like this? A body on a metal slab waiting to be incinerated. What was the point? 
Was there even a point? People lived and people died. He had lived and Haibara died, but he didn’t know why. Why or how do people live one day and disappear the next? He had seen death before but not of someone so close — someone so precious to him. And the chaos was too much for him. To be killed by another’s twisted feelings manifested into a monster — it was almost poetic if it wasn’t so fucking tragic. 
“Nanami?” And he pulls the towel from his eyes, and sees you — your eyes glassy and red tinged — tear streaks you didn’t hide well left on your face, “Nanami—“ and you don’t know what to do with yourself — as you come to him, hesitating, “can I—“ 
But he’s the one pulling you into his arms, nearly into his lap as his fingers dig into the fabric of your jacket, “I’m sorry — I’m so sorry I wasn’t there—“ your voice breaks, and it’s enough to break him — he hadn’t really cried, not around another person, but tears well at your words, as your fingers card through his hair. 
“You have nothing to be sorry for — I’m the one—“ and his voice breaks in turn, as the words stuck in his mind going round and round, until they were nearly had shattered his sanity and skull along with it, “I’m the one who couldn’t save him,” 
And you pull back to look at him with tear stained cheeks, “that’s not your fault, Nanami—“ 
“How is it not?” His words are laced with more venom that he wishes them to be, a little more bite than he wished to chew, and the hurt in your eyes was enough to make him regret speaking altogether, “I’m so—“ 
“No, it’s not your fault, Kento,” and his eyes find yours, your lips twisted in a frown, and your gaze unwavering, “I know a part of you knows that — knows that…Haibara’s death is nothing but a function of this shitty system we’ve been funneled into. Nothing more. Nothing less. And you know,” your voice grows softer, “you know Haibara wouldn’t want you blaming yourself for this. You know what he’d say?” You almost chuckle, “he’d tell you not to sweat it. To keep going. That you got it, right?” 
He gives a terse chuckle in return, shaking his head, as his head tilts into your chest again, “How do we—“ 
“I don’t know,” you murmur, you don’t need him to say more, “I don’t know how we do this without him, but we have to. We have to for him,” and your hand cups his face, tilting his chin up so he looks up at you, “together?”
And he wants to ask you then — ask you to marry him. He doesn’t know when he would get a chance. You were the only thing that made his life make sense — the only thing that made him feel okay, feel safe, for once. He was so tired of never feeling that way. And he had just lost the one other person who made him feel that way. 
He knew you wouldn’t say yes. You couldn’t. You were both so young still, still reeling from Haibara, still stuck in this system that could kill either of you at any time. But still…wasn’t that all the more reason to do it? 
But as you pulled him into another tight hug, he knew he wouldn’t last much longer in the Jujutsu world. He couldn’t — he couldn’t take another loss like this. He didn’t know if he could bear it. But as his tears wet your jacket, surrounded by you — your scent, your soft breath, your warm presence — he would try. 
He would try for you. And his eyes slid to Haibara’s body covered by a sheet — and for him. 
~~~
THREE.
“After graduation, I’m leaving,” it was a late night, a couple days before graduation that he told you. The soft pitter-patter of rain was the only thing heard from int the silence before he spoke. You laid on the foot of his bed, reading a book, while he sat cross legged at the head of it, his eyes fixed on you. 
Your gaze lifts from your book, brow furrowed in confusion, “Leaving?” 
“I can’t be a jujutsu sorcerer,” his words are as plain as always, “I can’t do it. I’m going to go to college and pursue some other line of study—“ 
And you sit up slowly, putting your book aside, and he expects protests, expects you to convince him otherwise, expects you to try and stop him, but all you ask is one question, “are you sure?” 
It catches him by surprise — as you always seemed to. He could anticipate enemy attacks, analyze their next moves five steps ahead, plan three routes of escape, and even predict what garbage will come out of Satoru Gojo’s obscene mouth, but you — you always could surprise him. 
“I am,” he finally answers softly, “this society is shit, you know that. And these past few years have shown me that the difference I make isn’t worth the toll it’s taking, especially when I’m not changing anything,” 
“Kento, you do make a difference,” your fingers find his, intertwining with ease, such ease he can’t help but think that’s what it was meant for, “you do — even if you can’t see it, I just want you to know, you do. For the people you help, even if you don’t see them, for the other sorcerers you inspire, and for me,” 
And he chuckles, “even you?” And you roll your eyes, pouting — the same pout that makes him want to lean over and kiss you until your lips are utterly ruined. 
“Even me,” you toss a pillow at him, and he catches it with ease, and you scowl playfully, “y’know i’m gonna miss you, but I’m not gonna miss that,” 
“What? My quick reflex—“ and you smack him with another pillow and giggle, the noise making his lips quirk into a smile even as you laughed at him, hands covering your lips. 
“What was that, Mr. Ratio? Your quick—“ and he’s tossing a pillow right back smacking you in the face, making his lips curl in a rare grin (though not so rare when he was with you—“ 
And you pull the pillow off, your face grim, “Oh, it’s so on—“ you’re tossing a pillow, but it’s only a diversion as you lunge for him, assumedly to mess up his hair, but he’s caught you by the wrist, his other hand around your waist as he’s gotten you pinned to the bed. 
Time stops. 
He’s breathing heavily, and you are too — from the rise and fall of your chest, but he can hardly hear anything over the blood rushing in his ears. Your lips part as you look up at him — you’re dressed in your sleep clothes, a thin tank top and shorts — and it would be so easy to lean down, let his palm slide under his shirt. He sees your eyes flicker down his body the same — climbing back up before pausing at his lips. 
It wasn’t a good idea. He was leaving. You both were graduating. Who knows when he would see you again — yet, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. Not when this is what he wanted for so long, when he wanted you for so long. But maybe he should — maybe it would be easier, he couldn’t ask you to leave Jujutsu Tech. Just as you couldn’t ask him to stay. He knew you would stay to honor Haibara’s memory, to carry on his legacy — the one thing sorcerers could do for their fallen comrades. 
Sometimes the only thing. 
And sometimes it was the only thing they couldn’t do.  
“Kento—“ your voice pulls him from his reverie, as your fingers brush against his cheek, “are you going to hover over me forever, let me go, or…” and your teeth graze your lip, “are you going to kiss me?” 
And he’s blinking, cheeks most assuredly flushing, as your fingers graze the back of his neck, and his mouth is dry, as he looks down on you. 
But he doesn’t need to asked twice, as he leans even closer, delighting in how your breath catches, looming over him, “do you want me to kiss you?” And the telltale quirk of his lips makes you gape at him, drawing a laugh from him. 
“I hate you,” you murmur, as his lips finally brush yours, swallowing those playfully bitter words with them — and your lips are even softer than he imagined, your fingers settling themselves on the back of his neck, brushing the hair that rested there. 
And when he pulls away; his heart squeezes at the sight of your kiss ruined lips parted as you pant slightly, eyes fluttering open to look up at him as if to ask why did you stop? And he can’t help but smile. 
“It’s too bad because I love you—“ the words slip from his mouth — but he doesn’t regret it. How can he? When he might not get another chance. 
And he thinks his heart will stop at your silence again, the pitter-patter of raindrops ringing in his ears again, before your lips finally curl. 
“You love me, huh?” You’re leaning up and kissing him, lips finding his again and again — and how is it that he’s already addicted? You taste like honey, and sunshine, and something headier — sending heat warmer than liquor throughout his body that only made him crave more of you, and you finally pull away, and you’re smiling, “good thing I love you too,” 
And he can’t believe his ears, he can’t believe you love him too — all these years he thought it was one-sided, that he was deluding himself with all the times your fingers found his, your eyes met across a classroom with a smile, and the times he found himself falling asleep next to you all those nights neither of you wanted to be asleep, your arm curled around his.  
But you did. You loved him. And he loved you. 
And as your lips met again, he knew, he knew he still couldn’t ask you. Couldn’t ask you because he knew you maybe wouldn’t say no — and he couldn’t ask that of you. Not when it wasn’t what you wanted. Not when he knew you could do the good he couldn’t bring himself to do. And you would — because you were the best person he knows. 
He loves you. And therefore he had to let you go. 
But — as he lingered over you on his bed, his body hovering over his as he dragged his thumb over your red, puffy lips, before leaning down for another kiss — 
He didn’t have to let you go this second. 
~~~~
FOUR.
It’s years before he sees you again. 
It wasn’t purposeful. Not exactly anyway. 
It was just easier. Easier not to have to think of you still at the place he once was. Still fighting the same curses he would have been fighting with you. Still risking your life day in and day out. While he…he only had money to worry about. To think about. To obsess about. 
Money. Money. Money. Money. 
How was this somehow shittier than what the jujutsu world? He had considered going into a more humanitarian profession, but when his goal was to retire early, why waste time? If he wanted to help people…he glances at his phone — the one vice he allowed himself,  a picture of you that you had sent him when you got promoted to Grade 1 saved as his screensaver — he could have stayed by your side. 
No, he wanted to retire. Find himself a nice place to retire to — he hadn’t decided the exact location yet. Somewhere peaceful. With nothing but beaches and sky and sand and books for him to read, to reclaim his life page by page. But to get there — he had to slop through this shit work — making the rich richer. 
The same in the jujutsu world, and the same here as well. 
And it was one day after he had exorcised a curse from his favorite bakery’s worker, he had felt anything good — anything remotely good — in far too long. Your words rang in his ears — you make a difference. 
Was he making a difference by lining the pockets of the rich? Maybe his sorcery wouldn’t change  the world, move minds or hearts, pivot the course of history — but maybe he could have his own impact. And not feel like complete shit when he woke up every morning. 
And he wouldn’t — he knew he wouldn’t — if he could just see you smile again. Even if he could just see you again. He pulls out his phone, staring at your picture. And maybe…maybe even more. 
“Hello, Gojo? I’d like to return to Jujutsu Tech,” and he hears laughter on the other end, “why are you laughing?” 
“Kento?” You drop the pen you’re holding, as he steps into your office. And your lips are parted in surprise, your eyes fixed on his, “what are you—“ 
“I’m coming back, to Jujutsu Tech, I’m going to be a sorcerer again,” and he knows what you’ll ask, he knows you’re going to ask why — you’re going to ask him if he’s sure. And he doesn’t know how to tell you except by saying it’s because of you. 
But you don’t say anything, your chair screeches back as you get up, clattering backwards and suddenly as you’re running into his arms. Your face is buried in his chest, and he can feel the tears against his shirt, and his arms curl around you, fingers running through your hair, “I missed you so much,” you murmur, and then you look up at him, fingers tracing his cheeks, gingerly moving his glasses away, “you look tired,” 
“I am, but I’m better now,” he’s murmuring — and how is it that you send him right back to where he started, right back to where you always send him. It doesn’t even take a touch — only a glance, a whiff, a second — “I missed you too,” he adds, “a lot,” 
And you push him playfully, pouting up at him, “Could have fooled me. You barely ever called or texted me all these years. You talked more to Gojo than you did me,” 
“That’s only because that flippant idiot won’t stop calling until I pick up,” he grumbles — Gojo was the last thing he wanted to talk about in his moment — his fingers caress your cheek, tracing the line of your cheekbone, “I wanted to talk to you — I did, I just, I knew if I talked to you, I might say something I’d regret,” 
“And what would you regret saying to me?” You raise an eyebrow, and his eyes are sliding away from him. 
Asking you to come see him, asking you to leave Jujutsu Tech for him, asking you to be with him — every question that he wanted to ask, but never could. 
“It’s not important—” and your hand cups his cheek guiding his eyes back to yours, and he knew you weren’t going to let this go, “If I talked to you, I knew it would end one of three ways — one, I’d ask you to leave Jujutsu Tech; two, I’d come back to Jujutsu Tech; or three, you’d ask me one of these yourself — but I knew I couldn’t do that,” 
And your brows knit together, “Why not?” 
“Because it had to be our own decision — I couldn’t leave and you couldn’t leave, just because the other asked,” he murmurs, his gaze softening, “it wouldn’t be fair to either of us — or the other — to feel like the only reason we’re together was because of guilt or want for the other, not for ourselves,” 
You consider his words for a moment, “I would have left if you asked me,” 
“I know, and I would have come back if you had,” 
“But we didn’t,” and your fingers cup his face, “you remember what I said to you that night that we kissed?” 
And he swallows the lump in his throat, his heart rattling against his chest, “You said, you didn’t want to go further because it would only hurt more when we had to go our separate ways,” and your hand slides up his chest slowly, the other already resting against his neck, and his find their way to you — one hand holding your waist and the other cupping your cheek, “but we’re not separate anymore, are we?”  
“I hope the wait was worth it,” you smile, as both close the gap, lips meeting again and again — and you taste the same, but even better somehow — and he’s only pulling you closer, lips curled in a smile so wide that he hadn’t felt in so long, so long.
“Always, when it's you,” he murmurs against your lips, before his lips begin to trail kisses down your jaw and then your neck, his teeth brushing against your pulse, pulling a gasp from your lips, “good girl,” And he feels your knees buckle against his and he’s walking you backwards into the edge of your desk, “is anyone left on campus?” and you’re shaking your head, your eyes flitting to the door, as he makes you sit on your desk, thighs parted for him to settle between. 
“The door—” 
“Locked,” he replies, drawing back only a moment to take in the image before him — your lips red and ruined, chest rising and falling as you look disheveled at best, sexed at worst, and your eyes — your eyes swirled with lust, half lidded and desperate for his touch— “didn’t want any interruptions,” 
Just as he was. 
His fingers draw up a strand of your hair and kisses it, and your lips part, “Kento, please—” 
“Please, what, my love?” his voice is low and teasing, as his fingers peel back your jacket, pulling it off your shoulders, “you’re going to have to be more specific,” his lips find your neck, soft, wet kisses that has your body leaning into his, “I’m not a mind reader,” 
“But you are a tease,” you pout, and he only smiles, leaning down to do the thing he always wanted to — he kisses the pout off your lips, moaning lightly when your lips part for his tongue, his hands dragging down your sides, as your fingers loosen his tie, “I think you will be doing overtime with me today, Nanami-Sensei,” 
And he grunts, as your fingers free him of his tie, joining your jacket on the floor, “I’m not going to be a teacher, just a sorcerer,” his teeth graze right under your chin, nibbling, “so you’re the only sensei here — are you going to teach me what you’ve learned the last few years?” 
And you toy with the top button of his blue button-up, “Oh, I’ll teach you, Kento,” and you’re starting to undo his buttons, as he busies himself undoing yours, “the question is whether you can handle it,” 
“Beautiful,” he murmurs in reverence, and his fingers finally undo the buttons, sliding your shirt off your shoulders, eyes raking over your chest — sharp blue gaze lingering on the erect nipples poking through the fabric for your bra, “You’ve always been the one thing I can’t handle,” his mouth leans down, closing around one clothed nipple, while he teased the other with his fingers, and he delights in your gasp, the noise sending heat right down to his already aching cock, “but I’m willing to try, my love,” 
“You still love me?” You murmur, as he shrugs off his own shirt, perfect abs teasing into a v-line, all this muscle hidden under his business attire — and you knew he still must work out, and he did. He did in case he ever needed to come back — come back for you. 
“Who says I ever stopped?” His nose buried in the nape of your neck now, as his fingers teasingly snap the strap of your bra, “you smell so good, so perfect,” and his fingers undo your bra and it joins the pile of clothes growing on the floor, “there wasn’t a day I didn’t think about you — a night that i didn’t dream of you, that I didn’t want you,” 
“Kento—“ you whimper, as he tugs at your skirt, a quick glance for your nod, and he slides it down your legs, bunching at your ankles until you kick it off. Your cheeks burn as he’s kissing your way down your body, his mouth teasing the other nipple he had neglected, trailing hot kisses down your stomach, until he reaches the fabric of your panties, “I need—“ 
“Been wanting to taste this for so long,” and he’s kneeling between your parted thighs, still calloused fingers parting your plush flesh, tongue flicking over his dry lips at the sight of the dark wet patch at the crotch of your underwear. And you look down at him, eyes glazed over with unadulterated lust that is almost enough to have him cumming in his pants, “so sweet,” he’s murmuring as he noses your clothes cunt, and you jerk, as he pulls the crotch aside, “wonder if you taste as sweet as you smell,” 
“Kento—“ and his tongue drags over the length of your dripping cunt, nose bumping against your clit, as your thighs curl around him, pulling him closer, closer — “fuck—“ 
“Such a filthy mouth,” he tuts, smiling against your cunt as his tongue teases your folds, “almost as filthy as you are down here,” and his finger begins to part your walls, making your thighs shake and quake, his lips close around your clit, sucking. 
You’re a mess of moans and pants, hips grinding against his touch, as one hand tries to muffle your moans, the other is curled in his blonde locks, “taste even better than I imagined — just f’me, only for me,” You’re so close, as he parts your folds with another finger, sinking knuckle deep, as his fingers brush against that one spot that has you parting your lips in a silent moan, head thrown back — and the heat deep in your stomach is going to snap. 
KNOCK KNOCK. 
You both freeze, your cunt jerking around his fingers, as you bite your lip — maybe if you’re silent, they’ll go away— but Kento clicks his tongue, a smile on his glossy  cum covered lips, mouthing, “Speak,” and you gape at him, chest still heaving, as you shake your head, before he’s curling his fingers just right. 
Fucker. 
You hear Gojo’s voice, calling your name, “You in there?” 
You swallow thickly, meeting Kento’s gaze — he’s not backing down, “Yeah, sorry I’m in the middle of something — do you need something?” 
“I was just wondering if you heard from a certain salaryman, or should I say, ex-salaryman?” the very one that was burying his face back in your still sensitive pussy, slurping and licking, despite Gojo being right outside. 
You have to bite back your moans, swallowing them as you speak, “You mean Nana—ah—mi?” And you feel the very same sorcerer smirk against your abused cunt, a third finger finding its way inside you, “ha-haven’t heard from him, and what do mean ‘ex?’” 
You do your best at acting, but it’s hard when his mouth closes around your clit, sucking hard, as your fingers curl in his hair, biting your lip so hard, as he fucks your pussy in earnest with his fingers — how can Gojo not hear the nasty squelch of your cunt? 
“He left his job. He’s coming back to Jujutsu Tech,” and he takes a beat, “I’ll take my leave,” and he chuckles, “have fun you two, and Nanami?” You feel your face flush, “don’t be too rough with her — we need our best teacher available to teach tomorrow,” 
You hear his laugh all the way down the hall, and you’re covering your face — those fucking six eyes — but Kento’s tugging your hands away, “Pay attention to the one who’s filling you, love,” and he’s burying his face in your cunt, fucking you even harder — hitting that spot over and over, until you cum, back arching, as he’s pulling his fingers out to lap up the slick dripping from you, “delicious,” he murmurs, kissing your still sensitive clit, before he’s looking up at you — all fucked out, your chest rising and falling with every pant, your lips kiss ruined red — “and so beautiful,” 
His licks his lips clean of your cum, wiping the rest with the back of his hand, as he rises to your feet, “Kento, please,” you’re murmuring, his hands slide over your body, squeezing your hips, “I need you,” 
“What do you need—“ and his words are cut off by your fingers reaching for his buckle, the clink of the metal as you undid it, along with the button, tugging his pants and boxers down.
He hisses as his too sensitive dick slaps his stomach, your lips parting, eyes in a trance, “So pretty, Kento,” your fingers traces one of his veins to his already leaking tip, “and so fucking big,” you murmur, teasing the bead of precum on his slit, making him groan, “can’t wait to have this inside me — been waiting ten years,” 
And he’s sliding your hand away, pressing his hips flush to yours, as your legs wrap around his waist, “That long huh?” And his lips find yours again, letting you taste yourself, “and I thought I was the only one pining,” 
“So you admit you were pining for me?” And he laughs, as you smile up at him — like all the times he had hoped you would — “I had a crush from almost the moment I met you,” 
“You could have fooled me,” he presses kisses up and down your jaw, drawing a moan from both of you as he teases your puffy clit with his aching tip, “I thought you had a crush on Geto,” and you scoff. 
“Geto? So you were jealous of him — that’s why you always had that sour look whenever I studied with him,” you grin even wider, “well you had nothing to worry about - I had a crush on very gloomy boy and no one else ever caught my eye,” 
And he softly smiles, and it seems to ebb away the years — the trauma and the tiredness — and left only him, your Kento. 
“Is that right?” He asks before kissing you again, his fingers finding the back of your neck to deepen the kiss, as you moaned, muffled by his mouth, “I want—“ 
“I know, me too, please — don’t keep me waiting any longer,” and how could he refuse a request like that? 
He’s sinking into you, thick cock parting your dripping folds until he hilts himself fully in you, his fingers digging your hips — and you’re so full, too full. And you’re perfect — perfect walls wrapped around him, so warm and so tight — it’s enough for him to neatly blow his load then and there. 
But he can’t, can’t when he’s waited this long to do this. You’re whimpering, “S’good, Kento, too good,” your walls flutter around him as his hips shift lightly, “please, please move—“ his hands find your legs, lifting them higher to find a better angle, fingers digging into your soft thighs. 
And his hips slowly thrust into you, edging you with his shallow thrusts, and you’re whining, “Kento—“ 
“Look at the mess you’re making all over your desk,” he’s guiding your gaze with two fingers on your chin, making you watch where his cock is sunk into you, “taking me so well, practically swallowing me, good fuckin’ girl,” he grunts, “want it harder? Want me to fuck you?”
Your desk is already creaking under your weights and the movements, you’re nodding wordlessly, lips parted, “Kento, please, I need—“ and you watched his cock pull out only to slam back in. Your head falls back, moaning his name again and again. 
The squelch of your cunt rang in his ears over and over, as he grunts, barely keeping himself from cumming, especially when you begin to roll your hips into him, “You’re so pretty, and all mine — just mine,” and his lips find yours again, just as your walls flutter at his words, “like that? Like it when I claim you, love with my cock fucking you?” And his vulgar words only makes you tighter, and he grunts, “‘m close, sweetheart,” 
“Me too—g’nna cum—“ and his dick reaches that spot right as his thumb bears down on your clit, teasing it in circles, until you’re moaning his name as you cum. Your walls clamp down, soaking his cock, a white ring of cum around his base as he fucks you through your orgasm. 
His eyes meet yours as you do, watching your high overcome you, twitching and moaning — and he doesn’t last much longer. His hips stutter against you in shallow thrusts until he’s notching himself deep inside, groaning as he cums, hot seed painting your walls white. 
“So perfect,” he murmurs, as he kisses your sweat slicked forehead, “so good,” and he’s grunting as he pulls out, watching your mixed releases trickle out, leaking all over your desk and onto the floor. He drags his cock over your weeping cunt, watching it flutter around nothing. 
“Kento,” you murmur, gazing up at him, utterly blissed out as your lips curl, your legs slipping off his waist as he settles down on your desk, “I love you,” 
And his heart squeezes — is he dreaming? He must be dreaming — because nothing in his life has ever been so good. So wonderful. So perfect. It didn’t happen for him — it never happened for him. 
“I love you too,” he murmurs reverently, his fingers trailing over your jaw, “so much — you don’t know how much, darling,” 
“Think you can quantify it for me, Mr. Salaryman?” And he snorts, burying his face in the crook of your neck. 
“Don’t call me that,” he kisses your neck — you smelled so good, were you real? 
“Then what should I call you?” 
And he wanted to ask you then — ask you to call him your husband, to marry you, to buy that ring he had looked at from time to time when he thought about marrying you. But you just found your way back to each other — hell, he had just slept with you in your office, not even a bed. It was too soon, but — his lips curled — he was closer than he had ever been before. And he wouldn’t wait, he wouldn’t hesitate, not when it was you. He wouldn’t let you slip through his fingers. 
He smiles, “Just call me yours.” 
~~~~ 
FIVE.
Today was the day. 
He was finally going to ask. That’s what he thought when he looked at you, still in bed, bathed in the dappled sunlight let in by his parted curtains. You were still fast asleep beside him, body curled up so your body was pressed against him. He ran his fingers through your hair gently not to wake you, “I love you,” he murmurs, as opens his bedside drawer, pulling a ring box and notecard from it — and he stares at it. 
He’d ask you. He would ask you to marry him — finally take you on that vacation to Malaysia you both had talked about for too long, read all the books you both had put off, and lounge on the beach — and do much more in your hotel room. And then maybe, maybe he could ask you to retire from jujutsu. 
He had always promised himself, promised that he wouldn’t be a sorcerer when he got married. He couldn’t bear the thought of leaving a family behind to mourn him — but even more than that, he couldn’t bear the thought to lose you, to call you his wife, call you his soulmate — and have you fall away from him. 
He would rather be the one to die. 
But this way — he rises, grabbing his clothes for the day, and slipping the ring and the note into his coat pocket — neither of you would have to worry about losing the other. At least to a curse. 
“Where are we going?” You giggle as he drags you along the street, packed with people, more than usual. He keeps you close, an arm wrapped around you, especially for a Wednesday evening. What date was it? He had seemingly lost track of everything he had planned. 
“It’s Halloween,” you remind him without him asking the question, “explains all costumed people and the packed streets — we should definitely avoid Shibuya — the crowds there would be insane,” 
“How’d you know—“ and you tap his forehead with a smile. 
“I could see your gears grinding, Kento,” you smile, resting your head against his shoulder, “and it’s just like you to forget it’s Halloween,” 
“Is it?” he chuckles, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “well good thing I have you to remind me,”
“Very good thing, and I have you to remind me about everything else,” and he nods, and you elbow him, “you don’t have to remind me of that much!”
“You were leaving the house yesterday and you forgot your wallet, keys, and purse — you almost forgot to put on shoes—“ and you’re covering his mouth his your hand. 
“How about you remind me about where we’re going?” And he smiles against your hand, before kissing it gently, pulling it from his lips and kissing the back of your hand as well, making you flush. 
“Why ruin the surprise—” and then both of your phones ring — the two of you share a dark look, glancing at your phones and seeing the same message — Emergency: veil has fallen over certain areas of Shibuya. All available sorcerers report. 
“I guess we are going to Shibuya,” you sigh, running your fingers through your hair, “we should—” 
“We should stop by the apartment — we both left all our equipment there and I need to change,” and you nod, as his fingers toy with the ring box in his pocket, a sigh stuck in his throat. When will he ever get the chance to do this right? Finally, he had worked up the nerve and this—this had to happen. 
“Hey,” you cup his cheek, a soft smile on your face, “I’m sorry our plans are falling through, and just when I was going to make you give up this secret surprise,” 
His lips curl, as his arm pulls you even closer,  “I don’t recall agreeing to give up any secrets,” and you lean up and kiss him, soft and sweet quickly turning heady — neither of you were ones for public displays — but for some reason, it just felt right. And you part, breath warming his lips with a wide grin. 
“Oh, you would have,” and he laughs, squeezing your hips, as he rests his forehead against yours, “We’ll pick this up right after we deal with this problem.” 
He nodded, leaning down to kiss you again and again, his fingers still toying with the box in his pocket. And he wanted to ask right then, just drop to his knee in the middle of this packed street full of costumed weirdos and freaks, mission be damned, jujutsu be damned — but he didn’t want to do it like this. 
He wanted it to be a time where both of you were safe, where you could celebrate without the fear of danger beating down your necks, where he could talk to you, hold you, kiss you — without fear it would be the last. Because he always wondered when it would be the last. But it wouldn’t be — he’d do anything to make it back, to finally take that step with you, the one he’d been waiting for over ten years to take. Take that vacation you both wanted with his ring on your finger, and retirement from Jujutsu around the corner. 
And he squeezes your hand, “Promise?” and you lean into him, pulling him along the street back to your shared apartment. 
“Promise.” 
~~~ 
He wouldn’t be able to keep his promise. 
That’s what kept repeating in his mind with every step he took. He couldn’t really feel much — not anymore. That special grade curse had burned him — burned half of his body to a crisp, he could barely smell the burning flesh anymore. All he could do was keep moving. Moving. Moving. Moving. 
But he didn’t want to move anymore — he was tired. So tired. He couldn’t feel much, but he could feel the weight of having to keep going, even if he didn’t want to. 
And now, he stands before a swarm of…curses? Transfigured humans? He didn’t know — he could barely see at this point out of his one remaining eye — he could barely keep it open, still drooping even as the monsters loomed before him. 
“Malaysia…Yeah, Malaysia…Kuantan would have been nice,” the recommendation he had gotten from Mei Mei when trying to decide on a vacation for you and him to take — who better to ask than the woman with all the time and money in the world, a little brother who’d take her anywhere she wished. You both had settled on Malaysia, still panning out the details of when, but he had planned to surprise you with open ended tickets for the both of you — paid extra for them, in case something came up. 
He almost chuckles. Something always came up. 
Maybe if you both had liked it enough, he’d have a private home built for the two of you — with the little library nook you always dreamed of having, finally getting around to reading the countless books you both had bought and never read, go through page by page and take back the time you both have lost. 
But right now each step felt like an eternity as he walked. 
Where was he going again? Oh yes, to help Fushiguro. And what about Naobito and Maki? What had happened to them? There wasn’t much he could do about that. 
Tired. He was so tired. I’ve done enough, haven’t I? 
Hadn’t he done enough? He thought he had done enough when he left — left it all behind like a nightmare he didn’t care to revisit. Left the loss, the pain, the anger — the curses really — all behind him, in exchange for another set — greed, money, power. What was really the best option? Had he made the right choice? 
But then he thought about you. 
Your smiles, your touch, your kisses, your laughs — all the times he spent with you — slow mornings spent reading the paper together over coffee and toast from the bakery you always went out of your way to buy his favorites from; lazy evenings spent watching movies or reading, your legs intertwined as you did, his arm around your shoulders, until you plucked the book from his fingers made it so you were only thing his eyes were on; and sleepless but perfect nights spent in each other’s arms. The many times he wanted to ask you — the one question he never got to ask you still burned on the tip of his tongue like a curse unspoken, and he knew if he spoke it now, it would be one. 
And so he did what he did best, he dispatched the curses, quick and easy. And his lips curled despite himself — at the thought of you. He could almost feel your lips on his still from earlier, the sweet scent of you instead of the smell of blood or burning flesh, he could almost see you too. 
A hand rested on his chest, stopping him in his tracks. 
Mahito stared back at him. 
Oh. Oh. 
It was over. 
I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry I can’t keep my promise. I’m sorry I can’t propose. I’m sorry I can’t marry you. I’m sorry I can’t have the life we wanted. I’m sorry I came back only to leave you with the worst curse of them all. 
“I didn’t know you were here,” Nanami says, staring back at the curse — and it reminds of that time — that time Mahito had him in his domain, he truly had resigned himself to death. Resigned himself to die — and then Itadori had come crashing in, crashing in as he did his life, saving him. Saving him by not only by his very existence as Sukuna’s vessel, but by just his sheer strength. 
That kid had really grown on him — he didn’t want him to. Not when he had the same positivity, the same smile, the same kindness…as Haibara. It was illogical. He wasn’t Haibara — he was Sukuna’s vessel, and he wouldn’t acknowledge him, he wouldn’t until he proved himself. But he’d protect him, and he would do what he could. Because being a child isn’t a sin — but perhaps, being a jujutsu sorcerer is one. 
“Yup. The whole time,” Mahito replies, lips upturned in a slight smile, “Wanna chat? We go way back, after all,” 
Nanami’s eyes shift to the floor, the muddied and bloodied tiles underneath his feet — he didn’t care to divulge his deepest feelings to a curse. There were only two people he could talk to about this — and one of them, he supposed, was now closer to his being than the other. 
Haibara, what the hell was I trying to do? He asks in his mind, not even daring to say the words aloud, I ran. Even though I ran away, I came back with the vague reason of finding the work worthwhile. 
And then he sees him. Haibara appears in front of him, patented smile on his lips, as he points south — points right at— 
“Itadori,” Mahito says, his eyes narrowing. 
“Nanamin!” his eyes wide as he takes in his state — oh, he had hoped no one would see him like this, much less Yuji. He had already been through so much, so young — hell, he had already died once. He didn’t deserve to see this. He didn’t deserve to grow up like this — to have his youth ripped away. But, did any of them deserve it? 
It was a marathon, a marathon that they found themselves in that headed only towards a pile of corpses — but each time, they had to pass the baton before they stopped. 
Could he finally stop? 
He had dropped his baton so long ago, dropped and left the track, but he knew it would be picked up by another and another and another — but it was his baton, his baton that Haibara had handed him before he died in his arms. 
No, Haibara. That’s not right. I can’t say that to him. It’ll just end up becoming a curse for him. 
But it’s a curse every jujutsu sorcerer had to bear — made to bear until there were either no curses or no sorcerers left. 
But he couldn’t regret it now. 
“Itadori,” his lips curl, smiling for the last time, “you’ve got it from here.” 
He couldn’t keep his promise to you — but he kept his one to Haibara. 
And you’d pay the price. 
~~~
This wasn’t real. Was it? 
You stood outside your shared apartment with Kento. Finally a stop to the fighting for a month for everyone to train — enough time for you to retrieve some cursed weapons you had left behind — not knowing the fight would drag on for this long. You had considering sending someone — maybe not Ijichi but someone else to retrieve them, but right now, you couldn’t bear the thought of someone else rifling through Kento’s things. Moving the things that he had placed just so — the last remnants of his life, the marks he left that proved he was there, that he lived — that he had lived. 
Lived. Past tense. And now you were still living — living in a world without him. 
You inserted your key and turned the lock, opening the door. And it did, just like it had every day. Each day you’d open it — sometimes before Kento, other days after — but each time, there was always a meal Kento had prepped or bought waiting for you. 
And this was the first time that there wasn’t. 
Not only a meal — there was no one waiting for you. Not here. 
You closed the door behind you — no longer a home, just an apartment. You needed to remember the things you needed, your mind was nowhere to be found, and fled the country when you had heard the news. You didn’t cry. Not at first. 
Yuji was the one to tell you. He shouldn’t have been the one to see it. You knew it haunted his dreams, you knew he blamed himself, you knew — because Kento had done the same. So you hugged him, let him cry silently into your shirt, comforted him the best you could — because you knew that’s what Kento would have wanted. 
He loved Yuji — he loved Ino too, and the other students all held a special place for him, but Yuji — Yuji was a special case. You knew that from the moment he had spoken about him. 
“Gojo wants me to mentor Sukuna’s vessel,” he told you one night in bed, having returned from a mission and having a drink with Gojo — not a real drink, Kento had clarified, since it had no alcohol in it — but a drink nonetheless. 
“He has a name, Kento. Itadori. He’s sweet,” you smile, you had met him and all the other first years from teaching, “he’s a good kid — very new to all of this, but he has a good heart and some good skills under his belt.” 
“A vessel for the ticking time bomb has a good heart? Glad to hear it,” he sighs, running his hands through his hair, “I don’t know — he was a normal kid two minutes ago, and now he’s running around with Gojo feeding him Sukuna’s fingers every second,” he leans back against the headrest, “what am I supposed to make of this? I’m not even a teacher,” 
“And what have you been doing with Ino?” you raise an eyebrow, “that kid is constantly after you, dogging your every step — he looks up to you. “And I know a lot of the other students do too, the ones that know you,” 
“It’s—” 
“You should do this. It would be good for you,” and he’s hesitating, “Yuji needs a sorcerer to guide him — teach him the basics that Gojo has neglected to do, and show him how a proper jujutsu sorcerer who isn’t…a special case like Gojo, operates.” 
Kento’s lips curl, “You know you can call him a moron,” 
“Why call him that when I have you to call him that for me?” you snort, “now what do you say?” 
And he eventually agreed — and it was the best decision for him. It gave him more purpose, more drive — he seemed even more fulfilled — the most you had seen him professionally fulfilled in quite some time. 
“You got it from here.” 
His last words to Yuji. You almost have to scoff at the poeticness of it all — the same words Haibara had told him. The ones he hadn’t told you for nearly a decade, until one night he had told you what he said. 
“And why didn’t you leave any words for me, Kento?” you ask the empty apartment before you, “for so long, we didn’t have each other — we couldn’t. And we finally find our way back, we finally do all the things we said we would — you’re gone, again,” your voice breaks, “I wish, I wish you were here. I wish I could see you. I wish—” and you break off. 
There’s no point for wishing for things that can’t happen. You had things to do, and little time to waste. You needed to get stronger too. You needed to be useful. You needed to fight. You couldn’t tarnish Kento’s memory, or — you look at a picture that you had taken of him and Yuji a few days before outside a convenience store you had stopped by after a mission — his legacy. 
You searched for the things you needed, placing them in cloth bags and then paper bags for easy and inconspicuous transport, but you needed to label them. You searched your apartment for a pen — but apparently you had misplaced every single one that you had — where the hell were all the pens? A question you’d usually ask Kento and he’d produce one from thin air. No matter what you lost or what you needed — he had it. 
He always had it. 
If he did always have what you needed, then maybe…you walk into the bedroom, over to his nightstand — he often kept a notebook for thoughts and notes in his bedside table so maybe—-
And there it was — a pen, but it wasn’t the pen that made you pause — it was the two things beside it. 
A notecard and a ring box. 
A ring box. 
Your hands shake, and you almost want to close the drawer. Forget you say anything. Continue with the work you’re doing. It would hurt less. 
But you can’t. You can’t. 
You reach for the notecard first, fingers shaking as you gingerly pick it up — and you can tell this wasn’t the first he had written on. You could see the indentations from his pen, this card underneath the others as he had wrote. But his handwriting was neat, yet messy at the same time — his patented half print, half cursive scrawl that he hadn’t left. 
Your legs buckle and you sit down on the edge of the bed — the side he used to sleep on, his arm wrapped around your waist, face buried in your back, his lips brushing against your skin when he finally stirred. And now it was empty. 
My love, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to ask you this. I’ve thought of ways to ask for years — I had to write it down just so I didn’t mince my words or ramble — you know I’m not one to drag out conversations. I love you. I’ve always loved you from the moment I met you — I know you’d tease me for pining for you, but I did pine for you and I’ve pined for you every second we’re apart. The other times I’ve wanted to ask you, the timing never worked out. But we have the time now, don’t we? Will you do me the honor of being your husband? I’ll spend every second making you happy, because that’s what you deserve, sweetheart. Only the best. 
And your tears splatter against the corner of the card, before you put it down, as you let your sobs overcome you, screams you didn’t know you were capable of making— you didn’t even realize it was you, until your throat began to ache. 
Why? Why? Why? 
It wasn’t real, this wasn’t happening. 
And your fingers reach for the ring box now, opening it only to feel more tears well — it was the ring you had showed him. One you had showed him one late night when it had showed up somewhere or another — you hadn’t even thought about the ring again. Until now. 
You can’t bear to touch it. You can’t. Not when he wasn’t there to pull it from its box and slip it onto your finger. And he never would be. Not until you saw him again — one way or another. 
You snap the box closed, tears slipping down your cheeks as you placed the box and card back into the drawer — noticing something else underneath — a printout? And you pull the papers out, scanning it. 
You almost sob. A trip to Kuantan, Malaysia. The trip you two had talked about for months, but never had gone on. The trip was more for Kento than it was for you — and it was for you, in a way, because what you wanted the most was to just be with him. Time was all you wished for with him — all you wanted — but you knew you could have spent every moment with him for the last ten years and it wouldn’t have been enough. 
It would never have been enough. 
“I miss you,” you speak to the ghosts that fill your mind and haunt your dreams — Kento and Yu, “I hope you’re at peace. I hope you’re lying on a beach somewhere, reading the books you wanted to read, drinking an expensive drink, and eating the bread you love — I promise, I’ll find my way to you, someday,” 
And you place the things back in the drawer, and shut it. 
For now, you had other things to do. Other people to protect, other curses to exorcise. But — you stare at the picture of the two of you on your nightstand — his love was the one curse you could never give up. 
~~
Many months later. 
You take that vacation he wanted. Packing the books he always wanted to read. Pocketing the ring he wanted to propose to you with. You’d pack a few shirts of his to wear on the beach, and maybe he would be lying beside you in spirit. You would find that beach he wanted to take you to — the one he had written down and had looked up several times while booking your trip. 
You kept the seat beside you on the plane empty but you ordered a glass of wine and a sandwich for him regardless. You know you would have ended up ordering because he likely would have fallen asleep — old man he always was. And if you didn’t know better, you’d think he was sitting in the seat beside you. 
He wasn’t dead. Not really, you think as you sit in the beach in one of his deep blue button ups thrown over your swimsuit, reading one of his books page by page, taking back the time that was stolen from him with your own — minutes and hours and days you’d wish you could take off your own and give to him. 
He was alive, he was alive as long as you were, as long as the people who he was important to were alive. And he was alive — alive in your head and your heart and your very soul. 
You read his proposal aloud as the sun sets, tears slipping down your face as you slip his ring onto your finger. And there it would stay. 
Stayed all the seconds, minutes, hours, days, and years you lived -- lived in the house you built in Malaysia when all was said and done for you in the jujutsu world, just as Kento had wanted. Stayed until you finally saw him again. Saw him standing beside Haibara, softly smiling behind him, as your eyes fluttered open as he greeted you. Lips curled in that same smile that damned you from the moment you saw it. 
“Don’t keep me waiting, love,” he smiles, the same words you had said to him, “we’ve both waited long enough, haven’t we?” 
But neither of you had to wait anymore — as you run into his arms, warm and made of flesh and blood and real, so real — you had forever now. 
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✴︎ a/n: first, i'm so sorry lol. i don't know how the spirit of gege possessed me but i decided to inflict some pain. i have to thank @laneysmusings for proofing this for me and having to endure this pain. I also want to credit @/tempenensis for their post on haibara / jjk 120 that helped inspire/inform the third to last scene (but they don't like self-insert so i am not gonna tag them, but you should check out their tumblr!
✴︎ taglist: @your-local-simplol, @renawithane, @grooveandshit, @aemondseyesocket, @nitskilanara, @yunchans, @ackermanbby, @luminouslateralup, @multi-fandom3, @idktbhloley, @minteaful, @malleusmybelovedd, @lighttism, @lemonpoppy-seed, @nitskilanara, @wshwshi, @rreborn, @reyy-chanx, @kiradoki, @uroldall, @madam-milf, @elusivemoon
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