#tempted to blame this on my like. general crushing lack of intelligence caused by both physical and mental reasons | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nonsensechemicals · 7 months ago

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crying whenever i talk about Cookie9 because all my friends have these interesting and unique theories on them while i take everything too literally and they all just stare at me like “dude… uuugh we r TIRED” <-they dont actually say this they are very kind to me but i can Feel It

#my version of them is centered around their blog version with the ‘personality’ of their steam review and like a bunch of HC #i developed them with the implication that they’re Real but i’m a bit iffy on it #because all my friends have theories about how they’re from the narrator’s consciousness which is sick as hell #and i’m unsure how to actually structure everything or if i should go the same route so i can get approval from them </3 #my friends r the real reviewer fans even though they dont plague themselves over them every day and im so sad that i don’t know anythinggg #gggggggggggg #like im p sure they genuinely hate the stuff i make about cookie9 and im just. scrumbles myself. sorry im Trying :( i’m not smart #or good at writing or even media literate #whatever that term means #all i have is love in my heart for them i don’t know anything at all #ouhghghhg they hate It so much but i cant do anything else and it’s all i have #like all my cookie9 stuff works on the ‘what if their blog self Was Real’ but i’m not actually sure how to fit it all into my actual parabl #stuff because i still havent worked out how my parable itself works #and people probably don’t think i know enough and i don’t think they’ll approve if i try. so i Don’t #tempted to blame this on my like. general crushing lack of intelligence caused by both physical and mental reasons #but i want to believe i could do better if i try? but that’s incredibly hopeful #i’ll be stuck here forever i think #<-guy who. whenever Anything wrong happens ever. just goes back to ‘oh yeah its because im dumb as fuckign rocks. due to the Incidents’#i am very scared of the possibility that it is possible for me to be anything more because that implies that i’m stupid because i didnt try #even though i’m trying very very fucking hard and every time i get something wrong way more than anyone else i’ve ever known #and they hate me for it . MAN!!!!!!!!!#<-brain is lying 2 me i think nobody hates me or . whatever. it still feels like it though im just saying this because i dont want anyone t #think people genuinely hate me for being stupid. i mean. people DO. but not my friends ☝️#man i can’t even get into the buglivia crap either because she is so abstracted from her actual review #girl w identity issues and also the general normal Changing A Lot Through Time. i scrumble her. around #her Self during 2018 would in fact be in character for the review.i want to draw her during that time. she took everything so seriously </3 #tbh my version of her does react well to TSP humor but at the time she felt like she wasn’t allowed 2 Do Her Thing and tried to seem #more professional and Normal and it seeped into EVERYTHING for a bit #cookie9 though just genuinely found the narrator annoying and patronizing. its just not his thing and thats fine #<-random nonsensechemical reviewer bits hidden inside the vents. SEND POST.

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