#the Slutcracker

[nerdygingergremlin]

So I got a text from my brother with no warning. No preamble. Just this:

And I'm dying because it's my older brother so there could be so many things it could be.

But it was, in fact, referring to the burlesque version of the Nutcracker, which is legitimately called "The Slutcracker". And his friends all pitched in to rent a limo to go see it.

[milfygerard]

hiiii tumblr happy new years eve!!!!

[ellcrys]

just watched the rocky horror picture show and idk what i was expecting but it was not slutcracker vibes 😭

[nonasuch]

Howdy! You ended up on my dash with the beetle wing gown and requested stuff to do in Boston! Related to that, how do you feel about burlesque versions of holiday classics? Because it's Slutcracker time once again and tickets are on sale. Also L.A. Burdick's Chocolate in Harvard Square is good.

Thanks! That is an incredible name for a holiday-themed burlesque show.

(also it looks like @lemondread and I are going to be in Boston from Dec 1-4, if anyone wants to meet up!)

[delightfullysubatomic]

An unfinished and not fully accurate timeline of the NMJ Lads 2000-2012 (Tim-centred tbh)

Summer 2000: Alex goes to Edinburgh with 'How To Avoid Huge Ships'

Academic year 2000-2001: Mark in year ? of uni, Alex in his final year of uni year of uni, Tim has just graduated. Tim decides to do a play because he didn't do one in his final year at uni.

Alex was also doing stand up in another strand of Footlights (I think, idk how it works)

2000 (Cambridge, term 1)- Alex writes a panto of Treasure Island, Tim auditions and gets a role. Performances are late Nov-early Dec. Tim also auditioned for Bouncers by John Godber. He got both roles and fortuitously decided to do the panto.

(I don't think Alex and Tim became close yet)

2001 (Cambridge, term 2) - Tim does the Spring Review (sketch show) and starts to write a bit (was Mark in this??)

2001 (Cambridge, term 3) - Tim and Mark audition to be in the Footlights Summer Tour, which is what Emma Thompson, High Laurie et al did. They perform at Edinburgh and are nominated for Best Newcomer. It's directed by [friend who still directs plays w Tom Basden]

I don't know if the Spring and Summer sketch show / team are/were the same as each other but Tim conflates the whole year into one when telling any stories about it. Not sure either if they figured out about Tim not being a student during the Spring or the Summer.

2002: Tim and Dinky Donk contribute to an EP of Concrete Cow sketch show on Radio 4

Tim and Mark move to London. IIRC Tim moved back to Cambridge after a bit (maybe after losing his job at Hamley’s?), not sure when he moved back to London - suspect 2003/2004 as he’s still doing stuff in Cambridge at that point.

2002: Mark wins the Telegraph Open Mic Award. Tim's stand up career starts and ends in the space of 10 ok to terrible gigs

2003: Making Fish Laugh - Alex’s first solo show (Tim as assistant). Nominated for Best Newcomer

2003: Alex is on Brain Candy on BBC3 (stand up variety show)

2003: Mark and Tim direct the Footlights tour show(?) Starring some future Inbetweeners

2004: Mark's first 24 hour show (Tim as assistant). Mark gets engaged. Mark also does a show with Rhod Gilbert.

2004: Alex's second show Every Body Talks (Tim as assistant)

2004: Tim performs Luke and Stella at Edinburgh

2004: Mark's first novel is published

2004ish: Tim starts writing poems

2005: Alex gets married

2005: Mark does his first solo show and another 24 hour show

2005: Mark is nominated for Best Newcomer

2005: Alex’s third show When in Rome (Tim as assistant)

At some point Tim lives with Alex (and wife?)

2005-2007 (?): Tim performs in Cowards in Edinburgh (they also did it in London and in early days Alex, Mark and Rick Edwards were involved)

2006: Mark wins the inaugural Edinburgh Panel Prize and Time Out Critics Choice Award. He is nommed for the Barry Award (Melbourne)

2006: Mark starts appearing on Mock the Week and other panel shows

2006-2008 (+Xmas 2009): Tim adapts All Bar Luke for Radio 4

2006-2007 Alex and Dinky Donk try to meet someone from every nationality. I don't know if they get a show out of this!

2006: Mark and Tim are in Time Trumpet

2007: Mark writes 2 pilots. One stars Tom Basden and the summary sounds suspiciously like Tim's life at that time

207: Mark starts his Radio 4 show with Tim and Basden

2007: We Need Answers at Edinburgh

2007: Alex's fourth show Birdwatching at Edinburgh

2007: Tim’s first solo show Slut In The Hut in Edinburgh. It is produced by new comedy company The Invisible Dot, which is Tim’s comedy home until 2016ish.

2007: Herb McGwyer (nominated for Best Short Film BAFTA in 2008)

2007: Tim lives with his brother

2007ish: Cowards on the radio

2008: We Need Answers (2) at Edinburgh

2008: Alex's fifth show Wordwatching at Edinburgh

2009: Tim’s second solo the Slutcracker show in Edinburgh. He wins the Edinburgh Comedy Award.

2009: Mark does The Hotel immersive (hey there recent Taskmaster Ep)

2009: We Need Answers on TV

2009: Birdwatchingwatching by Alex and Tim's first poetry book are published

2009: Cowards on BBC4

2010: Taskmaster in Edinburgh (1)

2010: The Horne Section begins

2010ish: Tim joins the Alan Partridge world

2010: Tim is in Party by Tom Basden on Radio 4

2011: Taskmaster in Edinburgh (2)

2012: Tom start Tim Key's Late Night Poetry Programme

2008-2012(ish): Tim lives in a box room in Limehouse. During this time he wins the Edinburgh Comedy Award and is on TV quite a bit. He said during ep 1 of Taskmaster that he had no space for anything but kept the lintel(?) From his Edinburgh show. In the Taskmaster podcast Josh said Tim implied he was homeless but he would have been referencing the fact that he had a box room’s worth of living space (I included this because Josh thought Tim was lying in the show but i’m pretty sure he wasn’t).

[f0xx0rzz]

last night bf and i saw this holiday burlesque re-imagining of nutcracker called Slutcracker and it was so good and there was so much tits and ass and stripping to tchaikovsky music. it was also focused on being body positive and diverse in every way. everyone was so talented and funny and sexy will absolutely go next year

[littlesleepydragon]

So I went to the burlesque parody of Star Wars, called the Empire Strips Back. (TBH, not as good as I was hoping, just generic lady strippers in, to be fair, incredibly well made sexy Star Wars costumes. The Slutcracker is MUCH better.) but the only full nudity they showed was Palpatine, who was wearing a full body wrinkly old man rubber suit with a tiny wrinkly penis and a comically long wrinkly ball sack.

I don’t think the people asking me to draw Palpatine naked or mpreg know that I don’t have the part of my brain that dispenses shame

[deez-nut-free-zone]

✨New pin for my slut snapback!

[toriwestonwriterartist]

Last night was my 11th time attending the @slutcracker and this year was very special. I got to share my holiday tradition with my best friend/future Golden Girls house roommate/one of my Ride or Die crew members. It was even extra special that she made this event a family event. Her husband and their adult daughters all attended the show and loved it. There is still time to see #Slutcracker so hurry up and buy tickets!!! #supportlocalartists #burlesque #somervillema #slutcrackerseason #slutcracker2019 #somervilletheatre @somerville_theatre (at Somerville, Massachusetts) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6YG25NB0NT/?igshid=1bfgcpvh37e90

[postoctobrist]

Alice, have you heard of the burlesque ‘the Slutcracker’ it uses the score of the Nutcracker but has a candy cane phallus shooting glitter and Dominatrix ballerinas cracking whips on pointe…it’s everything I didn’t know I wanted in my life

RIP Tchaikovsky you would have loved this

[neverknownalove]

Because nothing puts me in the Christmas spirit like a burlesque show

[epsilontauri]

it’s what tchaikovski would have wanted

excuse me.

[orangerosebush]

Delighted to report back from my evening outing that there exists a combo burlesque-ballet that uses the general music structure of Tchaikovsky’s “The Nutcracker” — with various different forms of dancing and an emphasis on not sex per se, but more so sexuality (in the many forms that discussion takes with queerness, sexual shame, sensuality, etc etc) — titled “The Slutcracker”

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

....i am now imagining Vex doing that solo for the Sugar plum Fairy in that burlesque version of the nutcracker and instead of an actual ballet solo, its a strip tease, and i am dying

bro yes omg, I love it so much

here are some photos from the irl production of the Slutcracker

[myhardxcor]

I'm here for the whips 😍 #slutcracker #sexymatinee (at Somerville Theatre)

[brennaebony-blog]

Slut cracker tonight, getting into the holiday spirit. #burlesque #bostonburlesque #slutcracker