#the amount of sass(tm)

[graunblida]

lexa, if she were in thunderbolts: here's a fun question: does anyone know where that bitch valentina is? i just want to talk-

[archaeval]

ooc. ok gonna do replies see if i don’t!!

[justanotherfanfolks]

Shouting Into the Void #2: Those Diasomnia Boys Are An Enigma (TWST)

Drunk Minstrel one of the Top 10 characters in that movie and should have gotten a TWST counterpart.

Every TWST character represents someone/something in the Disney franchise. Yes, me stating the obvious obviously. But it tends to be easy to spot. The Overblot Boys are each of the villains, the rest of Heartslabyul are the card soldiers, Ruggie is a hyena, the tweels are the eels, Kalim is the Sultan, and Rook is the huntsman (Epel being the apple had me freaking out, and it was in the name). I'm only not really sure about Jack and Ortho. Jack is an outlier and I might understand Ortho better if I read Book 6. 

Now for the enigmas:

Those three. I like to consider myself a general expert on the Sleeping Beauty movie (I watched that thing an unhealthy amount of times and still do). We have a lot of theories about those three. The obvious potential contenders for those three to be stand ins for are the Three Good Fairies (they were the main characters of the movie, fight me on this), Aurora, Philip, and Diablo. However, Epel being the apple (inhales) opens doors for representing objects, like the spinning wheel, the shield of virtue, and the sword of truth. I had also considered Maleficent's henchman because I'm mean (sorry Sebek). The dorm trailer made people think they were each of the good fairies, but I don't think so. Sebek and Silver don't match up to Fauna and Merryweather to me. I had my own thoughts on who these three do match up with though.

Lilia. He has to be the 3 good fairies. A kind of combo deal. He's got the leadership qualities and respect of Flora, Fauna's kind and well meaning nature (despite it often resulting in a comedic final product, looking at those skills in the kitchen) and willingness to see the good in people, and Merryweather's sass and bit more playful nature. Those three are really powerful, almost on par with Maleficent only because their good magic holds them back a bit against hers. Malleus is definitely stronger than Lilia, he's just kind of young. Lilia is also a friend of the royal family and thought highly of in the kingdom, just like the good fairies. Also he raised a baby in a house in the woods into their teen years, so yeah… Dad for the win!

Sebek. I read one thing that said "Maleficent's lightning powers" and it does work with his name and symbol, but that feels like a disservice to Sebek even though those powers are really cool. It's also a disservice to the movie. He's gotta be something better. I did once think henchman. Not in terms of being dumb, Sebek is actually really smart. More so in terms of being a loyal servant of the Maleficent stand in. However, in terms of loyalty, I can see him being Diablo. Call it me reading too much into the hair, but it could pan out. Being loyal to your master to the very end, only looking out for said master regardless of other people, being very VERY loud. I think it works out. He also takes his job the most seriously. I think he'd see Silver as one of the henchmen. 

Speaking of Silver, let's jump to who I think is the most theorized Diasomnia character in terms of standing in. The most popular are Aurora and Philip. Philip is for Silver's knightley skills mainly and bonus he's in the equestrian club. However, I've always leaned more towards Aurora. BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH. Baby raised in the woods by fae, kind and friendly with the animals everywhere, the referenced attractiveness, the called out niceness. He's part of the Facepalm Brigade, aka the Really Nice Ones. Can't represent a villain thing with a record like that. And the most obvious aspect: the Sleeping TM. Okay, my number 1 pet peeve with Sleeping Beauty adaptations based on this particular movie is how the writers also go "oh lol, let's make the Sleeping Beauty person always sleeping and doing so at random times for no reason." I hate that. She was cursed. She slept the one time, now she's labeled for life. But Silver works. But why? Because he constantly mentions how much he hates it and can't control it. THAT is setting something up. But we don't know why he sleeps, but my guess? Curse. My sister has a theory that Malleus once tried to put a baby Silver to sleep with magic and ended up cursing him with Lilia toning down the effects. I call her valid, I like it. Regardless of why he sleeps, you can't tell me this boy isn't cursed. It could have been anyone. Accident? On purpose (looking at you, grandma)? We don't know. This is just some baby Lilia found and said "this is mine now." He could be another combo deal, but Aurora is definitely the main one in that. He just reminds me of her so much. We really need his backstory explored in Book 7. I'm ready for those lore drops!

I did mention objects. While I'm leaning towards the character connections, I can't overlook those objects and how important they are. Epel can't be the weird one (he was the apple, how could it have taken me so long to see it-). At the very least, they can be a secondary stand in. Some characters tend to slightly connect to someone else along with their main counterpart. If Diasomnia does this, Sebek and Silver are the sword and shield. Oh, writing that out, the alliterations…

Anyway, Silver's symbol is a sword. Movie has sword. There ya go. Technically, both of them are good with a sword and actually bond over them. Silver just gets first dibs with his symbol. Shield could be Sebek. His primary goal in life is serve and protect Malleus. Also, I can totally see him jumping in front of a shot for his master. Also, sword and shield can either put Sebek and Silver side by side or on opposing sides, something to think about.

So, those are my thoughts on this debate. I love this movie and Book 7 must do it justice! I trust these writers, can't wait to see where they take this!

[findmeintheafterglow]

A Guide to Every Single Newsie

There are way too many of those punks. If you’re new to all this come learn whom is who

Let’s start with some pictures, they’re blurry because it’s surprisingly hard to get a decent screenshot. There are lots of them but hopefully just seeing their faces a few times will help you. Recognizing them just comes with time trust me, I used to struggle to find Race and now I see a pic of someone's feet and am like “ah yes Finch my boy”. Also, I’m only covering the newsies live cast because that’s what you can legally watch and what most people are familiar with. Also, I didn’t want to do every cast member to ever be on Broadway or tour.

Please note some of the things I’m about to say may not be canon but are part of what I know is widely considered true within the fandom. As far as sexuality I may mention it with some characters/who they’re commonly shipped with just so y’all aren’t lost when you see fics and things.

Jack: You know Jack so I’m not going that deep into his character. He’s 17, full name Francis Sullivan, newsie nickname is Cowboy. He’s the leader of the newsies of Lower Manhattan. A charismatic asshole who really just wants meaningful relationships and happiness for those he loves. Undeniably bisexual. Played by Jeremy Jordan.

Davey: Full name is David Jacobs, newsie nickname is Walking Mouth though he’s only addressed by his nickname in the 1992 movie. The most educated, attended school until he was around 17 ish. He’s a doofy little nerd and also mom friend ultimate, I repeat bc this is a defining trait Mom Friend Ultimate. I’m not sure if this is canon but pretty much everyone recognizes that he and his family are Jewish. Played by Ben Fankhauser.

Les: Sassy angel child. Full name Lesley Jacobs. Albert calls him shortstop a few times but it’s not quite a newsie name tm. 10 years old(almost). Also pretty Jewish. He’s kind of an impressionable little firecracker, he looks up to all the newsies but especially Jack. He just has a lot of energy and wants to hang with the big kids. Sass master in training. Buckets of charm packed into about 4 feet of human. Played by Ethan Steiner.

Crutchie: Crutchie! You know him! You’ve already fallen madly in love with him! Lost use of one of his legs to polio. Last name is Morris for sure and a lot of people say his real name is Charlie. Jack’s closest friend. He’s often painted as a pure sunshine boy, he is a pure sunshine boy. However, he is also tough, streetsmart and ready to fight. Very kindhearted and eternally optimistic. Played by Andrew Keenan-Bolger(you may see it abbreviated as AKB).

Race: This boy has lots of names so strap in. Racetrack Higgins is his name, people mostly call him Race not Racetrack. He is also sometimes called Racer. I don’t think this is canon but as a fandom, I think we’ve determined that he’s aggressively Italian and his real first name is Antonio, you may also see Anthony or Tony. Best friends with Albert. Crutchie is Jack’s best friend but Race is sort of Jack’s second in command. Sprace, him and Spot Conlon, are pretty much the biggest ship in Newsies. He’s a gambler and has an affinity for betting on horse races. He sells by the Sheepshead Racetrack hence his nickname. Very easy to recognize because he always has a cigar. The definition of a disaster gay. He has good intentions most of the time but is also a chaotic piece of shit. Played by Ben Tyler Cook(BTC).

Albert: Albert DaSilva is his name, having fantastic hair is his game. Race’s best friend. Personality is similar to Race but a little less chaotic, like he still does dumb things all the time but isn’t nearly as loud. Prankmaster and Sassmaster ultimate. Lives on the lower east side with his dad and two older brothers but generally that fact is ignored and he’s lumped in as living in the lodgings.  His cap is on backwards most of the time which can help you recognize him. Played by Sky Flaherty.

Spot: Spot Conlon, the man, the myth, the legend. Leader of Brooklyn. Comically short but will also soak you without hesitation. Side note bc I didn’t know this for a long time: the newsies call beating someone up “soakin’ ‘em” because you beat them up so bad they’re soaked in blood. Back to Spot, he’s tough as nails but also cares about his boys in Brooklyn a lot. Played by Tommy Bracco.

Elmer: A smart yet small boy. Very good at math and science and somewhat interested in politics. He has 8 older siblings. Polish apparently? I learned this very recently?? A very friendly and sunshiney guy. The newsies make fun of him saying that he’s bad at selling papes. He’s a hardworker. This is definitely not canon but you may see his last name as being Kasprzak. This comes from Evan Kasprzak, the actor who played Elmer in the Papermill and Original Broadway Casts. People like writing about Elmer so they just kinda gave him that last name and it works. Played by Anthony Zas.

Jojo: Jorgelino Josephino De La Guerra where to begin. A good Catholic boy. He was raised by nuns in a cathedral in Harlem. A nice boy, a kind boy. Down for some shenanigans but is generally reasonable and doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. Very ambitious and wants to be a big baller(in KONY he wishes for a solid gold watch I mean). Played by Joshua Burrage.

Buttons: Benjamin Buttons Davenport, what a guy. So I don’t know that he’s actually younger but he definitely reads as a little more youthful. He’s optimistic and easily excitable and overall kinda has this genuine hope and happiness that some of the other guys have lost to the street. He lives with his family and has at least a few siblings but I feel like he has hella. Not gonna be last in line for the tub tonight. Played by Chaz Wolcott.

Romeo: Will flirt with anything that moves. He has very distinctive bright red and blue striped socks if that helps you identify him. Is one of the younger newsies but makes up for it with overconfidence. Very lighthearted, we never see him get too serious. A charmer through and through. Still a very kind and caring guy. Played by Nico DeJesus.

Specs: Specs is a good one. He wears glasses obviously so you can identify him pretty easy. Definitely on the older end of the newsies. There’s no basis for this in canon but I feel like he’s been around longer than Jack. Kind of helps lead and run things with Race and Jack because he’s the most responsible motherfucker in that lodging house. Think kinda like Davy where he’s a bit of a mom but more easygoing, less cautious and more one of the boys. Generally a happy guy and so so sweet. Very forward thinking and genuinely likes selling papes. Played by Jordan Samuels.

Finch: Finch! A personal favorite please show him love. Full name is Patrick Cortes. He has a family(or at least a mom) but ran away when he was little. He carries a slingshot with him a good amount of the time so use that to find him. He’s sarcastic, funny, and always rarin’ to go. Tough but not in an “I’ll fight you” way. He will fight you if needed but it’s more like “Life’s a bitch but look how far I’ve made it”. Kinda like a cool older brother vibe but throw in a good handful of antsy. Played by my main man Iain Young.

Sniper: Mkay it’s time for the tough boi trio, these next three are fighters. Last name is Wah. His dad is named Sam Wah and owns a laundromat above Jacobi’s Deli. You may see him as a girl in fics or hcs because for almost all of the tour he was played by a woman. Boy has aim like no other. He is confirmed to be the quickest and strongest of the newsies. Also sly and cunning. Boy’s like a snake or a fox or whatever simile you prefer but regardless be scared. Has a reputation so people don’t mess with him. Would never hurt another Manhattan boy, he’s scary but he defends his brothers. Played by Daniel Switzer.

Tommy Boy: Don’t know a ton about Tommy Boy but here we go. He’s a man of few words, when he talks his answers are brief and to the point. Not in a mean way though that’s just how he is. Appears to be confrontational as he’s consistently seen stepping to a fight(before the world will know when Jack says “keep your shirt on” and when he scabs he gets in people’s faces). A good dependable guy but kinda mysterious, I would not provoke. Played by Michael Dameski.

Mush: Last name is Myers. First name is possibly Nick? In the real strike, there was a boy named Nick Myers so. He lives in Harlem?? But who cares about canon, ignore that. Mush is a ‘hattan boy. Has a lisp. He considers himself to be the muscle of Manhattan and will throw down for his brothers. When the strikebreakers show up, Jack literally has to hold him back because Mush is just trying to get to those hoes so he can protect the rest of the boys just yellin’ “Nah man I’ll get ‘em”. Very caring and very selfless. Boy’s got muscle but is totally a teddy bear with a heart of gold. I’ve always thought of him as your classic rough and tumble but clean-cut caring all-American boy. Played by Nick Masson.

Henry: Last name is possibly butler after the real life newsboy, Henry Butler but the only confirmed name we have is Henry. Became a newsie at 11 when his dad died and his family lost their deli. Has a mom who he still sees sometimes but doesn’t live with. Boy really likes food. It reminds him of the deli with his dad and also he just really. likes. food. Fairly easygoing, practical, and will call guys out on their bullshit(e.g. whom the fuck cares about being famous). Played by Michael Rios.

Smalls: Smalls! I don’t got much at all but here’s what I know. Very commonly thought about as a girl as Smalls was played by girlsies for all(?) of the Broadway run. Pretty firey or at least high energy. Sometimes headcannoned as being leader of the Bronx because in the normal not filmed staging he’s the one to yell “so’s the Bronx”. Played by Julian DeGuzman.

Mike: Twin brother of Ike. These guys are hard to tell apart because they’re played by actual twins but here are some distinctions. Mike wears a brown cap, a plaid shirt, and green socks. Played by Jacob Guzman.

Ike: Twin brother of Mike. Has a dark grey cap, a striped shirt, pin-striped pants, and brown socks. Both twins seem to be pretty fun-loving. They kinda rough house a lot and are often messing around. Played by David Guzman

Hotshot: A Brooklyn newsie, I don’t really know his deal? A typical production doesn’t have Hotshot in it but he was in the filmed version and was apparently there towards the end of the broadway run. Kind of arrogant and tough. Sometimes seen as Spot’s second. Has literally only ever been played by J.P. Ferreri.

Vince/Myron: Ok so for newsies live they just threw in some extra newsboys for the heck of it and this guy is one of those. I don’t even know his name because the actor who plays him also plays a strikebreaker. On the wiki cast list, it just lists him as playing Vince and Myron with no indication as to who’s the newsie and who’s the strike breaker. Just from the nature of the names I can guess that Vince is the newsie? A big tough Brooklyn boy. Played by Stephen Hernandez.

Willie/Bart: Same deal as Vince/Myron. I’d be willing to guess that Willie is the newsie. Another Brooklyn boy. Played by Andrew Wilson.

Kenny: Also thrown in just for newsies live but I actually know his name. A pretty sunny guy, as far as I can remember he’s always smiling. Not in any of the pictures because he’s not in any of those scenes. It’s the same guy who plays darcy so go to carrying the banner or once and for all and find the guy in the yellow suit. That’s Darcy, Kenny looks just like that but in newsie clothes. Played by Jack Sippel.

Am I about to throw Bill and Darcey in just for kicks? yeah I think I am. Ok so this is a last minute decision and I don’t have pictures for these guys but here we go.

Bill: Not a newsie. Son of William Randolph Hearst, owner of the New York Journal. Full name William Randolph Hearst Jr. Katherine and Darcey’s friend. A sophisticated, classy, educated boy. Not tough in a street way but is kind of cold/reserved or maybe just a bit calculating. You can definitely tell he’s a rich boy by the way he holds himself. Looks like Mush bc they’re played by the same actor. Blue suit. Played by Nick Masson.

Darcey: Not a newsie. Son of Whitelaw Reid, owner of the New York Tribune. Still high class but more excitable and interested in the newsies world. Very kind and always concerned of behalf of others. His sweetness does not equal weakness, when Romeo approaches Kath in Carrying the Banner, he’s ready to handle the situation. Yellow suit. Played by Jack Sippel.

so there we go that is every newsie I could think of and then some. I’m gonna attach the pictures I have of an old wikipedia cast list which is what I use for reference since the one that's on wiki now isn’t great

That’s it! If you actually read all this, God bless you. If I got anything blatantly wrong or if you have any questions please talk to me

[septic-dr-schneep]

Who are the two biggest Sass Buckets(TM)?

Marvin and Henrik. You would not belieeeve the amount of sass and salt that comes off those two when they’re annoyed (and they’re slowly rubbing off on JJ XD) Don’t make both of them annoyed with you at once. 

[islndgurl777]

Michael Guerin for the character ask

!!!! Yay thank you!!! 

My NOTP for them- Max and Isobel; just because they’re not related doesn’t mean they’re not siblings!

My BROTP for them- ya’ll know I’m all about the science-in-laws. Liz! though i would be remiss if i didn’t also mention Maria. i hope they can be the kind of exes that are still good friends!!

My OTP for them- Alex!! Always Alex!!

My second choice pairing for them- he has been very sweet with Maria! But I could also go for Liz, if Max weren’t in the picture.

My fluffy pairing for them- Alex (please let them get to fluffy one day...)

My angsty pairing for them- Alex! or, in hs and pre-Alex, I like him with Rosa, them getting high or drunk together to dull the pain, leaning on each other because they understand each others’ darkness. super unhealthy, but typical of Troubled Youths TM, you know?

My favorite poly ship for them- Kyle x Michael x Alex is a p good one...

My weirdest pairing for them- how about Jenna? think of the ridiculous amount of dry sass in that relationship...

[nako-doodles]

kpop member profile

I was tagged by my love @nervousatthenightclub 🌸🌸

Stage name (nickname, preferred name): 

the dumbass? tbh all of my fave nicknames are too specific, too egotistical, or too hard to pronounce on non-native tongues to even try 

iris. mostly bc the goddess iris travels and sends messages on rainbows, and is the companion to females who ascend to heaven. my obaachan also used to plant irises that looked like butterflies in her old garden as a purifying boundary against evil spirits. 

Debut Date (when did you first get into kpop): 

sometime in 2008/2009? I dont actually remember the date other than stumbling upon dbsk’s love in the ice, and then listening to mirotic......and by the time dbsk did the two openings of one piece, I was Hooked(tm)

pro tip: if you sell your soul to the devil sm, they might let you move on to smaller companies after about a decade. earlier if you’re good at weaseling yourself out of responsibilities.

Group concept (favourite concept, concept that suits you the most): 

my fave concepts are bangtan’s whole HYYH era, akmu’s how people move, oh my girl’s concept for closer, and mamamoo’s wind flower...and my fave aesthetic was vixx’s fantasy and shangrila, and lee hi’s hold your hand and breathe

however, 12-year-old shirley would have been o v e r t h e m o o n if she got a concept like orange caramel’s catellena or copycat

Debut song/album/mv concept: 

as much as this pains me to say this, 12-year-old shirley would have rocked the cutesy girl next door concepts of the late 00s early 10s. think: snsd into the new world, secret shy boy, wonder girls like this, f(x) chu~ etc etc...I mean I still regularly get mistaken as a 16-year-old, and I didn’t have a decade of memeing and chaos written on my face.

Position (vocal, rap, dance?): 

vocalist, sub dancer? 

as to why I refuse to be the rapper, I once made my friend fall out of her lab chair laughing. while she was holding the stack of e. coli cultures we spent 2 weeks on. because I was rapping to nicki minaj’s super bass (our ap bio teacher had the bright idea of playing pandora during our labs). the casualty wasn't terrible (I mean we didn't have to fumigate the lab bc it was only e. coli)...but that day lives on in infamy....

Role in group (maknae, mum/dad of the group,…): 

to the surprise of no one: the chaotic one  

Older or younger line: 

younger. and if my soon-to-be baby nephew even THINKS about stealing my position as the youngest in the family im going to RIOT!1!!11!

Leader or nah? (Need help deciding? See below)

Make the decision for everyone

Listen to everyone and them decide based on what the majority wants

Let someone else decide

If you picked one of the first two options, congrats, you are probably the leader. 

listen....despite choosing 2, i wouldn't trust my 12-year-old self to tell left from right....much less with decisions that affect the group as a whole.....how the fuck did namjoon do it

Foreign line? (are you an ethnic minority in the country you live in?): 

nah, lots of east asians here in east asia. however, back home, asians are only 6ish%? so I guess ill just be that one grey area person as usual. not local enough to be local, not foreign enough to be foreign. 

Special talents: 

being an annoying little shit. sassing people. being an annoying sassy little shit. 

can braid complicated hairstyles. good at unknotting jewelry, yarn, and embroidery floss. can maybe speak a language on a good day. selectively flexible if the weather allows. remixes music depending on what a singular sound triggers the ear and then hums that remix for the rest of the week. a cute acute gravity checker. occasionally punny. 

tldr; I only function when the cosmos ordains it so

How many members do you want in your group: 

not to be biased but 5-7 members seems like a good number

Tag that amount of people: @cafejoon @jinkookswife @producerjin @jinseas @jingraphic @yunkisunbae @jincentvangogh 💕💖🌸💫✨

[josephqunnies]

(1/2)SO. SHAZ. DO I EVEN NEED TO YELL NICE THINGS AT YOU BC?? YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW HOW GREAT YOU ARE?? YOU LIVE WITH YOU?? BUT I'll do it anyways so BUCKLE UP FUCKER bc let me just say, your blog is the GREATEST thing since SLICED FUCKING BREAD, possibly even GREATER, and your opinions are always legitimately 1000% spot on and said with just the write amount of sass to be tea but not enough to be Negativity(tm) which is a fine line sometimes but you've always done it perfectly and therefore I

(2/2) LIVE for and worship your goddamn sliced bread blog, AND you already know that I legit fangirled when we became mutuals and like, I gotta be honest, if a few people have unfollowed me or smth and I’m looking at my follower list you’re like one of the names I immediately check bc it’s like A CROWNING FUCKING JEWEL of my follower list to have you on there and btw you’re a TALENTED AF WRITER HOW FUCKING DARE YOU AND, you’re the best and super great k thanks for coming to my tedtalk

—

Stappppp this is the sweetest thing! Imma print this out and frame it and read it everyday!! You’re the cutest istg!! I love you 💖💖💖💖💖

[radientwings]

I've been marathoning Say Yes to the Dress with my friend (who's getting married soon) and I swear the only thing I've been thinking of this whole time is writing a Shadowhunters crack!fic based around it where Izzy is the bride and she brings the whole Shadow SquadTM with her for support. 

Like I can just see her introducing this gang of ridiculously good-looking black-leather clad people (minus Magnus tho - he loves his sparkle) in the most casual way possible, before she proceeds to completely take over Kleinfelds while Randy is just standing in the background, gobsmacked. 

And, god, the sheer amount of sass.