#the amount of things i had to go through to find this dang post

[boyrobott]

i fully get it bc i know what u mean about original astro boy manga being silly with it vs pluto being relentlessly sad. but i do think it's really important to say that pluto's themes draw on a LOT LOT LOT of stuff present in the original manga! like, the stuff about hate making a robot closer to a human/allowing them to kill a human despite most robots being physically unable to is pulled directly from the blue knight story. the original greatest robot on earth story that pluto is based off is about pluto struggling with not wanting to be a robot made only for killing bc he had a nice time hanging out with uran and doesn't wanna make her sad. epsilon still dies saving his adopted human son, and atom ends the story mourning for all the robots who got killed for goji to prove a point. the moral (which multiple characters say) is that what makes a robot OR a person strong is their love and humanity not their killing power, and it is both stupid and perpetuating the cycle of violence to force robots to hurt each other. the robot hate group man in pluto is inspired by the villain of a segment in astro boy tales part 2&3 where he literally is in a group wearing kkk hoods and does a whole pr attack about robots killing his son because he is campaigning to remove their rights.

and it's not just the stories pluto references! hell, in basically half the stories at minimum a robot is forced by a human to do a crime, the police go 'dang i guess we gotta take the rights of all robots away and destroy them for scrap :(' and atom has to find the human responsible so that doesn't happen (the third magician, electro, and his highness deadcross are some good examples). the plot of the story robot land is atom struggling with wanting to save a bunch of robots being beaten up and worked to the bone by their creator, but he can't because robots are still technically property and helping them escape would be stealing and therefore illegal. in the little intro comics tezuka drew in the collection, he literally says 'yeah this is about the vietnam war being awful' about like fully three different stories. and that's just off the top of my head!!

'what makes a person, where is our empathy, why do we quest for vengeance when it only sucks us into a cycle, have we lost our humanity' are literally the most important core themes of astro boy, which is why it's so so impressive for kids comics that are still broadly super super cute and funny!

legitimately sorry for putting a huge wall of text in ur inbox because i know it's unsolicited and probably uncool. but astro boy is super important to me and so is the idea that a story can be goofy silly child adventures and also explore dark and serious themes? so i had like. a moment when i saw ur post lol. i get it if u dont wanna read all this etc but i wanted to i guess encourage u to give the manga a second pass even if u aren't into pluto at all. there's an insane amount of stuff there that really really legitimately is that deep

Okay, may I just say, I'm absolutely loving your impassioned defense of the manga here. You're bringing so much ride-or-die energy to the table right now, and I'm loving it. But I've been slowly reading through the manga over the past few years, so I... kind of already know all this??? That's pretty much the whole reason I made the joke in the first place -- because there are so many similar storylines and themes between the original manga and the Pluto series, but the individual tones literally could not be more different. The fact that a grim dystopian anime about the horrors of war and the true meaning of humanity is saying the same exact things as a fun, lighthearted, campy manga series?? Sorry, but that's just hilarious to me.

I can definitely see where the misunderstanding came from, but I promise, you do not need to defend the manga to me, LMAO.

[geekyzelda]

Sending u this ask because I desperately want to hear about your post-apocalyptic septimus heap au 👀👀👀

OK. It's been forever but I finally went back through the draft and here is a rough summary.

I was initially calling it the Film Noir AU because I wanted that context to flavor the tone of it. I had 23 pages written out and no outline. Whatever is left has long been lost in my brain.

Here we go:

Picture this: The castle is in ruin. The walls crumbled, people evacuated, and a Darkeness settled over the place like none have seen before.

The Darkeness is controlled by the (slightly more competent than canon) Custodians and is inhabited by all kinds of ugly, creepy creatures.

Our Main Character: Toddhunter Moon, around age 15, arrives at the abandoned ruins of the Castle searching for answers.

Her whole village fell pray to a smattering of Darkeness and she followed rumors and stories south to this place. All she knows is she must find a man named Septimus Heap to help her. Some shop owner along her journey planted the idea in Tod’s head that Septimus is hiding in the Ice Tunnels.

Todd slips into the Darke Castle ruins and is immediately attacked at the hands of a group of Things. They’re making plans to eat her when a young, blonde, green eyed man steps in to save her. He calls himself Sum.

Todd begs Sum to help her find Septimus Heap. After he says no too many times, he agrees to help her find the ice tunnels on the belief that anyone who’s still willing to save the Castle from its downfall will be hiding in the tunnels.

On their way to the ice tunnel entrance, Sum explains the Castle is under a Darke Domain. No one’s positive how it started, but people speculate it was through the actions of a dumb kid. Tod explains she knows absolutely nothing about Magyk.

They reach the Tunnel entrance inside of an old row house (It was Marcellus’s house. In the actual writing I was trying to be clever and imply Marcellus died when the domain took over by saving Sep’s life somehow).

Sum takes Tod into the Ice Tunnel, they stand under the entrance, see it’s uninhabited and mostly caved in and Tod agrees to leave because she’s skeeved out. As she goes to climb the ladder out with Sum behind her, something grabs her ankle and pulls her deeper into the tunnels.

Sum chases after Tod and finds a ghost sucking the life out of her. Sum threatens the ghost but it doesn’t stop feasting on Tod. Half-conscious, Tod watches an incredible amount of purple power flow from Sum. As she passes out, she hears him say something about “angering the seventh son.”

More under the read more

Some time later, Tod wakes up wrapped in blankets. Sum and a new person, Beetle, are arguing about whether or not Sum should have saved her life at all. Beetle is Upset at the amount of power Sum used and is concerned the Custodians will find them.

When Sum sees Tod is awake, he makes her eat a bowl of bland soup and leaves her in Beetle’s care while he leaves for the vault to search for something. (“Why are you going to the vaults?” Beetle asked with suspicion in his voice as Sum stood with a puff of dust. “To search for my long-lost love for you.” Sum winked at his friend.)

Alone, Beetle tells Tod they’re in an office in the old Manuscriptorium. Beetle’s known Sum for years, but befriended his brother first.

Yes, Sum has family, a few brothers. No, he hasn’t known where they are since the Domain began. Me? My mum lives in the port. Far as I know she’s safe. Dang kid, you really know how to endear yourself to a person through a single conversation.

“Can you do Magyk like Sum?”   Beetle snorted and said, “No one can do Magyk like Sum.”   “What do you mean?”   “I mean, no. I can’t do Magyk. It’s an acquired skill.”

Beetle and Tod are bonding when Sum bursts into the room yelling that he’s going out. He won’t answer questions of where he’s going and won’t let either of them come along.

When Sum’s gone, Tod suggests they follow him. Beetle protests saying he is here to protect the manuscriptorium. “If I go down, this place, and most of the Castle’s history, goes down with me!”

Tod leaves the office, meanders through a dusty and decrepit Manuscriptorium and finds the front door. Outside, she realizes she has no idea how to follow Sum when Beetle opens the door behind her. He hands her a tracking charm and says he’s going with her. The tracking charm works for Tod (Obligatory Wow she’s got Magyk! moment) and they’re off!

We switch to Sum’s POV. He is running around the Castle towards the Palace. Dodging custodian guards, he is searching for Dungeon number one on the hope that the answer to the Darke Domain will be in the dungeon.

Fortunately, Sum finds the door to the Dungeon using Magyk. Unfortunately, the Magyk tips the guards off and they catch Sum outside the door and march him off to a meeting with the Supreme Custodian.

I deadass used the phrase “Take him away boys.” I assume I was tired when writing this.

Beetle and Tod happen to be watching from a rooftop above when Sum is captured. They make a plan to follow the guards and see what they can do to free Sum.

Sum is taken away to the Supreme Custodian in the palace. Beetle and Tod manage to sneak in and are listening to the conversation through a crack in the crumbling wall.

The Supreme Custodian threatens Sum for messing around in a place he doesn’t belong. Sum says the custodian is the one who doesn’t belong and the custodian fires back, “Funny for you to say seeing as it’s your fault we’re here, Septimus Heap.”

Tod leans too heavily on the brick wall they’re hiding behind and crashes into the throne room with Beetle tumbling in behind her.

A fight breaks out. Septimus uses Magyk to break his manacled hands and teleports himself, Beetle, and Tod out of there.

This is where the writing I had ends but I had a little bit more planned.

Sep takes them back to the Mauscriptorium where Tod confronts him about lying to her about knowing Septimus Heap.

Sep comes clean and admits to letting the custodians into the Castle and allowing/causing the Darke Domain to settle in.

At some point in this conversation, a sound comes from outside the building. They look out to see a knight of some kind walking unnaturally down the street.

The knight stops in front of the Manuscriptorium and Sep is called out to battle.

An ~intense Magykal battle~ ensues and Sep manages to take out the foe. In the fight, he realizes there’s a person under that armor but they’re moving unnaturally like a puppet.

Sep knocks the helmet off and realizes he’s battling Marcia. Right as he makes a killing blow.

She comes to her senses after the final blow and says something dramatic. “You better save us. I’m proud of you. It’s not your fault.” All that good stuff.

Somehow, the story *resolves* (This is where my draft ended.)

The crew finds Jenna in Dungeon #1 and her release helps fend off the Darkeness.

Merrin was the one who brought in the Darkeness, not Sep, which the audience would learn through some form of dramatic irony.

The Heap family has been hiding out at Draggen island all these years and are alive and well

The Darkeness spread to Tod’s home via the tunnels and when it’s banished from the Castle, Tod’s home is saved too.

Spitfyre was in there somewhere?? Controlled by the custodians maybe? I’m not sure. All I have is one vauge sentence and a 5+ year old memory of wanting to include him.

Funny quotes:

Tod: “Fine. I may be young but I have sailed on my own to another country. Can you say that?”  Sep: “No.” Tod: “That's what I thought.” Sep: “I can say I've flown to another country though.” Tod: “What?” Sep: “What?”

Tod: “I'm 15. Would you stop treating me like I don't know anything, please!” Sep: “Well, I'm older than 15 and I do know everything. So, compared to me, you really don't know anything.”

Tod:  "It’s not every day you have someone save your life.”  Sep: “With the way you act, I’m surprised I’m the first person today.”

Beetle: “By the sound of it she was going to get herself killed before you intervened.”  Sep: “What else was I supposed to do, let her die?”  Beetle: “No-” “Because that’s where she was headed, Beet. Death.”  “I understand that, but-” “I couldn’t just let another kid die, Beetle. I couldn’t.” “I know-” “I can’t believe you would even suggest-” “Are you done with the guilt trip? Yes, I am glad she’s alive, sheez.” 

[ifiwereawriter]

I know this is meant to be a "writing" blog, I know, I just need an anonymous safe place to vent right now or imma be screaming, crying, or throwing up pretty soon.

So this is about love. Relationships. Boy drama. *Rolls eyes* of course it is. That's pretty much the only thing you yell to your diary about.

Anyway, I have NEVER been in a relationship. I am in my mid twenties. I grew up super conservative Christian homeschool etc. I'm pretty much scared of social interaction and especially scared of guys. So about 3/4 a year ago, my fam took guy A on an interstate trip with us. I won't take a long time to tell the story BC you don't need that, but the bare bones of it that are relevant are: him and I got along, we shared a moment when I got real and told him my family dynamics and some really personal stuff about my life while I was fricking painting my nails and sitting on a trailer and no one else was around. Then, the trip was over, things were a bit weird but friendly until he called me beautiful. And this freaked me the Frick out. I liked him as a friend but not the something more that this CLEARLY implied. Then I just real-life ghosted him as well as I could and he probably picked up on it bc I was actually giving him the silent treatment/cold shoulder which I totally regret in hindsight but at the moment I was so angry with him and freaked out. He went overseas too and I was desperately praying that he would find a girlfriend in his hometown lmao.

Cut to tonight and I have been thinking about guy A because guy B is on the scene now (I will tell that story soon). And guys A is at the event I go to, and he is being super sweet with the kids and everything and I think about him. But at one point, I see him walking with a girl who is there who is prettier, cooler and closer in age to him than me and guys, if I didn't feel crazy at that. Like, if I truly don't like him I would be happy if they got together but dang it kind of ate me up and set me off a bit. Like I couldn't. And tonight I'm eating some cup tapokki and I can only think back to the time I had tapokki with guy A. It was the only time I've had it before tonight and we were eating at a Korean restaurant on our family trip with just two of my brothers and if was probably the most datelike thing I have ever been on. So I like him??? Do I even know what I like? And even if I liked a guy wholeheartedly, I would STILL be too much of an inexperienced self-shameing pussy to act!

So guy B is a handful, and not a very pleasant one. I know him through my social circles and I genuinely find it painful to talk to him. He is a great listener, and so am I. He just draws me out so badly because otherwise he leaves the conversation on the most awkward pauses and he just unsettles me for SURE. So that's the scene. I don't like talking to guy B and while he has characteristics I admire, in general I do not like his lack of social awareness. Cut to, my Dad tells me someone has come to him weeks ago and asked if he could 'get to know me better'. I still live at home and did I mention, super Christian conservative parents? He doesn't tell me who the guy is but after a couple of hints I am certain it is guy B. I cannot think of a single other person it would be. And damnit. I don't want my dad to say 'no' of course, I don't believe in that, but I literally do. not. like. this. guy. at. all!

So now I am feeling extremely self-conscious about this guy and he was at the event tonight and I spent the whole entire night trying to avoid him. My dad got a call from an unlisted number while I was talking to him and he left to go pick it up. I look over and Guy B is standing across the room on. his. phone. He was probably asking for my dad's answer since it had been the amount of time my dad said he wanted to wait. Damn it.

Now I am eating comfort food at home after all this. And posting a stupid ramble about it on my side account. FML tbh. Boys, you can't live with em, you can't live without em, amiright? I need therapy.

[warriorofteaching]

Coming to Teaching

Here's a quick (I swear, I promised it was going to be quick until I started typing) sweet introduction: I'm an educator. Over the past 5 or so years I've worked in a few different educational settings including organizing sessions on corporate training, digital media safety, and teaching kids to code. Notice what's missing? I haven't been a teacher.

I graduated from my teaching program a few years ago in a big metropolitan city and lucked out getting a part time job teaching options at a charter school. How'd I get so lucky? I happened to be a graduate from the illustrious school many, many years ago. Maybe we'll talk about that spicy experience another time.

During that year of part-time teaching, COVID hit. Oh baby. As you can imagine, teaching jobs got even harder to find (despite constant news articles proclaiming a shortage of teachers). The charter school chose not to renew my contract because hey, with COVID, a part time options teacher isn't you main priority. Besides, see the aforementioned spicy experience for later. I wasn't interested in sticking around either.

This was at least half a decade ago so why am I bringing it up now in this first post? Like any good writer, I need to set the scene. I'm an English teacher and writer (duh) by the way, not an options teacher. See, this experience, along with many throughout my tumultuous non-existent teaching career, have turned me off from being a classroom teacher for many years.

Yet it's the thing I always come back. I honestly don't know why that is. I've wanted to be a classroom teacher ever since I was a kid. Since I had amazing teachers be role models in my life replacing my absent parents. In my weaker moments, I wonder if I want to be a teacher because it's the only thing I've known. It's the thing I've wanted since I was a kid and it's what I chased (and ran away from) for many years. I also wonder if it's because it's the only thing I've ever really felt good at. I can talk and connect with youth. I'm (somewhat) good at literary analysis so combine all those things and what do you get? An English teacher who can't make up his mind!

Over this five year sabbatical from being a classroom teacher, I've explored different educational opportunities both as a teacher and a student. I have the aforementioned teaching experiences but I also explored what would be necessary to become a video game writer? Or a project manager? A digital music composer or a digital media artist? I'm here so obviously none of those panned out. It does occasionally leave me wondering: if I was younger, if I hadn't been so focused on teaching and stumbling my way through it, would those have been a better fit for a career path? It's naturally compounded by the added complication of: I've thrown a tremendous amount of time, effort, and money into running away becoming a classroom teacher. I'm getting to an age where I can't really afford to explore other career paths anymore.

So here's the plan (TM). Teach in Canada for two years then strike out as an international teacher and explore the world (mainly Japan and maybe Scandinavia. We'll get to that story). Before you get excited about figuring out who I am, I am not a world traveler or explorer of different civilizations. I've spent my entire life in one city (minus the past two days. We'll get there). I've never left the country and I've only travelled across the country twice. And I'm old. So why do I want to suddenly become an international teacher? The short version is I have a lot of baggage in Canada I'd like to leave behind. The long version deserves another post.

Dang, I think that's long enough for a first post. You'd think as a writer I'd learn to be succinct but ya know what, streaming consciousness is a great starting place for any writer. Especially if you're reflecting on your own experiences because if you filter yourself, if you try to organize your thoughts to fit on a page, a lot of that critical, interesting reflection vanishes. Guess this wasn't long enough for a first post.

One final thing (lol). If you're wondering about the title of the blog or the post, it's a reference to a game where the main character is the Warrior of _ _ _ _ _. The game I will play until I fucking die.

[kchasm]

Ryu Number: Xerxes I

Xerxes I, also known as Xerxes the Great, was the ruler of the Achaemenid Empire from 486 BCE until his assassination in 465 BCE. At the time of his ascension to the throne, the Achaemenid Empire ran from the eastern end what's now Pakistan to the west end of what's now Turkey. You might notice that that's about the same amount of empire in about the same location as Alexander the Great had—that's because Alexander the Great was the guy who took over the Achaemenid Empire and made it not-so-Achaemenid anymore.

It was awful big, is what I'm saying.

But let's be honest: You probably know Xerxes I better as the Bad Guy with the nose ring in that one weird Spartan hagiography Gerald Butler was in. Fugging Miller.

Anyway, Xerxes I almost certainly has a Ryu Number of 2, and definitely not a Ryu Number more than 3, but there's some stuff.

The problem with finding a Ryu Number of Xerxes I is that 5th-century-BCE Persian monarchs don't show up in video games that often, for some reason. He makes a historical appearance in the Assassin's Creed Odyssey DLC Legacy of the First Blade...

...but unfortunately, Odyssey takes place too far after the times of myth and legend for anyone big enough to be a Minecraft skin in Greek-mythology-inspired DLC to show up.

It doesn't help, either, that in Assassin's Creed lore, all the "gods" were just members of a Precursor Race pretending to be gods, a la Stargate. No, that's not "Hera," that's a jerk Precursor Person who's taken on the identity of "Hera," all the better to lead mankind around like a clowder of schmucks. She's pretending to be Norse elsewhere. Don't fall for it.

(There's also A Minotaur, which feels like it ought to connect via that Minecraft skin pack, but if I'm understanding the Odyssey lore correctly—and I very well might not be; holler at me—the minotaur the player encounters isn't actually the Minotaur from the myth we know and love, but some random other guy who subsequently got his hands on the Precursor Technology that turns you into a minotaur. Yeah, everything is Precursor People in Assassin's Creed. It's kind of disappointing.)

Of course, you can still get to Xerxes through Odyssey if you want to—a handful of historical characters who don't have Minecraft skins show up—but you'll need an extra step. And if we're going to have an extra step anyway, I'm going to go for the route that doesn't need Assassin's Creed, partially because I haven't played the games yet but mostly because I'm still really disappointed about the Precursor People thing.

Which means, unfortunately, it's back to Miller.

I'll say this: For all that 300: March to Glory is Not A Very Good Video Game, it left me the impression that someone behind the scenes actually did the bare minimum research into the Greco-Persian Wars. Persian commanders Hydarnes and Mardonius make appearances (if only to provide something unique to hit), and Mardonius even survives the movie-equivalent events of the game until an epilogic, post-movie level that takes place during the Battle of Plataea—which is, indeed, where the historical Mardonius bit it. It's not much, but I had to watch the whole dang thing, so I'll take what I can get. Gets me more names for The Chart, besides.

As for connecting this game to Ryu, you can, of course, count on the Ol' Dependable of Games With Historical Figures:

...Or maybe you're not a fan of Anime And Things That Look Like Anime, in which case, try this, instead:

I'm not sure I can explain how weird Spartan: Total Warrior is—by which I'm referring to its existence more than anything in the game itself, though the content's pretty weird, too. For context, Total War is a series of strategy games featuring a combination of turn-based strategy, resource management, and real-time tactical control (so sayeth Wikipedia). There are a coupla Warhammer entries in the franchise, sure, but the vast majority of the games focus on real, historical campaigns and factions.

Spartan: Total Warrior, on the other hand, is a hack-and-slash that took one look at a history book and immediately took a pair of shears to it. The story starts in 300 BCE: The Roman Empire, led by Emperor Tiberius, has conquered almost the whole of Greece, with only Sparta remaining, and Leonidas leads his men into battle to oppose him. Later, the Romans reveal a superweapon powered by the imprisoned Medusa. Sejanus, Tiberius' right-hand man, is a powerful necromancer who kills and resurrects Castor's brother Pollux. One mission involves protecting Archimedes, leader of the Athenian resistance, from assassination.

To quote someone on Discord, this is a game supposedly set circa 300 BCE that "has one side led by a king who died 200 years before, and the other by an emperor who reigned 300 years after (never mind the fact that Rome was still a senatorial republic)." If you forced a too-serious historian to play this game they'd end up on the floor in a frothing heap of rage and/or despair (actually, someone should totally do that; I want to see the Greco-Roman history version of Jonathan Ferguson having to analyze the firearms of Team Fortress 2).

Oh yeah and Beowulf is there.

At some point you've got to appreciate—no, admire, even—the Xena:-Warrior-Princess-level decision to just Don't Worry About It.

And now that we have finished with the indisputable, let us proceed with the first of the hinky. Which is to say: Let's look at God of War: Chains of Olympus.

Chains of Olympus begins with an attack by the Persian navy on the Greek Attic peninsula (where Athens is, incidentally). The opening sequence features (among a whole lot of faceless Persian mooks) this prone-ish fella, who doesn't quite get to operating a ballista, irresponsibly leaving the work for Kratos instead.

(Credit: Migeman)

Inspecting the body after all the local ruckus is over identifies him as "Eurybiades," the "leader of the Athenian army."

Eurybiades was—according to historical record—a real person, though God of War doesn't exactly nail it on the head. Herodotus (who historians depend on more due to him being one of a Very Small Number of sources rather than anything to do with actual reliability) names Eurybiades as a Spartan who, during the second Persian invasion of Greece, was given command of the Greek navy due to some political whatuppery (the Spartans said that if a Spartan didn't lead it they'd be Awfully Uncooperative).

Following this bit, Kratos confronts the King of Persia (identity unspecified), who is apparently personally leading the invasion himself, which seems dumb but was apparently the norm back in those days. I bet we'd have a lot less wars if we made our Presidents actually serve on the front lines whenever they started feeling belligerent.

(Credit: Ibid.)

Anyway, Kratos kills the King of Persia, because if the King of Persia killed Kratos the game would be a lot shorter. Now, there's no watertight confirmation that this is the second Persian invasion—the first one also featured attempted Persian inroads into Attica, and was recent enough that it's not inconceivable for Eurybiades to have shown up, there, too—but if this is the second Persian invasion, and that is the King of Persia that was King of Persia during the second Persian invasion, then that King of Persia is Xerxes I.

And now, I think, you peer up at me, gaze beseeching. "But KC," you say, anxious and afraid, "Xerxes I didn't die during his invasion of Greece! After Greek victory at the Battle of Salamis, Persian forces were forced to withdraw from Attica, including Xerxes I himself, after which he focused on lavish construction projects until he was assassinated fifteen years later for unrelated reasons! He didn't die in the Greco-Persian Wars at all!"

To which I say: You know who else didn't die in the Greco-Persian Wars? Eurybiades. And you know who definitely didn't die in a fit of paranoid, obsessive overwork in the heart of a monumental statue of Apollo on the isle of Delos?

What I'm saying here is that God of War's relationship with historicality is fleeting at best, so maybe Don't Worry About It here, too.

(Incidentally, if it's the first Persian invasion of Greece that Kratos is mucking around in, then that king is actually Darius the Great, who also didn't die in Greece in real life. Darius is in Civilization V, though, so getting his Ryu Number is a lot easier.)

And speaking of Civilization, I've finally come to the shortest route I've found that, for all its likeliness, isn't as definite as I'd like, which is why I've saved it for last. You know how Civilization works, I think—you play a historical civilization (with a historical leader to match), and go up against other historical civilizations with their leaders. Like Darius, just now—he's your leader if you decide to play as the Persians.

Civilization III is like that...but unfortunately not as much like that as a fellow'd prefer. Sure, it's got its civilizations and leaders...

...But there's the occasional glaring unspecificity that's apparently there to make life difficult for me in particular. Yeah, sure, Montezuma here is most likely the second one—the one everyone knows, the one that had the real bad experience with Spain—but are you sure he isn't the first one instead? Like, absolutely sure? The instruction manual doesn't say, you know. How sure are you? Sure enough to bet a dollar? Two dollars? Fifty dollars? Your firstborn child? Why would I want your firstborn child, anyway? I don't want to look after a child; that's literally more work for me.

The Persian civilization exhibits the same problem here. Yeah, of course that's Xerxes I! If the team behind the game is picking out a historical figure named Xerxes to represent the Persians, it's got to be Xerxes I. But at the same time, there's technically nothing saying this isn't Xerxes II, a separate 5th-century-BCE Persian ruler of the Achaemenid Empire. I mean, it's terribly unlikely, seeing as Xerxes II ruled for 45 days before being killed by his half-brother, who ruled for six months before being killed by his half-brother, making him Not Exactly The Sort Of Individual You'd Put The Spotlight On, but Mahatma Gandhi and Joan of Arc are the leaders of Indian and French civilizations in this game, and that's weird, too. Gandhi was never the Prime Minister of India or anything like that, and Joan of Arc was a military leader, not a monarch.

Still, if you're willing to follow the reasonable assumption that the Xerxes here is Xerxes I, then the path that results is pretty dang optimal:

...If this is how you found out that Mahatma Gandhi is in Minecraft DLC, I'm sorry.

[sublime-beyond-loss]

My Thoughts On Having Run The ‘Keeping The Narrator Company’ Livestream

As we enter the final days of the livestream, which you can find here: https://www.youtube.com/user/MyLittleCoward09/videos

I wanted to put some of my thoughts down for posterity. I was going to wait until the last day or so of the stream to post this, but I don't have any faith in my PS4 to hold out so I figured it was best to get this out now, just in case. This is going to be a long post so TLDR: That Ultra Can Deluxe.

What was the actual point of this stream? Why did I do something so odd and pretty dang unwise? Well, to get it, you kinda have to actually like the Narrator as a character, which a lot of people don't. I've seen so many people go along with the initial joke and skip button him into oblivion without picking up on the existential horror of it at all, and others do it intentionally because they just don't like him. For me, I was troubled by the way the game forces you to go through with it, so I thought, why not commit to doing the opposite for awhile? 

When you pull back the jokes and all of the existential dread talk, I think, at the end of the day, this stream was meant to bring some small sense of hope to an incredibly bleak part of this silly game. I don't believe that's consciously why I started it, but that is what it ended as. I did originally start this largely as a joke when I needed to go into quarantine after I caught a certain virus, despite being fully vaxxed, but then the existential dread kicked in and I tried to embrace that as an experiment.

As I ruminated on some things, as was bound to happen while doing this, I came to understand more and more why this scene got to me in the way that it did. As it so often does, The Stanley Parable tends to mockingly hold a mirror up to your face, and I saw so much of myself in this scene. I hated that there was nothing I could do to stop the self-destruction brought about by insecurity, couched in humor and exaggerated ego, until it was not, which I immediately picked up on the first time I played this scene, long before it started to spiral out of control into pure horror. 

I struggle with criticism and parsing out what is valid criticism and what is just someone being flippant in their critique, and I speak of this both from the perspective of a writer and just as a person. I've done an incredible amount of harm to myself trying to please others and so often at the expense of myself. I'm still working on undoing all of that damage and learning how to just be me without the shame others instilled in me. So, yeah, I find the whole thing a bit relatable.

It was a bit of a gut punch that the game forces you to partake in this character's self-destructive insecurities and that there's nothing you can do about it, because let's face it, absolutely no one was going to avoid pushing forward in this game they just bought, no matter how hard the game tries to make you feel bad about it. There's a million different ways to interpret how this scene ends for the Narrator and what the epilogue implies for him too, but I won't get into any of it or else we'd be here forever. In the end, I decided that I was going to shake my fist in defiance of the whole thing for a little while, even if it was always going to be in vain. 

That's not to say I hate the skip button scene, not at all. I think it's one of the best pieces of writing to come out of the The Stanley Parable, and I wouldn't have put my PS4 at risk otherwise, but I do dislike the inescapable hopelessness of it. So I made my own hope. Aggressive compassion and silliness in the face of a cruel and unyielding outcome. Hell, if you really want to get meta with it, I even gave the version of the Narrator who wanted me to be consumed by this mentality the peace of mind he so badly needed lol.

I've been in a deep depression for awhile now, and as stupid as it sounds, this game really helped to pull me out of it for the time being. I laughed and had fun and it had been so long since anything made me feel so happy. And then, shortly after that, it became one of those autistic hyperfixations of mine, and as any autistic person can tell you, there is nothing that feels quite so good as having a new obsessive interest to completely engulf yourself in. It has been a very, very long time since this has happened for me, probably well over a decade at this point. I think this stream was a way for me to hold on to this feeling for a little while longer and have a great time with it before it passes. It has become such a rare and fleeting thing for me now and this may very well be the last time I experience it.

Aside from that, this stream was a way for me to express myself and put myself out there after having been so withdrawn for so long. It was a way for me to be my weird, wonderful self with a devil-may-care attitude and with no shame involved, despite the occasional self-deprecating humor. Most would consider this a stupid, tedious, pointless thing to do, but I had fun, and that's all that matters in the end. I fully expected this stream to just be me with the occasional person popping in to tell me what an idiot I am, so I never expected that it would gain a bunch of regulars who understood what the stream was meant to represent. Thanks for helping me keep the Narrator company.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Vice Versa ep 11

Much like Puen and Talay shifting back to their original universe (ou) this week, the show made a clear design shift. Before the ep, I was eagerly awaiting red - so much Red - in the clothes, in the lighting, in the set and in the props...so I felt bereft when we didn't get it. It felt strange, as though this ep didn't seem to belong in the same 'world' that the series had set up over the past 10 eps...and of course it didn't!...because we weren't in the alternate universe (au) anymore...we're now back in the ou. Of course it would be different.

But I didn't realise this at first.

At first I didn't understand. I missed the look and feel of the show that I had gotten used to over the past ten weeks. I wanted the vibrancy of the multi-coloured palettes, the saturation of single colours throughout the scenes. I was sad the show had changed and I couldn't, at first, find reasoning to it. But then I did - I realised I was basically being made to feel how Talay and Puen (and probably Pakorn and Tess) must have been feeling to have left somewhere that they had gotten to know and love. Their bereftness was also my bereftness. My sadness that I didn't get all. the. red. was their sadness to leave the lives they had lived for two years.

And what a perfect way to emphasise this change from one thing to the next - the end of one thing and the beginning of the next - than Fuse's (maybe final, if we don't see him again) t-shirt, "SUNDAY". Incidentally, the colour attributed to Sunday in Thailand is also, yes, you guessed it, RED.

Despite it being the red episode, there was actually a lot of blue and yellow (see Aou above and Pakorn below for examples). I can reason blue could be because of Talay but the yellow I'm not so sure about (I come back to this later!). The very first shot of the ep is of Pakorn in the blue and yellow windbreaker...but in the ambulance Puen has changed to the other actor's top. Now, this could just be a continuity error...but it could also be very deliberate and I want to know why. (It could I suppose have been that before going into the ambulance they changed Puen out of his wet top and put him in the dry one of his co-star...but that doesn't seem like a likely scenario in an emergency):

But back to red...and the red we did get was small and subtle - one could say 'normal' amounts of a colour that we'd expect in our everyday lives. Perhaps to show that Puen and Talay are back to their 'normal' lives in their universe (albeit changed by Tess and Pakorn). @talaypuens wrote a fabulous post looking at this understated use of red, about how the red both represents Puen (in Thai, red = "daeng" - which sounds like how Talay kept drawing out the the name 'Dang' which he used for Tun in jest - and which can translate to being 'famous' or a 'celebrity'), and also as a symbol of things preventing Talay and Puen from getting to each other - literally as a 'stop sign'.

I loved Talay's time at the beach in particular, because we not only have the cryptic blue and yellow (of the fisherman's t-shirt and Talay's shirt) in the daytime but when Talay finally gets to the island at night, he's wearing a pastel red linin shirt. Maybe because on one hand he's closer to being with Puen again, but on the other hand the pink, along with the different blues of the sky, sea, and fisherman's t-shirt, and the slightly orangey-red of the boat, make up the 'Sea palette' that Puen named in ep 7.

The same colours which are in the painting beside Talay's bed as soon as he gets home:

I won't go through all the red instances (because @talaypuens did that in their post linked above)...but I'll just point out two which weren't included. First in the cinema, with Puen's pink beside Talay, the red behind...and Gyo in a blend of their colours beside him (red+blue=purple):

And earlier with Talay's friend group (miraculously accepting him back after a two-year estrangement). Just look at all that blue and yellow!

In their post, @talaypuens points out that there's a push and pull of the universe trying to get Talay and Puen together and this is shown in the the form of green vs red - the green "nature/set is organically telling them where they will eventually end up (the glass house), but the artificial inserts of red also is STOPPING them from letting it happen". And we see as the ep goes on that more and more of the screen is taken over by the green...which I realise now is made from mixing yellow and blue...so that could be the reason those colours are more prevalent in the beginning of the ep and less so after the green itself takes over. The above friend scene is one of the last ones with yellow in it, as is the greeny-yellow jacket of the interviewer in the following scene. Blue and yellow pop back again briefly in the cinema as Talay is rushing back to try to see Puen:

And then Talay and Puen finally meet at the glass house...which is full of green...but also both are wearing dark blue, and the fairy lights bringing in the yellow. Everything adds up to green. Everything is screaming GO. Finally.

But before we get the reunion, Talay reaches out to the pinky-red plant in the cage, perhaps representing Puen or their love (pink is them remember) but whilst they've been estranged from each other they are trapped, stunted, unable to grow and develop to their full potential. Or maybe the plant represents everything from the alternate universe and how it's shut away from them, unreachable, and potentially slowly dying...as memories do when they fade away...? @grapejuicegay also made some wonderful interpretations about this here: "Puen trapped back in this universe when Talay had to struggle to make his way back, Puen trapped behind the wall of fame that is keeping them from meeting".

And so we get to the end and this below, this was the only moment I felt we were back to the 'world' of Vice Versa. In Puen's bedroom, with the pink and blue feel of the lighting (along with that pop of golden light) that the past two eps have been leaning on so strongly. I felt a comfort, a familiarity, a sense of 'this is where we belong'...very much like Talay and Puen must be feeling to finally be back within each other's orbit, no?

And so for next week...I've done a lot of theorising already about the final ep colour and right now I don't think I could guess from the preview, so I'll just keep it to what I'd like it to be -> either a blue (for Talay) or a 'sea green' (to match the ocean blue) or silver (because of the moon reference we got in the preview), or even a violet/purple for @grapejuicegay 💜

These little easter eggs (the colour-wheel clock and artwork on the wall) might also be telling us that it's a light colour...or just giving us a red herring because the show has either purposefully left it blank or used two slightly different shades so as not to spoil it...we'll soon see!

'Transparent' has also been suggested (by @demichirua), which I like because Talay has been carrying a transparent bag this ep, but also because, as @grapejuicegay said: "the barriers between the universes are sort of clearing up for them" (if they do universe-hop again as the preview is leading us to believe).

Anyway, never trust a Thai trailer/preview...so I'm hoping they are just leading us on and that they won't actually switch universes again. There's a lot to suggest that they do universe-hop - Talay doesn't have his glasses on in one cafe scene (and in the bathroom and in bed), so it could be in the au, and sometimes Puen and Talay are wearing clothes more in the style of Pakorn and Tess...

But, there's a lot to suggest they also don't universe-hop - Talay has his glasses on even in scenes where their clothes look more like from the au (they could have just bought similar clothes in the ou because they've gotten used to them) and he also has his glasses on when he has the Friend Credits folder and when it looks like he meets Aou (who could be someone else in the ou like with Joe/Pramote -> @grapejuicegay here I go with my clown Dol agenda again because what if Dol makes it back and he looks like Aou in the original universe!). Remember, similar objects/locations exist in both universes...

[Ep 1] [Ep 2] [Ep 3] [Ep 4] [Ep 5] [Ep 6] [Ep 7] [Ep 8] [Ep 9] [Ep 10] [Ep 11] [Ep 12]

[selfpositiveundertale]

Hey. Vent post and update. Not a happy post.

I'm not okay. I don't know when or if I will be okay. My health seems to be getting worse. I'm having a problem that, going from the symptoms, seems a lot like hypoglycemia, but my most recent blood work says I am not diabetic or prediabetic and everything looked normal. As I understand it, hypoglycemia without diabetes is a rare condition, but with my luck and my medical history I would not be surprised. I'm needing to eat more and more frequently and it seems like the specific types of food that were helping to keep the problems at bay just aren't as effective anymore, and now I can barely even tell what specific thing I need to eat. Do I need protein? Do I need greens? Do I need complex carbs? Do I need sugar? Who knows! Not me! I just have to guess and hope I guess right, or else my body is going to throw a fit about it and give me a matter of minutes to consume the Correct Thing before it just makes me go to sleep.

I dare not stray outside my list of safe foods, and by safe foods I mean foods that won't make my issues worse. Most candy, soda, white bread, anything with a lot of simple carbs or refined sugars is out of the question if I want to stay awake, upright, and functional, with few exceptions. Even honey, eating fruit, plant based protein, most vegetables besides dark leafy greens and potatoes and sweet potatoes, and things like white rice or bread that's been enriched with nutrients, at best does no good and at worst makes me feel like I'm going to keel over, which really sucks because my ultimate comfort food is soup beans and cornbread, and if I could eat that to get me through the day I would. The only things I can at least somewhat rely on are animal protein(preferably red meat but seafood, poultry, or eggs will do in a pinch, and whey protein is a last resort), dark leafy greens(kale, collard greens, that kind of thing), fruit juice(MUST be 100% juice) or fruit smoothies, and complex carbs(mostly whole grains, potatoes, and sweet potatoes, but oat milk works for a quick fix).

I'm trying to find solutions and work around this whole thing so I can go on with my life. I'm baking a lot of whole grain cornbread these days because it's easy to make and is the perfect thing when I need my carbs. I might need to invest in a bulk amount of beef jerky. I had been getting bulk amounts of cans of apple juice online but that's been harder to get in recent weeks so I've just been getting a 90-something-oz jug of grape juice from the store instead. My therapist suggested I start making green smoothies rather than just eating my greens cooked, so I might start getting my greenery in that way. Throwing the green stuff into the blender with some oat milk, chopped fruit, and a scoop of whey protein powder might make my life easier. I'll also discuss it with my chiropractor when I see him later this week, as he is a licensed nutritionist and can probably help me figure something out.

I'm so dang sick of being tired or hungry or both 24/7 and my body being like a fuel inefficient car that guzzles a whole tank of gas just to get you to the other side of town. If I go longer than an hour or so without eating or if I eat the wrong thing, I start getting hit by fatigue, dizziness, headache, shakiness, confusion, blurring vision, weakness, stuttering or slurred speech, and it'll get worse until I either eat something or fall asleep. If I fall asleep, I usually at least wake up with just enough strength to get something small and quick into my system and give myself the energy to think of what I need to do next.

I don't know what this is or why it's happening. I find myself wondering if it could be related to my fibromyalgia, or a long term side effect from when I caught covid a year or two ago, or if I've messed up my liver by taking Excedrin Migraine for the chronic headaches I've had since 2011, or if I'm alone in this. I haven't met anyone else dealing with this exact thing. Every time I go a-googling, I only ever find articles about diabetes and I want to scream BUT I DON'T HAVE THAT SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??? They say a problem well defined is half solved, but what can you do about it when you don't even have the resources to define the problem?

I have cried so much in the last week or so because I'm so frustrated with this. It's ruining everything in my life. I can't complete my personal responsibilities, I can't keep up with most of my friends except for the small handful of my very closest friends, I haven't been active on here in ages, haven't been able to get any crochet work done, barely been able to practice any self care beyond eating whatever I have the strength to put together, and I'm starting to lose sight of the point of existing if it has to be in a body that hurts all the time and can't hold onto fuel. I'm frustrated, I'm tired, I'm scared, I'm sad, I'm angry, I'm lost, and it's getting harder and harder to not lose hope. I'm really trying to hang in there, but it's so hard.

I don't know what to do anymore.

It's after 2am, so I think I'll stop there and try to get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be better. One can hope.

Stay determined. I'm trying to.

[nikibogwater]

Niki Blethers: The Mandalorian--season 3

I know my Blethers posts are usually about individual episodes, but I was away from Tumblr for most of this season’s release schedule, so I’m just going to drop my final thoughts on the season as a whole.

Spoilers below the cut!

Before we begin: I’m aware that season 3′s finale revealed that Din is actually his family name, not his first name. But I am too deeply rooted in the habit of calling him Din now, so I am going to continue to do so until further notice, canon notwithstanding.

Short version: I’m of the opinion that season was very badly written overall. Not just that the story went in directions I didn’t like, but that the narrative structure itself was very poorly constructed. 

The biggest issue is the way plotlines and character arcs that had previously been set up as important steps for the main characters are all hastily resolved and brushed aside with no fanfare. 

The search for the Living Waters beneath Mandalore is set up in the season premier as though that is going to be the main focus of this season. Din finds the Living Waters in the very next episode, and we’re not even allowed to see what this moment means to him as a character. Because apparently it’s just so much more important to know how Bo Katan feels about Din’s commitment to the Way and his personal journey for redemption. It’s 2023, you can’t have your main protagonist be motivated by their sense of tradition and faith! At the very least, you have to keep all that nonsense at arm’s length by showing it through the eyes of an outsider!!! 

Bo Katan’s rivalry with Din was also something that season 2 set up, and the season 3 premier seemed to lean into. It really looked like we were going to see these two clash over their ideological differences (not to mention the Darksaber) at least a few times this season. But then he said something nice about her dad and now she’s cool with him having the Darksaber, so nevermind. 

Din’s struggle to master the Darksaber was a major part of his two-episode appearance in The Book of Boba Fett. Season 3 sees him barely using the dang thing before it’s unceremoniously ripped away from him and plopped back into Bo Katan’s lap.

Basically the entire season felt like it was doing its utmost to ignore the rules of Setup and Payoff. Nothing felt important in this season because anything that did have a significant amount of setup behind it was resolved with the wave of a hand. The knowledge that any plot point could be dropped as soon as the showrunners got tired of it made it impossible for me to care about what was happening. 

I was actually bored for most of this season--as in, mind wandering, checking the clock to see how much time had passed, reaching for a fidget toy bored. Star Wars hasn’t been outright boring to me since the days-long podracing scene in The Phantom Menace. 

They sidelined Din in order to focus on Bo Katan, and they didn’t even bother to make her earn the position of main protagonist. Everything she needs is handed to her by virtue of her being in the right place at the right time. She didn’t earn the Darksaber--she just happened to be there when Din lost it. She doesn’t prove herself as a capable leader--in fact the first thing she does is her people head-first into a trap--and the only reason she has the opportunity to be a capable warrior is because the writers keep conveniently forgetting how skilled of a fighter Din is. 

So not only did they remove Din from the spotlight in his own show, they replaced him with a character who isn’t even half as interesting or compelling as he was. And just to make things that much worse, Bo Katan could have been at least somewhat intriguing if they had leaned into her flaws--y’know this woman used to be an actual terrorist, right? Like, she was at least partially responsible for the death of her sister and the fall of Mandalore. But the show isn’t going to bring any of that up or even remotely imply that it’s part of what motivates Bo Katan in the present because that would detract from her image as the Ultimate Badass Girlboss Queen Supreme version 2.5.

I highly suspect that the reason for Bo Katan being brought in as a substitute for Din was due to corporate meddling. It is very difficult for me to believe that Jon and Dave--two very competent writers who have both given us fascinating characters and well-told stories in the past--would start half-assing this show with no warning. The Mandalorian was their baby, and the behind-the-scenes documentaries show how passionate and careful they were. This whole situation just reeks of Hollywood executives slavering for the chance to virtue signal about their “strong female characters” on Twitter. Because y’know...that’s totally not a thing that has existed in the Star Wars canon since the very first movie. 

I could make a mile-long post that is only about the stuff I personally didn’t like. I could talk about how much I dislike the sidelining of the series staple characters, how much I hate the way IG-11 was treated, how I think Grogu running and flipping and fighting on his own looks janky as heck. But those aren’t technical failures--those aren’t examples of the season actually being badly constructed.

As much as I hate those things, I acknowledge that they could have been well-written. Just because you personally dislike something doesn’t mean that it is badly-written. The real downfall of this season for me isn’t that it had concepts I personally disliked, but that those concepts were executed in the story with all the grace and forethought of a toddler jamming a square into a triangle-shaped hole. 

Everyone has a different level of tolerance when it comes to bad writing, and everyone has different ideas of what bad writing even is in the first place. There are plenty of poorly-written movies and shows out there that are nonetheless entertaining. I know there have been fans for whom this season’s failings weren’t an issue. But I hit my limit before the end of the second episode. And while there were a few individual scenes that I found enjoyable, it was not enough to outweigh my overall feeling of complete apathy towards every major event that unfolded in this season.

Let’s get one thing straight here: I love the first season of The Mandalorian. To this day, I rank it as the greatest piece of Western sci-fi that I’ve ever seen. I fangirled over it so hard that it convinced my parents to watch it--and then they fangirled over it with me. It was the first time both of my parents were just as in love with a piece of media as I was, and they gladly went out of their way to watch, re-watch, and discuss it with me. It’s an extremely special show to us because of that. 

So for season 3 to be so clumsy and boring that my parents couldn’t watch past the fourth episode--so mind-bogglingly dull that even I, Devoted Mando Fangirl that I am, had to make myself sit down and watch new episodes--well, the showrunners really had to screw up big time in order to achieve something like that. 

Oh, and you wanna know the absolute WORST part about all of this? ...Somehow season 3 of The Mandalorian is still better than the series finale for Tales of Arcadia. :’)

[teeterarting]

here's a list of things i love about PSMD for no reason other than i think it deserves appreciation (spoilers)

the hero gets adopted by a nuzleaf. Hero, a young child that doesn't know why they were brought into this world, attacked by beheeyem, scared and alone, finds someone that takes them under his wing and gives them a home. it's really sweet that once Nuzleaf brings them to the Village, Hero's not alone anymore.

yes it was all a trick, he deceived you. but being betrayed by your father figure hits so much harder. it's much more personal, especially when both Hero and Partner are kids. and when Nuzleaf goes through all that ordeal in the post game, then gets accepted back into the village?? And his little speech to Hero????? it's heartbreaking and incredibly touching at the same time

everything is just so cute!!!! you go to school with your new friendo and you're friends with the schoolkids, and you make the trip to school every morning taking in the scenery, the smell of dew and fresh grass, and the sun on your face... and you take classes about Mystery Dungeon mechanics, and principal Simipour is a big BRO, the school nurse Audino is super kind and helpful... and you get to play with your pokemon friendos in summer vacation, and explore a dungeon with 'em... AND your bond with your Partner begins to form, getting stronger and stronger from then on. PSMD's beginning arc is so warm and pleasant, it's like reliving childhood memories all over again, when things were happier and you didn't have to worry about how cruel the world is. this story section's one purpose is to get the player used to the game's mechanics, as well as foreshadowing. unfortunately most of the school kids get forgotten later on, but I still love this part for everything it is, even if unintentional.

it's not just the beginning that's cute. PSMD'S ENTIRE WORLD IS ADORABLE. It's just filled with life every town you go. there are a bunch of pokemon locals and they all have interesting things to say, in the main story and the post-game. there's a point where their comments get repetitive, but that's bound to happen in any PMD game. Even then, the days are never the same. one morning you wake up and the Lively Town locals are exercising, then the next they're having singing lessons, and then they're practicing martial arts. and you get to connect with (or recruit) some of them just by.... chatting!!! Sitting next to that big ol' venusaur and sharing stories, laughing and having fun. it's good stuff.

Sometimes you find travelling pokemon in dungeons and it's jsut the coolest thing. Imagine you're exploring a dungeon, then your Connection Orb notifies you there's a fellow explorer in the floor. First thing you do is try to find them, and when you do - oh dang a travelling Archeops!!!! And then they just,,,, exchange their experiences and thoughts on exploration and how hard it is to fend off those enemies and the cool treasure they found the other day (the game calls it "[Team Name] and [Traveller pokemon] compared notes"). then the traveller heals you, fills your belly and restores your PP. and they go on their way. idk man it's such a cute interaction. explorers chatting, empathizing and helping each other, bc their job is not an easy one...

PSMD Partner is the most developed Partner in any PMD game yet. They start off as this naive, hyperactive kiddo, then stuff happens, and worse stuff happens, and you get to see how they grow and change and by the end they're a different person than they were before (in more than one way ...). It's just so nice to be by their side, from the beginning to the bitter end, and watch their growth. in contrast, Hero is a little unbalanced in that their backstory is not explored as much, and their personality is kind of a blank - probs meant to be vague so the player can be in their shoes. to me this just gives you the opportunity to shape their character however you want, so you can have tons of different hero/pardner dynamics.

The music is rlly flippin' good. Some of the tracks are recycled from previous entries, but when they go original??? it's a blast!!! "Echoes of the Mystical Forest" is one of my favorites in all four entries, it has no right being so amazing for a random dungeon. "Time to Set Out" makes me cry immediately (also i think it would be a better fit for the parting ways scene at the end...). Don't even get me started on "Second Dark Matter Battle", it has everything an epic climax needs and MORE. the Partner remix????? absolute genius

speaking of which, Dark Matter ITSELF,, is freaking amazing. Its actions were foreshadowed in the very beginning, though they were not blatant through the game. i do think they could have done a better job at showing the pokemon's negativity raising in the world, as well as negative feelings in the characters... but it's not like Gates did a good job at it, either (outside of cutscenes, all the locals in Post Town are incredibly nice to you and fights didn't "break out often". it's like the game tells you the world is a dark place, but what it shows in gameplay doesn't add up). so i'll cut them some slack. Still, I find Dark Matter a more compelling villain than the Bittercold for several reasons. it is sentient. its speech is a jumbled amount of voices all talking at the same time - the anguished voices of the world. It actually concocted a plan to hurl the planet into the Sun, using pawns like Nuzleaf and Yveltal to do its dirty job. in the Voidlands, Hero and Partner discover its past, and how it'll come back after defeat, like a cycle. when Partner accepts Dark Matter, they accept negative feelings as something everyone has within themselves. Most of all, the fact that Dark Matter is a manifestation of negative feelings doesn't make it just a generic threat, a final obstacle to be defeated so the world can be saved. It makes Dark Matter - negativity itself - a natural part of the world, the yin to its yang. and that's why I LOVE IT SO MUCH DANG IT EVEN THANKS PARTNER FOR THEIR ACCEPTANCE

The fact that Dark Matter can possess pokemon that have "even the smallest amount of darkness in their hearts". it makes me think of Mr. Nuzleaf and what he might have gone through in the past to make him so easy to be controlled. Did he hold a grudge against someone?? Did he commit a crime?? Had Nuzleaf always been malicious???? And if so, is this why he shows so much remorse in the post-game??????? because he had always been this vile fiend and then he met this small kid and got attached, but still carried on with his evil actions because his malice was still stronger than the positive feelings and Dark Matter's hold on him intensified?????? I don't know!!!! and as much as i wish the game could have given us that sweet mr. Nuzleaf backstory, it's pretty fun to have freedom to come up with your own version.

Everything about Super's climax is just phenomenal. Every single flippin' legendary is there to help you. Arceus is in the game. MEWTWO IS THERE. and when things are looking hopeless, they really seem hopeless. First the Tree of Life is dying, then your allies get turned into stone and sent to hell The Voidlands, Arceus gets turned into stone, the entire world is stone (except for several mon' that are still safe and holding onto hope, but they're so few). Your Harmony Scarves stop working and you and your Partner are back to your feeble, basic stage forms. You are bordering exhaustion, you have no Emeras, it's just you and your Partner against an eldritch abomination that's killing the life on the entire planet like a parasite, devouring all hope. but you still fight back. Given how adults in the game always discourage the village children from going adventuring, that they cannot do this or that because they're so little and fragile, it's awesome how Hero and Partner beat Dark Matter as tiny kids.

PSMD is not a flawless game. in fact there's plenty of things that hold it back and i even mentioned some... but it's still full of love put into it and it resonates w me more than PMD Explorers of T/D/S and Gates to Infinity (Rescue Team is a close second). its my all-time favorite PMD game.

[etherealvoidechoes]

Ne Cede Malis - REDUX - A Twist of Fate

Something I've been sitting on and then reworked it some more as the writing monster tries to bite me. Bite harder dang it.

Took the old version, but applied Find Your Light to it, including Asaru and Bradford being bonded, but keeping Jynn in a Proto-Chosen state. So consider this the new canon of this AU.

Now 13.9k.

Warnings for language, violence, references to alcoholism, and references to self-harm.

Can't say when I'll have the new versions posted on Ao3 and FF.net. May just append/add as a chapter to the old ones with the appropriate author notes.

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“Ho—how much longer… until we reach the outpost, Bradford?” Manson asked in-between gasps of air and grunts.

“Not much longer. Should see it when we reach the top of this hill.” Bradford replied.

“And then how far from there?” He sounded so exhausted.

“Oh, ease up.” Laney rolled her eyes. “Fresh ain’t killing you.”

“The humidity is.”

“Should install a fan into your Gremlin then. Just try to not get thrown out of Shen’s workshop.” She playfully teased, only to get a few curses slung at her. Yuri let out a boisterous laugh.

“You’re just asking for him to get thrown out of Shen’s workshop. Again.” Jody snickered. 

“I didn’t know that was her workshop.” Manson said through gritted teeth.

“Go easy on the new guy.” Joshua shook his head. He grabbed Manson’s pack off his back and slung it onto his. Manson gave a quick thank you.

Bradford was leading a squad of about five, him included, through the backwoods of North Georgia. Partially into the Appalachian Mountains. Though it was a cool, spring day, a recent rain had saturated the air as Manson was not dealing with the humidity well.

There were some sound rumors there was a reputable Black Market dealer that made their home deep within the moments. In fact, they had turned an abandoned ADVENT outpost into their base of operations. A bold and dangerous play on their hand, but seemed like ADVENT didn’t care about this region. Barely any patrols ran through the mountain. Maybe the occasional dropship flew by, but not much happened. Hopefully, the trip was worth it. Heard the dealer may have been in possession of some sensitive equipment procured from an ADVENT facility. And they were always interested in getting their hands on sensitive equipment. No telling where it could lead them.

As they crested the hill, there it was. The outpost was off in the distance, just a few miles away. A white, grim covered building with several vines growing over it. The sun's rays glistened off one of those gaudy, golden statues of the Elders. A surprising sight. Those things were usually defaced or torn down when abandoned.

“This is a beautiful sight.” Asaru partially emerged from Bradford and peered around at the vast wilderness. Just so much greenery, bright greenery and colorful flowers blossoming all around. At least some of the Earth was untouched by what the Elders had done. 

“It is.” Bradford nodded. One of the positives of running field missions. Getting away from the constant swarming hub of the Avenger and those metal interiors was always refreshing. Thinking of metal interiors, they needed to do some redesigning and decorating to make the place more lively. Maybe some black market contacts knew some carpenters? Could use some more wood paneling that wasn’t just the bar and crew’s quarters.

“I need… to catch my… breath.” Manson sat down as soon as they reached the top of the hill. He wiped the sweat from his brow before taking a swing of water from his canteen.

“Make it short.” Bradford glanced back at him and then at his watch. They still had a good amount of time before evening would hit. He wanted them to at least get halfway back to the Avenger before nightfall to set up camp. He rolled his eyes when Asaru chided him; yes he was being harsh, but they had a schedule to keep.“You’ve gotta toughen up, man.” Laney was still playfully picking on him. She found a log to step on to do some stretches to loosen up her legs. “Can’t have you on missions if you’re getting this tuckered out.

Manson furrowed his brows at her. “Not used to the humidity.” He was more used to drier climates. “Still getting used to carrying so much gear. I’m more of an engineer than a soldier.”

Manson was a new recruit to XCOM. A former ADVENT engineer fed up with the life and lies. He lived through the invasion as a teenager, and things never sat well with him. Of course, all the things the Elders did were wondrous, but it was all a lie. And then education They brought made his engineering interests flourish, but once he was older and found a job, he felt used. Eventually, catching wind of this XCOM made him want a way out of this false “golden” life. And there were a few others like him. It took some work, but they orchestrated a rescue from XCOM and delivered some equipment and valuable information into their hands. A few left to help with some havens, but most, including him, stuck with XCOM.

He flinched several times as Yuri patted his back. 

“You’ll adapt in no time, kiddo.” He gave a reassuring smile in his slightly thick Russian accent. A jagged scar ran up the left side of his face, from lip to ear. His left eye was glassy, but there was a hint of life to it. “If you don’t, you’ll suffer Corvo’s wrath.” He wiggled his fingers and made an ominous “ooOooOoo” sound.

“Don’t remind me of him.” Manson huffed. He wished he never volunteered to join the more military part of XCOM. It was interesting, but he should have just stuck with the engineering crew, but there were hurting to have more people on the field. Corvo was a slave master when it came to training. He wondered how a man like him was married to Shay, who also helped with the training. She was miss peppy to mister cold… who had his own quirks. Annoying Bradford was one of them. 

“Our blue friend sensing anything off?” Laney asked, as she went over to Bradford after stretching. She noticed their resident alien had partially emerged. 

“No, just admiring the sights.” Asaru answered with a chuckle. “Earth’s natural beauty untouched by the Elders.”

“Ah, gotcha.” She nodded and smiled. “The Appalachian Mountains have always been -ahem- purdy.” She playfully jabbed Bradford’s arm.

He flinched, eyes twitching for a moment, before rolling them. “Laney…” A slight tinge of red appeared in his cheeks. Asaru laughed.

“Sorry, just remembering what slipped out during the briefing with Corvo and Shay. Channeling some of Commander Reeves and her brother.” She tried her best to stifle a snicker, but a snort slipped out. “Got stuck in that accent for a few minutes and Asaru didn’t help.”

“Yeah… yeah… yeah.” There was a slight dejection in his voice. He had Asaru to blame for random accent slips due to influences from previous hosts. But there was just something about Jynn, his old friend, their old Commander that came out strong. He never really had a strong accent, whether it be “southern” or “midwestern”, but because of Asaru, one was slipping into them at random

Hearing the dejection, Laney put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a good squeeze. “Hey, we’ll find her. Found her blue friend.”

“We will find her.” Asaru agreed.

“Right, thanks. Trying to stay positive… just miss her a lot.”

“I know. And she was a pretty cool boss when not in work mode. Heck,” she snorted, “kinda miss how she would go off on the idiots. Dress them down. Especially the pranksters. Remember the Chryssalid puppet?”

“Oh, do NOT remind me of that day!” He never realized how mean of a hook the Commander had and then she nearly bit him when he had to restrain her from attacking the culprits.

A few minutes passed by as they all caught a break, discussed some things, and made quick checks on the local frequencies. No ADVENT activity for miles.

“Let’s get going.” Bradford was ready to go and Asaru had re-merged with him. He was already moving.

In about half an hour or so, they arrived at their destination. The outpost. It was quiet. Dead quiet. Just the sounds of birds chirping and leaves rustling.

“Hm.”

Bradford approached the door. He signaled for three of them to check the windows. The security lasers were down. Boards and tarps had replaced them, as there was no more power to keep them going. He gave another sign for Manson and Laney to have their Gremlins do some scanning. Better safe than sorry. Last thing they needed was them stumbling into a trap. Or a nest of Chryssalids. As they did that, he knocked on the door a few times in a pattern given to them by their sources.

“I have burned my tomorrows and my shadows.” And said the code phrase.

A few minutes passed… and no response.

“Hm.” He glanced over at Joshua and then Yuri.

“Lights out and the place looks empty on this side.” Joshua said.

“This side is dark too.” Yuri said.

“Backs empty.” Jody said, coming back from checking the rear.

“Hm…” He didn’t like that. He then looked back at their Specialists. Laney’s Gremlin had returned to her side.

“Reading no life signs but us.” Manson said. He was letting his Gremlin do more extensive scans. “Just cold on the inside. We’re the only hot spots.”

“Same here.”

“Hm.” Odd.

He looked at the door handle and gave it a tug. The door slide right open, with a bit of help. It stuck a few times and let out a grinding screech at one point. He winced. Somebody probably heard that.

Once fully opened… there was still no response. The place was empty. The lobby was set up like any other black market they had gone to. Several display cases containing various weapons, equipment, and resources. Dried meats handing off to one side. There were probably more items to be purchased in the side rooms.

“Hm.” He didn’t like this. His eyes glowed blue for a second. “Hm.” Still nothing. No other life signs. “Asaru?”

His eyes glowed again, this time lasting for over a minute.

“Nothing. No one else but us.” Asaru answered. “But something feels off.”

“Hm.” Always something. “Stay alert.” Cautiously, he entered. The others followed. He took in several whiffs and sneezed. Dusty. “Sea… salt?” But he was picking up a faint smell that was like the ocean in the room. Strange. Didn’t look like there were any candles burning.

His eyes glowed blue for a moment as he looked around. Still, they sensed nothing.

“Something is off…” Asaru repeated. “I can feel it.” Something was hanging loosely in the air, but he couldn’t put a tentacle on it.

“Picking that up too?” Yuri asked, nose wrinkling. Bradford nodded. “The air feels off.”

“Think it’s psionic activity?” He asked both Asaru and Yuri. Yuri was oddly sensitive to that. The doctors had done some tests. Said he had potential, and they were working on unlocking it with the help of their Templar Navla and then Asaru. Things were looking promising.

“Maybe.” He shrugged. “Could be coming from an artifact lying around. Still, we should be careful.”

“I think so. But it’s strange… and familiar.” Asaru said. 

“Familiar?” Bradford thought back, just in case anyone was around that could be listening in.

“I can’t put my finger on it. I’ll study it some more.”

“Okay.” He then nodded at Yuri. “Agreed. Careful, everyone.” 

They all slowly spread out, weapons at the ready for anything, as they searched the outpost for any signs of life. But Bradford stayed in the main room. He just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. No black market dealer would leave their place unsecured like this. They usually had bodyguards besides booby traps. 

“Don’t touch anything.” He noticed Joshua was about to touch one case by the left wall. The man quickly apologized and backed away. Bradford didn’t take another step further into the room. Something still didn’t feel right. “The dealer could have some nasty security set up.”

“Way ahead of you. Daedalus, do your thing.” Manson has his Gremlin carefully scanning the room to pick up any traps. That blue grid touched every inch of the room. “Clear. Next room, pal.” 

As the team continued to investigate, Bradford finally moved. He went over to the counter to see what was on sale. Some elerium, elerium cores, alien alloys, and torn down magnetic weapons caught his eye. Especially that elerium. “Hm…” They rarely had such a thing on display, especially the cores. You usually had to ask for those.

“Hey! WHAT TH—AAH— MM! MM!”

“Who was that?” He asked loudly. The muffled yells of one of his squadmates caught his attention. His finger hovered over the trigger to his shotgun. Eyes glowed again as he looked around. He saw the life signs of everyone. Almost everyone. Someone was missing. “Sound off! Everyone!” He ordered. “Sense anything Asaru?” He sent to him. 

“I heard that! Still here!” Yuri said.

“Nothing odd on the scanners!” Manson said.

“Investigating!” Jody said.

“Joining her!” Joshua added.

No response from Laney. Of course.

“Laney is gone… Her life sign just suddenly disappeared.” Asaru said. “Someone or something is here! There’s an odd disruption in the air.”

“Be careful.” Bradford was leery and what Asaru said didn’t help the feeling. Things were looking like a setup.

As Jody and Joshua entered the room, they last saw Laney head to, no one was there. Minus her Gremlin that was frantically flying around a hole in the ceiling. Dust and debris trickled from it and a broken light fixture swayed back and forth just a little too fast. 

“Laney’s gone, but her Gremlin’s still here.” Joshua said, turning on his comms. “Light fixture is swinging. Think something pulled her through the ceiling.” He cautiously moved over to that hole, turning on his flashlight at the end of his shotgun to see what was up there.

Then something fell from that opening and made several metallic tinks on the ground.

“SHIT!” Jody’s eyes went wide.

“GRENADE!” Joshua yelled. “WE GOT TROUBLE!” He swiftly turned and headed back to the door. A second later, the grenade went off, letting off a loud bang and tossing up a lot of dust and debris. It was a flashbang.

A second later, there was a scuffle, several yells, and gunfire.

“Dammit…” Bradford cursed under his breath. He heard several wooden boards snapping from the left and right sides. Manson let out a blood-curdling yell and then Yuri spitting out several curses and gunfire before he was silenced. They were getting picked off quickly.

“There are psionics at use!” Asaru finally figured it out. “Whoever this is, they are actively hiding themselves with psionics and snuffing out our allies with it.”

“Great.” Bradford mumbled under his breath. He wondered who it was. ADVENT with some Sectoids or some raiders who had a psion? With the former, he wondered if the Sectoids had learned a new trick. “Get read—“

Before he could move to find his teammates, he noticed a black and white blur swinging down from the ceiling. Then something hard hit his chest. 

“AGH!” The wind was knocked out of him as he hit the ground with a solid thud. His shotgun clattered from his hands.

The world spun as he quickly tried to get his bearings. There was something else in that kick. It hit like a truck and was fogging his mind. Felt like psionics. A jolt arced across his body and mind. Definitely psionics. Asaru was quick at work, clearing it away. As his vision cleared, he saw what kicked him, dropping from the ceiling and heading over to him. 

Shit. ADVENT. 

They had a helmet that reminded him of one of those Stun Lancers. He pulled himself over to his shotgun and quickly grabbed it. Before he could turn it on his attacker, they were on him, kicking the gun out of his hands and planting a knee on his chest. The next second, they had on his hand on his face and in an instant the world blurred again. 

He felt that familiar electricity arc across his brain as his ears roared and drums went at work on his skull. He noticed a blue glow growing around them and streams of energy traveling from him and up their arm.

 Fuck, they’re the psionic! He recognized the unpleasant feeling over taking his mind, but this was different. He felt like he was growing weak. As if his life was being drained from him with each passing second. Hell, he felt like his skin was wrinkling, drying out as the seconds passed. A feeling he was all too familiar with when he and Asaru accidentally over did it one day. Luckily, the squad got them back to Avenger in time for treatment. Recovery was rough.

“Asaru!” He yelled in his mind.

“Working on it.” Asaru replied with a pained voice. “They’re quite strong… Draining us like a vampire.”

Need to get them off! Need to cut this connection! Desperately, he tried pulling their hand from his face, but they had one hell of a death grip. He frantically reached for his knife, but they were blocking it. He could feel the both of them growing weaker by the second. This was not how he wanted to go out.

“Get… off… me…” He spat as his eyes began to glow. A quick burst of energy should do the trick and knock them off.

“Hm…” They muttered as they brought their face closer to his, cocking it to the side. That was interesting. 

“>BOSS! STOP!<“ He heard the flanging voice of one Hybrid somewhere in the back. So the one pinning him down was the head of this group. “>These people are XCOM!<“ 

Bradford understood what they said and wondered if he was hearing things. Why the hell were they telling them to stop? But he noticed something… The draining… the draining suddenly stopped.

“>XCOM?<” The one on top of him asked, turning their head.

“>Yes! XCOM!<“

“XCOM.” This time they uttered in English. That surprised Bradford. And they sounded female. 

She carefully shifted to the side, making sure she still had him pinned as she checked his shoulder. That familiar blue, polygonal patch was there. “Hm…” She brought her hand back to his face, undeterred by the death glare and snarl he had going on. He winced when he felt a connection again, but this time, it felt like probing. A quick search through his mind. A gasp left her mouth.

“Dammit.” She then cursed under her breath. “>EVERYONE! STAND DOWN! THEY’RE FRIENDLIES!<“ She switched back to the alien tongue.

“You seeing… hearing this, Asaru?” He sent a thought to him.

“Yes… this is a turn of events.” Asaru was just as surprised as him. “There’s something… interesting about them. Familiar too.”

Familiar. That again. He wondered what that was about.

Who the hell are these people? Bradford wondered just who this was. Were they Skirmishers? Had to be with their flanging voices and calling him and his people friendlies. He was curious what clan had gotten the jump on them.

He still struggled under his attacker, wishing to be free, but barely had the strength to lift his hand. Oh, great. He noticed her bringing her hand back to his face. He closed his eyes expecting the worse, but… but he felt his strength returning. A sharp gasp escaped from his lips. His life was coming back.

“This is… interesting.” Asaru noted, feeling the life returned to the both of them. “Also sensing the others again and more. Looks like this one was hiding everyone. They’re a strong psion.”

A minute or two passed before she took her hand off his face and got up. And he felt like himself again, minus the soreness to his chest and back.

“Sorry… sorry about that.” An out of breath apology came from her. And she was speaking in English again. But there was no more of the flanging in their voice like the others. Like she turned it off like a switch. Sounded completely human. And oddly familiar. He couldn’t put his finger on it. There was also a strain to her voice and a slight echo. She was slightly hunched over. Did that life transfer reserve take the life out of her? The skin on the lower part of her face… her brownish-red skin looked unnaturally pale and wrinkled. And then, from what he could tell, her neck was black. Like it was burned.

“You stumbled into our trap. We thought you were some of the local raiders that have been plaguing the locals.” She extended a hand to him.

“Geez…” He quietly muttered to himself. 

He eyed her, especially that hand, finally having a chance to study her. She was about a head and a half taller than him, for starters. Never had seen a Hybrid so tall. She wore ADVENT armor; repurposed and repainted black and white. And that helmet was different. At a quick glance, it looked like a Stun Lancers helmet, but it was very different. It didn’t have that red ‘glass-like’ visor, instead an onyx curved piece took its place. Then he noticed this Hybrid had hair. White and brown hair. Hybrids didn’t have hair. This one had to be special as they also had psionics. Blue psionics. He thought he and Asaru were the only ones with that color. What were the Elders up to?

He finally noticed the symbol on the right side of her chest. Those wings and a star. Skirmishers. Ambushed by Skirmishers. His hunch was right. What were the chances? At least to was better than ADVENT.

“You guys set up one hell of an ambush.” He said gruffly. Just how troublesome were the local raiders for them to set this up? He finally took her hand and got up.

Just as he got up, the other Skirmishers were entering the main room, ushering in his people. They were all battered, highly confused, and ticked off. Manson was cursing out one Skirmisher in Persian. He had a dislocated right shoulder, and the Skirmisher was holding a very banged up Daedalus in their hands. Poor robot was letting out several pitiful beeps. No amount of “sorrys” was going to make the engineer calm down.

“>Sorry, boss,<” One Skirmisher in black armor came over to them, “>I missed their patches. I should have waited to give the signal.<”

“>It’s okay.<” She raised her hand to silence them. “>We already planned on taking any who entered alive for questioning. Thankfully, none were killed.<”

With that conversation over, she looked at each XCOM member. They were all pretty banged up. Cuts, bruises, and dislocated joints. At least none are dead. She then looked at Bradford. 

“Come back to our camp. Our medics can patch up any damage.” She offered. “And we have some supplies and intel we can share. Information on vulnerabilities to several outposts and some facilities nearby.”

“I think we should accept.” Asaru eagerly sent to Bradford. 

Bradford crossed his arms. An apology, of sorts. He wondered if he should accept it. They came out here for supplies and anything dealing with ADVENT. He would rather not leave empty-handed. And it would be best to keep the peace. Last thing Betos probably wanted to hear was some of her people attacking him. Hearing another curse from Manson as Yuri, with the help of one Skirmisher, popped his arm back into place had him leaning towards accepting it. A quick patch up would be a good idea. Probably would spend the night with them, depending on how long it took. And he and Asaru probably needed a rest after that draining to be on the safe side. They had their life back, but who knew what the lasting effects could be?

“Everyone needs to recover. We need to recover. And we have questions for this one. I feel like I know that.”

That familiarity Asaru was picking up, and Bradford felt like he was feeling it too. It would be best to investigate that. Hopefully, their Skirmisher host would be more than willing to chat.  

“We accept.”

————————————

“What’s your clan?” Bradford asked. 

As they were following the Skirmishers back to their camp, and were nearly there, he had been studying their armor, looking for identifying markers for one of the clans local from the area. So far, he was finding nothing.

“I know a few in this region that Betos has informed me of, but not seeing anything on you guys’ armor that says who you are.”

“We don’t exactly have a ‘clan’.” Bastion answered. He had come to know her as ‘boss’ or Bastion. She was still wearing her helmet even though her subordinates had removed theirs as a sign of friendship. Must have been secretive. He was half tempted to read her mind, but decided against it. Asaru also chided him, saying it would be a poor idea as this Hybrid was powerful. “We’re more nomadic.”

“She’s being truthful. I can sense that.” Asaru said in his mind.

“Huh.” That was interesting and odd. Even the more nomadic clans had a name. At least Asaru could pick up there were no lies.

“You can call us Twilight Drifters.“ Attis, the one in the black armor, butted in. Looked like she was Bastion’s right-hand woman. ”Boss is a bit hesitant about a clan name, but we all felt like having some sort of name was better than nothing!” She let out a hearty laugh as she smacked Bastion’s back several times. Bastion grunted with each hit. She turned her head. The corners of her lips were twitching as they slowly turned into a frown. That just got another laugh out of Attis and there others joined in.

“Here we are.” Bastion said as she moved some brush out of the way. The camp was active. It was a series of cabins deep in the woods they had taken over to be their base of operations for the time being. A mix of Hybrids, some humans, and aliens were moving about and working.

“Attis. Turel. Get them to the medics.” Bastion instructed. “And Hol’tul and Ermes get the intel from Varkner and his crew. And get some food scrounged up and sleeping quarters prepped for our guests, just in case. ”

“Yes, boss.” They nodded and went about their duties. Attis and Turel were already barking out orders to the others to alert the medics as they led Bradford’s crew away.

“You,” she pointed at Bradford, “follow me.” She started heading over to one cabin off to the right.

He raised a brow, but shrugged. Probably had something to tell him. His ears only. 

“Keep tabs on the others and be prepared for anything.” He sent to Asaru.

“Being cautious?” Asaru replied with a slightly teasing tone. Bradford rolled his eyes.

“Have too. That familiarity comment from earlier has me both curious and worried. Kinda feeling it too, but concerned.”

“Yes… right. I still can’t shake the feeling I know them.” 

He soon followed Bastion.

————————————

After they entered the cabin, Bastion locked the door. Didn’t need their conversation being disturbed.

“Hm.” Bradford looked around. Looked to be her quarters and the situation room all in one. A bed shoved into a corner and then several maps plastered on the walls, along with photographs and various weapon crates, spread about. Reminded him of rougher times before he found the surviving remnants of XCOM. He didn’t miss them.

“Again, I’m sorry for the injuries my people caused to your people.” She as said as she headed over to a table. She placed her rifle on the table and started taking off her armor. The gauntlets were the first things to come off.

“It’s fine.” Bradford said. Well, it was to a point. But he could ignore it. They were still alive. “Just one hell of an ambush. How the hell did you hide from our sensors?” He was curious about that.

“Psionics.” She raised her hand, forming that very energy into an orb. “I can deaden our life signatures. Makes us untraceable to most sensors. Usually takes a strong psionic to pick up something is wrong.” With that, she let the orb disappear. “Though, somehow, you and one of your men noticed.”

“Strong psion indeed.” Asaru noted.

“Huh.” He wondered if Sectoids could do that. That could be a potential headache. Something to note for the future. Especially if ADVENT started fielding Hybrids with psionics. “We just smelled salt. Sea salt. Like there was an ocean nearby.” He still found that strange. “And…” He paused for a moment to raise his hand. Should I?

“You sure about that?” Asaru was hesitant.

“Want to stay in her good graces and gauge her reaction.” He sent back. A second later, he formed a few orbs in his hand, shifting them between his fingers. Just as blue as hers. “I’m a bit of a psion myself, and my man, Yuri, is a budding one.”

Bastion gazed at him as he displayed his powers. Studying him with great intent. “Hm.”

How he wished he could see the face behind the mask. She was good at hiding her emotions.

Just as she pulled off her last bit of armor, she felt woozy. Body wobbling for a moment before her legs gave out. She barely caught herself with the table, hands slamming down to stabilize herself.

“Dammit.” She grumbled under her breath.

Bradford raised a brow. He dashed over to her and helped her back up. “You alright?”

“It’s… complicated.” She grunted. She was out of of breath. “Thanks.”

“You need a medic?” He noticed she still looked pale. She shook her head.

“They can’t really help me.” Another grunt slipped out as she leaned on the table. She looked around until her eyes fell on something. “Can you bring that capsule over to me, please?” She pointed at a cylindrical device.

He fetched the capsule and handed it to her. She thanked him again as fiddled with it. The thing lit up in hexagonal panels that suddenly spun out. A white mist poured out of it. And something glimmered inside of it. She pulled out what looked to be a black crystal about the size of his thumb and sealed the capsule. The crystal had a blue shimmer when the light passed through it.

She gripped the crystal tightly in her hand and channeled her psionics. There was the sound of cracking until a loud snap was heard. Black, blue, and red liquid seeped from her hand. She opened her hand. The crystal was shattered, revealing the liquid came from with in it and a few shards had pierced her skin. Before a single drop could fall, the liquid retreated into those cuts; discoloring her hand to a pitch black. She took in a sharp breath as her body shuddered as the discoloration traveled up her arm. Just as quick as it came, the discoloration disappeared back to a brownish-red. But she looked better. Her skin looked more lively, especially around her face. That paleness was fading.

“Okay…” Bradford wasn’t sure what he had just witnessed. More weird alien stuff. This Hybrid is special. 

“Hm. Something’s wrong with her.” Asaru said. 

“You think?” Bradford felt like that was obvious.

“Yes…” He responded in an annoyed tone. He knew it was obvious. “Reminds me of me and my damage. Just a familiarity I sense deep within her.” He continued. “And the energy from that crystal seems familiar… familiar from one of our dreams.” 

That made Bradford curious and concerned. He didn’t want to think of the unpleasant ones the both of them had been having as of late. A bunch of irritating and cryptic bullshit.

“Just who are you? What type of Hybrid are you?” He asked, pointedly. The question had been nagging at him for some time, and he wanted to cut to the chase.

“Hm…” She grimaced, turning away from him. Looked to be a sensitive subject. 

“Look, I don’t mean to—“

“No, it’s not that.” She interrupted him. “I don’t know how to put this…” She glanced over her shoulder. Looking at him for a few seconds before turning her head away. “I think I know you… and you know me.” As she said that, she began to remove her helmet.

“What?” That made no sense to him. He’d never met her or her group before. Nor did her name ring a bell from some operatives Betos had shared with them. And it was a long list. Just who were they?

“I wasn’t expecting this.” Asaru noted, growing more curious by the second. “Perhaps someone from our past, an operative turned Hybrid, but recovered their memories?”

“That is… possible.” That never even crossed his mind. He knew some Hybrids weren’t clone born, but most could never recall their past; just fragmented dreams. That was for the best.

They watched like a hawk, curious to see what she looked like underneath as that helmet came off. A Hybrid having hair was still a surprise to him. As she removed the helmet, he noticed a few oddities. She had ears. Hybrids didn’t have ears. Then there were no ports from what he could see or those surgical scar lines from them. And there should have been ports, as those helmets connected into them.

She set her helmet down on the table, took in a deep breath, and let out a sigh. Almost like she was hesitant to turn her face fully to him. But she finally turned.

“Long time no see, John.” There was a warmness to her voice as she said that. “Can’t believe you’re alive.”

John? He never told her his first name. Maybe from the probing earlier? “How the hell–“ But as she turned, he paused. Those features, she looked more human than the average Hybrid, but some genetic modification was evident. Eyes spaced further apart and a bit larger, a flared nose, and an odd gauntness to her face. Reminded him of one of the Chosen, but with a more human looking skin tone. But there was something about those features that looked too familiar to him. The freckles… Why was her voice familiar to him? 

“Impossible…” Asaru gasped in his mind. “It’s her…”

“What the… no…” Looked like the gears were turning in Bradford’s mind at the same time. He gasped. He knew her. They knew her. “Commander Reeves? Jynn?”

“In the flesh.” She gestured to herself, then outward.

“No. You can’t be…” No. That was impossible. Had to be. No way she could be the Commander they were searching for. No way this person was his missing best friend. In those dreams…. No. Nightmares. In those nightmares, he saw what she looked like. She was in terrible shape, a walking corpse. And here she was, not in that terrible state, but still equally concerning. 

“You can’t be her.” He shook his head. But he was moving closer to her. 

“It is her… I believe… I can sense it.” Asaru said. He was just as shocked at he was. But he was hesitant in his analyses, carefully scanning her being. Hidden tentacles reaching out. “She’s so… changed and… damaged. She doesn’t seem to be a clone… but that can be hidden, and I’m hesitant to do a deeper scan.”

“I am Jynn Gresham Reeves, Central Officer John Bradford.” There was a slight annoyance in her voice as she looked at him with hooded eyes. Saying his title and full name just a certain way seemed to make him snap too. It was her. But a sigh slipped from her lips. She could understand his disbelief. “Though… changed.”

He reached out to her, raising a hand towards her face, but he stopped. He quickly retracted his hand and turned away, covering his mouth. He tried his best to stifle his disbelief, his weeping. This can’t be her. But all those nightmares of her damaged and partially transformed appearance were playing in his mind.

She let out another sigh and shook her head. “John.” She placed her hand on his shoulder, but he pulled away. He couldn’t acknowledge her. He was barely acknowledging Asaru, who was trying to ease his emotions.

It was a minute or two before he turned to face her again. His eyes were bloodshot. Tears stained his cheeks.

“What the hell did They do to you?”

Jynn sighed. Them. She crossed her arms and looked away. 

“A lot of things.” She didn’t know where to start. “They nearly killed me several times with Their experiments as well as being the brains behind ADVENT. Tactical advisor running 24/7 nearly nonstop for several years. Really should be brain dead from all of that.”

“So that theory…” Asaru paused and sighed.

“So that theory is true…” Bradford voiced what Asaru said in his mind. He was thinking it too. He had been always a bit hesitant about that theory, but all the data they had been gathering, mind probing he and Asaru had been doing on captured Captains, and just how ADVENT worked leaned towards it being true. And he hated the idea of it being true, even if it meant she was still alive. 

 “Won’t be surprised if they have a clone of me running the system or some brain scan backup, but I see there has been some breakdown that’s been happening since I escaped.” She then tapped at her chin and looked off to the side. “Though Maker said that probably wouldn’t work due to several reasons.” Shaking her head, a dark chuckle slipped out. She could see the Elders frantically working to make the perfect replica of her, but falling terribly. But she soon sighed. 

“A clone? Hm… that may explain those discrepancies we’ve been picking up in the network off and on over the years.” Asaru noted.

“Great. Something else to investigate and deal with.” Bradford mentally grumbled.

“Raal’Maker…” There was a warmness to her voice as she uttered that name. “I have him to thank that I’m even alive. A rather benevolent Elder.” She still couldn’t believe there was a benevolent one in that Collective, and supposedly his mentor had the same mindset as him. Perhaps there were more levelheaded ones under his mentor. “He tried fixing the damage several times before they ripped me away from him again. Really, my health is still terrible.”

“Benevolent?” Bradford wanted to scoff. He recognized the name, but strongly believed none of those things were benevolent with what they did to the Earth.

“Trust me, he’s a good one out of Their mad Collective. Pretty much the only one who was truly concerned about my damn health.”

Health… Does she know about her split from Asaru? He rubbed his chin, nails picking at the prickly hairs, as he eyed her changed form. That paleness to her face was nearly gone. But her features. Her face looked to gaunt. “What about your health?” He almost didn’t want to ask, but he had to. 

“I can’t put this lightly….” She looked away from him. “I’m dying, John.”

“What?” He knew she was going to say that, but part of him was still in disbelief about the whole thing. She repeated herself, which made him look away. So that was happening, just like Asaru.

“Think she knows it’s because you two split?” He asked Asaru.

“She may… but you should ask. Pry a bit more.” He responded. He wanted to reach out to her, but was hesitant.Was she truly the Commander Reeves they were searching for? 

“Right…” He mentally sighed. Needing more gauging. He looked back at her. “Do you know why?”

“What the Elders have done to me…” She touched her face, pushing at her sharp cheekbones and the strange plating-like growths that lined them. “They’re careless. Tried turning me into a Chosen when I was still broken, even after Maker’s warnings.”

“What.” Now that… He wasn’t expecting to hear that. A Chosen. To imagine her as one of those abominations was impossible. But that’s why she looked the way she did. She had some of those familiar features akin to those deathless pests.

“Those fools.” Asaru hissed. Angered welled inside of him.

“A funny thing, almost a twisted irony of sorts. I’m more like Them. Parasites feeding on ‘lesser’ creatures to survive.” She shook her head and laughed. “Maker was right. Something like this would have happened.” She looked back at him. A pang of guilt entered her heart as she bit her lip. She fed on him. Could have gone too far and nearly killed him. But something about his energy was so good. “Sorry about draining you earlier. I try to incapacitate the head of the group first and was just a bit hungry.”

Bradford was about to say something, but quickly snapped it shut. He didn’t know what to say. There was a lot to process.

“At least that draining wasn’t instantaneous.” He cracked a joke. Mainly trying to cheer himself up. She chuckled at that, but soon sighed. “And there’s something else.” What else? He didn’t want to hear it.

Jynn raised her hand and let her psionics flow freely from her hand. It took on the shape of a thin, four armed humanoid creature. Looked kind of like the Elders. 

“I’m missing a part of me. Something happened that day they captured me at the base. I was connected to some being that was helping us. Guiding me.” She tried to explain. “When that Muton grabbed me… I disconnected to that being and haven’t been the same since.” She closed her hand and let the figure dissipate. “Even the Elders knew of whatever was connected to me. Called it the ‘Ascended One’ or something like that. Disappointed it was no longer connected with me when They started Their experiments and got me hooked up to their war machine. But They were still looking for it.”

“She knows.” Both he and Asaru thought at once. It was her.

He looked at the figure she made one last time before she let it disappear. Looked exactly like Asaru.

“I take it…” He paused, trying to find his words. Should Asaru reveal himself now? Both were conflicted about how they should do it. “I take it you’re looking for this thing?”

She nodded. “Been at it for a few years now. Why my group moves around a lot.”

He let out an exasperated sigh as he moved over to an open spot on the table and leaned onto it. He rocked back and forth.  This can’t be happening. But it was. Somehow, all of this was happening.

“So, what have you been up to?” Jynn switched topics, hoping that would soothe his mood. She didn’t want to dwell on the subject for any longer. Hated thinking about her poor state of health. “I see XCOM’s still alive in some capacity.”

“We’ve been fighting back.” He nodded. “And we’ve been looking for you.”

“Just like every other fact on this pl—“ Her ears and eyes perked up. “You’re been… you’ve been looking for me?”

“I didn’t believe you were dead for a second.” He looked at her. He still couldn’t believe it. “They captured you for a reason that day. And the information we found reinforced that… and then some dreams… visions I had.”

“Huh. Really?” She was surprised to hear that. Even more surprised when he said yes. She was touched. He still believed she was alive in this mad world and probably a few others. But the dreams comment was… strange. “How many thought you were crazy? Wasting resources looking for a ghost from the past?” She knew there had to be a good amount of doubters irritated with him and whoever else was insistent that she was still alive.

“A good handful.” He chuckled, shaking his head.

She laughed at that. She could only imagine his irritation at all of those who probably called him and the others crazy.

“Also…” She slowly stifled her laugh, clearing her throat for a moment. She looked at him from head to toe, eyes flashing blue for a second. “How long have you been a psionic?”

“Huh?” A question he wasn’t quite expecting, even though he had showed that off earlier. He was just about to ask her a question. Looked like that had to wait.

“How long have your been a psionic?” She repeated. “You showed me a little earlier and then when I pounced on you, I picked up on it, too. You even resisted me. Don’t recall any tests back in the day from Vahlen showed anything, but then again, we were all busy and I wanted all tests to be allocated to the soldiers.” Couldn’t waste resources on testing just any personnel. Her eyes fell, narrowing into a glare as she thought of the doctor’s eagerness. “And she really wanted to test me… makes me wonder what things would have been like if she did.” She grumbled under her breath.

“This may be the way to tell her.” Asaru said. “Maybe she sensed me and is hesitant to ask?”

“We’ll see.” Bradford replied.

Bradford cleared his throat. Where to start? How to start?

“It’s something… I acquired a few years ago.” He said. “The whole affair was a surprise, really.” Surprise was an understatement. That day was a massive headache, but a great boon to the Resistance.

“A semi-stress or trauma based awakening?” She asked. She knew those could be a nasty way of learning one had psionics.

“Not exactly.” He shook his head. The day was stressful. “I’m actually bonded to… a being. That’s how I have psionic abilities.”

She raised a brow. Did she hear that right? “Repeat that?”

“It’s best if we showed you.” He took a step back. “Asaru.”

As he stepped back, Asaru emerged from him. That tall, slender Ethereal floated towards her. His bulbed tendrils drew close to her, but hovered just a few inches from her body. She gasped at the sight, backing away slightly.

“Hello, Commander Reeves.” He said to her.

“You.” Just the very being she had shown Bradford minutes earlier. She reached out to him, touching his chest. Soft, slightly gelatinous like a jellyfish and almost like he wasn’t there. Like it was just air there with a hint of mass. In turn, he gently touched her arm. He was there, really there. She wasn’t seeing things. She could feel him and that energy felt so familiar.

Trembling eyes jumped between Bradford and Asaru. “What? How?” 

“It’s a long story, Jynn.” Bradford sighed. “Short story is my crew, I, and the Templars found him and the people that were protecting him a few years ago. I was the only viable host for him because of his damage. We’ve been bonded ever since.”

“Damage?” She had so many questions, but hearing that caught her attention.

“Our sudden separation damaged me.” Asaru said. “Damaged us both. Our bond ran deep.”

Jynn opened her mouth, ready to ask more questions, but closed it. She didn’t know what to ask first. Really, what could she ask first? She shook her head. The separation. She knew she was the reason behind for sudden separation that day. Those memories had become more clear overtime with her freedom. She recalled that she was growing more aware of Asaru as the War raged on. And the Ethereal didn’t stop that. No longer wanting to be a silent guide once the Elders were stepping up Their attacks. And then they captured one of Them. 

Just so much happened those happened weeks, if not days, before the base fell. The Elder they had captured and what they said. Many cryptic warnings, threats, and expositions. Somehow They had also sensed Asaru inside of her and were adamant that she turn herself over to the rest of the Collective immediately. She thought nothing of it at first until the same Elder and the others started plaguing her mind with unsettling nightmares. If she only knew what would come next after that interrogation killed that Elder.

She shook her head again, sniffling. Tears already forming.

“Gosh…” Some of her old Cajun accent began to slip out. That made Bradford raise his brows. He hadn’t heard that in a long time. “Gosh darn, I’m… I’m so sorry.” She shook her head. “I did this to the both of us.”

“It’s okay.” Asaru reassured her. Touching her face with one of his tendrils, followed by a hand. “You did not know that would happen. I did not know.”

“I… I…”

“Your quick thinking gave this world more time.” He hushed her. “If They had the both of us… things would be so much worse for this world and so many others. They would have Their own Mosaic.”

“Mosaic.” She growled at the mention of that word. What a horrible machine. So many, if not all, Zudjari enslaved by one of their own. Feeling an anger well up inside of her, she took a step away from him. “They’re still actively working on trying to replicate and ‘improve’ upon it. Mildly thankful that the Fragmenta they’ve tasked with replicating and restoring the Zudjari technology they’ve found have been purposefully dragging their feet.”

“Really?” Asaru wasn’t surprised by what the Elders were doing, but to hear the aliens there were working with were purposefully stalling the development of that infernal machine was interesting.

“Fragmen- what?” Bradford asked. An alien name he was unfamiliar with.

“Hard to describe them. Sapient pieces of metal, interstellar gas, cosmic dust, and who knows what else.” She answered. “They have an extremely thin truce with the Elders, but make their displeasure towards the known with every meeting. Feels like they want to kill the Elders.” She wondered how that truce still existed. Perhaps they were waiting for the right moment to break it and strike against the Elders.

“That’s… interesting.” He rubbed his chin. Aliens that hated the Elders, and these sounded fairly powerful if they had a ‘truce’ going on with the Elders. He wondered how their war went with the Elders… if they even had one. “Can we consider them friendlies… to a point?”

“I’d consider them allies. The only Elder they seem to like working with is Raal’Maker.” She shook her head, but chuckled. It always came back to him. “Also his mentor and those under his mentor. Oh! And one more pleasant Elder, a part of the Earth occupation. Her name is A’Va’pur. Probably another reason why the Earth’s environment isn’t totally screwed over.”

“Another ‘benevolent’ Elder?” He questioned.

“‘Benevolent’ Elders?” Asaru added. Bradford still didn’t believe that was possible.

“Trust me. Despite everything the current sept occupying Earth has done, the ones I spoke of are quite nice.” 

“That is interested.” Asaru tapped at his “chin”. “She speaks the truth. I sense it and so can you.” Asaru picked up no lie from her. Bradford sighed.

“If you say so.” He had to see it to truly believe it, though he could feel the same thing as Asaru.

“So what was that crystal?” Asaru asked. He hovered over to that canister that contained that strange crystal she used earlier. A tendril touched it.

She looked over at him. “Something Raal’Maker supplies me with.”

“You’re still in contact with that, Elder?” Bradford asked, surprised to hear that. She nodded.

“Raal’Maker and I have distant contact.” She said “He provides me that,” she pointed at the canister, “when he can. And some other gear. Lots of dead drops. His brethren as watching him like a hawk. They believe he may have a hand in my escape. He didn’t.”

“Exactly what is it?” Asaru was curious. It had a strange energy to it. Almost as it had a form of sentience to it. Benevolant… and malevolent. 

“The crystalized blood of the Weavers is what he told me.” She said. “Something about it can sustain me for a while.”

“Another group of aliens?” Bradford asked. She nodded.

“A nickname given to them by other species they’ve interacted with. A benevolent bunch that helps others. Kind of like you and your species, Asaru.” She tapped her lip. “I think I remember Maker mentioning your kind and them have met before on good terms.”

“Really?” That was interesting. He longed to meet more of his kind. Now, he really wanted to meet this Maker. “But…” He looked back at the canister and then her. A few tendrils reached out to her. “I sense a… malevolence in this blood. That very malevolence courses through your veins.”

Her mouth pulled back into a grimace. She looked away. “That…”

Bradford raised a brow. He moved closer to the both of them.“What is it?” 

“Let me show the both of you.”

She reached up to her collar of her under armor and pulled it down. From the chin down, her skin was black. An unnatural black. Like something had charred it black. And there was something else. Eyes. Sharp blue eyes that looked like tattoos were near the center of her neck. Four in total. But there were some others on her neck where more eyes could be, except they were closed.

“Goodness…” Asaru hesitantly reached out to her.

“What the hell…” Bradford moved closer to get a better look at it.

“A gift from my ‘benefactor’. A Weaver of questionable morality and methods.” She questioned if she could even call it that. “Something the Elders fear and it equally hates Them for some transgression They committed against it… him… I don’t know. And then several other species They’ve screwed with his ‘friends’ with.” She shook her head. “Feels pity for me for what They’ve and has helped stabilize my form to a point… against my permission.”

This Weaver hated the Elders? At first, Bradford thought they may have had another ally until she continued to describe this being. Sounded like she didn’t like it. Trusted them even less. 

“How does this connect with the crystalized blood?” Asaru asked. A pair of his tendrils were touching the marks on her neck. 

“Somehow, his blood is mixed in with the other Weavers. The Weavers as a whole are deeply connected to one another. Raal’Maker does his best to filter it out, but he can’t get rid of it all.”

“So this ‘benefactor’… this ‘benefactor’ helped you?” Bradford asked next.

She nodded. “He helped stabilize my health and reverse a good amount of damage that was done… with what he had to work it… And he’s made more offers to heal the damage, but I don’t trust him. I’ve refused them.” She really didn’t trust it, though its words were sweet and soothing. “The Elders fear it for a reason, though They’re not innocent from Their crimes.”

He picked at his lip as he listened. This being had the ability to heal her, but only so much. And was making offers to heal her, but with a catch with what she said. “I take it this being is still making offers?” She sadly nodded.

“He’s patient… Scarily patient… The offers haven’t stopped.” She shook her head again; arms tightly wrapping around herself. “Sometimes… Some days… I’m tempted to accept them just to be me again. Human once more.” It was such a dangerous temptation, and she had a feeling if she accepted, something terrible would befall her.

“Damn, Jynn…”

How long had she been suffering? Living such a tortured existence? A cosmic plaything from the sound of it. This is so much worse than his fears of finding her in some lab dissected like some animal and… hopefully dead. 

He reached a hand out to her. Out to her neck to get a better look at himself, but retracted his hand. Instead, he stepped forward and hugged her. Hugged her tightly. He felt like it was the better idea. Felt like she needed a good hug. Jynn froze, arms open and drawn back. She was hesitant to touch him. She had been waiting for this, but not so suddenly. A sigh came out as she wrapped her arms around him. Nestling her chin against his head as tears streamed down her face.

Asaru drifted away from the two, wanting to give them some space. He could sense their shaky emotions. And a deep turmoil and conflicting within Bradford. That love he had for her. It would be interesting to see if he ever brought it up. He wondered how they would tackle that. For the time being, he looked around the room. Especially towards the map and intel she had pinned on the wall.

During the time, she looked at his features. How the years and stress had aged him. She wondered if the scar on his cheek came from the day the base was attacked. Probably wasn’t his only scar from that day and over the years. She ran his fingers through his hair a few times. Seemed like he didn’t mind. In fact, seemed like he welcomed it with the happy “hm” that slipped out. It surprised her to see him let his hair grow a bit, but he had an odd haircut going on. Partially shaved, starting just above his ears.

“About the hair…” She said, breaking the silence. Fingers toying with the little ‘tuft’ of hair. “Interesting cut.”

“Felt like letting it grow out.”

“But the partial shave?” She asked next, fingers feeling the border between the shaved and non-shaved side. He just shrugged. He didn’t really have an answer.

“Huh.” She just chuckled. “The little tuft is cute.” She flicked it.

“I have to ask…” Bradford said, pulling his face back to look at her. There was a question nagging at the back of his mind. Why hadn’t she reached out to XCOM? “Sounds like you’ve been free of the Elders for some time and been running with the Skirmishers for a while…” His voice trailed off, wondering how he should touch the subject. He shook his head. No scratch that. The answer is obvious. “Scratch that question…”

“What’s the question?”

“No, no, no…” He shook his head again. “The answer is obvious why you never contacted us. Never contacted XCOM. What’s happened to you. How you look.” He could barely imagine how that would have gone, especially if they didn’t have Asaru. Probably a hefty amount of disbelief. Part of him was still in that territory. 

She sighed hearing that. He was perceptive. “That’s exactly why… and then I didn’t know if it was being run by survivors or just a bunch of bandits stealing the name. I’ve run into quite a few of the latter.”

“Ugh… tell me about it.” He hated those bandits the most. They already had to deal with the doubters who thought XCOM was a part of the Council and Earth’s leaders that sold out the Earth to the aliens when they were betrayed by them. That was a headache with the Reapers’ for the longest until Volk finally straightened things out. “Having to clear XCOM’s name in some regions is a pain in the ass.”

“I can only imagine the trouble.” She chuckled. 

The two continued to stay in each other’s arms. Bradford eventually brought his hands went up to her face to examine her features. This new form twisted by the Elders. Like the Chosen, but a proto-form of sorts. But there were so many familiar features. Those freckles. It was her, but… she was so changed. And dying. He ran his fingers down her jawline, expecting to feel any remnants of pulled ports under the skin, something some Skirmishers did once they were freed. But there was nothing. It was smooth, besides that wrinkled skin that reminded him too much of Dhay-Vol’s, the Warlock, face. Why did she have to look like them?

 She seemed unfazed by him doing that. Almost expecting him to do that. She welcomed it. The touch of an old friend. His hands felt nice. A bit rough from calluses, but nice.

“At least they let me keep my freckles.” A little joke to lighten the mood. He chuckled for a moment before the sadness returned.

“Hmph.” He let out a snort, shaking his head. At least she could make a joke out of such a terrible thing. “How kind of Them.”

A question nagged at the back of his mind. Something she said earlier. They’re careless. Tried turning me into a Chosen when I was still broken, even after Maker’s warnings. Just why did the Elders risk doing such a thing?

“Why did the Elders do this?” He asked. She let out an annoyed snort.

“They wanted an asset and weapon in more ways than one.” She explained. “XCOM was coming back. What better way than to have the leader of said group be the one to crush it?” The Elders enjoyed doing that. The Hunter was a fine example of that. A Reaper turned against his own kind. “Kon-Ris…” She shook her head. There was sadness in her voice. She pitied him. “They don’t care if they have to break you to remake you. Even when one of their brightest advises against it.”

“…Why.”

Hearing that just hurt him deeply. To imagine, if she was still in Their clutches, she would be one of those Chosen. Having to fight an old friend for Earth’s freedom. How would have that gone? What would they have done if they had learned of her identity? What would he have done?

As he continued studied her features, he felt another pang in his heart. The woman he loved had been tormented by those Elders. And despite seeing her like this, he still loved her. He dropped his hands down to her shoulders. Head lowering, gaze fixed on the ground, as he dug his fingers into her shoulders. She sigh and patted his back. She hadn’t let go.

“I never got to tell you…” He paused, hesitant to continue speaking. 

Should he tell her? This could be my only chance. She is dying. How long will she live if this can’t be fixed?

Asaru turned his attention towards him, sensing what was about to do. “Careful now. Steady yourself.”

“Tell me what? John?” She noticed something glisten, falling to the floor. Tears again. They must have been flowing. 

He tightened his grip again as he took in several shaky breaths. He raised his head. Those tears were flowing, just streaming down his face. 

“That I love you.” He finally said it. Fighting off any hesitation that wanted to come through. Felt like an enormous weight was taken off his chest.

She blinked once. Then twice. Eyes darted around, landing on Asaru, who quickly turned away, before focusing back on him. He looked serious. Did she hear that correctly?

“W-w-what?”

“I love you, Jynn.” He repeated himself. More confidence in his voice. “I’ve had these feelings since we were teenagers.” Sometimes he wondered how she never noticed it back then, but she was rather oblivious to guys flirting at her kin high school. “Just kept it under wraps when we met again because of the Invasion. Couldn’t have them getting in the way. Kept it strictly business.” 

“Uh…” Her mouth hung open. She wasn’t sure how to respond to that. This was a revelation to her. Her lack of response did not surprise him. Probably not the best time to tell her, but he needed to get it off his chest.

“I am such an idiot…” She let out an exasperated sigh.

“Huh?” Not the response he was expecting.

She shook her head and smacked her forehead with her palm. “My mother was always the one to point out guys that had a crush on me and I’d just ignore her. She did the same with you!”

“Really?” He asked, holding back a snort in-between sniffles. She nodded.

“Hell!” She smacked herself again. “Explains why my dad was fine with me hanging out with you so much and inviting you on trips.”

“Really?” Another surprising detail. He and Mr. Reeves had a friendly relationship, but he found her father to be a rather intimidating person when he was younger. “He did scare me.” 

“Seriously?” She held back a snort.

“To a teenager, a military man like him was very intimidating.”

She thought for a moment. A snort slipped out. “You’ve got a point there.”

Eventually, after the declaration, Bradford pulled away from her. Almost having to pry himself from her grasp. He didn’t want to move away, but he needed to breathe. Just so many thoughts and emotions were going through his head. He paced around the cabin as he rubbed his face. 

At least she didn’t negatively react to me sharing my feelings. He was happy that didn’t sour the mood.

As he paced, he looked around the room. Eyes falling onto the maps, photos, and blueprints that Asaru was looking at. One photo had a big red circle around it and a quick note scribbled next to it that said “SEND TO BETOS”.

Betos.

“So how long have you been with the Skirmishers.” He asked. He had stopped in front of the photo that had the note. He noticed another photo circled and an arrow pointing to a location. And another note saying, “SCOPE OUT MORE. HIGH SECURITY. HIGH PRIEST IS HEAD OF SECURITY. MAY BE THE PLACE. WILL NEED BACKUP. KEEP IT STEALTHY.”

“About five years or so.” She said. “Still not fully one of them, to be honest.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, how I’m more nomadic for staters and I’ve never told Betos my identity.” She explained. “She never pressed me again once I told her it was for my safety and hers if she never knew it. Last thing I need is the Chosen knowing who I’m with. Especially Jax-Rai.” 

She and her group had far too many close calls with the Assassin. She was thankful Jax-Rai never used her psionics like Dhay-Vol. Would have figured out who she was ages ago, but thankfully her identity was still hidden from them. But she piqued their collective interest. A psionically capable ‘hybrid’ was running around with the Skirmishers. That caused a new set of problems for her.

“Those things.” He grimaced. He had received some intel from the other factions that those three were hunting something for the Elders, but they didn’t know what. The information was always classified on another Network they had no clue of how to reach. Now he knew it was her.

“It’s amazing you’ve managed to avoid them for so long.” Asaru said.

“They’ve been annoying.” Which was an understatement. “I avoid Dhay-Vol the best I can. Trying to hide my psionic signature when he’s on his hunt is nerve-wracking.” She hated him the most. Had to fry his brain on a few occasions just to escape. Somehow, he was still oblivious to her identity. Should have picked up her psionic signature from her attacks. But maybe her benefactor, that Voice, was hiding it? That thought crossed her mind many times. He could have altered her signature ever so slightly to aid her.

 “Jax-Rai is a pain and I think I’ve pissed her off with how much my people and I have escaped. And we’ve bested her a few times… .” She shook her head, but chuckled. “Though I think she enjoys the chase. Exhilarating is how she’s described it.” Such an odd comment to receive after besting her. “Kind of like her brother, Kon-Ris. Though not as mad…” She bit her lip. “Hunter… I feel like he’s figured out who I am… but is keeping it secret for some reason.”

Bradford couldn’t imagine the amount of stress she was under, having to hide from those three. But her comment about the Hunter interested him. The wildcard of the siblings.“He’s figured you out?”

“Think so. Said a few things he shouldn’t know about me. Enjoys calling me Gresham and brings up XCOM a lot.”

“That’s interesting…” Asaru noted. 

“And he hasn’t told the others or the Elders?”

“Hates his siblings and hates the Elders even more… Probably some part of his brain blocks the info from the Elders.” She was curious how They hadn’t picked that detail up yet. “He’s always been a wildcard for the Elders after an incident with the Reapers happened that made him more flippant. Why he hunts ADVENT and aliens too.”

“We’ve noticed that a few times.” Asaru said. “He is an interesting one. Almost as if he has a split personality.”

“I believe he does, literally.” Jynn said. “I’ve heard several voices in his head. Mostly the Elders, but there’s this small voice. Crying for help. Trying to remember who he was. I believe that may be the old him.”

“Huh.” Both Asaru and Bradford responded. Something to look into later. Questions from Volk.

“So what’s this? Noticed Asaru staring at this intently.” Bradford pointed at the photo with the note of wanting to scope out some facility with high security. And the photo showed that. There were standard Troopers and MECS all over the place.

“The possible clone.” Asaru said as he shifted his attention back to the photo and intel.”

“Hm?” She went over to see what he was pointing at. “Oh that. Yes, I have a feeling that’s where they may have my clone or ‘backup brain’ running. Want to take it out. Disrupt their tactical information Network again.”

“Ah.” Bradford simply nodded. He would have to ask about that in greater detail another time. Still couldn’t believe that theory was true. Explained how ADVENT worked like a well-oiled machine since they were founded.

“So, when’s the raid happening?” He asked.

“Still in the works. Have to scope it out more and request backup from the local Skirmisher clans.” She shook her head. “Though I want to keep it stealthy as possible. Don’t want them teleporting the asset and any other backups out of the place before we get to it.”

“Hm.” Smart. He knew he had some facilities he had people scouting. Get as more information as you can before striking. But there was always a risk. He thought for a moment as he rubbed his chin. “Well, you could… join us. Join XCOM.” He suggested. “We’d be glad to back you up. Glad to have you back.”

Asaru looked at him when he said that. He was thinking of them making the offer, but was unsure, sensing a deep unease within Jynn about her current form.

She blinked a few times as her eyes went wide. Both brows raised high. He has to be kidding. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. 

“XCOM is your home.”

“John…” She wasn’t sure of that anymore.

“Our medical team may be able to help you.” He almost sounded desperate as he said that. “Hell, the Templars may be able to help you! You and Asaru need to re-bond!”

It was a tempting offer, and the latter was true. She could sense they both needed that, but she wasn’t so sure.

“What will your people think of me?” She asked. “Is there anyone there besides you that knows me?”

“Corvo Samaras.” He quickly responded. As if he was prepared for that question. “He was one of the training officers that moved between the bases fairly frequently. Got nicknamed the ‘slave master monk’ by most of the recruits.” 

After naming him, he started naming more. Soldiers, doctors, engineers, and other staff that had survived the downfall of all the bases. She covered her mouth as she listened to him. But from her trembling eyes betrayed her. She recognized several of the names.

“So many of you… so many of you guys survived.”

“And we’re still finding more as the years pass by.” He smiled. “Most haven’t given up the fight. They’ve been eager to join up with us.” He chuckled. “And you’ll be surprised with who’s running the Templars.” Mentioning that made his smile grow into a grin. That was still a surprise that day. He still wanted to get Geist for being cryptic for all those years.

“Yes, that was quite the surprise. He hasn’t changed much.” Asaru agreed.

She looked away, bitting her lip. Join them? It was such a tempting offer. XCOM was her home. But so much had change. She had changed. “But what will they think of me?” That was something he didn’t want to think about, but knew it would be a problem.

“I know some back on the ship will be hesitant. Some won’t agree…” He knew several were still quite anti-alien; including Hybrids. And some still questioned his bond with Asaru. They were barely tolerant of the Skirmishers and any aliens that had defected. Given the opportunity, they would kill them. It was rough keeping that from happening with some meetings and joint missions.

Sensing his mind drift off to the darker parts, Asaru placed a hand on his shoulder. Bradford glanced at him and nodded. He needed that. Needed to stay positive. 

“But you…” He gestured to her. “You’re alive.“ He felt like that was the only thing that mattered. “I don’t think I can let this chance meeting be a secret… Can’t just suddenly drop the search for you. Some will question that.”

He had a point there.

“I don’t know.” But she was unsure. She turned away, taking a few steps away from the both of them. “I have to think about it.”

He reached out to her, but stopped himself. “Just think about it.”

“But I must ask… which part of you is asking this?” She glanced over her shoulder. “That military side of you? Or the part that loves me?” That declaration was still on her mind.

He looked away, closing his eyes. He placed on his chest and clutched it. “Both.” He couldn’t lie. He didn’t want to lose her again.

“Hm.” She looked at Asaru, who only nodded, confirming what he said. That’s… concerning. But made sense. It just made her leery. And something else bothered her. More personal.

She paced around the room as she mulled over his offer. It was so tempting, but she had her worries. But she also knew she and Asaru needed to re-bond at some point. She could sense he was doing fine with Bradford, hovering in some sort of stable condition, but there was still that lingering damage to him. It made her heart hurt.

 And then what would her people think? She couldn’t just leave them behind. She shook her head. Like they would let that happen. They would follow her to the ends of the Earth, no matter what. They told her that on several occasions. Swearing their loyalty to her despite her protests. They were beyond grateful that they were free of the Elders’ enslavement.

She looked back over at them. Both had busied themselves with looking at the intel and discussed some things.

“Maybe…” She muttered as she went back over to him. “Maybe I can join… rejoin XCOM. My people and I can join you all.”

“Hm?” Both glanced over their shoulders. Looked like they were deep in thought. It took both a moment to process what she said. “Would they be fine with that?”

She nodded. “My people are flexible. Practically have sworn their loyalty to me. They listen to me first before listening to Betos.” That was a headache, but somehow they worked around it.

“That is interesting, but XCOM can always use more people.” Asaru chuckled.

“Huh.” Bradford nodded. Looked like she never lost her commanding skills. That made him smile. “Have to figure out the logistics, but we can always use more people. Though integrating more Hybrids is going to be interesting.”

“And there’s always that…” Asaru shook his head. That was a constant headache, no matter what.

“Guess we’ll just have to see what happens when you introduce us to everyone.”

“Right.” He said, then sighed. “Think I need to send a warning first so a few of the levelheaded staff can help me. Got a radio I can borrow?”

“That sounds smart. And yes, we do.”

  Bradford looked at his watch, then over to the window. Through the slits of the curtain, he could see the sun disappearing behind the trees as the sky darkened. He let out a yawn before rubbing his temples. Looks like the effects from the ambush were finally kicking in.

“Think we may be staying for the night.” Was probably for the best. Never fun trekking through a forest in the night. Anything could happen.

“It would be wise to do so. We need to recover.” Asaru said.

“Sleeping quarters should be prepared for you all by now.” Jynn said. “And we should have plenty of food to go around.”

“Thanks for the generosity.” And he meant it.

“It’s what we do.” She smiled.

“Back to joining… rejoining XCOM… I would like to snuff out the local raiders before leaving. A bunch of psychopaths.” She said. A hiss slipped out as she wrinkled her nose. The world was already hard to live in with ADVENT running things, and some people just had to make it worse. No ounce of empathy. No sense of remorse. Everyone was fair game as they pillaged any camp, haven, or ‘authorize’ settlement they came across. Especially the weak. “Also, I’m waiting for some of my people to return from supply runs. Should only be a few more days.”

“I think we can help with that and we won’t be leaving this region for a while, so we can wait on those supply runs.”

“Sounds likes a plan.”

She then gently patted his back a few times before heading to the door.

“And Asaru.” She turned to him. In a way, she couldn’t believe he was there. She was so happy she no longer had to search for him.

“Yes?”

“I know we need to re-bond, but I don’t think we can do that anytime soon.” She sighed. “I feel like we’ll only hurt each other further. A downward spiral of draining will occur.”

“I also sense that.” He nodded. “I believe we’ll need a medium to facilitate the bond… but also your body needs to be healed.” A few tendrils touched her body. “Your conversion, barely at the halfway mark… I question if this can be undone or should it be allowed to finish…” And he didn’t like the idea of it being finished. A new form forced onto her by the Elders.

“Maker believes he may be able to reverse this…” And she prayed he could. “If not,” she tried to hold back a sigh, but one slipped out, “he has selected a few species that would best suit me to complete this transformation and purge the Elder DNA from my system. Right now, he’s trying his best to get the heat off of him so we can properly meet.” She wondered how long that would take. “Though he has his worries about how the process may go.”

Bradford closed his eyes tightly, hearing what she said. The chance of her condition being unreversible tore at him and hoped it could be done. “Is he worried about lasting damage affecting the process?” Bradford asked.

“That’s one thing, and then one of the methods he’ll be using.”

“What would that be?” Asaru asked, curious.

“He’s been cagey about it, but I think it deals with the blood of the Weavers and their DNA. And I understand why… But I’m willing to take the risk.”

“Really?” Bradford questioned, with a hint of worry in his voice.  “Are you sure?”

“I just want to be me again. Not some abomination of a weapon of the Elders.” She shook her head. “Hell… hell… I’ll take another Hybrid form that doesn’t have Their touch and broken DNA.”

“Hm…” He was worried, but it would be a discussion for another day.

“Now,” she clasped her hands tightly and forced a smile, really wanting to change the subject, “let’s get your current crew updated on who I am and what’s going on.” She then unlocked the door. “And then go from there.”

He nodded and followed. Asaru merged back with him. “It’s going to be interesting telling them. Laney may remember you. She’s another soldier that spent most of her time in the main HQ.”

“Laney?” The name didn’t ring a bell.

“Laney Stavros. She was a medic. Still is a medic.” 

“Still doesn’t ring a bell.”

“Maybe seeing her face should jog some memories.”

“Maybe.” Hopefully it would do the trick. There was a glimmer in her eye. She was somewhat excited to meet a survivor from the old base.

“Also…” She paused as she opened the door. “We’re going to have to talk about this… love… thing.” He was waiting for that.

He nodded, a small sigh slipped out. “I know.”

“It could become quite troublesome when I rejoin and th—“

“I know.” He cut her off. He knew the risks. “I’ll try to push it to the side, but…” He paused, sighing as he looked away for a second. He turned back and looked her in the eyes. “I don’t want to lose you again. Okay?”

Her brows scrunched together, part of her lips turned into a grimace. “Hm.” Her eyes flashed blue for a second. She was picking up a lot of strong emotions from him. And a lot of conflicting ones. “Yes… And you still feel this way, especially after seeing how I am now?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation in his voice.

She closed her eyes and huffed. What to say? She didn’t know what to say.  Now she was feeling conflicted. She felt something deep inside of her. Almost as if she felt the same way towards him, but wasn’t so sure. That part of her was a mess already. And then her current state of health wasn’t helping. She couldn’t reciprocate those feelings… for several reasons. 

She sighed deeply, closing her eyes tightly. “I want to drink, but can’t.” Damn Hybrid makeup.

“Jynn, no.” He put a hand on her back. “I know the feeling, and that leads nowhere good. Trust me.” That was a hard habit to break, and he still needed to be careful. “And then your Hybrid make up. Alcohol oxidizing into formic acid. Go blind and die. Give or take some steps.” He shook his head, remembering that being explained to them. Just how much of it was a side effect of how the Elders built the Hybrids or did They do it on purpose as a control method. He was leaning towards the latter. “Thooooough”, he extended that for as long as he could as he leaned closer, “some of our resident chemistry majors may have figured out something Hybrids can imbibe in. It has become a rather lucrative bargaining item.” What some would do in their spare time… and for love.A snort slipped out from her. “Well… we’ll discuss this later. All of it.” Her voice trailed off as she continued out the door.

“Understood.” He nodded and followed. “I’ll hold you to it.”

“Don’t make me regret it. All of this.” Though she didn’t feel like she was going to. This all felt like a new start, that light shining, burning through the depths of an ensuring darkness.

He chuckled. “I can’t promise anything. Just don't count your chickens before they hatch.” A yelp slipped out. Eyes flashing a quick blue, she gave him a slight shock of energy.

“Jerk.” She was grinning.

“Missed you.”

“Missed you too.”

[mariuscomehome]

//minor spoilers for marius character story chapter 2!!! and luke's chapter 2 as well oops

i was going to reblog this onto the moron post i made in the early hours of this morning but it quickly grew way beyond my original intentions, so im annexing it. i promise there's a funny conclusion just give it a little time !! why are there so many words ;-;

that post came about because i was thinking about nxx group dynamics, particularly marius (BIG SURPRISE LOL) and how from what we know of him he doesnt seem to have many close friends. if any. his schedule is incredibly packed from school, running pax, nxx investigations, and his own art, and we know he isn't getting enough sleep, (yknow what zak made a great post analyzing the boys schedules here ya go) to the point that he considers giving up art to make time for his other responsibilities. there's no way he has a social life - i'm sure he did, but it would have been the first thing to go, to make room for everything else in his life. every mention of him attending a social event, iirc, has been directly related to some kind of business venture or obligation, unless he's hanging out with mc, who seems to be the only person he's able (or willing) to make that kind of time for.

which is something he has in common with luke, it seems. lol.

IM PUTTING IN A READMORE THIS POST IS TOO DANG LONG LOL

back to marius. i need to do some more research on the timeline, but my understanding is that he was studying overseas and got called back when giann went missing, one or two years ago? to run pax. (which is the official story, more likely to me is that it was completely voluntary as he wanted to look into his brother's disappearance - was he involved with the nxx before then? had he already met artem and vyn, or no? if anyone knows the answers to these questions please please tell me). so in all likelihood he's left his entire social circle in florence, come back to hang out in an office all day, and then go sit in a meeting with vyn, his tutor, and artem, who is eight years older than him. i'm sure normally they get along just fine, but when does marius get to be a kid? when does he mess around with people his own age? he doesnt.

enter mc, who is much closer to him in age, and who he doesn't hesitate to joke around with. she must be a huge relief to him. and he met her right before being accused of murder. can he not rest??

pivot. we're talking about luke now. it goes without saying that luke is, has been, and will be going through some pretty heavy shit, and mc is simultaneously a huge reprieve from that and a bludgeon that he uses to destroy himself emotionally at every single opportunity. the whiplash is insane he's like "haha this is great i'm in love with you and you are my best friend and i am going to die forever changing the trajectory of your life, hurting you and that's unforgivable and i should stay away from you but i can't because i'm a terrible selfish person- haha what's that? no i'm fine! how are you?" i hate him.

yeah so then it's like when does luke get a break? huh? we know he has aaron, who is really good for him and helping him work through his stuff, but his stuff is irreparably tied to his complex feelings about mc and his own mortality etc, etc, and also aaron is literally his doctor. every single one of their conversations is like "luke, try harder" "no. im gonna die soon." "you will with that attitude i will FIX YOU MYSELF, STOP BEING LIKE THIS." "..... still got that expiry date tho" like even the person who is arguably the best for luke's mental state, actually understands what is going on with him and is actively trying to help him at every opportunity to the point of literally robbing him and sending him on a.. scavenger hunt.... aaron what are you doing

luke literally cannot escape his issues. marius cannot escape his work. i think they should, (after spending enough time around each other to kind of figure each other out, become immune to the other's specific brand of annoying, stop being jealous at how effortlessly close the other is to mc- look it might take a little time) be friends, and find that kind of respite in each other, where their other obligations just aren't even relevant and they can just kind of let the facade fall away and do whatever. they're closer in age and they both need more time to be young and impulsive and have other people who they can do that with.

i think they should be stupid young men who do stupid things. they roughhouse. they both like... extreme sports? i think? they drink together. marius, who knows the perfect amount of wine to drink to get just tipsy enough at a work function. luke, who knows where to buy the best, cheapest beer. swapping beverages and immediately getting piss drunk and calling mc together to tell her that shes missing out, she should have come with them, boo, and its four in the morning and she only picks up because she woke up early to add six pages to a report thats due on artems desk at seven, and she still pretends to get annoyed at them but shes really just happy to see them getting along.

vyn, luke, and marius being left alone in the nxx meeting room for some reason. by the end of it, the table is broken clean in two. luke and marius both blame vyn, who asserts that he never touched that table, but doesn't directly disagree with them and offers to buy a new one. (HE'S SO OMINOUS....)

the new table has wheels so when marius and mc get to a meeting early, he tries to lean on it while he's flirting and ends up on his ass. he sprawls out on the floor and tries to keep going as though this was totally intentional (because mc is laughing and its worth it), but of course luke walks in and he gets soooo embarrassed.

let them be morons!!!

[blancamz]

“It’s Over Isn’t It” Reanimation progress

Honestly one of my favourite parts about animating is posting the WIPs online. Here’s the step-by-step of how I went about doing my reanimation for the end section of “It’s Over Isn’t It” from the Steven Universe episode Mr. Greg.

1) Idea and Prep

I was flicking through Steven Universe: Art & Origins. I think at the time I must’ve been between jobs or bored or something, because it came into my head to do a bit of animation based on the pilot style SU. I’ve always been quite fond of the pilot style, especially Pearl’s David Bowie / LaRoux look. The little tux design by Hellen Jo was quite snazzy as well, so I decided to have a go at doing a segment of “It’s Over Isn’t It”, using these designs.

I traced the turnaround from the book in Clip Studio Paint and approximated Jo’s design to it. At first I had the colour turnaround, but did the low-colour turnaround with the heads to give me a better idea of where the lines are and proportions of the body. I also get a clip of “It’s Over Isn’t It” and trim it down to the section I want to do.

This is a long one so strap in.

2) Sketch Pass

I’ll be using gifs that show the first 100-130 frames of the animation, because the full segment is 22 seconds long.

Very very loose animation of what I’m going to be doing with this segment, done in Adobe Animate. I have a video of the real segment in the corner of the stage and audio in the timeline, and closely reference them for layout and acting.

I’ve decided I want to go really nuts with the animation. Lots of angles on her face, smooth movement, secondary animation / follow-through on her various clothing elements. Technically her earring’s supposed to be on the other side but I want to animate that flailing around dangit, so I change it so it faces the camera.

3) Rough Pass

I tidy up the rough I did somewhat. It’s still very rough, but Pearl is better proportioned and the motion is more complete. I get a better idea of how she moves by focusing on drawing keys (the most important drawings) and breakdowns (drawings that help you figure out the motion a little bit, without full animation). I have Pearl, her suit, ruffles and earring on separate layers so I can turn things on and off or lower their opacity as needed.

4) Tiedowns

At some point between the rough and tie-down phase I realized that I’d been animating at 30fps instead of 25fps like I’d meant to, so I had to end up shifting all the roughs I’d been doing. Bad news: having to wrestle with getting the timings I’d so carefully planned out in the rough to still look good. Good news: I have to animate and clean up 5 fewer frames per second, so that’s 110 fewer drawings to worry about. Yussssss. For reference, the above clip has now gone from 132 frames to 107.

During the tiedown phase, I go over the roughs and more carefully try to match the proportions in the turnaround. I keep a flattened version of the first frame of animation to use as reference thoughout to prevent morphing. Sometimes when you’re animating, things will get bigger or small as you re-draw them, so it’s good to have a base drawing to refer back to and make the sizes stay consistent.

At this point I’m way more aware of reasons behind the big design change for Pearl between the pilot and the show. She’s so dang skinny and tall with that extra poof of hair up top that she’s really annoying to frame up. If you want to keep all of her in the frame, there’s going to be tons of empty space.

I also find that my turnaround isn’t enough reference for Pearl’s awkwardly-shaped head. I snap me a bunch of screenshots of pearl’s head from different angles and collate them into a big sheet.

5) Inbetweening

Inbetweening, aka filling out all the gaps in the timeline between the keys and breakdowns. If you’ve done your keys and BD’s well, inbetweening can be a pretty straight-forward.

But I’ve got like a million bits of secondary animation to content with, which means this still takes a significant amount of time. The hair and ruffles have to move a little later than the rest of the body, and some parts of the ruffles have to move at a different rate from the rest. I’m trying to animate like there’s wind since Pearl’s on top of a tall building. I keep animating until it feels good enough.

This is what my timeline and stage look like in Animate by this point. The animation is mostly on 2s, with some 1s, 3s and 4s thrown in when needed.

6) Cleanup and Colour

I did the cleanup in Toon Boom Harmony. As a program, I like it was more than Animate, even though it isn’t without it’s flaws. But it’s also really dang expensive. Fortunately, by this point I’d been working on the upcoming Deadendia series for Netflix. What with the pandemic, we were working from home and the studio gave me a license for Toon Boom. So I exported my frames from Animate, put ‘em in TB and started cleaning up.

I’ve found that cleanup is something that’s often offloaded to new or less experienced artists at studios because blah it’s just tracing the rough animation. But you’ve got good cleanup and bad cleanup, and a good cleanup artist will compensate for flaws in volume and have a good, clear and natural line.

I’m not terribly fond of doing cleanup myself. I feel I tend to end up rushing, which leads to sloppy work. I tried really hard to keep up a standard here.

7) Comping

a.k.a. Compositing, the final layering of the various elements before exporting a film. Another stage I don’t quite care for because of its nuances. Also drawing backgrounds.

I admit that I’m not very good at drawing backgrounds or environments. I tried to do the one for the second shot of this animation, since it was acutally really important. In shots 1 and 3, you don’t really see the ground or even the railing that Pearl is leaning on, but 2 is a wide shot. My first attempts at it were unfortunate. Fortunately my husband @joe-sparrow is both good at backgrounds and good at imitating the style and colour palette of the show. He volunteered to do the BGs and I accepted. See mine vs. his:

So yeah, get me some nice backgrounds, put the animation on top, then fiddle with a couple of elements in the comp to give things a little bit more depth. During this stage, errors that had happened during the animation progress that I hoped would just go away became annoyingly obvious, so there was a fair bit of going back to fix them.

So that’s how I done made this animation. I started April 2018 and posted in on January 1st 2021, so that’s over 1.5 years it took me to do these 22 seconds of animation. However, I wasn’t working on it continuously through that time. Sometimes I’d be working on it every day, other times I’d not touch it for weeks or months at a time. It really depended on how busy or whatever I was at the time. I think if I’d been working on it non-stop, it still would’ve taken me at least like 2-3 months to finish it.

If you made it to the end of this post, I hope you found all this information interesting.

Happy drawing.

It’s over, isn’t it.

[princeanxious]

What art are you most proud of? And please show us a pic if you can! <3

Not gonna lie, this was actually p hard to answer. I’m honestly proud of any piece I get done, especially any full body, full color, full background pieces, and I refuse to let myself out-right hate anything that I draw in general now-a-days, unfinished or no. I draw for fun, always have, so I try not to put too much worry on how good something looks so long as it gets my idea across in a way that I like, or that I tried?? (And ik being proud of a piece doesnt have to tie into what the end result looks like, im just covering that base) I looked through all of my recent digital art on my ipad(that i’ve had what, 3-4 years at this point?) and found myself about just as happy with each finished piece-

-Except one. There is one piece that I forget about constantly but I’m honestly super proud of the amount of effort it had put in to reach the end result. It probably sees a number of glances infrequently(due to my sporatic activity on said blog) but isnt posted to this blog’s art tag.

It’s the blog banner I drew for my @thelostguardianau fic, of the(at the time) whole cast in the au. You can find the post to reblog it from here but i’m also adding it below for reference. (* and honestly I’ll mention every other art piece in this au posted to it’s blog stands at having this same proudness, as each individual characters complicated design fed into this big banner, each one having a giant set of uniquely drawn wings, complex body markings, and unique clothing and features. And I would not have been able to complete this banner without having those singular character chart pieces finished first, except for Thomas’s design, who has yet to be posted for ✨reasons✨)

This fricking Banner was and still is(for now, *wink*) the most ambitious piece I’ve managed to finish. It took me so long, my wrist hated me, my ipad hated me, my ipencil hated me, medibang hated me, this piece pushed the limits of the poor app. Every time I try and open this piece up on the app it takes a solid couple seconds to open, save, and close.

From sketching to lining every single character, to having to uniquely match up Their Wing Sizes and Heights, because Guardians are fucking Tall, so Wing size and Height size was hell to calculate and portray. Why, you might ask?

Because I was limited to the proportions that would actually fit into a tumblr mobile banner. Which, funfact, is much smaller than you’d think!

I had to make sure they’d all fit, wings and all. And they didnt fcking want to. But I made it fit, because I wanted a full body + wings cast banner and goddamn it that was going to happen. And I did. And I lost a fuck-off amount of detail-space for it.

Coloring it wasn’t exactly difficult, but I will once again point back to this app hating this piece and it draining my battery because of it. I work in layers. My lineart will have 5-6 different layers in color before I combine them and set the hue to black, but I still keep my lineart seperate in that each character has their own lineart, and the background lineart is seperate.

I had their lineart, and probably still do, seperated into Seven different layers, one per character, each one w/ an extra masking layer for their wing glow. Each character got their own folder for colors, and had multiple layers for each colored section: clothing, skin, skin blush + eye whites, hair, wings, body markings, marking glow. And then there was the background layers, and the glowing affects, ect. The whole piece stands at having about 80 total layers having been used over the course of making it.

So yeah, Medibang does not like this piece when I try to open it. xD

But really, setting aside fighting and babying technology thats being pushed close to its limit, the real pride comes from the fact that this piece has Seven fully colored, near-full body characters drawn, all touching and interacting and accurate to the scale that I made. It is the most amount of characters in one piece that I’ve ever drawn, colored, and finished, and I’m pretty fricken proud of it.

Which makes it all the more daunting that said banner is going to get an upgrade, because it’s a Character Cast Banner after all, and its going to have four more fully designed and full winged characters added into it.

And by upgrade, I mean I get to redraw the whole dang thing. Because I gotta rearrange ✨everyone’s✨ positions. And at this point, the only way thats possible is by starting over.

wish me luck on that. o_o;

[washymylifeaway]

Haikyuu SakuAtsu fanfic recs: series edition ;)

ALRIGHT LOVES, BUCKLE UP! IM FORCING MYSELF TO FIND MOTIVATION LOL

As I was making that cursed SakuAtsu fanfic rec post (it really is cursed, but it’ll get done eventually cause I do love the SakuAtsu too much, when tho? only god know LOL), I decided that if I’m gonna finish it, imma have to break it up. SO that’s why this is our lovely series edition post LOL. Originally, it WAS writers, tags, series, then single fics BUT I decided to scrap tags and even then I was like it’s too long..... And so, this post materialized LOL (mayhaps writers next? who knows anymore cause I certainly don’t LOL). These are ONLY some of the series that I absolutely adore, and I say some because 1) the tag is literally like 4k fics long and I was on like page 20 something and I have SO many tabs open rn for SakuAtsu, so chances are I missed one or five LOL :’((((( and 2) my ao3 account hasn’t been made yet (should’ve done this a looooooong time ago) and so I don’t have them all saved anywhere :( (these just sound like excuses LMFAO) So these are just the ones I saw and was like OOP I LOVE and then added LOL (and so they’re in no particular order hehe). I also didn’t *** any of them cause they’re all so freakin good and even if you randomly chose one, you will not be disappointed.

As per usual, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for series and each individual fic before reading and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

I would also be more careful cause there are a lot more TW in these fics than other ships!

Terminal Curiosity by favspacetwink, moonlumie (E) // CHECK WARINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES!!! this is one of the BEST series I’ve read for this ship and even though I tend not to read WIP, IT’S WORTH IT! Please read ALL the tags before going into any of the fics in this series because there’s some real spicy stuff that may not be your cup of tea!

your highs and lows by astroeulogy (T,M,E) // this fic made me go on a roller coaster of feels from start to (tentative) finish :))) It’s great and I love it AHHHHH The progression in their relationship is just so ajfkjsf, and I just adore how Atsumu just broke(?) during that first fic and the number of double takes he did, v relatable LOL.

Different Kinds of Dysfunctional by DeathBelle (T,E) // I LOVE the entrance to this fic and how it flowed so well. I think Atsumu is characterized really well throughout this series (I could totally see Atsumu bringing the same thing up over and over again LOL), and his development was done beautifully (You just want to make me say it.,,, Kinda, yeah.). I really freakin love this series so please go ahead and read it don’t be shy hehehe.

we call everything on the ice, "love" by awkwardedgeworth (T) // I LOVE this fic omg,,, it’s in series, but it’s only two fics LOL... Anyway, Notte Stellata is one of my favorite SakuAtsu fics and I have reread it way TOO many times and the fanpage fic IS SO AMAZING (AND FUNNY ASF PLS). I really love ice skating AU’s too so this really made this ‘series’ all the more better <333333

know you better & related stories by theglitterati (T,M,E) // this is definitely one of the best relationship development series I’ve read, I love it so much! It really touches all the bases, and the progression is just SO good. It really is the fic version of the get along shirt, extended edition LOL.

flutterbird (a collection of sakuatsu one-shots) by wordstruck (T,M,E) // this series is such an easy pick up because it’s a bunch of one-shots (esp. if you’re not into smut cause there is some), BUT all of them are def worth a read. Personally, the third one, the sakusa kiyoomi listography, is my favorite (cause imma sucker for Sakusa), but that’s just personal preference hehe :)

Atsumu + Sakusa + The National = ? by isaksara (syailendra) (T,M) // this is another stand alone fic series but with AUs :D I don’t even know like most (ie. all) of the references (LMFAO), but I still read all of them LOL. Again, a personal favorite (without any references LOL) is the second one, famous angels (never come through england), it’s really funny and good and I just love it okay?

Better For Us Both by abrandnewheart (M) // (this was CP from my angst fic rec post LOL tho it is slightly edited cause istg my writing style changes every post LOL) THE MUG FIC. There is a sequel and when I saw it, it took me another week to read it cause I was like,,, am I ready to have my heart break again? No LOL. But the sequel is actually not as angst (but there’s still angst), so if you want to be like semi-broken or whatever, just read the sequel LOL (also it’s Sakusa POV HEHE). It’s so sad and it made me physically hurt every time someone even mentioned mugs afterwards (LOL why am I so dramatic but it’s the truth :///). Go ahead and hurt with me. You should read it even if you don’t like angst because you know what they say, no pain no gain :’)

parallax error: angle of inclination by min_mintobe (T) // okay so technically this ‘isn’t a series’, but it is two fic that are related, and what is that if not A SERIES :DDDDD Anyway, I really love this fic enough that I would find loopholes in my own dang post to recommend it LOL. I really love the service ace bet between Sakusa and Atsumu (I do think it is a superior headcannon (it’s hc right?)) but I also love what’s left unsaid by both in each other’s POVs hehe. If you want to go straight to Sakusa’s POV (cause their different POVs of the same fic), here it is parallax error: line of sight. You can read either first, but I recommend you read both eventually :)

to make any other mistake by honeymilktea (rosevtea) (T) // I, myself, am a very big fan of college Haikyuu (tho idk if it seems like that LOL), and this fic is very much up my alley hehe. I really like the idea that they are both TA’s and that Atsumu would totally bribe Sakusa into fake dating him as well as Sakusa wearing his brightest outfits to spite Atsumu.

How Do You Know? by awkwardedgeworth (T) // these fics are both so funny omg. The google search histories, the trial and error, and just everything in these two fics gives me so much dopamine LOL. There’s one POV for both end of the ship, though their tragedies are slightly different.

the human disaster chronicles by firtree (G,T) // is this another Atsumu gay panic fic? Yes, yes it is and I have absolutely no shame in recommending it hehe. I realllllllly like this fic and Atsumu having a break down cause Sakusa didn’t follow his routine? It is the move. Anyway, pls read this series cause like the title suggests, it really is a disaster (but at least there’s love right? LOL).

I Love You (Though it's Inadvisable) by Anubis_2701 (T) // okay the series itself is a wip (as in only one fic for now LOL), but the fic is so good, I couldn’t leave it off :))))) First, I do love a good soulmate AU and although I’m not a big fan on the body switching AUs, THIS one was SO good!!! It gets really cheesy and fluff at the end, but the beginning of this fic was just so immaculate, that we’re gonna ignore how much the ending made me want to stick my head into a hole (cause it was so FLUFF OMG).

The Germaphobe and the Asshole by metaandpotatoes (T,E) // so this series is also actually a WIP, but it’s okay I only read the first and the last one anyway cause they’re basically stand alone’s LOL. This series focuses a lot on Sakusa’s mysophobia, so if you’re not a fan of the hc, you should prolly pass hehe. TBH, my favorite is the third one, Avoidance Behavior, but that’s mainly cause I really like SunaOsa and I love the brother bond in it!

you are the cause of my euphoria by SugarHighs (T) // ajsfljksadhjkdfk is my first thoughts while reading this series cause ATSUMU WOULD. He would start posting thirst trap pics (which really reminded me of Wonho) in order to prove he was the most good looking member of MSBY. Tho, we do love the clowning of one Sakusa Kiyoomi, as done in the third fic (PLEASE NUMBER 17 AND Cheezel). Even if you can’t get yourself to read the other fics, read the third one, 5 Ways To Tell If The Person You're Dating Is The One, for the free serotonin boost plsplspls.

'basis' - noun. the underlying foundation for an idea or process. by auvelli (T) // like I said, college AU is a great AU, love it. This one, I do love indeed. We do stan having microwaves and mini fridges hehe. I support the ramen endeavors but oatmeal is gross, I said what I said. Anyway, I love the tags in the second fic, so even if you don’t end up reading it, read the tags,,,, they’re funny okay?

and i press you to the pages of my heart by volchitsae (T) // I LOVE THIS ONE, teehee again the college AU makes another appearance LOL. I REALLY love this writer, and this one is so funny but cute at the same time. It’s another two POV fic, but you’ll want to read this one in order hehe. Again, the ending is so FLUFF, that my head wanted to take a visit to the underground BUT ITS OKAY.

affection and acid reflux by volchitsae (T) // so the first fic is ~angst~ but IT GETS BETTER OKAY, happy endings. HAPPY ENDINGS. Anyway, there’s some really cute Sakusa in this one (esp. when he talks to the boy at the village LOVE HIM) and a healthy amount of angst as well. I really like this fic and guess what it is? Say it with me, COLLEGE AU LOL.

how big the hourglass, how deep the sand by volchitsae (E) // did I just recommend the same writer three times in a row? Yup and I think that says something LOL (tbh I like some of their stand alone fics more tho LMFAO but that doesn’t mean these series are bad nononono not at ALL (this sounded sarcastic but that was not the intention LOL)). This one is ~magical~ (v literally) and has some kinky stuff (holy water ftw) in it, so tread carefully :) I would make sure to read the tags before each one because it gets kinda steamy LOL.

^^ if I had to choose between these three, I liked and i press you to the pages of my heart the most just cause the plot was my type LOL. But they’re all good hehe.

a study on you(th) and reverie by sieges (G,T) // this series is such a sad series :( The first two are the only SakuAtsu but the third one is an angst Osamu one so there’s that LOL (and ofc the fourth one is KuniYama (is that their ship name idk)) But the first one is a moving on fic (which I liked) and the second is like basically a fake break up (which I liked more LOL) and both have some nice shares of angst and fluff so choose your battles wisely (or just read both LOL).

Burden of Blame by DeathBelle (E) // CHECK WARINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES!!! ah yes, the mafia fic LOL. I REALLY LOVE THIS FIC. I felt so bad for Atsumu the entire fic and yes it is, ATSUMU BEST BOY time. Did I really just recommend this series AGAIN for the THIRD TIME in THREE SEPARATE POSTS? Apparently LMFAO I didn’t even know TBH LOL. I just really like this one,,,,,, okay? But pls Atsumu just here for the ride man cause he BEST BOY. Anyway, if you want to see my other comments of this fic that I forgot I did links here :D (links and here are two separate links to two separate posts LOL).

OKAY so that’s most of the series that I saw and was like gotta put this here LOL. And do you see how long this is (I know I’m missing so many series I like istg when I find them later imma cry or just make another post LOL).... Can you imagine how long my actual fic fic one is LOL (i’m not kidding tho it’s so long I might just do fics with their actual summaries instead of adding my invalid, piss poor reviews :/). Ugh the more I think about it, the more I lose motivation to finish LMFAO, so imma go be no thoughts head empty, but I hope you enjoyed reading these series! I love SakuAtsu SO much, so there’s lots more to come (is that good or bad idek). I know I was kinda lazy on the warnings (my bad), so I hope you all were attentive and made sure to check before reading! Also if there are any errors, send me a message/ask! PLS, they’re v embarrassing LOL. (Also tell me if I forget to cap my I’s bc I do that sometimes and I can’t tell cause of the font LMFAO.) The way my posts get slightly more chaotic every time I post LOL.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 279: Here Comes the Airplane

Previously on BnHA: Gigantomachia gathered up the rest of the League and headed off to go help Tomura. Also he is now 80 feet tall. The heroes were all, “whoa this guy is really big, we should probably stop him and maybe even devote an entire chapter or two just to that,” and so they sent three whole people after him, which sadly is pretty much the exact sort of strategy I’ve come to expect from them by this point. Anyway so Mt. Lady tried to hold Machia off but kept getting flung aside, and Kamui Woods tried to catch him but was set on fire by Dabi who is just having way too good of a time setting all of the flammable heroes on fire today, and Midnight tried to put him to sleep but Compress threw a bunch of debris at her and so she fell like 80 feet. The chapter ended with Midnight being all “fuck this” and calling Momo, who ordered the rest of the child soldier squad into action as Machia approached. I’m not really sure what they’re gonna do, but I honestly don’t really care, because it’s Momo, and so, YES.

Today on BnHA: U.A.’s first-year hero students, who apparently had nine hours to prepare their battleground instead of the fifteen seconds we had all assumed, launch a complex multi-staged assault which is actually really fucking impressive because these kids are actually awesome. First they pin Machia down in one of Honenuki’s mud pits, and then they take turns making impassioned attempts to take out the other League members chilling out on Machia’s back. Unfortunately none of these attempts work because of Dabi, who’s working overtime while the rest of the League sits around shooting down each other’s escape plans. Basically a lot of stuff gets set on fire, and then the chapter ends with Mt. Lady pinning Machia to the ground while MINA, YES, MINA, charges at him covered in acid like some sort of video game boss that you need some kind of specific item to defeat. DID YOU KNOW YESTERDAY WAS MINA’S BIRTHDAY YOU GUYS. Anyway so this chapter is basically pandemonium from start to finish, and it’s great. It is a RUMPUS, y'all. A STRAIGHT UP HULLABALOO.

IS IT MOMO LOVIN’ HOURS I THINK IT IS, YOU GUYS. ARE YOU EXCITED. I AM EXCITED

but first, the color page we were promised, in celebration of Six Whole Years Of This Bullshit!!

oh god oh god so much to love so little time

some of the rowdier characters are making MULTIPLE APPEARANCES IN THIS SHITSHOW, including Kaminari who appears to be in a record-setting THREE of these! who exactly was taking all of these pictures, and why are they so obsessed with him. also how many of these are going to be used as evidence in the latest Kami Traitor Theory posts and is it too early for me to get mad about it

“WE INVITED ENDEAVOR AND HAWKS TO OUR ‘BEING FANCY ON THE COLOR PAGE’ PARTY, EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE NOT U.A. STUDENTS OR FACULTY. WE JUST FELT LIKE IT.” listen that is fine, y’all don’t have to explain yourselves to me

Mirko however is not here, I assume because if she was, Horikoshi would have forgotten to draw all the rest of the characters again. she’s too powerful

Midnight is so sexy I don’t even ksdfnkl

ALL MIGHT LOOKING HAPPY GIVES ME THE STRENGTH I NEED TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE REST OF THIS WEEK. YOUR SMILE IS THE MVP

Cementoss’s face is the runner-up MVP and one of the greatest things I’ve seen in my life

half the people here seem to be attempting to flirt with whoever is taking the pictures. I am starting to suspect that the culprit is Momo. change my mind

for some reason I am really shocked to see Endeavor getting his drink on. and he’s literally the only one, too

Bakugou’s half-assed I SAID NO PAPARAZZI skills are no match for Tamaki’s legendary “I WILL LITERALLY DIE IF YOU CAPTURE ME ON FILM” abilities

I literally didn’t notice Deku until like three quarters of the page in. he sure does blend right in there

Tokoyami is approximately 97.3% done and ticking EVER CLOSER to full 100% doneness, and when that happens even I can’t tell you what is going to go down

do I even need to mention how sexy Aizawa’s hair is. apparently I do

SERIOUSLY THOUGH CEMENTOSS’S FACE

anyway, so that was nice! NOW ON TO THE MOMOLOVIN’

and we begin with FIRST YEAR CLASS B HONENUKI “MUDMAN” JUZOU just LAYIN’ SOME TRAPS IN THE WOODS, as one does

oh my freaking god Tokage

somehow her quirk didn’t freak me out quite this much the last time we saw her. she is really something. has she always had shark teeth

also WHERE IS MONOMA’S GROUP. I immediately want to know!! is he with the Shouto group? or is there yet ANOTHER student group we don’t know about? what would they even be doing

or did Horikoshi actually get three quarters of the way through writing this arc and then suddenly slap his forehead as he realized that if Monoma just casually copied Machia’s powers he would either DIE IMMEDIATELY or else become SUPER STRONG and also grow 80 feet tall and this would suddenly be a very different battle with the scales tipping decidedly in the heroes’ favor. and so he had to quickly write him out of the battle in this very half-assed way

anyway, so while I ponder that, Tokage is peeking the top of her head out over the trees and staring at Machia who is, you guessed it, still heading right their way! just like he’s been doing pretty much this entire time

and now there’s a whole page of reaction panels you guys. this is why Horikoshi tries to avoid these massive Endgame-style battles with every single hero known to man participating. hopefully we won’t have too many of these. like I mean thank you for the roll call and all but I’d like to get to the action now

Mineta of all people is stealing this entire page with that expression though. he is not fucking around. this is twice in as many chapters that he’s been a page-stealing face-making champ. dare I hope this could be the start of a new niche for him? lord knows it would be so much better than the old niche

also this page is just sweatdrops galore. these kids are so nervous. MANGA GODS PLEASE KEEP THEM SAFE, although I’m honestly not too worried about them compared to the adults. I’m sure I should be, but I just am not

all right so now Momo is explaining what those little canisters are!

okay but someone please explain to me how it is that they had time to stop and lay all of these traps?? not just Honenuki’s, but Mineta’s and what looks like some of Shiozaki’s work as well?? did Machia just STOP MOVING for like five whole minutes all of a sudden for no reason at all? while they were all sitting out here saying things like “with that speed...”? ????? ????????

also lol wtf. “we’re gonna have to make him eat it.” I still have no idea what their plan is, but it’s getting more entertaining by the minute I’ll say that much

okay so Momo says that if they can get him to swallow just one of these, then that should be enough to put him to sleep. oh my god this chapter is going to be AMAZING isn’t it

meanwhile Mineta is worrying about Midnight. I swear to god if they turn this into something where he’s only worried because she’s hot, I will take one of these canisters and shove it right up his...

okay good, Mina’s reassuring him that it’s gonna be okay, and then we’re just cutting to Machia stampeding in with Mt. Lady and Kamui still clinging to him

WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE GUYS EVEN DOING

“we’ll just stand here adjacent to him and just kind of watch as he rushes straight at the children.” someone help me, I’m having difficulty finding a synonym for “useless” that carries the full amount of emphasis I want to place on it right now. this requires a degree of language the human race is not yet capable of

OH SNAP

THEY GOT HIM YEAHHHHH

OH DANG, FOR REAL THOUGH!!

ngl, for a brief spiteful moment I was disappointed he hadn’t actually fallen on them :/

and they’re still JUST STANDING THERE, I CAN'T EVEN?? we’re getting to the point where I honestly think actual civilians might have been of more use in this situation

YESSSSS

TIME TO FIND OUT HOW MANY TENTH GRADERS GIGANTOMACHIA CAN TAKE IN A FIGHT

also, sorry to keep harping on this, but the juxtaposition of that earlier panel with all of the fully grown and experienced pros just standing in dumb awe, immediately followed by this panel of BRAVE BUT DETERMINED CHILDREN CHARGING IN AND YELLING “GO GO GO”, is just... it really is something. shit. if I was the HPSC and this was what I had to work with, I too might have seriously considered fudging a few age requirements in hopes of finding someone who could actually get the fucking job done

also what the hell is going on down there with Shishida and Satou and that third person? what are those Blackwhip-looking things?? I’m confused

ohhhhh no

Shiozaki is about to be sent flying through the air courtesy of her own hair vines omg

OH NO WAIT THE THREE TOUGH GUYS ARE STOPPING HIM. AHHH THE LAST ONE WAS KENDOU AHHHH

I still can’t figure out what the hell those are though lol. did Momo make some steel cables?? I feel like Machia would be able to break just about any kind of rope or chain they could concoct just by sheer brute strength alone

ah fuck

DON’T YOU GUYS GO RUINING THIS FOR ME!! THEY’VE GOT A GOOD THING GOING HERE, LET THEM HAVE THEIR FUN!!

although I do appreciate how they’re all “U.A.!!” in kind of this “oh shit, these guys we actually have to worry about” sort of tone lol

this look on Toga’s face is a bit concerning! well but Deku and Ochako aren’t here though, so I wonder who she’s gonna fight if it comes to that. huh

(ETA: seriously, does anyone have any idea what Toga is planning cuz I sure don’t.)

Shouji and Ojiro, who I might remind you are normal people with no enhanced physical abilities aside from extra appendages, appear to have somehow circled all the way around to Machia’s back and are now climbing up oh shit

oh and Aoyama’s there too! -- is Shouji carrying him omg

he’s using him as a human ray gun omggg. this is the most delightful thing I’ve ever witnessed

NOW SOMETHING IS BEING SHOT AT THE LEAGUE AND DABI’S STARING AT IT ALL “>:(” AND I’M PRETTY SURE THIS THING, WHATEVER IT IS, IS ABOUT TO BE SET ON FIRE, LET’S SEE

lds;afksjdl;fkj WERE THOSE JIROU’S EARJACKS??!!

okay you know what fuck you Dabi. you think it’s funny to set a little girl’s ears on fire?! don’t expect any sympathy from me when Aoyama lasers you in the face

WELL I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING BUT THEY’RE SHOOTING WHAT LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF LITTLE TAMBOURINES AT HIM NOW

I ASSUME THEY ARE NOT ACTUALLY TAMBOURINES, BUT I REALLY DON’T KNOW, IT’S NOT LIKE THEY HANDED OUT THE RULE BOOK TO THIS THING AHEAD OF TIME

[HUGE EXAGGERATED GASPING SOUNDS]

oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my

OH MY GOD AND YANAGI THREW THEM WITH HER POLTERGEIST QUIRK!??

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS “ACK?!!” IS AND IT’S REALLY BUMMING ME OUT, BECAUSE THIS CAME WITHIN INCHES OF BEING THE COOLEST FUCKING COMBINATION I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!?!?

(ETA: it would have laid them all flat in seconds. Kaminari is to be feared you guys.)

NO!!!!!

it is sincerely frustrating to me watching the League carelessly toss aside all of their painstakingly accumulated goodwill from the MVA arc in the span of just a few short pages. hey Compress, you think it’s cool to hurl a bunch of rocks at my six-and-a-half-year-old son?? I hope someone rips that cool robot arm off and uses it to punch you in the dick

here comes Sero!! and how are you going to die, Sero

what in the

did he just... sneeze them all into space

okay but hear me out, what if Shouda absorbed that impact. SHOUDA YOUR TIME HAS FINALLY COME. CLASS 1-B’S ASCENT TO GLORY

(ETA: watch this space!! Shouda is here for a reason mark my words.)

meanwhile on Machia’s back, Dabi is soliloquying about Machia’s quirk while his arm is doing... something

please forgive me for not being able to drum up any sympathy for poor Dabi’s arms right about now. quit trying to set all my kids on fire

wait whaaaaat lol

so I scrolled back up to the previous page, and... that was fire?? lord help me why am I still so terrible at being able to tell when Horikoshi is drawing fire as opposed to just air randomly whooshing through trees. I have really got to memorize that foossh sound effect

so can Gigantomachia just BREATHE FIRE now?? or was ALL OF THAT Dabi??? if it was the latter then at least he had the decency to wait until all of the kids got blown out of range before setting the whole forest aflame to keep them back. I’ll admit it, that was thoughtful of him as far as villain power moves go

OHO BUT YOU CAN’T COUNT MOMO OUT JUST LIKE THAT!!

AND NOW EVERYTHING AROUND THEM IS EXPLODING AHHHHHH DID YOU GUYS SET LANDMINES, BAKUGOU WOULD BE SO PROUD

once again I have to ask myself exactly how much prep time they had here. Horikoshi would have you think it was mere seconds, but that clearly cannot be the case?? maybe they set some of these up beforehand to catch any stray villains trying to flee the area?

lmao Spinner’s all “wait why doesn’t he just dig his way out”, because apparently Machia can tunnel himself under the ground. but Compress is all “um because we would die” and Spinner is all “oh right”

though I gotta say, it’s not like they’re that much better off as things are now, either. pinned down in the woods surrounded by fire and explosives. definitely a conundrum

oh snap Compress has realized that their presence is holding Machia back. don’t tell me Machia is gonna head off on his own and leave the rest of the League to square off with the kids

YOOOOOO HOLY SHIT THE HEROES ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING

there you go, League! free cannon fodder to get you all pumped and confident again!

DKFJLSDKJ

PLEASE LET THIS BE THE ACTUAL TRANSLATION OH MY GOD. THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE LINE IN ANYTHING AHHHH

“I’m leaving it to you, U.A.’s youngsters!” yeah, you and everyone else. ah well, can’t deny they get the job done

OH MMKJKYYYY GODDDDDDJJK

MINA COATED HERSELF IN ACID AND IS RUNNING AT GIGANTOMACHIA AND IS SHE ALSO ON FIRE??!?! SHE’S JUST RUNNING AT HIM LIKE A BIG OL’ FIERY BLOB???! QUEEN MINA???!! FIRE IS NOT HER WEAKNESS???! MINA??!! IS AIRPLANE?!??!!?!? MINAAAAAAA

holy fucking shit this whole arc is just one big Arc Of Ladies Getting To Do Stuff and I am 1000% living for it. THIS ARC IS MY FAMILY. I WOULD DIE FOR IT AND LEAVE EVERYTHING TO IT IN MY WILL. ahhhhhhhhhh