#the experiment is going interestingly. still no idea what's causing this

[poetka]

Day 2 of having a very good day for no reason... should I be scared?

Had a pretty similar workday compared to yesterday, worked on my thesis the whole day (finished polishing the introduction according to the feedback I got and updated some diagrams). Notably my team took a full hour for breakfast which is kinda crazy but okay 🤷‍♀️ (The new oats I bought taste kinda weird btw. I wish I'd gone to a Polish store and bought some good ones or maybe płatki orkiszowe or żytnie.) I went home late anyway because I wanted to finish numbering the references for the intro. Had that ⅔ of a burger and the few fries that were left for lunch plus a tasty albeit not the freshest salad. Also rediscovered that some articles in Polityka have audio recording versions so listened to those while having mindless moments at work.

Right after coming home made a nice Asian fusion (?) soup from leftover veggies. Added ginger, chillies, soy sauce and oyster sauce along with carrots, leek, cabbage, onion, garlic, regular herbs and spices, and when the broth was ready, took out everything and added some peanut butter and leftover coconut milk. Got too hungry to wait so I ate a hummus + radish sandwich. Fried an omelette and also fried the carrots and cabbage from the broth with some soy sauce to add to the soup when serving. Cooked three types of noodles: egg, rice, and wheat. All this while catching up on some chill youtube vlogs/commentary. Then I realised it was already 7pm and I had spent the last 2 hours in the kitchen.

Went upstairs to finish downloading the last few episodes of CQL that had an error before. Realised the last 6 eps downloaded without subs and redownloaded them. The laptop was working really slowly so cleaned it up a bit afterwards.

Had a nice 25 mins of pilates / stretching which made me feel really relaxed - need to this every day forrrreal. Took a shower but decided to skip washing my hair and just hoped for the best when applying dry shampoo.

Anyway the thing is, what I really mean (🎶👩‍🎤) is that I feel a bit guilty about my day going so smoothly when I know my friend who is in a similar situation but worse (barely started the thesis) is having a bad day every day. I don't want to say that I'm doing well so I'm just not mentioning that at all and looking for things that I can complain about too. But then am I making it about myself if they just want a listener? It's a nightmare. But my day was still really good even though the weather was bad today and I can't explain this mood with yesterday's lovely weather. Honestly haven't felt this way in like. I can't even remember when was the last time? And I'm overall in probably the most stressful moment of my life?? I'm kinda scared that flying this high will end up in a bad crash.

[doctor-hopper]

I'm really tempted to comb through his lines about luck and write meta on it, because even off the top of my head, looking only at DR2/Dangan Island content, it's like

His FTEs frame bad luck as being part of good luck: bad thing leads into something good enough to compensate

But he has at least one Dangan Island line where he anticipates something bad after experiencing something good

And interestingly considers nothing much happening to him to be bad luck in Dangan Island's ending, even though he had a good time, which warrants some unpacking (my current hypothesis is it's because his impending death is making him desperate to make his life meaningful, not 'waste' his remaining time)

Not all of his examples fall neatly into his luck cycle model, especially not the FTE version where the events are connected. The diagnosis and HPA admission were separate-ass events, in DI's ending he expected his convo with Hinata to go well because of the aforementioned general '''bad''' luck too, the events of chapter 5 are hard to sort into the model, some DI interactions make it sound like he just has extreme outcomes sometimes (eg. he'd win capture the flag first try every single time), etc etc.

I have a feeling at least some of the way he talks about his luck is copium, especially in his FTEs since he really had to focus on the idea of bad -> good in the killing game. But as you say, he could have been intentionally oversimplifying... and if he actually thought the cycle worked both ways, saying he lives in fear of bad things every time something good randomly happens might've veered too close to genuine vulnerability. Which he avoided (by his standards anyway- I think he lacked awareness of how bad the kidnapping + plane stories were) until the final FTE.

Either way, I definitely need to scrutinise his lines more :'D

A ton of good points! Komaeda’s luck is fascinating and nowhere near as clear-cut as he originally makes it sound. Fics where he tries to “game the system” and finally gain some sort of control over his luck are interesting—but honestly, I feel like he’s already been trying to do that for as long as he’s lived. And he exercises an impressive amount of power under those restraints! But…also.

As for anticipating something bad after experiencing something good, I do think the way Komaeda portrays the order of events is just what he tells himself and/or Hinata. In reality, good and bad luck are two sides of the same coin to him—the real important part isn’t the order, it’s that nothing good can happen without something bad happening too. Everything has a price. Luck is a zero-sum game.

(He touches on this again in 2.5 when he says there’s “a fixed amount of luck in the world” and so he’s content to suffer the bad luck for everyone else’s benefit. In the dream-world sim, the luck he experiences is apparently “ideal”, but it still has to exist. There still has to be an Omelas child of sorts. Komaeda would just rather it be himself.)

As for good being caused by bad vs. just following it, it definitely happens both ways and he’s definitely contradicted himself. Beyond that, even, there are cases in the game where it’s not totally clear what sort of cycle is involved in the luck he experiences. In 2-1, he draws the short straw simply because he wanted to. Was the bad…offscreen? Was it the killing game itself? Would “being forced to clean” actually count as bad luck even if he wanted it? Was it then followed by the good luck of finding the secret passage? People hypothesize that his luck works differently in the simulation according to his own belief, which would complicate things even more, but I’m sort of back-and-forth on that theory. There are arguably examples of luck working the way Komaeda claims it does in DR2, also—such as getting the Despair Disease the worst out of anyone thanks to his compromised immune system, but being able to discover in the hospital that Tsumiki was the culprit. ending up in the hospital but meeting a lovey-dovey nurse GONE WRONG

I’ve always read the Island Mode ending as copium myself. I do definitely think he was hoping for a chance to die meaningfully on the island, and I guess in his mind that could be bad luck, but it doesn’t really fit his model. The way he tries to nudge Hinata into agreeing it’s bad luck, the scene reads to me like he just needs to believe it’s bad luck so he can solemnly ask Hinata to be his friend. (And I think it’s notable that in the word he uses for friend here is 友達 tomodachi, which in this context could be understood as more of a personal friend—everywhere else, he’s used the word 仲間 nakama, comrades, to refer to the whole class as a unit.) And remember, being loved by someone is another way that Komaeda’s death could have meaning—so even if he didn’t end up in the climactic situation he was expecting, perhaps he’s realized there’s another way to get what he wants. :’)

But, yeah, what decides if something is good or bad luck for Komaeda though? I think even that’s not always clear to him.

I’ve heard the view that it “gives him what he immediately wants while taking away what is subconsciously valuable to him” (from TheAmityElf, I think) which is interesting, especially to play with as a writing tool, but not ultimately convincing. Some events could be loosely mapped to that pattern, but others contradict it a bit—you can’t tell me he just wanted money, and he did actively try to turn down his invitation to Hope’s Peak.

Which is now also making me think: Since the diagnoses and the invitation weren’t directly related, do you think he even connected them in his mind at first? What if he didn’t, and so he was afraid that by going to Hope’s Peak he would be invoking even more bad luck yet to come?

One more interesting dimension of his luck to think about is whether it hurts others vs. himself. In 2.5 it only hurts Komaeda, but that’s not quite the direct opposite of his real luck, because his real luck gave him cancer and dementia! However, it also does seem to be proactive in protecting him from actual death in both 2.5 and the rest of canon.

I’ll conclude this reply with this…relevant blackout poetry (blackout infographic?) I made years ago and which you suddenly reminded me of, lmao.

Silly coda: This is why Komaeda’s favorite word is eucatastrophe.

(…How lucky, then, that people say “Komaeda, eucatastrophe!” to him all the time!)

[pumpkinsy0]

Maybe too specific of an idea, but hcs for if pony and curly were roommates at college (somehow curly makes it to college) and darry and soda come to visit for the weekend and they just gotta deal with curly tagging along with everything? 😭

anon speakin from experience rn guys i know it

btw for context, lets just say they didnt know the shepards before this, so this is the first time theyre actually meeting curly

•lets say pony, soda, and darry have literally been planning this for months cause its been a while since ponys been home, and each call pony would have w em, curly would b listening in, cause hes nosey

•pony HAS talked about curly before, but curlys still a huge troublemaker so pony tries talking about him as LESS as humanly possible for their own safety and sound if mind

•BUT literally ever since they met up w pony, they could TELL curly was a special kid, he didnt necessarily do anything wrong, but he just,,,,talked interestingly,,,,like hes hiding something, but pony pushed him away and so they THOUGHT that was the last of him but nooooooo

•everytime curly would MAGICALLY find them hanging out and stick around, soda and darry dont just push him away, yknow to b nice, but by GOD do they not understand whats up w this kid

•now to b fair its not like hes hanging out w them the WHOLE time, sometimes he makes his guest star appearance and then just dips, he doesnt wanna completely fuck up their time over, other times however hes like “okok ill get outta ur hair” and then he doesnt, hes like a TICK

•its MY acc and I say that pony and curly have a secret thing going on pony never told them about, and each time curly would come over, its like hed alluding to it, but before darry and soda could understand it, pony distracts them and hits curly, darry and soda r so uncomfortable someone save them

•if hes not alluding to that, hes bringing up things pony has NEVER brought up to darry OR soda, and they KNOW theyre not supposed to pay attention to anything but pony rn but wym ���did pony tell u what happened at this one party”🤨🤨

•when he says ”i know a place” he literally just takes pony for ransom, he will grab pony and that in turn gets darry and soda to follow him u til they get to the spot

•after a day of all (against their will) hanging out, pony apologizes for curlys antics, but guess what happens again???? THE SAME THING!!!! they HAVE to ask if “hes always like that????” and curly has a shit eating grin while ponys rolling his eyes at him and answering

•curlys the kinda guy to ask pretty personal questions or like questions u would t ask someone when u met them like days ago, darry has a list of it he’ll b thinking about on his way home

[vibrantstarfire]

wait everyone stop. parallel between mirage breakup and spyral. the idea of being recognized, body and soul, and how that ties into how kory views being loved.

"i would have known you no matter what" - mirage era, kory was upset because she'd been kidnapped and held hostage and had to save herself. she was certain - whether due to her physiology and potential ability to tell people apart easier than humans can (maybe even via tamaranean kisses since it's actually a specific form of mindmeld and can do not just language acquisition but memory restoration, energy transference, and more!) - the idea that the person she loved more than anything simply did not have the same capability to recognize her. not even when mirage acted completely different than kory and did things kory never would have, including selling her image to porn magazines, which kory was not okay with.

while kory doesn't hold dick responsible for what mirage did, it is still upsetting to find out that the one you love does not have the same capability to know you and be able to tell you apart from a doppleganger - to truly know you body and soul! - the way kory does. the more kory learned about what mirage did while posing as her, the more frustrated she got that dick hadn't realized. not because she thinks he's at fault -- but because it means that he doesn't see her as clearly as she sees him. and maybe he can't. but it clearly means something to her, and causes her a lot of distress, that he doesn't know her, body and soul, the way she claims to know him.

ultimately dick and kory get back together and try to get married to save their relationship. it doesn't work.

interestingly, kory gets amnesia and fully loses her identity for a while not long after the disastrous wedding. but after being impersonated and having her relationships used by someone wearing her skin, kory willingly sheds her identity and relationships on earth. while this is mainly done to save kory's mind from raven's psychic attacks... its implied that kory is also having something of an identity crisis. and dick is a huge portion of that. in her hallucination during the way of the warrior ritual, dick is the representation of all of her positive and gentle relationships. kory willingly gives them up to be stronger; a choice that, i wonder, might have gotten easier when these softer relationships didn't protect her from being held hostage and having to save herself and having her skin stolen.

even after getting her memory back, the experience is still enough to keep kory in an identity crisis. she leaves earth without even properly saying goodbye to dick (or breaking up with him properly!), and leaves for tamaran to figure out who she is again. it's rather left a mystery whether she finds it there or not, because not long after that, she's coming back to earth after new tamaran has been destroyed. (additionally, she almost immediately got married to someone else, and got pregnant, though as the baby is never mentioned again it's assumed she miscarried)

anyway - i'm proposing the fundamental problem that kory does not feel as seen or loved as deeply by dick grayson as she loved him.

"i would have known you no matter what" - dick, having sacrificed his identity and put on a device that scrambles his face, is surprised to find that kory still recognizes him. but she does. because she was honest about everything she told him. she would recognize him anywhere, anyhow. no matter what he looks like. no matter what he has done with himself. she knows the real deal. she knows him.

and then he kissed her and just as quickly decided that he wasn't actually interested. just as he did in the infamous pool scene where kory told him to either commit if he loved her, or stop playing with her feelings by being intimate with her. and dick said he didn't love her.

the writers have kory treat this like it isn't a big deal. like kory is just that gregarious and happy-go-lucky, to have dick come in and out of her life as he pleases. but i feel like this would just make her abandonment issues worse, and only reinforce the idea that she will always love deeper than what he feels for her.

privately, i wonder if kory feels vindicated, that she made good on her word all those years ago. after all -- she did recognize him when no one else did. maybe it does mean she loved him more, maybe it does mean she knew him body and soul. so why does it still feel like she lost?

in my head, if kory and dick were to get back together, it would be essential for kory to be seen and loved as deeply and truly as she has shown she loved him. to really feel like this relationship is mutual (even just to readers, after seeing starfire get disrespected for years) i think dick would need to demonstrate that he sees her, that he knows her down her to very core. i would want to see him making such a blatant effort that she wouldn't ever have to doubt it again.

[fruitsofhell]

Having such an interesting "my art has GOT to get weirder" moment looking at Patapon 1 and 2 vs Patapon 3, and now vs Ratatan, the series' spiritual successor. I have just arrived in to this series and I have takes.

Between the two halves of the series is just this really garish transition away from the minimalist simplicity of the original artist. Going from something truly modernist but still very 2000s to just like much more generic what the kids call "fruiteger metro" or whatever. I just finished watching like a feature length video essay on the series and the way they guy frames it the 3rd was designed without the original artists input and it shows so clearly in the new characters. Christ its like if Shadow the Hedgehog in all his glory was added while the rest of the Sonic cast was still being designed by Oshima.

Then you have this spiritual successor done by an entirely different artist who's style is amazing and I love it and I'm buying the fuck out of this game but is also nowhere near the original series design ethos with some callbacks. Like so interestingly there is a reoccurring eye motif but the vibe is completely different. This one is going for like a slightly creepy-cute thing with heavy emphasis on the cute (more like odd-cute?), as opposed to the very raw wackiness of the original. The lack of detail, the minimalism created its own kind of cute factor that was very flexible whereas this style very loudly screams everything it's trying to be.

I won't get way too into this cause it requires more visuals, but look at Patapon 1 gameplay vs this Ratatan game and like tell me which one really clearly took art direction and gameplay most into account with each other.

Also as problematic as it may be I really liked the idea of the 'tribal' theme the original went for, I'm a sucker for everything I've heard about the Patapon's little culture and religion and shit linked to the music. I think I just really like any style where cutesy minimalist designs feel like sort of... suggestions of a character or theme. The patapon are these bare and infinitely customizable little guys which could become anything, and them thus being this race of guys in this odd world who grow and figure stuff out works very well. Theyre very much like Kirby obviously in that design sense, but even more stripped down. They're vague. They're whimsical. And the 3rd entry's designs are very clearly trying to be really COOL and the spiritual successor's are very clearly trying to be CUTE in a way that the original could just like be whenever it wanted to I feel.

I'm having an inspiration moment cause I'm just thinking like man. I want my art to be like Patapon 1. I want to be able to really embrace minimalism and master that art of just letting shape and language or raw color tone just speak for itself. I would love to make art that feels like its at the Patapon 1 and 2 part of the spectrum of like, oh yeah that was an ART game. Like that was an artstyle the game was built around, like it was so striking to a developer they built a whole audio-visual interactive experience around it. Whereas by 3 you get the feeling of this was just another game, and the successor which is what it is. The art is beautiful, and evocative in a way I can imagine that same deal from, but it's just not That.

I've not played these games i learned about them 2 hours ago take this with the whole salt shaker.

[katboykirby]

Autistic Beel is very real to me personally, as an autistic person (special interest, not very expressionate, etc). I also very much agree with the Satan and Levi headcanons too.

Oh this is interesting because I don't think I've heard about an autistic! Beel HC before? Usually (in my experience anyway) it's autistic! Levi and very very occasionally autistic! Satan

Now, full disclosure that I'm not autistic myself, so any information I'm familiar with comes from research + the experiences of my irl partner, who got his autism diagnosis as an adult. (I do have ADHD and I know that there's some relation/overlap there, but I'd still trust the words and experiences of actual autistic people over my own)

And I can definitely see some aspects of autism in Beel! Like you said, he doesn't tend to show much of any particularly strong emotions, at least not openly or on the surface - he tends to keep a fairly flat expression (and his usual frown could be interpreted as the classic neurodivergent "resting bitch face" aha) and his voice clips reflect this as well - he's definitely not as affective as say, Mammon or Asmo! Beel is a lot more quiet than his brothers, on average. He's not really very emotive or expressive outside of specific or extreme situations. Although, I don't tend to go for the romantic options with him or read his personal Devilgram stories all that often (since I'm a Satanfucker) but I'm aware that he's usually more emotive in romantic moments with MC, or when things get tense/dramatic with his family.

Speaking of which, something that we do occasionally see is Beel losing his temper and becoming very angry - to the point that he loses control of himself and goes on rampages. The most significant examples of this in the main story would be Lessons 4 and 5 of the original game, when he flies into a rage over some custard and ends up destroying half of MC's room; and the whole plotline in Nightbringer revolving around Beel's rampage at the royal castle that almost resulted in Diavolo having to lock him up because of how much destruction he caused. I know that "autism rage" is pretty negatively stereotyped (unfairly so, in my opinion) but anger is definitely a real struggle for individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders

The whole food thing is definitely interesting in this context as well (and I assume this is what you meant by "special interest?" Lmk if I'm wrong) because Beel is the complete opposite of the common autism stereotypes when it comes to food! We often see the idea of autistic individuals having a very limited scope of foods that they actually enjoy, because things like texture, flavour, and sensation are all very different and experienced in a different way than neurotypicals. Autistic individuals are stereotyped as "picky eaters" because it's common for them to have very specific "safe foods" and/or not enjoy very many exotic or strong flavours. Beel definitely does not have a problem with this, lmao. And we know that his love/obsession with all foods isn't something that came about just when he was made the Avatar of Gluttony, since he was a big food lover as an angel as well (though his eating habits, admittedly, weren't as extreme back then.) Interestingly, a lot of research shows that people with autism are more likely to struggle with binge eating disorder, which has some intriguing implications for Beelzebub 👀

It's entirely possible that exercise & working out and/or sports like Fangol could be special interests for him as well! Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that Beel has mentioned or alluded to feeling restless if he doesn't get at least one workout in every day, like he doesn't feel that his day is "complete" if he hasn't done his exercise routines. This could suggest that he experiences the common autism symptoms around adherence to routines and inflexibility when it comes to changing up his usual habits and activities 🤔

This reply has actually become pretty long, so I'll just stop myself here before I get carried away even further 😅

Overall, I think that there's definitely merit to autistic! Beel HCs, and I'm sure that people who are actually autistic and/or are big fans of Beel himself (and who would have read far more of his in-game content than I have, like his Devilgrams) would be able to go into even more detail than I have!

[therwriter]

More Dorothyposting but I think it's a shame she's not in Lone Trail because she is in many ways an interesting narrative foil to Kirsten. Both driven by loss of their parents, both wanting to build on their legacy, both blind to the harm they cause. But Dorothy is predominantly altruistic, and genuinely ignorant, and when confronted with the harm she's caused she shuts down her experiment, while Kirsten presses on regardless and, in various ways, indicates she is actually still very much on top of what's going on, but simply doesn't care, at least for the most part. She doesn't remember Ifrit because Ifrit doesn't matter, she doesn't care what Ferdinand is up to because it gives her time to work on her life's work, but she manipulates Saria and Muelsyse to a superhuman degree in the final confrontation.

Also, interestingly, Dorothy gets used by the military, while Kirsten uses them, and even builds the destruction of their "weapon" she built into the plan, denying them utterly. She is, to the end, "Control".

The story beats themselves are not dissimilar either, as the protagonists unravel the mystery of the researcher in question before the world-changing reveal and confrontation.

Dorothy's Vision is Hypergryph telling a *comparatively* straightforward story of a mad but "pure" scientist exploited by the military industrial complex, before asking "okay but what if she was a girlboss" expanding on and subverting these ideas in Lone Trail.

Of course if Dorothy was actually in Lone Trail she'd have probably undone the whole plot by explaining and disabling the transmitter right away, but anyway...

[cadcreates]

Alright, I've processed lore stream, here's my thoughts, let's go! (It's long, sorry)

Now the pirates have the knowledge to conclude why Guqqie hasn't come back, which ties into the lore stream in the sunken city: "I will show you the truth"

Intentionally or not, Ivy showed them directly what the church does to their friends

That being said...Ivy didn't have a corpeal form, at least not a visible one, until after the cultist sacrificed Hook and the area turned to stone (which, interestingly, if I saw that right, didn't just turn the area into stone, but specifically only every corrupted block)

And only then the cultist would touch Ivy, who made no attempt to defend themselves, only asking the pirates to seek Sandro

Also, the way the cultist handled Ivy seemed very... Idk, less like handling a dangerous being and more like a strict (perhaps even abusive) parent bringing a rebellious teen back home. Like it wasn't a big deal. Which really makes me wonder how long this has been going on... How many people have been sacrificed for the church to gain control over Ivy?

Now, this next part is gonna be me wildly theorizing, but I think with the petrification being so corruption-specific and the cultists hunting down Ivy and pretty casually moving them – a being they put in magical chains at some point and that's clearly hiding from them – makes me think Ivy, or rather, the corruption, is or has been at some point a weapon of theirs. Or a failed experiment, or just generally something to give them power

But again at this point I'm just wildly theorizing

Now, my last thoughts: Sandro

At this point we only know one Sandro, the founder of the faction isles, Sandro Caravel (Hope I spelled it right)

I'll be honest, I don't quite remember if they ever gave a time frame for how long the faction isles existed, but given that at least Scott grew up there, we can only assume Sandro Caravel is either very old or not alive anymore. My first idea was to check out the inside of the statue, where they looked for clues for Gabriel at some point

But most likely they're gonna find clues to a diary or legacy of some kind in the library, either off stream or in a cinematic or something

One thing is for sure, at this point it doesn't matter if the cultists have good intentions, they certainly aren't good people. As for the corruption... Well, it still took Aimsey, even though that was the only loss so far that they caused directly, so we'll have to see

[maiji]

I'll request a reading if you're still doing them! why not. for my little guy Hana. what is he afraid of with regards to... his own history? 🤔 numbers.. 11 and 23. and if you're not still doing readings.. i hope you have a great day regardless!

I am absolutely delighted to do a reading for Hana from the webcomic Kings of Sorts! Hana seems like such a sweetie but from his very first appearance it's clear there's so much more to him than meets the eye. I'm nowhere near caught up on webcomic so this will be interesting, to see whether any patterns/interpretations we pull out manage to touch on anything that readers can already experience, or whether it just veers off into another direction of far-off general speculation. So if there somehow manage to be spoilers in this reading, I'm sorry, I had no idea either. lol

#11 was The Whip (which, by the way, is actually the eleventh card in Lenormand as well, interestingly enough), and #23 was The House. This combination actually made me gasp in light of the question. Kind of an "oh! / ohhh??" gasp. I think there's a lot of potential in terms of delving deeply into creative writing inspiration or character analysis!

The Whip is a card associated with many things that can cause pain: conflict, violence, shame, anger. And The House has already come up before, so we know it's used to represent a lot of things that seem like the exact opposite of The Whip - warmth, stability, things that make you feel cozy and happy and comfortable. But it's also associated with private matters. In other words, the exterior facade presented to the world may be brightness and cheer but there may be something much darker happening behind closed doors. I am reminded of when we first meet Hana in his home, and the scene where he talks about wanting to be able to help the people in his community in some way, any way...

In short, looking for a connection between the two cards that could be a cause for fear in Hana's history seems like we have a plethora of options. If we're being super dark - was there past punishment and suffering that separated him from things he considered home or family? Did they hurt, or were they caused by, people he would consider family? And whips are also things used to control - there's a lot of symbolism for a whip as not only a weapon and instrument of torture, but also a stereotype of a tool used to manage things seen as dangerous, wild and/or "other", like some kind of beast tamer. It has a lot of cruelty associated with it.

We don't have to go down the path of only super dark places, by the way. The Whip doesn't have to be interpreted in an extreme fashion - though I suppose with creative writing/inspiration we can often feel like that's an obvious or exciting and dramatic route to go down. It can also represent an argument, a physical activity (an injury?), something much less overtly traumatic but still play a major role in a core memory/event. Also, this Whip has flags added to it for greater control and sound effects - there's a sense that it can be for show, engineered as part of a performance.

I hope this was helpful! Thank you for the opportunity to read for Hana. Please don't be too mean to him!

---

Thanks for requesting a limited time free reading to celebrate the new edition of the Fortune Lenormand oracle/art deck!

Want to dive deeper?

Fortune Lenormand oracle/art deck - there's a free downloadable overview of card meanings!

humangray.com/lenormand - more info and resources/links!

(Note: these readings are being done with my old card deck from the original printing. There's not much difference with the new edition available in the link above - the biggest one is that the new edition has a custom box ooh ahh!)

[blackjackkent]

More explorations in the ruined temple:

Chatted with Roah Moonglow. In-game Rakha succeeded the history check to recognize the Zhentarim logo but I choose to believe this didn't actually happen because why would it. She did shake the little halfling trader down for plenty of info though - most importantly, Roah namedropped Moonrise Towers as another center of the cult's activities, and mentioned "the drow" again as someone who's buying all Roah's smokepowder off her in service of some big upcoming plan. "That glint in her eye is bad news for someone." (This is good for me from a meta perspective, as I want Rakha to go beat up Minthara before getting Halsin and then lighting the whole place up by fighting Ragzlin.)

Stopped in camp to sort some inventory and Gale needed another artifact. D: Fed him the gloves we got off the goblins in the grove. He's worried because it's not having the same effect that the last item did; Rakha is worried because he's worried - and because she doesn't know what the hell is going on in the first place.

Encountered Abdirak in the so-called "Bloodied Shrine". This was an interesting bit that I didn't do with Hector; basically Abdirak serves the goddess of pain and is there to help the goblins torture prisoners. Letting him beat on you for a while grants you a permanent blessing from Loviatar that gives you buffs at low health. His conversation with Rakha was interesting. He mentioned something along the same lines as something Shadowheart said recently - "Pain without purpose is a terrible thing, wouldn't you agree?" Rakha told him, matter-of-factly as always, about her urge to cause pain, to inflict death. His response: "Do not be ashamed, child. What I see in your eyes, in your soul, is only natural. We've all suffered in these dark times. It is little wonder you bear scars of pain and anguish. Let me alleviate this pain." Again that flash of hope - does he know something about what happened to her, about who she is? The alleviation he promises is "penance - administered by my skilled hand". This elicits a dry joke from Shadowheart: "Go ahead. I'm sure you're in need of a little *penance.*" The beast, the dark urge, is unimpressed in Rakha's head by the idea of self-flagellation ("Only the poorest of men need seettle for the spectacle of their own gore," points out the Narrator), but Rakha's curiosity - and the hope for answers - wins out. A strange experience for her. The pain of his blows are crisp and sharp and - she must admit - oddly bracing, but they bring her no clarity. She can smell the blood in the air and lashes out at him, howling back with each blow, demanding he hit harder still. But it isn't what he wants - he (or his goddess) wants her mewling and begging for mercy, crying out in pain, which she was never going to give him. So she leaves, aching and angry and with no more answers than she had before. Shadowheart seemed to enjoy the show. Wyll and Lae'zel... less so.

Saved Volo! This ended up being easy because Rakha just beat the shit out of the goblin guarding him without bothering with the speech checks, bc she was still riled up from the encounter with Abdirak. XD She's pretty bemused by Volo; I suspect it might have actually been Wyll and not her that invited him to go to their camp.

Found one of Aradin's guys strung up and being tortured by the goblins. I suffered a great deal of terrible disappointment that this line is not in character for Rakha:

Interestingly, Shadowheart chimed in without prompting: "Say we'll take over. His work is sloppy - he'll kill the prisoner too quickly." Hints of that Sharran torture training poking through.

We get a fairly nasty bit of Durge content here. Rakha is more than a little distracted by the smell of blood in the whole area and the beast in her head would be happy to watch the torturer finish - or to do the job herself. [PERFORMANCE] "I'm taking over," she says, following Shadowheart's advice. "Your sloppy handiwork is going to kill the prisoner too quickly."

"What?" sputters the goblin. "Think you can do better? HA! Go on then, have at it."

Rakha hisses a breath out between her teeth. "I am going to do something so awful it would scare even you to watch," she says slowly. It isn't even really a threat - more an acknowledgment that her control is slipping, a warning to her companions as much as to the goblin.

"Oh," says the goblin cheerfully. "I'd like to see you try."

Narrator: Face the prisoner, consider the implements provided. Then...

Caress his thighs with the poker's warmth.

She isn't conscious of making the decision, or picking the poker up - only that it is suddenly in her hands and that strange harsh smile is twisting her lips, and the man is screaming, screaming in agony as the hot metal sinks into his leg.

Narrator: The stench of charred flesh wafts over you. You don't know why, but you are *really* good at this. You never want this perfect moment to end.

The beast in her head is purring eagerly, almost blotting out everything else - but at this moment she becomes conscious of Wyll's eyes on her. He looks appalled, disappointed - angry, even. And she feels her jaw set, pushing back suddenly against the dark urge.

Wyll is right. It is like Arabella - this man's pain does not serve them. But the smell is overwhelming, the sound of his screams so brutally sweet...

She drops the poker, watching it clang onto the floor. Stop. A hoarse breath in, a heavy exhale. Attack with purpose.

Don't let yourself fall further into this pit. Attack the goblins and save him.

It is its own kind of satisfaction for the beast to kill the goblins as well, of course. The beast always seems to win, in the end. But Wyll seems pleased, when they open the rack and let the man out onto his feet. And Rakha has a strange feeling in her chest, a mixture of pride and regret that she cannot explain or articulate.

(A/N: She got this very interesting sad sort of look on her face, watching him climb down off the rack...)

The prisoner has little information to offer - but a few useful scraps here and there. The druid Halsin can become a bear. Aradin wanted the Nightsong for a wizard named Lorroakan who is searching for it. And most important of all - the goblins were torturing him to find out where the grove is, so they can attack it.

----

"Good," Wyll says in an undertone as they turn away from the bloody torture device, as the man slips off into the shadows. "I saw that. I saw you fight it."

"You saw me fail to." Her voice is gruff, but her glance flicks to him sharply. How closely has he been watching her?

"And then I saw you succeed." Wyll shrugs. "Not all battles are fought with steel. I know that all too well."

[ryan-nerdy-goober]

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy or Self-Cancelling F*ckery? How to Tell the Difference

Those of you into time travel fiction are likely aware of the plot device known as a “self-fulfilling prophecy” or “bootstrap paradox,” in which one or more characters travelling to the past results in a chain of events that, among other things, leads to them travelling into the past to establish said events in the first place; in other words, they had always been there to do those things.

Still puzzled? Here are some examples:

— – -

In the Stargate SG-1 episode “1969,” just before the team embarks on a scheduled mission, General Hammond hands Captain Carter a note, informing her in vague detail that she’ll know what to do with it, and that he can’t elaborate any further.

Later, after being accidentally sent back to 1969, the team meets a younger Hammond, at which point the note suddenly makes perfect sense to Carter, who has a doctorate in Theoretical Astrophysics.

Upon their return, Carter speaks with the General, who reveals he’d “waited a long time” for this all to happen, proving he knew all along that the SG-1 team would go back to 1969 to meet him, an act that had the consequence of Hammond assuming command of the SGC years later, and likely also had an influence on Teal’c joining the team so quickly.

— – -

In the fourth Pokémon movie, the “Twerp Brigade” and Team Rocket wind up in the past, where they meet a boy of Ash’s age named Sammy, with the former showing the latter his Pokédex.

Later, after Celebi returns them to their own time, we learn that Professor Oak was Sammy (short for “Samuel”), and that he got the whole idea for the Pokédex when Ash showed him the finished version; that’s right, Ash Monsterfightin’ Ketchum is the one responsible for the Pokédex’s existence!

— – -

In the Futurama episode “Roswell that Ends Well,” the Planet Express crew winds up in New Mexico in 1947, where we discover these three things…

- The ship that crashed was the Planet Express Ship (with Bender’s salvaged body “reconstructed” into its original form, making him the UFO)!

- The alien they vivisected? Zoidberg!

- Fry takes the cake with this defining moment (or, rather, “cavalcade”):

1. Firstly, he does everything he can to keep his paternal grandfather’s testes alive so he isn’t erased from history, which goes as well as you’d expect

2. Then, while trying to figure out how he still exists while consoling his future grandmother, he winds up in bed with her, succumbing to her desire for pity sex and essentially “doing the deed”

3. Lastly, the crew finds him the next morning, with Prof. Farnsworth blurting out that Fry is his own Grandfather!

Interestingly, this literally self-fulfilling prophecy is the reason the Nibblonians need Fry for their agenda, as his unique quantum composition is key to saving the universe on more than one occasion; Philip J. Fry is of the quintessential saviour archetype.

— – -

Now that we’ve established the concept of the self-fulfilling prophecy, what exactly is a “self-cancelling f*ckery,” or “boot-trip pair-o’-f*cks”…?

Well, in this case it’s much simpler to define, as it’s essentially anything that by the nature of its existence causes it to cancel itself out, which is rarely by accident, almost certainly by design, and usually by a single oversight causing one weak link that destabilises the whole structure.

Some examples include…

— – -

- Any career that requires years of prior professional experience in said career before applying; each new applicant would therefore have 0 years of experience, thus every applicant is unqualified, meaning no successful applicants. Ever.

- Any series that sees some success on a streaming service and ends its first season on a cliffhanger; it’d take outside intervention just to resolve the cliffhanger, and even then it’s almost always a miniseries or graphic novels at best… <cough>Serenity<cough>

- Any baked dessert left to cool on a windowsill; may as well take a good, long sniff, ‘cos you’re never gonna get to actually taste the thing

- Any plan made by Plankton to steal the Krabby Patty™ formula; the moment he appears on-screen, you know it ain’t gonna end well for ‘im…

- Any attempt to abuse the backwards cheat codes in Banjo-Kazooie, with Gruntilda threatening to erase your save file if you push your luck; just try to tell someone that a witch deleted your data, and it’ll go as well as the ol’ beef-flavoured homework excuse…

- Any baked savoury left to cool in a canine daycare service; those adorable little bundles of delight can be pretty effing quick when it comes to tasty edibles, believe me!

- Finding a shiny Chansey in a Safari Zone; talk about a green egg sham!

- Crying “WOLF!!!1!” twice; let it be stated that third time ain’t a charm!

- Leaving one tiny, inconspicuous flaw on the hull of your otherwise fully operational and impenetrable vessel; I mean if a block of ice doesn’t sink you, a kid in a fighter jet haunted by the ghost of his mentor and empowered by the will of the galaxy’ll do it!

— – -

So, there you have it. Class dismissed! 🛎

[langde01]

Understanding the Causes of Low AMH Levels

If you’ve been trying to conceive and have come across the term “AMH” in your fertility evaluations, you’re not alone. AMH, or Anti-Müllerian Hormone, is a crucial marker used to assess a woman’s ovarian reserve—essentially, how many eggs she has left. Low AMH levels can be concerning, especially for women trying to conceive, but understanding the causes can help you make informed decisions about your fertility journey.

What is AMH?

Anti-Müllerian Hormone (AMH) is produced by small follicles in the ovaries. The amount of AMH in your blood gives doctors an idea of your egg reserve. While AMH does not predict the quality of your eggs, it does provide insight into quantity. Low AMH levels suggest a reduced ovarian reserve, which can affect fertility potential.

What Causes Low AMH Levels?

1. Age

One of the most common reasons for low AMH is age. As women get older, the number of eggs naturally declines. This decline usually begins in the late 20s and becomes more significant after age 35.

2. Genetic Factors

Some women may be genetically predisposed to having a lower ovarian reserve. Conditions like Turner syndrome or a family history of early menopause can influence AMH levels.

3. Autoimmune Disorders

Certain autoimmune diseases can attack the ovaries, damaging the follicles and reducing AMH levels. These disorders may go undiagnosed until fertility issues arise.

4. Lifestyle Factors

Smoking, excessive alcohol intake, poor diet, and high levels of stress can negatively impact ovarian health and reduce AMH levels.

5. Medical Treatments

Chemotherapy, radiation therapy, or ovarian surgeries can damage the ovaries, leading to a significant drop in AMH levels.

6. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) – Exception to the Rule

Interestingly, women with PCOS often have high AMH levels due to an increased number of small follicles. However, in some cases, PCOS can still lead to poor egg quality and irregular ovulation.

7. Endometriosis

Women with endometriosis may experience reduced ovarian reserve due to inflammation or surgical treatment for endometriotic cysts, which can lead to lower AMH levels.

What Should You Do If You Have Low AMH?

Low AMH levels do not mean pregnancy is impossible—they simply indicate that time might be a critical factor. There are many fertility treatment options available, such as:

IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization)

Ovarian stimulation protocols tailored for low AMH

Fertility preservation through egg freezing

Final Thoughts by Dr. Swapnil Langde

Every woman’s fertility journey is unique. At our fertility clinic, we take a personalized approach to help you understand your AMH levels and explore all possible options. Early assessment and intervention can make a significant difference.

If you’ve been diagnosed with low AMH or are worried about your fertility, book a consultation today. Together, we’ll take the next step toward your dream of parenthood.

[jinxed-sinner]

@malu897 I went full zoology nerd in the replies which made my response too long but here's my understanding of this and how it would apply to Val. Everything else is going to be under a cut because 1, I have a lot of thoughts on this and 2, bug pictures (specifically, pictures I took of an injured monarch butterfly a few years ago). Also no hate, I just remembered that I know a weird amount about bug anatomy/biology lol.

Bugs have incredibly simple nervous systems. Because of this when they feel pain it's closer to general discomfort (for example, a grasshopper having a leg torn off would feel more discomfort than what we think of when we think of pain). They just don't have the nervous system required to feel pain like vertebrates like humans and fish do.

With moths and butterflies specifically, they'll be able to tell if they're missing a wing (and I think it's also worth mentioning here that moths and butterflies typically have four wings, not two; they have a pair of forewings and a pair of hindwings). After a certain amount of time, I'd assume they would just get used to the discomfort (which also happens with humans. I'm so used to my joints hurting that it doesn't bother me until something slips out of place). The primary reason I assume this is because I took care of an injured monarch butterfly that had such badly damaged wings that he couldn't fly, but he still tried to fly. I don't think he knew there was anything wrong with his wings at that point, because bugs operate purely on instinct, and a butterfly's instinct is to fly. For context here's what this butterfly looked like when I was taking care of him:

I have no idea what happened but his left wings looked like a crumpled piece of paper (and felt like a dead leaf) and his right wings were badly torn up, both of which made him completely unable to fly (and trust me, he tried incredibly hard to fly).

I would assume a similar thing would happen if a moth had injured wings; it'd be unable to fly but still try its hardest to fly. This is all because their nervous systems are so much simpler than ours. I also don't think it'd hurt a moth if you tore out its fluff, because moth fluff is just uniquely shaped scales that are fluffy. It'd cause some discomfort, but not pain how we typically think of it. Interestingly if a bug does lose a leg, their other legs become hypersensitive so they don't lose their other ones.

With Val, and other insectoid based demons, they do feel pain like vertebrates do. This is seen both in Val and in Niffty. This tells me that they have more human nervous systems, instead of having the nervous system of an insect. Val would absolutely experience pain if you tore off one of his wings, because he experiences pain when he has his fluff torn off. With him sitting on his wings, I was essentially assuming it'd be like sitting on your shirt and accidentally choking yourself with it. Not enough pressure to cause pain, but enough to be uncomfortable.

Outside of that, he does risk tearing off a wing by sitting on them, which would cause him an extreme amount of pain if his reaction to Niffty tearing off a piece of his fur is anything to go by (and if his wings are like his antennae, they won't just regrow once he's lost one. Since we don't know exactly how sinners' healing after an injury works and what they can heal/grow back though, it's hard to say). He also generally risks damaging the structure, because moth wings are made of scales and veins (kinda like a leaf). It'd probably be harder to do, since moths irl are small and that makes their wings easier to damage while Val is 10 feet tall, which probably gives his wings more structure. This is assuming Val's wings still have the same structure as a regular moth though, which they very well may not.

Underrated detail about Val: he literally does not care about sitting on his wings and does it regularly (both when they're draped around him as a cape and when they're just limp behind him)

[zahri-melitor]

Okay, thought experiment where we DO fully remove All Steph from the DC timeline and how that changes plots and events (or ‘Steph only ever appears in ‘Tec 647-649, is a one appearance character, retires when she’s told to’).

This is not saying Steph’s a bad character. It’s more an examination of how she is, aside from Batgirl 2009 and Batgirls, very much a supporting character, and under the conceit of “remove a character, what changes in the timeline”, your answer for Steph is “not a great deal”.

Tim might date Ariana a bit longer, but it’s not going to make a huge difference, given they break up during Aftershock and there’s no way this relationship survived No Man’s Land. Maybe they’re on-again a bit more before the end.

Tim then probably dates Star during Brentwood, because Dixon couldn’t leave Tim without a girl for a hot second in case we started getting ideas about him not being completely heterosexual

Tim/Darla probably actually happens or is more flirted with at Louis E. Grieves.

Knightfall – no changes, aside from the fact Tim never gets buried alive with Arthur Brown.

Contagion / Legacy – no changes, Steph doesn’t participate

Final Night – Tim probably is alone, doesn’t have anyone to squabble with

Cataclysm/Aftershock – not a whole lot here. We never get the Huntress/Spoiler team up, which is sad. Maybe we get a Huntress/Azrael team up instead (ahahahahahahahaha can you imagine)

We never get the pregnancy plot (hopefully)

Steph doesn’t feature in No Man’s Land proper. No changes.

Officer Down – Steph doesn’t appear

Steph doesn’t exist, so Bruce never breaks Tim’s trust by telling someone his identity in Robin 87. Bruce probably just sulks about Alfred not being there and waits until Tim pops up. Alternatively, Bruce sends Cass to go look for Tim, which is still the broken trust but less fraught as there’s no background fight over ‘I can never tell you my identity’ and Cass is with Babs anyway.

Early Cass & Steph team ups – either Cass gets a civilian friend before Brenda to be friends with, and/or Cass and Tim get more early on team ups and Tim starts trusting her earlier as Cass knows Tim’s ID, and/or (interestingly enough) timeline would let Dinah introduce Cass to Mia, and we give Cass some more of her own supporting cast/friendships.

Joker: Last Laugh – Cass probably gets Steph’s appearances, rather than Cass being banned from any theme villains, due to the urgency

Gotham Knights #22 – Cass gets this detective training session with Bruce on account of the theme villain thing in J:LL and it’s good because Cass needs more detective training anyway

Batman: Family – Cass or Dinah or Helena get a bit more to do here.

Bruce Wayne: Murderer/Fugitive – Helena probably gets Steph’s bits, or Dinah just does more.

World Without Young Justice: it’s Cass, not Steph here, and Cass is still Batgirl. We see the world doesn’t have a Robin (which is realistically what would happen without a 1989 Tim). This plays into later Kon/Cass.

Cass also goes to Zandia.

Steph’s not in Hush.

Now for the big one. War Games.

I think you can go two ways with no Steph in War Games. 1. War Games doesn’t happen (which doesn’t really make sense, the Bat office used Steph as an expendable to kick things off here, rather than this being an outgrowth of Steph as a character). 2. Someone else initiates War Games. Your two best options are either: Orpheus messes up on his gang infiltration and something like the shootout meeting still occurs; Jason reappears JUST slightly earlier and his initial moves for control of the underground initiate the shootout meeting. Probably deliberately to kill off gang heads, rather than accidentally like it was for Steph. His efforts for this may not be revealed during War Games, he’s just a shadowy figure causing problems.

Helena probably also gets to feature in War Games, a plotline about gangs and mafia in Gotham, a topic she’s only JUST SLIGHTLY related to, rather than sitting it out for unclear reasons.

Black Mask May not torture anyone other than Orpheus, but if they still sacrifice a character here to make it ‘real’ I suspect Holly Robinson goes instead. (This then has knock on effects over in Catwoman but nowhere else)

There is no Robin 4 while Tim is ‘retired’. The school shooting at Louis E. Grieves and the gang warfare in the streets are what convince Jack that Tim isn’t safe either way, Tim returns to being Robin on schedule. Alternatively, Tim returns to being Robin after Identity Crisis, under the intense angst of “even being retired didn’t save my Dad (for some reason Tim would still have been out that evening), Dad told me to be a hero”.

War Games still happens – Tim and Cass may or may not move to Bludhaven afterwards. Tim probably still needs that break from Gotham. Babs probably still leaves town if the Clocktower gets blown up, and thus Cass moving also makes sense. Also they wanted a pretty clean slate for Bruce to angst over Jason.

If not, Tim and Cass stay in Gotham, Cass still ends up on her roadtrip, we come to Infinite Crisis the same way anyway.

Nothing bad happens with Leslie. There is no character assassination. She remains in Gotham. YAY!

Babs never shows Charlie Steph’s autopsy photos. Maybe she uses Jason’s. Maybe she just…doesn’t do this.

Cass doesn’t hallucinate Steph. Maybe she has visions of someone else, or none at all, or someone else like Boston Brand turns up.

Fast forward to 2008. No Steph in Gotham Underground (which she does nothing in anyway, it’s just a tease about a return)

We skip the Steph returns plot as no Steph. (This bit doesn’t make a lot of difference, fewer assassins).

Steph working with Ulysses Armstrong to ‘test’ Tim – either Bruce can arrange this nonsense himself, or you know, Ulysses is an annoying villain anyway. Maybe HE just causes problems on purpose. Maybe the back of Tim’s head never gets burnt. That would be nice.

Batgirl Volume 2: Steph does not feature in this.

Battle for the Cowl: Steph essentially sits this out apart from complaining that Tim told her to retire.

Batgirl Volume 3: three big ways this could have gone. 1. Cass gets an ongoing again, after all that character rehab done in Volume 2, instead of being shipped off to exile/Hong Kong. Cass plays Batgirl to Damian’s Robin, which would create interesting dynamics. 2. The slot is used for the Batwoman ongoing that had been in development hell since 2007, Rucka gets 26 issues rather than 10. 3. We get Babsgirl two years earlier. Oracle: The Cure did what the name promised on the tin, follows through on the old Brainiac tumour plot. (Ugh)

Cass PROBABLY still plays Batgirl to Damian’s Robin in option 2, with only sporadic appearances in titles not written by Morrison. Option 3 obviously has some Dick and Babs conflict over the fact she can now walk, Babs probably still runs a Birds of Prey during this time. Cass likely still gets shipped off.

Nu!52 happens. No Steph.

Rebirth. I’m unfamiliar with most of Steph’s appearances from her reappearance onwards, but the thing everyone always says is that she basically shows up as “Tim’s Girlfriend” or “StephnCass”. Cass doesn’t appear as a double feature. Tim’s obviously dating other people. Scanning the wiki entries doesn’t show me much of anything loadbearing that wouldn’t just be written as Cass by herself. Steph apparently talks an OMAC-Tim down at one point? Maybe his favourite, most trusted brother (Dick) could do that instead.

[sublime-beyond-loss]

‘I have you on repeat, grasping for tender moments I hold onto like delicate keepsakes 

They are so few and far between And I'm grateful for the memorability of each moment 

Moments wrapped in romance that end with bitter sunrises and goodbyes 

Moments so fragile and rare that I wonder If they would have the same taste if not such a delicacy 

But I'd still devour you as I lay here and recall years of wavering emotions 

Suppressed desires and volcanic explosions that retreat into dormancy I wonder could we ever flow together 

Or are we two twin souls finding each other in the wrong lifetime’

-------

Soooo this got me thinking. This reversed lyrics is often seen as yet another instance of the narrator being the gayest thing in the parable, but considering that this whole sequence in the hole is a dream/daydream Stanley’s having while the narrator isn’t present, maybe this is the closest thing we get to seeing what Stanley’s internal thoughts are outside of the player’s control and the narrator’s own unreliable narration.

Dude’s just as gay for the narrator as the narrator is for him lmao.

It also shows that Stanley has one hell of a vivid imagination. It’s a pretty common theory that the narrator is the one holding Stanley hostage within the parable and keeping him looping forever, but maybe its the other way around. If we take the apartment ending at face value, maybe the parable really is a vivid escapist fantasy that Stanley came up with to cope with his boring life, one that grew out of hand and functionally became real at some point, or maybe the experiments that were being run on the workers in the office caused it to become real at some point.

Interestingly, the figurine ending is the only ending now after a patch that cannot be replayed or looped. We know that the narrator is ready to move on, and yet the parable continues to loop regardless. Stanley is too invested in in it and the narrator to give it up. And despite what the real person ending implies, we get multiple instances of Stanley asserting his own agency outside of the player’s control in Ultra Deluxe with him refusing to destroy the bucket and the bucket version of the escape pod ending being something he does entirely of his own volition without the player’s input. He is not quite the empty shell he seem to be at first glance. And if the bucket escape pod ending is a reflection of what would happen if the narrator could be brought to the ending, maybe its not that the narrator would let Stanley go, but Stanley would let him go.

Boy would that explain the narrator’s existential dread too. Despite all of the power and narrative control he’s been given over the parable and Stanley himself, deep down he knows he’s just a fiction that Stanley came up with and that the moment Stanley stops paying attention to him, it’s over for him. That is why he is so loud, angry, and sarcastic whenever Stanley strays from the path pre-UD. He must force Stanley to keep paying attention to him even as he strays further and further from the narrator’s intended purpose of telling his escapist fantasy story of freedom. By the time the UD content hits though, he has seemingly mellowed out considerably, having perhaps realized that he doesn’t need to be forceful to keep Stanley’s attention. Maybe he figured out that Stanley is already invested in him and his reactions and that it’s much easier to keep him entertained than he once believed. Considering the lack of choices in the UD content, maybe its a sign that Stanley has gone through some character development too and is no longer interested in pushing the narrator’s buttons and is, more or less, along for the ride with whatever new ideas the narrator comes up with.  

Maybe within the impossible logic of the parable they inhabit, they essentially created each other. The narrator in his loneliness and inability to make choices, created Stanley, and Stanley, looking for an escape from the boredom and lack of choice in his life, made the narrator.

Gay. 

[ceiling-karasu]

I'll have to try that out with the eyes, soon.

Thank you very much for the compliment about the eyes! However, what I pretty much do for them is plop down the symmetry tool after I make the head and other features, and just move the symmetry around and draw circles/ovals again and again and again and again and again and again until I finally have something I think may be decent. This can take days.

And then after that I have to see if I might want to edit the eyes to produce that little arch at the bottom or something.

I'm still trying to figure out making these eyelids in a way that looks nice.

Also just realized that their eyes are different colors.

I want to experiment with different eye shapes at some point.

I might wind up making a bunch of eyes and saving them as a reference. I already have a single layer in sketchbook specifically labeled 'mustache' after all.

Theoretically I should know how to create the head with the early helmet. I have so many layers of this, after all.

Unfortunately, since I was so focused on the WW2 helmet going with an oval face shape, I simply cannot fathom it on a round shape. It just does not look good to me, lol.

On the other hand, I may have accidentally solved the issue another way while making half a joke. I read that hedgehogs have fur around the face, so I added some fur. Interestingly enough, the fur does seem to make the face seem rounder.

So this (mind you, these look so much better with the quills):

Compared to this;

So that may have solved my problem, but I'll see how I feel about it once I manage to get to moving the quill layers into the other helmet layers.

Does not really match the feel of the helmet though, so I need to figure out how to change that next. Then again it is not like they will always be up so close to the front.

What I really want to know is how Dalnim fared/fares during the hedgehog quilling period, where a young hedgehog loses their weaker baby spines and grows in the adult spines (although it might also happen periodically like molting). Although, I can figure that this is what his what his father meant when he said Dalnim's quills would get stronger, if he just assumed that his adult quills would be more like a regular hedgehog's quills. The weak quills might make the adults question his age, though.

I have seen pictures of hedgehogs with genetic conditions that cause them not to grow new quills, or shed them faster than a normal hedgehog usually sheds adult quills, resulting in bald spots. Definitely recessive, though.

I might actually drop the Fibromyalgia idea for the one hedgehog, though. I found a genetic condition called Wobbly Hedgehog Syndrome that causes a lot of weakness and pain in the limbs of a hedgehog. This would be a lot better to use and kind of feels like it would way less disrespectful than the original idea. Plus I can play around with it how I like, so that maybe it shortens the lifespan but doesn't kill them in two years.

WHS is also found in European and pygmy African hedgehogs, but I can pretend Amur hedgehogs in Korea can get it as well. Or they are a cross somewhere down the line.

I have a link to the PDF of Journey to the West if you would like? https://chine.in/fichiers/jourwest.pdf

You don't need to worry about the poetry looking sections, they just summarize the text before it since this was originally supposed to be performed in the marketplace to the public, I think.

I'm also reading Prey by Michael Crichton, which is alright. My SO and his siblings had to read it for an English class years ago, so sometimes they make comments about it.

Warhammer 40K books are good at keeping my interest so far if I don't mind paying out the nose to buy them from some guy in Europe half the time. Although I hear some books can vary on being interesting.

Yeah, sometimes eating when you are hungry is a bad idea. If I get nauseated while also extremely hungry I have to drink non diet coke to get that blood sugar up a bit before switching to food.

Hello :))

Here's a small sketch of Siwoo (Haven't drawn this man in ages)

A quick explanation of the sketch:

The Raliaen Mountain Crescent Base doesn't have a formal financial department or anything related to it. Aera has tried to ask for a financial department to be established, but the Central government told her that they can't spare any for her as her base doesn't need one. Aera knows that's a lie since she and Hyeonsik are stuck maintaining the budgets and resource allocation of the base. Eventually, Aera is unable to keep up due to higher number of suspected enemy spies being reported. Hyeonsik hates to do anything related to finance beause he hates money (long story). So, he just gives them to Siwoo who had studied a bit of accounting before. Siwoo is genuinely still confused on why he is given the documents. Hyeonsik does actually give Siwoo a bonus for doing them, so Siwoo can't complain.

One of many reasons Siwoo needs coffee.