#the idea of their vibes being completely different and constantly bantering

[berryblu-ocs]

pictured: the besties being absolutely incapable of having common haircuts (theyve totally been chopping each other´s hair since the first time they got their hands on scissors and lack of adult supervision)

[all-pacas]

so curious if you have any particular thoughts on any or all of the later iterations of the ducklings (dad's new stepkids)! i don't really see them discussed individually in fandom but i'm so fond of some of them...

i DO love all of them with one exception, let me see what i can ramble about!!

THIRTEEN: She's so good. I remember when I first watched the show I was more neutral towards her, she got a lot of attention and I missed my original trio, and then I had the impression she was just… constantly bitter and miserable and Huntington's!! But actually! She's so silly. She's always joking around, she really doesn't take things that seriously, she has great banter, she's very dry; she actually tends to joke off and deflect rather than wallow and I'm into that. I love that she… one thing I do love about the second team is that they genuinely get along (what a fun change of pace l o l), they're kind of chill, I think they all go out for pizza sometimes and don't invite House. I am, as my tumblr might suggest, kind of a sucker for familial trauma sooooo she also hits me there.

TAUB: I genuinely do not understand the hate and apathy. He's funny! He has charisma, yes, really, like he's a likeable dude, he manages to come across as genuine and funny even when he's being lowkey the worst. He's kind to his colleagues, he can keep up with House, and he fills the "Foreman" niche of shooting down ideas but like, in a solid, smart way. I've mentioned his humility before and I will again: he does struggle sometimes with his demotion, but he went from department head level to fellow working with 20-year-olds with good humor and no ego. And he's very funny.

KUTNER: I don't want to make it sound like I dislike him, because I do not, but I don't have quite the strong vibe for him as others do. But he's fun! He's so creative and such a weird thinker, he's easy going, he's friendly and affectionate and supportive of his friends, he's just here to have a good time and that's fantastic. Kal Penn is also just another really charming and funny actor; Kutner could have come off as a sort of haha he's the weird ditzy one but ends up feeling very well-rounded. I like how he wears his traumas sort of on his sleeve, how he's basically the only fucking character on the show who can be like "yep, here's what's wrong with me, I'm dealing with it" without like. [points at the rest of the cast]

MASTERS: She's fun!! I don't have very strong opinions about her (it's more of a S7 thing), but I think she's a fantastic breath of fresh air: by the time she joins, Taub has been with House 3 years and Chase and Foreman 5-6, everyone is kind of compacent and bitter and Settled In. She does a great job shaking things up, not just by being an Idealist (that's a character type we've gotten before) but by being young, a student, by just being… completely opposite the rest of the team. I think she brings some fun new dynamics to the group, I think it's great how she lets us show some different sides to the characters: there's this random scene where Taub is patiently walking her through a procedure in the background of a completely different scene, and I love seeing that.

PARK: Underrated. There's parts of her writing I don't like (the hahaha she's so criiiiinge parts), but I love how punchy she is, how strong-willed and secure in herself, even though she's awkward, and young (technically another student). She doesn't have time for much development, but she does get some: she's noticeably more confident and equal to the others by the end of the season, and I do adore her and Chase's odd friendship (even if I don't like the ship). You know how Chase had to be fired because he'd never quit, and how he trailed happily along behind House for years? To me, that's Park after the series, but with Chase MD, and less of a lapdog and more. an attack dog. She will punch people for him. Love her.

ADAMS: The closest I come to a character I don't like, I'm just… very, very neutral about her. She has some hinted aspects to her I find fascinating — the rich girl with anger issues, who chose to work in the prison system — but in other ways… I think she's the real victim of S8 turning into the final season. I'm just not that engaged with her, but I don't think it's her fault.

[sugar-petals]

Group Sex With SuperM

SUMMARY: creating a group chat is all it takes.

↳ A/N. yep, we’re going there. 

words. 14k

WARNINGS ⚠️ friends to lovers hc, porn with plot, idol au, sex w/ all members individually and together, dom/sub dynamics, corruption kink, sexting, blowjobs & cunnilingus, gaping, graphic, pegging, bondage, light foot fetish, sex toys, spitroasting (m receiving), brat taming, dick riding, protected sex, doggystyle, cuddling aftercare

curious about an eightsome are we

understood

how’s the state of things then?

last september you decided to open an entire group chat just for planning your juicy sexual activities together

and oh lord is it active

and full of ideas

and explicit videos

and emojis

and excitement

yesterday taemin sent a clip of lusciously covering himself in champagne foam for you

wearing close to nothing

in fact just a piece of gauze, a snake-shaped necklace, and probably a bit of perfume

oh boy

watching that was an out-of-body experience for sure

the entire chat basically imploded with reactions

but hey hey

not so fast

we need to go through everything from the start

to see how all these utterly historic events happened to unfold

so where did all that come from?

first off 

befriending super m outside work (eating together, fooling around, bingwatching stuff, you know)

...means there’s no point nor chance in having a permanent favorite with a group like this

every member truly is the creme de la creme

super m is the package of the entire packages

they are so legendary you can bias each member for one day of the week 

and never run out of that pure bliss

in fact 

you all agreed to do exactly that on a regular basis to get to know each other casually

it just naturally happened

seven days seven members that’s just logical

you can’t always hang out together in full attendance so you split up your times and set specific days

you change that routine very often depending on your individual moods

but it usually goes like this because you want to develop closer bonds with them one-on-one

so this is how it ends up

mondays you work out with xuxi. oh, that sexy smiley man. his body is the ultimate bomb. is there something better than doing sit-ups next to him? anybody’s sports motivation would go through the roof. and if there’s someone you call to share a pile of food with? it’s just gotta be him. being with yukhei is self-care.

tuesdays, you visit ten to check out his latest dance moves. and: to have a huge cuddle session with the cats. sometimes, you watch whatever series you’re in the mood for. it’s always a time to slow down and mend your sore muscles from monday anyway. you think ten is so interesting and talented, and super pretty, truly one of a kind.

on wednesdays jongin and you often end up on long midnight walks with the dogs or you both look after his cute nieces. meeting up at the river han is a staple, you get ice cream and snacks. you adore kai because he’s a sweetheart and steadfast person, and admittedly... so damn hot, holy hell. being with him makes you feel great.

thursday is baekhyun day and full of cheeriness as you’d expect. long hours of gaming, cheeky skinship, banter, and pizza eating await you at his apartment. you adore this mochi for his everything, he makes you laugh uncontrollably so much. sometimes, you also comfort him when he doesn’t feel good about himself or exhausted from practice. he will sing anything you want, baekhyun is like your personal 24/7 radio station.

fridays it’s time for the studio. mark is crafting his most fire bars and loves to have you around there. you inspire him a lot. he’s just completely astounding and the sweetest to you. friday most people would go clubbing, but super m just has to meet up in the studio. no paparazzi, and the music is obviously danceable. i’m telling you: this mob can jop, duh.

saturday is for handsome taeyong who loves coming to your home. cooking, organizing, doing the laundry, and browsing youtube together is the best thing. taeyong is the shyest goodest boy and a great listener. he gives great advice and is the epitome of respectful. you just vibe very well together.

sunday you dedicate to taemin. you watch artsy films, experiment with outfits, and he plays the piano for you so expertly. man, you are lucky. he’s like a fairy to you, and a connoisseur, a mythical figure almost. since he’s a newly-found cat dad, you easily fill your day playing with the most interesting kitten that is lee kkoong. sometimes, you even meet shinee members dropping by.

so yes this is what paradise looks like

and they all love to engage with you in their own way and you develop favorite ways to spend time, they put so much effort into this

it goes without saying that you all realize how hard you’re crushing as the weeks pass

like can you imagine

all the hormones i swear

you’ve already been joking to them that you have seven boyfriends some months ago

well the prophecy is fulfilled faster than you can blink

when you meet up as eight for a movie night at baekhyun’s, the atmosphere feels pretty frisky

because lucas is sending you ten thousand glances and certainly nobody misses that

if this guy is laughing at your every word i mean

meanwhile taeyong is having a nervous meltdown at your every comment about the movie, it’s ridiculous, he’s smitten as fuck, he looks at you like you’re an actual goddess

mark keeps on making glimmering eyes at you as well, and he asks you if you want popcorn every two minutes

baekhyun is all curled up close to your lap and not even watching the movie because his face is almost nuzzled into your sweater for fuck’s sake

taemin has spent the entire preperation in complete frenzy making sure there are scented candles everywhere and the snacks are exquisite and costly. mother taemresa? at full throttle. he even used his own damn credit card.

meanwhile kai suffers from his fidgety legs, constant hair fixing and even more inability to concentrate on the movie 

because damn, he knows he wants your attention. he literally came around with the tightest shirt he owns so there’s that. you can see every little muscle doing its thing when he does as much as breathe. kai is now well aware he came to impress. it won’t take him a lot to realize he wants to be even closer to you than doing midnight walks.

ten is so firmly snuggled up next to you, he might as well be your cat himself. if ten starts acting like a clingy feline instead of being in roast mode, you know he’s lovestruck i’m telling ya

needless to say

the mood in the room is hard to ignore

hell there are romance candles everywhere all those hecking rose fumes are to blame

surprise surprise all the members try to sit as close as possibly to you the more the movie progresses

even abandoning the couch and seats to sit on the ground in front of you instead

“you want popcorn?”

“like some more popcorn?”

“here, have my popcorn!“

“more popcorn?”

“hey do you want popcorn?”

from all sides, constantly

the m in super m stands for making sure you have popcorn

you never run out

like when the leading lady is pulling out a cigarette in those old hollywood flicks and at least twenty guys are scurrying to offer a lighter

i’m exaggerating but

nobody even knows what kind of movie they’re watching tonight though

the elephant in the room is trumpeting too loud to understand the dialogue

you’re surrounded by seven big ole hotties who have fallen for you

it was inevitable

it’s more than clear to everyone that they all like you and you couldn’t be any more fluttered yourself

let the hunger games begin

i’m jopping i mean i’m joking

this is not the wwe

it’s pretty clear to the boys that if they fight you’re gonna be so unhappy and your quality time together is ruined

you adore them all, and they’d be regretful about hurting their own bonds 

and anyway

if it came down to it and the bad blood was really escalating um...

...ten would destroy all of the competition

there’s no denying

by the simple virtue of his badassery and winning disease

quickly reducing all his opponents to a pile of dust so fine-grained, the great freddie mercury himself would resurrect to sing the soundtrack in the background and pump his fist

imagine that. superm actually being gladiators i mean wasn’t that the entire jopping mv

baekhyun would try to pull the leader authority card and use his hapkido martial arts skill but ten would obliterate him anyway so

even if taemin put on a dark robe and drew a salt circle to summon a million snakes from hell, ten would win the fight to a fault

but that’s too apocalyptic and outside of that thought experiment the boys are actually kinda shy so... let’s scratch that

there are seven days of the week with good reason 

you ease the uncertainty and tension by saying you’d truly fail as a tv bachelorette

everyone understands that deciding would be impossible and cheating is shit

why give someone a rose and break 6 hearts when you can hand out a whole damn bouquet

it’s more stylish my friend

and for what reason would ten want to face off against taemin and his army of snakes in the first place. they’re ten’s greatest inspiration

nor does kai have any tighter shirts 

he already ran out, he brought his A game from the get-go

on top of that the popcorn is empty there’s no more to offer

so you remain with the idea to just keep your daily routine

xuxi monday, ten tuesday and so on

keeps everything in order

it’s fair

plus it doesn’t mess with their schedules

usually unless a big award show is coming up but that can be re-planned in advance as well

you know... things can develop in their own timing with each member

it’d be awkward to expect everyone to be on the same stage at once

baekhyun is comfortable with all kinds of back hugs while taeyong and taemin are still completely flustered and turn all wobbly at just a greeting wave

you know what i mean

it’s already clear everyone loves you very differently 

some members are more straightforward, others take it slow, it’s just a normal thing

that’s when the group chat is born

it’s still very sfw 

compared to how explicit it’ll be in the future ahem

and everyone is overcautious with writing something except baekhyun, the eternal extrovert

for now you keep each other updated on how it’s all going with trivial details

earlier you just had individual chats and baekhyun arranged the group meetings since he knows the schedule best

now it’s all in one spot so that works

everyone’s curiosity is quenched at least a little bit

and they see each other anyway and put their heads together

baekhyun will be the most open about how far your skinship slowly develops followed by lucas and kai who oggle each other in their usual tom and jerry manner

which you have an eye on

you tell the members something very important for when they’re envious

or feel the need to one-up or catch up

it’s the sign to get closer to you and that they’re ready for taking another step. that’s literally what jealousy is all about

that advice helps them out a lot actually

kai takes that to heart in particular because he knows he’s prone and feels bad about it

and they also learn from ten who carries a quiet happiness with confidence that doesn’t need comparison, but he can also talk very honestly about how he’s standing with you to the point

ten knows how it’s done

as expected of such a competent man

like he’s kissed your hands very lightly but he doesn’t feel the need to show it off all day

and he also leads by example together with taemin and taeyong how one can give compliments even when not being involved in something 

“you’re looking adorable together“ as taemin would often say about you hanging out with kai or baekhyun

a lot of praise culture is developing in the group chat

you like to see it 

and now for the other elephant in the room

as for who will ask you to sleep with him first

(and mind you at this point they’re all walking around with condoms in their backpacks and jackets)

believe it or not

after the finishing touches on his latest mixtape (oh yes), and those tracks have you feeling some kind of way oh shit, mark gathers all his courage

yes it’s mark lee 

literally he steps into the blaze of bravery of jongin when he first put on a crop top

and gets out a little “can we... some time... you know...” after you’re having some pretzel sticks together and awkwardly sitting around

oh what's gonna happen next huh?

you say you’ve been thinking about it a lot

that he has a great body doesn’t go unseen

and tell him how you imagine it with him

long story short you’ll have your first quickie in the sound booth that night

cutting straight to the chase

him steadily penetrating you from behind, you leaning closely with your back to his chest

just standing and enjoying the rhythm

that dick. is amazing.

oh god, mark lee

long, curved, smooth, a classic

meanwhile your fave rapper is definitely going through it

his arms tell you everything

that’s an embrace for the books

he’s hugging you like his life depends on it

you can just take in how he’s been showering twice today this guy is clean as fuck he smells so good

getting off from shampoo and fabric softener is not what you expected but it definitely makes you clench

you both know he’s not gonna last for more than six minutes and that’s ok

that’s a lot of long-held frustration released into that condom

and a lot of passion put into how he puts his guitar fingers to work on your clit afterwards

jimi ‘lee’ hendrix has arrived

oh yeah mark, you fucking treat, fuck it up

that way you won’t last long either since you guide his finger tips to your favorite spot and the motherfucker completely goes for it

“like this, like, um?”

and he goes off with the wrist

oh shit

it’s all kept so short and simple and you’re on the oldest mustard-colored studio couch that ever existed but mark lee is mark fucking lee nothing can obstruct his quality

like this guy has some serious skills with the angles

that orgasm is gonna get some moans you didn’t know you were capable of out of you

never wasting time, that guy is he

mark definitely fucks like he raps. fast and good

you cool down together looking each other in the eyes, forehead to forehead, for like fifteen minutes, and you give each other little chaste kisses all over your faces and he melts every time

your little rendezvous was definitely so needed 

you ask if you can bring some vibes to play around with and a watermelon next time

you don’t have to ask twice

mark is so damn happy

and the timing was right

straightforward and spontaneous. that definitely works well with mark

no complaints, you go home feeling comfortably refreshed. you’ve told him he could tell the others or wait to do it, this is up to his comfort because he is shy

neither happens

after just one glance at him the next day while the group is doing a photoshoot

baekhyun already knows mark slept with you 

he just knows

and makes a loud “ohh wow, you did it” noise

ten takes two only glances to understand what’s going on too

mark nods and the whole group is highstrung for the entire day

like a hive of bees oh yes

kai is massively proud of raising mark so well but also really surprised

unlike taemin who calmly advised mark on many things in advance

guess where mark’s fingering skills originate from

he took some secret pointers from the king 

taeyong is shook at his rap buddy’s singleminded grit to just spontaneously ask you

while baekhyun...

is keeping it together repeating the anti-jealousy mantra you gave him in his mind

“jealousy means to get closer jealousy means to get closer jealousy means to get closer jealousy means to get closer....“

it makes him realize oh god he really wants to be inside of you badly as well

you ain’t dumb, you see his change of tone from cute to sexy in the group chat even if he might not notice

baekhyun is trying extra hard to make you react to him

he posts so many cute selfies with kissy faces

needless to say taeyong’s time slot gets postponed to next thursday while you visit baekhyun this evening

it works for taeyong because he still needs to think some things through

the news overwhelmed him a little and he is shy about meeting up but that’s not a problem for you

and it’s better to get together with your mochi sooner because you both know there’s a lot of banging to do

like seriously

your mood tells you that candy’s on the menu today

oh yeah. it’s time to be all over your clingy lil’ honey bunny 

there’s not much endless wooing involved it goes to the point very fast after you arrive at his home

you just wanna stop pretending and fuck like animals and see his brain melt from it

remember how baekhyun once said he doesn’t fancy nice girls

that’s what he meant by that

mattress earthquake

he wants you fully riled up with arousal and addicted to touching and grabbing him

yeah baekhyun gets off on your desire

that’s not hard to accomplish when he makes big puppy eyes and puts his tongue on your neck

with that gomez addams shit... kissing up your arm and then popping off as soon as he gets there

congrats morticia

here is a man who can handle ya

he’s being so slobbery and moany about it that it knocks the breath out of you 

that shit is so good

baekhyun is not just a pro at giving head my friend it’s also giving neck

and unlike mark, may god have mercy on you, baekhyun keeps on going and going and kissing and kissing and he wants to lick up all of you so bad 

we know how needy and stamina-heavy this fella is

baekhyun is super m’s most insatiable member by fucking far

he’s like just give it to me and you’re like ok here we go

this guy is burning up oh god

that’s an evening of ten thousand positions, fearless cumplay, and a lot of face-sitting

super m’s most unleashed tongue right here

thank god you worked on your fitness with xuxi otherwise you couldn’t do this

he’s moaning in some harmonic scales or something it’s a whole concert

baekhyun is fully at it with you in every room of his flat with his whole neck and underarms looking mighty veiny

yeah he even carries you around to make it short and simple he’s one impatient bun

he can lift up sehun bridal style so no worries

mochi is smol and thin but he won’t drop you i promise

he’s fueled by horny boyfriend hormones and wants to give you the greatest night of all nights

and hit all the amazing spots

baekhyun aims to make your pussy lips throb and fall completely in love with him

and the bridge of his nose if you get what i’m saying

he’s also versatile in his clothing choices

if you say keep your nerdy glasses on, oh yeah they stay on

just a little challenge to see if you can ride him hard enough to see them fall off

and that dick is not some extra long lasso mark lee calibre

so he can really bend it more and thrust with ease at many angles

talking about mark

he regrets not asking you earlier but you tell baekhyun that this way was much better because you unceremoniously skipped to the fucking instead of messing around

if it wasn’t for mark’s courage to break the ice even with a choppy sentence 

you’d still be awkwardly looking each other in the eyes while munching pizza

all hail mark lee nervous legend

this way, baekhyun goes all out with fewer restraint and the burden of being first with making the impression that comes with it

we all know he’s too self-conscious for his own mochi good so that’s a better way to start out

this way baekhyun will have sex with you until he’s passed out on his bed

knocking him out like that might as well become your favorite hobby

even minutes after your tongue still feels like it’s knotted together with his honestly, the muscle memory is kicking in

and this must be the most dick thrusts you’ve ever gotten in one night

baekhyun really wants to be all inside you, make you feel him

if the condom broke at least his baby will be easy to identify from day one

it’ll come out and belt a perfect G#5

he gave it all my god you stopped counting the times you came your pussy is just dripping wet it feels crazy

and his voice has become all raspy i—

that was baekhyun’s hardest vocal run yet i swear

the contraception shelf in the convenience store next to his house is close to empty

but there’s no need to buy more

what you two perverts have been up to is enough for comfortably going through 10 years of celibacy

baekhyun is content and sleeps like a baby

you hold your bun for like two hours afterwards and never want to let him go

you are as wobbly as taeyong after getting a head pat from you

and the most well-kissed girl in this city tonight

both sets of lips

what a smoochy boyfriend

you even get the chance to jerk baekhyun off in his half-sleep after he wakes up and asks you to put your hand in his pants

guess who opens his mouth very wide to lick his own semen off your fingers with some really obscene noises

it’s his royal nastiness byun baekhyun 

who sucks your tiddies to drift back into sleep again

with his hands in your pants

god bless this man

the group chat is sending 👀 emojis all the way throughout the night

your boys know love is in the air

they’re loosening up the timing is right again

you send cute smiling emojis 

a bunch of “ahs” and “ohs” come through via voicemail

and lucas even writes: “so who’s next? 😳”

damn

you reply boldly: “the one asking that”

the group chat becomes a buzzing beehive again

from which you extract that kai is also very interested while ten, taeyong and taemin prefer waiting a little more

but this time you don’t switch time slots since you’ll meet xuxi on monday already 

kai wants to set up something nice and prepare the catering and whatnot (alright you rich man)

so it’s gonna be wednesday as usual with him

so far so good that’s the plan

sunday being taemin day, you get together to read and paint and listen to music

you feel like just doing some sensual kissing with him and taemin is very down

yeah baby he is the kissing king, taemin is hot stuff, he knows exactly what he’s doing, those lips are the pillows at the gates of heaven

losing your mind is a staple when you do that with him

just making out on the couch surrounded by the nicest arrangement of pot plants you’ve ever seen while it rains completely relaxes you and the serotonin is off the charts

he holds you so gently and tastes so good

what is it, rose water or something like that

he even put on his coziest sweater so you’ll love leaning against him

TL;DR taemin is the biggest fucking romantic in the history of SM

that was so seductive you’ll be dreaming about it

applause for lee taemin please

perfect contrasting programme: just hours later

yeah here it goes now

monday starts with xuxi stripping more than he usually does 

at the makeshift gym in his room while he’s on the treadmill

with his hair freshly dyed the most himbo shade of blonde ever

and yeah that’s blonde with an e because yukhei is too sexy to be called a blond. what an ugly word to look at

he’s a blondé

so that’s nice

he’s so dtf you just skip the workout 

time for lubed condoms.

i don’t have to tell you that you literally jump on him 

or that you’ll be dealing with super m’s singlemost biggest equipment

he doesn’t even have to drive it home an inch by himself you’re already riding him

he can’t handle all that gear in the first place

because how do you even develop a technique with such an unrealistic dick

hell how do you even exist like that

so it’s clear who’s taking the lead

all he has to do is work that body but it sort of happens on its own

himbo autopilot

you are going hard and chaotic on this man

xuxi doesn’t even know what hit him

he’s so vocal and excited 

you fuck him while he holds you up, get down on several gym benches, have him bend you forward at the bathroom sink... 

...and you attend business in ten’s room on a desk and window sill

because it’s the most silent there and doesn’t disturb xiaojun’s beauty sleep

ten has discreetly ushered you there and preoccupies himself in the kitchen with the cats

he knows how the game is played

either floor ‘em all or always watch out for others

MVP

but you are secretly wondering what ten is plotting because he has some serious self-control and observation skills

given how tidy his room is... whatever his plans are you can look forward to it

xuxi is definitely suffering from your heavy duty cock destruction in the meantime while being in heaven at the same time

that dick is worn out and dripping 

so much bouncing is even gonna make the biggest boy lose it

milking that orgasm out of him is gonna be so gratifying yum

the deep and defeated moans, my god he really surrenders to the pleasure

wow that was almost as to-the-point as studio sex with mark

no idle talk in nct huh

you clean each other all exhausted and then gobble up three bowls of noodles each

then sleep for two hours in each other’s arms

then do a second round because this guy is really getting you going and yukhei wants to live this monday to the fullest

like this man gives you previously unknown levels of energy

must be the blonde hair. it does sexy things when yukhei is twitching

this time it’s a dick blowing festival

oh yeah

the type where you’re so sloppy with your head bops, he doesn’t even know where to put his hands and needs to think emergency thoughts

oh yeah big dicks make for some nice slurpy noises that sound really plump you know what i mean

he’s gonna realize very soon you do this shit for your own entertainment

and get all kinds of squeaks and faces out of him

only little pauses help him keep up the stamina so he asks you to pull off for a bit every two minutes or so

he has to look elsewhere and distract his mind with thinking about washing the dishes

girl... your tongue has this man sweating major bullets

you’re big on the corruption kink are you

once again 

xuxi is gonna be so shaken and pass the fuck out from cumming

and he thought he was a horny guy

his soul must have left his body and that scalp is probably dead

but bleaching was worth it (he looks like a sleeping angel now)

not to mention banging all over the wayv dorm

ten got a preview of what’s expecting him

not that he doesn’t know he reads you well

lucas promises to return the oral favor next monday and finally collapses entirely in the living room wearing only boxers

nothing new for wayv, great sight for you

not a single workout routine has exhausted xuxi this much

he needs 10 hours of sleep to reboot

“she’s so wild 😲😂😍” is gonna be what he’ll summarize it as in the group chat later

first big boy taken down

the second one follows

wednesday is right around the corner 

oh yes

kai definitely goes off with the preparation you are not ready for this spectacle

he redecorated his entire kitchen and bathroom to perfection with flowers, lanterns, dim light, petals, expensive fabrics draped from the ceiling, and there’s a great view on night time seoul

you can tell he’s best friends with taemin

i mean they’re the greatest entertainers of their time of course their taste is great

always going the extra mile

the black, sheer shirt with a deep cleavage that kai put on is nothing short of a treat

is that a lace choker he’s wearing

and his hair is pushed back lord have mercy

you get pretty weak in the knees at that

the catering leaves nothing to be desired either. a full 3-course sicily-style italian meal with 100% organic ingredients and beautiful basil and thyme garnishings

to set the mood afterwards jongin does what he does best

don’t tell me you didn’t see this one coming

just a chair for you, some music, and him

is this like a whole damn private concert?

he has prepared an entire setlist to thrill you with selected styles of dance

even a rendition of salsa, swing, and tango argentino

i’m telling you...

if kim jongin moves his body for you like that you’ll be fucking hooked and honored and not believe your eyes

what a feast

prepare for a serious case of dropped jaw

and jongin being an absolute daredevil dancing incrementally close to your chair

he incorporates all these little moments of skinship

where he strokes your hair, your jaw, or takes your hands

while at the same time he’s completely destroying it on the dancefloor

with those scorching hips and how he works it on the carpet right in front of you

you’re about to fucking melt

what a time to be alive

the sheer shirt’s buttons are holding onto dear life as do his pants

kai’s movements are becoming extremely ecstatic

what a fucking lapdance 2.0

men have clearly evolved otherwise this wouldn’t be happening

kai dances like a king on a stage but jongin? is god-like when he dances with just one person as the audience

shiit

and because he’s very nervous

he work particularly hard to ace it

in his mind he’s already underneath you judging by how he’s moving

...you can definitely fancy a luscious private concert each wednesday

and for designated activities in the bathroom

he even made a whole 5-hour playlist of the finest songs

so he can make you grind on top of him

don’t tell me kai isn’t the master of courting

king of effort

i don’t have to tell you that this is gonna be the most sensual night you’ve ever had

kai will get to know your body very, very well

those hips never stop do they

the fact that thursday is baekhyun day right after this?

wow aren’t you exhausted

the orgasms just seamlessly continue huh

everything goes on like that 

friday you have a toy-filled, passionate evening at the studio with mark who’s doing the most 

let’s say mark just has good ‘vibes’ indeed

this almost gets as messy as your first time with lucas

have fun cleaning up that couch, canada

what a sex marathon

if you don’t have your period

there’s always a lot of action going on 

or actually. you do catch a break for the weekend

saturday you bake delicious, pistacio and pecan-crusted sticky buns with taeyong 

who also shows you the new fledgelings that have hatched in his apartment

so adorable

sunday you endlessly make out with taemin in the sheets who has of course heard of jongin putting on a show

so he dances for you as well and even does the hands-tied criminal choreo in an especially luscious rendition (aka extra heavy breathing and grinding on the floor, and doing splits that almost rip his pants)

oh yes my love

nothing really happens afterwards you just have dinner completely flustered

if lee taemin dances, sex becomes redundant and doesn’t compare anymore

but really now

the slow burn is unbearable with him for fuck’s sake

taemin knows how to work up the seduction bit by bit

you basically masturbate all evening after returning to your house

god. what to do with this guy

on monday you ravage yukhei’s dick and get all that head 

xuxi is a chaotic fella but he keeps his promises

plus you get the best full-body massage of your life

and for the first time pull out your phone to basically livestream yourself riding him

so the whole chat can watch for five minutes

yep. you learned that courage thing from mark lee

the camera work is obviously subpar but the video definitely has maximum effect

kai and baekhyun stream their reaction right alongside your broadcast

“woah woah oh my god oh my god!!”

everyone’s freaking out, everyone stops whatever they’re doing, everyone is glued to their screens, they love your body moving

you’re having a blast 

especially when you stream another round an hour later and lucas holds the camera now

his arm is perfect for that by the way

strong and stable and high up in the air

so you can do your thing on that fat dick with a bonus of the sexiest xuxi moans ever

that deep but soft tone... yukhei really got a perfect groaning voice huh

after getting steamy for almost ten minutes, you get some great close-ups of your pussy after having yukhei pull out mid-romp

because that gape is for the gods

don’t kid yourself with a dick like that inside you’ll be opening a little wider

it looks and feels even better with lucas tracing his long fingers inside of it

with the closeup zooming in even more while he’s putting his thumb on your clit 

mmh that’s good stuff

six very shaky boys are sitting in front of their phones right now being able to look um very deeply inside of you

baekhyun is basically frozen to a statue on the reaction stream and salivates nonstop it’s just running down his neck at this point

his wettest dreams are right in front of him

stretched out pussy all juicy and swollen? baekhyun’s lifeblood. he’s seeing god 

he turns up the brightness of his phone to maximum so he can see every little detail 

remember. this guy loves to be inside of you so obsessively he wants to pay rent to live in there

so he’s appreciating an HD view of his favorite place, really deep and really pulsing and really soaked

yukhei has slathered you in lube and really pushed apart your muscles very gently, no abrasion, you relaxed so nicely around him

it’s feeling good as fuck

kai who’s watching right next to baekhyun just stares with big eyes

every injury he ever got while dancing is suddenly healed 

he’s a new man his spine has put itself together his legs are reborn

taeyong almost falls off his chair when he tunes in

he’s that bewildered

he just types a big WOW and a wall of blushing emojis

the explicit songs he’s been listening to and whatever he’s been rapping about recently are nothing in comparison to this

finally someone climbed up to taeyong’s level of nastiness

and he thought he’d never find someone on eye level

secretly he loves the nice view but he won’t admit how much

meanwhile he will rewatch this over and over for the whole week at least five times a day

and then there’s taemin

| adorable 😊🤗🎀 6v6

| can you put the camera a bit closer again 👉👈

| and turn on the flash if that’s ok 😳

| ah thank you 💟

i don’t know what taemin has seen or heard or experienced in his life and what made him this way but damn he loves that graphic shit

turning on the flash makes even yukhei’s jaw drop and rub your clit even faster

he’s damn proud he could make your pussy open up to him this way as he should be 

cuz he’s really been improving his Big Cock Techniques (BCT)

mark doesn’t write anything but he’s online and streaming so yeah he’s jerking off

with two hands

baekhyun is typing how much he loves the wet sounds and how great the fingering action is

and he’s damn right. telepathy 

that’s your favorite pervert right there yeehaw

in the meantime yukhei’s brain is empty he’s just smiling bright and enjoying the moment and the attention and your body

ten is basically next door because this is the fucking wayv dorm 

you can hear him choke on his coffee and whisper ‘oh my fucking god, oh shit’ to himself

the phone almost topples into the sheets while lucas is putting all those rubs and circles into your clit but the audio is already telling the boys to watch very closely anyway because here it comes

taeyong is probably falling apart by now given how he’s posting a couple fragmented sentences that you try to decipher on yukhei’s phone

until you get close and take up filming yourself again 

so yukhei can make a video with his own phone as well

yep that’s two cameras on you by now not just one

xuxi’s been such a steadfast babe 

and he gets to see the fruits of his work. for one, just how much of an imprint he left with his cock inside you 

and second how hard he can make you cum now

those big fingers are magic on you

taemin gets all the closeups he ever needed from your camera because you hit the zoom even more

yukhei starts kissing you twice

not as carefully as he often would

it’s the really wet and passionate version this time

he films your lower faces as good as he can

those big fucking lips 

they never fail to make you get the hots

they’re really made to do all this are they

his tongue nips into you with extra saliva on board

you suck it into your own mouth and mix it with yours, and gather some more

and slip your tongue above his in return

yukhei makes sure you can hear him swallowing all that warm runny spit and moans into your mouth

guess who just blew one big juicy load into the condom

and he’s not even inside of you

jesus christ yukhei

looks like french kissing is his orgasm button 

you start sucking on his tongue when it slides back between your lips and you make them really tight and puckering

the noise is so delicious

yukhei shoots the rest of his semen into the condom

you go even harder on him, the kiss gets really deep

kai and baekhyun are literally jumping up and down on their beds by now

taemin and mark are sending star-eyed emojis

ten is definitely beating the meat next door

yukhei’s hand is massaging incessantly between your legs

he makes you feel. so. good.

when he retreats from the kiss you’re ready

you can hardly keep the phone stable in your palm

yukhei also points his camera back at your pussy again

and makes sure to catch every contraction

you know an orgasm is good when you’re going all “oh... ohh...”

even taeyong goes online to stream his reaction because you cum so beautifully

he’s actually crying and can’t close his mouth he can’t believe what he’s seeing

your pussy lips are so sloppy and stretched apart and twitching and you make sure the camera catches every bit

it takes almost half a minute until your muscles calm

you tell yukhei to clean it up with those plump lips of his

baekhyun and taemin are violently agreeing with thousands of “YESS EAT UP!!!” and “yes!! 😊♥︎🌹” text bubbles in the chat

your guys are so cute do you realize that

in order to have both hands free, lucas ends his video, puts his phone aside, and is already licking you up like a whole bowl of whipped cream

you keep on streaming on your own phone and brush the hair out of his face

the best part is catching yukhei’s tongue winding between your lips and then spoiling your pussy with big kisses very very slowly as not to overstimulate you

he’s such a fast learner he’s doing it really well

once you’re satisfied and cool off, you stroke the back of his neck and his favorite boyfriend duties are officially on pause

so he can go to pull off the condom and clean himself up, and get ready for bed after a quick mini snack

while you blow kisses into the camera, flirt with all your babes while they flirt back and even bow to you

and film your pussy all swollen and licked up but slowly closing a little bit again, ever so slightly

ten sends two little black hearts and a little “that was the most amazing thing i’ve ever seen thank you 😽”

you make sure taemin gets an extra close view of your clit and taeyong is making high-pitched squealing noises in his reaction video stream

mark goes like “yea that’s the spot!”

kai has joined baekhyun with the mouth and saliva action, they’re both licking their lips all over the place and make lewd lusty faces

they’re literally sucking and eyefucking your pussy through the camera bitch they want it so goddamn bad

oh to have their mouths on you right now to come down from your high and chill

you tell everyone how much you miss them and how badly you want them to be here

and how you want to feel all of them all over, on your skin and inside you

the chat is full of yearning and horny crying emojis now

yukhei helps you clean up the rest while you text how it felt with mark and baekhyun because they wanna know more

you talk about how yukhei’s girth is always rubbing that one spot inside and his breathing changes when it does

and you say you really loved their reactions

the members promise to be careful and discrete when they re-watch the stream and ten also says that if you don’t want it to stay in the chat some day you should never hesitate to delete it

you say no problem boys you should know me inside out, just remember to use head-phones when yukhei starts slurping at the 01:27 min mark

taeyong and mark are losing it at your puns

then you have a glass of water taller than yukhei’s dick and basically dance to the bathroom

lucas talks to the boys with his big ole smile in his pyjamas while you’re busy

oh god he is so shy

but very very blissed out. it really takes only two things to make this man happy. big plates, twitchy pussy.

a truly simple man. you like that

kai is definitely evolving from his teasing yukhei agenda in the meantime

he is sending thumbs up emojis instead of raised eyebrow ones

you lay down in xuxi’s big embrace and say goodnight to your boys

yukhei buries his nose in your hair, and kisses you on the forehead so innocently, taeyong melts in his little video square on screen

taemin is a big fan as well

he’s living true to his “explicit shit and romance” life motto isn’t he

you ask if everyone was enjoying themselves

big positive reactions all over the chat

you coo how you adore them all so much and want more of things like this where everyone is involved

eight people are going to bed very happy today

yukhei waves and baekhyun goes offline as well, as does taeyong who’s beaming

end stream

it was a masterpiece

that mark needs to recover from the very most, his entire bed is full of used tissues

and basically

over the next few hours the chat is losing their minds over and over again

everyone can’t stop gushing and telling you what their favorite part was

kai says how turned on you were was making him hard all night

ten enjoyed the wild kissing part and how wet everything was

naughty boy taemin keeps on talking about how — i quote — your insides are the best ever!! while sending flower emojis

your stream has unleashed a gigaton of sexual energy

and that basically goes on and on

until tuesday arrives

oof 

today’s the day

you know that ten is up to something 

except the little hearts and kiss comment

he hasn’t written much in the chat

oh shit oh shit what is he planning

he truly is a pisces

you know that some epic stuff is about to go down since the cats are with yangyang 

and — what

there’s a large canvas in his room with a piece of cloth to cover it

lord have mercy

he’s bringing the big guns

ten will even hold a little speech on how he got inspiration two weeks ago

only to proceed to unveil the art very shyly

it’s an elaborate pencil drawing standing about as tall as him

immaculately sketched in a realistic way

have a guess what he’s been drawing

exactly right it’s an erotic depiction of you

laying on your back, thighs spread, head thrown back

and to make it mysterious you see more of the legs rather than the crotch area

so whatever or who is giving you pleasure is entirely up to you to imagine to your liking

it’s more about how the person he drew feels lust rather than the onlooker. he drew this for your own enjoyment

he did that very cleverly and classily 

this canvas will be your utmost treasure and get such an intimate spot in your home

it doesn’t take very long until you’re mounting him and get those hips moving in a circle

ten is just full of surprises

you ask if you can photograph the drawing and upload it to the chat

ten is like ohhh!

but why not, now that he thinks about it. he secretly likes praise and visibility for his drawings so much

the post is definitely a success 

lots of exclamation marks and reaction memes for three hours straight

but who would’ve thought otherwise

ten is just massively talented, always on point

and hits the right nerve with his line of work

as your pussy can attest

yukhei is gonna tease in the chat that he heard you in the dorm and that it sounded mega hot wink wink wink

ten writes:

| my tongue hurts 

| let’s do it again next week

| i feel inspired to draw more as well

the chat explodes with hype for another two hours

multiple members come up with their own artistic takes on you

on wednesday kai presents a feral dance he choreographed for the whole morning. showing a representation of what you are to him and what he feels for you

very beautiful

on thursday baekhyun gifts you a deliberately humorous doodle titled mochi mama in the style of i dunno, probably picasso on crack

you have not seen anything like it

it’s gonna make you laugh in sad hours for many days to come

talk about come

baekhyun will have his hands busy in and on you all night

he wants to feel mama mochi and please you and make you smile

try not to climax challenge: failed several times

on friday mark blasts a song he wrote about you as soon as you put your hand bag down in the studio

100% of the lyrics are about how sexy and charming and special you are to him and how infatuated he is and how much he thinks about you all the time and how much you knock him off his feet, and how he has the biggest hots for you, jesus christ

that mark lee canada flow wants to make you fucking nut right then and there

the fandom just got his lit mixtape and he’s already working on another one i guess he sure has enough nsfw inspiration for it

all the more reasons to cum hard on his dick tonight

and make sweet love to that sexy body because mark lee isn’t the only one with the hots

then comes saturday

taeyong day

the tension is rising

you’re at his place

the sweet boo comes to put some chirping fledgelings into a towel on your lap as usual

there’s a big crispy lasagna baking in the oven, dripping with cheese and sauce with the most full-bodied herbal mix ever

damn tasty 

gordon ramsay would rate this particularly well on twitter

honestly man

we all know gordon ramsey would like taeyong’s dishes

the evening passes as it always does

so he didn’t jump on the bandwagon that’s interesting

it’s almost as if the stream didn’t happen or anything

just as you expected

taeyong doing his own thing and being just very consistent makes him so sexy and desirable to you it’s hard to explain

you just like his style of going about things you know

he’s very receptive to your impulses

you figure it’s up to you to make some steps

so when he opens the fridge to pull out a self-made, perfectly swirly vanilla-chocolate vortex pudding that’s just at the right temperature, you can’t help but hit on him like the world is ending 

but as you learned from taeyong’s example: your way

you ask him to open his mouth and maneuver spoon after spoon of pudding into it for him to deliciously savor it

giving him compliments on always making your day along with that

that bowl is empty very fast my loves

and taeyong very happy

oh yeah he was enjoying that

with his eyes closed

oh fuck

the sexual tension could rip the air in half like a mark verse

you decide to sit down on his lap all nonchalant and finish your own pudding... more than suggestively

taeyong is basically holding his breath at this point he’s a puddle

you tell him he can put his hands on your waist if he wants to

no answer needed his fingers are already on their way

you can hear how his heart is approaching a techno music BPM

at this point all you can do anymore is lean in to whisper if he likes to go to the bedroom with you

he can keep the apron on

taeyong tastes deliciously of pudding aye

you roll around in the sheets kissing so heavily

this is pure indulging you just feel how you’re sleeping with a chef

who happens to have the veiniest dick of all time

you’re definitely filled up well

sliding up and down on him deliciously for twenty minutes

really slowly and hugging each other tightly

and saying romantic things

that’s the good life

by the end of the evening the group chat gets a picture of taeyong’s world class lasagna 

and a ‘very random’ shaky picture of your hand in his hair

which baekhyun instantly comments as:

“now tyong knows how great you taste as well 🤓😁🤗“

yukhei agrees wholeheartedly and ten starts making baby don’t stop puns

kai is totally in love with the quality food 

baekhyun voices his interest in making more pictures of that kind with you. you know, hand in the hair, no big deal

kai says hurry up with it hyung, all the hair dye makes you balder every minute

baekhyun reprises his doodling and now draws a couple

it’s mama mochi with byun baldhyun

“this will be the next selca“

glorious

you’re having a damn good time

but later you feel something is going on

the whole week passes and taeyong seems to be brooding

next saturday he has a hard time expressing himself when he comes to your home 

you ask if he’s not comfortable having more sex or if he struggles with the relationship setup

taeyong says it’s not that but can’t explain any further

you go on a whim and ask if it’s a confession he has on his mind

bingo

“taeyong... if you think i’ll judge you for something. remember we’re only doing this since a couple weeks. it’s hard to know how the person really reacts if you don’t know each other inside out“

he is still hesitant

you ask him if it’s something taboo

“yeah...”

you thought so. taeyong is the least basic person you know along with taemin

guess why these two are saved for last my dear readers

you tell him that how he’s in his own lane is what you appreciate him for in the first place, it’s why you’re here with him, you love your duckling chef so much

if he wants a different kind of sex that’s perfectly him

he looks relieved and understood hearing that

and confesses that yeah... he wants to go a little kinkier with you

now you know why taeyong was acting with so much restraint

and put all of his feelings and sensuality into food pretty much

in fact the kinky sex has already started whether you noticed or not

indirectly. as in, the dynamic

truth is he wants to be a service sub

oh yeah lemme introduce you to some new things

service subs like to really cater to their dominants and fulfill their every wish not just in bed, but around the house as well

and there’s even more to it as you will soon discover talking to him about it

an apron is only the start

in case you have been living under a rock

taeyong’s duality is nuts 

he’s a completely shy mega pervert

it’s not a secret that this guy wants hardcore bdsm torture sex

you letting all that aggression loose on him for fucking sport

and being cold to him

with a bit of soft domme action as the perfect balance 

yep 

he wants you to take him out and take care of him at the same time

he’s perfectly aware he’s among the freakier and more deprived members

even ten is just casually freaky and just open for a lot of things. taeyong is deliberate

and pretty deep in the femdom community as far as his browser history is concerned

we all know assertive partners are his thing

but he’s afraid he’ll get you into something that’s a lot of responsibility

you say mister i’m familiar with your interests 

my dear you never made them hard to guess

you tell him it’s no problem for you to give it to him raw

you’ll be doing disgusting things to him that sexy face will straight up drown 

did you know?

our dear boy taeyong loves it when you spit in his mouth and do virgin roleplay

if he asks you to break him don’t be surprised

he wants to release control completely

he goes by all the rules

and i guarantee. when he comes along your dominatrix mood is gonna skyrocket he just brings that shit out in people

his mere naked body is just... how not to go nuts on him how he wants it

long story short tied up taeyong head to toe ends up immortalized as a vertical photograph

the group chat is overwhelming your notifs with wide-eyed emojis and all caps

amping up the game a little more each day are we

without even trying. hell, this just happened

where this is going is gonna be fun

sunday goes down with you grinding yourself all over taemin but you’re both clothed

you grab the back of his neck to lean in for kisses over and over and over

yes kisses are key

if not the favorite thing he does

let this sink in. if taemin overwhelms a little kitty with a hundred thousand smooches, just how kissy is this guy gonna be 

and have fun teasing his erection through his pants

lee taemin a squirmy mess? hell yeah

in classic fashion he will spend the most time of the evening on his knees getting slapped around in several blindfolds, harnesses, and wrist ties

his fantasy finally came true

i repeat what taemin has been dreaming of is reality

thank god for taeyong having you second guess his private tastes. otherwise you would not be on your dom grind now

taemin even goes as far as ordering lingerie for your encounters — to wear himself because he’s taemin

satin and silk blouses he already has in his wardrobe so there’s no shortage

i don’t have to tell you that you can spend hours grinding on his cock in a room full of candles while taemin is in head-to-toe bondage

that’s his idea of a good time and hell you are really treated to perfect eye candy, taemin’s hotness will bring your pleasure to a new level

the group chat will definitely love your photography taken from your sessions

taemin is just an utter no-compromise kinda man to make kinky love with. everything is planned he’s never settling for less than a perfect evening

where both of you really experience the ultimate satisfaction from treating your bodies to the best of clothes and toys and scenarios

give me an amen for taemin being your sunday guy because this legend of a man is your personal church

and his discography is the bible

and cum play is the baptizing my friend

so yeah huh

every day you can look forward to. monday to sunday

and not a day goes by without someone in the chat reminiscing the steamy video you did with lucas

you end up repeating what you wished that day

for everyone to be with you

so you could feel all of them 

and you say maybe it’s time to arrange something 

you’ve gotten to know each of them personally and intimately by now

and integrated them into your personal life

hell when you wake up the first thing you see is ten’s drawing across your bed

or baekhyun’s funny mama mochi art on your phone background

and you start your day literally selecting from a pile of taeyong’s freshly washed and ironed clothing stacks in your wardrobe

sitting at your breakfast table with a bouquet of flowers that kai and jongin brought you

eating food you bought together with lucas

listening to music that mark made especially for you

they’re all in your life together so it’s the right time to make some heated love together

the chat is all down you don’t even have to ask any further

baekhyun volunteers to go about his leader duty to organize the best possible venue and best possible date

cause with superm things do go 100

he asks what kind of atmosphere you have in mind

you say hard and nasty and kinky

which will definitely make the chat interested

and baekhyun was about to rent a huge modern art penthouse in gangnam

you say no need to go that expensive. you just need a large bed, no paparazzi, and an area where you can be loud. sculptures you could care less about

you have yukhei on your team, so that’s a living sculpture already 

it needs a safe haven essentially, with a dark and lusty atmosphere would be so nice

ten steps in saying he has the exact spot you’re looking for 

he has a friend who runs a declining night club in the suburbs, with some pretty attractive and grungy backrooms with plenty of space to fuck

yeah a club is exactly what you’re looking for that’s a good idea

it’s closed on monday so baekhyun and ten arrange a rental just then

of course way in the evening

with the guarantee of nobody else around

baekhyun knows how this rigged game rolls he says they need the club to perform a dance practice, overnight stay, and shooting a music video

which is only a half-lie

not “hey we are super m planning an orgy wanna invite dispatch and tell lee soo man”

regardless ten’s friend is pretty chill and indifferent anyways

and baekhyun’s money is doing the talk

you’ll be guaranteed to be left by yourself

monday evening it is. 

you already have a whole bunch of fantasies to let loose on your boys

and put it all in the chat

yo it’s called brainstorming and it sure has brain in it

you discuss

and it goes down next week 

you encouraged the members to wear what they feel best in, no dress code, no comparison thinking. you want to meet them like you got to know them, each in their favorite expression

taeyong dons a mass onslaught of fetish gear underneath a trench coat, including a fancy collar, lots of hairspray

and latex gloves. shit he’s a freak

baekhyun puts on the coziest clothes he finds and his smol sneakers but they are secretly expensive, his hair is curly and big, he put on a nice scent

kai can’t help but go black suit and lace underneath, you know him

bleach blonde yukhei gets out the tight white tee and smug jeans

creative genius ten goes all out designing his own fashion (!) with paint, he puts on sexy af glasses and goes for his signature ‘cleavage down to the belly’ look underneath a bomber jacket

mark goes for a casual suit but make it swag, with a sleeveless top underneath, yeah those mark arms go crazy 

taemin — picks his most dazzling silver outfit that looks like a rendition of mermaid scales, pointed shoes, princely hair, famous i’m so fabulous

and it’s already starting out sexy in the car before you even arrive 

because this is all gonna be glorious from the first second to the last

baekhyun and kai will do the driving

you have not one but two classy and sexy chauffeurs you hear me

yeah in their shiny black german cars with those sleek comfortable seats

baekhyun, taeyong, ten and lucas are a team

and then you get kai, mark, and taemin, including your group luggage because such a trip needs a lot of things to pack trust me

you’re with team kai on the way to the club and with team baekhyun the way back 

it’s already lit and steamy on your way there

nothing better than getting in the mood held by the greek god arms of none other than lee taemin with mark lee assisting

you’re entirely wrapped up in kissing taemin so passionately, his tongue melts into your mouth like the finest chocolate

thinking about how you were making out last week gets you going even more

as does feeling up his bulge, ugh taemin is so sensual

mark sitting on your other side being eager to attend to your thighs, your waist, your back, your hands, your hair, your stomach

yep

yukhei has been telling him about the wonders of a whole-body massage since you like it so much

mark gets his hands all over you to provide a sexy caress and wow he’s doing it well, giving everything the perfect kind of attention, always asking if you want more of this or more of that

mark loves everything about you and he knows how to make your anticipation become even more intense by dedicating time to all areas generously

you feel like he’s worshipping you head to toe

it’s the way to get turned on

mark has great soft hands and knows your best spots by now

that’s exactly why it was a good idea to sleep with the members individually at first

you could figure it all out in detail and each member could show their style of doing things, and you could teach them

mark has become an expert in skinship

while he’s kissing into your neck whispering revering things to you nobody else would understand

they’re intimate, spicy details from your studio lessons

with a romantic twist even because mark is giving you his entire arsenal, the entire palette

“i’ve been thinking about you so often...”

with jongin driving carefully and taking the lesser frequented roads 

kai is really keeping it together

the maknae backseat party is faithfully photographed by mark who sends it to the other team after taemin and you select the best shots, giggling

your favorite is a bird’s view of your cleavage with taemin kissing right between your breasts, slightly below the sternum

his hair is softly splayed over the area

taeyong and ten reply with heart eyes in the chat

on you go kissing and touching

taemin is so gentle with you and easily accepts your wild licks and bites, leans his head back so you have perfect access to his neck

by the time you arrive at the club’s back entrance, he’s marked up and his lips are mighty used

ruined neck, ruined mouth

taemin’s favorite two accessories to walk into a club with 

including a hard-on

with mark and kai strutting right after, chewing mints

...both getting hard themselves because mark loves your body and jongin has very good ears when it comes to picking up things that happen in the back of his car

and this bitch got a raging libido, so

the best part is everything is prepared

the other team already parked their car there earlier

ten had the keys to every needed lock, showed everyone around, and then baekhyun went into organization overdrive

this is the first time he didn’t clown around to distract from work since debut

if baekhyun ever means serious business... wow

your best boy taeyong has located the perfect backroom that’s shaded inside and neon-lit from the outside

the window’s aren’t particularly low-sitting so that’s a privacy plus

there’s a huge white extra oversized bed with some more great furniture and a sofa landscape

he desinfected everything to a T

and pulled out every utensil you might need from a large black bag

he walked in like he just commited a bank robbery but in reality there’s cutesy pink rope in the bag

oh well

classic taeyong

yukhei sorted and handed out the condoms plus water bottles for everyone

he’s the expert for the basics don’t come at him he’s doing a great job

after you reminding everyone of the safeword 

taemin sits down with you on the bed and you keep kissing

keeping up the flow right there

//

you beckon your lil’ adorable mochi who’s been dying for skinship

baekhyun is so turned on he wastes no time joining

still fully clothed while the other members are about to undress

you actually like baekhyun huddling up against you in his oversized hoodie it’s cute

so hey, change in plans

everyone ditches the protocol and climbs on the bed only without their shoes 

lot of ties and belts to pull them closer to you

you bring all of them together on the bed now

the feeling of having everyone around you is so electrifying, you have to distance from taemin’s seductive lips not to get some kind of adrenaline overdose

jesus this guy is trying to soak your pants like baekhyun forgot to turn off the shower

you get to enjoy five minutes of relaxed massaging from all sides to cool everything down a little

baekhyun and yukhei alternate with kissing you

yum

big plush lips plus a horny tongue

that’s a good combination

kai is definitely setting the pace of how to massage you, and how to move the body while doing so, and what expressions to make 

instead of sitting there awkwardly staring into space

remember? master of courting — that’s kim jongin

even baekhyun follows his example a bit

you’re entering cloud 9 from that whole-body massage

you can tell they’re all dancers. there’s rhythm involved

having the seven of them attend to you at the same time just hits different

that are 14 hands

70 fingers

all in sync with kai’s physical ideas, carefully yet purposefully kneading and stroking 

kai also helps everyone find a good area and makes sure everyone stays away from any precarious or sexy zones

because you’d probably get off from that in the matter of a blink

to be honest you’re already feeling heated you can’t help it

but that’s a good sign you’re definitely feeling this 

and there’s not a single limp dick in this room at this point already

baekhyun being the best people reader all over again manages a seamless transition to some water drinking

so everyone is ready to go

you wish you could do everything at once but decide to get a load of some slow body rolls against you because hell yeah

courting expert kai is sure to oblige, dance god taemin joins right in, and ten completes the holy trinity and hell does he go off

photographer mark on duty again. this moment has to be captured

baekhyun does his mood management magic and encourages ten and taemin to let out their little sounds more

kai he doesn’t have to tell

nor you because you’re already moaning

shit these guys are just too good

these bodies are machines

again bless your xuxi workout sessions

you wouldn’t keep up otherwise

you curse them because your pussy feels creamy way too early

switching to grinding on their bulges is not a better idea because it’s making you even hornier but anyway it’s your favorite activity

yukhei takes time and some effort to get fully hard so that’s a grateful job now

because you can gather yourself

you resort to using your cleavage to stop turning yourself on completely

and then your hands to palm his pants because that’s even more inconspicuous

group sex with superm? hardest early orgasm avoidance challenge EVER

is there some kind of legally accessible viagra for women

there’s no way you could turn yourself off help

you either get the first orgasm out of the way or keep it together to have some suspense in here and see the boys work hard

the decision is clear

time to bring out the toys that taeyong assembled on a table

baekhyun, taemin taeyong and ten are in the down to get tied up in various ways

lucas and kai get blindfolded and get a sexy task from you

slowly humping the mattress just for your viewing pleasure

topless for that matter

no need to ask twice there they go

photographer mark stays free and flexible. it’s always good to have someone outside bondage just in case with such a big group

anyway so you will be busy for sure

the rest of the boys strip down to only their briefs and get a good dose of spanking

ten is definitely moaning the loudest there

taeyong ends up with tied wrists in a prayer position and has his fun getting slapped around by you 

until he’s breathless and smiling to himself with his tongue hanging out

someone got his daily meal of smacking

taemin highly approves 

nobody’s surprised

baekhyun gets a quick and simple upper body rope harness that’s very easy to grip him by

and just to tease him you add some nipple pinches

result: loud baekhyun noises

cute as hell

so that’s how he’s been training himself to reach all those high notes

interesting

taemin, completely naked, has his hands and ankles tied, looking so beautiful all helpless and his cock itching for stimulation

and because taemin’s strange ‘artistic’ kidnapping fantasies that he never stops talking about cannot be ignored he gets a mouth gag for good measure

you know you just roll with their ideas

he’s a simple man that’s all he needs

you decide to put a bigger bondage piece on ten who ends up in a hogtie aka his new favorite place to be in

if there’s one guy who’s flexible like that it’s him

let’s see for how long he can take it

ten likes a challenge

you tell mark exactly what kind of pictures you want of your tied darlings and he’s well-engaged with that task

baekhyun is clinging to you a lot in the meantime

he gets kisses on the mouth 

and your open ear 

because you can tell there’s something on his mind

or rather

his ass is telling him something after you activated it with spanks huh

what does baekhyun want?

baekhyun wants the strap

and the strap he shall get

his time has come

this time the safeword won’t do so tapping yukhei’s thigh is the deal

taeyong’s kinky tool collection has a nice and thick equipment to offer, jet black black straps, jet black dildo, like it’s some kind of secret agent gear

it takes a lot of lube to get it into baekhyun’s tight and tiny ass but what’s new 

he’s not the gaping expert 

and way too busy laughing at the members’ reaction faces so his damn asshole is contracting god dammit

what a brat

next time he gets a toy for prep

only when you grab him by the harness and get into a rhythm, baekhyun throws it back

good boy

kai and xuxi are allowed to take off their blindfolds now because you have a task for them

taeyong’s toy collection features one extra long double-ended dildo, transparent and neither too slim nor too wide

if baekhyun doesn’t have that thing inside his throat i don’t know who

this shit is made for him

and you can tell he’s salivating for that

you tell yukhei to use those big hands to keep baekhyun’s head steady

and oh wonder, his long fingers enclose it perfectly

kai gets to go hard on baekhyun and fulfill his lifetime fantasy that he has had for over a decade now and jerks off to every night:

baekhyun not talking

so while baekhyun’s ass is getting properly stuffed

so is his mouth

kai has no qualms squeezing the toy into baekhyun’s throat a little more roughly

those are some pretty intense choking noises

mark steadily hits the snapshot button

some people go to pound town

baekhyun goes to silicon valley

kai is not afraid to push that thing as far as it can physically go

you’re pleased with how he’s doing it

and with baekhyun’s blowjob abilities anyway

is there a better throat in this industry? probably not 

he’s pretty surprised himself with how much he can take it

that poor ass is getting more than it can handle in the meantime, baekhyun is throbbing and whining

little did you know his prostate is so sensitive and makes his dick leak

such a shame you fully exploit that

you tell yukhei to have baekhyun move his head on his own to get into the rhythm

and get taeyong over to suck on the other end of the toy because oh yeah

let me just say these two are amazing

god bless sm entertainment 

not for any executive decisions

but for their uncanny ability to attract and assemble all the subs

lee taeyong giving head like the rent is due is a sight you need in your life

like everything, he does it roughly and properly

baekhyun is barely even sucking anymore just straight up gagging and seeing stars

because uh-oh here comes a big fat prostate orgasm

mark is clever enough to hit record on his phone

and capture a shaking baekhyun travelling through a whole bunch of universes, at least in his mind 

because that’s how strong his climax is

all he can say is thank you mama mochi and recover from this on his back

kai is satisfied with the result as well because baekhyun managed to not say anything for fifteen minutes

kai never had this much silence in his life

taeyong is still not done sucking the toy off and you let him

never step between a man and his favorite dildo

lucas takes up the task of untying ten who wants to share the other end that’s free now

and mark hands over the camera to kai who films just that

which also means mark is in the mood for you

about time to get some dick

and have taemin watch right next to you

being able to delight in mark’s wonderful technique

doggystyle

which ends up in kai joining 

which causes yukhei to join

and baekhyun to film 

the three are literally queueing while waiting for their turn

you tell them when to pull out and let the other member have you

until mark is riddled with so much suspension, the fifth thrust on his turn ends up in an unexpected hard climax

“oh my god oh my god!“

obviously kai will let loose now and cum as well, accompanied by really breathy groans

yukhei takes his time to make you moan which gives both taeyong and taemin a good show and an untouched orgasm

eventually you get to hear lucas growling his soul out

and kai bickering to pull out already

because it’s time for buffet

after getting rid of his condom, mark has been untying the very resilient ten who’s been in prawn bondage for like half an hour and five minutes now

respect

he and baekhyun team up to eat you out

yeah prepare for a dream team

while mark and kai chill on the other side of the bed

lucas on the other hand still doesn’t have enough and ends up licking your legs with his cock firmly palmed in those big hands

baekhyun and ten are doing the most meanwhile, lapping you up all sloppy

the job of the cameraman goes to a wild taemin who’s undone his safety hook 

he can’t stand this shit anymore he has to join the action instead of lying around in ropes

jeez the guy has the fun of his life playing with filters

silently giggling to himself

until kai finds out that taemin has been putting cat ears on ten and cowboy hats on lucas

kai confiscates the phone from naughty taem and decides to take up that task himself

so taemin can eat you out himself now

alright there are three heads bumping each other between your legs now

and yukhei close-by, currently nibbling at your outer thighs

can you imagine how crowded and crammed that is

you tell mark to get taeyong out of his ties as well

if you’re gonna cum he has to join the party as well

and he will not hesitate my friend

taeyong’s kinky tongue (which can make all kinds of completely unprecedented moves and slurping noises) riles up the other three to put all their effort into this

you order baekhyun and ten to line you left and right of your hips, fingering you from there

and let both taeyong and taemin get you to the point with their tongues at the same time

it’s a busy day innit

the reason is that baekhyun and ten didn’t come but you plan to change that with some dual handjob

baekhyun lets out some pretty hoarse panting noises

(yeah jongin destroyed him with that toy in his mouth for real)

once your hands grip onto their erections, almost automatically baekhyun’s fingers start going crazy on your clit and ten goes mad with his thumb right next to it

yeah he’s kept his rings on this is gonna be a sexy sight

mark and kai retire from their pillows to join at your request

mark kissing you, jongin sucking on your breasts

from this point on things are pretty much just a daze

two tongues two hands? oh shit

four people are trying to make you cum what did you expect

and three other people are licking you all over

yukhei doesn’t even care at this point he’s just straight up kissing your feet

ten is silently groaning it out, he’s pouring his seed into the condom with little twitches in the hip and shoulders

taeyong’s tongue is gonna finish you off, taemin’s lips will make you feel so good, your legs will be a shaking mess in yukhei’s hands

how to even describe this

it’s an explosion of heat and contractions

you’re going fucking crazy from all that head and tongue action god damn

mark definitely has to swallow a lot of your moans all over the place

and taeyong

also swallows

what a god-loving man

your pussy is leaking enough to feed baekhyun as well

who still strokes himself off while he’s cleaning you up with his mouth, oh boy he really developed a lot of stamina

you have your fun telling him to stop jerking himself off

so his orgasm ends up being ruined

those always mess him up

always a nice sight to have him shaking and whining and gasping

you have to roll over at some point before getting overstimulated

phew that takes quite a couple of deliberate breaths

now you have seven hot guys with sopping wet mouths on your hands, looking at you exhausted and infatuated

that’s super m for you

yukhei, man for the basics he is, hands out towels

you really gotta say he’s kept a clear head in all of this except maybe the sudden foot fetish reveal

of course taeyong towels himself down the most he’s basically covered himself with anything he could get his hands on

that face is dripping like his saturday evening lasagnas 

you help clean mark who kinda lost his mind and heart while kissing you, he needs your care a little more now

baekhyun soon snaps back into organization mode and has the brilliant idea to unpack xuxi’s and jongin’s luggage

to have everyone wearing their gigantic hoodies and sweaters

it’s warm in the room anyway but this feels so much cozier

after going to the bathroom

a ball of cuddly guys is snuggled up all aroud you faster than you can think

mark and taeyong are already sleeping they really knocked themselves out

champs

kai finds the completely forgotten phone somewhere in the sheets and turns off what seems to be a 50 minutes video

that’s gonna be fun to watch some time

baekhyun nuzzles himself to sleep against your sweater, right between your breasts

“mochi mama thank...” are his last words before he drifts off to pineapple pizza land or whatever dreamscape is in his head

probably something much dirtier but anyway

lucas and kai steal kisses from you and go off to sort out the room

jesus christ they still have the energy

taeyong’s nasty lil’ toy collection gets cleaned and reassembled, the ropes get coiled up, the towels wander into a washing machine in the other room

whose steady bumping lulls the rest of you to sleep

while taemin, epitome of taste he is, plays his best of hits on low volume with his phone

dozing off between seven guys while “heaven” is playing? 

best thing ever

the rest is history. you’re surrounded by sleepy cuddly sweater men

you actually sleep for a couple hours

dawntime you wake up cozied and sandwiched between yukhei’s tiddies and jongin’s back

which is the most protected, snug place on earth

even a nuclear superweapon couldn’t explode past that spot

they’re fast asleep

giant baby and teddy bear

safeguarding you in unison

ain’t they adorable

baekhyun is awake silently doing pilates, smiling cutely at you when he sees you’re awake, and he gets a big load of kisses i’m telling you

miraculously everything is tidy and smells fresh, and there’s a light soup in the air...

... lee taeyong got up at 6:30.

he was a whirlwind

the group gets to enjoy a 3-course classic korean breakfast 

because taeyong found the club kitchen

what kind of godly entity is this man

how did he do all of this

the club is the cleanest it’s ever been

taking care of 24 people is probably so difficult, this is actually easy to him

you depart in a good mood because damn that soup was restaurant quality and baekhyun had the idea to give you morning head to which everyone joined in

good thing the club has showers

baekhyun is still horny as hell and you want that D(elight) any time of the day 

so you fuck for a bunch of minutes in his car after dropping off the team and they giving you playful winks

you park the car behind xiumin’s house because that’s the most calm place to be

people are sleeping on xiumnin so hard, no paparazzi are around, ever

baekhyun settles there with you smiling

he didn’t sing “get you alone” with no reason

baekhyun needs that one-on-one time with you to ground himself and love you all over again big time

plus you are dying to cum bouncing on him on the driver’s seat 

while he is desperately gripping the steering wheel to have something solid to hold onto

yeah baekhyun is always ready to lose it for ya

it’s literally such a good spot to fuck

he’s strapped in all underneath you and you can see him squirm and get heart eyes from up close

you also love how your thighs meet the fabric of his pants

baekhyun’s tiny lap is already worth a huge nut you love grinding on him

those shapely thighs

with his cock peaking out from underneath his sweater

what his morning head tongue can do, his dick can do twice with ease so time for round two today

glad you have your bag with some utensils

you’re generous with lube on the condom

in fact you love spilling it over his pants a little

it looks like you’ve been squirting on him that’s why

baekhyun is down for your pervy imaginations

and gets even harder

not bad lil’ guy

time to make him moan with the grip of your walls

mochi breathes pretty hard because damn... more dick destruction

you love burying your hands in his sweater at the shoulders and just fucking ride

his hair gets messy, his bedroom gaze is so intense

his ass still hurts from yesterday but it seems to turn him own judging by the high-pitched groans and his begs for you to bounce on him harder

no problem his dick is just made to be ridden

if this wasn’t a high-tech car from the future with carbon and whatnot anybody could hear baekhyun’s um ‘vocals’ from the outside

this is so much fun oh my god

baekhyun releases with his eyes shut and teeth pressed together, his nose is all scrunched up

jesus this one got to him

he drives you to his home with his fingers shaking a little on the steering wheel

literally tapping like they do in his microphone on stage

yep this shook him up

and insatiable byun is now satisfied byun

nothing better than knowing you ruined your cupcake boyfriend in the best of ways

back at his apartment and after some extra carbo hydrate heavy food, as a pre-nap treat you grind on his thighs and his ass because why not

and gyrate him to sleep with his arms and legs stretched in all directions

both of you are still in disbelief that all of this happened

legend has it you’re dreaming of more group sex ideas that night

the next day taemin sends the champagne video to celebrate your first time together

which brings us back to the start

and that’s how it all happened

now you know

congrats on being a lucky girl

related: super m as subs

FINAL NOTE. ah shit i love this dynamic, thank you for reading 🎊

© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts or translations allowed. all depictions fictional.

[myhockeyworld87]

Under My Skin - Matthew Tkachuk

Word Count: 3,644

POV: Reader

Warnings: Language, Smut, NSFW

Summary: Matthew can be a pest but what happens when your ex, Auston Matthews get under his skin.

Notes: So I’m having a sad bitch moment and thought, why not post this. I finally broke down and wrote for this boy. Who knows if it’ll happen again...haha! At any rate hope you guys enjoy. Happy Reading!

Matthew first met you over a year ago when you’d moved to Calgary for work. You had just finished your degree and a job opportunity had landed you in the same city where he was playing. You’d been out at the bar with some co-workers and had caught his eye immediately. You were everything that Matthew was looking for in a woman, smart, funny, incredibly gorgeous, with a charm that seemed to draw everyone around you in. You were like a magnet and Matthew couldn’t resist your pull.

 That first night he’d barely been able to talk to you. You’d been besotted with people left and right, and it seemed as though every time Matthew worked up the courage to speak with you, you would get pulled away. Matthew finally ran into you on the way to the restroom. Like, literally ran into you. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Matthew apologized steadying you with a hand on your waist. His hand lingered a little longer than necessary but you weren’t complaining.

 “It’s ok I wasn’t paying attention.” You held up your phone in defense. You’d been so distracted by a text, that you really weren’t watching where you were going. “Did you ever have someone text you that you hoped you’d never hear from again?”

 It was an interesting introduction to a conversation but then Matthew would take any opportunity he could get to speak to you. “Actually, yes.”

 “It’s so annoying, right?”

 “Well, there is a way to solve that problem.”

 Your eyes held his with rapt attention, and Matthew could tell you were clinging to his every word. It was then that it struck him that he never wanted that look to fade from your face. “How?”

 “Come have a drink with me and forgot about whoever it is on that phone.” You smiled. It was a bright, brilliant thing of beauty that Matthew swore could light up the night sky on its darkest days. He was sold right then and there, and with just that simple gesture you had no idea that you’d swooped in and stolen his heart that night.

 You forgot about that text message fairly quickly and just settled into an easy conversation with Matthew. The night flew by and before you knew it, your co-workers were calling it a night and you were all heading home. Matthew asked for your number which you gave in hopes that he would call you soon. Little did you know that after you left, Matthew debated with himself on how long to wait to text you. Every unsaid rule in the code of dating said to wait for at least forty-eight to seventy-two hours before making a move, but Matthew was never one to follow convention. As he lay in bed, he decided to send you a quick message.

 Had a great time tonight.

 It was short and to the point, and Matthew figured if you answered then he would ask you out again. Unfortunately, for Matthew, he wasn’t the only one texting you as you crawled into bed after taking off all your makeup. You were just getting ready to reply to Matthew when another text came in. It was the fourth of the night from the same person that had messaged you before, Auston Matthews.

 You hadn’t spoken to him in months, back when you were in Toronto, and you didn’t plan on speaking to him now, though he seemed to be trying his hardest to get your attention, just as he had been for the last couple of months. Your relationship with Auston had been nothing short of toxic. Oh sure, at first it was all hearts and roses in the beginning. Auston swept you off your feet with that charming smile of his, but then you were young and the flashy NHLer said all the right things, at first.

 You weren’t normally one to tumble into bed right after the first date, though that’s what happened with Auston. He made it seem like you were the only one, but after dating him for only four months you’d found out that wasn’t true. Oh, he tried to brush it off, make it seem like he wasn’t cheating. That the panties you’d found lying tucked between the nightstand and the bed were some old fling and not some random hookup he’d brought home. You wanted to believe him and so you let your heart overpower your head and stayed with him until you’d literally walked in on him in bed with another woman. There was no talking his way out of that one.

 It was an easy decision to break things off with him, though he kept trying to win you back. You were good for his image and he thought that he could keep you happy while he had some fun on the side. The only thing was you didn’t want him back, even though his friends tried to helped his cause. That’s when you decided to take the job in Calgary. It was an easy decision six months ago. Which is part of the reason it surprised you when he texted tonight. He was in Calgary for a game and wanted to talk. You’d honestly were debating seeing him when you’d run into Matthew.

 Matthew, you sighed. His curly hair and shaved sides gave off this bad boy vibe, but as you sat there and talked to him, you’d realized he had to be one of the sweetest men out there. You hadn’t realized at first who he actually was. Auston had turned you off to the NHL scene altogether, so you no longer paid attention to the games, even if hockey was Canada’s major sport. Honestly, you wish you didn’t know he was in the NHL. It was part of the reason you were debating about answering him. Maybe you would just sleep on it and decide in the morning.

 Meanwhile, Matthew was having a mild panic attack. He told himself that maybe you lived close to the bar and had already fallen asleep before you got his text, or that you’d turned off your phone the minute you got home. He constantly kept checking his, looking for those three little dots letting him know that you were sending something back. It was torturous.

 You laid there all of twenty minutes before you decided that you couldn’t resist the curly-haired man that had captured your attention tonight. Grabbing your phone, you shot off a quick, I did too. You typed and erased it three times, wondering if you should add more before finally pressing the send button. There it was done, if he said something back, you’d go from there. Fifteen seconds later, you knew you were in trouble.

 Maybe we could do it again sometime?

 Matthew was sweating as he hit send. He’d never been this nervous before about a woman. They either liked him or didn’t, but you, you were different. He knew that from the moment he saw you. It was even more prevalent now after he’d spent most of the night with you.

 I’d like that.

 Was your simple reply back. One that had Matthew ready to jump up and out of bed with excitement. And so the texting went on for the next ten minutes until he finally ended up calling you. The two of you talked for over an hour, almost as if you’d known each other all your lives, and you completely forgot about the texts from Auston.

 Matthew took you out three days later to an exclusive restaurant in the city. This time you told yourself you’d not make the same mistake you’d made with Auston. So, when the night drew to a close, Matthew drove you to your apartment then very properly walked you to the door and only kissed you on the cheek. It wasn’t what you expected. You’d thought he’d go for more, but Matthew wanted to do things right. He knew you were special and he wasn’t going to mess things up by sleeping with you on night one. He was in this for the long run.

 That was over a year ago. Sure, it had been difficult at first to give him your complete trust, but Matthew had earned it and over time you knew that although he may be a pest on the ice, he was anything but that in your personal life. Now the two of you shared a home and were on your way to making a life together.

 You’d kept your relationship on the down-low, staying off of all forms of social media to keep the wolves at bay. Which meant that no one, including Auston, knew that you and Matthew were dating. That was until he and everyone else saw you in the background of Taryn’s video for Brady’s twenty-first birthday. The picture highlighted Brady but behind him, there was Matthew nibbling on your neck and ear. Fans picked up on it right away, wondering who you were and Matthew decided he was tired of hiding the two of you. A week later he was posting a picture of the two of you holding hands on your way back to Calgary.

 That was dozens of posts and months ago. Your life with Matthew was nothing short of amazing, until the Flames played the Leafs. Matthew was in Toronto while you stayed back in Calgary for work. It was an early game and you joined the other wives and significant others in a small little watch party. Drinks were flowing freely, so you really didn’t catch the exchange between Matthew and Auston in warmups.

 Matthew was minding his own business as he stretched near the centerline. That’s when Auston started with the little jabs. “Nice little piece of ass you picked up Tkachuk.” Matthew was used to guys talking shit about all kinds of things on the ice, though normally it was about him being a dirty player or how Brady was the better Tkachuk on the ice; all that shit he could handle. He wasn’t used to someone taking stabs at you.

 “Shut the fuck up Matthews,” he replied then skated away. If Auston was looking for a fight, he’d get one if he kept up this banter, but not until the game started.

 It wasn’t until the end of the first that Auston got a chance to chirp Matthew again. “Tell me, Tkachuk, does (Y/N) still make the same pretty moans…”

 “Finish that and you’ll regret it,” Matthew told him. It was the only warning Matthew was going to give. Of course, Matthew knew that you’d dated someone in the hockey world and that he’d been a verifiable asshole. He’d never pressed the issue too much as he was trying to turn that stigma about hockey players around. He never liked Auston, he was always cordial to him in non-ice settings but now that he knew he was the cheating bastard who basically used you; he liked him less.

 Play resumed before anything else could happen and Matthew was sure to get in a few good checks in before heading back for the first intermission. When he was back on the ice for the second Auston picked up right where they had left off. “So, you like my sloppy seconds, Tkachuk?” Matthew saw red at the insult, and before he knew what he was doing he dropped his gloves and hit Auston. Inwardly, you cringed at the fight, not wanting to let on to the other girls that you had an idea what the exchange was about. Auston went down easy, with Matthew barely touching him, and so off the penalty box he went, while the Leafs went on the power play. You could see him just sitting there stewing, though you weren’t sure if he was mad at himself for letting Auston get to him or mad at you.

 The game ended up tied in the third, and little did you know that Auston took the opportunity to get a few more digs into Matthew. “Does she get as wet for as she did for me, or do you have to work for it?” Johnny had to hold him back from leveling him after that, but Auston didn’t let up. “She was such a fucking slut for me in bed. You know I fucked every hole…” That’s all he got out before going down hard as Matthew planted a right hook to his jaw. But Matthew wasn’t done and went after Auston as he lay on the ice. Matthew was ejected from the game and the Leafs scored on the power play.

 There was no interview after the game with Matthew, so you had no idea what he was feeling or how pissed he was. As soon as you got home, you tried to call him but it went straight to voicemail. You tried to tell yourself it didn’t mean anything that maybe he never turned his phone back on after the game or maybe they were already on the flight back to Calgary, as the team played at home the following day, but you just weren’t sure. So, you laid in the king-size bed you shared with Matthew, wrapped up in your favorite old t-shirt of his, simply staring up at the ceiling.

 At some point, you must have fallen asleep, for you didn’t hear the door open or Matthew dropping his bag like you usually did. It wasn’t until he crept into bed that you finally knew he was home. He was laying on his back, hands behind his head when you finally rolled over letting him know you were awake. You’d thought about what to say to him before falling asleep but waited for him to say something to you. When he didn’t you simply whispered, “If you want me to go I will.”

 “Go?” Matthew questioned now rolling on to his side so he could see you. “Why would I want you to leave?”

 “I never wanted to be a problem for you, Matthew, especially not with other players.” It was part of the reason you’d never told him that you’d dated Auston, though you should’ve known that Auston couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

 You went to say more, but Matthew stopped you. “You’re not the problem (Y/N). You could never be one.” His fingers ran up and down your arms lightly, just caressing your skin. “I love you, baby.”

 “I love you too.” His lips found yours then, and you melted into the feel of him, savoring how his body started to relax against you.

 “Auston’s an asshole.” Matthew finally said, when the two of you broke apart.

 “Do I even want to know what he said?”

 “Just shit to get me riled up, and it worked.” Your one hand went to the back of his neck, massaging the knotted muscles there. “I’m not stupid. I realize what probably happened between the two of you. I just don’t like hearing it.”

 “We both have pasts, Matthew. We can’t change that, but you’re my future.”

 He gave you a real quick peck to your lips. “And you’re mine. At least I don’t have to deal with him for a couple weeks.”

 You pushed him onto his back before straddling his hips. “Don’t let him get under your skin, babe. When he starts to say something…” you looked him right in the eyes. “And you know he will. Just remind him how you’re the only one I want with me.” You flexed your hips before running your hands up his bare chest. “And in me.” Matthew’s hands went to your waist, where he played with the band of lace on your panties. “You’re more to me than he’ll ever be. Both here,” you taped your heart and then his. “And here.” Lifting your hips, you took your hand and cupped the length of him. His cock instantly hardened under your touch.

 Your words spurred Matthew into action, for the next thing you knew he was ripping your panties, before shimming out of his boxers. His fingers went to your folds, where he found you ready for him. “Fuck you’re so wet.”

 “Only for you Matthew. Only for you.” It was extra reassurance that you knew Matthew needed and tonight you’d give him as many as he needed. He guided your hips down onto his cock and you sighed out with pleasure as he filled you like no one else ever had.

 As you grabbed the hem of your t-shirt Matthew whispered harshly, “Leave it on.” It was one of his Flames shirts; one that had both his name and number on the back. Leaning down you kissed him long and hard, before starting to ride him. It was slow at first, a pace meant to build you both up but not push you over the edge. His hands were everywhere, under your shirt caressing your breasts, wandering down your back to cup your ass, and moving up and down your thighs to quicken your speed.

 Finally, he couldn’t take it any longer and he flipped your bodies so that he loomed over top of you. His thrusts were deep and hard, almost punishing if your body hadn’t wanted him so bad. “You belong to me.” He said as he flexed into you, pushing you up against the headboard.

 “Yes, baby. Only you.”

 “Who?” He asked again and you realized that he was not in the mood to hear any pet names.

 “You, Matthew, you,” you answered knowing that he owned you both body and soul, just as you owned him.

 “That’s right, baby.” Matthew's thrusts were deep and sure, as he knew what would bring you pleasure, and with a few more flexes of his hips, he sent you spiraling out of control, screaming his name.

 “MMMAAATTTTTTTTTTHHHHEEEEEWWW.”

 That was all he needed to catch his high and follow you down, your name on his lips. He rolled onto his side taking you with him; your breaths mingling together as you both calmed. Your nails skimmed down his spine aimless, something you tended to do after sex. Matthew always said he loved the continued intimacy it brought, and tonight it felt like you both needed that. His lips found yours, the kiss loving and tender. “I love you, (Y/N),” Matthew whispered while brushing a stray lock of hair from your face. “And I promise, I won’t let Auston get to me next time.”

 “Good, because you’re the only man I love Matthew, and the team doesn’t need you getting ejected from games because of me.”

 “It won’t happen again.” You truly hoped that it wouldn’t but with Matthew’s temper you never knew.

 It was a little over two weeks later that the Flames were taking on the Leafs, this time at the Saddledome, where you were in attendance. Admittedly, you were a bit nervous on the inside as to what would happen between the love of your life and the once lowlife that you'd briefly called boyfriend. You tried to shake off your nerves with idle chatter with some of the girls, but your eyes always seemed to drift back to where Matthew and Auston were on the ice.

 Matthew for his part stayed away from center ice for warmups, just like he told you he would. It wasn’t until the second period after a blown whistle that Auston finally decided to poke at him. “How’s that girlfriend Tkachuk? You know if I told her I wanted her back she’d leave you in a second.”

 “I doubt that Matthews. She told me you couldn't satisfy her in the bedroom. Something about cumming too soon.” Anger started to radiate across Auston’s face. “You should see a doctor about that.” Matthew skated away, completely ignoring anything Auston would be able to say back.

 The game was tied late in the third once again when Auston tried to rile Matthew up again. Considering he had two assists you understood why they wanted your boyfriend out of the game. “It wasn’t me who had the problem Tkachuk, (Y/N)’s pussy was wider than the Grand Canyon.”

 “Hmm,” Matthew taunted back. “Must be your small pencil dick, because she’s so tight it’s like a vice-grip around me.” Auston took offense and cross-checked Matthew into the boards right as the play began, earning him two minutes in the penalty box. Matthew laughed at him as the ref took him over. Auston wasn’t there for long, as Matthew scored the game-winning goal forty-some seconds into the penalty. You jumped up out of your seat with the rest of the girls cheering and screaming.

 Even though they pulled the goalie, the Leafs couldn’t seem to find the back of the net before the buzzer sounded ending the game. You made your way down to wait outside the tunnel with the rest of the significant others. Most everyone was gone before Matthew finally came out, scooping you up in his arms. “Did you see that baby?”

 “I saw Matty,” you told him, kissing him on the lips. “That goal was impressive.”

 He finally set you back down on your feet. “No babe, that’s not what I meant. I didn’t let him get to me.”

 “Yeah, I saw that too. I’m so proud of you.”

 “Well, he can’t get under my skin about you, when I get to be all over yours.” His hands slid under your sweater and inside your jeans to cup your ass. “Speaking of your skin…let’s go home so I can get you out of all these clothes and see you.”

 You kissed him, long and languidly, before pulling back. “I like that idea. I like it a lot.” The two of you left the arena hands interlaced just as your bodies would be as soon as you got home.  

.

[strifesolution]

Recently read your little drabble on the Christmas ADVENTure and was curious to know more about Martyn's inthelittlefrost alter as I'm not familiar with most of his lore outside of Evo & 3L.

Okay I can definitely give you what there is but trust me when i say that drabble is VERY self indulgent and completely my own headcanon. nothing is like...actually cool lore. Also I'm not watching 100 episodes of a Christmas series in August so there probably is some more content I am missing

- Christmas ADVENTure is a series Martyn did between 2012 and 2015, each year there was 25 episodes uploaded over the days leading up to Christmas Day. Seasons 1 and 2 feature himself, Toby (sototallytoby), Lewis (xilubez), Henry (iBuze), and seasons 3 and 4 Henry has moved countries and is subbed in with Elliot (MegaGWolf)

- The basic idea involves the Adventures spending the days leading up to Christmas at his relatives place before they come home in time for Christmas. Each day they listen to a recording his Aunt Sandy and Uncle Stephano have left for them explaining what their plans for the day will be, and the crew goes out and does different minigames and challenges to help out the place they're staying at. Each season has a basic plotline but it's mostly just dumb banter between friends with silly roleplay.

- Martyn has four different minecraft skins representative of different seasons, and you can find them on his namemc profile. His default one is spring, he wore his summery one during his tekkit series, and a halloween/fall one during some special events back in the day. And of course, he wears a winter skin for Christmas Adventure. Even though he stopped alternating skins awhile ago, and despite not doing the series anymore, he still puts on his winter skin during the season. He worn it during the Jingle Jam MCC last year and the hardcore marathon stream the year before. Did a bit of digging, but the name InTheLittleFrost isn't fanon, it is in fact canon. Here's a tweet.

- There's a few indications in the series about InTheLittleFrost being...different from normal Martyn. There's an ongoing bit throughout each season that he sleepwalks and wakes up in wildly different places each morning, like, literally outside the building half the time, and swaps beds with other adventurers. The beginning of season two starts with him freezing cold, incased in snow and ice and has to dug out by the others, mentioning he has no idea how he got there. While the rest of them have Christmas themed skins with cute winter clothes, they do remark on how Martyn looks different, with like, blueish skin and hair, and I think he calls himself cold at least once.

- Although normal Martyn is a chaotic bastard, Christmas Adventure Martyn is like... Martyn in Silly Mode. Just. Constantly pranking and bullying the others and being a little shit. So the fanon revolves around InTheLittleFrost being like... some kind of winter spirit that wakes up and changes Martyn slightly. He's definitely joked about being Jack Frost a bunch.

- My headcanon is pretty much that, "Frost" isn't like, a separate entity, it's still Martyn, just like, a part of him that's asleep 3/4th of the year and wakes up during winter to cause chaos. In that drabble they switch between referring to regular Martyn as themselves and something else. They share key memories but Frost doesn't know exactly what his past self told Ren, but he knows who Ren is. As the anon who inspired that ask mentioned, it's also headcanoned that Frost woke up during parts of 3rd Life, due to Red Winter. I'd imagine they just merged with regular Martyn completely so Martyn wouldn't have noticed.

- Christmas Adventure wise, I think Martyn switches out between actually being Frost and just himself being influenced. The sleepwalking is Frost waking up and taking control of his body to do stuff, the actual physical body changes is just because of how the seasons effect him. Throughout day to day during winter it's hard to tell if either of them are actually in control, or if they're just synced.

- The drabble is just "Martyn forgot to tell Ren during the winter he sometimes gets possessed by a winter spirit but it's fine because it just is vibing and because they share memories half the time you can't even tell it's not Martyn, they just wanted to be ominous as shit to scare Ren"

- I'd imagine the second they sit down on the train Martyn has some hot chocolate, causing Frost to dip out, and he just turns to Ren like, "Sorry, probably should've mentioned that might happen" and Ren explodes like "YEAH PROBABLY???"

[aelaer]

Hi friend! You seem vast in your knowledge of Stephen and willing to share so please enlighten me as I don’t read the comics but I do watch the mcu movies, and do love Stephen.

I know he’s erratic and impulsive and reckless sometimes but didnt we already complete this arc in his first movie? Especially since we’ve watched him deal with the consequences of his actions for the entirety of the film and end of the movie Stephen was a different Stephen from the beginning of the movie.

IW Stephen seemed like a more mature version of the man we’ve met at the end of his first movie, a linear progression of the character, more responsible.

The spider man trailer is just a few minutes so I’ll further reserve judgment till I see the film, but he seems.. silly almost? I’m aware he has his funny moments but I’m just nervous they’re gonna make him the joke instead of having him make the jokes.

Do you notice anything weird about how the adults act in these newer marvel projects.? (I’m thinking of loki specifically) they all have a silly undertone to them? I cant put my finger on it but it’s definitely new and ..off

Is this a constant characterization for Stephen in the comics? Is this what he’s like all the time?

Regardless, thank you for your time if you see this xx

Oh yeah, Stephen's my favorite subject at the moment so I'm happy to give my thoughts!

Note that my answers apply to MCU!Stephen and what we've seen in the four films he's been in.

I know he’s erratic and impulsive and reckless sometimes but didnt we already complete this arc in his first movie? Especially since we’ve watched him deal with the consequences of his actions for the entirety of the film and end of the movie Stephen was a different Stephen from the beginning of the movie.

In my experience of just living, there are personality quirks that can be tempered out and made better, but not entirely eliminated, even if it's undesirable. In my opinion, Stephen's need to push himself and prove that he can Do A Thing is a trait that won't ever go away--especially as that trait has helped him more than hindered him. Examples would include the more mundane such as getting through a combined MD/PhD program and inventing surgical procedures at what is still a really young age for a neurosurgeon. We don't have a canonical age for Stephen, but Benedict was 40 when Doctor Strange was filmed and released; even if he's canonically in his mid-40s, that's still very young for him to be at his caliber after the necessary years of med school and residency in the United States. He's young and nowhere near the end of his career when he gets in the car crash. So with that information in mind, we know that he's very ambitious and throws himself into doing difficult work with gusto. That doesn't even go into everything he did as a sorcerer.

Why get into all of this? Because while we, the viewer who has seen the multiverse open at... some point (possibly, in a rewritten timeline, it's always been open now with what happened in Loki!), we have seen just how nuts it gets. We have seen the consequences. Stephen's smart, but I don't think it's a matter of strictly recklessness and more a combination of ignorance on this specific subject (erasing memories across the world or slightly rewriting time-- we don't know how he's doing it, but a memory spell makes more sense to me), hubris (of course), and the real desire to help Peter out. The latter two traits combined in intelligent people have proven bad in both fiction and reality.

The reason I don't think it's pure impulsiveness is because in the trailer, we see Stephen doing some meditation type thing in the underground area before the spell. He's also always doing research and as he tells Peter he'll help him, he clearly knows of a spell already and has some working knowledge of how it works. The conversation with Wong wouldn't have happened otherwise. But I personally get the vibe off him that he'd not do it without being very confident that he can do it -- and his history in the films has shown 0 failures in any of his spells once he's past novice-level, so in that aspect, his confidence makes sense. If he *should* do the spell due to the risks of failure, and lack of practicing precaution in the face of his confidence, is where his flaws lie, IMO. And in that sense people could say he was reckless for deciding to perform a complicated, dangerous spell, but that follows his M.O. completely -- he performed a very complicated, dangerous spell consistently with the Time Stone again and again, from how the sorcerers spoke about the Infinity Stone (and he casually just... throws himself into a time loop, then to look through time. He takes calculated risks, but they are very much risks).

One last thought on this statement - the biggest, biggest lesson that Stephen learned in his first film was that it was not about him. There was more to the world than his glory and his brilliance and even his happiness. He started doing things for the greater good rather than himself. And he started doing things for others -- fighting for the Sanctum in his own film, and protecting the Earth. Serving something greater than himself. But that doesn't make him suddenly humble, and it doesn't suddenly take away his strange (hah) sense of humor.

IW Stephen seemed like a more mature version of the man we’ve met at the end of his first movie, a linear progression of the character, more responsible.

He was more serious in that film. So was Tony. They still had some quips and arguments, but they were very serious. And it makes sense as to why -- it was the end of the world. So the mood of the setting would change anyone's demeanour. But he had very little chance to unwind in that film, considering that he was trying to protect one of six items that would destroy the universe, and also got freaking tortured in the middle of the film with little time to recover. But nearly every Avenger was super serious in that film, and for good reason.

It's a completely different setting from what is now Stephen's life which, from what little we've seen in the trailer, is weird enough that he got a magical snowstorm in the Sanctum. It's safe enough that Wong's off on vacation. It's been nearly a year since he returned from the dead. He's either figured out how to move on in the last year or, as some prefer, has gotten good enough to put on a facade and bury the trauma so far down that he's putting on a normal act - but that's up to debate until MoM. And we have no idea if old traumas are going to be brought up there or if it's just the new things.

I think the point is that it's possible to be both a responsible person and also to make colossal mistakes due to either emotional connections or hubris (or both - we don't know which way the film will go, if they'll explain it at all). They're not mutually exclusive. He can be protecting reality fantastically, while also believing that he's skilled enough to pull off the ability to pull off a dangerous spell which he did in his own film and in IW. He's guided the timeline down a specific path in IW/Endgame, after all - what's a little identity item compared to the fate of the universe, after all? Removing the Spider-Man/Peter association is, in comparison, child's play I imagine to a man like Stephen.

The spider man trailer is just a few minutes so I’ll further reserve judgment till I see the film, but he seems.. silly almost? I’m aware he has his funny moments but I’m just nervous they’re gonna make him the joke instead of having him make the jokes.

Do you notice anything weird about how the adults act in these newer marvel projects.? (I’m thinking of loki specifically) they all have a silly undertone to them? I cant put my finger on it but it’s definitely new and ..off

He was definitely silly in his own film. He was constantly trying to get Wong to laugh and there was a banter between Stephen and Christine after he gets stabbed. He's always been a bit awkward and a bit jokey--I think Thor showed that combination of humorous snark and good research rather well, though he was flippant in a way that didn't get to show his kinder side that is better established in his film. And now we get to see that sympathy in his agreement to help Peter (at least, in my opinion).

Because he was doing an amazing awesome spell not once, not twice, but *three* times in the trailer alone, I am not worried about Stephen just being a joke. He seems just as powerful as he was in IW and Endgame. The rest of the world is just getting reminded that he's definitely a bit of a socially awkward duck at times (or, if you prefer, Putting On a "I'm Fine" Front And It's Coming Across As Weird). So him being a big joke is not something I am personally worried about.

Situational humor has been a staple of Marvel films since Iron Man. I watched the films casually before 2016 when I fell head deep into Stephen Strange (or well, 2018/9 is more accurate as that's when I *really* went nuts), and my viewings before that time and after that time was a lot more analytical. And it's very easy to see where the silliness started, all the way back when Tony crashed into his own car and Dum-E sprayed him with a fire extinguisher. Thor was the butt of the joke in the "fish out of water" scene in a good, good chunk of the film. Even Captain America had some situational humor. And remember that Guardians of the Galaxy was back in 2014, which was halfway through the MCU's time thus far. The stars of these films are almost always the butt of some joke a couple times and do things that could be viewed as childish.

I don't know your age at all, but if you were born after 1990, what might be happening, rather, is that they are not getting sillier, but that you may be getting older. I was an adult (legally, at least) in 2008, but the way I view the adults of the films throughout the early 2010s as compared to now is night and day. It's just come with my own life experience, and wider understanding to media tropes. The jump is even more significant if you were younger in Iron Man/Avengers days and are an adult now. If you're an older adult than me, then I'd argue it's the matter of life experience adding to your overall knowledge of media plus, potentially, rose-tinted glasses giving you a better vision of the older movies while forgetting that the older movies had plenty of their own flaws (and silliness). Could be a lot of things- it's too individual to really say why your perspective has changed. But I don't think the MCU's largely changed their comedy formula since 2012/2013.

Is this a constant characterization for Stephen in the comics? Is this what he’s like all the time?

Oh the comics are a mess of characterizations. It's very difficult to find full consistency across writers, and some writers did him much better than others. At the moment, Jason Aaron's 2015 run is viewed as very good by a large amount of fans, while Waid's 2018 run is viewed with mixed reviews. It's largely a matter of preference as you'll see traits that are just so uncharacteristic in an arc and then it never happens again. He takes on secret identities, he kills billions to save trillions (along with the other Avengers!), he sells his soul, he's in a steady relationship for 30 years, then he's sleeping with a new woman every arc he co-stars in-- it's just so dependent on the writer over the decades. What Marvel thinks will sell. Right now Marvel thinks his death is gonna sell issues, so yeah :P You pick and choose with the comics and build a personality from there.

Thank you for the thoughtful ask. I hope this wasn't too much of a drag to read through; I get rambly on my favorite subjects. Or anything, really.

[sa-suga]

ooooo 28 and 29 maybe?

YESS I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THESE thank you for asking these omg <3

so i got very very very carried away with rambling about my amazing, talented, mutuals (i can’t believe i’m mutuals w them omg i feel like,, a tiny feral sparrow next to pretty eagles) who are writers i worship and linked a bunch of their fics so,, the Juicy Stuff is under the cut!

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

i recommend anything and everything by @/haikyuu-ink. no cap. my fic recs sideblog is a shrine to her works and i’m not even upset about it. but yes yuki is amazing at analogies and beautiful descriptions that can invoke so many feelings without feeling like purple prose and i can write a thesis essay on it if i need to, just test me

i didn’t read this sugawara fic till i was scrolling through op’s m.list for this ask and holy crap sHAME ON ME I WAS MISSING OUT this fic is so beautiful, there’s all the juicy uncertainty inherent in the best friends-to-lovers trope but,, the descriptions are so so soft and poetic and make me feel so fluffy and happy like,, srsly i’m not doing this justice at all so you’d really be better off reading the fic and once you have please come and scream at me about it so we can be incoherent together

i have no words for how beautiful embroidered hearts is; i really like how it depicts the way past relationships can really affect someone; and the fact that unlike most fics which may have a similar premise, there is no rush to get to the romance - there’s acknowledgement of how long it takes to heal, and how you can’t just magically erase ghosts of the past 

the physics of falling is phenomenal and at the time of reading, i didn’t usually read kuroo fics but anyway - the banter. the analogies. the very very beautiful description of kuroo’s thoughts and the falling. i’m in love, enough said.

notes found in between heartstrings single-handedly turned me into a semi simp like,, op made me. i am the semi simp i am today thanks to her. the pacing was so good, and the whole progress of the fic is just,, i really liked the slow burn and the exploration of semi’s character as well!!

also rowan, @/kuroopaisen (used to be @occasional-haikyuu) turned me into a kuroo simp, i’m not even kidding,, but yes in general my fav thing about rowan’s fics is the vibes - they’re always so soft and it doesn’t feel forced/unrealistic at all!! like the buildup is just very natural and the way the scenes are knit together makes it all very fluid <3

the in-between is a work of art and you can’t change my mind. i especially loved the text messages + the changing contact names bc that was so cute wHAT + the slow burn was perfection, i loved the scenes with kuroo’s grandparents too!! 100/10 would recommend this fic, kuroo is so in character and i loved how there were lowkey character study moments too!!

pillow fort rituals is also one of my favs!! it’s very cute and comfy and makes me uwu in the best way + as usual, best friends to lovers trope is my weakness :”)

@/w-yuren writes the most beautiful character studies and i’m not even being dramatic. i literally love everything she’s written, but i just realized this ask has gotten really long so as hard as it is i’ll only pick a few :”)

i really loved creatures of comfort; she really explored ushijima’s character and there’s acknowledgement of how lonely and tiring it can be to constantly be celebrated for your success and strength and the whole idea of choice (honestly i’m doing a very bad job of describing my feelings so please just go read it :<)

light: summer storm edition. the longing, the overthinking - it’s all so, so characteristic of akaashi it makes my heart hurt. the vibes are so soft and lowkey melacholic and just. ren is just super talented at establishing mood and setting with barely any words; her character studies are just so so beautiful and poetic and prompt you to think!!

also this isn’t a fic but i strongly recommend will strong-arm you into reading her essay about chapter 401 (if you’re okay with manga spoilers ofc) bc Truer Words have Never Been Said and it made me go feral with feels

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

honestly a very hard question to answer and i’m sorry but i really can’t answer it - all the fics i’ve read are complete in their own ways, and even those which end in ambiguity were done so with a purpose, and serve to prove different points! i’m sorry if this seems like me refusing to pick a side, but i really can’t pick one :”) also i probably wouldn’t do it justice lol

[merry-melody]

umbrella academy s2 thoughts

Or you can read here if you prefer. Formatting’s probably easier there and this is like 4k, so be warned.

So, was not much of a fan. (Wasn't surprised to learn none of the S1 writers were retained into this season, either!)

I feel like it's a little early for this show to be separating the siblings into New Lives, considering how little they interacted throughout the first season.

I would have liked more childhood flashbacks, having an additional Reginald subplot in a show stuffed with seven (or six and a half) leads seems a choice when it didn't link into the siblings in any meaningful way. 

It also made all the siblings curiously less sympathetic, as Diego and Luther in particular, but also Vanya and Klaus to an extent, are berated for showing any kind of effect of their upbringing; but without much 'showing' of said upbringing (or emotional impact at all from the last season - Vanya's obviously out for that own with the hackneyed amnesia plot; Diego is completely over Patch's death - and Grace's, for that matter, although she does at least get acknowledged; and Klaus for some reason seems to have stopped seeing ghosts 99% of the time.) 

I'm very mistrustful, as I mentioned in my S1 notes, that the show will in any way support Reginald's abuse, whether it be the siblings furthering their patterns of copying him without learning to recognise and address this; or by some kind of time loop casuality bullshit.

This season didn't really allay that, just with the general tone - the line Vanya had about sarcastically saying he was loving, or Five calling him 'no boy scout' just seem tonally a very different vibe from S1, like there were already aspects of that where it felt like none of them except Klaus really acted like they'd been raised by a guy who outright harmed them so much as a tough Professor type; and here it seems to double down on that idea. 

Five in particular was almost his father's yes man to an extent, he had several lines about how right their father was; although it was intriguing to see Diego reference how Reginald may have become even worse after Five's disappearance with that 'golden years' remark.

I was intrigued by the lizard reveal, though.

So, Luther wise...hmmm.

Also, on shallow notes, the hair and fashion was really lacking from last season, like apart from Allison/Emmy who looked lovely in the 60s clothes (and Five, Ben and Vanya, who remained pretty much the same), everyone looked worse (even Luther had a little Tintin grown out hairdo going on!)

Didn't love the toilet humour, either, but again, YMMV.

He was a little more likeable than S1, I appreciated how he acknowledged his own failings (which iirc, no one else but Vanya really did all season, and since she didn't recall hers at the time, there wasn't as much emotional impact) - although the cocked gun lessened it a little, lol. And the return of that lovely musical score during, too, nice touch.

It was good to see at least two scenes with him and Vanya interacting, and for them to return to the Five/Luther duo.

It was also interesting to see how Luther, like all his siblings, projects his own feelings onto others, (like his first instinct being that Vanya's pulling some 'bullshit game' when obviously, Vanya was pretty upfront when she lost it; whereas it was Luther who was the one scamming her into the hug-n-choke.)

I liked them bonding over Five being an asshole, too.

(Although I think once again, the lack of trust between the siblings was almost contrived, like Luther in particular seems genuinely pissed off that Five didn't, what, let them all die in a fiery death? I get that they grew up in an environment that promoted mistrust and that they don't really seem to understand their own powers or each others, and Five never explains when he makes a mistake, anyway, but I'm just not sure what Luther's ideal outcome here was.)

I'm clearly an asshole also, because the 'Rooming House for Solitary Men' sign made me laugh every time they showed it.

I feel like some of his characterisation was unsubtly telegraphed (although that's a complaint over all, not just him specific) - like they decided 'sensitive' was their key word there, and just jam in everyone referring to him as that rather than showing it. (...Is Luther sensitive? Like, not dragging him, I'd just not pick that at all for him as a description.)

I also didn't much enjoy the pairing of him and Diego, like to be honest, it was never a pairing even from S1 that I was particularly fascinated by, it's such a well-worn dynamic; and while at least they weren't bickering over numbers, the dude bro banter ('women, amirite?!') and matching lack of IQ (I never thought I'd say Diego seemed dumber than cracking a raw egg to posture, and yet...) was just kind of lowhanging fruit.

I also feel like the goon for Jack Ruby stuff seemed inserted purely for plot contrivance to link to JFK.

(This is also a universal complaint, but I really felt for the actors doing promo, like they come up with all these well thought out explanations about why their characters are making these choices, but the work doesn't really show up in the writing or what was shown onscreen. IIRC, Tom Hopper was talking about Jack Ruby as a replacement father figure and how it's Luther's first stab at independence in terms of supporting himself; and there's this whole thing of Ruby saying he treated Luther like a son, when really, he's in like, two scenes and Luther is very clearly a paid goon. Which isn't to say that's not supporting yourself, a job's a job! I just felt like it didn't really go anywhere.)

I liked the idea that he's the only one who looked for their dad; I liked him still eating his feelings, funnily enough, it's just a good character note.

I don't particularly have investment in him and Allison one way or another yet - I don't care about the moral indignation; I just feel like when they're together, it seems one part them being smug about the others, one part yearning based on the same plot as S1 (she's moved on but seems to want to keep Luther as her back up guy.) Like, I'd love to see those two actually interact over something based on their disparate characters (what would Allison have said if she'd heard Luther's little defense of the Feds to Five?)

There's also a return to that odd juxtaposition from S1 of Klaus' drinking with Luther taking drugs cheerfully and to no effect. (I'm not expecting a DARE commercial, it's just all over the place in tone. That, and I thought Luther 'waSN't ReADy for THaT!')

(This isn't Diego specific, either, but they also do that thing I hate in TV, where they purposefully reference someone specifically in the episode before they rereturn, and Diego got the short straw on that one with the Pogo mention apropros of nothing, so we know we'll see Baby!Pogo shortly.)

Diego: Again, lots of telegraphing. (Do you think the writers want to get across Diego has a hero complex? I wasn't clear after he cat leaps through dimensions, stops a mugging, obsessively stalks JFK, and almost everyone he meets literally holds up placards mentioning 'DIEGO HAS A HERO COMPLEX'.)

Diego got a lot more time onscreen, which is a plus, but the haircut combined with his role as plot monkey made it a neutral point.

I also think Castaneda got the short straw on some of dialogue this year, oof, that Luke Skywalker 'it's a great reference' dialogue felt a bit try hard. 

(Sheehan also took a body blow later with the 'Sexy trash!' one, ouch, like that felt very Designed to Retweet/Gif. 

No one's topped S1 for blatant exposition yet, though: 'You haven't been sober since you were a teen! Not since you started taking drugs to block the ghosts out.')

Randomly, I liked the decent English accent he pulled out of nowhere. And again, David Castaneda I believe, mentioned Patch's death, so it's neat that he thought about the impact of her death on his character, even though it wasn't evident in the plot.

As I mentioned up top, I think Diego kind of suffered from the same thing Klaus did last year, where upon he seems to be the only one who recalls they were actually brought up in an abusive environment; and yet here the focus seems more generic to Diego's a baby (right down to constantly talking about 'bad guys' like a three year old) who has masculinity issues about his mean pop (who tbh, seems to be presented as entirely correct in labelling him a fuckwit, since he behaves like one pretty much all season: 'We chop off his trigger finger!')

(Also there's that contrived Batman style ethics that came up with Luther last year, where they're like 'We can quip over bodies and we grew up literally murdering people', but for some reason, Diego won't 'kill a man before he's committed a crime' (he can stalk one, and cut off his hand, though?)

Likewise, there wasn't a ton of interaction between him and Allison, like in S1, I enjoyed how they kind of overcame their initial mutual dislike with small moments of bonding; whereas here he has to be prompted to talk to her (and that was an adlib, which again, means the actors were considering something the writers overlooked.)

Last year I talked about how much I enjoyed Diego's character and how they walked a very fine line between him combining his desire to be the stereotypical macho figure with his innate sensitivity, so naturally this season we get him butchified to a factor of ten ('I'm the man, here!' 'You're a big pussy!') and almost zero interactions with Klaus, the person besides Grace who brought that out the most last year.

(What happened to those two, last time we saw them they were pretty much the closest in the family besides the Allison/Vanya link; here, Diego's almost contemptous. Has he levelled up in his mind now he's bffs with Luther?) I wanted to find the scene with him and Ben endearing, since we get so few interactions with Ben and any one besides Klaus, but it wasn't even that personally linked to them beyond 'Remember our one specific memory? Anyways, lolz, u should keep Klaus' body, idgaf.')

Allison Allison I think suffers from a lot of the same problems as she was introduced with - like Vanya, her powers are kind of linked to a lack of control in a way that the guys aren't; and a lot of her development is offscreen.

I actually really enjoyed the episode focusing on her, though, I thought it was one of the strongest of the season.

Her husband got a bit OTT with his catchphrase - where Diego's was 'JFK', Ray's was very clearly ' the movement!' and I found it odd how easily all the siblings but especially Allison gave up on returning to their own time and committed to another relationship built on lies (albeit this time of omission - baby steps!) but I kind of like that, like that's Allison, kind of co-dependent and self-deceiving.

Really, I feel like Allison's more interesting when they plunge into her darker side, I was riveted in the 'more!' scene, as well as the 'I heard a rumour you killed your brother'.

I think it's especially important as she's a WOC, which this season focused on more, like, it's very important not to fall into the common writing trap where the guys are allowed to be vindictive or needy or selfish and the women are there to be the moral guidance (for the same reason, I also loved the Five/Vanya stand-off); and that goes double for the model minority bit.

I was worried that they'd fall into the trap of Allison needing to be twice as good not just with how the sit-ins were portrayed but also generally (she speaks seven languages! She makes extensive notes on the state of race relations with specific regard to Dallas in the 1960s!) and once more, it seemed like Emmy Raver Lampman was trying to put across a more interesting read on Allison in terms of how isolated she was from any awareness of oppression in the outer world, first in the Academy and then through being a powerful celebrity and the contrast that creates for her in Dallas which didn't quite get met by the writing/direction.

It was great to see how she got to become part of a community in a way the others didn't, also, and particularly being protected by the beauty shop ladies when she arrived; like, the imbalance of genders as well as races in the Academy genuinely made it refreshing to see.

(The relapse is also very up and down in tone, like they make attempts at pathos, but it's also accompanied by the Styx soundtrack/60s light effects...)

Klaus and Ben - Probably my least favourite aspect of this season.

There was a bunch of telling not showing (Klaus' three year sobriety being expressed in Ben's expository sentence and that .5 second shot of him turning down a joint) and once you remove the biggest impacts on Klaus' character (the addiction and his power) without explanation, you're basically left with 'Klaus causes problems for himself for comedic value.' 

I don't really care about who fights well or which powers are developed (didn't read the comics, don't plan to) but it seems to be like the best portrayals of superheroes show the powers as metaphors for their lives - Vanya struggles to control her emotions, Ben feels powerless, etc. If you take away the powers, you take away the reasoning behind the character.

Why is Ben pretty much the only ghost (particularly when in S1, they seemed ever-present)? How or why did Klaus learn to summon them in the alt-apocalypse?

I liked the scene of Klaus interacting with Ray before they find out he's married to Allison, that was cute.

I also liked seeing him interact with Vanya and Allison (there was an interesting shot where Allison says she has a life she worked for, and Klaus smiles - is that because in contrast, he doesn't? I'd have liked them to acknowledge the link between cults and celebrity, tbh, those two have a lot in common. Or is it because she isn't using her power and neither is he?), and I thought it was cool to note how when the group are reunited, they fall into a power structure right away.

Like, right away, Klaus sells out Vanya and Allison to the guys ('It's usually Vanya!' or mentioning how Allison's being 'involved in community politics'.) Likewise, everyone kowtows to Five, then Luther, over the rest (like when Five says they won't go with Vanya to the farm) and no one speaks up for Diego in front of Reginald.

I want to give the others the benefit of the doubt and say they were kind of shitty to Klaus in particular in this season because they were in a group, because it's a huge downgrade in compassion (especially since Allison was like, covering him with a blanket when they're alone.) 

Like, I get sibling culture, I have 'em, but I feel like when you're bringing possible 'seizures' up, you're sort of skirting what's then played as comedic (Luther dragging him, the 'check please' line), especially Diego's: 'He's probably having an overdose.' (Kinda seeing why no one rushed to join Team Zero.)

Like, he and Klaus do just kind of seem contrivedly not communicating - I would think after the isolation, you'd crack through boredom if nothing else.

Ben's kind of an odd duck - I feel like with Steve Blackman's comments, he's supposed to be this philosophical voice of reason; but tbh, he seems as self-involved as Klaus, and if anything, they mirrored each other (that line in S1 about Klaus being cowardly plays a little differently after the revelation 'He was afraid to go into the light'...) rather than separating him into his own person.

I mean, I don't want Saint Ben (or St. anyone!), but Ben does kind of irritate, like it's not like he even particularly gets much wit or personality in his lines (and I doubt Justin Min would be short of inspiration there, so it does seem to be a writing choice) or they give him much warmth or concern (I still like that shot of him walking off in the sixth episode of S1, though - where is he off to?!) In S1, we do at least get to see him panicking and how helpless he must feel that he can't alert the others to danger etc. He doesn't really offer opinions that offer a personal philosophy beyond 'Stop being a junkie' (he was willing to shut off Grace - was that to tick off Klaus for taking the opposite opinion, or is he super pragmatic generally?) or 'Admit it, Klaus, Luther's Okay!' (Again, is this nostalgia for the other siblings, or what? It would have been nice to have Ben interact with all his siblings, considering they included the whole possession plot for less than necessary stuff like 'Ben kisses a girl!' and 'Vomit shenanigans!')

I just feel like his personality was kind of an afterthought still, and it made his sacrifice for Vanya, touching as it was, feel a little unearned.

Why doesn't Klaus tell Ben he wants to go back for Dallas for Dave? Why doesn't Ben tell Klaus he wants to go back to San Francisco for Jill? Was Ben in Vietnam? How come he's gone from using Dave as A Reason to Get Clean to a 'fling' - dark reading of Ben, tbh, like does he want Klaus clean purely for his own gain, and now he is, Dave's of no further value? What does Ben think Klaus is looking Dave up for - he says it's 'selfish', does he literally think Klaus is just there to hook up with Dave pre-death? It's hard to parse whether Ben has a low opinion of Klaus in particular or whether he, like the rest of them, has kind of adopted to a point Reginald's views - it was neat to see a comparison of the two there.

The possession stuff was a cool parallel, as well, if underused on the whole - Ben's happy to take advantage of Klaus' body despite his clear ambivalence and then outright refusal; Klaus is happy to take advantage and have sex with his own cult followers. 

The cult stuff was even less strong, imho - I said last year how I'd enjoy a darker reading of Klaus, as S1 I felt sometimes was unfair to the others in that we see them being impatient with him; but never how his addiction would have impacted upon them negatively; but here, there's no real exploration of Klaus' narcissism or manipulation (in fact the plot seems to play out exactly the same as Allison's in S1 - we start with all the action about why they pursued fame etc. dealt with offscreen, and begin when the lead has already tired of it all.)

I mean, Klaus is self-destructive, as we saw in S1, but here it's an odd combination, like he's at once both cowardly of physical harm (in a way he wasn't really in S1, even post-Dave, so it doesn't seem to be in reaction to his death) but also running a cult for the attention, but the attention is presented as negative almost exclusively throughout.

Like, I'd get it if it was an interest in money and the finer things in life, even, you could make an interesting point there (and iirc, Robert Sheehan and I think Emmy Raver Lampman have) about how while the Hargreeves were abused, they were also 'spoilt rich kids'; and reflect on that; but it's literally just there for gags.

There's no real explanation for the cult itself (they literally just regurgitate pop culture references) or an exploration of Klaus as a con artist (again - here's where you could show some kind of progression in character, whether it's forward or backwards, and use the powers; and have Klaus working as a shady medium, but nope, it's physical comedy only.)

You could delve into his refusing to even tell the others about Ben's presence, but that's handwaved as much as ever (Five didn't go 'Huh, well, Ben was there when the Soviets came...') not just from the other siblings, but also Ben and Klaus themselves.

‘Cause I could see how Klaus would feel guilty about saying that, regardless; but then Ben's all 'Well, I was chicken to go anyway' 

It might have been a little more affecting if Ben's motivation for possessing Klaus wasn't Jill, a character we know exactly zero about, but talking to his family; not to mention a lot more sympathetic towards Ben himself. As it is, it plays more like he's petty and jealous Klaus gets to be alive, rather than frustrated that Klaus is essentially silencing him.

And again, that's fine, maybe that is Ben, he stopped aging at 17, after all, but I'm not sure what the point is of a plot where we don't really get to see much exploration of either character.

Like, what did we learn about Klaus from this specific sub-plot? We knew in S1 he felt guilty that Ben died young, and that he was happy to allow his siblings to believe Ben is gone.

Likewise, Ben? We knew in S1 he was envious of Klaus being alive, and bitter that his position was so powerless.

It was nice to see the teenage actors (did they dub Teen!Klaus??? Odd.) post Ben's death, but it kind of didn't resolve much, really - it seemed like Klaus was supposed to be bullshitting about the 'golden light' and whether or not you can just...'go' whenever you please, but then it seemed like it turned out to be true?

(Might want to have mentioned that, then, like I get he's a Hargreeves and therefore a fail at interpersonal relationships, but you'd think it wouldn't take a smart guy to figure that if your brothers already toying with self-destruction in his teen years, it might not be the most genius move to additionally allow him to believe you're trapped in the 'real torture' of berating him endlessly solely due to his advice; if for no other reason than your one link to humanity is then going to keep up the booze and drugs that blocks you from his presence.)

I was inclined to like the Dave subplot a little more than I did last season, just because something was happening at all (and we got some tiny semblance of Dave's personality, even if it was basic as hell - he likes hamburgers!), but I feel like the Dave recasting thing really stretched credulity.

I would guess it was written backwards, in terms of if Dave was the clearly fully grown adult we saw in S1 a mere five years later, why wouldn't he just go 'Oh, thanks for the tip, dude, I'll avoid all that military jazz'? And why wouldn't Klaus just be like 'Fuck it, can we not just...date now?' Aha, we could make him a little younger, chuck in a Mean Uncle, throw in some manufactured conflict, and zow-pow!

It definitely wasn't the most contrived plot ever or anything (or even on this show), but I did feel like it's weird that again, via the cult, we're kind of asked to see Klaus as this expert manipulator of people, when he seemed almost purposefully stupid here (like, even compared with Luther and Diego.)

Why act as if the only chance you'll ever have to see the guy in the same timezone as you is right that second in front of his crazed uncle? Why say you've tried everything when you met the kid three times (once instigated by him, and I have to say, it's sort of odd, like Klaus is just drinking throughout, like you'd think this would be the one opportunity he'd take to truly and honestly engage without that) and basically just asked him twice, and in the least convincing way possible.

Shoot him in the foot! Burn down the recruitment office! Use your international platform and pull with local government to influence your huge movement towards stopping the war in Vietnam! 

Like, if what you're going for is that Klaus is defeatist and unimaginative, fine, but I'm not sure it's not just that they kind of didn't write beyond the circular 'telling him only made him sign up sooner' casuality because it's so Tragic. 

(Also, I feel like they're overplaying the iconography of those damn dogtags, like at this point, Klaus looking sadly at the dog tags has still probably had more screen time than Dave himself.)

I liked the scene with him and Vanya facing off? 

Five I think didn't really get much more development than S1, he drives the plot forward, but not much else. In fact, in S1, he probably was more interesting, in that he interacted with all of his siblings and showed moments of vulnerability and care (knowing Claire's name, telling Luther not to waste his life, asking Klaus if he was okay) and got to properly react to his siblings' deaths.

Um...it was cool to have two of him? 

It was nice and kind of ambigious where he lied to her about the cause of the apocalypse, like you could go by what he said about how he wanted to avert her anger, or you could wonder if it's a rare moment of kindness in his old age, lol.

I also loved it when he said to Luther about whether he could talk to her 'without squeezing her to death'.

I found Sissy probably the most interesting of the new characters (probably her and Lila more so than Lil!Dave and Ray, tbh.)

Vanya I probably have the least to say about. I was satisfied with how they portrayed the culpability of the others, particularly Luther, without erasing Vanya's part in the apocalypse. (I really, really hope this'll end the endless discourse on her emails book now, that got tired fast.

I could also do without the endless 'lolz, Ellen Page was so bad at playing straight they had to write Vanya as gay'. Ellen Page is pretty convincing as an actor - I bought her raping Rainn Wilson in 'Super', for god's sake, I doubt 'heterosexual' is a challenge.)

The amnesia plot was pretty cliched, and it did mean we didn't get so much actual interaction between the 'real' Vanya (so to speak) and her siblings but I really enjoyed the dream sequence of her in the academy.

[achingforthestars]

some things i liked and did not like about the rise of skywalker ***spoilers***

now having seen it and having had the time to sit and talk and collect my thoughts, i have a list of the things i didn’t enjoy and, amongst all this negativity, the things i did. 

contains spoilers of course!

things i did not enjoy:

finding out about palpatine off-screen

so stupid! this was one of the things i disliked the most because of what a cheap, lazy writing choice it was. i wanted to see the characters have to put it together, have to work for it and then when facing palpatine, have it be on their terms instead of his? instead we get him announcing his presence and kylo meeting him in the first 3 minutes. 

treatment of characters

i made a post about this. just so much wrong, so many deserved better, most of all rose, rey and ben. a lot of the characters were treated as afterthoughts. 

implied finn having feelings for rey

dumb. overdone. tired.

knights of ren

felt cheap and underused. learned nothing about them, it was something i was waiting 3 movies for and the final chance to show them was wasted. 

the resistance is back to perfect! 

i understand that this was due to the timeskip, which i guess was necessary, but i felt that it was kind of cheap to not show any sort of struggle. a year has passed and BAM they’re right where they were in TFA. the losses faced in TLJ very much felt erased. 

the pacing

awful. just awful. things felt too rushed or too slow pretty much through the entire movie. 

the visuals

much less well-done than TLJ. the use of colour and light was much weaker in my opinion, the locations more generic, and the imagery lacking. that said, palpatine’s lair was so fittingly creepy, and the reylo moment on kijimi/kylo’s ship with the black and white juxtaposition - those were nice. 

irrelevant or convenient plot elements

zorii bliss was not a necessary character. chewie was conveniently on another transport. d-0, while super cute and funny, was also just a deus ex machina. hux being a spy - could have been entirely removed but oh, finn and poe need to get off the ship somehow. rey’s return to ahch-to was rushed, her interactions with luke could have been on any other planet. she did not need to pilot luke’s x-wing specifically but they forced it. lando - lando was basically a consolation prize for chewie with little relevance. pryde literally could have been replaced with hux and made for a more interesting narrative. 

snoke clones

what the fuck was that?

the fleet

somehow the entirety of the fleet was magically stored, 100% operational and with fully functioning crew, under the crust of some random planet? and every single one of those ships has planet-destroying capabilities? 

the other “fleet”

where the fuck were these allies in TLJ, huh? i get that it’s the last stand and maybe more people showed up because of that but damn. 

leia’s absence was felt

i understand this was not in the control of the creators but truly, i felt like there was a gaping hole where leia should have been. 

the Trio

i enjoyed their banter but it felt inconsistent through the movie. rey and poe didn’t get along one minute, the next they’re fine. if this had been introduced and pushed in previous films, it would have made more sense and felt less hollow. as it stands, it felt like a forced attempt to call back the OT vibes that just fell flat.

rey palpatine

ugh. let’s reduce strength to a bloodline and in the process ignore what was set up in the last movie. yay! also, palpatine fucked someone at some point and that is utterly disgusting. 

rey skywalker

felt forced. she did not need to take the skywalker name.

kylo’s transition to ben.

before anyone jumps on me, i want to clarify that specifically i am referring to the speed of his transition from ruthless supreme leader to full on ben. i loved his redemption, i just wish i could have seen him do it more gradually and with a bit more struggle? he just goes from “i will find you rey and turn you dark like me” to “i am ben solo” so quickly that i found it a bit jarring? 

palpatine’s constantly changing plans. 

kill rey, no wait, take the throne rey, no wait, let me kill you both and take the throne myself. pick one you crusty fuck. 

force dyad

honestly why establish it if you’re going to ignore it in about 2 seconds?

inadequate expression of star wars main themes

the ideas of hope, of redemption, of love and of family - all central to star wars, and none properly delivered on. 

ben’s death. 

heartbreaking. he deserved love and happiness and a life. that’s all i can say about that. however, in a transition to things i liked: if he had to die, i’m really pleased that it was with an act of love. he chose to make a sacrifice, the ultimate sacrifice, for his soulmate. i don’t like that he had to die, but i can find peace in the way it happened - on his terms, on the light side, in the arms of the woman he loved.

things i did enjoy (a lot actually):

babu frik

was so fucking funny. that is all. 

c-3po.

also surprisingly funny for a droid i’m usually annoyed by?

jannah

i surprisingly really loved her character. i thought she might be an addition like zorii bliss, but i enjoyed naomi ackie’s acting a lot. she felt much more genuine. however i do think there was a missed opportunity in working on her and finn’s shared background as ex-stromtroopers.

force healing abilities

i thought were super cool! i really liked healing the serpent, it was a nice subversion of the expectation to be trapped and outrunning a monster through a labyrinth of corridors. loved how when rey healed kylo, she healed his scar too. just also it’s always nice to see new things being done with the force.

force fighting. 

it was lovely to see force techniques being used in the lightsaber battles (as compared, for instance, to the throne room fight of TLJ); and also to see force-aided physical feats like jumps that don’t look like naruto-style ninja backflips. definitely felt more real.

poe’s moment in the x-wing

taking in the damage and destruction all around him. i felt the weight he was feeling in that moment.

rey picking herself off the ground

after palpatine drains her and kylo’s life force. i loved her moment of peace and centering, gathering the strength to do what comes next. while i didn’t love the voices of the previous jedi, it made for a lovely sequence of “i’m not done with you yet” and showcases her strength.

the moment with ben and han

gorgeous scene echoing han and ben’s last interaction in TFA. just an amazing callback with such different emotion and the final turning of ben back to the light. i really loved this bit.

adam driver’s acting performance in general.

absolutely the best, the most amazing, performance of the film. if nothing else, the switch from kylo to ben, despite having zero dialogue, should speak for itself. he managed to convey a completely different personality through his mannerisms, physicality and visuals alone. oh, and the death/ressurrection scene! the absolute desperation with which he crawls to the woman he loves. the infinite depth of emotion adam manages to transmit through only his eyes and his facial expressiveness. he deserves an oscar nomination for this in my opinion. 

reylo kiss

i don’t even need to explain this. the smile. the pure happiness, the tender touch, the moment of just love and joy and letting themselves be together, finally. i could not have asked for more of a beautiful first kiss. we’re ignoring what comes after. 

overall impression

tros fell flat. i lived for ben’s redemption and reylo, but this was not enough to make up for the mistreatment of most of the characters, the poorly coordinated and frankly rushed structure, and most importantly, the failure to deliver on its themes of family and hope. i felt like it tried to do too much and achieved too little. 

[tobinyama]

cute little maybe map type thing but I wanted to share one of my new favorite ships courtesy of one of my dear friends @sagimita

So the basics of it is this is squirrel x crow!

I’m not very comfortable with the fact that brambleclaw was practically a warrior by the time squirrel was born and their romance starts as soon as she turns into an apprentice. I read more into their scenes together in TNP as little sister and big brother type vibe, she was nosy and annoying and wanted to be in all of brambleclaw’s business, he was just annoyed and treated her like an annoying clingy little sister. Plus they just don’t have that kind of dynamic for mates and almost the whole fandom recognizes that. So how do crowfeather and squirrelflight end up together?

Well, it starts with the journey, their banter in the beginning is honestly very cute and I can see them having kid crushes on each other and being awkward and not knowing how to handle all these emotions so they resort to being mean or awkward around the other. Brambleclaw and Feathertail act as basically knowing older siblings who tease the two constantly about it. Both of them completely reject the idea of them liking each other and insist they hate each other (hence the song Loathing!). Once they reach the Tribe of Rushing Water the to-be’s help brambleclaw and feathertail to set up a fake little first date type thing. You know the first awkward date you have when you’re in middle school? The one where you keep nervously glancing at each other unsure of what to talk about it and terrified to hold hands. Yeah, thats the one. The first night there they are suckered into being alone sharing prey with each other. It goes off just like any first awkward middle schooler date, nothing much happens other than awkward small talk which eventually falls in shambles to petty comebacks at each other as they fight over who didn’t want this more. Events after that go off as normal other than guilty glances at each other occasionally and when they go on a hunting trip with the hunters and cave-guards they bump heads with each other after helping catch the bird in excitement before quickly backing off, both blushing. Events again continue as normal. Feathertail’s death devestates Crowpaw as it should. This is where their relationship really begins to develop. Stormfur wasn’t close enough to Crowpaw to help, he certainly tried but he couldn’t and Brambleclaw was the one to comfort and aid Stormfur (Bramble x Storm bby!). The only other cat close enough to Crowpaw would be Squirrelpaw. And so Squirrelpaw becomes his major support system in helping him deal with this trauma. The unfortunate death matured them both and strengthened their bond more than the journey ever could have. The journey is over, the group often travel at the head sleeping with each other as they lead the clans to the new territories. At these lake territories Squirrelflight tells Crowpaw he should request feather as his suffix. He had admitted to her that he wanted to remember Feathertail by in some way. She was the one to tell him to do it and was the loudest to cheer for him when he received his name. 

The two keep secretly meeting after they reach their territories, claiming it was only because they were good friends and wanted to see each other still, nothing bad was going on. Leafpool knew Squirrelflight was going somewhere every night as leafpool could taste the fresh wind of windclan territory on her tongue whenever squirrelflight went to the border.Leafpool was upset with her, but she wasn’t going to say anything, she understood and had differing views on forbidden relationships believing it healthy to have kits between different clans, the kits would stay with the mother and the father had the choice to either join the mother, stay with his clan, or the mother join his clan. Eventually as predicted Squirrelflight ended up pregnant, she didn’t hide it,k but she was looking for someone to be a psuedo father. She asked Ashfur to be the psuedo father and made it quite clear she didn’t love him, but she needed to keep herself and her kits from being exiled. Ashfur readily agreed albeit he believed he would eventually get her to love him, not accepting that she couldn’t love him. After all he thought of himself as suave and a mature nice guy. Squirrelflight had already discussed it with Crowfeather and they both agreed it was best they stay with their clans and cover up what had happened, they would lessen their meetings but still keep up to date and see each other. Crowfeather never gets with Nightcloud, instead Nightcloud finds herself helping to cover up Crowfeather’s tracks. They were already very great friends, she didn’t see him in a romantic way. Nightcloud is instead in a romantic poly relationship with Leafpool, and Mothwing (mothwing is trans in this AU and impregnates Nightcloud, all three wanted kits and Nightcloud was the most able with the best cover story and here comes the angery rat son with 3 moms!).  This is pretty long so far, and since the next section involves quite heavily the three I think I’ll leave that for the next round if people are interested! Interested more in this au? Ask me to give more info and I’d gladly! Interested in the other AU’s here ask me those too (Brambleclaw x Stormfur, both stay in the tribe of rushing water feeling most accepted there as well as staying close to Feathertail) and (Trans!Mothwing x Leafpool x Nightcloud)

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam Italia episode 1 reaction

I was on the fence to whether I would watch/react to this one, because a) some of the production choices turned me off, namely the Sana casting and b) this will be the fourth time I have seen S1 unfold and like, what more can I say about it, really

but I decided to watch because all of these remakes have been helping me learn about film-making and storytelling and how the same material can play differently depending on cinematography, music, acting, editing, etc. for better or worse. and well, I had a lot of thoughts on it.

Clip 1 - one day this monologue will simply be Jonas reading the lyrics to All Star by Smash Mouth

For a moment I wondered if the opening monologue wasn’t going to be Eva’s writing, and she was reading it to Jonas (Giovanni) and he was going to give her some kinda condescending mansplain-y constructive criticism. Turns out it wasn’t but that might actually be an interesting way to adapt that scene (although the idea of watching this scene for a fifth time is not ideal).

Honestly I’ve seen so many conflicting takes about the opening speech that I’m just going to accept it’s something that I can’t get the significance of as a non-Italian and leave it at that. I do appreciate that they did change it to be something that’s specifically Italian.

This Eva is very … cute? I don’t mean that in a derogatory way. Her personality seems a little meeker and marshmallowier than Emma’s or even OG Eva or Hanna. 

@skamremakesfromhell mentioned this in a post that Skam France and Skam Italia make it more obvious that the Eva and Ingrid characters were once friendly and OG Skam and Druck keep it more ambiguous. Most people I’ve seen react to Skam initially assume that Ingrid and Sara are like the school’s mean girls/popular clique rather than girls who have a history with Eva. Personally I prefer the ambiguity because it subverts expectations (especially when you’ve seen a million teen dramas featuring the requisite clique of popular bullies) but I guess you always learn by the end of the episode that Eva and Laura have a history so they don’t drag it out too much.

Eva waving at them is charming, but maybe a little much, though that’s kinda why I think she’s a cuter character. She’s the only one of the Evas trying to get a reaction out of the other girls. It makes you wonder what she thought would happen. Did she want a wave back? She really wants Laura to still like her. Also, notable that it’s the Sara character (I think) who gives her the finger, not Laura.

Also Giovanni is the only one of the Jonases to not notice Eva looking at Ingrid/Laura despite her being the only one to wave. Depending on your POV, it’s because he’s so wrapped up in explaining himself that he doesn’t notice Eva’s little moment of distress, or that his back is turned to Laura so he simply doesn’t notice. Or a combo of both.

I did like the visual choice of having Martino behind the bars (trapped in the friend zooooooooone) as well as his line, which according to the subtitles, is something like “in a couple there are no secrets but there also aren’t secrets between friends” which is some decent foreshadowing.

The banter seemed like Eva was more cool with them teasing her without that undertone of ganging up on her, or at least she played it like she was very amused by it. 

Clip 2 - chilling at home

I liked seeing Eva going about her evening alone, rummaging for food, that kind of casual solitude when you’re on your own.

Good job making that video chat look realistic.

No hate toward the actor himself but how old is Martino IRL … I think he’s fine performance-wise so far and he and Eva had some nice friendly chemistry in this conversation, but that dude just does not seem like a teenager. Which means some of the stuff he does later is going to look worse coming from someone who seems old enough to know better.

I looked him up and he’s like 20-21 in real life, and color me surprised. Not a teenager, but not as old as I would’ve guessed.

Martino being like “aw come on let me see” when Gio shows up, lmao you obviously do not want to see what happens next, bro. A girl is going to be a turn off for you.

Tiny changes of little importance - the first Sara to get a septum instead of fake lashes, and the first Jonas to enter through the front door like a normal person rather than climbing through the window/balcony.

I think it was a nice detail that they established that Eva is deliberately avoiding events and parties because of Laura. It adds to her loneliness and lack of friends, and it’ll be a bigger step of character development when she starts going out.

How long were the boys at Elia’s? Or did they go over there two days in a row? Because the first clip is definitely meant to be Friday and this one is Saturday, unless it was originally supposed to be the same day and they changed it for whatever reason. Gio not answering his phone during that time period is way different than not answering for like 5-6 hours. 

Giovanni calling her a koala is cute. Is this a specific Eva-and-Gio thing, or is this typical slang, like do Italians call each other koalas? That’s adorable.

Gio, they teach you in Lying 101 not to give more details than you need to.

His acting is a little odd here and I’m not sure if it’s shaky acting or a decent job of portraying someone lying out of his ass. For now I’ll be generous and go with the latter.

I thought the chemistry between them was a little off, but well, at least they seemed cozy when they were about to get it on. 

I was kind of confused as to why they showed the phone lighting up at first except, duh, it was to show Gio was lying about his phone dying. Not sure how I feel about that shot? Seems like too much POV breakage/hinting to the audience. I think it’s a good idea but maybe they could frame it in a more subtle way, like Eva and Giovanni are going at it in the frame and only eagle-eyed viewers would spot the phone.

Also I see that it’s Martino trying to get in touch, so I find that better and more subtle than if it were like … Laura. Martino texting in itself is NBD, it’s just that Gio’s phone is not dead.

Clip 3 - theater kids

This is not a relevant observation in the slightest but I’m entertained by the little details, like when Eva snacks on that cracker/cookie thing you can see a giant-ass crumb fall down her sweater from a distance, or in the previous clip there’s some fuzz stuck to her foot when Gio wraps it around her waist. It’s really really small stuff and probably not intentional, tbh, but I do like when Skam keeps things not perfect. Life is full of crumbs and fuzz, embrace it. 

I love the theater kids and their quirks in every version. These two are giving off middle-aged office manager vibes. 

Again, it is nice for Eva to consider a social event in line with her avoiding them because of Laura.

Clip 4 - Giovanni ruining the couple’s getaway 

I think this is the first time an Eva has called out a Jonas for being boring and not partying. Which, I mean, depending on the company I would probably prefer doing something mundane with some good friends than going to a party with a bunch of assholes.

And I thought Druck made it more obvious, Skam Italia just blatantly says Martino’s mom is crazy.

The acting is weird because I wouldn’t say it’s stiff, exactly, but a lot of it is very … acting. The handshake between Eva and Gio is cute, though.

Clip 5 - party time

Eva, I hope you charged your phone before you went out (9%).

So the getting dressed scene definitely felt, uh. A little male-gazey in a way that the other versions haven’t. Not Michael Bay making Transformers movies one-handed level of male gaze, just enough that I noticed. In those other getting ready scenes, the Evas were shown in varying states of undress, but it felt like a practical thing and not for titillation. This time around, there are definitely some pans up Eva’s body clad only in her bra and underwear and some full body shots (and it’s in shadow but there’s one shot where I thought she was completely topless, though in context I don’t think she is). Not a huge fan of that. At least it didn’t last long.

This is unrelated but this is something I deeply appreciated about Skam, I would not have said the girls were sexualized. Even in scenes, for instance, when Eva and Noora were shown in their underwear and T-shirts, it was casual and not sexy. I’m pretty sure the only nudity on the show was dudes and something like Even walking out of the hotel room naked is the total opposite of a sexualized moment.

Eva’s mom comes home mid-montage. I can’t quite get a read on their relationship yet? Eva is not open with her about where she’s going, but her mom still lets her go out. But Eva having both her parents in the picture is a significant change.

Oh God I love that fucking theater guy who dresses and acts like your car salesman uncle on a family wedding dance floor after a few drinks.

I know Laura’s words are chosen for cruelty not accuracy, but Eva’s eyeliner doesn’t seem particularly excessive, except for being smudged.

Well, Eleonora, that was gay. That was really, really gay. The gayest Noora intro yet. A round of applause.

Why did you fuck off home immediately after gently touching a stranger’s face instead of making further conversation, though? Or is that part of your red-lipped allure? Now I’m imagining Eleonora just constantly fixing girls’ hair and brushing eyelashes off their cheeks whenever she’s in line at McDonald’s or buying toilet paper, then vanishing and leaving a trail of broken hearts across Europe. 

The shot of Eva in front of the mirror, all fractured into multiple Evas, is some good stuff. Eva giving Vilde (Silvia?) a hug was also nice. Again, this Eva’s a marshmallow.

Legitimately one of the best parts of all these remakes is seeing all the Chrises/Alexes/Sams/Fedes be thrilled and bond instantly over their shared names.

This time Eva excused herself and Fede before Silvia asked them to leave so at least she was spared that extra humiliation.

Oh but she makes up for it by having Boy Fede call her a dick tease in front of Laura and Sara.

Boy Fede was kind of hilarious in a douchey way.

The text message afterwards has Eva downplaying the party’s shittiness to Gio, btw, saying she left after she saw people doing the train/conga. Sparing herself further embarrassment.

General Comments:

I’m not happy with casting an actress who is apparently both white and non-Muslim as Sana. Like all Skams I’m watching this on Google Drive/unofficial websites, but if this were say, a film showing in theaters, I wouldn’t buy a ticket for it on that basis. If it were a show I could watch or stream legally I wouldn’t give it the views. It’s really not excusable. Actually one of the most obnoxious things is that they also had this Sana wear a hijab. That annoys me even more than if they’d just said she was a Muslim who chose not to wear one. Probably because a hijabi actress has like … barely any opportunities for roles that will let her wear one.

Unpopular (?) opinion: if we give them the extreme benefit of the doubt that they searched and searched and just couldn’t find a single Muslim actress for the role (and I doubt this is what happened but going along with this hypothetical situation), then it probably would have been better if they rewrote the Sana character to be another racial, ethnic, or religious minority, played by an actress from that group. Because Muslim representation is of course important, especially in the current political climate, and I don’t mean to minimize that at all, but there are other minority groups who could have their stories told accurately, which is part of Skam’s importance. 

Also, there’s one thing I want to address about the use of offensive language and whether it’s justified because it’s realistic/accurate. I am not commenting directly on the stuff seen in the Skam Italia trailer because we don’t yet know the context and whether it’ll be called out, and I’ve also seen some conflicting translations of it. But on a general note, I don’t think that “realism” should be an automatic get-out-of-jail-free card for characters saying offensive things. It depends on how it is handled within the text. I am sure that there are Norwegian teenagers who say much, much more offensive things and use slurs more frequently than the main kids in Skam. But Julie chose to present our protagonists as largely open-minded and willing to grow. For all we talk about Skam’s focus on realism, it often presents an optimistic, even idealistic worldview. Feuds end in peaceful dialogue and understanding. Worst case scenarios are averted. Friends usually support each other in times of need. Hardly anyone is a true villain. It’s debatable how much of that is realistic. But it’s hopeful, and it’s the model that teenagers need. 

Think of it like this, an admittedly extreme example: Julie could choose to set American Skam in a conservative town and made all the characters Trump supporters - because hey, realism!  That is an accurate representation of certain parts of the United States. But I’m guessing most of us wouldn’t enjoy watching the version where Trump fans are our heroes and they’re never challenged on their beliefs. There are some shows where I can tolerate, even enjoy terrible people being terrible, but that’s never been the appeal of Skam.

Anyway that’s my limit of hot’n’spicy discourse for now. I’m trying to stay in my lane but I had to get that out since the Sana thing especially is unavoidable.

Overall the show felt distinct enough that I had some thoughts on it besides just being the 4th version of these scenes that I’ve watched. 

The acting is a mixed bag for me so far, some moments worked and some didn’t. I thought Martino was decent and the non-Eva girl squad was fine. Not sold on Gio yet. Eva herself had some moments I enjoyed but when it got more serious it fell a little flat. I do think she has a likeable personality, though.

The visual style of the show is certainly striking. It’s flashier than OG Skam but I like the colors and the energy.

I’m a completionist so I will probably keep watching because that is how my brain works. 

[calvarineharrod]

The adventures of Calvarine and Hayley’s “GIRLS TRIPPPPP!!!!!"

Johannesburg: affectionately known as the “City of Gold”, a place where risk-takers and money-makers come to witness their dreams grow into fruition. I love this city: the rush, the adrenaline, the swiftness and feisty attitudes of people. There’s just so much hustle in the air, or maybe in the water? Regardless, living in this place requires thick skin, a thicker bank account, a full tank of petrol - cos’ traffic…

My extremely close friend, Hayley, momentarily come up with an idea to visit Johannesburg for a quick weekend Girls Trip. After watching Girls Trip together, it kinda accelerated the thought of us having a super chilled weekend plus we have never travelled together, anywhere!!

History: Hayley and I have been friends since grade 8. 12 years down; we are still the closest of friends and surprisingly still have the same goofy conversations that we did at 13. This friend of mine is a High flyer, sports science Honours graduate, has traveled overseas, has her own medical practice, rocks a 6 pack of abs and still maintains relationships with friends, family and her boyfriend. She’s one of those girls who can do anything. I look like a complete blob next to her #Lol.

Hayley, being the Type-A smarty pants, arranged our travel itinerary for the weekend including Flights and Accommodation. I was so excited and grateful for her effort in the entire process. We set flight on 3rd November 2017, a parching hot summers day, from Durban to Johannesburg. Throughout the entire buildup, I would constantly quote phrases for Girls Trip especially the lines from Tiffany Haddish (my new favorite actress) especially because I found it hilarious.

We arrived at OR Tambo Airport around 9h30. Hayley’s cousin, who also happened to graciously be our chauffeur for the weekend, was punctually awaiting our arrival at the pick up zone. Our intentions from the outset was to have fun and create spontaneous memories. Nothing pedantically over planned, no deadlines, just fun. I personally have never done something so daring. Being 25 and having experienced so little in life, I grabbed upon the opportunity to just live, even if it just meant for one weekend.

We drove straight to the Mall of Africa, a place I’ve been wanting to see. After scoffing down a brunchy meal, we proceeded to look around. I was totally in my element looking at all the designer stores with fashion I’ll probably never afford. Besides, I’m not a girl who is obsessed with a label. I also happened to have my first “Starbucks Experience”, a chocochinni frappachino covered in whipped cream. However, I was unimpressed with the waiter who asked me to SPELL MY NAME?! Do they realize they work for Starbucks. Have they noticed that people come there for the fun of guessing if their names get spelt properly?! Side note: urgent HR intervention and staff training is needed at this branch.

We also visited my 2nd favourite shop, TYPO, which is a cute, artsy vibey shop. Time flew and soon, messages from family members started to trickle in asking about our whereabouts. We headed straight to The Barron which looked like a relaxed, white-collared, Friday afternoon location where people sat with their loosened ties and drank Castle Lager. It was cool. Sundowners after a hectic week sounds tempting. We decided to drive to our accommodation only to realize it is peak traffic at 13:00. I’m assuming a lot of people leave work at this time. Traffic was ridiculous. We were entangled with taxis, school transport and working class people, all rushing to the excitement of the weekend.

We arrived at our accommodation (47 on Preston) precisely at 14:00 and checked into our neatly prepared, air conditioned, wifi-zoned room with a stunning pool and views to match. The area was called Highlands North and the houses were impressive. Security was priority for us hence, the 24hr access controlled body guard, secure features and boom gates gave us peace of mind.

Our sweet ‘chaperone’ (Hayley’s Cousin) ensured we had snacks and liquor at our disposal. Skyy Vodka, Savannah and Amstel were on the menu. After chilling and catching up, we had to plan the night. I am unfamiliar with the night life of Johannesburg. We started getting ready and in the midst of it all, another cousin decided to visit us and show us around after all It’s an Indian thing to stick together. This particular cousin was weird. He was soft spoken, very proud, a straight A student, forensic scientist and quite an opinionated person. I am certainly not accustomed to this type of behavior. We didn’t get off to a great start. I’m all for successful people but not the proud ones. I’d like to think that I’m a cool, chilled and open-minded person. I’m always telling people “Don’t Judge” and this was an appropriate time to take my own advice!!

He brought through a bottle of caramel vodka and sipped. Funny thing is, this guy continued to drop hints the entire night of how intelligent, successful and opulent he is. The car he drives, the area he stays, the alumni he belongs to and his career, which is prospering at an exponential rate. Luckily Hayley informed me about this dude. Nothing serious, she just told me don’t worry, he is different from the average guy.

This dude was slightly tipsy at the arrival of our uber cab. I was controlling the Aux cord playing my “fresher than” music. They were not impressed. Seems like these freaking people don’t like Nas and Vic Mensa! Are you even my friends? Ha ha. We arrive at monte casino, a nightlife spot in Johannesburg, suggested by this cousin. I was actually warming up to him and started to laugh at his jokes. Please don’t any ideas. He has a spouse and over-saturated metrosexual tendencies. Definitely not my type.

The night got funnier. We ate and thereafter entered a place called “3sixty liquid lounge” which has a brilliant live band and serves cocktails, cute baby pink and blue candy floss shooters, bubblegum flavored liqueurs served in test tubes and other unconventional drinks. I loved it. Vibe was cool, we were probably the youngest group of people there, nevertheless, I am a huge fan of Earth Wind Fire and Bruno Mars. We took a quick walk around the casino to my disappointing bewilderment, people were gambling and it was almost 1 am. I hate gambling so I wasn’t pleased to witness people losing their entire salaries on a table. The ride home was hilarious. We got to bond with the weirdo. It was banter the entire night. I wasn’t holding back, neither was he. Safely reached home, thankfully to uber (that driver was relived to drop us). Liquor usually fuels deep thinking so the conversation of religion came up. Uh-oh!

We sat for over 2 hours conversing about religion and there is no decent, happy way to end this conversation without someone getting offended. Throughout the discussion, I was quite level minded and reminded that my Faith is for me, it works for me and I don’t have to justify it. I was also reminded that the essence of a religion is to have faith in God, that’s the basis of Christianity. So when someone wants hardcore facts, times, places and dates - especially when they have a debilitating hatred for Christianity, I will not be intimidated and cross questioned by someone who is out to make a point rather than seeking to understand. Here we are in a very familiar scenario: Christians vs Hindus. The answers were flying back and forth. Eventually we all agreed to disagree and by this time, the dried sweat started to irritate my skin. They gang was getting ready for bed and the proud cousin who earlier asked why we are staying in this place eventually ended up sleeping in one of the beds.

Funny story: earlier that day, we found banana flavored condoms in the room and wanted to prank Hayley’s 'cool’ cousin. We even dispensed some droplets of handwash in order to make it seem like it was used. Yuck! We slipped it under the covers and pretended like nothing happened.

Fast forward to later that evening, well it was early hours of the morning, proud cousin decided to sleep in the bed which had the condom. I was only just informed that he is a germaphobe. He felt the slippery substance and sprang out of bed like a cat in water! It was hilarious. Shortly after that, everyone passed out from pure exhaustion.

Saturday morning started off great. We were treated to an in-house breakfast prepared by the Muslim hostess and then proceeded to the Rosebank Mall. En route, I was speechless at the upper echelon of Johannesburg. The buildings, the infrastructure, the complex designs and luxurious apartments. For a split second you even ask yourself, is this South Africa? Are we even in a recession? Rosebank mall was super cool. From Hamleys to Krispy Kremes, we waltzed our way to almost all the stores and I was majorly impressed.

Our next stop was Melose Arch. I was levitating. I had never been to this place and always heard about it on TV/Radio. We approached the entrance of Melrose arch with Lambourguinis, Porshe, Ferrari, limousines and various other exotic cars parked inside. Funny thing, it wasn’t even a car expo. These were normal patrons who happened to be in this place. Once again, I’m thinking “is this really Johannesburg?! This feels like a foreign place.”. Melrose Arch has various luxury shops, amazing restaurants and beautiful cobble stoned pave ways decorated with Vespas to create an Italian feel.

Jamie’s Italian, founded by the talented chef Jamie Oliver, is an awesome 4/5 star restaurant. I’m a sucker for comfort food so I ordered a gigantic burger layered with different cheeses, sautéd onions, crisp lettuce and holonaise sauce with Parmesan drizzled fries and a refreshing signature Jamie Mojito. We strolled for a bit and went back to 47 on Preston to catch a breather and of course, prepare for our last night in Joburg.

We utilized the convenient services of Uber that weekend and through that, got to see the growth and splendor of our country’s golden city. There are construction sites everywhere possible. Infrastructure and renovations are booming. At the same time, we saw beggars at robots, extremely poor laborers, mostly from other African countries working for minimal wages. It was such a skewed representation. On one hand, we have bugattis and rolls royces lining the street and on the other, we have people digging in bins and hanging out of trains because of their poverty. Mind you, this was one road away of each other. I couldn’t fathom it. It was confusing. Once agin, you’re challenged to think, what are we doing wrong? Are the rich getting richer and poor getting poorer. How do we stabilize this situation. For some of us, growing up in disadvantaged communities affects in many ways. When you do well in life, you almost carry a sense of guilt for doing well and feeling sorry for people who have not achieved anything. Must you apologize for your success? Must you feel unworthy of getting a golden ticket just because your peers lacked drive to hustle?

Saturday night was about to go down. We were scheduled to meet some of their cousins on 4th Avenue in Parkhurst, cited as Joburgs version of Florida Road. We did a small pub crawl before settling into a local sports bar. We befriended 2 sisters sitting besides us. They were so sweet and shared their hookah with us. The drinks kept rolling, including my signature drink; 1 Smirnoff storm and 1 tot of Aftershock. It’s light, pink and tasty. Jäger bombs are always compulsory. Me and my greedy self got way ahead of the party and started twisping, experimenting with everyone’s flavors. Marshmallow, honey and red bull flavors mixed with alcohol and a hookah ended off in me wanting to puke. I felt bad for tainting the evening. We hopped into an uber cab and came home. With toothbrush in hand, I was determined to get sober asap, which I did! Straight to bed after a hot bath, we were ready to conquer the morning in high spirits seeing that it was also our last day of “Girls Trip”.

Sunday morning started off with a lovely breakfast. We packed up and proceeded to Rosebank mall which was my request. I needed to get my hands on some Krispy Kremes to bring back home. To kill time, we also attended this rooftop art and crafts market in the parking lot. I was so impressed with the variety and organization of this fete. It was beautiful and eccentric. Foods from every culture was sold, ethnic clothing and creative decor, eclectic jewelry and fashion - it was….. Different.

After obtaining my two dozen of Krispy Kremes, we headed out of Rosebank and straight to the Airport. We checked it with full luggage and a huge, embarrassingly box of 24 Krispy Kremes doughnuts. We thanked Hayley’s amazingly courteous and sweet cousin who gave us such a memorable time and boarded the flight.

In all, this was the best trip I’ve ever taken. No drama, no bickering, no anxiety, just pure fun. I’m was so appreciative of those 3 days and how my eyes got opened to a new way of life. It is vitally important to experience something different from your normal standard of living. Johannesburg is such a beast but contrives such beauty within its streets.

I had to share this memorable experience on my blog and even if it didn’t seem thrilling to you as you read, it meant the world to me. Here’s to more exciting experiences, spontaneous trips, everlasting friendships and ticking off the bucket list!!

[hibiscusangel15]

Irony

So the new ML episodes have completely revived my love for the show (and the ridiculous Love Square antics). The last episode (the one with Prime Queen), strangely enough, gave me some strong To/becky vibes that just reminded me why I love both WG and ML, and I needed to express these overwhelming feels somehow, so...here’s this thing.

Based off the ideas put forth by @pi-romantic​‘s “The Definition of Miraculous” AU fanfic, which I’ll link here:

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

My fic under the cut, yo.

Something changed the day she kissed Chat Noir.

At the time, it didn't seem like a big deal. She had no other way of saving him from Dark Cupid's spell, and she needed him to help her capture the akuma. She was just lucky he didn't remember it.

But, oh, she did. The feeling of his lips pressing onto hers, stiff with surprise at first, then slowly, painfully melting into a soft acceptance that never left her. She was plagued by it, this warm, annoying feeling. It buzzed around her constantly, like gnats in the summer.

Becky hadn't even realized what about the kiss bothered her so much until, on their next routine patrol, he gave her his trademark cat-like smirk, and she knew.

And boy, did she fall.

Literally. She was so shocked that she slipped off the edge of the roof and nearly plummeted to the city pavement. That is, until Chat Noir, ever the hero, jumped after her without a second thought and scooped her up in his arms. Well, one strong arm. He clung to his staff with the other.

Not that it mattered. It was enough.

“Are you alright, my lady?” he asked, his voice shaken with alarm.

She didn't dare look up for fear he would see her blushing face, her too bright eyes swimming in her fully realized feelings for her partner.

Her heart thudded wildly against her chest. She hoped he would just chalk it up to her being startled at the fall.

And what a spectacular fall it was.

“Fine,” she managed to get out as he set her down on the street below. “Just fine.”

After a day or two of back-and-forth debate between herself, she decided it would be best to accept her feelings wholeheartedly. Maybe it was the mask, or maybe it was Tikki and Bob's joint encouragement at the idea, but she found it much easier to flirt with him in between battles now.

Of course, she didn't start with anything too major. Just some friendly, perhaps overly friendly depending on how one looked at it, banter that garnered that charming grin from her partner she came to adore.

Naturally, this evolved into her leaning closer into his personal space, and eventually scrounging for excuses to hold his hand on patrols.

She didn't know what he really thought of all this, but he played along with it, tacking on flirtatious winks and practically purring pet names to her.

My lady. My darling. My dear. Each and every endearment made her heart swell, and she held onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, he could return her feelings someday.

Becky sighed in the middle of her Chemistry lecture. She supposed her teacher was explaining what lab they would be doing tomorrow, but she just couldn't concentrate.

She began doodling a rather crude-looking caricature of her partner in the margins of her notebook and smiled at it, satisfied with her work.

“Is that supposed to be Chat Noir?” an altogether different partner asked all of a sudden.

Becky sat up straight in her chair, instinctively covering the doodle with her hand. Tobey McCallister hid an entertained grin behind his hand. Becky might have even found the grin familiar had she not been so flustered at being discovered.

“Wha-?! Chat Noir? Of course not! It's just...uh....”

He slipped her notebook right from under her to get a better look at it. “Oh, this is most definitely him,” Tobey mused, and his grin grew. “Though your artwork leaves a lot to be desired.”

She practically lunged across the lab station, her eyes focused solely on her notebook.

He caught her wrist so fast that she almost didn't see it.

Tobey sucked in a breath. Curse my cat-like reflexes....

He let go of her almost immediately and cleared his throat. “Yes, well, here.” He handed the notebook back, all the while avoiding her gaze.

She threw him a suspicious glare as she snatched it and held it to her chest.

“So...you have a crush on Chat Noir then, do you?” His question sliced through the silence like a paper cut.

Her sputtering denials did not match the absolute redness that flew to her cheeks, and at this, he smirked.

“Oh, this is poetic justice at its finest,” he said, leaning his head against a hand. “All these years you've been making fun of me for having a crush on a superhero, and then you go off and do the same! It seems as if the shoe is on the other foot now.” A hint of incredulous laughter paraded in his voice.

Becky glanced down at her misshapen doodle and scowled. He had defeated her, and she knew it. No use denying the obvious.

At this point, he began to feel a little bad for her. He knew from experience that crushing on a superhero was terribly difficult. It was worse than crushing on a celebrity, really.

“Not that that's a bad thing, mind you,” he added as he looked out the window. He saw her glance back up at him out of the corner of his eye. “I mean, he is pretty cool, after all.”

Her blush only became more pronounced. “...Be quiet,” she said at last, slapping her hands over her face. Thankfully, the bell rang in the next moment and Becky found her chance to escape.

It didn't hit him until she left.

Becky Botsford had a crush on Chat Noir.

...He was Chat Noir.

As in Becky Botsford was crushing on him and wasn't even aware of it.

Tobey had to laugh at the ridiculous irony of it all. Not only did Becky fall in love with a superhero, but that superhero just had to be him? Of course, with all the potential crushes she was apt to have, his alter ego was not a bad choice.

He couldn't help the Cheshire-like grin tugging at the corners of his mouth as he walked to his next class.

Once she was sure no one was around, Tikki poked her head out of the little pocket in her bag meant to hold her and asked, “You okay, Becky?”

“Stupid Tobey...” Becky grumbled as a response. “He's got no right to make fun of me. He's the one in love with me and doesn't even know it. I mean, how ironic can you get?”

“What do you like about Chat Noir?” Tobey asked the next day. They were waiting for a beaker of water to boil, so he figured now was as good a time as any.

Her face grew pink immediately. “Not this again.”

“I won't make fun of you.”

She threw him a doubtful look.

“Okay, I might tease you a little. But I promise, nothing hurtful.”

Coming from Tobey, this was a huge deal. Not a lot of people trusted him after his akuma days, but Becky was one of those kind few who managed to.

Her eyes began to fog up with wistfulness.

After the water came to a good boil, Becky finally answered, “...He's funny.”

He gaped at her. “That's it?”

She sent him a glare so seething, it rivaled the ones his mother used to give him back in his villainous prime.

“No,” she emphasized, tugging her hair in front of her face in a vain attempt to hide her blushing face. “...He's incredibly cute. And I like how kind he is. Not just because he's a superhero, mind you, but....” She sighed. “There's this gentleness about him. Sure he'll tease you and everything, but he knows where his limits are, and he respects them.”

When he began to snicker, she snapped,  “Which is more than I can say for you.” She crossed her arms in a huff and turned away.

Tobey was completely taken aback. Was the disparity between his secret identity and alter ego really that huge? Here Becky was, practically confessing her love to him, all the while hating him at the same time. It was absolutely ludicrous.

He cleared his throat. “I could say the same about Ladybug,” he began, already regretting it.

She looked back at him, her eyebrows raised.

Tobey's eyes flickered to the window. “I also admire her spirit. She's just so radiant all the time. She's so full of life and loves every second of it. It's all I can do to try and keep up with that spirit.”

His sigh brought him down to Earth again. “Which is more than I can say for you, Becky Botsford.” He shot her words right back at her. “Why, you don't shine in the slightest.”

How can he manage to insult me and so fervently compliment me in the same breath? she thought with an incredulous smirk.

“Yeah, well, you're no Chat Noir, McCallister,” Becky said aloud. The water had come to a good boil, so she shut the Bunsen burner off. “Good luck on finding someone who could tolerate that biting sarcasm of yours.”

“I don't need your luck, Botsford,” Tobey sniffed. He snapped a pair of goggles over his regular glasses. “Nothing could be so lucky as my Ladybug.”

The two bent their heads over their work and tried their best not to smile at the other's confession.

Oh, the irony of it all.

aefdi;ojafjio;f;jfe;kjs The Love Square makes me scream. Especially in this AU oh my GOD. Just the ideas alone slay me.

I know I have my other fics to write still, but hoooo boy, I haven’t had such strong feels or had fun writing in a long time, let me have this. Even if it’s a fanfic of a fanfic, lol.

Thanks again @pi-romantic for letting me butcher write stuff based off your fic, lmao.

Okay, but seriously, if you haven’t checked out “The Definition of Miraculous”, you’re missing out. Go do iiiiit.

[cityalps]

19 OF OUR FAVE CITY ALPS MOMENTS FROM 2019

1. Receiving the studio keys from an old pharmacy 

After nearly two-years of dreaming about City Alps and all we hoped it would be, we finally found a space that we believed would work for our training philosophy and community. We received the keys to an empty shell with bright pharmacy lights the only remnant from its previous life on 1 February 2019. Its was such a weird feeling. A mixture of extreme excitement and trepidation. Taking the plunge was, without a doubt, the best decision we ever made regardless of where this journey takes us!

2. Hiring our builders, Richard Sprik and family (and involving Toine and Ad)

We were fortunate to be referred to a dream construction team, Richard Sprik and his family. The execution of the renovation process was unbelievably professional and the team was always ahead of schedule, with the oversight provided by Toine and Ad (our two advisors that Eljse put us in touch with). Without our above experienced and warm Dutchies, the outcome might have looked very different. Georgia was constantly trying to get Richard and his brothers off the red bull and smokes and onto the veggies and fruit, with mixed results (recall having to eat most of the dust-covered carrots). They were a great bunch of guys and an absolute pleasure to work with.

3. Painting with mates 

Once the construction team had done most of the heavy lifting, the space still needed to be painted and all smaller jobs completed. Our friends were incredible in volunteering to help get it done.  We honestly could not have done it without them! It involved long hours and some serious manual labour. But they were so selfless, supportive and helpful. With the exception of Zachs wall (the wall that took three weeks to paint due to peelage, scrapping, re-painting, peelage, sanding, painting, re-scrapping, sanding, painting), it was so much fun to spend time with mates over a few beers, great mixed spotify playlists, primer and the City Alps dark blue. It made a difficult task, a wonderful memory of what true friendship really looks like.  

4. Pre-opening Chambles ski-trip 

Months before we pulled the trigger on the rental agreement, we had planned and booked a Ski weekend with friends. We nearly pulled out of the trip due to general busyness and everything that needed to happen/overseeing the building process before we opened the City Alps doors. Ultimately, we decided at the absolute last minute to just ‘DO IT’ and it was definitely the right call. It was a recharge and served as a reminder of what we were really trying to achieve with City Alps: a space where you train to do something adventurous outside of the studio (it was also the first sale of 12 City Alps winter sweaters, with the brand being taken to Tel Aviv, Neurembourg and Geneva). 

5. Opening 42-day crew 

We launched City Alps with our opening 42-day special and it lead to the core group that is mostly still in tact. We think of some of our more consistent and strongest members, and many of them joined during this initial 42-day period. We like to think of this elite core group as the glue that holds our community together. It was a fun 42 days. 

6. Wim Hoff experience 

A big part of what we want to do with City Alps is around organising workshops and events geared towards endurance athletes. The first workshop we organised was the Wim Hoff method and the idea of recovery being a key component to any training program. Martin Pet (a former age-group level Dutch triathlete) took us through the 3 pillars of the Wim Hoff method, namely breathing, cold therapy and exposure. It was an enlightening experience to be submerged in an ice bath in March outside the studio, with our new neighbours passing and wondering WTF we were doing. All about being comfortable being uncomfortable. 

7. JBs adventure talk 

We are a community inspired by adventure, whatever that means and looks like for you. For Jean-Baptiste our fellow City Alper, it meant cycling from Zurich to Cape Town via the west coast of Africa. JBs talk was inspiring and thought-provoking. He has such an interesting view on the world and experiences. We loved hearing his story and people still refer to it in many post-ride coffee conversations at the City Alps cafe. More adventure talks to follow next year. 

8. La Chouffe trail weekend 

The annual City Alps trip to La Chouffe was as fun and enjoyable as ever. We love this race and it did not disappoint - for new and experienced trail running it was equally as exciting. We also had some strong City Alps performances, putting the many studio hours of training to test. Come on Olle, Dave, Elsj and Agata, City Alps needs a podium for this one next year. No pressure. 

9. Dolomiti Xtreme Trail 

Thomas recently asked us if we are working for the Dolomiti Xtreme Trail after we pushed (successfully now) for him to join. The answer is no (well not yet anyway). But we love this race and the whole 150km cycle from Venice to the start, eating polenta and running in the most spectacular scenery, is near-impossible to beat. We cannot wait for 2020! This race is as authentic and adventurous as they come! 

10. Nutrition workshop

Ok so this happened in a pre-game changers world. It was really informative and interesting. Our biggest take-away was that we, as athletes, should be eating far more than we think. That little gem has come in handy over the Christmas period. Seconds? Um yes please. 

11. Second 42-day crew 

We launched our second 42 in August, and it lead to a whole new batch of strong and wonderful City Alpers, as well as transformative physical changes for some. Dorte, Mathues and Mita were all worth winners. 

12. Getting married 

Easily the happiest moment for of 2019. Our rock star City Alps team held the fort strong and we arrived home in Amsterdam from our home in South Africa, to many wonderful celebrations and excitment all around.  

13. Our Coaches

We have been really lucky to find the best team of instructors. They are all such unique humans (and athletes), and bring their own special stamp and quality to the City Alps experience. So grateful to have them in our team! 

14. Steph and Niels 

Steph our host, neighbour (serendipitous this) and fellow City Alper is the hostess with the mostest. Always welcoming and warm. She sets the mould for all the hosts to follow.  Niels also gets a special mention as occasional host and full time City Alps vlogger. We love Niels. 

15. The bar 

This late addition to the space has been such a win. We love having good quality filter coffee at the bar and catching up with members. This is normally where great adventures are discussed and arranged with new friends, where high fives are given out regularly and where Strava stats are compared… because if it’s not on Strava… it didn’t happen!

16. Sam and Xoliswa 

In 2018, we raised funds for the Chintsa Running Club in South Africa. Chintsa is where Georgia and I met. Supporting the running club from the village is something that we feel very strongly about. The running club was started by a really inspiring local trail runner, Steve. Steve has given something positive to a community where hope is sometimes hard to find. We sponsored two of the top runners from the club to participate in the UTCT in Cape Town. It was the first time that either Sam and Xoli had left the Eastern Cape province and they were so blown away by the whole experience. We can't wait to see how this experience manifests in their lives and in the lives of the running club going forward. 

17. Sunday ride vibes 

We are loving the longer Sunday endurance rides. Such great training and banter all around. So glad we introduced them to beat the winter blues. 

18. Dreams fulfilled and goals achieved 

Watching some of you write down goals on the goals wall and then tick those goals off is so inspiring and motivating for us. Also, to see the improvements in strength and endurance in some of you has been amazing. It's always those members who are the most consistent that get the biggest rewards. No secrets. Just consistency and hard work.

19. You all 

We love you the City Alps community. We can honestly say that our biggest highlight of 2019 has been meeting you all. We feel so privileged to have many wonderful, strong and like-minded humans to train with and to do trips together. The 2020 is going to be our strongest and most exciting decade yet.

Written by: Dayne and Georgia Muller 

[datingadviceonreddit]

Hello guys, and guess what?If you always have boring dates – you’ll have a difficult time getting laid or finding a girlfriend.You want to learn how to stop being a boring man? Well, I’ll explain how to do all that below.But first, consider this:Consider the girl’s perspective! If she’s smoking hot (read: very attractive), she most likely has a ton of guys desperately fighting for her attention and affection wherever she goes.She constantly gets approached by hundreds of guys and goes on a lot of dates with many different men. They chat a bit, flirt a bit, but most of the time she becomes disappointed and doesn’t really enjoy her time out.Most guys have no clue and are simply boring – and the girl very rarely has an unforgettable evening!Why? Because they end up doing the exact SAME boring, predictable, tedious things that just don’t work and bore her to death – just like the last 100 guys did on their dates!So imagine when she sits on a date with yet another random guy who she doesn't know – and he starts asking her the same questions she’s heard 1000 times before from every other guy that she met:“Oh hey, so where are you from originally?”, “So what is your dream job?“, “So why did you choose that college?“, “What do you study?“, “Where would you like to live?“, “Where would you like to go on vacation?“, “Are you from this town originally, or did you move here?“, or even about the fucking WEATHER!Yeesh! That last one’s definitely NOT the conversation topic of an unforgettable evening...The questions go on forever – I can think of a hundred similarly boring questions that most girls have heard many times over and are bored out of their tits… I mean Wits, from having to listen to them and answer. At least at the very start of the date!(Incidentally, here’s a hint: Those questions are okay, and they have a time and a place, but that time is NEVER at the beginning of the date when she’s not already very attracted to you or invested in you enough to be eager to share all that stuff.)Anyway, like a lot of guys, they think that asking these questions is a good way to initially connect with the girl, and find out some mutually interesting topics to talk about.Umm, sure! That’s a great idea if you want to make a friend! But if you want to fuck her brains out, especially that very same evening, then that’s the WORST way to start off a date! She will have another boring chat with you and then promptly forget you because you were just like everyone else she encountered.Also, a lot of guys end up talking about things they don’t even care about - like parties, shoes, fashion, and similar boring bullshit when they ask those questions and then desperately try to latch on to any topic threads when the girl dejectedly answers something vaguely interesting.What does that subconsciously tell the girl? That he’s a guy who doesn’t value his time and will talk about ANYTHING just to avoid awkward moments – even if he doesn’t give a shit about the topic.It’s all incredibly inauthentic.Authenticity – When you don’t pretend to like things that you don’t like, or feign interest in things that are not interesting to you, just to try to impress other people.So what do you do? Simple. If you want to stop boring your dates half to death, instead of trying to connect with her right away, do what most guys don’t do – start doing shit that creates an emotional rollercoaster!Forget about connection at first because the point is to get her emotionally invested in you and the conversation before asking her boring shit!Instead, play a game with her, tease her, or create a fun Role-Play moment.Make stupid, silly, witty, ridiculous comments.Flirt and tease in the beginning, relentlessly!Don’t be so serious! Dates are a place and time to have FUN and see if you click – they aren’t an interview!Talk about the stuff that YOU genuinely like talking about, and talk about it PASSIONATELY. If she wants to add something – she will!For example, I can’t count the times I talked about World of Warcraft, or Counter Strike and similar stuff, when I was deeply into that shit. Any topic will do, as long as you are GENUINELY passionate about it and they can see your passion through your body language and speech – and you can present it in an interesting way. They will get ENGROSSED in that shit! Just don't overdo it, obviously, making it the only thing you talk about - show that you're versatile or she will just label you as "the weirdo who talked about Warcraft for 45 minutes!"Keep the conversation fun and engaging, and get her laughing, many times over.The sillier the stuff she laughs about, the better!I’ll explain exactly what you can do to achieve all this, below.But first – here’s what all of this will accomplish:You will be DIFFERENT. You’ll instantly stand out from all the rest, which is incredibly attractive in itself.If you do all that and focus on just having fun, you will NEVER seem needy, desperate, approval-seeking or someone who wants validation from her and aims to please or suck up – everything that ruins your chances with women and is a complete turnoff.It will show the girl that you aren’t afraid to joke around, tease her, ruffle her feathers because you’re not afraid to lose her. Do I even have to explain to you how massively attractive that is?This is the best way to establish abundance, outcome independence, and general vibe of not-give-a-fuckery with the girl, without actually having to say anything to that effect and seem like you’re a try-hard braggart.As a side bonus – you’ll never have a boring date.And when she’s inevitably attracted to you after a while, you ask her a few personal questions, connect a little bit, then start ramping up the sexual tension and you’re good to go.Seriously, the number one comment I get on most of my dates with the girls I sleep with is that they absolutely loved the fact that I was simply there to unabashedly have fun with her, not caring about ANYTHING else, and showed off my sense of humor while not being afraid to tease her. They adored the fact that I focused more on witty banter, flirting and teasing, and never asked “regular boring conversation questions”. Even though I did ask most of these boring questions – once she was already very attracted to me!This last little crucial detail is KEY. She will want to invest more into your interaction herself, unprompted, and she’ll tell you more and more stuff about herself, once she really likes you. From there, you can go into more sexual territory and it’s a done deal.In any case, this is an excellent way to spike immediate and strong attraction and interest in the girl right away.And you’ll never be seen as a dancing clown monkey who’s only there to entertain her if the stuff you joke and tease her about are the things that genuinely make you laugh.So, listen carefully – it’s all about self-amusement!So here’s what you do:I realize that you may not be someone who’s naturally good at witty banter, at making funny and silly comments that get the girl laughing, at spiking emotions and all that jazz.So here are the two fool-proof ways you can use to easily create an Emotional Rollercoaster and take the conversation anywhere you want it to go. If you learn them both, you’ll never be seen as a boring man who’s just like every “nice guy” out there.They turn all boring dates into something that the girls will remember for a long time:One – It’s simply called Role-Play, and you can take it anywhere you want to, and even use it to make the girl incredibly aroused, horny, and up for banging you as soon as you get somewhere private.Essentially, it’s about creating a funny, absurd yet interesting scenario which you can incite the two of you to play out. It’s the perfect way to showcase your personality, because every mistake you make, every stupid thing you say will no longer be associated with you but with the CHARACTER that you’re playing out with her. It’s pretty much a free-pass to make stupid shit up and have fun with it. It’s like creating a SOAP OPERA that girls get to star in – with lots of fun, drama, excitement, and similar crap that’s ADDICTING to any and all girls!Most nice guys when they talk to girls are the equivalent of a boring movie where nothing exciting happens for the whole two hours. They ask boring questions, complement the girl, so that she feels very secure, very validated. Where’s the fun and excitement in THAT? Where's the fucking CONFLICT? Zero conflict creates zero emotions!I explain this in full depth at and give you examples: WHY ROLE-PLAYING ON DATES IS AMAZING! - Seriously, do yourself a HUGE favor and read the article on role-playing – it’s one of the most effective ways to spike ENORMOUS attraction and pretty much get to do what you want without consequences.And apart from creating massive attraction, it’s also a great way to create trust, rapport, and sexual tension with any girl that you’re on a date with – provided that you have a shred of imagination and a sense of humor. I explain it all in that article.And that’s the only caveat – If you have no sense of humor or zero imagination – it won’t work for you. But don’t despair, it’s a sign that you need to improve those two areas and add to your personality, until you can have fun with them. There’s tons of material on how to develop a decent sense of humor and imagination – just google it!Anyway, as far as I’m concerned, Role-Play is one of the best things that you can do on a date with a girl to get laid consistently, if you learn how to pull it off correctly.Two – This one’s easier to pull off because it’s something canned, and easy to use and do.Simply play a silly game with her: thumb-wrestling, patty-cake, make a game about testing her reaction, “stare into each other’s eyes until someone blinks first” game, and so on and so forth. There are literally dozens of silly funny games that you can do on dates, that are fun and lighthearted.And if you’re about to say “I’m not going to play some stupid fucking game with that hot, sophisticated, independent, confident, and smart girl – she’s not a child!”And that’s where you’d be DEAD WRONG!Get this – Before settling down with one of the most wonderful girls I’ve ever met – I’ve been dating around like crazy, had fuckbuddies left and right for the past 8 years while traveling around the world. During that time I went on several thousand dates with girls ranging from poverty-stricken slums and normal suburban girls, to daughters of millionaires and owners of their own successful businesses, professional fashion models and a couple of celebrities. And guess what?NONE of them were bothered by these silly games. Not. A. Single. One.Just don’t be a total weirdo and whip ’em out at weird and inappropriate moments – play them when you’re both focused on each other and having a chat. If you don’t make it weird and present it in a playful and fun way – it will never be weird for her!However, playing silly games is not the best option since it won’t showcase your personality to its fullest, like role-playing would do. But it’s by far the easiest thing to pull off, because you can just learn a bunch of them and pick the ones you like – and whip em out when you feel that things are getting boring. It’s the only “canned routine” that I regularly use. But only the game is canned – the reactions, the teasing opportunities and everything else that flows from playing the game is always unique.Plus, it will have the added bonus of establishing a lot of comfort and touch, since most of these games have a physical aspect to it. The more she gets comfortable with your touch – the faster she’ll be comfortable with your dick.What else to do on a date with a girl to have fun?In any case, there are a ton of ways to create an emotional rollercoaster – these are just two of the most effective ones that I use and see a lot of success with.So you now know what to do on a date with a girl and never be seen as a boring man. Just do the opposite of what most other guys are doing, and you’ll notice a huge difference in your results.The key concepts of what to do on a date with a girl are self-amusement, IDGAF attitude, abundance, being genuine and authentic, and unafraid to live, while being outcome independent.Not very simple things to achieve in practice until you learn how to initiate Role-Play!You show the girl that you’re not someone who’s desperate, needy, try-hard, aiming to please, seeking approval or validation. That you don’t give a shit about offending people, being different, unafraid to live. That you’re just being unabashedly you and are out to have fun with the people you meet – without expecting sex from them or with sex being your only goal. And you accomplish all that through your actions and words, as described above.And guess what, if the girls see that you’re just there, being genuine, authentic, and unfiltered – and not out with the sole goal to get sex from them – they’ll instantly realize that you’re someone who’s DIFFERENT, someone who’s sex-worthy, masculine, and someone who they WANT to fuck.Then it’s just a simple task of creating massive sexual tension, so that they quiver with lust and anticipation – and then taking them home to your bedroom, or even to the bathroom of the venue, if you’re brave and spontaneous enough 😉It works wonders, and after a bit of practice, it’s very easy to pull off. And this all is just a small sample of what you can do on dates - but one that is my personal favorite.Just don't forget that this is not about you becoming super wacky and silly right from the get-go, because that would be weird and seem needy. Just chill out for a bit, and then work this all in organically into the conversation once she sees that you're a chill and cool dude.Also, at the risk of sounding like a dick - this is my way to succeed on dates, and it's not something new - but it works perfectly fine for me and a lot of other people who make it work. It's not necessarily the best way because it may not mesh well with some people's personalities, but I can show you thousands of people who learned it and do it successfully - so don't start spouting that this is bullshit and save yourself the embarrassment.Also, I'm interested to know what YOU do on a date with a girl, and why aren’t things working out for you? Let me know and I'll try to help!Cheers! via /r/dating_advice