#the nascent idea of he and Hawkeye like drunkely sparring while Roy sits under a tree or soimething

[docholligay]

@katrani so, when I'm doing a fic that is, hard, a lot of times I'll create like a little map that is very very sketchy, and when I decided I was gonna bring Hughes into this nightmare because it made sense for him both to have the insight and be willing to tell Roy shit he doesn't particularly want to hear, this was my sketch note:

@morkaischosen when I think about the two of them, one of the things I really think about is how Hawkeye protects herself and gives nothing away by not saying much, and Roy protects himself by fucking flooding the zone. You can never ever tell if he's being serious and sincere or not. It's another way that they are this matched pair, because in the same way that Roy knows what she is saying when she says nothing, she can winnow out what he actually means when he cloaks everything in what comes down to, "I'm just joking obviously" They are safe enough with each other to be vulnerable, but they also don't ask it of each other. They don't need to by this point in their relationship! Hakweye doesn't need to say, "I love you even when you make me fucking crazy you asshole jesus christ and I am so so angry at you but this isn't the end" because she just wordlessly and quietly removed the clip from his gun which communicates all that. And Roy hears that! IN the same way that his whole speech joking about sentimentality and beetles and all that contains the words Hawkeye needs to hear to know that what he means is: "I did in fact wrong you and I'm sorry" They are both insane. They are making me insane. I am so sory about this ramble, it will happen again.

And also yes! I do think Roy appreciates that she would take her execution like a fucking champ, and I agree with him that I think she would. I think Roy is being whatever version of sincere he's capable of being when he says he doesn't have to tell her how good she is at her job. (and hawkeye is being sincere when she tells him to knock it off with what is very nearly tenderness)

@katrani tis was my first real outing with Hughes and it was fun! I think when the three of them are together it can be sort of "how could Hawkeye get a word in edgewise even if she was thus inclined?" and that can be really fun maybe but this wasn't the venue I needed him to solve a problem and be smart ahaha.

One of the hardest things in this fic, besides figuring out how the fuck to start with Hughes was, "How do I communicate that Hawkeye is fucking furious, BUT, she's not furious in a way that will sever the relationship?" and I was not displeased when I came up with this.

THANK YOU ALL