#the number of breakdowns i've had to this album...

[aroaceoutsiders]

darrel curtis & homesick by noah kahan

inspired by @made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad

[haeryna]

in my dreams you love me back (i still love you) ↪ gojo satoru x reader x geto suguru ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

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summary: soft moments with shoko keep your heart soft as well, but suguru finds something that he wasn't supposed to.

tw: sfw but vague mentions of losing your virginity. your mother MEDDLES but let's be real, we'd do the same. allusions to the bible for the aesthetic but also because i like the imagery of the themes. not proofread.

notes: title taken from red velvet's "in my dreams." the second half of "i would give up heaven if i had to." another short chapter because i split it in two originally! banner from @/cafekitsune

"You look like shit."

You can't stop the huff that escapes your mouth as Shoko peers at you from your phone, propped up against your rice cooker. She's somewhere in the United States right now, attending a medical conference. She isn't wrong; your ten minute break in the bathroom had turned into a full-blown half hour breakdown. Thankfully, none of your coworkers pointed out the redness of your eyes and the sallow tint to your skin. Your manager had practically forced you to go home early. They all assumed that you had broken down about how the Gojo Satoru had demanded you be the one to make his drink. At this point, you were too tired to correct them.

"I just got back from the cafe, leave me alone." Yawning, you reach for a bowl. "I'm starving and exhausted, and now you're going to yell at me, Sho?"

You can hear the heavy exhale, and the camera blurs as she lets out a cloud of cigarette smoke. "I never said that. Did you see them today?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Nobody else can make you cry that hard, and I know it wasn't me."

You hesitate for a moment. "Mom thinks I should hear them out."

"Personally, I would tell them I'll speak to them after a down payment of 5k."

"Shoko!"

But your laughter fills the air, and you can catch Shoko's self-satisfied smirk from the other end. "There she is." A soft haze fills your screen as her voice softens. "Do I need to fly back and tell the two of them to fuck off?"

"I can tell them to leave myself," you protest, but Shoko gives you a deadpan stare. "Okay, well, maybe it'll be hard."

As the silence falls, warm and comfortable, you bustle around the kitchen, spooning rice into your bowl of leftovers. The air is warm, and despite your exhaustion, you can't help but appreciate the dreaminess of the evening. Shoko watches you, dark eyes unreadable. "What?" you finally ask, curiosity lacing your voice.

"Just be careful," she sighs. "Satoru and Suguru will probably do some crazy shit to get you to notice them. I just don't want those idiots to scare you."

"They don't care enough to do that," is your sardonic reply, and this time, it's her turn to laugh.

"If you really think that, then you're blinder than I thought."

He is breaking me down on every side, and now it's too late for me; he has uprooted my hopes like a tree.

When the number of your old landline rings on Suguru's cellphone, he almost blocks it out of habit before he registers the last four digits. Panicking, he immediately accepts the call.

"Hey, is everything okay? I-"

Your mother's voice chirps back at him, a bit staticky from the old phone that he knows she'd insisted on keeping installed in the kitchen. "Suguru, dear, could you do me a favor?"

Ingrained instinct forces a "yes ma'am," from his mouth before he can even process the request. He can practically hear the smile in your mother's voice. "It won't take too long, don't worry. My back has been aching an awful amount after my last surgery, but I've been meaning to wear some of my old church clothes to Bingo Night. Would you mind grabbing it for me?"

The attic is cluttered and old, and the dust stings his eyes, but Suguru can't bring himself to complain as he begins to rummage through boxes. It feels like seeing you again, like being your Suguru again, as he unearths old photo albums, and stuffed toys. There was the rabbit you used to carry around all the time. A picture frame, of you, Shoko, Satoru, and Suguru one summer afternoon. Carefully, he wipes away the dust, smiling at the memory. You'd lost your front tooth that summer; now, it was forever memorialized.

Finally, he reaches a small collection of boxes in the back. The dress lays draped over a small stack of boxes, but as he grabs it, one topples over, spilling its contents all over the floor.

Suddenly, selfishly, Suguru is grateful that Satoru stayed behind back in their hotel room, because inside the cardboard box is envelopes. At least thousands of them, crammed into each possible corner, dates written on the front in the same handwriting you've had since high school. He tears open another box, only to find the same. Three whole boxes of letters. Selfish hope and heavier dread sinks into his skin like the dust that is slowly falling to the floor; Suguru has unearthed something that he knows he's not supposed to see.

Was this how Adam felt, holding the forbidden fruit in his hand? Which was stronger; the will of God, or the love of man?

"You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.

He's almost frantic as he searches for the first letter, scattering them around himself until he finds it; labelled a week after Suguru had taken Satoru with him to pursue what they had believed to be an impossible dream. Suguru hesitates only for a moment, until with one decisive swipe, he rips the flap from the waxy paper beneath. This one is addressed to him.

Suguru,

My parents put me in therapy. Remember how we always used to joke that if anyone needed it, it would be you? Why did you leave me? What did I do wrong? It hurts, Sugu, why, why, why My therapist thinks that keeping letters will help, and my parents want me to at least give it a try. Mom won't say anything, but I know she's concerned. Dad's already torn into Toru's parents, so the whole town is fully aware of what they've done. Shoko says that they're practically livid with shame, skulking around the town as that'll fix their reputation. You missed it; there was one night when the fireflies came back, and I swear they filled the entire sky. It was beautiful. It reminded me of the first time we met, do you remember that?

I wish you'd been here to see it. I'm sorry, Suguru. I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough to take along. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you I love you. I hope you're safe. I hope you're taking care of Toru for me.

I love you so much that it's hard to be mad.

Water drips down onto the ink of where you'd signed your name, and with a start, Suguru realizes he's crying. Gently folding the letter, he sets it aside, and reaches for the next one.

Mom and Dad have what Grandma had. I'm scared, Toru. I wish you were here. You'd always say something silly that would make me forget for even a moment.

Another.

I saw you on the television today, Toru. You're so beautiful it hurts.

Another.

I've given up on properly going to college. They're so sick that I'm terrified to leave them alone.

More. More. More.

I try my best not to listen, but the radio in the coffee shop plays the songs you make, Sugu. I hate it, but it's selfish of me. The girl you sing about, does Toru get along with her? Does she make you happy?

He can't stop himself from reading any more than he can stop the tears pouring down his face. They'd missed so much of your life, and yet you'd dutifully written letter after letter, as if you'd planned on them seeing it. Like you hoped they would come back some day. The next letter was only written two years ago, but it turns Suguru's blood to ice.

I saw the scandal on one of the gossip magazines while I was out shopping for groceries, Toru. The Chanel model? Really? I was kind of hoping for the Gucci one, she seems so nice to her assistant.

I say this like you're a celebrity. A celebrity that I can just laugh at, and say "must be nice, having supermodels fall into your lap!" You were mine, once, long before you were hers. I love loved you.

I did something stupid, last night. Remember Kenji, from high school? The one you always hated? I can't even explain it, how furious I was, when I saw you with that model. You looked so happy, like it didn't matter that all your joy and abundance didn't come at my expense.

I ended up sleeping with him for the first time, with anyone for the first time really. I'm not going to write more; it's embarrassing, and it wasn't even good, but I think I'm more upset with myself. It doesn't matter.

It's not like you'll ever find out. Even if you do, it's not like you'll care.

It's not like my love mattered to you to begin with.

Suguru's chest feels as though someone has washed his heart in acid. On paper, the person you were after they left was more jaded. Less optimistic. You no longer spoke of things you wished they were able to experience with you, but rather all the things they'd left behind. You thought they didn't care, and as he forces his useless lungs to take another breath, he knows that he can't leave this town until he convinces you to come with him. As he stumbles down from the attic, dress in hand, your mother gives him a knowing stare.

"Did you find the dress I asked you to grab?"

"Yes ma'am," Suguru says numbly. It's all he says. It's all he can say. Your mother sighs, patting the chair next to her. "Why don't you call Satoru over, hm? Try some of the tea I bought. I remember your mother saying you only drink black. You really should call her more."

Why is light given to a man whose way is hid, and whom God hath hedged in?

"I'm home!" you call out, slipping your shoes off with one hand as you balance the full bag of groceries in the other. "Did you take your medi-"

The carrots drop to the floor as you take in the sight of Gojo and Geto sitting at your kitchen table with your mother of all people. "What the fuck?"

Geto's eyes are rimmed red, like he'd been crying, while Satoru stares at you with a hint of anguish. "What the fuck," you repeat again, dumbfounded. "Why are you in my house right now?"

Geto opens his mouth to speak, but your mother waves it away. "You know how bad my back's been lately, I really wanted to wear that old emerald dress your father got me, do you remember?"

Stunned, you can only nod.

"And, I didn't want to have you come all the way back from the city just to grab a dress for me, so I called over Suguru and Satoru to help me out," your mother finishes. You can't stop the panic from leaking into your voice.

"Where was the dress?"

From the look on their faces, you know that Geto and Gojo have found it. All the letters you were too weak to send, too weak to throw away. How much did they read?

"The attic, dear," is your mother's quiet response, and when you turn her attention to her, you can see the quiet love and encouragement in her eyes.

What's more important? The love for all the things they did do, or all the things they didn't?

White noises rushes into your head, and you can barely process your mother's departure. Something about Bingo Night? The door clicks shut and you're left with silence so profound that your body almost instinctively crumples in on itself. Suguru can't look you in the eyes, absentmindedly tracing the rim of the delicate porcelain teacup that looks comically small next to his calloused hands. Satoru merely watches, but you can see the tension in his neck, in the way his fingers flex around empty air.

So, you do the only thing you can do. You run.

Turning, you all but sprint up the stairs. You lied. You couldn't do this, couldn't face them, see them, hear them-

Toned arms reach around from behind, pulling you decisively to a well-defined chest. The air is forced out of your lungs as you yelp, squirming out of the hold, only to freeze as Satoru places his cheek on your head, nuzzling into your hair.

"I missed you."

Tears spring to your eyes but Satoru keeps going. "You were the only thing that kept us going. Our apartment was so shitty, we had to put cardboard on the floor just to keep warm. I thought of you all the time. I thought of which stage outfit you'd like better, how you would get along so well with the other members of the group. We didn't forget you. We love you too much for that."

"Stop," you choke out, as your legs crumple under you. Satoru catches you, tugging you further into him, as tears trickle down your face. A blurred shape; Suguru, kneeling in front of you, gently taking your hands in his.

"One chance, princess," he breathes. "Give us one chance to explain ourselves. After that, we'll do whatever you want, give you whatever you want. We've only ever been yours."

[oretskov]

　　　　　　　　　　　(⁠´⁠ε⁠｀⁠ ⁠) ⠀ ， ♡!

　　another philosopher wrote, "why can a grisha possess but one amplifier? i will answer this question instead: 　what is infinite? the universe and the greed of men."

— siege and storm (shadow and bone trilogy, ⋕2), leigh bardugo.

　　　　⟆  ﹒ 　 influencer dr 　 ⠀⠀..⠀⠀(⠀ ₊⠀ ଓ⠀⠀ 

somerville's girl-next-door to a household of an older boy and his triplet brothers. best friends since little kiddos, she's always been their number one supporter and helping hand — especially in their passion to be youtubers. five years later and with millions of subscribers, she's happy to reside in los angeles with her boyfriend and his brothers as a college student herself. ( set in 2025 ) 　　　[ s / o ] . . . matt sturniolo ☆

　  　  ꒲ more !

　　　　⟆  ﹒ 　 titans dr 　 ⠀⠀..⠀⠀(⠀ ₊⠀ ଓ⠀⠀ 

tragedy always followed her — born sick and anemic, doctors could never identify what was truly wrong with her. mother passed from giving birth, her father was left to singlehandedly fend for his child. his last resort? theology. unlike hospitals, the church of blood knew this baby very well. for the prophecy called her the scarlet child, destroyer of the non-believers. however, if you asked her, she'd prefer the name: bloodlust. ( set in 2021 ) 　　　[ s / o ] . . . gar logan ☆

　  　  ꒲ more !

　  　  　  　  ﹐ ⠀⠀my powers: a study on hemokinesis

　  　  　  　  ﹐ ⠀⠀who is she?

　　　　⟆  ﹒ 　 avatar dr 　 ⠀⠀..⠀⠀(⠀ ₊⠀ ଓ⠀⠀ 

daughter of fine warrior and former olo'eyktan, tsu'tey. she was lucky to get her father's genes, for at fourteen-years-old, she was omatikaya clan's youngest and most respected warrior — along with neteyam — that perfect twat. ( set in 2170 ) 　　　[ s / o ] . . . lo'ak / neteyam — undecided ☆

　  　  ꒲ more !

　　　　⟆  ﹒ 　 hogwarts dr 　 ⠀⠀..⠀⠀(⠀ ₊⠀ ଓ⠀⠀ 

the quiet and brooding half-blood witch always seemed to attract rumours and never friends. for who would want to befriend a hot-headed girl, (falsely) accused of using the cruciatus curse? a certain pair of red-headed, trickster twins wouldn't mind. ( set in 2022 ) 　　　[ s / o ] . . . fred & george weasley ☆

　  　  ꒲ more !

　  　  　  　  ﹐ ⠀⠀my inventions

　　　　⟆  ﹒ 　 band dr 　 ⠀⠀..⠀⠀(⠀ ₊⠀ ଓ⠀⠀ 

everybody loves the cool producer and song-writer for wallows. most especially, a certain member of the said band. she's been with them since their hit album, nothing happens, a lyrical genius at such a youthful age. she's had many solo hits of her own, been featured in wallows' songs, and a beloved part of their live tour band as a drummer. ( set in 2024 ) 　　　[ s / o ] . . . braeden lemasters ☆

　  　  ꒲ more !

　  　  　  　  ﹐ ⠀⠀solo discography

　  　  　  　  ﹐ ⠀⠀songs i've produced/written

　  　  　  　  ﹐ ⠀⠀dating life / songs written about me

　  　  　  　  ﹐ ⠀⠀braeden & atira: the lore

　  　  　  　  ﹐ ⠀⠀interviews i've been in

　　　　⟆  ﹒ 　 high school musical: the musical: the series dr 　 ⠀⠀..⠀⠀(⠀ ₊⠀ ଓ⠀⠀ 

best friends with big red and ricky bowen, she's equally as dorky as them. video games, comics, smoking ganja and skateboarding. why not be a theatre kid as well? ( set in 2022 ) 　　　[ s / o ] . . . ricky bowen / ej caswell — undecided ☆

　  　  ꒲ more !

　　　　⟆  ﹒ 　 the chronicles of narnia dr 　 ⠀⠀..⠀⠀(⠀ ₊⠀ ଓ⠀⠀ 

growing up in england at saint finbar's co-ed boarding school, her life took a turn when her dorm mate, susan pevensie, woke up in the middle of the night, alerting her that her little sister, lucy, was having a breakdown to their brother, peter. the two girls sought after them, concerned for the youngest pevensie. though lucy only had a bad dream, the five of them couldn't risk getting caught sneaking out past curfew. upon hearing a patrolling teacher's footsteps, they fled to an abandoned classroom, hiding in a dusty wardrobe. when they stumbled further in, they were met by the wonders of narnia. the pevensies, meant to save the kingdom from the white witch as kings and queens. and their friend, meant to be their loyal general and fearless warrior, as the demi-god child of ares. ( set in 2022 ) 　　　[ s / o ] . . . edmund pevensie ☆

　  　  ꒲ more !

　　　　⟆  ﹒ 　 slushy noobz dr 　 ⠀⠀..⠀⠀(⠀ ₊⠀ ଓ⠀⠀ 

freshly graduated with a degree in psychology, she decides to take a year off and work in a coffee shop instead. a certain regular seems to be enamoured by her — he even admits it on his patreon podcast. his fans call her 'coffee girl' after hearing such tales come out of his mouth. luckily for him, she's also the best friend of his best friend's girlfriend. ( set in 2024 ) 　　　[ s / o ] . . . hamzahthefantastic ☆

　  　  ꒲ more !

　　　　⟆  ﹒ 　 dc comics dr 　 ⠀⠀..⠀⠀(⠀ ₊⠀ ଓ⠀⠀ 

born in 1865 as indian royalty, she was always a sick child with an unknown blood condition. her two mothers were never accepted socially, so they took her and moved to america, living with her artist of biological uncle. they resided in a beautiful gothic castle by the outskirts of gotham: content for once. unfortunately, peace would not last long as a plague would hit, wiping the whole family of four clean. 139 years later, the church of blood stumbles upon the sick child's coffin, chanting to reawaken her. vampira, the media calls her. and civilians are lucky that batman and the teen titans had managed to save her. or else she would've still been a pawn for evil, with powers to control blood and the living. ( set in 2025 ) 　　　[ s / o ] . . . tim drake ☆

　  　  ꒲ more !

　  　  　  　  ﹐ ⠀⠀my powers: a study on hemokinesis

　　　　⟆  ﹒ 　 ghost (band) dr 　 ⠀⠀..⠀⠀(⠀ ₊⠀ ଓ⠀⠀ 

a water ghoulette brought from the pits of hell, she is a powerful one at that, having the rare ability to manipulate blood as well. fortunately for her, she lives a rather comfortable life up on earth in a satanic church. she's one of the two bassists for the ministry's ghost project. their aim? to spread to message of satan — and make good music. ( set in 2024 ) 　　　[ s / o ] . . . rain ghoul, dewdrop ghoul, mountain ghoul, phantom ghoul ☆

　  　  ꒲ more !

　　　　⟆  ﹒ 　 tokyo revengers dr 　 ⠀⠀..⠀⠀(⠀ ₊⠀ ଓ⠀⠀ 

when an elementary school girl manages to land a hit on the invincible mikey, an unexpected friendship blossoms. soon enough, she's one of the founders of tokyo manji gang. by her age nineteen, toman is a well respected and feared biker gang. though, she's no longer first division's second-in-command, she's an alumni and respectable member to everyone there. looks like takemichi finally found a good timeline. ( set in 2025 ) 　　　[ s / o ] . . . ken 'draken' ryuguji / takashi mitsuya — undecided or both maybe idk ☆

　  　  ꒲ more !

　　　　⟆  ﹒ 　 x-men dr 　 ⠀⠀..⠀⠀(⠀ ₊⠀ ଓ⠀⠀ 

she always thought she wasn't special — born severely anemic and raised under a rocky household. i suppose it's the complete opposite, as her life takes a turn when her mutant genes unlock on a random day at age thirteen. if it means escaping the hellhole of her family, she's happy to enroll at xavier's school for gifted youngsters. woah, she even gets to be an x-men after helping stop apocalypse! ( set in 2025 ) 　　　[ s / o ] . . . peter maximoff ☆

　  　  ꒲ more !

　  　  　  　  ﹐ ⠀⠀my powers: a study on hemokinesis

　　　　⟆  ﹒ 　 ultimate spider-man dr 　 ⠀⠀..⠀⠀(⠀ ₊⠀ ଓ⠀⠀ 

when a vacation to america leads to the loss of her family and the gain of superpowers, the young girl has no choice but to fall under doctor strange's apprenticeship before anyone more evil gets to her. six years later, she's a vigilante with a loving adoptive father. for a year now, she's been under a project in S.H.I.E.L.D with her team and best friends — nova, spider-man, white tiger, iron fist and power man. ( set in 2025 ) 　　　[ s / o ] . . . danny rand ☆

　  　  ꒲ more !

[explosionshark]

2024 AOTY

by me! your pal, bri-bri

originally i was going to just write up the first ten albums or so, but then i had things i wanted to say about the rest of 'em so i just kept going. that made the list really long though. so here's just the numbered list, under the cut you'll find my extended thoughts n feelings :)

What I'll Leave Behind by Void of Vision

For Your Consideration by Empress Of

Sanshi by Ripped to Shreds

Coup de Grace by Seeyouspacecowboy

Aumicide by Atrae Bilis

Children of the Moon by State Faults

Ridiculous and Full of Blood by Julie Christmas

Absolute Elsewhere by Blood Incantation

Lonely People [EP] by Love Rarely

Cutting the Throat of God by Ulcerate

Infinite Mortality by Replicant

I Got Heaven by Mannequin Pussy

Valerie by Tei Shi

Forever by Charly Bliss

You Could Do It Tonight by Couch Slut

World Fighter by Angel Sword

Hicimos Crecer un Bosque by Fin del Mundo

Ephemera [EP] by Ben Quad

Stygian Rose by Crypt Sermon

Infinite Void by With Sails Ahead

Vault of Horrors by Aborted

Revelations by Sarah Shook & the Disarmers

Steps Ascending by Stand Still

The Tower by Urban Heat

AOTY 2024

Full list here: write-ups for specific albums under th cut. Ranked somewhat arbitrarily.

1. What I'll Leave Behind by Void of Vision (metalcore) - absolute bummer that this will be the final album by these guys, but I'm grateful for the fact that I was able to see them a few times before they had to call it quits. Been describing this as like a song missing from the Saw 2 soundtrack or something that should have been playing at one of the clubs in Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines or something. I feel like that's accurate - alt metalcore with its nails painted black and a profound love of Nine Inch Nails. Strong lyricism drawn from real trauma, enough fun electronics to make them stand out from more generic metalcore acts, plenty of hooks and some sick breakdowns as well to keep things heavy. I hope Jack Bergin's brain never explodes again and retiring from touring helps him lead a long and healthier life. "Gamma Knife" is the highlight for me

2. For Your Consideration by Empress Of (Pop) - my favorite pop album of the year. Lorely Rodriguez is so insanely talented, this album has a pretty diverse range of sounds without becoming too inconsistent. I love that there's raunchy club bangers like "Femenine" right next to sappy love songs like "Kiss Me" and more introspective tracks like "What Type of Girl Am I?"

3. Sanshi by Ripped to Shreds (Death Metal) - very good year for death metal but I think this is my favorite DM record of the year. I've always enjoyed Andy Lee's projects and Ripped to Shreds has been my favorite of them for years but expanding to a full band has taken them to a whole nother level. Killer riffage throughout, insanely fun lead swapping between Lee and Michael Chavez. "Horrendous Corpse Resurrection" is easily one of my top songs of the year

4. Coup de Grace by Seeyouspacecowboy (Metalcore) - this was a big big SYSC year for me, in large part bc I ended up seeing them live so many times. Honestly initially I struggled with Coup de Grace because it leans harder into the dramatic, theatrical MCR/P!ATD style of emo than any of their other work, and that's not necessarily to my taste. This still makes the top 5 despite regularly skipping several songs on each listen because the rest of it is so damn good. Could not stop listening to it this fall. Safe to say it grew on me. "Chewing the Scenery" and "Subtle Whispers to Take Your Breath Away" were two of my most played tracks for the whole year

5. Aumicide by Atrae Bilis (Death Metal) - one of the most underrated death metal bands active rn imo. No sophomore slump for these guys, this record absolutely smokes from start to finish. It's heavy and it's nasty, but it still grooves. There's enough melody to make it addictive but they're still able to maintain the harshness that makes dissonant death metal compelling. "Hell Simulation" and the closing track "Excruciate Incarnate" are perfect examples of the balance they strike between those two modes

6. Children of the Moon by State Faults (post-hardcore) - 2024 was the year I discovered State Faults. Very much the experience of finding a band that is so much Your Shit that it feels insane that you're almost a decade late to the party. Children of the Moon is the best post-hardcore album of the year imo and it's not even close. These guys draw from an incredible range of influences to create some of the most affecting work in the genre - brutal and beautiful and profound. "Palo Santo" and "No Gospel" absolutely blow me away every time

7. Ridiculous and Full of Blood by Julie Christmas (post-metal? Noise? Julie Christmascore) - anyone already familiar with Julie Christmas' work does not need me to explain why she's such a powerhouse and anyone not familiar will be done a disservice by anything short of listening to her music for themself. All I can truly say about Ridiculous and Full of Blood is that it's one of the most dynamic, interesting albums of the year and I just hope to God she doesn't make us wait another 14 years for her next solo record. The band she assembled for this album is insane across the board, but in particular it was a delight to see her collaborating with Johannes Persson again eight years after the absolutely masterful collaboration with Cult of Luna. If you listen to only one song out of all the stuff I'm recommending today, let it be "The Lighthouse"

8. Absolute Elsewhere by Blood Incantation (progressive death metal) - everyone won't shut up about this album but in this case the praise is absolutely earned. Cosmic, atmospheric, brutal, spacey, heavy as hell. With a Tangerine Dream collaboration no less! Essentially comprised of two long songs, Absolute Elsewhere is a record you need to make time for, meant to be listened to in full to get the most out of it, but it's so, so worth it to take the time. A stunning, transportive piece

9. Lonely People [EP] by Love Rarely (post-hardcore/math rock) - my favorite EP of the year. A very exciting band, they fuse hooky, math rock riffs with post-hardcore intensity. Courtney Levitt's vocals are incredible - a combination of throat shredding shrieks and powerful, emotional clean singing that makes you instantly sit up and pay more attention. "Say Yes" was on repeat for me all year

10. Cutting the Throat of God by Ulcerate (death metal) - an absolutely crushing, depressive, beautiful piece of dissonant death metal. Undeniably heavy, but on this outing we see Ulcerate lean into some post-rock esque melodicism that elevates their sound even further. It's such an atmospheric album - grim and unrelenting, but strangely delicate in places. Top notch musicianship throughout, but Jaime Saint-Merat's drumming is just mind-blowing. The title track is a must-listen song for anyone who gives a shit about heavy music at all

11. Infinite Mortality by Replicant (Death Metal) - I noticed in my write-ups for the other two dissonant death metal albums on this list, I took a moment to highlight and praise the melodicism therein. That won't be happening for Infinite Mortality. That's not to say there's zero melody at all but to emphasize how much that's not the draw here. This album is an altogether darker, nastier, more menacing affair. There's a grime here, a dizzying, sinister undertone of violence. My first time listening to this record was as background music while I was reading Crypt of the Moon Spider by Nathan Ballingrud and there was a scene in that book I was reading during "Orgasm of Bereavement" where the combination of the sounds I was hearing and the words I was reading gave me a full-body sensory experience: goosebumps, a faint sense of nausea, slight dizziness. I can't think of a stronger album recommendation than that.

12. I Got Heaven by Mannequin Pussy (Rock) - ANOTHER BANGER FROM MISSY DABICE AND CO. Mannequin Pussy keep getting better and better and it seems like they're finally (deservedly) starting to blow up with this record. It's a joy to listen to - snarky, vulnerable, earnest, clever, joyful and pissed off in turns. "Loud Bark" is already iconic, easily one of the finest songs they've written in an already stacked career of certifiable bangers

13. Valerie by Tei Shi (pop) - my second favorite pop album of the year! Tei Shi's first independent release. The breadth of songs on this album is incredible - bachata inflected pop kicks the album off with the explosively catchy "QQ (QUÉDATE QUERIENDOME)" and by the middle of the record we've somehow transitioned to intimate, heart wrenchingly vulnerable meditations on a painful miscarriage with "Falling From Grace." Frustration with the major label rat race as well as evergreen pop subjects of love and heartbreak fill out the rest of the album, but no matter the topic or the style of the song, everything feels honest and confident. The Spanglish version of "Mona Lisa" is one of my favorite pop songs of the year

14. Forever by Charly Bliss (Rock/Power Pop) - talking about honest, vulnerable music! Charly Bliss made their comeback this year and it's unsurprisingly one of the best albums to come out in 2024. Forever feels like a great marriage of the sounds on their other two LPs, Guppy and Young Enough. The band is still leaning into the pop sound that clearly enthralls them but there's a welcome return for fun guitar riffs too. Also there's no album on this list that has a stronger opening than the three song run of "Tragic" to "Calling You Out" to "Back There Now"

15. You Could Do It Tonight by Couch Slut (Sludge Metal/Noise) - okay enough pop music time for something gross and gnarly and almost guaranteed to give you some kind of disease. Couch Slut have always been here to upset you - and holy shit are they good at it on this album. Each and every song on this record is a provocative, stomach-churning vignette in its own right but none moreso than "The Donkey" where Megan Osztrosits recounts a horrifyingly fucked up story of a friend's drug-fueled bout of self mutilation in Chat Pile-esque spoken word over massive, dirty sludge metal riffs. It's fucking sick. "Here's what happened when my friends and I got fired from a haunted water park" - tell me you don't want to hear how the rest of this story goes, even knowing it will end in a grotesque, bloody mess.

16. World Fighter by Angel Sword (Heavy Metal) - okay enough edgelord shit now we're back to having fun. I honestly didn't think there would be a trad metal release that would top Razor Wire by Mean Mistreater, and then I stumbled into Angel Sword this summer. It's just candy, man. Extremely catchy 80s style riffs, incredible hooks, gritty yet charming vocals. This album is dripping in neon, racing down the highway at 90 miles an hour with two topless babes in the backseat telling you how cool your studded denim jacket and fresh perm look. "Vigilantes" never gets old for me

17. Hicimos Crecer un Bosque by Fin del Mundo (shoegaze) - kinda wild that this is the only shoegaze album that made it onto my list this year but it is what it is! And what it is in this case is the killer second album by Argentinian band Fin del Mundo. If you like fuzzy guitars and ethereal vocals, this is the record on this list for you. Although labeling them a shoegaze band is accurate, it fails to account for the ways post-rock, emo, and dream pop elevate the bands sound to another level. It's a record that's soothing and engaging at the same time, well produced, clear sounding without being too polished. "Vivimos lejos" brings a charming kind of ASIWYFA-style combination of gang vocals and emo instrumentals, resulting in basically four and half perfect minutes of music

18. Ephemera [EP] by Ben Quad (post-hardcore) - many bands are doing the throwback 00s emo/metalcore thing right now, but few of them are doing it as well as Ben Quad on this EP. This is basically They're Only Chasing Safety-worship but that's fine by me. Frantic, melodic, scathing and nakedly emotional, I love the intensity of this EP. I'd kill for a full record in this style tbh, but for now I'll be happy with what we've got. It's an incredibly short 11 minute runtime so I'd really recommend just listening to the whole thing but if nothing else, don't skip "Your Face as an Effigy"

19. Stygian Rose by Crypt Sermon (Epic Heavy Metal) - epic heavy metal, I'm sure, sounds like the stupidest genre name in the world. But like, listen to Stygian Rose and you'll immediately understand there's nothing else that describes it as well. Big, heavy doomy guitars, fast drumming, crazy soloing, nimble bass riffage, powerful heavy metal vocals and lyrics about like wizards and evil kings and stuff? Lie to yourself if you want, but I know the truth. This album fucks hard. "Heavy is the Crown of Bone" and "Glimmers in the Underworld" are crushing, face-melting works of fantasy bullshit. I can't get enough of this album

20. Infinite Void by With Sails Ahead (Post-hardcore) - I discovered these guys through a collaboration with Pulses. last year and I spent most of the intervening time eagerly anticipating the release of their debut LP Infinite Void. And let me tell you, it did not disappoint. It's an incredibly confident and fun first record - firmly on the Swancore side of PHC but lacking a lot of what tends to annoy me in that subgenre (insufferable songs about the male ego). Sierra Binondo's powerful and diverse vocal range really takes these guys to another level in a genre where extremely talented musicians are a dime a dozen. Go listen to "Ryn" right now and tell me you're not at least a little bit in love now

21. Vault of Horrors by Aborted (Brutal Death Metal) - it's Aborted! It's a cheeseburger. But it's a really, really, really good cheeseburger after you've been craving one for ages. This record has two gimmicks - all the songs are based on horror movies and each has a feature from a guest vocalist. Admittedly, I find brutal/tech death to be kind of wearying after a while and this tends to affect listenability for me, which is precisely why this album has a place on my AOTY list - I don't get tired of it. It's brutal and punishing but catchy and fun to listen to. Daníel Konráðsso absolutely does not sound like a human being on this. I bet his calf muscles are insane, because the double bass on this record is frankly disgusting. "The Golgothan" has my favorite riff of the record, but there's no bad tracks, honestly

22. Revelations by Sarah Shook & the Disarmers (Alt Country) - haven't really figured out a way to talk about this band that doesn't feel at least a little bit like deadnaming singer/guitarist River Shook but they've yet to change their band name so! Admittedly, not a very country heavy year for me, but if everything I've dabbled in, Revelations is the easy standout. Continuing the band's legacy of clever, honest lyricism and rollicking country rock musicianship, Revelations feels like the best version of their sound yet. "Motherfucker" is a straightforward, righteously pissed off ode to gross, predatory men in the industry, "Backsliders" is a good old fashioned broken-hearted ode to a bad relationship, while "Jane Doe" is the easy standout shot through with emotion, clever lyricism and brilliant guitar work

23. Steps Ascending by Stand Still (Pop Punk/Melodic Hardcore) - I was a teen in the 00s so I'll always be weak to that very Long Island melodic hardcore in 2004 sound that this album is evoking so perfectly. I love fast drums, I love posi philosophical lyrics, I love those melodic, angular guitar riffs, I love a guy shouting and I love gang vocals. Those things in combination just always work on me. "We Know the Score" + "Mysticism" are the perfect 'holler along at the top of your lungs in the car' combo

24. The Tower by Urban Heat (Post-Punk) - one of my most anticipated albums of the year. When they started the album rollout with singles like "Sanitizer" and "Right Time of Night" I had a pretty good idea that the final product would have a good shot at being one of my favorite records of the year. And of course I was right. Most Post-Punk isn't quite capable of keeping my attention, but Urban Heat are so damn good at songcraft. The songs on this record are incredibly dynamic, ranging from the snotty disdain of the aforementioned "Sanitizer" to the surprising tenderness of the New Wave ballad "Seven Safe Places." It's an incredibly strong showing from a really exciting band. I've heard they're killer live, too. Maybe if I'm lucky this coming year I'll get a chance to find out for myself.

And that's it! 24 for 24

Except for these also >:)

Honorable Mentions (aka albums it killed me to leave off this list so I'm cheating by adding them here)

Club Shy [EP] by Shygirl

Prude by Drug Church

It's Inside You by Candy

Sunrise Over Rigor Mortis by Beaten to Death

Verses in Oath by Hulder

Beating the Drums of Ancestral Force by Tzompantli

Agony & Wounds by Obscene

Cure by ERRA

Songs of Blood and Mire by Spectral Wound

The Cycles of Trying to Cope by Like Moths to Flames

Razor Wire by Mean Mistreater

I'll Drown on This Earth by Cold Gawd

Heaven Let them Die [EP] by Counterparts

Dark Superstition by Gatecreeper

[omegalomania]

i kept forgetting to do this, but i finally remembered we got permission to upload the full pieces done for the SEASONS ZINE! they're not quite as good without @deathchic's gorgeous prose accompanying them, but they were really exciting to put together.

full breakdowns of the symbolism and unobstructed views of each card can be found beneath the cut, fully transcribed. as a warning, they are LONG.

my category was "fall," which encompassed the folie and save rock and roll eras, including the welcome to the new administration mixtape and pax am days ep. seeing as i've a great deal of love for all four of those works and fall out boy has four members, i decided to highlight each work by creating a tarot-inspired card, each featuring a member of the band.

Welcome to the New Administration: Pete Wentz

Pete was the primary organizer behind the viral campaign for CitizensFOB, making him the ideal pick for this card. His card prominently features his bass guitar with the iconic Clandestine logo.

Repeating Number 4: 4 stars above the eagle's head, 4 markings across the cube at the center, 4 members of the band

The tri-colored drapes behind Pete were suspended behind the band on the mixtape cover. The curtains parting over a black background signifies the oncoming hiatus.

The cube-like geometric shape in front of the eagle represents the single promotional art done for "America's Suitehearts," which was one of the tracks demoed in the mixtape and one of the singles that connected most prominently with the themes of the mixtape.

The shield Pete carries and the eagle mounted behind him are both symbols that were used to promote the CitizensFOB viral campaign, featuring the catchphrase: "For Our Betterment, There Is More Mayhem."

Pete's apparel is what he was wearing for the Believers Never Die Part Deux tour, in which there was a lot of direct satirization of Wall Street and American politics. All the band members were wearing suits and looking visibly battered, and Pete had a nosebleed. Patrick also has a nosebleed on his own card; both Pete and Patrick's cards are pre-hiatus projects.

The symbols at the four corners of the card are indicative of the imagery surrounding the campaign. The pointing hand comes from the cover for the mixtape; the airplane is a reference to the "Mailbaick Vaintey and Pidetaerson Firm" videos and accounts that were used in the viral campaign; the wolf head is for the "Alpha Dog" demo, which made its debut on the CitizensFOB mixtape and namedropped "Welcome to the New Administration" title in its demo form; the boomerang is for the "Lake Effect Kid" demo, which also made its debut on the CitizensFOB mixtape.

"The Citizen" is an obvious reference to the "Citizens For Our Betterment" campaign name.

The card features 12 colors, all colorpicked from the Welcome to the New Administration mixtape cover. This represents the 12 artists who contributed the mixtape musically (not merely speaking roles): The Academy Is..., Butch Watcher, The Cab, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, Four Year Strong, Gym Class Heroes, Hey Monday, The Hush Sound, Panic! At The Disco, A Rocket to the Moon, and Tyga.

The background elements are indicative of the state of the band prior to the hiatus: the leaves are in tatters and shreds. The sunflower is a native Chicago variant, Helianthus occidentalis, late-blooming sunflower that lasts well into early fall. Sunflowers obviously have a strong association with the sun, but they also stand for adoration, loyalty, good fortune, vitality, longevity, and prosperity. The bright yellow color also associates them with intelligence, happiness, and friendship. Van Gogh had a famous Sunflower series, leading to the obvious connection to Infinity on High, the album preceding the Folie era. This made it a good pick for the pre-hiatus cards, since it was loyalty and friendship that led to the hiatus and ultimately to the band's longevity and vitality. Both Folie à Deux and the Welcome to the New Administration mixtape had more yellow tones than their post-hiatus counterparts as well, thus the pick of a yellow flower.

Folie à Deux: Patrick Stump

Patrick has stated that Folie à Deux is the most "him" out of Fall Out Boy's discography, making him ideal for this card.

Repeating Number 4: 4 electric bursts from the microphone, 4-sided symbol mounted on the microphone, 4 ruffles on Dr. Benzedrine's front

The card features 13 colors to represent the 13 tracks on the album itself (excluding bonus tracks). All colors were colorpicked directly from the album cover.

The anchor is a reference to the lyrics of "27," with a crown symbol on it in reference to "Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet."

There are 9 stripes on the upper side of the background, as a reference to "West Coast Smoker" - the suicidal cats have 9 lives.

The microphone represents Patrick's role as vocalist. It is also a reference to "(Coffee's for Closers)," as the microphone stand is electrified.

Patrick's right half is modeled after his costume in the "America's Suitehearts" video, "Dr. Benzedrine." He has a nosebleed in reference to the lyrics of the song that is his namesake, "20 Dollar Nose Bleed." Both he and Pete represent pre-hiatus projects, and both have bleeding noses.

Patrick's left half is modeled after his costume in the "What A Catch, Donnie" video. He has 20 stripes on his shirt - half black and half white, keeping with themes of duality. The 20 total stripes also references "20 Dollar Nose Bleed."

The background on the bottom half is shattered into 15 visible fragments, indicating the 15 tracks of the full album (when including bonus tracks such as "Pavlove" and "Lullabye"). There are also 27 fragments scattered between the two halves of Patrick, representing "27" and the 27 club.

The symbols at the four corners have dual meanings, in keeping with the theme of duality. The bee is both a lyrical reference to "Lullabye" and a nod to the intro of "Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes"; the storm cloud is both a nod to the lyrics of "She's My Winona" and a reference to the "Mr. Sandman" character in the "America's Suitehearts" video; the horseshoe crab is both a reference to the lyrics on "The (Shipped) Gold Standard" and to the character of "H. Shoe Crab" in the "America's Suitehearts" video; the sunflower acknowledges the lyrics in "27" about shooting the sunshine into one's veins and nods to the flower on the hat of the "Donnie the Catcher" character in the "America's Suitehearts" video.

"The Mirror" references the theming of duality on the album, as well as the fact that the vinyl required a mirror for one to read the tracklisting since the text was printed backwards.

The card features heavy themes of duality to suit the theme of a "madness shared by two." The image is bisected in several respects: Patrick is fractured in two, both halves wearing different costumes and expressions; the shadow in the center is split down the middle; the broken heart in the upper half is also two faces; the image is divided both horizontally and vertically; and a dichotomy of fire (the electrified microphone stand) and water (the anchor).

Save Rock and Roll: Joe Trohman

Joe took a much more active writing role post-hiatus and on this album in particular, making him a good pick to represent Save Rock and Roll.

Repeating Number 4: 4 symbols, 4-pointed symbol holding up the others

The card features 11 colors, representing 11 tracks on the album. All colors were color-picked directly from the album cover, with an emphasis on reds, to suit the "red palette" imagery surrounding the album.

This card is saturated with imagery from the 11-part video series the band released in conjunction with the album, "The Youngblood Chronicles." Joe is wearing the costume he had for the majority of the video series prior to his death.

The card features heavy fire imagery due to this being a motif on the album and on the associated video series, with smoke rising up in the background. This is indicative of the band "rising from the ashes" post-hiatus, and also symbolizes the resurrection of Joe's character at the end of "The Youngblood Chronicles."

The guitar-axe weapon is from the "Death Valley" video and would have been his weapon if he weren't dead at this point in time. The card prominently features Joe's guitar, albeit turned into a weapon, as befitting the theming.

The four symbols mounted behind Joe are also from "The Youngblood Chronicles" - the symbol representing the "Silence the Noise" group; the symbol associated with the gang of child bikers; the symbol the Prince of Darkness tattoos on Joe's hand; and the crown-and-volcano symbol associated with the band post-hiatus. The symbol upon which these four icons are mounted is found on the floor in Heaven in the "Save Rock and Roll" video.

Joe is the only one who does not face the audience directly, and is turned in profile. Given the fictional nature of the narrative of "The Youngblood Chronicles," he has the most distance from the fourth wall.

The symbols at the four corners of the card also draw from imagery from "The Youngblood Chronicles." The disco ball is from the "Where Did the Party Go" video, in which Joe's character dies. The briefcase is a consistent object throughout the entire series, and serves to incite the entire narrative. Patrick's hook hand, also seen throughout, is significant due to Patrick's unwitting role as Joe's murderer. The snake, seen in "Young Volcanoes" and "Just One Yesterday," is representative of the group's collective trauma.

"The Defender" is a reference to the names of the characters of Fall Out Boy in "The Youngblood Chronicles," as they are referred to as "The Defenders of the Faith" in the longform video's opening credits. This title is in and of itself a reference to the title track on Save Rock and Roll.

Pax Am Days: Andy Hurley

The Pax Am Days EP is closest to the band's hardcore roots in terms of sonics and composition, and Andy is the most active in hardcore circles today, which makes him an ideal pick for this card.

Repeating 4: 4 holes in the American flag, 4 supports visible on the toms and bass drum, 4 tears on the left side of the wall

The card features 9 colors, all color-picked from the EP cover, per the 9 tracks on the EP (counting the bonus "New Dreams" Naked Rayguns cover).

There are also 9 tears on the right side of the wall, also befitting the 9 tracks on the EP.

The black-and-white checkered background represents the Pax Am studio where the EP was recorded and after which it was named.

Andy is the only one whose card features him looking directly at the audience, to signify the more intimate recording sessions behind the EP, in which studio chatter and laughter can be heard between every track. Being the drummer of the band, Andy's drumkit is naturally featured very prominently.

The crown-volcano symbol that's become synonymous with the band post-hiatus is (barely) visible mounted on Andy's bass drum. This is a similarity Andy's card shares with Joe's, as they both represent post-hiatus projects.

The American flag was also present in the studio for recording. The flag being torn and shredded on the card relates to tracks on the EP that discuss disillusionment with the American dream ("American Made"). It is also indicative of the eras preceding and following the Pax Am EP (Folie à Deux and the Welcome to the New Administration mixtape, and then American Beauty / American Psycho).

The four symbols at the corners of the card all represent lyrics present on the EP: the crown comes from "We Were Doomed from the Start (The King is Dead)"; the lion comes from "Demigods"; the black widow comes from "Hot to the Touch, Cold on the Inside"; the skull comes from "Love, Sex, Death."

"The Believer" is a reference to the final compilation prior to the band's four-year hiatus, "Believers Never Die." With the band returning seemingly from the dead, it seems that believers truly never die. This is paired with Andy reportedly being the only member of the band who always believed they would get back together, even if none of the others did.

The background elements for the post-hiatus cards feature leaves with much more reddish tones. The color red has a great deal of symbolic meanings, including high energy, vitality, strength, and prosperity. Additionally, the fallen leaves are rich and whole, to contrast the shredded-looking leaves in the background for the pre-hiatus cards. After the hiatus, the band's overall health and mentality was much healthier.

The flower in the background is a Madame Julia Correvon clematis, a wine-red Chicago variant of clematis that blooms in the summer and fall. Clematis flowers are associated with mental acuity, wisdom, travel, aspiration, and mischief. Red clematis in particular is associated with passion, energy, good luck, prosperity, security, physical vitality, and courage. This, along with the red color scheme, made it a good flower to represent the cards for the post-hiatus projects.

[fleshsigil]

the sky may be - review

//content warning: discussion of depression/dysphoria/mental illness

"The sky may be Behind all the clouds; But there are only clouds And there will only be clouds - forever"

the sky may be might be one of the most utterly harrowing, powerful and beautiful things i've ever listened to. i don't rate music with numbers because that's stupid, but this is solidly one of the most impactful pieces of music i've heard in years. the sky may be is an 8-song album from renowned noise artist xandra metcalfe, a.k.a uboa, self-released in 2018.

i wondered if it was even worth reviewing this album in the first place. the anger and desperation and agony present in its ~30min runtime is almost hard to put into words, and the content is so raw and personal, but it had so much of an impact on me that i really wanted to give it credit where credit was due. the majority of the album contains these breakdowns of crackling, deafening digital and mechanical harsh noise interspersed with choirs and gorgeous, rich ambience. in terms of vocals, they range from gut-punching, deadpan spoken word deliveries to nearly incomprehensible screaming.

listening to the sky may be is incredibly cathartic for me, as someone who really struggles with a lot of the same things xandra touches on, and there's no doubt that nothing can be compared to the pure, unrelenting anguish present on this album. i don't think any music i've ever heard has even come close to portraying this kind of feeling. i don't think this can be lumped in as "sad music" when it's undoubtedly in a class of its own. nothing can compare to the display of raw emotion that happens here. it is deafening, unrelentingly bleak, euphorically crushing. the lyrical content details self-hatred, isolation, deep depression, and the anger that stems from mental illness in a way that only someone who has experienced them can write and perform. i don't know if what i've experienced and am experiencing is on the same level as xandra's experiences, but i feel like i can empathize with this kind of music on a deeper level than anything else. the frantic screaming, the explosions of digital glitching and cacophonic noise, the soul-crushing depth, the moments of quiet, pained soliloquy convey these specific emotions in such an immediate and boundlessly effective way; i've listened to this album countless times, purely because nothing else is able to match the intensity and type of emotions i'm feeling. it's beautiful. it hurts. it oozes overwhelming darkness with brief glimmers of hope. it feels like how depression feels. i love it dearly and hate it with my whole heart at the same time.

despite how personal this album is, i'm infinitely grateful that xandra released it so that people in a similar situation had a source of catharsis and something to relate to, to cling to, in a sea of otherwise unrelenting darkness. this album has had such an impact on my life, and i hope that the people who need it will find this album somehow, through this review or otherwise.

thank you, uboa.

LINKS TO ALBUM ON SPOTIFY AND BANDCAMP BELOW

(i post music recommendations sometimes, if you want more of that kind of thing, you should follow me)

(PS: i will try to do a happier album that's not about crushing depression for the next review)

[lonelyroommp3]

For the music asks: 1, 5, 23! 💖

Waittt I meant 22 not 23 🙈 but by all means answer both haha

and i WILL be answering both 😤 also this got far more philosophical than i anticipated. thanks for the accidental monday morning therapy i suppose

an album you can’t stop listening to lately

as i already said in another answer i do not really listen to albums on repeat, and am definitely not doing that at the moment, so i'm once again going to use this as an "album i listened to recently and enjoyed" slot, and i am giving that slot to fires by nerina pallot (thank you, btw, to @flashbastard for recommending me this one when i was asking for album recs the other day)

5. name an album you feel is perfect

i'm showing my tumblr here and i don't even care. it's the black parade

23. name a song that you associate with being sad

i've always romanticised the idea of a big dramatic Starting Over moment, which is an idea that's lovely in theory but in reality often lends you to a spiral of "okay, well that didn't go perfectly, so we start again tomorrow, and before that to really seal the deal i'll do One Last Binge/One Last Day Without Getting Out Of Bed/One More Pulling A Sickie From Work and after that i will get up in the morning and everything will be perfect", and then that doesn't magically happen, so you do it again the very next day, and before you know it you've eaten a whole 5 pack of tesco bakery cookies every day for the past 6 months and none of your jeans fit anymore and you feel worse than you did when you started. i would blame this partly, but not entirely, on the fact that right at the very moment when my mental health started going down the can in spring 2015 (oh my god. almost ten years of this. fucking hell) and i pulled an all timer of a rejection sensitive dysphoria breakdown that caused a genuine schism that saw half of my sixth form friend group drop me (i don't blame them; i WAS being a massive manipulative downer cunt, to be fair), a little artist by the name of marina and the diamonds dropped a little promo single for her upcoming album called "forget". which is, of course, all about having a big dramatic Starting Over moment. every time i listen to it i picture freshly 18 year old alix in the living room eating a truly unholy number of creme eggs in one sitting and promising herself that this would be the moment everything turned itself around. as my next answer will attest, it quite clearly wasn't. but to be fair, the song still fucking goes

22. name a song that reminds you of one of your best memories

in 2017 i was horrendously depressed, on the verge of repeating a year at uni, had very few irl friends, was staying in bed and binge eating all the time, and the one thing keeping me going was my musical exploits, including performing in a student written musical (we will not discuss any parallels with my life at present). i also, and this is vital, had a FAT crush on one of the creative team, who (like most of my crushes) was a beautiful waiflike dorky twink of a man who i'm fairly certain was actually gay. one time i got invited over with him and several other cast members to watch the princess bride in one of their rooms while predrinking to go out clubbing: i got several diet coke bottles, topped each one up with about four shots of vodka, and got so drunk while watching the movie (it was the first and only time i ever watched the princess bride) that hand on heart, to this day, i could not tell you a single fucking thing that happens post-rodents of an unusual size. i also don't really remember being in the club, but i think that's because it was a largely unremarkable night out (for the reference of my small but vocal cohort of fellow oxford alumni on here, this is because we went to bridge, and i will die on the hill that this is a grossly overrated and deeply boring club). the one thing i do remember is the walk to the club, cutting, on a winding route, through the streets of oxford at 10:30pm in late winter. it was dark, and clear, and a little bit cold, and along the way we stopped at sainsbury's to grab more tinnies that none of us needed so that we could keep predrinking on the way. i was walking in step with the boy i liked, silently beseeching him and the universe as a whole to give me a sign that something was going to happen between us. and somewhere along the line - i don't know if we heard this song blasting from a pub, or somebody else's room in a different college as they prepared for their own night out with their own friends, or if it was just a pure act of spontaneous whimsy - the whole group of us started belting, comically out of tune considering the number of us who actually went on to pursue music and theatre as our actual professional careers, rule the world by take that. and as we hit the chorus, the boy put his arm around my shoulder, and as far as i know it was always a completely platonic gesture, but in that specific moment i felt like maybe, just maybe, there was a glimmer of hope glinting for me in the distance, and if i kept collecting moments like this i might begin to have a life that felt like something real and precious and worthy of actually existing in.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I feel like the reason why people are pointing to JM akgaes is because there are more people in the current process of becoming JM akgaes, because the breaking point for a bunch of superbiased Jimin-biased Jikookers was the Face v. 7 comparison. Felt like this 'turnover' point for KTH akgaes from Tkkrs was 2017-18. The mistreatment rhetoric was everywhere and even today the Burn the Stage documentary is the holy grail of mistreatment for KTHs.

I wanted to ask you, BPP, what do you make of V's reduced streaming numbers in USA? I was surprised. Does this represent Army's true power with JM / JK's numbers being an additional cherry on top (or whole sundae on top) because of GP / casuals / solos ; or is this a sign of the 'split focus' so-called OT7s with a bias towards members who are central to BTS' image in the USA; or have KTHs done permanent damage to goodwill among Army?

I know you're not V biased but if you have a breakdown to offer I would be greatly interested. (Vminimin bias here).

***

I wanted to ask you, BPP, what do you make of V's reduced streaming numbers in USA? I was surprised. Does this represent Army's true power with JM / JK's numbers being an additional cherry on top (or whole sundae on top) because of GP / casuals / solos ; or is this a sign of the 'split focus' so-called OT7s with a bias towards members who are central to BTS' image in the USA; or have KTHs done permanent damage to goodwill among Army?

Ngl, this reminds me of the discourse about the difference in streaming performance between JITB and Indigo, where RM's streaming numbers were more than Hobi's in the US (and globally). Hobi akgaes thought it was weird considering Hobi had just done Lollapalooza and had a huge turnout. Just like back then, people discounted just how much the fandom shows that everyone here really just does what they want, how people's music preferences show up in their streaming habits, and they aren't coerced to stream like mindless orangutans in the fandom. Tae's album, just like Hobi's album, is really good, but it's also not in a genre a lot of people find accessible, very enjoyable, and can withstand streaming incessantly.

Look at the difference in streams between Yet to Come and RUN BTS.

All that aside, my perception is that the maknae-line have many people who bias them from the USA, but far as I can tell, Jimin has the most dedicated fans in the US, UK and Korea + Japan; Jungkook in the US, India, France and Japan; and Taehyung in China, SEA, and to a lesser degree, Japan and the US. I recall I've seen a few surveys here and there a few years ago (before 2019) that showed popularity rankings in various regions, but those rankings are no longer reliable as they've been gamed to hell by akgaes (usually Taehyung solos based on the instances and call-outs I've seen).

So, coupled with the fact not a lot of people care to constantly stream V's sleepy, vibey, but admittedly tasteful album because it's not their taste, it's also possible Taehyung has fewer heavily-biased fans in the US to compulsively stream his album, compared to Jimin or Jungkook. The fact any of the members show up on the charts at all is because of OT7 ARMYs, who have the absolute numbers to place the members high enough to chart even if each ARMY only contributes a handful of streams. Any group of akgaes who have been trying and failing to rechart on the most exclusive charts will tell you the same thing. It's literally a numbers game and ARMYs simply have the numbers.

Those who are biased generally push for the members they bias more, other factors like the genre and listenability of the song influences how the wider fandom responds, and the core of the fandom remains OT7 ARMYs who push each project in any case, and are the reason any of these projects can get those sort of recognitions to begin with.

These aren't comparisons that matter to me for any member, not for my biases and not for the maknae-line, because I do think they're unhelpful, generally very reductive, and only serve the purpose of inflating the egos of various akgaes who weaponize this data to show other members in the group are less deserving of their accomplishments and/or any support those members receive.

It's not like Tae's doing bad either lol.

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Various artists - Saturday Night Fever

Do you know what your threshold for camp is? If you can make it to the end of this album then it's higher than most people's. From the absolutely iconic Bee Gees tunes to the inspired instrumentals to the absolutely unhinged disco covers of classical music this album is a mood and a half. Some of the tracks like The Trammps' Disco Inferno, KC & the Sunshine Band's Boogie Shoes, or anything by the Bee Gees are certified classics. Other aren't as well known but should be. The idea of making a disco version of Mussorgsky's Night On Bald Mountain is absolutely insane, the fact that it works is sincerely confusing to me. I love this stuff so much, it's so much more inspired and fun than you would think. Then again I'm a huge disco fan so I'm not an unbiased source. Like I said you need to be able to tolerate a lot of camp, but if you bask in random aesthetics like I do then you'll be right at home.

Pulp - Different Class

Luscious britpop with aspirations of art rock. That's what pulp brings to the table with Different Class. Jarvis Cocker manages to bring class consciousness and sexuality together and deliver with the deadpan energy of someone who is just narrating their everyday life. Different Class is just full of fantastic lines. Obviously the sort of hit Common People is just loaded with digs at bourgeois poverty tourists, Pencil Skirt has the exquisite line "But I've kissed your mother twice / And now I'm working on your dad" and I Spy has "The crowd gasp at Cocker's masterful control of the bicycle / Skillfully avoiding the dog turd outside the corner shop." Fantastic stuff, if I could write lines like that I would be famous.

Crosby, Stills & Nash - s/t

I think it's a little less fully realized and dynamic than their follow up with Neil Young, but the debut by supergroup Crosby, Stills & Nash is still quite delightful. There's an angelic majesty to the way they compose harmonies from the bombastic Suite: Judy Blue Eyes to the pastoral Guinnevere. It's an essential piece of late 60s hippie folk camp.

Pearl Jam - Ten

Eddie Vedder had a voice that belonged in a hair metal band and he used it to make the mopiest music imaginable. Ten cemented the grunge sound as something beyond a miniscule punk movement pushing it into the mainstream. It also pushed the sound towards a more classic rock / hard rock sound that would become a major staple of later bands like Soundgarden, Alive In Chains, and Stone Temple Pilots. The album is moody and heavy, dealing with themes of alienation, abuse, homelessness, suicide, it's bleak stuff. But it put a voice to the darkest human feelings with a sincerity that definitely resonated with people.

The Police - Synchronicity

A pop rock masterpiece. Sting's anxiously urgent delivery and cryptic lyricism blend with the manic and complex percussion of Stewart Copeland. It The Police's finest album. Most people know classic stalker song Every Breath You Take but there are so many standouts from the chaotic arpeggios of the two title tracks to the psychotic breakdown that is Mother or the incredible drumming on Murder By Numbers. It's the softest of all their albums, but the most artistically concise as well.

Erykah Badu - Mama's Gun

The rich depth, both musical and emotional, that can be felt on this album is enough to drown in. Erykah Badu perfects the confessional song airing every emotion, every grievance, every guilty thought into an hour plus epic. As a member of the Soulquarians she also had access to an all star cast of musicians and producers including J Dilla and Questlove. The beats have subtle elements of funk with strong jazzy overtones, jazzier than her neo soul contemporaries for sure. Mama's Gun probably runs a little long at an hour and ten minutes, but the long songs are worth it. This album is the blueprint for things I like about neo soul and honestly even the albums I like better refer so heavily to it that Mama's Gun ought to be remembered as one of the greatest achievements in the genre.

[characteroulette]

for the ask game!! 1, 4, 12, 15, 23, 26, 40, 42, 49. If I may be so bold as to inquire

lmaooo omfg thanks for the many XD using a cut after the first one

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

ooohh tbh I think I would go with The Wolf of the Bailey for this one. I still love it a whole lot, major spoilers for Great Ace Attorney though.

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

Okay I have to mention Pray for the Wicked on this one because every single song chapter, I did my best to weave in the vibe of that song and even specific lyrics in there. I was full on POSSESSED by this album for this fic and I think I did a pretty good job with it!!

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

Okay this is gonna be weird but I was not a big fan of pwp for a long time haha. It just fell out of favour for me a while ago, but I've definitely come around on it. I want my blorbos to fuck lmao

15. What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written?

by sheer number, you'd probably think RGB Hisui AU lmao. But I gotta shoutout Devoted Blade in particular for getting my sister to read something of my Snufpollo breakdown. Honestly AU are my bread and butter I like many of them (my fave will probs always be a tie between I Caught Myself's soulmate universe and The Bear and the Magpie's dark Layton universe.)

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

Hmm. Hard to say. I guess Zombie Apocalypse AU is something I have tried to make myself write so many times but never made it past the drafting phase. (One day, Mole and Greg... One day...)

26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?

Either or!! I have done both!! XD both have their pros and cons! Although only dialogue for me is more ukagaka work by this point haha

40. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

I reread fics sometimes yeah. Shoutout to Honeysuckle by OurLittleSecretOkay and Vacation All I Ever Wanted by JJsADragon in particular for being fics I have downloaded on my phone so I can read them haha

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

I have been blessed with some really good ones yes ;w; ;;;; most of them on my Curses in Names are really good and fill me with happiness ;w; ;;;;;

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

Oh oof. Let me root around in my wips since the thing I am actively working on right now is an ukagaka, not a fic...

Ah here. The next bit of my very self-indulgent Snufpollo fic which made me put in this silly detail in an unrelated fic (Jumbled Pieces) --

He pulled Snufkin up and into his lap, offering his companionship as the best balm against this. Snufkin latched onto him pretty immediately, settling right against him and accepting his comfort.

"How were your travels? Wanna talk about it?" Apollo asked, wrapping his arms around his friend.

Snufkin stayed cuddled up against him a minute, breathing evenly and soft. Right as Apollo figured he wasn't going to say anything, he pulled back suddenly and pulled his backpack over to dig through it. "I worked a fair amount more than usual."

He retrieved a wad of cash and presented it to Apollo, who stared at it blankly in bewilderment. "Huh? What, why?"

"It's actually part of how I figured it out." Snufkin laughed, a bit bitter and mostly amused. He set the cash to the side and dug out another two stacks, placing them with the other. "I was determined to provide for you. To help you with your nest, or something along those lines."

Apollo had to ask, "Do you just work purely for cash?"

"Easier to stay off the books that way." Snufkin said in an easy reply.

Silly detail for my silly guys. XD

[lolliepops-rox]

3:A song that reminds you of summertime 6:A song that makes you want to dance 2:A song you like with a number in the title 21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the title 18:A song from the year that you were born

Queensland - Evil Eddie

I almost picked 'In the Summertime' by Thristy Merc off the same playlist (it's my APH Australia playlist)

Hard Times - Paramore

This is probs like my third favourite album of all time (I can't be bothered to bring up my list) and my number oner 1 breakdown album.

1985 - Bowling for Soup 15 reading homestuck on the internet - atlas 24k Magic - Bruno Mars House 1985 Built Like A Ship - Driftless Pony Club 18+ - Scene Queen

HAHA. YOUVE FALLEN INTO MY TRAP. Last time I did this question I said I'd also have 5 more to add (and I still had to spend time whittling down which I wanted to use)

1985: loved this song as a kid, and it's PEAK Daryl Willson song 15 reading homestuck: no notes need, what it's says on the tin 24k Magic: I've been on a MASSIVE Bruno kick, beautiful man w/ funky music, he made it into my Hetalia fic House 1985: Firstly, does anyone know why musicians are obsessed with 1985. Secondly, this will always be The My Music show, to me. 18+: This has made it onto the playlist for my most recent DnD character. And well. I've been looping for playlist so bad rn (I am listening to it rn)

Sister Psychic - Smash Mouth

Thank u to the playlist that had hits for 2001 on it. This question is actually is a difficult one. ANYWAYS. I fucking love this song so much. Probs my favourite Smash Mouth song. It's just so peak my best friend in our SBURB au. Sister Psychic I love you 5eva.

[uh-velkommen]

Elements by Siamese Album Thoughts

(taken from Reddit but I left out the last line on the Reddit post bc I live in fear of hurting their feelings lol)

I just have thoughts about this album cycle seeing as it's the first album release where I've been a fan long enough to experience every song as they were released. With that being said, my biggest gripe is that Siamese released nearly every song as a single before releasing the album as a whole and because of that, it lost some of it's excitement for me. I listened to every single and eagerly awaited the full album release only to learn that there were like 2 additional songs I haven't already heard. Also, I like to listen to new albums from beginning to end in one sitting but since I had already heard all the other singles a billion times, sitting through all of them again just to get to the songs I hadn't heard yet felt like a chore.

So I was wondering, is it common/normal for Siamese to drop the whole album single by single? Have they done this with previous albums? I understand how it could be beneficial, like as a semi-small band it increases the chances of being discovered by new fans. So this approach has its pros and cons.

As for the songs; Shape of Water is a strong opener and if I remember correctly, it was the first single released. I think it did a good job of setting my expectations for this album. I was almost disappointed hearing the first chorus of Through My Head because it's a pretty standard trap beat but now, ironically, it manages to be the song always stuck in my head. I had a love/hate relationship with On Fire at first because it was almost too experimental. Don't get me wrong, I love strange and/or unique blends of genres but somehow this one didn't feel like Siamese. In the context of the whole album, I get it now and can definitely feel the "Siamese" present. I liked Predator upon its first listen, it's catchy and I have nothing more to add lol. The God Is A Woman cover is a bit funny because I have two other artists I really like who have also covered this song and have interpretated it in different ways. The Siamese version isn't bad by any means but it doesn't add anything more to the song. Putting it next to their Party Monster cover, I think the biggest issue is that I hadn't heard the original Party Monster enough times to realize it was a cover. Meanwhile, I've heard God Is A Woman a million times from a million other artists. Not to mention flipping pronouns in covers always seems to bother me. Finally, Utopia is the song I had to wait for the full album to hear and I liked it a lot. I think it really stood out because it sounds familiar. It has this like 2015 post-hardcore Hands Like Houses type of sound to it which I've been missing in my life lately. However, I need it to be longer 😅 and I think it should've been the last song on the album (either before or after This Is Not A Song, doesn't matter).

This album simultaneously manages to be heavier but also less Rock-ish. It's confusing because the breakdowns and unclean vocals are more present but the overall tone from the singing and lyricism feels calmer. I think I'm giving the Home to Elements evolution the same treatment that I gave to the Shameless to Super Human evolution, where the first album is like the golden child and the second album is like the quiet middle child who's just as good but doesn't receive the same praise because the first child had already done all of it under the spotlight.

If I had to give it a number out of ten I was rate it 7/10. It's good but not very strong or memorable.

[hiraya-sa-dilim]

thursday morning in the philippines after the monday presedential elections. i've been sick, literally physically sick, since tuesday from the results. i was having breakdowns in the middle of work then i'd kept going through nightly overtime because thinking of the future to the point of spiralling was worse.

i opened spotify first thing in the morning just in case. music did not comfort me as usual and i was beginning to worry i had lost something that made it work before forever... the notification was there. i thought it was funny. i became a fan too late, during the pandemic, and was sure i'd never experience a single new release. then again i was also sure we wouldn't lose our damn democracy.

i remember being spread eagle with a stuffed nose. numb and fever-sweaty with a sour stomach. and so he gets to die a saint but she will always be a whore! didn't he? didn't she?! i looped foundations four times the first time, and i cried all throughout. at some point, i couldn't take that i wasn't holding on to anything, so i hugged my pillow and pretended it was someone, anyone at all...

somebody who had stood upon the hill the same way i was rotting in bed. somebody who had watched the towers fall just i watched the numbers change on tv. i remember staring at the album cover thinking that's what i look like right now, void and cobweb goo. the pillow i squeezed, the voices howling in my ears, he looked like that too. yes (like you) it comforts me much more to lay in the foundations of decay--

but then the drums kick in. there's nothing you could do about that, no matter how many times you listen. get up, coward! it depressed me, those drumbeats, that ending. it's horrible enough having to wake up, but doing something, anything at all, with the fact that you're still here...?

i got hungry enough to pause the song, but not enough that i couldn't sleep it off. i don't know. i don't know. against change (you can wander through ghe ruins). we are plagued (but the poison is the cure).

i guess i was just glad i didn't feel as lonely anymore, coming down to breakfast.

remember when they dropped foundations on a random thursday evening

[fleshsigil]

census designated - review

//content warning: discussion of depression/suicide/self-harm/dysphoria

census designated is in my top 3 albums of all time. i would give it a 10/10, but i think that rating music with numbers is stupid.

census designated is the sophomore album of jane remover, an artist who had originally broken into the music scene in 2021 with the seminal hyperpop EP, teen week. she then proceeded to release frailty later that year, a face-melting and depressing emo/hyperpop/edm fusion, which is another one of my favorite albums of all time.

needless to say, census designated is a pretty large departure from her source material, but one of the most positive changes i've seen in an artist's material ever. it trades in frailty's twinkly, edm-inspired vibe for a more acoustic and shoegazey style, while still retaining all of the things that made jane's music amazing in the first place. it features crackling, wailing walls of noise and basslines interlaced with screams and similar digital glitching effects to frailty; the hip-hop style drums used in frailty are swapped out for more acoustic, natural-sounding drums and the synths are much more warm and organic, fitting perfectly into the atmosphere of the rest of the album.

the tracks on census designated are on the longer side, ranging from 4 and a half minutes to almost 9. normally, seeing lots of long tracks on an album worries me as sometimes it can result in a lack of substance; this was most certainly not the case for this album. the long playtime makes room for bleaker, quieter moments building up into ear-splitting, astronomically cathartic breakdowns and climaxes. census designated effortlessly weaves together bedroom pop, shoegaze, and harsh noise into a varied and oppressive but beautifully blended soundscape for the entirety of the album. walls of warm synths and glitchy audio makes way for droning, feedback-riddled guitar melodies and minimal basslines.

the way that this album is able to convey the bitterness, desperation, anger, and hopelessness that are present in mental illness and dysphoria is something that i have seen in few other pieces of media. akin to uboa's the origin of my depression and giles corey's self-titled, census designated paints a visceral and vivid picture of depression, suicidal ideation, and struggling with one's identity, through both its lyrical content and sound. as someone who personally has struggled and is struggling with these things, this album has been unbelievably cathartic for me. all of the desperation and anger that jane funneled into this album is made into this palpable, dreamily vivid experience. a great example of this is the first ~20 seconds of video, a deafening wall of guitar, screams, frantic drums, and synths. during moments like this, jane also used a noisy sort of glitching effect to convey this complete collapse, this almost inability for the music to even stay within its bounds, breaking down into a messy, roiling sea of noise; a feeling that a lot of people who struggle with mental illness can relate to. this is then followed up with a bleak and soulful buildup until the eventual climax towards the end. despite this being a common song structure and theme throughout the album, it's re-engineered and done in a different way in each song, fully different from all the others; each song also discusses different topics, such as toxic relationships, going unnoticed in life, self-harm, hopelessness, the music industry, among other things. the lyrical content is vague enough for the listener to project their experiences onto it, but still personal enough for them to relate to jane's own experiences. there's this dark twinge of body-horror/cannibalism-themed metaphors for intimacy/sex/attraction ("biting chunks out of my face", "arm candy falling into his lap / take a bite") which jane herself said was inspired by horror movies that she had been watching at the time. anyone who has ever been in love, in a shitty relationship, or been ignored by the people around them will find the lyrics immediately relatable and impactful, although it's still enjoyable regardless.

the fact that jane remover was able to transition from terminally- online, attention-deficit digicore and hyperpop (which i still love, don't get me wrong) to one of the best shoegaze/noise rock projects i've heard in years is amazing and really shows her unfettered creativity, musical ability, and capacity to blend together multiple genres into a beautiful, cohesive project.

overall, i highly recommend that anyone who enjoys this style of music gives this album a listen. in my opinion, it's a masterpiece, and if you give it a try, you might think so too.

LINKS TO ALBUM ON BANDCAMP AND SPOTIFY BELOW

(i post music reviews sometimes, if you want more of that kind of thing, you should follow me)

[listieshadows]

Listie babbles about her CD haul (2024/01/14)

Yesterday I walked into my local Sunrise Records with the intention of purchasing The Beatles' Yellow Submarine Songtrack to complete my collection of Beatles albums featured on a picture I've had of their discography that's been hanging on my wall for years. However, unfortunately, it wasn't there, and in a fit of "Well, since I'm here," I impulse purchased a bunch of other albums. And since I wanna talk about music more, hey, I'm gonna take a sec to talk about them! I hope nobody who sees this on their timeline minds the self-indulgence.

Green Day – Warning (2000)

One of my top five favorite Green Day albums. Probably even top three. I really liked this brief folk punk turn for the band, and tunes like "Misery", "Macy's Day Parade", "Waiting", "Church On Sunday", "Minority"... Aw, it's just great stuff.

I've been meaning to get more Green Day stuff, anyway. For years the only albums of theirs I've had are American Idiot and Revolution Radio, and I'd like to have an unbroken line of their discography from Kerplunk to 21st Century Breakdown. After that, with stuff like the "Trilogy" and Father Of All... Eh, I'll pass. And we'll see about their new album when that comes out. For now, I'll say that I did also consider picking up Dookie while I was there, but all they had was the anniversary box, and I didn't wanna add an additional $92 onto my purchase. But speaking of anniversary editions being my only option...

Elton John – Honky Châtaeu (50th Anniversary Edition) (2023)

This is currently my second favorite Elton John album, behind Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. I mean, come on, side one is a killer. Aside from having "Honky Cat" and "Rocket Man", it's got "Mellow" and "Susie (Dramas)"... Come on! Of course side two is great as well—"Amy", "Hercules", all that—but "Mona Lisas And Mad Hatters" has just never done it for me, honestly? Plus, sometimes I forget what "Slave" sounds like, so there's that, too.

Now, if I could've avoided it, I wouldn't have paid $32 to own the two disc anniversary edition. But that was the only version they had there, an', y'know, that just sucks a little sometimes, right? Like, you just want the darn album and not all of the extra demos and live recordings they're charging you more for, but that's your only option unless you wanna go trawling around Discogs or eBay for a more standard edition. And if I didn't love physically browsing so much...! Although that's probably what I'm gonna hafta put up with anyway if I wanna get Yellow Submarine Songtrack, so...

Iron Maiden – Powerslave (1984) and No Prayer For The Dying (1990)

I'm pairing these two together for a specific reason, and I'll get to that in a second, but first lemme get my opinions out of the way. Powerslave might be my favorite Iron Maiden album—at the very least it's in solid competition with The Number Of The Beast. I find there's hardly a moment wasted on it, and of course the big hits are all fantastic: "Aces High", "2 Minutes To Midnight", "Powerslave" and the incredible "Rime Of The Ancient Mariner". In terms of Maiden's "epic songs," I like "Empire Of The Clouds" better, but "Rime Of The Ancient Mariner" still holds a very high second place.

No Prayer, meanwhile, is an album I only first heard last year, and I can sort of tell why people don't like it so much. After the innovations of Somewhere In Time and Seventh Son, it's a big step back; and even for fans who preferred the earlier sound to the synths, the songs just aren't as tight as Killers or Number or any of them. Fear Of The Dark later on was an improvement, but only so much because of its bloated track list. Still, I've listened to the From Fear To Eternity compilation enough times that I have a spot for "Tailgunner" and "Holy Smoke", plus I think "Mother Russia" is kind of neat as well.

But why did I get both of them? You might not be wondering that up until I tell you that I've already owned a copy of Powerslave for years. In fact, it was the second or third Iron Maiden album I'd ever bought. So what's, uh, the deal, then? To put it in short, there was a box set released in 1998 called Eddie's Head which had their first twelve live and studio albums, from their eponymous debut all the way up to Live At Donington. At some point they were all released individually, and those were the copies I was collecting. After all, their spines formed a picture of Eddie. I had to have a full collection!

But I had one stipulation in mind: I knew that No Prayer was considered the worst Dickinson album, so I wanted to get that one last. That meant if I wanted to finish my collection, I had to find a copy of Live At Donington. Though no matter how many times I looked at HMV or Sunrise, I could never find it. It was only years later when I finally checked Discogs and saw how much a copy was going for these days that I realized, "Oh, they're not selling this at chain stores anymore." And in fact, they're not selling any album from this release anymore. They've all been replaced by the 2015 remaster, so I couldn't even get an Eddie's Head version of No Prayer even if I wanted to.

So I just gave up! I picked up the 2015 remaster of No Prayer so I could finally have an unbroken studio run from their debut to The X Factor, and I got Powerslave alongside so it wouldn't look stupid sitting all by itself. Will I ever get the rest of them? I mean, if that's the only option for the Iron Maiden albums I'm still missing, sure, I guess. I like their spines, too, so I'm getting that out of this whole ordeal at least.

(And in looking up a picture of the Eddie's Head spines to link to, it seems like I was also missing A Real Live Dead One as well? So... Oops! Guess that's two albums I would've had to get!)

Prince – Come (1994)

The first time I heard this album, it was because of a podcast I'm making my way through: Jukebox Zeroes. The whole concept of the podcast is that it sees the two hosts plus guests reacting to and reviewing what's considered the worst albums from famous artists, like Metallica's St. Anger or Madonna's American Life, for example. Come was the album they'd selected to cover Prince, though by the end of the episode they admitted that they should've picked, like, Rave Un2 The Year 2000, 'cuz Come really isn't Prince's worst, or even a bad album. Frankly, it's rather something that Prince considered this "lesser material" that he threw at Warner Bros. just to get out of his contract with them.

I think they largely singled "Dark" as their favorite song on the album, but for me, it's "Letitgo". I absolutely love that synth melody that Prince sings along to for the chorus. The pre-chorus is really fun, too, I think. For, like, a month or two afterwards it was in my frequent rotation, usually played alongside Angela Aki's cover of "Still Fighting It" for some reason.

Ultimately, I prefer the album he put more attention into and wanted to have released at the same time, The Gold Experience (which I've had for months longer), but I don't think Come should be skipped. I mean, at the end of the day, it's still a Prince album. It's rare he makes bad music, and Come doesn't fall into that. Well, maybe "Solo", but your mileage will vary, of course.

And as a little divergence, can I just say that, before I got Come, it was really funny that I had the Love Symbol album and The Gold Experience sitting right next to each other on my shelf? Jus', one where Prince used the symbol as an album title, and then one where he used it as his name. It's great.

[brn1029]

On this date in the important music of Rock and roll….

August 11th

2022 - David Bowie

David Bowie was named Britain's most influential artist of the past 50 years in the Sky Arts list for his ability to transcend music, film and fashion. Other musicians in the list included the Spice Girls, Sir Elton John, Stormzy and Boy George.

1984 - Ray Parker Jr

Ray Parker JR. started a three week run at No.1 on the US singles chart with the theme from the film 'Ghostbusters'. Parker who had been a session guitarist for Stevie Wonder and Marvin Gaye was accused of plagiarizing the melody from Huey Lewis and the News song 'I Want a New Drug', resulting in Lewis suing Parker, the pair settled out of court in 1985.

1979 - Led Zeppelin

Led Zeppelin played their last ever UK show when they appeared at Knebworth House, England. The set list included: The Song Remains The Same, Celebration Day, Black Dog, Nobody's Fault But Mine, Over The Hills And Far Away, Misty Mountain Hop, Since I've Been Loving You, No Quarter, Hot Dog, The Rain Song, White Summer/Black Mountainside, Kashmir, Trampled Under Foot, Sick Again, Achilles' Last Stand, In The Evening, Stairway To Heaven Rock And Roll, Whole Lotta Love and Communication Breakdown.

1966 - John Lennon

At a press conference held at The Astor Towers Hotel in Chicago, John Lennon apologised for his remarks that The Beatles were ‘more popular than Jesus'. Lennon told reporters "Look, I wasn’t saying The Beatles are better than God or Jesus, I said ‘Beatles’ because it’s easy for me to talk about The Beatles. I could have said ‘TV’ or ‘Cinema’, ‘Motorcars’ or anything popular and would have got away with it’’.

1964 - The Beatles

The Beatles started recording their fourth album ('Beatles For Sale', not yet titled), at EMI studios in London, England.

1964 - The High Numbers

The High Numbers, (later to become The Who), played at The Railway Hotel in Harrow, England. Just before the band were due on stage, Roger Daltry's father-in law came into the venue and dragged the singer outside and hit him. The band started their set and Daltry appeared back on stage after the fight.

1962 - Neil Sedaka

Neil Sedaka started a two week run at No.1 on the US singles chart with 'Breaking Up Is Hard To Do', his first US No.1 as an artist. It reached No.7 on the UK chart.

1956 - Elvis Presley

Elvis Presley's double sided hit 'Don't Be Cruel / Hound Dog was released. The single went to No.1 on the US chart, where it stayed for 11 weeks - a record that would not be broken until 1992's Boyz II Men hit 'End of the Road'.