#the transition will probably take a while to fully settle but lmao that's the process baybeeeeee

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Anyway, personally, I have always thought that the best remedy for getting dumped is to go on another date with someone you're not emotionally invested in yet [this is probably the polyamory and borderline talking but stick with me I swear it makes sense for at least some of us]

So when you CARE about a person and the relationship dynamic shifts, now you're in mourning right because you started to imagine them in different places in your life and it's emotionally painful to uproot those. But like. If you temper that pain with a person you KNOW that you aren't emotionally invested in (yet) it's a lot easier to challenge the weird thoughts a post-break up funk puts in your head.

Do I feel like a freak of nature who will always be alone because that's reasonable or because Jean-Paul over there told me he's got too much going on right now to keep going out with me? When I'm crying alone in my room, the answer is way less helpful! When I'm on a date with Steve From Accounting Who's Fun But Not My Type it's a LOT easier to remember that lots of different kinds of people are attracted to me, and my boundaries/choices in interaction with others can have a lot to do with how I experience them. See, Steve From Accounting can say and do a lot of things that just Do Not Bother Me, because. Well, why should they? And the reminder that I'm capable of setting down frustration or hurt, the reminder that I can mark lines with people on a case by case basis that I don't want them to cross, and it can be different for different people and that can be a GOOD thing, all that stuff makes it easier the next time I'm alone and feeling shitty to say "hey, these are sensations in my body that I deserve to tend to, but they are not Truth Coming Out Of Her Well To Shame Me Specifically and I can chill about it."

Honestly it's also really validating to remember that there are MANY kinds of affection and connection from others in the world. The loss of affection/connection that often comes with a break up can rattle me, and it's helpful to have the PHYSICAL IN MY BODY reminder that this will pass as I reorient within the other systems of affection and care I participate in. A break up hurts less if you're not also wondering where you'll get your needs met in the meantime.

Anyway it's day two of post-"let's be friends" stabilization and the playlist evolves with me so today's song is Perfect with Sam Smith and Jessie Reyez