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velvetjune · 7 months

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Jesse would probably have the same reaction to Saga’s profiling as Tor or Odin, being able to directly communicate, which would lead to the best situation of both of them just staring into space while they’re silently and psychically communicating at random times

#I’m still on the hypothetical situation of Jesse and casey joining the fbc with the recommendation of kiran and ahti after Alan wake 2 #saga: [starts profiling]#Jesse: [is unfazed because it’s similar to the hotline]#saga: [tells pun] :)#Jesse: [also tells pun] :)#casey watching them silently stare at nothing for a few minutes: :)#alan wake 2 #control 2019 #saga would be the PERFECT field agent working alongside kiran and casey!!#she probably even wouldn’t have to move #tw for drinking #but ive had some drinks so might delete this in the morning if it seems incoherent #but this is just an extension of my other post 😤 I believe it can happen 😤#on a similar note will control 2 have Jesse be the main playable character?#it’d be hard to make her be SO powerful from the very start of the game #so maybe it would have someone else be the playable character? since Jesse is almost undefeatable now? it’s complicated #either way I want more saga and casey working together.. I’ll genuinely be so sad if Alan wake 2 was the most they’d have focus in #saga anderson #jesse faden #also would control 2 take place before or after Alan wake 2 ?#if it’s before there will definitely not be saga joining the 😭#*the fbc

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padawansuggest · 9 months

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Like the whole 'living at home in your 20s means you don't gotta do anything' trend needs to die. Sometimes I go into dads room with the ENTIRE PURPOSE of asking dad if I can make him something for dinner lol. Some of you just have zero want to take care of family. Couldn't be me, im making him a grilled cheese just cause he asked if and said he doesn't feel well lol

#I’m not saying this as a child who thinks they HAVE to take care of fam #but man I love my dad yeah I’ll make him food for no reason other than move #than love wtf you on that you can’t help cool di #cook dinner #this ain’t even about not loving your fam #some of you just take advantage of them to an unhealthy degree and both sides make jokes over it #like maybe it’s just me and fam casue our love language is gifts and as #acts if service #but nothing makes me happier than to see his happy grin and just pleased love when I make him dinner just for him #we’re both picky eaters too #sometimes our safe foods don’t #match. but we’ll still try and make something appropriate for the other if not amazing

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leviiackrman · 2 months

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I am fighting for my life to be mentally stable and it’s not working

#personal*#jess talks #trigger warning cus I’m feeling really low and might vent #but genuinely I want to give up #I don’t want to exist #I feel like a burden and a scrounger #I realised yesterday that everything I have is because of someone else #I haven’t earnt anything for myself or done anything with my life #I complain that I can’t support myself #yet I make no effort to fix that #im scared of my insecurity to do anything #I’m scared I’m not good enough #I’m scared to exist in my own home #it doesn’t feel like my home #I haven’t felt ‘at home’ since before uni #I’ve moved house 6 times in the past 7 years #I never feel secure or safe #and I feel responsible #I wish I could just go get a good paying job and support myself and my family #all I want is my independence back like I had at uni #but even at uni I was living off of a loan I’ll never be able to pay off #my whole existence is a waste #I’m contemplating giving up on my art and business because it’s getting me no where #I might as well give up entirely #I can’t see any positive resolutions in sight and I feel so helpless #but all I’m doing is feeling sorry for myself #my parents are sm worse off than I am currently yet I’m the one having panic attacks and terrified to leave my room??#I’m gonna be 26 still living with my parents achieving nothing for myself #with no relationship experience and not an inclining of self respect #grow up Jess

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alluralater · 4 months

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hey everyone, i won’t be as active for a while. got home last night super late after being on the road for 20 some odd hours. dealing with some family things and as an older sister, my priority of taking care of my siblings comes first before anything else. being on here is amazing for me but i don’t think i’ll have much time for it. reminder to please treat those in your life who are battling addiction with patience and care. i lost my older brother (sweetest person i’ve ever known and he remained that way up until his last night) to suicide and alcoholism, trauma and ptsd, depression and his feelings of hopelessness. talk with the people you care about. another of my siblings is dealing with the same and i refuse to let it escalate to such a terrifying end twice in less than a fucking year. remind the people you care about that there are beautiful things to live for. show them kindness and love. there is all kinds of misinformation out there but know this, you can make a difference for someone. don’t let them suffer in silence.

#if you have me on snap then you saw the super gorgeous views and such on my way to idaho but what you did not see was me picking #up my little sister. propping her body up with pillows in a hotel room to make sure she didn’t aspirate on her own vomit in her sleep.#pouring out her water bottle of white claw and talking to her about drug use.#i never make her feel as though she has disappointed me or that she should feel ashamed. shame helps nothing. love helps everything.#i’m going to get her back into treatment soon- i just need her to know she has a home when she’s out. detoxing here first and being #positively reinforced for every single step of the process is so fucking important. it was terrifying to learn that if i had not gone to ge #her when i did that she probably would have died there in the next few weeks.#my fear of death for her is not what guides me though and there’s a huge difference between that and doing something out of love. being #there in dire moments is important yes- but being there through the mundanity of recovery is JUST as vital. it’s a process and it’s hard.#she’s moving in with me for awhile so i can help her through this sensitive time in her recovery.#she’s trying so hard and being recognized for that has literally been making her sob. knowing she has people who truly care for her is #everything. now that my stepdad is away from her like across the country i can actually finally help her. she’s starting to understand and #without me saying anything- she is starting to see what he’s done to her and our family. she needs love and support and stability. she need #reasons to live. sorry im kinda rambling a lot in these tags but i just… i can’t lose another one. the love i carry for my siblings is #unlike any other. i’ve treated them like my children since i was a child and those are my own issues but our mother is gone now too so it i #up to me.#losing my brother last september and my mom the year before that- grief has just been back to back.#in the hotel room i couldn’t sleep. she fell asleep so quickly and all i could do was watch her and think about all of the things i want to #do to make her feel like her life has value and worth enough to stay here and not go. my little sister is forever four years old in my mind #yes she’s an adult of 23 but she is a baby to me. she’s so young and she has so much ahead of her. she deserves a happy and fulfilled life.#our lives have been… very hard. 4 out of 5 of us are still standing and i plan on keeping it that way.#this is not the pain olympics or whatever but listen- if i put an adult in any of the situations we were in as children they would not #survive. we only did because there was no other choice. now there are escapes and we are old enough to try them all- every single one of us #has searched for some escape. it spirals and escalates and it doesn’t help but it is an escape. giving her love and affection and getting #her the help she needs and doing it the RIGHT way- it lessens the need for escape. there is nothing wrong with being an addict.#addiction ends one of two ways. life or death. unfortunately there is no in between. she’s going to feel everything- bad and good. i want #her to know there is so much good. that she is good. every move i make right now matters so i don’t think i’ll have time for tumblr or #much socializing.#just a heads up yk. thank you for your patience in advance <3

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frayed-symphony · 5 months

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Realising I may have depression and not just a lot of days where I feel bad in a row

#I’m under nda so I can’t talk about work #but it’s not been good since the layoffs #even before tbh #I feel small and like nothing I do matters #i guess the cherry on top I saw a fox kill a squirrel today #and couldn’t do anything to stop it #clinging to tales but most people have moved on #i’ll probably delete this later #I’m just having a really bad day #i miss my coworkers

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lulu2992 · 9 months

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Where are they? What are they drinking? What is she saying? Why is he smiling? Is this a “No Cult AU”? If it is, why did I bother drawing all of John’s tattoos anyway?

I don’t know... I visualized this scene, drew it almost immediately, and it made me happy.

It still does :)

And I did it! One year later, I’m done posting all the “old” drawings I said I would post! :D

#I have more old(er) drawings to be honest #I’ll see if I ever feel like posting at least some of them one day #but first... the newer ones!#john seed x deputy #taylor rook #my deputy #is she even a deputy here? no idea #john seed #I probably drew his tattoos because to me john isn’t really john without them #my art #fan art #traditional art #digital coloring #far cry 5 #story: 'I don’t know I just felt like drawing this'#drawn in january 2023 #I tried something new for this one #first I painted the whole thing black #then I erased john’s shirt because I knew I wanted it to be the lightest part #then I duplicated that layer and erased their skin because I knew it was going to be the second lightest part #then I continued to move from lightest to darkest until there was nothing left to erase #I set the opacity of all the layers #made some adjustments #added shadows and highlights #finally I painted some blue and pink spots and played with the settings until I was happy with the result :)#also I really how their hands look here!

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chilipepperconverse · 2 months

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#i cant fucking take it anymore #every week its the same thing #i apply to like 18 jobs and wait. i write 18 different cover letters and wait #and its been like this for two fucking years #and i cant fucking stand it i hate this #i have no purpose no prospects no joy #i feel fucking useless!!!!!#and i never have energy and i feel like im trapped and i want nothing more than to escape #but im not sure i could survive anything other than this wasting away #i told myself id move out in 2023. then this year #i even said if i havent moved out by my 25th birthday id kill myself #bc ive basically failed. game over. thats it.#and the closer that gets the less it looks like i’ll have moved out #i just feel so hopeless #shut up chili

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willowfey · 1 year

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starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept #i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them #if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens #i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it #i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut #it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair #my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking #if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back #if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off #ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal #but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends #i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens #and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too #since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out #i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now #now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that #i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly.#if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill #in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it #my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes #sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know???#but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested #i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore #i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world

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arcanadreams · 3 months

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feel like such a fake fan for STILL not having played chapter 8 of a6 but like…adult life happens LOL

#chapter 8 came out like….end of april? i moved mid may so #life has been a lot haha but nothing bad!! just busy #i have three weeks off in a few days tho so i’ll def play it then…first i gotta replay everything up to that point #otherwise i wont remember wtf is happening in the plot LOL #posts #andromeda six

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neontokyoo · 28 days

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Seriously considering turning reblogs off on my posts. Literally the amount of shit y’all give me is ridiculous. Someone literally called me out for using AI to write ONE POST and didn’t even even bother to read anything else besides me calling myself out for it. AI SUCKS BUT I ALREADY EXPLAINED THE SITUATION SO THERE’S NO REASON TO CALL ME OUT LIKE THAT WHEN I LITERALLY JUST TOLD YOU WHAT HAPPENED LIKE I ALREADY CALLED MYSELF OUT, LEAVE IT ALONE

I’m not perfect, but good lord, stop reblogging posts if all you’re doing is spreading hate. That’s all I’m asking. And it’s not just for me, it’s for other creators, too. We’re not here for people to call us out on our mistakes or tell everyone our content sucks.

I’m not sure if these people are intentionally trying to be rude, but please be mindful that artists, writers, and other creators really don’t give a shit about what you think. We’re here to share our creations with you, but we’re not gaining anything from it. So please just be careful with what you post/say about others. We’re all human, nobody’s perfect. No matter what that person did, they don’t deserve the hate. And neither does the person who reposted.

I’m not calling anyone out. I didn’t say who it was for a reason. I’m not here to cause trouble or spread any hate or negativity, I just wanted to spread awareness. Please don’t look for the person, please don’t give them any trouble, just be respectful and think before reblogging someone’s post. Is it really worth bringing other people down because of a tiny mistake that they made?

It’s fucking ridiculous. Just don’t say anything about it if you have nothing good to say. Act like a fucking adult, and learn about online etiquette, that’s all I’m asking.

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corpsentry · 2 months

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black eyes

#my stuff #my writing #mein fucking goat i cannot keep having dreams about my ex and yet it is happening still #this is one of the less remarkable ones even. i’ve had two in the past month where i try desperately to give them a flatscreen tv #and one of those big ones too. like 40 inches across. i don’t own a flatscreen tv #i’ll admit it being in singapore is hitting me like a brick to the balls and i am grievously unwell #it’s like i come back and all the work i put in to deal with my anxiety and depression gets high in the woods and dies #but that’s not the point. the point is devoid of friends (in fucking america) and a hyperfixation (haven’t found anything that’s stuck)#i am full of nothing but yearning. good ol classic yearning. and i am so moved on from my ex but i keep trying to give them this fucking tv #!!!! ?????? huh????????????? mayne got………#a girlfriend or a cat would fix me. or leaving this country take your pick #working on it #i’ve made a to do list to combat my i have lost the will to do things problem #and on it is APPLY TO JOBS (note; outside singapore (note: outside america too))#i have a plan and it’s to get as far away as possible and live #we’re getting there #in the meantime here’s a funny poem #i was so. in the dream i actually wanted to see them which is crazy. top 10 bad fan characterizations #but it was a dream with a good color palette. all cool whites and grays and a deep deep blue for the night #cold cold white snow. etc. so of course i had to write about it #which i have done. and now i am going to sleep #good bye

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cream-and-tea · 6 months

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pallas in book one is definitely at it-cannot-possibly-get-worse-than-this ABSOLUTE rock bottom but god. there is such a specific flavour to their despair in book two that only happens because of the realization they have at the end of lay me down. like. how do you move on after admitting that everything you believed in was a lie. how do you live with what you’ve done (with what has been done to you). is it possible to pull yourself up out of the pit you’ve dug. what do you do if it isn’t. what do you do if it IS. and once you look at the damage how do you stop looking. past the first layer of hurt there’s just more and more hurt and you were used by the one person who was supposed to keep you safe to cause even MORE pain and no matter how deep you go none of it means anything! it never meant anything at all!! motherfucker your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!