#there are now 3. 2 are open. where did the 3rd come from. wtf

[frogeyedape]

Do you ever just. Completely doubt the continuity of existence.

[irandomblogfulb]

FATE: What happens when you get a bunch of middle aged white guys to adapt a cartoon for girls

Well, I just went through 6 hours of fate and I have a lot of opinions on it. Yeah, this is going to be long (slightly under 3k words) so putting it under read more and obvious spoilers.

PSA before delving right in:

1) Yes, I will be comparing to the original. Any comparisons are not through rose-tinted nostalgia glasses. There are parts here and there that I genuinely think were done better in the cartoon on a writing standpoint.

2) This is purely my opinion and overall negative. Don't like it? Don't read. I'm all up for discussion but I don't want another person crying to me about how I “ruined” their experience of the show.

3) If you like Fate then good for you. This isn’t me bashing people who like it. 

I've spit it up into sub sections just for my own convince.

1. The problem with the 'I'm not like other girls' trope

This pertains to the entire Bloom-Sky-Stella love triangle. I wasn't as pressed about it compared to other winxers (and I loved Stella's and Brandon's relationship on my rewatch). In fact, I was okay with it. But then I sat down and watched the show and there's a lot of underlying problems with the love triangle. Particularly pitting Bloom and Stella against each other for Sky's affection.

Now this part of the love triangle I already didn't like. Correct me if I'm wrong, since I dropped the OG Winx after season 5 but the Winx while they did have their conflicts and arguments, never fought over a boy. I really appreciated that from the cartoon so seeing that live action would fall into that trap – I was mildly annoyed at that. Then it hit me. It's Bloom and Stella.

The seemingly ordinary girl vs the pristine princess of Solaria. If the title didn't give it away, you should get the point by now. Others have already called it by now but the "I'm not like other girl's" trope in itself, while seemingly feminist is actually misogynist. Saying the more masculine type of girl is better than the feminine is inherently misogynist. Stella, the prime princess, girly and feminine, is villainized by the love triangle. Sky's and Stella's relationship is toxic and Stella's overt co-dependence and jealousy are already big fat red signs - but Sky's and Bloom's relationship is built on how she's "different". Bloom isn't like Stella, she's "real".

2. Am I supposed to like Riven?

As the title puts it, wtf am I supposed to feel about Riven. Is he supposed to be a good guy? Do I root for him? Is he morally ambiguous? Because holy shit compared to OG!Riven, this guy is diabolical and much much worse! OG!Riven is an asshole and he teams up with the trix but his arc was very simple and easy to understand. He joins the bad guys, distances himself from the good guys, the trix betray his ass, he self-reflects in the dungeon - escapes and redeems himself. Net!Riven is so bad to the point where you can't redeem him and the writers don't even try. Freddie Thorp is good in his role. (however, he definitely doesn't pass for a 17-year-old. He's 26 and it shows) and he actually makes the cringe dialogue work. But he's way too diabolical and downright predatory. The scene where he forces Dane to gulp down his spiked drink - it’s worse seeing it than reading it. That grossed me out more than the gore.

What makes it worse, nobody properly calls him out. Beatrix kinda does on his homophobia – “Homophobic bashing by GIF” - and Sky does chastise him, but they still tolerate him. It is kinda funny in a way Sky has a whole ass arc about how he's enabling Stella's problematic behaviour by still dating her after she blinded her friend but doesn't realize he's doing the same for Riven.

The only person that really puts her foot down with Riven is Terra and nobody takes her seriously about anything she says.

Everyone is very laissez-faire around him and that's not how you respond to your friend being problematic. (Hey, kinda like the other girls sans Aisha are with Bloom!) Everyone surrounding Riven is so disgusting and the notion of him supposedly being a good guy is very hard to buy into. His whole relationship with Dane has a section of it’s own because there’s just a lot to unpack.

3. Stella I am so sorry

I'm also in the majority hating how they've tarnished Stella. Basically, they turned her into the stereotypical rich bully with mommy issues.

I get that Stella has an abusive mom but that’s no excuse to be a total bitch to her roommates. And no, her roommates shouldn't accept her back with open arms. And she doesn't even redeem herself - the girls just accept her back after her mom pulls her from Alfea.

And this is also another issue with the writing were the characters suddenly just change their opinions on a whim. Suddenly Stella likes the winx, suddenly Terra misses Stella even though having that girl literally gives her anxiety. Suddenly Aisha's on Bloom's side in the end.

This isn't me simping for the cartoon out of nostalgia. I was mostly okay with the idea of Stella and Sky hooking up. But Looking at it from a creative standpoint - looking at the source material, and the many paths you can take this character, the best thing Brian Young and co. can think of for her was turning her into the stereotypical rich bully that we've seen time and time again? No deconstruction no meta take, it's played out exactly how you’d expect it.

Again, this isn't me simping for the show. Purely from a creative standpoint Stella was such a major let down. There's so much to the character and Brian Young took the easiest, saturated path.

4. That one scene with Bloom's parents

You know the one. Mike unhinges Bloom's bedroom doors and Vanessa cusses out and insults her child like a petty teen bully. Forgetting how utterly cringey that scene was, you can't have her mom go batshit insane on her child, then act like she's this loving parent that cares so deeply about her daughter. Screw that! Vanessa deserved those 3rd degree burns! She invaded her daughter's privacy. Bloom didn't even do anything wrong!

I can't buy into this narrative of Vanessa and Mike being loving parents when they do something like that. Seriously who thought that was okay?

5. Pity Parties for everyone.

I already discussed this in Stella’s section but I don’t like the “it’s okay for me be a shitty person because my life sucks :)” narrative Fate tries to pull. They did it with Stella, Bloom, Riven.

What I liked about the first season of Winx Club is Bloom’s arc and her character as a whole. Because while she went through shit, from the Trix, to finding out she was adopted, her existential crisis, not feeling like she belonged, losing the dragon flame, she went through a lot. She didn’t throw a pity party. She didn’t whine, bitch and complain. She allowed herself to feel upset, took it as it is and tried to make lemonade out of lemons. And I respect that.

Net!Bloom is agrevating. She does some dumb, reckless stuff but it’s excused because she’s the protagonist? She let the war criminal out, the school gets taken over by the bad guys because of Bloom. Faragonda fucking dies because she let the war criminal out! The burned ones attacked the school because she let the war criminal out!!! But no, Aisha’s villainized for calling Bloom out because Bloom’s existential crisis is more important then anything else.

Getting to Sky, he isn’t as bad as the others. He doesn’t become a shitty person because of his problems. (Though lowkey flirting with Bloom while he hooks up with Stella is uh not good.) But he does come across incredibly whiny. Because of the cringey dialogue and the unnecessary swearing  I can’t take his speech on opening up to Bloom seriously. I laughed throughout the whole thing and Bloom leaving his unconscious body there was the icing on the cake.

One of the few characters that deserved a pity party is Terra. She’s very much like OG!Bloom in a way. She is bullied by Dane and Riven, has body insecurities, anxiety, nobody listens to her and at most only tolerates her. Despite all the crap that is thrown her way she still reminds humble, kind, and respectful. And she is one of the few characters that deserves more support than what she got out of the season.

5. Bloom, Aisha, Tokenism and their awful relationship

I’m going to be upfront, their relationship sucks. The core of their dynamic is what Aisha can do for Bloom. It’s very one-sided. Bloom only goes to Aisha to help solve her problems, which Aisha gladly does – but when Aisha disagrees with Bloom or says something Bloom doesn’t like, Bloom suddenly goes off and Aisha’s made to be the bad guy. Even though she’s right? And Aisha has her own problems as well, shown to also struggle with her powers. But nope, that’s pushed to the back burner because Bloom needs help.

I am all for creative freedom. I can stomach Stella x actual Sky. I can stomach turning Stella into a rich mean girl. I can stomach the dark academia aesthetic but what Brian Young and co. did to Aisha is just plain racist. Screw the “it’s an adaptation” excuse. Turning this character who had a rich storyline and was a princess into a white girl’s magical negro who fixes all her problems is racist and by definition tokenism. And by whitewashing the other two characters of color, making Aisha the only poc in the group – that’s the worst thing you can do to her.

And frankly we need more black princesses on screen.

6. Dane and the homophobia of the show

Towards the show’s climax it’s revealed Dane is helping Beatrix because she accepts he’s “different”. Not only does this go back to my pity party rant but like bruh,

1)      Beatrix never really did anything for Dane? She hung out and smoked with him a bit, but that’s all. You’re telling me Terra wouldn’t accept Dane? Beatrix never helped him and he never really opened up to her about his struggles.

2)      Nobody else, not even background characters bully or harass Dane for being “different”. It’s only Riven, the guy he’s crushing on. The whole falling in love with the bad boy/abuser trope is bad in a hetero relationship and that still stands for a gay one. And I know damn well if Dane was a woman half of the shit Riven did to Dane wouldn’t slide.

It makes no sense for Dane to side with the bad guys when Riven’s the one bullying him and Beatrix is complacent in the bullying. Oh, and having your second black* character who’s also lgbt+/potentially questioning be a villain? Not good.

I’m all for gay and poly rep, but not like this. If Stella and Sky’s toxic relationship is going to be called out for what it is, why not Dane’s?

*Idk if Theo Graham is light-skinned black or biracial so I’ll just refer to him as black.

7. The plot

It’s very predictable. Personally, wasn’t fond of the ‘twist of a twist of a twist’ style of writing. The story tries to be nuanced and deep but it’s not. Common sense is treated like a big revelation. Not trusting the war criminal you barely know isn’t as big of a take that the writers try to make it out to be.

8.  Everything else

·       Beatrix is fine. No Icy but did like the gothic bookworm aesthetic.

·       Sam is just there to be Musa’s love interest and provide some dumb drama between Musa and Terra. I thought they’d go the Edward/Bella root – Musa’s drawn to Sam because she can’t sense his emotions for some reason. Nope, they just get together for the obligatory make out sessions. Don’t care much for the relationship or the character.

·       Since the powers are all elemental shouldn’t there be classes purely for an elemental? Classes purely for fire fairies, etc?

·       Musa’s powers are confusing. If she has no control over them and they are “always on”, shouldn’t her eyes constantly be glowing purple?  Very wishy washy. Sometimes they overwhelm her and other times she has complete control. Her character is just there for plot stuff.

·       Terra is one of the better characters but can’t enjoy her knowing about the whitewashing. Why can’t we have a plus sized character just exist and not have body issues?

·       Sky doesn’t feel like a prince. Characters treat him like his dad is a war hero and not the King of Eraklyon. There was a point where I thought I misheard and thought his dad was just a war hero and not a king.

·       Why try to justify Rosalind’s war crime if she’s going to be the big bad anyways?

·       The way the characters treat death/act around death is very weird. Musa and Terra see a pile of dead bodies and they’re unreasonable calm. Especially Bloom an “ordinary teenage girl from earth”, reacts very nonchalant when death and war crimes are brought up. Doesn’t help the show tries to push this “they’re kids fighting a war” narrative.

·       Can’t buy into the girls’ friendship. The Aisha/Bloom dynamic is centred on what Aisha can do for Bloom. Bloom only cares about herself and only goes to her friends to help with her problems. Most of Musa’s and Terra’s interaction centre around Sam. Stella didn’t care for the girls until her mom showed up and pulled a 180. The girls were quick to turn on Aisha when she sided with the adults.

·       I have no problem with technology existing but why do they have Instagram, Tiktok and Tumblr? The otherworld is a completely separated from Earth, why do they have the same technology?  

9. Brian Young, what do you mean by mature?

I grew up on the 4kids dub before transitioning to the Nick dub for season 4 and 5 then dropping the cartoon for good. So naturally on my rewatch of the cartoon I decided to go watch the RAI dub since I heard it’s more accurate and 4Kids are infamous for their horrid localisations straying too much to the source material. Upon finishing season 1 and currently watching season 2, a few things took me by surprise. For one, the cartoon is surprisingly dark. The schools are at war with the Trix and their army of Darkness, Sky almost dies in Season 2, Riven almost dies and the Trix thinks he suicided, it’s heavily implied in Season 2 Darkar murdered some of the pixies, the paedophilic undertones of Bloom and Avalon’s relationship, the list goes on.

When the interview with Brian Young came out, he said Fate would be a mature take on the cartoon. And I wondered, what did he meant by mature? Was he going to delve deeper into the darker aspects of the show, or did he mean he was going to have the girls swear and have sex? Watching Fate, I found my answer.

If you take out the gore, swearing, drug and alcohol usage from the live action, the maturity is on par with the RAI dub. The difference is in the presentation. This is what sucks about the mentality surrounding live action remakes. Because the OG!Winx was colourful with glittery transformations , was super girly and overall had a positive upbeat tone (not forgetting 2D animated) - it can’t be taken seriously. You have to strip all that, the colour, the kindness, the femininity in order to be deemed mature.

10. Wrapping up

I went into Fate expecting the worst and honestly, it wasn’t that bad. There were things I liked about it. The show looks pretty, and I did like what they were trying to do with Sky’s arc. The actors did what they could with the material. Freddie Thorp made the cringe dialogue work and Abigail Cowen proves she can carry a show as the lead.

Fate is your generic, YA, dark academia show. It follows all the tropes of the YA genre to a T. If that’s your niche, then you’ll love Fate and I’m not bashing anyone who liked it.

For me, as a creative, it doesn’t capitalise on the strengths of the source material. I’m not asking for Winx Club again, as I’ve reiterated, I’m all for creative freedom. But Brian Young, Iginio Straffi, whoever worked on this – they could’ve created something new, innovative, something that stood out from the hordes of other YA shows. They had good material in their hands! But what I got -  I’ve seen before, and I’ve seen it done better. That’s a major disappointment.

As a winx club fan, don’t bother watching this. It’s a very diluted version of the Winx. In trying to capture the interest of the adult fans who grew up with the franchise – Iginio showed how out of touch he is if he thinks this is what they wanted.

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 5x12 Souls of the Departed

Currently reading (well, listening) to The School for Good and Evil Series. It’s so good! It’s basically Wicked the Musical and has a fairy tale element like OUAT. Can’t recommend enough!

I had the weirdest dream last night that Ouat’s Gothel was hiding behind my bed at my old house trying to scare me. She stayed up all night with some blankets, waiting to pounce. Also, she was naked. Jesus Christ, wtf is wrong with my dreams?! I do not see Gothel in that way at all!! I was so freaking disturbed! @fairytalepsuedonym​ this is all your fault for putting that dirty hippie witch bitch on my mind lol xD! /jk

Also guys, we’re getting Disney+ today. I’m so excited! Let me know if anyone has any recommendations.

And you know what I just thought of? It looked like they were implying that Merida and Lord Macintosh were gonna be a thing (possibly? I think it’s up for interpretation) but he outright shot an arrow at one of her brothers and wanted the others dead too. Merida would never! Her brothers mean too much to her to forgive such a thing. Also, she gives me gay vibes. I don’t make the rules. Alistair makes all the rules. 

Back to the rewatch.

Oh yeah! This is the 100th episode! The compilation for 100 episodes was so freaking epic!

Neal! Is that really him though?

She’s staring at his lips lol!

Omg! Emma would have come back for Neal if she could. That means she believes they were true love, and she could have split her heart with him, right?

So, he appeared to her? 

Omg! The way Emma is stroking his face and is staring at him, you’d never know she was working on saving her boyfriend lol.

You know what would have been so much better? If the underworld was perpetually dark and foggy (within reason) like the sims 4 Forgotten Hollow. That would have looked so much cooler!

Here comes the red filter. As a gifmaker and even as a viewer I wanna scream every time I see it but at least it’s not the Dark Swan arc.

I said it before and I’ll say it again: they should have let Regina’s and maybe even Rumple’s victims confront them! That would have been interesting to watch play out. I know we got Regina’s dad and Peter Pan but give me a family of Regina’s slaughtered villagers. What would their reaction be to seeing her?

Eww. I hate the way she dips her finger in that pie.

Guys. It doesn’t matter that you have Regina surrounded, she has pyrokinesis and telekinesis! Y’all are screwed! She blew the flames out? She had the advantage! I’m glad she didn’t hurt them of course, but as someone writing a book that consists of characters with magic abilities, you’ve gotta know when a powerful character has the advantage and when to use it. Where was Snow dodging a fireball as one of her arrows flies at Regina and it pauses in mid air only to sore back at Snowing and their friends, but they manage to outsmart her somehow? 

Woah. This is the boldest Henry Sr. has ever been. He’s really trying to help Regina out here. 

Cora!! My love!! I missed you!!

I love the Blind Witch. Does she have a name? I enjoyed her in ‘Regina Rising.’ I remember she’s quite a bit older than Regina

The Blind Witch: “What can I get you? Do you like gingerbread or children?” Omg Snow’s like “what the actual f**k??”

James, why are you like this?? Get off her, dude.

Those key rings are cool.

Why the hell didn’t Emma just tell Henry she saw his dad? I can think of absolutely no reason why she would keep that from him.

Lately all Robin has done is make random comments pointing out the obvious. “It’s uncanny. It’s so similar yet so off.” Yes, Robin we established that 9 minutes ago. His next line will be, “Goodness, is that a tree over there?” or “Regina, you were the Evil Queen”, mark my words. Where has his personality gone? I was never a big fan but at least he was kinda arrogant and cheeky before, at least in season 2 and 3. Now he’s just a dude that points on the ground and tells you there’s a stone. And they have the chemistry of a banana and a cheese cracker.

“Her puny army of sweaty little child beasts.”

Are those black roses? 

I may be wrong but wasn’t Cora trying to get Regina to stop hunting Snow White and find true love instead in 4x20 or am I making things up? And I wonder if this is before or after she appeared in 4x20. 

I just love Cora so much.

Is that how she got to the EF in 4x20? Through a looking glass?

The fact that she could so easily cross realms suggests that she willingly gave Regina her space. Which is something! But it feels like she’d have ulterior motives for that. Also Jefferson and Rumple would be screaming if they knew it was that easy to cross realms.

Regina: “are you threatening me?” Cora: “No. Of course not, never.” But you literally are though.

Peter Pan! He was under-utilised this season. Come on! They could have done so much with him! I’m glad at least Cora and Cruella got decent screen time.

Imagine watching OUAT for the first time with this episode and you see this full-grown man refer to a teenage boy as is father. I would be so confused lol.

I wonder if Rumple / Rumple’s father hail from Dunbroch originally. You know, with the Scottish accent. I’m kinda thinking about headcanoning that now. At least, I think Malcolm had a Scottish accent?

That got me! I forgot Cora had glamoured into Henry Sr.! I thought Cora had shapeshifted into Snow to trick Henry.

Oh, so Henry Sr. contacting her was the reason Cora could walk through the looking glass. If only someone had contacted Jefferson. And I’ve just remembered that in 4x20, she said a white rabbit brought her to the EF.

Killian looks creepy as hell here!

Lol Cora, you let Henry wrap the heart? What did you expect to happen!

Why did Regina need Snow’s heart to kill her? She could have easily killed her without even touching her. 

What the hell does Snow think is in there? She looks terrified.

Archie, wtf were you doing between Snow’s titties?! And what were you doing with a match? Gonna set some titties on fire xD? I bet she could never look at him the same again. 

He doesn’t want Regina to kill Snow because he thinks it will make her dark forever? What about all the other people she’s killed?! That makes no sense!

Okay, given that Grace didn’t seem to physically age much between the flashbacks in 1x17 and the present day in 1x17, this probably happened after the flashback’s events in 4x20. 

According to wiki, Regina’s birthday is February 1st. I’m only learning this now.

I’ve never seen Henry Sr. so bold and Adam end to help Regina.

Okay, so Regina shrunk Henry with her magic but she needed a mushroom to return him to his normal size?

Don’t lock him in that box omg!!

Cora: “when are you gonna get it in that thick head...” she’s so casually abusive.

Random thought but why is Henry’s surname Mills? It just seems like it’d be Cora’s surname. Maybe he took hers on but that seems strange for a Prince to do.

Cora, don’t!

Henry’s alright!

Aww. Henry got to meet his 3rd Grandpa! He’s so happy she named him after him. 

I’m tearing up.

“Remember who you are, Regina.”

Henry, honey, you need to go home.

Is that Persephone?

Oh my God! I’m so excited for the Cora and Zelena stuff!! By far my favourite thing of the season! To hear Cora say Zelena’s name- the fact she knows her name- I’d waited for so long for this! It left open so many questions!

And Hades infuriated with Cora on the love of his life Zelena’s behalf!! He loved her so much and would do anything for her. I don’t ship it as much as I initially did because of how it ended but that man freaking loved and cherished Zelena. He wanted everything for her. She desperately needed that and it was an emotional experience to see her get it.

That’s like her worst nightmare, being a peasant again. 

I can’t with the flame hair.

I forgot this episode was pretty good. I didn’t remember liking it but Cora saved it for me. I forgot she was in it because I have probably watch season 5 the least as I try to avoid it lol. 

[stardustintheabyss]

BNHA Headcanon!

How Kaminari, Bakugo, Todoroki, Shinso, Dabi and Kirishima ask a certain question 💍 x fem!reader, y'all in your 20's

Warnings: cursing, long af(I couldn't help myself, I love all kiri's and non kiri's equally) no regrets.

Kaminari:

Haha boi proposed on the first date tbh

You laughed at one of his cheesy pick ups. You did you unrestrained 'ugly' laugh. Like someone has to make you reeeaaallllyyy laugh.

Bb fell hard for that laugh,"marry me, y/n"

You fell just as hard "alright"

Him blushing like crazy 👍🏻⚡👍🏻

Fast forward a few years

If you don't think he's gonna do something big and romantic and on the verge of embarrassing, lol your wrong

This guy proposes with a fucking flash mob

1. How did he organize this? Bakusquad unite!

2. How'd this beautiful loud blonde keep it to himself? Mina threatened his existence & Bakusquad

So there you both are surrounded by family and friends, Denki down on one knee, opening a small box with a gorgeous ring inside.

"Y/n, can I do you the honor of telling you pickup lines for the rest of our lives?"

*swoons*

"You, dummy."

He falters a little. Um what? Sad boi

"I told you on our first date I would." You leaned down giving him a kiss.

Bb shines brighter than the three great sunshines combined. Yk who

"I love you, y/n."

"I love you too, Denki."

Your guy's version of ily is some random pickup line unless your in a serious mood

Everyone collectively groaned at your guy's wedding vows lmao

They were literally all cheesy pickup lines, terrible puns and bad jokes.

Bakugo:

Bakugo fucking Katsuki is a closet romantic and you can't change my mind

He takes you hiking on one of your dates

You find a gorgeous spot accidentally you just had to take a short cut

Crystal clear lake w/ cherry blossom trees and a mt view? Heaven

This becomes your spot

You think nothing of it when katsuki suggests getting away for a weekend see romance

Getting in the car he throws a blindfold at you. "What's this for?"

"Just put it on idiot."

You roll your eyes, grinning like a fool but does what he asks

You drive for a bit then feel the car stop

"Can I take it off now?"

"No, I'll tell you when you can take it off." 😳 "I'm going to put noise cancelling headphones on you, do you trust me?"

You've learned to roll w/ his shenanigans cuz they are rare but always welcome. "Don't ask stupid questions, babe." Last thing you here is his 'tch'.

He gently tugs you out of the car and then sweeps you up into his arms. You can't help but smile.

He's been carrying you for at least 2hrs. "Kat, do you need a break?"

He just kisses you in response and silences you #1 hero bakugo doesn't do breaks

Al-righty then

Another hour goes by and you feel bakugo set you down softly, making sure you have your footing. He takes off the headphones

"Take off the blindfold."

You do. Your at your spot. You turn around to find your boyfriend toying w/a little black box

*heart palpitations ensue*

You look at him wide eyed.

He opens the box and you see a ring that is his mom's family heirloom. It's a vintage beauty that you've adored.

Tbh when he asked his mom for it he almost said never mind when she started asking a bunch of annoying questions.Old hag

"Will you marry me or whatever..." he's still bakugo lol

"Whatever." You say with the biggest grin

Bb narrows his eyes at you confused. "HUH?" Cuz how dare you???

"Saying 'yes' is too ordinary an answer. And you katsuki bakugo are anything but ordinary." You say as you slip the ring on your finger. Your man is stunned by your answer to do it himself. Lol

Just cuz you got him flustered and blushing does not mean he won't pull you into a passionate kiss.

Who's the mess now, dumb dumb?

Instead of saying 'I do' at the wedding you both say 'whatever'.

Nobody knows what the fuck is going on except kirishima because he's the one marrying you two.

Todoroki:

You've know eachother since high school and started dating your 3rd year

Now years later, your both well established pro heros

Did you say vacation?

Because Shoto heard 3 week romantic dream vacation w/ a proposal ending

He worked so hard for this. He didn't want to use his father's money for once. This was going to be all him, no one else.

Well except his mom and sister helped pick out a ring. Clueless bb

He took you to all the places on your bucket list, ending in greece.

It was your last night there.

On a cliff overlooking the moonrise over the sea, you were snuggled up next to him. Warm wind gently caressing your skin.

You've noticed him being antsy and fidgety the last couple days.

And that is not like your shoto, at all

"Sho, you okay? You've been acting weird." You ask gently.

"Um, yes. Can I ask you something?"

You give him a kiss and nod.

"Would you do me the honor of becoming mrs. shoto todoroki?"

At least that's what you thought he said. He was so nervous it came out a jumbled mess.

He pulled a ring out of his pocket.

It was perfect. In fact it was exactly what you and fuyumi talked about in one of your guy's games of crazy hypotheticals. Haha jokes on you

You definitely started crying

Your sweet oblivious sho "If you don't like it-"

"No. It's perfect, I love it. Just like you." You pepper his face with kisses. "And yes I will marry you."

He has the biggest smile on his face as he takes your hand and slides the ring on.

You thought the Todorokis and your family were chaotic before? Lol let's throw in wedding planning 🙃

Two months before the wedding you two are sick of everything. Everyone trying to do everything the way they want this wedding. You both wanted a somewhat small gathering. Yeah no *insert monamas hysterical laugh*

Elope? Elope.

You gather a small group of your closest friends. Ok. More like all of class 1a

Shoto buys first class tickets to greece for everyone. No qualms of using his dad's credit card this time lol

SHOTOOOOOOOOO!!!

You and shoto get married in front of all your friends on the cliff where he proposed.

It was beatiful & perfect. Exactly what you guys wanted.

So when the 'real' wedding (endeavors words) happens you and shoto fuck with it any way you can.

You both have the best time messing around. Your guy's parents not so much. But they end up seeing how happy you both are so they give up on having the perfect wedding.

A few years later when you find out your pregnant you both seriously debate faking your deaths and going into hiding. Wouldnt be the first Todoroki to do so

Shinso:

You guys frequently visit the animal shelter to give loves to all the animals

He saw how attached you were with a bonded pair of ragdoll kittens he loved them too

This gave him an idea, he had been having a hard time of thinking how he was going to pop the question

It was pur-fect don't judge me

It was early in the morning, you were still in bed when you felt something tickle your nose

"Mmh,...toshi. Your hair is tickling me." Still sleepy, not even bothered to open your eyes.

You were greeted w/ small meows

Your eyes never snapped open so fast in the morning

Two tiny kittens before you. The ones from the shelter

Wide awake now you began petting them and playing with them

Haha shinso who?

He was silently watching from the doorway smiling, waiting for his moment

You looked at the kittens collars. Scribbled in shinsos handwriting "marry" on one "me" on the other.

You gasped and your mouth formed a little o.

He was waiting for this. He walked over and got on his knee, ring in his hand

"Y/n, please, will you be mine, forever?"

Leaning in lips almost touching "only if you'll be mine."

Say no more, boi is putting a ring on it and closes the gap between your lips.

The only thing that breaks the kiss is a soft tiny paw patting your cheek and another playing with shinos hair

You giggle. "You got them for yourself just as much, didn't you?"

He just rubs the back of his neck and gives you a smirk

You spend the rest of the day trying to pick names.

You guys decide on satori & kotaro haikyuu reference ftw

The day ends. You come to find your two new bbs sleeping on a sleeping hitoshi a miracle ikr

A photo shoot? Hell yes! Dadzawa needs to see this.

You take the pic and send a quick text along with it to Aizawa. Your future f-in-l. 'Guess how toshi proposed?'

You get a quick response "I'm a grandpa now? I get them twi-three times a month."

Your snort woke your fiance

Him seeing your phone. "Did you take a picture of me? Creep."

"No." You say slyly. "I took a picture of my boys." You show him. As you set it as your wall paper.

"Send it to me please." You do, what you don't expect is a pic in return from him

It was of you in bed the s'morning. With your new kittens, kotaro and satori, before you even knew they were there. also his wallpaper

And damn if you don't smile "who's the creep?"

"What's this text from my dad about 'custody of his grandchildren'?"

You laugh and explain

Yes you had your cats in the wedding. They started all this yk.

They were ring barers. Complete w/little tuxes shinso insisted

Lmao it was like the hunger games when deciding who was going to take care of the cats when on your honeymoon.

Shota won obviously

"They are staying w/their grandfathers and that is final." *scary hair whoosh*

Dabi:

When you joined the LoV, you confused dabi.

You were kind and caring to everyone. Wtf?

Even when they didn't deserve it

Why are you with the villians? Are you stupid?

That is until he saw the rage and hurt in your eyes the first time you fought together.

It reminded him of himself

Of how he got where he was

Slowly you had unconsciously worked your way into his heart

You caring for his wounds(new and old), your soft smiles and warm eyes. You never looked at him with disgust, fear or malice.

You were the first to ever do so in a long long time. Since his childhood.

He never wanted to fall in love but here was fate pushing you two together.

You fell just as slowly. You thought you were never really worthy of love. But it didn't stop you from giving it to those around you. Loophole you thought.

But you would find dabi doing little things. Things that made you feel something you shouldn't. Things you didn't think you deserved.

Throwing a blanket over you if you fell asleep on the couch.

Getting your favorite snacks

During fights he would casually move between you and your enemies. Protecting you.

Well shit here you both were. Madly in love, but still apprehensive.

But when he asked you to call him by another name and you did?

That's when dabi kissed you for the first time. It shocked you both tbh

It wasn't rough like you had imagined. But soft and sweet. Nothing like the mask he wears for everyone.

After about 8 months of dating dabi realized he wanted to be yours forever. And you his.

So fuck proposing. He did a surprise wedding. He didn't want to give you chance to change your mind. because insecure bb🥺

He got everything ready.

Now he just needed you

Their was a beautiful knee length white lace dress laying on your bed with a note "meet me here. Kurogiri will warp you.-t"

Running your fingers over the dress, you smiled. You always did like surprises from him.

You got yourself ready for your date with the love of your life and went to find kurogiri.

He met you with a blindfold that matched dabi's eyes

"He requested you wear this."

You nodded and let him tie it on

Next you thing know you feel dabi's warm hand in yours.

"You ready, doll?" You can hear the smirk in his voice.

"Until the end, babe."

He slips off the blindfold

You're in a forest with twinkle lights strewn about and a blue flamed candle walkway to a beautiful arch covered in your favorite flowers. Your closest leauge friends are here too.

"Will you let me stand by your side, until the end?"

You gently cup his cheeks in your hands, brushing your lips against his. Whispering for no one else to hear

"Yes, toya. For you, even longer."

He doesn't even need to smirk. You can see the overwhelming happiness in his eyes.

When you say your I do's surprisingly enough all your friends have happiness written on their face too. Even shiggy

The next day he gets a new piercing on his ring finger and you a small blue flame tattoo on yours.

Kirishima:

You've had eijirou kirishimas heart since your first year of UA together

One day he was feeling insecure about his quirk and you showed up changing the way he saw himself.

"Kirishima, you're the unbreakable Red Riot. It's not about how flashy a heros quirk is, it's about their resolve. Your tenacity to protect and save people..." you smile, "if that isn't the making to be a great hero I don't know what is."

And tbh he had yours since that 1st yr too. You always admired his courage & his dedication to his friends even if they didn't want it cough bakugo

For two years you both danced around your feelings for eachother. Flirting but never taking the next step.

That is until bakugo not mina, & yes shes jealous she wasn't the one that set you 2 up got fed up one night of your guys flirting.

And I quote "Oi! Would you two go on a fucking date already. I'm tired of listening to shitty hair pine after you." he did out of love for his bestie

It was the only time you've genuinely seen kirishima want to kill bakugo

Shyly you answered, "I'd like that."

Bb turned his head around so fast he almost got whiplash.

You've been together 5yrs now and it was your birthday. Kirishima wanted to make it extra special.

A picnic in your favorite park, he was lucky your bd was at the same time as the cherry blossoms blooming. You loved them.

Setting up the picnic kirishima reminisced.

It was your favorite park because that's where your first date was. It was unusually hot. He got you both popsicles.

It was the first time he had seen you eat one. *crunch crunch*

boy was staring, shook

You blushing "I know, people say it's weird to eat popsicles like that."

"I dont think so." He smiled as he crunched his own. Must be fate.

Now here you two were cuddled laying down on a blanket, your head placed on his chest and his hand around your waist. Finished with lunch

"Thanks for the birthday lunch, babe. I loved it." You sighed contentedly.

What you didn't notice is that he was fiddling with a little red box. "Its not quite over yet. I have one more thing." He sat you both up and looked deeply into your eyes with so much love. " Y/n you-"

Just then a downpour of rain happened.

Kirishima scrambled to pick up the picnic supplies. His hair beginning to fall from its signature style

He turned to grab your hand to pull you under cover. So manly

You were a few feet away. Your eyes closed and head tilted back. A warm smile on your face. Letting the rain wash over you.

He'd never seen anything so beautiful

Picnic supplies forgotten. He knelt in front of you on one knee. He grabbed your hand with one of his.

You opened your eyes and looked down at your eiji. Your rock, your home.

"Y/n, you give me the strength to be unbreakable. Would you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?" He opened the little red box.

Your heart beating as wildly as his

Inside was the most beautiful ring. It held your favorite gemstone. Long ago in hs you and mina were doing girl talk while the guys played video games. You'd told her diamond engagement rings were lame and what you preferred.

He remembered? That was before you were even dating...

You smiled through happy tears "yes eijirou, yes I'll marry you."

"There's an inscription." He said softly.

You looked closer at the ring, even after 7 years of loving him he still found ways to make your heart flutter

'forever unbreakable'

"Oh, Ei, it's perfect."

He slipped it on you and pulled you into a kiss. "Let's get you out of this rain. Wouldn't want you to get sick." we stan a gentlemanly king

"Just a little longer, I hear rain is good luck for this type of thing." You wave your newly ring adorned hand.

"Anything for you." He whispered before kissing you again.

You've never loved the rain more

The wedding day came

You stood before the love of your life and he his

You slide his wedding band on

Engraved inside

'my rock, my home'

"Now the bride." said the person marring you.

"Here you go shitty hair." Said the best man, handing kirishima the ring.

Did you think bakugo wouldnt want to be best man? Haha he's the one that got you two together your welcome or whatever

Kirishima tenderly slipped the ring on your finger.

Of course it decided to pour just then

Everyone ran for cover but you two

Bakugo, "tch, those idiots are going to be sick for their honeymoon." he cares ok

Mina sighing, "so romantic."

You tilted your head to the sky laughing, "babe, the universe is wishing us good luck."

He gently grabbed your chin, making you look at him. "guess we were meant to be." He whispered as he pulled you in for a long passionate kiss in the rain, him still making your heart stutter.

[kariachi]

This is it y’all, a day literal months in the coming- here and now I shall liveblog Dragon’s Kin, by Anne and Todd McCaffrey. By which I mean I will read Dragon’s Kin and take note of anything interesting, valuable, or just that comes to my mind. I have never read this book, it’s still in the plastic packaging it came in, I have never read a Todd book.

We’ll see if I survive.

Before I even open the damn thing, I am looking at the image of the McCaffreys on the back and let me say they look like they should be villains in a comedy western.

A Pass brings with it increased earthquakes, tsunamis, and volcanic activity, due to the whole ‘other celestial body coming in hot’ thing. Which actually makes a lot of sense, certainly more than anything else relating to Threadfall. (“charred bone” is this a fungus or a wildfire)

“Under the leadership of the Lord Holders and Weyrleaders-” *screams into aether*

It took until 16 years prior to the 3rd Pass for the Northern Continent to run out of surface coal and have to start actually digging for the shit

Everybody: Whers? Bah, not much to them, not good for much. Journeyman Miner Natalon: But consider, they might be awesome MasterMiner Britell: Hmmm, I’m keeping an eye on this one...

Chapter 1: “In early morning light I see: A distant dragon come to me”

We meet our main character, Kindan. His sister is getting married, good for her. Shame about the plot that’s going to happen later.

Having a watchwher gets you private housing. Also aw, the wher took their name from Kindan’s father that’s so sweet.

This just in, two boys can’t hang with dragons, settle instead for the simple pleasure of watchwher washing

Zenor: Dragons look like they’re soft, not like watchwhers Kindan: Bitch-

So our biggest asshole so far is a Tarik and honestly I’d be sending him back to the Hall with a nice long report of exactly how much of a fuckwit he is. And I’ve only known him a few pages.

And we meet the other major character- Nuella- who is apparently Somebody though who we have no idea

Oh gods Kindan’s mother is dead, his sister is marrying and leaving, and his father and Dask’s fates are in the fucking summary. Boy is about to have a time.

He has brothers! Well thank fuck.

Whers have external ears

Also I have only known Dask for two paragraphs but I love him

“Then Dask gave a little happy chirp, flapped his wings once, and vanished.” Whers can between, alone and from the ground. Apparently Dask does it all the time go he can avoid the lights from the camp.

Dask is brown, I was figuring but nice to know

Kindan, assuming dragons are harder to wash because they’re fucking massive and need oiling and shit (whers, the dragonkin for the common working fucker)

Chapter 2: “It’s skin is bronze, it’s eyes are green; It’s the loveliest dragon I’ve ever seen”

Damn Kindan’s family is a mess, his brothers are all dicks, his sisters are supposeldy dicks but we haven’t seen them, and the only decent fuckers are leaving or dying

Kindan’s Sister: Kaylek, my brother who loves to sing but couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket, you shall sing at my wedding Master Harper: Over my dead body he will!

Kindan’s siblings may be shit, but he’ll be damned if he allows them to talked bad about by some non-relative and he’s stubborn as a wher himself about it

Am I reading a fucking fairytale film? The new Harper is a dick until he realises ‘oh wait, this kid isn’t complete shit, I shouldn’t have said the seriously horrible things I did’

(Seriously “to think your mother died giving birth to you”, I want Dask to eat him too)

Well it’s nice to see that the ‘whers fly at night because the air is thicker’ thing is only speculation by people with no fucking teachings with regard to that shit. At least so far.

Kindan really just went on a paragraph long internal monologue about the value of miners to the function and survival of Pern and for all he doesn’t in his heart want to be one I kinda want to see him grow into it now. Stories of stepping away from what’s expected of you and forging your own path are great (I’ve been writing some) but stories of falling in love with what before looked like something to be avoided can also be nice.

And now we get a two paragraph internal monologue about how awesome whers are. Best miners ever.

“Traditionally, the marriage ceremony was performed in the morning, timed so that as the couple completed their marriage vows, the sun would rise, signifying the warmth of the new relationship and how it would lighten not only the bride and groom but also all those associated with them.” Awwww!!!!

“However, such a ceremony would mean Dask could not attend. So Jofri had come up with the idea of performing the ceremony with the setting sun, instead, and lighting a bonfire as the final vows were made.” Awwwwwww!!!!!!!

For all the shit you hear and see relating to whers in earlier and later periods (that they’re ugly, and disliked, and kept chained up)  it’s so nice to see Dask truly be part of the family, so much so that they changed the fucking wedding to accommodate him. I want this to be the tradition of handler families now. And then we have to remember that one of the other handlers for the camp straight up fucking left because Tarik was being a dick to his wher and he wasn’t having it. Yes, give me wher love.

Oh my gods Dask flying about with a glow in his claws to act as a spotlight as his handler’s daughter walks down the aisle this is so sweet!

And he’s singing along to the music!

He’s doing the groom too! Dask is a gift!

“For now that these two are one, we are all more,“ Master Zist intoned. He placed Silstra’s hand in Terregar’s and kissed each lightly on the cheek. “To Terregar and Silstra!”

The crowd stood up and roared back: “To Terregar and Silstra!”

“Long life and happiness!” Master Zist intoned.

“Long life and happiness!” the crowd roared back.

Kindan and Nuella officially meet.

Nuella, taking advantage of Kindan not wanting to get given chores on this the night of his sister’s wedding and her own presumed misbehavior to get him to keep her well away from any authority.

Nuella is sheltered as fuck, she hasn’t even seen a mashed potato before

Ah, she’s the twin of the big boss’s son. Don’t know why she’s being so fucking hidden I mean good fuck, but, at least we know who she is.

Aw, Zenor is her bestfriend. Not that she has many options but still

Seven fucking brothers! And an unknown number of sisters! No wonder their mother died having the last one, she birthed at least nine surviving children! Do you know how many she’d have had to have to get those numbers? Was she born pregnant, wtf?

Chapter 3: “Watch-wher, whatch-wher in the night; Guard our Hold, keep it right; When the morning sun does come; Watch-wher, then you job is done”

Aw, Kindan’s relationship with the his brothers is healing

Also Zist is a fucking taskmaster. He gets results but damn, man, chill.

The big boss’s son is apparently a sickly child

Dask has been in A Mood which is a never a good sign when you’re talking about your security critter

Miners’ children all just ‘it’s too quiet, something is wrong’ like they’re fucking birds. Not that they’re wrong, mind, but still

Welp, bad air was released and sparked before Dask could warn the miners (I assume a pocket got opened as somebody else struck some stone) and now we’ve got a cave-in. Dask got out and is now killing himself trying to rescue the miners.

Damn his father and his brothers in one day. And Dask fucking dying in his arms after managing to save the survivors despite bleeding out with his handler dead (which, even if whers can outlive their handlers he had to have felt, he’s dragonkin he’d have noticed the bond breaking, he was doing this despite knowing that he wouldn’t find Danil alive on the other side. Was he this dedicated to his work, was he hoping to save Danil’s boys, we’ll never know).

Pour one out for Danil, who did his damnedest to take care of his children, and for Dask, who was too damn good for us.

Zenor survived, but his father is also dead. He and Kaylek saved the poor boy’s life in exchange for their own. Gods the last thoughts that must’ve been going through that man’s head, as he realized that the mine was collapsing and he had brought his son in with him despite him not being near old enough...

Seriously y’all I’m crying

Chapter 4: “I am too big to cry; And my voice is too shy; To sing my sad, sad song; Or say the words I long; To say to you- good-bye, good-bye.”

The book says Kindan is the youngest of nine. It also says he has seven brothers and plural sisters. And the sisters at least lasted long enough to give him shit growing up. The book lies to me.

Okay so, Kindan’s got two siblings remaining- Jakris and Tofir- one of whom has been fostered to I think a sister of theirs? Kindan doesn’t note who ‘Terra and her husband’ are otherwise so I assume it’s another older sister and another of which has been fostered to Crom Hold where he’ll be learning art and maybe someday mapmaking. Kindan is still in the camp.

Zenor wants to take over his dad’s role of miner like boy you are ten stop

Ah, Kindan wants to stay.

If somebody would light Tarik on fire please? Especially given that he’s sitting here claiming the mining will be better without them when it’s already been stated that the shift with a wher gets more ore out of the ground per shift than the the others because the wher itself is a fantastic digger.

Zist: We need someone to raise Kindan Natalon: So good of you to volunteer Zist: o.o

Nobody likes Tarik, good, send the man back to Crom, let them deal with his ass.

And more confirmation that Kindan has sisters, I really need this book to make up it’s mind

Nuella is upset she’ll have to avoid the Harper’s cottage with Kindan living in it

Zist: If I’m going to raise this child then damnit I’m making him a harper

We’re getting much character stuff but not much actually interesting

Chimney got clogged at the big boss’s house, Kindan managed to save the lot by coming by and noticing, the existence of Nuella is now known to him.

Kindan can keep a secret, he is taking  to harpering well

Mine’s having a lot of minor accidents

And now big boss’s wife’s baby is coming early, these fuckers just cannot catch a break

Nuella and her brother switching places back and forth so she can be involved in shit. Also she has some mind for healing

Zist had a daughter at one point- Carissa. Nice name

Also the baby is fine, a month early but fine. She doesn’t have a name yet, I will keep y’all updated

Chapter 5: “A baby’s cry, a mother’s sigh; Sweet things make a day go by”

Zist, having Kindan run around the camp telling adults what they need to do: It’ll be an interesting challenge for you Kindan, Telling the big boss that Zist offered to do his administrative work: He said it would be an interesting challenge for him

Oh shit Nuella is blind! Honestly, fucking slow clap for not making a big deal of it so far

The Traders have women of rank. I know this is a second Interval story but still, worth noting. Shit hasn’t gone completely to shit for the women yet

Nuella is having a crisis because she has no information including on things like ‘women don’t have to bake or be mothers, there are in fact options’. All of this is not helped by her mother stressing out about whether little Larissa is going to go blind like her sister did. Apparently shit went downhill when she was three and now her life is stress and isolation.

Okay, so Natalon’s mother was blind, and now his daughter is blind, and he’s trying to hide it from everybody for fear people are going to think there’s something wrong with him and will stop working with them and that nobody will want to marry his son. He’s given up on Nuella marrying. I want to smack him and adopt his children out to good homes.

Kindan, age 11, starting to realize girls can in fact be cute

Also they’re disguising her so she can play at the ‘yay there’s finally some new company for a few days’ Gather

Even Tarik’s fucking cronies don’t like him!

Nuella’s parents and brother are aware she’s there. No scene will be made.

Nuella getting to dance while Zist chides Kindan about not setting up his also 11-yo friends. “They’re too young to match, and you’re too young to be a matchmaker.”

Ooo, the mysterious missing 8th apprentice was a wherhandler and decided fuck that noise. Can’t blame him, I wouldn’t want ot deal with Tarik either

The assumption is he’d rather face his master’s wrath than work there, which peeps nothign that they’d all rather die than face their own masters’ wraths, and the noting that he may well have been worried about losing his wher to all this shit. Which makes sense with how hostile Tarik has made the place for them

Chapter 6: “Cromcoal, Cromcoal, burning bright; Warm the cold of winter’s night; Cromcoal Cromcoal, underground; Where the best of all coal’s found”

They are calling a dragon to take them to someone called Aleesa for, presumably, a wher egg. We are nearly halfway through this book, by the way, which is a little fucking late to finally be bringing in the wher egg but sure, fine.

Aleesa is the handle or a gold wher. Apparently the title for that is Master. So you get Weyrwomen and Whermasters. That’s pretty cool.

Kindan sees a dragon take note of the ‘we need a dragon’ flag and “Zist listened appreciatively and guided him to crafting a better tale, so that by the end of a sevenday, Kindan’s story took a full fifteen minutes to tell and left all eyes peering up to the sky, hoping for a glimpse of their own.”

Zist has Timed It before. Apparently he accidentally spooked a dragon hatchling when he was younger and they Impressed his friend and at some point he timed it to go back and help himself fix the damage the panicked bronze did. A bronze whose rider is now a Weyrleader, by the by. He’s figuring if it seems like they’ll miss their meeting to get the egg then hopefully they can Time It to get there on time.

Telgar Weyrleader D’gan shows up a week late, bitches about it not being an emergency, talks shit about everybody and everything, is lucky to leave with his life (I’d have killed him). Zist is, I assume, about to call Benden to actually get shit done.

“So, Kindan, what did you think of your first look at a dragon?” “Oh, they’re pretty enough, but you’d never fit one in a mine.”

Benden Weyrleader M’tal, being a proper fucking dragonrider who understands what his fucking duties are, is going to get shit done

People out here respecting whers and their importance, you love to see it.

Chapter 7: “Watch-wher, watch-wher in the mine; Help save life, yours and mine; Guide us in the darkest night; With your keen unfailing sight”

Gaminth reassuring Kindan as they travel Between.

“-to keep the hatchling warm until it’s second, tougher coat came in” Do, do whers shed their skin like birds molt baby fluff? Start with soft wherlet skin and then shed that for tough wher skin? I am amazed and also that’s adorable.

So, you’ve gotta convince the gold to let you pick one of her eggs to take with you. I presume if she says no and you press the matter she eats you.

Oh gods wherhandlers blood their children to their whers! Oh my gods that’s adorable! Make the babies pack! Gods how strong is that did Dask now how many of them were dead dear gods now I’m sad again-

Talking to the queen wher, being polite, sending her mental images, Kindan is a Good Boy

Wher eggs glow! Dimly but they glow! Also good boy Kindan, compliment those eggs!

Also they are half the size of dragon eggs and have wrinkles. (I assume wher eggs are more like snake eggs at first...)

“Eeny, meeny, tipsy, teeny, ah vu bumberosha, nineteen hundred and two, I pick you.” And he gets one with a ring around it in wrinkle.

Aleesa is a fucking Queen, sending Kindan, Zist, a Weyrleader, and the big boss away with a simple “You bore me.” She does make sure to compliment Kindan on a job well done and to reinforce that she expects her payment (which she’d have gotten either way, by the way, wher eggs are pricey and you’re paying for a shot at being allowed to have one)

On the topic of feeding wherlets:

“We’ve been experimenting, actually, on the best post-hatching meal. Watch-whers are not as insatiable as dragons, but they will gulp down meat and sometimes choke, as you know.” She pinned Kindan with a fiery glare, and he nodded as if he knew exactly what she meant. “D’you have oats?”

Kindan nodded, glancing over at Natalon to be sure he was also listening to Aleesa.

“Then arrange to get fresh blood from whoever butchers at the camp. Make porridge of the oats, using water, and add the blood as the oats thicken in the pot. I’d say a half-pail a day should be sufficient. If you keep the blood cool, a pailful should last over a day or two, no trouble. Most camps or Holds slaughter every other day. Feed it was often as it wants, and some of the liver and lungs that might go to waste otherwise. Don’t start meat hunks until three months, when it has enough back teeth to chew with. You can continue with porridge feeds in the morning until the hatchling starts to coats out.”

So the fuckers don’t start with all their teeth on top of everything.

Chapter 8: “Watch-wher, watch-wher in the egg; Grant to me the boon I beg”

This delight of a child is making porridge constantly so that it’ll be ready when the bab hatches. And then when it starts hatching he immediately darts for the porridge.

Bab eats like a fucking garbage disposal

She is also currently assumed to be green and apparently whers have notable enough bits to tell sex even if you can’t be sure of color

Kindan do not call the bab ugly, she is doing her best

“Did it give you a name?” “I didn’t ask.” “It is enough like a dragon to know it’s own name?” “I don’t know.”

“She’s not as big as I thought she would be.“

“Big enough to have the appetite of nine dragons,“ Kindan, almost proudly.

This girl is adorable

The Harper followed him out to the shed and greeted Zenor, who hadn’t moved from the spot in which Kindan had left him. The hatchling had been trying to crawl up his legs, her hungry bleek more insistent.

She has been blooded but not named. Kindan is moving in with her.

Nuella you’re a doll but if you can not assume that a baby can eat whatever an adult can eat, especially when Kindan is working off the knowledge of someone who actually, ya know, has experience with this shit? It’d be great.

The bab is now named Kisk and it’s pretty apparent she named her own damn self, for all that she didn’t use words.

Kindan, in a very 11-yo moment, wonders whether the WherMaster actually knows anything about raising whers since weaning his early worked out fine

Wherlet playing, I repeat, wherlet playing, far too adorable

Kisk is going to be a good little guard, already rooting out people who are where they shouldn’t be

Tarik’s wife likes whers! And is teaching her children to like whers! As all good people should!

Cristov, son of Tarik the Dick, is trying to make up his own mind about whers and-

Kisk darted her tongue out and licked Cristov’s outstretched hand before he could pull it bac,k. She made a sad, don’t-you-like-me noise at Cristov

Tarik: *talks shit like he’s got anything going for him* His Wife: *is gonna fucking smack him if he doesn’t start with some basic decency*

Kisk keeping Kindan up all damn night

Chapter 9: “Walk, baby, walk, come to me; Soon, baby, soon, you’ll walk away from me”

And now they’re trying to say Zenor and Nuella were born and raised in the camp despite saying earlier in the book that they’d been there less than a year two years ago.

Also at 3 months Kisk is 12 hands high at the shoulder and 40 from nose to tail. Which is about 4 ft by 13 ft, and still growing.

Kindan, hit with the sudden realization that oh, yeah, being a wherhandler is going to mean not being a harper

Nuella if anything the fact Kindan can’t see in the dark and doesn’t know where he’s going is all the more reason it’d be better training for Kisk to lead him than you, who knows this tunnel like the back of her hand, blind or no

Ooo, Tarik the Dick had a camp the failed, so now he’s all sour because his nephew’s doing better than him.

M’tal is here, Telgar is still bitches (what is it with Telgar being assholes?) and whers apparently don’t have the same problems with oiling and shit dragons do despite growing far faster which makes no damn sense but sure

Whers and dragons can chat amongst themselves, to the surprise of noone, or at least not me.

Nuella’s sweet on Zenor and honestly, go for it kiddo

Kisk is starting to learn.

Chapter 10: Hot air rises, cold air falls; These are thermodynamic laws

(Fuckers expect me to believe the Pernese couldn’t keep the word ‘year’ but ‘thermodynamic’ survived)

Nuella theorizing that whers see heat because she can feel it. I want to say it’s because she’s twelve and, as kids do, thinks she knows everything, but the more I read the more I’m fairly sure it’s just that the McCaffrey’s want her to be Amazing and The Best (which, ugh) and so are just, doing this. It doesn’t work.

Dragonriders here looking for a potential goldrider (very clearly Nuella from the conversation) and lamenting that based on the dragon’s description she might be blind and therefor ‘unable to Impress’ and just- Shit that makes you wanna throw things

Ya know they did so good before they revealed Nuella is blind. She was just another kid then, it was nice, but now... I love her but my hackles are raising

Also can I just say that whers seeing heat is the stupidest thing I’ve heard yet, given everything we know about their anatomy leads to them seeing in the darkness like everything else with massive fucking eyes and a nocturnal disposition.

Operation: Teach Whers to Bespeak Dragons During Emergencies is a go

Nuella claiming that whers can’t be taught to Between because nobody can see heat like they (apparently) can and we’re to take this as gospel despite the like, second thing Dask ever did on-page being to Between on his lonesome. Did these people not have editors? It didn’t seem so bad at first but as time goes on and we get more shit that contradicts other shit (we got contradicting information within pages of each other for fuck’s sake) I am slowly losing my mind

Tarik continues to be a dick and refuses to shore up his tunnels correctly. And he wonders why he lost his fucking camp.

Kindan saw through Kisk’s eyes during hide-and-seek

Chapter 11: “Watch-wher, watch-wher, guard us all; With your dragon-summoning call”

Turns out wherhandlers don’t take well to some dragonrider coming by and trying to teach them about their whers.

Nuella is being offered the chance to go teach whers to chat with dragons.

Everyone is supportive even while she has a quick little existential breakdown that’s probably been building for a while

We skip forward to Nuella going via dragon to Lemos to start her work. Dragons like her and she takes well to Between

Wherhandlers really can’t do well learning from dragonriders because their critters are so different

Nuella is good at what she does.

There’s far too much of old men going ‘*gasp* this child suddenly reminds me of [blank] they are amazing’ though

Whers and their handlers are learning

Turns out, surprise surprise, whers are awesome

Chapter 12: “Harper, harper, sing me a song; Give me a tune that lasts all day long”

Feels like it’s trying too hard...

Tarik the Dick has caused a cave-in and now is refusing to do anything about it because he is, well, see above

There is a now a team of rescuers, mostly kids, out to save the day via secret passage and wher

Nuella: Lolanth, I need your rider to send word to the MasterMiner and also get the pumps pulling air out the mines Lolanth: I have told my rider, and called Gaminth, he and his are coming, and I’ve called Ista, they’re coming, and I’ve told the miners-

Lolanth is a Good Dragon who apparently does not go halfsies

Lolanth got everyone and their grandmother to this camp within thirty seconds

On the one hand, blind characters getting to be awesome, one the other, this is really leaning towards Magically Disabled. Nobody can hear things like Nuella can, nobody can work with whers like Nuella can, nobody is as smart as Nuella is, she’s 12 and better than the majority of the adults around her, just, if they could fucking chill for five minutes.

Also people are alive on the other side of the cave-in

Finally Kindan remembers that Dask could Between, and I promise you it’s going to turn out that he was a miracle and only Nuella (who has no idea what’s on the other side of the cave-in) can show Kisk where she needs to go

Wow, it’s like I’m magic

Chapter 13: “Watch-wher, watch-wher, do you know; All the places you can go?”

I’m glad everybody who survived the cave-in is saved but we just got a fucking paragraph “But it is I who have been blind” speech from Nuella’s father and just. Kill me, please.

And Kisk has decided to swap handlers and be Nuelsk now.

And Kindan is going off to become a Harper.

~~

Okay, not the worst book I’ve read. There were places that needed editing, there was a lot of shit that contradicted each other (Kindan’s everchanging number of siblings just being one example), it had plenty of the McCaffrey’s trademark Totally Accurate Science, and the longer I spent reading it the more it felt like one of those ‘see, disabled people can also do things and be capable’ stories complete with a fucking “But it is I who have been blind” (literal quote, kill me now). And this shit is from 2003. On the plus side though, there’s plenty of quality wher content and the kids are fun when the writers aren’t on their little Not A Soapbox.

Overall, a 6/10, if someone wrote an anosmiac character this way I’d want their head on a stick no matter how badass they were.

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

So it’s still letting me play DbD even though the thing ran out on the 8th. I don’t know why but I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth. I don’t have to spend money that I don’t have.

It’s a Hag. I’m Feng Min. We’re both short af and at this really high loop where I could only see her red stain to gauge how to act. And I slam the pallet on her and run around the corner of the loop, hoping she’ll stay to break it so while she’s momentarily distracted, I can Urban Evade away. She does! I do! It works like a charm! I’m like 10 feet away behind a tree now, watching her circle the same loop over and over trying to find me! It’s great!

IstG, every fucking person I’ve played with, who plays as Felix, ends up being the biggest fucking coward and IDK why!

So I’m doing the Unbreakable, Flip Flop, Boil Over, and Sprint Burst build. I get the Autohaven map with the small building on the one side that’s got 2 doors and like a million windows. And it’s a Trapper who apparently wants a Basement Game. And the Basement is in that building that has all these windows and doors to trap up. Fun! Well, any sane person knows that if you get Chased by the killer, don’t go near the Basement because it’s harder for everyone if you get put down there. So I lead him away. He gets me downed on the other side of the map, pauses to hit someone, breaks the pallet they threw down, damages their Gen, and then picks me up. He has Iron Grasp, Agitation, and Mad Grit. Boil Over is the direct foil to Iron Grasp so this is useful for me. Also, I was Recovered on the ground, thanks to Unbreakable, about 95%, so Flip Flop set my wiggle bar at around 45% already. I managed to wiggle off before we even got to the trapped building, and then Sprint Burst back to the other side of the map. This exact same scene repeated 3 more times before the last time I actually managed to Unbreakable off the ground and Sprint Burst away because he got distracted by the other 3 dudes. It was a long ass game but we all Escaped. I didn’t do that build for the rest of the day because all that wiggle hurt my hand.

Got a Ghost Face with an Ebony Mori. I pohotobomb his first Mori and then run. He Hits me but I stun him and he loses me in Chase. He downs and Hooks the other 3 no problem. So I ended up photobombing his 3rd Mori and then just standing there because I’m not putting in that much effort for the Hatch when I’m already Injured. We crouch and have a stare off. Then he PMs me with a screenie of me photobombing him! He downs me, lets me wiggle off when we can’t find Hatch, so I point to a Hook and let him Hook me. He photobombs my death! I sent him the screenshot! He was funny.

So many Trappers today wtf?

Got a Leatherface who DCs because everyone else was running him around and whenever he’d down me, I’d go to the same corner of the map. My build was all about wiggling out as fast as possible. Boil Over concealed the location of the nearest Hooks to him so he didn’t know where to go the first time and dropped me before I could wiggle off so he could go check. I Recovered to 99% and Meg gets me up and I flee while she runs him. I Heal up the other Meg who then Heals me. I go back to that corner since my gen wasn’t done. Repeat but wiggle off this time. Go back to that far corner. He abandons me to Chase someone else and while I’m almost done with my Gen, he rage-quits.

Ran a Rank 1 Hillbilly for fucking ever. Wasted every pallet on the map in the process but the last 4 Gens got done in that time so that’s okay I guess. He curved me real good at the end though so I sent him a GG even though i died. And dude was telling his chat that his curving isn’t good! Liek fuck man, you got me at an impossibel angle.

Got a Clown using all Clown Perks and Sloppy Butcher. And I was wondering why Healing was taking so fucking long cuz I didn’t know what Coulrophobia did! And even with that BS, I still managed to Escape at the end because he left me dying on the ground in front of a 3/4 open door. So while he went to Hook the last dude, I got myself up and opened the Gate and gtfo!

So I forgot that I was Readied Up because I had an emergency involving the time of the month. I rush to the bathroom and take care of business, realize what I did, and rush back. I’ve gotten into a match and have 3 crows. Pyramid Head just found me. Somehow we got that match to last 20 minutes, and I still managed to Escape despite being Hooked first and being downed in the doorway. Dude was camping one Gen super hard because two distracted him there. I did the last on the other side of the map.

Got a lot of fucking Swamps today(Monday). Sick of them and spawning in the same fucking place each time. The felled tress are pissing me off since the one side of the one map is just loaded with them.

Played some great matches with Twitch streamers today(and I followed them). 

Got 4 matches in a row where I used the same fucking Key in each one. When there’s a streamer in the lobby, I check if they’re streaming and listen in to their side of events. Helps me perform much better so that they don’t have make weird gestures that I won’t understand. 

I once got a chick was giggling at me teabagging her in greeting and she told her chat she wished Claudette would get in her face and have a stare down so she can screenshot how weird it looks. So I got off the Gen and did so. “Wait, can she hear me?” I nodded very slowly. “Claudeet, turn clockwise and then teabag once.” I did so. “OMG! Are you watching the stream while we play?” I nodded again. “Awesome!” I just took orders from her for the whole round and we both managed to Escape. No one else did but does that matter?

Dude #3 was streaming with his 2 friends, and dude #1 was like, ‘saw the Hatch by the one door’. And I run over there and teabag over it with my Key. ‘Holy shit she’s got a key! Get over here! Claudette, Heal me!’ So I did. Dude #2 got downed. ‘Let’s go save him.’ So we did. We each took Hits do he couldn’t get Hooked and then lead all the way back to the Hatch and got the 4-man Escape. 

So I fucked with a Huntress super hard! She went to Hook Bill, and I was following with Breakout. I box her in against the left side of the Hook just cuz I wanted to see if it would work. It did! She wasn’t far enough away to get the prompt so she just turned side to side madly while he wiggled. He got free and I’m crouched in the grass so she didn’t even notice me as she goes to Chase him again. He gets downed and brought back to the same Hook and I morph out of the grass to box her in again! He wiggles out. I was going to do it the third time but she went to a new Hook and I wanted to see if I can trick her into thinking this one Hook is glitched or some shit. So I save him with Borrowed Time and she immediately comes back to tunnel him. He runs her for a Gen and gets downed by that first Hook. Again. I appear like a phantom of the bog and box her in for a third time! In the middle of her mad spinning, the game ends. She rage-quit! I should feel bad but I don’t. It was funny. Also, tunneling Bill the whole fucking match is just shitty. Like, she hard ignored people whose asses he practically groped in passing while in Chase.

I load in to a lobby with a swf group. 2 of them send me party invites so I take the plunge. My mic on my headphones wasn’t working and I had enough time to tell them that before the game started. I had no time to switch headphones. We did good. One was like, ‘we send them a friend request, they’re good. Rank 4 means they play a lot’. So they each send me a request and I accept. I swap headphones and we can finally talk. And no one was threatened by the fact that I’m a girl who is ranked higher than them! ^-^

Dude jinxed us my saying ‘what if it’s a Spirit on The Game?’ and that’s what happened!

My first match with them.

^I just wanted to see if Sprint Burst out the top window could get me onto this thing and it worked!

[iamwhoiamtmblr]

Title: Remember Who You Are

Story Rating: Chapter 20 - PG-13    Only 1 chapter left!! Warnings: Violence, Swearing, Angst

Relationships: Nomad Steve Rogers x Female Reader or Steve Rogers x Female Reader (Depends on your definition of him)

Master List - Link to Other Chapters

(Captain America photos property of Marvel)

***My work is to not be posted on any other site without my permission. If you see it anywhere other than Tumblr please inform me***

All characters are property of Marvel

The Avengers were in the conference room discussing what they found. They couldn’t believe that this woman even existed. It all made sense; Barnes, the keychain, Crossbones. “She wants to hurt Steve, she thinks Rogers killed her father.” (Thor) “Crossbones wants Steve dead.” (Wilson) Coulson entered the room. “Only info was a woman in pj’s. She was seen going into a bathroom. She looked nervous, some even saying sad.” (Coulson). “Any idea where she was going?” (Fury) “The clerk said she was going to Maine.” (Coulson) “Maine?” (Nat) “What?” (Tony) “Steve has a cabin in Maine.” (Nat) “He does?” (Bruce) “Did Steve take her there?” (Scott) “I don’t know, maybe?” (Nat) “Why is Y/N going there? Maybe she remembers something about it.” (Hawkeye) “It’s the best info we have right now.” (Fury) “Get Steve” (Wilson) “Friday, where’s Captain Rogers?” (Fury) “Captain Rogers is no longer in the complex. He left in a Quinjet 20 mins ago.” “Steve already figured it out, he knows where she is!” (Wanda) They all looked at each other. “THAT’S IT, LET’S GO! NOW! (Fury) The team ran down to the airfield, Tony and Rhodes went to get their suits. They hoped they would get there in time.

“We’re almost there Mistress.” (Pilot) “We’re picking up life-signs near the area where she was reported.” (Crossbones) “Excellent!” (Sin) The Winter Soldiers were sitting in the back of the jet, staring into space. No life in their eyes. They were even creeping out the other members of the Skeleton Crew in the jet. They stayed away from them. “I hope Fennhoff did his job right. Will they respond?” (Crossbones) “We’ll see!” Sin smiled. “Mistress, there is another jet in the area, just a few minutes ahead of us” (Pilot) “Might be Rogers, if we figured out where she is he would too.” (Crossbones) “Faster Pilot!!” (Sin)

Steve landed the jet near the cabin. He jumped out and started towards the cabin seeing the smoke from the fireplace. “She’s here.”   “Y/N??” (Steve is screaming at the top of his lungs!) You had been asleep on the bed. You awoke from the sound of the jet and now someone was yelling. You pause as your head was hurting worse.  Looking out the window, you see the man who told you he loves you running toward the cabin. You open the door starting out towards him.

GUNFIRE!! Mistress’s jet flies above, shooting at Steve and you!! “GET DOWN Y/N!!!” (Steve) “OH SHIT!!” You dive behind the woodpile.

Crossbones and the soldiers exit the jet that just landed. The soldiers find you behind the woodpile and drag you out immobilizing you. The others surround and hold Steve at gun point. “Son of a Bitch!! Crossbones! What are you doing here??” (Steve)

“We’re after Y/N. She was our guest for so long and it was rude of her to leave without saying Good-bye!” “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH HER!!” (Steve)

“Before I kill you, I would like to introduce someone to you, Steve - My Mistress.” A woman exits the jet with 3 Winter Soldiers behind her. The woman has red hair, very tall, her face was a bit distorted, dressed in black with a hydra pin on her lapel.

“Who the hell are you?” “My name is Sin, otherwise known as Sinthea Schmidt.” “WTF, Schmidt??” “Yes Captain Rogers, Schmidt. You know my father, Johann Schmidt. The Red Skull.” She sneered at him. Steve couldn’t believe his ears. “You murdered my father, you BASTARD!” “I didn’t - The Tesseract destroyed him!”

“I don’t believe you! He was the only family I had. You killed him in that jet! I’m going to destroy you Rogers! My adopted mother told me! You took my father from me! Now I will take someone you love from you! Pity Barnes didn’t die like I expected but don’t worry, we’ll get him too.”  (Sin)

Sin approaches slowly Steve – “How does it feel knowing that the woman you love will be torn apart in front of you?”

“I’LL TEAR YOU BOTH LIMB FROM LIMB!!!” (Steve)

Crossbones laughs! “I’ll finally have my revenge against you Rogers! You ruined my life! You’ll die for it; I can’t wait to take your head!”

The Winter Soldiers starts to walk towards you; their eyes devoid of life.

“Убей (Y/N), я приказываю тебе.”  (Kill (Y/N), I command you)  - Sin

They turn and look at her and nod their heads. The soldiers grabbed Steve push and hold him to the ground. Steve tries to fight back, but there’s too many of them. “Over here you fucking assholes!! Come get me!!” Steve is struggling to get free. “Y/N run!!” “I can’t!”  The soldiers are holding you down! “Let me go!” (You)

Steve tries to fight his way through the soldiers to get to you; fists flying through the air, taking them down as fast as he can! There’s way too many! His heart is racing in his chest!! His adrenaline is flowing!! He starts to fight off the onslaught of soldiers!!

The Avengers arrive at the scene nearby as not alert anyone to their presence. They carefully stake out the area.

“I will leave you alive with the memory of the Winter Soldiers killing the woman you love. Feeling the pain I went through when I lost my father.” “WHAT??” (Crossbones) “Don’t worry! Barnes will die too!” “Barnes is in a coma, he’s supposed to be dead!! I want Rogers dead. You agreed that I was supposed to kill him!” (Crossbones) “No! Change in plans.” “WTF??!!” “Remember I’m in charge!” (Sin) She turns and shoots Crossbones in the leg. He falls back on the ground. “Fuck!” (Crossbones)

The team is horrified at what they see. You’re being held down and Steve is surrounded by the soldiers trying to fight them off. The 3 Winter Soldiers are approaching you.

You close your eyes expecting to die. “no please…..” you say softly, tears in your eyes. Steve is panicking and trying to fight back!!

Sin is grinning from ear to ear. She starts to laugh. “This was worth the wait! Father, I will have my revenge!”

“We need a plan of attack!” (Tony) “What? Who? How? When?” (Wilson) “NOW!!” (Bruce)

Bruce runs, transformers into the Hulk and charges toward the 2 of the Winter Soldiers, hitting them so hard they fly into the woods. The rest of the Avengers launch their attack! Thor throws his hammer at the 3rd knocking him into the woodpile. Scott grows and runs towards their jet, grabbing it, stopping it from taking off. Tony, Rhodes and Wilson attack the soldiers surround Steve. Vision & Hawkeye charge the soldiers holding you down; you finally manage to get away. 

Through the fighting, Crossbones manages to stager up and takes a shot at Rogers. You see this and run and jump in front of him. You’re hit in the abdomen! You slump to the ground. “NNNNOOOO!!!” Steve screams!!

Sin is in shock!! “Damn it! Where did they come from??” Sin turns and tries to escape but she’s punched in the face and falls to the ground. “Bitch! That’s for hurting my friends!”  (Nat) Sin tries to pull a gun. “Don’t you dare!” Wanda holds her down with her powers.

Fury is running towards Crossbones. Crossbones frustrated with the situation, takes another shot, this time at Sin, hitting her in the side while she’s on the ground. “AAAAHHHH FUCK!!!”

“What did you do that for?” (Fury) “Fucking bitch!! She wouldn’t let me kill Rogers!” (Crossbones) Crossbones tries to get up – Fury gets ready to shoot him but Tony punches him into the jet with a loud thud! “Damn that felt good!” (Tony)

Steve is sobbing holding you in his arms. “Why did you do that?” (Steve) “You’re the one that loves me.” You touch his cheek and black out. “Y/N!! Don’t leave me!” Steve hand is covered in blood trying to stop the bleeding. Tony runs to Steve. “Let me take her, I can get here there faster than the jet.” Steve lets you go reluctantly; tears are streaming down his cheeks.

“Let’s go!” he says softly. He takes off with you in his arms. Rhodes accompanies him. All you feel is the cold air. You open your eyes briefly and see you’re flying. Tony looks at you and tells you to “Hang on! We’re almost there!”

In record time you’re back at the compound; you’re received by the medical team waiting for you to arrive. You are whisked away into surgery. Tony and Rhodes breathe a sign off relief. “It’s in their hands now!”

Back at the cabin, the captured soldiers are loaded into the 2 jets. Hawkeye is flying Steve’s jet with the captured soldiers, Wilson, Vision and Scott watch over them along with the 3 Winter Soldiers who are unconscious.  Thor’s flying the other (Sin’s) with Crossbones and Sin; the Hulk is guarding both of them.

The rest of the team loads into their jet. “Will she be ok?” (Nat whispers) “Don’t know”, she was hit in the abdomen. (Fury) Everyone turns to look at Steve. He’s sobbing in the back. Nat tries to comfort him. “It’s over Steve! We got her back.” (Nat) “No it’s not! She doesn’t remember me and she’s been shot!!!”

Wanda sits in front of him on the floor of the jet. She carefully takes his hands. “Steve, she must have remembered something about you. She came here and she saved you from getting shot. Don’t give up. Her memory is still in there. You’re still a part of her, somewhere in her mind.”

You’ve been shot and according to Steve this couldn’t get any worse! “All I wanted was to love her.” He whispers.

“Steve, you’ve both been through a lot.” (Fury) “I……could still lose her.”

“Tony just radioed in she’s in surgery right now as we speak.” (Coulson) Fury sits down beside Steve. Nat is still sitting with Steve and Wanda’s still holding his hands.

The rest of the ride back to the compound is in silence, except for Steve’s sobbing. No one knows what else to say.  “Please don’t leave me Y/N” Steve whispers.

ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT!

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The following are links to the characters used in the story: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sin_(Marvel_Comics) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_Night_(comics) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Skull https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_Faustus_(comics)

----------------------------------------------------------------------- Reblogs are welcome 😀 as is Feedback!

[jelloopy]

Murder on The Rockport Limited Notes

Previous: Character Creation, HtbG, Moonlighting

Ch 1

Robbie is a halfling who is pretty shitty but he’s good at making “potions” (Robbie is the roommate that everyone really hates but doesn’t want him to leave because he is their plug)

Taako is on the top bunk, Magnus is under Taako, Robbie is next to Taako and Merle is under Robbie

They are woken up at 3 am to report to Lucretia (3 am really?)

”Yeah it’s like Mario Mario or Luigi Mario” ~Griffin (This is so funny because this actually proves that Taako’s last name really is Taaco. Before Justin played it as a joke but this kinda derails that)

Robbie asks them for Pringles when they leave (Thus the beginning of me and the boys not remembering him by anything other than Pringles)

They arrive in their PJs (Taako is in footie pajamas and Merle’s has a flap in at the butt with a Kenny Chesney tattoo on his ass) (When the hell did Merle get that tattoo. Also, why is Lucretia in her full BoB garb right now? Was she asleep and get changed really quickly? Do her robes double as PJ’s? Did she just not go to sleep?)

Taako says he gets night terrors that’s why he’s in like a full-body Onesie/sleeping bag (That is so fricking sad if you think about his backstory later on…)

Magnus just starts changing clothing right then and there when Lucretia tells them that they don’t have time to get ready (This man really has no shame or boundaries. I imagine it was the same in the century tbh)

Leimann Kessler (half-elf man) was murdered before he was even on the train but was able to secure the Relic on the train (Personally, don’t know a lot about how trains work but this to me is kinda odd. Who knew he died? Do their bracers know when the wearer perishes? Is there like a body temp check and a pulse check in there too? We know that it can track them but… how much more can it do…)

All the relics come from a different school of magic. They were never in the hands of someone long enough to learn what they are capable of (Potentially this is a lie. We would have already known the names, schools of magic, and possibly what they could do based upon that alone. I bet Lucretia is hiding that info in her office)

The Gauntlet deals with Evocation magic (Hmmm, I can only imagine why. Maybe because Lup also worked in Evocation magic?)

Avi is manning the cannon! The whole scene with Magnus High as hell. Avi Never learned how to Wink (Avi you’re adorable I love you. Magnus. Get your shit together man.)

Taako pulls the lever too early and they change trajectory into a swamp

Leech fight! (I honest to god forgot this even happened before listening to it again. Not my fave fight)

Ch 2

Merle gets a lot of blood sucked from him by the leeches

Merle is completely submerged in the swamp and Magnus pulls his ass out (Why is it always Merle)

”Scientists have yet to agree” ~Griffin (I personally use this phrase all the time. It just makes me laugh so hard every time.)

Taako can levitate (I really wished he used this more ngl. I would also like to see some more fanart of this)

They are in Rockport! Covered in swamp shit!

Tom Beaudette! We see his house and they get hosed off then they see him at the ticket station again. (What a nice guy!)

Leimann, Diddly, and Justin Kessler (10/10 best alias’ ever)

Taako Charms Tom (It’s a nice go-to huh?)

Merle really wants to murder tom he wanted him to step in front on the train (Merle really is the one who goes straight for murder)

Ch 3

Hudson, Jess the Beheader, Graham Juicy Wizard, ANGUSSSSSSSS, and Jenkins McShittywizard (My favorite train gang!)

Travis making fun of Griffin for how he needs to sleep with 100000000 pillows (I cherish all of these out of character bits where they really just dog on one another)

Angus, my sweet summer child don’t talk to strangers. We know your grandfather’s name was long forgotten even though you’re going to visit him in Never Winter.

The boys legit think Angus is evil and Griffin yells at them bc they are being racist. (1- how are they being legit racist? You haven’t introduced anything about Angus’ race at all?) (2- Jesus he is only 10 years old my dudes)

Graham is 36 years young and is crazy obsessed with trains and his real name is Percy? He is shadowing Jenkins in hopes of learning more about working on a train

Taako from TV! (And so his legend begins!)

Ch 4

Jenkins is harnessing a limited version of teleportation magic

Angus calling the boys out on their bullshit

Taako calling Angus “pumpkin” (Literally melts my heart. I wish someone called me cute nicknames. Also, Taako hasn’t even talked to this kid that much and that name is reoccurring)

Angus has a nondescript blue book that is able to intercept messages sent through magical means (Where did this child get this book and who let him keep it? This is legit just like letting children under 13 have access to the unrestricted internet. It’s literal Hell)

The bit with Angus and “PRYING EYES AND EARS!” (uh foreshadowing my guy)

They find “Jenkins” Dead body after hearing Graham scream

Merle is able to identify a lot of things by looking at the body (It still scares me that he is technically a Physician.)

Angus pulls a small CROSSBOW OUT OF HIS SLEEVE? (Where did he get this, how did he keep it from Hudson, Why the fuck does he have it)

Angus really said “you guys run I’ll get rid of him!” and grabs Graham and runs (How strong is this child. He’s legit lifting and pulling a grown-ass man without help)

”I’m following Angus I’ll see yall in hell!” ~Taako (Yes follow the badass 10-year old please)

”I wanna tell you about the time about this time there were three ogres…”~Taako

The Foley work bit and then Griffin just snapping “The train derails and you all die” (Another out of character goof that I cherish)

”I shit and take 14 damage” ~Griffin (are you okay? How much health do you have? What’s your max HP dude?)

Taako makes the Crab monster Levitate

Magnus punched the crab monster out of the window and it got scrapped up on the side of the train

Ch 5

They follow the Crab into their sleeper car and Magnus attacks with a chair and Griffin says “I imagine because you are so skilled at carpentry that you’ve had to attack someone with a chair before so you are in fact proficient in this attack”

Jess comes in and finishes the crab off with her Soul bound ax that she can conjure at any time (This legit just means that Jenkins did not need to carry her ax to the crypt safe. She let him do it for shits n giggles. We stan)

Jess got her last name legally changed to “Beheader” and Magnus says that he got his legally changed to “The Hammer” (Really Magnus… this isnt 3rd grade stop trying to impress her. It’s that or it could be another sad reference to “Hammer and Tongs” which would mean Julia was “Tongs” D: that is so depressing and cute)

Magnus and Merle are making good progress in solving the murder

”Alright lads” “oh fuck” When Merle keeps up his disguise as Leimann Kessler (It’s so funny because his fake Leimann Kessler is just his current Argonaut Keen.)

”I cast ZONE OF TRUTH” “Jesus you’re like a zone of truth cleric” (Oh honey. This is just the beginning)

Magnus wakes Graham up with a 5% smack with his left hand and then a 6.5% smack also with his left hand (Wtf is this BNHA? Alright Deku)

Taako is an Alcoholic? (He keeps asking for a drink ...This is a bit concerning but it makes sense)

Magnus slaps Graham again with 7.2% and he popped something in Graham’s jaw and he begins screaming but Merle heals him (OKAY DEKU COOL IT MY GUY)

”I wanna be a guy... with a head!” ~” Hudson” (hehe foreshadowing)

SCUTTLE BUDDY!!!!! (A short but adorable life you have my Lil man)

Ch 6

The “fisticuffs” scene with Taako and Angus (Now this is really concerning considering his backstory. I know it’s a joke because of how many people they accidentally kill all the time but like dude… little do you know…)

Angus leading them through the mystery is so cute. But also you know its Griffin trying to get his family to really think it through and I love it. (It really makes my heart really full to hear Griffin get really excited when they figure it out slowly instead of mocking them when they guess wrong)

MERLE YES! MAGNUS YES! YOU’RE GETTING IT! YOU’RE SO CLOSE! (Teamwork makes the dream work baby!)

Magnus jumps out of the train and Griffin gets really serious and gives him the “if you fail this you will actually die” speech (This coupled with the fight scene that Magnus accidentally skipped and the fact that originally Travis did want Magnus to die so he could re-roll a rogue is so wild)

Magnus is gonna become a wrecking ball Jesus (very Magnus-core)

Hell yeah, Magnus! Knock the meat monster into Jenkins!!

Magnus gets hit for 10 points at 1hp and paries it for 10 points! (Top ten anime near-death experiences)

Jenkins threatens to kill the meat monster. Horribly misses then is thrown off the fucking train by the meat monster (Get fucked wrecked Jenkins that’s what you get for being cocky!)

Ch 7

They find the dousing rod compass that Jenkins was using and find the monocle (Pirates of the Caribbean much?)

Taako grabs The Oculus because he has escaped the thrall of a relic before

It tells him that it can make anything he can imagine (This is really interesting tbh)

The Umbrastaff eATS JENKINS WAND!!! and a Lil sigil appears on the handle of the staff that also looks like an umbrella (Lup gets fed lmao. Don’t really understand the Sigil appearing tho. It doesn’t come up any other time I don’t think so it’s cool)

Taako grabs the teleport wand thing and asks everyone to leave and he grabs a bunch of shit from the Cryptsafe pile (Very Taako-core)

They make it to the engineer’s room and Graham tries to slow the train down but he can’t

Taako wanted to open the gate to Never Winter to Phandalin but they change it to Jenkins’ garden because it needs to be a room with “one entrance” (Solid idea on Taako’s part. If it were to work no one would have been hurt)

Taako pushed Angus off the train and he looses two teeth (This man pushed a whole child off the train… ‘Ight)

Magnus dies by jumping off the train (Top ten anime death scenes)

Taako successfully opens the gate into Jenkin’s garden and the train crashes into the garden

Magnus is stabilized by Merle (Awe so the Cleric can do his job!)

Angus gives them pringles for Robbie and the compass. Taako gives Angus one of the forks from his grandfather’s set.

They go to a nearby Never Winter Clinic to get patched up

Out of character, they choose to work on voices and Griffin calls them out bc he’s been doing 8 “different” voices and Clint goes “Yeah try doing that for 40 years” get fuckin rOASTED Ditto! (Also Griffin I love you but like 3 of the voices were the exact same and 2 were so similar it wasn’t funny. Don’t get me wrong different voices aren’t my strong suit either but ya did give it your best shot so.)

We goin’ back to the moon baby!

AVI MY MAIN MAN! (I will forever and always want and need more Avi screen time)

The oculus works with illusory magic (Which is very interesting bc I know it was made by Davenport because he also worked in allusory magic but I don’t ever remember him using any magic… who knows maybe he has and I just never realized)

Lucretia thought they were gonna get it off the train before it left... woman… (You’ve known these men for how long and you thought they were gonna w h a t?)

Next: Lunar Interlude I, 

[tabletopjourneys]

Session 29 Notes

Completing fae deals and sailing out to sea with magic whales and a fortune in ambergris. Tags: @aradow @gher-bear @telurin @epimetal

On this day we successfully trick our way into completing Ixayl’anu’s bargain with Diem’s patron without having to fight anything. Said patron then immediately turns around to have Diem hold on to the item retrieved for awhile - the chaotic deck of many things. Diem and Ixayl’anu then deliver the fungus sample and make arrangements for possibly more samples and by-journal communications with the fungus expert, Professor Whitskey. Afterwards, we all set sail the next day for Anesh to continue our main quest. On the voyage, we encounter weirdness that includes a vanishing crew member and a group of whales doing ancient singing magics alongside and under the ship for a part of the voyage. It doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the meteors though. Ixayl’anu helps us discover and haul in some ambergris that’s gonna be worth tons of $$$$.   *Details below the “Keep Reading” break*

(Additional details noted before we knock on Dima’s door.) We agree that at some point while we’re all in the room, Phi found a good time  to tell us about Averni being run by vampires. This will possibly get threaded into a previous notes session if I find a good place. Either way, it happened.

Phi would have also told us during fae deal planning that Dima is a follower of Selune the moon goddess and that he’s pretty much not very tolerant/caring about other religions/gods/goddesses

Together we all figure out what Selune’s about, slightly a trickster (but not really the aspect Dima follows), for sailors, the moon and the night, etc.

(The visit with Dima - ‘Waiting Room’)

Ixayl’anu walks up to the door, Alfred the butler opens the door and looks at our ragtag bunch, spotting Phi in the back. “Yes, can I help you?”

Phi: We were wanting to talk to Dima, something’s come up.

Butler: Mr. Lenkov is in a meeting with Aristin Pilwickin (cousin 2nd removed) currently, but you can certainly come in and wait until they are done.

Phi: Yes it’s that important, we can wait.

Rest of us: Yeah we’re okay with waiting.

Phi: How’s it going Alfred? 

Al: *steps back opens door, responds*

Phi continues making small talk.

As we walk past the doors down the long hallway, past the doubledoors Phi gets whispered what’s going on because she’s the only one with perception for it and on high alert.

The exterior walls are def stone, but interior walls are plastered wood slats (a note for Rana)

As we reach the room we’re ushered to we see a scholarly blue and white dragonborn and fucked up gnome chick, not related to Phi, def looks like she had a hard life, low London rough and tumble accent.

Phi parses this as odd because she doesn’t really ever see these two together and they were both doing whispery voiced arguing that clams up when we enter.

Gnome lady stays quiet

Payton (scholarly dragonborn): Ah, leaf pick, haven’t seen you in awhile.

Rana gives Phi a confused look because this is like name #15

He’s one of the more stable potion makers of the group (Payton) soooome minor enchantments

Phi: Hey! How ya doin, Payton?

Rana and Diem hug the wall together not feeling great about the group’s chances in this situation.

Phi and Payton have awkward chitchat.

Phi gives Bamfina Lockley (the rough and tumble London gnome) a nod: Hey.

Lockley gives her a cool look in response, something of a glare.

Payton glazes over that about how great it’s going, lots of shipments and good time for working on my projects.

Phi: Have you heard anything about the weird meteors we’ve been having, lots of sciencey people talking about that?

Payton: I have seen them but I’ve been really busy this past week so I haven’t been...why have you heard anything?

Phi: We were talking to some people at the university and it just sounded pretty crazy, right?

Payton: *quetioning look* I didn’t realize you were so interested in astronomy

Phi: New hobby of mine, been spending a lot of time outdoors looking up at the sky and it’s just become fascinating to me.

Neither Payton nor Bamfina look like they know what to do with that.

Payton takes interest in Phi’s friends, we briefly greet back.

Phi asks if they’re waiting to see Dima

No

Oh we’re just gonna go in then

Lockley stroms off

Rana: Bye!

Phi’s cousin walks out from a door in the side hall on the east wall. “Oh, Selphina! I haven’t seen you in forever!”

Phi: Oh, hey *nickname for level 2 familiarity* Small chitchat in the hall about wishing their loved ones well follows.

He gives the rest of us a wtf are these people doing here look as he goes by but Diem doesn’t even notice him until he’s already past them while Rana tries to start obviously awkward conversation with Payton after Phi dropped him like a hot potato. (The meeting with Dima)

Phi knocks on door where Dima is waiting.

Dima: Enter

Phi peeks in “I brought my friends with me this time, is it okay if they come in?”

Dima gives her a look: It’s better than having them in the hall.

It’s a cozy little office with french doors leading into a garden/well area. 20x30 office

Diem comes all the way in and crosses with Phi to the french door area to allow room for Rana and Ixayl’anu, then sits in the chair on that side of the office.

Dima thinks this is unusual that Phi’s brought people in, but she’s not in trouble for it. He casually closes his books and sets them aside as we come in.

Dima: Phi what is this about, I thought we’d spoken earlier?

Phi: Yeeeeah, but it turns out my friends realized they have something to talk to *you* about and so I brought them here to talk about it.

Dima: Interesting *makes go on hand gesture*

Ixayl’anu: (rolls a 10 on persuasion) and she says something to the effect of “I’m on a mission from Selune, and you have something she requires to complete my quest.” Dima is intrigued

Diem doesn’t think he looks intrigued enough and decides to use phantasmal force to convince Ixayl’anu Selune is now talking through her to tell this story, and hopefully Dima that it’s true/help really sell the story. Sleight of hand casting succeeds/Nobody notices Diem cast it, but Ixayl’anu makes her save enough to know what’s going on and let it happen.

Ixayl’anu then rolls a nat 20 on persuasion with the rest of the story, letting herself believe she’s possessed by Selune. Diem adds a little moonlight prestidigitation to Ixayl’anu’s eyes to really sell it. Both trickstery deities involved probably fully approved and thought this was great fun (Dima’s and Ixayl’anu’s)

Dima: Yes, Ixayl’anu, whatever you need, name it.

“Selune”: Ixayl’anu will know it when I see it through her eyes.

He leads us to the basement where there’s a sleeping black dragon it looks up and snorts.

Peace Antimony, (words I missed).

It hisses some toxic green gas and lays back down.

Dima leads us around. “This is just general storage, but I’ve got a vault down here.”

Rana and Phi have been flabbergasted. We all stand back and just act like we’re not interested in snooping. 

1st item: metal globe with protection runes “thaumaturge’s orb.”

2nd item: A staff with a golden hand at the end with one finger extended “Staff of Midas”

3rd item: Multi-faced star-shaped cut glass/shimmery crystal reflecting light in prismy way “The sky crystal focus” about the size of a basketball.

4th item: Beautiful finely made silver circlet with a large multi-faceted, mostly purple gemstone in the middle with 3 little motes of light that float around it in diff shifting colors “Arcanist’s Circlet”

5th item: A tiny hummingbird out of enamel or jade, in flight “Valonte’s vitalium”

6th item: Another orb, jet black with 2 copper bands runes carved into the orb. “Orb of passage”

7th item: A sword longsword with kind of twisted metal and hilt is standard wrapped hilt that merges into the base of the blade like grasping vines, cross blade is thorny “constrictor blade”

8th item: Just looks like a deck of fine playing cards, kinda plain. “The Deck of Many Things”

9th item: Amulet on a jeweler’s bust, inside is a beautiful topaz (yellow), large cut to shine brilliant, around it 2 sphinx’s and a four winged angel on top with sunrays behind it. It looks very ornate. “The Sunheart medallion.”

If Rana was looking she might be able to say more about it, but she isn’t.

Dima: I did just acquire this as well. 

*shows wine decanter sized crystal vial with a metallic, shimmering in all the colors kaleidoscopic liquid, I’m not exactly sure what this does yet, I haven’t had it identified, but it may also be what you seek.

Arcana check of 22 to see if I know any stories about the item names: Enough to Cross off staff of midas, volantes vitaleum, and constrictor blade.

Diem manages to sleight of hand cast message to share not these 3, but my patron said you would know it when you see it, so maybe...communicate with your god in front of each one or something? “You can respond to this message”

Ixie: Maaaybe.

Rolling a d6 at a 5 (for where she’s drawn): Ixie narrows it down to the skycrystal focus, the arcanist circlet, and the deck of many things.

Ixayl’anu tries to use divine sense in front of the 3. It doesn’t tell her any more.

She’s doing the slow loop around the room kinda thing, holding a hand out, dowsing rod kinda passing each one. Loops back around to the deck, decisively points at the deck “That one.”

Dima: Yeah, that completely makes sense, let me unlock that for you.

Phi rolls investigation to see if there’s a magic component to these keys or anything. As he puts in the key and turns it there’s a faint puff of coloured magic smoke that comes out, and she knows it’s just like a simple alarm spell - it would make a noise to alert something or someone elsewhere. Takes out the deck and hands it to Ixayl’anu.

Phi notices the back of these cards is an exact match to the card she’s been carrying. Dima’s deck is complete, Phi got it within a year, but not from Dima. Meta info none of us realize: Vizier: At any time you choose within one year of drawing this card, you can ask a question in meditation and mentally receive a truthful answer to that question. Besides information, the answer helps you solve a puzzling problem or other dilemma. In other words, the knowledge comes with Wisdom on how to apply it.

Ixayl’anu tries to give him a good faith I know it’s not enough token of 100gold

Dima: No, this is between us and the deities. (but he appreciates the gesture)

Ixayl’anu: May her light shine on you.

Dima: And you as well.

We don’t linger and follow Phi out.

He invites us to a drink after with some chitchat. With as little detail as possible and as much truth as possible (not sure what I meant by this statement lol). We get very good bourbon.

Charisma check for how Dima views each of us moving forward: Rana 15, Ixayl’anu 15, Diem: 10, Phi: nat 20 (22 total).

Level up!

We go back to the inn and Rana buys us dinner.

We talk about when we’re doing the professor meeting and will they meet us at night.

We both are like as soon as possible, but we’ll say it’s an emergency.

Rana exchanges a look with Phi.

Diem: What? Wait did you guys get message while I wasn’t paying attention?

Rana: Yes. Phi tells Diem the truth though (no, we didn’t)

Diem talks about maybe appearing on the boat after it’s already set sail - they don’t know how these things work.

Rana: Won’t the captain have questions?

Diem: Well we’re already paid for so it’s not like we’d be stowaways.

Rana and Phi talk about how mad her mentor might be, they talk about not knowing it wasn’t an actual message from Selune and what if Dima finds out. Rana doesn’t for a moment believe Selune was involved. 

Phi: That won’t be explained until the future either and if a catastrophe was averted by then it could make him less mad.

Rana: Let’s hope it was worth it.

Phi: Yeah, let’s take it one day at a time. Cross that bridge when we come to it.

Rana: Let’s just hope we don’t burn that bridge.

*cut to Diem and Ixayl’anu for a deal’s a deal scenes*

Diem does as last time, with the sense Ahrune heard.

Ahrune pops in “That was fast, what have you brought for me?”

Diem: We may have convinced him it was ordained by his goddess.

Ahrune: More interesting than what I had in mind.

Ixayl’anu *huffy*: It wasn’t exactly clear, but I brought you these.

Ahrune: *examines them* Yes, these will do quite nicely *hands them over to Diem* Why don’t you hold on to these for me.

Diem: *thanks in shock*

Ahrune makes us a door directly to the guy, and hands Diem a return portal orb to the inn when we’re done. “Forgive me if I don’t want to stick around for this part.” *disappears*

*Diem tucks the cards into their inner suit pocket before following Ixayl’anu through the door.*

As soon as we walk in he looks up: Oh! Hello I didn’t...office hours are closed!

Ixayl’anu: Forgive the intrusion but I need to talk to you.

Whitskey: You don’t look like one of my students…?

Ixayl’anu: No we haven’t met before, I have an unusual question...well...maybe *looks at all the vials of fungus and thinking maybe not* Wondering if maybe you can identify something for me.

I’m given to understand you’re professor Whitskey?

Whitskey: Yep that’s me.

Ixayl’anu: Do you...I think this question is self evident but do you happen to study lichen and fungus and things?

Whitskey: That is my specialty

Ixayl’anu: I have a substance that I - well a group of us found recently and I was hoping you’d know more about it.

Magical lichen - you understand magical lichen very well?

Whitskey: Yes do you have one you want me to identify?

Ixayl’anu digs in her pack and pulls out the vial to hand over

Diem: before you open this you should know *tells about it briefly and where it was sampled from*

Whitskey: Yeah I recognized it so I wasn’t going to throw magic at it but thanks for the warning.

You said you found this in the shadowood? You’re quite far from home.

One of us: We spoke to professor Leonis he wasn’t sure if it was native here or if they came with the meteors, he kind of led us to think it was native

Whitskey: Professor Leonis, I can’t say that I’m too familiar with him but I don’t get out much. I have heard all this hullabaloo about these meteors but I didn’t realize it would have anything to do with my work.

We talk about it growing directly on the meteor.

Diem illustrates it for him.

Whitskey: Hmmm *adjusts glasses* (has very large eyes behind the glasses)

Ixayl’anu brings up the dwarf too.

Whitskey: There was a dwarf? Tell me more about this.

Diem does a 22 on telling the story again and all the details they can remember.

Whitskey looks at the lichen in the jar and studies it. His excitement continues to grow as he looks up things in books and compares, etc. 

He keeps it in the jar and he brings the mage light closer to the vial. *Diem steps back*

The lichen grows toward the source of the magic with quite a speed, spindly bits and deeper colored. Whitskey quickly separates it out again.

Whitskey: This is quite a find! This is a very...I haven’t actually seen this before!

Diem would let him know what officials in Miova know, what little they don’t, or even the local Miovan professors about this fungus and that he might want to put a team together to stress the importance of this to his local magistrates/officials/etc, asks whether it might be wise to take a protected sample back there as well.

Whitskey: If I’m correct this line is very aggressive. Transporting it could be quite problematic, we’d have to set up a containment field, quite frankly I’m surprised it stayed in this method of containment.

Diem agrees on the point of transporting it back through another, different magical door and that it’s probably best to leave the whole sample with Whitskey after all.

Diem and Ixayl’anu talk about her mission and what they can do if they encounter more of it. Whitskey gets excited about the possibility of more samples then and happily gives us containers of his own.

Tips for future encounters: Bring someone who can create a null field, anti-magic area to contain it, and it is best you get the samples when they’re small, when they’re large they have a self-fulfilling mist about them and they become quite difficult to contain. At that point it can do certain things, take over other living organisms.

Diem: Like that dwarf - oh and maybe those gnolls.

*tells him about the gnolls now too*

Whitskey: Oh yeah some cults do use them to infect themselves with various forms of these lichens to become part of their deities. Usually those cults get found and irradicated. Some small discussion about that. We find out it’s common though with known species and not necessarily tied to this new one.

Diem asks about the care of the vessels

The containers are inert until you open them and put something inside, and once you shut them they become their magical versions and he wouldn’t recommend putting them in magic holding things like bags of holding or anything like that, but near those bags is fine.

(Rana:This guy is totally going to turn out to be evil

Leonis: "I can't just hand out University materials, I'd have to get permission."

This guy: "Take my personal vials.")

We get 3 containment units.

He goes around to the other side of his table and give us a small book of sending so we can keep in touch and we can coordinate how to get samples and such back and forth.

We verify we can send warnings through and not just notes, and he will contact us too about things he learns.

How durable are the contaminants?

More durable than glass, they can break, handle them with care, don’t smash them on the floor or throw them at things. They’re made of magical pyrex. Thick enough to drop from waist height and they’ll be fine.

Whitskey: You’ve made my whole night, my whole year, I have so many things to do!

Ixayl’anu has something else she wanted to ask but can’t think of it right now.

Diem makes sure it’s okay to ask him a question in the book later if she thinks of it.

Whitskey: Oh yes, so long as it pertains to all of this.

Diem: Can this book be stored in a bag of holding?

Whitskey: Yes absolutely.

Ixayl’anu: Anything else you can think of?

Diem: Nope I think we did a pretty good job.

Ixayl’anu smashes the portal and we go back to the room we were in, taking 45 minutes total.

Rana and Ixayl’anu played with their rats. *rewind a little (to prevent potential disaster lol)*

Before we left, Phi brought up that she had a similar card to the deck we got and she tells us it’s a deck of many things that have wildly varying effects that could be really good or really bad and she knows you have to declare how many cards you want to draw and select them. She has an enchanted card to be whatever card she needs and now that she knows this it’s revealed its true nature to her so now it probably doesn’t work as intended.

Phi asks if she can see the deck and Ixayl’anu hands it over (in the velvet bag Dima had tucked them in).

She puts them face down on the table “I have one of these cards that I thought was just a trick card. I use this to turn into a different card *she tells it to change by illustration* the fact my boss had cards like this tucked in his treasure room tells me this is more than just a simple trick.”

It’s def a trickster element to it. Diem realizes they know stories about these cards (21 arcana check), gives some examples of people dying, being lost, become more powerful or rich, getting wishes granted.

Rana makes a face when the wish spell is mentioned.

Phi: Sounds super dangerous but also kind of fun

Diem: Yeah, but also the epitome of fey fun, so it makes sense why you picked that one, Ixayl’anu.

Phi: *tucks her card away and talks about getting it identified*

*Phi and Rana time while Ixayl’anu and Diem are at Whitskey’s*

Rana: So how do you and Dima know each other?

Phi: He’s the head of an organization I used to be a part of.

My family is very involved still so I kinda don’t talk about being involved with it anymore so I kinda just go off and do my own thing but Dima is one of the people who knows I don’t wanna be a part of it anymore. He makes sure I don’t get any heat from not wanting to be part of it now.

Rana: Well your sister seems nice and he seems nice

Phi: He’s NOT nice, but my sister doesn’t know much about it, she’s just a family person, focuses on that. Her job’s not so intense (I have a lot of sisters though).

Rana: What do your other siblings do? *confused*

Phi: You know

Rana: No, I don’t.

Phi: Just stuff that isn’t necessarily on the up and up, you know, like...below the law things that you may not wanna do if you have kids you gotta feed. I don’t know, she’s just a different person.

Rana: Is that why she had so many kids?

Phi: Oh no that’s just normal and they’re not all hers.

Rana: Dima did help us. Well, we tricked him into it but he really did help us.

Phi: Yeah I was actually a little surprised by that. I think he’s just very devout so I don’t think he saw an option to not help if that makes any sense?

Rana: Either way if he’s been supporting you and he’s willing to help us out, he can’t be that bad right?

Phi: Sure. I mean he’s not supporting me out of the niceness of his heart, we made a deal.

*I missed Rana’s response, sorry*

Phi: It wasn’t like a favor it was a trade

Rana: At least we’re not making deals with the fae

Phi: That’s some crazy shit right? I’d never do something like that.

*Back to the present*

Diem stores coffee can sized containers in their bag with a tight fit and takes the sending book downstairs to meet the others after we decide to tell them about the deck in addition to the meeting with the prof.

They are cuddling very fat very happy rats right now when we find them.

Diem: Good news and...interesting news.

*we tell them*

*we go over our primary goal*

We decide to let the local lawmaster know our statement too and told the front desk lady. Rana didn’t come along, she went to bed.

Diem mentioned meeting them again for breakfast because they have last night of potential company.

Phi asks about that on the way and Diem dishes about the sexy librarian with his dark teal skin. 

Ixayl’anu got a 13 on her insight check to the first story she overheard.

Contested against 23, she believed it all, but it was definitely just singing the praises of Teagan and nothing revealing at all about Diem themselves. (Insight checks were arranged after, Phi’s is yet to be determined)

(Getting on the boat)

Next day Diem doesn’t make it to breakfast but they do make it just in time.

Rana on stone: I have your stuff and bringing it with me to the boat, be there.

Diem: I’m already on my way I promise, I’ll be there soon *flying clothes on totally not already on the way*  Diem also manages to get a pearl on the way for their new identify spell.

Rana is a bit grumpy as she eats her breakfast taco

Ixayl’anu tells Rana she has something that might help, even though she seems to have a handle on water forms now *hands over water walking ring*

Rana: If you don’t mind I would like to hold on to this for the journey.

Ixayl’anu: Sure

*brusquely nods*

Diem: Oh my pack is making up, you guys <3

Rana spent all night preparing all the water spells.

Ixayl’anu dumps 4 shark teeth

Phi: What’s with that?

Ixayl’anu: It’s so we have a safe trip?

Diem: What? What’s what about?

Ixayl’anu: Don’t you have anything to give too?

Phi and Diem: No, do we need to?

Ixayl’anu looks worried and gives us shark teeth and tells us to throw them in too.

We do so and I’m totally interested in the story behind it. Tell me Ixayl’anu, pretty please!

Ixayl’anu: You just do it for safe passage from the spirits.

Clearly the guardian spirits of the ocean are the sharks. This just insures nothing that’s beyond the sailors skills will happen on this journey.

Diem talks about that being fair - no shark teeth is probably why they ended up overboard in a barrel their last trip to sea.

*Ixayl’anu hands Diem a small bag of shark teeth just in case.*

Diem: Do I dump all these in now or for later?

Ixayl’anu: Later, you shipwrecked seems you’ll need them. Diem gives a fair point shrug and happily holds on to them.

During all this talk, Rana has tossed in one of the prettier stones from her pocket and while stressing out, is looking to spot it in the water. Rana manages to spot her offering.

Phi tries to distract by asking Rana about her homeland.

Diem internally pouts over not hearing Ixayl’anu’s story about how she lost her body guards the first time around that didn’t go so well, but is also interested in stories about Rana’s homeland (and distracting her). (I think I missed some of the initial talk)

Rana: Don’t wanna be caught out in the desert without protection either from the sun, cold at night, etc.

Phi: Well you just have to trust the experts that know about the place we’re in, like we trust these experts in the ship we’re in.

Rana looks over like “I know what you’re doing” Yes we do don’t we, let’s get on this boat before I change my mind. *Throws in all her shark teeth too*

When we get on, we mostly get ignored by the crew.

(Aboard the ship, talking about Anesh, Rana sees a new animal form!)

Phi does 14 perception, few new faces, mostly the same crew. “Hey how many shark teeth did you throw in the water today?” to the one she knows to be the nicest/most tolerant.

Person looks at her with sheer incredulity “what are you talking about?” and walks away.

Phi 11 retro-active perception checks superstitious stuff among this crew, but hasn’t noticed any.

When shown their rooms, Diem asks Rana if she wants to share a room since there are only 3.

Ixayl’anu attempts to bring her elk aboard and gets a few looks from the crew, but they don’t deny her. The captain is nowhere to be seen. It can roam around 9 or put it in 12 (the actual hold). She bought elk supplies bedding/food for the trip.

On their rush to the boat, I did manage to buy a pearl because my patron tipped me off to check my spell book.

We all hang out on deck, Diem tries and fails to come up with positive ship stories to distract Rana.

Ixayl’anu asks Rana about where they’re going.

Rana rolls 14 history check: She knows it’s a port town (Farford), they do a lot of the trade that comes in from Petarus rather than overland - specialty seeds, various animals (not the metals which come from Bouldergap). She didn’t stick around too much. Before she met us she didn’t stick around anywhere very much, sold her goods and moved on.

Ixayl’anu: What’s it like in Anesh?

Rana: It’s pretty dry, it’s a desert - most of it, near the mountains you have more brushy cover. You don’t wanna go to Lake Nitron.

Phi: Why not?

Diem: What’s wrong with Lake Nitron?

Rana: It’s pretty deadly, only a few birds can survive out there it’s not really a place that you’d want to live. Sunhame is right in the middle of it all but most of the towns are either on the coastline or nearer the mountains where there’s cover.

Ixayl’anu: And that’s where your home is, up in the mountains?

Rana: Yeah, that’s where I learned all my druid craft at too

Ixayl’anu: What do your parents do?

Rana: It’s just my mom, she’s a tailor. My dad died before I was born so I can’t really tell you much about him. My brother is a blacksmith.

Sunhame is not as large as Miova but the rest of the towns are about the size of Budelia.

I’ve been to Sunhame a few times, it’s heavily religious. I spent a lot of time traveling between them all between my mom’s business and my brother’s blacksmithing. We don’t have anything like the shadowood where we’re from though, that’s a you guys thing.

Ixayl’anu: Do you have trees?

Rana: Some, a few up in the mountains scattered near them, but not a lot of them. It’s not as green, you guys have a very green country

Diem: Do you prefer it that way?

Rana: I like both places, nature exists (I missed the rest of this) yeah it’s not as green as Rethwellian but I think you guys will like it, it’s a nice place.

Ixayl’anu: I get the impression it’s really hot though

Rana: Yeah, it’s warm. It’s a desert.

(Established that Rana’s staff is made of hazel, found in the mountains.)

(I may have missed some more things. You’ve probably guessed but even when I don’t note this, it’s probably true even for conversations that seem whole.)

Rana talks until someone stops her, but we’re all on team distract Rana, so we encourage it.

We have occasionally seen the captain if we notice.

Calm sailing so far.

Ixayl’anu rolls a d20 for us for mysterious reasons.

About 3 hours into the day, noonish, we see a pod of killer whales hanging out with the boat. 

Rana ventures closer to the rail by then and adds it to her animals seen list.

Diem asks how her animal form hunting went.

Rana: I found a loud seal.

Diem: Did you try swimming?

Rana: No I just transformed into one so I know I can do it and watched them swimming so I’m sure they can. It’ll be fine.

Diem: Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be just fine. (As text this sounds like sarcasm but it wasn’t lol)

Rana: Yeah we’ll be okay.

Diem: We will absolutely be okay. (Also not sarcasm, but let’s not point out she didn’t try swimming in that form)

(Aboard the ship, Diem has identify now!) 

Before the end of the day, Diem picks a time when everyone’s near enough to hear them to tell Phi “guess what I learned how to do?”

Phi: What?

Diem: *brandishes pearl* I can identify things now!

Phi: And what’s that?

Diem: Oh the pearl I need to cast it.

Phi: So does that mean you could find out what this card can do?

Diem: Maybe, wanna try?

Phi: Yeah *hands it over*

Diem starts trying 

Phi: Oh but I also wanted to ask you how your night went.

Diem: *tries to concentrate on ritual but gives up to just answer the question* do you want to know that now or after I cast the ritual?

Phi: Oh later is fine.

Phi leaves so they can concentrate.

Diem finds it out after 15 minutes instead of just 10 and tells Phi it is the vizier and what it does.

Phi looks disappointed (I think because the card also lost its ability to be any card she wanted at a thought but all I literally wrote here is “Phi looks disappointed scene” and then failed to remember details I was so sure I could fill in later :P) (Aboard the ship: Keeping company with spiderwalking elks, Phi and Diem have a talk)

Ixyal’anu goes to keep her elk company after awhile.

Before the end of the night, Diem and Phi go to Phi’s room to dish the details on Diem’s last night with Teagan. By the time they get there, however, Diem has a more serious, related topic on their mind that alters this discussion (Sorry at the time I was stuck in the “no live awkward rated R details” mode and forgot something happened that would give Diem pause over the “after hours” story time).

Rana casts spider climb on the elk again to make herself feel better.

Ixayl’anu, confused, asks it “did you do this? How do you do this?”

Elk: I’m on the ceiling, it’s great!

Unfortunately realizes he can’t swallow upside down so comes down to swallow his food.

Ixayl’anu: You need to teach me this trick

Elk: I don’t know how I do it, it just happens.

Ixayl’anu insight checks 18 *stares down the elk*

Elk: Sometimes when your friend comes around I can do this.

Ixayl’anu: Which One?

Elk: The copper one

(Aboard the ship - next day shenanigans, I think? Day 3 shenanigans? I didn’t make the timeline very clear in these notes) At some point during the day, Diem snuck in Phi’s room to take back the doll from her packs, then tried to sneak it into her arms that night 20 stealth vs 25 perception, Phi wakes to see Diem looming over her, reaching out. 

Diem quickly hides doll behind their back and is very awkward about this. Rana doesn’t cuddle and I wanted to see if you would.

Phi wants to know what they were doing, why they were reaching out for her face though.

They awkwardly try to explain that there was something on her face.

Phi tells them they’re being creepy. Diem: Oh, and who snuck into my room in Budelia just sitting on the end of my bed watching me? That wasn’t creepy? Deflection fails so Diem shows her the doll and pretends they were trying to get rid of it for her before she woke up and freaked out.  This backfires as Phi gets really really freaked out and Diem decides they can’t go through with that either and admits that they did it, they were actually trying to *leave the doll in her arms* to find later and it’s just one of those normal dolls of the queen they were handing out at the festival.

Phi: I changed my mind, you’re not getting cuddles tonight.

Diem *crushed to lose cuddles*: I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were that scared of it - What if I throw it overboard right now - an offering to the sharks?

Phi agrees to cuddle after all if Diem throws the doll overboard. We do so and then go sleep in the same room with Rana. Note: I think I forgot to note the passage of some uneventful days mixed up in this trip somewhere because otherwise we’d have only 2 full days out to sea, arriving in the morning of day 3. As such, I went back through the notes to note when an (the?) uneventful day(s?) might’ve occurred. (Ocean Voyage Day ?: What happened to Kelly?)

By the time the rest of us wake up, Rana is probably already on deck sitting miserably.

Diem tries to cheer her up but it’s mostly cause she’s not feeling well.

Ixayl’anu begins to notice how weird it is that this crew is quiet and antisocial

Diem doesn’t really notice but tries to encourage sea shanties. A few look my way (19 persuasion) and catch themselves humming before quickly cutting off and going silent again.

Ixayl’anu starts talking to phi about how strange this is

Diem agrees, noting how the ships they’ve been on always sing shanties and clearly some of this crew knows them…

Ixayl’anu: and they’re usually shouting back and forth about things they’re doing/seeing.

Phi: Maybe they don’t need to communicate like that?

Diem: Yeah maybe they all follow old ones...? Wait that sounded way more ominous out loud than in my head.

Rana is glaring at us.

Ixayl’anu: *Grumbling* it’s usually more lively than this, I just don’t like it.

Phi realizes something about something Tel whispered her: Wait a second guys, I wanna go ask somebody something *goes to find the guy who thought the whole shark teeth thing was weird*

Phi makes a 17 investigation roll, she does not see the person she was looking for, but she had seen him since launch.

Phi returns and tells us she can’t find the guy she spoke to yesterday when we set out.

Diem: Are all the little boats still here?

Ixayl’anu casts divine sense but doesn’t sense any celestial, fiends, or undead: Do you know his name? Maybe you could ask about him?

Phi doesn’t know why we’re worried, but she knows his name (Sean something I missed) and could go asking even though she’s not worried.

Diem messages: Are you really not worried or are you saying that for Rana’s benefit, you can respond to this message.

Phi: Well I’m not worried but I’m getting worried that you’re worried. You can respond to this message.

Phi goes off to ask the captain and knocks, hears sigh.

Cpn: What can I do for you Selphina?

Phi: I was gonna ask Kelly a question but I can’t find him, do you know where he is?

Peter gets quiet and then says “Oh no, Mr Kelly had other engagements and didn’t join us this go around.”

Phi: But I saw him yesterday…?

Cpn: You must’ve been mistaken.

Insight check 10. She knows he’s lying but doesn’t know anything else about it, only that something about this is not right. It’s also suddenly degrees colder in this room.

Phi: I guess I was mistaken.

Cpn: No worries it happens to everyone

Phi: How’s the trip going, are we on schedule?

Cpn: Oh we’re making excellent time, we should be there by morning.

Phi: Excellent

Upon returning to us, Phi: Guys I don’t think we should be talking near the captain’s door in the future, but I was clearly mistaken

Phi actively tries to get out of the conversation and drop it.

Diem suggests maybe it’s this crew’s own superstitions like “quiet passage for quiet passage.”

Ixayl’anu says maybe she’ll be be less worried about it then. (Aboard the ship: Ambergris!)

At some point during the day we see a lump of grey goo overboard about the size of 2 milk crates. Definitely smaller than a chair.

Ixayl’anu notices it first, rolls a 12 on nature check, it’s not something her culture uses but it’s whale vomit and worth its weight in gold.

She points it out, gives fancy ambergris name to us and looks for a bucket, Phi tries to help.

We found a bucket, it’s probably not big enough for this. Ixayl’anu hits the thing, but realizes the bucket is too small.

Rana casts control water to keep it with the ship. Diem runs to get their special rope. 

When they return with rope, it ties off successfully and Ixayl’anu manages to get it up to the boat, with all four of us pulling we successfully get it on board (mostly Rana’s 21 and no thanks to my 2 lol).

It smells not great.

Diem: Oh that’s awful *prestidigitations it to smell like flowers* (Except it’s old enough to be hard and not smell too awful anymore)

We talk about getting it in the black of holding and breaking it in pieces so we don’t rip our bag.

Rana asks about what it’s for, is it part of the meteor?

Ixie: No, it’s...well it’s whale vomit.

Diem: Oh, gross... *looks at their hands and casts prestidigitation*

Rana goes back over to sit where she was before like oh my god as the rest of us talk about it being valuable. She leaves the bag of holding with us to break it and stick it in the bag.

Phi: This is awesome, the best day ever, I’m going to throw shark teeth in the water every time!

Ixayl’anu: *excited* yeah the teeth just show up on the beach it’s so easy to find them. (not knowing if that’s true everywhere).

Diem: Or maybe the whale just saw that doll (as an aside to Phi)? 

Phi laughs.

We have a pleasant evening, no plans.

Ixayl’anu gives a heads up to the elk: Watch listen tonight so you can stay up. Keep your ears open.

Evening perception checks: me (literal 0), Ixayl’anu: (nat 20), Rana: 21, Selphina: 10. (Ancient Whalesong Magic!)

Rana can’t sleep tonight. She hears a low wailing that goes into a series of clicks. She hears it all night long.

Rana goes to Ixayl’anu’s room and asks “What is that?” It sounds like they’re following the boat or just all around us.  A lot of them and very close.

Ixayl’anu: It’s whale song

Rana: Why are they so loud?

Ixayl’anu: Well it’s...I don’t know what they use it for, but it’s communication

Rana: But why are they so loud?

Ixayl’anu: I don’t know *both go above deck to check it out*

Rana makes 7 perception, Ixayl’anu a 14. She knows what to look for - occasionally she sees a spout but they’re not hanging out at the surface, only coming up to breathe and going back down, unlike what she’s used to.

Looking out over the water for a little bit they speak with animals at about the same time. About 10-14 whales.

Rana or Ixayl’anu: What are you singing about?

A whale: We’re working

Another whale: We’re busy

Now that they can hear what they’re saying, it doesn’t make sense at first, it has a weird strange poetic cadence to it, it kinda sounds like chanting or a ritual spell.

Ixayl’anu makes an 8 on arcana check

Rana wants to see if this is natural and rolls an 18 nature check. It seems like a natural thing, these are natural whales.

Ixayl’anu: What’s the song about?

There are words they can recognize, but she didn’t pre-arrange the song (Bless you if you know what I meant at the end of this statement).

19 perception from Ixayl’anu to get the meaning through the overlapping song. It’s about wrapping something around things and tying things together and binding something, repetitive in the round song way (row row row your boat lol) about keeping something together, apart from everything else.

Rana is leaning over the railing intrigued by all this.

Ixayl’anu is looking for any visual signs, 14, little waves, but not enough to disturb the pretty view of moonlight on the water. She doesn’t hear any birds or any other splashing. Very quiet other than the whale song.

Rana excitedly runs below deck to wake Phi and Diem up to experience the whales too! Diem actually does manage to perceive whales. It is very cool.

Rana (to whales): Are you coming with us?

A Whale: No we have our own business to attend to

Rana: Where are you going?

Whale: Here

Ixayl’anu: Are you hunting?

Whale: No, we are not hunting. We are very busy.

Rana: Do you need help?

One of the whales spy hops, large whale between humpback and blue whale (fin whale).

Diem: Wow that is so cool.

Rana gets the sense it’s looking at her and comes back down with a snort: I don’t think you could.

Rana: You’d be surprised. I might be able to help if you need help, but what’re you doing?

Whale: It is old magic for our kind.

Ixayl’anu and Rana ask them more about it, find out they’re doing some kind of binding ritual.

Rana casts locate object looking for pieces of the meteor.

She does not sense anything within a thousand feet of her. 

Rana: Is it about a rock?

Whale: It is about the project

Rana looks at Ixayl’anu with an unspoken question.

Ixayl’anu shrugs.

Whale clarifies: The Great Project

Rana: Good luck!

One whale acknowledges with a little fin wave

Rana: They clarified it wasn’t about a rock

Diem knows of sailors telling a few tales of whales helping shipwrecked people and other species and some people say the whales seem to be very benevolent forces, not really heard of magic, just weird sailor tales.

Diem suggests maybe the great project has to do with the sharks teeth thing.

Eventually over the next half hour we get out of immediate range, but we hear them for the rest of the night.

Phi dozed off leaning against something.

We go back to bed and the whole thing puts us at a later rising time. (Farford on the horizon!)

When we wake up we see Farford in the distance.

We’re gonna get 30k platinum for the amber gris (7500 each)

Next session: Jan 14th 5pm. (But really...tomorrow, it’s tomorrow!)

We don’t need to rp out selling whale vomit.

Phi kept a little jar of amber gris for future trade options.

Ixayl’anu tries to find more shark teeth.

(Omitted notes to self with note of omission so I remember to reference them for establishing some previous details)

Diem promises when they receive their cut of the amber gris, to name their firstborn after Ixayl’anu lol.

[ain-t-bovvered]

15x03 Commentary

  bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies  (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

Opening my phone in the morning: 

 What the fuck happened

Kat: You don’t wanna know

Kat: You’ll find out soon enough

Zee: Yeah ok I went to tumblr. Why did I do that ?

Kat: SHAME ON YOU

Giulia: BECAUSE U HAVE 0 PATIENCE

Kat: If you wanted to know I could have told you

Zee: I just opened the freaking thing and glanced at the first thing on my dash. Clearly, it was the wrong thing to glance at.  I yeeted out

Giulia: I DON T WANNA BE HERE

Giulia: will I cry

Kat: Do you want the honest answer

Giulia: No

Kat: Didn’t think so

Giulia: Im so tired already

Zee: Oh shush

Kat: Don’t I know it

Nat : ok i'm read

Nat : or not . whatever

Giulia: I’m not!! Help

Giulia: Ok im ready

Kat: Question first!

Zee: Uh oh

Giulia: I don t like it

Kat: With the download, do y’all have the green CW screen first?

US: no

Giulia: * stressed* Why 

Kat: Because I watch my recording, I don’t download so I want to make sure I start in the same spot

Giulia: Oh ok.... Geez

Zee: Are we ready?

Nat : Are we all not ready

Kat: I think we are right?

Nat : 3

Nat : 2

Nat : 1

Nat : go

Giulia: Ghost’s town again yay

Nat : Unpopular opinon: I hope Ketch dies

Kat: Sames

Giulia: Well he done anyway so

Kat: ...

Giulia: GREAT

Nat : idgaf about Ketch

Nat : AH GHOST TOWN THE 3RD YAY I'm so happy

Kat: Love these random ass hunters

Giulia: I see white pants I think Jensen jib10

Kat: SHUSH

Nat : Legit wanna throw my laptop away

R: The "Rafforza l'incantesimo"

my italian ass: GASPS

Giulia: Look at Rowena pretty dress

Kat: Yyyeessss that dress

Giulia: Also she brought a change

Zee: Came prepared

Nat : She's the thing that keeps me watching at the moment

Kat: Of course, it’s Rowena

Nat : UGH I felt that

Giulia: I felt dean

Zee: For me it’s deans legs and cas’s fed up face

Giulia: That place again

Giulia: What

Nat : Insert Joey gif: I'M SOOOOO SICK OF THIS TOOOOOWN

Giulia: Noted

oh look me walking with my tall friends

that door banging scared the shit out of me

R: Prendi cio che è debole, rendilo forte. D'una piuma d'oca, fai una spada.

Take what’s weak and make it stronger. Of a duck feather make it a sword

Giulia: OH ITALIAN

Zee: Is she speaking Italian?

R: Dalla nebbia, cemento possente, impenetrabile, inflessibile.

From fog, mighty concrete, impenetrable, inflexible

Giulia: SHE IS

R: Rendilo forte.

Make it stronger

Giulia: And pretty well too

Kat: It’s not working Sam

Zee: Connection lost. Check server

Giulia: Oh no

Kat: And down she goes

Giulia: Thanks

Zee: A real drink

Giulia: Lol

Kat: This look 🤣🤣🤣

Giulia: Gotta use it

Kat: Love the silent conversations

Giulia: Fuck off belphy

Nat : Ah angry ghosts . What else is new

Zee: I kinda love his sass

Kat: Same but I still want to stab him

Nat : Wow, imagine this was the last three episodes. It's over in a freaking ghost town. I'm still salty, can you see?

Giulia: Yeah that would fucking destroy me

Kat: Not at all you hide it so well

Giulia: That’s not who we are

Zee: Go Dean!! Tell them

Giulia: AWE SAM

Kat: Aw Sammy

Giulia: SAM

He’s so gentle . Such a big gentle giant, I love him.

Zee: Control your face Sam

Kat: That doesn’t happen. At all.

Giulia: YOU SHUSH THE FUCK DOWN

Giulia: that strap tho

Nat : Not gonna give up

Kat: He never does. Take a knee

Nat : He's like a leave in the wind, give up not giving up give up not giving up

Zee: Is he us?

D: Oh, I'm not freaked. I'm angry, okay? I'm pissed.

Giulia: I M PISSED TOO

Kat: THAT PISSED WAS SO COUNTRY

Kat: Jensen your Texas is showing

Giuls: And I’m loving it

Giulia: I need more then

D: Th-This... This sloppy-ass ghostpocalypse... that's Chuck's ending? No. No, I don't think so. After everything that he has put us through? I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some glorified fanboy get the last word.

Giulia: SLOPPY ASS GHOST APOCALYPSE

Nat : Sloppy Ass Ghost Apocalypse. Yeah, that's about sums it up

 Zee: Glorified fan boy

Giulia: dean speaking up for the fandom 

S: Anything useful in there? R: Not a thing.

sure

Nat : You don't have eyes

Nat : snorts

Zee: You don’t have eyes

Giulia: Ok that was funny

B: I got an idea, but, uh... you're not gonna like it.

Giulia: DON T

Giulia: TOUCH

Giulia: MAH BABY

Kat: You okay bb?

Giulia: no  I’m fear 

Kat: What

Giulia: Because i just remembered the season trailer. And i wanna be wrong

Zee: Surprised moose

Nat : Did he just say, minions

Nat : But that would mean that Belphy would stay on earth?

Kat: No he’d be in hell

Nat : Ah

Giulia: Ah

Giulia: ... I don t like this

Kat: DIBS ON SAMUEL

Nat : Dibs on Samuel

Giulia: Dibs on samuel

Zee: Dibs on Samuel

Nat : Hey

Giulia: AH sam witch confirmed

Nat : I'm calling Dibs on Dean then

Kat: NO

Giulia: Cas🙋🏼‍♀

Zee: Was waiting for Kat

R: Whoever does this, they'll be unprotected. No salt circles... all manner of angry spirits right up in their grill.

Nat : So yeah, Belphy wants Cas

Giulia: NO Don t look at my bb

B: I want protection.Muscle.

D: Yeah, Cass’ll go.

C: Well, it sounds like I don't have a choice.

Giulia: DEAN

C:

Zee: Dean threw him under the bus

Giulia: ugh

Kat: Oh babe

Giulia: COME ON

Nat : Dean would literally do anything now

Nat : That's how desperate he is

Kat: YUP

Nat : I see more of Ketch than I ever wanted

future me: ain’t that right

Zee: His underwear are ridiculous

Kat: SNORTS

Nat : Kill him

Giulia: Jesus lady there is an apocalypse going on

random demon I don’t care about: And you won't give them up? Not for any price?

K: Not at any price.

Giulia: Aw ketch

Kat: ya happy Nat?

Nat : AHHHHH OMG YES

Giulia: Eh

Giulia: We are at 2 spn final season deaths already nice

Zee: Casually strolling the graveyard

B: You know, your part in all this is, uh, pretty dangerous.I mean, you could die, get trapped in Hell. Your friends might never see you again. Funny, 'cause, uh,they didn't seem to think twice about it.

R.U.D.E.

Nat :lol Cas

Giulia: AHAHAHAH

Zee: Ok

Kat: Hhhhhhhaaaahahhaaa

Giulia: DO I LOVE HIM

Giulia: witch stuff

Nat : And what's Dean's role in this?

Nat : I think I got distracted

Kat: Outside by the hole  

Giulia: Being grumpy 

Nat : Ah where he should be 😉

Kat: Ready and waiting lol

Giulia: Well you’d want him in

Nat : Well, not the whole of him

Zee: FOCUS LADIES 

Zee: so fed up

C: Yet you needed protection, "muscle", for this?

B: Okay, you got me. I wanted company. I wanted your company. What? Shouldn't we at least try and be friends?

Nat : Belphy is Giuls

Giulia: WOW

Nat : You would want Cas' company too

C: You are not growing on anyone. Sam and Dean are just using you. Don't mistake that for caring about you, because I can assure you they don't.

B: Wow. You learn that the hard way?

Giulia: AWE NO BELPHY SHUSH 

Kat: Cas should know

Nat : Sush

Giulia: OH THAT REALLY STUNG

C: You're wearing Jack, who was like a son to me, like a coat.

Zee: Like a son to me

C: It's an abomination.

Giulia: im sad. I’m so sad

Zee: I think you should wait

Kat: It’s gonna get worse bb

Giulia: DON T PUSH HIM

Nat : Why does Cas has to go in first

Giulia: what else is new

Zee: The muscle

Nat : Ah

Nat : Do we trust him?

Kat: WHAT DO YOU THINK

Zee: No

Giulia: I hate how I can recognize enochian

Giulia: I trust bel so little

Nat : I don't think he should say that out loud

Kat: SUNG

Giulia: Oh

Zee: What?

Giulia: WHAT

Kat: SING IT CAS

Giulia: OMG WHAT

Nat : Don't do it?

C: ♪ Toh-luh dah... ♪

Giulia: OH COME ON

Kat: That’s all you get lol

Giulia: fuck  Oh great that was the “musical”

Nat : Ah Dean's at the hole

Nat : snorts

Kat: There might be a couple seconds more I can’t remember

Nat : Sam just thinks that he should be with Dean when this all goes to shit

Nat : And I cry

Giulia: ...great

Kat: Nope

C: ♪ ... mee ♪

Zee: Like an angel

Nat : WELL

Giulia: Oh fuck off

Zee: Oh fuck

Giulia: Well

Nat : Who is she again

Giulia: Ardat Some demon who wanted to kill bel

Nat : Ardat Lili is a dangerous storm spirit from ancient Sumeria, a vampiric succubus who visits men at night

Giulia: Thanks Hermione

Kat: Thanks google

Zee: Nerd

Nat : At least I know how to work google. Unlike the majority, it seems

Giulia: well I’m doing 3 things at the same time

Giulia: Everybody wants to rule hell. Nobody learned a thing from Crowley

Zee: It’s been a while since Cas got smacked

Giulia: He’s a fucking angel

Giulia: OF COURSE

Nat : THERE WAS A VACANCY. Pfffff

Kat: Ugh he’s so annoying

 Zee: That close up Giuls ? 

Giulia: I KNOW EXCITING

Nat : Ah the wind in Dean's hair

Nat : I need that close up Giuls   

Kat: The wind in Cas’ trench

Nat : lol in Cas' shirt

Giulia: that hand holding

Kat: 😭

Giulia: I’m having anxiety

Zee: We see

Kat: YOU SHOULD

Nat : Shouldn't Cas go out before it closes. Before Dean throws that bomb in?Ah, too late

Giulia: I can t take it

Giulia: DEAN.  DEAN FUCK

Zee: COME ON

Kat: He’s got business

Giulia: CAS

Giulia: what

Kat: IT’S NOT HIS FAULT AT THE MOMENT

Giulia: What is happening

Giulia: I’m so angry at everyone

Kat: CAS IS MAD

B: It's me... Jack.

Giulia: JACK SHUT UP

Zee: NO

Giulia: OH NO

The struggle Castiel going through is painful ok. I hate it , HATE IT.

Nat : Ah so Jack is gone?

Kat: His body I guess

Giulia: I HATE THIS

Nat : For good?

Giulia: FUCK NO

Zee: WTF

Giulia: WHAT WAS THAT SIGH

Well this destroyed me .

future me: AH JUST YOU WAIT DUMB BITCH

Kat: That wasn’t Jack

Nat : Because he's still in the empty, right? He's forgotten there

Giulia: FUCK

Kat: Death has plans

Zee: CAS

Oh you can see the moment Castiel feels like he’s got nothing left . great.

Nat : What

Giulia: ROWENA

Nat : WHAT

Kat: JUST FUCKING WAIT

R: Won't need that where I'm going.

Nat : Ah fuck

R: Magic can do anything, Samuel , can contain anything... even the vast multitudes of Hell.

Giulia: I HATE THIS

Zee: WHAT?

Giulia: NO

Nat : If I pay the price

R:"Death Is an Infinite Vessel."  A spell so simple it draws its power from its caster.Just two ingredients.

S: Rowena, why didn't you tell us?

shut up Sam 

R: Because, dear, the first ingredient is my own still-coursing blood. And the last is my final breath.

Giulia: I DON T LIKE THE PRICE

Nat : Rowena loves them to much

Zee: Hold on HOLD ON

Giulia: i love her so much

R: I'll absorb the ghosts and demons and return them to Hell.In time, my body'll break down, and they'll be released right where they belong.

S: No, no. No. Rowena... no.

Giulia: GREAT

Nat : NO AH

Giulia: I DON T WANNA SEE SAM CRY

R: To perform this spell, I have to die. And it has to be you that kills me.

Nat : Right, in every death book of Rowena, she's killed by Sam

Kat: POOR SAMMY

Giulia: OF COURSE GREAT

Zee: HE GOT OUT

Kat: SEE HE GETS OUT

Giulia: BUT AT WHAT PRICE

Kat: MIGHT BE BETTER IF HE STAYED THOUGH

Giulia: WHAT ?! YIKES 

R: My real, permanent demise is at your hands. It's in Death's books.

S: Yeah, well, you know what? Screw the books.

Us: *LOUD GASP*

D: Wh-What about the Crook?

C: It's gone. It was destroyed.

That what is so ..... wow

R: I don't care about anything enough to take my own life.Not you, your brother... not even the world. But I believe in prophecy. I believe in magic. And I'm here, and you're here, and everything we need to end this right is in our hands.I know this in my bones...it has to be this way. Do it! Kill me, Samuel!

Nat : I'm-

Kat: 😭😭😭😭😭

Giulia: I’m

Zee: INDONT WANNA WATCH

Giulia: I CANT TAKE ALL THIS

Nat : Fuck, Sammy

Giulia: OH MY GOD SAM

Nat : Sam is too fragile for that

Kat: I BELIEVE IN PROPHECY AND MAGIC 🤣😭😭

R:   I know we've gotten quite fond of each other, haven't we? But will you let the world die, let your brother die, just so I can live?

Giulia: NO SHUT UP

Zee: Shut up Rowena

Giulia: NO

Giulia: NO

Nat : Dean's pissed. What else is new

Giulia: NO NO

Nat : NO

Giulia: SAM

Nat : NOOOOO

Giulia: FUCK

Zee: God damn

Kat: NNNOOOOOOOOO

Giulia: STOP IT

Kat: She says Dean’ll die and Sam gets stabby

Giulia: NO ROWEEEENAAA

R: That's my boy.

Kat: THATS MY BOY

Nat : Of course

Giulia: WHAT IS THAT FACE SAM

Giulia: FUCK OFF

Giulia: FUCK THESE EPISODES

Nat : OH NO

Giulia: SHIT

Kat: IS IT BETTER OR WORSE THAN BORING

Nat : SAMMY CONTROL YOUR FUCKING FACE

Giulia: IM NOT READY

Giulia: NO DON T SAY THAT

Kat: JUST LIKE CROWLEY

Giulia: COME ON

Zee: CAN THE MUSIC NOT

Nat : CAS

Giulia: CAS BB

Giulia: WHY AM I SO TIRED

Zee: IMAGINE HOW SAM IS FEELING

Nat : HENLEY

Giulia: oh dean is in the nude

Zee: BUTT NAKED

Kat: SUCH GOOD SINGLE LAYER HENLEY PORN

Giulia: Oh he was crying In his room

Nat : Does Sam actually fit in the bed?

Giulia: Ah yeah ketch too

Kat: Okay I know it’s super sad but these boys are looking GOOD

Giulia: I KNOW AND IM SANGRY

I’M STILL MOURNING OK 

C: How's Sam?

D: Not great.

Kat: Get ready babes

C: Sorry about Rowena.

Giulia: No i refuse

Zee: WHAT?

Nat : NO

Giulia: Fuck

Nat : Don't you throw this in Kat

D: You're sorry? Why didn't you just stick to the damn plan?

Giulia: I DON T WANNA WATCH 

C: He wanted to eat every last soul to take over Hell, Earth, and every...

D: Yeah, and we would've figured it out... after. With Rowena.

OK but listen...figuring it out later could have been worse , although it’s true that Rowena was a real great asset. Idk man I’m hurting

Giulia: i can feel dean’s anger

Nat : Dean control your anger

C: Something went wrong. You know this. Something always goes wrong.

D: Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?

Kat: Oooohhhh boy

Nat : WHAT

Giulia: NO

Nat : DID YOU JUST SAY

Giulia: DEAN  U FUCK

you can see the shock and hurt and heartbreak on Cas’ face but it’s fine , it’s fine WE’RE FINE

C: You used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt. Now you can barely look at me.

They both so hurt and I cannot bear this

Zee: Can’t breathe

C: My powers are failing, and... 

yeah can we talk about that ? becasue...why the fuck

C: and I've tried to talk to you, over and over, and you just don't want to hear it. You don't care.

Nat : The eyeroll

Giulia: I HATE THIS SHIT

Kat: I know bb

SO ANGRY

C: I'm... dead to you.

SO SAD

Nat : The eyeroll

Giulia: I HATE THIS SHIT

Kat: I know bb

Giulia: IS THIS FANFIC

Giulia: I READ THIS 364830173 TIMES

C: You still blame me for Mary.

Giulia: NO

C: Well, I don't think there's anything left to say.

D: Where you going?

IS THIS FANFIC

Nat : CAS IS GOING AWAY

Nat : CAS STAY

Kat: You knew it was happening bb

Zee: WHAT

Zee: THE

Zee: FUCK

C: Jack's dead. Chuck's gone. You and Sam have each other. 

Giulia: NO THIS SONG

Nat : I know

Kat: I know

C:  I think it's time for me to move on.

Zee: STOP HIM YOU ASSUOLE

Nat : I knew it but I'm not happy about it

Kat: Group hug

Giulia: WELL DEAN LOOKS REGRETFUL SO AT LEAST THERE’S THAT 

Kat: As per usual. He lashes out then is sorry about it.

Nat : That's human

Giulia: HEY YALL CAN TALK TO MY CORPSE

Giulia: TRAILER TIME BECAUSE IM IN DENIAL

Giulia: MEH

Nat : Yeah well, the next ep is kinky

Giulia: gag me

Kat: Yup

Giulia: My heart is broken. This ep destroyed me

Kat: I know bb

Zee: DONT LIKE THE PROMO

Giulia: FUCK OFF THE PROMO I DON T GIVE 2 SHITS ABOUT IT

Kat: But Jensen directed

Zee: Dean was exceptionally assholy

Nat : We'll get Lumberjack Dean

Kat: That too

Giulia: dean is on a real fine thread

Giulia: I think that’s when there is samifer

Kat: Well the red was there And it was red when we see bearded!dean

Giulia: I currently don’t give a shit honestly

Kat: They’ll make up by the end

Giulia: Yeah i wanna see when

Giulia: Whatever I’m so tired

Giulia: Fuck off

Giulia: Im also pretty real sad.  And that hasn’t happened in long on spn

Kat: Jensen said in an interview it hasn’t happened yet so we’ll see

Zee: We all are

Kat: I know. I knew exactly how y’all would react

Giuls: Ok but it’s not even about destiel. I just hate to see them fight instead of working together

Giulia: My stomach hurts too now. I should go. Kat go the fuck to sleep. And nobody talks to me about the ep

Kat: I AM TALKIN TO ZEE

Giulia: Hush i can still hear you over the sound of my soul crying

Zee: In my defense, I told her to sleep

Kat: Give your soul a tissue

Kat: She did. Many times. I didn’t listen like usual

Giulia: That vinyl now looks real good to ease my pain. Not gonna lie

Zee: Take me with you. I’ll probably be a mile back but still

Giulia: I rewatched the end briefly because I’m a dumb bitch.  And yep, i can confirm i screamed into my pillow and got actually teary eyed and boi am I dumb to get actually tears for a tv show jesus and it’s only ep 3 but the threat of the ending is getting tight around my neck already and this is stupid, and fuck. And bye

Giulia: People are hating over everything right now

Kat: Yup. People hate Cas, people hate Dean, people hate the town (@Nat )  Plus, I think it, being the last season, makes people lash out more.

Nat : Hey

Kat: Did I lie?

Nat : No but it still hurts

Kat: Well they’re away from it now At least there’s that

Giulia: Why, where are they Idk

Kat: Do I have to say it?

Giulia: Say what

Kat: Where people are. I don’t think you wanna hear it

Giulia: Exactly

Kat: So we won’t say it lol

Giulis: For what it’s worth all the people throwing hate at Dean and Castiel can all suck my dick.

If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @wayward-angelgirl  @destiel-honeypie      @mariekoukie6661      @dragontamerm       @closetspngirl    @rainflowermoon     @mattiecat       @bunnybaby121115  @aliaitee2    @jacks-word-of-the-day     @4evamc       @dammitsammy     @legendary-destiel   @winchesterprincessbride    @destielhoneybee     @ravenhg @evvvissticante @emoryhemsworth​

[itsmealyyy]

we meet again l jeon jungkook CHAPTER 1

It was a very tiring weekend as my family and I moved into a new house, AGAIN. Well,  it is not that new to me because it was the 5th time we move into a new environment. From Gwangju to Ilsan to Busan to Daegu and now Seoul.

Seoul is not new to me as my brother built his own family here. But their house takes 15-20 mins drive from our house sooo...I can't at least go there and visit unless I have my own car and can drive on my own HA HA

Anyways, it's Monday morning and I'm about to see my new school. I really miss my friends in Daegu but grrr because of this stupid move, I can't see them. Well, I can't blame my parents because it was part of their business but ugh! I don't know

*Knocks*

"Raejin sweetie" a voice was heard inside my room

"Time to get up honey!" I heard my mom say as I felt her sit in my bed and removed the blanket from my head.

"Mom, it's early." I whined as I try to get the blanket back to my head.

But a hand slapped my hands.

"It's 7 and your class starts at 8, remember?"

I got up annoyed by her sentence as she stood up and was about to leave the room.

"Arasso, Eomma." I said defeated and got up from my bed.

"Breakfast is ready downstairs." She smiled as she exited my room.

Great. Now I can go back to sleep again wiiiieeee. I was about to get back to my bed when my room's door opened, surprising me.

"Get dressed." My mom said again as she walks out from my room passing the hallway.

I sighed as I looked at the uniform that is placed on the chair, in front of my study table.

"Right. I have to be early on my first day... at least"

I said to myself as I grab the uniform and went inside my walk-in closet. I placed it on the sofa of my closet and went inside the Restroom.

Well you see, it is connected to the walk-in closet so I can you know, easily dress up. But there's a door that just go straight ahead to the restroom. I didn't use it cause I have to get my uniform ready.

So anyway, going back to the story.

I was already finished taking a bath and brushing my teeth. I looked at myself in the mirror as I scan myself with my new uniform.

"It is better than what I have expected." I said as I fix the ribbon.

Once I'm done, I went out of my closet and grabbed my phone and my bag at the table.

I checked my phone.

7:30 A.M.

*1 new unread message* Annoying Brother *1 new unread message* Jieun Unnie ❤

I first opened my cousin's message.

----------------------------------- From: Jieun Unnie

It's your first day at your new school, right? I hope you enjoy your first day and make a lot of friends! I'll see you soon when I'm free. Fighting Raejin~!

-----------------------------------

I smiled from her message. She is just like a sister to me. But sadly, she was shooting her new drama that's why she can't visit...

I now opened my brother's message.

----------------------------------- From: AnnoyingBrother

How's my baby Rae? Are you up now? You should be up now, or else I won't let you meet Park Hyun Sik. Geez. Anyway, I have a shooting today so wish me luck.

Good luck on your first day and meet new friends! Fighting!

-----------------------------------

Aigo. I think I have to hit him for this. Why did Sejin unnie even marry him? Aigo.

I giggled as I made my way out of the room.

*Bark, Bark*

"Good morning Appa, Eomma" I said as I kissed their cheeks.

"Good morning Seochanie!" I hugged my dog.

I grabbed an apple in the counter and a bottle of water in the fridge and put it inside my bag.

"Are you not going to eat?" My dad asked as he went back to the dining after brushing his teeth.

"I'll eat at school." I said as I smiled and head towards the door.

"I'll drive you." He said as he was about to grab his keys from the table in the living room.

"Aniyo Appa. It's fine. I will just take the bus." I said as I opened the door.

I waved my goodbye at them and headed outside our house.

"Take care!" I heard my dad shouted from our door.

"Raejinah, don't forget to eat!" my mom shouted.

I glanced at them and smiled. I opened our gate.

>>

I'm now walking towards our school from the bus stop. Once I reached the main gate, I turned my bag in front so that I can get my letter from the principal. The guards on duty glanced at me.

"Student, where's your I.D.?" The guard asked with a not so overwhelming sound.

I looked at him. He looks like he's in his 40s. I bowed to the guard.

"Yo-you see... I-I'm a ne-new student." I said as I gave him the letter.

"Ahhh. Well." He said as he finished reading the letter.

He gave it back to me with a warm smile.

"Welcome to the Seoul National University" he said.

Giving me a bow, gesturing me to come in. I smiled and bowed to the man.

I made my way to the front. I looked at my surroundings and it was really beautiful. The school's name is shown right at the front. There were 2 buildings on each side and a walk-rail and also, a road in the middle.

As I walk inside, trying to find the principal's office, there were a lot of cars coming in from gate 3. It must be the students. Some students are gathered by groups, chatting.

It felt really weird because they were all looking at me. Am I that ugly? Or they know that I'm a new kid? I feel really uncomfortable.

"Hey. Is she a transferee?"

"I think so. But transferring at the start of the second semester?"

"She's pretty."

"I think I saw her somewhere"

I heard some students say as I pass by them.

I was now at the front of the C12 Building. I feel really lost right now...

I'm trying to look at the map that was given to me by the guards and... I think I'm in the right place. I think TT

"Excuse me." a voice said from the front.

I lifted my head up to see a tall handsome guy with his dimples flashed in his face.

Wow. His dimples...It's so deep and he's soooo cute! I can just look at him the whole day.

*Coughs*

I returned to my senses. Did I just spaced out????

It's really embarrassing.

"Are you lost?" He asked.

"Ahh. N-neh." I said as I looked at my feet, hiding, as I felt my cheeks burn out.

WTF! It's so embarrassing.

I heard him giggled.

"Principal office?"

I lifted my face again and nodded.

"This way." He said as he showed me the way.

There was an awkward silence as we head to the principal office. Well, awkward for me I think. I just followed him around. At some time, he glances at me and gives me a warm smile. Is he killing me with his dimples?! Gosh. I want to reach the office fast because I think, I'm going to die here just because of his appearance!

"Here it is." He said as she showed me the door.

"Ahh yes. Tha-thank you so much." I said as I bowed to the man.

"I'm Kim Namjoon by the way." He said as he offered me a hand to shake up.

I was hesitating to whether to accept his handshake but it would be really rude if I refuse it. Especially when I think he's a senior... I just grabbed his hands with my two hands and shake it up.

"I'm in my 4th year. You?" He said again after.

"I'm Lee Raejin. 2nd year." I said as I bowed.

The bell rang as a signal that classes are about to start.

"Oh. I should get going. See you around Raejin" He said as he rushed towards his class, waving his goodbye.

I just bowed at the man, feeling grateful for his kindness. Phew! That was close. I turned my body towards the door. Breathing in, breathing out before knocking.

"Neh. Come in."

I heard a voice from the other side of the door said. I quickly twitched the doorknob for it to open. And I opened it, a beautiful woman that seems to be in her mid-30s greeted me with a smile on her face.

"You must be Ms. Lee. It's good to finally meet you." She said as she gestured me for a handshake, which I took with both hands.

"I'll bring you to your teacher. He's waiting for you" She said as she stood up from her seat and gestured me to follow her.

>>

"Everyone. As you all have probably heard, we have a new student in your class. I hope you will treat her well and help her with all the lessons that she has missed."

I heard Mr. Cha, my homeroom teacher, said to the whole class. I'm outside the door right now. Waiting for my signal to come. I'm really nervous right now. My hands and feet are shaking like crazy.

"Aii sseam (Teacher)."

"Where is she?"

"Introduce her to us already, teacher!"

"Arasso. Arasso."

I heard my teacher calm them down. Now I'm the one who's really nervous.

"New Student?" The teacher called inside the room.

I slowly opened the door and walk-in. I can see all their eyes, scanning me.

"She's the one that I saw a while ago." Girl 1

"She's pretty." Boy 1

"She's my style." Boy 2

"Omo. I think she's..." A girl said, third row, 3rd element.

The class has gone wild. I'm super embarrassed right now...

"Everyone, keep quiet." a girl from the 2nd row, 2nd to the last element said to the whole class.

And it was just a miracle! I think she's the President. She has that kind of authority in her. I looked at my teacher. He's signaling me to introduce myself. I looked, then, to the whole class. All eyes were on me. Okay. I guess this is it.

"Annyeonghaseyo." I said as I bowed to them.

"I'm Lee Raejin. Please take care of me well."

I bowed again to the whole class.

"Aii. That's so boring." a boy from the 1st row, 3rd element said.

"Ne-neh?" I feel really confused right now. I mean, I was introducing myself. Why bother interrupting my speech? I blinked my eyes to the comment.

"Please tell us where you're from, your hobby, likes, dislikes, like that." My teacher said.

I flushed.

"W-well, I'm from Daegu...my parents and I just moved to Seoul... I used to be a volleyball player at our school. And well, I love to sing, dance, and play with my nephew and my dog." I said.

Resounding applause was soon heard in the whole room as I rubbed the back of my neck from embarrassment.

"Alright. Please take care of her well. You may sit beside Jihyo over there."

Mr. Cha gestured me towards the name.

The person raises her hands in the air and smiled in my direction as she heard her name. And it was the President who I think it was minutes ago.

But just then... I saw a familiar face at her back. He's staring at me. Why is he here? I asked myself as I cursed in my breath as I head towards the empty seat beside Jihyo.

I sat at the empty seat. But I can still feel an intense stare behind my back.

"I'm Kang Jihyo. I'm the president of the class." She said with a warm smile on her face. She reached out her hands for me to take in. I just smiled and took it. I'm still anxious about the boy that is behind me. God! Help meeee!

"Let's start our discussion shall we?" Mr. Cha said

Right. You came here to study and not for him. Let's focus shall we, Lee Raejin? I started to gain my focus. I hope it would be a good stay here for me...

[herotheshiro]

2nd post which may probably even be my last post for last night’s binging (bc idc enough abt the other mangas i read really. maybe i’ll just tack them on to the end of this post bc i’m too lazy to do another post) is mukou no hito/the man on the other side. EDIT: jk just finished reading ueno poteto’s other work on futekiya in the middle of writing this so i’ll just combine both works into this post

EDIT 2 AT TIME OF PUBLISHING: rip i ended up finishing this post days after that futekiya binge lol. i can only grind out so many reviews at once

1st up is mukou no hito/the man on the other side. now on futekiya it only has like 2 stars if i’m interpreting that right or is that spicy level for smut? if it’s the latter then how the fuck does it have 2 stars bc NOTHING happened, i don’t think either of them even jerked off so ... ANYWAY back to story review. what i was trying to say is that it only has 2 stars (?) but it’s actually a pretty decent story although i can get why ppl wouldn’t like it (not talking abt smut level. which yeah as i said nothing happens, they don’t fuck so if you’re looking for smut look elsewhere).

anyway plot. main character sano is an average run of the mill salaryman who’s still living w his fam and is very plain blah blah blah. he has no close friends and he has a lot of mean thoughts (antisocial?) so ppl don’t really take to him (bc when they do talk to him he’s socially awkward and not super open to their attempts to connect w him aggressive or not). he posts his life complaints and casual drawings on twitter though and he strikes up this friendship w an online person which he one day decides to meet ... and turns out it’s narumi, an up and coming/already famous idk actor! rest of story is their developing relationship.

ignoring the facts that there’s no way sano wouldn’t get media attention for striking up a friendship w a famous actor (bc narumi doesn’t really hide his face sometimes and he’s apparently recognizable) and also the low low possibilities for narumi to have ever noticed sano on twitter anyway (he finds him when searching up his own name and sano’s tweet didn’t even mention himself whatsoever ... like what is going on this is not how the internet works) ... i actually liked this story! obvi i’m weak to titles that subtly touch on story points (to sano and narumi, the other man is from a life they couldn’t imagine) but also i was so scared it was gonna turn into some twisted manipulation story but when it didn’t and it just ended up being awkward-wholesome i was like yeah alright! i did enjoy the psychoanalysis of sorts the 2 kind of did on each other? idk i’m just thinking abt that one scene where narumi asks sano to purposely invite his coworker over so he could see narumi and sano is like ‘wtf is this guy thinking??’.

i thought what was being implied was that narumi wanted to find a way out of his celebrity life by purposely seeking out potential scandal or something (physically meeting up with sano, trying to get sano to post abt him on social media, trying to make sure sano’s coworkers knew that they were friends) but idk. i think it was supposed to just be 2 guys trying to find a friend in each other and it ended up turning into romantic interest lol. also sorry to be a top/bottom person but i think of narumi as the top ... saying that explicitly bc i kind of get the vibe the author sees narumi as the bottom so. just putting my opinion out there. reversible though am i right

2nd one is katsutoshi which is a collection of stories really: the majority of it involve the eponymous character katsutoshi but then the last story is a separate unrelated one. the 1st 3 stories were sad to read tbh: the 1st one wasn’t sad per se but i just didn’t care too much for it (an actual one night stand tht doesn’t actually turn into anything more unlike the typical BL story); the 2nd one was sad bc of unrequited love and katsutoshi not really knowing how to find love; and the 3rd was like a mini sequel of the 1st story. the 4th story was cute bc finally katsutoshi may have found a relationship with someone who actually has feelings for him and wants to take care of him and i was like aww a good finish to katsutoshi’s story after the previous 3 stories. the 5th story was also cute, it’s abt an officeworker senior and junior who eventually get into a relationship.

i’m writing this review like a week or so (prob less lol i have no sense of time anymore) after i read it so idr much specific things to talk abt and i don’t want to reread the first few stories bc they’re sad. i think the last 2 stories are enjoyable to read, i feel like this author doesn’t romanticize creepy/problematic behavior/advances although characters do just kind of forgive others maybe a bit too easily. i do enjoy this person’s art though and i followed them on twitter so looking forward to potentially being able to read their future works. their storywriting kind of remind me of like indie manga artists like idk sneaky red, stories that deviate a little away from the typical BL story (aggressive/awkward but with a heart of gold/asshole who will eventually be reformed seme + shy and meek/very into sex/born sexy yesterday aka almost unbelievably stupid/dense uke). and i do appreciate the lack of smut, i think the author does make up for it through the given interactions.

anyway that reminded me i still need to finish sneaky red before my access to futekiya expires in a week or so. god i’ve wanted to finish sneaky red for so long but also it makes me kind of sad ... i mean yeah the dude is sexually into getting physically abused so it’s not like romanticized senseless abuse and ik from raws that the other guy eventually kind of reforms and tries his hardest to get his anger management issues under control bc he eventually gets feelings but also ... it’s kind of wack.

[foxanddragonbooks]

Flip The Page Challenge!

~stolen from booktumbe, as always~

I asked on discord for 3 coordinates, 1 for the number of my shelvesi have to pick from, the other for the book from said shelf, and the 3rd being the page number.

1.You’re getting a new identity! Let the coordinates guide you to a book, flip to the page you were given, and the first name you see is now your new name!

4,6,122

Stalking Jack the Ripper: page 122 is empty so i went with 123,…..and my new name is Thomas. hmmmm okay. Could be worse but I don’t think it suits me.

2. It’s time to get up and move the heck out of your town! The location of the book your coordinates lead you to will be where you’re moving.

3,19,200

An Ember in the Ashes: Blackcliff Academy. I think the fuck not. I would die.

3. You’re all settled into your new home, but you’ve gotta get a job to get that cash money flow goin. Create a job using the first object you find with the coordinates and page number.

4,13,113

Obsidio: Gold coin. So like a jeweler? Nice.

4. You’ve started your job and you’ve started developing feelings for a coworker. Find the book using your coordinates, flip the page to the page number you were given, and the first character you come across will be the character you’re falling for.

11,8,6

A Long Way Down To A Small Angry Planet: Corbin. Please no. nopenopenopenope

5. Using the coordinates & the page number, the first piece of dialogue you come across will be the first thing you say to your potential lover.

9,11,328

The Diviners: “Are you French?” okkkkkkkkkkk

6. That line really got to them, next thing you know you’re in love! You’re going to propose, but buying a wedding ring is too expensive. Using the coordinates & flipping the page to the page number you were given, the first object you come across will be what you propose with.

7,12,217

The King Slayer (sequel to the witch hunter) i didn’t read this yet fuck.Please don’t spoil me.

The moon. the FUCKING MOON. NICE. I would collapse on the spot if someone proposed to me with the fucking moon.

7. We’ve arrived at your wedding! Find the book using your coordinates, flip the page to the page number you were given, and the first piece of dialogue you find will be the first line in your vows.

7,19,275

Throne of Glass: “Oh great. I’d hoped you would still be awake.” umnnnnnnnnnnn

8. It’s honey moon time! Wherever the book’s location that your coordinates lead you to will be the destination for your lovers retreat!

8,18,188

A Storm o Swords: Riverrun. Ummmmmmmmm, okaaaayyyyy. I think the fuck not.

9. Things got a little cray on the honeymoon and now you’re expecting a baby! With the next coordinates find your next book and flip the page to the page number you were given. The first name you find will be the name of your first born child!

5,12,317

Ever The Brave: Lirra. Nice, I take it.

10. We’re time jumping 5 years & your child is desperately begging for a pet! Find the book using your coordinates, flip the page to the page number you were given, & the first creature you come across will be your pet! If you don’t find a creature, then the first object you find will have to be used as a pet replacement.

6,11,193

Wild Beauty: Lungs.  wtf. Wow does that even work. Do I go into a hosptal and ask if they can spare a lung for me??????

11. Your child is going to school! Find the book using your coordinates, flip the page to the page number you were given, using words on that page create the name of their school.

2,19,323

Even the Darkest Stars: Pink and Gold. NICE Pink and Gold School sounds fab.

12. You decide you’re going to start a YT channel for a side hobby! Find the book using your coordinates, flip the page to the page number you were given, & find something on that page that will be the core topic of your channel.

6,15,288

Fire and Heist: Dragons. jkandjaksnsjknajndjkas omg sign me up. I swear I did not cheat on this. I DID NOT.

13. Find the book using your coordinates, flip the page to the page number you were given, & using words from that page create a YT channel name.

8,13,341

Nemesis: Tantrum. ajdhhnkadnamkalmdl. Bitchy dragons throwing tantrums. I mean yeah. Sign me up.

14. Find the book using your coordinates, flip the page to the page number you were given, & the first piece of dialogue you see is how you’ll greet your viewers each time you start a video.

5,12,175

Ever the Hunted: “Cohen Mackay reported the involvement of Lord Conklin.”

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

15. You’ve decided to write a book! Find the book using your coordinates, flip the page to the page number you were given, & using words from that page create a book title.

2,17,230

Mockingjay: The Mining Tragedy. cries

16. Find the book using your coordinates, flip the page to the page number you were given, & the first line you see will be the opening line for your book.

1,20,237

Sky in the Deep: I pushed harder, flying past the burned-out, crumbling structures.

dead.

17. PLOT TWIST! The reason you even created a new identity for yourself is because a killer was after you! Now that you’re a mega famous author & youtuber, they’ve tracked you down again & they’re coming for you! Find the book using your coordinates, flip the page to the page number you were given, & the first character you see will be your killer!

7,11,171

Queen of Shadows

Aelin. Wtf girl why. I never did you wrong.

18. One day you’re setting up to film a YT video when you’re suddenly struck by the killer! Find the book using your coordinates, flip the page to the page number you were given, & the first object you come across is what they used to kill you.

3,17,95

Crystal Storm: Magic. welllllllllllllllll

19. Find the book using your coordinates, flip the page to the page number you were given, & the first line you see will go on your tombstone.

5,3,172

The Winner’s Kiss: “That deadly little inventiona.” njsabhdjaksdnkasm

[fatenista]

“Wow, we’re moving to Sydney?” I remember that excitement we had for our new adventure ahead. It was last year of Adil’s PhD, so we were looking for ‘What’s next and where’s next’.

By October, 2018, Adil got an offer from UNSW as a postdoctoral fellow in Oceanography, Sydney. We had around 6 months before we move to the new place. Adil was excited to go to Australia because he wanted to see Australia. He was born in Australia (QLD) when his father did his PhD. UNSW is also where his father graduated his Master!

Adil always hears the good-life story living in Australia from his mom, so for us, it’s a really exciting experience to go live in a new place.

During UNSW interview

Congrats Dr.Adil!!

First thing first, visa. The visa process is so easy because everything is online. Maybe it was easy because we’re sponsored. The requirements for the visa was not too tiring, we just uploaded all needed documents but heyyyyyy, we’re Thai so it pretty sucks that we were asked to get “Police Clearance” which we had to get it from Thailand (Only).

บ่นเป็นภาษาไทยน่าจะมันส์กว่านะ คือเราติดต่อเรื่องนี้กับกงสุลไทย ซึ่งมันดูง่ายมาก เราเเค่เข้าไปกรอกข้อมูลเเล้วปั็มลายนิ้วมือ (ประกาศๆ เมืองไทยยังไม่ใช้ระบบเเสกน Biometric เหมือนโลกที่ 1 นะจ๊ะ เรายังใช้หมึกตราม้ากันอยู่ในการพิมพ์ลายนิ้วมือ) ขอบคุณบังซุฟยานกับบังยะห์ยามากที่ช่วยเหลือเราเต็มที่ในการเดินเรื่องตรงนี้ หลังจากเรากรอกเเล้วปัํมนิ้วมือ เอ้ะ! เดี๋ยวก่อน จำได้ว่าของเรายากมาก ไม่เเน่ใจเพราะนิ้วเล็กไปรึเปล่า ถึงปั็มเเล้วไม่เห็นลายนิ้วมือ ต้องกดเเรงมากๆถึงจะโอเค บังบอกว่า “ถ้าไม่ชัด เค้าจะไม่ทำให้” คนไทยที่เคยขอส่งไปไม่เคยได้เลยสักคน เราก็เเบบ “หาาาา! เเล้วเเบบนี้เราจะได้ไม๊เนี่ย ก๊อชชช!” พอบังบอกว่า “โอเค ได้ละ” ทางกงสุลเลยถามเราว่า “จะให้ทางกงสุลส่งไปหรือทางเราจะสามารถหาเพื่อนไปส่งเอกสารไปให้สำนักตำรวจได้ เเบบที่สองจะเร็วกว่านะเเละชัวร์กว่าว่าเค้าได้ เพื่อนสามารถตามเรื่องได้ด้วย” เราก็เลยโอเค ติดต่อเพื่อนไป ต้องขอบคุณนูรีย์ มากกกกๆๆๆ อีกคนที่ช่วยเหลือตลอด โชคดีที่ออฟฟิสนูรีย์อยู่เเถวนั้น นูรีย์บอกเบื่อบอสเมื่อไหร่จะออกไปทำเรื่องให้ ฮ่าๆ การขอใบนี้มันยากเย็นที่สุดละ อุปสรรคมาก ค่าธรรมเนียมขอใบสำหรับสองคนก็สองพันนะ ณ จุดนี้ ขอขอบคุณบังเด้ะมากๆๆๆๆๆๆๆๆๆ ที่ช่วยโอนเงินให้เพื่อนเดินเรื่องนี้ก่อน 😀 ไม่มีทุกคนที่กล่าวมาข้างบนนี้ เราคงไม่ได้มาอยู่ซิดนีย์เเละมาบ่นให้ทุกคนฟังเหมือนวันนี้ คิคิ หลังจากนูรีย์ไปจัดการส่งเอกสาร ไม่กี่วันต่อมาทางสำนักตำรวจติดต่อนูรีย์ละบอกว่า ลายนิ้วมือไม่ชัดนะ ทำไม่ได้ I was like … wtf!!! ห่วยเเตกมากกก เห้อออ ทำไงดี โชคดีเรามีบังเด้ะที่คอยช่วยเราอีกคน บังเด้ะช่วยเราได้เยอะมากๆ บังเด้ะติดต่อไปเเล้วทางสำนักตำรวจ (คนที่ดำเนินเรื่องนี้) เค้าบอกว่า มีอีกทางนะ เเบบไม่ต้องใช้ลายนิ้วมือ .. again, I was like ..เห้ยย! ทำไมไม่ทำให้ประกาศให้มันเป็นที่ทราบทั่วกันล่ะคะ ว่าสำหรับคนไทยที่พำนักอยู่ต่างประเทศ มันสามารถทำเเบบไม่ต้องใช้ลายนิ้วมือก็ได้? คืออันนี้ไม่ได้ต้องการจะพูดไม่ดีถึงการทำงานราชการของทางไทย เเค่สงสัยในฐานะคนไทยคนหนึ่งที่คิดว่าระบบมันควรจะเอื้อประชาชนมากกว่านี้ .. Anyways, ทางนั้นบอกว่า ถ้าให้ทำเเบบนั้น ต้องจ่ายเพิ่มคนละ พันห้าร้อยบาท ทางเราก็ตกลง ทำไงได้อีกหล่ะ เสียไป ห้าพันบาท ก็ดีกว่าไม่ได้ใบนั้น จริงๆ ทางออสก็บอกนะว่า ถ้าขอไม่ได้ ให้เเจ้งทางออสไปได้ เเต่สำหรับเราคิดว่า ไหนๆก็พยายามเเล้วก็ลองให้สุด หลังจากนั้นสองวัน เราก็ได้ใบนั้นมา ได้มาปุ๊บ อัพลงเวปขอวีซ่าเลย วันรุ่งขึ้น เราก็ได้วีซ่าออสเลย อยู่ได้สองปี..

Next, plan was looking for housing. I had (a lot of) time to do some research on cost-of-living in Sydney. Housing rental, electric bills, internet and so on. We focus on finding a place where Adil can walk to the office (This way, we can reduce the cost of transportation and also increase our timing flexibility if the distance from home to office is within 15-20 mins.) So! here comes the first wave of shock.. The cost of renting is OUTRAGEOUS. We were looking for a 2-Br, 1B with normal living room, kitchen, and balcony. The cost per WEEK is around A$500-$600! (10,000thb-12,000thb/Week). Lower than this is not a place call home. Trust me, we did try to find cheaper price with a nice and lively place, but we couldn’t.

Normading style

Fly AirAsia!

We flew with AirAsia from KL-SYD, I must say, it wasn’t bad at all. We flew morning and got here 8 hours later. It was night time, we had contacted a Thai driver to drive us to Alison Lodge (Thank you Mint for giving us his info 🙂

We stayed for 10 days before we finally got the house (after 3 house inspection).  We did the house inspection, the first house was not like what it looks on the website at all. It’s cramped, small and old. 2nd house was a nice wooden floor, big bedroom but open kitchen is so small and 3rd house is so dark and so old and the first cockroach I saw for the first time in 4 years. Then, we looked up again for a nice house and within distance and price between $500-$600, we found one which is what we were looking for, I contacted the agent and ask for an inspection asap. The price of this one we decided to move in now is $560, nice house and everything is in its place. 2 bedroom, carpeted house, winder binder, spacious balcony, separate kitchen room, bath and shower not too small, laundry room, built-in wardrobe, built-in shoe shelf, door hooks and door mirror. It’s perfect.

Neighborhood

Insha in front of our building

Our first night, we got out first blanket and pillows. We didn’t have anything. อารมณ์เสื่อผืน หมอนใบมากกกก. Next day we went shopping for kitchen stuffs at KMart (Cheap!) Luckily, when we came at that time it was first 6-month that residence here will put away their no-longer use good-stuffs outside their house. So we got some nice plastic chairs for Insha, free good TV, free lamp, dining table, dining chairs, a small carpet, we got a cheap microwave, cheap 2nd hand washing machine, we bought 2nd hand fridge, 2nd hand dryer. We waited for a couple months before we bought the couch. haha what a hard life that time with no couch. We only have 1 mattress for now and we bought a good sofa-bed. Soon, we will need to have another bed but it’s not necessary yet for now.

We got everything nearby our house. The library is just 10 mins walk with great service for the community. We can borrow books from there as many as we like also with toy membership ($75/yearly), Insha can borrow up to 8 toys a time for 3 weeks!

Within few minutes walk, there are a park and playground where all the kids in our neighborhood would go and play together. Most of the parents I met are so diverse. So, that makes me feel comfortable and they are all very nice, helpful and friendly.

15 mins walk from our home is Coogee Beach! Nice sandy beach with so-blue water. It’s true that everything here is expensive, but having a good time at the park and a nice walk to the beach is absolutely FREE!

The food products here are at the best quality but of course, it’s quite pricey. The quality is super good, fresh, farm pick, organic and no-hormone added etc. Downtown Sydney, there’s Thai Town that we go when it’s a sunny weekend. There are shops open by Thai people and we can get all Thai ingredients and veggies at cheap price! (This is what we missed when we were in Saudi)

Oh! One more thing I loveeeeeeeeeeee it so much here that there are second-hand shops at every corner. Pre-loved clothing is so cheap and you can even find nice like-new NEXT blazer or Zara or Adidas at cheap price like $5! Not only clothing, at Vinnies, they have everything; carpet, lamp, clothing racks,  kitchen stuffs, books, house deco at very cheap price. Me, love it. Red Cross shops also sell pre-loved clothing, the better quality and branded quality clothing and when you purchased, the $$ you paid also goes to Red Cross charity. Oh, what a great reason to shop 😀

One of the reasons we love Sydney is Taronga Zoo! We got annual passes for both of us and Insha gets in for free. So, whenever it’s sunny, we always go to Taronga. The animals here are super cuddly and so well-cared. There’s no cage, animals live freely in the jungly hill of Sydney (Right opposite the Opera House).

After the zoo, we often go downtown at Darling Harbour. A big playground full of kids and kiddy city-water area for kids to play and have fun!

Or some weekend, we’d go to Sydney Fish Market! Enjoying the fresh seafood and fighting with the seagulls that tried to steal our food!

Our Randwick community events also hold nice events all year. The event we went last time was at Royal Randwick Racecourse, so many kids activities, concerts from Baby Shark, free snacks and everything is FREEEEEEE!

Sydney weather is funny. You can expect it to be sunny around 24 degrees forecast and then dropping to 14 degrees on the same day with strong wind and chilly rain. So, someday, we find some activities to do together at home! Like easy cooking, baking and some painting at our cozy overpriced-renting home.

Last but not least, Thanks Dada Coralust for all of his efforts and always doing his best for us, our little growing family ❤

  WE LOVE SYDNEY!

SYDNEYSIDERS "Wow, we're moving to Sydney?" I remember that excitement we had for our new adventure ahead. It was last year of Adil's PhD, so we were looking for 'What's next and where's next'.

[monolid-monologues]

Wtf is going on - Part I.

#12.

READY OR NOT..............

The next three weeks feel impossible. 

My KNEES are KNOCKING.

TOO MUCH IS HAPPENING

Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m losing my mind lol. I’m going to take myself through this week by week. Breaking up my next 3 blog posts into a Three part series, and i’m going to slowly tread wtf is going on.

1.) MY JOB, MY LIFE

Karina and i drove LA >> Oakland >> LA in one day to audition for 5 minutes. LoL. We’re crazy and we know that. The troubling fact is this job means quitting my current one and moving to Oakland.

In February at the festival in Oregon, we were invited to audition for Kaiser Permanente’s Educational Theatre. They employ actors to perform shows for kids.

It pays more than my current job. It is less stable than my current job.

I’m TERRIFIED of having *that* conversation with my dad, and my office.

Desperate to avoid a serving job (having worked them since i was 16), i approached my dad for a job at his company. He knows about me and theater. He knew to be cautious. He asked me commit 2 years. I promised my dad 2 years; it’s only been 6 months. There’s a voice in my head chiding me for even considering this new opportunity.

And part of me is very very resistant to the reality of this new opportunity. Moving to Oakland means moving away from Robin, from Heather, from my studio, from all the work i’ve been doing in L.A to lay down some roots. Working full time at a corporate theater. Suffering bay area rent. Potentially losing my dad’s support (he is helping me with car and insurance payments). And pouring so much time into someone else’s theater. And potentially neglecting my own dreams -- risk of being too burnt, busy and broke to manifest my own theater projects. Not to mention all my fears around the importance of artistic freedom to me and needing to comply with a higher authority for paycheck’s sake (literal nightmare). And i just, might, very well, possibly, end up hating the job. 

I fear breaking my promise. Going back on my word. Owning up to the fact that i am not the loyal bitch we hoped i was. I fear these feelings of betrayal. I fear upsetting my dad and losing his support. I fear the disrespect i am slamming on my director & cecillia’s time and energy and trust in me. I fear that there is no “good” decision, but i can see Regret sitting atop my worst case scenario and i’m afraid that it doesn’t even really matter how things go, whether i stay or go, it’s all a sticky situation. 

If i get the job, but don’t go, i am still at the office. Sitting. So much sitting............clutching my small studio time like the life jacket it is...

If i get the job and want go, well, fuck, that’s a lot of, fuck. Can i put my independent theater dreams on hold? Is this experience worth pursuing? Is it worth upsetting my entire life here? Wow. Since when did i get so attached to my life here? I’ve worked so hard since i’ve been here, to seek, and seek, and plan, and build. I’ve been planning for my life here in L.A. I NeVER imagined relocating this soon. Turning my life upside down when i’ve literally JUST managed to get it looking right-side-up. f$&%@#$!

OKAY Normally, i’d wait to see if i got called back to start worrying. But this opportunity requiring 600 mile drives, requiring me and karina to rearrange chunks of our lives, to even be considered for the job, makes every step in the audition process so costly o_o.  We’re asking ourselves “if we do get called back, how are we even going to get there?”  We’re investing and sacrificing for a huge Maybe. Even pursuing the possibility is TOO MUCH!!!! yet here we are. Why? Why am i this crazy about a maybe?

L.A.’S BEEN GROWING ON ME. AND I MIGHT NOT GET THE JOB. LET’S KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID -- 

Tomorrow, we will find out if we’re called back. If we’re called back, the one thing i need to do (the scariest fkn thing ok) is ask for another day off (to secretly attend). If god blesses me with a Yes and my director is NOT fed up with my bullshit, the next thing is figuring out how tf to get there.  And that’s it. That’s it. That’s it. For now.

* * *

An interlude.)

What changes when i decide i’m tired of doubting myself? Staying off social media is a great relief. I stepped back because i was starting to carry some duty to entertain or cater to the tastes of the people who engage with what i post. The anxiety that begins to stir between myself and thoughts of people far away -- with heavy social media comes this baggage we pick up and hold nearly voluntarily. 

Just as we are curious how someone else’s life is going, we imagine other people are curious about ours. 

We second-guess what we want to post.  When it’s about what we want to share in the first place. How anybody receives it is their business. Leave them tf ALONE, LOL. Leave YOURSELF alone!

If it’s your career, you chase one of few formulas. If it’s your hobby, you draw from these formulas and mix in your personal flavor of “idgaf”. And if it’s mostly irrelevant to what you do/what you want, you’re not even bothered. *shrug* 

Every fuckin body will tell you, people who don’t frequent social media are happier. 

Do you think so? Do we think so?  I’m skeptical.  It’s easy to believe, given how much (admit it) time and attention social media sucks. But actually? Let’s be clear: who can know? Lol. The very point around people who don’t use social media is they are beyond the reach of our prying eyes. They are safe, much less susceptible to the wandering imagination of a distant relationship. They are out of bounds. 

Sometimes i wish i was that kind of person. Whoever that means.

I’m not. 

There’s something about getting to show something to hundreds of people. There’s something about connections waiting to be made. Paths that could cross. Click-holes where we lean outside of our usual environments. We are open to exposure and being exposed. We are creative with our public image. We narrate our own lives. We seek others’. ThaT PART. That part. “I will engage!!!!!!!!!!” 

Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with social media?

What does that look like?

There’s so much in our culture that discourages social media use - from mental health to physical health - we are told every day what the pitfalls are. We know it ourselves in living our lives. The common denominator to these warnings is usually over-consumption. Too much. Much too much.

If we are using social media, we are at risk. We know the risks. We live with the risks. ALAS -  we believe we can manage the time/space distortion that the social media universe rips into our lives. 

With social media comes this massive gravitational pull sucking us into a manufactured world. This tech, as far as i’m concerned, insanely complicates our lives - adding data to bodies, instant X long distance everything, and a level of productivity concerning online metrics that is often inversely proportional to our productivity offline. 

The most estranged relationships continue to fizzle quietly with mutual following. Our brains buzz “To post or not to post”. And our eyes are getting tired, our thumbs sore; our time and attention sinks and slips away from us. Like retribution for the discontent, disinterest, and laziness we risk habituating with social media.

We give access and have access and the ride is crippling or energizing depending on whatever people or time in your life. 

Do the rewards outweigh the risks?

* * *

II. SHOWTIME

IT’S GO TIME.

While i’m floundering in the dark about my job, my life, March is ending soon and come April comes the premiere and one-month-run of my new production, 1-800-PERFECTION. 

This is my first show in socal. My first show outside of Davis. My first full solo work. My first script-based PLAY in YEARS.

March Timeline:

meeting with studio manager to settle performance dates (today)

last full rehearsal (3/24 SAT)

tech rehearsal with Heather (3/30 SAT)

preview performance w/ talk back (3/31 SUN) YOU’RE INVITED. rose.artrat@gmail.com | please come! TIME: 1-3pm LOCATION: 1183 Kraemer Blvd, Anaheim, CA

April Timeline:

Dress Rehearsal  (week 1, TBD)

1st Show (week 2, TBD)

2nd show (week 3, TBD)

3rd Show (week 4, TBD) Tickets: $12 venmo  (seat reserved) or $10 cash at door (exact change!!!)

My radical marketing plan is to do it in person.  I wanna shit my pants thinking about it, but i’m determined to go out there into public places and invite people to my show face 2 face. I will certainly let you know how it goes. The experience may turn up a giant dumpster fire. :-)

Common questions when opening a new work include: what if ppl hate it? what if i hate it? what if no one comes? what if this is the end of my reputation as an artist as we know it? as i know it? what if i’m not ready? 

What if i didn’t rehearse enough? THIS ONE’S BEEN HAUNTING ME.

My best friend asks me how long i’ve been working on this play. I tell her i can afford 20 hours of studio time a month. It’s been almost 4 months now. And then she’s like, isn’t 20 hours...less than a day?  *brain explodes* Have i only worked on my show for LESS THAN 4 DAYS? IS IT LIKE THAT? 

It has been living, growing, changing with me day to day. But of course, 20 hours is really it of dedicated work time/space. 5 hours a week. 

I am used to working 30 hours per weeeeeek on a show.  that’s what i’m used to.

....................................................

I remember when i first found this studio offering exactly what i was looking for and could afford, i was ELATED to get 20 hours a month. Considering the ZERO work i was doing my first 2 months back in LA -- Getting 1 step closer to where i would be today - on the cusp of running a whole original ass show - was mooooreee than enough. 

But this is honestly one worry out of SO MANY, literally so many, that it’s all looking - sounding - and feeling increasingly ridiculous. because there’s just so much. *laugh cry emoji* * * * I’m never going to forget what i signed up for. Everything on my plate, i set up for myself.

Was i ready for all of this? No. Did i dream this up and seek its fruition? Hell yes. Even i know that only time will tell me What was What.  So, i will take it one fkn day at a time.

Maybe this is a lesson to follow your dreams no matter what, precisely BECAUSE you’ll never be ready for it. I can’t imagine being ready for what i’m going through these days. There’s no fucking way i could’ve known how stickyyyy things could get when i made my first studio payment in December, or asked my dad for a job in October.

But go through with it, we will, because we’ve reached the point where we must. I’m. Not. Looking. Back.

BUT I AM REALLY TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF MY HEALTH WHILE I’M WHIZZING ACROSS THE STATE AND PREPARING ALL THE SHOW THINGS. WISH ME SOME HONEST LUCK ON THAT.

So, I don’t have a dramatic poignant closer for you on this one. Let’s, uh, give that to Part 3, when we wrap this whole mess up. (ie. is Oakland rlly happening? how was canvassing the brea mall to advertise my show LMAO? did i lose my damn mind, or nah?)

Hi.  I just want to say, thank you for reading. Really. thank you.

I think my writing is suffering from the craziness atm.

* * *

i’ve committed to being vulnerable in writing every week.

previous letter: #11. detox,

drop me a line

http://monolid-monologues.tumblr.com/ask

[koganphrancis]

Camless Episode 4

(gif credit: winifred-burkle)

It’s a landmark episode and not a lot happens, as always.  If they didn’t have the fact it was the 100th episode to talk about, they’d pretty much have nothing at all.  Another episode without bringing up Terror (yay!), another episode without sex or a titty shot (shock!), another episode where we learn nothing about wtf is going on with Ian (yawn).  I HAD thought the show had managed to wrap up 3 storylines, but then I saw spoilers online last night that would indicate at least 2 of them will go on :(  Spoilers and not much else under the cut.

Ian got the “here’s what you missed” again this week, which I’m taking as another sign Cam is nearing the swan song ;)  But, ugh,the opening wasn’t funny-or understandable-at all.  Cam’s standing in front of a busload of extras they must’ve bussed in from a local Chicago school of modeling to portray Gay Jesus supporters, he’s wearing his “God Loves Fags” T shirt and says, “What the fuck were you doing last week that was more important than watching Shameless?  Protesting homophobia and bigotry?  Damn right you were.”  WTF?  If people weren’t watching Shameless last week they were exercising good taste, not “protesting” somewhere at 9 PM on a Sunday-or does he mean not watching this shit show is a protest against homophobia and bigotry?  That actually does make sense.  I apologize ;P

Liam  Whatever the point was of aging him and doing a time jump after Monica died went out the window last night when Liam is approached by some public school teachers about his placement for the next school year.  Liam is afraid he’s going to be kept back, but they assure him it’s the opposite, they want to move him up.  He asks if he’ll be put in 3rd grade, but they say they want to try him in 6th.  But if Liam thought skipping a grade would put him in 3rd, that means currently he’s in 1st and the oldest that would make him right now is 7.  The fuck?  The only reason I’m talking about any of this is because that’s how lame the show is now.

Carl  Lip FINALLY says something to him about the dogs smelling up the whole house.  And then shockingly Ian and Carl have a conversation about the dogs too-and West Point.  But of course this is the year of the Gallagher house seeming weird and creepy, so the conversation takes place with a very catatonic-like Ian sitting on the basement steps in weird shadows whilst Carl feeds the dogs.  The brotherly convo goes like this: Ian: Sure they wouldn’t have been better off if you just gassed them like you were supposed to? Carl: I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I: How are you going to order men (note to JW-women can serve in the armed forces now too, even in combat) to kill the enemy if you can’t put down a couple of old dogs?  That’s what officers do-order men (!!!) to kill.  What did you think they were gonna teach you at West Point?  Marching cadences? C: Is that what Gay Jesus would do? I: What, kill old dogs?  Hell no, Gay Jesus is all about inclusion and grace, but you’re not looking to get into heaven.  You want to lead lean mean murdering machines.  (DID ANYONE EVER THINK THAT WAS IAN’S GOAL IN GOING TO WEST POINT?  LEADING KILLING MACHINES TO THEIR DEATHS?  I HATE YOU, JOHN WELLS!)  If you can’t kill a couple of old dogs might be the time to start considering teaching kindergarten?  Nursing school?  

On that note, he gets up and walks away.  Let me interject another rant here-since WHEN is Ian this insensitive sexist jerk who would think of jobs/careers in terms of things real men do vs. traditionally (in the dark ages) “feminine” jobs?  John Wells is a fucking dinosaur that needs to be educated-fucking teaching and nursing jobs are as difficult as soldiering, plus these days they’re expecting teachers to start protecting classrooms with weapons.  He’s such a dumb fuck!

And also-I bet this is the only time Ian will speak to Carl about West Point and we’ll never know how he truly felt about watching Carl grasp at the dream he once had.  Way to blow the opportunity.

There’s a whole stupid side story about Carl and the kid who originally was getting the West Point letter of recommendation.  In another add it to the list of “read the room, school kids arranging to shoot each other isn’t funny, you fucking out of touch white males” plots, Carl needs to get his “killing mojo” back so he goes to visit a local veteran.  I can’t even begin to guess if Wells was trying to make some commentary about PTSD or if he was just using the poor guy for laughs (this is Shameless, as they love to remind us, so I’m guessing Wells was just going for yuks).  The show makes its at least THIRD joke using tattoos as a punchline, and-just like with Mickey and Ian-it fails to be funny.  Get new material, you untalented hack!  Sorry I keep yelling at John Wells-what a waste if he’s not actually reading this ;) 

In Carl’s showdown with the other kid, Wells turns that kid into a poetry-spouting “pansy” at the last second.  The kid can’t bring himself to shoot Carl, so he shoots himself in the thigh saying his warmonger dad can’t make him enlist in the Marines now even if he’s not going to West Point.  I’m sitting at home wondering if the idiot nicked his femoral artery and is about to bleed out.  Carl says the self inflicted wound is just a flesh wound and they’ll be able to tell, so the kid starts blabbering poetry and Carl shoots him in the other thigh to shut him up.  The kid thanks him and Carl walks away.   Now I’m convinced that second shot had to hit the femoral artery and no one’s calling 911 and I bet the kid dies and Carl’s path to West Point is now strewn with his body and Kassidi’s.  

Debbie  I can’t...I’ll try, I’ll try to be brief, because it’s all meaningless.  After spending one night together, Alex says they should live together (because that’s what ALL wacky lesbians do, they move right in), and Debs says yes.  They get to have a cute domestic breakfast scene that by rights should’ve gone to Mickey and Ian, but I digress.  Debbie goes out and buys “lesbian” outfits, which to me just seemed like they were making fun of HER-of course she’s going to hit the mall, she’s just a teenager!  She doesn’t have to be the spokeswomen of lesbians everywhere.  This show has a knack of mocking the wrong things at the wrong times.  It’s their shitty writing, not teen spending habits, that’s ridiculous here.

The next time we see them, they’re in bed again, and Alex is filling Debbie in on her past serious relationships, and then Wells gives Debbie a speech about all the dudes she slept with and it’s so much more cringe-worthy thinking about the fact he wrote it.  Plus it’s another “relationship retcon” speech since Debbie doesn’t mention that every other time she’s had sex it was a form of rape.  Matty (who Wells has Debbie say had a “big dick”) wasn’t conscious (and, btw, John, a 12 year old virgin-which is the oldest Debbie could’ve been at the time with all your screwing around with her still being 16 last year-wouldn’t be all that enthusiastic about “big dicks” for her very 1st time), Derrick (who she lied to about birth control-if he had slipped off a condom right before entering her that would be rape and this case is also-Wells says he had a great body and really knew what he was doing), and the guy she crossed state lines with who was obviously over 21 if he could rent a hotel room in Missouri, PLUS she was drugged and unable to give consent-that dude’s a two for!  Debbie doesn’t mention him, since she can’t remember him, I guess.  She brings up Neil, but says being with him was just financial (she doesn’t bother to say he just watched while she did things to herself.  But hey, if they had had sex, that would’ve been another case of statutory!)  Anyway, then Wells has Debbie spout off about what having sex with another “girl” is like and Alex gets more and more dejected.  She’s just now seeing that Debbie’s not gay?  We’re supposed to feel sorry for her?  When in the previous episode which SEEMS to have taken place the day before (or a couple of weeks, tops, if you’re going by Liam’s time line) Alex said right out loud that she knew Debbie was straight?  WHY IS THIS SHOW SO DUMB?  We haven’t gotten to know Alex well enough to have sympathy for her regardless, but they made the point of letting us know she KNEW going in Debbie is straight.  And of course in John Wells’ world, there’s no such thing as bisexuals, so...

Deb and Alex “break up” (who cares?) and I thought that would be the end of Alex and Debbie’s gay storyline, but no-sounds like they’re going to be the new Ian and Terror-next week “Debbie tries to repair things with Alex” according to Spoiler TV.  NOOOOO!  I wanted that to be one of my three wrapped up storylines!  

Debbie comes back into the Gallagher kitchen, dragging her baby carriage and pillow with her and crying her heart out.  None of the siblings appear very concerned-this is the new Shameless, a bunch of strangers occasionally bumping into each other.  The biggest “shocker” of the scene is the family is eating Popeye’s instead of KFC.  Another jolt that we don’t even know these people anymore, LOL.

Lip  I can’t...I just don’t understand the motivation to try to make Xan part of his life when he doesn’t seem to be bonding with her in the least.  He asks her if she’d want to stay with him if her mom never comes back-but doesn’t tell the kid why HE wants her to stay or ask Xan why she would want to stay when she says okay.  The story is hollow and no one seems to try to be filling it with any substance.  

There’s a couple of scenes at the motorcycle shop and it’s so obvious Lip and Brad have no idea what they’re doing-they always just grab wrenches and poke at bike parts with them.  Last night Lip kept using the ratchet wrench-I think JAW must like the noise it makes.  

Lip sells the bike he restored to get money to buy parental rights from Xan’s mom, and it’s just creepy?  Why would the mom know to trust him?  I’m still not even convinced WE should trust him-sharing a room with her is creepy af.  Anyway, Xan comes running up when Lip’s trying to get the mom to make the deal (and why is Xan out unsupervised in the middle of the night on a dark South Side street?  Even if she did “just” sneak out to look for her mom, this is a clear example that Lip isn’t father of the year, that he’s not meeting the bare minimum requirements as a guardian), and the mom drops to hug Xan because it’s the 100th episode and these two characters we barely know should get the big emotional scene?  Anyway, Lip drops the check and runs, overwhelmed by an actual show of emotion, no doubt.  THIS was the 2nd storyline I was hoping would be over, but then TMZ reported that the actress who plays Xan has been signed for Season 10.  Which, BTW, still hasn’t been officially announced and that just seems weird that they haven’t.  What is Showtime waiting for?  

Fiona  Ugh, she was worse than ever this week.  Can’t believe these are her waning days-it truly seems like Wells is out to punish her.  Fi is on the toilet as Bored brushes his teeth.  Fiona goes right from flushing to brushing her teeth WITHOUT WASHING HER HANDS.  It was so gross-I hope next episode she and Bored have pink eye and mouth thrush.  (Fi also touches her lip after putting on lipstick-still without the benefit of soap.)  They still have no fucking chemistry, and they start talking about the election which of course they don’t see eye to eye on.  Then Fi goes to Patsy’s for the first time in forever and Wells gets to recycle the Fi vs Ian fight over gentrification from last season by having Fi on the opposite side of Frank’s candidate, although they don’t bother to give us any face-to-face interaction.  Which is just fine, since the election storyline was boring and weak anyway.  

Fi is a total...I don’t even know the word-what do you call a boss who doesn’t allow their workers their freedom as voters?  She tells the waitresses to take off their buttons supporting their candidate and that there can be “no electioneering” at the workplace, but puts up a poster for her guy and offers free pie to anyone who puts on one of his buttons.  Would she ever really be that clueless and such a bully?  Does anyone care anymore?  

Later, Fiona goes to the Alibi and has a conversation with Vee where she basically says, “This is what Ford is telling me to think this week...”  Fiona says she wants to vote for the guy against rent control, the businessman  And Vee points out that “the businessman” in Washington isn’t working out too great.  Ooh, Shameless, rushing in with the timely political commentary!  (There will be more too, ugh.)

When Fi shows up at her (or a?) polling place, there’s a rumble going on and Wells has her throw one punch to show us she’s still “South Side”, I guess.  It was gratuitous.  It did not remind us of the show’s glory days, it was a thrown in pointless moment that was so outrageously just tacked on. 

In Fiona’s final scene this week, Bored walks into the apartment building with his massive wooden toolbox reminding us he’s a massive tool, and Fiona tells him how she changed her vote, they kiss, and women’s rights are set back another 100 years.  Oh, and Bored still squints A LOT delivering his lines.  Emmy seems to open hers even wider, probably unconsciously trying to get the other actor to at least try to keep his open once in a while...

Veronica and Kevin  There was some more truly awful “rape jokes” this week. Rape is never going to be funny, and with the week this country suffered through last week-plus the fact that it’s still ongoing-I really wish they had just deleted all the Alibi scenes.  Kev makes up a scoreboard or bingo sheet (it isn’t clear) of all the “types” of rapey behavior that can now be shorthanded into a celebrity’s name.  I won’t even justify the “joke” with some examples.  And then KEVIN becomes a sought-after consultant to make other South Side bars less rapey because he’s the white man running the Alibi and Vee is...not.  

Frank is in the episode more than I’m going to talk about, but suffice it to say I do truly believe his election storyline is over (one out of three is not good enough, Shameless!  Wrap up the boring shit that’s going nowhere and do something with the other shit that’s also going nowhere!)   Mo wins the election, and Wells has a reporter say it’s because voters were afraid to say they were bigots in polls.  Which again, this show is too narrow to try to address larger issues-if that’s Wells’ theory why Trump won, it doesn’t explain how “bigoted voters” elected Obama twice.  Try making the world a better place, Wells.  Yes, there is racism and idiot bigotry here, but there was just something smug about how he justified his fictional political outcome.  There was a scene where Frank’s asking some of the Gallaghers if they’re voting-Carl says he’s too young, Lip says he’s not registered, and Ian says, “What’s the point?”  And that pissed me off too, because we’re having Gay Jesus shoved down our throats, but then Wells seems to be saying Ian won’t bother to vote and would rather blow shit up.  Again, the kid that ORIGINALLY had the dream to serve his country by going to West Point.  And fucking Lip-what, he’s too “smart” to think voting matters?  

(Also in that scene, Ian was eating peanut butter toast, but still no sign of his pill bottles.  Cam actually took a bite of the toast, if that type of dedication to his craft matters to anyone.)

The post credits “joke” was a pedo joke about Mo.  Fuck you, John Wells.  

The only thing Frank was good for this week was to lead us back to Mickey’s house.  As so often with this show, I have to forget context (good thing I’ve had plenty of practice, I guess?) and I will fully admit that when I saw Mickey’s little castle of a house I teared up a little.  It was like seeing an old friend.  

But then of course they had to ruin it by Frank knocking on the door, we hear Terry yelling and hitting a dog named Adolf (they put a yelp in and everything) and Terry opens the door wielding a baseball bat that brought Negan and Jeffery Dean Morgan to mind-I hope that was a shout out to him.  The bat had nails in embedded in it instead of barbed wire, but close enough.  Best not to imagine how much cooler the show might have been with JDM instead of Sean, sigh.  

A much funnier joke than anything they did give us about Mo White would’ve been to have Frank ask Terry, “Still have a connection with Russians?  I have an election to rig.”

Finally we get to Ian but just because he had more screen time this week doesn’t mean we’re any closer to knowing anything.  And I was going to bust Cameron for acting very sleepy and out of it in all of his scenes, but then I realized that’s pretty much how all the Gallagher kids actors have been acting, except for Fiona (and I’d say she’s trying too hard sometimes.  There’s also been lots of scenes so far where it seems like she’s phoning it in-but of course they’re giving her shit to do).  

Anyway, things this episode start in the Gallagher kitchen, Ian groans when he sees the coffee’s all gone, and says he’s not sleeping-he got too used to all the noise in jail, it’s too quiet here.  Well, bitch, the house was always lively when the Milkovich siblings were there too, work on getting them back...

Lip asks him if he met his public defender yet and Ian says Geneva and the Gay Jesus donors got him a lawyer, “rich, queer, too much time on his hands since same sex marriage got fixed.”  Um, why is Ian sounding so put out with the guy without even meeting him?  What’s this superiority complex?  

Later Ian walks into GJ church HQ and he’s limping, but I don’t think it’s a continuity error, I think they probably just had him film scenes out of order that day and I think he went a little too hard, LOL.  Anyway, the GJ kids applaud and Geneva hugs him-she’s into it, he’s not.  At the HQ they’re making silk screen shirts with Ian’s face and Gay Jesus signs.  Geneva is once again spouting out statistics, saying how wildly popular the movement is, 77,000 followers in the past five days-One Direction at their height was gaining popularity around the globe like that, not this Gay Jesus shit.  Ian doesn’t seem to be listening too closely to what she’s spewing, and when two body-builder women walk by he asks Geneva who they are.  She says they’re part of the lesbian legion from an MMA gym and adds, “Your gays turned out to be too sweet to handle security.”  Whatever-they keep trying to act like there’s all this dynamic action happening off screen-NO ONE CARES since all we ever see is Ian moping around, looking like Cameron has a headache.

Next time we see Ian he’s walking around outside in his red kicks (really wish we knew the significance of those-are they supposed to be like Jesus’ sandals?  What happened in the cut scene where he left them in the aisle last season?  I only want to know because the show seems to think they mean SOMETHING)-anyway, where’s Ian going?  Why?  We’re never told-great storytelling this ain’t, kids.  A van slows up next to him and a guy leans out and says, “You’re Ian, right?  Gay Jesus?”  How did the guys in the van know where Ian would be walking?  Do they just circle the Gay Jesus church hoping he’ll come out?  Again, we’ll never know.  The guy continues, “I’ve been watching your videos with my friends.  The burning vans, the sermons-it’s inspiring.”  Ian says thanks.  The guy says, “You really think that’s what Jesus was teaching?”  Ian says, “Inclusion, love, acceptance for all?  Yeah, absolutely.”  Then the van guy says, “You don’t think God sees homosexual bestiality as a sinful perversion of His divine creations?”  Ian’s confused, says, “What?”, sees the sliding panel door of the van open, and takes off running, jumping over fences and at some point in his getaway, pulling some muscle in his tight jeans.  

Next time we see Ian he’s sitting alone in the Gallagher kitchen nursing a beer and his thigh.  (No Bible this time-no sign of his pills either.)  Lip comes in and asks him if he’s okay and Ian says he maybe pulled a hamstring running from homophobes.  Lip says, “I guess there’s nothing new about that, right?” and you wonder just when he stopped caring so completely about his brother.  

Ian doesn’t bother to answer, sips his beer instead.  After a minute he quietly asks Lip, “Think you could do hard time?” Lip: In prison?  Uh...rather not.  I: Gay Jesus kids don’t want me to cop a plea.  Want me to take it to trial.  Get as much publicity for the cause as I can. L: What’s your lawyer say? I: Could be looking at 10-15 if I don’t take a deal.  (Me at home, screaming at the TV: WHAT ARE THE CHARGES?  WHY CAN’T THEY EVER TELL US ANYTHING?  WHAT ARE THEY SAYING YOU DID THAT’S ON PAR WITH MICKEY’S BULLSHIT ATTEMPTED 2ND DEGREE MURDER SENTENCE????)

Lip, rather than saying ANYTHING to the brother he’s closest to about maybe not giving up his entire young adulthood to a cause, not saying something like, “You’d be older than the real Jesus got to live till by the time you get out”, not saying if he thinks Ian’s an idiot if he’s even questioning doing hard time in a bad place, no, rather than that, he takes his coffee out of the microwave and comes around the counter to the same side as Ian and says, “You ah, hearing from Shim again?” I: Sometimes.  (Me at home: WHAT?  WHEN?  What does that look like when it happens?) L: Well, what does Shim think? I: Unclear.  (Oh, Ian, are you kidding me?  All this time you thought you were talking to god but you’ve just been playing with a Magic 8 Ball?) L: Xan’s mom showed up today.  (Guess we’re done talking about Ian then!)  She’s a junkie.  Hookin’... I: What are you going to do? L: I don’t know. I: Maybe you should try asking Shim. L: Maybe.  

End scene.  So again, we get tantalizingly close to a discussion about what might be going on inside Ian’s head-is he getting it?  That the Gay Jesus movement is just using him at this point?  Or does he really think going to prison as the highly recognizable face of said movement is going to work out somehow-other than him not dying a painful and brutal death?  And why can’t Lip give enough of a shit to at least ask him not to go?  Fuuuuuuck.  

Next Ian’s back at GJ HQ.  Geneva comes in and says she didn’t see him come in.  He says he came in the back-all the hugging and applause when he comes in the front is kinda weird.  Since Geneva is the only one who ever hugs him, I hope she’s getting the hint.  He’s looking over the “Free Gay Jesus” posters.

Ian: What is this? Geneva: Couple of the arty kids are working out a few ideas for if you do end up in prison. I: Couple assholes in a van chased me last night.  Apparently they’re not very big fans of my interpretation of Bible verse. G: Fuckers.  I’ll get you a couple of lesbian legion body guards.  They’d love nothing more than to a chance to stomp homophobes.  (Because, yeah, THAT was Jesus’ message.) Ian holds up a Che Jesus shirt with an unintentionally hilarious graphic of him wearing a beret-Showtime probably thinks fans want to buy them (I wrote these notes before Steve Howey tweeted he wants one last night.  It got less than a thousand likes, and I bet that number would be less than half if Cam hadn’t replied).  

I: Think any of this is gonna end up making a difference? G: Ian, you’ve given thousands of gay and lesbian teenagers a voice.  (Insert Mickey gif of “Not really tho” here.)  You’ve inspired us to stand up and fight for ourselves.  

So much wrong with so much of that.  First of all, is Geneva LGBT?  She was a runaway who ran away from having to give blowjobs, right, not because her parents kicked her out for being LGBT?  And she’s been crushing on Ian since Day 1, so, probably not “L”, and Wells clearly doesn’t believe in “B”, so who is Geneva to say “us”?  And next, IF Ian/Gay Jesus has given kids “a voice”, what is he saying for them-are the teens really into his whole “Jesus was a junkie”, “my god is non-binary” shouting that they haven’s shown since last year?  Don’t teens get bored and move on to the next thing when their idols aren’t doing anything new?  Lastly, she says they are standing up and fighting for themselves-where, when, how?  

I: Know what I was thinking when I was running away from those bastards?  (Me at home: NO!  We never know what you’re thinking!  That’s the whole damn problem with your storylines!)  It’s been 2000 years since Jesus died on the cross and I’m still running for my life down an alley because I fall in love with men instead of women.  (No, Ian, you’ve only ever loved one (1) man-fucking admit that for once and then get on with your life.  That line should’ve been “have sex with”, no one deserves to be chased down for that either, and it wouldn’t have made me exasperated with Ian over the whole “love” thing, which is a separate issue this show fucking needs to handle before it’s all said and done with Ian.)  

Then one of the GJ kids comes in to report there’s a bunch of Nazi’s keeping people from getting to one of the polls and we don’t see Ian again this episode. But again, I hope that they’re finally having him wake up to the fact that NO ONE cares about him.  The family has washed its hands of him, the Gay Jesus followers WANT him to go to prison (and probably die) and be a martyr for the cause.  Time to ask yourself who is the only person who ever looked at you and actually saw you there, Ian.  The only person to look you in the eye and say, “I love you.”