#theres also the part when he gets back to the shire and one of the hobbits asks who is the thorin oakenshield he swore to follow

[arminreindl]

Pallimnarchus and Paludirex: A History of the Swamp Kings

This is only part one of a two part series, ecology and anatomy will be discussed in part 2 because theres just too much history to cover.

Paludirex is a fascinating genus with a complex history. You see, while it was only named 3 years ago, it actually serves as a direct successor to the first fossil croc to have been described from Australia, all the way back in 1886.

Back then, a certain Charles Walter De Vis discovered a multitude of croc fossils in Queensland, specifically the Darling Downs region. Now with all due respect, while De Vis was definitely an important researcher...some of his work doesn't really hold up. In the case of these specific fossil remains, we now know that the fossils belonged to multiple specimens and at least THREE different species. De Vis also straight up admitted that he was not very familiar with Cenozoic crocodiles, which is why he didn't name it....well, sorta. De Vis did in fact not describe a new genus that much is true, however, he did give the material the name Pallimnarchus pollens. De Vis explains that he did so out of convenience and to some degree its understandable. It's always easier to refer to an animal by name than the specimen number, like the Darling Downs Taxon we'll discuss in part 2. But by making it sound like a proper scientific name, De Vis kinda set things up to get messy later.

Charles Walter De Vis (left), multiple fossils originally attributed to Pallimnarchus including those now attributed to Quinkana in B (right)

Sure De Vis only meant for Pallimnarchus to be an unofficial name, but subsequent authors didn't exactly bother ammending that fact. Instead, more and more research was published referring material of Australian crocodiles to Pallimnarchus without further question. This largely went unchecked until 1982, when famed Australian paleontologist Ralph Molnar chimed in. Molnar recognized the issues with Pallimnarchus and, in an effort to clear things up, decided to do what should have been done long ago. He picked out the best fossil of De Vis' collection, a lower jaw, designated it as the lectotype and described it in full to establish how it differed from other crocs of the region. Sadly, Molnar was a couple of years too early. In 1982, there were only four crocs to compare it to. The Saltwater Crocodile, the Freshwater Crocodile, the New Guinea Crocodile and Quinkana. What Molnar couldn't have known is that only 8 years later, the fossil record of Australian crocs would change forever with a sudden boom of research describing a plethora of new forms, the Mekosuchinae. So while Molnar's comparisson was adequate for the time, it soon turned out to just not be enough.

Ralph Molnar (left), the lectotype of Pallimnarchus with the only still known material highlighted (right)

Aside from scientists naming a metric shit ton of other crocodiles from the continent, three other important things happened during the 80s and 90s. Firstly, we finally found more good Pallimnarchus fossils. Remember, the De Vis fossils were largely a collection of random, unrelated fossils, the lectotype a partial lower jaw and the only good cranial fossil was the Lansdowne Snout, which people constantly argued over whether or not it was Pallimnarchus or simply a salty. But now we got two pretty great fossils. There is the Mirani Shire Skull, certainly the lesser of the two because someone encased the entire top half in concrete (thanks for that). And then there's the Dalby Specimen, better known as Geoff Vincent's Skull, an incredibly informative collection of skull fragments of a single individual and probably one of the best fossil of this animal.

The second major thing to happen is that in 1997, Molnar teamed up with Paul Willis, who basically had a hand in nearly every described mekosuchine, and once again reevaluated Pallimnarchus. The main takeaway of their work was that they now recognized a second species which they dubbed Pallimnarchus gracilis.

And then there's the third thing. The lectotype was lost and only a small fragment was ever found again. Things were not looking good.

A photograph of Paul Willis (left) and multiple older images of Geoff Vincent's skull (right)

More and more mekosuchines were described in the 2000s, yet things went mostly quiet around Pallimnarchus. The redescription insufficient, the lectotype lost, it had essentially landed in taxonomic limbo with no clue whether or not the name itself was actually valid.

Enter Jorgo Ristevski. Somewhat of a rising star in Australian fossil croc research, Ristevski and several other authors (including Molnar) published a paper meant to finally deal with the issue of Pallimnarchus. Their conclusion, well, sadly Pallimnarchus is a nomen dubium. It's not really a shock given that none of the previous papers ever established any actually unique traits and no such traits could be found in what little remains of the lectotype, but it was an important step none the less. So what now, this historically important genus with countless of referred specimens is no more. Well, thank fuck we got Geoff Vincent's skull.

Yes, with how well preserve that fossil is, Ristevski and colleagues managed to use it to establish a new genus that was meant to serve as a successor to Pallimnarchus, effectively meant to house the material previously assigned to the dubious genus. To honour the legacy of Pallimnarchus, they named this new genus Paludirex, both names translating to "swamp king". Of course with so much material, it was hard to evaluate everything. But there's some key finds. In addition to the Geoff Vincent's skull, both an isolated snout fragment and the Mirani Shire skull could be attributed to Paludirex vincenti, the new type species. Ristevski also confirmed the validity of Pallimnarchus gracilis (now Paludirex gracilis), tho restricting it to two fossils found in the Riversleigh WHA. Furthermore, earlier this year Ristevski was also able to confirm that the Lansdowne Snout belonged to Paludirex as well.

Jorgo Ristevski with the skull of Baru (left), skeletal reconstruction of the skull of Paludirex vincenti (right)

That does still leave a lot of material of course. Since Pallimnarchus was defined based on its lower jaw, and Paludirex has no lower jaw material to speak of, we can't actually confirm if any of the former Pallimnarchus mandibles are referrable to Paludirex. This lack of overlap also creates the fascinating hypothetical that, should we rediscover the lectotype and lower jaw material associated with Paludirex material, then it may be possible that the two become synonyms once more....or that we had two animals on our hands all along. But first we would need to find more material and that may still take a while.

[ko-odi]

I'm the guy who submitted the anon ask before (where u drew me a pic of Drake, thank u so much I will cherish it for the rest of my life!!!) and I'm in need of some Haunted headcanon inspo for a dnd game I'm trying to run soon!! Tell me some of ur headcanons, no matter how obscure, small, or seemingly insignificant

SRY THIS TOOK SO LONGGGG i. forgort BUT HERE R A FEW !!! :D some of these are my own and some of these are me parroting things ive heard from the haunted discord that i love (u should totally join the discord btw its fun i can give an inv to anyone not already there if anyone wants one!!)

-Drakes issues regarding tone and reading the room, such as 1) his default mode of speaking being thru sarcasm (no hes really not always trying to be rude, thats just how he communicates 😭), and 2) cracking jokes or quips at inappropriate times (like when graysons house was burning down and drake was all like “wow grayson sure does love his secret hatches lawl” and “he should really rethink his escape routes for next time haha!” like drake this is NOT THE TIME). Im not saying hes NOT sassy or rude (because he totally is <3) but like. its not ALWAYS ON PURPOSE OK LMAO he is autistic 🫶

-somewhat related to this is that i hc that he says cheesy lines like “erm… hes RIGHT behind me isnt he” and “um guys, you MIGHT wanna take a look at this…” all the time, and he does so bcs he repeats phrases hes read in books (or from movies/shows he saw before traveling to the future or whatever) a lot. either that or he just Says That Stuff which is almost funnier

-drakes sleeping schedule SUCKS dude and a big parta that is cuz enderman are nocturnal and his internal clock is all messed up. (the water up on his mountain canonically helps him sleep tho im pretty sure?)

-his bodys kinda awkward to move around in, and hes always tripping over his feet or bumping into stuff (hes just like me fr….)

-this ones odd, but the subspecies of enderman that drake is fused(??) with have rings all over their body that they use to light up dark areas (such as caves), and to communicate (blinking lights like fireflies, bright flashes to intimidate others, are dim when sick, etc). Theyre able to control this using their natural magic or whatever. HOWEVERRR drake is unable to control his himself! His rings are stuck at a set brightness, and he cant “turn them off”, leading him to always be expelling a small but steady amount of magic. This is part of why he runs out of mana faster than other magic users/enderman, and is part of why he tries not to waste his mana when possible.

-related to above, hes not ab magic doesnt last very long, but is very volatile and powerful in bursts. this is the OTHER reason he doesnt use magic willy nilly .. he has to learn how to harness it properly or else he might end up hurting people by accident (this might literally be canon but i thought id mention it anyway)

-in the haunting one, hes always stating things abt himself that we never actually get to see (like when he calls himself the builder, or good at parkour, or when armen said that he had a problem with breaking windows???? 😭) so i like to think that those are just collins memories slipping thru the cracks, and those memories dont rly belong to/are about drake at all. theres probably other shared fuzzy memories he has from collin too (like ruby shire perhaps) so thats super fun to play with!! I think this might actually be also canon but yk

-ARMEN iiii love this guy ok so i love to hc that, after hes revived/saved (IF you want to go that route!), he comes back not dead, but not quite alive either…. hes like sorta half and half to me lol. or maybe hes alive, but coming back to life has some side effects (like being cold all the time for example). Hes also suuuper sleepy all the time after hes saved LET HIM SNOOZE dude.

as much as it pains me, I also love the hc that armen comes back with his memory wiped (i think this is close to where the intended canon was supposed to head as well!). You can either go the “his memory is totally wiped, which effectively makes him a new person” route, the “his memory is wiped back to the fall into the lava, right before HB possessed him” route, or the “his memory gets wiped to before HB was involved in his life whatsoever” route. I like all 3 options aaaah idk what my favorite is!!! i’ll probably talk in depth abt these in a different post later bcs the fact that it adds more parallels between him and collin/drake makes me insane. either way he will sometimes have unexplainable deja-vu and things will feel familiar to him.

-armen is super cold all the time (always wearing sweaters and stuff) while drake is super warm all the time (always wearing thin clothes. but this is cuz hes always expelling some sorta magical energy involuntarily, so when he runs outta mana he gets cold as well) this isnt important or anything i just like it :3c

-i like to think that despite his affinity towards it before the fall, he tries to avoid combat & conflict when possible post-possession/revival. very “uhh im a lover not a fighter haha ..” (<- could kick your butt if he tried) vibes. or maybe he lost all combat ability post revival and totally sucks now !! either way man just wants to chill (he is traumatized)

-MIA shes lowkey scared of being on the water after her and her sisters shipwreck, the day she was captured by the empire. she probably slips back into familiarity when they take over that airship one time tho- maybe she gets an airship of her own in the future o:? haunted group sky pirate crew when 🤨???

-along with magic, she also GETS INTO ALCHEMY/CHEMISTRY !!! its like.. magic ??? without needing to provide any ACTUAL magical power yourself?? thats so fucking sick ok. She and drake do magicy-sciencey experiments together and they end up blowing stuff up a lot. despite what drake says, they BOTH enjoy the chaos.

-mia and armen would be BEST. FRIENDS. i think abt mia armen friendship literally all the time they would be so chaotic and thoughtful with each other i love mia armen friendship sm. maybe mia helps style his hair like hers since its grown out later :] They are so sibling core to me

-related to both yhings above, she shares her love of learning with armen. They learn tons of random stuff together :D chemistry archeology history magic biology etc. Mia loves learning anything she can get her hands on, and armen feels the need to learn everything he missed while he was gone.

(sidenote: if he comes back with completely wiped memory, him learning all different sorts of subjects is him trying to figure out what he enjoys, and who he is as a person. “building himself up from ground zero”. and mias glad to help ): <3)

-grayson my GUY dude ok. not rly a hc and more of an observation but i loooove how hes so serious and pessimistic all the time but hes also like…. friendly (yet distrusting) and silly (devouring and entire cake and being all like “:D” with a flower crown and slimey friend) like idk i just looav that contrast its yummy. cruel world forcing his joyous whimsey into hiding </3

-finds a sickening comfort in loneliness, while also being deeply afraid of it. no it is not healthy. i might have to describe this later, as ive not found the words to do so yet.!!! maybe others can add onto this if they wish :)))

-His wife was fucking awesome ok. She was totally anti-empire and wrote many pamphlets that hurt the emperor & his followers image under an anonymous name that spread around the public like wildfire. Did she initially start dating grayson to get more info on the empire without his knowledge? Was she herself high up in the empires chain of command, helping get grayson the job in the first place? Did grayson know and help his wife with her endeavors(im leaning towards yes but no would be fun)? idk but she was awesome and they committed treason together and were in love

-idk if im totally down with the idea, but graysons wife and/or kid ending up being ALIVE…. MANNN THAT COULD BE SO GOOD. SO DRAMA INDUCING. GRRRR i wanna play with this later

-if i start talking abt drake and grayson friendship i will not shut up about it so ill keep it BREIF ….. they are ambiguously romantic/perhaps queerplatonic to me. they dont care abt labeling what they are, partially bcs they CANT. they r life partners who hold hands and find comfort in the others consistency and the stability their friendship brings. grayson calls drake his “darling husband” for shits and giggles and drake glares at him (while very obviously smiling). OK WE’RE DONE ..

-none of them are allocishet sorryyyy (<- not actually sorry at all) i can list out my queer hcs later if anyone wishes smile :))

-collin, luke, and lalea are still cooking in my head .. i dont have that many hcs abt them qwq i suggest looking to APPLE @apple-rose301 FOR THESE GUYS (she said i could @ her for this) and for any character hcs and analysis stuff tbh, their thoughts are basically canon to me /pos . would also love to hear EVERYONES THOUGHTS AND ANALYSES AND HCS EVER !!!! so if anyone sees this … u should totally list out ur own thoughts :)))) PLEASR PLEASEPLEA

i also have more thoughts on each character analysis wise, specifically the contrasts and parallels they have with each other and themselves, but that might be putttt into a different postttt

OH also sry for being more drake focused i loav drake he is my favorite guy ever ever .!! I HOPE THESE FEW LITTLE THOUGHTS ARE ALRIGHT THO TYSM FOR ASKINNGGGG (ALSO IM GLAD U LIKED THE DRAWING TYY) AND ALSO ID LOVE TO HEAR MORE ABT THIS DND CAMPAIGN HELLO ???

[ninjakitty15]

Chapter 7: Ain’t Nothing But A Horned God (Loki x OFC Pairing)

"You know, super strength and natural parkour aside, that kid is really living up to his second identity," I mused as Peter popped in right after Loki and I got dressed in our daywear clothes and were about to binge watch the Orville.

"Why do you say that?" Loki asked, eyeing Peter as well.

"If you get rid spiders the humane way and just release them into the wild again, they will still find their way back in. Hand me that newspaper over here, I can fix that."

"I thought you said he was cute, isn't that a term of endearment?" he teased.

"He lost that effect when he killed the mood I was about to build up here. The fuck you want, kid?" I barked at the energetic idiot Tony loved so much.

"Mr. Stark's not here?" Peter squeaked.

"Hell if I know, ask Friday or better yet, beat it."

My trying to get rid of the kid seemed to somehow have the exact opposite effect I had hoped for, not unlike when a person that can't deal with cats walks into a room with one in it, that cat will instantly greet the hapless person and never leave them alone. Peter apparently grew a pair and turned his attention on me specifically, seeing as he apparently had met Loki while I was in captivity.

"So you're one the team now, huh? Where you from?"

I blinked at his sudden confidence. "Lynn, Lynn, the city of sin," I sang the old tune of my town.

"Where's that?"

"Near Salem," murmured Loki beside me. "No wonder you wanted to go there yesterday, you were homesick."

"You've been in my position before I'm told so I'm guessing you know how I felt."

"Why didn't you just say so?"

"That would mean admitting I actually feel things and I'm not one to catch feels here, gross."

"Have you got a superhero name yet?" asked Peter eagerly.

"I'd have to be a hero first for that to work and I'd rather not."

"Why not, its the funnest! Get to meet all kinds of people and everything!"

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "That's supposed to convince me? Really? Tony told me you were clever too, Loki you're the god of lies, how could you let that slide? I hate people, if anything that'd push me toward antihero or even villain. Kill em all and then add em to the undead army, who's with me?!"

"You said so yourself that would take a lot of energy and convincing to make your victims part of your army," mused Loki.

"Sshh, he doesn't know that. Why are you still here if Tony's gone?" I asked Peter.

"He told me I'm welcome to hang out with the team in his absence," Peter replied confidently. "What were you two doing before I got here?"

"Having passionate s/m sex in every room we can get into, you look a bit too young to join but you're welcome to watch," I teased.

"No one gets to watch that," Loki stated stiffly. "That's for our eyes only. Don't you have homework that needs doing about this time?"

"All finished, Aunt May says I can't go out and be Spiderman till its done. Hey, Mr. Loki, Tony says you're not actually from Asgard but a planet of frost giants, is that true?"

"How astute of him to bring that up," grumbled Loki. "Yes, what of it?"

"What do Frost Giants look like?"

"Pete, hun, you don't go asking gods questions like that," I warned the kid, seeing Loki get all tense and serious. "Didn't your aunt ever tell you to stop sticking your nose in places it's likely to get broken in?"

Loki however had other thoughts though didn't look too pleased in acting on them as his once fair skin started to turn blue, green eyes became red and curious markings formed on his head and face. Peter looked absolutely excited being the obnoxiously curious kid he was but made no move nor questions and just tried to his best not to piss off the god while studying him at the same time. I however couldn't help but reach over to touch his face though he caught my wrist.

"You'll burn with frost bite if you touch a frost giant or one touches you."

"Sweety you are touching me," I noted. "My flesh is dead, hydra already tried extreme temps on me, no sweat."

He quickly let go despite my reassurance in fear he was freezing me with his touch, a blackened handprint remained where he held me for a moment before my necro-magic healed it and I was back to simply being a reanimated walking dead girl. I gently touched his face, my thumb brushing over the markings.

"People seem to think red eyes always means evil here," I mused. "Yet theres a fuckton of superheroes wearing red elsewhere, Tony, this little arachnid that needs to be swatted with a newspaper, Thor's cape. Red doesn't mean evil, it means power, anyone wearing red is displaying a power move."

"You don't wear it," Loki told me.

"Weren't you listening during my many rants? I don't make a habit of displaying what I'm capable of, that totally gives me away before I can even attack. It's all about subtlety, something spiderling here needs to work on before asking gods sensitive questions." I glared at the kid who had the grace to look a little ashamed, it was almost cute. At that point, just for funsies, I snatched the newspaper on the coffee table, quickly rolled it up and started smacking the poor boy with it. "Bad spider!" Peter made little move to defend himself though didn't seem too bothered by being whacked by a dead woman either.

"Don't break him or Tony will kick you out," Loki warned though I could tell he was just as amused by my antics as I was smacking around Peter.

"Dude can catch a bus with his bare hands while some people can barely catch them on their feet, he's fine. Ain'tcha kiddo."

"Stop calling me kid, I'm a teenager," mumbled Peter.

"Which is just another term for a kid that thinks they're an adult so really you're not helping your case here. It's adorable how easy it is for you to dig your own grave, even if it with a beach shovel."

"Maybe he's more likely to break you if you keep teasing him," Loki noted.

I arched an eyebrow at him. "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

At the reference, Peter seemed to perk up again. "You've seen those movies?"

"Sweety, I might have been locked up for 5 years but even I know that everyone's seen at least one of them that's still alive."

"Why were you locked up, are you a criminal?"

"What did I tell you about asking sensitive questions, Loki, give me back my spider smasher."

"She was kept by Hydra, no you will not be beating on Tony's favorite project, especially not when there's surveilance everywhere in the tower."

I rolled my eyes at Loki and glared at him. "Meaniepants."

"Do all necromancers look like you?" Peter piped up.

My glare shifted to him then. "Look like me? You really wanna go there? I might be dead but I can still kick your ass, Spiderboy."

"It's spiderman," he grumbled.

"Not with that attitude it ain't."

He shot a web at me angrily and while I knew he never actually meant any harm and I wasn't quick enough to dodge it, I really hated spiderwebs since the first time I walked into one face first, unable to see it. Death magic rushed to the spot he hit me and essentially dissolved/rotted away whatever the hell the webs were made of so they fell apart and off me. Loki looked at me curiously while Peter looked just a little bit horrified. "Try that again, Pete, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker." My eyes went white while blackened veins popped up around them. That got Peter more than horrified and he backed away with repetitive squeaky apologies. Seeing as he got the message, my face relaxed back to its normalness. "I fucking hate spiderwebs."

"I'm curious, if that was an enemy in front of you and not Peter, what would you have done?" asked Loki.

I turned over to the god and smirked maniacally. "Point me in the direction of one and you might find out."

"You didn't do this when we raided the Hydra base the second time."

"They weren't enemies, they're minions of them. Peter you're really cute but your curiosity is harshing my buzz here, lay off on the sugar and either buzz off or calmly wait for Tony to return. You're like ice cream to me right now, so good but so not worth the brain-freeze it comes with."

"If you're always getting a brain-freeze then you're eating it wrong," countered Peter smugly.

"There's hardly a wrong way to eat ice cream, kiddo."

"Um yeah there is, any way that's not right from a cone. Surely you jest."

"Prefer it with a spoon so I don't make a bigger mess of myself than I already do...and don't call me Shirely."

"Call me biased but I believe the spoon is the better option if we're talking the same food she was wolfing down right after she moved here," Loki noted. "I can't imagine a better way to eat it out of its original tub."

"Plus you can fend off intruders and late night food thieves with a spoon, kinda defenseless since you'd eat the cone after and then you got nothing but a sticky mess to contend with," I added.

"Hold up, that was you that ate my moosetracks ice cream?" Peter squeaked.

"Tony said he bought it and therefore it was his ice cream but he also said his helado es mi helado so not yours at all. Also Thor was the one that finished it because unlike some other Asgardians, he asked nicely."

Loki scoffed and playfully glared at me with crossed arms. "I do and take what I want, there's no need for formalities." His response was a well aimed throw pillow to the face because why else would you call them throw pillows if not for their intended purpose? "Are you sure you want to do that, love?"

"Am I sure? Kinda late to be asking that after the fact, init? But seeing as it already happened, I'm gonna go with yes I am, whatcha gonna do about it?"

"I have to ask if you're sure you wanna challenge the God of Mischief like that?" Peter asked me worriedly.

"Firstly, what's with people asking me if I'm sure, of the three of us which one here is still a virgin and learning the ropes of kicking ass and taking names? Secondly, if you're calling him that based solely on Norse Mythology he's also the goddess of eight legged foals and father of a world ending snake and thus far the only thing close to those myths is the bigass snake in his pants but that's none of my business."

Loki looked beyond amused at me both calling him out on his mythology and representation of it and that not so subtle compliment that may or may not have boosted his ego to the size of Yggdrasil and all the nine realms combined. "While I'm pleased with the last statement about me, I can very much assure I'm the master of mischief, that much of the myth is 100 percent true, Thor can attest to that and any surviving Asgardians besides him that know of me."

"Just because you are known for something specific does not make you the master of it. By that logic, I'm the Goddess of Zombies."

"Hela beat you to that by at least a thousand years," Loki argued.

I glared at my lover and eyed the nearest throw pillow in contemplation, maybe I should hold it against his face gently and then apply pressure. "Sure, if there really was just one realm of gods to go with that might work in your favor."

"What do you believe in then? Where does your faith lie if not in yourself?" he challenged.

"In my life, in my experience and in my line of work there is only kind of gods I follow in faith and those are the gods of death."

Whether he caught onto it or knew my line of thought somehow or not, I couldnt tell but his next response was damn near perfect. "And what do you pray to the gods of death."

I grinned wickedly. "Not today, bitch."

"I'm hurt you wouldn't consider praying for me on your knees," purred Loki.

"The only way to get me on my knees is by taking away what keeps me standing and at the moment you've become my reason to stand these days," I replied smoothly, catching him off guard with the claim of more mortal devotion. "Would think that's obvious considering I come alive at your touch."

We stared at each other for a long silent moment, Loki looking somewhere between admiration and something else I couldn't quite place, his eyes shining like freshly cut and polished emeralds. He also looked torn between wanting to shove me against the nearest wall and makeout or reply with a smoother, wittier comeback because this dude was as desperate to have me as he was to have the last word and prove he was the master of mischief. Men in a nutshell, doesn't matter where they're from or how hard they are to kill. Speaking of things hard to kill, the arachnaboy was still present in the room, watching the two of us verbally spar/flirt before something apparently clicked in his head and he frowned, turning toward me.

"H-how exactly would you know if I was a virgin or not?"

I cackled at his attempt to call me out and act at least a little more confident. "Elementary my dear Parker. Besides the fact you both look and act a day before you're legally of age in this country? It might have something to do with your reaction to Loki's pants snake- there it is! You look different shades of uncomfortable hearing about just the size of someone's dong. Guys usually are either confident with what they got or pretend they are long enough to snag someone to use it on and hope for the best...There's also the fact regardless of age and powers you're radiating with life unsullied, I can sense it on you. Lemme know when you are legal and I might be able to help you with that though." I winked at him, causing yet another priceless reaction from Peter and a scowl from Loki.

"I'm not overly fond of sharing."

"Don't knock til you tried it, besides, I could be six fix under by the time he's open for business, right Pete?" I nudged the poor kid with an elbow for good measure, it was too much fun messing with him.

"I'm sorry, I'm just getting so many mixed signals from you right now I gotta sit down and um wait for Mr. Stark."

I watched the kid scoot away to another room, leaving us alone for once and I grinned and relaxed, turning my attention back to Loki. "And that is how you get rid of a spider properly, if you can't kill it, make it wish it never came in."

"That whole charade was to scare him off?" asked Loki incredulously.

"He's just so precious and innocent, his ears must be burning from the naughty stuff by now. I mean yeah, if he was legal I still wouldn't mind corrupting him physically but I doubt he's got the stones to take me up on that should I be around then. Besides, there's more than one way to sacrificing a virgin these days, isn't that what you gods demand all the time?"

"I'd rather just take you on the sacrificial altar several times over till I'm the only god that can give you what you pray for," he growled.

I blinked in surprised, he was usually a little more clever and subtle in his suggestions and I somehow activated the animal in him with my incessant sexual teasing between him and Peter. "Would the couch do? I don't think the coffee table would survive despite it being solid mahogany." An uncharacteristic squeal of surprise escaped me as his response was a low growl followed closely by a master of mischief pouncing on me.

[bma-2020]

W/ONDERLAN/U/NDERLAND DIVERGENCY

            Now much of this divergency stems from varying factors, the main being: A: while the first movie had a good storyline, it didn’t delve as deep as it could have. B: obviously, certain actors have done some things so for my editing capabilities, i had to change his fc. C: I’m someone who very much likes to take a base and work beyond what i know the company would ever give, which is why i take the base of burtonverse and the game, as well as companion guide, and move beyond that. D: My blog is very much based in a verse where a spell happened and all the animals are no longer animals, which screws with people. and E: because ttlg was a hot mess on the major scale and as someone who half finished her own sequel to the first movie, barely acknowledge ttlg’s existence beyond regular whining.

            So in the essence of the changes i’ve taken, both for my blogs purpose to keep the b/urtonverse name… possible, but also for my own safety since i’ve dealt with people coming at me for something that isnt my fault, isn’t related, or otherwise just shows that theres a lot of uneducated adolescents on this website that actually believe telling people to kill themselves either for differing opinions or lack of knowledge on a topic or person, i’m severely trying to avoid dealing with those people. So this is a wild mesh of thoughts not put together anywhere nearly as well as it could be, but im doing my best with my limited amount of free time and non chemical thought process as i am capable.

            now nobody cares abt that stuff so lets get into the changes, rewrites, and divergency, shall we?

            Now in my Underland (Which I know is different from Wo/nderland, but i do still think having it not be called w/onderland was a stupid idea therefore my calling it wonderland is both shade and because i type it quicker) its been several years since Alice’s visit (probably a lot less for her, if even a year, Gina had this cool time post for s/yfy alice that i keep alive every few months by regularly reblogging it so I’ll probably go find that and bring it back again later. ) and there’s been a magical outbreak– things creeping up which had long been deceased, spells cast to make nearly all the animals humanoid (the horses werent lucky enough, and it didn’t effect ches/hire because chesh already had a human form, and the capability to transform into whatever he pleased to a point), and it screws with a lot of minds for awhile, but something about being humanoid felt familiar to Mally.

            Now, something which they never fully explained was how everyone knew each other. The game hints at them all knowing each other for awhile, many factors hint at St/ayne being a heavy influencer in the game, and likely having done something to the Queens relationship ( which, of course, was all dropped in the sequel because god forbid they give crispin more money), and i refuse to believe what ttlg gave us was anything close to what it actually was (especially with the lack of stay/ne, who played such a major role in the first movie that it makes no sense for him not to be in their past)

            this is gonna be long, and be depth for a lot of characters. A good deal of Stay/ne by my opinions and headcanons can be read on my sta/yne sideblog (illosovic) in his about, and that blog is mostly just me whining abt ttlg but whatever. Most else can be read here, but i will touch on st/ayne some here, too.

TEA TRIO

            Obviously the part most people care about, and with the face i actually chose for S/tayne, Sebby is not only one of the better actors to play a hatter imo (i legitimately only watched ouat for him ngl) even though he has done it before, i do feel like in the version i adapted from b/urtons and the hatter we had from b/urton anyways, seb could pull off the personality fluctuations as well as the insanity best. I was honestly torn on the alternate for a long time because i didnt want to use someone who’s played a hatter before, but all in all, who better to play a hatter than someone who has played a hatter and absolutely killed it.

            anyways, the actual important part of this is, Everything ttlg had regarding mally in the past, that shiz aint real here. M/allymkun was born shortly before the R/ed Queen took over W/onderland, after her biological father was framed as a war criminal, her mother turned her into a mouse, and abandoned her in a clearing the forest by Witzend, and after the King and Queen already died, and Mi/rana was set to take over. I actually see it as Mirana hadn’t been Queen for that long before I/racebeth took the crown, because the longer M/irana was Queen, the less sense the story makes in my opinion, which I will get into.

            Thackery is actually who found Mally, and that was after the H/ightopp residence had been burned down. Mally never learned about Hatter’s former name, at least not until C/heshire told her, because she never knew him as anything but Hatter.

            Whilst out looking for something that could be of help to them (Years before the Oraculum was found), Thackery came across a tiny thing left alone beneath a large leaf. She was extremely tiny, frail, didn’t seem like she’d survive long. Neither of them were sure of her species yet, but Hatter took to taking care of her. She was raised by the Hatter and the Hare, and much of who she is comes from the two of them.

            As with the fact she didn’t know either Queen, nor Sta/yne prior to Irace/beth’s takeover, Mallymkun never really came to know what the real personality of any of them was. She knew Ira/cebeth was evil, St/ayne was her lapdog, and M/irana was the truest good, because that is what Hatter told her. Hatter raised her, Hatter trained her, and the main reason Mally knew Miran/a could have the potential of acting just as bad as her sister was because she saw a moment in which Mira/na went dark. But she believed Mir/ana had to be the better ruler, because Hatter said so!

            Each held their own capabilities, T/hackery with his minor Telekinesis (often used only with teacups, but occasionally bolders as well.), Hatter with his ability to conjoin objects in his mind, as long as they were able to fit together (worked brilliantly with creating delicacies in food, something both he and Th/ackery could do) but Mally wasn’t like that. She had none of the gifts they possessed, which led to Hatter teaching her much more fighting techniques, Thackery as well, until she had to start teaching herself the rest. Her physical capabilities go far beyond that of most of those in Won/derland, in spite of her small size. (only grew stronger when she got bigger.

           Mally had once gone undercover in the Red Kingdom, which she doesn’t entirely remember. An accidental mishap caused her to turn humanoid then, and St/ayne quickly figured out who she was– hard not to when she looked so much like her mother. He’d taken to manipulating her, which she fell for for a time, even developing a slight crush on St/ayne himself, though she saw his true nature not long after, and more of a fear grew from that.

C/HESHIRE CAT

There actually aren’t many changes to the C/heshire Cat, or many additions I’ve made personally (my friends who write him do a far more beautiful job of that.) I do include the reference in the book, however, where The Du/chess views the Che/shire Cat as her pet. Whilst C/hesh doesn’t see himself as her pet, he does take advantage of her spoiling of him. C/heshire also wasn’t exactly effected by the spell, since he already could transform into a humanoid form, as well as copy others. 

THE RE/D KNAVE 

Il/osovic S/tayne, has the most changes I’ve made next to mally. Mostly due to the fact that his character, in my opinion, was extremely underused. With all the hints and inferences made for his character, they didn’t really deliver. He could easily have been the real main villain, much of what happened could easily have been caused by him, much of which I have here, though I do have to make edits to that. 

Mainly, I view Sta/yne as the whistleblower. he purposely ensured the rift already forming between the siblings grew worse, he set them up against each other, he was behind every bit of the plot, or encouraged it forward, just to ensure he had a shot at whichever queen became superior. He lost with M/irana, he wasn’t going to lose with Irace/beth. He couldn’t stand being around Ir/acebeth, but like hell was he gonna let her know that. He’d flirt, he’d manipulate, and he’d slyly degrade her until she felt like she needed him. He emotionally manipulated her to the point he was in control, and he wasn’t planning on letting that control slide.

He was also, at one point, friends with Hatter. St/ayne was a poor boy growing up, but Ta/rrant hardly judged him, but as St/ayne grew bigger, jealousy over how his sister was treated with love, whilst his mother harmed him, his brother was popular and he was ignored, and his growing desire to gain so much power, nobody could hurt him again, that forged a rift in their friendship. By the time they were adults, and Sta/yne already hurt M/irana, he encouraged the destruction of Hatter’s village and family, shattering whatever bond they formed as kids, as well as ensuring Hatter knew what pain was. Something, he felt, he did not know.

WHI/TE RABBIT

Whi/te Rabbit, by contrast, is starkly different. M/cTwisp is an agent of Time, fulfilling his role as the guide to Alice, and M/cTwisp is likely older than most others– though, in some situations, he hardly realizes it himself. His only responsibility is to guide Alice to her destiny, each time the clock turns. Sometimes, when a new Alice is born, he forgets himself, practically reborn in the moment. He’s a stopwatch given to him by Time itself, allowing M/cTwisp to temporarily freeze Time in a moment to accomplish a task, and the time traversement of Wonderland’s portals through other realms (many of which transfere through M/cTwisps own halls), Time never passes for M/cTwisp. Not in the sense it does for others. Whilst months would pass for a normal creature who left Wonderland and returned a week later, hardly a day would pass for M/cTwisp. Time always occurs as a constant for him, no matter how it occurs for others. He is also capable of traversing to exact points in Upperland’s time should he need to. 

MOCK TURTLE

    An extremely apathetic man, the Mock Turtle was never entirely a turtle, and never entirely anything else. He longed for the days he was in the sea, until he was cursed to live between lands. A ‘teacher’ in a way, though his version of school far different than others are accustomed to. He ‘taught’ the Queens, but eventually was sent off back to the sea by the King for disrespecting M/irana during a lecture, mostly for stating she hadn’t the heart to be a Queen, she barely had the heart to swim in the sea. He had been particularly kind to Ira/cebeth, however.

THE CATERPILLAR

A//bsolem, the wise. Many view him as the all knowing in Wonderland, yet many still only hear him talk in riddles and puzzles. Mallymkun really hates the way he talks, tbh. She hates how he makes a point to make it so you have to figure something out on your own. But, she likes how his words can be taken wrong and prove her point, even if her point is actually wrong. 

DODO BIRD

Uilleam held full belief in Alice, and, after narrowly escaping the Jub Jub bird, would later return to his post as a mentor in the W/hite Queen’s court. A nobleman, he’s seen as wise, often kind, though he holds the mentality that nobody should have to lose for one to win– something that kept him from fighting in the war at the start. He is extremely good with kids, but many adults tend to dislike him, except when he takes their side. In certain situations, however, he will state that there needs to be a winner, which is what led to him finally taking part in the resistance, and helping to take the R/ed Queen down. 

BAYARD

The most loyal of beings, Ba/yard was forced to serve the R/ed Queen for a great deal of time, but only so he could protect his wife and pups. M/allymkun used him as a sort of horse due to her size at the time, and he hadn’t minded. Often, he comes over to Mally, acting much like a father figure to her, as he does on occasion with Alice. Ba/yard cares far more for people than he likely should, but would risk anyone else for the safety of his kids and wife, whom he holds in the highest of regards. 

THE QUEENS

The tart thing was the stupidest thing i’ve ever seen, i’m just pointing that out right now. I believe there was a rift long before any incident. I/racebeth’s accident wasn’t M/irana’s fault, and M/irana never meant to be malicious to her sister. Ira/cebeth was spoiled when she was young, but when M/irana was born, most of her parents attention went to her– and I/racebeth was left mostly to her tutors, trying to raise her to being a good queen. 

S/tayne was initially attracted to M/irana, though he played nice with both princesses. When they were younger, S/tayne had started courting M/irana– though, it was kept private, the lowly stable boy (though, eventually gaining a promotion to a knight, with the held of M/irana) being considered too lowly for a princess. Though, S/tayne often had a wandering eye, and betrayed M/irana– which led to her lashing out on him, and causing his loss of an eye.

He kept his position, having glamored his way into the hearts of the princesses parents (a gift which ran in his family– he could bewitch and charm others into falling in a form of love with him, trick them into adoring him, manipulate to new bounds.) M/irana never trusted him again. The eye was ruled as an accident on assignment, and the rumors of Mi/rana’s mistreatment of a man she wasn’t officially with (S/tayne, spreading the rumor that a woman flirted with him, and whilst he hadn’t responded, the disastardly princess was so filled with jealously over not getting her way for once, she harmed him for it. ) grew, and he ensured I/racebeth would learn his version. 

I/racebeth, already feeling emotional distraught from her parents, became an easier target for S/tayne. When their parents died ,and M/irana was labeled next in line, S/tayne took it as a chance to send Ir/acebeth into a fit of rage, and have her J/abberwocky attack the H/ightopp clan, taking the crown and becoming the Queen. He also whispered the rumors of infidelity of I/racebeth’s husband to her people, ensuring Ir/acebeth would hear of the faults. The Red K/ing’s demise being an aftereffect of St/ayne ensuring Ira/cebeth thought he cheated on her with M/irana, an ultimate crime, and S/tayne made sure he was there to pick up the pieces. His adoring of her keeping his place held high, and ensured he got his way.

ALICE

breathes in, breathes out, M/ALLYMKUN DOESNT HATE ALICE!!!! NOT IN THE JEALOUSY SENSE!!! In fact, Mally’s distaste for Alice goes far beyond the stupid jealousy people think it’s about. Because, don’t forget, when Hatter said Alice was the right Alice, her treatment of Alice instantly changed– she was nice to her, she answered her questions, it was when Hatter’s life was put at risk because of Alice that Mally treated her badly again.

In the sense of my blog (and, when Mally first unlocks her powers, mostly) Alice had finally come back. Hatter missed her, and she left without a second thought. Mally didn’t like how Hatter perked up at Alice’s return, she hated how he suddenly started caring more for her than his friends, in her sights. 

She wasn’t jealous, Mally might have been in love with Tare, but she didn’t care if he didn’t fall in love with her. For flips sake, she stated directly that she thought he had a thing for M/irana, and seemed all dreamy about the idea.  You know she was shipping whitehats. 

But, Alice was just a child when Mally first saw her. Mally was training all her life to be a hero, she wanted to be the one to save Wonderland, then they found the o/raculum– and Alice was the labeled hero. Alice, upon returning, didn’t want to be the hero, and Mally hated that fact.

Mally was afraid, but she jumped at the chance to take Alice’s place as the hero. But she wasn’t allowed, she couldn’t save the world, that was Alice’s responsibility. 

And Alice only killed one creature.

And she was the hero.

Mally trained all her life for that, and she was pushed aside for Alice. Mally had been with Hatter through her entire life, she’d seen him at his lowest (including a time he couldn’t control his own actions anymore, an older headcanon of mine where he had accidentally hurt her because of his swings, which is what caused him to become so guilt ridden, he started being able to more easily be pulled from that state of mind– he didn’t want to hurt his friends ever again.) M/allymkun loved Hatter through everything, she never left him, she never left her friends, she stayed with them and she did everything she could to save them. 

But Alice was he hero.

And when Alice comes back again years later, and they’re faced against S/tayne again, Mally’s put in mortal danger.

But Hatter goes to Alice first.

not because he thinks she’s more important, Hatter weighed in the options, he thought Mally would be able to pull herself out of trouble, but Alice might not be able to. He went to Alice because he didn’t think she could save herself like Mally could. But that caused Mally to fall, and disappear for weeks while people thought she was dead. This is what broke the spell her mother placed on her, blocking her powers from being used, and keeping the rest of her family from being able to find her, but she was left abandoned, alone, and in pain, because Alice came first.

And Alice, thinking with her worlds point of view instead of theirs, thought Mally couldn’t have survived the fall. There wasn’t a way she could have lived from where she fell, and no way she could have gotten out of the water.

Mally thought they didn’t bother to look, but their search efforts were pointless.

She came back, she found out Alice said something, and she thinks her pain is Alice’s fault. If Alice wasn’t around, they could have found another way to defeat I/racebeth, they could have wom another way. Any Mally wouldn’t have had to experience pain.

Then there was the fact the marks of her father’s bloodline started appearing on her skin, marks remembered belonging to a clan that tried to destroy the royalty. Up until her father (whom nobody knows was her father), who fought for the King, was his greatest warrior, and was set to marry either M/irana or I/racebeth. He hadn’t, and her mother framed him to have killed the King and Queen. He disappeared, and the family was forever seen to be a collection of traitors.

Mally didn’t know any of that, she can’t even read to learn about further history beyond I/racebeth’s betrayal. 

People treated her differently, and she could only hold Alice responsible for that. 

Mally doesn’t hate Alice because she’s jealous of her and Hatter, she’s pissed off that Alice was (accidentally) the cause of her pain, and thinks that if Alice weren’t around, she wouldn’t have had to suffer at all.

Though, certain things started the second Mally became a humanoid– her eyes were different, but the resemblance to her mother was too strong to be ignored. It was pretty clear she was Feina’s daughter, especially to M/irana and I/racebeth– they had to see it, because they grew up with Feina, and spent a fair bit of time under her care. 

THE D/UCHESS

The D/uchess was a childhood friend of the Princesses, thought she wasn’t a royal at the time. Her mother was the former Duchess, and her father had died at a young age, shortly after her younger brother, I/losovic was born. Their mother treated her and her brother with great care, but I/losovic was treated with terrors– often beaten, no matter what he did. This was due to the work their mother took up to keep them in position, even if they no longer were wealthy as they were. Allergies were formed which led to a great deal of violence on their mothers part, and I/losovic held the closest range to her. 

Upon becoming a Duchess herself, she was always kind and well treated. C/heshire being a dear friend of hers, whom she considered her dear pet. Often she’d treat him to the greatest of delights. 

However, her friendship with the Queens had shattered overtime, due to I/losovic ensuring she held some form of hardship– he tricked the siblings into believing her horrid and evil, trying to tear the titles from their hands and steal their father from their mother. The D/uchess was banished, once the R/ed Queen took control, though she never took full stride in it. The only one who knows her whereabouts is C/heshire. 

MALLYS EXTENDED FAMILY

Her biological father, Vas Moraj. He is Gethris younger half brother, and is known to be the strongest, and most strange member of their family. The Moraj line was long known to be filled with traitors to the court, but Vas wanted to protect the royalty. He was the child of Fate, and though not exactly a deity himself, did possess far stronger powers than the rest of his family. He’d fallen in love with Feina in his youth, and had an affair with her,which led to Miseris and Mallymkun. He also raised her elder children, Seracien and Torielle, as his own. He wasn’t around when Mally and Mason were born, though, as Feina had trapped him in a pocket universe, to keep him out of her way. 

Feina Laquer Morae, an extremely powerful sorceress. She was only around 20 or so years older than the Queens, and being Wonderlands slowed aging, appeared around their age most of her life. She trained Mirana briefly in magic arts, and always tried to encourage Iracebeth not to let go of her title, that she could be the greatest queen of all, so long as she didn’t take no for an answer. A creature of chaos, and an empath, Feina held the power to force horrid memories back on a person, to force emotions on someone through touch, and held telepathy and telekinesis, among other things.  Her powers hadn’t transferred to Mallymkun nearly as much as her looks– out of all four of her children, Mallymkun held the greatest resemblance to her. 

Miseris, or Mason, for short, was raised by his uncle (whom he believed to be his father), Gethris. He was raised with the impression that his cousins, Jynx and Hayze, were his sisters, but over time, as his powers over the mind increased, he came to learn the truth. Especially when he met his elder half siblings (half cousins), and Seracien told him the truth. The rest, Mason worked out for himself, and he knew two things for sure– he was going to be one of the strongest members of his family, and when Mallymkun grew her powers, their powers combined could make them deities. 

Gethris horribly mistreated his own children, manipulating them into his own persnoal servants, and he hadn’t done much better with Miseris. Gethris partnered with Feina to destroy Vas, which feina agreed once she learned Vas was intending on denying the King’s wishes, so he could marry Feina instead of the princess. Gethris only got his hands on one of the twins, however, as Feina betrayed her half of the deal before he betrayed her. A spell was placed on Mallymkun, which kept her powers hidden away, her appearance altered into a mouse-like form, and her overall existence from Gethris knowledge or ability to find. As Gethris lost his powers centuries before, he planned on using Vas children to fulfill the prophecy– for their family to ascend– only he intended on taking Miseris and Mallymkun’s powers for himself, and destroy the rest of Wonderland.

When Gethris had gotten ahold of Mally, he tortured her in attempts to unlock all of her power. Miseris eventually let her out, and she ran off, Though, Gethris is always searching, and didn’t plan to stop.

TIME, SPACE, FATE (not pictured)

each their own being. Fate defines the future, Time controls itself, and Space alters and holds between each realm. Fate chose to enhance the Moraj family through leaving a piece of themself in Vas, and create the prophecy regarding Mallymkun and Miseris. 

Time is seen more as a neutral character, caring about securing itself through the world, and keeping fate’s reign.

space is above itself, but fate decides the ultimate. 

I do have a lot of other characters and info, but that can be saved for a …shorter post…