#these books are an assault upon all logic and I am mad and angry that there is a theme park based on them that fails the ADA

[weedoccultadvice]

So like, I have been having this weird experience analyzing the Harry Potter books lately, and please indulge me while I talk about J.K. Rowling's weird writing.

My goal was simple: read the Harry Potter books to find which parts were influenced/inspired by actual magic that people do in real life. My theory was that there was a lot more magic in the earlier drafts of the books, and that she took a lot out due to fear of backlash from America's ongoing reenactment of the Satanic Panic. For instance it's quite obvious some of their magic lessons got dumbed down so that very little of what's in the books could actually be tried in real life, and I think she took out a lot of astrology.

I also wanted to do a couple errands along the way, one of which was to check and see if it's explicitly written in the books that Harry is a cis man. I'm a trans man, SO I'D KNOW. (I'm a slow reader so all I can say for now is: the FIRST book does not explicitly state Harry is cis, but if he's trans, there's some implied worldbuilding with items like the Sorting Hat that comes into play. Also I'm fairly sure the Dursleys would have gone along with him being trans because that meant Petunia could reuse Dudley's old clothes instead of having to get girl stuff. I'mma save any other explanations on the topic for a video on it.) The reason I'm doing this read-through is because I think J.K. doesn't know anything about trans people and didn't think to make sure her wizard world was trans exclusionary. AND IT TURNS OUT THAT WE TRANS MAGIC USERS HAVE A WAY OF WIGGLING INTO MOST PLACES UNDETECTED BY NORMAL MEANS.

While I was doing the re-read I encountered two sort of broad revelations:

There's a lot of old stuff in there like Latin and Greek and tradcraft stuff, but also modern magic of the more recent era... but the incorporation of modern magic cuts off somewhere before the 80s. These books read like they were written by a early 70s magician. Like they honestly read like J.K. is a magical practicioner who just didn't read any magic books written after 1972 and never discovered what Chaos Magic is, (and also, never heard of most of what happened in the Cold War). I have never found a writer, in fiction or non-fiction, more dedicated to referencing magical stuff that most magicians alive today just don't care about anymore.

J.K. Rowling's knowledge of child abuse laws and general social mores regarding treatment of children also ceased to update itself by about the 80s. I keep getting distracted by this and having to make more side-notes about corporal punishment and researching stuff like when caning was banned in England. (HInt: it was banned before Harry went to school, so in Book 1 it's fuckin weird that he assumes that Wood is the name of a cane he's about to be whipped with.) Like, this woman raised children in the modern era, she should know when canes stopped being used.

So like, when I mention that I'm doing some research in this area, this is the sort of stuff I'm reading for and the sort of stuff I'm encountering. I haven't been talking much about this journey because it seems like any time anyone brings up anything Harry Potter up whatsoever, we've got to talk about how J.K. is a terf in every other sentence. But like, y'all: I hope you slow down and re-read the books, because J.K. Rowling is a terf who is also a child abuse apologist and normalizer. She is a terf who is also a horrible fat-shamer. She is a terf who is also an ableist with a huge problem writing about mental illness. And she's a terf who's also a sexist who undermines feminism with her actual writing of female characters.

And I honestly think she double and triples down on the terf stuff so that people will only talk about that. I think it's worth talking about the fact that not only is she an awful person in the terf way, but like, every other way imaginable too. I think it's worth talking about the fact that with all the obvious biases she has, the group she CHOOSES to publicly marginaiize is trans women, and I think she makes that choice because she thinks that she'll get more allies that way. That if she wore all of her issues on her sleeve like she wears the terfness, that she'd lose a lot of allies, that a lot of prestigious charities would stop having anything to do with her. That she uses the identity of "terf" as a shield because she knows that certain people will protect a terf, and she does this specifically so people won't notice how much of a sexist, abuse apologist, ableist, fatphobe etc she ALSO is. Opinions that could lose her a lot of money and clout if people remember them enough.

She's trying to pick on who she thinks is the most unpopular kid in the class out of the hopes that the bullies in class will be her friends instead of pile up on her, but if the bullies knew what she really thought of them, THEY wouldn't even be her friends.

Also like... I just want someone else to read the actual words in these books and see what fucked-up choices she made as a writer. I think a LOT of people remembering these books are actually remembering the movies, which are way more different from the books than you might expect.

[heebiejbies]

Limerence - Chapter VII

Limerence Masterlist

Characters: Sehun, Suho, and OC (Ursula)

Warnings: This series contains mentions of assault, sexual violence, and stalking.

Word Count: 2.6k

Note: This chapter has a scene of slight sexual violence in it. Fair warning for that.

Limerence:  The state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one’s feelings.

Ursula, I am hoping you’re not too mad at me to completely ignore me. I want to talk about last night face to face. If you could come over tonight, I would really appreciate it. I want to explain my behavior and clear the air between us.

I viewed the text message from Sehun right when I woke up the next morning. I guessed I should go talk to him, especially when he took enough responsibility to say he wanted to talk about it face to face. I replied to him, telling him I’d be there around seven later in the evening after I finished some of my errands and housework I had to do.

After I washed a few loads of clothes, I carried them upstairs to put them away. As I was putting away my panties, I noticed I had a pair missing from my drawer. I looked to see if they were just under a different pair, but I didn’t see them. I emptied the basket and still didn’t find them. I went back to the laundry room to see if they got left behind, but I still couldn’t find them.

“Well, they didn’t just hop in someone’s pocket and walk off…” I had searched all throughout my room for that pair, but it was as if it had vanished. I gave up trying to find them, deciding to ask my mom if she saw them whenever she got home.

Saying I was nervous about talking with Sehun would be an understatement. After that behavior he demonstrated towards my coworkers, I had no idea what to even expect from him. I’d never seen him look so angry before. I hesitated to knock on his door, but I told myself that this was something I had to do.

“Hey, I’m glad you decided to come over,” Sehun said, inviting me into the house. 

He led me over to the loveseat and sat down. “Listen, before you say anything I just want to apologize. I have no idea what came over me last night, and I don’t know why I reacted like I did… I guess I was just jealous seeing you out with other guys. I want to protect you, Ursula. I don’t want anything to ever happen to you. After you told me what that asshole did to you, I don’t want that to happen again. I know I would never hurt you like that, but I’m scared that other guys will,” He had my hands tightly held in his as he said this. “I don’t want you to hate me, I could never,” His voice cracked, tears starting to run down his cheek, “I could never live with myself if you hated me.”

I reached out and wiped the tear from his cheek. He looked so broken, it made my heart sink. Jealousy makes people do some crazy things and seeing him break down in front of me over what he did made me feel terrible. He just wanted to protect me, was that such a bad thing?

“Listen to me sweetheart, I would never hate you over something like that. Am I a little disappointed in your actions? Yes. However, I know that you didn’t mean for it to end up that way. Thank you for protecting me, hearing that means more to me than you could ever know. Now please, stop crying.” I held his face in my hands, continuously wiping the tears he shed. He vigorously nodded his head, then wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into a hug. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, I didn’t know what to do so I just rubbed his back and told him to calm down.

“Are you going to be okay?” I asked when he finally calmed down. “I… I think so,” He sniffled, eyes red from crying. “Come here, let me help you,” I said.

I went into the downstairs bathroom, getting a washcloth out of the closet. Sehun sat on the side of the bathtub as I soaked the washcloth in cold water. I rung it out and then pressed it under his eyes. “This will get rid of the puffiness,” I told him. His body relaxed as I did this, showing that he wasn’t upset anymore.

I moved away to lay the rag on the sink, but Sehun grabbed my wrist and pulled me back towards him. I looked at him with concern, “Is everything okay?” He stood up quickly, pulling me in for a kiss. I stumbled back a few steps until my butt found the edge of the sink. This was the second time we had kissed, but something about this time felt strange. I couldn’t tell if my heart was racing for a good or bad reason. It was as if my judgment was completely clouded by his actions. His tongue ran along my bottom lip, bringing me back to reality. I turned my head away to break the kiss.

“I hate to break up the lovefest, but your phone has been ringing for five minutes, Ursula.” Sehun and I looked to see Suho leaning his head into the bathroom. I pushed past him to go see who was calling me. “Listen, I have to go. I’m sorry,” I apologized and grabbed my phone, quickly exiting through the front door.

-Sehun’s POV-

After Ursula left, I felt like I had been shot right through the heart. I kissed her, but she ran away from me. Did she… Reject me? Why did she reject me? Doesn’t she see how in love with her I am? I hurried upstairs, Suho calling after me. I ran into my room and slammed the door shut.

“Stupid stupid stupid!” I yelled as I banged my fists against the wall. I went over to my dresser and grabbed the book where I kept pictures of Ursula under. I had found most of them from her and her family’s social media pages. I had also taken a few myself and added to the collection. I shuffled through the pictures and found the one I was looking for. It was a picture I had taken one night when I was in her bedroom. Ursula was asleep and the picture was taken from the point of view of someone laying next to her. I laid down in my bed with the picture, kissing it and holding it against my chest.

“It's okay if you’re not in love with me yet. I know you will fall for me soon. I can wait… I can wait for your love, even if it breaks my heart…”

‘If she does not reciprocate your love soon, you will have to force her to realize that she does love you.’

‘Sehun, if you force yourself upon her she will never want you. Let the love organically grow, that is all you can do.’

‘Do not listen to him. He does not want Ursula to love you. He does not have your best interest in mind. I do. I know what you want and I know how you can get it.’

‘I want you to be happy too, Sehun, but I want you to think logically about this. We have to consider her feelings as well, this is not just about you.’

I groaned while listening to the voices argue with one another. At this point, all that they had done was bicker with one another. It’s driving me insane!

“Just, SHUT UP!” I yelled. The voices stopped arguing, so I sighed in relief of the quiet. I laid in bed for a few more minutes holding Ursula's picture to my chest, before deciding I needed to go take a shower and relieve the stress.

I rested my head against the cool tile of the shower, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill from my eyes. If only she could understand how much she means to me, then she would love me like I love her. I don’t know how or when, but she will love me like I love her. I just know she will.

I know she loves me. I know for a fact that she does. She just doesn't know it yet. She needs to realize that she does. Then we will be happy together.

When I got out of the shower, Suho was in my room snooping around. “What are you doing in here?” I asked. I saw that he had Ursula’s pictures in his hand, so I grabbed them from him. “Don’t touch my things!”

“Sehun what is wrong with you?! Why do you have those pictures hidden in here?” He questioned.

“That is none of you business. This doesn’t involve you!”

“I saw you last night. Coming back home from across the street. What did you do? What… Did you do something to her? Sehun, I swear if you hurt her I will do something about it. You’re like a brother to me, but you better not EVER lay a finger on her!” Despite our height difference, Suho got in my face as he said this.

“I would never do anything to her! I love her! I can’t believe you’d think I would hurt her! Why are you so concerned with her anyway? Do you love her too? Well, guess what, she loves me! Not you! She would never love you and you're just jealous that she loves me and not you! Just… Get out of my room. Get out!” He gave me a pained look, “Sehun, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but please leave Ursula alone. Don’t do anything to bring her harm,” He said, walking out of my room.

“I would never harm her,” I heard Suho’s bedroom door shut, “I’m too in love with her to do that.”

I wake up to find myself tied down. I thrash around trying to get out of the restraints, but they were too sturdy. My eyes are covered so I can’t see anything, and that makes me even more anxious. I open my mouth to call out for help, but before I could a hand covered my mouth.

“Shhh. Don’t say a word,” The person says. “Promise me you won’t say anything and I will remove my hand so you can speak.” I nod my head, and the person removes their hand. 

“Who are you?” I ask. The person chuckles and strokes my cheek. “I can’t believe you don’t know who I am, Ursula.” With that, the blindfold was lifted from my eyes.

“Sehun? Why… Why did you tie me up?” I question. I look around the room, I am in his room. There are candles lit all around the room, leaving a slightly floral scent in the room.

“I didn’t want you to run away from me, my love,” He coos, brushing my hair out of my face. “I’ve dreamed about seeing you in my bed like this, I never imagined it would come true so quickly,” He smiles. He goes over to his dresser and pulls something out of one of the drawers. He came back over to me and shows me what he has in his hand.

“What are you going to do with that?” Sehun shows me the pair of scissors he grabbed. “I’m just going to help you slip into something more… Comfortable,” He grins.

“No! No, wait!” I plead. He takes the scissors and cuts my shirt off. He then does the same to the pair of sweatpants I have on. He discards the cut clothing and stands back to look at my body.

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are right now? I’ll admit, I’ve enjoyed watching you shower, but that is nothing compared to how I feel right now. You're in my bed just for me. You’re driving me crazy, do you know that?” He takes his hands and runs them up my legs, squeezing my thigh.

“Please stop this! I’ll… I’ll do whatever you want! Just let me go, please Sehun!” He stuffs a washcloth in my mouth so I can no longer speak. The look in his eyes sends chills up my spine. He has this crazed look in his eyes, and they flashed with desire. I’ve never seen him look this way, and that petrifies me.

Sehun starts kissing down my neck, making his way down to my chest. He brings his hands and cups my breasts through my bra. “Can I remove this, love?” He asks, referring to my bra. I shake my head no, but he doesn’t listen. He takes the same pair of scissors from earlier and cuts it off, tossing it aside with the rest of my clothes. His thumbs graze over both of my nipples, his tongue darts out to wet his lips.

He climbs on the bed completely and straddles my hips. He nibbles on both of my nipples and continues kissing down my body. All I can do is whine and cry, but no matter how loud I whine or how many tears I cry, he keeps going. He stops above my underwear, “I want to hear your voice for me, baby,” He admits. He takes the washcloth out of my mouth, I immediately start stuttering, trying to beg him to stop.

“Let’s take these off, shall we? Then the real fun can begin.” He grabs the scissors again and cuts my panties, caressing them as he removes them from my body.

“No, no wait! Stop! No!”  His hand glides up my inner thigh.

“Sehun! Stop!”

“Come on, my love. You’ll enjoy this as much as I will. I know you want it as badly as I do. I promise I won’t tease you any longer.” 

“No!”

I jolted up to find myself in my own bed, Sehun nowhere around. I put my hand over my heart, it was racing faster than it ever had before and my head was pounding. I got out of bed and rushed into my bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face and took a moment to look at my appearance. I looked like a train wreck, all from a dream.

I grabbed my robe off of the back of the door, putting it on as I walked downstairs. I went into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. I found a bottle of headache relief medicine and took two pills. It was only a dream, but something in my gut told me that it was more. I went and sat on the sofa in the living room, deciding I didn’t want to go back to sleep tonight. I checked the clock to see that it was 4:32 a.m. I turned the TV on and flipped through channels, mostly just paid programs and infomercials. I stopped on The Boy Next Door, too tired to flip through any more channels. I rest my head against one of the throw pillows and let out a loud sigh.

That dream was so vivid. It’s as if I could still feel his hands running over my body. Why would I have a dream like that? Could Sehun actually be capable of that? I’ll admit, he’s a little touchy, but I don’t think he could ever do that. I mean, he was crying in my arms earlier just over the thought of me hating him. He couldn’t be capable of that… Could he?

I grabbed my phone and found the number of the one person I knew I had to talk to at this moment.

“Hey, Suho, if I woke you up I'm sorry. Can we talk for a few minutes?”