#they both know the same things. and are hiding it just from susie and feel bad

[marsbotz]

kralsei is like the weakest of the main three hero ships BUT it also has some special sauce to it that appeals directly to me in the sense that they are both bigger than the story currently and know more than theyre letting on. separately

[goomyloid]

After reading the Noelle kissing Kris manga, I just had to talk about the tearjerking and heart-warming moments about it all.

I found it adorable yet also pretty telling that it took Noelle several attempts to get the kiss right with Susie with all the preparations, and the environment being perfectly set up for them to do it, but she nailed it perfectly on her first attempt to kiss Kris in that moment, with no prior build up. I also liked what compelled Noelle to kiss Kris, was them expressing their happiness for Noelle and Susie, while also seemingly intentionally excluding themselves from the equation altogether. Which leads me to talk about tearjerking moments.

When I read it all, from the look on Kris's face, it really did feel like they were genuinely trying to exclude themselves from Noelle and Susie's happiness, while trying to do everything they could to ensure they were both happy. It's like they had a face where they were genuinely happy for Noelle and Susie, talking about how great a pair they were, but also putting up a front to hide the pain of thinking, they'd be better of if they weren't part of the dynamic, which I think Noelle pick up on.

When I look at Noelle kissing Kris I think of it as a twofold kind of thing. Noelle says she was just in a kissing mood, but I genuinely do believe she acted on her subconscious desire to show Kris that level of affection when the opportunity presented itself, especially considering she wanted to kiss them again under the impression that she didn't do it right, and also appeared to want to tell them something but stopped upon seeing Kris's blushing face.

Whereas Kris has now been made aware that Noelle does in fact have deep feelings towards them, and doesn't know how to handle the revelation. Honestly I think it's pretty awesome that for all of Kris's talk about them Noelle and Susie being great pair, and getting closer, Noelle just expressed, unintentionally or not, that she also wants to get closer to them in the same manner.

this was AWESOME to read, i felt like you put into words everything subtle i tried to convey with that comic… its perfect

i enjoy the idea that like, as much as kriselle feels like It Shouldnt Be Happening (with suselle being the obvious endgame, probably) (or just the fact that it’s “obvious” at all) it simultaneously feels like its fated or meant to be. it’s not what the story is pushing towards, but realistically, it seems like the most viable option long-term (imo). underneath all the baggage, kris and noelle are super comfortable with each other, shes the only non-family member to really understand them, and vice versa, they dont have to put up any fronts. i suppose that kind of ties into susie and noelle’s “messy highschool romance” kiss vs. kris’s and noelle’s “accidental this-has-awakened-something-in-me weirdly perfect” kiss. just the fact that noelle turns around and kisses kris after susie feels like “it shouldnt be happening” (i know we all want polycule here but lets pretend they’ve barely entertained that idea yet) and makes things needlessly complicated, but suddenly, this seems like the more interesting path…

“forbidden” romance not in the sense that theres something actually wrong with it, but instead its simply not the path that the narrative is pushing towards (something something the forbidden path starts with ice magic…)

noelle choosing to kiss kris in that moment also kind of reflects what it is she likes about them, like you said. a tag i got a really long time ago on a reblog was “noelle’s image of kris in her mind is a kind one.” underneath all the pranks and goofs, they always mean well in the end. but when kris expresses that kindness by saying noelle and susie would make a good pair, noelle, who knows them so well, can still see past their words — more as a gut feeling than anything else — because the mere gesture of trying to hide their feelings to maintain her happiness is ALSO kind of them.

i keep saying that kris is the kind of person to run from their feelings all the time because i really believe it’s the case. theres only so many ways you can achieve that kind of stoicism lol. they hide and repress and keep those feelings locked away (both good feelings and bad ones) because they dont want to be a burden and mess things up for everyone. i think this was definitely a product of their home life, too — things get so chaotic that no one has the time or energy to pay more than surface-level attention to you (with asriel being the one genuine exception i think). it eventually just becomes easier to shut up and cut off all the emotions that might make you dare to Feel Real Things out of fear of rocking the boat. all of this is to say that how kris feels about noelle is just another thing they have sealed away, eventually just internalizing as genuine care for her wellbeing, with Something Else still hidden deep inside. and noelle kissing them undid all of their many many years of careful feelings-control because “oh shit oh god noelle no you cant kiss me havent you considered the Consequences??? the ramifications?? noelle the rammies. Tje consequences ive made up in my head”

and again like you said everything is incredibly subconscious on noelle’s end and she barely notices it. part of it could be from genuine Lol That’s Kris thats My Friend! without taking 5 seconds to think deeper about everything and unpack her own feelings. she Feels her feelings but is too mentally preoccupied to understand what they mean. i actually made this diagram just last night to convey basically exactly this

ultimately the whole shoujo romance thing makes the stakes way lower so now things are like, Oh no someone’s feelings might get hurt rather than Oh no the entire world is actually going to end. (maybe part of why i internally set it to take place multiple years in the future where they’re all in college or something and the dark world stuff is behind them LOL)

im gonna stop myself before this post gets too disgustingly long but man i have so many thoughts about them. sometimes i fear i treat them more like ocs so i have to realign myself and think “ok this still lines up with canon right.” but everything ive said is just what “feels right” to me i guess

[lucyrose191]

BROKEN DECISIONS| T.WOLFF

Pairing; Divorced!Toto Wolff x fem!engineer!Schumacher!reader

Summary; The news of Toto Wolff divorcing from Susie has just hit the media and you, Michael Schumacher’s eldest daughter and George Russel’s race engineer, are beyond shocked, even more so as your relationship with your boss begins to evolve.

Warnings; angst, light smut, heartbreak, pregnancy trope.

F1 Master List , Part 2 , Part 3

The paddock was overwhelmed with media reporters and cameras, way more than usual for a race weekend, the Mercedes garage was surrounded by people as well as the entrance to the track, all waiting for one man, Toto Wolff.

You had been more than taken back by the joint statements released this morning which both effectively said the same thing.

mercedesamgf1: Team Principle Toto Wolff announces divorce from wife Susie Wolff, both will continue to co-parent son Jack Wolff and will continue to work together happily, they wish nothing but the best for each other in the future and wish for the privacy and support they need during this time.

SusieStoddart: Toto and I have mutually decided to part ways and divorce after 12 years of marriage, both of us will continue to co-parent our son, Jack and will continue working together in the future. I wish nothing but the best to him for the future, please respect our privacy during this time and I hope you guys will continue to support us both from this point on, even on our separate paths. Thank you.

It all seemed so sudden to you, nothing has seemed out of place whenever they were in the garage together but you suppose that’s how the saying you never know what’s going on behind closed doors goes.

You squeezed your way through the crowd, ignoring all of the questions fired your way and the cameras and microphones that were shoved in your face, it wasn’t your job to be making comments about a relationship that had nothing to do with you and it was entirely unprofessional.

Huffing out a breath as you finally crossed the threshold of the garage, you straightened out your clothes and bag before making your way over to your desk that you sat at whenever George was out on the track.

Bono was already in his chair and looked up when he heard you pull your hair out, taking note of your flustered state. "I take it you’ve seen the news."

"It’s everywhere! It’d be a miracle if I hadn’t seen it," you huffed. Looking around, you noticed how flustered everyone else seemed to be whilst trying to do their jobs, you didn’t blame them because right now no one knew what mood the boss was going to be in when he arrived, if he arrived.

"Is he even coming today? I certainly wouldn’t." You asked.

Bono shrugged, "you know what he’s like, that man would be here even if his leg was falling off, he’ll be here and god help him when he is."

"Yeah, true. Am I blind though or did anyone else not see this coming because they were both at the factory two weeks ago and everything seemed fine to me."

Bono turned away from his monitor and completely turned to you, huddling closer. "I didn’t suspect anything either but they’re really good as keeping work life and private life separated. Have you seen some of the rumours though?"

You snorted and nodded your head, "I’ve seen the ones about Toto having an affair which is ridiculous, that man does not have the time to be hiding an entire relationship."

Bono laughed at your choice of words but abruptly stopped as he stared behind you causing you to look at him in confusion before turning around, pausing at the sight of your boss walking in with a face of stone.

"Ahh shit," you muttered, hearing a small hum of agreement coming from Bono.

Then you saw him heading into your direction.

"Double shit," You heard Bono mumble causing you to bite your lip, trying to prevent yourself from smiling.

"Y/N. Bono. Good Morning," Toto nodded his head in greeting.

You smiled up at him, "Morning, boss, feeling positive about today?"

Bono sighed from behind you which caused you to internally wince at your own words, now realising that might not have been a good question to ask.

"Yeah," Toto looked between the pair of you suspiciously. "Are you?"

"Very," you tried to sound convincing, "I’m sure George is going to drive like it’s his last race and if not then I’ll boot him up the arse."

Toto looked at you amused, "I believe you."

After he walked away you turned to Bono with a pained look on your face meanwhile he was trying not to fall into laughter. "What the fuck is wrong with me?"

He laughed straight in your face as you sighed at yourself. "How an I supposed to talk to him normally when all I want to say to his face is ‘hey, heard about your divorce, that sucks and now everyone thinks you can’t keep a wife’."

"Yeah don’t say that," Bono grimaced at your words.

Everything was real now, it had been real for a while but now the news was out for everyone to gossip about.

Things hadn’t been right for a long time between him and Susie and whilst there hadn’t been any constant arguing or disloyalty between the two of them, there hadn’t been much else either.

You’d have thought working within the same industry would have built an understanding between them about their schedules and commitments and it had in the beginning but as formula one became more popular, their lives had only gotten busier to the point they hardly saw each other and even when they did it was only to ensure Jack was getting enough quality time with both of his parents, it was as though they had been coparenting with each other whilst they weren’t even split.

A year ago they had accepted the inevitable fate of their marriage and had been figuring out the logistics of their divorce but just like they had kept their struggles silenced, they had kept the news of their parting silent too.

But it had been over a year now and quite frankly the fake shows they were putting on were getting exhausting, they were both moving on and pretending to still be a happily married couple wasn’t doing well in helping them in the process.

Toto had found a particular thing that hadn’t allowed him to dwell in the sadness of his private life. Something, or someone, that didn’t even know how much they were helping him.

You.

Everyday you showed up to work with a smile on your face, eternally grateful for everything life had offered you. You had achieved your dreams of working within formula one, it might not have been on the track driving at record breaking speeds like your father but you had one of the most important roles in the team and you enjoyed it.

Even today as he walked through the doors trying to ignore all of the sad, pathetic looks people were giving him and the onslaught of invasive questions people were attacking him with and even if they weren’t verbally shooting words his way, he could see the unasked questions in everyone’s eyes, you greeted him like you did every other day and whilst he knew you were aware of the news, nothing in your face showed the slightest bit of curiosity towards the end of his marriage and he couldn’t express how refreshing that was and how much he needed it.

Slowly, he found himself looking forward to the days ahead where he could bump into you and witness the smile on your face as he tried to ignore the way your energy made his heart feel funny and when Mick signed as the team’s reserve driver he would use the fact that he was ‘mentoring’ your little brother as an excuse to see you, knowing that naturally he would be around you more.

You jumped up from your seat in excitement as you saw both Mercedes cars pass the checkered flag securing second and third place behind Max, obviously.

"George you fucking beautiful human bring!" You shouted through the radio before turning to look for Toto, hoping that these results would have put a smile on his face only to find that he was already looking at you intensely, not even acknowledging the pats he was getting on his back by team members.

He winked at you? And sent you what seemed to be a grateful smile before turning away to celebrate with those around him. You were thankful he did so and didn’t see the pink hue you could feel spreading through your cheeks.

A sudden weight on your back didn’t allow you to dwell on it. Mick had launched himself at you in his exhilaration causing you to quickly latch onto his legs so you both didn’t go tumbling, you laughed and spun the pair of you around before putting him down so you could all go outside and gather in the pits to watch the podium.

You always went out of your way to be a kind person but the moment your team was standing under the podium all manners went out of the way and you barged your way to the front of the barriers to watch, mumbling half-hearted apologies, you knew no one would take your behaviour the wrong way as you’ve known them for so long.

Looking up, you were happy to see the smiles on Lewis and George’s faces, tough seasons can really take a told on the mental health of the drivers and it can be easy to lose motivation, especially when you were part of a team that was so used to winning but they looked as happy as ever now and it made all of the hard work that everyone had put in worth it.

Two hands clamped down on your shoulders startling you, followed by the feeling of a firm chest being pressed up against your back. You looked up and saw Toto but he wasn’t looking at you, he kept his gaze up on the podium and the happiness on his face hadn’t subsided so you didn’t question it and turned back to the celebrations.

His behaviour was really confusing you and you wanted to talk to him about it but decided to push it away for another day.

His behaviour hasn’t been limited to that day alone.

The entire season has been filled with soft touches from him, from a small brush of his hand against your back as he walked past or light touches of your hips to guide you to the side when you were in his walk way.

Let’s not forget about the way he started to look at you. Toto’s stare was always intense but now you couldn’t ignore the soft shine his eyes held as he looked at you.

You hoped you weren’t reading too much into things otherwise that would be embarrassing but you couldn’t stop noticing the little things he would do and what was even worse was the way these things were effecting you.

These touches would leave your skin feeling tingly and your head fuzzy to the point your mind just turned blank and now whenever he was so much as in the same room as you, your mind became hyper-fixated on his presence to the point it felt like you were compelled to constantly glance in his direction.

You had worked for him for nearly eight years and not once had you even considered looking at him in any other way other than as your boss and a friend.

You acknowledged that he was handsome and had the charisma to match but you had never been attracted to him up until now, how was this year any different to the last seven?

Hands slamming down into your desk startled you from your thoughts, you looked up wide eyed at the grinning face of your younger brother causing you to grumble in annoyance and throw the pen that was sitting on your desk at him.

"What’s wrong with your face?" Mick easily dodged your attack and asked.

"What do you mean?" You asked.

"My big sister always has a smile on her face and for the last twenty minutes you’ve been sat there staring at nothing with a frown on your face."

"Nothing," you muttered, turning back to your laptop screen that had long since shut off.

"Right," Mick replied sarcastically, "Come on, tell me what’s wrong."

You pursed your lips as you debated telling him or not. "You promise not to tell anyone?"

Mick’s face lost its teasing look as he realised you were actually troubled. "Of course." He replied sincerely.

You hesitated for a moment longer before asking "have you noticed that Toto has been acting strange lately?"

Mick looked at you surprised for a moment before smirking and nodded, "you mean the fact that the entire season he’s been staring at you like you’re the finest piece of meat he’s ever seen?" He asked teasingly.

"I wouldn’t have worded it that way but yeah," you responded.

"Then yes, I’m surprised it took you this long to acknowledge it."

You shook your head, "I noticed it at the beginning of the season but I thought I was imagining it and now I can’t stop noticing the fact that he-"

"Fancies the hell out of you?" Mick finished, a shit eating grin on his face.

You groaned and placed your head against your desk. "This is wrong, he’s my boss!"

"Tell me about it, he’s mine too and he fancies my sister!"

"Stop saying he fancies me!" You told him resulting in him just laughing at you. "Seriously Mick, what am I supposed to do?"

Mick sighed and looked at you seriously, "Do you like him?"

"I dont know," you replied honestly, "before this season I wouldn’t have even looked at him as anything but my boss and a friend but now he keeps looking at me and taking any opportunity to touch me and it’s confusing me."

Mick pulled an uncomfortable face at your words but gave you some advice. "Then do nothing until you know for sure."

You nodded and he smiled before walking around your desk and wrapping you in a tight hug which was more like a headlock but it was a hug nonetheless.

"Smile! We’re in Abu Dhabi and we’re partying tonight," he fake cheered as he walked away causing you to laugh at his behaviour.

And that’s exactly what you did. It had been a tough season for Mercedes, the team hadn’t nearly performed as well as they were used to but through a lot of hard work the season had ended on a high note and and no one was going to dwell on this years difficulties tonight.

You were definitely allowing yourself some freedom tonight to drink away and forget about the confusing thoughts that had been swimming around in your head all season.

The club was dark except for the colourful flashing lights that were roaming the entirety of the room that the FIA had rented out for all of the f1 teams celebrating tonight. You were already feeling more relaxed from the three drinks you hadn’t wasted time on consuming and had dragged poor Bono, who had zero rhythm, to the dance floor.

The man looked traumatised as he simply stood there awkwardly with you holding onto his hands, swaying his arms to try and encourage him to dance and have a bit of fun.

You kept him there for an hour before eventually taking pity on him and letting him go, you walked over to the bar to get another drink, not seeing the person approaching you until he was right beside you.

"You look lovely."

You turned to your right in surprise, Toto was mimicking your stance, leaning his side against the bar as he looked into yours eyes. "Thank you," you replied, a little shocked at his words.

"I see you were having fun with Bono," he commented absentmindedly.

You laughed, "Me? Yes. I don’t think he was having as much fun as I was."

"He’s not much of a dancer," Toto smirked.

"Oh, I know. He can’t move to save his life but it doesn’t mean he shouldn’t try."

The bartender placed your drink in front of you and you took a sip after giving him a thanks. "Have you been having fun?" You asked.

Toto tapped his fingers against the bar top and signed. "As much as I can after the shit season we’ve had."

"We’ll be better next year," you replied confidently.

He simply nodded in response, dragging his gaze down your body and back up again.

The feeling of his eyes trailing you left a burning heat on your skin and an unfamiliar fluttering in your stomach.

"I like this dress," he told you, nodding at the tight fabric that clung to your figure.

"I got it yesterday," you knew he didn’t care but for some reason you felt inclined to share that information with him, fighting the urge to look away and hide a smile.

"You picked wisely," he immediately responded and this time you didn’t fight the smile, his smooth responses settling within you exactly how he wanted.

"I’m glad you like it," your voice was quiet in the midst of the loud music and voices but it didn’t prevent him from hearing you words.

The way he smirked down at you made you feel much smaller than you were, the idea of how his stature and strength would help with the power he held over you made you burn with need and the want to find out for yourself.

You huffed out a breath.

You needed another drink.

You threw your head back into the pillows and gasped as Toto thrusted into you, pulsating pleasure rushing through your body with every movement.

You didn’t know how you got to this point, the night was a haze of drinking, close dancing and longing looks but the one memory that stood out was the warmth of Toto’s hands against your hips, after that everything blurred up until this moment.

Your arm wrapped around the back of his neck, your hand burying itself into his hair as you tried to ground yourself but you were hopeless within the haze of his kisses against your throat and hands holding your thighs spread for him.

"Toto!"

His breath was heavy against your skin. "You feel so good, schatz." The guttural groan he released sent you feral, you tightened your grip on him and pulled him closer so your chests pressed against each other.

Your vision went white as Toto just grazed that sweet spot inside you with one particularly hard thrust before he angled his hips in a way that with each bruising snap of his hips he made, the tip of his cock would brush against you just right.

As you felt yourself approaching your release, your back arched and the air remained trapped in your lungs, your grip tightened on Toto’s hair causing him to groan into your neck while your other hand shot up behind you and grabbed onto the headboard.

Just as you were at the precipice of your release, Toto reached down and circled your clit with his fingers providing the last bit of stimulation needed for you to let go and dive into a river of overwhelming pleasure.

The sight of your face completely blissed out made Toto’s cock harden more inside of you, he continued to thrust and work you through your orgasm whilst chasing his own, chasing his release as he felt his body fill with an indescribable need to continue rutting into you.

The groan of relief he let out followed by a warmth in your core brought you back to reality, Toto allowed his body to collapse onto your own and simply lay there as he caught his breath and recovered from his own orgasm.

Your hand continued to run through his hair, grounding his mind to reality and encouraging him back from his high.

Moments later, Toto removed himself from you and curled up behind you, wrapped an arm across your stomach and pulled you into his chest.

Both still feeling the haze of the alcohol in your systems, no words needed to be spoken between the pair of you as you both succumbed to much needed sleep.

You woke up feeling as though your brain was swelling beyond the capacity of your skull and dehydrated to the point you felt like you could drink about forty litres of water.

Every part of your body ached as you moved beneath the covers, flashes of last night flickered through your mind causing you to groan at the reminder of your drink choices.

You were definitely regretting it now.

A particular memory caused you to pause and look beneath the sheets, grimacing as you realised you were naked.

Then you froze, Toto.

Your head shot to the side and instead of laying your eyes upon your boss’ 6ft5 frame you were greeted by an empty half of the bed with only crumpled white sheets.

Your heart dropped as you looked around the room, there was no indication that anyone else had been here but the ache between your legs made it very clear that last night did in fact happen.

He had left.

After an entire season of fighting with your feelings and the way he made you feel, you had given in to him only for him to leave.

You felt sick and dirty and disgusting and used.

You pulled yourself into the shower and tried to to push down the need to cry but you were filled with an overwhelming sense of betrayal and couldn’t stop the rogue fear that fell down your cheek.

Waiting to board the plane back to England, you looked down at your phone, you had a feeling Toto was already there by now and you had messaged him ages ago but no response.

Had you been crazy believing that he could have feelings for you?

You were so mad at yourself for being as affected as you were by his actions, it felt like someone had your heart in their fist and found amusement in squeezing it, filling you with the need to just let go and allow your emotions to flow freely.

You didn’t need to be back at the factory until after Christmas so you went straight home and unpacked your bag before repacking to go and spend your time off in Switzerland with your family, Toto still hadn’t responded and you were positive he was just ignoring you now and you didn’t try to get a response.

You’d deal with that after Christmas.

Normally you’d wait a week or two after the season ended to go back home but you really had no reason to stay, you’d changed your mind on attending the FIA awards which had confused Mick when you told him but he could tell something was wrong and chose not to pry.

You seriously didn’t think the year could get worse, you were so wrong.

The last three weeks in Switzerland had been hell to put it lightly, Christmas was just around the corner but it was hard to be excited when you had caught the sickness bug, the amount of time you spent in bed throwing up was disgusting at this point and the coddling of your family wasn’t helping.

You knew they loved you but you wish they’d just leave you alone to wallow in misery.

Toto was still a lingering thought in the back of your mind and it was only adding to how rubbish you felt but you hadn’t made any other attempt to get in touch, he hadn’t tried either so you knew where you stood with him and that was enough.

New years had passed and you were now back in England to go back to work, you had never dreaded going to work in all the years you’d worked for Mercedes so the unsettling feeling in your stomach was new.

But that could also just be nausea.

You still hadn’t completely recovered from your sickness over the holidays, you were no longer bed bound but the urge to throw up and the loss of appetite was still there, the loss of weight was visible in the sickly paleness of your face so you had booked a doctors appointment for the upcoming Friday.

Your stomach churned as you walked through the doors of the Mercedes headquarters, as the daughter of Michael Schumacher you got a lot more attention in the building as you would’ve if you were just a race engineer so the nods from almost everyone as you walked in weren’t strange to you but the sympathetic looks were.

You hoped it was just because you looked as if you hadn’t seen sun for the past ten years.

Deciding to stop by hospitality on the way to your office for a bottle of water, you paused in the doorway at the sight of Toto and didn’t hesitate to turn right back around before your mind even processed his presence.

You got a few funny looks by the people in there but you truly didn’t care.

It stayed like that for the rest of the week, whenever you found yourself in the same room as your boss there was no time wasted before you left even if there were still things needed to be done in that room, you didn’t even try to be subtle about it either.

As soon as he entered the room you immediately took your leave, it was rude but you couldn’t find it within yourself to care and you doubted he cared either.

You had taken the day off work today to attend your doctor’s appointment so thankfully you didn’t need to waste your efforts avoiding him.

"Symptoms are nausea, sickness and weight loss," The doctor listed and you nodded in clarification.

She looked at you knowingly, "When did your last cycle finish?" She asked.

You pulled a face and leaned your head back in thought, it was probably before Vegas, but that was….. your face grew even paler than it already was.

"November," you whispered, your body filling with complete and utter horror.

The doctor’s face grew sympathetic at your reaction, "and you’ve had unprotected sexual intercourse since then?" She asked though your face gave her the answer.

You were at a loss for words so you resulted in nodding; the idea of you being pregnant only made you feel more sick.

"Okay," she replied softly, "We’ll have you take a test to confirm."

You didn’t even register the next ten minutes, lost in your own mind as an emptiness settled within you, your chest ached with pain at the idea that your whole life could be changed in just a few short minutes.

"Miss Schumacher, are you okay?" The doctor asked worriedly.

You snapped back to reality and nodded numbly.

"The test came back positive, Y/N, so I’ll refer you to a midwife and during this time you should think about what you want to do, okay?"

How you didn’t crash on the way home was a miracle because you definitely weren’t concentrating, you carried your body straight to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, you looked like hell.

Just the sight caused your eyes to well up and this time you didn’t fight the emotions, you welcomed the tears and allowed the pain to consume you, the pain of realising just how alone you were in this moment.

You slid down against the bathroom door and curled yourself into a ball, buried your face into your knees and sobbed until you no longer could.

The weight in your chest was still present as you walked into work the following Monday but you no longer had any tears to spare, you had made up your mind about what your future would consist of and today would mark the beginning of it.

Knocking on the door to Toto’s office, you waited for confirmation to enter and he clearly hadn’t anticipated you on the other side from the look of surprise on his face but you didn’t mention it and closed the door behind you.

"We need to talk," you wasted no time in pleasantries and sat down in the seat opposite him.

"Is there a problem with the car?" He asked, his formal tone cut through you like a knife but you refused to show the effect it had.

You wouldn’t have thought the pair of you were friends just two months ago.

"There’s nothing wrong with the car," you told him.

"What do we need to talk about then?" He asked.

He was royally pissing you off with the way he was pretending to be ignorant. "We need to talk about what happened between us-"

"This is unprofessional," he interrupted and you scoffed in disbelief.

"Unprofessional?" You laughed in his face. "Do you know what else in unprofessional? Sleeping with your employee."

His face dropped at the bluntness of your words, "look, you shouldn’t be bringing private matters into the workplace."

"How else am I supposed to bring them up? Over text message where I never get a response?" You looked at him incredulously. "This is important-"

"I don’t want to hear it, Y/N," he cut you off harshly. "What happened between us shouldn’t have happened, it was a moment of weakness and it will never happen again."

You looked at him stone faced before nodding, "fine." You got up from your seat and left without another word, not bothering closing his door.

You didn’t go to your office, instead you went to HR.

Walking past the different offices you went straight for the head of HR. "Chloe?" You knocked on the door quietly, opening it once you received a response.

She smiled at you in greeting, "Y/N, can I help you with something?"

You nodded softly and sat down on the sofa she had against the wall. "How many holidays do I have?"

She looked at you suspiciously, "All of them, you didn’t put one in for Friday so that went unpaid."

"Okay," you muttered under your breath, "I want to cash them all in, starting from tomorrow."

"What?" She looked at you shocked. "Are you sure? If there’s something going on we can figure out a better solution for you."

You smiled and shook your head, "Uhm no I’m sure, I want to use them all and then after that I’ll be taking early maternity leave."

Chloe’s eyes widened in shock. "Wow, okay, congratulations."

"Thanks, I want to spend my pregnancy in Switzerland so you won’t see me around."

You could see that she had questions but didn’t ask them and you appreciated it, "I understand, I’m happy for you Y/N, I’ll get it all sorted for you."

"Great," you stood up and headed towards the door.

"Y/N?" You turned around, Chloe looked at you sincerely, "Give me a call if you need someone to talk to, yeah?"

You probably wouldn’t but you nodded and left.

To say Toto was surprised when he found out they were down their usual race engineer for the season was an understatement.

It was completely unexpected and he wasn’t the only one who wasn’t happy about it, George was not at all in agreement to having a new voice in his ear.

It wasn’t even for a couple races either, it was for the entire season.

No one in the team had any information on what had happened except two people, Mick and Chloe.

No one could ask Mick because he had left to do the world endurance championship and when Toto had went to ask Chloe all he got was a shrug and words that sounded as though they’d been read from the companies handbook.

"It’s against an employee’s confidentiality rights to discuss the matters with you, even if you are the boss, all I can tell you is she’ll be back at work next year."

Meanwhile, in Switzerland you were slowly but surely feeling much better.

You were putting the situation between you and Toto behind you, you were recovering and as you did, your bump grew and the sight made you smile.

The horror and fear you felt when you found out about your pregnancy had dissipated weeks ago, leaving you filled with excitement and love for the journey you had ahead of you.

With your mother and sister around you, the loneliness you felt had evaporated as well.

You were doing good and felt amazing and that’s all that mattered right now.

[ofekma]

Ralsei and Susie: the burden of fate (part 3)

Ralsei and Susie's friendship development focuses on an interesting thing in chapter 4: fate.

Or more specifically, the prophecy.

As everyone else pointed out before, Ralsei's been acting kinda sus this entire game.

And as it turns out, Susie noticed it too.

She let him be the first few times he kept crucial information from her until the last second, but when she realized he knew that she couldn't see the old man if she opens a new dark fountain or even take him to castle town, she reached her limit..

And just like that, Susie voiced the thoughts of the entire fandom.

It makes sense that this is her breaking point, because she just found out that her mentor and friend was dead and (as far as she knows) she will never see him again. She didn't even get to tell him proper goodbye.

People have been speculating about Ralsei's tendency to hide things for years.

Is he evil? Is he working with Gaster? Could it be that he thinks that everyone knows what he does so he doesn't feel the need to say it? And why doesn't he get petrified like other dark worlds like other darkners?

While we didn't get an answer to some of these questions, we learned something very important about him.

Ralsei isn't some mastermind trying to hide things from the player or his friends for the sake of some grand plan, he's just a kid trying his best to protect his friends from the burden he has to carry.

Ralsei knew everything (kinda) that was going to happen before we even met him. And he seemed to be at peace with it.

He kept talking about fate, destiny and purpose.

It was Kris and Susie's fate to save the worlds, and it was his purpose to serve them.

But Susie, from the very beginning went "nah, that's bullshit."

Ralsei thought that he knew everything that was going to happen, but from their very first interaction, Susie proved him wrong.

Except that back then, it didn't come from strength, but of a lack of self worth.

After a lifetime of being told that she can never be anything more than a trouble maker, Susie immediately rejected Ralsei's words that she can be a hero.

And throughout chapter one, she kept rejecting this role, almost like the classic "refusal of the call" in the hero's journey.

Susie heard that Ralsei expected her to be a hero, and decided to nip it in the bud. Because all she saw was another authority figure that would end up dissapointed in her once she fails to be whatever they wanted her to be.

That's exactly why she refused to solve puzzles before and why she doesn't bother at school.

Susie thought that she isn't smart.

But she IS.

She thought that she wasn't heroic.

But she is.

She just didn't believe that she was so she refused to even try...until she found someone she cared about enough to try for.

By admiring Susie for all the traits others rejected her for, Lancer made Susie want to become a person worthy of this admiration.

And after Susie saw what she was capable of doing, and how rewarding it is, she accepted her role in the prophecy.

But ionically, the more Susie started to accept the prophecy, the less Ralsei wanted it to come true.

And the difference in his attitude is due to what in my opinion is in the last line of the prophecy. (Not my own theory, just the best one I saw about it).

Ralsei believed that he wasn't a person, therefore, his initial peace with his final fate makes sense.

But thanks to Kris and especially Susie, he started to believe that he mattered.

Susie learned that she's more than she thought she was, and applied the same principle to Ralsei.

And this made him less and less willing to accept his end.

Both for his sake as he found out that he liked living, and for Susie's, who clearly sees him as an equal and as a friend and wouldn't be able to handle his death, especially by her hand.

But he didn't believe that anything they'd do would make a difference, especially at the church world where the prophecy remained unchanged no matter what route the player took.

And saying it, acknowledging it, gives it weight. Makes it more real, makes it harder to deny.

And makes the burden Ralsei sees as his alone fall on the shoulders of the ones he cares about, too.

So even though he promised to be more honest, his resolve to keep the ending of the prophecy to himself was stronger than ever.

But of course, we all know how that went.

Ralsei was so scared of this moment, of the pain it'd inflict on her, of the despair and hopelessness that would replace the shining hope he saw in his friend.

But just like so many times before, Susie kept surprising him.

Just like in the beginning of chapter one, Susie rejected the prophecy, but this time it wasn't because she thought that she wasn't good enough, but because she believed in herself and her own strength.

Susie's resolve, her determination and her hope....it even got someone as fatalistic as Ralsei to believe that things can be different.

But the saddest part is, that despite the nonchalant attitude she displayed around Ralsei, Susie isn't very sure in her words.

But at the moment Ralsei ran to her, all apologetic and scared and worried, Susie knew what he needed to hear.

So she took a page out of his own book.

And now they switched part, with Ralsei being hopeful, and Susie resolving to take upon herself the burden of fate.

[yall-batman-fanfic]

That One Coworker | Bruce Wayne/Batman x OC!Magician

Synopsis: The woes of having a hot boyfriend. Vivian has an annoying colleague who won’t stop swooning over Bruce, and isn’t even trying to hide her “little crush”.

Keynote Speaker. That was the agenda. Vivian was invited to a convention for Art Historians and Historians in general in California, specifically in Star City. Since it was a three day event, she was given personal accommodations by the event organizers in a good hotel that wasn’t far from the venue; and since it was a convention for historians and art historians, some of her colleagues were also going. 

Dick tried to get her to let him come along, but if he did he’ll miss school and patrol, but they're mostly concerned with school. The twelve-year-old boy huffed and muttered something under his breath as he gave in to the final decision made by her and the two old men who he was living with. But just because Dick couldn’t come doesn’t mean Bruce couldn’t drop by and see her.

Day one was just Vivian doing a dry run of her presentation, making sure her slides moved on cue, her mic was good, timing perfect and within the given limit for every speaker. Day two was more for mingling with everyone and networking. In their tours, Vivian bumped into a very famous individual who she last expected to be in that place.

“Vivian Pryor!” Oliver Queen grinned when he saw Vivian.

“Mr. Queen,” Vivian said, surprised to see the man, and even more surprised that he brought her to an embrace. She turned to her colleagues and saw them just looking at her with big eyes, surprised as she was.

“Man, Bruce didn’t tell me you guys were in the city, I would have set something up for us—like a double date?” Oliver winked.

“It’s just me, actually. It’s a work-thing.”

“Oh! So he didn’t come along, huh. Well, he should have told me. I would have set something up.”

“It’s really fine—I wasn’t expecting you here, actually.”

“Well, just because Queen Industries is all about military defense and technology, we still have a thing for the arts.” In other words, he knew she was coming over and wanted to bump into Batman’s girlfriend and tease him about it. “Let’s get a picture, I’ll send it to Bruce.” Before Vivian could protest, Oliver took out his Q-Phone and took a selfie of them both. There was the teasing. “I’ll see you later, maybe we could go out for dinner?”

And there was more teasing.

“I’ll look into it, thank you, Mr. Queen.”

“Please, call me Oliver. We’re way past formalities now—if you know what I mean. I’ll see you around.”

Once he was gone, Vivian sighed in relief.

“You got some powerful friends there, Viv,” Justin came to her side. “Oliver Queen… Bruce Wayne…”

“Bruce’s is my boyfriend, Justin,” Vivian pointed out.

Justin shrugged.

“Powerful and good looking too,” said Susan, or Susie as she prefers to be called. “Come on, let’s go to your fancy hotel room and get some drinks from the mini-fridge without thinking about the bill. They did say they’ll be paying for your stay, right?”

Vivian sighed and watched as Susan walked ahead of them towards the elevator.

Susan Yung, professor in art history, alongside Vivian, and someone who likes to party. She was young looking—she was just the same age as her—and is rocking the pencil skirt. Everyone in their department wonders how she manages to make the pencil skirt work and bear to wear one all day. Vivian couldn’t stand pencil skirts, when she was still studying and had to wear one for something, she couldn’t keep up with the other students whenever they were chasing their professor as he continued his lecture while moving rooms. And every time she goes home, she would take it off and just walk around in her underwear to feel the breeze. 

Coming to her floor, Vivian led her colleagues to her room door. As soon as she opened it with her key pass, they all froze at the entrance at what they saw.

Bruce Wayne.

Fresh out of the shower.

With only a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Viv,” Bruce greeted.

“I-I–what are you… doing here? No, scratch that, I know—how did you get in my hotel room?”

“You told me your accommodations, and you mentioned at the front desk to give me access whenever and if ever I come by,” Bruce approached her and kissed her cheek.

“You didn’t call me that you were.”

“I wanted to surprise you, and it looks like I did,” his gaze shifted to Justin, Susie, and Katherin. “And you’re not the only one. Hi.”

“Mr. Wayne!” Katherin looked away in embarrassment. Their older colleague was getting all flustered seeing a man, who wasn’t her husband, nearly naked as the day he was born. Or the fact he was giving her a free Magic Mike show.

“Kirk,” Bruce nodded at Justin’s direction.

“Wayne,” Justin muttered, quite disappointed that Vivian’s boyfriend was there. He was hoping to have the weekend with her… even if it was with their colleagues.

“Susie, a pleasure, Mr. Wayne,” Susie brushed past Vivian and held out her hand to Bruce.

Was she expecting him to kiss it? Vivian thought.

Bruce took her hand and shook it firmly. “A pleasure. I’ll head inside to get some clothes.”

“Don’t bother,” Susie purred.

“Okay, time for you to go!” Vivian ushered them out. “I will see you later at dinner—”

“I got us reservations at the hotel restaurant,” Bruce told her.

“--breakfast! I’ll see you all at breakfast before my presentation!” Closing the door, Vivian sighed and hit her forehead on the door. Repeatedly. She kept going until she felt a palm stopping.

“I’m sorry if this upset you,” Bruce said.

“No, it didn’t,” Vivian turned to him. “I’m glad you’re here… I just… if I had known, I wouldn’t have brought Susie to my room.”

Bruce pulled her to the bed where he sat and kept hold of her. “Why?”

“I didn’t tell you this before because of how stupid it is, but Susie—like any other woman—has a huge crush on you. And I know it shouldn’t bother me but it just does…”

“You sure it’s not something she does that’s bothering you?” He kissed her wrist.

“She won’t stop ogling at your photo on my desk…”

“I have a photo on your desk?” He grinned slightly.

Vivian pinched him.

“And she won’t stop saying if we ever break up, I should give her a good reference for you or something—it’s a joke but, I don’t know…”

Bruce hummed  in thought. “If it makes you feel any better, I feel the exact same whenever you’re with Kirk.”

“Justin?” Vivian raised a brow.

He rolled his eyes. “Come on, we both know he’s into you before and he still is even when we’re dating for—years now. And it’s one of the reasons why I came to Star City.”

A lopsided grin came to her lips, and Vivian straddled Bruce on the bed. “So, it’s because of Justin you came to Star City? Why not share a room with him instead? I’m sure he’d love the company.”

Bruce took her arm and in one swoop, she was beneath him on the bed. “I came here for you. I don’t give a damn about Justin Kirk or Susan Yung.” He leaned down and kissed her lips.

“You know,” she spoke between kisses. “If ever you’re going to cheat on me—”

“I would never.”

“---I’d take it very well if it’s Justin.”

Bruce stopped in his kisses and gave her an incredulous look.

She laughed. “You both have this tension between you and it’s a good plot for a romance movie.”

“You’re unbelievable,” he got off of her.

“Or Clark. I don’t mind if it was Clark!”

Bruce went back to the bathroom and closed the door after him. 

“Bruce, come on,” Vivian went to the bathroom door and knocked. “I was joking. Open the door, please? I promise, I’ll stop teasing you.” No response. “My love, please don’t be mad at me.” The door opened. “We are good now—hey!” Bruce pulled her into the bathroom and pressed her against the shower wall. 

She saw the smirk on his face. “Don’t even think about turning it on. These are my favorite shoes, Wayne. And my favorite blouse.”

“You can fix that later,” Bruce leaned in and kissed her deeply. He had discarded his towel, and was unbuttoning her trousers when he turned on the shower.

Vivian let out a squeak, shocked with the cold water, then she gave him a pointed look, “Unbelievable, Wayne.”

“I’ll get you a new one, now take off your clothes, Pryor.”

~ * ~

Just as promised, Vivian joined her colleagues for breakfast, and with her was Bruce. The couple brought their plates—filled with food from the buffet—to the table where Justin and the others were and went on with their meal. 

“Ready for the presentation later?” Grant asked her.

“I am,” Vivian answered.

“No last minute jitters? Need a barf bag?”

Justin stopped before he could take another scoop of his soup, “Grant, come on, man. We’re having breakfast. Geez.”

The older man laughed. 

“Don’t worry, I’m ready,” Vivian sighed. “I’m relaxed.”

“I made sure you have a glass of scotch in the backroom before you start,” Bruce teased her.

“Don’t need it this time, but much appreciated,” she chuckled.

“Well,” Susie arrived with Katherin with their breakfast, and she sat right across Bruce.. “That was a long line.”

“Don’t worry, we’re not even halfway through our plates, eat up,” said Grant.

“Oh, I will,” Susie took one of the sausages she got and started eating. Bruce was sure he saw her glancing at his way before she would take it in her mouth. He paid no mind to it, he turned to Vivian and only focused on her and their meal.

“What are everyone’s plans today?” Susie asked. 

“Well, Via’s got her presentation, I’m heading here,” said Justin. “And right after that I’m heading to the panel for Dr. Lansky.”

“Lansky? Gosh, I’m jealous!” Vivian commented.

“I’ll get you her autograph.”

“Well, I just might join you with Lansky,” said Susie. “What about you, Mr. Wayne?” Bruce froze when he felt a foot from across the table, brushing against his ankle. And it wasn’t Vivian’s. “Got any plans?”

Bruce cleared his throat and adjusted his seating, pulling his feet and legs away from Susie’s reach. “It’s obvious I came to watch Vivian.”

“After that I have a book signing,” Vivian told him. 

“Then I’ll stay with you.”

“Bruce, I appreciate the effort, and I love you for it, but come on,” she held his hand. “Go and explore, you might find your old professors here.”

“You went to Yale, right?” Susie asked. For some reason she still managed to reach his leg and was caressing it with her foot. 

“I did, I took law in Yale. But I also got criminal science, forensics, computer science, chemistry and engineering in GU,” Bruce pulled back his chair and angled himself to face Vivian.

“Wow, someone’s got time… and money,” Justine muttered, which earned a kick from Vivian at the shin. “Ow, right, right. Sorry… What got you to taking those? It’s kind of far from a law degree or business, don’t you think?”

“Wayne Enterprises dwells with science and technology. For me to lead WE effectively, I also need to understand what goes on in the industry. I want to have an intimate understanding about the fields of my industry.”

“Intimate, you say,” Susie smirked.

Bruce held her hand. “I always put my one hundred percent in everything I do.” His phone rang, Bruce looked at the caller and he got up. “Excuse me, I have to take this.”

Leaving the table, Bruce went out of the buffet and ended the call. Not long, Vivian followed him out.

“I felt that you needed an escape route,” Vivian said. “Someone’s persistent.”

“She was playing footsie. Thanks.”

“No problem… act as if you’re still in the call and make it look like it’s important.”

Bruce pressed his hand on his bluetooth earpiece and did as he was told. Though he was speaking to Vivian. “How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

“Really Viv?”

She sighed. “Pissed at Susie but what can I say? Everyone wants a piece of my boyfriend.”

“I can say the same with my girlfriend,” he chuckled. “Justin seems to be… tolerable.”

“I told him to be nice.”

Bruce ended his act and wrapped an arm around Vivian’s waist. “You sure you’re not nervous?”

“A little.” she shrugged.

“Then let’s head up stairs so I can relax you a bit.”

Vivian welcomed the kiss on her cheek, but when she turned to the direction of the buffet, she saw her colleagues watching them. Grant and Katherin grinning from ear to ear, while Justin and Susie weren’t too happy with the sight.

“I think I’d like that proposition, Wayne.”

~ * ~

The presentation was a success. Vivian was able to capture the attention of the room throughout and got interesting questions from the guest. The entire time, Bruce sat at the front that was reserved for Vivian's plus-one for the event and couldn't stop smiling at the sight of her doing her work. She once told him how she liked to watch him work, that's why whenever she was in the manor, she would bring her things to his study and do it there so she could see him knit his brows while reading an email or documents that were sent over for him to go through.

Maybe that's what he was feeling too. Seeing her stand there with confidence, discussing her work with that look on her face---full of passion and excitement---and, it was more of a personal preference, wearing that tweed trousers and jacket. People don't usually find it sexy but…

Right after her lecture, Vivian was brought to one of the booths for a book signing. The line wasn't as long as any New York Bestseller fiction novels, but she got a line from people in her industry. 

Approaching her, Bruce placed a cup of coffee at the side and whispered to her ear, “I'll wait for you outside.”

“Yes,” Vivian chuckled. “Look around, have fun… that is if you'll find the world of art and history fun.”

“You forget, Pryor, my mother was an enthusiast of the arts,” he placed a kiss on her cheek. “I'll go look around. See you later, my love.”

Vivian blushed. He doesn't, usually, call her that in public. Then there was the crowd who howled teasingly at her. “Okay, okay, go! Shoo!” Vivian hid her blushing face from him.

Bruce kissed the top of her head one last time and left. Taking his leave from her booth, Bruce walked around the grounds, peeking through multimedia rooms that were occupied by panels, book signing booths, and some professors he knew back in his time in university drinking more than they should. Hell, one of his old professors saw him and asked how he’s been.

In his rounds, Bruce came across a little souvenir shop that geeky shirts and hats that only HUMSS academia would laugh at. He decided to get a shirt for Dick to see if he'll get the joke, and a book for Alfred.

“Shopping already, Mr. Wayne?” Susie appeared at the line with her purchase.

“Something for my ward and my butler,” Bruce answered.

“I always forget that you have a kid, you don't seem the type.”

“Looks can be deceiving sometimes,” he paid for his purchase, thanked the staff, and dropped a good tip into their jar. “I'll see you around.”

Right as he left the store to find his way back to Vivian, Susie followed him. “In a hurry?”

“I'm just heading back to see Vivian.”

“She's not done,” Susie rolled her eyes. “Professor Perfect is still greeting her fans…”

Bruce's brows furrowed. 

“Come on,” she smirked. “Don't tell me it doesn't get on your nerves. How she has this little-miss-goody-two-shoes rep, but we all know that's not real. But everyone loves her. Who wouldn't?”

“Viv's a good person, that's why,” Bruce told her. “She's kind to her students and her colleagues.”

“She has got her hands wrapped around you, huh, Wayne?” Susie walked up to him, brushing her hand on the lapel of his blazer. “Do you really know her?”

Bruce remained quiet.

“I heard Vivian Pryor only got to where she was because she got close with her mentor.”

Wrong but some truths were there.

Yes, Vivian slept with one of her professors back when she was in her exchange student program in Italy. But that man didn't become her full on mentor for her studies. That man was just a professor in that university in Italy. Her mentor, as of now, was the current Head of the College of Liberal Arts, Social Science and Philosophy. Their college and department. 

Vivian got her degree clean. 

She got her book published with hard work.

The connections she made are sincere. She even told Bruce she hasn't spoken to that Italian professor since she left Italy, and they promised that if they ever run into each other again it would be like old friends. Nothing more.

Bruce took Susie's hand and placed it down then he stepped back from her. “You are right on one thing about Vivian. She is perfect. She's perfect because she knows she's far from being perfect. She makes mistakes, some bad calls, but she learns. And she got to be to keynote speaker for this event because of her hard work and because she's a good person. Not a two-headed serpent who tries to bite someone at their back… and she has the guts to actually face someone head on and not do whatever this is you're doing.”

Susie's eyes were wide in shock. “Excuse me?”

“Don't think I won't tell my girlfriend about this either—and just so you know, Vivian never once forgot about Dick. Excuse me, I have to meet up with Vivian.”

Just as Bruce was going to walk away, he saw Justin Kirk standing a couple of paces ahead, blocking the path he was going to take, from the looks of it he saw everything. He looked at him with a narrowed gaze.

Justin chuckled, “Told you, he's not interested in you.”

“Fuck you, Justin!” Susie started walking away.

“Viv's almost done,” he told Bruce.

“Thanks,” Bruce muttered and walked past him.

“Hey, Wayne.”

Bruce stopped.

“You were right about Vivian. She is perfect… so don't fuck it up.”

He didn't reply but deep in his heart, Bruce had no plans on doing so.

~ * ~

“Is it just me or has Susie stopped putting on the MIss Congeniality face?” Vivian said as she got out of the bathroom wearing her pajamas---a pair of gym shorts and her GU campus shirt---and joined Bruce in bed. She was about to get under the covers but he pulled her to sit on his lap instead. His hand caressing her thigh which reached to her behind.

“Maybe she was just tired,” Bruce shrugged.

“Bruce…”

“Am I fucking things up?”

“What?”

“Am I?”

Vivian sighed. She traced her hand on his chest, brushing through the chest hair and tracing the scars that were there. “Far from it. You'd know if you were.”

He does.

Vivian Pryor has no time for bullshit. 

She'll up and leave.

Hovering over him, her red hair became a curtain between them and the outside world, and from the lamp at the bedside, it looked like her hair was a curtain of fire. He loved that hair. She leaned down and kissed his lips and then his nose. 

“I love you, Batman,” she whispered.

“I love you, Professor.”

[fishyvamp]

I wonder which one of the killers would be a monsterfucker

I bet the Knight. He sees some fucked up, ancient horror and he's just "damn, that's beautiful. I need to build an altar."

"Tarhos I think that's a monster."

"This is my beautiful spouse who fell from the very stars. Fuck you."

"Hell... hell of... the void."

Personally I think we have a few monster fuckers in the line up, but out of the human like killers there's Ghostface, Knight (which I firmly agree with), Frank and Julie with Susie as a possibly (The Legion), Doctor, Nurse, Trickster, Clown, Skull merchant, Mastermind, and Pig. Which gets me thinking—

Imagine an Eldritch!reader who's power is on par of the Entity, feeds on the same thing, emotions. You who looks both ethereal and unnerving, who feeds on the emotions thrown your way. You who wanders the Entity's realm freely and without fear. You who finds a knight, a knight who watches as you slaughter hoards hidden in deep in the realm without even a breaking a sweat.

Eldritch!Reader who finds The knight at your feet. Mesmerized by the carnage you wrought wherever you go. Tarhos who has always been seduced by dangerous things. Who has always craved something dangerous to call his own. To own him and force him to submit. You are absolutely stunning even if you feel wrong. A voice in the back of his head screaming to run, but he can't help but reach out wanting to touch you even if might burn him from the inside out.

He who begs you bend him to your will, to use your otherworldly powers to bring the Knight to his knees so he may taste the sheer strength behind your very existence. He wants you to feast on him. To claw a hole in his chest so you can crawl inside and make him your home.

He begs you to stay with him, to hide in his realm. He can't bare the thought of you ever leaving him even if it meant death. The others stare and why wouldn't they? Your presence and power is enough to send anyone fleeing for the hills because you feel wrong and they can not explain why.

He touches you with reverence, as if he's worshipping you, he mouth only where you ask it to be and he will not remove it once you have placed it there. His head resting on your thigh he licks your sex moaning loudly just so you know he's enjoying himself. His body shaking as he humps your shoe groaning as you press the toe of it against his groin. He needs you to know how completely devoted he is to you.

Eyes rolling back as the Knight feels your hands carding through his hair. Your finger tangling up in the long hair as you coo praises to him. "'m not worthy," he whines as you tell him what you want from him. Your shadowy tendrils holding his "mortal" body in place. You are his deity and he is your ever faithful follower.

[2plus2is17]

quickly gonna throw down my thoughts while it's fresh. obviously spoilers ahead

i'm very happy that Kris isn't the knight, but now their situation is a lot more... intriguing? solid chance that Carol is the knight, but either way they are working together on this shit. the main question now is what did Kris promise the voice on their phone, and why.

sticking with main characters, i'm glad that Susie is filling the protagonist role how i thought she would. such as seeing her take so much agency over the course of events, as well as having Main Character Training™ with Gerson

i fucking knew Ralsei was hiding shit. but now he's admitted it, and seems to also be using it to get away from Kris? it seems like he snuck away to grab something while watching Susie in 4. while some things got answered, the "why" is still a mystery. and that infuriates me.

seeing Gerson was... weird to me. it makes sense how, but the fact that he seemed so... casual about the dark world situation is interesting.

speaking of interesting, THE FUCKING BUNKER. i wasn't expecting to see anything about this early, but i'm so intrigued. still gonna be end-game, but the fact that the door opens after Susie leaves in 3 doubly confirms Kris working with at least one other (maybe two, depending on the knight)

on that topic, the knight is nothing what i was expecting. it's obviously really fucking weird among both darkners and lightners, being so distinct and look and vibe. at the same time, what stands out is how Gastery this thing is. especially with the hands.

still need to fight the secret boss in 3, so no thoughts on that yet.

DESS. for a long time now i've felt that Dess was gonna be at the heart of this story, in a similar way to Asriel in undertale. this is 3 chapters in a row now with a lot of attention is brought to her, and the fact her disapperance was what seems to have the root for where the dreemurs and the holidays are at now. she may even be the motivation for Carol and Kris to be helping the knight.

final major point. a big factor of this game has been has been the meta-narrative on how people interact with fiction and fictional characters. if you didnt get this already, the intro of chapter 3 should make that VERY clear. you have escapism, control (and the lack thereof), how they define us, and emotional connections. we are now at a point of interacting with a fictional work, as well as multiple fictional works within the fiction. if you want a better look at this, m0llystars has some great videos covering this.

with 4, prophecy and fate are now being questioned, too. so far everything has come to pass, and ralsei is trying to keep us from knowing the end. obviously Something Bad is going to happen, or that we're going have to let/do something horrible to save the day.

similarly, calling Kris "the cage" is a odd choice of words. it implies that we are stuck to Kris, not just vice versa. or is it because they are trying to keep us from stopping them? definitely important

some random thoughts

the track at the end 4 is called "the place where it rained." you know, the one that's a remix of "its raining somewhere else" from undertale? im going to loose it

on that point, we now have confirmation that monsters in deltarune can bleed. which Might Be Something To Remember.

the prophecy throughout 4 is A Thing. especially the one about the "flower man" (i fear this one).

what the hell does Gaster mean by "my deltarune?" is he supposed to be the angel? the fact that we intentionally are blocked from seeing what the angel looks like feels important. possibly means us knowing what the angel looks like would give something away.

something i noticed (that i don't remember in other chapters) is ever since the scene where Kris falls down in Dess' room, they're HP has been slowly draining. after they fall, they are on 19. but at the end of 4, they're on 14. not exactly sure why or how, but something that needs to be kept an eye on.

did sans fuck Toriel?

[undertalebabbleblog]

UTDR Holiday Newsletter Musings

Heya, Pup here, and I'm back again to talk about how Toby Fox has once more driven me insane.

Usually the newsletters have a black background and white text, but the background is white this time! Thematically appropriate, I suppose.

*glances outside at the warm summer morning*

Or, well, it's thematically appropriate if you don't live in the southern hemisphere lol.

Toby has a Bluesky account now, apparently.

...Yep, that belongs to Toby, alright.

And he even made an archive of the roast chicken posts "in case Blueski flies away". Excellent, those are exceedingly important, we wouldn't want them to be lost.

(Skipping over the stuff about the GameMaker updates and bugs because while it's interesting it's not what I'm here to talk about.)

*(...) *(...Pup slowly puts down the microwave they were holding and steps away.) *(All the settings on the microwave say 'spaghetti' anyway. It's unsure if that would work on frozen dogs.)

But in all seriousness, the reviews Toby shared seem pretty solid, and we are definitely, 100000000000% getting chapters 3 and 4 in 2025. I am incredibly excited and can't wait to see what the new chapters have in store.

(I wonder when they'll come out...? Place your bets, everyone! My money's on Undertale's 10th anniversary, since Toby has a habit of releasing and announcing important stuff on or around the anniversaries.)

We also have some text from chapter 4 that has been translated into Japanese. I cannot read Japanese, so unfortunately I don't have anything to say on that part, but I do have some things to say about some of the bits I can read!

"Inferno,&Inferno!" We don't have any context on who's saying this or what it might be about. My first thought is Dante's Inferno, given how much religious symbolism is in these games, but I'm probably wrong lol.

Lancer: "Susie, can you enrich my enclosure?" Susie: "Uhh, I can punch a hole in drywall and hide toys inside." Lancer: "Thank you. Someday, I will do the same for you..." This COULD just be about Lancer's room. Or it could imply that Lancer gets trapped somehow? Idk.

"To by, or not to by?" I don't have much to say here. But it's a Shakespeare reference, so I'm legally obligated to point that out.

Berdly: "Listen. It disgusts me to say this, but... as an ACT. OF. CHARITY. I will let you... Be the breeze under my wings. You... Me. Festival." My guess is that he's saying this to Susie. If so, Noelle is going to FLIP and I can't wait to see it lol. I'm very curious about this festival, too... I feel like something big's going to happen.

...wait.

WAIT.

Jevil's fight was in a carousel. Spamton's was on a rollercoaster.

...am I overthinking this, or are the secret bosses somehow foreshadowing the festival???????

Elnina: "Did it hurt when you fell? Your tag says you're... um, the moon." If I remember correctly, Elnina is one of the weather forecast themed enemies. Since this is chapter 4 dialogue, my guess is that this text is from Castle Town after you recruit them.

Chapter 5 is in development! Yay!

I was going to make a post about some of the new merch before the newsletter came out. Now I guess I'll just include my thoughts on it in this post.

SO. We have a Kris shirt.

Following the trend of the Frisk merch, Kris isn't named. All Frisk's merch refers to them as 'the human', and now Kris' shirt is the 'Important Person's Shirt'.

Here's all the text I've found describing it, from both the newsletter and Fangamer.

Listen. I am going insane over this. I have far too many thoughts and I don't know how to put any of them into words. BUT I'M GONNA TRY.

Okay. So.

Firstly, the love thing.

We already know that LOVE = Level of ViolencE. But while that adds an interesting layer, it's not primarily what I'm going to be discussing here.

Kris and the player have a connection, obviously. Their love will become yours - the love they receive from their mum, their dad, their friends, isn't meant for us. Yet it feels like it's directed at us, because we are Kris. Your love will become theirs - we decide their actions. If we express love for another character, we're expressing it through them, which means that the other characters are seeing it as their love instead. Us and Kris are separate entities, and yet we have an undeniable connection that makes us difficult to separate.

Also, I'm not entirely sure how this relates, but my first thought when I read this was about the default options for the vessel. The game records your choices in the vessel creation sequence. However, if you start a chapter 2 save file without continuing from chapter 1, the choices are automatically set to the first option of each question, except for the gift, which defaults to Mind. It also has default options for all the choices in the game, which all seem to follow what we know of Kris' characterisation. Essentially, if we haven't played chapter 1, Kris seems to play through it for us. In the vessel creation sequence, the question 'HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR CREATION? (IT WILL NOT HEAR.)' has 'LOVE' as the first option. I don't know how this might relate and it might be entirely unrelated but in my head I feel like some dots have been connected and it's driving me crazy. TOBY FOX YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME.

(Please picture me with one of those conspiracy theory boards with the red string and pictures and scribbled notes. That's the most accurate depiction of me right now.)

The mask thing seems important too, but I can't think of what it might be referring to. Maybe something to do with how the actions you choose for Kris aren't how they're really feeling?

There's also a Seam plush, which I wasn't originally going to talk about, but then the newsletter happened.

Firstly, look at it. Look at this battered old wizard cat. I want it.

Secondly, we get a sort-of-canon Seam design! So that's cool.

...dusty magic. Broken dreams. No tail, torn off by cruel and loving hands. The tail in your mind should be stronger than anything I show you.

THERE IS SOMETHING HERE RELATED TO THE DARK WORLDS AND DREAMS AND IMAGINATION AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT IT BUT IT'S THERE.

If they keep releasing merch, my entire house is going to be UTDR themed. I can feel my wallet getting lighter and lighter each time they release something new, and I haven't even bought any merch yet.

And finally, if you click on this antlered snowman at the bottom...

You get a message...

DESS LORE DESS LORE DESS LORE

She called Noelle 'Elly' I'm gonna cry -

More angel Noelle... and "I wish it could snow whenever I wanted"... kind of ominous given the Snowgrave route and the whole Angel's Heaven thing.

AAAA I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE WHERE THIS GOES IN THE GAME

I actually missed the snowman link at first, so obviously I'm going to be clicking everything in all future newsletters just to be sure lol.

Uhhhh... yeah. That's all.

See you next time, and happy holidays!

[charafansmile]

chapter 4 'live'blog below

Chapter 4... Rudy and toriel talking is cute. I'm curious about asgores you know what and why Carol supports it. It's neat to know that yes her name IS Carol. Rip Calloween you could have been beautiful

I really like how obviously rudy is trying to hint that susie take noelle, but again, susie is the most oblivious girl in the world

"Kris, susie is the guest. Make an excuse for her" every single thing toriel says is golden, how could anybody hate her or think she's strict. She's so #silly.

"My mom just loves heart shaped obejcts?" <- paraphrasing but WILD

hard decision.. I WILL go with berdly thank you.

DESS ROOM

:((((((

its interesting she has rations of all things,...did she get them FROM the shelter?

yeah no..i 100% think shes the roaring knight. or whats left of her is. like a flowey situation of sorts.

kris taking us out when we get the code...US controlling the soul finally..ougrhr. for my own memory: 1 2 2

im assuming this is the mayors bedroom...

its interesting her dialog here switches between red and white, it COULD be for emphasis, i think its because of candy canes.

go look again?!?! what do you mean by that asgore... ohhhh so he IS still looking for dess, and thats why the holidays are supporting him? its interesting that rudy is so friendly with toriel then. but theres probably more than that.

kris and the mayor...I have been thinking about mayor knight for a bit but her and kris? in cahoots? also. if your in the soul we r the EXACT same color as her pillows. im hiding in them as we speak.

OOPS! kris got me... they have great aim. THEIR PLAYING PIANO!!! WAILING AND SOBBING SUSIE CAN KNOW THEIR GOOD NOW

suselle.....yes i AM waiting this out till they stop talking. they didint react to kris's piano soooo

my setup btw ^

cutie pies...THEY WANT TO RAISE A SEVERD HAND TOGETHER! i could eat up an entire chapter of just these two. their so silly...i love all the relationships in this game.

i like this sprite of hers lots. shes so cute when shes teasing someone else...

THATS what moving the soul reminds me of, the sans fight..also were literally under an 'angel' doll. the angel=us theory strikes again.

the bug catcher works on us.. i also like how theres no narration and we cant press z on things as the soul.

i like kris actively fighting us.. but i want to read what suselle is saying... dess wears flannel confirmed. i need to play snowgrave i want to see how this scenes like there.

FUCK KRIS GOT ME BEFORE I COULD FINISH SEEING WHAT SUSELLE SAYS

making them trip over the hockey put for revenge

oh kris HATES us...

MAYOR REVEAL I WAS TAKING SCREENSHOTS FOR PROFILE PICTURE PURPOSES AND SHE SHOWS UP!!!

for a character with no reedeeming qualities, pizzapants is fun

i am not fighting mike. LOL! i do fw their gimic tho.

i like the windows changing

inch resting. kris and susie are both ' Dark Hero ' which feels..important. also even tho i had the spin cake in chapter 2 i didint have it in chapter 3 and the guy wont give me another one... so! no spin cake for me! BOOO.

utter nonsense, thank you toby fox. (oh wait this is apart of the prophecy...hes going to get a beard in future chapters..weird)

GERSON..he has no colors in the dark. weird. i love him btw. im going to use him in every fight.

gerson not liking prohpecies.. me and this old man r locked in.

the gerson gaster paralles...

LOL! i can clip through ralsei...

their all so fucking stupid

books we cant read..is his place like a tower of babel reference?

ralsei what the fuck are you hiding. last chapter we beat the evilsie alegations you CANNOT be doing this rn. reddit is going to be awful.

i really like how proactive susie is in making sure ralsei has stuff in her room..it makes me think about that empty room we see in chapter 3 with just a bed, a chair, and a poster...

third half you say? okay ralseis probably right my ass cannot find it.

WHAT THE FUCK LET ME GO SLOW MAN

OH THATS NO FAIR SPAWNING WHEN IM AT THE EXIT ASSHOLE

fucker now im all out of healing items... he is a cutie pie however.

i wonder if i can farm the mizzles....

i take back my comparison of drossleymeyer to gaster. clearly gerson is that sort of figure.

i really like susies friendship with gerson...

huh. guess we doin the secret boss here too. one thing ive learned is collect three items = secret boss of sorts

what the fuck is this creepy looking thing i cant get a screenshot

so im very positive gerson is writing a letter for alvin right? also this tea party is cute..

-Day 2 -

the mizzles kinda look like elnina

really bad feeling about all these darkners in stone....

wait no i dont wanna fight gerson. i do like him teasing susie tho.

HAMMER OF JUSTICE!!!! ooh you can hear undynes motif in it... oourgh the susie undyne paralles with grampa gerson...oooohhhghhh im going to die.

HE HAS GREEN MAGIC (i mean obviously, he trained undyne...) is the lord of the hammer giving us (very very vauge) rundowns of the future chapters????? oh thats nice you can rematch him to win...good. i still havent beat the roaring knight i needed a win. !!!susies healing is getting higher!

huh. and ralseis fluffiness is lower? it was 2 in chapter 2 ..hes getting depressed nooooo

SWALLOWED UP THE AUTHOR HIMSELF WHAT! ough im getting so close

what in the princess tutu oh he means alvin

grandauter

OUR choices dont matter...but maybe susies do?

pause. im going to go try and farm the mizzles to up her healing.

SHE TRICKS HIM LIKE WE TRICK SANS!!!!!!

FUCK YEAH

wait no i had her healing at 45 why'd it go down to 30 boo

couldnt get a scheenshot but that cool guy pose...yeah the roaring knight is 10000% dess.

looking at the deltarune symbol again....you could read the wings for horns.....

going to sob, the misspellings in the letter ooougghh

nothing to add this is just cute. reminds me of inviting my friends to sunday school so we could both get free candy as a reward. <- i am aware of how this sounds. yes i agree it was strange in hindsight.

susie backstory we need to revolt against toby fox for putting her through this.

aura farmers

AWW KRIS IS BLUSHING

Repetition...

oh i dont like the witch bringing back the undertale hit bar

oh so its scientist (archeologist) vs practitioners? its interesting how one group saw them as sacred and the other sees them as..less evolved.

wtf did ralsei hit the armor with

RALSEI

susie is SUPPOSED to equip ribbons? interesting... (oh wait you can put a ribbon on her in the 8bit mini game in chapter 3...interesting. you can also put a ribbon on noelle....)

3 sanctuaries... the number 3 returns

ralsei can fly??? ( yeah replaying this section hes 10000% flying wtf)

"when did you start being yourself" juxtaposed with the fetus like titan spawn...

the spriting on the titan is so cool and horrifying but damn is this fight hard. okay i closed it an reopened it.

i realized i was being noelle by saving those tension gems and tensionmax....i think even if rudy doesnt die i can kin her. i dont know what kinning is <- do not explain it to me

GERSON!!!!!

susie b.leeds.

ooougghh the waxing poetic about susies smile...

go home...ough she sees kris's house as hers... i will talk about the soriel later (SANS GET AWAY FROM HER SHES MINE) but susie wanting to stay over..toriel saying she can sleep in asriels bed..oiyrgrjhnrsg. oh wait nooo shes upset because toriel is drunk isint she noooo my baby...

i really really really like this sprite. expect this to be my pfp once a few weeks pass.

ooh no sans dont become a figure of kris's resentment at things changing nooooo . (hit image limit but the ketchup standing defiantly in the fridge... i do still think sans being friends with toriel is good for her but holy shit kris does NOT )

kris wtf did you promise...

OH COOL CHAPTER 5 COMES OUT IN 2O26!!!!

i think this is my new favorite chapter. im going to replay chapter three again and watch someone do the weird route...i may also work on that secret boss. but holy shit.

[maybe-a-gatto-or-a-catto]

OKAY SO I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT STATIC HATSUNE MIKU AND TENNA DUO DELTARUNE AU!!!!

While Chapter 3 takes place, Miku suddenly appears and causes chaos on the set because she suddenly decides to appear on TV with the fun gang and Tenna, completely misunderstanding what their TV show is about. She speaks to the audience like she is on a kid's cartoon, and is trying REALLY hard to hide that Susie decided to write a swear on her name board. When she has to explain to Tenna what happened (being also completely confused as to why she suddenly appeared in his dark world) they suddenly immediately hit it off because they're both neglected and from old TV or ARE an old TV. Tenna slaps a contract down he made on the fly and Miku signs it, making them OFFICIALLY business partners! Awesome!

Miku is particularly happy to see Kris, since they watched her show when they were a kid. She was super happy to give Kris happiness when they had family troubles. She is super eager to give that same happiness again... Though, just like Tenna, she has felt very lonely. Kris was the last person to ever watch her show on a VHS tape, and she wants Kris to go watch again. With this, I want Miku to contrast Tenna because she actually only really knows Kris. Kris watched her show when they were having troubles in their life. Tenna is the nostalgic family man, while Miku was always there for Kris. Now Miku has gotten attached to Kris in specific, and wants them to feel better about their current situation, even if she doesn't know what is going on or even knows how to help them. What she does is rooted in mostly selfishness, just like Tenna. She doesn't want to feel lonely.

Miku also feels bitter about being so neglected because she is just a small part of something bigger: THE Hatsune Miku. Everyone only cares about that other version of her, the one that appears on the box art of her voicebank. People pay less attention to the smaller Mikus that appear in songs, music videos, etc, and especially OBSCURE ones like HER. Not to mention people just credit all of it to THE Hatsune Miku. She wants to be big and well-known too like the others! But she can't. Which should parallel Spamton's desire to.. MAKE HIS OWN DEALS! TO BE FREE! She only really explains this to Tenna, but hints of this bitterness show itself to the the Fun Gang at times. (Also this could also be an allegory to people not crediting the vocaloid producers but rather Hatsune Miku.. but moving on)

Miku gets a board of her own since she keeps making mistakes as a TV host, instead acting like a cartoon character. Her board is themed after her TV show, full of childish whimsy and fun. I have no idea what the gameplay could be for this board though.. Anyway, Miku tries really hard to make Kris happy, though Kris doesn't react the way she wants to- they don't have a smile. She doesn't understand why it's not working... And, she doesn't actually understand the root of Kris' problems, and instead tries to cure the symptoms with a bandaid. Just like how Toriel and Asgore gave Kris a horn headband after they asked when their horns will grow, instead of trying to help them accept their humanity. She represents the problems Kris has had with their family. Miku has no idea what to do with this. Miku is bad with negative emotions after all. The only thing she knows is smiling. Smiling is comfort. Positivity is smiling! Actually, she has to keep smiling. The audience can't leave. Kris can't leave.

Miku has genuinely no idea that Tenna has made a deal with the Roaring Knight. Tenna does eventually show that he is hiding Toriel, but completely omits why he is keeping her safe in a gacha ball at all. (In fear of Miku leaving perhaps...). Completely unknowingly, she also makes a deal with the Roaring Knight... If Tenna does anything funky with Toriel, like... for example letting her go. She has to stop him, and she will get the popularity she wants (again). They have the same motivation... But they will have to work against eachother...

Now TIME SKIP! Tenna crashes out because the fun gang has to seal the fountain and leave his TV show. Cue the gacha ball prison and the FLAMING videogame. Miku has absolutely no idea what to do- she is freaking out herself because she thinks this is scaring Kris... Then proceeding to do the wrong thing and not address this at all with Tenna and just begging indirectly that they should do something else. Tenna does not get the insanely subtle begging of "THIS IS NOT GOOD TENNA PLEASE STOP" of course. Fun Gang escapes and Tenna looks for them. You'll get to see Miku sometimes, talking to herself that she doesn't know what to do. She admits she doesn't know how to help Kris. That she's scared they'll leave if she upsets them too much. Then it's FINALLY TIME! Tenna initiates his points battle which Miku decides to agree to because it's better than scaring away Kris. It's an awesome duo battle!! (Though Miku has more easy attack patterns purely because she wants to make it fun, rather than scary).

After the fun gang wins, it's finally time for Toriel to be returned to her rightful place. Then Miku suddenly steps in, and attacks Tenna. She looks very reluctant about all this- especially since Tenna gave her the opportunity to give smiles to people again, to Kris again. They became friends over the course of chapter 3. They are two peas in a pod, they were both left behind, with no understanding of anything but TV. Tenna is understandably confused about this and slightly freaking out again cause uh. that would technically be the second time he got betrayed. Miku tells him that this is for the sake of giving people smiles and especially Kris a smile again. She CAN'T be left behind, not again. Tenna tries to fight back and threaten with the contract... But. Since it was made on the fly the terms kinda suck ass? Along with the fact that Tenna wants to keep Miku as his friend... He had lost everyone in quick succession just an hour ago. Miku attacks again (though a little weaker). Susie steps in though, and convinces her to stop. They can figure something out all together. They will all make sure Miku gets to have people watching her show again. Tenna will have people watch TV again. Miku is kinda reluctant. Is that even possible? But she ends up agreeing to Susie's idea. Miku is really relieved by this. She won't have to hurt Tenna! And Tenna is relieved because he won't have to fight Miku! And then Tenna gets attacked by the Knight. Miku is super shocked and worried, and decides to stay with Tenna when the Fun Gang fights the Knight. The game pretty much ends the same after that... Just with Miku being an awesome friend to Tenna ｡⁠◕⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ◕⁠｡

THAT'S IT!!! I THINK!! Thank you for reading... I really liked incorporating Miku into the themes of this chapter!

[sweatertheman]

you know what, i think want to write a ralsusie fanfic! and its gonna kick ass!

i just need a good setup... i cant just have them laying in bed kissing for no reason, not that there's anything wrong with that, it just ain't for me.

hmm...

i might write smut into it...

okay, the important thing for me is that i am able to get everything as canon accurate as i can. i will sync my brainwaves with toby fox's through sheer will.

basically, the question to answer here is "how could ralsusie happen in canon?"

okay, lets lay out some facts here...

ralsei and susie have good chemistry and play off each other well. susie acts like herself and ralsei responds in a way which flusters susie or otherwise fuels her next response.

susie is emotionally guarded. inside, she's a lonely, wounded person who fears being betrayed and rejected by others, and ultimately thinks little of herself. outwardly, she's a very goofy, energetic and aggressive person, always talking herself up and generally just goofing off. a layer above that, she acts like a cold, violent bully who doesnt care about anyone and loves hurting people, even though she doesn't. and in special cases, where she both cares what someone thinks of her, but is afraid to disappoint them or otherwise make them see bad in her, she acts very gentle, polite, and distant, hiding herself from view entirely.

susie does not know how to deal with difficult emotions, like love, friendship (friendship isn't an emotion dumbass,) fear, and hurt, often contorting these feelings into baseless anger, brushing them off, or shutting down.

ralsei is likewise emotionally guarded, though slightly differently. ralsei is wounded and lonely inside just like susie, but instead of fearing being hurt by others, he fears being alone. all ralsei wants is to be validated, to be acknowledged and to feel important. ralsei wants love, but is okay being kicked around as long as it means he's being useful. the need for validation comes before all his other needs, even as his other needs are strong. to cover this desperation, ralsei hides himself behind several layers. he tries to be cheerful, friendly, unassuming, agreeable, cute. he doesn't have as many layers of defence as susie, but is significantly more guarded. ralsei cant even admit to himself that he hurts as much as he does. no one can know, he has to keep hiding. just keep smiling, and everything will be okay.

these two people pry off layers of each other's defense. ralsei can be less of a people pleaser with susie, and susie doesn't need to act threatening, or feign manners with him. while they can't magically heal each other's trauma, they provide what the other needs. ralsei loves and respects susie no matter what, but encourages her to be a better person. he wants her to open up, wants her to be able to trust other people and be herself. ralsei motivates susie to heal by providing her a safe space to be herself, and gently coaxing her into taking steps out of this space. while at first, he failed to do this, he has since gotten a better understanding of her, and a deeper appreciation of her as a person. as for what susie does for ralsei, she provides him not just with validation, but with respect, something ralsei has little of for himself. susie doesnt just idly fawn over ralsei or use him for her own ends, she sees him as a real person and encourages him to do the same. susie provides ralsei with the framework to better understand the world and himself, by showing him he is capable of being his own person, capable of making his own choices, and by giving him unconditional respect. she won't stop respecting his personhood if he does something she doesn't like.

for ralsusie to happen, there needs to be an incitint incident, something to light the fuse on all this potential. hm.

what if we do something like beauty and the beast? a gesture of kindness towards susie which means enough to her for her to want to make her own gesture? susie is usually very uncomfortable with displays of affection, so itd have to be something big enough for her to feel bad not returning the kindness.

oh god man, the fucking BLUSHY SPRITE. we were ROBBED of that! that scene was already ralsusie fuel, but with susie bleeding and ralsei healing her and her face getting red, that would have MADE this! i can understand why they didnt put it in, it would have flown in the face of the chapter's focus on suelle and probably made people mad. while i do still hope that suselle doesnt happen, it would be better not to have susie all blushy over anyone during the time until a big story beat about it. too much affection towards noelle makes a rejection feel cheap, while too much affection towards anyone else kills the ship and pisses people off, especially when you've only just planted the seeds for a rejection.

anyway, the gesture of kindness from ralsei should be something intimate and large.

hmmmm...

i dont know, a suselle rejection could be grounds for ralsei to make a gesture, but nah, i dont wanna bash suselle much more than i already have. i dont think i could do it tastefully enough for it not to seem mean, so ill just not, even though i think thats likely what a catalyst for ralsusie in canon WOULD be. plus, you have to BUILD to that sort of thing. i can't just have susie show up and say "i had this falling out with noelle and now i'm sad" because you miss the hurt that makes it meaningful. but i also cant spend several chapters showing how they ended up at a point where they could have that falling out. you either explain well or you dont explain.

okay hmm. it has to be something not necessarily big, but rather personal and intimate. something meaningful. something which touches susie to a degree that she starts thinking about ralsei, and wants to return his affection.

the reason it can't be the other way around is because susie doesnt do displays of affection, because those require being vulnerable. when offered a gift by kris she turns it into a game of oneupsmanship not because she wasn't touched by the idea they wanted to give her a gift badly enough to steal one for her, but because its the way she avoids being vulnerable, while still giving kris something in return.

hm.

actually, maybe i'm thinking about this all wrong?

maybe its just the accumulations of little things which start making her think about him? all the little kindnesses and consistent affirmations give her the ralsei brainrot, and she tries to come up with an affection to return to him. we open in media res (in the middle of things) with susie trying to come up with something to do for ralsei, maybe in the middle of class?

alright, that'll do it! i can take inspiration from some of zixzs and vsa pieldepapel's works if i need!

[goomyloid]

I think a lot about a version of the pacifist route Spamton fight where Kris goes down there with just Noelle instead and has the same post-battle freak out and Noelle being the one to notice/ask if they’re okay. And how she would react to the strained Yes vs yelled No. Especially knowing how she's so determined to figure out what's up with Kris in the weird route, I think it's interesting if she has the same attention to detail and desire to understand what's happening to Kris in the pacifist route.

ok my jaw kinda dropped open reading this. i have honestly never thought of this before and now im going Crazy. oh my gourd i reeeeeally hope someday in the future we get to face a secret boss with noelle…. it would be so awesomes

there is a real difference between how kris acts around noelle vs. how they act around ralsei and susie… because the latter two are ‘newer’ friends with less complicated history i feel as though they’re more straightforward and open around them in a sense. like theyre Able to bring themself to yell NO because they know in the back of their head that both susie and ralsei will try to comfort kris in their own ways. along with that, i guess it’s because of susie’s insistence on finding out if kris is okay or not that they managed to ask them if they were ok at all. basically, its multiple cases of less people holding back on various things…

i personally imagine it being kind of different for noelle. she Thinks a lot of things without actually saying them. she probably wouldn’t stop everything to question that just happened with spamton neo, and if she were to ask kris if they were ok, it would be more based on a gut feeling that something is really wrong more than anything else, if that makes sense… the way kris is friends with noelle is different than how they’re friends with susie. theyre almost less straightforward with noelle, with their idea of bonding being silly pranks and messing with her (stuff kris wouldnt do to susie lol). i wonder if they’d be able to be honest about how they felt like how they were with susie and ralsei, or if it’d turn into them hiding how they feel even more… (something something It’s hard for noelle to get a straightforward answer from kris in general)

noelle being concerned about what’s “happening” to kris in the main route feels difficult, maybe just because it’s so amplified negatively in the weird route, but at this point in time, most people seem to be interpreting kris’s more social behavior as a good thing… when something actually appears to be Wrong for the first time (kris freaking out after spamton neo), susie has no good benchmark of what kris was really like before, and ralsei is being Ralsei-ish about it… if kris were to have the same reaction in front of noelle after all, i think it would deeply disturb her way more than any other character. personally i just dont think kris is the Yelling Type, like at all, so for noelle to hear that from them for the first time (or maybe she’s heard kris yell before in a really bad situation, which then might let her know just how Bad this all is) it would probably really surprise her, and kris would probably regret shouting as a result… not a funny prank

just in general i think kris has a weird combination of like, wanting someone to Notice that something’s different, but also pushing people away out of fear and desire for solitude (and again this applies more so to noelle specifically). like in the main route, it might be easier to believe that things working out for everyone this way is just Better, no one else needs to worry about the Weird Fucking Thing controlling them, they can handle this on their own… until they cant. general desire to not burden others if at all possible. ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY noelle would Really have to lock in and pry at kris a little bit in order to find out that they are “not them” because in the main route where things Aren’t bad, that desperation from the soul doing fuck all in the weird route isnt there anymore

ok im gonna end the post here… your scenario activated a lot of neurons i never even knew i had

[lancerious]

Gimme any of your King thoughts you have rn

Good heavens

Uhhh I'll just list a bunch of random thoughts I have that I hope are fresh and not repeated a thousand times over lol

I imagine Spade King suffers from something called separation anxiety disorder, or SAD. If he doesn't have SAD specifically, then he at least has some general anxiety. There are a few parts to this, mostly involving theorizing and speculation. First, we have no idea what happened to Spade King's parents, though I headcannon that said parents passed away when their son was still fairly young. Regardless whether the parent/child relationship was healthy or not, they were still separated somehow. The same goes for Queen; we don't know the specifics of their relationship--though it likely was far from perfect, given how they're divorced--but they were separated regardless. I feel like this is most important with Lancer, as it's the one person Spade King likely holds in high enough regard. Given how the relationship between them is a bit...messy, with characters like Susie only making it worse, there's bound to be some anxiety from that. This is without mentioning how Spade King's presumed first interaction with Lightners ended abhorrently. I feel like all of this adds up to there being at least some anxiety in Spade King, perhaps it's mostly contained within him at the moment, even if he does lash out at times. This was a long one lol, but I think it's an important idea and likely has some footing.

Don't ask me why but I headcannon Spade King as having some Scandinavian accent, ofc we don't have an actual voice for him but I think a Scandinavian accent would fit him lol.

I like to think Spade King always had--and still has--a very wild and active imagination! I imagine he would daydream a ton, often to escape the likely not-so-pleasing reality he found himself in. Maybe he even wrote some of those said daydreams down when he was younger, but has since given it up.

I have the idea of Spade King--and the other overthrown kings by extension--knowing Jevil & Seam since he was a child. It's not entirely unlikely this is the case, as both Seam & Jevil are likely two of the oldest Darkners we know so far. We can only speculate, though I bet younger Spade King saw Jevil & Seam perform for the then-current monarchs, whoever they may be. Maybe Spade King found it entertaining, or maybe he wished he was doing anything else lol, who knows.

Another headcannon, I think Spade King is generally suspicious of Rouxls Kaard. There is some merit to this idea: first, Rouxls Kaard seems a bit out-of-place amongst the other Chapter 1 Darkners. Even if he fits the general theme of cards/puzzles/whatever, he still stands out. I imagine his introduction to then-Card Kingdom is akin to Sans & Papyrus from Undertale, what with them randomly popping into existence one day with no given explanation. Second, the idea of Rouxls being the "Duke of Puzzles" despite his much-blatant incompetence is a bit, well, odd. There were literally Darkners in that very area who specialized in puzzles, so why replace them with someone who seems horribly unfit for the job? See, I think there's a lot more to Rouxls, a lot more potential, and he's attempting to hide it by acting incompetent. That, or he genuinely doesn't know how to grapple with his large amount of power. Either way, I suspect Spade King was, and still is, aware of this to a degree. Perhaps he was trying to get Rouxls to snap out of it, or wanting to see how the notorious Duke would thrive in a position of authority. Who knows! It's just a theory I have.

Bit of a random thing, but if there was any Darkner from Chapter 2 who would have a decent chance at getting along with Spade King, it would be Swatch. First, Swatch runs a café. If Spade King does love to cook/bake, which is what I and clearly others think, that's already a good start. Second, Swatch has a very laid-back, professional, and overall "proper" personality. I think that sort of personality would go well with Spade King's--I doubt Swatch would get on his nerves often, if at all. I could probably think of more things, but still! I can see Swatch & Spade King being decent buddies, or at least tolerating each other, which is already impressive for Spade King lol. Though Swatch being loyal to Queen is a stumbling block now that I think about it, but hey, everything else works! Yaaay...lol.

This one's a bit out there and has nothing to back it up, but I like the idea of Spade King having resided in what is now Lancer's room when he was a child. Room inheritance! I guess you could say this works by process of elimination given what we know about Card Castle's layout, though it's possible said layout was different in the past. I dunno, I just think it's a sweet idea!

Whelp that's it lol, that's all my scatterbrained mind can think of for this post. It's difficult to think of things to say without being given proper guidelines lol but I have something!

[ryutarotakedown]

susato for the character ask game! if she’s already been sent in then olive/viridian :^)

AAAAAAAH THANK YOU!!! im doing both because i feel like i say everything i think abt susato immediately on here lmao so i probably have more olive thoughts than anything

headcanon A: realistic

susato is autistic. sososo autistic. and as a result she learned most of her Way of Speaking (and english in general) from the herlock sholmes zine serials, which i think is actually pseudo-canon according to an interview with the localizer janet hsu? but anyway at one point she says something like “it is a great joy to know what emotions lie behind that cold mask” with the utmost politeness to, like, maria or somebody, and iris is like. ohh susie! i think i know where you got that from! ^-^ and susato has the delayed realization that half of her prepared lines were written by a ten year old

also susato has really good sea legs considering she's spent like [thinks] eight whole months at sea by the time she arrives in japan post-canon

i really like that one fanart with the headcanon that olive needs glasses!! i also think that she had severe anxiety as a teenager (and still does, it just manifests in a different way now) such that she had trouble speaking at all at times (selective mutism) which is how she got to be so fast at painting arrows on her palette thing. it's lessened a bit by the time we meet her but she likes doing it for emphasis anyway

headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

i cannot find the fanart for the life of me but please know i am always constantly thinking about that one comic where susato flies away with her hair loops flapping like a bird's wings. i am haunted by it.

on a more original note i think susato should consensually steal iris's smoke gun so she can go try to shoot her initials into the walls of the mikotoba mansion again. "the problem with the Real gun, naruhodou-sama, was the recoil! but this one should do the trick :)!" she succeeds and also dyes her father's hair blue in the process. hey at least he matches with sholmes-of-two-months-ago now

oh god let's see, do i have any good olive headcanons? i think her middle name is viridian and the difference between her original and localization counterparts is that viridian hates the color olive and olive hates the color viridian. they're both so glad their parents gave them two options.

headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

maybe i should have put this one in "realistic" but: consider the fact that susato arrives to london early the second time because she didn't get on the same boat as her father. consider that after they find out about him, both ryuunosuke and susato think it's possible that yuujin knew kazuma wasn't dead (even though this is disproved immediately after they tell him about it). consider susato running away from ryuunosuke after telling him she has to leave in 1-5. anyway i think avoidance is susato's main coping mechanism and she chose to spend 2 more months alone on a ship with no one she knew because she couldn't bear to look at her father for more than three seconds without making herself sick with wondering what he was hiding

i thought for so long about olive but the thing is. i genuinely don't think i could make her story more tragic than it already is without making it just, horrifically dark, you know? i thought a bit about whether she would be executed for attempted murder but i do think the system of tgaa is more lenient on that than the actual modern ace attorney universe, so. let's see — canon says she has parents and that she and duncan were waiting to graduate before telling them about their engagement, so i think they tried to talk to her after she dropped out but the selective mutism kicked in for like. a very long period of time. while she went to briar road every day, pretending not to hear them calling after her that this wasn't healthy. she heard them talk about possibly institutionalizing her behind her back and figured, what's another straitjacket. after she gets placed in prison they do come visit her and try to hide that they're horrified that she would ever go so far as to poison someone for that ross boy who they never did approve of that much, but she can tell. she doesn't speak much to them. they still visit every week.

headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

i have said this probably a million times already but susato should have Exploded in 2-5!!! she should have blown up!!!! she should have had a meltdown!!!! why don't we have a susato breakdown sprite other than her trying to chuck her book into the ocean!!!!!!!!!! also she spills everything to haori once she gets back and they kiss about it.

ALSO also this isn't "unrealistic" exactly but it is unbelievable to me that susato & haori are not canonically childhood best friends so i am just. going to canonize that. one extra word. there

while in prison olive keeps drawing anywhere and everywhere and more and more people join in until it's a whole underground movement thing, and 200 years later textbooks will say that the term and practice of "art therapy" originated from a felon convicted of attempted murder whose name has sadly been lost to the annals of history (her signature was stylized in all-lowercase like "olive green" so as to be Emo, and so they thought she was just making a statement about color theory)

[genork-the-fandork]

Perfect Birthday

Word Count: 753 | Characters: Tom Rizzotto & Cadence, ft. the Band | Dedicated to Tom, Trombone Man of My Heart A/N: It is Tom's birthday! And no, I didn't look up every BCB birthday I could find in the Discord server! Definitely not! Anyway, it's my favorite trombone man's birthday, and I wanted to celebrate. Rather than continuing my angsty fix-it fic, I decided on doing this instead. Enjoy! (And enjoy the meme I made last year soon after the game's release.)

Light floods the band room, revealing the silhouette of a lanky trombone player who's scratching his head in confusion. "I could have sworn…"

"SURPRISE!" On cue, we all leap out from our hiding places. Alex hits the lights, and Tom blinks as he takes in the sight of the band room decked out in streamers and balloons. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOM!"

"Whoa!" What was a shocked and slightly terrified expression quickly turns into one of Tom's famous grins. "Hey, thanks, guys!"

Peter smirks and crosses his arms. "It was my idea, of course." Samuel turns his face in Peter's direction, eyebrows slightly raised, and the trumpeter sighs and gestures to me. "Fine, fine. It was Cadence's idea."

Tom's entire face softens, and I feel my heart pound as he looks at me. "Thanks, Cadence. This is awesome."

"You're awesome, Tom," I say. "When I said we should celebrate your birthday, everyone was quick to help out. You really are the heart of this band."

A happy blush spreads across his face, and both Peter and Samuel go to wish him a happy birthday. It'll be their last time celebrating Tom's birthday before they graduate, though something tells me nothing would stop those three from hanging out, not even college. Peter hands Tom a T-shirt, and I have a feeling it's the "trom-boner" shirt that they've been passing back and forth. Will the siege ever end?

Susie appears at my shoulder, smiling at the boys. "You know, I'm kind of jealous. Seems like you're a great girlfriend, lady." She gives me the same look she had when I first told her I was into Tom. "Wonder what he'll do for your next birthday."

"That's a while away, Susie," I grumble, elbowing her lightly. I wouldn't even ask Tom to do something like plan a surprise party. But since the band loves him so much—since I love him so much—I had wanted to include everyone in the celebration. Even if we weren't dating, I'd probably do the same thing. Probably. (Of course I would. It's Tom.)

"Go on, go wish him a happy birthday yourself. I'm sure he's waiting to hear it from you." Susie gives me a light push, and I try not to stumble my way over to Tom. 

Peter and Sam have drifted away, most likely to peruse the snacks everyone brought. Everyone else is mingling on their own, so it's only me and Tom. Me and Tom. Tom and I? Now was not the time for syntax. "Happy birthday, Tom," I settle on, giving him my sweetest smile. Not that I know exactly how to make a smile sweet. "I hope you like your party."

"It's the best gift I could've gotten," he replies, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug. With a chuckle, I bury my face in his shirt. As cliché as it sounds, in this moment, it's just the two of us. And it's either his natural body heat, or Tom's happiness is warming me up. Which is probably not good in late May.

With that thought in mind, I pull away and look up at him. "Come on, let's get you some cake. Otherwise the freshman might eat it all."

"Wouldn't want that!" He takes his arms away, but even as we walk over to the cake that Marian brings out, he doesn't let go of my hand.

I'm a little embarrassed to admit Susie suggested I feed Tom a bite of his birthday cake. He nearly chokes on it. But that's okay, because he smiled and said it was delicious. That made up for the embarrassment.

~ ~ ~

"Not sure how I'm going to top such a great party," Tom admits to me as we clean up. "The pressure's on for your birthday."

I place my hand over his, lacing our fingers together. "Tom, what was the best part about today?"

He thinks about it, and then he smiles down at me. "When you said 'happy birthday' to me."

"Exactly." I bring his hand to my lips and kiss it gently, grinning at the blush that crosses his face. "As long as I spend it with you, even if it's only a few hours, I'll be happy. Besides, I'd rather celebrate it with a few rather than the whole band. So many people."

"Consider it done. And we might as well play some video games while we're at it." He leans down and kisses my temple.

"Sounds like a perfect birthday."

"Any birthday is with you, Cadence."

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

154 of 2025

What types of soups do you like?

All soups (well, almost), but they need to have chunks of veggies in. I'm a weird Belgian, I don't like blended soups most of the time.

If a color could reflect your current mood, which would it be?

I don't know, I'm not good at such things.

How many people are in the place you are in right now?

Just me and Susie, she's drinking water right now. But then, yeah, Susie is a cat.

What color is the chair/couch/bed you are sitting on now?

Brown. More specifically, dark brown.

Do you prefer hoodies, jackets or coats?

Hoodies all the way.

The last time you saw fireworks?

Probably at New Years. Not sure, though.

Have you ever gone to a movie premiere?

No. I don't like movies anyway.

What stereotype are you/did you used to be placed in at school?

Probably goth, but those who knew nothing about alternative cultures might call me emo, which I've never been lol. Anyway, our school stereotypes aren't the same as in the US.

What’s in the room directly to the right of you?

Kitchen. And backyard.

Whose house were you in last apart from your own?

My parents, I think.

Can you make brownies? When did you last make them?

I've never made brownies and honestly, I'm not very much interested in doing it.

Do you swear often?

Way too often.

Do you enjoy crosswords and other word puzzles? How about sudoku?

I prefer logic games, but yeah, crosswords aren't bad either.

Who was the last person to make you laugh out loud?

Someone over the internet, with their comments. ut for the IRL people, this train conductor who was talking about this and that instead of doing his announcement, and I happened to record it. Pure comedy.

Do you like Belgian waffles?

Which ones? We have more than one type of waffle in my country. Anyway, the Liège waffles definitely aren't my favourite. Too thick dough, and way too sweet. Brussels waffles for life, particularly with whipped cream and fresh strawberries on top.

What color is the door into the room you are in now?

Both are grey.

Can you say “Please may I have the bill” in any other language than English?

Well, my first language is Dutch, so yeah, I can by logic. If I tried hard enough, maybe I would even make it in French.

Do you go out of the way to help people you don’t know?

Yeah, sometimes. Even such *little* things as helping an elderly person with a walking aid to get out of the bus.

What’s your definition of an evil person:

Pedophiles, enough said. Even other prisoners despise those who harm children in any way.

When was the last time you had a seriously bad flu/cold?

Never. I'm having a mild viral infection now - well, it's gone, but my GP said the symptoms can last for a couple of weeks, and I can feel it. Still stuffed nose and a bit of cough, but the worst is over. I didn't even have a fever, but my nose was like a broken tap last week.

What was the last commercial you heard selling?

Pampers diapers lol.

Do you own a digital camera?

Yes, I do. Good old Canon Ixus 160. Still works perfectly, but the battery had to be replaced.

The last time you went to an amusement park?

October last year with my guys, I think. Only for coin machines.

Would you rather struggle to hide emotion or struggle to feel it?

Hide, I think. But then, it depends on the day.

Do you prefer fairly common names or a bit out of the ordinary ones?

No preference, if I like it, then I like it.

Would you rather have a pet cat, dog, horse or tortoise?

Kitty all the way.

How many hours sleep do you get on an average night?

Around 7.

Is your laugh loud, normal or very silent?

Loud and crazy lol.

What things do you not like talking about?

My neurological disorder. It's kinda traumatic.

Would your best friend say you would make a good parent?

He does, but yeah. Long story. XD