#this doesn't count to me . i want them to talk properly . i need to study them i need them to study each other

[daz4i]

hey asagiri. when i said i want dazai and nikolai to interact more. this isn't what i meant 🧐

[phantasmallussion]

The Equation of Us

In which Phainon is a hopeless chemistry student who finally understands the subject by falling hopelessly in love and turning every exam into a love letter.

content: phainon x gn!reader, modern university au

word count: 1.7k

note: i wanted to make something before his banner drops, so here's an attempt. this is my first time writing phainon, so i'm so sorry if it's bad or ooc. formatted on phone, so the format might be a bit off as well.

I. Phainon is Bad at Chemistry (Until He Isn't)

Phainon is, by all definitions, a disaster at General Chemistry.

It's not that he doesn't try. He studies, shows up to classes, and even volunteers to mop the lab floor when someone drops the potassium-filled beaker again. But there is just something about acids, chemical bonding, and thermodynamics that just... won't stick.

Until you came along.

Somehow, the moment he started associating chemical principles with you, everything clicked. Like how ionic bonds are one-sided love. Or how magnetic fields reminded him of the ways you make his heart pull sideways when you walk into the room. Soon his notes are no longer filled with the complicated jargons and diagrams as was shown by his professor, Anaxagoras, on the board but is instead replaced with little doodles and analogies connected to you.

Suddenly, chemistry is Phainon's favourite subject. Not because he's good at it, but because every question feels like a metaphor for his hopeless crush.

II. A Guide to Chemistry (Written in Phainon-Speak)

(Or, a glimpse into Phainon's notebook)

He's doomed. And Mydei, his best friend, is now aware of it.

They were studying together after classes, reviewing notes and discussing lessons. But this study session has long devolved into Phainon drawing stick figures of you and him with electrons drawn between them. He has not been paying attention to any of Mydei's words for the past 15 minutes and Mydei is starting to be annoyed at the lack of response. So he turned his gaze to his silent friend and came face-to-face with a very concerning list of things.

✧ Note A: Bonding Types ○ Ionic bond: When someone gives away everything—like I would, if they asked. One-sided, but powerful. Painful and devastating, very me-coded. ○ Covalent bond Shared electrons = shared food and drinks. Strong and stable. Very couple-coded. ○ Hydrogen bond Small and fleeting, like when their hands brushed against mine once and I couldn't breathe for three minutes.

✧ Note B: Magnetic Fields Technically it is formed when charges move. But also, when they enter a room and all my atoms realign. North Pole, South Pole? All irrelevant, my compass only points to them.

✧ Note C: Activation Energy The minimum energy needed to start a reaction. For me, that's three hours of inner turmoil, two hours of Mydei pep talks, and one caffeine overdose just to text them: 'hey do u wanna study together later maybe if you're free haha'.

✧ Note D: Chemical Equilibrium When the forward and reverse reactions are equal and occur at the same rate. It's like when they flirt with me by accident and I flirt back on purpose, they get flustered and I get flustered, we both freaked out and retreated at the same time. Balance. Equilibrium achieved. Both parties suffering.

"You're gonna fail both chem and romance in the same semester at this rate."

"HEY!!"

Mydei is tired and exasperated.

But Phainon? Phainon has never understood chemistry better.

III. Midterm Examinations and the Paper That Started It All

Phainon's Chemistry Midterm Paper

(Graded by: Professor Anaxagoras Professor Cerces)

Comment (all written in Cerces' handwriting): Professor Anaxa has refused to grade this paper properly so I have taken the liberty of grading it in his stead.

Question 1: Define polar vs non-polar covalent bonds. Answer: A polar bond is like when I like them more than they like me. Unbalanced, but still connected. A non-polar bond is when we're both blushing idiots too afraid to confess. Equal, with maximum tension. (I prefer non-polar, personally) Comment: Full marks.

Question 2: Describe an exothermic reaction. Answer: An exothermic reaction releases heat into the surroundings. Like when they laughed. Or when they brushed my hair back last Tuesday and I short-circuited. Pretty sure I melted internally. 100% heat released. No regrets. Comment: Correct. Also, too much detail.

Question 3: Explain Le Chatelier's Principle. Answer: When a system is disturbed, it shifts to restore balance. If I start ignoring them (usually by accident), they start sending me dog memes. When they forget to reply, I send them stupid chemistry puns. We always shift to equilibrium, return to chaotic harmony. It's the balance of love. Comment: Scientific accuracy = ✔️ Emotional damage = also ✔️

Question 4: What is an intermolecular force, and how does it differ from intramolecular force? Answer: Intermolecular = between separate molecules = the gravitational pull I feel when they walk by. Intramolecular = inside the molecule = the feelings I try to supress but fail to contain. TL;DR: both are responsible for me being completely stuck on them Comment: Perfectly phrased. It's brilliant, but also tragic.

Extra Credit (Free Response): What does chemistry mean to you? Answer: Chemistry is the invisible pull between two elements. Sometimes reactive, sometimes dangerous. but sometimes... just right. They are the element I wasn't supposed to discover, but now that I have, I don't think I'll ever be inert again. Also, please pass me. I need this for graduation. I'll even name my next molecule after you. Comment: A+ Score. And do note that the one who graded this paper is me, Cerces, not Anaxa.

Final Score: 85/100. PASS.

IV. And The News Spreads

It starts small.

Anaxa "accidentally" leaks a few lines to Aglaea in the faculty lounge. A student nearby heard their conversation and got their hands on the original paper. An anonymous student submitted it to the school zine as a meme; it somehow passed checks and got published under the title "Chemical Bonding: The Sappy Edition". The zine was quickly stopped soon after but word still spread faster than flu season in the dorm halls.

But they weren't just laughing at it, they were studying with it. Freshmen started using it as study guides. Then came the memes, the academic forum post, and a bootleg version was reprinted under the name "Chemistry of Love 101" in a study zine.

And Phainon... Phainon became a chemistry icon.

V. The Dreaded Day (But This Time Phainon Is Ready)

Phainon walks in early with a confident stride and sit front and center. He was calm. Too calm. Anaxa side-eyes him from his position on the podium.

A few hours later, the exam papers had all been collected and ready for grading. Anaxa's hands reaches for one at random. He took a quick glance at the answer, then stared hard at the name column, and finally released a huge sigh. Today is going to be a long day.

Then, one afternoon, the results came in

Students filtered out of the lecture hall in waves, clutching their graded papers with expressions ranging from mild horror to cautious joy.

You were sitting on the steps outside the chemistry building, drink in one hand and phone on the other, scrolling aimlessly. The air was buzzing with noise and the breeze was warm. You honestly didn't expect much from today—maybe a nap, maybe existential dread. But what you certainly didn't expect is for Phainon to stand in front of you, nervously hugging a stack of papers like it contained both his future and his grocery list.

"Hey," he said.

You looked up. He was flushed, hair a little messy, expression nervous but hopeful.

"Hey," you answered, smiling. "You okay?"

He hesitated, then dropped onto the step beside you with a dramatic sigh.

"I'm about to do something dumb," he muttered.

You raised an eyebrow at that. "Is it the same kind of dumb as replacing Mydei's sugar and salt bottles, or...?"

"No, like—emotionally dumb," he said, then pulled a single sheet from the middle of the stack and held it out. "Here. Read this."

You blinked. "You're... giving me your final exam paper?"

"Just look at it. Please?" he said, eyes wide and weirdly intense. "I swear it's not about the grades."

You took the page. At the top was his name written in familiar scrawl.

And right below that is what you could recognise as Anaxa's handwriting:

Grade: 100/100

Comment: I refuse to ever lay my (singular) eye on this paper again. I recommend you send these "texts" to the actual recipient instead of my grading inbox.

You snorted. "Already promising," you said, flipping the page.

What followed is less like a science exam and more like a romantic thesis disguised as academic desperation.

Some carefully selected excerpts from Phainon's finals:

"A chemical reaction must overcome activation energy. I overcame mine the day I met them."

"Endothermic reactions absorb heat. But being around them is exothermic, they make me burn and I will do so happily."

"Stability constant, K = [Products]/[Reactants]. And I am more stable when they are near."

"When I say I love them, it's not hyperbole. It's data. Proven through every beat of my heart and every laugh of theirs that knocks the air out of my lungs. They are the catalyst and I am hopelessly, irreversibly reacting."

And at the very end, written almost like a postscript, is your name followed by "will you be my equilibrium?"

You stared at the last line for a long moment, something warm and strange tightening in your chest. Beside you, Phainon was silent. You turned your head. He was staring straight ahead, hands fidgeting on his lap, as if afraid to look you in the eye.

"You really wrote all this?" you asked softly.

He let out a breath that trembled at the edges. "Yeah. I didn't think Professor Anaxa would read the whole thing. I was just—y'know—sleep deprived, emotionally compromised, and full of caffeine."

You traced the margin of the paper with your finger.

"But I meant all of it," his voice was firm although he still wasn't looking at you. "Even if i flunked, i figured i should try telling the truth, just once."

You reached into your bag and pulled out a red pen of your own. Phainon blinked as you uncapped it and scribbled something at the end of the paper, then passed it back to him.

He read it. Paused. And nearly fell off the steps.

Beside the black ink of his own handwriting is your newly added words written in red.

"will you be my equilibrium?"

Grade: 100/100

Comment: Yes. Always."

[darlingdaisyfarm]

hmm…distracting the boys from their work/studies leaving them completely subby and desperate and begging for more?

nsfw, i don't know if i did this request correctly, but my imagination ran wild

don’t do this with Stan. i swear please don’t. unless you want a complete fucking mess within minutes, he’s not even built for resisting that shit. Stan genuinely tries to focus, really puts in an effort to go over the books, count the inventory, do the receipts or whatever boring-ass task he’s already been procrastinating for days but the second you walk in his eyes totally locked on your thighs, especially if you’re wearing smth with easy access, like a skirt or just your underwear and one of his big shirts. yeah you knew what you were doing. you wanted to tease him.

and it’s worse if you act casual about it. stretch in front of him, bend over slow as if you’re looking for something, hum to yourself while pretending you don’t know what you’re doing. that’s the fastest way to have Stan groaning behind you and grabbing your hips

immediately it goes “c’mon, doll. . . let me just— shit, lemme have it, please,” while fumbling with your clothes, not even properly undressing you, he doesn’t have the patience. he’s trying to pull your panties to the side with one hand while unzipping himself with the other, kissing your neck “you knew what you were doing, wearin’ this around me while i’m tryin’ to work.”

Stanley doesn’t care if he ends up fucking you against the counter or the wall or on the office floor, he just needs to be inside you. he’s panting, pressing his whole body into you. keeps half whining into your ear like, “c’mon sweetheart, lemme just put it in, just a second, promise i’ll make it quick. you’re killin’ me here. just sit down on it, baby,” he’d plead. “you don’t gotta do nothin’, just let me slide in, just for a minute, just a little bit, i’m goin’ nuts over here, you feel what you’re doin’ to me?” he's sweating while grinding against your thigh

”baby c’mon. . . you can’t just do that to a guy. please. i can still sign the forms or whatever. you don’t have to move, i’ll do all the work”

and you just laugh. “nooo, Stanley. you said you had work. taxes, remember?”

and the look he gives you. he can’t believe you’d do him like this. he’s being punished for being responsible. seriously?

he ruts his hips up into you anyway. through his pants. pathetic. his cock already leaking and twitching from just that little grind of your warm thighs over him. “god, sweetheart, you’re so mean, you know what that does to me. you’re gonna walk out like this? with me all— like this?” and he gestures helplessly toward his bulge, a little too hard now to ignore.

he doesn't yet know who he's dealing with though. so you just give him a kiss on the cheek and wiggle off his lap like nothing happened. “you’ll live, Stan. finish your taxes.” and ohhhh, he will not forget that.

you walk away from him like that, don’t be surprised when an hour later he corners you in the hallway and fucks the life out of you. “you think you can tease me, huh? think you can walk around with that pretty little ass and not expect to pay for it?” growling in your ear while giving you backshots that shake the damn floorboards YAY FERAL STAN

but also i think he’ll be grumpy about it all day, too “don’t talk to me, im mad at you. unless you’re gonna finish what you started.”

FORD actually tries to be serious. poor boy starts with full intentions of getting shit done. but of course then you walk in, wearing basically nothing and pretending it’s totally normal. leaning over the table, pressing your chest right up against his arm, twirling your fingers in his hair while asking “what are you reading, sweetheart?”

awww, his ears go red first, then his neck, and by the time your hand trails down to his thigh he’s already squirming in his chair. “p-please don’t do this right now,” he's begging you to stop while silently hoping you’ll keep going. his cock is fully hard in his pants from just the SIGHT of you. “i need to finish this,” he stammers, not even looking at the page anymore.

Ford has like three pairs of pants in the laundry basket already. this is the last clean one. he cannot cum in these. please. he knows if you make him finish in his pants again he’s going to be walking around the lab pantless.

and you just keep teasing him, “what, baby? you look tense. should i help you relax?” and he tries, god he tries to resist but his hand is already sliding under your thigh and his hips are twitching. he’s biting his pen so hard his teeth crack it.

he ends up with ink in his mouth because the pen explodes, trying stay quiet while you grind in his lap. wow, you startled him into biting through his pen. this man definitely knows a thing or two about abstinence. so you bet your ass he still cums in his pants. again.

“mmm, Ford, baby, id love to keep going, but i just remembered!! i promised my friend id call. don’t miss me too much, yeah?” oh.. guess he'll have to sit here needy for a while longer. because then you leave him. just like that, hard and twitching in his pants. and the second you close the door, Ford groans, placing his forehead on the desk. hand slowly sneaking down because he has to, he can’t not

Ford is so whiny. he tries to hide his face behind his arm when he starts rutting into his fist, whispering your name over and over, hoping and begging you’ll come back and catch him. that you’ll walk in and tell him he’s being disgusting and pathetic.

he’d take it. fuck, he’d take anything. he’ll be quick, he swears, won’t even touch you if you don’t want it. you can ride him, use his cock, treat him like nothing. just please. please come back, darling. please.

but you’re already half into your plans, laying on your stomach with the phone pressed to your ear, mumbling something about movie until you feel the mattress sag under someone's weight. the warmth of someone behind you and slow grind of a hard, aching bulge pressing into the curve of your ass.

“don’t hang up, love. just keep talking.” Ford gives you a kiss on the neck. “you don’t even have to touch me. just let me slide inside. need to be inside. i’ll be good, starlight. . .” Ford is pressing you down, covering your body with his, dragging your panties down your thighs with trembling fingers afraid you’ll stop him, trying to be gentle. “just the tip, darling. please.”

OMFGGGFFGG

[just-writing-a-bit]

Roommate

Wanda Maximoff x female reader

Summary: Y/n is in her dorm room when a thunderstorm breaks out. Scared by the loud noise and the whipping wind, she goes to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. In the kitchen, she meets Wanda. The two get to talk and Wanda comforts y/n about the storm. Warnings: None, this is mainly fluff

Word count: 2.3 k

Pov y/n

The room is dark, barely any light filtering in from outside. Despite the curtains being closed, I know the sky is dark with clouds, darker even than on any other night.

A loud thunder startles me and I pull the blanket up higher. Wind whips around the dorm building, making it creak, as if it couldn't withstand the weather. It will, I know that, but it's still a little scary.

Being alone during a thunderstorm like this in the dark is scary in so many ways. I know, nothing can happen to me but that doesn't ease me at all. It's still loud and the lightings bright. Back at home, I didn't like thunderstorms at night either, it always felt like it was just me and my family in our flat, secluded from the world by the storm. Now in my dorm room, I feel like it's just me and that makes it even worse. The world could end outside and it would be just me.

I swallow and turn to lay on my side, pulling the blanket up higher. Rain hits my window hard, filling my room with a sound that I usually find comforting. Now it's a companion from the storm and thunder and not at all comforting.

The wind makes the building creak again and I press my eyes shut, hoping to just fall asleep. But I won't, just like I haven't in the past fifteen minutes.

As a 21-year-old, I should probably not be bothered by the weather like this but I am. It's already a little creepy during the day when the sky goes black and pours rain like buckets from the clouds and sends thunder and lighting down, but at night it's so much worse. Knowing I'm all by myself isn't helping either. No one to comfort me, to distract me. It's just me and my thoughts.

Lighting brightens my room before thunder follows, rolling through the sky loudly as if it wanted to wake everyone. It's beyond me how people can sleep through such a storm. I always wake up during them and stay awake until they subside.

After another lighting-thunder combination, I give up on trying to sleep and swing my legs out of my bed. With a sigh, I slide into my slippers and pull a jacket off a hook by the door. In moments like these, I wish I had someone to share my room with. At least then I wouldn't be totally alone.

There are other people on this level of the dorm, of course, but no one I'm really close with. No one I could or would go to in a moment like this.

There are four guys and three girls with whom I share the communal kitchen. We get along fine, well enough to talk about problems and remind each other if they need to clean up after themselves. But that's it, we don't interact much more.

Although, I can only speak for two of the three girls as I haven't properly met the third one. I've only got a glance of her when she moved in. She introduced herself as Wanda and told us she studies economics and communication in her third year.

That's all I know about her, so maybe she is actually nice. She's definitely pretty with her brunette hair and lighter eyes. On the day she moved in she wore a black skirt with matching tights and a dark red top. I'm not sure if that's her every day clothing style or if that was just for the move.

The hallway is dark, save for the green glowing signs that point to the next emergency exit. Turning on the lights would feel like disturbing the night. In here, I can barely hear the wind anymore but see lighting through the window in the kitchen.

A thunder follows and I jump, hating the loud sounds. I switch on the light in the kitchen and search through my cabinet for anything that could calm me down. I've got snacks in my dorm room but I am not in the mood for that. I rather want a hot beverage that might help to settle my nerves. A hot chocolate would be my preferred choice but that always takes so long and I don't want to spend that much time in the kitchen, it's not as comfortable as my bed.

So, I opt for tea and fill some water into the kettle. If my roommates can sleep through a thunder storm, they can sleep through the noise of the kettle too. Besides, it's not like I'm the first person to rummage around the kitchen at night. I've heard noises of someone making food at 3 am one night. 

I step up to the window as the water starts to heat and watch the dark clouds. It's a little less frightening when I'm up and about than in my bed. Why? I have no clue. Still, I don't like the weather and hope it'll be over soon. 

"Hey." I jump, feeling my heart lurching into my throat and whirl around. On the swell of the door is Wanda, wearing a dark sleeping shirt with pajama pants with red dots on them. Her hair is messier than the first time I saw her. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," she apologizes and steps into the kitchen. I lean against the wall next to the window and watch when she steps up to the fridge. 

"It's okay," I reply, my heart still racing. I really thought I was the only one still awake but apparently I was wrong. Wanda grabs a carton of milk from her compartment of the fridge and picks a glass from the communal cabinet. 

"You're y/n, right?" She asks and glances at me before pouring herself a glass. 

"Yes, I am. I'm in room 205," I reply. When she greeted us, we were sitting in the kitchen with multiple people, so I don't expect her to remember me. But she nods and gives me a small smile. Another thunder rolls through the kitchen and I startle again, cursing myself for that. Her eyes watch me curiously as she takes the first sip of milk.

"Is the thunderstorm keeping you up?" She eyes me over her glass and I nod, glad we are too far away from each other for her to notice my heating cheeks. The kettle whistles louder until it makes a beep, announcing the water is boiling now. Wanda steps aside and puts her milk away so I can use the counter space. She doesn't leave the kitchen though and instead leans against our table. I pour myself a cup of tea and pour the rest of the water into the sink. Then I turn around to Wanda. She's still watching me but not in a judging way.

"I can never really sleep during thunderstorms either," she says with a shrug. "It's just so loud and then there is a bit of fascination for it. More the lightings than the noise though. I like watching the sky during a storm, it's insane what nature can produce."

I smile a little, picturing her sitting on her desk at the window and watching the sky. She does seem like the kind of person who enjoys that. It's hard to tell what it is about her that gives off that aura but it just does. 

"The view from the kitchen window is terrible though, you just stare at the building across from us. From my window, I can actually see over parts of the campus and have a wide view of the sky."

"From my window, I stare straight at a tree that's too large to give me much of a view." I take the cup of tea into my hands, feeling the warmth spreading. 

"If you want, you can give it a try from my window. Maybe it's a little less scary if you can see what's going on," she suggests. If anyone else suggested this, I probably would have said no, but there's something about her that makes me trust her. She's gentle and sweet and still so very pretty. And since she entered the kitchen, the storm doesn't seem so bad anymore. I'm not alone anymore.

"Yeah, we can try that," I agree and follow her when she pushes off the table. Her room is almost opposite of the kitchen and if she didn't already tell me the storm woke her up, I would have wondered if I woke her up. 

"The scary part of this is just the wind and the way the building seems to creak and bend at it's force," she whispers, opening her door for me to step inside. Her room is pretty much the same as mine. The same bed, same closet, same bookshelf, same desk and same dresser. But it still has such a different vibe than mine. There are posters on the wall of bands that I don't know and a handful of plans decorates every free surface. It's slightly messy with papers and books sprawled around the room and some socks that Wanda kicks to the side. Despite not knowing her very well, it fits her. 

"The wind is really creepy, I am always worried the dorm will just collapse." Wanda snickers at my remark and warmth spreads inside me, but not from the tea. I place the cup atop her dresser where she puts down her glass of water as well.

"See." She points out her window and indeed, I see a lot more of the sky. I step closer and see a lighting bolt zap through the clouds before it gets dark again. Thunder follows and I take a step back, not a fan of the volume. My body stumbles into hers and I am about to apologize when she steadies me with her hands on my waist. Her touch is soft and comforting altogether, a sensation I did not expect at all. Way too soon, she drops her hands again. 

"If you think about it, it's crazy what nature can do. There are so many things about nature that are fascinating. A couple of them are catastrophes too, which makes it hard to explain why I find them so interesting." I can relate to that. 

"I've always found volcano eruptions super interesting but there's so much suffering and there are so many problems with that, that I never really talk about it. But for example, I've always found Pompeji's history really interesting and watched multiple documentaries about it. It's almost ancient now but still, it amazes me, as cruel as that may sound." 

Another lighting-thunder combination strucks and I tense. As cool as the lighting may be, the thunder is not. 

"Pompeji is an interesting story, no doubt," Wanda agrees and moves away from behind me. I want to look after her but in the same moment, another lighting brightens the sky, actually looking very impressive. If it wasn't for the loud noise following, this could be entertaining. A cozy blanket is draped across my shoulders and now I do turn my head to look at Wanda standing beside me, a blanket around her shoulders too. I give her a little smile in thanks that she returns. 

For a while, we just stay standing there, watching the sky. With each thunder, I feel like we are inching closer together until our shoulders touch. I divert my attention once again and find her already looking at me. Without much light, her eyes seem so dark and mysterious, making me want to unravel every mystery there might be about her. 

Our faces are so close together, I can almost feel her breath on my lips when she exhales. Something inside me urges to get closer, to touch her cheek, brush hair out of her face and feel the dip of her chin. But I don't, I just look at her, a little too mesmerized to do anything. An extra loud thunder pulls me out of my stupor, making me jump.

"Holy fuck!" I curse, tugging the blanket tighter around my shoulders. Yeah, definitely not a fan of those. Wanda smiles a little, half amused, half with another emotion I can't pinpoint. "Do you want to stay here until the storm is over? You don't seem like you could sleep during this weather?" 

I return my gaze back to her, considering her offer and trying not to interpret too much into this. "If that's okay with you." I nod shyly and for a moment see a similar shy expression on her face as well. I follow her lead to her bed and sit down next to her, leaning back against the headboard. Our thighs press against each other, the bed not very wide, but she doesn't seem to mind that. I don't either and just try to ignore the little tingles that dance over my skin wherever we touch. 

We end up talking some more and slide further down until we are more lying than sitting. The storm has calmed down a bit, the thunder only on occasion and further away. But Wanda's bed is too comfy and her body against mine too nice to get up again. Sleepiness tugs at my eyelids and I lean by head to the side, fighting my closing eyes. 

Wanda shifts but instead of shaking me to stay awake, she just loops an arm underneath me, allowing me to shift closer and rest my head on her shoulder. Her heartbeat is very faint but there and steady. In her arms, I feel very safe and protected and don't mind the rumbling outside anymore. 

I'm safe and not alone. It's comfortable like this and the next thunder doesn't bother me at all anymore. This is definitely an effective way to stop minding the storm outside. My eyes fall close and the last thing I feel is Wanda's arm hugging me closer to her and her head leaning against mine. Then I fall into a deep sleep, a tiny smile staying on my lips though.

[elizaaudreyy]

The Experiment of Us

Pairing: Reed Richards x female!oc Word Count: 879 Warning(s): Emotional intimacy, suggestive themes, modern AU, FF universe adjacent

Iris found the notebook by accident.

She hadn't meant to snoop - honestly, she hadn't. She'd just been looking for her sketchbook in Reed's study, where she often tossed it between visits. But when she opened the top drawer, expecting the charcoal-smudged pages, she found a leather-bound journal instead. A heavy one. Crisp pages of Reed's handwriting.

She might've put it back.

She should've put it back.

But her name was written at the top of the very first page.

Day 4 Iris laughed at my attempt to make her tea this morning. Not mocking, but amused. Her laughter affects me physically - elevated heart rate, increased dopamine levels. I want to hear it more.

Day 17 Touched the inside of her wrist while passing her a brush. She stilled for exactly 2.2 seconds before smiling. She responds to physical touch, even subtle. Hypothesis: she likes closeness but doesn't initiate it.

Day 32 She cried after sex tonight. Not from sadness. She said "I just feel safe with you." She fell asleep before I could respond properly. Must explore what 'safe' means to her.

Iris sat down hard on the edge of his desk, breath shallow. There were pages of this. Moments between them - intimate, sweet, vulnerable - dissected like chemical compounds. Notes on her sighs. Her sleeping habits. What made her pull away. What made her stay.

Every kiss had a timestamp.

Every time he touched her, he logged her reaction.

Every time she said, "I love you," he made a note of the comment.

It was like he'd turned their relationship into a lab experiment.

And it hurt.

She stormed into the lab an hour later. Reed was hunched over a set of monitors, analyzing some interdimensional flux event, oblivious to the approaching storm.

"You've been tracking me," she said flatly.

He blinked once. "Iris-"

"Don't even try to explain it away. I saw the notebook. You wrote down every time I smiled. Every time I cried. Every time I kissed you, or held your hand, or whispered something private. Is this all a fucking study to you?"

He stood slowly. "Iris, that's not what this is-"

"You're treating me like a test subject, Reed!" Her voice cracked. "You wrote that I cried after we made love like it was some kind of data point."

Hos brow furrowed. "I wasn't studying you to observe you. I was trying to understand."

"Understand what?" she snapped. "How to manipulate me into staying?"

"No." HIs voice was soft, measured - but his hands trembled at his sides. "I was trying to understand how to love you better."

The silence that followed was dense.

Iris's breath hitched.

Reed took a slow step forward, careful, like she might bolt.

"I don't... operate like other people," he said quietly. "Emotions don't always come naturally to me. Empathy, intimacy, timing. I misread things. I overthink. I miss cues. You deserve someone who knows how to makes you feel loved. I want to become that man."

She stared at him.

"I didn't write those things down to control you," he continued. "I logged them because I didn't trust myself to remember them the right way. I needed patterns. I needed clarity. So I could show you that I'm trying, Iris. Every day. To be the man you need."

Her anger faded, confusion bleeding in. "So... this was never about control."

"No." He swallowed. "It was about effort."

She stepped forward, slower now.

"Reed... why didn't you just talk to me?"

"I was afraid I'd say the wrong thing." His voice cracked. "Or miss something important again. And you'd think I didn't care. But I do. I care so much it scares me."

Tears gathered in her eyes. "You though keeping a running log of my love language ws better than asking?"

"You communicate in colors and emotions, Iris. I speak in numbers and logic. I didn't know how to meet you in the middle. So I started measuring it. Until maybe I could figure out the shape of your heart."

She let out a soft, broken laugh. "God, Reed..."

He stepped closer again. "I can burn the notebook. Or let you read every page. Whatever you want. I just don't want to lose you."

She didn't answer at first.

Then, slowly, Iris lifted her hand and pressed it to his chest - right over his heart.

"I don't want you to change who you are," she whispered. "I just want to be loved by you, not analyzed."

Reed cupped her face, eyes heavy with guilt and reverence. "Then I'll stop. No more recording. No more journals. Just us."

"You sure you won't short-circuit without a log to review/'

He smiled faintly. "I'll take the risk."

She leaned into him. “Maybe next time I cry after sex, you just… hold me, okay?”

He nodded, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Okay.”

Later that night, Iris fell asleep wrapped in his arms, her head tucked under his chin. And for the first time in months, Reed didn’t reach for a pen.

He just held her.

And in the quiet dark, he committed the moment to memory—no formulas, no graphs. Just the feel of her breath on his skin and the knowledge that maybe, just maybe, he was finally getting it right.

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

Precious

This is a part two of whoever you want to be so if you haven't read that, I'd suggest you do, though it doesn't really matter because you can technically read this alone too

Word count: 1 500

“What if I'm in the wrong?” He asked, curling more to Remus' side. The morning sun was shining through the gap in the curtains, urging them to get up and start their day after already laying there awake for hours, but neither of them wanted to. It was much nicer to stay curled up with each other underneath the sheets, warm and cosy, neither wanting to break the bubble and get up.

“What about?”

“Y'know…” He whispered, starting to play with a loose strand he'd found from Remus' shirt, twisting it around his fingers as he tried to gather his thoughts. “About the way I feel… y'know, about me? What if I'm in the wrong.” As he continued his voice got quieter, barely above a whisper when he finished, anxiously waiting for Remus to answer.

“What if you're not?” He asked back, running his hand through the curls, placing a gentle kiss on the top of his head. Sirius shrugged, closing his eyes against the sunlight that had slowly shifted to warm up his face. “For what it's worth, I don't think you are.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because, it's you.” He said simply, trying to find the words to properly say what he wanted to. “I'm not sure, and I can't be because it's not something I've experienced. But, I believe you when you tell me it's something you feel, and I just find it difficult to believe it's wrong. How could it be?”

Sirius shrugged, being quiet for a moment before he spoke again, voice quieter than before. “I don't know how to feel.”

“That's okay, love.” He whispered, smiling as Sirius turned to look at him, chin resting on his chest. “You don't have to know. Takes time to figure out, yeah? And, it's okay if you don't figure it out. I'll still be here, always with you.”

“I love you, Rem.”

“I love you too.” He whispered, kissing his forehead before running his hand through Sirius' hair. “We should get up.”

“No.” He groaned, hiding his face into Remus' chest, shaking his head. “M’not getting up. We've got nowhere to be.”

“Mm, but we can't lay in bed all day.”

“M’still sleeping.” he mumbled, clinging on tighter as Remus tried to get up from below him. “No. You're my pillow you can't leave.”

“C’mon up. I'll bring you breakfast in bed if you let me up.” Sirius shook his head.

“Don't you love me?” He asked, a cheeky grin on his face, turning back to look at him. “If you loved me, Rem, like truly loved me, you'd cuddle with me.”

“You’re so stupid.” He laughed, but Sirius just smiled, hiding his face back into Remus’ chest, who wrapped his arms around him better. “Alright, five more minutes, but then I'm getting up. I need coffee.”

…

“What if I feel like nothing?” Sirius asked, biting his lip as he looked at Remus, who was sitting on the other end of the sofa, reading. He looked up from his book, smiling at him softly as he closed it, setting it down onto the coffee table.

“What do you mean?” He asked, reaching for Sirius' hand, shuffling to sit closer to him.

“That- like… What if I feel like nothing? Y'know, boy or-” He looked away for a moment, then back up at Remus as if to study his reaction to his next words. “What if I feel like neither, but like maybe something more eh- neutral.”

“That's okay.” He smiled. “Why wouldn't it be?”

“I dunno.”

“What would that something more neutral be?” He asked as Sirius leaned against his shoulder. “Do you have any preferences to maybe pet names or pronouns or your name? Anything really, and if you don't know, it's okay. But if you do, and you wanna tell me, I want to know.”

“I don't really care what you call me. It all feels good. And um, I don't know. It all feels somehow like me- but like only sometimes. Only on some days” They whispered. “Today's just- more neutral.”

“Okay, baby.” He smiled into their hair. “What if I happened to be talking about you to someone else, What would you want me to call you? My boyfriend, partner, something else maybe?”

“I don't want anyone to know.”

“Okay. I'm proud of you for telling me though, so proud, love.” Sirius smiled, lifting their head to look at Remus, who smiled, brushing a loose strand of hair behind their ear. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.” They whispered, leaning in to give Remus a kiss. “I'm still scared.”

“It's okay to be scared, love.” He said, and Sirius nodded, looking away. “It's new, and different and that's scary, but it's okay. I'm here, baby.”

“ ‘m glad you are.” Sirius whispered, leaning against Remus, who wrapped his arms around them, holding them tightly.

…

“Moony?” They asked, coming into the living room, Remus hummed, looking up at them with a small smile. “Could you, um. Can you paint my nails? I tried, but- I'm shit at this.”

Remus laughed quietly, patting the place next to him on the sofa. “I won't make any promises that I'm any better, but I can certainly try.” He smiled as Sirius sat down next to him, handing him the bottle of nail polish, black with some glitter in it. “Give me your hand, love.”

Sirius did, watching as Remus took their hand into his, holding it so he could more easily paint their nails. They watched as he slowly started to apply the nail polish, being really careful, and trying his best to not mess it up. “Did you get this today?” He asked, glancing up at Sirius as they nodded. “I love the glitter, looks great, baby.”

Sirius blushed slightly, smiling as they looked down to their lap for a moment, then looked back at Remus. “Do you actually like it?” They asked quietly, more nervousness seeping into his tone than before. “It's not- um too much?”

“It’s not, you've worn nail polish before, what's this about?” Sirius shrugged, giving him their other hand when Remus tapped it so they would give it to him, they smiled as Remus started to apply the nail polish onto his other hand. “Do you like it?”

“Do,” Sirius whispered, smiling as he glanced up at them. “I thought it was pretty.”

“You're pretty.” They blushed, looking away for a moment, then watched as Remus closed the bottle of nail polish, leaning to give them a kiss. “The prettiest of them all.” He whispered against Sirius' lips, giving them another kiss. They leaned against Remus after a moment, who just wrapped his arms around him, rubbing his back. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.” Sirius whispered. “Rem?” He hummed, taking their hand into his now that the nail polish had dried. “I saw something in the shops today. I really wanted to buy it, but um-” They trailed off then, sounding nervous as they leaned more against Remus.

“What's so expensive that you can't buy it.” Sirius shook their head with a little laugh, Remus smiled, glad he could at least get a smile out of them, even if it was a small one. “What is it then, hmm? Why didn't you get it?” Sirius mumbled something, but he couldn't catch what it was, but they did blush further, hiding their face into Remus’ neck. “Didn't catch that, darling. Can you speak up?”

“It… it was a skirt.” They whispered quietly, voice suddenly wavering with unshed tears. “I'm sorry.”

“Hey, no. Shh, love don't apologise, it's okay.” Sirius didn't answer, but felt Remus wipe away tears and kiss their head. “For the record, I think you'd look absolutely beautiful in any skirt.”

“They're for girls.” Sirius mumbled, shaking their head as more tears fell down.

“They're not. Sirius, baby, it's just a piece of clothing, anyone can wear them.” They nodded slightly, though they didn't seem entirely convinced yet. “A little bit of fabric won't define who you are, you can wear whatever you want and what makes you comfortable.”

“But other people.”

“Since when have you cared about what other people think? Hmm, love?” They shrugged. “Don’t care about them. You can do whatever you want. You can wear whatever you want, I promise nobody will care.” Sirius nodded. “And if somebody does or says something nasty to you, they're just not worth keeping around, are they?”

“No,” They whispered hesitantly, though smiled slightly as they sat up to look at Remus who smiled, wiping away the tears and leaning to kiss their forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you more, baby.” He smiled, giving them another kiss before Sirius could lean back against him. “Tell me about it.”

“About what?”

“The skirt, silly.”

“Oh- um. Well…” They laughed nervously, blushing as he started to explain what the skirt had looked like. Remus just smiled as he listened to his boyfriend talk about something so excitedly, he hadn't heard that in a while. It just made him happy.

“That sounds so pretty, baby.” Remus whispered into their hair. “I really need to see you in a skirt now, there's no escaping this anymore now that you've told me.”

“You really think it would look good?”

“Of course,” He smiled as Sirius turned to look at him. “You look good in anything you wear.” They smiled brightly, leaning in to give Remus a kiss, leaning their forehead against his. “You're so precious.”

A/N:

Hellooo

This is the very unbirthday themed birthday fic because it's Harry's birthday (also mine lol). Hopefully you liked it, even though it's a bit short and not my best writing but, anyway.

This is literally all I've gotten written in the past month so don't hate on me too much, I tried my best

Anyhow, have a nice rest of your day/night/morning/something idk. Remember to take care of yourself <3 See you around maybe, hopefully :)

<33

[bisluthq]

I'm not feeling well so don't have the mental capacity to write this more gently but since you have the ick with FG ATM I want to pounce lol

The dude scares me. I know I don't know him and I'm only hearing the extremes, the best and worst, etc. but he has money and comes from money but is a control freak about it which makes me think he gets off on the power of it. He ruined friendship over tree branches THAT WILL GROW BACK, the thing with your mum, ok he has no personal investment in these crackhead tenants but unless you need to do proper repairs, new floors, patch holes in the walls etc - why go after them for money they clearly don't have (and your mum didn't have which he knew too).

You say he's got these got left social values but fiscally conservative, but when confronted with a queer kid who is afraid of his father in law and can't afford alternative accommodation (even though th kids name is on the lease who cares right) he's going after a queer kid who seems to misuse 'triggered' but might very well be genuinely afraid and might be being abused in SOME form by this old guy. You found a solution and the queer kids dad is on board but FG wants his pound of flesh as you said.

I understand "it's the principle of it all!" in some situations, but this is actually ridiculous because he's a landlord. He's gonna have shitty tenants. If he had a convenience store, some people would pay for everything every time, some people would steal a bar of chocolate. It's just part of the territory. But as long as the books are balanced, who cares who pays?

In this moment he is choosing to go after a mentally unstable queer kid who says he doesn't feel safe. He might vote a certain way, but he isn't practicing it in real life.

What scares me though is how he could fuck with you. He took you out of his will (or at least told you he was) pretty fucking quick! That was one of his first instincts - YOU GET NOTHING NOW! Which yeah, fair enough when you break up - but THAT QUICKLY?!!? And you didn't even properly "break up" just agreed to breathing room and he's talking to you like he expects reconciliation.

This isn't financial abuse or coercive control but if FEELS very close because of the money situation and distribution - and like you said about your dad paying his wife - but we KNOW how this worked out for you because you did move out and have nothing in the bank. I'm not saying he should pay for everything because he can, but this system you've done has fucked you and not changed anything in his life.

He says he'll support you if you want to go back and study - but if you broke up or fought again, how long before he pulls funding and stops paying? Or asks for the money of the remaining semester back from the uni if it was paid in advance? Would he formally evict you from HIS HOUSE even though you were studying and not working (apart from your joint ventures), leaving you with nothing in the bank, nowhere to go, and having to figure out housing, work and balancing that with study?

He's a control freak who thinks NO ONE HAS A RIGHT TO WRONG ME AND IF THEY DO THEY WILL PAYYYYYYYY!! Which, ok good boundary setting, but he's petty we know AND seems vengeful.

He counted your pills and shit and acted like he was annoyed and resented it, but is it something you asked him to do or needed him to do? This is a complicated thing because I've been the person who has made sure someone took their medication and been the person someone else made sure I was taking my meds. Sometimes people truly need help and support, and when you're mentally unstable you DO need help at times, but you might not need it all the time. And if you're doing well, you're not in an episode, you're getting used to tweaks in meds and figuring it out - you need some trust and respect. Like if you're not presenting as a danger to yourself, and he's not stuck in a trauma response / OCD like thoughts and actions because he's afraid of anything happening to you - you should be allowed to control your meds. And the way you made it sound, you were a people pleaser and didn't want confrontation so went along with it even though it annoyed you.

But you deserve autonomy. And you've shown you can look after yourself because you moved out, DID HAVE AN EPISODE BUT STILL DID THE "RIGHT" STUFF!! You took your meds, saw your drs, didn't drink, didn't fuck randoms - all the things you wanted to do, you DID and you didn't do things you regretted later. That is ALL YOU.

And fuck that guy too because he hasn't even accepted responsibility for his role in it! And he's doing it again not even 4 months later after you were pushed to the edge over this type of behaviour? Ok these are strangers and not your mum, but FUCK HIM! My god I have changed how I acted around certain people and diluted details when I knew it affected them so many times! And I'm anon so I'm not saying this to bring myself up by putting him down lol. But it's what you do!

And you know, I understand being pissed off at people on your behalf because I'm that person tbh. I have hated so many people because of how they treated people I care about, but the thing is you never escalate it on their behalf, even just having a conversation - you can be angry and if the person who was hurt says "whatever please calm down" YOU CALM DOWN. Even if you don't feel it, you let it go because that comes with respecting people's autonomy and just not making the situation more difficult. Now, of a crime is committed against someone and they want to let it go and you're bandaging their arm - then you go 'sorry, I'm taking you to the hospital and cops and you can drop charges later if you still feel like it but you're making a report' because that's when someone isn't in the right frame of mind. Then, I think it's ok to take over and escalate it.

But is it just his pride was hurt? Is he the type who would've said 'do you know who my father is?' when he got an A instead of an A+ - because shit is working out but he wants more and he's using his power to get MORE than he originally asked for/ wanted.

But I'm scared at how he's ruined your relationships, you changed how you dress to fit his world, you've put up with shit because you don't want to deal with him when he's angry, he seems to have final say in financial decisions... It's a grey zone now and it might always stay as it is, but it's how people get caught in abusive relationships because little by little their sense of self, their power, their ability to trust their thoughts and judgement, it all gets chipped away. And that has happened to you whether it was intentional or not. And I get the vibe it wasn't intentional and he's just a control freak, but it's still not good for you.

Obviously there's been a lot of good too and that's why it lasted.

But with your issues with him - do you really think he will change? Has he tried to change at all in this time or shown any growth? Is he just thinking "she'll come around eventually" because you always let him win because you didn't want the confrontation?

I could've made many mistakes in my recount of your relationship, apologies if true. But when you talked about dealing with his pettiness for another 50 years, how much of it can be aimed at you? Or how much will it hurt you, your relationships, career prospects, your financial independence so if ever you split, you wouldn't be completely starting over without legal documents to split assets...

Who cares if you waste another year being sort of together or sort of broken up, it's a year, truly. But when you think about going back, please just consider some of this maybe? And some people do change, but you have to really enforce a hard boundary and with the tenants be like "ok I will no longer be dealing with this as I gave you an amicable and simple solution, you don't want it, so you handle it. I will not be involved in emails, calls, meetings and you can't talk about it with me unless you say it's sorted and finalised. I will let the tenants know I will be blocking their email and number and they can deal with you. You can tell them to deal with your lawyer if you wish" and every time he does petty shit - like idk this man, but if he complains about his steak being cooked wrong and makes a fuss and wants to leave but your steak is fine - stay and eat your perfectly fine steak. Don't bend to his pettiness. You don't need to apologise on his behalf, but you don't need to be a silent enabler and then fight about it later

Don't let him steal the colour in your face ❤️‍🩹♥️♥️♥️

I think 'scared' is a bit dramatic and some of this stuff - I get why you're saying it lol I do - doesn't really apply to FG. Things like complaining about marks and stuff like no that's very not him. That's more likely to be me. One of the things I actually really admire about him is he's got a very 'client is always right' attitude for work that I need to learn from sometimes because *I* am often like "fuck this, I don't want to do this anymore, this person is stupid" for work stuff and he's always like "they paid you, now do what you're supposed to do" tbh. Like I've wanted to and *have* left jobs/clients because they irritated me - my attitude is almost the opposite where like I can always find the money somewhere else (this is a bad attitude to have because it's possibly a lot of why a lot of my problems exist) and I don't want to do annoying things. also why if a place annoys me, I leave/move. that's very spoilt brat of me actually but my thing is always like 'I hate it here' and so I go.

And to be fair a not insignificant amount of time my plan for what happens next after I lose my shit is to go to my dad's or to have my dad bail me out lol. Like the only reason I'm not currently in my room at my dad's licking my wounds there is the war. Otherwise like this shit would've gone down and I would've cried and my dad would've come physically to pick me up lol and yelled at my mom (typical) and FG (hasn't yet because of the war but would've) and we'd have gone back with him. so I mean. y'all must not underestimate what a fucking daddy's girl I am. He would never intervene in workplace shit but I *have* been like "dad I don't want to do this anymore will you spot me for a month" and he's done it before. We must also acknowledge like how spoilt *I* am. I don't think that's necessarily bad because theoretically it should raise my standards in men but it doesn't seem to because I'm always like "but my daddy will fix it" lol.

fg's also far less likely to be the one to complain like in a restaurant or whatever. the garden service thing was different but fwiw I think that was worse because it sort of *was* a friend. I feel like if it had been a random labourer, he'd have paid.

in that way, and some of it is I think actually a bit classist but it's a good quality, he's very generous. Like I always paid our cleaner her rate but he always matched ie doubled whatever I was giving her as a holiday bonus for instance and the gardener labourer guy he pays very handsomely and again does these big bonuses for and stuff. he's not a stingy asshole about everything ever.

wrt me he's also very fucking generous with some shit tbf. he's bought me fuck off expensive things and he did pay majority for BIG ASS trips and on holiday, I liked that he wasn't resentful about doing stuff on my budget once we were there. When I was like "we can take the bus, we don't need a Bolt" he was always like "yup" and he does like... appreciate all the things I do and pay for and stuff.

HOWEVER. the main problem is it's unsustainable and a lot of that is tbh the age gap. same as the clothes adaptation - it's not so much that like he asks for these things, he doesn't tell me I can't wear miniskirts, he would probably like it and think it's sexy, but it's just weird to when I'm out with him and like... if I were his age or 2 years younger then it'd all be a lot more fair because I'd have structured my life differently by then. He'd still be a dick for the petty asshole things but overall, there'd be fewer issues. This is where I've said, what he "needs" is a recent or semi recent empty nester with her own shit and her own like life tbh that they can match each other on (even if she has less money than him). He isn't at a point in his life where he's "building" his life, ykwim, and I *am*? I think that's the big difference. I need to still do a lot of stuff he's already done and ticked off.

My dad and his wife are the exact same age. When they met, they were both divorced/divorcing parents in their mid 20s. He had a better job than her but she also had a very good job in the same industry (that's how they met). He had that house he still co-owns with my mom and he had his own place and she had her own place that afaik she still owns (he's sold that studio he bought during the divorce and bought the place he lives in now). When she got pregnant and they decided she'd quit her job, they also did decide he'd pay her a 'salary' essentially which is very fair because... she quit her job to do that... and they do have that very classic his money is their money and her money is her money thing (well aside from stuff that has fuck all to do with her like the house he co-owns with my mother lol or like inheritances he's received or whatever). they built that together for the most part though. they did come into the relationship relatively evenly matched and their setup has basically ensured she's not left behind and if she wanted to leave she could which is very important for both because my dad doesn't consider himself a feminist but he def is lol.

FG and I can't have that vibe because of the age gap. He built his life up while I was like... a child lol? He bought his first sports car when I was like... ten... lol. Also got married when I was like twelve. I mean obviously we didn't know each other then and so it's not weird in that way and all but like... it's relevant because as I say, he can't be expected to travel back in time and spend the next 30 years 'building' stuff in the same way that I still have to. His next 30 years are basically just enjoying the previous 30's work.

So yes that's the issue for longterm vibes and why it can't really be fair and I think the trouble is he doesn't want a sugar baby setup - and I wouldn't want to be in one - but it's not evenly matched and NOT just about money, because maybe I'm 45 and still perpetually skint lol but then that's sorta my lifestyle at that point and.... fwiw I don't think he'd date a perpetually skint 45 year old. He likes the fact that I'm ambitious and do work and do my own stuff and have shit going on and I like all that about me too, but it doesn't match up well together because of where we're at in our respective lives.

The joke is also if we *were* the same age I don't know if it'd work either because we're individually too selfish tbh. I don't know that I want to build something "with" someone lol. I have no interest in like babysitting another adult, I have enough trouble babysitting myself. One of the things I like about him is he's like on his own little mission lol. And I know when he was my age, he wasn't sure what he wanted (more so than now or me) and was very focused on like earning and spending lmfao extravagantly. he saved better than I'm currently doing ig but he also like... look, he and I are very similar. He's told me when he was 30 at one point he decided to take a 3 month road trip sabbatical because that was when he bought the Porsche and wound up having to get a friend (the girl who visits annually actually) to move his crap out his apartment because he was no longer able to make rent lmfao and decided he'd rather sorta stay in motels and shit and leave his crap at hers for a while. Theoretically that'd be very fun for the both of us but I *am* more mature than that and wouldn't do that. I like my stuff and my like idk stability a bit.

ALL THAT SAID lmfaooo these big issues are why we've gone for therapy and we talk a lot and like I think we could figure that stuff out over time. I think the separate living is helping, I think running the businesses as businesses rather than as side quests I do during the day is GOOD. It's constructive. We could figure the money and life stages things out.

What I think is the problem is... we've got deeply misaligned value systems as a result of our upbringings, as my mom said.

And it seems not to be the case, because we do have a LOT in common even wrt our families, but fundamentally it's shit like... I wouldn't go to court with someone just for a matter of principle and he evidently would. He's petty and small-minded and annoying about some stuff and idk that that's worth it.

Also not because I think I can do 'better' but I'm back to like... guys I love being on my own. I love coming home to silence, I do want the cats, I love not telling anyone what I'm doing, just fucking doing my little thing.

I really like the song 'cowboy like me' and it really fits him and I but I think part of the thing is cowboys fundamentally can't be together all the time lmao. It's like Quick and the Dead yk at the end she rides off because that's... what cowboys do. And I think he and I might just both be cowboys.

And I think I was open to us just being friends/casual fuck buddies maybe even but he's SO ANNOYING to me yesterday and today that fuck him I'm a cowboy like ME and idk what the point of him is in relation to me. Best of luck to him sorting his crazy shit out lmao.

[hyuneluvbot]

skz when y/n kisses them in an argument

pairing: stray kids x reader

genre: fluff

warnings: descriptions and mentions of kissing, if that makes you uncomfortable please do not proceed to read.

word count: 2387

author's note: hello my darlings <3 thank you so so so much for being so patient with me yet again, i know i have absolutely no posting schedule :/

-i have intended for the "arguments" here to be just misunderstandings or bad days, because idealistically this isn't how i believe you should be solving serious issues.

-i wrote this over the span of three days during study breaks, i'm still v v caught up in exam prep so please excuse my errors if i've made any :D

-as always, i hope you enjoy reading! take good care of yourself y/n, i'm cheering for you!

chan

-look, he's not usually the type of guy who'd let something as ❛stupid❜ [i hope u read that in his voice] as an argument let him get carried away enough to say some dumb shit he probably doesn't mean.

-but it was a really bad day and his head's in too many places, too many things clouding his head and he cannot focus, so he ends up saying something he regrets, but when he regains focus and pays attention to what he said, you're already walking away from him.

-its not that you don't want to get this argument over with, its just that right now is not the time, you can clearly see he has too much going on and he needs to think properly before he talks to you.

-he's following you though, trying to tell you he didn't mean what he said and "oh wow i should really start paying more attention to what i say" and "oh god this was so dumb of me" and now he's overthinking.

-you don't really see any other way to get him to stop talking for a second, so you cup his face and plant a big fat kiss on his lips.

-he's shocked, eyes wide, but he soon relaxes, and right before you know it he's holding onto you so tight, refusing to let you go.

-"i really hope you know i didn't mean that, really had no clue what i was saying" still a little upset, gives you a sad smile :( [chris and a sad little smile is giving me major heartache i will never type this sentence out again]

-"everyone has bad days, i know to not take it to heart, don't beat yourself up,"

-no more work for him tonight, spends the rest of the day with you doing whatever you want to do, giving you lots and lots of kisses throughout, making sure to prove just how sorry he is for all his harsh words

-chrispy my precious he has every little bit of my whole heart i will say this again & again.

-atp this blog is just me tryna find excuses to mention how much i love chan and everything he does, down bad fr.

minho

-it was a stupid argument, really.

-but it was definitely starting to get heated.

-minho is such an amazing person, but his tendency to get possessive really gets to you sometimes.

-you love him; so much, and when he complains to you about how "you're being affectionate with so & so" it only gets to you because you feel like you haven't done a good enough job with showing him just how much you love him.

-its probably not the best idea to shut him up with so much so a kiss, especially when he's "getting his point across because no you are not listening to him y/n", but you shall do exactly that.

-you're on the kitchen counter and he's standing in front of you, so tug him down to you by the end of his shirt and kiss him.

-it takes a second to register, but the moment he starts to feel himself lose control and kiss you back; he's pulling away and staring down at you trying to catch his breath.

-"you should not cut people off when they're talking, where are your manners y/n?"

-& before you could process his words he's capturing your mouth with his again, kissing you longer and harder this time, biting down on your lip as his anger vanishes. [a man who always wants the last word]

-a good 20 minutes later does he finally pull away, letting you reassure him by telling him you love him, and only him.

changbin

-he's a sucker for your lips.

-even if you give him a peck while he's sleeping, it is enough to wake him up and make him ask for a proper kiss.

-so you get the memo, he's probably going to give you a good reaction.

-this wasn't even an argument, it was just a shitty day for the both of you and trying to talk to the other person to confide in them all the while their emotions are still lingering; only resulted in both your emotions letting out in a wrong way.

-you're both prideful, but not enough to let it cloud your judgement so you're soon to realise this was wrong, and frankly not going anywhere.

-he's starting to talk again, to apologise this time, but you don't get to hear the rest of it when you cup his face and smash your lips against his.

-let's out a shocked little "oh" against your mouth but nonetheless melts into your embrace.

-very touchy and grabby now, hands all over any body part in his reach, your shoulders, arms, waist, thighs, and you can feel his satisfaction with how this turned out with the way his kisses start to intensify.

-you have to really pull away and place a hand between you to stop him from kissing you again, offering to heat up some dinner so you guys can eat properly without screaming at each other this time [how dare y/n deny him a kiss]

-"only if you give me one more kiss here" points to his nose :(

-"and here" forehead this time

-"okay okay last one, on my lips again" makes kissing sounds

hyunjin

-now *stretches and cracks knuckles*

-unlike chan, someone does have an attitude.

-the argument couldn't have been dumber, but homeboy is petty and will roll his eyes so hard every time you tell him he's wrong he's probably seeing his brain back there.

[so dramatic, we love to see]

-you're both just really throwing petty remarks at each other at this point, but you're the first to realise this is going nowhere and you need to apologise in a mature way.

-he's standing in front of you, pacing back and forth and making these extravagant hand gestures to accompany his elaborate speech on how wrong your attitude is right now.

-so you intertwine one hand with this and wrap the other around his waist to pull him to you.

-when you kiss him he gasps so loud and tries to pull away in shock, but you tighten your grip on him and slowly put your hand inside his shirt, rubbing little circles on his back to encourage him to calm down.

-is a little hesitant to kiss you back but you can easily feel his attitude start to lose away the longer he kisses you, his mouth against yours soft and delicate now, contrary to all his actions before.

-once you're sure he's calm you slowly pull away, reaching upto push his hair behind his ears. you bring your hands upto his face and ease the wrinkles formed from the tension resting there.

-"let's talk properly, yeah?"

-"one more kiss and we'll do just that,"

jisung

-he says the first thing that pops in his head and he might unintentionally get really mean sometimes, but you already know he has no filter when he's annoyed, so you make sure to not take his words to heart.

-you're just trying to end the conversation, very well aware this is becoming pointless, but its really starting to tick you off how he's huffing and puffing, mumbling under his breath, doing everything but listening to what you have to say.

-you decide you've had enough of his attitude and this argument, so you lean down to his face and give him a kiss.

-did i mention he is an absolute sucker for kisses? anytime, anywhere, pretty boy just wants a kiss :(

-takes a solid minute to process the moment so he doesn't really respond to the kiss; but hey he's finally not talking, so you back off and leave the room.

-afterwards he's all red ears; pink cheeks; big round eyes & hands by his sides, doesn't know what to do at all.

-mindlessly follows behind you and turns you to face him, argument long forgotten by now.

-"o-one more kiss, please? i mean only if you want ahahha you don't have to, i'm sorry i was being mean i don't want you to be mad at me i love you darling :("

-very hesitant because he knows he was being a little meanie back then, but knows its best to apologise right now than to delay it and possibly piss you off and spew another argument.

-"you silly boy, come here,"

-will not let you go the moment you do kiss him; you can breathe sometime later you're supposed to be kissing him rn

felix

-he is very very calm in an argument; i cannot peg him for the sort who would raise his voice or talk over you, so really, an argument with him is just like having a conversation.

-but of course, everyone has bad days. on bad days, it's not all sunshine and rainbows, sometimes he tends to lose his cool too.

-you're sitting across from one another on the dinner table, and this conversation is absolutely going nowhere because he's not letting you speak and is only jumping to his own conclusions.

-you reach out for his hand that's sitting on top of the table and tug him closer to you, meeting his lips halfway.

-no matter how pissed he is, there's no way he's denying a kiss.

"kisses make everything better" in his own words :(

-besides, this is just an argument. a stupid little argument, no way its going to hamper your relationship.

-he has faith in you guys, he knows this is going to be over before you know it; so really, a kiss sounds very nice right now.

-he's definitely smiling against your lips as you're kissing,,

-he slowly starts rubbing small circles on the back of your hand with his thumb as he starts to forget about the argument more and more.

-"i needed that, i was starting to lose control of my thoughts right there," he is the bestest boy to ever exist i will scream it to the world lix. best. boy. nobody's got anything on my precious :(((

-"do you wanna go on a date? i still feel bad for being mean to you," still a little shy and refuses to look you in the eye properly until he knows for sure you've forgiven him.

-one more kiss for lix so he knows the only emotion you feel is adoration for him :(

seungmin

-he's really always such a sweetheart, but the moment he's pissed, a switch flips; he is not ready to let go of the situation or how he feels about it until he's ready.

-he's sitting on your guys' bed, still grumpy over the argument, and you're trying to make him atleast acknowledge what you're saying because his blank expression is really giving away nothing.

-you jump to your very last resort and straddle him, grabbing his face and kissing him, pecking his lips over and over. you then move over to the rest of his face, placing gentle pecks in hopes for him to atleast crack a smile.

-instead of smiling like you'd hoped, he scolds you even more for kissing him out of nowhere.

-"you weren't even looking my way and i didn't know if you were listening to what i was saying,"

-"so you'll kiss me? you really are something y/n,"

-he felt like it was obvious he wasn't pissed anymore, but to you his 'scolding' made it seem like you pissed him off even more so you just back away to your side of the bed and sit facing away from him, leaving him dumbfounded.

-takes him a few minutes to understand why you did that, but he proceeds to apologise for his actions properly.

-gives you a huge hug and explains to you [in a very very hushed voice] how he only responded like that because he was caught off guard and flustered, not because he was mad at you.

-"wouldn't want you to know i was shy and my ears were red, right?"

-kisses you once again, longer this time to prove he's anything but pissed at you.

-lots of cuddles by the end of the night, might even sing you to sleep :((((

jeongin

-arguments rarely ever happen, he's a very calm and understanding person, always willing to listen to whatever you have to say.

-he just came back home in a shitty mood today and it was very prominent, so you made an attempt to try to ask him what was wrong, and if there was anything you could do to help.

-his head was too clouded and he wasn't thinking straight, so he didn't even realise when he snapped at you, and just when he kept going.

-ended up pouring out all his frustration on you, and the moment he realised what he was doing, he started apologising.

-he thinks he's hurt you and the thought of you being hurt, because of him? waves of guilt washing over him as we're speaking :(

-one second he's profusely apologising, taking back all his harsh words and the next second he's not.

-all his apologies fall against your lips as they reach to meet his, your hands circling around his neck.

-he's stopped talking, but he's in shock and not responding to the kiss. it makes you think he's still feeling guilty and maybe this wasn't the best idea so you slowly try to pull away from him, arms still resting on his shoulders though.

-before he himself processes it he's brainlessly pulling you back to him and kissing you.

-you start to toy with his hair as you ease him into the kiss, knowing he's still hesitant.

-you only pull away once his arms are holding onto your waist and his kisses have a rhythm rather than being sloppy and all over the place, and you offer to run him a bath so he can properly unwind.

-"can we talk too? i want to tell you about my day," :(

[spiriteddreams]

cliche

Pairing: Miya Atsumu x Reader Warnings: none! Word Count: ~1k A/N: it do be a stressful midterm season but i aced my first one this week!

he's a lot more composed than this, he swears. because right now he's not the best with words. he stumbles over them, trips and falls and curses follow right after. and then he's apologizing in an instant (for messing up his words and then cursing). he's usually composed, an easy grin on his face when he talks to his friends. he's not usually like this, so flustered with a blush evident on his cheeks.

miya atsumu is not usually a mess. but right now he can't help himself. you're silent, but there's this smile on your face that makes his heart flutter. and then you laugh, a small sound spilling from your lips when he apologizes again and atsumu stops speaking, his mouth still slightly open. he forgot what he was going to say.

"'tsumu, it's just me."

yeah. it's you.

you. the childhood best friend who's watched him grow up. you were there every week, helping him and granny clean the house and then listen to all the stories she had in store.

you. who was always at his side during school, never overstepping a boundary, always well aware of the situation and taking the time to think before acting.

you. the one atsumu swore that osamu had a crush on because he was spending so much time with, only to find out that you two were best friends because of your love of cooking. osamu never lets him try the food but at least you do.

you. the one atsumu's been in love with for as long as he can remember. he doesn't know exactly when he started smiling more around you, when his chest felt lighter when you were around, when just the sight of you was enough to brighten his day. but kita knows that he loves you. he knows that sometimes he stares a bit too long. he knows that he's always there whenever you need him, whether it's a text away, or quite literally at your side when your feet miss the curb as you try to walk quickly in a straight line.

yeah, you.

he clears his throat, an attempt to begin again but he doesn't know what to say. everything's going downhill and he feels as if suna's just around the corner, with his camera pointed at the setter while he fails to speak properly. you laugh gently and reach forward to brush some of the hair that's fallen into his face, your fingertips barely brushing against his forehead.

"you're cute, you know that?" your words catch him off guard and his mouth is slightly open. he doesn't know what to say. aran would be laughing if he saw him like this and kita tries to push down that image.

"i-- do you want to go out with me?" atsumu lets it all out, "on a date. but it doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be, it's up to you, i don't want to pressure you or anything." he's rambling he knows. he's lost his composure and his grace and is letting it spill out, emotions bare for you to see. his heart sits in your hearts, pounding and scared. he thinks he's going to throw up.

"i'd love to." atsumu blanks at your words. "it's a date." you're grinning at him, and it's only when he hears your friend call out your name that he's snapped from his daze.

"i'll see you soon! text me!" and then you're turning to walk towards your friend. you toss him a look over your shoulder and grin, offering him a wave. it's so cliche, an action you would only see in a romance story but atsumu loves it.

reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! <3 A/N: smth short and sweet for you all! and now it's back to studying for me :(

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Hi!!! I just saw your matchup event and i couldn’t resist the urge to participate >-<. I’m glad that I saw it, because I just scrolled past your masterlist and I saw some juicy content which i’m DEFINITELY gonna read later!!!

I wanna congratulate you for your 300 followers, i’m sure you really deserve them!! <33

Of course ignore this if it’s uncomfortable for you, no pressure!!

Okay so the fandom i’m gonna request from is Haikyuu!

I’m a scorpio, ISFP, 7w6, I really like photography and i’m studying cinema atm. My hobby is writing poems since i consider it the only way I can properly express my emotions; I also like to read, especially manga, and listen to music. I love to experiment hair colours hehe

I’m a stubborn person, with precise goals in life. I love creating new relationships but, the moment the other person shows me that they don’t really care about me, I’m gonna leave without looking back.

Im very loyal in friendships or relationships, and I love to listen to people. I’m very independent and I prefer to stay alone most of the times

I hope I described myself enough because I don’t really know what to say 🫠

Thank you in advance for your time and take care 🥺🥺🫶🏻🫶🏻

Fandom: Haikyuu

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: Spoiler from the manga (Akaashi's job)

Word Count: 0.6K

A/n: This one was tough lmao. Thank you so much honey! I'm glad that you enjoyed my work! feel free to send requests if you have anything on your mind :>💕

I match you with...

Keiji Akaashi!

I was actually doubtful about Choosing between Oikawa and Akaashi, but in the end I went with Akaashi cause you know... He's Akaashi :>

Akaashi is a super thoughtful and understanding person. He's kind, also indepentednt and charming as hell. He will never cross your boundaries and always gives you the space and time you need to yourself; though he will not hesitate to interfere when you have a serious problem and will do his best to make you feel better.

You do not have to worry about his feeling toward you. As I said before, he is a thoughtful guy, and he will definitely think it through before stepping in a relationship. If he's in a relationship with you, you have to know that he definitely loves you; or else he wouldn't be here.

He listens to other people (Bokuto) just like you and will do his best to make them feel better (we've witnessed that in the anime) so you have something to talk about when you open up to each other lol; because sometimes listening to people just takes so much energy, you know?...

Akaashi is also a supportive boyfriend. He shows interest in the major your studying (no matter what it is) and will gather information about it so he can have a better understanding of what you're interested into. He will be your model if you ask him to (ask him, this hot guy is definitely a good catch), I'm not sure if he will be willing to let you color his hair, but I'm sure you can both compromise on it or maybe even make a bargain...? <3

You like reading manga? Well lucky for you, your s/o is a manga editor! You can read all the manga's he edits before gettng published officially, so that's definitely a benefit to you🚶🏻‍♀️

Akaashi loves to be in a relationship with an independent person. He admires your independence. He's been taking care of people for quite a while, and he prefers to be with someone who's mature and is able to take care of himself.

He is a pro at reading your mood, and as the thoughtful boyfriend he is, he will give you the space you need. He might not even ask you about your problem directly, but he will ask you how you're feeling and if you need help with anything. So don't think that he doesn't care about you; he just doesn't want to bother you and trusts you because he knows you're able to do thing on your own.

This guy might look cold, but he has a big golden heart, and you don't have to look closely to notice it :)

In a relationship, he's actually warm caring person. Not the energetic type of boyfriend, but the smooth type of guy. He makes you feel relaxed and comfortable, you feel like you can open up to him about anything since he's not judgmental and Honestly it's hard not to fall in love with a guy who's always sweet and polite :>. So if you're looking for something comfy, peaceful and calm, he's definitely the guy for you.

Tries his best to keep a balance between his work and you. Even when he's been working for 5 hours, he will still take you to the restaurant he promised you only to see your beautiful smile.

Please don't let him overwork himself tho ಥ_ಥ

I think I should have matched you with Kuroo, but I don't know... 🚶🏻‍♀️

Thanks for participating in my event! :)

[mintelepathy]

"From now on, you won't be alone anymore"

idol!jungkook x reader/oc

word count: +2.0k

genre: fluff¿

warnings: swear words¿

summary: jungkook can't stop thinking about the girl he met at a convenience store in the middle of the night and he can't help but return to see her again.

mlist

Jungkook can't sleep today, he's been sitting on the floor of his living room for almost three hours now, a piece of paper placed on his coffee table and a pen in his right hand.

Writing lyrics was easy when he felt inspired, but today it wasn't the case, he really wanted to make some progress with his mixtape but it seems that it wasn't the right time now.

He gave up. He knew that his attempts to write some lyrics were in vain for the moment, he needed to do something else, maybe something that could inspire him.

He often goes for a walk at night around his neighborhood, the later it is the better for him, it's the only time of the day where he doesn't feel like being spied, he understands what fame brings but sometimes people really step out of the line, and he wasn't happy with that, let's not misunderstand, he loves when fans approached him respectfully and talked to him, he just doesn't like when people follow him around with bad intentions.

He didn't even waste his time changing his clothes, he grabbed a coat because it was chilly outside and headed to the streets.

The night was quite peaceful, mostly because it was 3 in the morning, but it was a different kind of peace, and he enjoyed it. Trees filled the area where he lived creating a gentle wind, feeling the night breeze was something he loved, he stopped walking for a moment and took a big breath with his eyes closed. The air felt clean compared to other days.

When he opened his eyes the first thing he spotted was a convenience store crossing the street. He usually doesn't have any late snack, even more now that he is on a diet, but today he'll make an exception.

He made his way to the store with no rush and opened the door, it was his first time there, it wasn't like he didn't visit convenience stores often but that he had never seen that place before the times he went for a walk.

He greeted the girl who was working there and headed straight to the shelves looking for kombucha tea and ramen, he had the intention of eating the ramen there since those kind of stores had microwaves, so people were able to prepare their instant food and eat it right away.

But there was a problem, the kombucha tea was nowhere to be found.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the counter, you found yourself watching the boy who just entered the store looking around the shelves for something unsuccessfully, you decided to make your way towards him to see if he needed any help.

"Excuse me, do you need help with anything?" The boy was wearing a big black bucket hat and a black face mask so it was quite difficult to see how his face looked.

"Uhm yeah, do you sell kombucha tea?" It was crazy how kombucha tea was being sold lately.

"Yes we do, but it's sold out at the moment, I heard somewhere that a singer recommend it and people got really interested and bought it until stores ran out of it" a giggle escaped his lips.

"I think I know who you are talking about" he took off his bucket hat to fix his hair, and put it back quickly. You could see his eyes for a split second and you felt like you have seen those eyes before, they were so big and pretty, like bambi eyes.

"Oh really, who is this famous singer then?" You knew you have read or heard about this guy but you couldn't remember his name.

"Jungkook" there it was when you realized.

"You are Jungkook" he just nodded. "I knew you seemed familiar" you confessed. "Anyway, is there anything else I can help you with?" You asked politely.

"Can I use the microwave?" He was the first person who asked you if they could use the microwave, people often just used it without asking.

"Yeah, of course" you made your way to the counter again and sat in your chair.

You couldn't help but watched him as he prepared the ramen, working there, and at night, was boring as hell so you never missed the opportunity to talk to customers when you had the chance, but you weren't quite sure if you should go and try to have a conversation with him. You didn't want him to think that you were approaching him just because he was famous.

Seeing him preparing ramen made you feel hungry, you also wanted to eat some so you didn't think twice and went to grab a cup of ramen.

He was sited just right besides the microwave so it was impossible to ignore his presence. You saw that he forgot to grab chopsticks so you picked two pairs from a shelve.

"Here" you said as you handed him the chopsticks.

"Thank you" he gently grabbed them, he had taken his bucket hat off so you were able to see him more properly now. "I see you are hungry" he said and you smiled.

"Yeah, I've been staring all night at those cups of ramen and I couldn't hold myself when I saw you preparing it" you said calmly trying to make him feel comfortable around you.

"Should we eat together then?" His question took you by surprise, he was being so sweet considering you were a completely stranger to him.

"I don't think I'm allowed to do this, but yes" you sat on the only chair left, which was besides him, and waited until your ramen was done.

"Would you get in trouble for eating with me?" He sounded concerned.

"Just if my boss finds out, but he is never around and almost no one buys things at this hour, so I don't think he'll know" fuck your boss, you didn't really like him, he was really rude to everyone.

"Well, in case your boss finds out, I can come and tell him that it was all my fault" it was the second time he made you smile.

You were ready to get up when you heard the microwave was done getting the ramen cooked, but Jungkook got up faster and brought it for you.

"Thank you" you said as he sat again, you both opened the chopsticks and started eating, even though he could start eating his ramen sooner he waited until yours was ready.

He obviously wasn't wearing his face mask anymore so you could see his features clearly. He was stunning. "What brought you here so late?" You asked him to start a conversation.

"I was trying to write some lyrics on my apartment but it didn't turn out how I wanted, I also couldn't sleep so I decided to take some fresh air, then when I was walking I saw this store and well, now I'm here" he took another bite of ramen. "Do you work here all night?" He asked you.

"Yeah, until 6am, it's kinda scary going back home alone after work because I have to walk and it's still dark outside when I leave, but anyways i'm here just during the weekend tought, I'm studying at collage so actually this is a part time job for me, I don't spend too much time in here" you could noticed he was really paying attention to you, he stopped eating everytime you talked.

"Can I know what are you studying?" You didn't know if he was really interested or if he was just being nice, but you were so happy now that you could spend some time talking with someone.

"I want to major in audio visuals, my parents weren't happy when I told them what I was going to study, they wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I didn't listen to them, is that a bad thing?" You asked him, you barely knew him and you were already asking him for advice, considering you didn't have close friends maybe you really needed a therapist to talk this things after all.

"I think you did the right thing, it's your life, you should do things that makes you happy" he made emphasis in the you part. "And you will learn from the decisions you make, not from other's" wise words.

"What about you? Are you happy with the life you have right now?" Both of you had already finished eating, so you were ready to listen to him closely.

"I am, I'm not happy everyday but I'm happy with my life so I can't complain, I just sometimes wish I could do things that are normal for most of the people" you completely understood his point, and you felt sad for him, everyone deserved that kind of freedom and you can see he couldn't have it.

"You know, when I saw you preparing the ramen I really wanted to talk to you because that's what I do with most of the people who comes here, but I was afraid you might think I only approached you because you were famous or something like that. So I just want you to know that even though I know your name or your face, it doesn't mean I know who you are, and for me you are just like everyone else, I won't treat you any different just because you are famous, I won't go and tell everyone that you were here or anything like that, I also know I can't take you to do all the things you'd like to do, but one thing I can offer you is an honest friendship, I bet Jungkook from bts is great, but if I'm honest I don't really care about him, I care about the real you and I'd love to get to know you more, I met you just a moment ago but I can see you are a really good person" everything you said was the truth, and he had to know that there was someone out there who cared about him. That's how you were, you cared about others.

"It's the first time someone tells me something like that, I really appreciate it" you would love to say that his words surprise you but they don't, and that's sad.

"I think I should go back to work right now" he nodded. "Oh and you don't have to pay, I invite" and with that you went back to the counter.

He stayed on the chair for a few more seconds doing something but you didn't know what because you could only see his back from there.

He got up later and made his way to the door. "Thank you for make me some company, see you soon" you didn't have time to say goodbye to him because he had already left. Have you done something wrong? You asked yourself.

Time passed and it was time to go back home, your coworker came in time so by 6am you were already out of the store, you didn't start walking though, you couldn't believe who was in front of you.

"Jungkook? What are you doing here?" Was he waiting for you?

"You said it was scary going back home alone, so from now on, you won't be alone anymore" it seems that you actually didn't do anything wrong after all. "I left a note on the table we shared" oh shit, you didn't see it.

"I didn't see it, sorry" you were about to go and look for it but he stopped you.

"It's okay, don't worry. It just said that I'd love to have you as a friend, and since you invite the ramen I hope you can accept my invitation to drink something some day" he seemed shy now, maybe that's why he didn't tell you this in person.

"Yeah, we can definitely go to drink something together, and as friends now" you smiled at him as he bite his lip cutely.

"Should I take you home now? You must be tired"

Yes you definitely were.

"Let's go" you said as you both started to walk next and close to each other.

There was no way you would forget this night.

♡

I hope you enjoyed reading this one

A like or reblog is always appreciated :)

[riewritten]

Could give tips for someone who is writing her first fanfics?

i've got 3 major things to consider and i tried making it easier to do because i have the tendency to get stuck on planning too much that i don't get to the content itself.

brief and straight to the point plot: the primary consideration ofc is how would you like the story to go. it doesn't need to be v long. even three sentences would do. i suggest cutting this one into 3 parts: setting, conflict, resolution. usually these 3 would do the talking and you just need to worry about executing the premise properly.

characterization: basic info and introspection! i think this one is very important if it's a multi-chaptered story. it's to avoid the tendency to (1) make the characters off and (2) the story line inconsistent. also, having this can have your characters do the act instead of you dictating them — you can refer to fandom wiki!

ex. if x happened how would y react? i want y to act on this by ___ but according to her charac sketch she would most likely behave like ___ instead

chapters study: this one's optional but it makes everything easier. i often get uninterested working on some parts and would very much prefer writing a scene from the future instead. so when i finally get to that future chapter, it's easier to finish because i alr have an established outline and/or drabbles. maybe thats why i tend to update more frequently.

heavy paragraph notes of these 3 things just make things harder because it's difficult to browse (or maybe it's just me) so it'd be much better to make them as brief as possible.

and wahsjas english isn't my first language so dictionary & thesaurus is my best friend

if it's aot centric fic, i have personal preferences to consider as well! this is mostly in canon-compliant/divergent types tho

i prefer the reader's characterization having a quite realistic touch esp with their emotional responses i guess? maybe because readers are like normal people in essence, just transported into the canon setting. it's also better if the insert isn't OP. or if it is, it should be well explained and characterized. it's aot after all, a series that doesn't hesitate to kill humans with or without strength and powers.

stick to canon character's study

ex. erwin being an extremely good and gentle guy who is often characterized as "look imma tell you something i haven't even told levi/hange without apparent rational reason. just because i quite like u." while i can also see his gentle side, erwin smith is a strategic, secretive, and ruthless character first and foremost! it's very imperative to include that and not just enclose him to some potentially softer man than levi. i can spot this in other characters as well.

aot basically designed all of the canon characters as awfully flawed and sometimes irrational individuals. as much as the author would highlight their good side, i would prefer if they could treat their flaws as equal.

i have no general standards with au because it's pretty much in the author's discretion and different world setting warrants different attitude (but i still prefer characs having slight similarities with their canon counterparts)

that's pretty much all of it! for me as long as it's well executed it's fine. and despite writing this, i still end up liking reader insert fics nonetheless just because of the tropes and tags (ˆ ڡ ˆ) as long as i found the theme that i want to read, inconsistencies don't matter that much. it's the effort that counts and i'm still thankful the author shared their work with me and i get to enjoy their content. good luck on your writing project and you can message me if you have more questions!

[lewalrus]

I looooove your thoughts on Deadman's scars and self esteem, I agree with you 100%. You KNOW that his skin is covered in scars, I also hc that he was "born" with a few messed up bones, so he has a few scars relating to those surgeries, like a pair on his wrists because his joints needed to be set properly. During my fanfic reaserch, I've read up more about living after an organ transplant (for inspiration), and found out that you actually need to take immunosuppressants for the rest of your life; I'd imagine that Deadman would need to take those, plus probably some diet supplements or blood pressure medications, and follow a strict diet. He had to do it since he can remember, so he's used to it now, but the thought that he's barely holding together sometimes unsettles him (even though he feels well at the moment). I think he admires all the "abnormalities" of Sam's body (the scar and the handprints) both as a scientist (an abnormality that fascinates him and he wants to study), and as a person (he thinks they look cool and what they represent). Sam doesn't like the handprints or the scar, since they bring back bad memories, but seeing how they fascinate Deadman and how he thinks they're beautiful and unique kinda encourages him to feel better in his skin and take more pride in them. He wishes he could convince Deadman that he doesn't care about the scars and transplants and meds and anything else, and he manages to at least lessen his worries by doing every day things like reminding him to take his meds, eat the same food as him (and Deadman is a pretty good cook) or kiss that forhead scar.

Whoa, okay, that was a wall of text, damn 😅 sorry, I can talk about these two (three if you count Lou) for hours 🥺 anyway, do you have any headcanons about their past relationships, if you think they had any? 😁

Wow, if there's something that always puzzled me is to why some people draw or write Deadman with scars on his arms or hands, since I always thought that it would make much more sense for him to only have scars on his torso because that's where his organs are, but thinking about this messed up bones hc, it actually makes sense now. You just opened my mind, anon xD

I didn't know about the immunosuppressants, god, the more you talk about these complex headcanons, the sadder I get because in the end we don't know a lot about Deadman's struggles canonicaly and we can only imagine these things. :/

Actually, I have some headcanons for their past relationships, for Sam I think he only had a relationship with Lucy, she was his first everything basically because he never let anyone get close to him before. As for Deadman, I have two conflicted headcanons, one of them is that Deadman never had anything with anyone before Sam, he is a completely touch starved in every way, and the second one is that he is actually more sexually experienced than Sam, he had some sexual partners before, but never ended up really falling in love with any of them or having them loving him. I don't know, something about the shower scene just makes me feel like Deadman knew exactly what he was doing and that he is not innocent at all lol

PS: Deadman is a great cooker and no one can change my mind about it!

[official-weasley]

The Extraordinary Dragon (Part 1/6)

After about a century of me being gone and not writing a new story, I am back with a mini-series! 💙

I didn't have a good idea for a new OC so I decided to write a cute and fluffy story about Charlie training a dragon with a sad and mysterious past.

I would like to thank @am-i-space @madelineorionswan & @the-al-chemist for giving me ideas for the names of the dragons mentioned in the story. You are the best 💙 Since some of the dragons are mentioned in the later chapters I will make sure to include which dragons you named in the Masterlist for the story 💙

If you'd like to be tagged in every part the dragon with your name is mentioned please tell me and I will gladly do so 🤗

Warnings: Charlie being excited and obsessed with dragons.

Word count: 2,869

A dragon's roar awakened me. It might sound terrifying to some, but it is a pure melody for my ears. I have been working in the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary for almost 10 years now. Come to think of it tomorrow's the anniversary.

My co-workers constantly tease me, telling me that I'm a workaholic. I always disagree with them. I just love dragons and working with them. Am I a bit obsessed with the creatures? Maybe. But who wouldn't be so excited about having their dream job?

There is something so soothing working with a beast that can swallow you whole, yet if you have the right energy and you treat them right they can be more obedient than a Crup.

When I first got the job I worked with a team of researchers. Since I have never seen a dragon in real life before starting working, my boss Matthew wanted me to learn about their behavior and study them to be better prepared to do other things.

They all thought I will be bored out of my mind – because I applied for the care of dragons position and not researching – but I loved every second of it. All I had to do was wake up every morning and go to the assigned habitat and observe the dragon there and take notes. It's like reading a book about the creatures – something I did almost every day of my 7 years at Hogwarts – but you get to be around them every single day.

My mother thinks I am insane for wanting to be around such dangerous creatures and I had to promise her before I left for Romania that I will write home every day otherwise she is coming to get me at once. I guess she needs to know daily that I wasn't eaten by a dragon. The thing is that being hurt by a dragon is less likely than falling off a broom, so I don't know what she is so worried about.

The only one of my family members that knows about all my injuries and all my scars is my big brother Bill. He understands that I don't mind getting hurt and he doesn't get a heart attack every time I end up in the infirmary. It's nice to talk to someone about these things outside my workspace. Even though being a Curse Breaker isn't the safest job in the world, Bill's number of scars can't even compare to mine.

We do have protective gear and gloves but sometimes the dragon's fire and teeth are just too strong. We are lucky that we have wonderful healers that take care of us and we have remedies that heal burns within minutes so it's mostly just an annoyance.

The year after my training I worked only with Common Welsh Greens. The year after that I tamed two Antipodean Opaleyes and it was the best feeling to see them get excited and welcome me with a friendly roar every morning. Even though they were both adults it felt like dealing with two kids and it was so much fun. The latter are such sweethearts and I even taught one how to roll over. They are like dogs but bigger, way bigger.

After that, I tried to convince my boss to let me work with a more dangerous breed. It's not that I didn't like what I did but I like a challenge. I needed 2 months to convince him to let me work with 2 Chinese Fireballs and by the smirk on his face I knew I was in for a treat. They were brought to our reserve so they could breed but no matter how much others tried nobody succeeded at mating them.

When Matthew finally gave in – not seeing any harm in letting me try before they send them back – I remember I danced around my hut for a solid half an hour being so excited to work with them the next day.

I was surprised that nobody thought of the strategy I choose. It was true that they brought the dragons to us together but they didn't know each other and since nobody thought of trying to acquaint them first, I gave it a go.

After 3 days they were best mates and I gave them 4 more days to fully feel comfortable with each other before taking them to the mating habitat. I am more than proud to say that since then they have been parents 2 times. I did some great things since I started working in the Sanctuary but you never forget your first big achievement.

Due to Matthew being absolutely in awe of me succeeding after a week he allowed me to work with a bunch of Swedish Short-Snouts even though usually only a dragonologist with 5+ years of experience can work with them alone.

I was amused when I saw the faces of some of my older co-workers when they found out – thinking they were going to get the job. I love working with them even though they are the ones responsible for most of my scars. Just after the first day, one burned my entire forearm and everyone thought I was going to back off because of it but it only made me want to work with them more.

Now, after almost 10 years I have worked with every single breed of dragon except my favorite – the Hebridean Black. They are one of the most dangerous and stubborn kind and only a dragonologist with a lot of experience gets to work with them.

I got the glimpse of one when I was working with the research team but no matter how sneaky I tried to be, Matthew wouldn't let me get anywhere close to them. I even got a chance to work with a team that took care of a sick Norwegian Ridgeback even though they are considered to be the most dangerous.

A year ago I got a chance to be part of an exchange program at the Swedish Dragon Reserve and I worked with a Peruvian Vipertooth and a Ukrainian Ironbelly. My boss wasn't happy about the latter one as he reckoned I was too inexperienced to be around and try to tame the largest breed of dragons but as you can probably tell from what I told you so far, I was over the roof about it!

The Ironbelly might be the largest but they are among the least vicious ones – none of my co-workers would agree with me as most of them are terrified of them but I think they are adorable thinking since they are the biggest they are also the scariest. It's the same as with dogs – sometimes the smaller ones are more dangerous.

I got out of bed with a grin on my face. Even though I don't like to admit it I like reminiscing on my biggest achievements.

I made myself some breakfast – eggs and bacon as usual – while blasting music on my wireless. Nothing like singing while cooking and reading the letters my family sent me.

Mum and dad were going to visit George and Ron for the weekend. Bill and Fleur decided to repaint their living room. Ginny invited me to one of her games next week and Percy got another promotion.

I walked to the wall where I had a calendar hanging to mark the date of Ginny's game. It was the perfect event to meet with most of my family members and I love supporting her. I am proud of all my siblings' achievements but Ginny being the only girl among 6 boys made us all have a soft spot for her - even Percy, even though he would probably deny it if someone asked him about it.

Since I was working with three different dragons at the moment – Peruvian Vipertooth named Hel and two Romanian Longhorns Lasair and Rocker – I double-checked my schedule to see which one I am supposed to visit today. As I thought, it was Lasair. I know my schedule by heart but always check it twice– I don't want any dragon to be jealous thinking one is getting more attention from me.

My routine with the dragons was simple. First, they get their breakfast which is usually a piece of their favorite meat, except if it's our Common Welsh Green Crystal – she is the only dragon I have ever met that is a vegetarian and she mostly doesn't want to eat anything else than apples. It took us the longest time to figure out why she doesn't want to eat – vomiting out all the meat we gave her – until we moved her to an habitant with a pumpkin patch and them mysteriously disappearing overnight.

After the feeding, I like to play with them. That usually includes large balls or levitating rocks after which they can jump and run. Then it's my favorite part of the day – the flying lessons. We transport them to the part of the reserve that is built like a large stadium in the middle of the forest surrounded by mountains and it has 10 obstacles that the dragons have to learn to overcome so they are cleared for free-flying sessions.

After flying it's time for a brief pause to get the dragon back to its habitat and calm it down before giving it dinner and tucking it in.

Flying is the most fun thing we can do at our job. When Matthew told me that I am finally allowed to fly with them, I had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom because I felt like crying my eyes out. I wanted to fly on a dragon ever since I was a kid and even though I heard rumors about training them in that way, I always thought it was too good to be true.

The first time I flew on a dragon was with a dragonologist named Jim. He showed me how to properly prepare the dragon to be in the mood to have a person on its back and how to lift off and then safely land. Vulcan the Opaleye was just the loveliest when I trained with him to trust me to the point that he would allow me to fly. Even though my dream is to one day fly on a Hebridean Black, I wouldn't change my first flight for anything in the world.

Vulcan was more than obedient and so careful to make me feel comfortable and constantly made sure I was still on his back. He flew in a straight line and at an even pace making me feel so safe that I let go of his shiny scales and lifted my hands in the air. I wanted to shout from all the adrenaline and excitement that ran through me but I didn't want to startle the dragon.

It's safe to say that I didn't sleep at all that night. The second I laid in my bed I felt as if I was still in the air with Vulcan and I couldn't help but wish to do that every day.

"Good morning, Lasair. What do you want to eat this morning? Boar, deer, moose perhaps?"Lasair lifted her head sleepily at me. I teased her with the options, knowing full well that moose was her favorite. If she could speak she would ask me if I can't remember her favorite meal.

"Don't worry, you'll get what you want." I winked at her and put on my gloves before taking out my wand and levitating the big chunk of meat to her.

Lasair was one of the rare dragons that ate her food slowly, so I loved to sit down next to her and watched her chew. If Matthew saw me, he would probably murder me for sitting so close to a dragon but he doesn't know that Lasair and I have an agreement of her keeping me alive and I give her some extra meat for dinner in return.

"So, Lassy, I have some bad news." I cleared my throat as the dragon stopped chewing and tilted her head toward me. "We have to sharpen your claws today."

Lasair groaned and went back to her breakfast.

"I know, I know. Not your favorite thing to do. Trust me if it was up to me, we would rather do something more fun like play with your favorite tire or play fetch with your ball. But the boss said it was time."

Lasair didn't react to my words but laid on the ground once she finished her meal and wrapped her tail around me.

"You know that cuddling and being cute won't work on me." I chuckled. "Not this time, at least."

The dragon's nostrils started to smoke and I knew she was trying to negotiate.

"Between you and me," I whispered, "I'll throw in another piece of meat if you'll be a good girl like last time. How about some boar for dessert, huh?"

Lasair let out a gentle roar, giving me a sign that she agrees with my terms.

"That's my girl. I knew we'll find a common ground." I grinned at her and got up so we could start our day.

"Okay, Lassy. I will need you to step on this mat and do the burying motion. As if you were burying the bones of a deer." I explained when Lasair looked at the mat in confusion.

I mimicked the gesture and she copied it and walked to the mat with grace as if she was a princess.

"There you go! I am so proud of you, Lasair. You really want that extra piece of meat, huh?" I laughed to myself.

"So that is how you get all dragons to behave as if they're Crups?" I turned toward the voice and saw Matthew's amused face, observing my work with the Romanian Longhorn.

"You were never meant to find out," I said in a dramatic voice.

"Oh, it's fine." Matthew swung his hand. "You'll need all the skills."

"What do you mean?" I furrowed my brows at him as I stepped to Lasair to show her to step a bit forward so she could sharpen the claws on her back paws as well.

"Do you know what tomorrow is?" Matthew asked, observing my every move.

"No." I lied. I knew that tomorrow will be 10 years since I work in the reserve but I didn't want to boast about it.

"Come on, Charles. I know that you out of everyone here you’re the one who counts how long you are working here for." He smirked at me.

I couldn't believe it. He remembered that it's my 10th anniversary? I couldn't help but grin.

"What about it?" I tried acting casually.

"Well, the team was thinking about what to get you as a present..."

"Matt, you don't have to get me anything. You know I am just happy being surrounded by dragons." I smiled appreciatively.

"Well, how about you get surrounded by a new dragon?" He winked at me.

"What are you on about?" I narrowed my eyes at him. I was getting impatient, the excitement in me growing.

"We are getting a one-year-old Hebridean Black in a week from the MacFusty’s." Matthew started to explain. "And since you are so good at taming and being best mates with the three you’re taming now, I was thinking of assigning it to you."

"Did...did you just say a Hebridean Black?" I said in a voice that was barely a whisper. I couldn't believe what just came out of his mouth. He was going to let me work with my favorite breed?

"You heard correctly, Charles." Matthew's smirk was growing larger.

"But...but I don't have enough experience, you said so yourself. You...you should give the job to someone worthy, to someone who will know how to handle the breed." I knew that I should've just shut up and thank him for the opportunity. Working with a Hebridean Black has been my goal ever since I can remember, but I have to keep my head clear and think of what's best for the dragon.

"Thinking like this is exactly why I am giving the job to you even though I told you the last time you begged me that you need at least 7 more years before you can work with them." Something in his eyes shifted. He had the exact expression on his face as he did when he assigned me to breed those two Fireballs.

"You are up to something. What's wrong with the dragon?" I pursed my lips at him.

"Oh, the dragon is just fine. Lovely, actually. I bet you two will have a lot of fun." The sarcastic tone in his voice told me that he was hiding something from me but I didn't dare to ask him about it.

He deemed me ready to work with a Hebridean Black. To work with my favorite breed. I am not about to jeopardize that if he thinks I am the one for the job. In a week my biggest dream will come true and there was nothing in the world that could ruin that.

[onewomancitadel]

I am really REALLY sorry for bothering you with this topic again. You do NOT have to reply to this. But I would recommend searching up "why men are avoiding women" as its related to what I was talking about. Apparently nearly 50% of men are going out of their way to avoid interactions with women. I am NOT blaming anyone for this. Just pointing out that it is a thing. Again sorry. Don't acknowledge this if I have offended you or wasted your time.

Me, as politely as possible: I have context. Please don't message me about this topic again.

You: *messages me about this topic again assuming I don't have context*

I am acknowledging this because you are annoying me in a new and exciting way it seems like you can't conceive of. It doesn't matter how much you couch it in apologies, if you outright ignore what an actual real person is saying to you and prioritise whatever ideology you're trying to peddle to me, then I don't think your ideology counts for much. You need to know how to actually convey your ideas properly, which includes respecting your interlocutor, and not simply telling them to search up some random (probably not peer-reviewed) online article. Sociology and psychology studies are notoriously unreplicable, even in the time of replication crisis. But that would be asking for a dubious online article to have some pomp and circumstance of 'science' in the first place.

So, my advice for you would be not just to think about what your beliefs are and to think that you can just transmute those to me in my (clearly inferior) mind: what should that dialogue look like? What does it mean to talk about these issues in a respectful way? What's our common ground? We should both be open to dialogue as well in the first place. That is a critical error you've made.

You are also making a critical leap in the first place from real world issues and how those express themselves in fictional interpretation, which in itself something I would want justified. It is known that in interpretation, real world issues don't necessarily have a 1:1 confluence (sometimes people have blindspots; sometimes fictional ideas oscillate with us differently to the 'real'; the very spectacle of unreality means we're dealing with something a little different, etc.). Certainly, there is some, but the leaps you're making of 'men avoiding women' and 'whiteknighting' as leading into the interpretation of 'obviously Cinder is a bitch and Jaune shouldn't help her' is... rather dubious. To me, the more simplistic answer is that these people maybe just don't like Cinder or don't like Jaune, which is maybe motivated by gender (Cinder is less excusable than Adam or Ironwood etc.), but could equally be motivated by ship competition. Jaune's other ships are more popular. Which is the devout irony, isn't it? I tend to a more holistic analysis.

Tearing down Knightfall with some weaksauce gender argument is what I would expect from people who don't know how to argue through actual narrative reasoning.

At any rate, I think that if you want to make your case effectively, you need to be more thoughtful and considerate of the person you are actually interacting with. I do understand that you don't want to offend me and you have a certain tone of apology in your ask.

Just view my response here as something to help you out. I have few hard feelings on my part now I've written this out. Mostly amusement, honestly.

[incorrect-quotes-from-she-ra]

Morning! I hope you don't mind if i give you yet another She-Ra thought I'm too damn lazy to post on my own. Also, it's long again. I WILL find that character limit some day.

So, we know the way Shadow Weaver raised Adora resulted, among other issues, in her being selfless to the point of self-sacrifice, which came to a climax in the Heart's failsafe business.

And it's been suggested that this was basically intentional on Shadow Weaver's part. Basically, selflessness is a very beneficial quality for others to have. My theory is that <b>her plan for Adora had always been specifically for her to someday use the failsafe and release all magic</b>.

(i will admit i am also curious how formatting works in this app. thank you for your help with these experiments)

So, evidence. Let's start with her name. I know this is a remake and they were stuck with the existing names, but there's a scene where Scorpia complains about it ("yeah i GET it, everyone LOVES you"), which constitutes the writers acknowledging its meaning, which makes me think it's fair game to analyze.

First, I'm obviously assuming Shadow Weaver choose it, as part of her ongoing parenting plan. It's also possible it was her original First One-given name, we don't know. Neither quite works because either she or Light Hope should have had some issues knowing what the name was and they clearly knew automatically. Really the entire series is weird in that everyone communicates with everyone else way too easily, and i will definitely rant about that someday.

For now let it stand that Shadow Weaver is the parent figure, it makes the most sense for her to pick the name, both in-universe and narratively, so i shall assume so by default. I have two things to say about that choice.

First, as we all have noticed, most of the princesses have names ending in -a. All of them, if you count "Glimma". It's never said to be intentional, but it would make sense. And then IF such a tradition exists among Etheria's royalty, it's not unreasonable for Shadow Weaver, a notable and moderately respected member of the land of knowledge, to know about it.

And then if she knew, of course she would take it into consideration when looking for names. Admittedly it's a little weird with the anti-Princess propaganda that the Horde has, but she doesn't really need to explain or justify this. Hordak has a very [i]laissez-faire[/i] attitude, and everyone else she clearly doesn't care about.

And if she knew or suspected that the princesses' powers were related to the Heart of Etheria, which i will argue for later, then giving her a princessy name is also adequately ironic.

The second name bit is that Scorpia clearly knows some Latin, but not enough. True, <em>adorare</em> means to worship and/or to love, but Latin verbs are more complex than that. _Adora_ specifically is 3rd person singular present indicative active. The translation would be "she loves".

Names aside, i want to talk about how they (we) learned about the Heart of Etheria. Castaspella doesn't know what to do, Shadow Weaver suggests they take a road trip to research, which she's reticent about but concedes is probably the best use of her time, and they find success. We don't know how long it took them, but i had the distinct impression that it wasn't very long.

Naturally, I'm suggesting Shadow Weaver knew all along, and led Castaspella on the trip to have an excuse for the inevitable "how do you know?". Also tricked her into thinking it was /her/ discovery, and maybe even that she was succeeding where Shadow Weaver had failed before, if necessary.

That's why she's so excited to share their results with everybody, and Shadow Weaver cuts her off, apparently just to antagonize her for fun, but I'm suggesting it was also because for her this is the culmination of a decades-long plan, and she wants to Get On With It.

It's also interesting that there was a mural depicting the Spell of Obtainment in the hallway leading to the failsafe. It was a reminder of Shadow Weaver's past, and an opportunity for her to show she regrets her results but doesn't repent from her choices, which i quite like actually. But I'm also saying that, meta-textually, it was a signal that she'd been there before, literally.

And then there is the potential in-universe connection, since we don't know what exactly the spell was meant to be obtaining. Power, for sure, and from what happened we're probably meant to assume it's tapping into some sort of demonic entity or dimension.

Fair enough, except that it never comes up again. And it's kind of a big plot point that Etheria is isolated from the rest of the cosmos, which may or may not conflict with it having a contactable "hell". Meanwhile there's the Heart of Etheria Project collecting all that magic, which Mara's allies (and their descendants) would know something about, have access to at least one backdoor to, and may well have tried to tap into its power at some point.

And then what went wrong may well be one of the defense mechanisms of the Project, though I'm admittedly veering into unfounded speculation.

So, a rough timeline. Light Spinner was always motivated to excel and craved power. She was probably always envied the princesses, who command greater magic than most sorcerers with apparently none of the study and practice.

She took to researching everything she could that might lead to power, eventually discovering the chamber with the failsafe, and presumably other information left by Mara's Friends, either in other chambers or in documents she's since removed. She would have learned a lot of things from this.

As i suggested, i believe she knew there's some connection between the princesses at large and the Heart of Etheria. Incidentally, i don't know exactly what that connection is, and in particular whether princesses were created by the Project or an existing phenomenon that the First Ones co-opted. But it doesn't matter, exactly.

What's important is that there's clearly a connection, more specifically a control system for the princesses and their magic, which is presumably related to how Shadow Weaver was able to tap into the Black Garnet's power. With Hordak's help, obviously, since she clearly believed it when he claimed he could cut her off at will, but he's later shown to have basically no understanding of First Ones' tech, so the knowledge must have come from her.

For the record, i would guess she thinks princesses are artificial, empowered both magically and politically to keep the planet in check, and that they would be depowered once the failsafe was fired. I also think that may be true, actually, since it almost happened when Entrapta was messing with the system, and if i recall none of them were shown to use any magic after Adora did fire it, while she clearly used Perfuma's power. But anyways!

Back to what Shadow Weaver learned, she would know some of what the failsafe does, namely disrupt the system that's hoarding most of the planet's magic, thereby spreading magic to all (most notably her), and some of how to use it, and the fact that she couldn't do so and hope to live, and some of the criteria for who can. That part is important.

But first, she also learned the Spell of Obtainment, deemed it more likely but didn't think she could do it herself, despaired of getting help until she thought Hordak's rise to fame would give her #casus belli#, lost her patience when the Mystacor leadership disagreed, etc etc etc. Pretty uncontroversial in this part, i think.

After she'd joined the Horde, when Hordak showed up with baby Adora and wanted to lump her with the rest of the orphans they have, Shadow Weaver pleaded to have her get special treatment. She even said that she's special, and it couldn't have been her leadership skills or good heart, since she didn't have either yet. It's heavily implied she could recognize her as a First One, but it's not clear why she would care, since they were known for leaving behind advanced technology, which a baby also doesn't have. Unless, of course, she knew there are devices only a First One could use, and maybe has plans related to that.

So I'm pretty sure she learned the criteria that the failsafe requires, devised some spell or technique to check people for them that she pretty much used all the time, just in case, and was very surprised when a newborn tested positive. She was also surprised when Hordak made her personally responsible for the raising of the kid, but her reaction is pretty much "ok, that could work, i guess".

Also also, i suspect she can read First One script. Not perfectly like Adora, but better than Bow's parents probably. Mostly because when she puts Adora's hand on the crystal and says "i think you know the password", that seems like a very transparent attempt to pretend she knows it too when she doesn't. But that seems irresponsible at such a crucial moment, she and Castaspella should really have researched it earlier. Or at least her line there should have been "you can read this, right?" or somesuch.

So I'm thinking it's a double bluff, hoping everybody assumes she doesn't know so she doesn't have to reveal how and why she knows, again.

And that's all i have, i think? This is not nearly as well laid out as i would like. But then, nothing ever is, right?

Also it's not even close to morning anymore. Thank you if you even got this far, and have a good evening!

hi!!! this took me a while to answer, i'm so sorry about that <3

i'm very low on energy today so i cannot summon up the brain energy to respond properly to this, as much as i want to, i'm really sorry for that as well

i love this theory!! it actually fits in really well with canon and makes, like, a LOT of sense now that i think about it. i definitely wouldn't have thought of this on my own, so thank you for sharing this with me!! :D