#this is a perfect example of how an adaptation should be- giving us new angles and things to examine from the original text

[coldmilkchoices]

i love the new episode of murderbot so much. firstly i loveeee mensah and murderbots relationship so much and theyre doing it so much justice, and i love the juxtaposition of most of the episode being murderbot trying its best to make mensah feel better and showing its personality way more only to kill lebeebee with absolutely no hesitation. they have gotten murderbot perfectly. its a person but it is NOT human and this episode comes at the perfect time to remind PresAux AND the audience of the fact that it is a SecUnit and it named itself murderbot for a reason. im so excited to see how the PresAux team deals with this because in the books PresAux doesn't really have to deal with a lot of the fallout of murderbot being a SecUnit and a murderbot because the books have it more as a personal journey, which is great, but a lot of the humans murderbot interacts with don't understand the reality of it being a SecUnit and what it was created to do and what it has been forced to do in the past. obviously those things aren't all murderbot is but im SOOOO excited that they're putting this front and center right now

[jopriyu]

Teaching Our Kids to Thrive in an Ever-Changing World: Moving Beyond Skills to Mindsets

Education and employability have always gone hand in hand. For thousands of years, parents passed down skills to their children that would help them survive and thrive. It started with hunting and gathering, then moved to farming and metalworking. Each generation taught what they knew, confident that these skills would keep their children fed and secure.

As time went on, the world changed, and new professions emerged—things like accounting, carpentry, science, and medicine. Parents would teach these trades, sure that they’d provide a steady life for their kids. But now, with the rise of computers and technology, everything feels like it’s shifting so fast. The jobs that once seemed like sure bets—like doctors, lawyers, and engineers—are transforming, and some are disappearing altogether.

In our parents' generation, IT jobs were just starting to boom, and if you got in early, it felt like you had it made. But now, fields like social media influencing, big data analysis, and AI are popping up. Even just the other day, my husband, who's deep into tech, said the “next big thing” might be prompt engineering—creating the right instructions for tools like ChatGPT to generate anything from art to code.

It’s honestly hard to keep up. As parents, we’re left wondering: What should we tell our kids? How do we prepare them for a future that feels more uncertain than ever? We want to guide them, but it’s tough when the world around us is changing so quickly.

After thinking about it a lot, I’ve come to a realization: maybe we’re focusing on the wrong thing. Instead of just teaching specific skills, maybe we should be focusing on traits. What really matters now is giving our kids the mental flexibility to adapt to whatever comes next.

We need to teach them to be agile—not just physically, but in how they think. We need to show them how to learn, so they can teach themselves anything they’ll need down the road. They have to be comfortable unlearning things that no longer work and relearning new ways to solve problems. We need to help them break free from old ways of thinking and show them how to make their own paths. "Thinking outside the box" doesn’t cut it anymore—there’s no box. They’ll need to be able to think from multiple angles, solve problems in creative ways, and adapt to whatever challenges come their way.

But here’s the thing: our education system isn’t quite keeping up with all this. It’s still focused on memorization and testing, not on teaching kids how to think critically or adapt quickly. If we want education to stay relevant, it has to change. The future won’t just need kids who know a lot—they’ll need kids who are creative, curious, and able to roll with the punches. These are the traits that will help them succeed in whatever the future holds.

Maybe this is why so many parents are turning to alternative education systems. More and more people are looking into options like the International Baccalaureate (IB), IGCSE, and even schools focused on hands-on learning, like farming schools. They may not be perfect, but they’re trying something different—something that acknowledges that the world has changed, and education needs to change with it.

For example, IB and IGCSE place a huge emphasis on critical thinking, creativity, and applying what you learn to real-world problems, rather than just memorizing facts for tests. And then there are schools focused on nature-based education—farming schools, for instance—that teach kids to be resourceful, resilient, and connected to the world around them.

None of these alternatives have all the answers, but they’re trying. They’re making an effort to rethink what education should be. They understand that what worked for previous generations might not work for the ones coming up. They’re focusing on teaching traits, habits, and mindsets that will help kids thrive in a world we can’t fully predict.

There’s no “perfect” education system out there yet, but the fact that these alternatives exist shows that we’re starting to understand what kids really need: not just knowledge, but the ability to adapt and learn in an ever-changing world. These schools aren’t just teaching facts; they’re teaching kids how to learn, how to adapt, and how to thrive, no matter what the future looks like.

As parents, we might not have all the answers, but we do know that the future isn’t about following a set path. It’s about learning how to carve out a path of your own, to tackle challenges, and to think in new ways.

Maybe that’s the best preparation we can give our children. Instead of focusing on specific skills that might soon become irrelevant, let’s focus on equipping them with the traits, mindsets, and habits they’ll need to adapt, create, and lead in a world full of uncertainty.

[mountainwestern]

A Guide to Bolo Tie Cords: Why Quality and Color Matter

Bolo ties are more than just accessories—they're expressions of individuality and style. Choosing the right cord for your bolo tie can make all the difference in how it looks and feels. Whether you're replacing an old favorite or creating a new design, the quality and color of your bolo tie's cord can enhance its overall appearance.

The Importance of Cord Quality

When selecting bolo ties cords, quality should always come first. A cord that is uneven or bumpy can ruin the sleek look of your bolo tie. That's why Rocky Mountain Western offers braided leather cords, made with precision to ensure a smooth and consistent texture. Their cords are angle cut, which prevents the rough, bumpy feel often found in square-cut cords. With the right cord, your bolo tie will sit comfortably and look polished.

Their 3mm leather cord, for example, is designed to provide the durability of a heavy cord but in a size that works perfectly for bolo ties, necklaces, and even watchbands. This size keeps your bolo tie secure without feeling bulky around your neck. And, although some splicing may occur, the overall quality remains top-notch.

Choosing the Right Color

Beyond the quality, the color of your bolo tie's string plays a significant role in completing your outfit. With over 25 colors available from Rocky Mountain Western, the possibilities are nearly endless. Whether you're aiming for a classic look with neutral tones like black or brown or something more vibrant like red or turquoise, the right color can make your bolo tie pop.

Rocky Mountain Western offers both genuine leather and suedette cords, so you can experiment with different textures and finishes depending on your personal style. The color chart, located at the bottom of their page, makes it easy to browse through their extensive selection and find the perfect match for your wardrobe.

Updating Your Bolo Tie

If you have a favorite bolo tie that needs a refresh, switching out the cord is a quick and effective solution. Rocky Mountain Western's finished cords allow you to update your bolo tie easily. With just a simple swap, you can give an old piece a new look by pairing it with fresh tips and a new cord. This makes your bolo tie adaptable for various occasions, whether you are dressing up for an event or going for a casual look.

Final Thoughts

The cords and strings used in bolo ties are more than just functional pieces—they're key to the overall style of your accessory. With a wide array of colors and high-quality materials, Rocky Mountain Western makes it easy to find or replace the perfect cord for your bolo tie. Take advantage of their braided leather cords and explore the array of colors to create a look that reflects your unique personality.

Remember, a well-chosen cord can elevate the appearance of your bolo tie, making it more than just a piece of jewelry—it becomes a statement.

[sparkkeyper]

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Word Count: 3,797

Warnings: None    

Summary: Old habits die hard. Crowley and Aziraphale’s habits are very, very old. Building their own side is difficult when 6000 years of instincts won’t shut up. 

(Originally very loosely-based on the song "Baby, It's Cold Outside" but then it kind of did its own thing, haha. I was originally going to post this for Advent  Omens but uhhh you can see that didn’t quite happen. Written as ace but you can read it however you want, really. Guess what fools, it’s Soft Boi hours again!)

(Now on AO3!)

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The snow had started early in the day. When Aziraphale arrived at the Mayfair flat it was just a dusting. But the flurry had become a proper snowfall, and then quickly decided 'go big or go home' and transitioned into a flat-out storm.

This didn't phase the two immortals in the slightest, of course. If anything, the swirling flakes outside made it feel even cozier inside. Crowley's sleek, minimalist flat had grown a fireplace for the occasion, and a very surprised new chimney on the roof of the building found itself venting smoke that somehow managed to bypass three floors.

They sat together on the plush sofa (obtained at Aziraphale's insistence several months prior, on the grounds that he wasn't going to continue coming over if there was nowhere comfortable to sit, and Crowley couldn't have that) and drank wine and talked and laughed and reveled in the feeling of being cozy and warm on a cold, blustery day.

Time had traveled on in the usual manner since Armageddon failed to happen. The two of them were unwinding slowly. Thousands of years of looking over shoulders did not evaporate in an evening, benevolent Antichrist or no, and 'our side' was a concept they were still carefully exploring. But what a glorious exploration it was.

There was no limit to the amount of time they could spend together. It was a dizzying concept that they were both adjusting to, but one that carried a thrill through it all the same. Crowley had been sorely tempted to buy tickets to every concert, play, and musical revue London had to offer and do nothing but attend shows for the foreseeable future, the two of them together. In public. He very well might have done too, if Aziraphale hadn't talked him down amid giddy chuckles. "We have time," Aziraphale had reminded him, and Crowley was ecstatic to realize that it was true.

He had relented to two a week.

It was elating. They stood closer together, they sat beside each other on public transportation rather than one behind the other, they gave each other teasing nudges with elbows.

And sometimes - when they were both at least a bottle in - one of them might even bump their hand against the other's, and fingers might intertwine, and an electric tingle would flood Crowley like a live thing, and most importantly neither would pull away for at least two solid minutes and oh wasn't that alone worth saving the world for?

Crowley spent a previously-unheard-of amount of time at the bookshop and Aziraphale's face always lit up like the sun whenever he walked in. He arrived early, stayed late, sometimes didn't bother going home at all, often showed up with wine or snacks, and they were together and it was wonderful. He had fallen asleep on the bookshop couch in the past, but these months he got the impression that Aziraphale had zoned the piece of furniture as specifically his. There was a permanent place set aside for him in Aziraphale's home, in Aziraphale's life. It made a warmth pool in his stomach to think about it despite the creeping winter chill.

Aziraphale had begun to visit Crowley's flat in return. The angel had never once set foot in the place until the night after the airfield - Crowley had never given him the address, to be fair - but now that permission had been granted Aziraphale was here increasingly often. It was so like the easy evenings at the bookshop, just with more austere surroundings. Music, alcohol, debates and memories and slightly drunken speculation. The occasional temporary twining of fingers. It was good.

It was overwhelming sometimes, this new 'good'.

Aziraphale always left the flat at the end of the evening, usually around ten. He had no reservations whatsoever about chatting until dawn in the bookshop but the flat was a new environment, Crowley supposed. Possibly something to do with propriety.

Possibly something to do with thousands of years of distance that they were both still figuring out how to cross.

But that was Aziraphale, all right: as slow and steady as a glacier when it came to his set, comfortable ways. So much had changed in the past few months and the angel had had to adapt quickly. Crowley didn't begrudge him taking a few things slow. Old habits were hard to break and their habits were very, very old.

Crowley understood well how shadows could linger even in the bright daylight. It was all well and good to say he was off Hell's payroll. It was another thing entirely when instinct crept up on him screaming that he needed to watch his back, to sit a row behind Aziraphale on the bus, to have forty excuses ready for when Dagon came auditing. It took considerable effort to override those instincts and remind himself that 'together' was okay. It was allowed. And still he'd so far only managed to turn the volume down on them, not silence them completely. He didn't know if he ever would. Crowley didn't doubt Aziraphale had similar instincts of his own. If the angel felt better setting himself a curfew, Crowley certainly wasn't going to judge.

But tonight they were here, and warm, and sheltered from the blizzard. As 'retro' had begun to slide back into style, Crowley had picked up a sleek addition to his stereo system that was at once a record turntable, radio, tape deck, and CD player, with added Bluetooth capability for good measure. Strains of Vivaldi swam through the room from a vinyl, mingling with the crackling of the fire and the clinking of wine glasses. Aziraphale was settled deeply into the sofa, his posture several steps short of perfect which was how Crowley knew he was truly relaxed. Crowley, as per usual, was draped over the couch like he'd never seen one before in his life, as though he had too many limbs and didn't know what to do with them all. It was good.

Life was good.

It was a little after ten when Aziraphale spoke up. "It's getting late." His voice was a bit distant as he looked out the window, snow glinting in the reflected light as it fell. "I suppose I ought to be going."

There was a note of regret to his voice, a lack of conviction in his eyes, that Crowley had learned to read over the long years of the Arrangement. A smile pulled at the corner of the demon's mouth, covered up easily by another sip of wine. It was a very old game they played, treading carefully along the outside edges of things that could not or should not be said aloud. Expectations, angelic ones in particular, built a lot of barriers. Aziraphale wanted something that wasn't allowed him - or wasn't supposed to be allowed him - and couldn't bring himself to reach out and grasp it. It was Crowley's job to find ways for him to justify the forbidden something to himself.

In the subtle language they shared, the angel was asking Crowley to tempt him, and how could Crowley pass up a request like that?

"Awfully cold out there," the demon drawled, gesturing languidly toward the window with his wine glass. "Snowing like nobody's business. Wind and ice and subzero chill. Terrible night to be out in."

"I'm sure it's not so bad."

"Not so bad? It's been raging for hours! Look at it! It's knee-high! You expect me to try and drive my poor car out in that mess?"

Aziraphale raised an eyebrow at the demon. "Ah yes. Imagine if humans invented other forms of transportation aside from your horrid car."

The demon's argument was all bluff and they both knew it. The Bentley could slice through the snowdrifts like a hot knife through butter if Crowley wanted it to. It wasn't the strength of the argument that mattered - it was whether or not Aziraphale could twist it to bypass the metaphorical roadblocks. Crowley rose to the challenge by sprawling back on the sofa with a smirk. "Other forms of transportation? You mean a bus, in weather like that? And good luck finding a cab out there, angel. City's practically shut down."

Aziraphale stood, giving his back a tentative stretch. "I could walk, of course. I've done it loads of times. It doesn't take much more than twenty minutes, not counting the care that has to be taken for ice."

"Walk, he says!" Crowley tossed back the remainder of his wine like a shot glass. "Think of it - the first angel in history to catch pneumonia! Bad job I'm not working for Hell anymore; they'd give me an award!"

"If doing those temptations in Qashliq for you didn't give me pneumonia, I'm quite sure nothing will."

"Are you ever going to let that go? It was over four hundred years ago!"

"It was February in Siberia, no I will not."

"Suppose you did stay a bit longer," Crowley ventured, changing tactics. It was a risk, coming at the problem from such a direct angle when they were both so used to ghosting along edges. "Bookshop wouldn't go anywhere, would it?"

Aziraphale blinked at the abrupt transition. "Well no, I shouldn't think so. It's just...I mean if I don't return home someone might notice of course and well...people will talk."

Crowley leaned forward over his knees, seriously. "Angel. When, in two hundred years in that bookshop, have you ever given a single fuck what your human neighbours think?"

Aziraphale drew himself up with a huff, and Crowley was delighted to see familiar indignation winning out over nerves. "I am an upstanding member of the community, I'll have you know. And it's not just my neighbours, of course - it's yours as well. That little old lady who lives on the floor below, for example. She always gives me that look when I pass her in the lift."

"What look?"

"You know! That look! Like she thinks she knows what's going on between the two of us."

The demon grinned like a Cheshire cat and gave a suggestive wiggle of his shoulders just for the expression it painted across the angel's face. "You're worried that my neighbours are going to think you and I took a tumble in the sheets?"

"They already suspect! Or at least she suspects." Aziraphale was trying so hard to keep a straight face, but mirth glinted behind his eyes. "Do you know what she said to me as she was getting out of the lift the other day? 'Don't forget to use protection; you don't know where he's been!'"

Crowley howled, leaning so far back in his laughter that he fell off the couch.

"I don't know what's more outlandish, the idea that we're in here having a lurid physical affair or the idea that I don't know exactly where you've been."

Crowley wiped his eyes dry and held out a hand so the angel could help pull him up from the floor. "Remind me to miracle her fridge so that all her milk keeps past its date. 'Don't know where he's been' indeed."

Aziraphale fought to get his own smile under control, for the sake of his argument if nothing else. "Yes, but it just goes to show, Crowley, people do notice. And they will talk, I'm sure of it."

"Let them," he waved it off. "I've seen tissue paper with more durability than human gossip. It'll all get forgotten in a day or two." Crowley leaned over and refilled both glasses.

"Right. I suppose it will." The angel took a tentative sip and sat back into the sofa again. "Silly thing to get worked up about, really."

On a regular night that might have been the end of it. They'd had their verbal tennis, they'd had a laugh, and Aziraphale had accepted another drink. But try as he might, the angel couldn't seem to settle. There was a stiffness, a tension to his spine that would not unwind. He fidgeted with the stemware, shooting furtive glances at the window, the fireplace, the clock. 

The ceiling.

The final notes of Vivaldi faded out, leaving the room in silence, and Crowley rose to swap the record. The discomfort radiating off the angel was almost palpable and it made his own spine crawl. "Aziraphale--"

"Only, the wind really looks dreadful," Aziraphale blurted out, jolting to his feet and crossing to the window. "I really ought to go before it gets worse."

"Can't get much worse than it is, I think," Crowley countered carefully. "Best stay where it's warm."

"I don't..." Aziraphale stared out at the London skyline, nearly invisible in the storm. Pale fingers worried absently at the hem of his waistcoat. His mouth was down to a thin line and there was quite a lot behind his eyes. He looked pained. "I shouldn't impose."

"You're not imposing if I'm offering."

"It isn't...it isn't right for me to stay!"

The demon set down the vinyl he was holding, something dangerous layering his words. "Says who?"

"I've been ignoring protocol too much as it is--"

Crowley gritted his teeth, a growl rising in his throat. "There is no protocol on our side!"

"I know!" Aziraphale snapped. There was a beat of silence and the anger in the angel's face melted as suddenly as it had come, leaving his expression frustrated and upset. He scrubbed a hand across his eyes, almost apologetically. "I...I really can't...surely you understand why I can't just..." He ran a hand through his hair helplessly, eyes darting to the ceiling.

The demon set his glass down and moved over to the window.

It was a very old game they played. Crowley was good at his job and Aziraphale was good at the mental gymnastics required to fit through some of the more dubious loopholes. But every now and then they still lost.

He positioned himself in front of the principality, forcing Aziraphale to look at him.

"Angel," he said quietly, as though someone might overhear. "If you want to head home, I'll take you. You know I will. I'd just rather it be because you want to rather than because they would want you to."

Aziraphale looked truly miserable. "Crowley, you've been a marvelous host, you really have, but...I'm so sorry, I..."

Crowley stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. For just a moment the demon's face was soft, genuine. A bit sad but still impossibly fond. "Don't be." He gave the shoulder a gentle squeeze. "It's late. Get your coat, angel, it's cold out there." He doused the fireplace with a wave and stretched his back out. "Give me a moment to sober up and I'll start the car."

Aziraphale sighed, clearly frustrated at a great many things, but headed for the coat rack while the demon forced the alcohol from his system. "It ought to be fine," he muttered as the wine bottles in the corner finished refilling. "It ought to be fine. I can't explain it, I..."

"It's like someone's standing too close inside your personal space," Crowley finished for him quietly, pulling a coat of his own from the ether. "Like you're driving on the motorway and you end up in the blind spot of a lorry. There's no great outward change but all of a sudden the hairs are up on the back of your neck and your skin is crawling. And you just have this overwhelming sense of this is not a good place to be, get out."

"Yes," Aziraphale murmured unsteadily. "Yes, that's it exactly." His eyes found Crowley's, apologetic, searching.

"It is what it is, angel," he assured him softly. "We have time."

A weight seemed to lift from Aziraphale's shoulders. "I...thank you. Truly." There were things unspoken that Crowley could hear beneath that simple phrase. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for being patient with me.

Don't say that, hesitated on the tip of Crowley's tongue. Instinct was, of course, very old and very strong. He swallowed down the words and searched for new ones to replace them.

"You're welcome," he said quietly. The syllables tasted foreign in his mouth.

There was silence in the flat as he buttoned up his coat. Despite the passing months they truly had only moved the barest steps away from where they had been.

They had so very far to go yet.

But it was true. They had time.

"Right." He tried to break the mood as casually as he could, slipping dark glasses on and turning his voice into something light and easy. "Shall we be off then? After you, angel."

The lift ride down was silent, subdued. Something complicated was warring behind the blue eyes and Crowley wasn't going to even begin to touch on it until they were in the car. Aziraphale's steps faltered as he reached the glass doors of the lobby, and Crowley was halfway down the outside stairs before he realized he wasn't following.

"Oi, you coming?"

Aziraphale stared down at the space beyond the door with a peculiar expression: uncertainty and determination and anger and hurt. "I - I don't..." There was a moment of indecision, of frantic debate on his face, then he backed quickly over to the lobby bench and sat down hard.

Crowley pulled his coat tighter about himself as the wind bit through his clothes and ducked back into the building.

Aziraphale held very still, eyes closed and fingers gripping the edge of the bench.

"Angel?"

"Give me a moment. Please."

Crowley paced a cautious half-circle around him, instinctively scanning the principality for damage and the storm beyond the glass wall for threats. Another old habit - nearly useless now but one he wasn't going to be able to drop any time soon. He sat down beside the angel and the lobby was quiet for a very, very long time.

"I think," murmured Aziraphale at last, "if it's all right with you, I'd like to stay."

Crowley studied him closely. "Are you sure?"

"No." Aziraphale met his gaze. "I haven't been sure of much of anything, recently. Not since Tadfield. But I do not want to be forced back to the bookshop tonight."

"Shouldn't force yourself to stay if you're only going to be miserable."

"It's not so bad down here, that's the silly thing. But for some reason the idea of going back upstairs is just..." He laughed wryly. "What a mess I've made of the evening."

"It was a fine evening," Crowley told him earnestly.

"I thought so too, at least until the end there." He straightened, and looked a bit more like himself to Crowley's eyes. "And it's my most sincere hope that, with some more wine and another record, it might be again. Give me a few minutes. I think I can work up to it."

The demon took his glasses off and studied him closely. The determination in those eyes, the set of that jaw, were so familiar they hurt. There was a nervousness there, but there was a stubbornness as well. Like the glacier: slow, steady, but deep down so, so strong.

Crowley reached behind himself and retrieved a pair of full wine glasses that suddenly and thoughtfully decided to exist. "You know, I reckon..." he said quietly, handing one to Aziraphale, "that these will taste just as good right here as they would upstairs."

Aziraphale blinked. Glanced from his glass to the demon to the lift and back again. And his expression softened considerably.

"And if music and wine is what it takes to hang onto your company for a little longer, I s'pose that's the sacrifice I'll have to make, won't I?" He sat his phone down beside him and with a few taps Mozart began to play from its speakers.

Aziraphale stared deep into his wine glass, a smile spreading across his face that he didn't seem quite ready to share with the world yet. "A little unorthodox, isn't it?"

"And?" Crowley shrugged. "Last I checked, there's no protocol on our side."

"So there isn't. Do you know, I think I like that about it."

The demon lowered his voice. "Say the word any time, you know. We'll go, no questions asked."

"I know." Aziraphale let out a long breath and settled back onto cushions that were suddenly far more plush than anything the lobby bench had seen before. "But at the moment I'd rather be here."

The storm howled beyond the glass wall but the central heating vent behind them kept any stray chills at bay. They sat in gentle silence for a long time.

Piano Sonata No. 14 wound through the room, mingling with the warmth and the wine to kindle a sense of calm: a concoction of human magic that miracles, for all their power, could never replicate. Clever things, those humans.

Crowley traced a finger around the rim of his glass. "Can I ask what changed your mind?" he asked softly.

Aziraphale gazed off into the distance for a moment before looking back to his companion. "It was the 'you're welcome', funnily enough. You've always objected so vehemently to being thanked before."

"Yeah, well..." Crowley took another sip of his drink so as not to meet Aziraphale's eyes. "Like being in the blind spot of a lorry."

Aziraphale nodded. "It's..." He trailed off. Took a swig of wine and swallowed it down hard, as though for courage. "It's a comfort," he admitted so quietly that Crowley had to strain to hear him. "To know that it's not just me."

Crowley pursed his lips. "Not by a long shot, no" he confessed, equally quiet.

"I know accepting gratitude doesn't come easy to you. But you managed, tonight."

"It isn't a footrace, angel. I'm not asking you to keep pace with me."

"I know that. And I'm grateful. It's just... seeing you be brave makes me feel like...like I can be as well."

That smile was tugging at the edge of Crowley's mouth again. He reached out and clinked the edge of his glass with Aziraphale's. "Course you can be. Always have been."

The angel smiled back at him, warm and glowing and grateful, just the faintest hint of pink darkening his cheeks. With a daring Crowley had only seen behind the safety of closed doors and wine bottles, he placed a hand on the bench between them, palm up. 

Crowley took it.

Meeting him in the middle, as always.

"Careful, angel," the demon murmured in his ear. "Remember, you don't know where I've been."

Aziraphale gave an undignified snort into his wine glass and their laughter echoed throughout the lobby.

The storm raged cold outside, but here, in their own little in-between place, they were warm.

[harryskalechips]

A little blue

A/n I’m sorry this was supposed to be up at 12. Last night I couldn’t’ stop playing sims and I had no motivation to finish this. LOL it’s kinda messy sorry

It’s sad that he notices her throughout the night but the only words of affection that can come out of his mouth are hurtful.

Word count: 2765

It all began when Y/N first moved to Los Angeles, California for an opportunity to be an intern at a fabulous publishing office. Her cousin who lives in England had an ex-roommate Sarah, who just happened to be living in LA for quite some time now. Being the nicest out of all Y/N’s cousins, she gave their phone numbers to one another so they can meet up and Y/N can have a friendly face in the city. After that, Y/N got to know Mitch, Adam, Ny, Charlotte, and Jeff along with his girlfriend Glenne.

At first, she didn’t know they were in a band playing for THE Harry Styles. She just happened to know they were co-workers and they all had to move to adapt to their work schedule. Sarah would bring up a man named Harry and she always suggested that they should meet each other. Sadly, it took longer than usual since this man was always busy.

When Harry first heard about the new girl, Y/N, he was intrigued as to who this girl can be. One night while his band was over rehearsing in his home studio, Charlotte brought up the idea of inviting Y/N, which all Harry can say was yes due to him wanting nothing more than to make people happy. It was a shock really how when his eyes first met the new girl’s, he felt something in his stomach as if for some unknown reason he just had butterflies.

“Harry, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Harry Styles!” Sarah ecstatically says as she watches Y/N’s eyes light up. She didn’t know if she was going to tell her friends this but she was a big fan of Harry when he was still in One Direction and although she listens to his new solo music, she never realized that her friends were the music prodigies of his band!

“H-hi… Harry.” Y/N sweetly smiles as she takes a step forward to him. He was ultimately very pretty and if her heart had never beaten so fast for a boy before, today was the day.

“Hey.” He gives a small smile as he looks for Mitch’s eye contact instead. Mitch was confused about why Harry was acting all distant, usually, he’s very outgoing.

As that day progressed and many more outings with the group, Y/N grew the idea of feeling unwanted by Harry. Needless to say, when he would join her, Sarah and Mitch on a night out for fun. He would constantly ignore her. He never really looked her way and when she would ask him questions about himself, he was always giving short answers. For fuck’s sake, he gives out more information in a regular interview.

She didn’t want to believe he didn’t like her but actions speak louder than words and Y/N was starting to feel that he resented her.

~

“Happy Birthday Mitch!” Y/N leaps into Mitch’s arms after he opened his front door for her. Today was Mitch’s birthday and the whole gang decided to come over to his house to hang out and play games before heading out to the club. Y/N was very excited because it’s her first party after living in LA for months.

“Y/N, I’m glad you’re here!” Mitch hugs her back just as tightly. As they pulled away, Mitch took his present so he could open them later. “Get some food and grab a beer, everyone is in the living room.”  Y/N smiled happily as she took her shoes off and headed deeply more into the familiar house.

“Y/N, why were you the last one! I’ve been waiting for you!” Sarah stands up from the floor to hug the sweet girl. Although Y/N is younger than the rest of her friends, they never failed to make her feel just as accepted.

“I’m sorry, I had to reorganize my boss’ files last minute.” She pouts. Sarah mindlessly reaches out to give her a bottle of beer.

“It’s alright, I’ll be back. I’m just going to help Mitch in the kitchen.” Sarah walks out of the room but the silence is quickly filled as all her other friends are enthused by her presence. Y/N walks around, giving her friends hugs but at last, Harry is sitting alone on one of the couches. He didn’t really say hi to her when she first arrived and as she was walking around greeting everyone, he made sure to start a conversation with Adam.

“Hey, Harry.” Y/N greets the man in front of her politely. She was trying hard not to let him see her heart eyes for him. It was not a lie that Y/N developed a crush for him despite his cold attitude towards her. If anything, it made her want to know more about him.

“Hey.” Harry looks up and gives a small smile. He doesn’t try to reach out and hug her.

“Y/N, Come here and take a selfie with us!” Charlotte pats the seat beside her as she and Ny try to find the perfect angle on her phone.

~

As the night went by, the group of friends played various board games. The sun had just set and it was now their cue to head to the club. “Okay, I really don’t want to say this but we need two drivers to stay sober tonight.” Sarah bites her lip as everyone exits the house.

“I’ll stay sober tonight,” Adam speaks up. It wasn’t a surprise since he had two kids at home and he didn’t want to wake up in the morning making breakfast with a hangover. Lastly,  the boy beside Mitch spoke up.

“Yeah, I don’t mind driving tonight.”

“Harry,” Ny interrupted, “Out of all of us, you should be the one drinking. You’ve had so many meetings this week.”

“No, it’s fine.” he laughs and flashes a smile. “If anything, I’ll call my driver but I don’t think I’ll be drinking too much.”

“Perfect! Let’s go!” Sarah cheered as she grabbed my hand to go in the car with her. In Adam’s car, Charlotte, Ny, Jeff and Glenne hopped in. Leaving Harry to take Mitch, Sarah, and Y/N.

As the two boys rode in the front, Sarah and Y/N sat in the back. With a nudge in the hip, Y/N looks at Sarah surprisingly. “What?”

“Are you okay?” Sarah whispers, hoping the boys in the front won’t notice as they’re in their own conversation. “You’ve been off throughout the whole night.” Y/N didn’t want to tell Sarah how she felt but the more she thought about it, she believed it wouldn’t hurt anybody.

“Harry doesn’t like me.” She bites her lip as she stares out the window. She didn’t want Harry or anybody to see her cry over a stupid thing. As she looks up, she catches Harry already looking at her through the rear window. Coughing loudly, Harry looks away and replies to Mitch.

“That’s not true! He’s not the kind of guy who would hate anybody for no reason.” Sarah tries to convince Y/N.

“It’s okay don’t-”

“Harry, can I ask you a favour?” Sarah interrupts Y/N as she calls for the boy behind the wheel.

“Yeah.” Harry replies as he parks in the lot.

“Can you watch over Y/N tonight? It’s her first time in an exclusive night club. She’s kind of scared. Plus, I want to be with Mitch tonight.”

“Um no. I can’t do that.” Harry replies shortly as Mitch and Sarah’s eyes widen. “I want to have fun tonight. I don’t want to babysit. She’s a grown girl. Make her sit with Adam the whole night. I don’t really care.”

“Ha-” Mitch tries to speak up.

“Let’s go.” Harry interrupts as he steps out of the car.

If Y/N wasn’t thinking of crying tonight, she sure is when she gets home. Sarah softly mouths a sorry as the group walked in the club together.

~

TAO was the hotspot tonight and the room was on fire. The group was together earlier sipping on their drinks but as the night kept going, Jeff, Glenne, Ny and Charlotte decided to hit the dance floor leaving the rest at the table hanging out. As Y/N was coming back from the washroom to the table in the VIP area, she could hear their conversation.

-

“Harry, you know Sarah wasn’t asking you to babysit her. More of just talking to her and keeping an eye on her.” Mitch reasons as the man he was talking to kept staring at his drink.

“Well it doesn’t matter. I didn’t want to do it and I still don’t.”

“You know I was thinking, she may have a crush on you.” Adam teases as Mitch and Sarah laugh. “I mean every time I’m hanging out with you guys at lunch or something, she always asks where you are.”

“Maybe, she’s just curious!” Sarah slaps the table at the obvious thought.

“No, it’s different! Trust me. For example, remember when we went out for sushi last week, she kept looking at Harry and the guy was on the opposite end of the table. I think she has a thing for you.” Adam playfully shoves Harry.

“Who wouldn’t have a thing for him, he’s Harry Styles!” Mitch laughs louder taking a sip of his vodka. He was already slurring.

“Y/N is not my type. First off she’s like 22, She just turned legal to even be here. Secondly, she’s too...I don’t know how to say it… soft? I don’t think we’re compatible I can’t stand her when all she does is talk about stupid things. I simply just don’t like her.”

“Harry!” Sarah scolds him as she feels offended he would say those things about Y/N.

-

“Hey, are you here alone?” A man seductively says as he stands beside her, watching the same table she’s looking at. “You must be star struck seeing Harry Styles here. He comes often.” He smirks. Y/N was barely listening to the unnamed guy as she felt tears start to fall from her eyes. As she wipes them away, she looks up to see just Harry at the table. The others must’ve gone to the dance floor.  Y/N walks back to the table, ready to grab her purse and leave. Her night was spoiled from the beginning because of Harry’s coldness but this was the last straw.

“Y/N, were you crying?” Harry watches the girl in front of him search for her purse in the booth.

“Hey beautiful, I didn’t even get your number!” The unnamed boy walks up to their table.

“Did you make her cry?” Harry stands up rolling up his sleeves. He angrily looks at the man. Y/N was so confused about why he was acting this way.

“What? No man. I saw her standing there alone for a few minutes. I’ll back off.” The guy steps back, looking back at Harry in shock. “No, I’ll come with you!” Y/N speaks up wiping away her final tears. “You’re not going anywhere,” Harry replies shortly, glaring at her.

“It’s my decision, not yours.” She replies with an attitude. Harry’s eyes soften as he realizes this is the first time she acted this way in front of him despite his coldness and attitude in the past months. He wasn’t stupid, he was acting rude on purpose despite it slowly killing him.

“Sarah told me to watch over-”

“You fucking said no!” Y/N slams her purse on the table in frustration.

“Alright, I’ll be downstairs, just look for me.” The guy widens his eyes as he leaves the pair alone.

“Well, I said yes now!” Harry looks over the empty drinks on the table in frustration. “Why were you crying?” He asks rudely again, almost as if he’s annoyed that her crying messed up his whole night.

“Fuck you!” Y/N grabs her bag and leaves. She didn’t notice by the time she was out it was pitch dark and Harry had followed her. “Leave me alone Harry.”

“You think I’m going to let you go home in that tiny dress. Fuck’s sake!” Y/N turns around to scream at him. She’s had it. These past months, she may have had a crush on Harry but tonight made her realize that he’s nothing but an asshole who likes supermodels.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now! What is wrong with you! You barely spoke two words to me these past four months and now you’re concerned about what I’m wearing? Fuck you!”

“Y/N…”

“I don’t want to hear it, okay?! I heard what you told the others at the table while I went to the washroom. I just don’t fucking understand why you hate me! You neve-” She was crying uncontrollably as her body started shaking. Harry without another thought, took her in his arms for the first time.

“I’m sorry okay, I’m sorry.” He whispers as he rubs her back.

“You never gave me a chance and you knew I liked you! I put a stupid crumpled wrapper in your jacket at Ny’s BBQ last month. I was fucking drunk and I was waiting for you to at least confront me about it. You never did!”

“You’re right. I saw the paper.” He pulls away and takes her hand instead so he can walk her to his car. As he opened the door for her and she got in. He texted the group chat letting his other friends know he left to bring Y/N home. He also texted his driver to pick Sarah and Mitch up when they’re ready.

“Are you okay?” Harry whispers as he watches the girl stare at her hands.

“I get it you don’t like me. Maybe, it’s best if I find a new friend group so you won’t feel annoyed.”

“I don’t feel annoyed okay?”

“Then why are you so mean?” She looks up to see him staring at his wheel blankly.

“The first time I heard about you, I was really excited.”

“So I wasn’t up to your expec-”

“No, you were. I think you were above my expectations. When I saw you for the first time, I got butterflies. I know it’s stupid but I just wasn’t expecting you to be so pretty.”

“You don’t have to pull shit out your ass Harry.” Y/N pouts because she remembered that day clearly as possible. He gave a short hi then walked away as if he didn’t care she was part of the friend group now.

“No, it’s true.” He bites the inside of his cheek then looks at Y/N. “I thought you were really cute and I don’t know I guess I freaked.”

“Why? You’re so famous, you dated supermodels before and you can’t even hold a conversation with me.”

“I’ve only been in one serious relationship. To be honest, when she broke up with me I- I just felt like I needed a break from love. Then you came and it felt like my whole past relationship didn’t matter anymore although it still does. I’m not over it and I don’t want to develop any more feelings for you knowing that.”

“Harry…” Y/N takes hold of his hand out of his lap. “It’s not fair that you had to push me away without saying anything. I don’t even care if you liked me or not. I just wished you didn’t have to hurt me all the time.”

“I know.”

After that night, Harry expected Y/N to be more present during their group hangouts. He was no longer feeling restricted or uncomfortable with her because she knew the truth of how he felt. Although he was still nervous about seeing her again, he knew he would make it up to her so she can see who he truly is. He’s not a bad guy, he’s just been hurt way too many times.

But as time kept going and schedules got busier, Y/N stopped showing her face in the group. She had excuses lined up for each night and Harry was now the one who kept asking where she was. As his heart started to mend, her’s started to change a little blue.

Part 2!

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

princess-nazario:

It's ok, thanks for clearing things up. See, everytime theres a post that might just be different the tumblr-fad! Version you speak or questions how tumblr might be romanticizing them theres always annoying people in the replies saying that theres a version where she wanders down the underworld herself, or that the version where shes kidnapped is...weak or a damsel in distress since it doesnt fit into tumblrs made idea of empowerment?? Its so annoying honestly. I saw this kind of stuff in a lot of posts while exploring the greek myth tag and its just... infuriating. I definitely should ignore them but it seriously makes me kind of sad and angry at the same time? The hades and persephone posts are everything(mostly tumblr-fad!) Version I reread your original post and yes I do agree, tumblr-fad! Persephone does take away a lot of the complexities and archetypes I read you examine. I think Hadestown might portray Hades and Persephone's power struggle well, it doesnt completely ignore the implications its giving off for the sake of some romance. This is what tumblr is doing and it's really annoying. By doing this and reducing the characters here to simple boxes it's taking away your interest in the myth, I think that's what you meant? I think your study of Hades/the underworld being Persephones self, cthonic meaning "spirit of nature within, inner self" while I dont fully understand that's really cool. I especially dislike how woobified and depowered he usually is in the tumblr-fad! Theres a lot you can work with him as the antagonist in a retelling I think. In fact maybe itd be great to have a retelling that explores the power struggle between Hades and Persephone and shows how Persephone gets through adversity and becomes of equal power through oppressive authority? Thatd be really cool. Tumblr-fad! Version is the twilight of myths but kind of the opposite. In twilight, the author itself romanticizes the creepiness and power struggle that might be there between Edward itself(although Bella does have a lot of agency so I think that's why it resonated so much with female readers?) while the Persephone has a various amount of versions, most versions being she was kidnapped/abduction with many meanings and metaphors and allegories to things, and tumblr-fad! Version ignores nuance in favor of their ships. Thanks for being so open and honest about this, I honestly was stressed because I thought my response maybe being immature or uninformed might be irritating or annoying. I haven't been sneaking through your blog or anything like that, I just saw your original post in the goddess demeter tag so I searched up "Persephone" on your stuff since I was curious with what else you might have to say about it. I wish Tumblr could maybe bother to learn something called not everything is entirely not THIS thing or the OTHER and maybe do something different from what Hades and Persephone coming to be known as the peak of all love stories on the website.

@princess-nazario I hope you don’t mind, I copy pasted your last reblog into a new post thread because the last one was getting massive.

I think I’m starting to understand what you’re getting at regarding the perception of victims as “weak,” and it makes a lot of sense. Thank you for clarifying regarding the “damsel in distress��� trope because that’s when it clicked for me what you were talking about. I actually agree on that point, I think there is a tendency for pop feminism to kind of portray more vulnerable, sensitive or fragile women as less feminist, so I can see how you’re applying that to your views on how people on tumblr perceive the story of Hades and Persephone.

That said, I think you have a lot of different angles you’re looking at this whole thing from, and that’s great! However I think there’s so many subjects you are trying to tackle here that it seems like you are kind of are only half informed about, maybe from exploring discussions online. I think this is resulting in conclusions that are kind of confused and lacking in more solid foundations, if that makes sense. I think maybe you might benefit from exploring each element further on their own merits.

For example, did you know that there are a lot of different feminist viewpoints on Twilight itself? And not all feminists completely condemn it? In my opinion, there are a lot of things about Twilight to criticize, however there was a distinct element of hatred for the interests and desires of teenage girls involved with how people responded en masse to the Twilight phenomenon. I don’t think you were old enough to be directly familiar with all this at the time. I think a decent primer would be this video from Lindsay Ellis (tho please keep in mind that some of her most recent content is not for younger audiences). It doesn’t cover all angles of the topic, but it does give an alternative perspective in retrospect about the raging Twilight hate that swept through pop culture for a long time:

Also, there is a whole conversation to be had about the concept of “woobification,” and why that word exists, as well as how it is used in conversations about girls and women’s fantasies. The original post I made shows that I have my own frustrations when male villains and darker archetypes are whittled down to something seemingly non-threatening and “socially acceptable” myself (like...turning the beast into the prince in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast), but in my experience, people have often used the word “woobie” to describe any explorations of the vulnerability of these types of male characters when women do so because they find those men intriguing or attractive, and that can get kind of tricky because in many ways, those conversations can harbor a subtle resentment and shaming towards female fantasties, period.

I’m getting the impression that maybe there’s something about Hades and Persephone, or at least the archetypes they embody, that really intrigues you, but you’re not sure what you are supposed to think and feel about it from a feminist perspective. That’s ok, ultimately you’ll figure it out on your own. I can’t tell you what to think about the myths themselves on their own, separate from contemporary feminist media because that’s ultimately it’s own thing, and you can springboard your own perspectives and reimagining off of the original in any way that feels right to you.

 What I can do though, is leave you with some age-apropriate content that I was consuming at your age, as well as a link to a site that explores stories with similar archetypes that Persephone embodies. 

The site is called Girls Underground, and it explores and catalogues stories about girls who go on heroine’s journeys in the “Cthonic” context like I was talking about, as in exploring their own inner psyches through the experience of traversing a strange, scary, magical place. Sometimes these stories involve the trope of a spooky attractive male character who takes on an adversarial role that is sometimes also romantically charged, but not all of them do. I think the resources page may be of particular interest to you because it links to essays on subjects within this genre of storytelling. The Examples page has a ton of other stories not listed here that you can take a look at, however not all of them (but many of them!) are kid friendly.

Movies that I would recommend: 

Labyrinth (1986), which was my favorite film since early childhood, and is the reason I love these types of stories to begin with.

Legend(1985), which doesn’t depict a healthy dynamic, but is a great film and does have a big place in the general conversation about this type of storytelling.

Howl’s Moving Castle, either the book or the film. 

Pan’s Labyrinth is rated R for some gore and violence, and it has scary moments, but I think it’s fine for most teens. The character of Pan is not part of that whole “demon lover” trope because the heroine is a small child, but he takes on a similar role in terms of being a figure that embodies the underworld and thus a major part of the heroine’s psyche.

Honestly, I would consider Disney’s Beauty and the Beast (the original, not the live action remake) a good rendition. It was written by a woman.

Jean Cocteau’s black and white La Belle et La Bete.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, or a film adaptation of the same.

Rebecca by Daphne DuMarier, which is what my username is from. I’m fond of the Hitchcock film adaptation.

Honestly, the 2004 adaptation of Phantom of the Opera is...flawed, but it was my introduction to Phantom, and it’s a lot of melodramatic fun. 

It’s worth noting that in a lot of these stories, there are not perfect, healthy relationships depicted between men and women. There is cruelty, there is harm. But in many cases, that does not mean these stories have nothing to say about relationships between men and women, nor does it say that they are solely tales about abuse and we cannot find romanticism within them. Each story has it’s own flaws, it’s own strengths, hold deeper meanings beyond the surface. They contribute something distinct to a rich history of artistic explorations of the dynamics of power in romance and the female experience with our own desires within a patriarchal society.

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 Episode 12: “You Look Like You’re Having Fun”

My brain’s still kinda fried from the Sarazanmai finale, so my thoughts might not be super coherent or detailed this week, but I still wanna write up my thoughts on this new Fruits Basket episode, especially since it was even better than I expected it to be.

Thoughts under the cut. [Spoiler warning for the whole manga]

I think I’ve said before that by this point we’re in the midst of a fairly good stretch of episodes where the reboot is going to be very similar to the 2001 anime in what material it covers in each episode, and that continues in this one, as I figured.

This episode covers chapters 19 and 20 of the manga, which is the same as what episode 13 of the 2001 anime covered, and from what I remember of that version, the two versions are pretty identical in how they just adapt the manga 1:1, so there’s nothing particularly noteworthy there. I think episode 13 of the 2001 anime was one of the relatively few times where I think they actually did a good job of preserving the emotional depth and darkness of the manga, but I still think this episode did an even better job.

I’m kinda meh about the whole first half [since I’ve never really been the biggest fan of the part of the manga to begin with, which I’ll get into in a minute], but the whole second half with Akito was fantastic. It had been heavily teased at in some of the PVs we’ve gotten, but it still managed to be even more disturbing than I was expecting. It’s not like they added in anything that wasn’t in the manga [aside from a short flashback to that one time Akito had a mental breakdown and painted Yuki’s room black, which I don’t think had been hinted at this early in the manga], but it just executed the material really perfectly. [Though I think the bit at the start of the episode with Tohru seeing Akito’s car pull up at the school might have been a new scene]

The improved voice acting and animation really help drive home the extent of Yuki’s trauma in particular. Even though this is like the billionth time I’ve seen this scene in some form or another, it still kinda shook me, lol.

This whole part also really goes to show how important Tohru is as a person to Yuki, and also to all the other zodiac members in general. She’s someone that’s willing to stand up for him, and to give him happy memories to help outweigh his bad ones. Especially with his whole monologue near the end, I think the badminton scene is probably where he first becomes at least subconsciously aware of how he’s seeking out a mother’s love from her.

Come to think of it, it’s kinda funny how recently we’ve been in a bit of a pattern of going from a fun episode to a more dark one, and so on. It’s not a complaint or anything. I think it does a nice job of not spending too much time in a row on a particular emotional tone. And that sorta pattern should hold up with how the next episode is gonna be Ayame’s introduction, and after that we should get Momiji’s backstory and the grave visit.

And on the note of Ayame’s intro being the focus of the next episode, I’m still curious to see if they incorporate the part where Tohru and Yuki visit his shop in chapter 36 into it, or if they’ll just stick to adapting chapters 21-22 alone, and leave that other chapter for later. I don’t think it’d change much one way or another, but still.

Anyway I guess I gotta address the elephant in the room and say that I’m just not really a big fan of the material covered in the first half of this episode. I don’t hate it, but I just don’t like it as much as like 99% of the fandom seems to.

For one thing, that one Tohru-Kyo scene has always stuck out to me as being a little too . . . generic shojo romance-y for my tastes. It’s one of those few moments where the series unironically indulges in Kyo’s Bad Boy Aesthetic [tm] and it just doesn’t work for me. But I obviously get why lots of people love it.

The part that I’m more annoyed at is the whole sequence with Haru and Momiji’s outfits, and I feel like it’s something that I need to add a whole list of disclaimers to so that people don’t misunderstand me, lol. I just feel like it’s a really good example of how Takaya’s heart is genuinely in the right place when it comes to some of the more progressive sentiments in the series, but the specific angle she approaches certain things at leaves a really bad taste in my mouth, especially when you think about the story as a whole and how things end up.

Specifically I just have issues with how Momiji’s cross-dressing is handled. The part with Haru is fine and I definitely appreciate the whole point of how whether or not someone wears jewelry and piercings and stuff has no inherent bearing on their personality, though the whole bit with him dragging Makoto off to the bathroom, uh . . . maybe hasn’t aged well, lmao. But anyway, I feel like the whole thing with Momiji seems perfectly fine on the surface, but the more you think about it in the context of the whole story, the more it feels uncomfortable.

The message that he should wear whatever he feels comfortable wearing is completely valid, but I just dislike how the story goes about it by saying that ‘it’s fine because he looks good in it, and he’s going to dress normally when he grows up anyway’. There’s a lot going on between the lines here, but I just think it’s really shitty and deceptively regressive that they justify it by pretty much saying ‘don’t worry, it’s just a phase, he’ll grow out of it and dress like a “normal man” later on anyway’. Which is bad enough on it’s own, but then we actually get to see him grow up later in the manga and he definitely does seem to unceremoniously switch to more conventionally masculine fashion because . . . it’s what’s expected of him, I guess? It’s not like he ever seemed to lose interest in wearing feminine clothing, he just stops wearing it after he hits his growth spurt, and it’s framed as something natural and inevitable.

Even the sentiment of ‘he looks good in it, though :)’, in the context of the series as a whole, carries this uncomfortable undertone of ‘it’s fine because for the moment he’s short and looks sort of “like a girl” but once he gets taller and looks more “like a man” he’ll obviously start dressing like one’. It’s the sort of thing that seems like a genuinely progressive and accepting message about how we shouldn’t judge people for the clothes they like to wear, but if you look closely there’s an asterisk and a whole paragraph of fine text at the bottom of the page about how it’s actually only acceptable to cross-dress as a man if your body type, height, etc, make you look ‘like a girl’ in the first place, and that once you hit puberty you should dress like a man because feminine clothing ‘doesn’t fit you anymore’.

In general this series has some weird recurring hang-ups about the specific idea of ‘men wearing girl’s clothing’, to the point where it comes up in different ways with at least three different characters. I know it’s something that a lot of people in the fandom don’t like hearing negativity and complaints about, but I’m not gonna shut up about this, lmao. Y’all just have to deal with the fact that this series isn’t perfect and that I’m allowed to criticize it while also really liking other parts of it.

And on the general note of how the series kinda drops the ball when it comes to pretty much everything to do with gender presentation, this episode brings us another round of the fun game known as ‘the Fruits Basket fandom is in shocked-pikachu.jpg mode at the fact that pretty much every new fan immediately “““figures out”““ that Akito’s a woman’. I wonder what gave it away? Was it that unavoidably female voice? The feminine/androgynous character design that’s explicitly compared to Yuki who’s already meant to look like a girl [apparently]? The fact that we’ve only ever seen Akito wearing either the sort of kimono that at least from a Western perspective would seem very feminine, or this tight-fitting turtleneck sweater? The fact that she’s had romantically/sexually charged moments with at least one or two dudes, which for better or worse ends up making most people view her as being feminine? The fact that like 90% of the dialogue referencing Akito ends up not even using gendered pronouns in the first place? I wonder what could have possibly lead to people naturally assuming that Akito’s a girl and glossing over the, like, five lines of dialogue thus far that even use he/him pronouns toward her, lmao.

One way or another, Akito being a girl has always been the biggest non-twist of the entire series, and the fact that it’s so obvious and that the only reaction new fans have to it is pretty much just ‘oh ok I didn’t really think it was meant to be some kind of shocking surprise or anything’ really just spells out how it’s not even meaningful or interesting as a twist anyway, and that knowing about it from the start does absolutely nothing to hinder anyone’s enjoyment of the series. It’s honestly hard to even tell for new fans that we’re even meant to feel convinced that Akito’s a man, with how little effort the series ever puts into ‘hiding’ her true gender.

I probably sound angrier about this than I am, but mostly I’m just baffled that even though the manga’s been over for like 15 years, people still don’t realize how incredibly lame and shallow this whole plot point is. Like seriously, y’all, what could the reboot have even DONE to actually lead to it not being super obvious that Akito’s a woman? Unless they outright changed her character design to be a lot more masculine, the only thing they could have done would have been to give her a male voice actor, which was almost certainly never going to happen for obvious reasons. I guess what I’m saying is that it’s not like it’s the reboot’s fault that things turned out this way. There’s only so much they reasonably could have done. And even though I haven’t heard much of Akito’s new dub voice, I think Maaya Sakamoto actually does a very good job at sounding androgynous/masculine, and in general her voice work in this episode was really effective and disturbing. I think she’s one of the most masculine-sounding female VAs they could have gone for [aside from maybe someone like Romi Park or Megumi Ogata, but I don’t know if they would have fit Akito very well]. I guess it mostly just bugs me that people are blaming the reboot for something that’s 90% just them following the manga.

Anyway, in spite of my gripes [which are more about the fandom and the series as a whole], this episode was still super good in and of itself, and had some of the most effective voice acting and music that the entire reboot’s had thus far. It’s very obvious why new fans in particular would really really like this one, and for the most part, I do too.

Also, Haru t-posing when he sees Yuki and running over to tug on his shirt is still the most Iconic [tm] thing ever, don’t @ me.

[davidaccampo]

Breaking Down Comics

A friend of Amanda Donahue, one of my co-creators on THE MARGINS, asked me some questions, and they were so good I felt it was worth dusting off Tumblr to answer. Thanks, Nick, and I hope these rambles give you something worth your while! 

Below are Nick’s two questions and my VERY long answers.

Sooo, my first question would just be how you got into it. Is it your primary form of writing?

Great question. So, is it my primary form of writing? Hmmm. I just finished a commitment to a set of 4 interactive mobile game scripts that took up quite a chunk of the last few months. In that time frame I also released a one-shot licensed 22-page comic and a 12-page digital creator-owned comic. So, on balance, I don’t think it’s currently my primary form of writing, but it’s definitely my favorite form, and it’s a medium and industry that I’m both very familiar with and passionate about, so whenever I’m given the chance to write comics, I take it.

However, comics as an industry is a difficult one to navigate. With the two biggest publishers owning incredibly popular franchises, the prime means for writers to make a living on comics is to essentially write super-heroes that you don’t own. And that, in itself, is neither good nor bad. It’s just worth noting that if you want to make comics your primary form of income, then DC and Marvel are going to come into your orbit in some shape. And that type of writing will come with its own set of thrills and challenges.

On the flip side, creator-owned comics and graphic novels can be an extremely fulfilling creative experience, if financially tricky to produce and sell. But the comics industry is still intimate enough that you can find ways to make and sell your comics. There’s a lot more to talk about there with regards to distribution and comics retail, but that’s another conversation.

It’s also worth noting that while the prevailing understanding is that digital comics sell only a fraction of the numbers of printed comics, it’s also a very accessible platform. With time and effort, you can put a comic book out to a global audience.

I may have veered slightly off topic here, but I think the point I’m trying to make is: if you want comics to be your primary form of writing, they most certainly can be. And you can and will make comics passionately and whole-heartedly, and you’ll put them into the world.

But making a living off of them is much more complicated scenario and every creator out there will have different advice for you, but be prepared for an equation that’s pretty familiar to any who has ever freelanced: less control = more money. Generally speaking, of course. There’s always a Walking Dead situation, if all the stars align.

Oh, and I never answered the first part of that question — how did I get into it? I’ll try to bullet point my personal path, which is super wonky, but probably not much stranger than most writers.

It kinda went like this:

Dave’s Writing Career: A Timeline

I always loved comics. In high school, I even wrote and drew 80 pages of a comic that was a horrible pastiche of Marvel/Epic’s Elektra: Assassin by Frank Miller and Bill Sienkiewicz and DC’s The Question by Denny O’Neil, Denys Cowan, and Rick Magyar. However, in my 20s, I’d attend conventions and discover that I had no idea how to move from fandom into professional writing.

I went on to study English and Creative Writing, thinking I’d write prose novels.

Then I moved to LA and fell in with a crowd of Hollywood screenwriter types. I wrote a few screenplays with a writing partner, Jeremy Rogers, but when nothing really came from it, we decided to make our own short films.

We made 3 short films that went into film festivals.  At this point, I was tired of spending so much time and money making 10-30 minute films that didn’t result in much. We hatched a new plan: what if we availed ourselves of the iTunes platform and released an audio drama as a podcast?

Wormwood: A Serialized Mystery was the result. It allowed us to tell long, serialized stories, much like my first love: comic books.

Toward the end of the Wormwood run, an illustrator named Jared Souza contacted us. He’d adapted scenes from Wormwood into sequential art, and  was curious if we ever thought about turning it into a comic book. We jumped at the chance, and with Jared we wrote and drew an 12-page mini-comic that we printed and took to the San Diego Comic-Con. Hermes Press was interested in our book, and they offered us a deal shortly after the show was over.

From there, I kept thinking about what else I could do with comics. I partnered with Chris Anderson for Lost Angels, and we made another 12-page mini-comic as a sales pitch, and we were offered a digital-first deal with a new publisher, Comicker.

And it keeps going from there, but that is the long and windy road telling stories in a LOT of different formats, each with its own strengths and weaknesses. Learning the strengths of one format does help you to understand the strengths of another. For example, for Wormwood we could really lean into long, twisty passages of monologue because it was all about the actors’ voices. However, as soon as you bring that to comics, you realize the amount of word balloons those monologues would take would utterly cover up any artwork on the page. And so you adjust.

Which is a nice segue to your other question…

Secondly, I'd love to hear how you work things out. As far as layout in regards to story. The most challenging aspect for me is to convert my thinking from imagining in film to now these static images. Do you put a lot of thought into that area, or do you focus mostly on the story and then sort of work that out as you are getting it down?

My initial thought is: “I do both.” But let’s break those up.

In terms of static images: think about the key moments. The perfect still frame of film that sums up the core of a moment of story in your mind. You want to build out from there.

But almost more importantly: think about the gutters. The space between panels. The gutters are actually where all the magic in comics reside. I recommend reading Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud. McCloud is great for understanding how a reader processes the information when we’re as absorbing art in a sequence. And the key is the gutters: The narrative “time” between panels can last a millisecond or a millennium. And the reader understands that from the context. So you’ve got to figure out how much you can get away with in between panels.

A panel exists in one moment in time. One action can occur. Imagine a father and son playing catch. What’s the most important part of that scene? The father throwing? The son catching? That’s two panels. Or, it could be a wide shot of the two, the ball in mid-air, but that wide shot probably should take up as much space on the page as two close angle shots of throwing and catching.

So, you ask yourself: what’s the emotional context of the scene? Is it important to show the father about to throw the ball (perhaps metaphorically teaching his son)? Is it important to show the son catching that ball (perhaps showing the son absorbing the lesson)? Is the activity itself the most important part (the wider shot might work best). It really depends upon the what you want to get out of the scene.

Another example: A man sits in his living room. There’s a knock at the door. He answers. It’s his landlord.

How many  panels is that? The only concrete answer I can give you is that it’s ”more than one” — because the of multiple actions involved.

It could be two panels: 1) the man sits reading a newspaper, but his head is cocked because he’s JUST heard the SFX of knocking on his door. 2) he’s standing at the open door and the landlord is asking him for a rent check.

It could be five panels: 1) the main sits reading a newspaper. 2) We show the front door, with knocking SFX. 3) The man opens the door, but we don’t show who it is, building suspense. The man is nervous. 4) we reveal it’s the landlord, standing there, arms crossed and angry. 5) The landlord asks for the rent check.

How important is that scene to your overall story? Five panels is roughly a whole page. Do you want to spend a whole page to show that the man is late with his rent?

That’s brings us to the next part of your question, and the other aspect that’s really important to comics: page count.

Page count is crucial because of the amount of time it takes an artist to draw a page, and also because of the printing costs. A standard issue of a comic is roughly 20-22 pages. So you’ve got to start by knowing how much space you’ve got (some writers will refer to this as “real estate”).

As a general standard, I’m going to assume that you’re looking at a mini-series or story arc that’s probably 5-6 issues, at 20-22 pages per issue. That works for comic book issue publishing, and it collects nicely into a graphic novel.

Even if I know I’m writing a graphic novel (as we did with The Margins), I tend to think in those general terms because it helps me break the story down.

So, I might start by assuming I have 5 chapters that are each 20 pages. Then I figure out — where is the best place to end Chapter One? It shouldn’t just be a moment of pivot — a cliffhanger, something that pushes the reader to start the next chapter as quickly as they can.

I’ll use the film THE MATRIX for this example, but I’m doing this from memory, so this may not be the best story breakdown.

At first thought, knowing I have 5 chapters of 20 pages each, it seems to me a great end to the first chapter might be Neo waking up in his pod in the real world. I mean, you have to read Issue #2 if that’s where Issue #1 ends, right?

If that’s page 20, you now have 19 pages to get there. And you have to get through: Trinity and the agents, Neo following the white rabbit, Neo meeting Trinity, Neo getting a call phone from Morpheus, Neo taken by the agents and getting the tracker put in him. Neo getting the tracker removed. Neo taking the red pill.

That’s a LOT! (It’s probably more than 20 pages, but please bear in my I’m just using this as an example.)

Next I’d think about: how much real estate do I give to Trinity vs. The Agents. Maybe four pages. The first two are the fighting and running across the rooftops. The second two could be a DOUBLE-PAGE SPLASH (two pages that make up one giant image) of Agent Smith ramming his truck into the phone booth. That’d also make for a good title/credits page.

I can probably script that, but I first have to think if I can get though the rest of it with 15 more pages. Ack!

Luckily, the next bits contain a lot of conversations, so we can probably get away with 5-9 panels per page, lots of back and forth conversation, condensed onto fewer pages. And that’s key because we’re going to have to go to larger panels for key action sequences like Neo climbing out on the building ledge. Neo getting the tracker put into his belly.

To be honest, at this point, I’d probably have to rethink some of this — this feels like too much for 20 pages. But hopefully that example shows you how I approach the process. It’s basically taking the whole story and then breaking it into issue-sized chunks, then pages, then finally panels.

And as you think about panels, you do want to make sure you have a mix. Some kind of big splash page is important — it allows you to focus on the biggest moments, and it also gives the reader a bit of a chance to relax, slow down and take in the art. A sequential page can have more panels, but it becomes denser, and each panel can contain less information — one or two dialogue balloons, limited backgrounds, etc. The more panels, the less room and detail each panel can contain.

Personally, I like to think about most of my sequential pages being about 4-8 panels, peppered with one or two splash pages. I can bump up or lower the panel count as needed. If you start by thinking about 3-4 panels for big cinematic action and 5-9 panels for dense conversation or smaller actions, then you’ll probably find yourself with a decent balance through your comic.

Those are my long-winded answers. I hope this helps. There’s much more to talk about in terms of craft, but this covers most of what I think about when breaking down a comic book story.

[loughlinpatrick]

People Evolve – Writing Does, Too. So, What’s Next for Literature?

It’s time to write the next chapter of the story of literature. Photo: Nong Vang // Unsplash

Literature comes in many modes, modes which have been changing and adapting over millennia. We’ve had oral storytelling, the origin of many fairytales ingrained in our culture, written texts, which have contributed to the literary canon, and filmmaking, an extremely recent phenomenon when you consider all of human history but one that has definitely left its mark on our culture at large. As the methodology of literature has evolved, we’ve never entirely left any mode behind.

For example, oral storytelling has minted many ‘YouTube millionaires’ who’ve risen to fame through their use of the notable “story time” video format, which consists of them delivering (usually extremely exaggerated) stories about their lives to camera. So, when thinking about the future of literature, the question you should be asking isn’t “What will replace our current modes of literature?” but rather, “What new technology will complement these existing modes?”

The Answer Starts With Interactive Fiction…

Game on! Is the future of literature already here? Not quite… Photo: Florian Gagnepain // Unsplash

You might think the answer lies with video games, a format that has built upon filmmaking by adding a layer of perceived interactivity that makes players feel like they control the story. Many popular releases have taken this a step further in recent times, with the indie game ‘Until Dawn’ (2015) allowing players to achieve a range of possible endings, and more recent entries in the ‘Five Nights at Freddy’s’ (2014) series having “good” and “bad” endings. This style of interactive media allows consumers to feel more ownership over a particular narrative, but is the feeling of ownership among fans necessarily a good thing to foster?

This possessiveness over literature is one of the three main ingredients in “toxic fandom” according to media critic Rachael Lefler, who says possessive fans see media as “a territory or property they own.” In western culture, this can manifest as newly-hired female writers for the series ‘Rick & Morty’ (2013) facing harassment from fans who perceive them as “forced-SJW hires” who are ruining “their” show, as well as similar sexist harassment targeted at Marvel writers for a viral selfie.

Ahead of its time? ‘Perfect Blue’ (1997) explores toxic fandom in Japan.

Toxic fandom isn’t just a Western problem – similar issues occur with fan behaviour toward Japanese J-Pop idols. The anime-psychological thriller ‘Perfect Blue,’ (1997) which features a stalker tormenting and impersonating his favourite J-Pop idol, explores this issue in-depth as it pertains to Japan.

The level of interactivity applied to modern texts can also be harmful to fandoms, in that it can be difficult for fans to know where the interactivity ends. Netflix demonstrated this with their first foray into the interactive film genre, ‘Black Mirror: Bandersnatch’ (2019), which had some fans convinced that there was a sixth “secret ending” within the movie in addition to the five main endings that were known. The ambiguity led to many online fan communities wasting hours of their time looking for clues to the alleged secret ending; this was ultimately a wild goose chase which only served to make it even more apparent that the film did not function as a text with a satisfying and “complete” plot.

Great as a game — not so much as a narrative; ‘Bandersnatch’ fell flat for some ‘Black Mirror’ fans. Photo: Netflix

However, even with texts that are not inherently interactive, such as HBO’s ‘Westworld’ (2017) – itself a meta-commentary on the limits of interactive texts. The show employed a trans-media strategy that allowed fans to access “secret” websites belonging to organisations and characters in the show. These websites then contained clues as to what would happen in future episodes of the show, but this led many fans to obsessively analyse trailers and posts from Westworld’s social media accounts to find more clues and secrets that weren’t there. In both of these cases, the expectations of the writers and viewers didn’t match up, leading viewers to look for deeper layers of interactivity that didn’t exist.

A Healthy Author-Reader Dialogue is Key.

Dedicated fans want to add to the story! Photo: Kaitlyn Baker // Unsplash

The tenacity of consumers of media to run with a story and build upon it has been apparent for decades, with growing online communities allowing fans to discuss media and even write fan-fiction to add on to the plots of their favourite texts. Some of these fan-fiction works have even entered mainstream consciousness, with backing from legacy media helping to turn well-known fan-fiction into physical books and globally released films. Two key examples of this phenomenon are ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’ (2015) which was initially ‘Twilight’ (2008) fan-fiction, and the romance movie ‘After,’ (2019) which was originally fan-fiction about Harry Styles.

This tenacity of fans for storytelling is what helped the success of the comedy movie ‘Clue,’ (1985) based on the murder-mystery board game of the same name. The film had three different endings, with each cinema that showed it only receiving one conclusion. The film’s writers believed that this gimmick would allow “super-fans” to see the film multiple times, but ‘Clue’ ended up being a box-office flop. It was only through television re-runs that the film was able to build up an online fan community that enjoyed writing alternate endings and become the 80s cult classic that it is today.

Fans of ‘Clue’ who’d watched it in different places were very confused when talking about it!

So, we’ve learned that it’s crucial to balance the expectations of an audience with the ambitions of a work’s creator, and this is a lesson that I employed in writing my mystery-novel series, ‘Revenge in Ridgeview.’ My series contains three mystery novels, and in writing them, I communicated extensively with my audience (at the time: only my friends who I badgered into reading them). As I was releasing the books online with a chapter a week (on the very same platform where ‘After’ was first published), I was also able to engage with readers of my work from other countries. The dialogue I had with my readers allowed me to ask them questions at the end of the first book, a key one being “Who is your favourite character?” Then, (as all authors feed off your tears) I made sure to give that character a terrible time in subsequent books. Yes, I upset quite a few of my friends; no, I’m not ashamed.

The Future is Personalised.

Is this the future of literature? Photo: Markus Spiske // Unsplash

So, now we can answer the question we’re here to get to the bottom of: what is next for literature? Well, taking the lessons we’ve learned, we can see that the next mode of media will be something that relies on computers, as seen in the way video games built upon filmmaking. However, unlike video games, writers will likely want to take back some of the feeling ownership over their texts. So, in essence, the mode will be interactive, but in a way where readers don’t know that they’re interacting with it. How can we accomplish this? With personalised literature; you wouldn’t “choose your adventure,” the adventure would choose you.

Netflix and other streaming services are already in a unique position to make this happen; they’ve collected mountains of data from every single profile on their service: your watch habits, when you watch, where you watch from, and as seen in the aftermath of their ‘Bandersnatch’ experiment, they even store the choices you make when viewing their interactive originals, forever. So, what would this allow writers to do?

Well, we’ve already seen that demonstrated way back in 1985 with ‘Clue,’ where cinemas had alternate endings; Netflix could do the same thing, but this time, instead of showing a random conclusion to a viewer with no idea of how they would react, Netflix could instead determine the “best ending” for the viewer and show them that one. The company is already experimenting with this to a certain extent: Netflix presents the episodes of ‘Love, Death & Robots’ (2019) in different orders for different users.

Journalists can also take advatage of personalised literature. Photo: Mr Cup / Fabien Barral // Unsplash

Furthermore, while I’ve avoided discussing non-fictional literature in so far, the news media is also in a unique position to take advantage of our move toward personalised texts.

For example, BBC News has been trialling personalised articles – or “perceptive media” as they call it – on their website since mid-2012 in a bid to appeal more to young adult readers. These efforts have allowed them to add a local angle to specific stories with a national focus by using the user’s location, such as showing local crime statistics in an article that discusses national trends.

The BBC also experimented with reports covering developing stories by adding personalised summaries based on previous articles on the topic that a user had read; they quickly scrapped this feature because “participants quite rightly asked how we knew what they’d read.” So, not all personalisation is well-received – sometimes it’s just too creepy – but journalists should still experiment in this area.

The Discussion Continues…

Lights, camera, action! Let’s hit record on the next phase of literature. Photo: Thomas William // Unsplash

As I noted earlier, the delivery of texts will always adapt. We’ve had oral storytelling, writing, filmmaking, video games and interactive fiction, and it’s likely that next, we’ll have personalised literature. This next mode certainly won’t be the last, and it won’t come without flaws. There’s still an ethical debate to be had about whether these big companies should even have your data in the first place, and about how they’ll use it.

For example, could streaming services like Netflix edit out scenes featuring LGBTQI couples if they detect that a viewer is homophobic, and would it be ethical to do so? I used my dialogue with my audience to create a text that would challenge them, but services with a financial incentive (and lots more of your data at their disposal) may not have the same moral imperative. So, let’s start having that conversation, so we can make sure that the future of literature is a good one.

Update: My friends are still upset about what I did to their favourite character. The power of knowing your readers, I guess?

[fibula-rasa]

September 2018 in Review

You should all be proud of me this month, as I actually watched MORE than one movie made in this decade. There was little rhyme or reason to the films I watched this month. I was pretty scattered honestly and my viewing habits show it. I keep a full diary on letterboxd and IMDB.

A major highlight of September was TCM’s month-long series hosted by the African American Film Critics Association (AAFCA) The Black Experience on Film. I only caught a few of the films but went out of my way to watch the introductory conversations. TCM’s Trailblazing Women series with Illeana Douglas was a favorite feature of mine and I’d love to see even more hosted series for marginalized groups in film history. It might be too much to suggest Disability on Film… But I’ve been considering doing a blogging series on that myself!

The reviews below the jump are essentially transcriptions of the notes I took right after watching the films. They’re presented in the order in which I watched them.

Brigsby Bear (2017)

23 January 2017 | 97 min. | Color

When Brigsby Bear came out there were a number of people, in real life and online, who gushed about it non-stop. I was pretty wary to see it. In the past, often when people around my age pick out a new darling film or TV series, I’ve been burned. Sometimes it’s something cynically violent in a way that’s disturbing to overlook. Sometimes it’s something with too much ironic detachment for my taste. Or it’s something straight-up ableist, sexist, or bigoted. (How are we still traumatizing all “Strong Female Characters” in the 2010s. Come on.)

BUT, Brigsby Bear was really good!? I honestly wasn’t expecting such a heartfelt and humanist film. A modern comedy movie that has faith in the good of all people? Amazing. I hope that the success of this film can be the beginning of a new chapter of millennial comedy so we can wholly move on from calling cynical intellectualized bigotry humor.

I got emotional as the friendship between Spencer and James developed. Maybe because I’m a clinically strange person myself. I don’t always have the energy in social situations to keep my neurotypical mask on and when I show my actually autistic self to people it doesn’t usually go all that well. That’s why it’s a special, joyful moment to find acceptance. Brigsby captures this so well. That feeling where people suddenly like you for your weirdness, rather than getting aggressive over it, is like a psychological hug. Kyle Mooney’s portrayal of James in those moments of acceptance is very true to life.

It’s refreshing to have the tension of a comedy film built around a feeling that misunderstandings might make everything fall to pieces. And then the tension releases because everyone is trying so hard to be their best self and things get sorted. I’m used to this dynamic in quite a few old romantic comedy films, but it’s a strategy not employed all that often today. If this is where millennial art is headed I’m ready to take out the trash marketed to us in the last decade.

At first I was worried that this was going to be another early 1980s throwback nostalgia piece without the spirit of media it was referencing (yes, I’m already fatigued by this). That thought was dispelled quickly.

The casting is great. The use of Mark Hamill is particularly ingenious.

Where to watch: it’s currently on demand through Starz.

Perfect Blue (1997)

28 February 1998 | 81min. | Color

Perfect Blue is a must-see for giallo fans, I think. It was very cool to see a Japanese filmmaker create a giallo-inspired psycho-detective thriller and specifically to see Satoshi Kon’s take given his skill in weaving tales about identity.

Perfect Blue is a harsh criticism of Idol culture (and, more broadly, fan culture).

This film requires a huge content warning for sexual violence and assault. If I hadn’t been watching Perfect Blue in a theater, I absolutely would have had to pause the film and take breaks a few times. Which is why, if you haven’t seen any other Kon films, it might be best to start elsewhere–even though Perfect Blue was his first feature. My first exposure to Kon was a few years back with Millennium Actress (2001) and then Paprika (2006). Both are great for newcomers to Kon. Paprika is usually the easy to find. Tokyo Godfathers (2003) is also worth watching, but pretty far afield from Perfect Blue.

Now I’m not suggesting that Perfect Blue isn’t good. It’s great. It’s simply that it’s such an intense and potentially triggering film that it might put some people off Kon’s other work. That may well have happened to me if this had been the first Kon film I saw rather than my last of his filmography.

As with Kon’s other films, the animation is fantastic and imaginative. I don’t want to give too much away about the story, so feel free to ask if you need more specific content warnings.

Where to watch: This one’s not so easy to get your hands on. Your local library or video store might be the best place to look. But, GKids does have some theatrical screenings upcoming.

New Orleans (1947)

18 April 1947 | 90min. | B&W

I watched this film on TCM as part of the aforementioned Black Experience on Film series with AAFCA.

As it was a month-long series in September, I probably should have mentioned it sooner, but the whole series was fantastic. The critics offered useful context for all of the films. Given that the films elicit mixed responses and have complicated roles in cultural and social history, it was very cool to see people debate and disagree on the films. It was valuable to witness even the disagreements that weren’t all that complicated and more about personal taste than politics. With New Orleans for example, one of the hosts liked the film and the other disliked it, though both held an appreciation for it. More civil disagreement about films, please and thanks.

I liked New Orleans and am disappointed that I hadn’t even heard about it before. Although, I do agree with critic/host Jamaal Finkley that it’s a disappointment that New Orleans doesn’t provide any insight into the personal trials of the Black characters.

It’s always a treat to see Arturo de Cordova, but that goes double when it’s an American film where his role isn’t informed by Latin/Mexican stereotypes. This is actually one the more refreshing aspects of the film. The Black characters lack interiority and their struggles are left out of the film, but Louis Armstrong’s and Billie Holiday’s characters are average people and don’t hew to stereotypes. It’s not exactly a victory for representation, but it’s still an improvement.

That said, the music is great and I wish there were more of it. It’s well established in the film that New Orleans’ problems largely come from badly-behaved white people, which I appreciate. (Is that too real?) Arturo de Cordova is great as the romantic lead of the film. I only wish Dorothy Patrick had the charisma to seem like a better match for him.

New Orleans is definitely worth checking out if the progress of Black representation in film is of interest to you or if you have a special interest in jazz or New Orleans.

Where to watch: It looks like Kino’s DVD release might be out of print, so libraries & video stores might be your best bet. OR, you can wait until TCM plays it again.

The Boy (2016)

22 January 2016 | 97min. | Color

Sooooo depending on how long you’ve been following the blog, you may or may not know that I love horror movies and ghost stories and whenever those things meet. When I first saw the trailers for The Boy ahead of its theatrical release, it did pique my interest. However, that’s mostly because they made me laugh. I am not someone who’s creeped out by dolls though. If you are, I suspect this film actually might be scary to you.

The Boy has a solid premise. At first it reminded me of the story “Baby Doll” by Larry LeClair from the radio show Nightfall. (”Baby Doll” is a better story, FYI, and creepier.) Unfortunately, the execution of The Boy’s story was disappointing. The film drags when it shouldn’t and the flow of the lead character warming to the doll felt stilted. The Boy’s big reveal ended up feeling a bit cheap as a consequence.

That said, I had fun watching it. I got some good laughs from Brahms’ ghostly antics and the middle part of the film is chock full of them.

The house from the film is so beautiful. I can’t believe it’s in Vancouver. Or that it’s a location for Little Women (1994)? I somehow didn’t recognize it.

Whether The Boy is worth a watch is debatable. If you like Haunted Doll stories, the execution and ending might be unsatisfying for you. Maybe if you like the odd modern horror film that can’t embrace its own camp, The Boy would be perfect for you?

Where to watch: It’s currently streaming on Netflix.

Street Scene (1931)

5 September 1931 | 80min. | B&W

This movie was a good old kick in the pants.

Street Scene an adaptation of a Pulitzer-Prize-winning stage play by Elmer Rice. It depicts the problems of New York City tenement residents and their relationships with one another. Though this is a pre-code film, I still imagine there would have been notable changes for censors. That said, the film is still very… mature. Additionally, I’ve seen suggestions that the film we know today is a re-edit of the film for post-code re-release. Hoo boy, what that source material must have been then.

One challenge a lot of filmmakers have when adapting stage plays to film is avoiding static staging–as if someone simply recorded the play. Street Scene doesn’t fear this and I think it works out. Almost all of the film takes place on the stoop of the tenement. The building facade is a truly impressive setup for filming. The camera work livens up the visuals with tracking shots and unexpected angles not commonly seen in early-sound films. (Unsurprisingly, Gregg Toland worked on the film!)

The acting is fantastic and, as someone who has spent the lion’s share of her life in cultural melting pots, the atmosphere the actors create is very authentic. Frankly, after living in Brooklyn for five years (four years ago), some neighborhoods still feel like this–only the voices are Puerto Rican and West Indian instead of European. It’s fascinating to see those veins of permanence in a city that’s changed as much as New York has.

The story primarily focuses on one family. The matriarch (Estelle Taylor) is bored with her unhappy marriage and takes up with the man who collects payment for milk delivery. The eldest child, Rose (Silvia Sydney), is pursued by seemingly every young, eligible man on the block and her not-so-young and not-so-eligible boss. The only one Rose shares feelings for is her downstairs neighbor, an unemployed student, Sam (William Collier, Jr.), who also happens to be Jewish. There is plenty of external resistance to their relationship for anti-semitic and/or financial reasons. Rose’s misgivings are a little more complicated. She feels trapped by the neighborhood and is wary to tie herself down to her current status at so young an age, regardless of how she feels about Sam. In the end, Rose’s mother’s fate cements her own. You can’t help but feel for both of them.

In case you haven’t already gathered this, the film calls for a content warning for anti-semitism and the use of anti-semitic slurs. [Note for clarification: the film is not anti-semitic, a few of the characters are.]

Street Scene takes social issues head on and is a pre-code through and through. It’s absolutely a top recommendation if you like pre-codes. It’s also worth watching if you’re into New York City history or have an interest in film adaptations of stage plays.

Where to watch: This one is pretty easy to see, but I haven’t sussed out the distribution rights or home video releases.

I also watched the film Sanatorium pod Klepsydrą / The Hourglass Sanatorium (1973). That left me with too many feelings to put in an amalgam post. Once I sort through how personal I want to get in discussing the film publicly, you can be sure it’ll get its own post up here.

Last Month’s Review

[tychegulfoil]

Which brand of cordless drills is best for 2021?

Power tools are designed to complete projects for home improvement in less time and to maximize performance. There are several different types of power tools on the market, and although each has its own set of uses and benefits, they can be confusing for new homeowners.

Circular saw, Table saw, Drill/Driver, Random Orbital Sander, Jigsaw, Rotary Tool, Cordless Screwdriver are some examples of useful power tools.

It might be a little more expensive, but there is nothing wrong with paying more for a more effective product. People who use a heavy-duty tool such as cordless drills in Dubai on a daily basis should purchase these products because it better fits their needs and makes their job easier. Make an informed choice and choose the right cordless power tools for your needs.

In this blog, we will discuss the different types of Drills.

What is a Drill?

A drill is a tool that makes holes or drives fasteners using rotation or a chipping motion. It has a chuck that secures a bit, either a drill or a driver, depending on the application. A hammer feature is available on some powered drills. Drills, for example, cordless drills in Dubai differ in terms of speed, strength, and scale.

Different Types of Drills

Hammer Drill

Regular drill bits are used in the hammer drill, which can be used on stone, masonry, wood, and metal. Concrete is the only substance that cannot be drilled with a hammer drill.

Rotary Power Drill

Unlike hammer boilers, rotary power boilers are powered by air pressure. They are usually longer lasting than hammer drills and have three settings; drill mode, hammer drill, or simply a hammer that functions as a mini jackhammer.

SDS Drill

SDS is built for stone, masonry, and particularly concrete designed with special SDS drill bits. There are also SDS pads that can be chiseled, so substance layers such as concrete or cement can be removed. A special SDS chuck adapter is required for drilling in materials such as wood and metal.

Impact Drill

Impact drills have a revolving hammer and anvil mechanism inside instead of a forward chipping mechanism. The hammer hits the anvil vigorously as it spins, providing much more turning power than a normal drill.

Core Drill

A core drill is a drill that has been supercharged. It’s essentially a big motor that’s often mounted on a frame to keep it constantly when drilling. Instead of grinding out the entire space, it turns a core bit—a cylindrical bit that provides a core to extract. It does nothing but spins the bit. There are no applications for hammering, chipping, or walking.

Cordless Drill

These instruments are ideal for screwdriving but can also drill wood and metal. Although they are not suitable for drilling in concrete, cordless drills with an impact function can be used to drill in masonry. If there is no local power supply, the cordless versatility of these methods is a major asset.

A cordless drill in Dubai can be used anywhere, while a corded drill requires the use of an extension cord or connection to electricity.

Cordless drills in Dubai come with a variety of voltages, including 12V, 14.4V, and 18V. Higher-voltage drills are not only efficient with more features, but also they are larger and heavier than lower-voltage drills. Another benefit of using a corded power drill is that it provides more power at a consistent cost. This is the best option for jobs that require more effort and have a higher workload.

A cordless drill has the following applications:

Replacing the Screwdriver: To remove and mount screws, the cordless drill driver works counterclockwise.

Pilot Holes: Before inserting a screw into a wood surface that can break, use a cordless drill to drill a pilot hole. Wood splits can be minimized by drilling a pilot hole before inserting the screw.

Drywall Installation: When it comes to drywall installation, cordless drills come in handy.

Concrete: A cordless hammer drill is essential for bolting down any outdoor furniture to a concrete surface and for driving bolts into concrete.

Best Cordless DrillsBosch GSR 12V-15 Fc Professional Cordless Drill/Driver

With the Bosch Flexi-Click system, the Bosch GSR 12V-15 gives the tradesman or do-it-yourselfer complete versatility. This kit includes a basic 3-jaw driver chuck. The GSR 12V-15 FC enables a total of 16-steps or 22.5-degrees angle rotation around the drill-driver body when used with the Flexi-click offset angle and Flexi-click right angle attachments, providing the perfect grip position for tightening, loosening, or drilling holes.

With the various solutions available on one device, tasks in compact and difficult conditions, like screwdriver and drilling, can be easily performed in tight spaces or near solid borders.

Features

Comprehensive Flexibility: In any working scenario, the Bosch Flexi-click method offers the optimal solution. Flexi-click interfaces to suit adapters quickly, securely, and easily.

Simple to Use: For easy service, a delicate speed control switch is used. The Bosch Flexi-click adapters are simple to install and remove from the tool body.

Rotatable Chucks: In small spaces, rotatable chucks come in handy.

Angle Adapter: A combination of an angle adapter, a bit holder, and a chuck that can be balanced and locked in 16 different positions when on the drill, with 360-degree versatility.

Lightweight and Compact: For areas that are especially difficult to navigate, it has a lightweight design. The structure is only 132 mm long and weighs only 0.8 kg.

Light from LEDs: Integral LED light for lighting the work area in low-light conditions.

Milwaukee M18 Fuel Hammer Drill

The Milwaukee M18 Fuel Hammer Drill among the popular cordless drills in Dubai may appear modest, yet it packs a punch capable of handling virtually any drilling task. This unit is without a doubt one of the best options if you enjoy doing DIY on the weekends but need a large, durable unit with the convenience features that any weekend warrior would appreciate.

Although its diminutive size, it is powerful enough to be deemed a necessary item in the toolkit of a competent contractor. The right hand angle of the unit is excellently adapted to withstand the torque generated by the PowerState brushless motor, resulting in increased operating time and lower maintenance costs. Its durable, smaller, and lighter design makes it suitable for extensive building projects.

Features

Brushless Motor: Delivers up to 1200 lb-ft of torque with maximum continuous torque to complete even the most demanding tasks.

Battery Technology: The battery’s exceptionally packed design, electronics, and endurance provide more work per charge and over the battery’s lifetime than any other battery on the market.

Intelligence: Using entire system communication between tool, battery, and charger, provides improved performance and overload protection.

Maintenance: The motor itself helps to ensure more efficient use, resulting in less wear and tear and a longer operating time.

STANLEY SCH12S2K

STANLEY has established itself as a leading brand in the hand tool and power tool industries, setting the bar for quality in all we do. They have a longer and more compelling track record of providing hardworking, powerful, and innovative products to professionals, tradespeople, and consumers all across the globe.

The variable speed reversible cordless drill from STANLEY is low in power consumption, easy to maintain, and performs well. Because of its light weight and ergonomic design, it is comfortable to use for extended periods of time. The STANLEY SCH12S2K is ideal for repairing and refinishing industrial furniture, as well as drilling metal and wood.

Features:

20 Torque Positions: For precise screw driving into a variety of screw sizes, a 20-position adjustable torque control is available.

Two Speed Gear: Two speed gears are available at STANLEY SCH12S2K. This helps to change the speed of the drill according to the needs.

Lithium Ion Battery with Charger: The installation and removal of the Li-ion slide pack battery is much easier. The charger aids in the rapid charging of the battery. Two batteries are included with the STANLEY SCH12S2K.

Greatest Security: By offering maximum protection against dust penetration, enhanced sealing provides long tool life. The output air slots safeguard the users.

Ergonomics-based Design: For maximum user comfort, an ergonomic design with rubber over mold is used. It is necessary to acquire separate drill bits.

At Tyche Gulf, one of the leading tools suppliers in UAE, we spend more time working at the end of the spectrum with real users to better understand the expectations of an ever-changing environment and how well we can effectively deliver solutions for a safer, more productive workforce. Professionals have trusted Tychegulf for quality and performance on the toughest projects for years. Don’t settle for less when it comes to assembly tools, industrial tools, cordless tools, and automotive servicing equipment. As being one of the best construction power tools suppliers UAE, Our products are known for their small design, durability, precision engineering, and ease of use. Aside from our high-quality services, elements like our continuous growth rate, attention to client feedback, and ethical working procedures have helped us acquire and keep the trust of a huge number of customers.

[coldcomputersoul]

Marco vs. the Forces of Love Episode 9: Do I Wanna Know?

Summary: It’s a hoot and a holler when Star helps Marco to hide from Tom by taking him to her secret place. Meanwhile, Hekapoo’s job at the Magic High Commision gets complicated.

Star vs. the Forces of Evil belongs to:

© Daron Nefcy

© Disney Television Animation

[theme song]

ACT I

[The episode starts with Mrs. Diaz going upstairs to Marco’s room]

Mrs. Díaz:

[opening the door] Oh Marco: It’s time to wake up, as you know that early to bed and early to rise makes a dude healthy and...

[She sees Marco and the girls sleeping together in the same bed and gets shocked]

Marco:

[yawning] Mom, don’t you think it’s a little too early for… [he realizes that his mother caught him] Oh, crap… Alright, listen mom: It’s not what it looks like, I-I-I can explain it to you...

[Mrs. Diaz is too shocked to listen to her son so she stands still at the door completely silent]

Star:

[waking up] Marco, what’s all that noise? don’t you see I’m trying to… [she also realizes that they were caught] sleep… oh boy...

[In that moment, the rest of the girls wake up]

Jackie:

[yawning] Good morning guys, did you have a good sleep? because I… [she becomes aware of the situation] Oh… Uhm, good morning Mrs. D you… you have a lovely home I must say he-he…

Janna:

Well, this is awkward...

Hekapoo:

Yeah, perhaps we should have thought this through before…

[Mr. Diaz enters the room to see what’s going on]

Mr. Díaz:

Honey, what’s taking you so long? the breakfast is ready and… [he notices Marco and the girls] Oh no… [he tries to get a reaction from his wife] Honey? Are you okay? please talk to me...

Marco:

Dad, you don’t understand… There’s this demon guy that...

Mr. Díaz:

[holding his wife’s hand] Marco, please… we’re on the middle of a crisis here...

Marco:

But Dad, I’m just trying to explain...

Mr. Díaz:

Don’t… say another word please. We can discuss this later in therapy.

Marco:

But this is not my fault, I...

Mr. Díaz:

Marco!!! PLEASE... don’t insist. This is not the right time, okay? [grabs his wife’s arm] come on Angie, I’ll make you an iced tea...

[Mr. Diaz takes his wife downstairs. Marco hides his face under a pillow and lies down on the bed]

Marco:

[sigh] Great job Marco Diaz. You’ve really done it this time. Now we’re gonna have to go to therapy… again...

Star:

Marco, I don’t really know what to say. I think I speak for everyone when I say: We’re SO sorry...

Marco:

No no no, don’t apologize Star. None of this is your fault. I’m the one who let all this to happen and… I guess now I’m gonna have to live with it...

Jackie:

Listen Marco, if there’s anything we can do to help you, don’t be afraid to tell us.

Marco:

That’s a very nice gesture Jackie, but… this is something I gotta make it on my own.

Jackie:

Oh, don’t worry, we understand perfectly. Right girls?

Star:

Uhm, sure...

Janna:

Yeah, no problem.

Hekapoo:

After all, we don’t wanna get in the way between you and your personal problems...

Marco:

[looking down] Thank you for understanding...

[The girls get worried about Marco and try to cheer him up]

Hekapoo:

Hey, I’ve got an idea: Next time we can make the sleepover on my dimension.

Jackie:

Great idea Hekapoo, it will be the perfect opportunity for us to… know each other a little bit better. What do you think Marco?

Marco:

[uninterested] Yeah, whatever you say...

Star:

[grabbing Marco’s shoulder] Then it’s settled: Next time we’ll have a sleepover at Hekapoo’s house. I can’t wait for it...

Janna:

Oh, this is gonna be fun.

Marco:

[uninterested] Yeah sure...

[Cut to Marco walking to school with his hands on his pockets followed by Star, Jackie, Janna and Hekapoo. Star tries to break the ice and starts a conversation]

Star:

You know, last night I had this really strange dream where we were remembering things while commenting on them like some kind of recap...

Jackie:

No way: I had the exact same dream.

Janna:

I remember that Star got angry because we made some jokes at her expense...

Hekapoo:

...that was when you told us about that time you and and Star went to buy some drinks at the store...

Jackie:

...and Star got distracted with the fluorescent lights. Yeah I remember that too.

Star:

[sigh] Would you please cut it out? I know that I get easily distracted, you don’t have to shove it on my face every single time, sheesh...

Jackie:

Star, relax. We’re not judging you in any way...

Janna:

Yeah, don’t get so serious about it.

Hekapoo:

Nonetheless: Don’t you think it’s a bit weird that we all had the exact same dream at the exact same time?

Star:

Indeed, that’s something you don’t see every day. What do you think Marco? 

Marco:

I don’t know. I’m feeling way too overwhelmed to come up with an answer... 

Jackie:

Okay Marco, we all know that you’re not in the best mood right now, but come on, lighten up. 

Janna:

I agree with Jackie: stop being so grumpy. Do you think you’re the first guy who got caught by their parents doing something embarrassing? don’t be silly...

Marco:

[sigh] It’s not that I don’t appreciate your efforts to cheer me up, but right now I feel like I have all this weight over my shoulders between Tom, my parents… I just can’t take it anymore...

Jackie:

[holding Marco’s hand] But Marco: That’s where you’re getting it wrong. You’re trying to deal with all these problems all by yourself. We want to help you, but we can’t do anything if you keep pushing us away. Am I right girls?

Janna:

Indeed...

Hekapoo:

Absolutely...

Star:

I couldn’t said it better myself... 

Jackie:

You see Marco? We understand how hard it must have been for you to adapt to all these changes, but don’t forget that you’re not alone. [she kisses Marco on the cheek] Now come on, let me see that smile...

[Marco smiles as he sees Jackie’s calm expression]

Marco:

Thanks Jackie: You always know how to make me feel better...

Jackie:

It’s what I do... [winks at him]

Star:

AND... [grabs Marco’s arm] don’t forget that you also have me to cheer you up...

Janna:

And I’ve got your back whenever you want... 

Hekapoo:

If there’s anything you need, just give me call and I’ll be there for you...

[unbeknownst to Marco and the girls, Ludo is watching them hidden behind a bush]

Marco:

Girls, girls, It’s fine. I know you’re trying to help me, but I don’t want you to sacrifice your personal lives just for me. For example: Hekapoo, you have your job at the Magic High Commission.

Hekapoo:

Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ve already asked someone to cover my shift.

Marco:

[raising an eyebrow] You do?

Hekapoo:

Of course I do you silly human. I’m always prepared for situations like this.

Marco:

I’m glad to hear that, because I wouldn’t like to get in the way between your job and...

[Before he can finish that sentence, Hekapo’s phone starts beeping]

Hekapoo:

Excuse me Marco, but I’ve gotta take this...

Marco:

Uhm, sure… no problem.

[Hekapoo picks up the phone and answers it]

Hekapoo:

What is it Rhombulus? [gibberish sounds] You what?!!! [gibberish sounds] And what the hell are you doing there in the first place?!!! That’s not your job... [gibberish sounds] Yeah, I know that today is the deadline, but I specifically told you that I would take care of it… [gibberish sounds] Well, I don’t care if it was the Pixie Empress who asked you to advance the delivery date. She perfectly knows that right now we’re on the middle of a crisis and we have our hands tied… [gibberish sounds] Alright, alright, stop being such a crybaby. I’ll be there in a minute just… hold on right there, okay? [gibberish sounds] Relax, I’m not gonna report you… for now. [hangs up the phone]

Marco:

Is everything okay?

Hekapoo:

[sigh] Yeah, it’s okay. Rhombulus just made a big mess that I’m gonna have to fix. What else is new?

Marco:

Is there anything I can do to help you, or...

Hekapoo:

No, no, no, don’t bother Marco. I know exactly what to do, but I have to go right now… [she opens a portal]

Marco:

Well, in that case, good luck with that.

Hekapoo:

Thanks... [kisses Marco on the cheek] oh, and before I go… [she sends a photo using her phone] now, check out your phone...

[Marco checks his phone and sees a picture of Hekapoo lying on her bed wearing black lingerie, which makes him blush. This also somehow annoys Star]

Marco:

Uhhhhhh...

Hekapoo:

You can thank me later for that one. [winks at him] See ya...

[She enters the portal and leaves. Meanwhile, Janna takes Marco’s phone while he’s distracted]

Janna:

Let me see that...

Marco:

Janna!!!

Janna:

[watching the picture] Wow, talking about the right angle. I don’t think those legs can spread even further, right Marco?

Marco:

[taking the phone back] Give me that.

Jackie:

Uhm, I don’t want to interrupt you guys, but… We’re gonna be late for school.

Marco:

You’re right. Come on girls, let’s go.

Janna:

Whatever you say loverboy.

[Cut to Ludo watching Marco and the girls walking away]

Ludo:

Finally, this is the opportunity I’ve been waiting for… now it’s time to...

[He sees a dog growling at him]

Ludo:

Hey, calm down buddy. I don’t want no trouble with...

[The dog starts barking as he comes out from his hiding spot]

Ludo:

Okay, you asked for it: LEVITATO!!!

[Ludo uses his magic powers to make the dog float like a balloon]

Ludo:

Ugh, I hate the creatures from this dimension. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, [ehem] now it’s time to put my plan... [close up of Ludo’s eyes] into action.

[Cut to Marco and the girls walking in the school hallways. Star watches for danger at every corner while the rest of them just stare at her]

Marco:

Uhm Star, can I talk to you for a moment?

Star:

Not now Marco, I need to be sure we’re in a safe spot.

Marco:

Yeah, I get it. What I’m trying to say is that you could be just a little bit more subtle.

Star:

No problem Marco. Subtle is my middle name...

Janna:

Really?

Star:

Nope.

Marco:

The thing is: There’s no need for you to act like a full time bodyguard just because Tom is now after me. If something strange happens, we can contact each other by phone. Simple as that.

Star:

But Marco, don’t you get it? At this point, he must already intervened our phone lines. The only thing we can do to guarantee your safety is to remain as close as possible.

Marco:

Okay fair enough, but what if someone starts to suspect that we...

Star:

LOOK OUT!!!

[Star, Jackie and Janna hug Marco at the same time]

Jackie:

What did you see?

Star:

Oh, nevermind. It’s just a moth flying around. My bad.

Marco:

Uhm, Girls?

Star, Jackie & Janna:

Yes Marco?

Marco:

Would you be so kind to let me go? remember: [whispering] We’re in a public place.

Star:

[changing her face expression] Ohhhhhh…

Marco:

Yeah, you got the idea. Now hurry up before someone finds out that...

Brittney:

[o.s] In the name of all that’s good and decent, what are you guys doing?!!!

[The camera shows that Brittney is watching them with her arms crossed. Soon, the rest of the students are watching them as well]

Marco:

[deadpan] Aaaand... my social life is finally over.

Brittney:

Ugh, please tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing.

Janna:

It depends: What do you think we’re doing?

Brittney:

It looks like you’re about to make out in front of everyone. Disgusting.

Marco:

Brittney, this is all a huge misunderstanding...

Star:

Yeah, we were just protecting Marco from my evil ex-boyfriend who wants to... kidnap him, or something like that...

Brittney:

[sarcastic tone] That’s a nice story. Very believable.

Star:

[whispering] We’re in luck Marco. She totally bought it.

Marco:

[deadpan] She’s being sarcastic Star...

Star:

Really? Aw man...

[The girls let Marco go while more students gather around them]

Brittney:

People: THIS is the kind of behaviour that’s getting our country right in the gutter. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Janna:

Uhm excuse me, but have you ever heard about this little thing called “free love”? You judgemental prick...

Brittney:

Ugh, now you sound like a filthy hippie. That’s the kind of nonsense I would expect from someone like Jackie, but I thought you were smarter than that.

[Meanwhile, everyone around talks about the situation while Marco stares at the floor, embarrassed. In that moment, Ferguson and Alfonzo show up]

Ferguson:

What’s going on here?

Brittney:

What’s going on? I’ll tell you what’s going on: Your perverted friend right here is having a four way with Star, Jackie and Janna like it’s no big deal.

Ferguson:

[to Marco] YOU WHAT?!!!

Marco:

Ehem, before jumping into conclusions, I wanna make absolutely clear that none of this was my idea.

Brittney:

Knock it off Marco, not even my senile grandma would believe that.

Jackie:

[stepping up] He’s telling the truth Brittney. I was the one who allowed this to happen. [everyone gasps in surprise] If you have to blame anyone, that should be me.

Marco:

Jackie...

Jackie:

Don’t worry Marco, I got your back.

Ferguson:

[to Marco] Wow, wow, wow, slow down. Let me get this straight: You’re dating THREE girls at the same time… and they’re all okay with it?!!!

Marco:

Uhm, dating it’s not the term I would use, but...

Janna:

Actually: We’re four.

Ferguson & Alfonzo:

FOUR?!!!

Janna:

Yep. Unfortunately, she’s too busy with her work to be right here, but… here’s a picture of her.

[She takes Marco’s cell phone from his pocket and shows the photo to Alfonzo and Ferguson]

Ferguson:

Holy guacamole… she’s SO hot!!!

Alfonzo:

She’s like an RPG character, but in real life.

Janna:

I know right? and that’s not even the half of it.

Marco:

Janna, what are you doing?!!! You’re gonna get me into more trouble.

Janna:

Trust me, I know what I’m doing. [winks at him] 

Brittney:

I just can’t believe what I’m hearing right now. You’re actually encouraging this kind of behaviour?!!! You all make me sick to my stomach.

Janna:

And what exactly makes you so high and mighty? I mean, it’s not like someone is forcing us to be in this relationship. You’re just too closed-minded to understand our love.

Brittney:

But it’s unnatural!!!

Janna:

Is it Brittney? Or maybe you and your outdated viewpoints can’t accept the fact that we chose an alternative lifestyle so you want to shut us down. Yeah, real mature...

Brittney:

Don’t try to make me look like the bad guy Janna, it’s not gonna work this time. Everyone knows that I’m 100% right.

Janna:

Well, in that case: [close up to Janna’s face] Let’s ask what everyone think about this...

[The camera makes a long shot of the crowd before cutting to black]

ACT II

Brittney:

[crossing her arms] You gotta be kidding me...

Janna:

What’s the matter Brittney? Are you afraid to debate me?

Brittney:

Give me a break... No one with half a brain would support your crazy ideas. Just give up, you’re just wasting your time.

Janna:

Pfft, what a wuss. You just don’t want to debate because you know you’re gonna lose.

Brittney:

Ugh, there’s NOTHING to debate about!!! What you’re doing is disgusting and that’s it. End of story.

[Everyone around start talking while Brittney stares at Janna]

Star:

[to Janna] Okay, this is getting out of control, maybe it’s time to go to plan B.

Marco:

Plan B?!!! There’s no such thing as Plan B, don’t you get it? it’s all over. 

Janna:

[getting nervous] Marco, what did I just tell you? Let me handle this.

Brittney:

Yeah, perhaps you should listen to Marco and accept defeat Janna. You’re making a fool of yourself.

Janna:

What, because I stand up for friends? When was the last time you did something nice for someone other than yourself? or for that matter: When was the last time you did something for this school? and don’t start with the “my daddy makes donations” routine. That doesn’t count.

[The crowd is now talking about Brittney]

Brittney:

Well… I’m the cheerleading captain. I’m responsible to lead our team to victory.

Janna:

Oh sure, because that “booty shaking” strategy from last year was soooo effective.

Brittney:

And what’s your point?

Janna:

My point is: You should leave us alone and mind your own business.

[The crowd start taking again, so Janna decides to confront them]

Janna:

And as for all of you: How could you be so ungrateful to even consider to condemn Marco after all the things he has done for us? If it weren’t for him we wouldn’t beat Silver Hill’s swimming record at the presidential fitness test. The least you can do is to give him the benefit of the doubt.

[The crowd quickly agree with Janna’s point which makes Brittney upset]

Janna:

Besides, who wouldn’t want to date a guy like Marco? I mean, think about it: He’s kind, intelligent, athletic, not to mention very handsome too. What’s not to love?

Star:

Don’t forget he’s an excellent cook as well.

Jackie:

And knows karate...

[The crowd once again agree with Janna and the girls]

Janna:

Also… [seductive tone] that’s not the only good thing about Marco.

Sabrina:

[approaching Janna] What do you mean?

Janna:

Well, if you really wanna know...

[Janna whispers in Sabrina’s ear and she just gasps in shock]

Sabrina:

NO… WAY...

Janna:

Oh yeah, it’s true. [winks at her]

Marco:

Wait a minute: What did you tell her?

Sabrina:

Do you mind if I post what you told me on social media?

Janna:

Be my guest.

Marco:

Janna!!!

[Sabrina uses her phone to post a message on the internet. Then all the girls check out her phones and react to it]

Hope:

Oh my...

Leah:

This is just too good to be true...

Chelsea:

I know right?

StarFan13:

Marco is SO hot...

Ingrid:

[speaking in russian] I would love to be her bride.

Linda:

What a pro...

Chantal:

And does he really can last for THREE hours straight? 

Janna:

That’s not even the half of it.

Raya:

Is it true that he also has a huge…? uhm, you know...

Janna:

Now, that’s a very personal question… but the answer is yes.

[All the girls (except for Brittney) gather around Marco]

StarFan13:

Hey Marco, can I watch you and Star making out?

Leah:

You know, I’ve always kinda liked you...

Hope:

Do you think we can go out on a date one of these days? If you don’t mind of course...

Chantal:

Here’s my phone number. Just in case you wanna have a good time... [winks at him]

Sabrina:

I wanna know what it’s like to to be with Marco... 

[Alfonzo and Ferguson also gather around to talk with Marco]

Ferguson:

Dude, you gotta tell us your secret.

Alfonzo:

Yeah, what can we do to get chicks? please tell us...

Marco:

Guys, guys, please… I know you want me to help you to improve your romantic life, but to be honest: I’m just as clueless as you are.

[Meanwhile, Brittney gets mad as she watches all the girls flirting with Marco]

Brittney:

Well, I don’t care how allegedly good you are in bed, or how allegedly huge your… thing is… You’re still a loser to me Marco Diaz...

[beat]

Janna:

[smiling] Mmmm, Sure… [air quotes] “Allegedly”

[Star, Jackie and Janna laugh at Brittney’s comment. Soon everyone else starts laughing too which annoys Brittney]

Marco:

[thinking to himself] This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder...

[Cut to Marco and the girls having a picnic at the park]

Janna:

...and then she said: “you’re still a loser to me Marco Diaz”, that’s when everybody just laughed at her. I’ll never forget the look on her face, so funny...

Hekapoo:

Wow, that Brittney sounds like a total jerk...

Janna:

Yeah, but to be fair: it’s not her fault to be like that. When you’re rich and powerful you can become a jerk without even noticing. Right Star?

Star:

Tell me about it. I don’t wanna sound rude or anything, but there are certain people at my family’s inner circle that I just can’t stand because they’re SO obnoxious.

Marco:

I think you went WAY too far this time Janna...

Janna:

What are you talking about?

Marco:

You know, thanks to you, everyone thinks that I’m womanizer. Now I’ll have to live with that label for the rest of my life...

Janna:

That may be true, but look at the bright side: Now you have a group of female admirers. Isn’t that the dream of every teenage boy?

Marco:

But it’s already difficult for me to take care of all of you, and don’t get me wrong: I think you’re all wonderful, but… [sigh] I’m so exhausted. Perhaps it’s time to settle things right and take a decision.

Jackie:

That’s... very manly on your part. I hope you the best on your choice.

Hekapoo:

And just to be perfectly clear: Whatever decision you make, you’ll have my total support.

Janna:

Really? Too bad, cause I was starting to enjoy this, but it’s your decision so I won’t get in the way.

Star:

Neither do I, after all we’re still gonna be friends, right?

Jackie:

Sure...

Janna:

Of course...

Hekapoo:

Absolutely...

[awkward silence]

Marco:

Okay, no more beating around the bush, it’s time to decide: Uhm… I choose...

[In that moment, Hekapoo’s phone starts beeping]

Hekapoo:

[sigh] Can you hold on just a moment? [answers the phone] What do you want this time? [gibberish sounds] The royal library? [gibberish sounds] Yeah… [gibberish sounds] Oh, and the bookshelves just fell down without any explanation, right… [gibberish sounds] Do you have any idea how long it’s gonna take to restore the whole place? [gibberish sounds] Even if you use magic, it would take at least FOUR months of work to put it all back together… [gibberish sounds] Are you crazy? that’s not even in the budget!!! [gibberish sounds] And where the hell are we supposed to get a loan for that you moron? Don’t you think the current debt we’re holding is already bad enough?!!! [gibberish sounds] Look, just stay right there and don’t do anything. I’ll fix the problem all by myself... [gibberish sounds] That condescending tone it’s not gonna work this time. We’re gonna talk about this on our next meeting… [gibberish sounds] Look, I’m just gonna hang up, this is getting ridiculous... [hangs up the phone] I’m sorry Marco, but I have to...

Marco:

No, no, no, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize for doing your job.

Hekapoo:

I know, but I just can’t help but feeling guilty for making you delay your decision.

Marco:

Don’t worry about that. I can... wait a little bit longer.

Hekapoo:

You’re so considerate. Let me give you a quick kiss...

[Just when she’s about to kiss Marco. Hekapoo’s phone starts beeping again]

Hekapoo:

[groaning loudly] That IDIOT!!! Sorry, but I have to go right now...

[She opens a portal and quickly leaves]

Marco:

Poor Hekapoo. Her work at the Magic High Commision must be so hard.

Jackie:

And did you notice how stressed she looked? 

Janna:

Indeed, she was like a ticking time bomb ready to explode.

Star:

That’s pretty bad, but… I’m pretty sure she can handle it. I mean, come on: She’s been doing this for more than 700 years.

Marco:

I guess you’re right.

Star:

Besides, we have to take care of other problems, like: What are we gonna do with Marco’s parents?

Marco:

Oh right. I completely forgot about my parents.

Jackie:

So, what are you gonna do?

Marco:

Well, one thing’s for sure: I can’t go back to my house right now. It would be so awkward to be face to face with them. Can I stay with one of you just for a week?

Janna:

Sorry Marco, but I can’t invite you to my place. It’s being fumigated. Also, we’re staying at my grandparents house and… let’s just say they don’t take too kindly the visit from strangers. 

Jackie:

No problem: you can stay at my place as long as you want. I’ll let you use the guest room.

Marco:

Oh thank you, thank you Jackie. It means a lot to me...

Star:

WAIT, YOU CAN’T!!!

[Everyone pays attention to Star and she immediately calms down]

Star:

I-I Mean… I know the perfect place where you can hide, so it would better for you to… stay with me...

Marco:

Are you sure about that? How are we gonna explain to your parents what’s going on?

Star:

That’s the thing: I’m not gonna take you to the castle. I’m talking about my secret hideout.

Marco:

Wait… this whole time you had a secret hideout?

Star:

Well duh, every princess in royal training have one. What are you ten years old?

Janna:

Did anybody else besides you knows about your secret place?

Star:

Well, there’s Princess Pony Head, but I swear: Absolutely no one else knows about it. Not even Tom.

Marco:

I don’t know Star. I appreciate what you’re trying to do but... I just don’t trust in princess Pony Head. I better stay at Jackie’s place.

Star:

B-But Marco, what about your personal safety? Like… right now, you’re being chased by Tom and… don’t you think it would be better if you stay with someone who knows how to use magic? just in case he finds out where you are.

Marco:

Mmmm… that makes a lot sense.

Star:

Yeah, and don’t get me wrong: I have nothing against you staying with Jackie, it’s just that she’s a bit… mmmm… how can I say it without being rude?

Janna:

Useless?

Star:

Yeah, that’s it. Jackie is useless for this situation. I’m sorry Jackie, but this is a magic emergency and...  I don’t think you could handle it properly.

Jackie:

[awkward expression] Uhm, sure none taken. I can... see your point.

Star:

Oh, I’m so glad that you understand. You know that in any other situation I would let you have Marco, I-I-I mean… take him to your place.

Jackie:

Yeah, don’t sweat it.

Star:

Great, [grabs Marco’s arm] come on Marco, I can’t wait to show you my room... 

Marco:

But wait, I have to go for my toothbrush.

Star:

Don’t worry, you can borrow mine.

Marco:

That doesn’t sound very hygienic...

[Star uses Marco’s scissors to open a portal]

Star:

Well, I guess we’ll see you on another time. Bye.

Marco:

Take care...

[Jackie and Janna watch Marco and Star leave through the portal]

Jackie:

[looking concerned] You don’t really think I’m useless, do you?

Janna:

[sigh] Look, if you think what I said was too harsh, I apologize, it wasn’t my intention, but...

Jackie:

But...?

Janna:

Star actually made a fair point. Right now Marco’s life is on the line and as much as I hate to admit it, she’s the only one who can protect him from that deranged demon dude...

Jackie:

I can understand that, it’s just that… I feel so powerless right now because I can’t do anything to help Marco. I wish I could be like Star.

Janna:

I know how you feel, and believe me: I would do anything to help Marco to overcome this problem, but in the end, we’re just a couple of average girls. The only thing we can do is give him our support. 

Jackie:

Yeah, you’re right. I guess I’m gonna have to learn to live with it.

Janna:

Well, in that case: welcome to the club. [gives her a pat on the back]

Jackie:

Thanks Janna.

Janna:

You’re welcome, and now if you excuse me: I have to go home before my parents ground me for being 5 minutes after curfew. See ya...

[Janna gets on her bike and leaves. Jackie just stares at the ground looking disappointed. Cut to Marco and Star arriving at some isolated place in the middle of nowhere]

Marco:

Okay, where are we now?

Star:

Outside the limits of Mewni. This part of the country is so isolated that you can’t even find it on the maps, isn’t that great? 

Marco:

I guess, but I can’t see anything. Are you sure we’re in the right place? 

Star:

Marco: I was born and raised on this dimension. I know exactly what I’m doing, okay? Now, follow me. I’ll take you to my secret place.

[Marco follows Star who just keeps walking in straight line for two hours]

Marco:

How long till we get there?

Star:

[looking at a rock] That’s odd. I don’t remember that rock. Maybe we should have go northwest...

Marco:

WHAT?!!! You mean we’re lost?!!!

Star:

Marco, don’t be silly. We’re not lost. I just need to remember we are we supposed to go.

Marco:

Well, now that’s just great. We’re in the middle of nowhere without any direction whatsoever. I’ll just use the scissors to get us out of here...

Star:

Wait, now I remember: We were supposed to go east. That’s why I can’t recognize any of this... 

Marco:

Oh, so now it turns out that we were walking in the opposite direction this whole time.

Star:

I know… crazy, isn’t it?

Marco:

[sigh] Now we’re never gonna make it before sundown.

Star:

Hey, what’s with that pessimistic attitude? Don’t worry Marco, I’ll get us out of here in no time...

[Star uses her wand to summon cloudy]

Star:

Ta-Da...

Marco:

[deadpan] And you didn’t summon cloudy 2 hours ago because...

Star:

[changing her expression] Oh… Maybe I should’ve thought of that before.

Marco:

[deadpan] Yep, you definitely should.

[Cut to Marco and Star arriving at a small grey tower in the middle of nowhere]

Star:

...and we’re finally here. Marco, I present to you: My secret spot. What do you think?

Marco:

It looks kinda dull, and don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad, but… It just doesn’t resemble anything from Mewni.

Star:

That’s the idea. I mean, who would imagine that this seemingly abandoned tower actually belongs to the princess of Mewni?

Marco:

That makes sense.

Star:

Yeah, and if that’s not enough. The tower uses a special magic force field that makes it look like it’s abandoned, but if you use the right spell… [raises her wand] DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH!!!

[The force field disappears and the tower becomes bright and colorful]

Marco:

[impressed] Wow, it’s beautiful.

Star:

Thanks. I made the decorations all by myself. Follow me this way...

[Marco follows Star inside the tower. Cut to Marco and Star walking through the darkness]

Star:

[clapping her hands] Lights on...

[The tower magically illuminates while the camera pans the entire room. There’s a king-sized poster of Love Sentence hanging on the wall, a jukebox full of Love Sentence bootlegs, a giant TV screen with microphones to sing karaoke, a photo booth and a lot of games]

Marco:

This place is so… AWESOME!!! So many games and there’s a karaoke and… look at this thing [pointing at the jukebox] just when I thought I would never see one of these again in my life. The only thing this place needs to be perfect is… [the camera shows a Love Sentence themed arcade] THE LOVE SENTENCE ARCADE GAME: AWESOME FEELING?!!! but only 5 of these were made and most of them are in Japan.

Star:

Let’s just say I have my contacts.

Marco:

[with hearts on his eyes] Star, I can’t feel my legs.

Star:

Oh, too bad. Because I was about to invite you to LOVE SENTENCE’S NEXT CONCERT!!!

[Star pulls three tickets to see Love Sentence out of her pocket]

Star:

Can you spell: Front row seats?

Marco:

Star: You’re the best.

Star:

I know. But enough about me... let’s get busy.

Marco:

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Star:

I guess so...

Marco & Star:

It’s KARAOKE TIME!!!

MONTAGE:

-Marco and Star sing karaoke songs while dancing to the music.

-Marco and Star play twister. Marco loses the game, but they laugh about it anyway.

-Marco and Star play in the arcade. Star asks for one more chance after losing twice in a row.

-Marco and Star have a pillow fight using Love Sentence themed pillows.

-Marco and Star have fun in the photo booth while cosplaying as the members of Love Sentence.

-Marco and Star watch some old Love Sentence concerts while eating ice cream.

[Cut to Marco and Star rolling on the floor laughing]

Marco:

Oh man, I don’t remember the last time I had this much fun

Star:

Yeah, me neither. We really need to do this more often.

Marco:

You know, it’s been a long time since we hang out together, like… just the two of us.

Star:

Hey, you’re right, I never thought about that before, but it makes me glad that we can still have fun together like in the good old days. 

Marco:

Remember when you use your magic to freeze time because you were afraid of getting late to school? 

Star:

And we goof around for a while until I decided to gets things back to normal, but it didn’t work so we had to go to that weird time dimension? Yeah, I remember that... and how about that time you taught  me how to ride a bike, but I was keep asking you to hold my seat...  

Marco:

Yeah, and I had to chase you all the way to the highway. Yeah, how can I forget that?

Star:

We’ve been through a lot together and here we are: Having a good time together. Maybe Starco is not as platonic as I thought after all... 

Marco:

You know, that little nickname you use to refer to our thing: It’s not as clever as you think it is...

Star:

Yeah, I know...

Marco:

So, what do you wanna do now? Play some more games? Have another pillow fight? Watch another Love Sentence concert?

Star:

Nah, I think I had enough games and songs for today.

Marco:

So, what do you have in mind?

Star:

I’m glad you asked. Follow me...

[Star takes Marco upstairs to her room, which has a giant bed full of stuffed animals and more Love Sentence posters hanging on the walls]

Marco:

Well, this looks nice...

Star:

And I haven’t showed you the best part yet… [raises her wand]

Marco:

Have you considered to make your next sleepover right here. I mean, this place is big enough to have at least 20...

[Marco turns around and sees Star wearing a blue tight dress along with high heels that accentuates her figure. Marco just blushes as he watches Star getting close to him]

Star:

Yeah, that sounds good and all, but I think having a secret place is far more romantic, don’t you think Marco?

Marco:

Uhhhhhh...

Star:

Well, what are you waiting for? We both know I didn’t bring you here just to play checkers. Here, let me show you how to do it...

[Star puts her arms around Marco.. he reciprocates and gives her a passionate kiss while grabbing her waist]

ACT III

Star:

[thinking to herself] Okay Star, this is your chance. Don’t screw it up.

[Star throws Marco onto the bed and gets on top of him]

Marco:

Star, don’t you think we’re moving too fast?

Star:

What are you talking about? We’ve already done this before.

Marco:

Yeah, but… I was hoping that today I could… you know… take a time off from doing this...

Star:

But that’s exactly what we’re doing right now, or is it because... you don’t want me?

Marco:

What? No, that’s not it. Of course I want you...

Star:

Then what are we waiting for? Let’s get down to business… [she tries to kiss Marco]

Marco:

But Star...

Star:

What now?

Marco:

It’s just that… Uhm… I… [sigh] nevermind...

Star:

You know, you’re acting very strange lately, but don’t worry: I know how can I fix it. [whispers in Marco’s ear] now, pull down my zipper.

Marco:

[looking uncomfortable] Okay...

[Marco starts pulling down the zipper from Star’s dress, when suddenly...]

Hekapoo:

[o.s] Enjoying the evening your royal highness?

[Marco and Star turn their heads and see Hekapoo in front of them with her arms crossed]

Star:

[getting out of bed] Hekapoo?!!! What are you doing here? And how did you find my secret spot?

Hekapoo:

Princess, I’ve been around for more than 700 years. I know this land like the back of my hand...

Star:

And how did you manage to get through my magic force field?

Hekapoo:

Oh please. I’ve using that spell long before you were even born, but enough about that: Just what do you think you’re doing right now? 

Star:

Uhm, we’re in the middle of something here, so… why don’t you go back to mind your own business?

Hekapoo:

And let you have Marco so you can take advantage? ah-ah. No way...

Marco:

It’s alright Hekapoo. We were just about to stop anyway, so...

Star:

Well, this is a new low for you. First you kidnap Marco for 16 years, and now you’re stalking him like a complete pervert. So do yourself a favor and stop being so petty.

Hekapoo:

Mmmm… Seems like you know about being petty, considering that slim bath you gave me three weeks ago at the Bounce Lounge, your majesty... 

Marco:

Okay Hekapoo, we all know about that awful incident and we all agree that was a dumb mistake that will never happen ever again. Right Star?

Star:

I know exactly what’s going on? You’re just jealous because Marco prefers to be with me and you just wanna get in OUR way.

Marco:

Or, simply don’t listen to anything I have to say.

Hekapoo:

Jealous, huh? Seems like you know all about that...

Star:

And what is that supposed to mean?!!!

Hekapoo:

As if you don’t what I’m talking about... [shows her cleavage]

Star:

Watch your words Hekapoo. Don’t forget who are you dealing with...

[Marco watches both girls fighting over him while trying to figure out a solution]

Hekapoo:

Unbelievable. It’s like you can’t wait to become queen to boss me around all day long. You’re so petty.

Marco:

[raising his hand] Can I say something?

Star:

Well, I’m least I’m not a cocktease.

Hekapoo:

Oh yeah? Well let me tell you something princess bitter-fly: I’d rather be a cocktease, than be a  phony, cynical, spoiled daddy’s girl who treats their boyfriends like merchandise.

Star:

[raising her wand] I’ll show you merchandise...

[Marco gets in between to stop the fight]

Marco:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. How many times do you have to tear each other apart over me? Don’t I have the right to choose?

[The girls stop fighting and stare at each other in silence]

Hekapoo:

You know what? You’re right Marco. There’s no point to start another pointless fight. Just tell us which one of us do you want to be your girlfriend.

Star:

Yeah, I agree. Come on Marco, tell this backstabbing boyfriend stealer to screw off...

Marco:

Uhm… yeah, I was about to get into that...

Hekapoo:

No, don’t do that Marco. Choose me and I’ll give you the sweet love of a woman...

Marco:

[thinking to himself] Oh boy, now I messed up big time...

Star:

Ha! You’re just wasting your time. Marco is WAY too smart to fall into that game of yours. Am I right Marco?

Marco:

Well I...

Hekapoo:

Oh, okay... so answer me this: What's with that skimpy outfit you’re wearing right now? because I don’t see any party near around this area. Do you Marco?

Marco:

Please, do not involve me into this...

Star:

Say what you want about the dress, but you can’t deny the fact that Marco loves to see me wearing it. [makes some poses for Marco] Do you like this, don’t you baby?

Hekapoo:

And then you say I’m the cocktease.

Star:

[getting angry] EXCUSE ME?!!!

[Both girls get into a heated argument while Marco puts a pillow over his face out of frustration]

Star:

You see what you did? Everything was okay until you came to ruin our fun.

Hekapoo:

Forcing someone to do things he doesn’t want it’s not exactly my idea of fun, and I’m pretty sure Marco would agree with me on that.

Star:

Oh, shut up you... Slut!!!

Hekapoo:

Brat!!!

[They aggressively stare at each other until Hekapoo’s phone starts beeping once again which makes her groan in annoyance]

Hekapoo:

[answering the phone] This better be good Rhombulus… [gibberish sounds] You what?!!!

[Her expression quickly changes from angry to concerned]

Hekapoo:

Okay, just... slow down and tell me exactly what happened… [gibberish sounds] Aha... [gibberish sounds] yeah… [gibberish sounds] and the crystal is fine, right? [gibberish sounds] You’re kidding me… [gibberish sounds] Hold on, are you telling me you’re holding the Espercrystal with your bare hands?!!! Are you crazy?!!! [gibberish sounds] No, I don’t wanna hear your excuses. You know perfectly well that you can’t mess around with that thing!!! [gibberish sounds] Okay look, I’m on my way, so keep hanging there and please, PLEASE don’t let the crystal touch the ground, otherwise the consequences would be catastrophic... [gibberish sounds] [sigh] Yeah, whatever… [hangs up the phone] Okay, I’m leaving for now, but don’t even think that this conversation is over… to be continued.

[She opens a portal and leaves]

Star:

Well, I’m glad that’s over… Now, where were we? Oh yeah, you were about to pull down my zipper...

Marco:

Uhm, Star? Don’t you think there are other things to be worried about? Like that crystal thing Hekapoo mentioned just a moment ago...

Star:

Oh, forget about that. She can handle it. Now kiss me wildman...

[Star tries to kiss Marco, but he turns down her affections]

Marco:

Stop that!!! Seriously… just… Okay, that’s it...

[Marco gets fed up with Star’s unwanted affections, so he throws her to the bed]

Star:

What’s wrong? You wanna do it with me, or not?

Marco:

Ugh, I can’t believe how shallow you’re acting right now. The whole universe as we know it might be at risk of disappearing, and the only thing you care about is to have sex with me. Keep your priorities straight...

Star:

You know, I don’t understand why are you making such a big deal out of this. I told you she can handle it. It’s her job for crying out loud.

Marco:

That’s beside the point. What I’m trying to say is that you’ve been acting strange lately, like... First, you take me to this isolated place to play games and sing karaoke, and then out of the blue you lure me into your room and force me to have sex with you. Is this your idea of fun? Am I just a joke to you?

Star:

Well, excuse for trying to give you a nice surprise. I thought boys liked this kind of approach. 

Marco:

I didn’t ask for any of this. I just wanted to spend some time with you without having to take off your clothes. You know: Like in the old days?!!!

Star:

Oh, so you’re admitting that you only want me as your friend, aren’t you?

Marco:

[sigh] That’s not what I meant. Stop putting words in my mouth!!!

Star:

[getting angry] So then what is it Marco?!!! What do I have to do to get your love?!!!

[In that moment, Star breaks into tears and turns her back on Marco]

Marco:

Star, I...

Star:

Go away!!! I don’t wanna hear another word from you...

[Marco gets worried about Star so he sits next to her to talk, but she tries to avoid eye contact]

Marco:

Star, I know that you’re mad at me and you have all the right to feel like that and all, but… I can’t help but think you’re missing the point of this relationship, you see: I don’t hang out with you because I only want to get into your pants, I hang out with you because I like you as a person, as a human being…

Star:

[sobbing] And what about the other girls?

Marco:

Although I do have feelings for them as well, the thing is: You and I have something more intimate. We’re like soulmates, “the other half” of each other. And that kind of connection goes beyond any sexual desire you can possibly imagine...

Star:

Am I that important to you?

Marco:

[grabbing her shoulder] Of course you are Star. Don’t doubt it for a second...

[Star looks at Marco’s candid expression and smiles while he wipes the tears from her face]

Star:

Thank Marco. You always know how to make me feel better.

Marco:

Hey, you don’t have to thank me. That’s what friends are for.

Star:

Yeah, about that… Can I ask you something?

Marco:

Sure, what is it?

Star:

[blushing] Have you... considered the possibility to become more than friends with me? I mean, we know each other for quite some time and... I always thought you were kinda cute...

Marco:

[blushing] Star...

Star:

[standing up] And it’s not like I wanna get in between you and... the person you’ll choose as your girlfriend, but… I want to think about my own happiness as well. That’s why I’m trying so hard to get your attention. You must think that I’m pathetic.

[Marco smiles as he watches Star opening herself to him, so he stands up and gives her a hug]

Marco:

You know I would never think of something like that. I care about you and I want you to be as happy as possible no matter what.

Star:

[blushing] I know that you do.

Marco:

And yes Star: I did consider the idea of you and I as a couple, but I was too confused and scared to make a proper decision...

Star:

Marco...

Marco:

But now that I know I can trust you, there’s no doubt in my mind anymore… I choose you.

[Tears of joy fall from Star’s eyes as she hears it]

Star:

[smiling] I’ve always dreamed about this moment ever since I met you. I promise that I will not let you down and I’ll do my best to be the best girlfriend you can possibly imagine.

Marco:

That’s all I needed to hear for now… I love you Star.

Star:

I love you too Marco.

[Marco gives Star a passionate kiss as he starts pulling down the zipper of her dress. Cut to the Magic High Commision having an emergency meeting with Queen Butterfly. Rhombulus is sitting in the corner looking at the wall as this happens]

Omnitraxus:

You wanted to see us, your majesty?

Queen Butterfly:

Yes Omnitraxus, please take a seat.

[Everyone except Rhombulus sits down on the table]

Queen Butterfly:

Okay, the first thing I want to address on this meeting is regarding our current magic crisis and how are gonna deal with it. As you know, the empress of Pixtopia recently stated her kingdom’s withdrawal from our historical trade, which will result in a massive shutdown of all our sources of interdimensional communication within the next few months. We have to come up with an alternative solution.

Omnitraxus:

I know, what about we buy tramorfidian crystals to Quest Buy in exchange of approve that safe harbor protection act to protect their business?

Hekapoo:

That’s not gonna work, I just went there last week and they told me they don’t have enough crystals to maintain the entire kingdom. Also, their staff recently unionized, so right now they’re not in position to make any big decision.

Omnitraxus:

Okay, and what about the Lucitors? Last time I checked they had plenty of magic energy we could use as a backup.

Queen Butterfly:

I thought the same thing, but our relationship with the Lucitors is very delicate since we relegate their domain to the underworld. If we ask them for a favor, we’re at risk of losing half of our territory in the best case scenario.

Rhombulus:

[raising his hand] Can I say something?

Hekapoo:

Shut up. Don’t forget you’re grounded for almost destroying the entire universe.

Rhombulus:

But it wasn’t my fault...

Queen Butterfly:

From what I see it, now we only have two choices: Either we declare state of emergency and risk to lose more approval, or we keep on relying on the Espercrystal to backup our line servers until the next magic convention which will be in 6 months.

Hekapoo:

But Queen Moon, the Espercrystal is too unstable to work with. It requires someone with a lot of experience and attention to detail to extract the right amount of power, and Rhombulus is just too clumsy to do it...

Rhombulus:

Hey...

Hekapoo:

Shut up.

Queen Butterfly:

That’s why I want YOU do it Hekapoo.

Hekapoo:

Me?!!!

Queen Butterfly:

That’s right. I know I promised you vacations from the next 2 months, but we need you right here. The fate of Mewni is in your hands.

Hekapoo:

Yeah, I understand, but what about my actual work? I told you can’t clone myself anymore.

Queen Butterfly:

I’ll hire a crew to help you with that. The thing is: You’re the most qualified person to do this. 

Hekapoo:

[sigh] I guess you’re right. I’ll do it.

Queen Butterfly:

Good, so we all agree that Hekapoo will take care of the magic crisis. In that case, the meeting is over.

Hekapoo:

[looking disappointed] Whatever, [whispering] goodbye to my free time with Marco.

Queen Butterfly:

Don’t be sad. You’re making a really important sacrifice and you’ll be compensated for this. Now, come on, let’s go to the cafeteria. Today’s lunch is on me.

Rhombulus:

Can I go too?

Hekapoo:

No, you have at least 3 more weeks of punishment left, so no lunch for you.

Rhombulus:

Oh, tartar sauce...

[Everyone except Rhombulus leave the room to have lunch. In that moment, a portal opens and Star shows up bringing a backpack with her]

Rhombulus:

What took you so long?

Star:

I had some important things to take care of, but anyway... [opens the backpack] Here’s my PS4 with all my favorite games, a music player with the entire Love Sentence discography plus B-sides and rarities, and bag full of nachos.

Rhombulus:

Thank Star. It means a lot to me and all but… I must say: The fact that you paid me to mess things up on purpose to maintain Hekapoo busy with work is... kind of a dick move. even for you.

Star:

Well, since I don’t have a dick, I don’t know what you mean by that, but thanks for your help.

Rhombulus:

You’re welcome…

MARCO VS. THE FORCES OF LOVE - EPISODE 9: DO I WANNA KNOW?

[garycdewitt]

comfortable dining chairs uk: How to choose perfect chairs for the dining room

The kitchen in every home is a whole world. Here are receptions of friends, family meals, sincere conversations are held.

It is very important that the atmosphere is conducive to cosy gatherings, and comfortable chairs for the dining room to play an important role in this.

At the same time, the entire interior should be pleasing to the eye and create a beautiful picture.

You also need to find furniture that will not break after a couple of years of operation. So a seemingly simple business sometimes turns into a difficult task.

Types of  Dining room chairs uk

Chairs differ depending on their configuration and are used for different purposes:

Stools do not have a back and armrests, and therefore are not the most comfortable option. But they are easy to hide under the table or in the pantry, and they help out great in a small kitchen.

Classic – comfortable products with back support, sometimes handles are added. There are all kinds of sizes and shapes, and therefore you can choose the right furniture for both a tiny room and a large dining room.

Bar bars are a must for those who have a bar counter at home. They are characterized by increased height, sometimes one leg is used as a support (as in the photo), in addition, they can often rotate around their axis.

Chair-chairs are an improved modification of the classic ones. They are distinguished by a high degree of comfort, which is ensured by anatomical shape, soft filling, and the presence of armrests. They are good only in spacious rooms since they take up a lot of space.

To understand how to choose the right type of furniture for yourself, you should analyze the initial situation and imagine how this or that chair will fit into your apartment.

Chairs seem to be the most ergonomic, but they simply cannot physically fit into a small living space, and you will have to stop at compact classic versions or stools.

The temptation to purchase an unusual, ultra-fashionable setting is very great, but you should not rush.

Do not forget about the main purpose of the subject: to provide comfortable support during meals. So it is still desirable to pay the main attention to the design features of the model.

Choose the perfect seat

Let’s talk about sizing first. The depth and height should be such that your feet, when you sit, stand on the floor at an angle of 90 degrees, and there is 5-6 cm of free space between the back of the knees and the seat.

This is necessary so that the blood circulates freely and does not cause constriction. The optimal depth is 40–45 cm.

In order to be able to adjust the height, take a look at the products with the “gas lift” system. It allows you to smoothly set the desired level by simply pressing the lever. This is especially true in families where there are small children, short adults, or vice versa, very tall.

The width of the base most often varies between 44-50 cm. If you are not miniature parameters or a person with a large weight is often a guest, you will have to select models with increased width.

The seats are classified as hard or soft. Each of the options has its own advantages and disadvantages:

Hard: do not differ inconvenience, since they do not contain filler or a very thin layer is provided. But they are durable and, as a rule, easy to take care of them (wiped with a cloth – that’s all). For dwellings where children or animals live – the most practical type.

Soft: suitable for those who are used to a long meal. You can sit on the chair with increased comfort due to a large amount of filler made of coconut coir, polypropylene, horsehair or other materials (natural, as a rule, are much more expensive). For convenience, you have to pay with the service life: it is less than that of the tough counterparts, due to the fact that the filler inside is knocked into lumps or pressed through. However, it can be quickly and inexpensively replaced.

Back

The backrest is necessary to relieve the spine while sitting. Be sure to “try on” the chair on yourself and estimate the height and angle of inclination. The backrest should preferably have a slope of about 108 degrees.

There are models with adjustable parameters. They are good because everyone can adjust them to their needs, regardless of weight and height.

The disadvantage of such products is the very presence of additional elements and mechanisms. They have a shorter service life than their non-adaptive counterparts, because something, but will surely break.

legs

Chairs have different configurations depending on the purpose and design. So, traditional wooden models are often placed on four supports, bar ones have one, and products with a metal frame can even rest on a frame.

The main thing to check its stability. The chair should not sway, and the legs should not move apart under the weight of the seated person.

In order not to damage the floor covering, special pads are glued or attached to the legs. You should also pay attention to their quality and strength of fasteners.

On sale you can find options with wheels, but this is a product for a big fan. The beam support and wheels make the kitchen furniture look like an office setting. And in families with small children, such a model will be traumatic.

Armrests

The armrests provide additional comfort and are conducive to a long stay at the table. At the same time, the presence of handles interferes with compact placement. Typically, such objects take up a lot of space and cannot be pushed under the table.

Choose comfortable material

The durability and appearance of the product depending on the materials used in production.

Wood

The most popular and versatile type. It is great when chairs are in harmony with wooden tabletops.

Whatever you say, but natural wood gives the room its own special atmosphere. Hardwood products (oak, beech, larch, yew, ash, apple) are durable, and the damaged surface can be restored.

Of the shortcomings, it is noted that a considerable weight and complexity of storage, because these models are usually impossible to stack.

Plastic

Contrary to popular belief, high-quality plastic is not inferior in strength to wood. And for the price, items with a modern design can give odds to other materials. Plastic is lightweight, easiest to carry from place to place and stack.

Such samples are most suitable for plastic and glass tables.

Rattan

Fashionable and beautiful wicker furniture will be an excellent alternative to plastic. Lightweight and environmentally friendly, it requires little maintenance. Such objects are successfully combined with a table made of wood, glass, plastic.

Metal

Frames are made of steel or chrome-plated aluminium. They are combined with almost any table, it all depends on the design of the seat and backrest.

Such structures are heavy, therefore, in order to reduce weight, the parts from which the frame is made are made hollow inside.

Upholstery

The seat, backrest and armrests can be upholstered with natural or artificial leather, fabric.

The former, of course, are preferable because of their ease of maintenance; it is enough to simply wipe them with a cloth in case of contamination. But such material is scratched and may suffer from careless handling.

The fabric looks “more comfortable”, but it is more finicky in use: it is difficult to clean and will have to be replaced periodically with a new one. Some types of textiles are treated with a special impregnation that repels dirt. The following fabrics are used for sheathing:

Microvolume (jaguar) – allows air to pass freely, and dust and dirt do not collect on it.

Tapestry – very beautiful and rich cotton fabric.

Flock – in appearance it resembles velvet, while it is easy to clean and does not fade.

You can sew removable covers on furniture, which can be easily removed for washing, and then put back on.

Dining room design

The purchase of a table and chairs usually takes place at the end of the renovation, when the finishing work has been carried out and the headset has been installed. It is very important that the purchased furniture is in harmony with the interior. It is not necessary to purchase a kit, you can pick up such a pair yourself.

In the classic interior of the dining room, richly decorated wooden samples will be appropriate.

Minimalism and modernity are well complemented by simple stylish wood products without unnecessary details. Also, plastic will harmoniously fit here.

High-tech hi-tech is emphasized by metal and plastic.

When decorating a room in Provence or country style, it is worth picking up objects made of wood, it is possible to use colored or artificially aged samples. For a country, an interesting solution would be to use rattan.

Now it is fashionable to acquire chairs of the same shape with different upholstery colors or painted in all sorts of colors.

These can be calm shades, for example, white and black, variations of beige or rainbow variety. The first case is appropriate for minimalism, modern styles, and bright objects will perfectly fit into country and hi-tech.

In Conclusion

The main rule to remember is that you need to choose a chair based on your own needs. If you are used to eating on the go, do not like feasts, then you do not need chairs. Functional classic chairs or stools are fine.

Consider the size and height of your family members and frequent guests so that everyone is comfortable. We must not forget about the size of the room and its design. Furniture should harmoniously fit into the interior and decorate it.

Have you found your perfect chairs? Tell us how and share your experience.

, http://www.thechairandsofa.co.uk/?p=7704

[satire-please]

My Teeth are like Swords - Part 2

Summary: (I’m tired and can’t transfer this in a way to keep my italics in dang it.) Tim is a detective...who lives with detectives. The other Bat's start noticing something different about one of their own. And Tim realizes that he can't hide forever.

Part 1

Dragon Tim on Ao3

Like finding gold dust on a blood moon, there are times Tim will hear about his Mother. It’s difficult to encounter another drake, they’re too rare, too widely spread that it’s a miracle that Tim has met two. But it’s always a surprise to hear that Janet Drake is considered a romantic, sentimental imbecile to other dragonfolk.

To mate with a human is one thing, but to shift and willingly live beside them in their pitiful metal ant hills? Preposterous.

And to carry young on that state? Inside of their own bodies instead of in a proper shell as hard as diamonds? Unheard of.

What foolish unnecessary risks.

Tim felt his core bubble in warmth whenever he hears such slander. That Mother would care that much. Once, he did approached her on the subject.

“I spent many centuries as a upstanding, model drake.”Janet sniffed disdainfully, steering Tim from a fuming man at one of Gotham’s many galas. The drake from the east is starting to show, smoke passing from his nose uncontrollably. How embarrassing, her Timothy showed more restraint when he was three. “Now I find it much more valuable of my time to do as I please. Besides, the fact remains that my line will continue to endure and adapt unlike most bloodlines that will taste stone and dust.”

Tim summed it up to, ‘I do what I want. Leave me alone or burn.’

She glanced behind her to give the man a subtle sneer. What a fool to think that she would accept such an inadequate betrothal for her son. And, to add insult to injury, the man’s daughter hadn’t even bothered to present herself. “A dragon is a dragon, Timothy. It doesn't matter if you are half, a quarter or only possess a single drop of our blood. Magic doesn't care. It will still take, you will still shift, you will still fly. And if those incessant pathetic hair ribbons say anything different, show them there are still ways to make a dragon fry.”

Tim loved his Mother.

It’s...a shame he’s the only one who knew how she died.

And it wasn’t from that stupid water Obeah left, no matter how traditional to dragon slaying poison is. True it weakened her to the point of inducing a death-like coma, but if Tim lifted an eyelid the iris would still flash and respond. If Tim pressed his hand to her chest, he’d still feel the hint of fire tucked within.

Robbing the cemetery had been a pain though. It’s not like he could just tell Dad that, ‘Um hey, mother’s not dead. No, I know she seems like she’s dead. Yes, I know she doesn’t have a pulse, but you see–’

Yeah, not happening.

He abused his connections for a nice cave carved out of the cliff face next to the manor. It’s not like Mr. Wayne was using it. It could be accessed from the rocky beach if necessary, the entrance tight until you were a couple meters in. Then it stretched enough for his mother’s body to shift unconsciously, so the dragon could heal and sleep in peace.

Tim had thought it was perfect.

It didn’t matter much in the end.

Not when Mother finally woke and could smell Tim’s lie about Dad. Not when she stopped eating. The young teen would find, hunt, and drag dead deer and antelope into the cave only to rot around her body as she stared emptily at the stone walls. She waited for death. Nothing could change her mind...no matter how much he begged and pleaded.

“Please!” He stroked her rough eyelid, thoughts racing for any excuse for her to stay with him. To not leave him alone. “Isn’t there something you still have to teach me?”

His hand falls away as a lazy violet eye cracks open. It’s bigger than his head and the pupil focuses so achingly slow. “You’ve known all since you turned twelve, my pet. Our race never repeats themselves, not with memories like ours.”

“B-But I need–”

“You have my hoard, you will not go without means. You have my brain, you will do well and even thrive. You have a territory, a perfect environment for your future form and most of all you possess a purpose to keep your heart beating. Even if it is as ridiculous as looking after those silly humans. I am satisfied...now let me die in peace.”

“No please, m-mother, stay with me.”

“Oh, my darling. One day you will understand. Our love...is a terrible thing.”

And with that she stopped responding. Tim reasoned, screamed, cried while the reflection of his distraught face became clear in those unblinking glassy eyes. His throat raw as he hit and scratched uselessly at the black scales going grey, like the ashy rock dripping behind them until the camouflage of her skin was truth and she was stone.

Like all dragons when they die.

That’s how Timothy Drake inherited Gotham, sobbing on his knees as the refuge became a crypt.

It takes several years before Tim raids another grave...his father’s.

After all, Mother would appreciate his skeleton crystallizing next to hers. She would have liked that.

Timothy still loves his Mother.

**

It's a slow night and Jason’s gonna explode. He's stopped four muggings, seven car thefts, and a couple of kids trying to make a molotov cocktail. Okay, Jason felt bad at stopping the last one, come on what is he turning into? A twitchy cop? Geez, let kids be kids and fuck the police. He’s about to shoot his own damn foot for some excitement when he sees something in the corner of his eye as he hits the next roof.

Oh-ho? In the curve of hanging gargoyles menacingly scowling at those is a hint of red that tugs a smirk on Hood’s lips.

Replacement.

Well, alright, he hasn't meant that name in a bad way for a while. It's not like Jay wants to carve a new one in Mr. Serious anymore. Sure, he’s an annoying prude with the biggest stick up his ass, hangin’ off Bats’ every word like the good guard dog, the good tool he is, but, hey, he ain't a bad guy. Saved Jay from enough pinches that he feels right and guilty about the whole almost bleedin’ him out thing. So he makes it up the only way he can..with tough love. Plus, the more Jay can shake that Babybird nice and loose, the better. He takes in the former Robin’s figure, how he’s hunched in upon himself. His head of black resting on his knees as the crouch tucks him right under one of the silent stone guardians.

Babybird snoozing on the job? Have some shame.

Not that Jay has any of that. He barely stops himself from snickering, giving himself away when the helmet goes static for it, and creeps closer. Close enough to get the best view of the little shit’s face. It takes a Bat to sneak up on a Bat, you know. A grin spreads wide on his cheeks as he pulls his gun from his holster (it’s only rubber bullets now, calm the fuck down) Then, he aims to the sky and fires.

The crack of the bullet gives Jay the most beautiful flinch and jerk you ever did see–

Boom.

–but the returning blast of burning hot possible death that floods the ledge is not.

It takes every scrap of speed he has to not singe his fucking eyebrows off. It’s more fire than force, but thank Batman for quick reflexes and the tell tale click near Red.

“What the hell, Babybird?” Smoke billows, curling around the two and Jason coughs, waving his arms madly.

“I could say the same for you, asshole.” In the black mess, a spark sputters between Tim’s teeth, just like an annoying lighter that flickers and hurts your thumb the more you try, as he tries to control his shaky breathing. Inhale. Damn, that really startled him. Exhale. His fangs sink into his lower lip, drawing blood over the rude awakening. He shakes his head like a dog, forcing what was sharp canines into blunt square human teeth. “Gunshot really? Gosh, you always have to be a dick, don’t you?”

“Do you always have to throw something flashy when ya wake up? Ain’t that Robin’s way?” Jason brushes his clothes, disgruntled. He didn’t see a flash grenade or anything, but Bats right? More prepared than a Girl Scout.

“Maybe.” Tim wonders how long he’s going to get convenient excuses.

“What? Ya sleep with them or something? Didn’t know ya needed a teddy bear, Replacement.”

Tim smirked, “Oh, come on, Hood, didn’t you learn to let sleeping dragons lie?”

“Ha, ha. Whatever, call it a night, you pyromaniac piece of shit.” Jason puts his gun away and fishes for a peace offering under his collar. He thrusts the white cigarette at the other, “Smokes?”

“Not right now, Hood.”

“Your loss, Replacement.” Jason lights it, dragging a puff to cover up a pout. Hmpf, stuffy princess. Doesn’t drink with him (I’m not legal to drink, Jason). Never smokes with him (We have set an example to Damian, Jason). Jay should be offended cause nowadays Tim carries the hazy scent round like a club’s perfume and Jay knows he’s hiding the good stuff somewhere.

He’s just never seen Tim do it.

Tim observes the turn of Jason’s mouth and jerks his head towards the street below, “Not smokes, but you hungry enough for hotdogs?”

“This is Gotham, baby, when I am ever not down for hotdogs?”

The two shoot their grappling lines towards a vendor who’s too used to this shit to give one. But as Tim rattles off their order, something itches at Jason. Something that’s off.

(The Gargoyle they left above bares new marks along its side. The side that Jason couldn’t see. They were not chiseled in, but Tim is sure most wouldn’t notice the new additions.)

Whatever.

He’ll figure it out.

**

Timmy’s been sleeping more.

Dick is so grateful he wipes at an imaginary tear, sniffs, and whips out his phone to snap a picture again. Tim doesn’t snore, but that’s definite drool on his chin, nicccccccce. Dick takes in the scene and gets another shot from a different angle. He almost has a full album now titled, Behold the Cryptid Sleeps, it’s only fair after all the pictures Tim took of them when he was their cutest little stalker. For now, Dick just calls it karma and texts Babs to back the good stuff up.

But, okay, Dick admits it’s starting to get weird.

And Timmy’s sleeping habits have always been weird. Before he had stolen Bruce’s crown and title of Sleep Dep King. Working on case after case, day after day only to finally pass out, usually with something like,

“How many days does it take to start hallucinating again, Bruce?”

“...Three.”

“Huh, so that’s why you’re purple with seven eyes.”

It usually takes a lot to get Timmy to crash and burn into a bed, usually (always) in the form of Alfred and good food laced with sedatives. It’s not that Timmy doesn’t know that they’re in the food, it’s just that no one says no to Alfred Pennyworth. No one.

But now it’s like Tim is on an egg timer and it’s wonderful.

After about 24 or 26 hours, against his will, Timmy starts swaying on his feet and lurches grumpily towards a safe, soft spot to snooze. True, Dick notes sometimes they’re odd places, like underneath the desk of the bat computer, nestled in much of the wiring. Or head resting on the kitchen table, his angry eyes drooping with, “I don’t understand. Coffee has failed me, Alfred.”

“Our bodies change over time, Master Timothy. One cannot expect caffeine to sustain them forever.”  

“You’re...lying. You did something to the coffee, admit it!”

“I have not...this time.”

“You must have I...can’t even–” But Tim doesn’t get to finish the response.

“Master Dick I believe Master Timothy needs to be escorted to his room. If you would–” Alfred leaves the sentence open, because anytime Dick can hold an unconscious, not struggling brother? You know he’s all over that.

Bruce has even started to prioritize breaks in the patrol schedule for Tim. Or, to be more accurate, he’s encouraging (enforcing) Tim to use the breaks that have always been there.

But…really the switch in the dynamic is kinda odd, especially when Dick finds Tim on one of the Manor’s couches after patrol, his skin paler than milk and shivering in his sleep. When the room is set to 75 degrees….and he’s under at least five blankets.

Dick pads over and cups the younger vigilante face in two hands. “Holy Batman, Timmy, you're as cold as ice.” His brow furrows when Tim barely responds to the statement, his eyes half open to blurrily peer at Dick. That’s not a good sign. Plus, he’s is not kidding. Tim’s skin is cool to the touch, it could compete with one of the dripping stalagmites in the cave.

“S’cold Dick…and tired.” The words push out of his lips clumsily. He raises his arms to grasp the Dick’s wrists as if he was going to push the hands off his cheek and then just forgot. The heat’s too inviting. “Just need sleep, m’fine.”

“I think you're a liar that lies, Babybird.” Dick leans back only to pull the covers off enough to slip beside Tim onto the couch. He tugs the boy in with an arm until Tim's head finds a comfy spot on his shoulder. Heck yeah, it's cuddle time. The best way to share body heat ever. He looks around the den and sees the remote for the T.V. It takes a few tries to stretch in a way to get it, especially without moving too far from Tim, but Dick’s not an acrobat for nothing.

Tim huffs a weary laugh against Dick’s neck, “Well, I'm the guy that lies to Batman, you know.”

“Shhhhhhh, he’ll hear you.” Dick pats Tim’s hair, starts clicking channel after channel (a thousand channels is just not enough) for something to watch.

“M’good, you can go.” Tim didn’t expect it would take so long for his core to normalize. Fire might smoulder under his breast, but damn it, it’s sucking most of the heat from his extremities. To his calculations, it may be months before his body can adjust to the change...if ever. Tim can already imagine the mountain of clothing he’ll need for Gotham’s winter. Mother got away with it by layering and calling in fashion. How is Tim going to spin it when he’s jumping off roof-tops fat with every wool item he can find? Oh. Or he could design heaters in his clothing. That could work. But still, this is the reason why most drakes live near volcanoes. Temperature regulation is a bitch.

Dick hums above him and breaks Tim’s line of thought. Oh well, he guesses he’ll stay here for a bit longer, just until he thaws out and stops being an Tim-icicle. It’s not that Dick minds, right? He fades away at the sound of a bad romantic comedy playing in the background.

He doesn’t see the frown on Dick’s face.

Or hear him quietly whisper into his com, “Alfred, could you run some tests for me?”

**

Alfred would have a conniption.

“Drake, you wretched slob.”

Damian must see to it that the competent butler never visits the former Robin. Ever. The man is old and truly must be spared from any health issues that may occur from witnessing this vile display of chaos. In fact, Damian wishes he could spare himself from the scene, yet Father did request him to fetch the evidence and Dick is off planet. How dare he.

Damian squints pass the entrance only to flinch back. There in the dark, two pinpricks of purple follow his every move...and hiss.

The Robin swallows and forces the door open all the way, allowing the dim light from the basement to flood the room. There are no light switches. It’s...odd. The boiler hums nearby explaining the heat that’s almost sweltering. Heaps of objects litter the floor, making narrow pathways here and there. Fortunately, food must be absent in the debris since the smell lacks rot. Instead what perfumes the air is what Damian associates with his predecessor, the smell of spices burned with a touch of something chemical. Gasoline, perhaps? Damian’s breathing finally evens out when he spots a mess of black hair poking out from a mountain of bedding.

Blearily, Tim focuses on the intruder. “Damian? What are you doing here?” he sleepily grumbles.

Though Grayson might find the tone endearing, Damian does not.

“I have come for the Spear of Enue. Father requires it and has requested me to retrieve it from you. He said it was in your possession?”

“B needs to leave my stuff alone.” Tim sits upright, staring emptily for a moment and clearly displeased about being awake. Then, with a groan he sluggishly works himself out of the bedding. “But a case is a case, I guess. Yeah, I have it, just give me a sec to get it.”

“The spear is here?”

A hum. “Sure, it is, why wouldn’t it be?”

Well, at least Drake seems more amenable when half-awake. Robin crosses his arms and strives not to look too haughty. Usually collecting data from the older vigilante takes more coaxing (threats) and persuasion (heavy bickering) to get the desired result. Perhaps he should lend his assistance.

“Drake, where are your lights? Two pairs of eyes would obviously be quicker than one.”

“Lights?” A confused tone. “Why would I need lights? I can see just fine.”

“Tch, I’m surprised you can locate anything in this outrageous dump.”

“Mother always said I was a messy hoarder, but I have a strong belief that mess is a matter of perspective. Besides, I know exactly where everything is.”

Tim slinks out of bed and makes his way toward a pile that seems to have earned the category of lethal and shiny weapons. Damian attempts to move towards the same direction, but his foot hits an item and he just manages to make the trip look intentional. Of course, Drake was not even looking. Wait.

“Drake, is that my katana?” He points to the hilt barely poking out from the bottom, half of the weapon slithering from under the bed.

It’s a silly habit that Tim can’t shake from childhood to put the most prized things under his bed, like the old cardboard box full of pictures, a few stacks of spanish golden doubloons marked from a toddler’s teething, a cursed ruby the size of a skull, you know the usual.

“...Yes?” Tim’s head bobs up from his search and glances over at the weapon. Then, he pauses for a moment or two, his expression shifting so fast (Mine, not mine, mine, not mine) that Damian cannot place it, “Oh, sorry. I guess you’d want that back. I mean, of course you do, it belongs to you, I only had it because you were gone and–”

Drake cuts off, making no movement towards the old katana. Damian reasons it must have been acquired while he was not among the living. He doesn’t know how to feel about Drake keeping that kind of memento, yet he notes there is a definite lack of rage that usually accompanies such a theft. In addition, Drake looks like a petulant child.

“It does not matter. I no longer require a child’s katana.” Damian waves a hand to the other heaps. “The spear, however, Drake, Father needs immediately.”  

“Right.”

It is then he notices Drake’s unusual attire. The vigilante groggily separates the pile for what Damian seeks in boxers and a baggy Gotham U sweatshirt that keeps sliding over a white shoulder. How peculiar, Drake never went to college so why...ah, yes, Dick. But what really has Damian’s brows rising is the two thick watches on Tim's wrist. One that he's definitely seen on his father once before and a glint of something shiny peeking from the sweatshirt.

“Do you often sleep in diamonds, Drake?”

“They're nice to look at before bed,” Tim muttered absentmindedly.

“Is that a slogan for this new fashion statement?” Damian walks over and curiously pulls down the collar to look at it more closely. Many of the gems are larger than an egg as they lace together in the metal filigree. It covers a wide band over Drake’s collarbones before cascading towards his sternum in delicate chains. “This piece is familiar to me. Drake, are these the jewels we recovered from Catwoman?”

“One, I demand the fundamental human right to always be pretty, witty, and gay. You’ll understand when you’re older. Two, I bought these from that auction fair and square, so Selina should have keep her mangy paws off them.”  

Suddenly, Damian remembers that specific tackle to take down the thief had been...more enthusiastic and vicious on Drake’s part. Usually Father is the one to handle any incidents with her, but perhaps all it takes is emotional investment to pin down the slippery woman.

Tim pries off Damian’s fingers only to press what he seeks in them. “Here, the spear. Now, get out. If you’re gonna mock and insult me, I want four more hours of sleep first.”  

The spear is heavy, but Damian manages with a tilt to this lips. “Very well, I’ll skin and eviscerate you later, Drake.”

Drake snorts. “And, hey, you have a spear and everything. All you have to do is be knighted and we’d have the perfect fairytale set up. Farewell, Sir Brat.” He waves to the door before collapsing onto the bed, preparing his nest the way he wants it.

Damian watches the ritual all the way to the door. Stops to take in the scene one a final time. It’s strange, but it does seem like a lair from one of his grandfather’s monster stories. Dark, warm like a breathing thing, full of hidden treasure...and danger.   

How right he is.

But he comes to the realization later...much later.

**

Bruce has seen a lot.

He’s fought aliens on ships millions of lightyears from Earth and tangled with kraken under the sea. He’s negotiated with Circe for Diana’s sake and fed viruses to ruin robot armies for Clark’s. He’s handled witches, sorcerers, and time-travellers from around the world. Every night he tries to plug one of Gotham’s bleeding holes as they gush out the vile and the crazy with the Joker, Ivy, Harvey, and more.

Bruce has seen a lot.

But the universe keeps surprising him one way or another. And sometimes? Closer to the heart then he expected.

“So, you’re the drake that rejected my proposal.”

“And you’re the dame that didn’t even bother to show up to make it.”

Bruces eyes flicker back and forth between his third son and the young, literally steaming woman in front of them. Her pale white hair whips behind her like something alive. The villain of the month does the same. Apparently, Gotham has the perfect waterfront property for the taking, especially with the leyline that cuts right through the city or so the warlock just finished monologuing about.

“What are you doing? I said destroy them.” The fuming sorcerer demands pointing at the Bat-clan. Golems rise in various stages around them being the only opponents beyond the man and woman. They’re all near the Manor by the beach, a few miles from the city but even with the home field advantage...Bruce feels a thread of concern to see Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian joining him to put their backs against the cliff face below his family home.

“Just a moment, Master, I have some unfinished business to attend to.” The woman raises a hand and starts to undo her cloak.

“Master? My, my.” Tim flicks his bo to the side. It’s not going to be useful here. Ugh, this is not how he wanted this to go. “Just how low has your line fallen? Mother was right to refuse to even consider you as a candidate. Do you follow his every command or do you just lick his boots?”

“How. Dare. You.” The woman’s eyes glow yellow and her voice’s pitch becomes grating.

Tim snorts. “Look at you. You can’t even control your shift….pathetic.”

“Red Robin, the situation, now.” Bruce tries striking another golem, but Tim ducks to put himself between the Bats and the newcomers.

“You judge me, when you wear human flesh so much that you stink of it? Your true scent barely bleeds through.” The odor of rancid sulfur strikes the air. The woman peels off her clothes, layer by layer until a pile litters the sand. “Half-breed.”

Rude. The human and dragon are both his scents. Tim thinks he smells fine, thanks.

“I said–” The villain tries to command but the dame strides towards Red Robin.

“How are you different from me? The warlock will save my line and give us power, but you? You play at human.”

“I do what I want,” Tim icily states. “Which is more that I can say for you. Now get out of my territory or burn.”

“No, I think I’m going to put a male in his place. Beneath me.” And the woman lets out a cry that turns into a roar. The other Bats watch as the woman’s form hutches over, makes a terrible crack and then grows. And grows. And grows. Scales take shape as her neck elongates and it’s sickening. Before them a white dragon rises and crashes a claw on the beach. It’s the size of a house.

‘Well…’ Bruce thinks. ‘That’s something new.’

“A dragon, come on. You have to be fuckin’ kiddin’ me,” Jason snarls, shooting at the beast. The rubber bullets do nothing but irritate the overgrown Godzilla-wanna-be.

“Wait, it gets better,” Tim mutters. “So, burn it is. This is why we can’t have nice things between dragons. What a pity...bring it.”

And there is a collective gasp.

Because Tim smirks and the beach is overcome with a violent blast. When the smoke clears...there’s nothing?

Nothing but the golems on the beach, the Bats fighting them and the warlock hissing out commands to a white giant worm, who is diverting much from his cunning plan.

But no Tim.

The white dragon shrieks in fury and raises her giant wings, preparing to crush those on the sand when something large slams into her side. She lurches over and peers over her shoulder. Nothing. But several of her scales are cracked from the impact.

Then, it’s as if thunder booms right in front of them, making their eardrums ring from the force of the sound. Under the blow, the white worm topples forward attempting to steady herself.

It’s shadowy and massive, a heavy body and the thumping beat of wings. It’s slowly moving into the moonlight on the beach, kicking up sand.

The Bats shields their eyes even with the whiteouts down, the gust knocking into kevlar and nomac. Nightwing automatically throws an arm out to keep Robin from falling; Hood makes an unconscious grab to the other arm.

And when he lights down, massive razor-tipped claws digging into the sand, the black scales and shiny leather of wings give the Bats one hell of an answer to all those burning questions.

Timmy’s always cold.

The cave, the hoard.

The night vision.

The ever-ready exploding “pellets”.

All of it comes to a sudden dawning realization.

The baddie of the night looks from one dragon to the other, trepidation leaking in because who would have thought two dragons at once.

Low muttering, winding a spell even as the new dragon throws back his power neck and roars. It shakes them down to their very bones, a sound unlike any they’ve heard before.

The shift of muscle, dark eyes narrowing, and the first lunge is punctuated by the abrupt cries of the Bats who have come to the realization this is one of their own.

But there’s no pause when claws come up to strike, when the first is a good one, raking into his side, putting his first blow into soft underbelly, close to the intended target.

(Only one way to kill a dragon, the heart has to go.)

“Motherfuck--Tim!” But Hood can do nothing but watch the blood, ripe and rich in the night splatter the beach, hoping stupidly it ain’t all Red’s.

“Get to the sides!” the Batman roars, already moving, already reaching for the next weapon in his belt.

He sees the opening when both dragons rear up on hind legs for the next blow, his gauntlet spitting out flash pellets.

It’s go time as the rest of the Robins take it all in and move. Robin pulls a duck and dodge through legs with a batarangs ready for the baddie on the other side.

Hood pulls a whole lotta how ya’ doin’ when the .45s spit a few rubber bullets right on the gouge marks, sliding through the sand as the bigger dragon leans down to latch teeth into Tim’s neck and hold the fuck on.

Nightwing leaps, even with the sand trying to bog him down, both sticks out in a double blow at the exposed weakness behind the white dragon’s ear. He has enough time to cringe at the sound of pain tearing into the night, to see the gleam of claws sinking into her belly in a knee-jerk reaction.

The fight going on behind them, the golem starting to shift and move at the sorcerer’s botched command, and Robin just breathes out a deep damn sigh because honestly, some of us have homework to dumb down. But he shifts, pulling out pellets in rapid succession as he moves closer to the army. The abrupt, “huu,” is just more proof he is a superior marksman. The mental note to pick up the tome from which those accursed spells emanate from is another task on the night’s to-do list.

The abrupt shock of Nightwing’s stick and the barrage of bullets takes its toll, getting the white dragon to jerk away from that black jugular, to rear back with pain.

The claws sink deeper, Red growling low, smoke curling from his maw. His eyes slide to the sides, making sure the Bats are out of firing range before he opens his maw with that familiar and suddenly very telling click.

“Down!” It’s Batman that throws the last exploding batarang within range to the white dragon’s injured belly, so the blast of burning blue flame ignites, sets the soft, vulnerable innards to char.

Red, however, takes the last blow for his own (because she picked the wrong fucking city, the wrong family, the wrong dragon to fuck with), claws sinking in, and the meaty thump in the center is just at the right place to reach.

Low and huffing, “try me.”

“You wouldn’t,” her voice cracks from agony.

“Threaten what’s mine, and I won’t think twice.” He gives just the smallest squeeze to punctuate the point.

“Better not fuck with him, bitch,” Hood’s voice, lazy through the synths while he eyes the army Demon is gonna be taking on, “he ain’t one ta joke.”

The white dragon growls and the iridescent black dragon can feel her tensing up as if to give her last hurrah, to go out with a bang, but he’s having none of that. He snarls, the sound deep from within his chest as he snaps his jaws just in front of the dame’s face, sparks clicking behind his gleaming ivory teeth. “You should know,” he practically purrs, “there are fates worse than death. Don’t. Push. Me.” His words, his threat (a bluff, shh), thankfully, gets the right reaction. She sags with a trailing growl, eyes glittering with malice and defeat.

“Go. Get out of my territory.” The words leave no argument.

“W-Who…” she spits blood, dotting the sand, “who would want...your...shoddy terr-territory anyway.”

Slowly, he retracts, pulling his claws back while the click echoes against the bluff, a warning and a promise. But the dame doesn’t move to start the fight up again. She needs time to heal the grievous injuries. The mage will earn his own fate.

“And now, next on the list,” Nightwing sighs, looking from the dragon to where Robin has starting whipping out the tricks and traps on the moving golem.

“By the way, Timmers,” Hood’s neck cranes as he look up at the massive face hanging low, the chest heaving with that little scuffle. “You ever think, hmm, I dunno to say you might be a motherfucking dragon or some shit? I mean, don’t they say that shit right off the fucking bat?”

The dragon huffs down at him as Hood holds up a hand to demonstrate, “‘nice ta meetcha. Name’s Timmy. Like long flights ‘round the beach, beatin’ the shit outta assholes, and literally roasting my enemies.

Ya know, just the usual shit for Gotham.”

[chellesbookreport]

comfortable dining chairs uk: How to choose perfect chairs for the dining room

The kitchen in every home is a whole world. Here are receptions of friends, family meals, sincere conversations are held.

It is very important that the atmosphere is conducive to cosy gatherings, and comfortable chairs for the dining room to play an important role in this.

At the same time, the entire interior should be pleasing to the eye and create a beautiful picture.

You also need to find furniture that will not break after a couple of years of operation. So a seemingly simple business sometimes turns into a difficult task.

Types of  Dining room chairs uk

Chairs differ depending on their configuration and are used for different purposes:

Stools do not have a back and armrests, and therefore are not the most comfortable option. But they are easy to hide under the table or in the pantry, and they help out great in a small kitchen.

Classic – comfortable products with back support, sometimes handles are added. There are all kinds of sizes and shapes, and therefore you can choose the right furniture for both a tiny room and a large dining room.

Bar bars are a must for those who have a bar counter at home. They are characterized by increased height, sometimes one leg is used as a support (as in the photo), in addition, they can often rotate around their axis.

Chair-chairs are an improved modification of the classic ones. They are distinguished by a high degree of comfort, which is ensured by anatomical shape, soft filling, and the presence of armrests. They are good only in spacious rooms since they take up a lot of space.

To understand how to choose the right type of furniture for yourself, you should analyze the initial situation and imagine how this or that chair will fit into your apartment.

Chairs seem to be the most ergonomic, but they simply cannot physically fit into a small living space, and you will have to stop at compact classic versions or stools.

The temptation to purchase an unusual, ultra-fashionable setting is very great, but you should not rush.

Do not forget about the main purpose of the subject: to provide comfortable support during meals. So it is still desirable to pay the main attention to the design features of the model.

Choose the perfect seat

Let’s talk about sizing first. The depth and height should be such that your feet, when you sit, stand on the floor at an angle of 90 degrees, and there is 5-6 cm of free space between the back of the knees and the seat.

This is necessary so that the blood circulates freely and does not cause constriction. The optimal depth is 40–45 cm.

In order to be able to adjust the height, take a look at the products with the “gas lift” system. It allows you to smoothly set the desired level by simply pressing the lever. This is especially true in families where there are small children, short adults, or vice versa, very tall.

The width of the base most often varies between 44-50 cm. If you are not miniature parameters or a person with a large weight is often a guest, you will have to select models with increased width.

The seats are classified as hard or soft. Each of the options has its own advantages and disadvantages:

Hard: do not differ inconvenience, since they do not contain filler or a very thin layer is provided. But they are durable and, as a rule, easy to take care of them (wiped with a cloth – that’s all). For dwellings where children or animals live – the most practical type.

Soft: suitable for those who are used to a long meal. You can sit on the chair with increased comfort due to a large amount of filler made of coconut coir, polypropylene, horsehair or other materials (natural, as a rule, are much more expensive). For convenience, you have to pay with the service life: it is less than that of the tough counterparts, due to the fact that the filler inside is knocked into lumps or pressed through. However, it can be quickly and inexpensively replaced.

Back

The backrest is necessary to relieve the spine while sitting. Be sure to “try on” the chair on yourself and estimate the height and angle of inclination. The backrest should preferably have a slope of about 108 degrees.

There are models with adjustable parameters. They are good because everyone can adjust them to their needs, regardless of weight and height.

The disadvantage of such products is the very presence of additional elements and mechanisms. They have a shorter service life than their non-adaptive counterparts, because something, but will surely break.

legs

Chairs have different configurations depending on the purpose and design. So, traditional wooden models are often placed on four supports, bar ones have one, and products with a metal frame can even rest on a frame.

The main thing to check its stability. The chair should not sway, and the legs should not move apart under the weight of the seated person.

In order not to damage the floor covering, special pads are glued or attached to the legs. You should also pay attention to their quality and strength of fasteners.

On sale you can find options with wheels, but this is a product for a big fan. The beam support and wheels make the kitchen furniture look like an office setting. And in families with small children, such a model will be traumatic.

Armrests

The armrests provide additional comfort and are conducive to a long stay at the table. At the same time, the presence of handles interferes with compact placement. Typically, such objects take up a lot of space and cannot be pushed under the table.

Choose comfortable material

The durability and appearance of the product depending on the materials used in production.

Wood

The most popular and versatile type. It is great when chairs are in harmony with wooden tabletops.

Whatever you say, but natural wood gives the room its own special atmosphere. Hardwood products (oak, beech, larch, yew, ash, apple) are durable, and the damaged surface can be restored.

Of the shortcomings, it is noted that a considerable weight and complexity of storage, because these models are usually impossible to stack.

Plastic

Contrary to popular belief, high-quality plastic is not inferior in strength to wood. And for the price, items with a modern design can give odds to other materials. Plastic is lightweight, easiest to carry from place to place and stack.

Such samples are most suitable for plastic and glass tables.

Rattan

Fashionable and beautiful wicker furniture will be an excellent alternative to plastic. Lightweight and environmentally friendly, it requires little maintenance. Such objects are successfully combined with a table made of wood, glass, plastic.

Metal

Frames are made of steel or chrome-plated aluminium. They are combined with almost any table, it all depends on the design of the seat and backrest.

Such structures are heavy, therefore, in order to reduce weight, the parts from which the frame is made are made hollow inside.

Upholstery

The seat, backrest and armrests can be upholstered with natural or artificial leather, fabric.

The former, of course, are preferable because of their ease of maintenance; it is enough to simply wipe them with a cloth in case of contamination. But such material is scratched and may suffer from careless handling.

The fabric looks “more comfortable”, but it is more finicky in use: it is difficult to clean and will have to be replaced periodically with a new one. Some types of textiles are treated with a special impregnation that repels dirt. The following fabrics are used for sheathing:

Microvolume (jaguar) – allows air to pass freely, and dust and dirt do not collect on it.

Tapestry – very beautiful and rich cotton fabric.

Flock – in appearance it resembles velvet, while it is easy to clean and does not fade.

You can sew removable covers on furniture, which can be easily removed for washing, and then put back on.

Dining room design

The purchase of a table and chairs usually takes place at the end of the renovation, when the finishing work has been carried out and the headset has been installed. It is very important that the purchased furniture is in harmony with the interior. It is not necessary to purchase a kit, you can pick up such a pair yourself.

In the classic interior of the dining room, richly decorated wooden samples will be appropriate.

Minimalism and modernity are well complemented by simple stylish wood products without unnecessary details. Also, plastic will harmoniously fit here.

High-tech hi-tech is emphasized by metal and plastic.

When decorating a room in Provence or country style, it is worth picking up objects made of wood, it is possible to use colored or artificially aged samples. For a country, an interesting solution would be to use rattan.

Now it is fashionable to acquire chairs of the same shape with different upholstery colors or painted in all sorts of colors.

These can be calm shades, for example, white and black, variations of beige or rainbow variety. The first case is appropriate for minimalism, modern styles, and bright objects will perfectly fit into country and hi-tech.

In Conclusion

The main rule to remember is that you need to choose a chair based on your own needs. If you are used to eating on the go, do not like feasts, then you do not need chairs. Functional classic chairs or stools are fine.

Consider the size and height of your family members and frequent guests so that everyone is comfortable. We must not forget about the size of the room and its design. Furniture should harmoniously fit into the interior and decorate it.

Have you found your perfect chairs? Tell us how and share your experience.

http://www.thechairandsofa.co.uk/?p=7704

[imotibg2015]

comfortable dining chairs uk: How to choose perfect chairs for the dining room

The kitchen in every home is a whole world. Here are receptions of friends, family meals, sincere conversations are held.

It is very important that the atmosphere is conducive to cosy gatherings, and comfortable chairs for the dining room to play an important role in this.

At the same time, the entire interior should be pleasing to the eye and create a beautiful picture.

You also need to find furniture that will not break after a couple of years of operation. So a seemingly simple business sometimes turns into a difficult task.

Types of  Dining room chairs uk

Chairs differ depending on their configuration and are used for different purposes:

Stools do not have a back and armrests, and therefore are not the most comfortable option. But they are easy to hide under the table or in the pantry, and they help out great in a small kitchen.

Classic – comfortable products with back support, sometimes handles are added. There are all kinds of sizes and shapes, and therefore you can choose the right furniture for both a tiny room and a large dining room.

Bar bars are a must for those who have a bar counter at home. They are characterized by increased height, sometimes one leg is used as a support (as in the photo), in addition, they can often rotate around their axis.

Chair-chairs are an improved modification of the classic ones. They are distinguished by a high degree of comfort, which is ensured by anatomical shape, soft filling, and the presence of armrests. They are good only in spacious rooms since they take up a lot of space.

To understand how to choose the right type of furniture for yourself, you should analyze the initial situation and imagine how this or that chair will fit into your apartment.

Chairs seem to be the most ergonomic, but they simply cannot physically fit into a small living space, and you will have to stop at compact classic versions or stools.

The temptation to purchase an unusual, ultra-fashionable setting is very great, but you should not rush.

Do not forget about the main purpose of the subject: to provide comfortable support during meals. So it is still desirable to pay the main attention to the design features of the model.

Choose the perfect seat

Let’s talk about sizing first. The depth and height should be such that your feet, when you sit, stand on the floor at an angle of 90 degrees, and there is 5-6 cm of free space between the back of the knees and the seat.

This is necessary so that the blood circulates freely and does not cause constriction. The optimal depth is 40–45 cm.

In order to be able to adjust the height, take a look at the products with the “gas lift” system. It allows you to smoothly set the desired level by simply pressing the lever. This is especially true in families where there are small children, short adults, or vice versa, very tall.

The width of the base most often varies between 44-50 cm. If you are not miniature parameters or a person with a large weight is often a guest, you will have to select models with increased width.

The seats are classified as hard or soft. Each of the options has its own advantages and disadvantages:

Hard: do not differ inconvenience, since they do not contain filler or a very thin layer is provided. But they are durable and, as a rule, easy to take care of them (wiped with a cloth – that’s all). For dwellings where children or animals live – the most practical type.

Soft: suitable for those who are used to a long meal. You can sit on the chair with increased comfort due to a large amount of filler made of coconut coir, polypropylene, horsehair or other materials (natural, as a rule, are much more expensive). For convenience, you have to pay with the service life: it is less than that of the tough counterparts, due to the fact that the filler inside is knocked into lumps or pressed through. However, it can be quickly and inexpensively replaced.

Back

The backrest is necessary to relieve the spine while sitting. Be sure to “try on” the chair on yourself and estimate the height and angle of inclination. The backrest should preferably have a slope of about 108 degrees.

There are models with adjustable parameters. They are good because everyone can adjust them to their needs, regardless of weight and height.

The disadvantage of such products is the very presence of additional elements and mechanisms. They have a shorter service life than their non-adaptive counterparts, because something, but will surely break.

legs

Chairs have different configurations depending on the purpose and design. So, traditional wooden models are often placed on four supports, bar ones have one, and products with a metal frame can even rest on a frame.

The main thing to check its stability. The chair should not sway, and the legs should not move apart under the weight of the seated person.

In order not to damage the floor covering, special pads are glued or attached to the legs. You should also pay attention to their quality and strength of fasteners.

On sale you can find options with wheels, but this is a product for a big fan. The beam support and wheels make the kitchen furniture look like an office setting. And in families with small children, such a model will be traumatic.

Armrests

The armrests provide additional comfort and are conducive to a long stay at the table. At the same time, the presence of handles interferes with compact placement. Typically, such objects take up a lot of space and cannot be pushed under the table.

Choose comfortable material

The durability and appearance of the product depending on the materials used in production.

Wood

The most popular and versatile type. It is great when chairs are in harmony with wooden tabletops.

Whatever you say, but natural wood gives the room its own special atmosphere. Hardwood products (oak, beech, larch, yew, ash, apple) are durable, and the damaged surface can be restored.

Of the shortcomings, it is noted that a considerable weight and complexity of storage, because these models are usually impossible to stack.

Plastic

Contrary to popular belief, high-quality plastic is not inferior in strength to wood. And for the price, items with a modern design can give odds to other materials. Plastic is lightweight, easiest to carry from place to place and stack.

Such samples are most suitable for plastic and glass tables.

Rattan

Fashionable and beautiful wicker furniture will be an excellent alternative to plastic. Lightweight and environmentally friendly, it requires little maintenance. Such objects are successfully combined with a table made of wood, glass, plastic.

Metal

Frames are made of steel or chrome-plated aluminium. They are combined with almost any table, it all depends on the design of the seat and backrest.

Such structures are heavy, therefore, in order to reduce weight, the parts from which the frame is made are made hollow inside.

Upholstery

The seat, backrest and armrests can be upholstered with natural or artificial leather, fabric.

The former, of course, are preferable because of their ease of maintenance; it is enough to simply wipe them with a cloth in case of contamination. But such material is scratched and may suffer from careless handling.

The fabric looks “more comfortable”, but it is more finicky in use: it is difficult to clean and will have to be replaced periodically with a new one. Some types of textiles are treated with a special impregnation that repels dirt. The following fabrics are used for sheathing:

Microvolume (jaguar) – allows air to pass freely, and dust and dirt do not collect on it.

Tapestry – very beautiful and rich cotton fabric.

Flock – in appearance it resembles velvet, while it is easy to clean and does not fade.

You can sew removable covers on furniture, which can be easily removed for washing, and then put back on.

Dining room design

The purchase of a table and chairs usually takes place at the end of the renovation, when the finishing work has been carried out and the headset has been installed. It is very important that the purchased furniture is in harmony with the interior. It is not necessary to purchase a kit, you can pick up such a pair yourself.

In the classic interior of the dining room, richly decorated wooden samples will be appropriate.

Minimalism and modernity are well complemented by simple stylish wood products without unnecessary details. Also, plastic will harmoniously fit here.

High-tech hi-tech is emphasized by metal and plastic.

When decorating a room in Provence or country style, it is worth picking up objects made of wood, it is possible to use colored or artificially aged samples. For a country, an interesting solution would be to use rattan.

Now it is fashionable to acquire chairs of the same shape with different upholstery colors or painted in all sorts of colors.

These can be calm shades, for example, white and black, variations of beige or rainbow variety. The first case is appropriate for minimalism, modern styles, and bright objects will perfectly fit into country and hi-tech.

In Conclusion

The main rule to remember is that you need to choose a chair based on your own needs. If you are used to eating on the go, do not like feasts, then you do not need chairs. Functional classic chairs or stools are fine.

Consider the size and height of your family members and frequent guests so that everyone is comfortable. We must not forget about the size of the room and its design. Furniture should harmoniously fit into the interior and decorate it.

Have you found your perfect chairs? Tell us how and share your experience.

, http://www.thechairandsofa.co.uk/?p=7704