#this is not rafe cameron and he did not need a love interest tbh

[itrainswhenurhere]

the fact that he looks more pissed off than hurt is speaking volumes

#whoremembers when kie betrayed him and he went BATSHIT and then forgave her the next time they talked cos i do🙋🏽‍♀️

[ahhnini]

better things - cheater!ex! rafe cameron x reader one shot

part two / part three

synopsis - after rafe cheats on you, he wants a second chance. unfortunately for him, you’re onto better things now

warnings - rafe is lowkey an asshole here, arguing, cheating ( i don’t condone it!! )

word count - 1.2k

likes and reblogs are appreciated!

ask box is open!

tbh i love when my interests mix so here’s some aespa with a fic lol

divider credits - aqualogia on tumblr

initially, you had a rough time after the breakup with rafe. tissues from crying were littered all over your room, you ghosted your friends, and you’re pretty sure you sold out the ice cream from the local grocery store.

turns out, he had cheated. you should’ve known something was up when his text responses became dry, didn’t want to go out in public for dates, and was always on his phone.

when you received the text from him saying, “I need to talk to you,” you panicked. your text response however, remained calm. you both met up, he confessed he cheated on you and wanted to break things off. you tried your best keeping a poker face but he knew you too well, knowing you were about to break down. he then had the audacity to give you “one final hug” before speeding off on his bike, leaving you wallowing in your tears. he never even apologized.

now, here you are, sunbathing with a couple of your friends. it’s a small island, so you occasionally see rafe with his new girlfriend, sofia. or was it sofie? you honestly can’t remember, and that was good. you’ve moved on, healed, realized that you were only with rafe because he saw you at your weakest.

as you watch your friends go in the water to cool off from the heat, you notice a familiar blond boy walking along the beach, alone. you take a glance and lay down on your beach towel again, not paying attention to him. until he calls out your name.

you sit up, and rafe stands over you. you want to see if you can ignore him, so you just wave him off, but you hear him scoff. it was awkward, of course, your ex was standing right in front of of you after almost a year of no contact. you decide to speak up, breaking the silence, “yeah?” and he bluntly says “we…broke up,” your eyebrows furrow. “okay? what does that have to do with me?” you respond. he sighs, “can we talk in private?” “alright, make it quick”

you both walk to a more secluded area, and he begins speaking, “we broke up because of you,” he sighs. “because of me? what part do I play in your relationship?” you cross your arms, scoffing. “sofia thought I was still hung up on you, and she was right, I was,” he looks at you, there’s shame in his eyes, and guilt in his words. you couldn’t believe what he was saying. he continued, “listen, I know I cheated on you, it was a shitty thing for me to do. my head wasn’t right, and…I took you for granted.”

you roll your eyes and scoff again, “yeah, you did take me for granted rafe…you knew how much I loved you, you knew how much I cherished our relationship…for you to throw that away-” he interrupts, “I know, and i’m willing to give it another shot. if you would just let me-” it was now your turn to interrupt, “excuse me? do you know how ridiculous you sound right now? you were the one who broke my heart in the first place, and now you’re crawling back to me? i’m sorry rafe, I won’t ever get back with you. never in a million years.” he sighed, defeated.

he hated seeing you like this, so happy. after that day on the beach, he tried to talk to you again via text. and again, and again, and again, until you finally hit the block button on his contact.

your paths crossed again at the wreck, you were talking with someone, a new friend perhaps. you were smiling and giggling as you ate one of your fries. of course he noticed you first, and his heart leaped. he wanted to come up to you and strike a conversation again, but he knew he would just get shut out by you once more. he wanted to get out of the restaurant as soon as possible, so he ordered and anxiously tapped his foot while mr. carrera fulfilled his order. as soon as his number was announced, he took the bag of food and rushed to his car, not caring that he was being stared at.

it hurt his pride, of course. he knows he shouldn’t be reacting this way, he has no right to be acting this way. but god, did he miss you. he missed the way he basically had you wrapped around your finger, you were so willing to drop everything for him at the snap of his fingers. sofia wasn't the same. she set him straight, didn't enable his behavior, and he hated that. rafe always got things his way, he couldn't control sofia the way he controlled you.

word gets around fast in kildare country. it didn't take long for rafe to find out that you have someone new. he quickly came to terms that you've finally moved on. however, he wasn't prepared to see you and your new boyfriend in person so soon.

you were living your best life, your skin was glowing, and you had the best boyfriend in the world, jason. he was the juxtaposition of rafe, a breath of fresh air. you two were having brunch at the country club, watching some of the members out on the field, playing golf or also having a nice meal. as you take another bite out of your avocado toast, you see a familiar trio walk in. you really wish this island wasn't so small so you wouldn't see him that often. it annoyed you more than it bothered you. you put your toast down on the plate, then spoke to your boyfriend, "i'm gonna use the restroom," he nodded his head. you stood up from your chair and went inside the building.

while on your way to the restroom, you ran into rafe. it had been six months after you blocked him, and you resisted rolling your eyes when he waved and smiled at you. he started walking towards you, and you hoped he knew how much of a stupid decision he was making. probably not, you thought. he was now across you, and you hear him speak up, "how are you?" "fine," you say, dryly. "heard some things goin' around town." rafe says, trying to keep the conversation going. "yeah, I have a new boyfriend," your voice is monotone. "oh, does he treat you better than me?" he asks. you roll your eyes and try your best to not just walk away from the conversation.

"yes, he does, rafe. why haven't you moved on?" your voice was slightly raised, and he sighs, "you know why I haven't moved on. I need you, y/n. please-" "rafe. i've moved on. you should too." you start walking away to the restroom, and he looks at you, defeated. you knew your worth, and you knew you deserved someone better than rafe.

he took one last glance at you before going back to topper and kelce. he sighed as your words hung over him. you moved onto better things now.

[itneverendshere]

I know they probably had to change the story for this season abruptly but there was so much they could have done better. The death just felt like nothing, felt like it was some random side character dying. The core group gave nothing no emotions whatsoever. That character deserved a better send off than a few measly tears. He's supposed to be a best friend, a brother, and lover to these characters but it was so bland.

The whole Rafe and Sofia story got me like wtf too. He couldn't even call her his gf but he's proposing to her a few episodes later? There is zero development to that couple but we're supposed to believe they're in love. Rafe's story this season should have been about the aftermath of ward's death and relationship with his sisters. I'm probably one of the few hoping next season they leave the breakup intact, no riara, let him help the pogues, but more importantly build the bond between him and Sarah. That cameron/Rafe storyline is compelling by itself he doesn't need to be in a romantic relationship to be interesting. I find the relationship between him and Sofia boring, i don't really feel the chemistry and I agree with some of the other Fiona's acting isn't matching the scenes but it could be said for most of the cast excluding Drew. Like when she was about to confess it was lacking something, it was like she was just reading the words off a page.

spoilers under the cut.

i mentioned this before about jj's death/burrial scenes, it should have been a huge, character-defining moment for the whole group, but it felt like it was swept under the rug?? not even a close up shot either??

the characters didn't seemed as affected as they should (and yeah everyone grieves differently, but there were 5 of them and they all looked the same imo), which was so strange for someone meant to be a best friend, brother, and a lover to them. it made his death feel like just another random plot point (except we kinda know why it happened). jj deserved depth and complexity in that moment—especially from the people closest to him. we needed more than a few stray tears and some half-assed speech about revenge.

john's b narrating was kinda the only thing i really liked.

the rafe and sofia arc... hmm how did they go from that to him proposing? no real buildup, no gradual deepening—it felt like they skipped steps, assuming we’d just buy into it. i get that rafe's not a main character yet, and there's only so much we can see of his personal relationships but c'monnnnn. they could've given us a little more. his storyline would have been way more compelling (to moi) if it was even more focused on reconnecting with sarah and getting whezzie back. we don’t need a romantic subplot to make him interesting tbh.

[mackenzielovee]

girl!!! i have to agree w anon that said ambivalence is one of the best series they’ve read on here bc it’s so true. it really is and im so so glad you wrote it <3 i remember during s1 of obx trying to find rafe fics that i hadn’t already read yet and it was only until around s2 that i started seeing your fics and when reading i remember when id smile to myself like there is no waaaay i have stumbled across writing this good like WHAT? and usually i like to stay far far away from series (mainly if they’re continuing to be updated bc im impatient and love to read 😭) but idk what possessed me that day to read one of your other series regardless im glad because i LOVED it and i just knew i wouldn’t care if you updated every few weeks or so bc i knew i was going to love each chapter and i did. so much. you had the right amount of angst that had me screaming internally wondering how reader/rafe were going to solve whatever it was and the perfect amount of fluff that had me laying in my bed wondering why i don’t have my own sweet rafe cameron :(((( the blurbs are FANTASTIC by the way like i am loving the pre-relationship blurbs too it’s so interesting bc we are really seeing rafe fall in love with reader - he says it all the time how he’s loved her since but actually reading how he would be staring at her from afar while she was with john b or whoever not paying him any attention whatsoever just made me ??/?/?/?/ like i wanted to protect rafe 😭

the epilogue too? um. what a beautiful way to end the story 😭😭😭😭 (ik there will be more blurbs in the future) but damn. that epilogue hit me hard im gonna miss ambivalence!yn&rafe so much. also the doctor telling her she’s pregnant had my eyes widening i was NOT expecting it in the slightest pls and when yn was preparing to tell rafe i was literally on the edge of my seat like what is he going to think but rafe loves this girl so much how could he have said anything otherwise <///3333 crying bc i don’t have my own rafe cameron (drew starkey tbh) anyway sorry this is so long but just wanted to tell you how AMAZING you and your writing are. cant wait for your new story <3 (and don’t rush to write if you need that break girl, look after yourself!)

um wow so i’m crying rn!!!! wow

thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. wish i could print it out and frame it and read it every day. you are the sweetest in the whole world to type all this out and send it my way. it really makes me so happy. i’m so so so glad you enjoyed <3

[reaperintheroses]

Like those foreign stars (JJ x reader)

Requested: Yes by @maybebanks Word Count: 4319 Warnings: underaged drinking, angst, fluff. UNWANTED SEXUAL ADVANCES (it gets stopped before it goes anywhere though), Mentions of blow jobs, JJ makes the reader uncomfortable on accident, swearing. Request: y/n is a part of the kook gang and at the cut beach party y/n wanders alone and rafe is touching her thigh and feeling her up, she is so scared and he asks for a bj and she says no . Later on JJ is high and mimics a bj w his blunt and jokes asking you or Kie for a bj. You get emotional and storm off but don’t let them see. They’re like “what’s the matter w her?” Then jj comes out her her and finds out what happened. Y/n is reluctant to tell tho but since jj likes her he is really sweet ig A/N: Hello, I am once again back with my first request!!! My requests are open so just send in whatever’s on your mind. This was actually betaed by my fiance because he’s a professor so he’s good at checking my writing. He just kind of skimmed over it though so if you notice anything let me know so I can fix it. The ending is kinda shitty tbh I’m not super proud of it. Gimme feedback though I love hearing from you all! Just something to say

The air smelled like alcohol, the beach, and bad decisions. Parties were never really your scene. Walking around you surveyed the crowd. You had the normal kooks and pouges on their opposite sides trying to act as if the other wasn’t there. The random tourists scattered all around, trying to make their evening worthwhile. Music was coming from somewhere on the beach but could barely be heard with the tide rushing in and out every few seconds. You saw the back of toppers head and sighed. If it wasn’t for his constant pushing you wouldn’t be here tonight and instead would probably be back home watching shitty T.V. Seeing the rest of his friends hanging around him laughing at the dumbest jokes you turned around trying to find a keg. Trying to focus surrounded by the smell of weed and the -exaggerated loud laughs of the flirting tourists made everything five times harder. Part of you kept thinking that it wasn’t too late to turn back. You could walk back to your car and drive off, make your own fun for the evening. Deciding that was probably the best course of action you started to make your way back to your car when you heard someone call out for you. “Hey Y/N wondering when you were going to show up.” You heard sand being kicked up around the beach and turned around. Topper was jogging towards you. Groaning internally you slapped on a fake smile and walked to him. “Hey Top, how’s it going,” you asked not really wanting an actual answer. He started talking about what annoying things the pogues were doing tonight and as soon as the words left his mouth you stopped listening. Glancing longingly over to the keg you wished you could escape Topper’s grip and go over to where your friends were handing out drinks. Topper follows your gaze and steers you over to where all of the kooks were sitting. “We just grabbed a bunch of random cups and brought them back over here so we didn’t have to keep on going back there for refills.” He explained mistaking your gaze. Sitting down on a large tree branch, you accepted a solo cup from a random girl. Sniffing before you took a sip you grimaced at the slightly bitter taste that you still weren’t used to yet. Glancing down at your feet you saw that Kelce had come to sit right next to you. Still wishing you were at home, you listened to all of the conversations around you while nursing the beer you had. Reaching down you slipped off your shoes and let the sand seep beneath your toes. Holding your cup up to your mouth you pulled back when nothing came out. Looking down you saw that you had drunk everything. Sighing, you handed the cup to the person next to you and stood up. Stretching you heard some of your joints crack. Glancing around you saw that no one paid you any attention. Shrugging you walked out of the cluster of kooks and made your way down to the beach.

Feeling the water paw at your toes, you looked at the sky and started trying to find constellations. Stuffing your hands into your pocket you turned around to see how far you had gotten from the party. Moving back around you looked out to the ocean, taking peace in the sound of the waves crashing into the shore. Looking up the beach you saw another large piece of driftwood. Walking up you took a seat and went back to looking at the ocean. Hearing someone take a seat next to you, you looked up. “Pretty isn’t it,” the sight of Rafe Cameron greeted you. You smiled slightly to not seem rude. “Yeah it is, can’t believe we get to live here.” You replied. Really you just wanted him to leave you alone. Moving your gaze back to the ocean, you hoped he would get the hint. Either be quiet and leave you alone or go back to the party. Apparently Rafe thought it was fine to make his own option and chose C. Bug you into having a conversation with him. He cleared his throat. “So have you done anything interesting this week,” he asked, keeping his eyes trained on you while you kept yours trained on the ocean. Thinking that if you just didn’t reply that maybe he would leave you alone. The only reason you even gave him the time of day was that the Camerons and the Y/L/Ns had been friends ever since you could remember. Your dad worked closely with Ward and you had been neighbors since you were ten. Their daughter Sarah was your age so you had always done things together, regardless of whether you liked each other or not. You used to hate her guts but the more time you were forced to spend together, the more you realized she wasn’t horrible and you didn’t mind hanging out with her every now and again. Though it was because of Sarah that you met your best friend though. You would always owe her for that. Kie was your partner in crime and she’s been there for you through it all. Kie had introduced you to the pogues aka your real friends. The people who at the end of the day you could go to who would get high with you and talk about nothing and everything. Then there was Rafe. Rafe always creeped you out. He always steered clear of you but from what you had heard from other people you needed to watch yourself around him.  

He nudged your shoulder with his. “Y/N did you hear what I said?” He asked. “Hm, oh no sorry.” You lied hoping you would convince him to leave you alone. Apparently not. He kept on chatting about himself and the pogues and how he wished this and that about them. You added in the occasional acknowledgment that you were listening. At this point, you just wanted to go home. In the middle of his sentence, your phone went off. It was probably Kie calling you and asking if you wanted to come back with the pogues at the end. You picked up your phone and unlocked it. You were in the middle of typing out a response when he snapped in front of your face. “Hey, I’m talking to you,” he said anger lacing his tone. “I’m sorry but this is important.” You lied hoping it would seem like you needed to go home. He moved his hand to your thigh. Putting your phone down you looked from his hand up to him with a face of confusion. He moved closer. He smelled like weed. He moved his other hand to your back. “Look I’m sorry I yelled,” so it was true what everyone said about him zero to one hundred in a second and then back again. He started moving his hand up your thigh slowly as if he was trying to seem discreet. Looking back out to the ocean you tried to ignore it. His fingers skimmed the hem of your shorts while his other hand fluttered around the back of your neck. He got really close to your ear. “How about we both get out of here and head back to my place,” Now that you could hear him clearly you could tell that he had been drinking by his tone. “I need to stay here, I’m my friend’s ride home.” You once again lied. Maybe that would convince him to let you leave. He looked like he was contemplating something. Your phone went off again. “That’s probably her I should go,” you continued to drop hints that you weren’t interested. “Oh come on, stay for a while.” He was starting to scare you. One of his hands reached your neck. Trying to calm down you knew that this could go south at the flip of a dime. Trying to stay calm you started to think of things you could say to getaway. You started to open your mouth when he cut you off before you could even say anything. “How about you put that mouth to better use yeah,” he asked. That’s when you gathered your senses and your fight or flight kicked in. Your phone went off for the second time. Thanking any god who was listening you stood up and wrestled your arm out of his grip. Praying you wouldn’t start crying you looked at him. “I really need to get going.” You left no room for argument. Turning on your heels you speed walked away so he couldn’t see how scared you were. So that he wouldn’t see the lone tear escape your eye and fall to the sand below.

Seeing the top of the branches that make up the boneyard you let out a sigh of relief. Picking up your pace you almost jogged out into the clearing of the beach and saw that the number of people there had been cut in half. You looked around for a familiar face, for anyone that would make you feel safer in case Rafe came back in a few minutes. Seeing the top of the brunette bun you let out a large sigh of relief. Grabbing your earlier discarded shoes you made your way over to your friends and prepared yourself for your real evening to begin.Wiping off your face you tried to look presentable. Coming up behind Kie you rested your arm across her shoulders. “Good evening, comrades!” You greeted them. Kie turned to look at you and smiled. “Lady Y/N, how are you on this fine evening,” she responded in a faux British accent. You smiled back at her in response. If it were just the two of you, you would tell her everything. Swallowing back another round of tears you looked over at Sarah and smiled. You were glad that she shared few similarities with her brother otherwise you might have lost it then and there. You tried to ignore the lingering feeling of his hands on your thigh and neck. Kie nudged your ankle with her foot. “We were going to head back to the Chateau pretty soon, want to come?” She asked you with a look in her eyes that made you feel slightly better. Seeing JJ look over at you like a hopeful puppy made you cave quickly. Your crush on the boy grew stronger every time you saw him. You didn’t want to ruin the great relationship you already had with him but every time you were close to him this feeling in your chest grew like a weed. Every time you tried to shove your feelings down they would come back tenfold the next time you saw him. Giving a yes you gave a small smile to the cheers that rose around you. Helping them load up the van you made sure that you had your keys so that your car would still be here when you came back to grab it in the morning. 

Jumping into the van you snagged a seat in the back between Kie and Pope laying your head on Kie’s shoulder. Shifting your gaze to the front you saw John B. and Sarah holding hands in between the seats. Looking out the front window you saw the clear night sky filled with stars. It brought back the sky you saw from the ocean though and you quickly turned your head away. Playing with Kie’s hair you tried to shake the feeling of his hand still moving around like mud on your body. JJ gently kicked your shin with the tip of his foot. You looked up at him. He talked with his hands so as to not disturb the comfortable silence that had fallen around everyone. “Are you okay?” He asked you silently, moving his fingers slowly so you could understand. You were so tired of all the lying but you didn’t want to worry him. Giving him a sleepy smile and a thumbs up you tried to close your eyes but all you saw were flashes of Rafe and the sound of the waves, which would normally sound pretty but at the moment made you feel like you were drowning. Opening your eyes quickly you tried to focus all your thoughts into braiding Kie’s hair for the last few minutes of the car ride. 

When you made it back to the Chateau it seemed as if everyone had awoken from the sleepy state that wrapped around you all like a blanket in the car. JJ was attempting to keep Pope’s attention, and failing, on how to roll a proper backwood. Pope was listening to Kie tell a story from her freshman year with Sarah chiming in every now and again. John B. was off in the kitchen getting everyone drinks and you, well you were still trying not to flinch every time you got a flash of Rafe or heard his breathy voice in your ear. Realizing that just ignoring them wouldn’t work you got up to help John B. carry everyone’s drinks back. Weaving in between your sitting friends you walked over to the kitchen and hopped up on the counter. He was rustling around in the fridge. “So why were you gone for so long tonight?” He asked, starting off strong. “I just went for a walk on the beach to clear my head, why?” You responded playing dumb and hoping that they didn’t see Rafe trail after you. “Sarah was worried about you,” That grabbed your full attention. “Why would she be worried?” You were still really hoping that she hadn’t seen Rafe trail after you. The last thing you needed was for everything to become a bigger deal than it needed to be. Sure he was being a creep but that didn’t surprise you, after everything everyone said about him. You also put a stop to it before it went anywhere. That’s what was important. He didn’t get what he wanted. That realization filled you with pride for a split second. Then all the worry came back to you. Shoving it aside you looked back to where John B. was standing up from the ground with three beers in hand. You grabbed the other two on the counter and snatched up two bottle openers before you started to walk back over to the group. John B. handed Sarah a beer before he looked over at you with a look that said what you needed to hear. ‘We’re here if you need us.’ Tossing him an opener you gave him a soft smile which you hopped convey your thanks. Sitting back over by JJ you put his beer on the ground next to you before taking the opener to the top of your beer and then his. Handing him the drink you took a quick swig of yours before nodding in recognition to his mumbled thanks. Holding the bottle by the neck you turned your torso so you could watch him try to finish rolling this blunt. You got lost in memory while watching him. Your thoughts bounced from the first time you met, to when he complimented your swimsuit that one time, to when he gave you your first hit of weed. The laughs from the rest of the group brought your attention back to Kie’s story that you were only half paying attention to. Turning back over to them you smiled at her. She gave a small wave of her eyebrows. You drew your mouth into a straight line and gave her a subtle glare. She knew all about your crush and made fun of you for it all the time. She had guessed exactly what you were thinking about just a second ago. Taking another swig of your beer you pulled out your phone and texted your mom telling her that you had not, in fact, been kidnapped and that you were with Kie and safe. Finishing off the text with an ‘I love you and I’ll be home in the morning’ you pocketed your phone and looked back up at Kie’s smirking face. Pretending to scratch your eye with your middle finger, in hopes of being subtle you glanced over at John B. and Sarah who were cuddling and nursing their own beers. Giving Sarah a small wave you looked back when you heard a small whoop. Cocking your head in curiosity you saw JJ do a small victory shimmy as he held up the finished backwood. Giving a silent scoff you raised your eyebrows at him. He now had everyone’s attention as he showcased his finished blunt. Kie gave him a small thumbs-up as a small display of pride while Pope started a lecture on the effects of smoking. Sarah and John B. laughed at him while Pope realizing his words were falling on deaf ears sat back to watch. JJ started to bob his head up and down on the blunt and started over dramatically moaning like he was in a bad porno. Everyone else laughed him off but you felt like ice was shooting down your spine. You sat up straighter and forced a half-smile that pained you. Once he stopped his gross display you hopped the night would be able to go back to normal and you could just ignore what had happened along with the rest of the evening. Apparently not. Guess all your luck had been used on the gang not seeing Rafe trail behind you. JJ looked up and put on a weird face that when you would look back to the night later on you could only describe as a mix of being drunk, high, and teasing. “My good lady Kie,” you could already tell where this was going, “could I interest you in an early morning bj in exchange for a few puffs of this glorious backwood.” Inside you felt like crying or screaming. On the outside, you just looked pained. Kie just kicked his leg a little bit harder than usual and laughed at him “You are absolutely disgusting.” She giggled. Pope shook his head while Sarah had a look of laughter and disgust on her face. John B., who was probably used to it at this point, laughed along with Kie. You hopped he would leave it at that. Prayed even. JJ, ever the clown, couldn’t drop it though, could he? Turning to you, he smiled. You looked as if you were preparing for a punch. Kie looked at you with question on her face. “My dear Y/N,” you felt close to crying, “Kie has denied my proposed arrangement so I come to you with the same idea.” You swallowed. You could smell the weed and other drugs on him. Could hear his slurred words and feel his hand on your neck squeezing just tight enough to scare you. His hand dragging across your thigh like sandpaper. You didn’t want to show fear. You didn’t want to show him how he reduced you into a scared, whimpering mess. It felt with just a simple phrase you could be transported back to that moment. Opening your eyes suddenly you met with JJ’s teasing gaze. Kie looked like a mix between confused and amused. Everyone else looked interested. Why couldn’t you just respond how you normally did, telling him to fuck off and give him a tipsy laugh. You stood up swiftly and bent back down to grab your beer bottle. You started to turn away from the group when JJ grabbed you by the wrist. “Hey, it was just a joke,” You didn’t want to bring down their mood by moping and you just needed to be alone. You wrestled your arm out of his grip and he gave it up with little fight. “I-” you cleared your throat so you wouldn’t sound on the brink of tears. “I need to get some air.” Walking around Pope and stepping over John B’s leg you reached the screen door. Opening it, you relished in the feeling of the cool salty air on your face. Stepping down the steps to lead you to the hammock and the chairs you had set up for when it was too hot for you all to be inside. Sitting down you grasped your beer bottle in your hands and let all your emotions out. You felt the tears slip down your face for the second time tonight. You tried to channel all your fear, anger, and sadness into your tears. You were scared of Rafe. After tonight how could you not be? You realized though that you had always been scared of him. You just had a reason now. Trying to calm your breathing you realized that tonight you got lucky. Tonight could have been so much worse. You wanted to feel lucky but you couldn’t find it in your heart. Starring off at the stars you took a long drink.

Hearing the screen door slam shut you quickly reached up and harshly wiped your face so that any remnants of your tears wouldn’t be seen. You heard the person bound down the stairs and then walk quickly across the grass. They sat down in the chair next to you. Turning away from the sky you looked over at him. He looked sorry. “It was just a joke, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” The words he said sounded rehearsed like he had said them to himself over and over. You gave him a small smile. “Not your fault, it’s just been a long night.” You lifted the beer bottle back up to your lips. He cleared his throat. “Hey Y/N, why did Rafe follow you when you walked up the beach?” He asked you protectiveness oozing from his voice. So guess you had less luck than you thought. Sighing, you tried to gather your thoughts. “Did he do anything?” This was not going to end well and you could feel it. No matter what you said he was going to get angry. “Y/N I swear to God if he did anything I will beat him seven ways to Sunday.” The threat wasn’t what worried you, it was the fact that it wasn’t an empty promise. Thinking for a moment on how to best respond you decided that lying wasn’t worth it anymore. The moment you opened your mouth everything came tumbling out like a waterfall. You told him about the senses you experienced. From the smell of cheap alcohol and drugs to the feeling of his hand on your thigh and on the back of your neck. You talked about how his anger went from one to one hundred and back again in seconds. You talked about how you should have listened to everyone’s warnings and how he looked as if he wouldn’t take no for an answer. You talked about everything and nothing. He just sat there and listened. 

In the end, you took a sharp inhale. After a few minutes, you turned and looked at him. For once he was quiet. Then he stood up. You stared at him with eyes like a deer in headlights. He gestured for you to stand up as well. Still confused you abandoned your drink on the chair and stood up to face him. He pulled you into a crushing hug. Getting thrown off balance you grabbed onto his shoulders to steady yourself. Letting your hands slide down his back you pressed your face into his bicep. He rubbed his hand up and down your back. “Y/N you didn’t deserve any of that.” His voice is quiet and out of character. Drawing back he placed his hands on your shoulders. The butterflies in your stomach became a storm. He turns away. “Hey JJ I actually have something else I want to tell you,” You wished you could grab the words back after they left your mouth. He paused in what he was doing indicating for you to continue. He wasn’t looking at you which helped. “JJ I like you,” you paused and contemplated everything that was about to leave your mouth, “as way more than a friend.” You tried not to feel like you were being burned alive with embarrassment as you continued. “I have for a little while now and I get this feeling every time I’m around you.” He stood up straight. “I need to know what you feel about any of this,” you were so scared more scared then you had been all night. “If you don’t feel the same then we can just pretend this never happened and just go back to normal.” You finished. He turned around. He was silently laughing at you. You felt any hope you had deflate. Your face fell. He stopped laughing. Giving you a soft smile he replied to your confession. “Thank God you said something or otherwise I never would have acted on them.” You looked up and cocked your head to the side. “I like you too Y/N, more than I can describe.” Your face split into a grin. You launched yourself into his arms and gave a tiny squeal of happiness. Breaking apart once again you saw that his face had a large grin on it as well. Unable to shove back down your smile you sat back down. Putting your beer on the grass you reached across the distance between you and took his hand in yours. Letting your joint hands fall in between you. Turning back out to glance at the sky you marveled at the twinkling stars. For the first time all night, you closed your eyes and were greeted by darkness, not Rafe’s face. You both stayed out there for hours, your hands interlocked just soaking in each other’s presence. 

@simonsbluee

[xorax]

I just binge watched Outer Banks and I am obsessed ??? It has been ages since I watched a Netfilx show that got me so invested in the characters so now I need to vent (spoiler alert): 

» JJ, Kie and Pope DESERVE EVERYTHING THEY NEED TO BE PROTECTED AT ALL COST I LOVE THEM THEY’RE MY BABIES.

» Pope is gay and he’s clearly in love with JJ. I know, I know, we are suppose to believe he has feelings for Kie but listen he’s clearly in the closet and he’s projecting on Kie and convincing himself that he likes her in that way. I don’t wanna see him suffer next season pls give him his boyfriend. Also, I loved his relationship with his dad, they’re so pure.

» JJ is a bisexual king and obviously in love with both Kie and Pope. Also, he deserved better. His relationship with his dad, how he craves his approval despite the abuse, really broke my heart. And Rudy is the strongest actor among them, he gave me chills in every scene, the boy has talent.  

» Kie is amazing, strong, gentle, compassionate, smart, beautiful, she’s the mom friend and the best friend you could ask for and I love her so much. Also, she clearly feels something for JJ but she’s scared. The “did you tell JJ?” scene was a big ass hint. I also love her dynamic with John B, you can see how clearly she cares about him as a friend and how guilty she feels for not having been there when his dad went missing. 

» The 3 of them are amazing characters, they are nuanced, they have weakness and made mistakes but you can see how deeply cared for each others, they are the epitome of “found family”. I really don’t want to see a love triangle\drama between them in season 2, I want them to be happy and healthy in a poly relationship. They’re my OT3. 

» John B started as a strong character and I liked him but his boring ass relationship with Sarah ruined the character for me. In the end he was a shitty friend and does not deserve the Pogues. I mean, he wasn’t even able to say a proper goodbye to them and just kept asking for Sarah like ?? dude who fucking care about her these are your people, your family they risked EVERYTHING for you... I really hope he can be redeemed in season 2 and I want to see him interacting more with JJ (like they’re supposed to be best friend ?? but it kind went missing after 3 episodes ??) but I’m hopeless now since him and Sarah are in Nassau he probably will be separated from the Pogues for all next season and this will be definitely the dead of his character. Rip John B. 

» Sarah was the worst. I 100% blame the authors for that, the actress is cute and I love to see her interacting with the rest of the cast on social media, but her character is horrible written. Her whole personality is dull, we’re supposed to believe she’s this kind of girl who “pushes people away” coz she’s scared they will see “her real self” but ???? like it makes zero (0) sense... she acts like she has this terrible “dark side” she wants to hide from people but ?? she’s actually not hiding anything ?? She’s an entitled spoilt bitch and she’s not afraid to show it, and everybody love her regardless, she’s the most popular girl at school, her father adores her, she’s got the perfect life... How I am suppose to empathise with her? And don’t let me start ranting about what she did to Kie... she emotionally abused her (yes, ghosting and disappearing from you’re best friend’s life without given a single explanation is emotional abuse and you can see how Kie was affected by that) and for what?? And everything is solved in 5 min and never mentioned again coz the author did not really know how to write complex and nuanced females’ friendship. I really hope she dies in season 2, she really has not purpose beside being John B’s romantic interest and their whole dynamic was super fast with no building whatsoever  (also, they literally had sex 72 hours after they realised they like each other ?? what about the “feeling trapped when people get closed to me” conflict?). Her sister Wheezie is far more interest than her and she’s got much more potential. 

» Ward Cameron, perfect villain, I loved him. Manipulative, conniving, greedy, I loved how he is firstly presented as the good “american self-made man” archetype and gradually we realise how trash he really is. Moral of the story: there are no such thing as “good rich people”, wealth corrupts you and makes you greedier. Kudos to the writers, I loved that. 

» Rafe: my expectation are high now, he has all the potential to be an amazing villain in season 2: rich kid with daddy issue goes psycho is one of my favourite trope (tbh as long as the riches are portrayed as greedy villains I am on board). Also the actor is great, that meltdown scene in ep 9? The "you understand why I did it dad?" scene? That final scene of him screaming? Amazing.

I literally enjoyed every other minor characters (of course I hated Topper and the Kooks and JJ’s dad but I loved how they were written, they felt real and the actors did a great job, kudos to them).  Can’t wait for season 2. 

[tell-me-when-ur-ready]

Episode nine

LOVE the jj Cleo moment on the airstrip hahaha

Yes please Sofia, stroke rafe’s ego, that’s all he needs

I aspire to be as talented as JJ at bullshitting my way out of things

How do we feel about the little redemption moment when ward said goodbye to rafe

Was the long awaited jiara kiss what I’d been picturing or what I wanted? No. Did it still make me grin goofily and laugh and tear up a little? Yes it did 😭 have never seen jj as happy as he was on the plane 😭

FINALE TIMEEE

JJ spitballing 😂

Just a little quality bonding time between in-laws ahaha

“The Cameron’s aren’t really a hiking family” sent me

Interesting throwaway piece of John b dialogue “just like you did with mom”

All these South American scenes def feel like a totally different show. It’s more like Indiana Jones vibes and tbh I’m not into it lol

The way Cleo got everything she didn’t even know she craved with the pogues and pope 😭

For some reason I cried more than I have all season so far at jombie’s speech to Sarah in the cave

I have goosebumps omg three seasons leading up to this moment and they actually found it. To going full kook!! I do wish it had been all of the pogues in that moment there, like the original core group of the three boys and kie. I feel like they/we deserved that and I’m mad at big John for taking that away from us (I guess none of them would have been there without him but, yanno)

Oh good everyone’s dad is dying (for the second time) at the same time

I sobbed through the last ten minutes (just bc that heartbreaking feeling of knowing a fandom will never be like it was in the good old original days,,, like the characters’ lives will never be like they used to be when we first fell in love with them and their world). Time jump def made it feel like they weren’t thinking they’d get renewed and were kind of putting a bow on it

So… rafe?? Is where? Doing what? Also barracuda Mike?

That look jj and John b gave each other at the end was perfect. I’m a mess.

MANNNNN OKAY!

Overall, were there issues with this season? Yes. I wanted more group pogue scenes, less big John, less topper (whyyy do we always have Sarah going back to him), more Luke/exploration of JJ’s trauma/drinking/etc, more conversations about jiara.

But am I really happy with what we got? I sure am!! I think the culmination of the jiara slow burn was done so, so well — major props to Rudy and Bailey (gah this is one of my favorite ships of all time). So was the transition from poguelandia back to obx (with all of them, but especially Sarah). And there were still some golden moments of hilarious banter or the pogues just being dumbasses (aka my fave). There were so many little things I loved this season.

Predictions for season 4 (or at least, what I WANT lol). Could def see Luke coming back to get a piece of the gold (and would love to explore more of JJ’s feelings/anxieties/trauma around now being in a relationship and how that works). Time jump — i’d like to think they’re going to give us a bunch of throwback scenes set during those 18 months (because there is SO MUCH to explore in there — relationally, logistically, all the things) but honestly I don’t know. Seems like they might just pick up from where the Blackbeard action is apparently starting.

[angelsaxis]

Spoilers for King’s Cage but I have Thoughts and I want to know if anyone feels the same way.

For real though like. Mare’s introspection is so BAD sometimes. Let a 17/18 year old just talk like a normal teenager. Not everything is existential. Part of the reason people don’t like mare is because of how redundant she can be (especially towards the end of RQ/all of GS OH BOY)

And I feel like Cal isn’t really even present in these books. Like yeah he’s Mare’s love interest but he doesn’t read like he has much of a...personality. To me. Like sometimes it feels like he’s just There. He definitely goes through character development but everything that happens is mostly wrt how much people hate him and I feel like KC would have benefited 

I can’t even see Cal’s “betrayal” as what we’re meant to see it as--bad, horrible, and a dirty thing to “do” to Mare. It didn’t even seem like to me that Cal was in any position to decline the crown. They both acknowledge that Mare has problems and needs help, but then why do they both seem to think that they could make the relationship work beyond that? They have their opposite sides with Cal’s inherent ties to the throne (whether he wants them or not) and Mare’s inherent repulsion by royalty, especially because of the shit she took from Evangeline and Maven.

If they hadn’t split up over that, it would have been over Maven, and I think I honestly would have preferred that as a plot point. The two/VA spent the entirety of their being together in the last parts of the book kind of dancing around the subject of Maven and what exactly will happen once one of them gets their hands on him. Mare wants him dead, clearly. Cal doesn’t, clearly. But all we get is Mare going “lmao he wants to heal maven and it’s probably not gonna happen” and then nothing afterwards.

Guaranteed if they had talked about it instead of avoiding it, they likely would have broken up over the fact that Mare wants to kill Cal’s brother and Cal just can’t bring himself to hate him. That’s a fight that I would have preferred, honestly. 

In terms of other characters, though, I genuinely liked Evangeline’s POV, and to a lesser degree, Cameron’s. But then it just made it difficult to go through Mare’s POV because unless she was interacting with Maven, it was just boring (except for the brief positivity of her going to Piedmont)--and her narration is aggravating as hell. There are so many fragments that could flow more smoothly as sentences and everything is written like it’s meant to be quotable.

I’m not upset at Maven’s being bi (and I’ve noticed that people are all ok with Maven being bi but enraged at Evangeline being a lesbian lmao). It makes sense because Thomas was brought up in RQ and there’s every possibility that Maven did actually love him, but used “friend” For Reasons. 

Evangeline’s being a lesbian was...tough, to accept though. She’s just been such a vile, antagonistic character for so long that I haven't’ found a single other lesbian that’s actually okay with her (kind of randomly) being gay. It just makes it look like she was made into a lesbian for Progressive Points and not for any real concern for LGBT+ characters--although I do like the fact that Rafe is clearly gay lmao. 

As a random note, Cal and Mare’s first time was so dumb lmao it was raining and they were covered in mud and sweat. Mare probably has an infection now tbh.

Farley’s character change was kind of fast though, and I can’t help but think that it was directly related to her being pregnant. I like that she’s less petty and unnecessarily antagonistic now (there were some points where I really couldn’t stand her) but she’s done almost a complete 180 and it’s a bit weird to see her trying to hug people.

Cameron’s character progression came off as more natural, and I’m glad that she, Mare, and Farley are all getting along better now. Too bad she still comes off as just an angry black girl. 

And speaking of black people--or POC in general in this book--primarily, I’m glad that there’s more both foreground and background characters that are not white. It’s still extremely noticeable that all the Silvers are heavily white coded and the Reds are all heavily nonwhite coded, though. And Mare’s race lowkey changed? She’d gone from what could be called “regular white” to “golden brown” and “brown” (while the rest of her family conspicuously remains white). All of the other nonwhite characters wouldn’t even fall into the “black” category because they’re generally described as being dark but having completely straight hair, so it’s clear they’re meant to be vaguely ethnic and left at that.

Victoria Aveyard clearly has a fetish for oily/shiny black men. Like. It’s so painfully obvious. She can’t ever say someone has dark brown skin, it’s “deep black. Super dark. DARK DARK DARK with SHINY SWEAT and SHINY REFLECTIVE SKIN” lmao it was so awkward at one point that there would really be two presumably black princes that have “blue-black skin” and that Cameron would constantly be pointing out that she’s dark (newsflash: we don’t think about how dark we are all the time lmao).

In the end I think I just want more Maven/Mare interaction, but with a POV that’s from Maven’s POV. There’s so many things that he acknowledges about himself--the fact that he’s more obsessed than he is in love, the fact that Mare doesn’t like him, the fact that he knows how he’s expressing his love isn’t healthy and it’s entirely a direct result of his mother’s manipulations--that would make for a really interesting narration to me.