#this is so hot oh my goddd

[holographic-mars]

He has something important to show you

[multixfan]

the way my jaw dropped- 🫠🙇‍♀️

[mentallygillselfship]

when he powers up so does my vibrator

[dieno-tsuki]

fun fact majority of cars in europe are manual so kaiser def knows how to drive stick. he probably prefers it too. 🙏 (i’ve only driven an automatic car like. once. it was a very weird experience.)

live footage of me being baited because i was so happy to see you in my askbox only to be murdered in cold blood

[suusoh]

uncanny valley johan ♡ uncanny valley johan ♡ uncanny valley johan ♡ uncanny valley johan ♡ uncanny valley johan ♡

[twilightakiishi]

suggesting fwb to virgin best friend togame and watching a short circuit happen behind his eyes

[spaciebabie]

weather here is so fucking stupid. earlier this week it was freezing out and now its 60 degrees and i hafta dig thru my shit and pull out my sleeping shorts b/c its so fucking HOT IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW. WHY IS IT 60 DEGREES IN JANUARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pallotdip]

we’re gonna stick together.

[alwyswnadie]

IM GOING INSANEEEEE

[pinkfoxpriestess]

"as untamed and hubris-imbued as the one who forged it" "the arrogant craftsman" "toothy grin" and that huge ass sword description literally the only things rotating in my mind like a microwave for the past 24 hours

[kookkisses]

SARINA CRASHING OUT IN REAL TIME <3

It will get cold again eventually. The summer will not last forever. I’m not doomed to live in this unbearable heat for all eternity. <- said while gripping the countertop so hard that the tile is starting to crack

[allmyandroids]

Watched White Palace yesterday and James Spader was soooo handsome and sexy in the movie it made me sooooo wild and emotional. But loved the movie in generel a lot! The ending made me tear up in happyness 😭❤️‍🔥

Also watched Critical Care! Loved how horny he was as this doctor. Could have eaten him up right there! But also loved his sweet side very much!!

[starryeyesmasc]

starry darling, you are speaking my language 1000%. the late Cretaceous? are you a beautiful figment that my heart has created? little lore drop for you: several years ago, i was involved in paleontology research concerning stuff primarily from the late Cretaceous. i volunteered with a university's paleontology lab to a) excavate fossils from a fossil quarry the uni owned and b) prepare and study them back at the lab. i was involved for about a year and, as a major paleontology nerd, it was one of the best experiences of my life. can you actually come here expeditiously and ramble to me about the late Cretaceous?

i don't know as much about the Simpsons or aeronautical mechanics, but i'd be happy to hear about those too!

no YOU get cuddled!!!! take that!

-🐉

TAKE IT LITERALLY TAKE MY HEART‼️

why are you literal perfection—

oh my goddd please I need you in my ear telling me allll about working on the site and in the lab and I’m gonna stare at you like this 🥰🥰🥰

[shinyeeveelynn]

Rolling around my bed struggle noising at the thought of Joaquín calling me "brujita" is really a new low for me

[seiwas]

f-f-FUUUUCK DEE

@shutupsaint @ktsumu

“what’s wrong?”

issei steps into the kitchen to find you leaning back against the counter, hands gripping its edges, eyes closed. pouting.

cracking open one lid, you find him standing in front of you with his arms crossed, his towel-dried curls still damp at the ends. he smells like your body wash.

you turn away from him, hunching down so your elbows are resting on the countertop. with one hand, you point at the mug of coffee sitting on the counter nearby. menacing coils of steam still continue to waft off of it even now, fifteen minutes later.

there’s a soft snort from behind you. “did you burn your tongue again?”

you nod, head hanging. gently, you run your tongue against your top teeth. it hurts.

issei doesn’t say anything, but you hear the refrigerator door open, following by a rustling noise. and then he’s quiet for several minutes.

you hear the sound of issei’s feet padding toward you across the ceramic tiles before his hands land on your waist. he slowly spins you around, leaving little room between your bodies as he cages you in against the counter. warmth from the shower still clings to him.

he reaches up, cupping the side of your face, and he strokes his thumb along the plush center of your bottom lip.

“i don’t think kissing it better applies to tongues,” you tell him as he starts to lean in.

issei smiles, his hair falling against your forehead. “trust me.”

you’re not expecting it—the stark contrast in the temperature of his lips when they meet your own.

they’re cold.

freezing, actually.

as if he was just sucking on a piece of—

on cue, issei lifts the hand that’s not currently caressing your jaw, and he tosses something that clatters against the sink basin. the remnants of an ice cube.

he’s quick to deepen the kiss, tongue sliding insistently along the seam of your lips, both hands now cupping your face. his left fingers are cold, but his tongue is even colder he licks his way into your mouth. it slides against your own, coaxing your tongue to lap and lick, and then—

his lips close around your tongue, the cold feeling of them a soothing balm against its tender surface. his fingers cup the back of your head as he swallows you whole, as he begins to suck on your tongue in a slick, spit-soaked, thorough way that feels equal parts tender and lewd.

you press forward into him, knees going weak, and one of his hands drifts downward to splay wide against the small of your back.

when he finally releases your tongue once the heat of your mouth wholly sinks into his own, you nearly whine at the loss of the heady sensation.

“better?” he murmurs, gently running his knuckles along the curve of your jaw.

you swallow, brushing a socked foot against his ankle.

“there’s more ice, right?”

issei smirks.

[scythelordsucks]

SCREAMS AND MOANS DAVID SCOTT MUSTAINE IN 2007 !!!