#this is some william shit...

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.

and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.

...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.

see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.

while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.

especially if the president of the united states is on board.

yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.

and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."

but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.

...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.

not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.

yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.

but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire

[chloesimaginationthings]

Jeremiah and Mike’s first conversation in FNAF 2

[silna-pdf]

idk if u take requests but if so... annette william and wesker throuple? 👀

I am 100% normal and sane about them as a throuple and was not at all waiting endlessly for an excuse to draw this

[abesetacringe]

Toby sketch plus faves trio and Sally buying groceries

[iamasaddie]

'You think you're good and I'm bad? You let a kid die today, Jesse. Because why? He wasn't in your community? Let me tell you about my community. My community was beaten to death in front of me while I was forced to fucking watch. So don't look at me like you're better than me or like you'd do anything differently if you were in my shoes, because you're not, and you wouldn't.'

[daftmooncretin]

william shatner is kind of like a sith lord because he was born with the divine and incredible power of being incredibly cunty yet he only uses it for evil (being annoying on twitter and going to space for no reason) like we know he has astronomical levels of pure cunt coursing through his veins (we’ve all seen kirk)imagine if it was used for good.

In another, better world i know the Shatster is fulfilling his true destiny of being a guest judge on drag race 

[san8ny]

Clerks ‘n Cunts

an: what if the guns n roses band name was uhh freaky and involved vaginas and gas station workers, how scary would that be.. / a draft i scrapped

Ellie Williams.

This was a bad idea.

Lewdly agreeing to hook up with the gas station clerk because you couldn’t pay for gas— genuine hoe shit.

You scruff out a few profanities as you climb over the counter, the lanky woman eyeing your short-shorts as you do so, smiling like this was the highlight of her shitty job

“Don’t give me that look, i’m not the one with an empty tank.” She snickers, calloused hand already finding itself sliding into your tresses as you kneel, “Now, be a good girl and open wide, yeah? I’ve had a rough da—aay..” Her words trail off, head tilted back in a breathy gasp when your wet tongue meets contact with her plushy lips, swollen clit hidden underneath like it’s asking you to come find it.

That’s one way to shut her up

You could tell with the mouth on her, she got no play. Just all bark, and no bite in return

“O-oh, ah! ah! ah..shiiiit..” Ellie whines as she rocks her groin onto your lips, her body at one point slumping forward, planting her hands flat on the counter as you suck, no—eat her soul out. How did this feel so good?

You didn’t let up on your assult either, wanting to make every second of this moment good for you.

To further the humiliation she’d unknowingly inflicted herself upon, the front door swings open, a customer.

A scruffy old man with a beer belly walks in, grease stains on his wifebeater as he throws a wad of cash onto the counter, “Pump 7, toots.”

Ellie’s eyes scrunch together as she tries to verbalize a quick-witted insult, instead, a meek moan quivering out when you begin tongue-fucking her, nose prodding up at her clit as you take more of her pussy into your inviting mouth,

The man looks confused, not understanding just what was happening due to the front counter’s concealment of where you kneeled

“A-allergies.” She mutters, taking the cash and pathetically counting it. Her legs were threatening to give out at this point from how much cum and spit were running down her inner-thighs. She wonders if he could hear your slurps?

Viscerally fed-up with her snail-like speed, he makes his way to the door and just leaves without the change.

Maybe she’d employ that method from now on?

“F-fuck, baby, i’m gonna cum..” She noises, looking down at you, beautiful face all wet and your cheeks hollowed out each time you apply suction to Ellie’s pearl, “Ahh..all in your mouth too? Hm? Give you a run f-oor your money?”

You nod, pulling your lips from her cunt and rubbing your pretty painted nails over the sopping mess, “Give it to me? Just really want my car to run..” You say, eyes tearing up from the pull she had on your hair, “Might let you finish on me too..”

Ellie doesn’t spare another moment, shoving you away and pulling down your top, “If i finish, I ‘wanna finish on your rack.” She heaves, slithering a hand down and beginning to draw figure 8’s on her cunt, all while you sit there with a smile on your slutty face, “U-uhnnn, so closeee.. ‘cmere doll..”

You press your soft breasts together, tilting your head up to watch the nasty scene as Ellie uses your tits to get off, perky nipples rubbing up on her slicked pussy giving just enough of a sensation she spurts cream all over them, fluids splashing on the cold marble floor and some on your face.

After a beat of silence and her slow breathing, you run a finger down your supple cheek and bring it inbetween your lips, “Pump 3, toots.”

Safe to say you left with some snacks, a filled tank and a phone number.

[north-noire]

father-son ; bound in blood. artworks inspired by these posts! ( X | X )

[mythallia]

It's really funny to me that when Porter told Vincent "I meant it when I said he sees me as a friend and you as a child... HIS child. He loves you, Vincent." He said it like it was supposed to be some shocking revelation.

Because I remember when William first met Lovely, he said that this was basically “the supernatural equivalent of meeting the parents”

I've been under the impression that William and Vincent have a father-son relationship since DAY 1.

This was not the plot twist you thought it was Porter.

[enjoyerofstories]

i think there is something to be said about how will is a fandom favourite (i don't think there is anyone in the fandom who hates him) but some don't like nick because he's too kind or too perfect and therefore boring

[chloesimaginationthings]

How Michael’s interview with Phone dude went in FNAF 3

[5mary5]

Ik that ikevil mc (kate) is from London meaning she speaks English as her first language (lets all ignore the fact that the game is voiced in japanese for a moment) and she propably doesn't speak a second language but I just can't help but wonder what would crowns reaction be to an mc who has a foreign language as their mother tongue?? Like imagine mc hitting her toe on the table while at breakfast with the rest of crown and cursing in a language they dont understand;; I think that the initial reaction would be something like : 👀👁👁 especially liams! He would be SO curious to know what you just said! chances are that victor already knows about the fact that you can speak more than one languages but he would still be suprised, also I honestly can't imagine william having a different reaction other than his usual smile 🙂 hmmm maybe he would comment about their darling Robin being smart or something? Anyways I couldn't stop thinking about this it literally has been inside my head running around in circles for atleast a month now and I finally stopped procrastinating and wrote it ✍️

[nebuladreamz]

[edenspoem]

ellie would probably cry if you said "no head for a week"

[dreadandbread]

As a Star Trek community are we ever going to talk about that moment in TNG where Riker and Picard blast a phaser straight at this dudes dome and his noggin explodes in a scanners-esk manner to reveal a perfectly clean skull that then bursts in a terrible shower of goop or are we just going to ignore it or something

[ectonurites]

scanned some 30 minutes (or less) sketchbook pencil portraits from this year (mostly done at my allergist office lmao)