#though technically this is a firefighting axe not a weapon axe

[furbywithsunglasses]

Nothing to see here…

[lewis-winters]

Hello! For the WIP ask game, THE OLD GUARD - 2 OLD 2 GUARD AU (curious about this since I remember (if my memory hasn’t failed me lmao) you posting a snippet or so about this au!)

Oh yes! I have written for The Old Guard AU before. You can find it here, for anybody interested! I also have a tag for it (#tog au). Anyway, this doc is a continuation of that + several notes about Nix and Dick's long, immortal life. I've shared about it before, and I'm a little stingy with it, since I do plan to post it in its entirety before the end of November, so I'm just gonna post an excerpt on Nix and Dick's weapon's of choice. Because in The Old Guard (movie and comic book), the story in which this AU is based in, the immortals all have distinct weapons that come from the time periods they were made immortal in. So I thought it'd be so badass (read: sexy) for Nix and Dick to also get their own distinct weapon.

Excerpt (from character sheets):

Lew's sword is a Mainz Gladius made of steel. Technically, it's not a sword he would have had, since it was used in the later half of the 1st century BC (namely 15BC) in the more Germanic region of central Europe instead of in 58-50BC Gaul, where Lew and Dick first meet. But it is the most sexy of the Roman gladiuses of the 1st century BC, and therefore it is the sword I gave Lewis. It is primarily a defensive stabbing sword, though it is thick enough to withstand slashing motions. Ideally, Lew would be using a long shield made of wood alongside it. But then again, ideally, he wouldn't be bringing a Roman gladius that's several centuries old to a firefight, either. Anyway. Because it's a short sword, it's a short range weapon, requiring him to get up-close and personal with the soldiers he attacks here.

Dick's sword is a Celtic Long Sword fashioned like the swords from the La Tène III period, with a thick blade, rounded tip, and sharp sides. Not for stabbing, like Lew's gladius, but for slashing and pummeling. It's a bit more long range, so Dick is graced with a little bit more distance between himself and his opponent than Lewis is. Again, it would be ideal if Dick used a shield alongside it (a rounder, wider one), but it's understandable why he can't be afforded the luxury of one at the moment.

It's also important to note that the sword he's using was originally made of Iron. And since he was a warrior of very high ranking (maybe even a king, if the name Lew chose for him to go by a few centuries later (Richard) is anything to go by), it might've been the best kind of iron Dick's celtic tribe had.

Although, it should be said that both Lew and Dick's weapons are a Ship of Theseus kinda deal now (like Andromache's battle axe in The Old Guard comics/movie). Obviously, the swords won't last as long as they do without upkeep, whether it be the shaft, the blade tip, the hilt, or so on and so forth. They've been through all kinds of artisans and black smiths, so when I say the sword is a centuries old, it's more likely just a few decades from its last major fixing. Dick's sword most likely has a steel blade by the time Canon era comes around, instead of the original Iron. But if you were to ask Lew and Dick, they'd say that these swords are still the original ones they used to first kill each other, way back when. Just like how Andromache's battle axe is still her mother's axe.

(Also also I just think that it would be real sexy if in the 21st century, their swords have now become black high-carbon steel blades. Same shape and weight, of course, but just. All black, with a stronger, more sleek looking hilt? It's just sexy. It's very very sexy.) ........... Much less believable, unfortunately, is the logistics of smuggling two swords into war with you while you're under the scrutiny of a military institution. I don't think they had the swords with them in Toccoa. They probably mailed it to a secure location in England first, upon learning that they were going to Europe, and then smuggled it in through their footlockers. Lew's gladius would've fit a footlocker just fine. Dick's long sword, though, would be in need of some maneuvering-- it could fit if it lay diagonally. Furthermore, Lew's sword could be easily excused as an extra long knife. He'd usually keep it on his dominant side, and unsheathe it using his dominant hand turned inwards. Very easily concealable. Dick, on the other hand, will have to carry it on his back, since it is a slashing sword instead of a stabbing one, so it would make sense that he'd use a position that will allow him to draw it upward, where the next move would then be to arc it down. Harder to excuse away. Why would a ww2 soldier be carrying a sword around? Not to mention how dangerous it would be if said sword or its scabbard got entangled with the strap of his rifle or the holster of his glock. But idk, Dick's so self-possessed I think he'd find a way around it. And I think, at this point in the war, the Easy men don't quite care or are too busy they won't have time to dig up the answers.

[yellow-anonymous]

So welcome to the overly long explanation for an au called Tribal Tale i came up with.

It kind of has very little to do with undertale, only mainly sharing the name of the island the Tribesmen are trapped on, Ebbot Isle, being unable to leave said Isle once you go past a certain point, the Overly Wide Hardwood Bridge, having Two routes, because really, does anyone give a shit about the neutral run? Peruse through tumblr and find me one ask blog that focuses specifically on a post neutral run setting. Also, the main monsters are all humans now, just to let you know. In essence, it’s kind of more like Far Cry 3 in my eyes. But enough rambling, let’s talk about stuff.

Stuff will still be added. Will remove this message once i think i’m done.

MAGIC ‘N’ TATTOOS.

Magic is mostly performed via ritualistic tattoos. The tattoos themselves can either be on one arm, or both, but they have to be on arms for them to work. The tattoos go from the very top of the shoulder down to the bottom of the palm. The tattoo appears to be colored black, but will glow a certain color once magic is used. Some effects/spells/tattoos are universal, such as levitation, increased endurance, jumping height, the ability to preform CPR on yourself while driving, and others. Some tattoos have special spells assigned to them, such as blood magic, the equivalent of blue mode, or string magic, which is purple-pink and allows the user to create strings of magic to ensnare or lift others, or to function as a grappling hook.

THE BARRIER

-The barrier manifests itself as a really thick grey (gray?) fog.

-The point where you can’t go past the barrier is roughly half-way across all of the isle’s bridges. (The Main One: The Overly Wide Hardwood Bridge, and the ones to the east and west of the center point of Isle Ebbot.)

-The Barrier has a glitchy spot in it. We’ll get to that a bit later.

CHARACTERZ

??? - the main player character. Is a serial killer sent into Isle Ebbot to kill off the Tribesmen(The Loyal Route), but can decide to free them and sic em upon the outside world. (The Savior Route) (Quick note here, you have to actually harm the bosses during the savior route, you don’t kill them, but you don’t stand there and dodge their attacks, doing nothing back to them.)

Guzz - This au’s variation of sans. Has a brown complexion, and speaks in a mix of Brooklyn and Jamaican accents... somehow. Has a slight goatee and a small Mohawk. Has a lanky build to his body, and stands at around *I don’t know* Has tattoos on both arms. They’re purely cosmetic, and definitely don’t allow him to use blood magic.

Tattoo color - Red. Can preform blood magic on himself to fly.

Wears a sweat-stained beige tank top, has a red hoodie tied around his waist, black cargo shorts, and reddish-brown boots.

He’s calmer (by comparison) then most other (human) inhabitants on Isle Ebbot, but is still incredibly violent, and if it weren’t for his laziness, he’d be the scariest thing on the Isle. Is more willing to actually do things and/or fight if his brother is around. Will fight the player character on both runs, but for different reasons. (Savior Route: Fights you after you leave the Wooden Maze (See below) to see if you can handle everyone else. Loyal Route: Fights you directly after you kill his brother. Does not fight you after the Wooden Maze because “You look like you can handle yourself quite fine already.”) Has a tendency to vanish for long periods of time, and popping up seemingly just as randomly. Prefers being alone even to the company of his brother. Cracks a ton of jokes mostly about dark humor, suicides, murder, and the like. Has no qualms about harming women and children.

Specializes in short range weaponry, such as his duel machetes. Though he does carry around some ranged weapons, mostly molotov cocktails (He’s a pyromaniac) and flare guns. (He carries around a lot of unconventional weaponry, mostly because he’s into the Schadenfreude he gets from watching people die from a signal flare to the crotch, among other things.)

He uses a unicycle for transportation. He’s environmentally friendly.

Oleen - Pronounced “Oh leen”, is this au’s version of papyrus. Shares complexion with Guzz and has a Jamaican accent. Has no hair whatsoever, and is taller and bulkier then Guzz.

Wears jungle camouflage, and a camo-coonskin cap.

Guzz’s rowdy brother. He does everything Guzz doesn’t, such as watching over their turf, (which Guzz actually does do, but on the opposite end. Guzz has the north, Oleen has the South.) cooking, and setting traps. The traps aren’t puzzles however, and mostly consist of minefields, c4, and hang gliders with c4 strapped onto them. Oleen doesn’t fight you on the Saviour route, because: “Hey, anyone friends with my bro’s bound to be cool!” Fights you on the loyal route for killing off all the animals in his hunting grounds.

Specializes in long ranged weaponry - Sniper rifles, rocket launchers, flamethrowers, pretty much anything that kills something out of arms reach.

Ijs - This au’s variation of undyne. Has a lightish blue complexion due to hanging around in the underground ice caves on the island. Has an inhuman resistance to the cold. We’re talking 100*F below freezing cold resistance. Is shorter then Oleen, taller then Guzz, and more buff then almost anyone else on the island. Has Russian in the bloodline and accent.

Wears a light blue tank top trimmed to show her belly button, along with sapphire short shorts. 

The second most docile human on this isle. Only really starts attacking something once pushed a bit too far, while hunting, or in self defense. Loves pillows and even has a collection of them. Does fight the main character on both routes, on the savior route because she thought you were peeking on them bathing, and on the loyal route because she watched Oleen bleed out in front of her. You fight her once you catch up to her in her ice cave.

Specializes in - you guessed it - ice spears.

Aria - this au’s variation of alphys. Has a tan complexion, speaks in a stutter combined with elmer fudd syndrome. Shorter and fatter then Guzz. Doesn’t have a hunch back. Carries an octopus shaped relic on a string around her neck. The relic is the size of a baseball.

Wears a lab coat over some sort of skintight red suit.

The first most docile human on the isle. Doesn’t even hunt. She makes drugs. Doesn’t even fight the player at all. She’s skilled in botany and science stuff. Makes all sorts of syringes for sale, such as Healing, breathing underwater, and even tracking other humans through scent.

Specializes in getting possessed by the next character.

Greckohm - This au’s version of gaster. Aria’s and Ijs’ father. In his current state, he’s nothing more then a mass of black goo with yellow eyes. Speaks in The Queen’s English. (English with a British Accent) His build is essentially GutsMan from megaman. Resides inside of Aria’s octopus relic.

Has no clothing.

Wants nothing more then to be whole again. Not like he’s desperate or anything. He wouldn’t even think of killing to become whole, instead opting to try and steer Aria to attempt to free him out of a mix of being stubborn and (technical, i.e, don’t actually kill anyone) pacifism. Fights the player in place of Aria. In the savior route because he thinks you’re an intruder, and in the Loyal route due to you murdering Aria.

Specializes in being in Dr. Wily’s wet dreams, and punching stuff.

Olahm - au’s asgore. Taller then even Oleen, and is bulkier then Ijs. Wears a t-shirt and shorts.(He likes to keep things simple.) Speaks in a southern american accent.

Just wants off the island. He won’t murder children, no matter what. His wife died ages ago along with his son. According to sightings, his other son should be alive. Desperate to see his second child, and routinely wanders all around the island looking for him. He doesn’t fight the player during the savior route, and helps them out throughout the second half of their journey. You first encounter him right after Guzz tests you, looking around for his child. Is killed in the loyal run due to landing on top of him with a water ski.

Specializes in shotguns. He prefers pump action.

Ramona - Takes the place of Toriel in this au. She’s completely unrelated to Olahm. Wears firefighter uniforms, (she has multiple outfits from looting the dead from her boat crash.) and used to be one. Her height and bulk/weight is between Guzz and Oleen. Speaks in a Canadian accent.

She crashed into this weird wooden maze with a roof on it. She made it her home, and fishes for food. There’s this one intersection in the middle of the maze she sleeps in. She doesn’t know what’s on the other side of the door at the end of the maze, and she doesn’t intend to know. She has a visitor quite often. He speaks in a Jamaican accent. Neither fights nor is killed by the player on either run. (The reason Guzz say’s the player looks like they can handle themselves already on the Loyal run is if the player decides to kill a group of sharks in the water during the Wooden Maze.)

If she ever needs to fight, she uses a fire axe. She practices with it often.

??? - this au’s chara. Has a pale complexion due to a lack of sun exposure. Is named after the animal the player has killed the most. If they haven’t killed any animals, or has killed different animals an equal number of times, will be named Klun-on.(His default name) Build and Bulk is nearly the same as Guzz. Has tattoos on his arm, allowing him to mind read. Cause why not? Speaks in a southern accent.

Tattoo color - Purple-Pink. Uses string magic, and customized his tattoos to give him the mind reading and construct magic.

Wears a red tank top with a purple tornado pattern going around the entire body, and a pair of purple cargo shorts with red pockets.

Is a jokester, and likes to tease. Serves as the final boss of the loyal route, and doesn’t fight on the savior route. He actively avoids Olahm, because he thinks dad still blames him for his brother’s death. His brother was mauled by a bear, and Klun-on was too scared to try and stop said bear. Has been holed up in a cave ever since. Has several joke routines he goes through, such as using his Magical Tattoo Mind Reading Powers to find out what the mark’s fetish is, then taunting them about being a “sinner.” It get’s under several people’s skin more often then you’d think. Not many people know how not to be aggravated by this sort of thing on the isle. The player character stays with them for a portion of the savior route journey, being healed by him in his cave after a massive explosion.

If he’s angry enough, or trying to scare someone, his eyes will start leaking blood.

Has a downright fetish for anything with a handle and a sharp point.

(Can also use the Tattoos to generate a neon purple computer construct running on magic. He really likes playing disgaea. He’s only on the first game though.)

 GUZZ AND RAMONA

The barrier has a glitched spot in it. Ramona’s maze is actually supposed to be behind the barrier, but due to the glitch, the barrier never seems to really exist anywhere near the Maze. One day, Guzz got lost trying to find a deer he was tracking. He found the bridge leading to Ramona’s maze, and followed it straight to the maze’s exit door. He knocked on it, for no real reason, and Ramona answered, calling out “Who’s there?” Afterwards, Guzz visits alot, and they tell stories to each-other.

OKAY, YEP THAT’S ENOUGH FOR NOW, I WANT MY LIFE BACK

Thanks for reading! Comments and critiques are appreciated. I think.