#though that would be quite the opposite of how i personallt would react probably... my complexes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

windupaidoneus · 11 months ago

Text

this need for approval is a fucking disease it is absolutely mind boggling that i need feedback on what i say & post or my mind decides everyone takes a look at it & goes yep here goes this annoying freak again talking about his annoying freak things. & im not even like that with everyone. it literally does not fucking matter oh my goddd grow UP! im normal now. i understand my minds machinations. misto is nodding in approval at me

#i do not have this kind of insecurity with anyone in bitches. it is baffling that im letting it get such power on me elsewhere #i know its because of the difference in familiarity & like. knowing bitches much longer. & the fact we are from the same community #it is definitely a trust issue in this case but there isnt really a fix for it. except trying to get closer to everyone i guess?#but that would feel forced. i mean i love making friends & i love having close friends & i do not like feeling like this #but im also not gonna force friendships just so i can stop being insecure. its ridiculous conceptually #not that i have beef with anybody of course. just not sure anybody would care to get closer to me atm #considering what people have seen of me i would very much understand the opposite. not in a self conscious way #though that would be quite the opposite of how i personallt would react probably... my complexes #apologies for ruminating on my thought process in front of tha whole world to see but admittedly u did not have to read it.#i suppose ive gotten worries waap was mad at me in recent ish times but the thing w waap is that if theres an issue ill know #& like. waap & i are like two peas in a pod like they say... its presence makes me overall more comfortable & safe #damn. does it realise how important it is to me. emotional break im tearing up thinking about it fuckkk i love my friends #bahhhh okay anyway... i love my bitches. my god. ppl complain about that server's channel system #but its my beautiful maze where my beautiful friends are... & i can trust them so so much i have a channel for being a hater...#fukkkkckkck did i woke up sappy as fuck what is going ONNNN ahhhh i love mynfriedns collapses to my kenes #IS IT SO BAD TO WANT MORE FRIENDS TO LOVE JUST AS MUCH!!!! & TO TRUST AS MUCH!!

5 notes · View notes