#thoughts five hours after 3pm

[that-one-moth]

Fourth Round of Palestinian Families!

Link to the other post(s): Round One, Round Two, Round Three, Round Five, Round Six,

@yasminalbalawiigaza @ghaziyounes1967 @abedallhferwanagaza @yosefresh @savepalestineinfamily19 @islamgazaaccount3 @rafatalswissi @samaagaza @emanfamily81

Free Palestine! 🇵🇸🍉❤️

[fayes-fics]

When The World Is Free: Chapter 5 - Sans Y Penser

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Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, WW2 AU.

Warnings: none really... mildly angsty situations, some flirting and interesting proposals.

Word Count: 2.9k

Author’s Note: Multi-chapter fic based on a request by the lovely @amillcitygirl! Please see the masterpost for a synopsis of this story. HERE BE PLOT. A lot of things happen in this one afternoon. Thanks to @colettebronte for beta reading. Enjoy!

Le Havre, September 1939

The port city of Le Havre is bustling with travellers hauling suitcases and steamer trunks, all walks of life converging on this point of exit. You weave through the crowds from the train station as a trio, headed for the bright red awnings of the company sailing to the USA. Benedict and Eloise hang back as you approach the ticket window. 

“Name?” the brusque man in the booth opens with a crisp American accent.

“Y/n y/l/n,” you smile politely.

“You are not on the manifest,” he sighs after a pause to scan down the paperwork, impatience colouring his tone.

“But I must be,” you frown, “I was given this here…” 

You push your ticket under the window, clearly marked with today’s date. 

“Fraudsters,” his economic response.

“But… they were from your company? Outside your offices in Paris? And wearing your company livery? They… They said I could bring forward my sailing date from August to today. They took my original ticket and gave me this! It looks the same!” Panic rises in your voice with each sentence, dread churning behind your ribs as you realise you have likely been duped. 

“I'm sorry, ma’am, but that is not a valid ticket,” is his monotone reply.

“Oh god. What can I do? May I buy another ticket now?!?”

His responding laugh is a loud bark, “Hah! Ma’am, we are booked up for weeks in advance. There is a long line every day of people hoping for last-minute availability,” he signals to a line of weary-looking, luggage-laden folks under a makeshift shelter.

“But I….” you feel your eyes watering and dread in the pit of your stomach like you are falling down an endless chasm. 

“Ma’am, please step aside; I need to ensure valid passengers can board this ship…” he warns in a tone that is wholly without sympathy.

With a weak nod, you stumble away, back towards Benedict and Eloise. As you draw closer, their faces are a picture of concern, realising something is amiss. As you tearfully recount what happened, Benedict seethes, and Eloise wraps her arm around you, looking pained. 

“I’m going up there. This is unacceptable!” Benedict grits out, righteous indignation fizzing from his very being.

You have to hold out a hand to physically stop him. “It's likely no use,” you appease.

His ire deflates a fraction at your hold on his coat sleeve. “At least let me try, y/n,” he modifies after a few beats.

“Alright,” you relent, dropping your hand, “but I do not expect a different answer.”

You and Eloise cling to each other as you watch Benedict remonstrate with the same man and then a different one at the window. All the while, your stomach is in knots, equal parts fear and hope.

It's five or more minutes before Benedict returns to you, his face pinched.

“I was not successful,” he screws his mouth, looking away as if he cannot meet your eye as he says it. “They don't seem to care that criminals are posing as agents for their organisation,” he rubs his eyebrow in irritation. “I would report it to the police, but it's not their jurisdiction here, and it still does not solve our dilemma…”

“Thank you anyway…” you breathe, “for trying at least…”

There is a long silence as the three of you stand there, stupified by the conundrum before you. The chime of a clock on the harbour building breaks your thoughts.

“It's 3pm. Your sailing back to England is in less than an hour. You should go. You two leave without me,” you demure.

“NO!” they both exclaim in almost comic sibling unison.

“I’ll be fine, seriously.”

“I’m not leaving you alone here for god knows how long until there is room on a ship to America. You can’t be alone. This isn’t Paris; this is a port city. It’s definitely not safe,” Eloise rattles off, looking at you imploringly.

“She’s right,” Benedict concurs. “You were safe in Paris together before the war. You are not safe here. A beautiful young woman. You are a target for thieves or even worse. You cannot stay here alone.”

You try your hardest not to let Benedict calling you beautiful derail your whole thought train, but it’s futile. Your mind is scattered like a pile of wooden toy railway coaches.

“I... I could return to Paris?” You finally suggest after what feels like an eternity of buffering. “I could call to check for last-minute availability every morning. It’s only a couple of hours by train. I’ll be always packed and ready to go…” you argue, not as yet realising the naivety behind your own idea.

“Paris will be the first target for Hitler’s invasion,” Benedict says gravely. “It could be much worse to remain there…”

“So what am I to do? I’m damned if I do, and I’m damned if I don’t…”

“There is only one solution, and that is for us to remain here as well until you can secure passage out of the country,” Benedict shrugs.

“Agreed,” Eloise nods emphatically as you go to protest.

“There are many more sailings back to England, and tickets are easier to come by,” Benedict points out. “We can move our tickets up. At least by a few days until we can devise a plan.”

 “Wait… if there are no ships to America, why don't you come to England with us?” Eloise pipes up in a lightbulb moment.

“I have nowhere I could stay…” 

“Nonsense! You will stay with us at Aubrey Hall. Won’t she, Benedict?”

“Oh yes, of course. There are plenty of spare rooms,” he assures.

“Gosh, umm... Maybe? I…” you hesitate. The whiplash of the last few minutes and the generosity of their offer momentarily overwhelm you. “That's very generous of you. The problem is I don’t know for how long it would be, or even if I should. My parents only agreed to me living in Paris under the watchful eye of Solene. This… this is entirely other…”

You startle as Benedict places his hands on your shoulders, pulling your attention to his sincere expression. “Y/n, you need to worry less about what your family thinks and more about yourself - what you need and your safety. This is escaping impending war; it’s a completely different circumstance from how you arrived here. The decisions you make right now have to be selfish and unburdened by expectations. It’s easy for others to judge from the distance of safety. But look around you. This town is teeming with people clambering to leave the country before an invasion. We do what we have to in unpredictable circumstances to survive.”

“You sound like a soldier,” you murmur.

“It’s what my father was,” he replies, releasing his grip but not moving away. “As a very young man in The Great War. He was lucky to survive, being an officer away from the front lines, but he taught me many things before he died. And one was about always making the smart choice if you can see one, even if it feels uncomfortable. The smart choice here is to escape by any means necessary. We all know Hitler has his sights set on France, especially Paris, as the figurative and cultural capital of Europe. You must get out. You must come with us.” You are captivated by his hazy eyes as he speaks, your heart beating fast as his face and voice grow softer. “Please. I could not live with myself if we left you behind,” he admits in a much quieter tone, but the plea is no less impassioned.

You cannot help it. You stare up at him, transfixed. Stanley has never been so eloquent. Or indeed so invested in your well-being. 

“Alright…” your hesitancy soft, “but you must let me pay you for my ticket…”

His face seems to light up at your acquiescence. “One day… maybe,” he smiles.

And so that is what he does - leaves you and Eloise ensconced in a nice bistro overlooking the harbour with a large bottle of white wine as he walks over to the ticket office for the ferry company and swaps their tickets for a few days hence and purchases an additional ticket for you, steadfastly refusing to tell you the cost for it even for many weeks hence.

While you are in the ladies' room, Eloise strikes up a conversation with a young man in uniform at the adjacent table; you fondly roll your eyes as you retake your seat and leave them be. Your gaze, however, is never far from the window, to where Benedict last left your line of sight, somehow anxious for his return.  When he reappears, striding purposefully towards the cafe, your chest flutters hard, his coat swishing around his legs, his hat at an attractive slant. If there is one thing you swear you could spend a lifetime doing, it’s watching Benedict Bridgerton just… be. 

“Any luck?” you ask as he arrives and doffs his hat, taking a seat on your other side, throwing an exasperated glance at his little sister and the uniformed man.

“We are set to sail Thursday,” he smiles and signals for the waiter, ordering a glass of Beaujolais. “I also stopped in the post office to call Solene. She has said we can stay as long as we need to at her sister’s cottage a few miles from town.”

“Oh, that's wonderful news!” your shoulders relax for the first time in what feels like hours. “But wait, I remember she said there is only one bedroom,” you point out. “You’ve been sleeping on our sofa for days now… you deserve a bed. I’ll take the sofa…”

“No. Also, I’m not sharing a bed with my sister,” he shudders, “she kicks in her sleep!”

“Oh, thanks. So I guess you want me to have bruised shins, then??” You laugh with gusto, the ricochet day making all your emotions heightened, seemingly bouncing from one extreme to another. Right now, a strange bubble of joy at this lighthearted exchange.

“Not at all. In fact, I’d happily share with you instead to save your legs from the abuse!” 

You know it’s said in jest, the comedic relief of the moment evident on his face, but still, a shot fires in your chest at the thought of sharing a bed with him. You decide to make light of it, even as your heart quickens.

“How do I know this kicking is not a problem that runs in the family? And you’re way stronger than her!”

“You can tie me down if it would make you feel better!” he chuckles loudly. 

You flush all over, the very thought so beguiling yet scandalous. And yet you cannot stop your mouth running away with you, this flirtatious banter too tasty to resist, the wine you’ve been drinking far too quickly for the last half hour loosening your lips.

“I think you would enjoy that far too much, Mr Bridgerton,” you volley back, raising an eyebrow with a giggle.

His cheeks turn the most adorable shade of pink even as his eyes dilate rapidly, a corner of his tongue flicking out to pull his bottom lip under his teeth. It makes you want to sink your teeth right there, this impulse to be so physical with someone discombobulating. You've never had such errant, feral desires for Stanley. 

“You're probably right…” he rumbles quietly after a pause. 

You dare to hold his gaze even though you know it’s a mistake. This nightmare of a day makes you uncaring of propriety. He looks as wild as you feel inside, a glint in his eye that is at once permission and danger. 

“Theo here has been telling me all sorts of helpful information,” Eloise leans in, breaking the spell between you, a slight slur in her voice from her wine. 

Theo nods to you and Benedict. On closer inspection, he appears to be in a British soldier uniform. 

“I have to get back on duty,” he explains apologetically as he rises from his seat, “but I hope the information I’ve provided to your sister here will help.” He adds with a tiny salute.

You look surprised at Eloise as she just shrugs. You thought her up to her usual flirtatious banter, not researching. Benedict looks impressed too. You both, however, don’t miss the note he slips to Eloise before he takes his leave. Perhaps not purely intelligence gathering, then.

“Theo is helping process entry to Britain for foreign nationals wanting safe harbour. The numbers have spiralled since the war was declared.” She begins to explain when he is out of sight. “There is sadly a waiting list. But there are a few ways to skip the queue…

“Those being?” Benedict prompts before you can.

“Having family relatives residing in Britain already or, top of the pile, being the spouse of a British national.”

You slump your shoulders. “I have no relations there. Uncle Robert was visiting, but he was already at sea returning to America when the war was declared,” you explain, wishing he had stayed a few weeks longer.

“I wonder if we can find any paperwork forgers around?” Eloise ponders aloud.

“Eloise,” Benedict's tone is one of brotherly warning and disapproval, “we will not be taking that route.” his tone striking a chord of finality.

“But… how else can we get her into the country without bending the rules?” she exclaims at him, frustrated, gesticulating.

“I’m thinking…” Benedict grouses back, rubbing his chin and looking deep in thought.

Eloise leans back in her chair and twists her mouth into a pout. She takes a swig of wine before twisting to you and casually making a suggestion that flips your entire being.

“You could marry this one,” she jokes, shrugging and gesturing at Benedict. 

Your eyes dart to Benedict and his to you. A tidal wave of a hundred different feelings crashing through you at once.

“I’ll do it…” he offers, quick and quiet.

“El, don't be ridic…” your denial, spoken over his, dies on your tongue as you process what he said. 

You can't help it, you gape open-mouthed at him. As does Eloise.

“You would?” you stutter.

He nods, mien sincere, but you could swear there is more, too, a rousing intensity.

“I was joking, brother,” Eloise frowns.

“It's the only solution that guarantees her passage out of France,” he argues, “that's the most important thing here…”

“But marriage? That is such a sacrifice… I could never ask that of you…”  you shake your head, even as your stomach feels like a rollercoaster.

“That's why I'm offering, so you don't have to ask,” he shrugs as if this is not a big deal. “It is not me who has to make the sacrifice. It is you who has an intended…”

Stanley.

Your face falls as you think of the consequences. Marrying Benedict, if only for escape, would wound Stanley beyond belief. Your father, both your parents, in fact, would vehemently disapprove. 

“We can annul it as soon as we get to England…” he assures.

“French marriages can be annulled, brother, yes, but in France. Not in England,” Eloise pipes up, ever the font of knowledge.

“Then I will grant you an immediate divorce,” he amends.

“I can't believe you are taking me seriously,,,” Eloise mutters, but both of you seem to ignore it.

“I’d still be a divorcee, damaged goods as my father would say…” you wince at the phrase but know it to be accurate in Long Island, as much as you hate it.

“I don't know how else to help you escape, y/n,” Benedict implores, slightly alarmed. 

“Keep thinking!” Eloise interjects hotly. “I won't have my poor best friend here shackled to a Bridgerton brother. She has done absolutely nothing to deserve such a sentence, however short.”

“Eloise!” you scold without thought, “don't be so rude about your brother! He's wonderful….”

You immediately flush with embarrassment as she looks at you suspiciously. You dare not even look over to the subject of your praise, but you can feel the weight of his stare.

“But umm yes, let's keep thinking…” you mumble, embarrassed, looking down and picking at your cuticles in your lap.

“I need a bloody cigarette,” Eloise pronounces, suddenly standing up, her chair scraping loudly over the tiled floor.

“Sister, you do not smoke,” Benedict frowns up at her, again with that air of elder sibling forbearance.

“Sometimes I do,” she shrugs, her tone defiant, “and this situation definitely warrants one.” She jabs her finger by her side to emphasise her opinion.

With that, she marches up to the bar and orders one but does not return to the table, shooting you both a look before heading to the wall outside and sitting alone, staring out at the horizon and taking deep draws.

You and Benedict sit in silence, heads bowed in thought for what feels like an age, only interspersed with small sips of wine. 

“I honestly can't think of another way out of this mess…” Benedict sighs, breaking the hush. “But I understand it's such an enormous decision; you need time to consider it.”

You are scared by how much your heart and mind are screaming, ‘I really don't, I will marry you,’ even if your gut churns with the idea of how you will explain it to everyone. You look up, and again, those blue eyes bore into yours. Sincerity, concern, empathy, and something that looks dangerously like desire. You could get lost in that look. Forever.

“I’ll do it…” you whisper, knowing you are playing with fire… and yet yearning to be burned.

Benedict taglist: @foreverlonginguniverse @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @kmc1989 @desert-fern @starkeylover @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @amygdtjhddzvb @sya-skies @balladynaaa

[cherrylng]

Urgent Interview - Matthew Bellamy - Muse [BUZZ (May 2001)]

MUSE

TEXT BY KOJI NAKAMOTO PHOTOGRAPHS BY MASAKAZU YOSHIBA

From the beautiful construction of “Showbiz” to the destructive impulse of “Plug In Baby”, and the long-awaited new album!? We flew to the final recording site for an urgent interview!!

“Consciousness creates matter and elements, evolving them to the highest order. Millions of years ago, a star exploded as a supernova, and the current solar system was created. That's why the molecules in our bodies and everything in the solar system are all connected and have one consciousness.”

What on earth are you talking about, Matthew!? He is convinced that the hard recording work didn't drive him insane, but that this is the theme of his new album, so pay attention to the next stage of MUSE in this latest interview and report!

Text = Koji Nakamoto Photography = Masakazu Yoshiba Interpretation = Erika Yamashita Translation = Akane Suzuki

The perfection of the first album “Showbiz”, which was a form of excessive dramatics with one foot in “aesthetic” and the other in the beauty of a neatly structured sound, was unleashed in the overwhelming dynamism of their live shows. The overwhelming dynamism of their live shows, in which they unleashed this structure and slammed it down violently and solidly - this difference that was revealed at their first Japan tour in March last year at Shibuya On Air West, is what makes MUSE the most eagerly awaited new generation of UK guitar rock. Creation and destruction, as it were. The easy description of the band as “Radiohead followers” from their first show is no longer used by those who have actually experienced their live shows. However, it is their second album that will of course test their true worth. The exhilarating punk approach of the preceding single, “Plug In Baby”, clears that hurdle with ease. This is what MUSE is all about! With expectations even higher, the album is almost ready for release at the end of May. The end of May, well, we publish every other month, so I'd like to do something for the April 18th issue…… I was muttering to myself when a woman from the record company said, ‘The sound won't arrive in Japan until early April, but if you come to the local studio, they'd be happy to let you listen to a rough recording’. I'll go! So I quickly organised a three-day, one-night trip to the UK to cover MUSE. Yes, due to my personal schedule, it turned out to be a hell of an itinerary as follows.

March 23rd. I left Japan after a full night of work. 12 hours later, I arrived at London Heathrow Airport. It was 3pm local time that day. After waiting for two hours for photographer Yoshiba-san, who arrived on a different flight, we headed to Cornwall, where MUSE's studio is located. It was a four-hour drive from the airport, and as we were waiting for the car prepared by the local staff, an Indian man with a turban on his head said, “Me, me!” Hmmm, suspicious. He looked like a working-class man from the sultanate, which made me strangely uneasy. My fears are confirmed. We drove at such a high speed that I thought, “Are we going to die in an accident?”, and then we got lost, and after five or six hours there was no sign that we had arrived at all. From time to time, my manager would call me on his mobile and say, “There's no way it's going to take this long. So, what should we do about the interview?”. Yes, the original plan was for the listening and interview to start around midnight, but we've already kept Matthew waiting for two hours. We were gradually getting closer to our destination, but the road was getting narrower and darker, and although I had heard it was by a lake in the mountains, the studio was in the middle of nowhere. When passing an oncoming car on the bay road, the rear wheel slipped and almost fell on the sea debris, and yet Sultan said “Don't worry, don't worry,” and I couldn't help but feel like wanting to abolish my non-violence principles. It was midnight when we finally arrived at the hotel near the studio. In other words, after staying up all night, it was a 12-hour flight, a 2-hour wait, a 7-hour deadly road, and Matthew was left waiting for 3 hours. I thought I couldn't do the interview today, but then the manager offered, “You have to fly early tomorrow, otherwise your business in Japan will be affected, right? Let's do it now.” What a nice guy. “We usually cross the lake from here to the studio by boat, but it's low tide now, so let's walk around the lakeside to make a detour. It shouldn't take more than half an hour.” Outside, it's raining. The four of us are walking on the railway line in the seriously pitch black mountainous area, shining our torches. Just as I was thinking, “Are we like in Stand By Me, looking for a dead body?” I slipped and said, “Hey, hey, hey, be careful, man. If you step off, you'll end up in the lake. You can't even get help in the dark.” Ah, THE BODY. When we finally arrived at the studio, it was after 1am. Matthew is away, just in the middle of mixing. The other members of the band, the staff, and Matthew's girlfriend are all relaxing in the reception living room, watching TV and playing billiards. Anyway, everyone is cheerful and friendly, and there is no tense mood at all. We were allowed to listen to the music while Matthew was finishing up. In the end, at this point we only get to hear five songs - ‘Citizen Erased’, ‘New Born’, ‘Screenager’, ‘Space Dementia’ and ‘Forth & Multiply’. However, the content was completely contrary to my expectations. I thought it would be a live dynamism explosion along the lines of Plug In Baby! But rather, it was an extremely experimental approach that took the construction of the first album even further. There is heavy rock, electro, polyrhythms, operatic flavours, and church music, and three out of the five songs were over six minutes long. Although it seems to contradict what I said at the beginning of the article, my honest impression was, “Is this the MUSE version of ‘OK Computer’?” The song titles are also somewhat meaningful. How should I position this? I was wondering about that when Matthew appeared and said “Yes”. He was also very friendly and smiling. He didn't show any sign of fatigue at all, even after working so late at night, and he dashed around nimbly every time he had to move a little. “Well, shall we get started now?” I'm sorry for making you wait for five hours, Matthew.

●Are you in the middle of the final mixing now? 「Mm-hm.」

●Then tonight's the big night. 「Well, I think it's probably going to be on Monday. Even though it's finished, we're still in the mastering stage, and at most we've only just decided on the song order, so we won't really be free to say ‘We did it!’ and release it until the artwork and everything else is finished and I can actually hold it in my hands and look at it.」

●You seem to be doing well though. It's 2am and you seem totally fine. You don't seem worn out from recording. I wonder if you're feeling great. 「Yes (laughs), it's fun every day. Physically I'm pretty tired, but the hardest part is the recording. It's exhausting when you're playing for hours on end, and I also have to record vocals. Now that's done, I can just think about mixing.」

●The ideas for presenting a new side of MUSE were already in place. 「Most of the songs were written before we went into the studio, but when we actually started, it was just a case of making more and more changes. It wasn't until we started mixing that we finally had a full picture of what the album was going to be like. So it's true that half of the songs were prepared in advance, but the other half was done while we were working in the studio. 」

●In the beginning, you said that you wanted to change the producer for each song on the recording of this album. 「Yeah, we decided to take at least two different approaches. We talked about having three producers, but in the end we settled on two. One who would bring MUSE to the forefront as a live band, and one who was good at experimenting. So the songs that David Bottrill did had a live feel to them, and the other half, John Leckie, brought out aspects of MUSE that we hadn't done before. I guess David's is the same heavy rock―as he's always been. But the one produced by John Leckie is really a lot more varied, from acoustic, soft songs to electronic stuff. Well, to sum it up (laughs), I guess we have two faces: a live band and a studio-focused experimental band.」

●When I first heard that David Bottrill had been chosen, I thought, ‘Wow’. He's in Tool, isn't he? Are you interested in or sympathetic to American heavy rock? It might have something to do with the fact that you toured with some of the biggest names in the US right after your debut. 「Oh, that's not it. The reason I chose David Bottrill is…… to me, his sound sounds very British. We're very far removed from the UK rock of the last decade, especially the Britpop scene. A lot of people think that's what UK rock is, but I'm influenced by bands from much earlier, like David Bowie, The Police, and Queen (laughs). British rock was originally a very broad genre.」

●Last year you said in an interview that you “sympathise with Slipknot,” but was that just a joke? 「Uh, when was that? Oh, yeah. Last year, it felt like we were excited for a moment, but that was it (laughs). Dominic bought the Slipknot album while we were on tour, and he put it in front of the stage, and we all thought it was hilarious. But we were only listening to it half-jokingly (laughs).」

●Actually, when I interviewed Slipknot, I told them that a British band called MUSE had praised them, and they were very surprised and asked, “Why would a British band praise us?” And when I told them that MUSE was a very sensitive band, they said, “So they found our sensitive side? If so, I'm honoured.” 「(laughs)」

●You said earlier that your roots are more in the 70s than in the 90s British movement, but MUSE's music is excessively dramatic, which is rare nowadays, isn't it? 「Yes. I've listened to all kinds of music, regardless of which country it's from. Actually, the reason I said that is because so-called Britpop took a very inward-looking, arrogant, almost dangerous, perspective of the British national character. On the other hand, the sound of American music has recently become very typical American music. Basically, after Nirvana ended, the UK press started to push the idea that ‘British bands are going to rule the world’. I think that was one of the worst periods in the history of British music. It was all arrogant and self-centered, and as a result, British bands ended up with a bad image from a global perspective. Especially in America, so-called Britpop bands are perceived as being very stupid, and the problem is that when bands like MUSE play shows in the US, the first people to come are the ones expecting Britpop. So it's not that I particularly like the 70s, but starting with The Beatles, The Police, Radiohead…… In short, I sympathise with people who are doing music because they want to make good music. I think the Britpop bands were very aggressive in that sense, promoting their lifestyle and saying that UK music is the best in the world…… I don't want to do that, I just sympathise with people who make music that isn't for that purpose.」

●So you appreciate Radiohead? 「Yeah, I like them a lot. I've had their music since their early days, around ‘Pablo Honey’. I wasn't as into ‘OK Computer’ and ‘Kid A’ as I used to, but I still think they're a great band.」

●When MUSE debuted, you were often seen as followers of Radiohead, but some criticised you for being too pessimistic towards Radiohead. On the other hand, MUSE, in terms of message, you said that you would rather convey hope. 「Yes, that's right. MUSE's music has a deep desire to resonate with people. Life is both very hard and fun, and we want to convey the beauty in humanity. I don't think we have a negative view of humanity. But in the case of Radiohead…… Hmmm, I don't know, maybe they criticise themselves when they get on stage, or feel embarrassed about what they're doing. But you see, I'm totally fine with jumping around on stage and dressing weird (laughs). I don't mind looking like an idiot on stage (laughs).」

●So, we've just listened to five songs from your new album. 「Yes, this one (‘Forth & Multiply’), the title might change. Maybe it'll be ‘Paradise’. Well, ‘New Born’ is the only one that David Bottrill did that's rather experimental and different. It's similar to ‘Plug In Baby’ or ‘Darkshines’. All together, I think t'll be a 50-minute album with 10 songs. Oh, there's one more song for Japan, so it's 11 (laughs). Actually, we recorded 16 songs.」

●I'm not good at English at all, so I couldn't understand the specific lyrics, but I thought there would be a strong message just from the title. ‘Citizen Erased’ is a typical example of this, and if ‘Forth & Multiply’ really changes into ‘Paradise’, it would have a very symbolic meaning. 「Hehehehe.」

●Is there a storyline or theme to the album as a whole? 「I recently read two books, which may have inspired the song titles. One of the books is…… Um, it's a geometry book, and it's about trying to understand the universe from a different dimension. It's a book about deepening our understanding of the fourth dimensional world and the concept of time. I've always been interested in the concept of time. A long time ago I saw “2001: A Space Odyssey”…… You know this film, the one with the white pyramid tower (※monolith) that appears and disappears. So, my interpretation is that this tower is an object that exists in the fourth dimension, and it appears and disappears in front of us humans…… Ah, that's hard to explain (laughs). It would be better if I explained it…… right? As expected (laughs).」

●(laughs) Please. 「Well, let's say you have a sheet of paper, this is a two-dimensional world. If you draw a picture of a person on it, that person is living in a two-dimensional world. And if you suddenly project a three-dimensional object to this two-dimensional person, it will only look like a line that is getting bigger and smaller to this person. Right? So I thought, the tower in the film is really a four-dimensional object, but when it is brought into our three-dimensional world, we can only see it momentarily. If you think about it in this way, you can surely understand celestial bodies. When I was very young, I used to do a kind of meditation once a month or once a year, where I would concentrate my thoughts and go into a very deep place momentarily. And every time I went into that, I would come face to face with myself in a different place at a different time. So I was able to have a momentary experience of my experiences in different places. So I tried to find similarities between what's happening to me now and what's happening to me in different times. By ignoring the time axis, I tried to find a symmetry between life and the origin of the universe. I also looked for symmetries between nuclei and electrons, and similarities between stars and planets. In short, I wanted to understand what was going on in the world. And there's a theme that I've been thinking about for a long time, which is the meaning of life, and my interpretation of it changes all the time. But at the moment, it's about consciousness creating matter and elements and evolving them to the highest order. In other words, in the beginning there was only one big surface consisting only of energy and elements, which is the Big Bang, and then the small scattered things gradually became atomic nuclei, and then electrons started to revolve around them, and then they became atoms. I think that each of these things had a consciousness, and because of that consciousness, they sought out other substances and elements and tried to combine them. Then the various substances combined to form different molecules, which each consciously tried to combine again and sublimated at a higher level, eventually becoming stars. I think this is the reason why we humans have consciousness. We are made up of a collection of different molecules and elements, which affect and collide with each other in a chaotic way. We are searching for a kind of higher order. It's because we want to be free of the burden of consciousness. So, millions of years ago, a star went supernova and exploded, forming the solar system as we know it today. So all the molecules in our bodies and everything in the solar system used to be connected, they used to be one thing. And it had a proper consciousness. That's kind of what the theme is about.」*

●…….And that's something that you've been reading about lately? 「That's what I said at the beginning, but the rest is about what I've been thinking about lately. To put it very roughly, I'm trying to figure out why I exist here.」

●So that became the theme of the album? 「Yes, and that's what's always on my mind.」

●In an interview around the time of "Showbiz", you said that you were most interested in the coexistence of technology and the soul or religious things in your message and expression, but that you yourself don't really know which is correct. How have your values ​​in that regard changed since then? 「Yeah, maybe they're clearer now than they were before. What I've come to realise recently is that most religions have developed from different civilisations, and the problem is that they all believe in different things, and that's why there used to be wars all the time. One religion comes from one community, and another religion comes from another community, and the two chaotically try to influence each other and become one. In reality, one tries to swallow the other and dominate it. And when that happens, I think the future lies in technology and science. So I've been feeling lately that the answer might be technology.」

●Hmmm. 「However, I think it will be bad if humanity does not evolve with a kind of belief, or faith, or some positive way of thinking. Otherwise, there is a danger that a new entity, such as a new technology or a new computer, will be created, and when we realise it, it will surpass humans and destroy us all. Humanity has developed in a way that is suited only to this planet. So we need to evolve the human species by incorporating mutant genes and so on (laughs)—after all, humans have become able to evolve themselves with their own hands. In a few thousand years, we might invent something like a biological suit that will allow us to live on other planets (laughs). But the first step we have to do before that is…… It's already happening among younger people, but our generation has a global perspective. Fifty years ago, people would have only thought about their own country, but nowadays we have to think on a global scale, don't we? If we think in that way, maybe we can find solutions to environmental problems. Because we know that if we continue in the current state for hundreds of years, the Earth will become an uninhabitable place. Of course, I think it is possible to trust the future to science, but I don't think it should be something that eradicates anything. If human beings completely lose their spirituality and soul and just focus only on science and just invent some new technology again, I think it will drive us to our own extinction without us realising it…… Ah, but isn't that the same thing I said earlier (laughs)?」

●I think MUSE's sound up to now has basically been about how aggressive they could make it with a three-piece guitar sound. This time around, other elements such as electro and polyrhythms have been introduced, and while it contains technological and avant-garde elements, I think it also has a kind of holy sound to it, like church music. 「Yes, that's right. What I wanted to do with this album was just to combine the emotional, human, acoustic things with very old instruments and the latest high-tech. For example, ‘Screenager’ is acoustic all the way through, but then all of a sudden in the chorus it gets modern and there's a synthesiser arpeggio. I wanted to show the contrast between the technological and the spiritual, where you can hear the breath of humanity, in one short song.」

●"Screenager" has a novel percussion sound, but there was a statement in NME that the sound was made using human bones. Is that the song? 「Aahaha. That's a different song, a different song. Well, it's not human bones, but it is animal bones. From a femur or something. It's a Voodoo instrument or something.」

●If it's not human, what kind of bone is it? 「I think it's a cow, isn't it?」

●Did you use it not just for the sound, but also in the hope that it would give off a magical atmosphere that is unique to Voodoo? 「Yes (laughs). Well, I think it was used more as a contrast with technology. It probably won't be on the album, but it's a song I did as an improvisation. It's more than a song…… It's just a bunch of weird sounds, sort of thing (laughs). The singer is Lord Buckley, who used to be a preacher, but he's passed away. So I wrote three songs called “Collaboration with the Dead”. One of them is me singing along to a Chopin piano piece (laughs). Oh, none of these were for the album, I did them simply because I thought they were fun. Experimental, but nothing serious.」**

●But was it that “collaboration with the dead”? 「It was a “collaboration” (laughs). Working with a dead person, something comes out of me…… But I don't think this will ever be released (laughs).」

●Once you've finished this work, you're going on a UK tour straight away, do you plan to play a lot of the new songs? 「Yes. I think about half of the set will be new songs.」

●Will you be performing the songs live in a very different way from the album? 「I don't know yet. I've done ‘New Born’ and ‘Plug In Baby’ with David Bottrill pretty much exactly as on the record. But the one I did with John I haven't played on stage yet, so I don't know how it'll turn out. But hopefully it'll work.」

●So, I've listened to almost half of the 10 songs, but I wonder how my impression will change if I listen to the whole album. Will it feel more experimental, or…? 「I guess so…… Sorry, show me the tracklist again…… For example, if you compare ‘Citizen Erased’ and ‘Screenager’, one is a metallic, magnificent epic and the other is a short, sharp acoustic song, so they have very different grooves, don't they? In that sense, it's not so different from the impression I have now. In short, they are all very different from each other. There are two songs that are very electronic. But they're not purely electronic, they're more like Daft Punk + Jeff Buckley, or Daft Punk + Rage Against the Machine, or whatever, they're like a fusion of two very different sounds with very strong personalities. And I tried to combine two opposing elements together in all the songs, not just this one. ‘Space Dementia’ and ‘Citizen Erased’ are the most dramatic and flashy songs.」

●I'm looking forward to hearing them in full. So, while we were talking like this, it was already past 3am, how late are you working on it? 「I think I'm going to do a bit more. Today…… I think it'll be around 4:30, maybe even longer (laughs).」

●Well, we have a lot of filming tomorrow, so please look after us. 「Yeah. You're going on a boat, right? You guys should go back by boat too. The tide is coming in.」

●Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to do this so late at night. 「Oh, no, it's fine, no problem at all.」

After that, it was a comfortable boat ride back. I went back to the hotel, had a bath, took a two-hour nap and immediately returned back to Heathrow. It was just me. I told the lady in charge and Yoshiba-san, "Well, please take care of the filming," and went back to Sultan's hell. In the end, the return journey took 5 hours, followed by a lovely 12-hour flight ♡ Ah, I'm dying. So, how did the album turn out? The sound has finally arrived! For details, see page 214.

Muse Origin of Symmetry AVCM 65071 (AVEX) 6/6 RELEASE

The only neo-UK guitar that can go toe-to-toe with US Loud Finally, all the songs have arrived! First, I defecated on the opening song “New Born”. The classical beautiful melody gradually becomes more and more impressive, and from the second chorus onwards, the atmosphere changes completely. It's a crazy guitar eccentric show that ignores the normal song development. No one can stop Matthew. The chaos just gets more and more exciting. I'm sure I listened to “New Born” in a studio in Cornwall, but I don't know this song. I just wrote down the song titles on the MD disc that was handed to me, so maybe I was tricked by some subtle trick? There's no song called “Paradise” either. Well, the final mix changed the impression completely. If you remember MUSE's manliness from the preceding single “Plug In Baby”, bear in mind how well-balanced and good a pop tune it is on the album. It's hard for no reason, flamboyant for no reason, dramatic for no reason - yes, everything is just excessive. For example, who can resist laughing and crying at the operatic flamenco heavy rock of Track 7, “Micro Cuts”? There is a lot of experimentation in this album. But it is far from the normal human sense of balance. A torrent of unhinged ideas and passions far removed from ‘construction’ and ‘perfection’. Sorry for the comparison with “OK Computer”. Radiohead couldn't do something this stupid.

There was one thing I forgot to ask during the undercover studio interview. From this special feature, the most important question in a sense is, ‘How do you feel about MUSE being positioned as “punk”?’ The answer is obvious. Yes, this is what I think of as “punk”. It makes me laugh, it makes me happy. MUSE really laughed at the stuffiness and niceties of UK rock. It was wonderful. (Koji Nakamoto)

Dramaturgy like no other since Queen (seriously) Ever since I saw Matthew on stage playing his Floyd Rose-equipped Eddie Van Halen model at On Air West on their first visit to Japan, I've assumed and professed to myself that the key to this band's stage presence was how they could explode with their ‘metal self,’ but no-one ever shared my opinion. The intro of the first song made me want to shout ‘See, I knew it!’. But as the song progressed, I couldn't help but feel my eyes and ears start to glaze over. It wasn't just my metal soul that was exploding. In the previous album, punk, 70s rock, classical, Spanish, and opera were all somehow contained within the vessel of ‘guitar rock,’ but in this album, each element explodes one by one, shattering the vessel to pieces. The result is an excessively dramatic sound. Why does it have to be dramatic? Because otherwise it would be boring. Not music, but life. I don't want to live like I'm dead. By Misato Watanabe. Writing this makes me feel nostalgic and cold, but the fact is, it's only in moments like that that you realise that you're alive, or that you're being kept alive, but you can't help but feel that you're right here, right now. The intensity of the sound is also incredible. Or rather, it feels like the intensity is not dependent on ‘loud’ but enhanced by ‘dramatic’. It was MUSE who made hard rock that could compete with America, in a way that only the UK, or even Europe, could do. For what purpose? To bring back to the sound the ‘intensity’ that UK guitar rock has lost. Anyway, can you think of it? A sound like this. No, even if you could come up with it, would you do it? Or rather, could you do it? I don't think so, only MUSE can do it. (Shinji Hyogo)

Translator’s Note: Just the description of the journey alone that the journalist and photographer had to take to reach Sawmills Studios in Cornwall, where Muse was doing mixing then, is equal parts hilarious and uninspiring in the effort taken to get a listen to the rough recording of Origin of Symmetry, conduct an interview, and take photos of them LMAO. Still, it’s the ♡ at the end that made this so memorable to translate and read.

Thanks to that one Musecord member who helped me in discovering that ‘Megalomania’ previous alternative titles were ‘Go Forth & Multiply’ and ‘Paradise’!

*Yeah, translating this answer alone reminds me once again just how much of a conspiracy theorist Matt used to be. And I can’t blame the journalist for presumably looking at Matt as though he’d gone beyond just being an eccentric British.

**I translated this part and I couldn’t help but think that the description of this song sounded awfully familiar to what eventually became the three-piece suite that is “Exogenesis Symphony” in 2009. I’ve checked on MuseWiki, but no one knew of this. So is this possibly the earliest mention of “Exogenesis Symphony”? And its earliest title was called “Collaboration with the Dead”???

Please do support me via my ko-fi! ☕

[that-one-moth]

I love your therapist too. 😏

time for ✨therapy✨

[sweetandabitspycho]

Tej Parker x Reader

Warnings: bad writing, sad/comfort. First time doing a sad/comfort so be nice please.

“Why?" Tej asked trying to stay calm, but he was getting more aggravate. I was trying not to start a fight. Really I was. He stood blocking me from leaving.

"Because I need to get away." I said keeping an even voice. He looked hurt. He should. He needs to feel what I have been feeling. "From me? Why?" His voice cracked. "You haven't been honest with me. You are hiding something from me and I don't trust you completely really now." I said in a whisper. It hurt to say, but it was true. He was spending hours with his ex, to the point he was coming home at 5am.

"I can explain everything baby." His voice killed me. It was sad and broken. As if I had hit him. I wanted to die. I shook my head no. Too scared I would stay and break down.

"It's not want it looks like. Please!" He was about to cry. "No. Not right now. I can't." I said as he moved out of the way for me to walk out.

"I'm so sorry honey." Mia said cuddling into my side. "It's okay. I'll be okay." There was a knock on the bedroom door. "Come in." Mia said before Brian popped in with ice cream in hand. He gently kisses my head. "If you want I can shoot him, or have him shoot. I still have cop friends." He said laughing lightly, I couldn't bring myself to laugh but I said a no but thank you with a small smile.

After a while Mia left. I finally felt like I could cry.

It felt as if someone riped out my heart. I though we would be together until death and even then we would still be together. I thought he was it. The one.

I hugged the stupid stuffed bear he gave me. No, it wasn't making me feel better, I can't sleep without him. I felt safe with him. I pull my knees to my chest trying to get some sleep.

The next day.

I woke up to the sun peaky through the curtain. Rubbing my eyes I grabbed my phone to see the time. 12am, great lunch time. I saw I had five texted for Tej

Tej❤️ I'm sorry love it's not what it seems.

Tej❤️ I promise. I see how it can look like I'm cheating but I'm not.

Tej❤️ please just let me explain.

Tej❤️ I would never hurt you. I would die before please believe me.

Tej❤️ please just come meet me at our spot at 4. It will explain everything.

Our spot was a roof of an abandonment build. Maybe I should go. Should I go? What if it doesn't fix anything but brakes us more.

Before I could completely overthink going I got up off the bed and took a shower.

After I went down stairs to see Mia. She gave me a sad smile as she asked if I wanted coffee. I took it before telling her about Tej texting asking me to go at 4. She said I should and I agree with her. I should.

At 3pm I started to get dressed in a pair of shorts and a shirt that once belonged to Tej. At 3:20 I decided to head out after saying a quick goodbye. It only took 20 minutes to get there.

I started to climb up the four story building. It didn't take long to get to the top. That's when I saw it.

Tej stood at the table we had brought up for us, he was placing roses everywhere. He continued to place things on the table before I could tell him I was there he turned around.

He smiled at me, before walking towards me. "Please just let me explain, if you still want to break up I'll be okay. Just please let me explain." He said in a rush. I used to love it when he did that, but now It just made me want to hug him and tell him it's okay.

He took my silence as an answer then he started to explain. "I was not cheating. I know what it looks like but she was just helping me pick out your ring. I wanted to get the perfect ring and I didn't tell you I wanted it to be a surprise and I had it custom made for you, so please believe me." He said it so fast I almost didn't hear him. I hugged him before kissing him.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I thought that." I said hugging him tighter he gently pulled back before talking. "It's okay. I understand, I didn't realize how bad it looked until it was too late. I would have thought that too." I said getting on one knee. "Now will you please marry me?" I got down to his level before kissing him. "Of course! I love you so much!!"

[yellowloid]

my experience at am's show (rock in roma, ippodromo delle capannelle - 16/07/2023)

SO you know the drill by now this is the compulsory recap post i need to write because i'm terrified of forgetting about things and i also have so much more footage this time around (i basically recorded the whole concert while in paris i kinda did but idk i had much less stuff it was my first time so i was just too overwhelmed ajfnwidjsj). you knew it was coming i just needed to sort my thoughts out and i know some of those things have already been said but idc i'm writing them down anyway + i rewatched all my videos so i have a lot to say so LET'S GO

• first of all i want to preface this by saying that it was +40° degrees in rome and gates were opened at 3pm. opening bands started at ~6:30 and am came on stage at 9:40. needless to say everyone was cooking under the sun and slowly losing our collective minds i swear i've never drunk so much water my entire life and still felt like i was shrinking

• it was also my first proper concert standing in a pit + i was lucky enough to have tickets for the closest section to the stage and kind of a decent view despite the fact that i'm literally 5'2

• still i confirmed my opinion that i very much prefer seated tickets (not a big fan of standing in a crowd i must admit) ESPECIALLY when it comes to summer concerts because there was literally NO AIR just weed smoke and most importantly sweat i swear i couldn't breathe. we were fairly close to the stage but at what cost

• i wasn't particularly excited about the opening acts (as i wasn't for inhaler back in may) BUT i have to say they both slayed so hard??? willie j healey was so fucking cute and thoughtful with the crowd (we were under the shadow of the stage but the more far back section of the pit was directly under the scorching sun his whole set and he kept asking if they were okay) and the hives hyped up the crowd so fucking much??? their stage presence was incredible everyone loved them

• the breaks in between opening acts and am were filled with the festival replaying the same harry styles/rosalia/*random italian trapper* songs over and over again and at some point the crowd was about to riot because FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TURN THAT SHIT OFF not even joking when i say we heard the same hs song at least 30 times i swear dante alighieri used that as inspiration to write his inferno

• everyone was sweaty dirty tired and kinda fucked up from the sun and by the time am was about to come on stage i was contemplating my chances of not passing out and praying to god clinging to the bit of energy i still had in me to hold on for just an hour and a half more

• just making it clear this wasn't in any way their fault they came on at the time they were supposed to and everything turned out fine it was just. concerts in rome in the middle of july are.........something

• BUT ANYWAY after hours of us slowly decomposing it was finally time for am!!!!!!!!!

• they opened with sculptures and honestly THANK GOD because (maybe unpopular opinion? idk idc argue with the wall) that is just how it should be. not a big fan of brianstorm as an opener

• alex introduced teddy picker by saying "haven't you heard? teddy is back!"

• he also introduced the view with "let's go back to the very beginning" at which my heard did a bit of a !!!!

• after the view and before 4/5 he randomly went "feeling professional... 🎶 tonight 🎶

• he was feeling sooooo silly the whole show (<3) but he really went crazy with the spoken antics during 4/5

• he clapped his hands as he sang "with coloured old grey whistle test👏 lights👏" which weirdly scratched something just right in my brain

• "and that's unheard of... here in roma or anywhere else for that matter... nobody's done that!"

• he changed the lyrics and went "the only time that I stop laughing is to breathe or steal a kiss" and then proceeded to send a kiss to the crowd

• "four stars out of five... why don't you put that in your [pile]? / four stars out of five... ten times out of nine"

• "four stars out of five... that's right... that's why i like it! 😜" at the very end, said in the most adorable tee-hee way i can't even begin to describe it

• the piano interlude before high was sprinkled with the saddest series of "why... why... why..." ever uttered by man 💔

• after high he said " fantastic! ... what a night"

• "i wanna tell you about a girl that i made up... 💁‍♂️ ages ago 💁‍♂️" as an introduction to arabella

• i'm sure you've seen the video going around but during arabella he noticed a fan was (i think?) crying and asked "are you okay?" before resuming his singing

• "the horizon tries but it's just not as kind on the eyes...... ‼️RRRRRRROMAAAAAAA‼️......... as arabella"

• after the song ended he thanked the crowd by going "good work everyone... jolly good. grazie"

• he thanked the crowd a lot, said grazie/grazie mille a lot, and frequently said roma instead of rome (idk why i found that cute but yeah <3) and his way of rolling his r's when speaking italian was just too adorable i wanted to put him in a blender and drink him as a smoothie

• the version of do me a favour that they've been playing lately sounds slightly softer than the original and i'm all for it. it amplifies the vibe of exhausted resignation that lingers in the lyrics and it just sounds so devastating i love it

• he lifted the mic stand during the song +  pretended to break something in half during the "to start to break in half" line and yeah. that was also what he was doing to my heart

• no he did not have a mullet he just arranged his hair in a way that made it seem like it for a split moment. why did i see people on twitter hoping for the mullet........DON'T GIVE HIM IDEAS

• "tremendous.... thank you 💅"

• also about that rumour going around of him pointing at louise during the "may i call you her name" - he literally acted out the whole line, pointed to himself, then at a random hypothetical you, then sidestage; he was not pointing at anyone specifically + why would anyone want that song dedicated to them lmao like. did the people saying it's romantic read the lyrics or

• also you know who else was in the general direction of him pointing? that's right everybody. mr jamie cook himself. maybe he uses he/she pronouns and alex wants to call someone jamie's name. have you considered that

• okay i'm sorry enough with the bullshit

• he said something during cornerstone and right before dancefloor that i caught on video but i can't really understand what he says so i'll probably end up posting those bits to see if we can figure out wtf he was on about

• "crawling back to you..... ‼️OH‼️ ever thought of calling when you've had a few"

• "🎶 ~rooomaaaaa~ 🎶.... thank you for having us everybody, what a beautiful audience.... soooo predictable i knowwww what you're thinkiiiing"

• he was so obsessed with crooning "roma" every chance he got <3 the silly <3333

• "lone ranger riding through an open space... THANKS A LOT in my mind when she's not right there beside me"

• now a list of random things he does at nearly every show that i still found very endearing:

- the "squeezed me very tightly" bit which is always so 💞💞💞

- "NO! you can't call me her name" with the NO said in the most 'child throwing a tantrum but make it cute' way

- the way he directed matt during the mirrorball intro and matt going 'y'all hear sumn?'

- "5......0......5......"

- him swaying his hips in a way that made everyone's knees buckle in a 10-mile radius

• about the interactions with the others: he didn't interact with them that much, i think he didn't even scissor with jamie during the body paint outro :( BUT we got the directing matt bit before mirrorball + a shout out to tom rowley

• i think in paris i noticed it less because i was seated, or maybe i just noticed it in a different way because i got some different songs (star treatment with the green/purple lights, pretty visitors with the red ones), but still - the lights are incredible and the fact that they create different lighting games for each song (like the blue ones for body paint or the golden ones for am songs) is so cool and fascinating i was mesmerised

• about the crowd: i made the mistake of getting into a telegram group of people who were going to see them and most of them were such casual fans they even believed the fake setlist that was going around a while ago as a joke on twitter 😭 the one with songs like the jeweller's hands. my brother in christ that's never going to happen

there were people going like "if they play r u mine i'm gonna die" and like bruh i appreciate the naivety but it's so painfully obvious they're gonna play it at least have a bit of creativity with your wishful thinking 😔

generally speaking the crowd was really REALLY hyped for am classics and wpsia/fwn oldies, while they were mostly completely dead during the car tracks it was disappointing to say the least. once again i was the only one popping my pussy

• BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS. i was so fucking scared they wouldn't play cornerstone and perfect sense but mostly the latter bc it's much less likely to be played... and it meant so much to me to hear them live, i didn't get either of them at the paris show so i just. ugh. they're in my top 5 am songs if not my absolute favourites and they just mean so much i fucking needed to hear them

• AND THEY PLAYED THEM BOTH. they did it for ME. cornerstone had me so emotional and i'm not joking when i say perfect sense had me ugly sobbing while singing along

• i just. i love that song so much. he just looked so small on that stage singing such vulnerable lyrics, and even tho the crowd was mostly dead (rude if you ask me) he still finished the song by sending a kiss and saying the nth "grazie mille" and i just wanted to hug him so bad i was literally devastated i love him so much

• we also got the jet skis/star treatment/iwby mashup!!!!! most of the tiktok fans had no idea what was happening and kept singing the original lyrics while i once again popped my pussy rapping along with him. i'm so glad he decided to do it and i got to hear it live!!!! it just sounds so damn good ugh

• the setlist as a whole was everything i could've wished for i was so satisfied with it

• the show ended with him sending and catching kisses and just smiling so much i just wanted to tear him to pieces what who said that

• as usual they all sounded and looked INCREDIBLE and alex was just.......... ugh. the most gorgeous of boys. he's so beautiful it makes me SICK. the crowd was literally hypnotised by him, his charm and stage presence is CRAZY and everyone just can't help but stare at him in awe and reverence because his aura is just something else. no one does it like him fr. leaves me speechless every single time

• they're all so fucking beautiful and talented and seeing them feels like a fucking out-of-body experience every single time

• i miss them like air I MISS HIM LIKE AIR....... the pcd is hitting hard and i honestly have no idea wtf i'm gonna do with myself once tour is over and they yeet themselves out of the public scene for god knows how long i don't even want to think about it

• long story short i love them so much it literally hurts it's not even funny and i already want to see them again </3

• also bonus: after the show ended there was a HUGE traffic jam due to the fact that 35k people were trying to leave the place all at once SO we spent the next two hours (TWO HOURS) stuck in the parking lot exhausted dirty sweaty and still dying in the heat bc it was literally 1am but it was still so hot it was hell. then danza kuduro came on the radio and it was so random that was the last straw to send me k.o. for good

• overall crazy experience but yeah i love them so much i want to see them again sooooo bad </3 PLEASE COME BACK </3333

• so yeah that was my experience at rock in roma i hope you enjoyed my ramblings xx

[hebuiltfive]

Thundertober Day Seventeen: Danger

I'm debating taking a break from posting these for a few days, to try and catch my breath and properly review what I have planned for the rest of the month, so this might be the last one for a little bit. No Tracy Bros in this, but International Rescue is mentioned at the end... kind of. I keep having these stories end on cliffhangers, I'm so sorry! Anyway! I hope you enjoy!

AO3 here

Days: One ~ Two ~ Three ~ Four ~ Five ~ Six ~ Seven ~ Eight ~ Nine ~ Ten ~ Eleven ~ Twelve ~ Thirteen ~ Fourteen ~ Fifteen ~ Sixteen

Warnings for: Swearing and gang mentions. Kat's new lead guides her towards a very dangerous path. Tagging: @thunder-tober@skymaiden32@idontknowreallywhy@mrmustachious

She really needed to start heeding the warnings that were given to her. Perhaps if she had actually listened to her editor when he told her to drop this exposé, she might have actually stood a chance of getting out unscathed.

Yet here she was instead, trapped in a room spewing God-knew-what kind of gas, and all of it was because she didn’t stop to properly investigate what turned out to be a traitorous lead.

TWO HOURS EARLIER

Kat Cavanaugh sat idly in the chair at her desk. Chopsticks were twirled between her fingers whilst her untouched Kung Pao Chicken she had ordered for lunch became increasingly cold in the oyster pail.

She knew she was staring into space, knew her mind was thinking too hard, but she allowed herself to get absorbed in those thoughts because she was running out of time. The report she had been compiling for next week’s hard-hitting edition of EXPOSED! was looking more and more like a dead-end.

There was nothing Kat hated more than a dead-end.

After a fraught meeting with her editor that morning, who had insisted she drop the article and instead focused on the rehabilitation and redevelopment of the Bay area, Kat had been left with a sour taste in her mouth. She wasn’t going to be ordered around, editor or not. She hadn’t got this far into her career to start taking the ‘easier’ path now. That wasn’t how she had made her name, nor was it how she was going to allow her legacy to end.

Instead of dropping the piece, Kat began to focus on different angles she could take. They had all fallen flat because she still lacked that one, vital component that made a story like this credible: evidence. She had no leads, no quotes, no names, no places… The only way she could think of getting any information now would be to try the police again, which hadn’t ended well last time.

Kat had gone out to buy her lunch, uninspired but not fully without hope, and had returned to a gift she had very much not been expecting.

3pm. Hudson Building. Fifth floor. Details of the Serpents revealed. Tell no-one.

The cyber-crime gang known formally as the Serpent Soldiers, less formally as just Serpents, had been a thorn in everybody’s sides, including Kat’s. All sorts of gangs had steadily been increasing over the last few months, all intent on, in Kat’s opinion, the same outcome. The Serpents were the biggest group in this part of the States, and were the only known gang to cross state borders with their membership.

Of course Kat had chosen to write the exposé on them, foolishly thinking it wouldn’t be as difficult (or as dangerous) as it had inevitably become.

The email she had received seemed too good to be true, but when had Kat Cavanaugh ever listened to rational thinking? So, she decided to keep it to herself as instructed. Her editor, who had been so vehemently against her continuing this story this morning, didn’t need to be aware of it.

All she had to do was think of a suitable reason to leave the office in a couple of hours and—

“Kat? Katherine?”

Her colleague, Nessa, had arrived at her desk at… some point. A look of concern dominated her features. “You alright, Cavanaugh?”

Kat flashed her a quick, reassuring smile, and straightened herself up in her seat. Amid all the daydreaming, she hadn’t realised she’d ended up so slouched. Very professional there, Kat.

“Ness! Hi. Yes, I’m fine. Just.. thinking.”

Nessa’s gloriously painted nails tapped on the takeout box, brow arching. “You shouldn’t eat at your desk, you know? Statistics show that your more likely to do work than take a break.”

“I’m fine, Nes. I’ve just got a lot on my plate right now, that’s all.”

Another nudge of the full box. “Damn right you do! Have you even eaten anything yet?”

Kat swatted her hand away with an amused grin. “Not that plate! You know what I meant.”

“Oh. The Serpent article?”

Naturally, her work on the piece had become a source of office gossip.

“Always aiming too high, that Kat. Never going to get a story out of it.”

“Does she think that because she’s interview International Rescue once that she’s some hot-shot journal now?”

“The Serpents speak to no-one. She’s lucky she isn’t already dead in a ditch somewhere.”

Office gossip was something she was, unfortunately, accustomed to, but it didn’t mean it made hearing her peers talk about her in hushed voices as she passed any less painful to endure. Kat always managed to brush it aside and tell herself that she didn’t care when, truthfully, she felt the opposite.

“It will get done by next week, Nes. I’ve just got to get one, solid, credible lead.”

“Good luck with that.” Nessa patted her shoulder. “I don’t envy your task, Kat.”

----------------------------

The Hudson Building was a half-hour walk away from her office, but Kat gave herself more time, just in case. So far this was her only lead and she couldn’t afford to blow it.

The area looked run-down. Many businesses had moved out of the area years ago, leading to graffitied walls and smashed windows in their wake. As mentioned by her editor that morning, the district had been green-lit a renovation project by the Mayor’s office, but Kat was sceptical of that every becoming a reality. The Bay area had been overlooked for years. She didn’t see why it would be any different this time. In her many years of experience travelling the country for her work, Kat had come to the conclusion that cities like this one needed the run-down areas in order for the ‘prettier’ areas to remain profitable.

She pondered her scepticism as she continued her brisk walk, politely offering a dollar or two to a couple of homeless people as she passed them. The thought of the implications of this area of the city being the meeting spot from a very dubious note had not crossed her mind once.

The Hudson Building had been one of the last to become derelict in the area and thus, from the outside, it had fared better than the rest of the street. However as Kat stepped into the building there was immediate evidence of squatter activity in the lobby. Tattered sleeping bags alongside old pizza boxes, drink cans and the occasional discarded needle.

Kat ignored the faint urge in her that screamed to get out. On tip-toes, she carefully trod over the discarded items, an elbow rising to cover her nose from the smell of the damp and filth, to make it over to the elevators which she prayed still worked.

She was in luck.

The fifth floor was cleaner in terms of the lack of squatter activity but thick dust covered the carpeted flooring. Mould grew from damp walls. This was not a place she wanted to stay in for long.

Kat checked her watch. Five to three. The note hadn’t specified where on the fifth floor to meet. She tried all the doors on the floor. She’d almost given up when none of them had opened for her… until she reached the last one. Offices 545-559. This door was unlocked and, unlike the other handles, was not covered in grime.

Flickering lights met her when she entered. Windows had been blacked out, meaning no light from the outside filtered through. Kat switched on the torch on her phone and used it to guide herself through the empty space.

It was a relatively small reception, with doors that led off to different office spaces, she presumed. Again, as before, Kat tried all the doors. This time, it was the door marked 556 that opened. She made a note of the number, in case it became important for her exposé at a later date.

Office 556 was nothing out of the ordinary. It had a desk in the centre, a couple of broken digital screens on top along with a broken holo-projector. The seats were filthy and, like the reception, the single window in the room had been boarded up.

Kat took a few more steps forward, to see if the screens were working, when she heard the door behind her slam and lock.

Shit.

Immediately, Kat made for the door, wrangling with the handle in an attempt to get it to open.

Of course, it didn’t.

“Hey! Whoever’s out there, let me out! This isn’t funny—”

She heard the hiss of the gas first, unable to see or smell it from the colourless and odourless quality. That didn’t matter. Gas was gas and… this wasn’t looking good.

“Hey! What the hell are you doing? Open this door NOW!”

The more she spoke, the more she breathed. The more she breathed, the more gas she inhaled.

Kat began to cough as the gas tickled her throat. Her heart-rate spiked. Fear began to creep in because fuck! She hadn’t told anyone where she had been going. Nobody knew she was here.

She gave up on the door and ignored the gas that was still being vented in from the gap at the bottom, stumbling over to the desk where she’d left her phone. If she was quick, maybe she would be able to call someone before she passed out or… worse.

“God, don’t think about that, Kat.” She mumbled to herself, arms rising to try and get a signal to her phone. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Kat didn’t feel the floor as she hit it, but she knew she had; harsh bristles from the carpet dug into her cheek. Her vision had blurred and she tried so desperately hard to fight the urge to just pass out. On the floor, the gas inhalation was greater.

The last thing she remembered was a pair of familiar looking, blue boots come into focus in front of her.

She knew those boots.

She could have wept happy tears. They’d somehow found her.

International Rescue.

She was safe.

Of course, with the state Kat was in, it was forgivable for her to jump to the most positive of conclusions but, in reality, the truth was far from her hopeful imagination.

[overworkedblorbobattle]

Overworked Blorbo Battle Round 1!

Round 1 will be split into 8 waves of 8 week long polls with each wave being posted 24 hours after the previous begins. The first wave will start on Friday the 29th of July at 3pm BST

The matchups are listed under the readmore

The matchups were all randomised although I did make minor adjustments if I thought one was much too unfair.

Wave 1:

Ada Paige (Rythm Doctor) Vs Sips (Fools Gold)

Cliopher Mdang (The Hands Of The Emperor) Vs The Manager (The Hotel Podcast)

Adam Parrish (The Raven Cycle) Vs Five Pebbles (Rain World)

Almond Cookie (Cookie Run) Vs Steven Universe (Steven Universe)

Dot Campbell (The Wilds) Vs Hera (Wolf 359)

Arthur Lester (Malevolent Podcast) Vs Gordon Michael Schwinn (A New Brain)

Anthy Himemiya (Revolutionary Girl Utena) Vs Fu Hua (Honkai Impact 3rd)

Commander Peepers (Wander Over Yonder) Vs Kusuo Saiki (The Disastrous Life Of Saiki K.)

Wave 2:

Bucky Barnes (Marvel) Vs Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson)

Dana Scully (The X Files) Vs Gregor Samsa (Metamorphosis)

Danny Fenton (Danny Phantom) Vs Harrowhark Nonagesimus (Gideon The Ninth)

George Cubbins/Karim (Lockwood and Co) Vs Ling Wen (Heaven’s Official Blessing)

DC/GOV (Welcome To The Table) Vs Pandemonica (Helltaker)

David Jacobs (Newsies) Vs Logainne Schwartzandgrubenierre (The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee)

Dean Winchester (Supernatural) Vs Squidward (SpongeBob SquarePants)

Ford Pines (Gravity Falls) Vs Charlie Magne (Hazbin Hotel)

Wave 3:

Gilgamesh Wulfenbach (Girl Genius) Vs Charlotte Dubois (Falsettos)

Jaehee Kang (Mystic Messenger) Vs Angela (Lobotomy Corporation)

Kevin Kandy (Spooky Month) Vs Robin (Smash Legends)

Kento Nanami (Jujutsu Kaisen) Vs Vera Oberlin (Monster Prom)

Homura Akemi (Madoka Magica) Vs Ratchet (Transformers)

Hunter (The Owl House) Vs Ponder Stibbons (Discworld)

Isabelle (Animal Crossing) Vs Aymeric De Borel (Final Fantasy)

Izzy Hands (Our Flag Means Death) Vs Luisa Madrigal (Encanto)

Wave 4:

Jean Gunnhildr (Genshin Impact) Vs Aki Hayakawa (Chainsaw Man)

Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives) Vs William T Spears (Black Butler)

Jotaro Kujo (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure) Vs Adora (She Ra)

Keito Hasumi (Ensemble Stars!) Vs Doppo Kannonzaka (Hypnosis Mic)

Jeremie Belpois (Code Lyoko) Vs Chip Revvington (Toontown: Corporate Clash)

Jamil Viper (Twisted Wonderland) Vs Lisa Wilbourn (Worm)

Guillermo de la Cruz (What We Do In The Shadows) Vs Buffy Summers (Buffy The Vampire Slayer)

Kim Dojka (Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint) Vs Shang Qinghua (Scum Villain's Self-Saving System)

Wave 5:

Kurapika (Hunter X Hunter) Vs Mafuyu Asahina (Project Sekai/Colorful Stage)

Lucifer (Obey Me!) Vs The Elsen (Off)

Marsh (Mistborn) Vs Lisa Cuddy (House MD)

Matthew Venn (The Long Call) Vs Carol Hathaway (ER)

Larry Needlemeyer (The Amazing World Of Gumball) Vs Kim Kitsuragi (Disco Elysium)

Merlin (BBC Merlin) Vs Dick Gumshoe (Ace Attorney)

Maedhros Feanorian (The Simarillion) Vs Riza Hawkeye (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Laerryn Coramar Seelie (Critical Role) Vs Lucretia (The Adventure Zone)

Wave 6:

Miles O’Brien (Star Trek) Vs Jonathan Harker (Dracula)

Miss Pauling (Team Fortress 2) Vs Susan Taxpayer (Susan Taxpayer)

MK (Lego Monkey Kid) Vs Kunikida Doppo (Bungo Stray Dogs)

Molly Blyndeff (Epithet Erased) Vs Emma Perkins (The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals)

Mrs Doyle (Father Ted) Vs Jess Jordan (Succession)

Nicholas Benedict (The Mysterious Benedict Society) Vs Jafar (Twisted: The Story Of A Royal Vizier)

Nishida (Yakuza) Vs Touta Matsuda (Death Note)

Obi-Wan Kenobi (Star Wars) Vs Alfred Pennyworth (Batman)

Wave 7:

Olruggio (Witch Hat Atelier) Vs Walter Pensive (Hello From The Hallowoods)

Parsley Botch (Smile For Me) Vs Peppino Spaghetti (Pizza Tower)

Raphael Walt (My Next Life as a Villainess) Vs Hawkeye Pierce (MASH)

Sara Chidouin (Your Turn To Die) Vs Reim Lunettes (Pandora Hearts

SecUnit (The MurderBot Diaries) Vs Lamplighter (Oneshot)

The Captain (BBC Ghosts) Vs Munkustrap (Cats)

Retsuko (Aggretsuko) Vs Burgerpants (Undertale)

Ryotaro Dojima (Persona) Vs Kiyotaka Ishimaru (Danganronpa)

Wave 8:

Steven Alen Starphase (Blood Blockade Battlefront/Kekkai Sensen) Vs Trafalgar Law (One Piece)

Shota Aizawa (My Hero Academia) Vs Loid Forger (Spy X Family)

Stanley (The Stanley Parable) Vs Rory Williams (Doctor Who)

The Cabbage Merchant (Avatar The Last Airbender) Vs Larry (Pokémon)

Mario & Luigi (Super Mario Bros) Vs Link (The Legend Of Zelda)

Peregrine Mendicant (Homestuck) Vs Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Miraculous Ladybug)

Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) Vs Will Graham (Hannibal)

Twilight Sparkle (My Little Pony) Vs Carmen Sandiego (Carmen Sandiego)

[ramenremm]

YOU - CREEPYPASTA

My name has always been the most boring name in the world to me, my name is Rick Glasm. I live alone in a small apartment in the borough of Brookly, New York, although I should more call it a caged apartment, because an apartment can't exactly be called that by how small it is and I still have to work two jobs to make a living here at all. During the week I work at a popular coffee shop "Thiloa", and on the weekend I'm a security guard at one of the local gyms. Not everything is perfect, but I've never felt the need to complain about my life. I don't have too many friends, in fact I have only work acquaintances, but it doesn't bother me that much. They often change to new ones anyway. I don't have difficulty making new friends, so it's almost like I'm making new friends all the time. Admittedly, I'm alone in New York City itself due to the fact that my parents are in Atlanta, but I'm already closer to my 30s than my teenage years, and phones are enough to keep in touch.

My day always looks the same, waking up at five o'clock, showering, morning routine, making my own coffee for breakfast, looking for my lost badge for work, wearing the only clothes that are still wearable, leaving at 5:30, walking to the coffee shop to open it. The whole way takes eight minutes, the shift starts at 6, and it's practically full of people right away, so I don't even have time for my own thoughts. I finish around 3pm, although sometimes I stay longer if there is really a lot of chaos, because it would end badly for the person on shift. I have a weekly paycheck, if it's a Monday, I go get the money and then get the groceries for the rest of the week and come home. Most of the money goes to rent and bills, so I can't afford too many activities. I usually go to bed after 7 p.m. As for the weekend it's all the same except that I get up later and spend the whole day at home, and only around 9 p.m. do I leave the house, the gym is 6 minutes away from my apartment. When I go in for a shift it's usually someone else working out at it, because it's open 24 hours. I hole up in my little office waiting for it to break 6 a.m. and so on and so forth every week.

Most of the time I thought the routine was wearing me down, and maybe it was, but only up to a certain point. I still remember the exact day when everything started to go wrong and my mind changed.

The day I noticed him for the first time.

Sunday, May 21, 2017. I had my shift at the gym and came in early as usual. Even as I was climbing the stairs, I could hear that there were still a few people in the room. Behind the counter of the small reception desk stood a young woman packing her things so she could leave. We always eluded each other through our shifts.

- Good night Effy.- I threw to her tapping my fingers on the counter to announce her presence. Her head immediately lifted from the bag in which she was looking for something and a small smile appeared on her lips.

- Good night Rick, have fun- she replied amused by her own words, because every night here was torture by boredom.

- Be careful when you go out- I threw as I walked toward my small cubicle in which there wasn't even much room to move around. There was a desk, monitors on which camera images were displayed, and two cabinets standing against the wall with all sorts of things. Originally they were supposed to be for documents, but there wasn't even anything to write down, except for the number of squats done by the elderly man who came here every day. Willingly or unwillingly (more the second option), I put my backpack on the ground and sat down on a slightly decaying swivel chair and turned to look at the monitors.

Looking at them was so monotonous that I felt like I was watching the same movie day in and day out with no end in sight. Everyone at the gym had a routine and stuck to it, so there wasn't even anything to hang my eyes on. At least that's what I thought, until I noticed a boy sitting at one of the machines. He didn't look like he was going to exercise, but more like he was just sitting. He was wearing a black T-shirt, short gray shorts and longer blond hair that made me wonder if he was interfering with his exercise before I remembered that he was just sitting.

He sat like that for a full fifteen minutes until he got up and walked toward the men's locker room. After he left, I didn't think much of it, it wasn't anything interesting.

That's what I thought.

The whole evening was quiet a few people went in and out during the night, and around five o'clock more people began to gather, at which point I could barely keep my eyes open and my bag fell out of my hands twice before I finally managed to pick it up and throw it over my shoulder.

I didn't have the energy to look at the front desk, but I knew Effy was getting ready for her own shift, now running around and cleaning the halls, so I didn't bother her and quickly left the gym. The sun was already in the sky and was extremely annoyingly blinding me, so I couldn't do anything but squint. I had a few hours left until my shift at the cafe because I started a little later on Mondays by the fact that I was finishing my second job late, and I didn't feel like doing anything other than sleeping.

That's when I didn't notice how he walked past me, I thought he was an ordinary person. He looked at my face and I didn't see it, as if he was a ghost.

Monday, May 22, 2017

The morning was foggy, I don't really remember how I got home or when I fell asleep, all I can recall is setting another alarm clock on my phone. I didn't check to make sure I locked the door from the house, I didn't think I needed to. My body gave up immediately. I didn't think about anything until the alarm clock snapped me out of that state to start this circus all over again. My body was already getting so little sleep that I barely knew where I was. That's why I wasn't surprised that some things were messed up, I was living in a mess and in a hurry, it wasn't new.

Another washing up, dressing up, wondering if I even had the strength to eat anything, going to work. The coffee shop took far too much of that leftover energy from me. There was constant traffic, it was impossible to sit down even for a moment.

- You look even worse than last time- threw to me Tommy, a boy who had not yet given up working here and was often with me on shift. He was young and ambitious, it was sad to see such a person wasted in something like this.

- Good morning- I just replied still not really knowing who I actually was and immediately moved on to making coffee orders. We always had a lot of traffic, but most of the customers were returners, with other new units, of course. Across the street was another cafe with more expensive prices, hence we were the ones getting new customers.

After two days of working here, I stopped paying attention to people. Whether they were wearing glasses, had bad makeup, how they were dressed, it all poured into one and it was just a matter of taking an order, completing it, serving it and taking the money.

With one customer, however, I couldn't pretend not to recognize him. The longer straight blond hair immediately caught my attention. Instead of the countertop and the hand in which he held the money, I looked at his face. It was the first time I looked at him up close. I couldn't distinguish much because all my attention was caught by the scar on the top of his nose. It was huge and looked like his nose had almost been torn off. I knew it was rude to stare like that, but I couldn't help myself. It seemed like I was the only one who noticed it because of the fact that Tommy was busy with something else.

- 8,50- I finally said reaching for his money. He gave it to me without a word and took his cup. He left without stopping or looking back.

The only thing I could think of was that he lived somewhere in the area, there were a lot of people here who found themselves here by accident and already had to stay or really wanted to live in New York and had to start somewhere.

I thought my theory was true after seeing him every day for a whole week. every day he would come in and order a black coffee with sugar. He didn't spend more than five minutes here.

We could have called him our regular customer.

Friday 26 have 2017 I ended my shift unusually late by the larger group of people that passed through our establishment, and me and Tommy stayed late to still clean up. It was going reluctantly for so many hours of work, but in the end all that was left was to take out the trash. I was supposed to do it, the trash cans were at the back of the building, so I took two bags and went outside. It was a small alley with two containers and a terrible smell. While throwing the bags out, it seemed to me that something moved at the end of the alley, but I blamed it on fatigue.

There were a lot of plastic coffee cups pounding under my shoes, I kicked the one closest to me to get out of the way. To my surprise, instead of a clear path, there was coffee on my shoes and the ground. Black coffee. It's hard to describe how much irritation I felt at that moment. So much so that I walked out of there without saying goodbye to Tommy.

Walking briskly towards my apartment I once again thought I saw someone. It was starting to annoy me, so I turned my head in that direction only to see blond hair. I furrowed my brow at the sight.

I didn't want to be fucking paranoid, after all, it could have been anyone.

Not everyone is seen every day everywhere you go yourself.

He was everywhere. I saw him at the coffee shop, at the gym, outside my own apartment as he walked down the stairwell. Every day. Day in and day out.

I was beginning to feel like I was going crazy.

Every time I carried my gaze I was afraid I would meet him.

The day of June 20, 2017 was the one that poured the spell of bitterness. Specially after leaving the cafe, I didn't go home right away but started walking around the city, it didn't help much with my discomfort, but I could breathe for a while. I was on the verge in the last few days, everything seemed to go wrong. The quietest sound in my house made me flinch.

I didn't tell anyone about it, I had no one and didn't want to. I felt it was stupid.

All the way I tried to reason with myself, exhaustion made me start making up all sorts of things. I even started to believe it when under my apartment I found not a trace of the strange stranger. No one was around.

I breathed a sigh of relief and reached for the keys in my pocket to open the door. The recliner clamped over my face prevented me from doing so completely.

Within seconds I felt the plastic digging into my skin harder and harder. I acted instinctively and with a jerk I reached for the part that was on my lips. I broke it off to get air. I knew immediately what was happening, I knew that everything that was happening was not my imagination. I turned my head to the side to look my tormentor in the eyes. What I saw in them made the blood drain from my face. He expressed no emotion, he knew what he was doing and what he wanted.

He let go of the rest of the snatched commercial and his hand rose once hitting me on the head. That darkness was unsettling, I felt like I was in sleep paralysis, I wanted to wake up, but something kept me in that state.

Opening my eyes, I thought it was really a dream. I recognized the ceiling of my apartment, there were small spots of paint. I was in the living room on the floor. My head was heavier than ever Keeping my eyes open was a challenge. I tried to get up only to feel something holding my legs tightly. Only then did a little more awareness come back to me. My hands were also tied behind my back and I was losing feeling in them from lying like this.

I tried to struggle, but the pain went through my whole body with every violent movement.

Turning my head to the side, I noticed that the light in the kitchen was on and the sound of searching for something could be heard.

- What do you want!- I shouted, knowing that I could not escape. The only thing left for me was to try to get along.

- I don't have much money, everything is in the bedroom, maybe you can find some valuable things there, take everything!- I shouted further trying to think of some way to escape anyway.

- WHAT DO YOU WANT- I repeated after noticing that he was ignoring me. He wasn't after the money, surely by the time I would have woken up he would have taken everything, instead he seemed to be doing something in the kitchen quietly without hurrying. I was beginning to feel all the emotions at once. I tried to tear what my hands were bound with, but it seemed impossible to do so.

His footsteps walking towards the living room were quiet, if it weren't for the fact that a shadow was following him I wouldn't have even noticed him.

He looked at me with the same blank stare. In his hands he held a knife and scissors, and he was wearing clothes to protect his clothes from getting dirty. My heart was pounding in my chest.

- let me out. LET ME OUT!-I screamed groggily despite the pain. He did not look moved. He approached me slowly until he was over me and sat on my body pressing me tighter to the floor, making it completely impossible to move my arms.

- LET ME GO! HELP!-I shouted hoping that one of the neighbors could hear me. Now I regret that I was not on friendlier terms with them.

- Soon I will be you- He finally spoke up putting down the knife to reach my head. I tried to move away so he wouldn't touch me, but it was no use. His fingers grabbed a handful of my hair and the scissors that were in his other hand made a vague cut leaving some of the hair in his hand.

- You- He repeated looking at my hair intently before he put it aside on the floor and turned towards me again. I was terrified, tears began to flow from my eyes, he was not moved by this. I wanted to start screaming again which was a mistake. As soon as my mouth opened his fingers were inside grabbing my tongue.

His nails dug in hard to hold it at arm's length.

My eyes widened even more. I felt the sharp metal go through the muscle cutting through it like a piece of paper. Blood immediately started pouring into my mouth and onto my chin. I tried to scream through the pain burning me like hell, but I couldn't make any meaningful sounds. He only let me go when the scissors came together and he held a large piece of my tongue in his fingers. I couldn't look at it. The part of my tongue that was still in my mouth made me swallow some of the blood.

- I just need to talk and look like you.- he said, watching the muscle from all sides before he put it in his mouth like some piece of candy.

I wanted to vomit.

Because of the adrenaline and shock, I was more than aware of everything that was happening, so when he began to approach my eyes I knew what was coming. My muffled screams did not move him.

This time he was quiet but kept his hand on my forehead, and whenever I tried to close my eyes he would grab my eyelashes to keep my eye open.

I saw the tip of the knife get closer and closer until it was sunk into my eye socket.

The knife didn't go through the center. It punched out my eye so that it was a best condition. My image in my left eye was completely cut off and the pain made my back arch and my fingers began to scratch the wooden floor beneath me.

I was on the verge of consciousness tilting my right eyelid, but I could see exactly how he tried to put my eye into his like a lens. His blue eye was covered by my green one.

The feeling of my eye being forcibly opened was the last thing I felt before I lost consciousness again through pain.

On Wednesday, June 21, 2017, the shift at the "Thiloa" cafe started normally. Tommy set up all the chairs and started to clean up. There was no sign of his co-worker, however, he recognized that Rick had finally overslept through his schedule.

He had just washed one of the machines when the bell rang throughout the premises announcing that the first customer had arrived.

The teenager immediately assumed a more cheerful expression and raised his eyes ready to take the order. What he saw made the cleaning fluid and cloth fall out of his hands and his face turned pale.

- Sorry I'm late- Said the man standing in front of the counter in Rick's clothes with a whisper. The sign bore his name. Rick Glasm. There were staple brown strands in his blond hair, and on his face.... His face was replaced by Rick's face. A cut out piece sewn to his own.

Looking at his hands one could see more stitch marks. On the squares, which were a lighter shade than his skin.

- Can we begin?- he asked and a piece of his tongue accidentally fell out of his mouth. Rick's tongue.

[solitaria-fantasma]

((Venting under the cut. Please do not reblog.))

My mother told me yesterday that I needed to attend a family dinner with her mother and sister tonight, as they're leaving to go back home tomorrow. I had, previously, made plans with a group of friends to get together and go to an arcade, which we hadn't had the chance to do in almost a decade. I'd had these plans for two weeks, and they'd been on the family calendar for just as long, but here's mom asking me to drop them for a supposedly big family dinner with everyone the day before.

I've made it no secret that my relationship with my mother is abrasive, and I don't like her mother that much, either. We don't have a lot of contact, and when we do it's tense and awkward for various reasons of politics and opinion. But like a good daughter, I agreed to back out of my plans to attend the dinner. Grandma's in her 90s, after all. This might be one of the last times she comes to the state.

The next morning, my mother hemmed and hawed about what time the reservation actually was, and around noon, I found out that there was no reservation, just a general plan to show up at the restaurant (which was just across the parking lot from my workplace). At 2pm, my mother asked me what time I got out of work, and I told her 6pm, as was the case for every Friday.

She did not respond until 3pm, where she told me the restaurant plans had changed, and they were just getting takeout from the place to eat at home instead. So....not the fancy reservation dinner she'd described last night. Great. I'm already starting to feel tricked. But I don't feel like I can back out, so I don't say anything.

Around 5:30p my dad stops by my workplace to say 'hi', and let me know he just picked up the food. I still have half an hour of work to go, and I only live five minutes from work. That should be plenty of time to get home, right?

Y'all they ate without me.

Dirty plates were already piled in the sink when I walked in the door, and the leftovers they left out for me were cold. When I half-jokingly said 'hey, you started without me'. my mother shrugged and said she thought I'd get out at 5p, and they just couldn't wait.

I gave up a pre-planned fun night out with friends...for this?

To be the only one left eating at a table full of adults who couldn't be bothered to wait to eat with me??

I want to cry. I have cried. I feel so shitty right now and I hate it because this isn't my fault. I get out of work when I get out of work it's not like I purposefully stayed late to cause this. Either my mother did this on purpose for some cruel reason, or she legitimately forgot our last conversation and has memory problems, OR she just couldn't be bothered to actually read my response other than to see that I had responded, and thus had seen her response.

Why haven't I learned by now? I should have learned by now - there's always a catch when my mother is involved.

[hail-dondus]

It would happen to me that I spend a month and a half job hunting only to then get two jobs in the same week, both of them full time and highly demanding.

So basically I interviewed for a bakery retail assistant role and an unqualified nursery position, and after trial shifts for both I got them both, which I was shocked by. The timing of it all is so unfortunate; the nursery interviewed me last Friday and then invited me to a trial on Tuesday afternoon; the bakery then wanted me to come in for an interview and trial shift on Monday morning and so I agreed in case the nursery one fell through. The bakery offered me the position first on Monday, literally five minutes after my trial ended (god knows why since I felt awkward and didn’t know shit), and so I - rather stupidly - accepted it over the phone and started on Wednesday so I could still do the trial; I thought that I would get an answer about the nursery on Tuesday so I could have the chance to take it while still having the back up choice. Lo and behold, the nursery has accepted me and wants me to start next week, meanwhile the bakery has already put me on the rota for the next week and a half.

And now I’m stuck.

The nursery was my first choice, to be honest, and while I had been hoping to step away from childcare after working in schools and at daycare camp for the past few years, it would be with babies through to pre-school, which is a group I’ve not worked that much with (though I am good with babies it turns out). I have experience in this field already which helps.

The bakery job is selling bread/cakes/coffee as well as prepping sandwiches, cleaning etc. As I’ve discovered over my last two shifts there, I’m fucking abysmal at making sandwiches, keep forgetting things etc., but because it’s only my second shift I figured it’s just a matter of learning.

Hours wise, the bakery is 40 hours over five days, the nursery is 38 hours over five days (3 10 hour days + 2 half days of four hours); the bakery job means doing 6am-2:30pm/6:30am-3pm or 7:30-4pm, and while Sundays are off it means working Saturday with a day off during the week, which is a problem because in November I have a Saturday filled with pantomime performances (three of them!). Meanwhile the nursery is Monday-Friday, and the hours would for a full day would probably be something like 8-6:30 or something(?), meaning if I have a rehearsal at either 7:30-9:30 or 8-10 (evenings), I’ll have very little to no time to prepare or get my stuff ready etc, let alone eat anything, plus it doesn’t fit with performance days where I have to be in by 6pm.

I’m having to get up at 4:45am to every morning, so doing that and then having to stay awake until 10-11pm on days with rehearsals is AWFUL.

The benefits at the nursery (free gym membership, 40% off food/drink, discount at the salon/spa facilities on site) outweighs those at the bakery (free coffee/lunch), and the nursery pays 40p more per hour than the bakery.

The bakery at the staff are just, to my knowledge, so fucking nice most of the time despite me being useless and older than them, the manager is nice, and if I leave them it leaves them in the lurch and understaffed, which is so unfair on them. I don’t really know the staff at the nursery that well but I don’t think they’re horrible tbh, though they seemed absolutely exhausted and done by the time I went in for my trial shift on Tuesday afternoon.

The nursery wants me to start next Monday, but the bakery has a two week notice period so I would have to talk to both places and apologise profusely to work something out. If I don’t work the notice period then I could end up not being paid for the 34 hours I’ll have worked by Saturday evening.

I don’t want to go into childcare for the rest of my life, quite frankly, but the nursery has offered to pay for me to earn a qualification in childcare so long as I work a year afterwards (if I left before a year I’d have to pay them, which I suppose is reasonable), which would then mean I could be paid more in the future as I’d be a qualified childcare worker and not just an unqualified glorified babysitter.

They have a ball pit, a bunny and two Guinea pigs at the nursery - which I know aren’t for ME necessarily but I would get to go in the ball pit with the kids and see the bunny/animals so that’s a bonus

Travel to either isn’t really an issue as they’re both close, though the bakery DOES mean walking 40 minutes at 5am to get there while it’s dark in the winter

So… yeah. I’m feeling quite torn and lost right now, and I have no idea what to do.

[worldcuphospitalitytickets]

FIFA 2026 Hospitality: Explore Chicago’s Rich History and Vibrant Neighborhoods for World Cup Visitors

FIFA 2026 Hospitality Tickets: Nobu hotels only seem in the calmest corners of a city. So, it originates as little astonishment its flagship US hotel has exploded up in Fulton Market. A former meatpacking district twisted hipster den in Chicago for guests securing World Cup Hospitality Tickets. The building itself looks and senses industrial an all-brick cube covered in giant. Crittall-style gaps through which guests securing FIFA World Cup Hospitality Tickets so far, counting everybody from Drake to Chicago’s mayor.

Watch city life explains. Facility is relaxed, friendly and on-point, the staff happy to. Indorse places to eat on the well-known Restaurant Row or standby a. Sought-after table at the rooftop bar for. Impressive skyscraper sights, best admired with a glass of sake as the sun sets. Look out for the kintsugi-inspiredart in reception, a nod to the Japanese practice of fixative broken things with gold. It’s an apt metaphor for Nobu Chicago, the first five-star hotel in the freshly redeveloped neighbourhood.

Fuss-free spacious rooms pair industrial stylish with cool, Japanese minimalism the perfect mixture. For a hotel in Chicago’s edgy West Loop. Neatness is a hallmark each of the 155 rooms for guests securing Football World Cup Hospitality Tickets. All have Nobu’s signature low, platform bed, brushed concrete walls and ceilings. Blonde wood floors and floor-to-ceiling Crittall-style gaps.

FIFA World Cup Hospitality Tickets: Nobu Matsuhisa’s Signature Dishes a Culinary Experience at Nobu Chicago

These provide visitors securing FIFA 2026 Hospitality Tickets with stunning city. Sights and flood spaces with a magic golden light, come sun rise and dusk. Yoga mats and clothes soft-shell clam are amongst thoughtful touches tucked away in the wardrobes. Bathrooms are equally appealingly pleasing with Venetian plastered walls. Walk-in showers, bathtubs, and stuffed with treats from Dyson hairdryers to uncurling irons.

It’s worth promotion to one of the suites for additional square footage and. To soaking in a gorgeous teak bathtub.  Those wanting to amuse should book the one-bedroom Nobu Villa with its distinct living space and pool table. There are few chefs who could open their doors within spitting distance of Chicago’s Restaurant Row and not feel daunted. One of those is Nobu Matsuhisa, whose name is identical with sushi, sashimi and sky-high values.

A steady stream of well-heeled couples and tech bros assurances a buzz in this. Ground-floor restaurant, where guests securing World Cup Hospitality Tickets. Pleat into signature dishes like the black cod miso or yellowtail with jalapeno. The 11th-floor wraparound rooftop is the faultless place to sip on sake. And Japanese single malts as the nearby skyscrapers twinkle, particularly. During the Tanoshi happy hour daily, 3pm 6pm when a DJ spins smooth house tracks.

Football World Cup Hospitality Tickets: Explore Chicago’s Rich Architecture and Vibrant Neighborhoods During Your Stay

Breakfast isn’t characteristically comprised in the nightly rate but small dishes, think avocado on toast or granola, can be well-ordered to your room or on the rooftop. The faultless slow-down to your fast-paced city break is Nobu’s underground spa with its soothing 40ft 12m pool. While there are no treatment rooms.

Visitors securing Football World Cup Hospitality Tickets can de-stress with slick, distinct saunas in the changing rooms for men and women while the gym has all of the latest Technogym gear together with jars occupied with the likes of energy balls and granola bites it opens at 5am for any early birds.

Its neighbourhood vibe stretches it a much more homely feel than the centre just under a mile away and you’ll find the mainstream of the city’s famous dinner spots on Restaurant Row.  Next door to the hotel is a free-to-enter pop-up garden that alternates between the setting for padel courts.

And a Jack Frost-themed Christmas event with an ice-skating rink, bumper cars and plenty of twinkling lights to get you in the festive spirit. Chicago’s O’ Hare airport, temporarily, is a 30-minute Uber ride away. Chicago is always on the up. The biggest, buzziest city in the American Midwest, this was the home of the world’s primary skyscraper.

World Cup Hospitality Tickets: Chicago’s Waterfront Lakeside Trails, Urban Beaches, and River Tours

It has finished up a patchwork of art deco marvels, brutalist hulks and modern, glassy showstoppers, creation no trip to the Windy City whole deprived of tour of its architecture. Outside the mighty imposing buildings, this is a place distinct by water. Chicago skirts Lake Michigan, which is clipped with lakeside trails and sandy urban beaches, while the namesake river is worked by ever-popular boat tours.

Then there are the neighbourhoods more than 70 of them, in fact, from a still-mushrooming Chinatown to trendy dens such as Logan Square and Fulton Market. The consequence is a richly diverse city that is more amicable than New York yet more fast-paced than Boston for fans securing FIFA World Cup Hospitality Tickets.

Chicago is certainly one of America’s artistic heavyweights. Its arrival bordered by a pair of much-photographed bronze lions; the Art Institute of Chicago holds one of the world’s largest groups of impersonator art. The place fills up, but brave the troops to see big-hitters such as Monet’s Water Lily Pond A morning here will land you close to some of the best-loved public art in the city to seek out the Cloud Gate statue by Anish Kapoor and the Jaume Plensa-

USA Hospitality Tickets: Sky-High Views Thrilling Observation Decks at 360 Chicago and Willis Tower

By now your neck may pain from gazing uphill, so shift your viewpoint at one of the city’s soaring remark decks. At 360 Chicago, tilt comforts strong-stomached folks out over the city in a moving glass box, until they’re look directly down on the Magnificent Mile district The glass ledge of the Skydeck at Willis Tower.

Chicago has a respected improv scene and the Second City club has cultivated some of the finest names in funniness, including Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. The snug, no-frills joint hosts reliably stellar shows, from party-political satire to side-splitting musical ensembles.

Convivial leaders will point out superstar sights such as the beaux-arts Wrigley Building and the new St Regis hotel, a wavy, glass sweet that is the world’s tallest building intended by a female architect, Jeanne Gang. The Windy City delivers ample chance to get lively. On the Northwest Side, the 606 is its response to the High Line in New York City a raised greenway born of a wild railway.

Or there’s the Lakefront Trail, which spools out for 18 miles, skimpy tourist attractions such as the sandy Oak Street beach. The Lakefront Neighborhoods tour with Bobby’s Bike Hike whisks guests securing FIFA 2026 Hospitality Tickets lengthways the water’s edge and travels regions counting the historic Gold Coast area and the old town.

FIFA 2026 Hospitality Tickets: A Taste of Chicago Comfort Food and Cocktails at Winter’s Jazz Club and Cindy’s Rooftop

Sink into an attractive brown-leather booth and choose between dishes such as fish and chips or rigatoni with wild mushroom ragu Keep things on a high with a sundowner at Cindy’s Rooftop. The general cocktail spot tops the swish Chicago Athletic Connotation hotel and offers substantial sights over Lake Michigan and Millennium Park Mediterranean meets New American cuisine at this trendy neighbourhood for guests securing FIFA 2026 Hospitality Tickets.

Spot full with hanging plants and pendant lights. The focaccia with taleggio cheese and truffle oil is the pick of the menu ask for a side of honey for wet Make lunch a tour of one of the few Chinese districts in the US that is still increasing. It is spread over 30 city blocks and foodie highlights comprise Triple Crown Restaurant.

For fans eager to attend FIFA 2026 matches, a wide array of FIFA World Cup 2026 tickets is available at eticketing.co. Our platform partners exclusively with reputable sellers on the secondary market, ensuring access to top-notch ticket listings from across the web. Explore our Football World Cup 2026 selection to find the best deals available today. Grab your World Cup hospitality tickets from trusted platforms and join the excitement!

[jrpneblog]

New Years resolutions

North End head for the New Year in sixteenth place in the Championship table with twenty six points from twenty three league games played. Twenty one of those have been under Paul Heckingbottom with the turn around has being a little slower than hoped for but very discernable just the same. North End are playing much better football, generally, and look a lot fitter but there still needs to be a real squad refresh in the next two transfer windows. The first two Xam fixtures saw a poor display, in defeat, at QPR last Saturday followed by a much more solid, if unspectacular, performance against Hull City at Deepdale on Boxing Day. The final fixture of 2024 comes on Sunday with a 12:30 kick off against Sheffield Wednesday and North End finish the holiday fixtures with a trip to West Brom on New Years day with a 3:00pm kick off time.

The trip to West London last Saturday saw North End take the lead against QPR only to let it slip very late in the game and probably came away from Shepherds Bush with exactly what they deserved which was nothing. We took the lead in the first half after Osmajic scooted away from a defender who had pulled up with an injury. I thought we were slightly lucky to be going in one up to be honest and the fact that QPR scored early on in the second half didn`t surprise me. However it looked like North End might hold on for a point until Liam Lindsay received a red card for a silly second bookable offence. Even though it was late in the game we were under real pressure and the home side collected all three points with a goal very late on to seal a poor day in London for Heecky and the boys.

On Boxing Day North End made amends for the poor showing at Loftus Road when they collected all three points against a struggling Hull City side at Deepdale. In a game with limited chances North End struck the winner on the hour mark when Kesler-Hayden crossed the ball for Potts to slot home and give North End an industrious win against a side low on confidence and struggling for goals. It wasnt North Ends best display of the season by a long chalk but it was certainly one of the most workmanlike on a Boxing Day when the three points mattered much more to North End than the level of performance.

Sunday sees Sheffield Wednesday visit Deepdale for the final game of 2024 with the game being played just twenty five days after North End drew 1-1 at Hillsborough in the reverse fixture. I thought North End should have won the game over in South Yorkshire that day in spite of Woodman saving a penalty and Potts missing an absolute sitter for North End in the second half. The Owls have a very good away record this season having won five and drawn two of their eleven games collecting seventeen points on the way. They have scored fifteen goals and conceded seventeen and my reading of this game is that if North End can score twice then that should be enough to make it a Xmas double at home and ease us towards mid table.

We open 2025 with a trip to the Hawthorns on New Years Day to take on West Bromwich Albion with the game kicking off at the traditional time of 3pm. Aagin this fixture is a quick turn around with North End drawing at home to the Baggies on November 30th which will be just 32 days after playing at Deepdale. West Brom are having a decent season but expectation is always high in that part of the West Midlands and with much speculation going on regarding their manager they went down 1-2 to Derby County on Boxing Day. Im not saying this will be an easier fixture because there is no such thing in the Championship. However it will, hopefully, be a better time to play them with some change going on at the club. They have won four out of their eleven games at home this season and drawn six with only one defeat. However they have only conceded five goals whilst scoring ten. I have a feeling it will be the same result as the reverse fixture at Deepdale and I am sure Hecky would settle for that.

And finally this week:- the festive period, although packed with football, can be a very emotional time for people and families. I hope you have had the Xmas you and your family hoped for. I had the massive fortune to be born into a Preston North End family and through the good and the bad it will stay with me, and I will stay with them, until the great call comes. Happy New Year, everybody.

.

MATCH PREDICTION

Sheffield Wednesday (H) League - Home Win

West Bromwich Albion (A) League - Score Draw

.

JR`s HIGH FIVES

Blackburn Rovers to beat Hull City 1/1

A £5 Stake returns £10.00 on bet365

SEASONS STATS

Returns £95.77 Stake £100.00

Percentage loss - 4.23%

Predictions 20 won 7 lost 13

[nathjonesey-75]

LV, NV - Part One

Reflecting upon an unearthly amount of sensory stimulation over the course of five days is a rarity. In particular, when the senses of the writer; at the beginning of those five days would have probably benefitted mostly from a damn good rest. So, when you agree to a free flight and hotel break in Las Vegas as a neurodivergent “sin city” virgin, it could be likened to a power surge in a region which already uses more electricity in ninety-six hours than a small country, in a week.

Nevertheless, if the bare bones of leaving a new home in the hands of a tempest, while travelling to a place which – it has to be concurred – must be experienced once in your life, even while northern Nevada is under a state of major emergency due to over twenty thousand acres of land being destroyed by fire; you know there is a story to tell. From prologue to real-time story, to the return – this long weekend may not have Bradley Cooper or Mike Tyson starring, but by the power of Grayskull – eventful, it was.

For full context, the prologue must be covered first – and not in a bleary memory recall type of way which is often associated with movies set in this modern metropolis. Leaving our little, insecure rescue dog so soon after recently losing her older canine partner in crime to old age and illness – was never going to be easy. Having only moved to a new home area ten weeks previously, finding a new, trustworthy dog-sitter would prove to be nerve-racking; and a test of faith. Not only a test of stranger’s ability with our remaining, beloved pup – but of how it indicated the future’s possible journeys away. As I write this on the return flight to London Heathrow – so far, so good. Let’s just hope the house isn’t bugged, missing valuables or holding a sinister surprise upon return. Wink-wink, nudge-nudge. Joking, honestly.

The other grey area of the prologue being the accumulative mental and physical exhaustion, after not only weeks of grief and sorrow – with the need of a truly relaxing holiday overhanging; but the break away having been a work-corporate arrangement, with my wife being grandly rewarded for her performance in the previous financial year of work. If I played a game of “what comes to your mind first?” – in the context of relaxing holidays, my answer would be more like a Greek island or possibly Cape Verde. Guaranteed sunshine, with a backwards pace of life. Vegas would more likely be in a League One relegation zone of locations to unwind, in my mind.

When the first day of the sensory overload weekend – Thursday – was in full swing, driving to Heathrow in heavy rain suggested more of an escape than at first thought. Yet, after boarding the Boeing 787 at 3pm-ish, the dismal skies above decreed it unsafe to have multiple take-offs and landings; thus delaying our departure by ninety minutes. On board, my phone hadn’t actually downloaded the thousands of tracks I’d thought were synchronised over the course of Wednesday evening, so my favourite thing of zoning out and listening to music was also ruled out. Throw in a narrow seat for a tall guy, inadequate service from cabin crew, another delay in landing in Vegas due to air traffic – plus even further delays to our shuttle taking us to the hotel – and an Oasis-Ticketmaster-like queue for checking in at the glamorous hotel – and it became a full twenty-four-hour day of being cattled around the world. In the words of many conscious people at many different points in history, “fuck that for a game of rectum scalding.”

Anyway, our habitation for the four nights was to be the reputedly most sought-after resort hotel in the global home of throwing money away. The Wynn-Encore International. Now, I had no preconceptions of Las Vegas, other than it being hot and seedy. While these were certainly unchallenged expectations, an education it all was. I can verify that it’s not somewhere I’d recommend my father visit – neither for temperature, nor tourist provisions. From my perspective, it was somewhere I could have maximised the stay – had the weekend’s timetable not have been structured in a haphazard way. Nonetheless, it was free and we did as much as we could.

The size of the city with these fixed plans in mind was one big surprise. Having been stuck at the airport eleven years ago, following a disastrous journey from Melbourne to Kansas City; where a cancelled connection flight from LA resulted in a five airport, thirty-two-hour journey – I’d then seen the famous strip from afar. My resulting idea of it was; that as a new city – its expanse would not be too great. Naïve, this proved to be. More than any western city I can imagine, you would really need to zoom in onto a map to actually see how many businesses are in one area – and even then, it wouldn’t be a shop-to-shop stroll between each one. Along with Google Maps’ unreliable journey planning - the distance between resort hotels and the more variable, interesting parts of Vegas became jagged. Monday, pre-return flight became the best time to visit the Arts District. Monday; when many of the businesses in that district were closed.

Ah, well. Rewinding back to the start of the intense block of days – a phrase which I’m very glad someone else in the work group highlighted about the vacation; “everything takes a while to do”. Having arrived on the Thursday the flight’s delay, the shuttle bus to the Wynn had to - you guessed it – wait for the final passengers. In true Nathan style, I rushed off the bus to try edging past other guests, to reach registration and quickly find a hunger-easing snack en route. The sheer, staggering quota of fruit machines where normal, non-Vegas hotels would possess a “lobby” – with the number of guests, made the effort slightly worthless. There was an air of science-fiction about the place – a 21st century upgraded Mos Eisley space station, in fact. You needed foreknowledge of where every required unit was, or a Skywalker land speeder to get from place to place quickly. So, divide and conquer. Mrs Jones can use her travel admin skills to check in at the desk; while Mr Jones would hunt for a shop containing snacks, while of course; avoiding paying a dreaded tip for simple advice in directions from any hotel staff. It took a while.

When we finally got to it, the room was exceptionally grand. Fifteen-foot drapes opened as we entered, with a panoramic view across one neon corner of the city; immediately throwing more childhood science fiction into my mind. “Holy shit, I’m in Biff’s Hotel in Back To The Future 2!” I blurted. As I was so drained from an already twenty-four-hour-day, plus the $9 total for snacks at the shop was not enough food for us – while I appreciated the room and view, we had to order a room service meal. Which took a while. In that time, I laid on the giant bed and flicked through channels on the larger-than-most hotel room television. What I found on national TV was not just spooky, but already memorable for the trip having just arrived. Back To The Future was just finishing; followed by (great Scott, this is heavy!) Back To The Future 2!

There was no way I would make it past the first half hour of the movie, as the food arrived around 10:10pm and though the waiter assembled an extra table by the panoramic window (which took a while) and the film was only a few minutes in by then; as expected – we smash-ate our meals, lights out and crashed for the night. Still, I managed to rotate the television in front of the window and took a photo of Biff in front of the Vegas skyline*.

Thankfully, upon waking the following morning, indeed each of the four days held a stunning, opulent sight. From the busy streets below to the rocky hills in the distance. As long as I zoned out from the gold-coloured, Biff-tainted pillar of a hotel on the right-hand side (which at this point won’t be named), it was all a sight to behold. With each different cloud or natural light arrangement, whether clear blue skies, moody, unpredictable cumulus or a combination of both – there was a sense of “anything could happen here”, from that view alone.

*For those, unprivileged to have grown up with Spielberg’s sci-fi time travel trilogy, Biff’s evil character in that particular film – and his trashy empire of greed which turned the town of Hill Valley into a crime-riddled nefarious alter-ego of the original town – was based on Donald Trump and his hotel. The scene which shows the alternate 2015 from the 27th floor of that hotel, looking down onto the street was a view almost identical to the one from our room, on the 30th floor. Minus the burnt-out cars and street alcoholics, of course!

[aweirdkindofyellow]

The J.A.C.I.E. Project, Pt.4

JACIE Jay-see \ d͡ʒˈe͡ɪsi \ See Jennifer Anna Clara Isabell Evans. An ambitious 21-year-old music student, striving to find her place in the industry.

JACK Jak \ d͡ʒæk \ A guy ten years older than Jacie, who takes a liking to her.

Chapter 4

I was sitting at the dining table, a blank piece of paper in front of me and a pen between my teeth. The midday sun was providing me most of my light through the large window at the front of the house. I was busy trying to write a song for one of my classes, but was really struggling with my lyrics. As much as I loved writing them, having a specific assignment could make it very difficult, especially if inspiration just wasn’t hitting.

It was three days after my birthday. I still occasionally thought about my night with Jack, especially late at night. But I wasn’t expecting anything more to come out of it. Although I had given him my number, I knew how those things usually went. They never even show a single sign of life, let alone any further interest in me. As much as I would have loved to spend another few hours in Jack’s bed, I didn’t have my hopes up.

Much like every other uninspired procrastinator out there, I had my phone close next to me to keep me distracted. I kept telling myself to leave it be, but ever buzz and notification caught my attention and made me spiral into a social media loop again. This time, it was a text from an unknown number that gave me another not-very-well-deserved well deserved break.

Unknown: J.A.C.I.E?

Me: Yeah?

Unknown: Hey! It’s Jack, the guy from your birthday

Me: Hi! I remember very well actually

Of course. It was three days later. He had decided to follow the rule that made you wait three days before contacting somebody you’re sexually or romantically interested in.

Unknown: Just wanted to ask if you’d like to grab some breakfast tomorrow?

Me: Breakfast?

Unknown: To make up for not offering you any last time

Me: I was the one who left for brunch, you couldn’t have offered it even if you wanted to

Unknown: Well, I’d still like to take you

Me: Tomorrow morning?

Unknown: Yeah

Me: Let me check my schedule

I quit the text messages and went on the internet to have a look at my class timetable. Asking me out to breakfast was a little strange. Not that I didn’t like it. I was just very used to getting a 2am ‘u up?’ text if some guy decided to hit me up again. Breakfast to me seemed like a very foreign thing to do if not straight after sex.

Me: Alright, I have a class at 3pm. So, hopefully that’s not too early for you

Unknown: Oh wow, still judging me for not waking up at ungodly hours like you?

Me: 9am is not an ungodly hour. It’s very normal for a day off

Unknown: It’s ungodly after a night of heavy drinking

Me: You jealous?

Unknown: A little

Unknown: Anyway, how about we say 10 then? Which area are you in?

Me: 10 works for me and I’m in Eagle Rock

Unknown: How about we meet half way then? Ever heard of Wild Oak Cafe?

Me: Heard of it, never been

Unknown: I’ll see you there then

Me: I’ll add it to my schedule

Unknown: Maybe you can use it as an excuse for somebody else this time ;)

I went back to trying to write my song, still struggling, but at least getting a few words down. I had to do something. There was no way I could stay up all night trying to do some of the work if I was expected to be somewhere in the morning. I couldn’t show up to breakfast late and all groggy. Getting sleep was important that night.

I hated being late; I always avoided it. Of course, however, I was late to my breakfast with Jack the next morning. It wasn’t exactly my fault, and it wasn’t like I was horribly late, but it still felt horrible. I was one of those people who liked being ten minutes early. What time did I park in the parking lot? Ten past ten. And what time did I finally make it inside? Quarter past ten. Fifteen minutes late was technically twenty-five minutes late, which was practically half an hour late.

My eyes fell on Jack who was already sitting at a small table for two people. He was tapping his foot and scrolling through his phone, not really paying attention to what was happening around him. I just walked straight up to him, since even I didn’t seem to catch his eye when I walked in.

“Hey!” I approached him, finally getting him to look up at me.

“Jacie!” He smiled and put down his phone.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” I apologised and sat down, straightening out my yellow sundress.

“It’s good, you’re not that late,” he brushed it off. “Although… with your sense of planning I was expecting you to come early, so I came early as well.”

“Usually I am, you got that right. But my dad decided last minute that I needed to bring my brother to school when I first left my bedroom. So I did that in my pajamas and had to go back to change.”

“You have a brother?”

“Yeah, a little brother,” I always smiled when I spoke about him, “he’s six.”

“Really? That’s awesome. I’ve got two siblings who are ten years older than me!” He grinned in excitement as if he was glad we had something in common… sort of.

“So you’re actually the young one, eh?”

“Turns out we both might be.” He handed me a menu. “Anyway, I haven’t ordered anything yet, so take a look.”

I scanned over the menu and nearly choked when I saw the prices. This place wasn’t overly expensive. It wasn’t boujee or only for VIPs. But it was definitely generally out of my price range. I spent that much money on my birthday, but that was a special occasion. Jack didn’t even seem fazed by it. Let’s just say it was very LA. Everything about it was, the food and prices. I absolutely loved it and absolutely hated it.

“Is there something specific I’m looking for here?” I asked, trying to test the waters a little.

Was Jack going to offer to pay? If he was, I didn’t want to order something too expensive. Was I going to pay for my food? Because then my only option was a glass of water and a muffin. Maybe he’d offer to pay and really didn’t care what I got. I didn’t know. Money was a difficult thing.

“I don’t know, what do you like?” He tried helping, not really giving an answer to my hidden question.

“Anything under ten dollars,” I half-joked.

“Oh, no, don’t worry about that. I invited you, choose whatever you want.”

It didn’t really make my choice much easier. What was acceptable to get? Then again, it was all around the same price, so it probably didn’t mean much. Except for the salmon breakfast. But why would I want to get that? I wasn’t that fancy. I was LA, but I was not rich LA.

“Was the sex good enough for pancakes?” I inquired.

Jack’s eyes slipped up from his menu and he bit his lip to hold back a smirk. “It was good enough for pancakes, waffles, and mimosas.”

“Well, that’s an honour. I don’t think I’ve ever been rated that high before.”

“I’ll even throw in a few coffees as well.”

He closed his menu to signal that he had chosen what he wanted. I followed his actions, putting it down on the table and crossing my hands over it. Soon after, a waiter approached us and asked us for our order. Jack gave it, recounting everything he told me: pancakes, waffles, mimosas, and two coffees. Surprisingly, I wasn’t asked for an ID, usually I was. Our menus were taken away and we were left to only talk to each other again.

“So, Jacie…” Jack started, tapping his fingers against the table.

“Yeah?” I crossed my legs and leaned back into my chair.

He leaned forward to compensate for the new distance. “Tell me about yourself?”

“Tell you about myself? This sounds strangely like an interview for a job.”

“I’ve gotta make it go full circle,” he defended himself.

“I have actually gone to so many different interviews, I have answers memorised. You don’t want me to fall into that rehearsed script, trust me,” I laughed.

“Okay, I’ll steer clearly away from that then.” He nodded playfully. “How did you interview at Fueled by Ramen go?”

“About as well as I expected,” I shrugged with indifference. “I’m pretty sure I will not be getting that position. But I do still need to find an internship somewhere.”

“Why do you need to find one?”

“I opted to do one as part of my degree. Work experience is always good to have if you want to get somewhere.”

“Right! That makes a lot of sense, actually…” He obviously hadn’t considered the fact that I could have still been a student. “What do you study?”

I smiled. “Music. It’s pretty general, but since it’s my last year, I’ve been mainly focusing on writing and production.”

“Ah, I can see you’re not the managing type.”

“Oh, no, I don’t mind managing.” I corrected quickly with a shake of my head. “That’s the next best thing, really.”

He frowned as our mimosas arrived. “But you said that internship wasn’t for you?”

“I said Experience Management wasn’t my thing. Why would I want to have a job in posting what events and concerts will be happening and actually have nothing to do with the organisation in any way?”

“Huh, yeah, that does sound pretty boring,” he agreed with a chuckle. “I didn’t even know they had people specifically for that.”

“You’d think they’d have a general social media person for that, right?”

“I’ve done my fair share of posting things like that, but it’s promo for myself, so it’s fun.”

“I fully expect somebody’s just bored of the job themselves,” I admitted and leaned back in to take a sip from my drink, which was one of the best mimosas I had ever tasted. “So, all they could think of to make it more bearable was to hire an unpaid intern.”

“Oof, yeah, that’s a no from me.”

“I can do so much better than that.”

Jack grinned at me as he looked me in the eyes, picking up his own glass as well. “Yes, you definitely can.”

[alexsoenomel]

Surprise (Sam Winchester x Reader fluff)

Request by @maddiebwrites : finding out you are pregnant with Sam’s kid

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Warnings: READER IS DRINKING, KNOWINGLY PREGNANT!!!!

Word count: 1828

Note: Thank you for the request Maddie. Hope you enjoy!

Like/ reblog or both if you like it :)

SHOUT OUT TO MY GIRL NATALIE FOR HELPING ME GET THIS FIC TO NOT SUCK!!! FOLLOW MY QUEEN SHE IS THE BEST AND HAS SOME GREAT WRITING SKILLSSSSSS @ambergoddess444​

It took three positive tests, two blue lines and a period that was 10 days late for the realization to hit you like a truck...You were pregnant.

It didn't seem real, especially because you were taking the pill regularly. You knew there was always a risk but you didn't think it would happen to you. You and Sam were always careful, especially because of the life you lived; bringing a child into this world, into your lives, it wasn't right. A child wouldn't stand a chance to have a hint of normalcy in its life, since your life was far from normal. Between mom and dad killing monsters and occasionally saving the world, doing math homework? Sam would probably teach the kid all about demon lore rather than algebra. How can a kid have a normal life when mom and dad were hunters?

You were looking at the three tests, stunned. Your heart was in your throat, trying to process what was right in front of you.

"No, it can't be....No." You mumbled and tossed the tests in the bin next to the toilet. "Fuck no."

How were you going to tell Sam? You never talked about having kids, you just thought it was automatically out of the question since having a boring, suburban life seemed like a fairytale at this point.

You couldn't take the thoughts rushing and haunting your mind so you went to the kitchen and poured yourself a glass of whiskey. One thing you knew, was when you didn't want to think, you would drink. Time stopped after the first sip, and after the second you decided to take the glass and the whole bottle and go back to your room. You completely shut down, scrolling through Tik Tok, sipping on whiskey until you could feel yourself slipping away from sobriety into a drunken state.

Sam was out fetching groceries since Dean came back last night at some ungodly hour, totally hammered, and ate everything in the fridge and passed out. He was still asleep and it was almost 3PM.

It wasn't unusual for your period to be late for five days max; sometimes stress would get the best of you. Being a hunter wasn't an easy job description, but it never occurred to you that it could happen. After five days passed, you bought three tests just in case, without Sam knowing of course.

Thank God you did.

Your eyes and ears didn’t even register the door of your room opening.

"(Y/N)?" Sam asked as his gaze went straight to the bottle on your nightstand. It was still somewhat full since by that point you only had two glasses and it was enough to get you drunk, since you haven’t had lunch yet.

You immediately put your phone down to look at him, taken aback by his presence. You had to tell him.

"Are you okay?" He knew something was wrong. He always knew. You have been together for a long time, he could read you like a book. He told you once, it was easy to see when you were distraught, your face structure would change and your eyes would have a specific glow or no glow at all. Even if you tried to hide it from him, you couldn't.

"Huh? Define okay." You slurred. He sat on the edge of the bed and you kissed his cheek. He was immediately struck by a strong smell of alcohol.

"Are you...drunk?"

"A little, yeah."

"What happened? Talk to me." He was worried and rightfully so. Your eyes were bloodshot as tears were just about to roll down your cheeks. You were holding everything back, trying to bury it deep inside of you, even though you knew you couldn't.

"I-I have a surprise for you," You started as you wiped away the first tear on your cheek. "And you ain't gonna like it."

"What? You're scaring me." Sam’s eyes were wide fixed on you as his face changed, from calm and collected to worried and about to panic. Lips slightly parted after he swallowed nervously, waiting for you to answer.  

You got up with the last bit of strength you had and went to the bathroom to get the tests out of the bin. Sam was frozen and silent. You sat next to him and gave him the three tests you took a couple of hours before.

"I'm pregnant, Sam." You confessed, feeling your stomach tightening as fear took over your whole body. You were still under the influence of alcohol, but sober enough to feel every emotion in you.

Sam was stunned. He was looking at the tests then at you, mouth slightly open, trying to find the words before a huge smile appeared on his face.

"How did we....I mean...." He stuttered trying to find the right words. "I never..."

"You know when we finished that case in San Diego, couple of weeks back? We all got drunk, Dean went to get laid and we had...drunk sex?"

"Yeah? Did I...?” Sam started fidgeting with the tests, checking them again to make sure every one of them was positive before looking back at you with a confused lost puppy look on his face.

"Yeah, I told you to. That's what I remember anyway. First time we came at the same time." Sam immediately blushed hearing those words. You took a sip of whiskey straight from the bottle, feeling the sting deep in your throat. It was strong but smooth.

That night was wild and a night to remember. Flashbacks started appearing in your mind, of you and Sam devouring each other with each kiss, hands all over each others’ skin, like you were teenagers again. You didn't remember much, but it was enough. That night was filled with lust and love so strong it would make anyone jealous.

"Huh, yeah." He smirked. "I still have the marks on my back..." He said, remembering how loud you were that night, how hot you were moaning his name over and over agai- "But wait, aren’t you still on the pill?"

"That's the best part. Yes I am." You laughed. "Yes, I fucking am."

"Hey, hey!" As you were about to take another sip of whiskey, Sam took the bottle from your hands. "No more!"

"Sam! Let me be drunk, I need to process this." You protested, trying to take the bottle from his hands, but he was quick enough to move his hand out of your reach.

"Not with alcohol, (Y/N)! With me!" His tone became slightly louder forcing you to hear him

He was right. He was always right. That's why you loved him so much. Every time you would feel like your mind was slipping away and you would try to get it back with unhealthy coping mechanisms, he would pull you back from it and vice versa. That's why you worked so well.

"Okay." You finally mumbled under your breath. "But what are we going to do? This life is not for a child."

"We never actually talked about having kids." He said and took your hand. His skin was always so warm, especially his hands.

"Yeah, and we have been together for what, 5 years?"

Sam chuckled. "7 in two months, (Y/N)."

You never really cared about anniversaries. You found them pathetic and unnecessary. After two years with him, you completely forgot when your anniversary was, but Sam didn’t. He liked memorising silly details about your relationship. He even remembered the exact date that you first went out, since your relationship started with one drunk kiss and a whole lot of moaning first.

"Seven fucking years and still, every time I look at you I feel like a teenager with a crush." Your confession made Sam smile, but you on the other hand were breaking down. You started crying, every emotion you were locking up inside began pouring out. You loved him so much, sometimes even more than yourself. He was your best friend, your rock, your everything. You couldn't imagine your life without him and you definitely didn't want to terminate this pregnancy. Even with the life you lived, you created this child with nothing but love you had for one another and it deserved a chance.

"Hey, (Y/N), it's going to be okay. I love you and we are in this together." He always knew his way with words. Always.

"Can we cuddle for a little bit, please?" You asked with a light sniffle.

Sam nodded and soon after, you were both under the blankets of the bed you shared, cuddling and him of course being the big spoon.

"You know I would never pressure you into doing something you don't want, right?" He said, placing a kiss on your shoulder.

"I know Sam. But I feel bad."

"Why?"

"I'm aware of the life we both live. I'm aware of everything, but at the same time I do want kids. I want kids with you."

You never actually said it since you never talked about it, but it was true. Growing up, you thought you would never have kids because you never met a person you trusted 100%. Not until you met Sam. Something in you shifted but at the same time it was clashing with your rational thoughts. WAS THAT KID GOING TO HAVE A GOOD LIFE?

"As crazy as this sounds, I also want the same thing with you. And even if you told me you didn't want to keep it, you know I don't have a right to dictate what you can and cannot do with your body?"

You smiled as you took his index finger into your hand as he was pulling you closer to him. It was a relief knowing he thought the same. "Yes I know."

The amount of respect he had for you, the love he constantly showed you with, all you could think was how lucky you were.

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" You asked him, genuinely curious.

"I just want a happy, healthy kid, with mom's temper and dad's humor."

"And Uncle Dean's ability to piss us off." You added, turning around to look at him. His eyes were glowing as he was looking back at you, staring into your soul with his beautiful hazel eyes. His eyes reminded you of two small ecosystems since every colour in them reminded you of trees and life.

You kissed him, feeling a light moan escape his mouth as he kissed back instantly.

"We are going to be parents." He said, still not fully comprehending everything.

"Imagine a mini you running around the bunker and eating Uncle Dean's pie."

"And telling Mommy that Daddy said yes to ice cream for dinner."

"You little shit you are not going to do that." You said messing up his hair a little bit.

"I won’t." He laughed.

"You and Dean are going to spoil this kid to no end. I just know it."