#thread: yoel and jess

[cyberneticatoms]

Yoel rolled his eyes even if he did crack a small grin while giving her a grateful look as he took the cup from her. He was taking slow sips as he listened to her, he'd have nodded along if his neck wasn't killing him. For a brief second he thought about asking her if she could text Chandler for him, before figuring that was the last thing he should be doing. "No...think you already covered everyone for me," he said handing her the cup back, "Josh mention what the media plan is?" Wincing slightly he sat up better to actually get the full picture for what all they were going to be doing now.

"You acted very heroically," Jess replied with a small grin, picking up the pitcher of water and pouring him a glass. After dropping a straw into it, she handed it over to Yoel before once more taking a seat. "It makes me wonder if you should be the one working security and not me." She gave him a teasing look and let out a soft chuckle before continuing. "I've been standing guard outside. Josh's orders. But someone else has taken over now, which means you're stuck with my delightful company, whether you like it or not. So, while we're alone... Is there anyone you want me to contact?"

[chaosandcrimson]

LOCATION: State Fair, Big Three Pavilion FOR: Yoel Waley ( @cyberneticatoms )

It had been rough, watching Trixie tear into Yoel like that. On one hand, Jess had spent enough time in the lower district in the past few years to know that the rage people felt against the Big Three was justified. She knew from her own experience at Epsilon that their rage was justified. But she also knew Yoel, and she knew why he couldn't say anything about the situation even if he did agree that it was messed up. He had family to think about. People that he needed to protect. Technically, she was one of them—her entire existence hinged on their ability to keep secrets, to take their own personal feelings out of the equation when it came to dealing with their employer's business.

"Hey," she said softly as she stepped outside after Yoel. She handed him a bottle of water—a plain one, not a vitamin one, and not branded by Epsilon. "It can't have been easy to hear all of that and not be able to say anything." She offered him a small smile. "Care for some company? We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

[cyberneticatoms]

Yoel had been idly sipping at his water before simply fiddling with the water bottle in his hands. His lips twitched a tired huff slipping out at the mention of his smile. Swallowing he stared at the ground, "This fucking sucks," he finally said after a moment. Glancing up at her, his lips turned down into a frown, "I don't know why I was stupid enough to think it could've been different. Mean might as well let Josh pick out someone for me, least we'd both know what we're in for."

After a decade of existing thinking that she wasn't even a real person, and wondering why she experienced emotions that she should not have been capable of, Jess knew better than most how important it was to allow yourself to feel what you felt. There was a reason she walked around with her heart on her sleeve, expressing her feelings freely and openly; because for a long time, she wasn't supposed to have any feelings at all.

"It's not fine," she replied, her tone gentle but still insistent. "You don't have to tell me how you feel. And when we get back inside, I know that you're going to break out that winning smile of yours and pretend like nothing is wrong, and I will pretend like I don't know that's a lie. But right now..." She shrugged. "It's not fine, and you're allowed to hurt. Even if it's just for a few minutes before the show inevitably has to go on."

[cyberneticatoms]

Yoel visibly relaxed when Jess said Z was with Ven. It meant if he needed his dosage adjusted she'd notice immediately. The look on his brother's face when Asuka had been loaded into a stretcher, he'd recognized it from the last time something like this had happened.

"You know I thought that leg surgery to get taller was the worse thing I've done, this was worse," he mumbled. Voice low as he realized how dry his throat felt, the pain in his back was manageable for now. Though it was hard to find a comfortable position as he caught Jess's gaze. "You've been here long?"

Jess smiled and hugged him back, which from her vantage point was wrapping her arm around his shoulders and leaning against him, rubbing circles on his back with her hand. "We appreciate you too," she replied, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to the side of his head. "At the end of the day, for better or worse, we're all in this together."

"Hey," she said as she walked into the private room at the hospital and closed the door behind her. She had been standing guard outside, and someone had finally arrived to relieve her; which was good, because her and Zarina had also been taking turns caring for the Waley brothers. "Z is with Ven. He's not doing too well but he's hanging in there." She dropped down into the chair with a tired smile. "How are you holding up?"

[cyberneticatoms]

Yoel had given another shrug before slowly glancing up again when Jess touched him. A small smile tugged at his lips as he let out a sigh, part of him grateful he was sitting when he tugged her into a hug. Leaning his forehead against her hip, "You and Z always made a lot of this easier, I appreciate having you guys around," he mumbled. Even if he still had secrets it felt better knowing the option was at least there to someday tell them more, knowing they wouldn't judge him for it.

"It does fucking suck, and you're not stupid, Yoel," Jess replied, turning to face him fully. "You're human. You caught feelings. You can't always help who you fall for." She took a deep breath, reaching out to gently grab him by the arms, running her hands along them in an attempt to be comforting. "For what it's worth, you might be Yoel Waley to the world, but that's not who you are to me, or to the people who really know you and love you. There's a reason I asked you to be my first. You're one of the best people I know." She smiled sadly. "It's not fair that you're in the position that you're in. And I can't change it, but at least you know that someone else knows it's not fair."

[cyberneticatoms]

Yoel was blankly staring forward at nothing in particular, for one of the few times in his life he fully envied Ven. Ven who didn't have to keep a million secrets, Ven who had someone so completely into him that it didn't matter how much shit their family was in. It wasn't fair to either him or Asuka, but feelings weren't fair in general. Running a frustrated hand through his hair, he'd scream if he didn't think it make front page news.

Glancing up, his shoulders slumped in defeat he took the water with a grateful nod. He took a long sip and sighed as he listened to Jess. "Mean what else is new right? Feels like everyone has something to snap at me lately." Sure he and Tanner had made up but it was another reminder to how alone he'd been feeling lately. "I'll be fine, she said what she needed, her sister is never going to speak to me again and...it's fine," he said trailing off with a shrug.

LOCATION: State Fair, Big Three Pavilion FOR: Yoel Waley ( @cyberneticatoms )

It had been rough, watching Trixie tear into Yoel like that. On one hand, Jess had spent enough time in the lower district in the past few years to know that the rage people felt against the Big Three was justified. She knew from her own experience at Epsilon that their rage was justified. But she also knew Yoel, and she knew why he couldn't say anything about the situation even if he did agree that it was messed up. He had family to think about. People that he needed to protect. Technically, she was one of them—her entire existence hinged on their ability to keep secrets, to take their own personal feelings out of the equation when it came to dealing with their employer's business.

"Hey," she said softly as she stepped outside after Yoel. She handed him a bottle of water—a plain one, not a vitamin one, and not branded by Epsilon. "It can't have been easy to hear all of that and not be able to say anything." She offered him a small smile. "Care for some company? We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

[chaosandcrimson]

"You acted very heroically," Jess replied with a small grin, picking up the pitcher of water and pouring him a glass. After dropping a straw into it, she handed it over to Yoel before once more taking a seat. "It makes me wonder if you should be the one working security and not me." She gave him a teasing look and let out a soft chuckle before continuing. "I've been standing guard outside. Josh's orders. But someone else has taken over now, which means you're stuck with my delightful company, whether you like it or not. So, while we're alone... Is there anyone you want me to contact?"

Yoel visibly relaxed when Jess said Z was with Ven. It meant if he needed his dosage adjusted she'd notice immediately. The look on his brother's face when Asuka had been loaded into a stretcher, he'd recognized it from the last time something like this had happened.

"You know I thought that leg surgery to get taller was the worse thing I've done, this was worse," he mumbled. Voice low as he realized how dry his throat felt, the pain in his back was manageable for now. Though it was hard to find a comfortable position as he caught Jess's gaze. "You've been here long?"

[chaosandcrimson]

Jess smiled and hugged him back, which from her vantage point was wrapping her arm around his shoulders and leaning against him, rubbing circles on his back with her hand. "We appreciate you too," she replied, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to the side of his head. "At the end of the day, for better or worse, we're all in this together."

"Hey," she said as she walked into the private room at the hospital and closed the door behind her. She had been standing guard outside, and someone had finally arrived to relieve her; which was good, because her and Zarina had also been taking turns caring for the Waley brothers. "Z is with Ven. He's not doing too well but he's hanging in there." She dropped down into the chair with a tired smile. "How are you holding up?"

Yoel had given another shrug before slowly glancing up again when Jess touched him. A small smile tugged at his lips as he let out a sigh, part of him grateful he was sitting when he tugged her into a hug. Leaning his forehead against her hip, "You and Z always made a lot of this easier, I appreciate having you guys around," he mumbled. Even if he still had secrets it felt better knowing the option was at least there to someday tell them more, knowing they wouldn't judge him for it.

[chaosandcrimson]

"It does fucking suck, and you're not stupid, Yoel," Jess replied, turning to face him fully. "You're human. You caught feelings. You can't always help who you fall for." She took a deep breath, reaching out to gently grab him by the arms, running her hands along them in an attempt to be comforting. "For what it's worth, you might be Yoel Waley to the world, but that's not who you are to me, or to the people who really know you and love you. There's a reason I asked you to be my first. You're one of the best people I know." She smiled sadly. "It's not fair that you're in the position that you're in. And I can't change it, but at least you know that someone else knows it's not fair."

Yoel had been idly sipping at his water before simply fiddling with the water bottle in his hands. His lips twitched a tired huff slipping out at the mention of his smile. Swallowing he stared at the ground, "This fucking sucks," he finally said after a moment. Glancing up at her, his lips turned down into a frown, "I don't know why I was stupid enough to think it could've been different. Mean might as well let Josh pick out someone for me, least we'd both know what we're in for."

[chaosandcrimson]

After a decade of existing thinking that she wasn't even a real person, and wondering why she experienced emotions that she should not have been capable of, Jess knew better than most how important it was to allow yourself to feel what you felt. There was a reason she walked around with her heart on her sleeve, expressing her feelings freely and openly; because for a long time, she wasn't supposed to have any feelings at all.

"It's not fine," she replied, her tone gentle but still insistent. "You don't have to tell me how you feel. And when we get back inside, I know that you're going to break out that winning smile of yours and pretend like nothing is wrong, and I will pretend like I don't know that's a lie. But right now..." She shrugged. "It's not fine, and you're allowed to hurt. Even if it's just for a few minutes before the show inevitably has to go on."

Yoel was blankly staring forward at nothing in particular, for one of the few times in his life he fully envied Ven. Ven who didn't have to keep a million secrets, Ven who had someone so completely into him that it didn't matter how much shit their family was in. It wasn't fair to either him or Asuka, but feelings weren't fair in general. Running a frustrated hand through his hair, he'd scream if he didn't think it make front page news.

Glancing up, his shoulders slumped in defeat he took the water with a grateful nod. He took a long sip and sighed as he listened to Jess. "Mean what else is new right? Feels like everyone has something to snap at me lately." Sure he and Tanner had made up but it was another reminder to how alone he'd been feeling lately. "I'll be fine, she said what she needed, her sister is never going to speak to me again and...it's fine," he said trailing off with a shrug.