#tigssister!reader

[hermankopusortizorsumshite]

PART ONE!! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY READ PART TWO!

WARNINGS!!! Depictions of blood, fear, drug abuse, heroin abuse, and smut. Some smut always some smut. Kozik’s too hot not to smut all the time. Aynwhom. This is really long, I’m sorry. But enjoy. Also its so angsty and break your heart, but put it back together. I promise.

Lastly here’s some little babies from the first part:

“Alex! I’m home! Me and H are headed to hang out. You makin’ dinner?” She asks as she steps into the little two bedroom apartment. Her brother sat at the table looking through some files. The lanky, tall blonde following right behind her caught Alexander Trager’s attention for one second before he waved them off.

“Busy, you make dinner.” He drones as he continues reading. The two scamper down the hall to her room, Herman ditches his kutte at her door, hanging it on a hanger on her doorknob. He was quick to find his usual spot in the corner on a black beanbag. He was a year older than her, but after being kicked out of his parents’ house, Tig offered to let the kid stay with them considering he was a prospect and his kid sister’s best friend.

She slid open her desk drawer and shrieked at the sight of the fake white rat. Tig, her brother’s famous club nickname, came sprinting down the hall to find the blonde rolling around on the floor and her standing at her desk, arms folded over her chest and a pout on her lips.

“Alex! He put a fake mouse in my desk again!” She whines, tossing it to her brother. He laughs, tossing the rat onto the blonde before shaking his head and walking away. She pulls her hair from its ponytail as she shimmies out of her jeans and into some shorts. Herman, nor her brother, had the guts to tell her she wasn’t twelve anymore. She had a beautiful curvaceous body and some of her clothes were too short. Herman’s eyes drank her in, her beautiful curvy butt and smooth supple skin. She was so pretty and she didn’t even know it. Yanking an old shirt of Herman’s over her head, she gets ready to go make dinner.

“What you gonna make?” Herman asks as they head to the kitchen.

“What are you gonna make?” She retorts, poking him in the chest.

“...Yeah, okay. I’ll get ‘em around. Yeah. Got it.” Her brother claps the phone shut and frowns at the two kids. “Get a bag packed. We’re on lockdown.”

“What’s lockdown?” She asks, eyes flicking between Herman and Tig confused.

“It’s where everyone stays at Teller-Morrow for a few days while we sort some shit out. So I’m gonna head out, you two be there in an hour. No later.” He points a stern finger at the two before he turns and heads to his room. “Oh, and change your clothes. I don’t want guys all over you.” She frowned and ignored him, going into her room and packing the things she needed. Mostly it was shirts, jeans, shorts, sweats, and her favorite pillow and blanket. She had forgotten that Jackson Teller and Opie Winston would be there. They were all close friends in school, not as close as her and Herman of course, but they all coincided well. As she finished packing, she gave a groan and pulled on a pair of leggings instead, as was asked of her by her brother.

“This is so stupid. I had plans, with you of course. But I still had plans!” She whines as Herman takes the bags from her hands and loads them onto his bike. He laughs at her whining.

“I mean, we’re still hanging out. Just, ya know, with three hundred other people.” She stopped walking, her eyes growing wide.

“Three hundred? No, H. I’m not going.” She shakes her head and starts back inside.

“Yes you are!” He calls, grabbing her up and carrying her under his arm to his bike. Strapping on her helmet, he climbs and gets ready, taking off towards TM. She held tight to him as he flew down the back streets, giggling all the way there. “Here, wait a minute. I’ll grab our stuff and I’ll go with you.” He wraps her blanket around her, chuckling at how cute and innocent she looked wrapped up in a pink fluffy blanket with unicorns on it.

“H, can’t we just go back to the apartment? You’re a strong guy, and a prospect. Can’t you just babysit me there?” She crows as she starts back towards his bike.

“No, now come on. It’ll be fun. I promise.” He assures, patting her head like a child. She groaned and headed inside, greeting her brother.

“You and Kozik okay sharing a room?” Tig asks, waving to the young man who walked behind her with two duffels and two pillows.

“Kozi—oh. Yeah, we can share one.” She smiles, giving a nod. Jax was already hitting on girls, Opie was hitting a girl from her class named Donna.

“Celeste, come say hi to everyone.” Tig calls his little sister over to the group of guys he was sitting with. With a shy little wave, Celeste quickly follows Herman to the back room. Once she found it, he was already lying on the bed, chatting on his cellphone.

“...I know. You comin’ to the clubhouse? Oh yeah? I look forward to it. Hey, have a good night baby.” He coos, hanging up. Celeste was waiting with a grin to ask him about this mystery girl.

“Ooh, who’s the girl?” She asks, poking at his sides as she crawls up next to him and covers him with the blanket.

“Oh, no one.” He chuckles, ruffling her curls and absently twisting a single banana curl around his finger.

“Really? You called her baby. And she’s coming here. You have a girlfriend, don’t you!” She squeals, hugging him.

“We’re not official yet, so don’t be flapping about it.” He warns, giving her a smile and nuzzling her forehead.

“Dinner’s ready! Kozik you got a girl here for ya!” Jax shouts, banging on the door. She drops her blanket on the bed and he sees what she’s got underneath. She’s only wearing a sports bra with those same shorts.

“When did you ditch the leggings? You gotta change, your brother’s gonna flip his shit.” She cackles and stands, yanking open the door and heading back to the main clubhouse, giving the woman in the a hall a grin as she sauntered by. Kozik peeks his head out the door to see her sashaying down the hall. Shaking his head, he greets his pretty girlfriend at the door with a smile and a kiss.

“Sorry, she’s just my best friend. That’s the girl I live with, and her brother.” He points out Tig from the bedroom. He leads her into the room and shuts the door, her lips attacking his as they tumbled onto the bed. Kozik finds enough time to yank off her clothes and she pulls off his. He’s two thrusts in when Celeste comes in crying, not noticing at first the two people on the bed. Grabbing a pair of baggy sweatpants she turns to find a crazy scene before her. Kozik was bare naked, deep in his girl and she was in awe. Staring at his body. He was beautiful. The muscle he built from working all summer.

“Christ Celeste! Get out!” He shouts, tossing his shirt at her. Shaking her head, she covers her eyes and heads back down.

“Sorry! I’m sorry.” She cries even harder, yanking his shirt over her head. “Ooh my god.” She whispers, filling her plate. Ten minutes later, Kozik heads down with his girlfriend. He finds her sitting at the table with Jax and Opie, but she’s secluded, nibbling on her plate.

“Baby, I gotta go apologize. I shouldn’t have yelled at her.” He hushes, kissing her cheek and handing her his plate of food.

“I mean, she’s the one who barged in.” He slides into the booth next to Celeste, dropping an arm over her shoulder, only for her to duck from under it and zip away. Grabbing her blanket and pillow, she started searching when she found an empty closet, she shrugged, figuring that would do. Hiding in there, she had a few old blankets in there and a couple extra pillows.

A few hours passed, and when she thought it was safe, she ran to their shared room to get her backpack and ran back.

“Has anyone seen Celeste?” Kozik asks to anyone that would know. Most people shake their heads. Shrugging it off, he grabs Jen’s waist and leads her back to their room. All the while Celeste sat in the closet, doodling the gorgeous figure of Kozik burned into her brain. She wasn’t sure why it stuck, but it did. His strong biceps bulging, the dimples kissing the bottom of his spine, his round butt. Was she thinking about how hot he was? She flips to a new page, starting a list of things she’d need to leave Charming. She was so sick of being in Alexander’s shadow, and under Herman’s arm. Any time a man looked in her direction, it was a big deal. Herman was her date to every single school function. She had decided there, in that closet at eleven twenty-five PM, that once this was over she’d leave Charming, California. She was ready to experience the world. Nodding in confidence, she started to write a letter to her brother and to Herman. At some point she fell asleep, notebook stuffed back into her duffel-bag, using the duffelbag as a pillow.

“I have some more blankets in here—“ Gemma jumps back, grabbing her chest. Heading back down the hall, she knocks on the door of Kozik’s room. The blonde’s sleepy head peeks out, scrubbing his eyes. “Tig’s kid sister is sleeping in the hall closet.” She snorts, jabbing a thumb over shoulder. He pads down the hall, popping open the closet door and laughing. First sliding her duffel back onto his arm, he scoops her up blankets and all and carries her down the hall back the room they shared. He gingerly lays her on the bed before he crawls in next to her. Herman’s girlfriend had gone home for the night saying her dad still gave her a curfew, so she left around one in the morning.

Celeste inhales sharply, rolls over, curling herself around him. He quietly cuddles her to him as he stuffs his nose into the crook of her neck in his sleep. In the morning, as they wake up he finds himself cuddling her a little bit closer as the morning sun comes through the blinds. Pulling her closer to him without a second thought, his lips press gently to the shell of her ear and down her neck. Moaning into his touch, she peeps one eye open and her body goes rigid. Was Herman the one giving her all of these sensations? His sleepy nose found her throat and his lips left lazy kisses across her collarbone.

“H, H.” She whispers, gently shaking him. As his lips press against her throat, he opens his eyes wide, confused as to why he swore he heard her voice.

“Oh shit.” He mutters, jumping outta bed and pacing the floor. All she could do was laugh.

“Christ, H. It’s fine.” She giggles, watching his hands rake through his hair. He gets back into bed, hovering above her as his hand comes up to feel her breasts. Sucking in a breath, she arches into his touch as his lips replace his hand. His tongue flicking out and sucking a nipple into his mouth. He grinds his hips and hers jut up to meet his. She had no idea what he was doing to her but she was in love with it. “Herman.” She gasps as his fingers slip into her under her panties.

“Celeste, baby girl, you have no idea what you do to me. Those short little shorts, oh baby.” He groans in her ear, letting her give a sharp inhale as a response. He loved the way she squirmed under his hands, the way her body responded to him.

“Why-why didn’t you say something?” She asks, rolling against his body. Her hands pull at the fabric of his shorts. She needed anything separating them gone, she yearned so badly to feel the bare skin she’d seen the day before. His hardness rubs against her as he kicks off his shorts and boxers. “You’re so beautiful.” She whispers, taking his cock in her hand and gently stroking it, licking the tip before taking the whole thing in her mouth, making him groan and tighten his hold on her hair.

“Babygirl. If you don’t want to do this please tell me.” He whispers, trying to control the urge to slam into her.

“Herman, you’re my best friend. If I didn’t want this, I wouldn’t be here.” She gushes, kicking off her shorts and panties.

“Baby.” He whispers, smoothing his thumb down her cheek as he smiles at her.

“Don’t kiss me.” She whispers.

“What?”

“Don’t kiss me. It can’t be platonic sex if you kiss me.” She informs, letting him grin down at her.

“Yes, ma’am.” He murmurs in her ear, nipping at her earlobe and pressing hot kisses down her jaw. Sliding on a condom, he slowly slides into her watching her eyes widen at the warm intrusion. “You okay, baby?” He asks, pulling out and slowly pushing back in, forcing his hips into a slow steady rhythm.

“H, if you don’t go any faster I might literally explode.” She giggles, fingers sifting through his golden hair, gripping the back of it. His eyes shut for a moment as he picks up the pace, but he quickly looks back to her again, to find her grinning and gripping tightly to the backs of his upper arms. As they rounded near their high, he felt the hot need to kiss her. He needed her lips on his when he finished. His lips danced dangerously close to the edge of her lips, but he made a promise. Covering her mouth with his hand just as he slammed his lips down to hers, he rode it out before he pulled gently out of her.

Giving a whine at her emptiness, he draws her against him and kisses her cheek and the shell of her ear. “Goddamnit.” He mutters, jumping out of bed and getting dressed in his average jeans, black tee shirt and kutte, pulling on his socks and boots. She laid there, watching him still in pure bliss. He gives her one last glance before he steps into the hall and shuts the door. Grabbing her notebook from her bag, she scribbles down the date and Herman Kozik, the day she fell in love with her best friend’. She waited a few minutes until she found the strength to get up and get dressed. She was feeling confident, slipping into her tightest pair of faded denim shorts, a blue tank top, pulling her hair back into a bun and sliding her converse on her feet she headed down. Kozik’s eyes land on her immediately, steam coming out of his ears seeing her short shorts.

“Morning!” She sing songs, grabbing Herman’s hand and letting him spin her around like he did every morning. But there was something about it that wasn’t the same to Tig. He stared at the two until she started walking towards him. When he saw the little tiny ready marks on her chest and jaw, he knew what had happened.

“Kozik, can I talk to you?” Tig asks, waving him over. Kozik’s heart began to thunder as he made his way over to her brother. Out of earshot from Celeste and everyone else, Tig growls low at the big blonde. “You have sex with my sister?”

“No man.” He retorts.

“Kozik. She’s got little red marks on her chest.”

“Okay, yeah. I did.” He mutters, feeling his heart thunders harder, thinking it might explode. Tig just laughs, pats him on the back.

“I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t one of the other guys here.” He slaps him on the back with a hand before heading back to his breakfast. Kozik stood watching her as she mingled with the other bikers and wives, making him smile. He dared to say he was proud of her. The only problem now, is that every time he looked at her, he saw that girl. The one arched underneath him, begging him for more. He licked his lips as he strolled up, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple before smacking her butt.

The next three days passed pretty quickly and everyone was filtering out to head home. But she wasn’t going home. She had arranged to leave Teller-Morrow with all her belongings to venture off on her own. She’d talked to Tiggy about it and he reluctantly agreed. They’d kept it from Herman as much as they could.

“Alright everyone. You’re all free to leave, if you could all say your goodbyes and get ready to go.” She waves and hugs most o the wives and children of the main bikers.

“Alright baby. I got the car loaded. You sure about this?” Tig asks, gripping his little sister in a tight hug. She nods with a smile.

“Yeah, I gotta stand on my own. Don’t worry Alex, I’ll be back. And I promise to call.” She assures, hugging him tight once more.

“You better. You better go see your lover boy.” She nods, feeling her heart drop to the pit of her stomach. She finds him standing in the shop, working on his bike. Flashing him a grin, she comes up and sits on the ground next to him.

“Hey, pretty blue eyes.” She giggles, knocking his shoulder playfully.

“Hey, you ready to escape this hellhole?” He laughs. She would miss the big grin he always had when he laughed, the way he squinted when he grinned.

“Uh, actually I’m heading to Los Angeles.” She murmurs, almost hoping he wouldn’t hear it. His screwdriver hits the concrete and he looks at her with a confused expression.

“You’re leaving Charming?” He asks, brows furrowed.

“Yeah.” He stands at once, smacking the dirt from his palms on his jeans as he heads in.

“Where you going?” She calls.

“I gotta pack, Celeste.” He calls never turning around.

“Herman, I’m going alone.” She calls. He stops and waits a second. “I’m leaving alone.” She watches as he turns and faces her, stalking towards her. Excitement and fear bubbles in her chest, not sure if he was going to kiss her or kick her ass.

“Alone? Like by yourself? It’s not safe!” He barks, anger storming his pretty blue eyes.

“I’ll be okay, hun. It’s okay. I’m doing this for me and for you.”

“How is this for me?” He thunders, stepping closer.

“Well, as long as I’m here your girlfriend will feel threatened. So, I mean.”

“Right. I’ll go get my stuff.” He chuckles as he turns away from her. She reaches out and grabs his arm.

“Herman Kozik. I’m going alone.” She nods confidently. He faces her, the anger replaced with fear. “I’m going alone.” She whispers, reaching for his face.

“Is it me? Was it the sex? Goddammit. I knew I pressured you. Fuck! I’m sorry!” He babbles, his hands finding her arms and pulling her against him.

“No sweet boy. It’s just time for me to figure out life. You did nothing wrong, sweetheart. I love you, Herman. You’re my best friend in the whole world. This is just something I need to do on my own.” She assures, testing her hands on his chest as it rose fell like crashing waves on a beach.

“And you’re sure?” He asks, pulling himself away from her.

“Yeah, I am. I promise it’ll be okay.”

“Nah, it’s all good.” He nods, popping her door open and waving her into the car.

“Can I-can I hug you?” She asks, reaching for him. Sucking in a sharp breath, he waves her to him.

“Christ, sweet girl.” He groans, gripping her impossibly tight to his chest. “Wait here, I got something for you.” Pushing her away from him, he jogs inside and grabs his sweatshirt, a long sleeved shirt, a tee shirt, and a pocket knife. Jogging back out, he hands her the wad of clothes and drops the knife on top. “It’s one of everything. Ya know, so you don’t forget me. I love you, Celeste. You’re my best friend. You’re sure you don’t want me to go?” He tried once more.

“I’m sure, sweet boy. I love you, H.” She whispers, pressing her lips so lightly to his. “It can’t be platonic if you-“ he smashes his lips to hers.

“Fuck your platonic.” He whispers, giving her a sweet smile and turning to head back to TM. Alex sprints to her wrapping her in a huge hug.

“I love you so much kid. Please please be careful.” He whispers, his eyes glossy with unshed tears.

“I love you too, Alex. Don’t worry, this guy taught me how to fight dirty. I’ll be okay. I’ll call every stop I make. Okay?” She whispers, swiping at his tears.

“Absolutely. I love you, kid. Now go before Kozik gets a second wind.” He chuckles, letting her climb in the car and shutting the door after her, his hand pressed to the glass.

“Bye!” She calls as she waves, pulling out of the parking lot. Kozik paced the bedroom they shared, not sure what to do. He’d never been without her. He supposed he was scared, for her and for himself. Grabbing his kutte and his bike keys, he heads to his bike.

“Kozik, where you headed?” Tig calls, trying to catch up.

“I just wanna make sure she gets out of town okay, I won’t follow her out of Charming, just let me do this. I need this.” He whispers, climbing on his bike and leaving the lot, following the path she took. His eyes landed on her red Honda and he followed her to the edge of Charming. But curiously enough, she stops at the Welcome to Charming’ sign. He watches as she climbs out and her eyes meet his, a hand landing sassily on her hip.

“H, I swear to God-“

“I’m not. Just wanted to watch you leave Charming.” He hushes, finding it near impossible to speak. His heart hurt so bad. His eyes avoided her figure and the general direction of her car.

“Jesus christ. You really are tore up about this. Why?” She asks, stepping closer.

“Because I’ve never been on my own. I’ve always had you. I had to take care of you. I’m scared of what could happen. A million scenarios played in my head the minute you drove out of that parking lot, I just wanted to make sure you got out of Charming safely.” He lied. He would follow her as far as she’d let him go.

“Awe, H. It’ll be good for us.” She hushes, tears filling her eyes when she sees the tears on his cheeks. “Please just go home. It’ll hurt less.” She whispers, reaching for his hand that gripped tightly to the handle.

“It hurts so bad right now.” He mutters, yanking her tightly against his chest, sobbing into her shoulder. “Sorry, I’m sorry Celeste. Whatever I did, I’m so sorry. I’ll take it back.” He gabs into her ear, holding steadfast to her.

“H, it’s not your fault. Listen to me, sweet boy, this isn’t your fault.” She assures.

“It has to be.” He murmurs, nuzzling her neck and gripping her shirt.

“I’ll be back, sweetheart.”

“Not soon enough.”

“Herman,”

“I know. Just give me another minute.” He whispers, tears falling again. She grips his kutte, soaking in as much love as he could give her. “I don’t wanna let go.” He mumbles, sniffling. “Please don’t leave.”

“Hey—-“

“Don’t say anything.” He begs, gripping her hand as she steps away from him. “I love you so much.” He whispers, wiping his face. She mouths ‘I love you’ to him as she grabs the door handle. Climbing into the car, she heads past the sign, breaking his heart once more. The tears fall down his cheeks until she’s out of sight. Kicking his bike to life, he heads to the ugly side of town to do some fighting. He to get her off his mind, his body ached physically and he was exhausted. He missed her so much.

A year away from home had been so good for her. She was in college, working nightly at a club. It was almost time to take a trip home though, when her phone rang.

“I’m sorry, Celeste.” It was a soft, weak whimper through the phone. Her heart chilled, goosebumps covering her body as she began to panic. It was Kozik, she would know that voice anywhere. He never answered her calls, ignored her when Tig tried to help.

“H?” She croaks.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispers, she could hear the thickness in his throat, that he’d been crying.

“Herman? What’s going on?” She asks, tossing her apron in the bin and grabbing her keys off the hook. Her boss gave her a confused look, but she waved it off. ‘I gotta go’ she mouths as she runs out the door and starts her car. “Herman? Talk to me hun!” She shouts as she shifts onto the expressway.

“I’m so sorry. You’d hate me.” He whispers, sniffing.

“Herman, it’s gonna be okay. Listen to me! Can you call Tiggy?” She asks, shifting into first gear and jamming her foot to the floor.

“No, I wanna talk to you.” He whimpers.

“Okay hunny. You keep talking to me. Are you in danger?” She feels the tears prick at the corner of her eyes as she drives ninety for Charming.

“Maybe.”

“H! What’s going on?” She shouts.

“I started a bad habit.” He whispers.

“It’s okay. We’ll get through it. You know we can. I got you.” She assures, slot-racing through traffic.

“You left me.” Tears fall down her cheeks.

“I didn’t mean to abandon you. I’m so sorry. Sweet boy, hold on. I’m on the highway. Just hold on.” She coos.

“You’re coming home?” He asks, his voice so brokenly hopeful.

“Yeah, sweetheart. I’m coming home. Just for you, so hold on for me. Okay?” She cries.

“I’m so sorry Celeste. I shouldn’t have started this. I should’ve just left you alone. I just miss you, ya know?” He cries.

“Herman Kozik, I miss you too. I’m almost there, please hold on. What did you start?”

“Heroin.” He whines. She couldn’t breathe. Heroin killed her mother.

“Herman, you don’t stick that needle in your arm. You got me?” She shouts, fists hitting the steering wheel.

“I can’t.” He cries.

“Herman, hold on. I’m almost to the exit. Have you been hanging out at the clubhouse?” She asks, trying to make conversation.

“No, been too high.” He chuckles.

“Oh Herman, hunny. Don’t use that needle. Do you understand? I’m an hour away.” She informs, handing quaking with their grip on the steering wheel, white knuckles.

“I love you so much Celeste.” He whispers.

“No! Herman no! I love you too. Please just hold on!” She shouts, gripping the steering wheel willing the car to go faster. Shifting into the exit lane, she flies into Charming doing ninety-two miles per hour. “Herman, where are you?” She asks.

“Our old apartment.” He murmurs, the phone dropping and clattering to the floor. Flooring it for his place, she forgets about the cops in this town. She was leading a high speed chase through Charming to get the apartment. Clambering from the car, she sprints inside and up the stairs to the apartment. Kicking at the knob when she finds it locked, a few kicks and she’s into the apartment. He’s on the floor of the living room, arms flopped to the sides barely conscious.

“Oh hunny.” She whispers, grabbing him and hauling him against her.

“Celeste?” He asks, nodding in and out of consciousness.

“Yeah, I’m here sweet boy.” She whimpers, hugging him tightly and sobbing into his shoulder. Dragging him onto the couch, she pulls a blanket over him and slowly walks down the stairs to meet the officers. David Hale, a man she graduated with, Wayne Unser, and five more cops stand there, blue lights flashing.

Celeste gives an awkward wave, toes coming together in embarrassment.

“Celeste Trager?” David calls, shielding the blue lights from his eyes to see her better.

“Hi David!” She calls, voice quaking.

“Jesus Christ Starship! Did you call your brother?” Wayne yells, giving them a signal to shut their lights off as he walks towards her.

“No, I got a weird call from Herman. It was an impromptu trip.” She chuckles, giving Wayne and David a hug.

“Great, next time, call ahead. I have very officer out here wondering why the hell you’re about to get out of this. Kozik hit it again?” He asks, nodding up to the apartment.

“Yeah, how long?” She asks.

“Not sure, Mayans started running heroin maybe two months ago. You better call Tig. He’ll be pissed if you don’t.” Wayne pats her on the shoulder and heads back towards his car. David follows suit, but he hands her a small bag. Naxolone’ is what the label said.

“He doesn’t need it now, but if he overdoses, use it. Find a meaty part of his thigh, arm, or ass, and hit him with this. Use the whole thing.” He informs, pointing to the little vial in the kit.

“David-“

“It’s not a matter of if, dear. It’s a matter of when. Hopefully you’re with him.” He rests a hand on her shoulder before heading to his Jeep and leaving. Heading back up, she takes in the sight before her. The place was a disaster. Clothes, empty boxes, a random things strewn about. She spent five hours cleaning. Pulling out the drawer next to the sink, she found it didn’t open all the way. Digging her fingers to the back, it clicks, and releases the back of the drawer, exposing his collection of drugs. Bile rose in her throat and she ran for the toilet, losing what little she’d eaten into the bowl.

“Who’s here?” Herman shouts, jumping from the couch gun raised and pointed in her direction. Standing and flushing, she washes her face and steps out of the bathroom only to meet the end of his pistol, the cold metal pressed against her forehead. “What?” He asks, staring at her with wide eyes. He’d had this trippy dream before. “Not again. You’re not real.” His hands begin to quake and he drops the gun onto the little table, finding his way to the kitchen. Digging into the drawer, he finds his cache empty and he turns, his eyes taking in the clean apartment around him. Blinking a couple times, his eyes find her again and his breath hitches in throat.

“Hey pretty blue eyes.” She whispers, reaching carefully for him.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” He asks, backing against the counter.

“You called me.” She frowns, eyes searching his.

“I did not.” He hisses, scratching is chest.

“Yeah you did. I drove ninety all the way here. I haven’t even called my brother yet.” She argues, stamping her foot.

“Tell me why you’re here, other than I called you.”

“You kept saying sorry, it scared the shit out of me. When did you start doing heroin? Who got you hooked on it?” She fires, stepping into his personal space. He tried to step back once more but it didn’t work.

“I’m not.”

“Jesus christ Herman! Quit lying to me!” She shouts, grabbing his face in her hands.

“Leave me alone!” He cries, shoving her back against the table. Landing on the chair, it collapses under her weight and one of the legs breaks, sticking into her leg. She gives a shriek, grabbing her leg as blood starts to pool. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” He whimpers, dropping to her side, grabbing at her face.

“Just call Tig.” She hisses, pushing him away from her, hurt that he’d shoved her. His heart broke, seeing her injured. He felt so bad, tears filling his eyes. “Call Tig!” She cries, grabbing at her leg. Grabbing her phone, he finds Tig, seeing the last call two days ago, he dials. He hadn’t called her once since she’d left.

“Hey, it’s Kozik.”

“You okay? What’s wrong bud?”

“I hurt Celeste. Tiggy there’s so much blood.” He cries, leaning against the wall as he racks with sobs.

“Kozik? Is this real?” He asks.

“Yes! Tig!” She shouts, making Kozik sob harder. A string of curses leaves his mouth as he instructs Kozik on what to do.

“I can’t Tig. I can’t get closer to her.” He whimpers shaking his head.

“Kozik! Don’t you give up now kid! You gotta be strong! Come on! She’s gonna die!” He shouts, Kozik’s eyes watching as she begins to pale from blood loss.

“Aw Tig, what did I do?” He cries, dropping the phone in the blood.

[hermankopusortizorsumshite]

PART TWO! SAME WARNINGS: smut, blood, gore ish, and drug abuse. SMUT

She faintly hears the roar of the bikes and she smiles. She was gonna be okay. She could still hear Kozik sobbing in the background when Tig burst through the door. His baby sister lying atop a broken chair, a spindle broken off in her leg, breaking skin on the other side, a lake of blood on the floor, Kozik sitting in it quaking and shivering.

“Christ, someone grab him. Call an ambulance, Juice grab a towel to tie off the leg.” Tig kneels in the sticky blood, caressing her head in his ringed hands.

“Alex.” She whispers, a hand meekly reaching for him only to fall into the blood.

“It’s okay baby. It’s okay.” He whispers, letting Chibs tie the towel as tight as he can to curb the bleeding until the ambulance arrives.

“I’m sorry Celeste.” A soft whisper escapes Kozik’s lips over and over again like a chant.

“Kozik, what happened?” Tig asks as the medical team stabilizes her leg and gets her out of the apartment.

“Kozzie boy, what ‘appened to the girl?” Chibs asks, resting a hand on the man’s shivering shoulder.

“I pushed her. I’m so sorry. Tell her I’m sorry.” He murmurs, sinking back into the pool of blood. Jax and Opie pull him back up, taking him to the shower and washing the blood off him.

A few days pass, Her heart racing when Kozik walks in the room, hands folded at his waist and his eyes on the floor.

“I can’t, Tig.” He turns to leave but her voice stops him.

“It’s been a year, and you haven’t returned my calls, yet you aren’t even going to visit me in the hospital?” She calls. He sniffles.

“I’m sorry, Celeste.” He whispers, heading out of the room.

On the day she’s released Tig greets her at the door. They head out together and he drops her at him apartment.

“You be careful in there.” He calls.

“There’s only two more chairs.” She giggles, heading inside to find him. There’s a needle on the table, freshly used, and no Kozik in sight. “Pretty blue eyes?” She calls. Hearing the bedroom door open, his head appears from down the hall.

“Christ, I’m so sorry. Look at you.” He smiles, grabbing her arms and swinging them wide to get a good look at her.

“You look pretty beat up. You doin’ okay?” She asks, eyeing the table.

“I’m okay. That’s from yesterday. I haven’t shot up today at all.” He nods, proud of himself.

“Aw, sweet boy I’m so proud of you.” She smiles reaching for a hug. With wide arms, her draws her in, hugging her tightly.

“I missed you so much.” He whispers, sniffing back the tears. “I’m sorry I never answered your calls. I’m sorry I let you bleed out on the kitchen floor. I’m sorry for calling you when I should’ve just left you alone.” He gushes, hugging her a little tighter as he buries his nose deep into her neck. She was warm and comfortable and everything he wanted and needed.

“It’s okay. I’m just worried about you, ya know?”

“I know, I’m going to rehab tomorrow. Will you drive me?” He asks, leaning a little ways back. She grins at him and kisses his forehead.

“I’d love to.” She pats his shoulder before heading into the kitchen to find something for them to eat.

The next morning she found him sitting in the living room with a small bag packed and a nervous smile.

“You ready for the best decision of your life?” She asks, patting his shoulders. He stands and pulls her into a hug.

“I love you so much, pretty girl. You literally saved my life.” He cries, his big hand caressing the back of her head and his cheek pressed warmly and gently against hers.

“Not yet I haven’t.” She giggles, pressing a cute little kiss to his cheek and grabbing his hand. “Let’s go, big baby.” She chuckles as she leads him out of the apartment and down to her car.

“Thank you, Celeste. I couldn’t do this without you.” He gives her a serious look. As she walks him to the door of the rehab center, her heart begins to pound. He leans down to kiss her, but she turns her head, his lips landing on her cheek.

“You can give me a non platonic kiss when you’re sober over a year. Got it?” She giggles, poking a finger into his chest. A little defeated, but he nods, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“I love you so much, Celeste. Thank you.” He whispers.

A year passes and she receives a letter in the mail. She was living back in Los Angeles again, with her current boyfriend. Opening the letter, it reads:

Hey you,

It’s officially a year.

Is that kiss still available? Kidding, kidding.

But hey, I joined the marines. It’s going well so far.

Can’t wait to see you again sometime. Maybe I’ll be

Stationed in Los Angeles someday. Anyway, just wondered

How you were doing? I miss you a lot these days.

Really sorry about that heroin phase. Thanks for

Believing in me, pretty girl.

I love you!

Herman Kozik

Tears fall down her cheeks as she reads the letter over and over again.

Her boyfriend peeked over her shoulder to see a Polaroid picture gripped in her fingers, her other hand clasped over her mouth as she sobbed tears of joy.

“Your brother?” He asks with a smile.

“No, my best friend.” She smiles, sniffling as she wipes away the tears.

As the years went by, they lost touch once more.

“Hey! It’s Alex. Uh, you gotta come home. We’re going on lockdown and I need you home.” He informs, and she starts packing immediately. She didn’t question him. She packed her bags and got in her car heading for Teller-Morrow. Upon arrival, she was greeted by Juice and all of her favorites. Jax came over holding a baby and a squeal escapes her as she races to greet him and his little angel.

“Aw Jax!” She coos, grabbing the baby from him and coddling him close to her, grinning at the little dude and cooing little nothings at him. She hands the baby over to the blonde, gripping him in a tight embrace.

“It’s good to have you home. You should consider moving back.” He chuckles, waving his baby in her face like a carrot on a string.

“You’ll have to do better than that to get me to stay here. But that little guy is pretty cute.” She grins, poking the baby’s cheeks and getting a precious laugh.

“Oh shit, here comes Ope and Tig.” Jax warns as Opie comes jogging towards her with two kids and Donna close behind. A bigger grin broke across her face as she jumps into his arms.

“Jax was right. I gotta move home! I’m missing so much!” She cries, a few joyful tears falling down her face as she hugs Donna tightly and introduces herself to their two children. Tig waits impatiently for her to get done.

“You just keep getting prettier.” Tig ruffs, gripping her in a tight hug.

“And you keep getting older.” She croaks, gripping back just as tightly. She’d missed so much of everyone’s lives and it broke her heart. They all had growing kids and beautiful families. She wondered what her life would’ve been like if she and Kozik had stayed.

“Let’s get you inside. Got a few guys you should meet.” Tig huffs as he drags her inside. She meets Happy Lowman, the Tacoma Killer. A tall bald man with lots of tattoos, but an overwhelmingly loving demeanor; at least she thought so.

“You okay with that, Tiggy?” She almost knew that voice. Something about the gravel in it and the sweet ting made her heart skip. Ducking through the crowd to see who the owner was; she finds herself staring at him.

“Yeah, it’s really great.” Tig bites. Kozik got in Tig’s face grinning. “You want a kiss?” He asks, frowning at him. She hid a little while longer, just to be sure the man she was watching was in fact him. Herman Kozik. Pulling the Polaroid from her purse, she compares the man to the photo. The twinkling blue eyes, the same stupid spiky hair; without a doubt. Somehow time had done well by him. He’d gotten a little taller, a little broader in the shoulder, and he’d filled out well; decorating his skin in ink that drew her in. The leather fit tighter on his shoulders, his jaw was straighter and her heart was pounding so hard she could barely hear.

“How the fuck are you two not married?” Gemma asks as she steps up next to the petite Trager girl.

“I-“ she couldn’t say anything. She was too enthralled by his beauty. He wasn’t a nineteen year old kid anymore, and neither was she.

“Go talk to him. He’s got a Polaroid of you in his kutte pocket. Been asking Tig all day when you’d be here. He’s suffered enough.” She chuckles, walking away.

“Christ.” She mutters, shooting tequila before she makes her way towards him. As she got closer, her legs got weaker. How had it happened? Time had sculpted him into a beautiful statue of stone hard muscle and beauty. Finally as she tripped over her own feet, she collides into his back, bracing herself against him.

“Woah!” He chuckles, turning and grabbing her hands. Helping her up, he leads her to the bench seat, grabbing her a beer. “You’re already falling for me and I don’t even know your na—“ His mouth snaps shut. She found herself swooning at the sound of his deeper laid back voice.

“Hey you.” She whispers, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she looks up at him. His beautiful twinkling blue eyes met hers and he was home again. Nineteen years old lying on the beanbag in her bedroom laughing at her getting drunk enough to try dancing. “Are you gonna say something now smooth talker?” She giggles, poking his chest. One thick finger reaches for her chin and lifts her eyes to meet his.

“Celeste?” He asks.

“Herman?” She asks, side-eyeing him with a smirk. In one slick movement, he’s crushing her against his chest, which got wider and stronger. She swore she heard a sniff, but she didn’t care. She hadn’t felt so at home in so long, happy tears streamed down her face.

“Tell me something, Celeste. Is that one year kiss still a thing?” He asks, smirking at her.

“Herman Kozik, if you don’t kiss me right now, I might literally explode.” She giggles, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his lips.

“So what happened to platonic?” He asks, poking at her sides.

“Fuck being platonic. I love you.” She whispers, grabbing a handful of his spiky hair and kissing him harder.

“I love you too. I’ve been waiting for you to come home for so long. Tell me right now that this is just the beginning. Because I saw the way you looked at Jax’s baby. I want that with you. I want it all with you. Be my old lady, Celeste.” He begs, squeezing her hands in his.

“Herman—of course.” She whispers, letting him slide a ring on her finger with a little round diamond atop it.

“Thank Christ.” He heaves, gripping her tightly against him once more.

“Can I show you something?” She asks, unbuttoning her shirt at the table.

“If it involves any more skin showing, no.”

“It doesn’t.” She assures, pulling off her top shirt to reveal a cropped tee and under her breasts, the wings spread to cup her breasts, was his crow. ‘Herman Kozik’ written across her ribs.

“How long have you had this babe?” He coos, his fingers running delicately over the ink, tears filling his eyes.

“I got it for your one year.” She murmurs, shyly pushing her shirt back down.

“You did this for me?” He hushes, his hands snaking around her back and sliding her into his lap. His hands rest in the small of her back, his face pressed against hers. “Did you say if I don’t kiss you you might literally explode?” He asks. She nods, giving him a knowing smile. “You sly little girl.” He whispers, kissing the sensitive skin under her ear. “Don’t kiss me, or it won’t be platonic. We were scared of a word I didn’t even know the meaning to.” He laughs.

“You don’t know what it means?” She asks, mockingly offended.

“Not a clue, but at nineteen, I figured it was bad.” He laughs.

“Platonic. Non sexual.” She cackles, tipping her head back. He took advantage, his lips meeting the smooth skin of her throat.

“Non sexual. Jesus Christ. We were fucking, and I couldn’t kiss you, because it would be non-platonic. Let’s try this again, ya know, non-platonically.” He huffs in her ear, scooping her up and making his way to the room they shared at nineteen.

“Herman, I love you so much. I love you.” She whispers, kissing his chin and cheeks and nose.

“I take it you missed me.”

“I wanna see just how many tattoos you’ve gotten since we turned nineteen.” She croons seductively in his ear. Removing his clothes as fast as possible, she takes in the ink decorating his perfect skin. The S O A’ that donned his chest, her fingertips brushing over it as her lips meet his smooth chest, kissing the letters.

“Christ baby.” He huffs, fingers tangling in her hair.

“Don’t kiss me.” She warns with a dangerously sweet smile. He growls, taking her down onto the bed, his lips meeting hers in fit of heat and desire.

“Babygirl, I’m gonna kiss you so much, you’ll get sick of it.” He growls low in her ear, and just like when they were young, she arched against his body and it drove him crazy. With his eyes locked on hers, he watched the moment he slid fully into her, like a movie on her face. First her eyes grew wide, but then her lip was being bitten and her head rolled back eyes closed. He ground hard against her, and she loved it. Stopping his thrusts, she turns over on her tummy, sticking her ass in the air and pressing her head down. his tongue passing over his lips before he slides back into her at a new angle, he reaches down, grabbing a handful of her hair at the base of her neck as she bounced her ass back against him.

“Herman Kozik.” She whines as they get closer and higher. He reaches around her bouncing hips and fingers find her sweet spot, flicking and rubbing the sensitive nub, pushing her over the edge and watching them both fall into bliss.

“Christ. That was better than I ever pictured it.” He breathes, pulling the sheet up over the two of them.

“You imagined it?” She asks with a giggle, her fingertip lightly tracing the letters on his chest and neck.

“Babygirl, I thought about you under me way more than I’d like to admit.” He chuckles, kissing her lips lazily before pulling her back against his bare body.