#trans people are valid no matter how they present

[c00and]

Uncertain flame of hope I found

Will you lead me back on the right track?

uncensored version under the cut

[metalocalipsis]

You don't have to be a whole different person after you transition. You don't have to change your mannerisms and your fashion style just because you transition. You don't have to change your interests just because you transition. You don't have to be any stereotypes or follow any gendered rules just because you transition. Just do what you feel is right! If you want to change your fashion, do it! If you want to indulge in new interests and leave some behind, do it! If you want to do anything for yourself, do it! But you don't owe anyone and you are not obligated to conform to any standards whatsoever. You're you and it's gonna be hard to be someone you're not even if it's what it appears other people want from you. Do what makes you happy

[ugly-anarchist]

I don't think you're a trans ally until you accept trans people who don't want to transition. And I don't just mean medically.

I mean trans men who look indistinguishable from cis women and trans women who look indistinguishable from cis men and they're happy like that. Who have no intention of changing their style, presentation, or even pronouns.

Some women don't look like the stereotypical idea of "woman" and it's the same for men. But they're still men and women. I need you to understand that gender has no bearing on appearance and people's comfort in their own bodies is more important than the fictional idea of what manhood and womanhood looks like.

And, yes, some people can't transition due to disability or funds or whatever and they're included in this, yes. But you need to accept people who don't want to either. Who willingly make the choice to not transition in any way because that's how they're the most comfortable.

A trans person who doesn't transition is just as much their gender as anyone else of that same gender. Please get that through your head.

To any trans men who don't want to transition or change their appearance in any way: You're a man. You've always been a man. You will always be a man.

To any trans women who don't want to transition or change their appearance in any way: You're a woman. You've always been a woman. You will always be a woman.

The way your body looks doesn't matter in the slightest, your gender is real and legitimate and valid regardless of any other factors.

[jade-curtiss]

The odd thing is most people do know how to make neutral sentences and will make neutral sentences most of the time, especially if there's an ambiguity. But in the last few months, I've noticed a certain rise in people doing what come across as "accidental" misgendering, and it's especially in public settings in happens. At first I thought I was just being overly anxious or self aware, because discussions regarding that are always shrugged away as an "accident", but...which I considered might be the case, but then other people told me they were going through the same problem, with the same sudden rise, while putting a way bigger effort I do to "pass" than I do. Like in my case I usually just find it awkward to get called "m'am" on days I have a visible beard by people with a higher voice I do, and if I perform feminity I know they'd call me "sir", because that also happen. And in context, like, I'm a bit pissed at anyone who tried to convince me those things were "unintentional", because in every situation I remember, what stuck to me is that those were all situations in which the person deliberately wanted to rise something up. And those situations were all in working situations, in other words in situations in which I had to really tone down any kind of reaction, and given my reactions (or forced lack of in most cases), it was never in good faith and always very intentional (and some of them were openly degrading but...aight lmao, apparently they didn't knew better, of course.

[deathdetermineslife]

I love you non-sharing selfshippers! your f/os loves YOU and only YOU!!!!! no matter what anyone says, they'll always love and care for you. keep doing you!!!

I love you iffy-sharing selfshippers! your f/os value you so much!! your f/os love you so much!

I love you sharing selfshippers! your f/os love you! your f/o appreciates you!

I love you selfshippers who aren't sure what your sharing status is! that's okay! your f/os love you regardless!

I love you poc selfshippers! your f/os think you're so amazing and wonderful! your f/os love you so very much?

I love you fem selfshippers! your f/os think you're so beautiful! they're lucky to have someone like you in their life!

I love you masc selfshippers! your f/os think you're so handsome! they're grateful that you're with them!

I love you nonbinary selfshippers! your f/os love you no matter how you present or what pronouns you use! they think you're so valid!

I love you queer selfshippers! your f/os will always respect whatever label you go by! even if you change labels a few times!

I love you trans selfshippers! your f/os will always support your identity! they hope you know they love you so much!

I love you disabled selfshippers! your f/o hopes you know your disability is not a burden to them and they love you so much!

I love you mentally ill selfshippers! your f/o will always do whatever they can to help you! no matter what it is, they want to support you!

I love you selfshippers! please know that you deserve the world, no matter what hatred is spewed your way. your f/os love YOU. they love you. no matter what people try to say to you. with all the meanness going around in this community the last few months towards poc and women and folks with mental illness and disability and people who are nonsharing most recently, I want to remind you all how much you're valued here. I hate seeing anyone be sad or upset because they feel like they don't have a place here. you do have a place. your f/os love and appreciate you and you're so valued here in this community, even if people say otherwise. at the very least, me, and whoever reblogs this appreciates you.

no unkindness will be tolerated underneath this post! in fact, I implore you to maybe even tag your friends or mutuals to show them you care! spread the love and positivity. go say something nice in someones ask box (not mine, preferably a stranger or a mutuals who might need some kind words!)

if you ever need a pick me up, feel free to come back and look at this post for as long as you want. you're loved, you're valid, you're appreciated, and you matter. YOU have a place here. don't let ANYONE who treats you meanly make you feel otherwise.

I LOVE YOU SELFSHIPPERS!! I love you I love you I love you. /p TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES AND REMEMBER YOUR F/OS LOVE YOU TOO !!!! :DDD go do something nice today! even if it's something little for yourselves !!! :D

[leeloooonfire]

based on this post about Steve's internalized bi-phobia:

Steve has known for years.

And how could he not when Tommy's freckles come back tenfold each spring like a flower peaking it's head through the last layer of snow? Or when Matthew Carver's hair have a reddish brown tone that turns blond after they spent the last days before summer break practising outside and remind Steve of liquid gold? Or when he watches Star Wars and Harrison Ford, rugged and witty, comes into view and twists his stomach in knots? How could he not know?!

Steve knows he finds guys as attractive as girls, known for many, many years. But.

But he can't. Not when Tommy sneers at that boy in their literature class who likes flamboyant clothes and wants to be an actor on Broadway. Not when the people they meet in Indi who are like Robin and Eddie 'fully queer' and talk about people like Steve as if they're traitors and scams. Not when he reads the newspaper and is assaulted by Reagan and his folk preaching about the 'fag pandemic' or how his father nods in approval and mutters 'another sinner gone for good' when the news play on TV and they occasionally mention the crisis that kills people like Robin and Eddie and him.

Like him....

It doesn't matter how much he loves sleeping with his nose pressed against Eddie's collarbone or that he thinks he'd like to kiss Eddie and hold his hands and wake up beside him until they're old and wrinkly and complain about bad knees.

He is, but he cannot be a queer, half a fairy '50% like me, 50% like Eddie' as Robin jokes.

He will not be a bisexual, he can keep it inside, keep it hidden, buried deep inside him no matter how much it pains him. He can be the straight friend who goes to pride and bakes rainbow cakes and marries a woman even though his heart screams in an ear ringing cacophony, 'Eddie, Eddie Eddie Eddie!'

This is how his 20s go: loud and hurting and yearning and hiding and more noticeably being disgusted and ashamed of himself for simply being able to love men the way he can love women.

He's 29 when his wife, Becky, leaves him. It's not just Eddie and this shameful secret that weights heavy on their relationship, but the scars and all the other secrets he is unable to explain to her that drive Becky finally away - back to Boston. She leaves him alone in that tiny house they bought three years ago with their Saint Bernard puppy they lovingly named Bernadette.

He's 30 when he goes to a coffee meeting of the bisexual group meeting in Chicago, nearly turning the car multiple times, hands and knees sweaty with fear that they won't want him there. They do want him there, welcome him with open arms, and talk about things Steve knows all too well: 'When I fell in love with the first girl, I ran. I like men just fine, so I hid my crush. It's just easier, when your parents hate gays, when the world is shaming our community, when we're dying.' He finds a second home there, and learns - learns about queerness and bisexuality, about trans and gender non conforming people and physical attraction versus emotional attraction. He learns about his past and present and about his future, about their history and where they want to go, how they want to mold their world to fit people like them into it without the pain and the hiding.

Steve is 33 when he finally comes out to everyone dear to him. To the kids who aren't kids anymore and to Joyce and Hopper, and then his parents. this does not go well, but Steve doesn't want, doesn't need their validation anymore. He has his family, his friends, his support system who love him not regardless of his sexuality but because of it, love him because it's part of him. He comes out to Becky, too and that goes much better. they want to be friends, in the future. She's also met Gary who works the the NY Times and wants her to follow him into the big city. So Steve is looking forward how that goes, their tentative friendship.

He is 34 when Eddie comes back from his latest world tour and wants to take a break to rekindle with his uncle, to write new songs, to take a breather. It's only natural that Eddie moves into Steve's guest room and takes over his space on the couch where he cuddles Bernadette while Steve is in the kitchen and makes them grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner.

Its even more natural when their feet meet while watching a movie and they lean into each other in the kitchen, dawn barely there, while they wait for the coffee maker to finish.

Steve's 35 when Eddie finally kisses him and he kisses back. No hurt, no shame, no guilt gnawing on him, Steve finally allows himself to be with the person he truly wants - regardless of their gender.

[so-i-did-this-thing]

hi nicholas! i hope your having a nice day. i have to sound very stupid for a minute, but i could not find a clear answer and im hoping you can help me out. other than being attracted to trans people, what exactly is it that designates someone to be a "chaser" ? i know there ARE distinctions, im just in the dark about the issue and i'd rather not be. it seems like indifference to trans experiences might be part of it, judging by your recent tags? thank you for the help if you answer this 🙏

For me, a "chaser" is someone who is attracted to transness in ways that objectify the trans person, seek to control how they present, and even invalidate their identity.

In my own experience with my BFF-turned-abuser, he framed me as a "safe" (ie, no balls touching) way to engage with his bisexuality. Whenever he called me "best of both worlds", I felt reduced to my vagina. He was obsessed with me staying twinky and non-threatening to his own masculinity, to the point of him discouraging me from starting T. My transness was a dirty little secret to him and he was ashamed whenever I tried to stop being stealth, even among friends. He wanted to control my presentation so that I could satisfy his fetishes. I never felt like a man around him. All this and we never even fucked. (I was not interested in him sexually, thank god.)

Compare to my spouse, who engages with me sexually with an understanding and respect of my boundaries, and who has never sought to control how I present myself to the world. I feel validated and safe, and being told my dick is hot feels like it being attached to *me* only magnifies any of its inherent eroticism.

We all have our preferences and, yeah, trans bodies are hot in some cool and unique ways that can make people go feral. That's cool and can actually be affirming and sexy. But it becomes a problem when you only treat people as their parts, and especially when you treat them as sinful secrets, despite your own enjoyment.

Trans women tend to be far more eloquent on the subject, and I encourage you to find and listen to what they say here, am happy to amplify any comments on the matter.

[bumbled-bees]

How Lily Draws In Her Audience

One of the more disturbing aspects of Lily’s influence is that she specifically attracts people who are vulnerable—people who have been abused, marginalized, or mistreated—and then weaponizes that against them.

For abuse survivors, especially those who are still healing, it’s easy to latch onto someone who speaks with absolute certainty. Lily presents herself as someone who’s been through it all, who knows what abuse looks like, who sees through manipulation—but in reality, she just demands blind loyalty and paints anyone who questions her as an abuser.

A few ways she traps people:

She presents herself as an authority on abuse. Since many of her fans are survivors, they naturally trust her judgment. But she exploits that by redefining abuse to suit her needs, convincing them that anyone who criticizes her must be an abuser.

She provides a "safe space"… that’s actually a trap. The more people invest in her community, the harder it is to leave. If they start questioning her, they risk losing their entire support system.

She feeds into their fears and trauma. Many of her fans have a deep fear of being manipulated again. Instead of helping them build healthy skepticism, she teaches them to see her enemies as manipulators while blindly trusting her.

She isolates people from outside perspectives. Any criticism of her is framed as “transphobia,” “abuse apologism,” or “bad faith.” This keeps people locked into her narrative because they fear being seen as bigots or enablers.

Lily also specifically appeals to neurodivergent and LGBT+ fans by framing herself as a champion for marginalized groups—someone who "tells it like it is" and "fights for the oppressed." But in reality, she weaponizes their experiences and struggles to keep them under her control.

How She Hooks Neurodivergent Fans

A lot of neurodivergent people, especially autistic folks, struggle with black-and-white thinking, difficulty navigating social nuance, and a strong sense of justice. Lily exploits these traits by:

Presenting herself as a voice of moral clarity. Many ND people prefer clear-cut rules over messy social politics. Lily gives them that by framing every situation as good vs. evil.

Encouraging "righteous" anger. Many ND people have been dismissed, gaslit, or ignored in real life. Lily taps into that frustration, making them feel validated—while directing their anger toward her enemies.

Punishing critical thinking. If someone questions her, she dismisses them as "brainwashed," "supporting abusers," or "part of the problem." Since ND people can already struggle with social cues, they may second-guess their own instincts and default to trusting her version of events.

Using a rigid rule system. Her community operates on a set of unspoken but harsh, inflexible rules. Break one, and you’re ostracized. Many ND people follow strict rules in social settings to avoid conflict, so they adapt to Lily’s without realizing they’re being manipulated.

How She Hooks LGBT+ Fans

Lily markets herself as an unapologetic trans woman who doesn’t care what cis people think. This attracts other trans and queer people, many of whom have faced discrimination and feel like they have to “play nice” in society. Lily offers them an alternative:

"You don’t have to be polite anymore." She encourages LGBT+ fans to be openly hostile to their critics. This is appealing to people who have been bullied, harassed, or discriminated against. But instead of healthy boundary-setting, Lily fosters a siege mentality—"you’re either with us or against us."

Weaponizing transphobia accusations. Any criticism of her, no matter how valid, is labeled transphobic. This makes her LGBT+ fans afraid to question her, because they don’t want to be seen as betraying another queer person.

Claiming she understands LGBT+ oppression better than anyone. She dismisses any queer person who criticizes her. She uses this as a way to delegitimize her LGBT+ critics—even though many of them respect her identity but simply disagree with her behavior.

Lily’s entire mode of operation hinges on controlling the narrative. She doesn’t present arguments—she declares facts and expects her audience to accept them without question. If you challenge her version of events, you aren’t just wrong in her eyes; you’re malicious, an enemy, a “stalker,” or a “bad faith actor.”

This is why she never provides evidence or proof for her claims. She doesn’t feel she needs to. Her authority as a figure in her community is enough for her followers. If Lily says something, then it’s true by default. Any contradictions or inconsistencies get hand-waved away because her fans trust her, not facts.

Her black-and-white mindset reinforces this. There is no room for nuance in her world. Either you support her fully or you’re against her completely. There’s no middle ground. This ensures that even when people start noticing inconsistencies, they’re unlikely to speak up for fear of being branded as part of the enemy camp. It’s easier to rationalize the contradictions than to risk being exiled.

This same strategy applies across all aspects of her behavior. She tells her fans Joon the King’s documentary is just drama and should be ignored—so they ignore it, despite the fact that it presents mountains of evidence.

This is why Lily thinks she can lie so freely. She assumes her audience won’t remember or care if she contradicts herself. And in many cases, she’s right. Because she’s conditioned them to trust her above all else.

[oyubaat-tapcaf]

Masculine Gothic 🦇 — tips for passing

…because I feel like people struggle with the fine line of masc and fem in goth!

About me (afab trans masculine): I tend to dress in military goth, cybergoth, rivethead inspired outfits with a tad bit of deathrock and trad goth so this guide may give you those vibes.

This guide is about what I do, to appear more masculine even though I wear makeup and such.

Disclaimer: Goth is genderbending and has never followed rules! These are just things I picked up over the years which make me feel a lot more masculine. You don’t have to follow these tips to present masc, again, do what you love and have fun, that’s the most important thing! You are valid, no matter how you present!

General

The most general thing I’ve discovered is, that masc presenting people mostly put a lot less „effort“ into their style, they're less polished and dressy. They may put on fancy outfits, makeup and accessories but a lot less than femme presenting people. So my usual guide is

Less is more!

That doesn’t mean you can’t go all out and be creative! There’s just some little things that can make a huge difference!

Clothes Pants

Relaxed fitting Skinny Jeans look wonderful! Make sure the pants sit a bit loose and straight around the hips, buy in the men’s section!

Mid rise pants in general

Leather pants

Straight fit looks good, especially if you're small, boot cut can look masculine too, if the rest of the outfit works with it, make sure, pants are not too wide and flowy

You can wear skirts if comfortable! Male goths love a good skirt! If you struggle, maybe start with a kilt, a lot of men wear kilts in the scene

Tops

Tank tops are your best friend. Cut the sleeves off a shirt and put holes in it, paint it if you want to (If you have a bigger chest like me, don’t be afraid of it. I understand, we usually want to hide that part, yes. But sometimes, a tight fit can look way better than a loose shirt. I own some tight fitting tank tops and they look very sporty and androgynous on me! I love the look, even though I was a bit uncomfortable at first)

Dressy leather coats, make firm shoulders and give a mask silhouette! Bonus point if they reach your mid thigh, hides the curves yknow

Blazers! So many blazers! Decorate them, cut them whatever! They make you look very manly! (Make sure to buy in the men's section for extra boxy shoulders, the women's ones usually have a curved waistline, that can look femme)

A simple black dress shirt buttoned or unbuttoned always looks good

If you like to wear baggy shirts and have a big chest, think about buying a „minimizer bra“ these things push the chest tissue a bit outwards and abolish the hated „monoboob“

Long sleeves with cuts on the shoulders/ arms look cool! The holes can enhance wide shoulder if placed correctly

Vests (I prefer to leave them open)

Accessories

A chunky belt with chains/ hooks/ studs worn low on the hips (hides the curves)

Harnesses that wrap around your chest and shoulders rather than your waist. Look for harnesses that have wide leather strips not dainty ones. They need to look chunky!

Chokers yes! But maybe tend to minimalistic ones. I have a super worn down spiked collar, works magic

A peaked hat! I feel like it makes me look a lot more masc and it looks epic, like a mortician

Chunky rings

Short, painted nails

Maybe no dangly earrings just minimalistic ones

Shoes

Platforms for extra height

DocMartens always slay

Boots that reach you mid calf work best, don't wear too high boots

Too much accessories on the boots are not typically masc, maybe stick to minimalistic combat boots (think of those viral demonia boots. They slay! But I feel like they are pretty femme)

Make Up

Of course you can go crazy with make up! The scene has always been super into makeup, no one cares if you are male, female or whatever. Though, there are some things I have picked up over the years that make a difference between masc and femme presenting people.

Tips for a masc make up look:

Smudged Eyeliner is you best friend. You can wear it everyday. I have some with glitter in it and it looks super cool

Keep your eyebrows natural, if they are very light, just but brown-ish mascara on them. (Obv you don’t have to if you prefer a defined brow! In my experience I feel like masc people tend to leave their brows as they are and focus on the eyes)

Black lipstick is a look. Yes, it feels very feminine but I see so many men with black lipstick, it’s totally normal in the scene

Instead of a clean white base, try a light shade of makeup or just leave your skin as it is! No pale base is needed, goth comes in all skin colors!

Contour according to masc contour tutorials

Eyeshadow is cool, maybe try to put some below you eyes aswell, get creative rather than following what is modern

Generally don’t be too perfectionistic. Clean make up looks kinda dressy. Smudging always allowed!

Hair

First and foremost, do what you like. It doesn’t matter if your hair is short or long.

I have straight hair so I can only give a real opinion on that. I’m sure you can adapt a lot of these tips for curly hair too!

For long hair:

No regular bangs

Just leave it be, don’t style it too much let it flow!

A half ponytail or bun is pretty masc, think of Gerald of Rivia, this works with most hairtypes, also with locks or braids!

Don’t be afraid of your forehead! Men have typically bigger foreheads so don’t hide yours!

Deathhawk and big hair always works! No matter what hair texture you have

Prefer a bun over a regular ponytail

Shaved sides

Color doesn’t really matter, do what you like

Slicked back looks super hot

Avoid too much „face framing“ with strands (this doesn't count if you're an elf)

For short hair

Try an undercut

Gel is your friend! A strict hairstyle is very common, especially in military goth fashion

If messy, super messy! Same as with make up, don’t be too perfectionistic

Cybergoth

Honestly, that style is so crazy, I feel like at that point, there’s no real „line“ between masc or femme, if there ever was one. Masc cybergoths go just as crazy with everything, so i think it doesn’t really matter what you do. Here are some tips anyway:

Cyberfalls can be worn by anyone! Masc Cybergoths usually wear one giant cyberfall on the top of their head. There’s also complete cybermall wigs! Just do as you feel comfortable!

Tripp Pants or extremely wide cargo pants are a go to masc cybergoth looks

If skirt, then very long skirt

Tank Tops

Armour inspired accessories

Dancing

I feel like masc cybergoths dance a bit more heavy handed. Not too much hip movement, focus on arms and shoulder more. Go heavy, get into it!

From whom did I get this?

Some fellas that have inspired me!

Real humans:

Peter Murphy (Bauhaus)

Daniel Ash (Bauhaus)

Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance)

Frank Iero (My Chemical Romance)

Peter Spilles (Project Pitchfork)

Johnny Slut (Specimen)

Bela B (Die Ärzte)

Julian Larre (Lacrimas Profundere)

Matt Bellamy (Muse) in the early 2000s

malloryheart on tiktok

Movie and Series Characters (also Games)

Crowley (Good Omens, played by David Tennant)

Peter Vincent (Fright Night, played by David Tennant)

Lucian (Underworld, played by Michael Sheen)

Klaus Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy, played by Robert Sheehan)

Gerald of Rivia (The Witcher played by Henry Cavill)

Astarion (Baldurs Gate)

If you wanna see the scene yourself (if you haven’t already) go to goth festivals and clubs! Even medieval markets work. I am from Germany, the scene is quite big here!

Also, you don’t need to stick to these looks everyday! Sometimes I go out, hyperfeminine and all! It does feel more like a drag look for me, but I like how it looks so I wear it anyway. I feel the most authentic when I follow the tips I stated above.

Thank you for you attention! Feel free to add your tips if you have some!

Please remember, do what you love! In the end, you need to be comfortable! Don’t put yourself into any stereotypes or uncomfortable roles. Be creative, be yourself! Try new things, don’t force anything! You’re valid, no matter what <3

[ammodup]

trans Andre hcs 🙏🙏🙏 (freaky + non freaky)

YESSS I WAS WAITING FOR THIS ASK 😼

Im not trans myself, but I hope these could feel somewhat realistic :3

Trans Andre Kriegman

SFW

Andre is attached to the concept of masculine presentation. He desires having a bulkier frame and a flatter chest, but a lot of the time he feels discouraged. He sulks in his room while flipping through fitness & health magazines, with the big gym-going models standing all burly and confident within the pages. Sometimes, Andre wishes he could look like that. He doesn’t want to look like a body builder, of course— he just wants to have a good deal of muscle on his body. That’s kind of why he joined the track team, after all.

In addition, he feels like he was born in the wrong body, and sometimes he wears baggy clothing to hide any physical features he feels insecure toward— like his curves, even though curves are natural in all human bodies. He feels jealous of people who were born male. He envies those who don’t have breasts or a vagina. He envies those who have a deep voice. Andre has been trying to train his voice, though, to deepen it to his liking. He’s made some progress, but he has to keep it to a minimum with society being iffy toward folks who feel similarly to Andre.

Andre felt like himself the first time he cut his hair short. His haircut was really choppy and janky though, considering Andre is not a stylist, so his mom had to bring him to the hairdresser to correct his haircut. The way he got it fixed up is the way he has it now.

Andre and his dad don’t have the best relationship toward the matter. Andre is closest to his mom, as she accepted Andre for his gender identity. While she accidentally slips up here and there, she puts forth the conscious effort to refer to Andre as a male. Even if Mrs. Kriegman doesn’t seem she cares, she does. Andre is a momma’s boy no doubt. But Mr. Kriegman is a whole different story. The way he grew up, with his generation and all— he doesn’t really see Andre’s feelings toward his gender as being valid, per se. He doesn’t see his feelings as being valid because he thinks that Andre is just in a “phase”… even though that “phase” has lasted ever since he was a child. Also, when Andre was younger, he tried to talk to his older brother about it. However, his brother didn’t react the way Andre wanted him to— instead, he reacted with contempt and judgement.

While Cal did make some unintentionally transphobic remarks when Andre first discussed his gender identity with him, he made an effort to understand. After all, Cal doesn’t really care about Andre’s “fleshly” characteristics as much as he does about his psyche. He’s still the same Andre Kriegman he’s known from middle school. Still, Andre felt quite hurt inside from Cal’s initial assumptions and generalization.

NSFW

Sometimes, Cal calls Andre’s clit and nipples “buttons” to help him feel better about his body, especially when he’s in a lower, more insecure and agitated mood. But he also wants to understand where Andre’s bodily hatred stems from, since they’re comrades. Cal doesn’t really see the problem that Andre has with his body; he essentially just sees Andre as a dude with different parts. Calvin’s teenage boy hormones partly prompted him to grow extremely infatuated with his body, especially after the first time they saw each other naked. So he absolutely gets a little too rough with Andre during their intimacy, even when he’s trying to go slower or gentler. Because he practically salivates at the sight of Andre’s chest, and he tries to grab a handful of them when they’re getting heated.

The first time they had sex, Cal helped Andre take his clothes off, assuring he won’t judge. Cal silently judges other people, but rarely judges Andre. If he is, he’s saying it to his face. Moreover, Cal was like one of those guys who “can’t find the clit”. He couldn’t find Andre’s clit or figure out how to make him feel good— but he was trying. Andre had to help him, had to guide his hand down to his cunt so he could find his sweet spots. When Calvin’s fingers slithered further, it hurt a little and felt slightly uncomfortable for Andre with Cal’s clumsy, slender fingers probing inside him. Andre never really liked to touch himself all that much, never really liked to look at himself down “south”. However, Cal somewhat helped him out of that mindset.

Calvin enjoys mumbling to Andre about how cute and handsome he is while his dick is lodged deep inside his pussy, while Andre is moaning and squirming and needy for more. Andre has always feared not being in control and that he wouldn’t be seen as “manly” if he was vulnerable, especially during intimate moments such as sex, but it feels different with Cal now. Calvin has no problem showing Andre how much he affects him, how attractive he really is, and it really does impact Andre’s self-esteem for the better.

When Andre is in control, he’s usually seen between Cal’s legs, sucking him off nice and sloppy. Cal’s hands are tangled in his hair, and he whimpers every time his cock goes too deep inside Andre’s mouth, practically to his throat, with Andre gagging around his shaft. Andre needed to learn how to suck dick too, though. So Cal kind of taught Andre how to do so, with Andre learning on his own from hesitantly licking Cal’s dick at first, which soon morphed into full on sucking and then taking him deeper into his mouth.

Like mentioned prior, Cal is very handsy. Andre still feels a little tense whenever Calvin grabs his breasts or hips. It’s not that he doesn’t want Cal to touch him— that’s not the case at all. It’s just… he wants himself to have more features that he feels comfortable with for Calvin to grab instead. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy Cal’s hands all over him though. After all, there’s pink dragonfruit and white dragonfruit. Even if they may have different characteristics about them, they’re still dragonfruit. :)

[moonblossom7]

Trans! Logan headcanons or something

a/n: as The gloom returns and all that can save me is my stinky caveman wife. Oh,and for reference,Logan isn't gonna be trans in everything I write with him. It's just a fun thought some of the time. Happy Pride ,also as well.

Contents: DIY top surgery,dysphoria,possible nonsense,mention of sex,but nothing is explicit. Bits of angst. Bisexual Logan also as well.

🥃he vaguely knew he was a guy since he was like 10, but he didn't do anything about it until his 20s-ish

🥃this man did not know the word transgender until like 2003.

🥃As far as social,he basically pretended to be a cis man until the late 80s. And those who knew he wasn't didn't say anything,because the fact he's a mutant seemed to be a much more pressing matter.

🥃 for the longest time,because of his healing factor, he had to basically give himself top surgery every few days. Eventually his body got the memo and stopped re-growing the breast tissue.

🥃he was one of them gay cowboys for a brief period of time. People didn't usually ask questions,and since there wasn't much society,there was of course no laws against cross-dressing

🥃 for a while after beginning his transition ,he found having sex with other guys to be immensely dysphoric,even though he only slept with guys who were queer.

🥃despite not being much of bookworm,he does like to research how other cultures viewed gender identity pre-colonization.

🥃he has very rarely ever needed validation. He knows he's a man,and anyone stupid enough to think otherwise can kick rocks. But when he started messing around with Jean,there were times he wondered if she kept choosing Scott because she didn't think Logan was a real man.

🥃he frequented the gay bars in the 70s. He's not got a huge sense of community,but it's a much safer place to get a drink. Not that he's worried about his safety,but he doesn't always feel like causing a scene.

🥃 he has no desire to get bottom surgery,and besides that,he isn't even sure if he can. He can't do it himself,he knows that for sure.

🥃used to want it tho

🥃 gets gender envy from Johnny Cash songs

🥃 In the present,he doesn't engage much with pride events. He's just not much for the bright colors and large groups,additionally,he doesn't like the commercialization.

🥃refuses to use floral scented anything. "That's girls stuff".

[rins-batcave]

let me get some shit straight

making your logo gay, for one month a year, is supporting fucking nothing.

and a trans student, you telling me im welcomed, and welcoming me, are two very fucking different things.

it doesn't matter if you understand something or not, it can still be real, it can still be true.

mental health struggles are different for everyone, someone isn't faking it just because they don't look ill enough.

being queer and neurodivergent is not a new fuckign thing. no one 'caught autism'. it's not the frogs making us gay. we have always been around, we will always be around.

not everyone wants to come out, not everyone will come out, you don't have to be out to be valid.

people an present how ever they wish, you can dress however you fucking want. you can be a trans guy and want to wear makeup. presentation is not gender and you have the right to look like whatever you want.

no one is making kids gay by educating them.

[masochist-marmot]

I hate the Naoto gender discourse

TW: transphobia, gender dysphoria, Naoto Shirogane

First of all, I think it's entirely valid to read whatever you want into fictional characters. Art is meant to be interpreted and to evoke something in the audience, and while it's useful to consider the author's intent, it's just as valid to interpret the text on its own.

In Persona 4, the intended reading is this: Naoto is and has always been a girl who wishes to be taken seriously in her male-dominated field. She confuses these feelings for identifying as a boy, and it's up to our party to set her back on the straight path and accept her role as young woman. Rise is incredibly eager to chastise this "young lady" immediately after learning about the reality, and throughout the game we are helping her to be more comfortable with being a girl. This is quite straightforwardly what the text is saying.

How many fans (me included) see the text is this: Naoto displays signs of gender dysphoria and struggles with their gender identity. Even after you have talked them out of a literal gender-affirming surgery (performed by a mad scientist, because why not make it extra scary to boot), they continue to present as a boy. During the rest of the game as well as Naoto's social link, you and your party can continue to push femininity on them. They're forced into a swimsuit contest, where they refuse to show up on the stage, and Yosuke says he knew it would happen. If you want to date Naoto, you have to pick the options where you tell them you like them as a girl, even though you get more social link points if you say their gender doesn't matter. This implies that Naoto is more comfortable with the way they present now, but feels that they have to present more feminine if they want to date you (which sounds like heteronormative bullshit to me). It's probably not difficult to see why this would make some players uncomfortable.

Now to the point of this post: There's a big (or just vocal?) portion of the fanbase that will call you media illiterate or delusional if you bring up your discomfort with how Naoto's gender was handled. And I can't stand it. As I demonstrated above, I know what the text is saying and have a problem with it. Media literacy isn't just about recognising what is being said, but also why it's being said. And Naoto's character arc displays well intentioned ignorance and heteronormative values at best, and malicious TERF-like ideology at worst. I'm inclined to believe it's the former, as the game and the series more widely don't seem to have a malicious intent behind them, although they certainly have other uncomfortable parts (I could make a very similar post about Kanji).

So why do so many people have an issue with the trans Naoto reading? Well, in games like these, players tend to form strong emotional connections to the characters. I'm guessing that for a lot of people it's important that their waifu is, well, a waifu. (I'm personally too pan to understand this and will advocate using "waifu" as a gender neutral word.) I'm sure some of it is annoyance with the notion of the interpretation contradicting with canon, which is apparently law. People feel like you're projecting something onto the text and not getting the intended meaning. Which feels like a weird point, since everyone is projecting some of their own feelings onto any text. And then there's your good old transphobia that manifests as a myriad of rationalisations (including the one about canon being law). I usually try to understand where people are coming from, but some people can't be reasoned with.

I don't have a conclusion, I just had to get this out.

TLDR; Stop bullying people who choose to view a character through a different lens than you do, and please practice your empathy and critical thinking skills.

[olderthannetfic]

Writing about my favorite characters as transgender has opened my eyes to how many people in fandom are able to get away with actual transphobia without other people judging them for it, and after one particularly bad experience I feel like I can't participate in fandom without constantly having to check people's profiles and social media to see whether or not they might secretly hate trans people. The fandom I currently write for is relatively small compared to others, but somehow I still manage to catch a lot of casual transphobia, especially on my higher-kudos'd works. This didn't really bother me at first since most of the comments were misinformed but rather harmless otherwise, with most asking me to write a fic where the MC medically transitions to become their "real gender" as a sequel. Those comments were written politely, but the sentiment that a person's body designates their gender bothered me a lot. I specifically present the trans characters in my fics as pre-op or non-op without dysphoria in order to feel more comfortable about my own body, and I'm really tired of reiterating the reasons why I personally won’t create a fic where the MC undergoes a full medical transition. I would be thrilled if someone else wrote that, but it’s not a concept I have any interest in executing myself.

Usually the casual transmedicalism in my comments is my only real gripe about the attitudes towards transness in my fandom, but recently I joined a major fandom discord server and found out that they had a dedicated thread for bashing my work. (Well, to be more accurate they had a bunch of threads for bashing people's works, but mine had the most messages at the time.) I should have just left at that point, but I was curious to see if there was any valid criticism because honestly I don’t get a lot of constructive feedback on my newer stuff and I wanted to see if there was anywhere I could improve. Unfortunately, it was almost entirely just really hurtful comments, with many people making assumptions about my body and offline identity, calling me a fake trans person and a chaser for the things I've written. They kept going on about how I'm fetishizing transness, how I probably just wanted an excuse to write het smut with an M/M tag on it, how I'm probably not actually a trans man but an obsessed and misguided teenage girl instead. I've been on T for over two years now, but even if I wasn’t, their belief that all bodies like mine are basically "female" was really upsetting. Maybe I just happened to stumble upon a bad crowd, but at that moment I just really felt alone. I never expected to receive that kind of vitriol in such a small fandom - I have maybe like five or so people who follow my work closely, so it's not like I'm hitting super big numbers compared to others. I understand that my work might be dysphoria-inducing for other people, but I include warnings for language at the beginning of all my fics and I'm extremely thorough about tagging all the sex acts that take place. It's easy to filter out my work via additional tags if you don’t want to see it. But no matter how many measures I take to make others feel more comfortable, they still feel like I'm taking up too much space and mucking up the tags with my fanfiction.

Part of me feels like quitting after this experience, but I'm also a spiteful bastard and I think it would haunt me forever if I stopped now lol. I'm curious to know if you or any of your followers has ever dealt with a similar situation (as in, finding out there's a bunch of people who hate your work for shitty reasons), and if you have advice on how to continue interacting with others in fandom without constantly wondering if they hate me behind closed doors. I left the server already but I'm sure there's other things I can do that I'm forgetting. Thanks for reading!!

--

There will always be people who dislike you for silly reasons, and if your fic is popular, there will be a lot of them. The only way to deal with it is to just accept that this is normal and not think about them.

[sparrow-va]

public introspection in this sort of manner, on this sort of topic is, I get the feeling, not really a part of the persona du jour of the modern Tumblr Transfem, but like. fuck it, yknow? I feel like I've already been alienating myself from certain sectors of the community as is so. let's do it.

my thoughts and feelings on the Discourse over the last. idk, year or so? about things like Egg Jokes™️, the Prime Directive and all that have been. fuzzy Feelings and general agreements with sentiments I've seen moreso than a like...Solidly Held and Arguable Position i guess?

generally speaking, I think my belief is that the Egg Prime Directive is bullshit and that I think we as transfems and allies SHOULD be allowed to provide gender transition as A Valid and Positive Option On The Table for people visibly experiencing the recognizable thought patterns, behaviors, and distresses typical to closeted transfems. If it's done in a good-faith and amicable way, I honestly don't see how this is possibly A Bad Thing. Given the options between potentially leaving someone locked in a gender closet believing that they are alone in their struggles and feeling like they have no options but to just...struggle forever, or to potentially give someone the helping hand, the acknowledgement that they have the means and the community out there to reckon with what they're experiencing? I should think the choice is obvious.

i think part of why I hold this belief so tight lately is that like...I didn't have my Gender Moment™️ until the lockdowns hit (yes i'm a quarantrans ha ha let's move on), meaning I was......like 27 or 28 I think?? by the time I rapidly moved down the pipeline of "Cis Guy By Default" to "Femboy??¿¿?" to "Nonbinary transfem". Took me another few years to finally settle on that, yeah, HRT is the right move for me. And it's only within i think. The last few months???? that I've felt like "yeah, okay I think I'm Allowed to say I'm a trans woman. I think that Feels Right."

I've moved down this road so, so fucking agonizingly slowly, I think in large part due to growing up in a household for the majority of my life that stifled any possibility of CONSIDERING I could be anything else but a straight guy (especially my mother who threw a Fit when I posted on facebook for pride month about being bi "heteroflexible" back in 2017. I'll just. Let you guess her reaction to being presented with anything re: trans people. I'll give you another hint: Jerry Springer was a regular fixture on our tv in my youth.). it took me Years of distance and healing after moving out of that household to even begin to entertain the notion that I had like. A Choice In The Matter that could make a positive difference. One of my online friends, around the time of me coming out, said that he'd been getting Egg Vibes from me for like at least a year beforehand. and it was pretty funny at the time, and still is tbh but like. now, when I feel like I'm getting into the game so late, so to speak....it's also a little irritating to think about, like. What! What do you mean!! You knew?? Who else knew and didn't tell me????? Fuck!!!!!!! I just. idk. i want to minimize the chances of other gals having late bloom regrets like i sometimes struggle with.

at the same time. there are a couple of recent-ish coming-out trans girl tumblr funnypeople (one much more recent than the other -- if you're Up To Date on this topic you probably have an idea who I mean, but I don't like to Name Names in these kinds of posts, yknow?) who have given Strong Pushback, let's say, on the idea of Egg Jokes and speculating on someone's potential transfem identity. they've said things to the effect of like...that this kind of thing actually made them feel Less Safe to come out and did more harm than good for them. i. Struggle to comprehend that, I guess. Granted, I am not privy to exactly all of what kinds of sentiments they were subjected to -- one if them I don't think I ever followed, and the other I think I unfollowed a while back when she WAS giving pushback on this kind of stuff. I don't...get it, I guess? But I also don't want to just. Completely disregard and downplay their experiences either, even if I don't really See what they've seen? i dunno.

i also have noticed that as I've started to pull myself away from some of the more.....let's say caustic personalities in my transfem corner of this website, I feel like i've been concurrently seeing less sentiments arguing so ardently to Disregard the Prime Directive and all that? i dunno. There may not be any correlation there, that could entirely be some sort of confirmation or other type of bias from me.

i don't. really have a central Point that I'm driving toward with all this, I'm kinda just. Ruminating, I guess. Taking stock of where I'm at mentally as I navigate the current landscape of my weird-ass Internet Home of one-and-a-half decades. just. disjointed thoughts bumping around in my brain that I needed to pull the release valve on.

i dunno if anybody will get anything out of reading this but. i appreciate you taking the time to bother doing so if ya have. 💙 you're lovely and I hope you have a joyful day ahead of you.

[transfemme-shelterdog]

hey! as a transfem person in a relationship with a trans man, thanks for being chill with the idea that. yk. trans men also have it hard!

im worried for my boyfriend being able to stay on his hormones, and he's worried about me needing to boymode in public. it's really frustrating that so many people online think that im the only person in this situation with valid concerns? im transfeminine but that doesn't mean im the only kind of person who's ever been oppressed in the history of the world!

my boyfriend is a wonderful man and he's been nothing but kind to me during my transition, and i think he and other trans men deserve to have space to talk about their problems, because he literally deals with problems offline and then goes online to see people saying he has Zero Problems. it's plain shitty to say that.

Hell yeah, another st4t couple. Glad to hear you two have each other, and glad to hear he has a good partner who acknowledges his struggles <3

Yeah, it's tough to be trans, no matter how you present. Trans guys definitely have it hard, and I wish more people would realize that. I don't think most transfems realize just what trans guys have to deal with, but they could easily find out if they ever talked to someone who is transmasc.

They definitely do deserve a space to be heard, and listened to, I completely agree. That's why I'm always platforming transmasc voices on my blog all the time.