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krshush · 3 months ago

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Alright, okay, SO. I promised you fic rec hours ago in the replies, so here they are now >:3c I could almost certainly find more ngl, but this is just from a cursory look through my faves+recent reads 👍

from METAPHOR R:

call it a mercy of the heart by tamashiinorei • 9.7k, Will/Strohl, "Developing Relationship", mild spoilers as it walks through the beginning of the game • "Four times Will surprises Leon Strohl, and one time Strohl surprises Will back." as the fic description says. There's something with this author's writing in particular where I always find another facet in the words I hadn't before.

To Make a Sacrifice by xpiester333x • 2.7k, Strohl/Will, "Drunken Shenanigans", mid-game but mild spoilers •During the celebration on Virga Island, Strohl and Will talk of sacrifice of all things.

I hope this finds you well by specterthief • 1.8k, gen, Will & More, includes end-game but mild spoilers • More mentions a tradition of messages in bottles floating out to sea, and Will decides to try it out. Where the bottle ends up, after such an amount of time is… well.

from PERSONA 5:

Love, Theft, and Other Criminal Acts by Ariaofthewinds • 85k, Akira/Akechi (feat. ensemble), Actual Adult Phantom Thieves AU • I LOVE THIS FIC! SO MUCH!!!! IT'S WHAT FINALLY MADE ME GO "ok fine, as a P5 girlie (gn) I GOTTA get into Lupin media" IT'S LONG BUT IT SLAPS. I LOVE when anyone does Actual Thieves AU for P5, and this one is SUCH a good read for a great Heist story!!!

where the day meets the night (that's where you'll find me) by thirtysixsavefiles • 10k, Akira/Akechi, FAE COURT AU!!!, moderate spoilers technically but it's fine • it's a fae court AU featuring a murder mystery and politicking, there are NO OTHER MORE "pspspsps c'mere K.R." FIC I COULD REC OUTTA THIS FANDOM. I also think it transfers well enough to non-P5 enjoyers.

Annotation Added by TroubleWriting • 6.8k (unfinished), Akira/Akechi, Adult Spies AU, moderate spoilers technically • This is unfinished with only 2 chapters, but a really good one of these, I'm a big fan of Spy AUs and I enjoy the way this one handles the handler-to-agent trade-off of perspective.

I was trying to limit myself to max. 3 fic per fandom, but. Bonus:

a traitor's guide to freedom (get out, get even) by HoneyCorvid • 25k*, Akira/Akechi (kind of background), New Game+ AU • NG+ AU where Akira and Akechi remember all that's about to happen, and work against fate. However, that's in the background of this specific fic, which features Haru as she befriends them both while navigating the tense politics her father's entered into.

I don't know how this fic lands for anyone w/out prior P5 knowledge thus why I couldn't Absolutely recommend it in top three, but I must recommend the first chapter*(~6k) for its writing alone. I've yet to stop thinking about the sentence, "he’s all sugar, saccharine sweetness dripping over the venom in his words just enough to make it hazy and deniable."

from FE: THREE HOUSES:

Slow to Mend from... an orphaned account 😔 • 1.8k, hurt/comfort, Byleth/Dimitri, Timeskip+Blue Lions route spoilers • A short thing involving wound-tending and hair washing that I think about very often!

careful fear, dead devotion by akhikosanada • 22k, Felix/Sylvain (feat. most all the ensemble), Reincarnation AU • 2 disclaimers: 1) I don't know how this fic reads when you don't know the game 2) It's been awhile since I even reread it. But consider: it's a non-linear reincarnation fic doing a lot of time shenanigans and I recall it changing my brain chemistry, so. Enjoy?

ONE OFF RECS

DA: Inquisition - A Measure of Distance by 3jarsofbees • 48k, Inquisitor Lavellan/Dorian, Post-game+Trespasser • The life and times of Lavellan after having just lost his arm, and being in a long-distance relationship as Dorian returns to Tevinter and all the dangerous politicking that begets.

This is long too, but I'd be remiss to not recommend it because this fic Gets It. In a fandom where everyone has their own OC that interacts differently with their beloveds and party members, this fic Gets It in almost the same way I write for my Inquisitor and Dorian. At the end of this fic I left my single longest comment on any fic because of this. It's a lot of banter and emotions and consequences and those are all So Important to me.

Genshin Impact - Cascading (In a good way) by Hubbleablubble • 14k, Kaeya/Albedo, "strangers to friends (???) to lovers" • Listen. I know. I'm sorry. I know and I'm sorry about reccing a GenPact thing when I've long since left that fandom and can never in good conscience recommend anyone play that game, but I STILL think about Kaeya and Albedo and how they both are from Khaenri’ah and keep this and several other secrets from everyone else in Mondstadt. This fic plays in that space SO well and also does REALLY REALLY well in regards to Albedo's own forced distance and the way he's not human but he's living and just. AGH.

Code Geass - Kingdoms by muckraker • 21k, Suzaku/Lelouch, "The road trip from hell, in which the boys mostly lose their minds, and CC mostly doesn't.", severe late spoilers • I just. remembered this one. and it's another I'm recommending at the expense that I don't know how it tracks w/out all the story context. But it's also 👏 ICONIC 👏 in my mind on top of the irreparable damage CG has already done to my psyche.

"It was a messed up sort of trust, for someone to see you at your ugliest and your most pathetic. Another messed up sort of trust: we choose whom we hurt, and we hurt the things we love. That, Suzaku thought. What was that?" IS SUCH. A FUCKING LIIIINE.

Anyone got book recs, or fic recs? I'm feeling the itch to read and all my holds at the library are taking a million years

#Special mention to Marigolds by Colbub as another P5 fic I REALLY wanted to rec but it's also basically a NG+ from Akechi's POV and like.#it's 700k words. and dives deep into a bunch of other Persona universe stuff. I JUST can't hand it to someone so casually. love and light.#replying to replies #ish #countingthelions #K.R. shush

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troublepines · 7 years ago

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When Stan and Ford are kids, they snuggle. At first it was only when the other had nightmares, but it quickly becomes an every night thing. One of them will crawl into his brothers bed and cuddle up to him, and they’ll drift to sleep like that until morning.

It stays that way until they’re teenagers, and hormones make things awkward; nothing makes a situation awkward faster than waking up with your brothers morning wood against your ass.

And then Stan is gone, kicked out of the house and probably sleeping in a car, and Ford is left lying longingly in his bed, wishing more than anything that Stan could crawl in next to him.

Years pass, and then it’s Ford’s turn to vanish, sucked into his mistake of an invention with no way of getting home, leaving his brother more alone than he’d felt in years. It takes decades, but he gets him home.

He thinks maybe they hate each other. Or maybe Ford just hates him; he doesn’t think he’s capable of hating his brother anymore. He tried that for too long, and he’s long since accepted that he’s miserable without him.

It takes a while, but soon enough that’s fixed too, and they’re on the Stan O’War 2, setting off to sail around the world together like they’d always dreamed.

Their first night is uncomfortably quiet; it’s the first time they’ve slept in the same room in almost forty years, and they can both feel the empty space in their bunks like it’s a burning hot ember pressed to their skin.

“Stan..?” Ford is the one to break the silence, and Stan hates that he flinches in surprise.

“Yeah?” He answers. Ford hesitates, and Stan can practically hear the gears in his head turning. “Spit it out, Sixer.” He urges. The other man sighs, and his voice is quieter than before when he finally speaks again.

“Can I come down there..?”

Stan’s throat is suddenly dry, and he swallows thickly and nods his head, despite knowing Ford can’t see him.

“Yeah.”

He hears Ford’s sigh of relief, and then hears shuffling as his brother wiggles to the edge of the bed to climb down. Stan shuffles himself closer to the wall, and then the bed dips; he knows from instinct Ford is resting his knee on the edge of the bed.

“You’re sure it’s okay?” He murmurs, and Stan nods again in spite of himself.

“Please.”

Ford doesn’t hesitate again, nodding to himself as he shifts to lie down next to Stan, on his side so he can face him. There’s a moment of silence, before Ford manages a weak, awkward chuckle.

“These beds always seemed so much bigger back then.”

“Well, we were a lot smaller back then.” Stan replies easily, and Ford hums softy in agreement.

“True.”

Silence falls over them for a few minutes, and Stan bites his lip. Ford had come this far, it was only fair for him to meet his brother halfway. That in mind, he reaches his hands out and gently grasps Ford’s shirt. He then wiggles forward, enough that he can feel their knees pressed together.

“I know you didn’t come here to stare at my nose in the dark.” Stan teases, and Ford manages a more genuine chuckle at that.

“No, I suppose not.” He admits, slipping his arms easily around his brother and tugging him into his chest. Stan gives a surprised yelp, and Ford snorts a laugh.

“Jesus Ford, muscle enough?”

“Finally, the tables have turned.” The genius whispers into his brothers ear, and Stan can’t help the shiver that ripples down his spine.

His hands tighten in Ford’s shirt, and he takes the last step and pushes his face gently into Ford’s throat.

“You smell like home.” He mumbles, and Ford’s heart twists.

“I am home. I’m home. I’m not going anywhere, ever again.”

Stan sighs contentedly at that and nods his head, nestling closer so he can properly wrap his arms around Ford.

“Good.” He whispers.

#stancest #troublewrites #trouble writes

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reinathevocaloid · 5 years ago

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My Akeshu/Shuake Fic Rec

After reading a good amount of Akeshu/Shuake fanfics, I’ve finally decided to compile a list of all my favorites. This list will be updated over time with any new ones that I read as well.

L’appel du vide by Xov

It’s not a Akeshu/Shuake Fic Rec without one of the most popular fics in the fandom. This is a New Game + fic that takes place after P5 vanilla, and it follows a 19-year-old Akira who has been thrown three years into the past. It’s still ongoing and the updates tend to take a while, but it is always worth it. I legit reread this fic all the time and I always notice new things I missed.

False Start by Xov

I love all of Xov’s fics so all of their works will definitely be in this list. This is technically another New Game + but Goro makes some bad choices instead of learning from his mistakes.

A Study in Distress by Xov

A no-powers AU where Akira and Goro went to the same school and they get to be love-struck idiot teens that solve cases without having to save the world.

death of choice by Xov

Although the second half of the fic is still being written, the first half is already good enough to be its own fic. During the preparations for Akira’s parents’ funerals, Akira accidentally meets Goro years later. While the reunion doesn’t go terribly, it doesn’t go well either.

Reverb by Xov

A short fic that Xov wrote for the akeshu Showtime zine (which I actually got a physical copy of, despite all the drama surrounding it lololol).

Hungry Thirsty Roots by coolkidroland

Ayyyyyo it’s the first fic I read in this fandom! Goro has a palace and Akira decides to steal his heart (and Goro’s shadow kinda helps out).

right now, forever by kittyakeshu

Another early fic for me in the fandom! Goro gives Akira a pair of cat ears! Honestly, I love how this fic has the perfect mixture of smut and fluff with a hint of darker undertones. Plus, Goro’s characterization in this fic makes me a bit nostalgic for vanilla Persona 5!

resistance. by lithalos

Okay warning this fic is not for the faint of heart, but it’s so good! This is a Fantasy AU where Goro is a knight, Akira is a witch, and Shido is an awful king. The thing I like the most about this fic is that it points out the fact that Akira meeting Goro earlier may not change the mindset Goro has.

and i felt the fever coming. [oh the wreckage follows] by vntagecassette

Sick Fic! Sick Fic! Sick Fic!!!! It’s not a proper fic rec without a good sick fic, and vntagecassette is an amazing writer. Also, in this fic, Akira is selectively mute and uses Shuwa (Japanese sign language)!!!

tomorrow (B-SIDE) by relationshipcrimes

Although there is an A-Side to this fic, I choose to ignore it because my heart can’t take the pain. B-Side has a hopeful ending though! Akira daydreams constantly about what he will do when he meets Goro again during the long days that he waits for him.

the first step to find your way is to mark where you have been by futuresoon

Another Goro has a Palace fic!!! I love how detailed the palace is in this fic and how Akira and Goro work through it together.

The Royal Scramble by D_Maradine

This fic has only just started but I’m loving it already!!! The events of P5S are reimagined so that they occur after P5R and Goro joins the gang.

goro akechi and the quest to apprehend the illustrious mossy mothman by ethyxx

A fluffy and funny fic about Goro trying his hardest to get a rare gatcha toy for Akira 💕

Don't bite off more than you can chew, little wolf by Ren_Saxon

Shapeshifter werewolf!Akira meets Vampire!Akechi at College and tries to woo him over.

Heart for sale (try free or buy it now) by Tayani

After thief!Akira steals from CEO!Akechi, Akechi becomes smitten with him and decides to become his sugar daddy.

Breathing exercises by TroubleWriting

In a universe where some people are born Doms or Subs, Akira is a Sub who doesn’t trust anyone enough to help him through his instincts, but luckily Akechi decides to help him. (despite the premise, this fic is more emotional than sexual)

This December by YassHomo

Akira meets Black Mask early on in the story and slowly befriends him which changes things (this one hasn’t been updated in a while but I still love it)

Kiss me, crown me, put me into words by Ren_Saxon

Akira is a gossip novelist who meets Prince Goro Akechi at a royal ball! This chance meeting completely changes the course of Akira’s life.

Drowning in the Deck by MercysEmbrace

Goro helps Akira deal with some current life issues. Basically, I’m a sucker for any fics where Goro helps Akira with anxiety issues and points out how Akira can be a people-pleaser.

Blooming through Orchids by Zeliez

Omega!Akira (who pretends to be a Beta) is forced to room with Alpha!Akechi (who also pretends to be a Beta) during the Hawaii trip. I’m really picky with A/B/O fics, but I love some of the more unique takes on the AU that are used in this one-shot!

Hold me down by TroubleWriting

I always love a good Mafia!AU, and this ongoing fic absolutely fits the bill! Crimelord!Akechi becomes obsessed with Information Broker/Thief!Akira.

Winner Take All by HoneyCorvid

Basically, Akira and Goro have sex during the metaverse duel and it changes everything! Honestly, besides the great smut scenes, I just really adore how this author writes their interactions! I found myself laughing multiple times throughout the story lol

Tied to you, tied by you by saikowrites

Goro discovers that Akira is into bondage when they try climbing together and uses this knowledge to his advantage lololol

everything or nothing at all by malevolentmanga

Akira and Goro swap personas and things get a bit heated! Tho as always I think the best part about this three part series is the dialogue and characterizations.

flora, electricity, and other forms of magic by SoulFishie

Powerful witch Akira and his familiar Morgana are forced to move to Shibuya in order to try to deal with a mysterious and dangerous stalker that’s following them. Luckily, Akira is assigned a bodyguard during his first year in the city: a (supposedly) werewolf named Goro Akechi. I love everything about this AU and how Akira is characterized!!!

The Real Magic is You by CelestialTrickster

Knight Akira regularly travels to the evil sorcerer Akechi’s tower to “rescue” Princess Hifumi, which really means that he visits his secret boyfriend. However, things become difficult when Akira’s father tries to force Akira to marry Hifumi. I absolutely loved this and would love to see more in this universe!

Less Than Righteous/ More Than Friends by HoneyCorvid

During Sae’s palace, Akira has sex with Loki, reveals some truths, and possibly changes the course of history forever. Once again I love how this author writes the dialogue between Akira and Goro (and his persona lol).

Playing Hero (third time’s the charm) by HoneyCorvid

An ongoing NG+ series where Akira and Goro remember the original timeline and work together to make their own happy ending. The parts in this series are short glimpses into moments within this plot (also the first part legit made me tear up at 4am lol)

Twice as Old and Four Times as Weary by rosegardenlake

A short and sweet one-shot about Akira learning to lean on Goro and the rest of the Phantom Thieves, especially as they all get older and their tiredness catches up to them.

mountains (molehills) by Ciasquare

Goro and Akira have started rock climbing together, and the rest of the phantom thieves misunderstand the hobby as something else entirely. One of my favorite aspects about this fic is that Akira is selectively mute and uses sign language, and the author uses their own experience with sign language to write most of the scenes! I feel like I learned a lot about sign language that I had never known before!

Where we go from here by EnlacingLines

Taking place in an alternate universe (no powers) where Akechi goes to Shujin as well, Akira is worrying about the upcoming high school graduation and what that means for the future. Basically, Akira re-learns just how much his boyfriend, friends, and found family love him.

glucose guardian by corrupted_voracity

If I had a penny for every fic where Akechi tries to become Akiren’s sugar daddy, I’d have two pennies, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it has happened twice. But for real, I absolutely adore this fic! Basically, Ryuji makes a joke that broke college student Ren should get a sugar daddy and Ren actually makes an account on a Sugar Daddy app, which leads him to meeting COO Akechi. Despite the premise, this fic is actually really sweet and focuses on Goro and Ren navigating their new relationship together.

Taste Test by EnlacingLines

Hilarious shenanigans occur after Akira accidentally buys strawberry flavored lube. This fic is both super funny and sweet!! I love how this writer portrays their dynamic so much!!!

Let Me (care for you) by CrinklePuff

Another sick fic!!!! Ren gets sick so Goro stays home from work to take care of him for a few days. This fic is filled with so much domestic fluff that you will get toothaches from the sweetness lol

Nevermore to leave here by EnlacingLines

During a severe storm, Akira is forced to take shelter at a strange mansion that is rumored to be haunted. Turns out that the rumors are somewhat true because the house is occupied by a very attractive demon known as Goro Akechi. Honestly, I just love demon!aus ngl!!!

AceSpec!Akira Bullies DomTop!Akechi: The Saga by EveryMountainClimbed (DemiPalladium)

An ongoing no powers Shujin!Goro alternate universe series where Goro and Akira have been best friends for several years and they decide to start dating. This lighthearted series mostly follows their developing relationship, and it’s incredibly funny. Also, as someone on the ace spectrum, I especially relate to Akira!

Daredevil, You've Hit the Wall by ez_cookie

Another rewrite of P5 Strikers with Goro and Sumire present!!! I absolutely adore how everyone is written here, and I love all fics that point out Akira’s unhealthy focus on trying to be the rock for everyone to lean on.

the joy of the hunt by TroubleWriting

Akira is forced to participate in a local hunt, but it leads to him reuniting with Akechi. I love ABO fics that play around with the details of the universe and I also love fics that have some predator/prey tropes, so this fic definitely hit multiple of my buttons!

Most Wanted by Prince_Tenjou

Two years after the events of P5R, Akira accidentally stumbles across Akechi, and so he makes sure to not let go this time. Basically, a short and sweet story about the two of them reuniting and confessing their feelings.

stand and deliver your diamond ring by lady_peony

A beautifully written fic with a fem!Akira! Like the author, I also lament over the fact that Atlus scrapped the FeMC concept for P5 every day...

caliology by lady_peony

A short and sweet one-shot where Akira and Akechi are in an established relationship years after the events of the game and they discuss mistletoe (but of course it’s about more than just mistletoe).

wishes wisely expounded by lady_peony

A fairytale-esque story where Akechi and Akira are childhood friends!

roll for initiative by HoneyCorvid and malevolentmango

Goro and Akira finally reveal their feelings for each other while running a DnD campaign with the rest of the thieves!

Between the Shadow and the Soul by Pigeonfeatherquill

An ongoing AU where 24-year-old Akira, who is a long-time member of the BDSM/Kink scene, meets a mysterious dom who may or may not be connected to the “prince” who saved Akira from a dangerous scene a year ago. Besides loving the characterization in this fic so far, I also love how it also gives an in-depth look into the kink community (and includes Ann as almost a main character, since she is an underrated fav imo)

you’re a terrible idea series by HoneyCorvid

So, normally I’m not a big fan of the yandere trope (typically the yandere character doesn’t actually care about the person they are obsessed with), but I really like how this particular series handles it. Akechi and Akira have an established relationship after meeting each other in the metaverse in April. Despite everything, they are actually quite good for each other.

better look both ways (before you cross my mind) by mipy

A pretty silly au where Akira and Goro are coworkers at Haru’s company. Along with tripping over his feelings for Goro, Akira also discovers some (embarrassing) new things about himself after stumbling across a pottery channel online. I loved the dialogue between the characters in this, and the writing actually made me laugh multiple times.

Maid for Hire by Your_Neighborhood_Cat

To obtain the money necessary to support himself and the rest of the Phantom Thieves, Akira begins working at a Maid Cafe while disguised as a girl. Shujin!Goro discovers this secret, and things change from there. This story is currently ongoing but I’m loving it so far!!!

The Adventure of the Dying Detective by sketchy4kechi

An ongoing fic from one of my favorite artists in the fandom! Five years after the events of P5R, Akira has a chance encounter with Goro after unknowingly hiring him as a P.I.

I will continue to add more as I gain more favs!!!

#shuake #shut up anya #fanfic #akeshu

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honeysweetcorvidae · 2 years ago

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i have. changed the title. due to oh my GOD troublewriting also used the EXACT SAME LYRIC yesterday. but hi did you see this! vampire porn sir spare a tuppence for some vampire porn

a second halloween fic has hit the twin towers

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fabray · 8 years ago

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troublewrites replied to your post: Can you stop reblogging Bi things if you're a...

as a bi girl i appreciate the solidarity b/c far too often i’ve experienced biphobia from lesbians lol

i am here for u !!! love bi girls !!! love pan girls !! love straight girls !! love gay girls !!!!! we r all great

#troublewrites

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glitradora · 8 years ago

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Tagged by @blancheduboiswrites a 1000 years ago but I keep forgetting to do it.

Rules: Answer the questions + tag people you want to know better

Lipstick or chapstick: both. I don’t live without chapstick but red/black/purple lipstick is my fav.

Last song I listened to: currently listening to excuse me - aoa

Last movie I watched: I honestly can’t remember but probably Moana and it was great.

Top 4 shows: Avatar (both series taking on spot cause yeahhhh), 3%, Digimon Adventure (original and 02 are the only ones worth watching tbh), and Ouran HighSchool Host Club (also I always loved MythBusters ok had to mention that)

Top 3 characters: Korra. Magnus Bane. Kari Kamiya.

Top 3 ships: canon: Korrasami. Malec. Takari. noncanon: Clizzy. Zutara. Takari. (can you tell I’m bitter about Takari?)

I tag @olliemeep1x1; @troublewrites; @666rps; @blackademiics; @jaggerofrp; @pepperwriting; @breeerps; @xiaolong1x1; (ps: feel free to ignore this or tell me if you’d prefer me not tagging you in these things anymore.)

#about

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troublepines · 7 years ago

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“Stanley?” Ford asks suddenly, totally out of the blue, and his brother turns his head to glance at the genius over his shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“How long did it take you to get to me when you got my postcard?” He asks, and Stan’s stomach lurches unpleasantly.

“Uh. Little under 20 hours, why?” He responds hesitantly.

“Didn’t you ever wonder how I knew where you were? What I wanted? You just jumped in your car and came here after what I did-“

“Of course I wondered.” He interrupts gruffly, pointedly keeping his back to Ford. “I still wonder. As for what you wanted, I thought maybe you were in trouble, or you-“ He breaks off, coughing uncomfortably and shaking his head. “Don’t matter what I thought. You were in trouble, and ya hated me so I knew you musta been in deep if you were calling me of all people.”

Silence rings uncomfortably through the shack, broken only after what feels like ten minutes by Ford’s pained whisper.

“You thought I hated you?”

At that, Stan spins around so he can shoot his brother a scathing look.

“‘Course ya did, sixer. I lost you your chance at yer nerd school. You don’t have to lie to me. I saw your face when I called for a high-six and ya closed the curtains on me. It was crystal clear.” He averts his gaze again, tears pricking uncomfortably at his eyes, stomach twisting unpleasantly in his gut.

“Stan-“

“It’s fine.” He interrupts, exhaling gruffly and turning his back to his brother once again. “Doesn’t matter anymore.”

Ford stares at him in silence for a moment, hand outstretched to reach for Stan, but eventually it falls to hang limply at his side.

“Why did you come?” He whispers. “If you thought I hated you, then why..?”

“I thought you needed me.”

“I did.”

“I know.”

The silence returns, and neither wants to be the first to break it. Eventually Ford caves.

“I traced the pay-phones.”

“Huh?”

“When you’d call me at all hours of the night.. I would trace the numbers so I knew where you were.. knew if you were near anyplace dangerous.”

Stan snorts out a skeptical laugh.

“Good thing I never called you from prison then. Mighta given you a heart attack.”

Ford is quiet, unsure how to respond to that. He bites his lip, gaze firmly trained to Stanley’s back, and he sighs softly before he speaks again.

“I’m sorry, Stanley. If I’d tried to be more understanding back then, maybe things would be different-“

“I didn’t go there to break your invention, Ford. I know you probably won’t believe me, but I didn’t break it on purpose. I was complaining to myself and punched the desk. When I left it was still spinning.” He sighs, lifting a hand to push up his glasses and pinch the bridge of his nose. “I just..”

“.. Stanley?” He prompts.

“I didn’t want you to leave. I didn’t want to lose my brother- my best friend. You were gonna go off to some fancy shmancy school and I was going to be stuck home with dad, being a disappointment to everyone. I didn’t want to hold you back, but.. I didn’t want to lose you. And I know you wanted to lose me.”

Ford’s chest twists unpleasantly as he recalls that perhaps, way back in high school, there had been a time when he had resented Stan for copying his papers and work. Thinking back he has to be honest with himself, the thought of bringing Stan with him to university hadn’t even crossed his mind back then; all he wanted was to get away. Make their dad proud.

“Stan, I-“ He breaks off, tossing words around in his head, unsure what he even wants to say.

“That’s what I thought.” Stan mumbles, and Ford feels his heart splinter in his chest.

Stan shifts and takes a few quick steps toward the stairs, and Ford panics, desperately hoping to keep his brother from walking away right now, and blurts the first question that comes to his mind.

“What.... what did you hope I wanted?” He whispers weakly, and Stan stops and laughs, a soft and watery noise that feels more like a cry.

“That maybe you’d forgiven me, and you still wanted to sail around the world on the Stan O’ War.”

Ford’s mouth hangs open in surprise, and his eyes burn with the sting of tears building up.

“Stan-“

“It’s okay Ford, s’not important.”

He turns again to walk away, and this time Ford scrambles forward and grabs him.

“Come here, you stupid old man.”

Without giving Stan a chance to yank himself free, Ford turns him around and pulls him into a hug. Stan goes rigid in his arms, and Ford squeezes him as tight as he can without hurting him, pushing his face into the crook of his brothers neck.

He inhales deeply, and feels sick. Stan smells like home, and Ford’s throat tightens as he struggles to stay composed. Stan still isn’t moving, so Ford shakes him a little without releasing his hold, stifling a shaky sob into his neck, and that seems to shake Stan out of his trance.

His arms slip around Ford, loose and unsure first, but after a moment he tightens his grip and shoves his face into his brothers shoulder, and Ford’s stomach lurches unpleasantly when he hears a muffled sob from the other man.

“I never hated you, Stan. I was a dumb kid and held onto a grudge for too long-“ His words are shaky as he rushes to get them out, hoping Stan is listening. “- I never should’ve let you leave, I should’ve gotten in that stupid car with you-“ He breaks off into a sob, trembling in Stan’s arms as the emotions he’d been struggling to shove to the back of his mind and forget all resurface. “- I shouldn’t have let that come between us, we’re best friends- brothers- you should’ve meant more to me than some stupid project- I’m so sorry Stanley.” He squeezes tighter and another sob escapes. “You came when I needed you and all I did was rip your heart out and stomp on it.”

Stan can’t seem to find anything to say, so he weakly nods against Ford’s shoulder, and Ford feels the metaphorical knife in his chest dig deeper.

“And I hit you- god, you spent thirty years trying to save me and I repaid you by punching you in the face.”

At that, Stan manages a weak giggle.

“Yeah, you did.” He agrees.

Ford pulls back slightly, and Stan takes the hint, moving so their gazes can meet. Their eyes are bloodshot and watery, glasses foggy around the edges, and Stan cracks a small half-smile that makes Ford’s heart stutter in his chest.

“Any chance I can get a do over?” He asks, and Stan raises a skeptical eyebrow.

“What, so you can say ‘oh thank you Stanley for spending thirty years of your life learning theoretical physics to bring me home’?” He teases, and Ford shrugs.

“Something like that.”

Stan searches his gaze, tilting his head slightly to the side. After a moment of tense silence, he shrugs.

“Go for it.”

With that blessing Ford swoops forward and captures Stan’s lips in a gentle kiss. The other man goes rigid in shock, eyes flying wide open, and Ford desperately hopes he hasn’t misread the situation- hopes that Stan still feels the same after forty years.

To his immense relief, Stan kisses back. His grip on Ford tightens and he drags him impossibly closer, hands clutching at his shoulders as they kiss, soothing a desire that had been festering for four decades.

When they finally separate, Ford leans forward and gives Stan a quick peck on the lips before speaking.

“Thank you, Stanley.” He says gently, and Stan’s eyes open once more to meet Ford’s gaze, surprise clear in them. “Thank you for coming to me when I needed you, despite how we parted ways. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for spending thirty years teaching yourself theoretical physics and rebuilding the portal so you could bring me home. Thank you for being you.”

Stan’s mouth hangs open in shock, eyes wide, and it takes him a moment before he lurches forward to drag his brother back into a tight, bone crushing hug. Ford hugs back just as tight, and Stan hugs out a laugh.

“You’re welcome sixer. I’d do anything for you, you know that, right?”

“I do.” He replies earnestly. “I do. I love you, Stanley.” He squeezes him gently as he says it.

“Love you too, Sixer.”

#stancest #troublewrites #trouble writes

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