#trying harder

[notcrazyipromise]

[hamatodonatella]

Trying Harder

She couldn’t leave the glass lying around forever. Eventually, she had to suck it up and clean up the mess she’d made. She noted, pointedly, that the others had made themselves scarce when she ventured out of her room to find a broom -- warned by August, most likely. Lea was nowhere to be seen at all, which suited Donna just fine.

But that was before she’d bent down to get a shattered circuit board out from under the bed, and come away with a ragged, torn piece of paper instead. 

It had been years since she’d seen the drawing. She’d had to remake the armour twice in the interim, since her stupid brother just wouldn’t stop growing, but that incarnation had been, more or less, the one that stuck. Her hand trembled as she scanned over her notes, in the blocky, deliberate printing she’d adopted to compensate for the size of her fingers. Part of her wanted to crumple it up and burn it. But she knew she’d never be able to follow through with it. Instead, she tucked it inside a book of fairy tales that had escaped the carnage, and stormed out of her room instead.

Angie had been keeping watch, apparently. As Donna slammed her door behind her, Angie’s cracked door opened wide. “Dee!” she called. “Long time no see! You wanna--?”

“I’m going out,” Donna snapped.

Angie blinked at her in dismay. “But Donna, where--?”

“OUT!”

Angie fell back against the wall, hurt and anger warring on her face. “Okay, okay. Jeez, what crawled into her shell and died?”

Donna bit back the automatic retort as she left her sister behind. It was needlessly cruel, and entirely inappropriate. She kept going, past the parked vehicles, and dropped down into the track bed before taking off at a run. She needed to move. To feel the ground beneath her feet. To run until her brain finally stopped. So many thoughts crowding for ascendance, and all of them worthless. 

She’d find an excuse for her absence once she got topside. There had to be something up there she could bring back and cite as a reason for her foray. After all, when everybody in the house expected you to fix everything, all the time, you had to get your supplies from somewhere.

But what she really needed was something to fix the thing that was broken inside of her, and she didn’t think it was the kind of thing you could find during a forage at the dump.

[deplorabillis]

Worst Party Ever - Trying Harder 

[haiicl0udx-blog]

Done With Youu

[rex-iovi]

And I'll find a way to fix things. I don't understand what your text means.

[redfernfrog]

My Tumblr Thoughts

So, I started on Tumblr bc my daughters were on tumblr.  Then I found #education and I couldn't stop.  But here are some thoughts that have cropped up lately.

1. I have made some real friends on here, between living near some of you (Pablo & Mrs.) or being buddies with some of you (too many to name) or supporting and being supported by some of you (wincherella), or just feeling like I can relate to the new moms out there (wish I had tumblr 22 years ago as a new mom) (tomes, mrs. kaayy etc).

2. I don't feel like I contribute enough to the community.  I don't regularly post, although I guess I have things to say that may be interesting/helpful/thought provoking, I am really not that good with words or sure it would be any of those things.

3. I still don't know, and have never researched even, how to add a gif.  Where does one get them?  How does one make them?

4. I also follow hedgehogs bc my daughter has one and he is adorable.

5. I follow pugs because I have one and I love him to pieces.

6.  I teach second grade, and I also have hearing impaired students each year, and I am interested in ASL, and my current buddy has encouraged me to blog more about that.  I am going to attempt to do just that.

7. I have my first "rough" class in three years.  I was spoiled with 2 awesome classes (academically and behaviorally) so this year is a challenge and I am sure I could use ya'all support if I just put myself out there.

Thanks for reading if you have gotten this far, and I hope to put more of myself into tumblr bc I seriously don't see how it could result in anything but good things! <3

[kurt-vonnecat]

I have decided that I am going to be more diligent on finding credit for the art pieces that I reblog. 

[shibafro]

That's the ticket

[anxiousalienthefirst]

TEACH YOUR KIDS IT IS OKAY TO FAIL AND TO TRY HARDER LATER INSTEAD OF MAKING THEM FEEL LIKE SHIT

[in-christ-alone-forever]

[ocarinaoftimenerd]

Wherever I go I end up leaving shadows...

[ask-reaper-vel-koz]

// HOLY SH*T VEL'S VOICE! GET ME VEL, GET ME HARBINGER, GET ME SOVERIGN, GET ME GLaDOS! FOR SCIENCE AND BIOLOGICAL TESTING!

[honestlylie]

I Don't Care

How "smart" someone is or isn't,

But if they are trying to learn, 

That is enough to earn

An immense amount

of my respect.

The desire of one person,

or another,

To better themselves,

To fill their brain

With the unknown

Is the most profound 

And beautiful effort.

To fight to be

Better than you were,

No matter how many times

You fall short of that goal;

But to try in earnest -

That is where 

I love you most.

When you are not

The best or the brightest

In the room,

But when you are

The one who works

Harder than you ever have

To be better and brighter

Than you were the day before.

[alongwiththehorrors]

Trying Harder

Although this year has gone somewhat good, I have realized I need to try harder in everything. Realtionships, school, work, with money, and taking time out for me.

I need to be there for my family more. With friendships, I need to step out of my box and make new friends but I also need to focus on/fix the ones I already have.              

As for school, the first half of the semester went great. I have As in all my classes but I feel myself losing motivation. I love most of my classes and love learning but now that I have the power to skip classes, I do so. I need to stop that. I'm not to the point where I am skipping most of the week but I want to stop myself now so I won't reach that point.

I know I could do better at work. I need to focus on numbers and remembering. My memory was never good and I am really trying but I know I could do so much better.

This year has been hard with money and I need to have more self control. I mean I do save but there are some things I don't always need. I don't mean to blame her but I think I got this from my mom. My mom never really had a budget so she spent alot and I do the same. I need to watch my money, especially for my family's sake.

I have been getting sick a lot lately and I have been getting depressed more than usual. I would get depressed from time to time but becasue it's happening more frequently, I have felt I need a professional soon. I don't want to think about the things I think about. I want to be truly happy again and that's something that hasn't happened in a long time. I realized this when my sister made me laugh to the point I had trouble breathing and then she said "Yes! I made Rachel smile!" I used to smile all the time. I want to go back to that.

You dont have to read this. I did this more me, to admit to myself what I am doing wrong in my life. I know some of my friends have noticed the change in me these past couple of years and I want to apologize to them. You guys have stuck by me through so much and I want to be able to do the same for you. I am sorry I haven't been a very good friend but I promise to try harder because you guys mean alot to me. I dont want to lose you.

:)