#uhhhh idk which chapter to tag this as…

[hexedkakes]

Oops, mostly Tenna!!

Drew more K_K cuz I’ve missed my boys… 💔 And Spamton I guess…

Also— Tenna’s tall self made it so hard to figure out how tall other characters would be compared to him 😭😭

So excuse that sigekshekhsneb

Just some silly, shitty doodles! It’s been nice to draw random goofy bs again.

God Bless Deltarune (And Spamton)

[every-sanji]

[blueskiesandstarrynights]

ao3 author ask game !!

tagged by @starstruckodysseys !!

total number of ao3 works: 16

total ao3 word count: 71,918

fandoms i’ve written for: dimension 20, 911, jatp, hatchetfield, Beetlejuice, stranger things

top five fics by kudos:

like a drum my heart never stops beating for you

the journey from locker neighbors to best friends

I'll find you in the next timeline

forever in our debt

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known (By the Ghost Attached to You)

do i respond to comments?: not usually, which i feel bad about tbh, but. you know how it is. i do genuinely appreciate each and every one and i reread them constantly, if that means anything <3

what has the most angst ridden ending?: uhhhh probably forever in our debt, and even then idk if I'd count it bc it's also vaguely optimistic in a 'we'll get through this together' kinda thing. I love me some good angst but I hate leaving the characters in a bad place, so, uh, ig the real answer is my unfinished wips 😬😬

what has the happiest ending?: augh like I said earlier it's hard to say bc I like to end all my fics on some form of a happy ending. i suppose the journey from locker neighbors to best friends is the least angst ridden and leaves off on the happiest note, though I feel bad I've only been noting my fics that are in my top 5, I have other fics of mine I like lol

have i received hate?: not that i’m aware of!

do i write smut? if so, what kind?: nah I'm too ace for that sorry

do i write crossovers?: not yet, but I do have a leverage/librarians crossover that's been sitting in my wips for forever, and at some point I think it'd be very fun to write a quangle style fic

have i ever had a fic stolen?: not that i’m aware of!

have i ever had a fic translated?: nope

have i ever co-written a fic?: yea! my one Beetlejuice fic Lydia Gets Vehicularly Manslaughtered I wrote with @wizisbored. its only got the one chapter and I feel bad about it every day, but it's quite a fun and gory chapter 🫡🫡

a WIP i’ll never finish?: fuuuucckkk i really hate to say there are wips I wont finish, there's a reason I don't write many mulitchaps, AND a reason why I made The Legendary Undeaths of the Photosynthekids a one shot in a series, making it a self contained story while also leaving room to write more in that world. i feel really bad for saying this, but prob my jatp wips. i love them both dearly and would love to finish them one day but I haven't thought about jatp in a hot sec, and don't know if I see myself revisiting the series enough to want to finish a wip. i could change my mind one day, but alas, here we are.

writing strengths: uhhhh idk ive been complimented on my descriptions which is nice

writing weaknesses: a weird mash of dialogue and characterization. at the very least it's smth I worry about a lot bc its a deal breaker for me as a reader.

do i like foreign language dialogue?: i mean. as a concept yes? i don’t write it bc I speak a singular language, so.

first fandom i wrote for: first fandom ever was I think a very crappy avengers/pjo crossover I wrote in a notebook I still have lol. first fandom on ao3 was I believe hatchetfield and jatp since I dumped all my fics from tumblr onto a03 once I decided to actually get an account.

favorite fic i’ve written: ooo ok let's see I really like The Legendary Undeaths of the Photosynthekids, my undead (ish) bad kids au and I had a lot of fun with it, plus like I said I'm cooking more in this au. i also like my stobin fics, idk what was in the brain sauce when I wrote those, but smth definitely possessed me to write some good stuff lmao

tagging @brionysea @awigglycultist @thedragonemperess @lucy-frostblades and anyone else who wants to!!!

[azzysecondary]

Azzy’s media log#2

(as of now to give everyone a little insight into stuff I’ve been getting into/ consuming as of late~)

Still isn’t everything but more bigger over arching ones!! (Honorable mentions smaller stuff).

Please see the bottom of list for the stuff I plan on getting to soon!

Slight and vague spoilers for all media in tags(only reason I tagged this~)

( hello Charolette section has the biggest ones tho for episodes one and 2 (have not finished 2 yet tho)!!!)

Code Realize:

Victor……. Victor makes me so ill….. he and Cardia together make me so ill… note to self I need to draw them again- (I just got to chapter 12 of his route, and have completed Impey’s, Impey also makes me ill-) highly recommend so far!

bug fables:

chapter one finished!! I love silly bug game!!! LIEF IS AN ELDRITCH BEING YOU CANT CHaNGE MY MIND!!! (Lief is also my favorite so far~) highly recommend silly bug game so far! (I also have fanart I have yet to post too!!)

ENA: Dream BBQ

Just finished this one tonight OHhhHhh I’m SO hyped for chapter 2!!!! GUH this game is genuinely just amazing both visually and surrealism wise!!! Highly recommend both this and the webseries (for those who haven’t watched it) with my whole heart!

Hello Charolette:

Currently on episode 2! I AM ONTO YOU C AND BENNET >:((!!! But I very much am enjoying!!! Episode one is a fun time I really like Charolette!!! Plus the lore is very fascinating thus far (totally not me spending 2 hours analyzing the use of to be or not to be for one specific scene030-) highly recommend!! Also have fanart I just haven’t posted!

Zeno:

we uhhhh….. we know how that’s been going- watched the first ten minutes of daily life at like three am the other night, idk if I’ll get back on that soon- for my full thoughts please read my review on this blog.

Xenoblade 2: 

Uhhhh….. I’m kinda a honorary knower so I know most spoilers for this entire franchise teehee~ but it has still made me feel things despite this!!! I like Nia and Poppi a lot :> (technically have not played one, and this one is more like watching a play through). (Also have doodles for this one!!) Morag and Bridghid are definitely wives too btw trust me, I was in the board room when they were written/silly

Detective Beebo:

Teehee, Ive already posted stuff for Beebo already (and have some live blogs here) I love it so much!!! Genuinely amazing please play it if you haven’t it’s so charming and makes me violently ill ( only ending I haven’t seen is one still…… then after that I get to read train comic!!!) (oh yeah Angèl is my favorite…. *stares at Noel and him*…. Same picture/silly. Also Vivi is such a cutie and the absurd voice I did for Simon during friend play Throughs has genuinely put him in there as one of my Beebo faves!!!

Cryptid Crush

Really need to get back to this one…. Ive only played dead air and I ADORE atlas!!! Genuinely wondering where this one goes!!! (Also tested acrylic paint markers with fanart for this one!) also mad house gives me mad beetle juice vibes- love the TTRPG vibes of this one too!!! 

Honorable mentions

Lilly’s well, vivid stasis, kinda started end roll??, same with Wadanohara, started watching a friend play Breath of the wild and sky ward sword (of which Ive never played nor watched any gameplay of a Zelda game), mouth washing, web fishing, football 1000 years in the future , trapped

FMA has now been started as of tonight! I like:3!!!

To Consume soon list

Hatoful Boy friend

Great God’s Grove

Rainworld (if Noel wins round two of his timelooper tourney poll as promised)

Saihate Station

Coffee moon(I have the first manga I’ve been sitting on!)

Some day I’ll get to murder drones-

I still need to play all of the project moon games…. I have them all…. Lobo corp just crashed my computer instantly;w;

Off remake when it comes out !!!!

[sam-reid]

last song: 'modern horror' by vision video (i love post-punk/goth, and i am in love with this band)

favourite colour: black. always black. black everything all the time!!

last book: some extremely mid fantasy vampire novel that i wouldn't recommend to anyone lmao. but i'm now a chapter into captive prince by cs pacat, and about fifty pages into the mummy by anne rice

last movie: uhhhh... no idea. wicked? it can't have been wicked. idk i haven't been in the mood to watch anything lately. maybe your monster??

last show: mayfair witches s2 🥲

sweet/savoury/spicy: sweet and savoury, it just depends tbh! i can't do spicy though. it hurts

last thing I searched up: flights to the netherlands

current obsession: i have like... one longstanding obsession which is active at all times, and that's the vampire chronicles. i don't think it even really counts as an obsession if i've loved the thing continuously for 20 years; it's just a part of who i am lmao.

looking forward to: going back to work after the Mess that was last year, going on some short trips (both in the uk and abroad), hanging out with my friends more irl, and seeing some of my favourite bands. and more theatre! (lowkey sad i'm not going to either goth weekend this year but maybe in 2026)

tagged by: @covenofthearticulate 💕

tagging: anyone who wants to! (i never know who to tag in these lol)

[thylocalbard]

'Supdate Sunday Monday #11

Sorry for the late update lol, it's the middle of exam period and I'm busting my ass trying not to fail. Anyways, no AO3 upload this week because of that reason, but I am working on something!

Tyrant's Reign

Nice Antibiotics

Morgwen Flirting

Ranger's Apprentice AU

An New Fandom Calls

tags (reply to be added/taken off the taglist!): @resmyx @tributes-vamps-and-ginnyweasley @creature-of-delerium @theloudestwriter @moonelight

Tyrant's Reign

I'm on Chapter 6! I'm overall much happier with the lore and characterisation in this draft, even if it's taking me ages. I love the relationships I'm setting up tbh. I have also changed Alyx's name to Anushra. Idk if I've mentioned that here before but honestly it's awkward having an Alyx and an Alac. That was dumb. Anyway, check out my sporadic lore on @tyrantsreign and have an excerpt (Hedari and Anushra):

"You're late," they remarked as she let herself in. They were sitting at the table, the usual assortment of rugs cushioning the hard wood of the chair. "Has Orren put you on the archives again?"

"Regrettably," she replied, setting her bag down. "I wish he would just keep a list, or something of the sort. It would make everything much easier."

"So you've said," they said, amusement clear in their voice even as she turned to pull the bread out of the pantry. She would have liked to have something hot, but she couldn't really be bothered to cook.

Nice Antibiotics

More of a concept tbh but I want to introduce it. Basically, Antinous is fostered by Penelope when his father leaves for Troy (I don't know the original lore and I don't care lol), and becomes an older brother to Tele + a helper for Penelope. He falls in with the Suitors as a teen and is slightly horrified when they move in, but pretends he agrees with them to try and mitigate the harm to Penelope and Tele. Mentored by Ares, probably, and also he's definitely gay and banging Eurymachus. I am planning two endings (one angsty, and one fix-it).

Morgwen flirting

I have started it!! I wasn't expecting anyone to actually see that post (me complaining that Morgana would be equally as terrible at flirting as Arthur), but two people were enough motivation to start! I'm 2/3 done a draft and I love it so much I love writing them <33. Excerpt:

Gwen had brought in wildflowers again, a bouquet of white and yellow blooms. Spring was Morgana's favourite season, because it mean flowers from Gwen. The smell of them was clinging to her, and maybe she hadn't put on quite as much perfume that morning because of it.

Ranger's Apprentice AU

That one I'm writing during commute time! Occasionally, anyway. I think I'm over 10k? Idk. I actually need to sit down and plot out the story, because I'm nearing the end of Chapter 3 and honestly, it's going to be a lot harder to pants this once I get to the actual story. Anyways, I have so many plans for this which I am so very excited to write. Excerpt (Crowley and Halt [pretrans]):

Crowley glanced around the nearly-light clearing, before pulling himself to his feet with a sigh and offering a hand to help her up. "D'you drink coffee?"

She tool his hand, the movement making her head sway temporarily. "Is that really a question?"

"Just checking Pritchard didn't miss anything."

A New Fandom Calls

Look, I'm just saying. I think that An Inspector Calls needs a bigger fandom on AO3. Especially a bigger fandom outside of Gerald/Eric shippers. Like sure, I see it, but it's not really a ship I like? More a crackship for me personally. Sheila/Eva? That's another story. I also just. Want to explore the play. because it's amazing. Excerpt of a letter from Sheila to Eva after the events of the play:

Eva,

This is most probably the wrong way to begin a letter to a person I have never met, but I don't suppose it matters much. I'm never going to meet you, after all we've done.

Uhhhh that's it for this week? I promise I haven't lost motivation for GCGC but omfg time is so hard to come by T-T

[auniverseforgotten]

I am snuffling in your inbox and nosing about the ao3 wrapped [writers edition]: 6, 10, 11, 15, 16, 26, 29, 30

WAHOOOOOOO WELCOME TO MY INBOX WOLFIE ask game is here for anyone who wants to do it or send anything in!

6. Favorite title you used?

HONESTLY THE SUCKY PART IS MY FAVORITE TITLE IS FOR A FIC I'M WORKING ON RIGHT NOW DFXCGV and I don't know if I can get the first chapter out tonight [I feel like it's not really countable unless it's ON ao3 since this is ao3 wrapped not writer's wrapped] so I'll use something else BUT WHEN IT GOES UP IT'S THAT ONE.

Anyway I would say prooooooooobably please god don't let this be my legacy just because it hits me hard and it feels so unfair that Salieri is the way he is like. THAT'S ALL FAKE. IT'S ALL FAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE ;A; at least Fate acknowledges it's rumors unlike Amadeus, the Rock Opera one, Pushkin, etc. NO HATE TO ANY OF THOSE I'm sure they're also good I'm just whining because he was SUCH A GOOD MAN and he deserved BETTER.

10. What work was the quickest to write?

I thiiiink it's either The Gospel Truth or Buon Compleanno!! (Sorry About Your Sleep). I know Buon Compleanno was one day bcus I was like OH SHIT SALIERI BIRTHDAY TODAY??? I just can't remember if Gospel Truth was the same. Included bcus I'd been floundering on the prompt I had for AGES, finally scrapped it, and boom out in a day or so.

Could also be From the Heart which I wrote to try and manifest Dantes and it DID NOT WORK though i do have him now.

11. What work took you the longest to write?

I feeeeeel like that's gonna be Do You Miss Us? because it had a lot of moving parts and also I was struggling on what to keep and what to leave. It mostly stayed the same is the thing, which is why I would count it over others. I'm not counting O Fortuna because that is the longest but it's also not complete.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

I am taking ALL MY WIPS INTO NEXT YEAR with me NO WIP LEFT BEHIND though if we're talking published, O Fortuna. I do also have a WIP in the Enchanted Forest Chronicles fandom but I need to do a reread and rewrite the entire first chapter [and only one currently] because I don't really like how it reads anymore....I may just repost it so that people can have the old chapter if they like? Idk, it won't be for a while yet so I have time to think.

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

To everyone's surprise, angst. That me it me it my brand my good ol tasty angst juice get it while it's gut-wrenching.

26. What’s your most common category?

M/M, not too surprising given that most of my writing is the composer blorbos sxdfcghv or the sad Irish blorbos or the sad Welsh blorbos. I WILL WRITE MORE LADIES I WILL.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

I liked a lot of the lines I did, especially in saliama fics bcus there's so much to mess with there. But I would say the apocalypse from Requiem is big vibes for me. Context is the Russian Lostbelt ending and Salieri dies with it, instead of being added to the throne. He was called there to fix the Mozart issue, he fixed it, and now. There's nowhere for him to go. <3

For an apocalypse, it is a beautiful one. Mountains crack and crumble, massive sheets of rock glimmering out of existence right before they strike the shifting ground. Great cracks appear underneath the snow and ice, underneath the piano and his feet, hissing with fading magic. Salieri turns from the crumbling world around him to look at the stars, as one by one they lose their light. The moon shudders, cracks in two, and pours liquid light from the sky. Silvery and oh so cold, he watches it wash away mountains, buildings, battlefields all in one. Darkness chases the light, plunging the land piece by piece into eternal night.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

Not to sound self-deprecating because I know that's how it sounds but uhhhh probably the fact that people wanted to read my fics? Like November of last year I was like oh man people like my fic enough to read them...that's so cool....and now I'm like OH MAN I'VE MADE FRIENDS WITH SO MANY COOL PPL BCUS OF THE BLORBOS.

I dunno. Every time I'm in a new fandom there's that feeling of I'm never going to be a good enough writer for this, why am I trying, and for a few bigger fandoms like Tolkien and Star Wars I never escaped that feeling so I stopped trying. But then you and other people in the Fate fandom really kept me going because you liked my work?? The reason I feel confident enough in writing the blorbos is thanks to all of you. ;w; Hell I have like seven transformers wips now because of Tea's encouragement [love u Tea]

And it's the same for pairings too, I've had a couple mutuals who REALLY boosted my confidence with writing fionndiar or beditris for example and it...really helps me keep going. I know the first rule is write for yourself but I like to share and it's so nice that people like my writing enough to read it and even nicer when they like it enough to let me know they liked it. ;w;

So what I'm SAYING is the biggest surprise was getting to know so many really nice people and making good friends. ;w; Yes yes the power of friendship I CAN HEAR YOU CACKLING FROM HERE WOLFIE.

THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE ASK <3

[chaotic-on-main]

Chapter 8: June - Part 4 [NSFW]

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, uhhh- sex? idk how to tag this kind of stuff. SPEAKING OF...

☾ Author's note ➼ Hehe, hi! I bet y'all never thought you'd see this tag OR BANNER on here ever. Tbh, I thought I would never see this tag or banner on any of my writings. But uhhhh- here we are! If it isn't obvious, this is my first time EVER writing smut. I've never even written self-indulgent smut before because it is REALLY HARD FOR ME TO DO. That's mainly why this chapter took so long (I'M SORRY); I wanted to make sure it was perfect. If you're a minor and read the smut I will find you and cut you! Hehe. Anyways. Again, I am so sorry this chapter took so long!! I've hit quite a rut in my life and I'm just really glad to have gotten it done in the first place. Let me know what y'all think!! ALSO CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE PART LEFT HOLD ME I'M CRYING

☾ Word Count ➼ ~10.9k

The visual of Levi’s bewilderment haunts you just as much as the feeling of his lips on yours does. You’re not sure why you thought kissing your friend would be a good idea at all. Regret gnaws at you as you find yourself in a vicious cycle of rumination.

But it wasn’t all regret, was it? You wanted to kiss him. And you liked it.

Maybe it wasn’t regret at all, actually. What you really felt in your core was disappointment. At yourself for not thinking before acting and at him for not responding the way you inwardly hoped he would. If Levi’s cold shoulder this morning wasn’t proof enough, you don’t know what was.

“Love?” Hange’s voice cuts through the white noise reverberating through your skull. Slowly, you turn to where your sister currently sits with light green paste smeared all over their face. You blink the glassiness away and raise an eyebrow at them – which is a little hard to do as you have the same paste smudged on your face that is in the process of drying.

“Were you listening at all?” Concerned eyes bore into yours. You’d say you were thankful for the green tea facial that covers the dark circles under your lashes, but you knew Hange had noticed the moment they laid eyes on you today. They click their tongue and sit upright in your direction.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

‘What do you mean?’

“You look like you didn’t sleep a wink last night and you have been out of it all day. What are you thinking about?”

‘It’s nothing. Just had trouble sleeping.’

“You’re only restless when you have something on your mind.”

You stick your bottom lip out. In truth, you really did want to talk about it, but you weren’t sure what you wanted to say. Hange wasn’t the type to let things go when it came to you though, especially when you’re distressed. You’d need to say something now whether you liked it or not.

‘I like Levi.’ You sign quickly, averting your gaze from the piercing light-brown eyed stare burning holes in your face. You sigh softly and tuck your chin in the white fluffy robe that wraps around your body, ignoring the fact that you’re wiping the face mask off into the fabric as you do. It takes them a moment to realize you’re not planning on saying anything else.

“And that’s upsetting?” They laugh and relax back into the plush cushions. “That’s nothing new. I’ve known for a long time.”

Your eyes cut over to Hange again at that, wide in shock.

‘You knew? How? Since when?’

“I know when someone’s smitten. And you my darling? You are smitten like a kitten.” They roll their head in your direction as they speak, eyes sparkling. “Probably since February.”

Was it that early?

‘Can you be specific?’ You feel your face heat up from under the thick mask.

“If only you had a mirror. You should see the way you look at Levi. It’s so obvious, even Nanaba picked up on it.” They smirk as they twist in your direction, resting their chin on a hand that sits propped up on the armrest. A wide smile carved up and into their eyes.

“What happened last night anyways that made you discover this known secret?” Hange already knew, they had to have. Their demeanor changed from worried to curious in the blink of an eye.

‘Nothing.’ You sit back in a huff, closing your eyes.

You hear Hange sigh softly but doesn’t press for the next half hour. Your body sinks deeper into the plush massage chair as your head sits back on the head rest. Off to the side, you hear the soft babbling of the fountain piece that pairs wells with the gentle spa music that floats from the ceiling speakers down to your ears. Your brain wanders and you feel the heaviness that comes with sleep about to settle in.

“Excuse me?” A sudden voice startles you. You pop an eye open to see a spa employee in mint robes standing in front of the chairs you and Hange were relaxing in. “It’s time to move on to the hot pools, are you both ready?”

“Oh yes!! I’ve been looking forward to this part.” Hange exclaims, practically throwing themselves out of the chair.

.

The steamy mineral water stings your skin upon first contact. It wasn't uncomfortably hot, but it was close. It takes you a few seconds to get used to it and before you know it, you’re sinking low until your nose is submerged. Only your eyes and up show, like a crocodile floating as it hunts. You had put your hair up so that it wouldn’t get wet, but a few loose strands decide they want to get wet anyways as they float around your face.

Your sister, on the other hand, does not take the gentle approach. Before you know it, they’re running down the ramp ass naked. They throw themselves into the water when they get deep enough, throwing water straight in your face. Luckily, the pools are slotted out by appointments so it’s just the two of you in the small, enclosed room. They disappear for a second, submerged in the water leaving only ripples behind that float across the top.

“Are you going to tell me what happened now?” Hange’s low voice comes from right next to you, causing your heart to skip a beat. Despite the unnerving crawl of your skin, you side eye them and shake your head.

Their words bounce around in your skull. If even Nanaba picked it up, that would mean Levi knew too, right? Is that why he brushed you off this morning? This wouldn’t be the first time that he’s held things back from you, but you hoped that had changed in the last handful of months. A fleeting thought of going to him first zooms through your mind and disappears just as quickly.

“Did he kiss you?” Hange’s voice is so close that you feel the heat of their breath blowing right against your ear. You push back from instinct, swatting the water and subsequently splashing them in the face.

“Oh my, he definitely did. Look at your face!” Hange muses as they tread up closer to your face and there’s half a foot between noses. You shove at the tops of their shoulders and blow them a raspberry. They were ever persistent.

‘If you must know, he didn’t kiss me.’ You’re suddenly focused on the waterspout sitting opposite of you on the wall.

“Damn. I was rea-“

‘I kissed him.’

“Wha-?! You?!”

Without another word, you turn your back on their open-mouthed stare and head for the sitting ledge in the back corner. Steam rises off your warm skin as you do, merging easily with the rest of the hot air. Hange follows, mumbling under their breath as they process the news. When you twist to sit down, you’re face to face with Hange as they squat into the water across from you.

“I’m guessing by your reactions, it didn’t go well?”

‘He pulled away and gave me a weird look.’

“What did he say after?”

You don’t answer that, instead you slide into the water until you’re halfway submerged again. The hot water tingles against your raw face, making you wince until the uncomfortable feeling subsides. A few bubbles burst on the surface from your released huff.

“You didn’t give him a chance to, did you?” They raise an eyebrow at you. The amusement that tugged at their features melted away to reveal concern. You raise your hands out of the water, water droplets falling back in with little splashes.

‘He pulled away quickly and gave me a look that didn’t really scream “yay”. What was I supposed to do?’

“Sit and talk to him like the adult you are?” More bubbles pop at the surface as your eyes narrow at them.

‘What if he doesn’t want to talk? Or even see me? Or be my friend anymore?’

“Well, did he kiss back?”

‘I don’t know. I can’t remember. A lot was happening.’

“I imagine he did. He likes you too, you know.”

You roll your eyes at that. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. But that doesn’t change the shocked expression that he stared at you with before you ran off for the night. You feel the pressure of his lips on your mouth again and it makes your heart skip a beat. How confusing this all was.

“Want me to make him talk to you?” Hange says with a smirk on their lips.

‘Don’t even think about it. He’ll just kill both of us.’ You flick water in their direction at which they chuckle at it.

“Just give it some time, you’ll figure it out. But probably not too much time because this was a friend group before you both decided to catch feelings and I will not have this group break apart because you both want to be teenagers about it all.” They shrug their shoulders at that.

‘What happens if we never talk again?’

“Not allowed. I’ll lock you two in a room if I have to. Oh wait, maybe I should do that? Then you’ll either talk, fight, or kiss again.” They ramble on, tapping a forefinger on their chin as they think. Their eyes shoot over to yours, wide and full of excitement.

“If you both start dating, it’s for the long run by the way. Marriage or nothing. I can’t risk the friend group falling apart.” They joke. Part of you thinks there’s a bit of truth in their words but you let it slide. The prospect of marriage though? Was it your face heating up at the thought or the hot water?

You give them an exasperated look despite it all, offering them a thumbs down as well.

“I’m only half joking. You and him will figure something out eventually. Who knows, maybe it’s all a misunderstanding! You’re shy and he’s… well. Him. Maybe you just need to make the first move.” They offer you a small smile, their eyes softening again.

 That fleeting thought from earlier comes back. Again, Hange’s words held some truth as they always do. You already made the first move and that didn’t work out the way you planned. But If Levi didn’t know to come to you, maybe you would have to open that door for him, granted he doesn’t slam it in your face. You decide you’ll do what you can to pull him aside tonight.

.

Much to your dismay, the appointment ends too quickly. Fortunately, Hange kept up with their promise of taking you shopping since there were a few hours until it was time to meet up with the boys who were no doubt still out golfing. You laugh at the idea of Levi standing on the greens with a signature bored expression, but then you remember you were supposed to be anxious. You don’t know what you’re going to say to him.

After a while, you forget your worries for a time. Hange finds a really nice pantsuit that frames their tall body well. You found a simple sundress that frills out on your waist in a color that your sister exclaimed matched your eyes so well. And it was nice being able to chat, that feeling of dread that coursed through your veins like ice forgotten.

That is until you’re standing in front of Levi with your hands twisting in each other – a nervous habit you picked up just recently. The fabric of your dress feels like it’s digging into your skin as you stand awkwardly, your heart feeling as if it might explode. He doesn’t even look your way, eyes glued to his phone as he mindlessly scrolls. The idea of getting him to talk to you falters.

He's wearing a slate gray dress shirt in a complementary shade for his eyes. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows neatly. The rest of his outfit is clean yet casual and perfect for the place Erwin had reserved. Some of his hair falls in his face as he continues to look down, ignoring the fact that Erwin was calling everyone to attention.

“Are we ready to go? The taxi is here.” Erwin gives you and Hange a once over when he looks up from his phone. “Wow, you both look like you had a good day - practically glowing.” He gives you a beaming smile and you force one back in return, feeling the quivering of your muscles as your lips pull back.

Levi glances up finally and his dark eyes scan the room. When they land on you, they linger for a second longer before he looks away as he pulls himself up from the barstool. You did not miss the subtle surprise that flashed across his face as well as his eyes flickering down to the sakura necklace you put back on for this evening. You had taken it off the last few days to keep it safe, something you were not used to doing before. You almost sighed in relief when you felt the familiar and subtle weight around your neck again.

The car ride to the restaurant was fortunately short but to you, it was agonizing the whole time. Erwin opted for the front seat to help direct the driver so that left you, Hange, and Levi in the back. Your sister forced you in the middle and they claimed it was for safety reasons but you knew better.

Your almost bare thigh sits against Levi’s after you all piled in, snug as can be. You pull your arms together so that you’re not squishing into Levi any more than you have to. He’s facing the window, arm propped up and leaning against it as he looks out. You spend the whole ride rehearsing what you wanted to say to him.

When the taxi parks in front of the restaurant, you take a deep breath. It was now or never, you tell yourself. You force yourself out of Levi’s side after he slides out, having to push the door as he almost shuts it in your face.

You’re able to reach far enough to grab his wrist to make him stop and he spins on you quickly, eyes flaring with annoyance – barely softening when he notices it’s you. It takes all of your strength to keep your fingers latched on to him despite the look on his face. After a moment, he helps you out of the car with that same hand, making sure to keep you steady as you almost trip on the curb.

‘Can we talk?’  You sign quickly.

He considers you, eyebrows pinched the way they do.

“Tch. We don’t have time, Hange and Erwin are waiting for us.” He finally grumbles back, eyes aimed at the retreating figures now walking through the double glass doors. He turns on his heels and leaps up the stairs, leaving you and your hurt feelings at the bottom.

So much for trying.

Even in your sour mood, you still appreciate how beautiful the restaurant is from the outside. It’s very high end with a large crystal chandelier peeping out of the tall windows that make up the majority of the front wall. The railings of both sides of the stairs are adorned with growing vines and colorful flowers. A simple sign in neat cursive hangs above the front doors, reading ‘La Crevette’. You raise an eyebrow at that but say nothing before making your way into the air-conditioned interior alone.

The inside is even better. The gold inlay that decorates the white marble adds a delicate and elegant tone. On the walls sit ceiling high mirrors that you can’t help but stare in as your eyes scan the new surroundings. You catch Levi’s eyes in the reflection before he turns away to follow the hostess who is now leading you all to your designated table.

To say that the atmosphere at the table was so tense you could cut it with a knife would have been an understatement. You find yourself sitting across from Levi - at least 5 feet away. The chill emanating from him makes you shiver and you wish you had brought a jacket with you.

Orders were already taken so now you sit in silence as Hange and Erwin compare the activities they both did today. Levi’s fingers drum against the clothed table as he stares out the window to the left of you. It looks out into the ocean, the setting sun painting the sky, those beautiful oranges and pinks that you liked so much. You fidget with the napkin that sits across your lap in tight fingers as you stare. Erwin calls your name.

“So how did you like the spa? Did they take care of you as well?” His clear eyes stare into yours with interest.

You smile politely and nod, signing along saying ‘They did, it was quite luxurious. Thank you for setting it up for us.’ He smiles back and chuckles.

“Hange said the baths were really nice. We might have to stop by one before we leave town, huh Levi?” The attention is now diverted onto a very bored looking Levi. He only hums in response, shrugging his shoulders as well.

‘You look like you got quite a bit of sun today.’ Your smile wavers as you eye him. There’s a soft flush across his cheeks as well as his nose and forehead. His gaze flickers up to you and you think you spot conflict in his steely eyes.

“I forgot a hat.” He says back, his curt tone a little too sharp for you. You pretend to not hear it. Your eyes fall onto your water glass after that, Hange and Erwin going back to talking about the other things they did today.

By the time dinner comes and disappears, the tense atmosphere barely stagnates. You sense Erwin and Hange can feel it too, but they don’t say anything. The only things you’re given are looks, ranging from curiosity to what you imagine is understanding. You don’t blame them though, this is really something that you and Levi need to hash out. Anxiety gnaws at your chest as you continue to pull on the thin fabric of your dress.

Eventually, the waiter comes with the check and hands it over to Erwin per his request - you all knew better than to argue with him about it. When Erwin hands the black book back with his card of choice, the waiter takes it and leans over to start gathering dishes out of the way. As he reaches from behind you, the feeling of his sleeve brushing against the side of your neck makes you stiffen up. When he pulls away, a small pop resonates by your ear.

The lack of weight around your neck is instantaneous. You watch in silent horror at your favorite necklace plopping into your lap softly. Everything goes quiet as you pick up the chain in shaky fingers, almost losing the sakura pendant as you do. The sight of the delicate golden chain now broken in a place that would not be an easy fix makes you feel like someone is stepping on your chest - crushing you.

You feel hot tears rolling down your face and you blink hard a few times. You’re in too much shock to make a sound. The waiter’s incessant apologies come muffled as realization dawns on you. You should have kept it tucked away and safe. You shouldn’t have kissed Levi. This necklace is you and Levi right now. Broken necklace, broken friendship. Your fault. All of it is your fault.

Placing it on the table gently, you force another sweet smile, one that closes your eyes and you feel more tears pressing out as you do.

‘I’m going to get some air.’ You sign.

Before anyone can protest, you push your chair out and away from the table, bumping into the still apologizing waiter. You sign a few hard apologies yourself before running down the ramp to the host station and out the front doors. Your feet take off down the street in the direction of the condo, tears streaming still but not a single sob escaping your lips.

A hand closes around your wrist, the force of your speed almost knocking you back as someone holds you still. The firm grip is telling enough that you don’t have to look around to see who it is, but you do anyway. Levi is out of breath from running after you, chest heaving and hair windswept.

“Where are you going?” His voice is stern and laced with annoyance.

You only shake your head in response, still feeling the tears rolling down your cheeks and off your chin. You have no energy left for a fake smile and his subtle annoyance feels like another knife in the chest. You’re not sure if it was the exhaustion, the necklace, or Levi, but you feel inexplicable rage boiling over. Ripping your arm out of his grip, you start signing roughly.

‘Why are you here?’

“I’m worried about you. You’re upset.” His steely eyes cut into yours, narrowing.

‘You could have fooled me. It seems to me you want nothing to do with me, ignoring me the way you have all day. What do you want?’ He flinches at that, surprised by your less than normal aggression.  

“I-I’m sorry. I just don’t…” He runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and out of his face. He stumbles through his words, something you’ve never seen him do. But you can’t think about that right now, your patience is thinning and you can’t face him if he still refuses to acknowledge the hurt he’s dealt to you even if he didn’t realize it.

‘‘I can’t fix it.’ You sign shakily, fingers fumbling over each other.

“I’ll take a look at it. And if it’s not fixable, I can just get you a new one.” It dawns on you that Levi doesn’t understand, and you’re not certain if he ever did.

‘I’m not talking about the necklace, Levi!’ You’re in the middle of the sidewalk slamming your hands together as people rush past you two. As always, it feels as if it’s just you and Levi and everyone else are blurring streaks in the background. This time, it doesn’t feel as pleasant.

He doesn’t say anything back, choosing to stare with his lips parted as if he wanted to.

‘Why won’t you just talk to me? I thought you trusted me with yourself.’

“I do. Trust you, I mean.”

‘Then talk to me!’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘Right.’ You don’t give Levi a chance to refute as you turn around swiftly and start off in the direction of the condo, head hung low as you do your best to sniffle quietly. Fortunately, no one looks your way as you shuffle down the sidewalk.

Different layers of pain pile on your shoulders and you’re not sure how you’re going to get out from under them. The worst of them all seems to seep into your heart in a heavy way, weighing you down so much that you’re surprised you make it back to the elevator of the condo without collapsing. When the doors shut in front of you, you allow yourself to finally fall apart like you’ve been wanting to all day, sobs racking from deep within your chest.

.

The moment you get into the bedroom, you slam the door behind you and prep for bed. The lingering sunlight filters through the room, painting the room gold. You didn’t care what time it was, you just knew you were ready to pass out from the day.

As you loosen your hair from the multitude of pins sticking in it, you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Your eyes are bloodshot, the skin around them puffy. At least you don’t have to do much since your tears broke down most of the makeup already, only needing the gentle swipe of a cloth. The moment after you slip on your sleepwear, you toss yourself into the soft sheets of your temporary bed and curl in on yourself.

The hurt from last night comes back tenfold. Only this time, frustration burns under your skin. Before you know it, nightmares come to you in the form of dark slate grays.

The next time your eyes open, they’re met with darkness. You’re not sure if the moon decided to stay away or if the clouds had rolled in during your slumber, but regardless your vision is pitch-black. Soft snoring to your right indicates that Hange had made it back and is currently deep in sleep. You vaguely recall hearing them calling out to you when they came back shortly after you fell asleep.

Rolling onto your back, you are greeted with the dim red light from the alarm clock illuminating the ceiling. You imagine it’s quite late in the night considering how refreshed you feel despite the lingering melancholy from dinner.

With a huff, you sit up and swing your legs off the bed. Your bare feet hit the cool, hard floor and you make quick yet quiet work of sneaking out of the bedroom. You know Hange could sleep through anything, but you did not want to suffer on the off-chance they woke up – you were not prepared to face them right now.

After closing the bedroom door, you pad over to the fridge and pull it open. The only drink options were a couple of beers and a handful of caffeinated sodas. You wish you had a cup of Levi’s tea in your hands, but instead you opt for water from the filtered pitcher. After taking a tentative sip of it, you decide that going back to sleep was not an option for you. You kick yourself for potentially screwing up your sleep schedule for the rest of the trip but that was a problem for future you.

With a cold glass in hand, you step over to the plush couch and sink into it. Grabbing the remote in the other, you turn it on and flinch as you’re met with a loud commercial about an action movie coming out soon. Quickly, you turn the volume down to one and sit still as you listen for any sounds of your roommates – luckily it stays silent. You sigh softly.

You pull over a blanket from the other side of the couch and tuck yourself in. You let your mind wander for a bit as a random movie starts to play, the low volume buzzing in the background. Thankfully, your thoughts stay away from Levi. That is, until you watch as a teacup is placed down on the glass coffee table in front of you with a clink as well as delicate fingers pulling away from the handle.

Blinking the glassiness from your vision, your eyes trail up the muscular arm that belongs to a weary-eyed Levi. His gaze shifts away quickly as he lowers himself on the other side of the couch as far as possible from you. He lifts his own teacup to his lips and takes a small sip, eyes forward on the movie ahead.

He doesn’t say anything to you, which you’re not certain if you should be grateful for, or annoyed. You were thinking about wanting some of his tea earlier, but now that it’s here, you’re torn between indulging him or not. As your eyes narrow on the steam that rises off the amber liquid, Levi pipes up finally.

“I didn’t poison it, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He mumbles. You flicker your eyes over to him, but his gaze stays glued to the TV in front.

You let out a soft huff and reach for it, taking the handle in between two fingers and pulling it up to your mouth. Upon the first sip, you withhold a sigh of content. Levi always knew how to make a mean cup of tea. But you won’t say that to him right now. You’re still fuming, tea or no. With that thought, you down it the best you can despite the scorching heat of it as it burns itself down to the pit of your stomach.

You stand when you’ve finished, placing the cup back onto the saucer and then turning around to fold the blanket back up. The space is turning tense by the second and you don’t want to deal with this right now. After placing the blanket on the armrest, you reach down to grab your tea set as well as Levi’s, but his hand stops you as his fingers close around your wrist once again.

“Stay. Please? I want to talk.” You side eye him, noting the nervousness in his eyes. If it wasn’t for that, you would have stormed off. For once, it seems Levi is ready to talk, and whether you were ready or not, you needed to listen.

Setting the saucers back down, you sit on the other side of the couch again, facing him with your arms placed over your chest. Only now do you realize you’re still in a nightgown that barely covers your ass and no bra. Trying to be natural about it, you grab the pillow that sits in the middle of the cushion and pull it to your chest to cover up.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?” He rubs the back of his neck as he watches you. His anxiety looks like it’s about to overflow.

‘Is that really all you want to talk about? Small talk?’

“No! Of course not.” He grumbles. He mirrors you, folding his arms across his chest. He’s getting defensive again.

‘Then what do you want?’ You click your tongue in annoyance.

“I don’t know wha-…” He falters.

‘You do know what you want. You just won’t say it.’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘But you know, don’t you? What is holding you back? What is making this so difficult for you to talk to me?’ Your signs come out more forceful than you meant.

His arms fall into his lap as his focus darts to the tv off to the side. You eye him warily and purse your lips while you wait for him to continue, which he does after sighing heavily in frustration.

“I’m afraid, okay? I’ve never felt so conflicted about stuff like this before. But I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you all day. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, I just didn’t know how to face you. Or what to even say to you.”

“I’m sorry.” he says quietly, shifting his gaze back to your face.

The look in his eyes is chock-full of anxiety and panic. Your fingers are flying before you can stop them. The strong walls of anger you had put up for protection start crumbling away, making room for disappointment as well as regret for making him feel this way.

‘I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry to have caused you so much strife.’ You bite the inside of your cheek.

Levi scoffs at that, his gray eyes cutting over to you, narrowing. He doesn’t say anything right away, instead using this moment to shift on the couch until his knees are against his chest as he faces you a couple feet away. 

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispers finally, dark eyes piercing into yours.

‘You’ve been brushing me off all day. It’s because I kissed you when I shouldn’t have. You hate me. And you regret it even now.’ You feel the tears from earlier start to well again, but you refuse to let them spill in front of Levi.

“Why would I hate you?”

‘I just feel like I ruined our friendship with my actions, and you wouldn’t talk to me about it so I also feel like you want nothing to do with me because of it.’

“I don’t hate you.” He mutters, eyes shifting away before jumping back to yours. “I could never hate you.”

‘Then why won't you talk to me?’

Levi gets up abruptly and starts pacing back and forth in front of you with his shaky fingers raking through his hair. The anxiety radiating off him is palpable.

“It’s hard to put into words.” Levi says simply. A scowl appears as he pinches the bridge of his nose between fingers. He continues to pace, eyes half closed as he mutters to himself. You hear something about ‘not being used to this’ and ‘being blindsided’.

You lean forward and grab his pant leg with tight fingers. His sweatpants’ waistband slides down his hip from the sudden force of your grip, immobilizing him unless he wanted them pulled down any further. His steely eyes snap to your troubled expression and he softens immediately, hands dropping to his sides.

‘Just try.’ You give him your best pleading eyes, bottom lip jutting out as far as it can go.

Levi side eyes you as you hold him in place, his lips pinched into a thin line. He opens his mouth as he attempts to figure out what he wanted to say next. It takes a few tries but eventually, he settles on the last thing you’d expected him to say. It’s like his naturally stoic demeanor melts into something completely unrecognizable – not like you were complaining.

“When you kissed me, it was like I understood everything and nothing at the same time. I was so confused.” Levi mutters under his breath, sitting back down on the couch but this time on the cushion closest to you. His thigh brushes up against your knees, sending tingles up your spine from the sudden contact.

“Ever since you’ve stumbled back into my life, I couldn’t understand why you were always on my mind. I think I do now.” He continues without missing a beat. “I think I’ve always cherished you in some capacity, just in different stages.” Levi places his face in his hands that were propped up against his knees. After a few seconds, his head turns to you with a familiar expression. The way he looks at you reminds you of the little boy next door all those years ago.

“Leeeeeviii!!” You yell as you bound down the front steps without a care in the world. Your brother and Levi currently sit on the lawn, messing around with their action figures who were currently in a heated battle. In your excitement, you completely miss the bottom step and stumble down onto your hands and knees, rough concrete digging into your skin.

The wails that come out of you are loud enough that the dogs across the street start barking. A pair of hands are on you in an instant, helping to pull you up and onto the bottom step that had caused you so much trouble in the first place.

“I’ll go get some bandages.” Your brother says in a panic, running up the stairs and back in the house you had just come out of.

“You’re okay, it’s just some scratches.” You look up through blurry lashes to see Levi staring at your bleeding knees. You’re not going to bleed out, but crimson is trickling down your legs and it’s enough to make you cry harder.

Levi takes your little hands into his slightly bigger ones and inspects them. He brushes off the small gravel that had embedded itself into your skin, his tongue stuck between his teeth in focus. You observe him as best as you can despite the salty water obscuring your vision. Levi’s eyelashes flutter across his cheeks as he turns your hands over to get a better look at them.

“Not cut, just a little dirty. Nothing that can’t be fixed.” He says softly to you. Blue-gray eyes look up into yours and you realize you stopped crying. He offers you a lopsided grin as he squeezes your hand a few times.

“See? Not broken. You’ll be okay.”

He was always so calm with you. You shoot him a toothy grin while squeezing his hand back a few times. So calm. So safe.

“Levi, I’m never letting you go.”

You laugh at the sudden memory that flashes before your vision. You’re grateful for Levi in many ways, despite the fact he made you mad sometimes. Memory recovery was one of the reasons why. Levi’s eyes widen at your sudden outburst.

“What?”

‘Remember when I ate shit outside of my house when we were kids?’

He hesitates as he thinks.

“Which time?” His lips twitch at his comment and you realize it probably wasn’t the first time you had fallen. You appreciate your resilient nature as a kid, taking note of the small scars that probably decorated your knees even to this day.

‘Levi, I think there’s always been a part of me that’s always felt safe with you. And, I think having a future without you in it, no matter what that means, isn’t something I want to see. So, I think that’s why I was so torn up about this. The idea of you leaving just tears me apart.’

Levi sits up at your confession, staring at you in curiosity. There’s a new look of assurance on his face as he eyes you. A pink flush creeps up his neck and into his cheekbones as he focuses back on the colorful screen ahead.

“I don’t have any plans to leave.” He mutters.

There’s more silence, only cut up by the voices on the television and distant crashing of waves from down below. You watch him closely as he blinks slowly, propping his chin up in both arms that sit against his thighs. Before you can sign again, he speaks softly.

“I don’t regret it.” He side-eyes you, as if he were afraid to face you for such a statement.

‘What do you mean you don’t regret it?’

“It means I don’t regret that you kissed me.”

‘Did you want me to kiss you?’

Silence.

“You should probably get some sleep. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as exhausting. We can talk more then.” Levi says quietly, changing the subject.

You narrow your eyes at him, annoyed he would close up after so much progress. But then a yawn so big escapes your mouth and you shove your face into the pillow you were still hugging until it’s done. When you look back up, you see Levi watching you in amusement before his expression changes into indifference quickly. Maybe this would be best saved for the next day when you were both awake.

‘What about you?’

“I don’t sleep much, you know that. I’ll be okay.” He shrugs his shoulders as he gets up from the sofa. He reaches for the remote and turns off the tv then carefully places it back on the coffee table. Then he turns around to offer you a hand which you take, still hugging the pillow to your chest. He raises an eyebrow at that but turns on his heel to head to his bedroom. With a soft sigh, you place the pillow back and follow him down the hallway to your room.

The need to figure out what was going through his mind was strong, but your exhaustion hits harder. As you pass the kitchen, you note the time was about to hit five in the morning which means you have been up for a while. Despite the amount of sleep from earlier, you feel your body giving in to the heaviness of fatigue – no doubt a consequence of having such a taxing day.

You watch as Levi stops outside of his door, right hand gripping the doorknob in white knuckles. As you pass him, you reach over and place your hand on top of his. When his eyes fall on you, you offer a small smile.

 ‘What’s wrong?’

Before you can pull away, Levi says your name and stares over at you with longing.

“What am I to you?”

With shaky hands, you sign back, ‘What would you like to be, Levi?’ Adrenaline courses through your veins like lava at the sudden question.

“Yours.” It’s so soft, barely audible. And yet so full of conviction.

Levi looks down at your lips quickly before jumping back up to your eyes. In a swift motion, he releases the doorknob and grabs your hand, pulling you in closer to him with sudden force. His gaze is as firm as the grip on you, holding you in place. When he speaks again, his words come out measured.

“You’re right, I do know what I want. My answer is yours. I want to be yours.”

Your eyes widen at the sudden confession, and you stare at him with your lips parted in surprise. As if time slowed down, just like in the elevator, Levi tilts your chin in his direction - pinching it gently between his thumb and index finger. He leans in slowly, his eyes staring into yours as he wavers inches away. Levi is so close to you that his hot breath hits your face, and you smell hints of his black tea and traces of pine.

“And I want to kiss you. Is that okay?” You nod, dazed by his proximity.

Carefully, his mouth meets yours and you instantly distinguish the difference between this kiss and the one in the elevator. This one is hesitant, nervous. But traces of ravenous hunger linger as an aftertaste.

That same heat blazes from your face all the way down to your toes. Levi’s fingers move from your chin to right under your jaw, tilting your face into him even more. After a moment, he breaks away granting you a moment to catch your breath. His face is still inches from yours, gray eyes fluttering closed as your forehead rests against his. Your name tumbles out of his mouth, almost like a beg.

“I need to know.” He pulls away from you, the air around you instantly turning cold from the lack of his presence. “Will you let me?”

‘Let you what, Levi?’ You know what he wants, but you just want to hear him say it again. And again and again and again.

“Let me be yours.” Your smile would have blinded the whole world.

‘Mine.’

He leans in again, cupping your whole face in his calloused hand and locking his lips back over yours. The hunger intensifies just like the buzzing throughout your whole system. You open your mouth slightly to let his tongue in to explore and it does, eliciting a quiet moan from you. You swear you hear Levi growl in response. Oh, how touch starved you two were for each other.

As if in sync, Levi opens the bedroom door and you both stumble still lip-locked into his room. He pushes you up against the door, shutting it behind you. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss, you would have been worried by how loud the slam must have been. Levi presses up against you more, sandwiching you between the heat of his body and the cool wooden door behind you. You already feel how hard he is under his sweatpants.

You’re more inexperienced than most so there’s hesitation in your kiss – something Levi picks up on quickly. He pulls away but leaves his hands on your face as he looks at you with apprehension.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to tonight.” He whispers to you. His voice is as sincere as it always is, albeit husky. You place a hand over his that sits on your face, leaning into it as you do before signing back.

‘I want all of you.’ You offer a loving smile, wide and full of adoration for the man in front of you. Levi’s eyes bounce back and forth between yours as if searching for something. He finds nothing but pure truth.

Levi’s lips crash back onto yours, careful but just as heated. As his marred lips leave and make their way down your neck, one of your hands slides up his chest to his undercut until your fingers find what they were looking for, tangling in his raven hair.

The moment you feel his teeth pinch your soft skin, another moan comes out louder than before. Having him pressed up against you like that, the outline of his cock pressing into your stomach, you start to feel your patience slowly unraveling.

Your nervousness flies out the window. This was Levi, you had no reason to worry. Levi is safe to you. He would take care of you as he always does. And you would do the same. The thought makes you smile up at the ceiling. Before you know it, your hands push against Levi’s soft skin, and he pulls away quickly. Worry pools into his dark eyes as he watches you carefully.

“Is everything okay?” He murmurs hoarsely.

Instead of signing back, you force him to step back towards the bed with your palm pressed against his chest until the back of his knees hit the edges of the mattress. The force alone makes him lurch back so that he falls back onto the soft duvet, catching himself on his hands so that he’s sitting up.

In a swift motion, you straddle his hips, and your lips find solace on his mouth yet again. You don’t hesitate to push your tongue through to taste him again, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing yourself into him more.

You don’t mean to, but you find your hips grinding on to him, the only barriers between your already soaked self and Levi being the clothes you wish were off. The pressure and friction against your very sensitive core make you pull away for breath. Levi’s soft grunts are music to your ears and his lips start trailing back down your neck, his teeth finding purchase in your soft skin yet again. His fingers slide up your back, pulling your night dress up with it.

Then a groan comes out of his clenched teeth, full of frustration.

Levi pulls away again and stares up at you with heavy-lidded eyes full of impatience. You note that pink flush of his that you love so much, deeper in color and painting across his cheeks. As you stare down at him, you come to love this version of Levi and you want nothing but to see his face contort at the way you grinded into him. But he places his hands on your hips to keep you still, much to your dismay. You watch him carefully as he speaks, his voice husky.

“I-uh. I want this, I do. But we need to be safe. And I didn’t bri-“ He averts his gaze, staring at the corner of the bed. You were so lost in the exhilaration of it all, you didn’t think about it. A thick appreciation for him crashes over you because his cautious nature, even if it did slightly kill the heat of the moment.

‘Give me a second. I can help with this. Stay here.’ You give him a chaste kiss before sliding off his lap and out the door quickly. You tiptoe your way back to your room, making sure the only sounds that can be heard are the clock ticking on the wall and the muffled continuous crashing of waves just outside.

When you slip into your room, you see Hange flat on their back with their hair tousled everywhere. Soft snores escape their lips, a telltale sign they are out like a light. Hange wasn’t promiscuous in the slightest, but they weren’t closed minded either. And with that, it meant they stayed prepared.

You creep over to their unorganized suitcase where clothes were strewn all over the place. Reaching into the top compartment, your fingers feel the sharp edges of a foil package and slip it out. You blush to yourself as you think back to Levi’s outline as you make sure it’s the right size.

A snort from behind you makes you freeze in place, breath hitched as you sit crouching in silence. A moment passes. Another minute. Hange’s snores fill the room again and you let loose your held breath, shoulders sagging. You’re sure this conversation would come up again later, but you didn’t want to deal with it right now. Especially with Levi waiting for you.

It takes you next to no time to slip out of your room and back into Levi’s, closing his door with a soft click. Turning around, you show him the condom in between pinched fingers and smile widely to Levi who was still sitting on the edge of the bed for you.

“Did you come prepared?” He raises an eyebrow at the glittering foil.

‘No, but Hange do-‘

“I don’t need to know any more.” Levi blurts out, hands up in defeat. A silent laugh shakes your shoulders as you make your way back over to him. You fling the package onto the bed before straddling him again, noting how hard he was underneath you still.

‘Now where were we?’ You sign with a small smile. Levi smirks and places his hand against your cheek, his thumb tracing your bottom lip gently. You playfully nip at him, and he huffs in amusement.

“You’re breathtakingly beautiful, you know that?” He asks you softly before pulling your face into his and locking his lips on yours. It’s a saccharine-laced kiss. His hands find your hips again, lowering until they are fully on your ass, and they squeeze. A squeak escapes into his mouth as he does, and it just makes his grip on your skin tighter.

Pulling away, you grip his t-shirt from the bottom and start tugging it up. Levi leans back so you can pull it up and over his head, discarding it on the bed next to him. Your hands trail down his toned chest and abs, his skin burning under your touch. It’s soft despite the hard muscles underneath them. Your mouth finds his again as your hands explore, not hesitating to slip your tongue into Levi’s already parted lips.

Your hands find their way back in his hair, fingers entwining through the fine strands. You can’t help it – you tug gently, and a small whine comes out of his pouty lips as he’s pulled away from your mouth. Something inside you burns and again you feel your razor thin patience cutting at you. 

As if Levi reads your mind, he wraps an arm around your back while leaving his other hand cupping your ass and stands up effortlessly. In a mere moment, he turns around with you in his strong arms and then gently tosses you on to the bed. A soft laugh escapes you as you land. Everything around you smells like Levi.  

Levi stands at the foot of the bed and stares down at you ravenously, a look you don’t think you’ve ever seen on anyone outside of the movies on your television screen. You sit up on your elbows and watch as he gets on the bed and slowly makes his way on top of you. He meets your lips with his own as his body hovers over yours, his fingers lightly trailing up your arms resulting in goosebumps following in their wake.

Slowly, you lie back down flush to the mattress, his knees digging into the sheets on either side of your thighs. Levi’s lips start to slide down your jaw which gives you some space to breathe but your breaths quickly turn into soft whimpers as his fingers lightly trace across your lower abdomen. His other hand snakes around the back of your neck, supporting it as he starts planting more soft kisses down it.

 “You can stop me at any time, okay?” Levi whispers, his hot breath tickling your neck. You nod, only wishing you had your voice to say his name and tell him you wanted him. As long as he was with you, you would always want him.

Levi’s hand that was teasing your waist makes its way back up to the lacy lining that adorns the edge of your nightdress, long fingers tugging down the thin fabric that holds your breasts in place. You’re glad Levi isn’t watching your face because you are multiple shades of embarrassment.

But Levi doesn’t say anything, instead he takes a breast in hand and massages it gently as his kisses start trailing down past your collarbone. Before you know it, his soft lips clamp around your already very sensitive nipple, eliciting a loud moan from you. You can’t help but dig your nails into the firm muscles of his back in response, dragging them down as Levi bites down gently. An exhale of hot air blows out of Levi’s mouth against your skin when you do that, a small grunt escaping with it.

You feel the absence of his lips immediately as his lips leave and the wetness left behind leaves your skin defenseless against the cool air. Levi softly kisses back up your sternum then pulls away, leaning forward on both hands that now sit on each side of your face. His tousled hair falls forward, creating shadows across his face as he stares down with that same hungry look, only this time it’s tinted with pure amazement.

“Still okay?” He whispers down to you.

You blink up at him and swallow hard. You were more than okay but as always, your words fail you. Instead, you nod and the hands that once dragged down his back are now trailing down his chest again. The feeling of his skin against yours sends electricity through your whole body, and you want more. You need more. Your hands flatten against right above his rapidly beating heart as you do your best to give him a look that conveys ‘more’.

“I’ve got you.” Those were the words he had muttered down to you the day before as you fell asleep in his arms on the beach. It wasn’t just cherishment that he held for you; it was deeper than that. Hange’s words from earlier flit through your mind, only briefly. How could you not have fully noticed until now?

He leans down and places his lips back on yours, soft and sweet. As your lips lock on to his, you feel his feather light touch trace back down to the elastic band of your underwear. But instead of teasing you like he had before, you feel his fingers dip under the cloth and further down to…

Any other thoughts racing through your mind cease to exist as his delicate fingers slide down your slick folds. You don’t mean to moan as loud as you do and fortunately Levi’s mouth muffles it for you. He hums in response to your reactions, smiling into the kiss.

Levi’s lips graze back down to just under your ear as his fingers rub small circles around your clit eliciting more moans from you. Your labored breaths fill the space as the white-hot heat from his touch reverberates throughout your whole body, tingling down to the tips of your toes. He whispers your name under a heavy breath, mutterings of how beautiful you are to him floating up to your ear. All sweet words mirror the moans you made.

You reach down to Levi’s hardened bulge that currently fights against the stretched fabric of his joggers. Your fingers close around him as much as they can through the thick cloth. Upon contact, Levi’s breath hitches. You give him a gentle squeeze resulting in a guttural groan that comes through his clenched teeth.

In response, his touch burns deep into your core as he carefully pushes a digit into your warm entrance, the palm of his hand applying pressure onto your swollen clit as he does. His movements are gentle as he pumps it in and out slowly, and you feel his finger curving up into a spot so good your toes curl. The euphoria turns into building heat, and you know what’s about to happen - but you wanted more. You wanted him now more than ever and this was not enough. More, more, more.

A soft whine comes out of you as your fingers tighten around him. A light huff tickles against your skin – Levi’s way of chuckling.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” He mumbles, his lips finding your earlobe and nipping at it gently. Reaching over with your other hand, you place your hand against his cheek and pull him up to you, planting your lips right onto his. It’s a hungry kiss, one conveying you were ready for him. You love him, you want him. You need him.

With that, Levi withdraws his hand and slides himself off you and the bed. You sit up and watch as he tugs down his pants along with his boxers. You knew what was coming and yet you couldn’t stop the blood rushing to your cheeks in shy embarrassment. You look away, staring at the ceiling as you hear Levi pick his clothes up including the shirt you threw on the bed, and then place them neatly on the dresser behind him. Your name quietly tumbles out his lips for your attention.

When you look up at him, you see him offering a hand to you. Your eyes flicker down for a mere second before going back up to Levi’s soft gaze. You feel as if you could faint on the spot.

Instead, you push yourself closer to the edge of the bed and take Levi’s hand. In a delicate flourish, you’re in his arms again and he pulls you in for another deep, lingering kiss. His fingers bunch at the bottom of your night dress and start lifting it up. You let him, pulling away enough so he can get the soft fabric up and over your head. He folds it and turns to place it next to his pants. When he circles back on you, he takes a moment to observe your half-naked self.

Being in your thin bathing suit was one thing, but to be standing there as the cool air conditioning drifted across your unprotected self was in a whole other universe. You shift your weight awkwardly and twist your arms together as you avert your gaze to the piled-on dresser.

Levi steps closer to you and takes both of your arms in a gentle grip and pulls them away from each other so that you’re exposed to him. You force your gaze on him despite how nervous you were to be in front of him. Levi’s dark eyes trail down your body but not in an ogling kind of way – he watches you with wonder.

“You’re just so beautiful. Every part of you.” He releases your arms, and his hands are back on you, sliding down your waist and landing on your hips. His fingers leave a trail of tingles. “I want you, all of you. If you’ll have me. Is that okay?” He whispers to you, pulling you by the hips into him. The length of his hardened self presses against your bare stomach as he does.

You sign that same simple word, ‘Mine’.

With that, Levi gently pushes you down into the bed with a hard kiss, leaning into you until your back is pressed against the mattress. He loops his fingers into the sides of your panties and tugs them down your legs, pulling away from you yet again to place them next to the rest of the discarded clothes. At that moment, he takes the time to rip a corner off the metallic package with his teeth, the foil discarded onto the dresser once done.

He grabs your hips again, this time pulling you flush to the edge of the bed as he stands at the foot of it. His hand makes its way to your thigh and his perfectly trimmed nails press into your soft skin as he holds you close. The tip of his cock teases your entrance and if you had a voice, you would have begged for it. As usual, you didn’t have to.

Levi leans down to you and kisses you slowly, teeth brushing against your swollen bottom lip. He places his other hand on the bed next to your head, using it to keep himself propped up. His hair hangs low as he hovers, already moist with sweat from the proximity and building body heat between the two of you. You use one hand to grip his forearm while the other hand slides up the back of his head and into his sweaty hair, fingers digging into his scalp. As the kiss deepens, so do his movements into you.

Levi slides himself in gently, using his hold on your thigh to control his speed. He lifts your leg up against his hip for a better angle but the sharp gasp from you stops Levi in his tracks. He stays there, feeling your warm walls hugging tightly around him.

He pulls away from the kiss and hovers over you again, looking down into your eyes with worry. It's been a while since you have been touched like this, let alone this intimate. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this loved. Levi makes this all so easy despite the anxious knot in your chest. You realize it isn’t just this that he makes easy, though. It’s everything around you. Every issue, every solution.

You imagine you’re looking at him just the same, a small smile etching into your flushed and hot face. Before he can ask again, you move your hand up and under his fingers that digs into the bed next to you. Lacing your fingers in with his, you squeeze his hand a few times.

A way to say you were okay and that you trusted him. And always would.

He looks down at you curiously but then realization dawns on him. His concern washes away to reveal his own version of adoration for you. It’s one of your favorite expressions on him by far.

In a breathless moan, Levi pushes himself all the way in. He presses his lips onto yours, muffling your moans that rise in volume as he slowly rocks into you. The hand he had on your thigh tightens as he pulls you into him more, quickening his pace slightly. The new angle hits a spot that almost puts you at the brink of finishing right then and there.

Levi lets go of your hand and moves his arm under your neck again, giving him the opportunity to trail his now sloppy kisses and teeth down it. Those razor-sharp teeth sink into your skin as one of his thrusts hit simultaneously. You bite into the back of your hand to keep yourself from wailing out and waking the rest of your roommates. The other hand that now sits against his sweaty chest digs into his skin, burying deeper with every thrust. It feels as if every part of your body burns like wildfire from his touch. Your name comes out in a groan this time, husky and deep.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful. You feel so good.” He buries his face into your collarbone as he moans your name again, shakily.

Levi thrusts soon become clumsy, feeling him slam into you inconsistently and with every hit comes more pressure against your clit. Heat builds into your core, the same as before. You’re pulling at his hair, in an attempt to warn him you were close. Throaty curses leave his lips as you both feel each other tense up.

In an instant, it’s like the world crumbles around you as you hit your limit. The walls surrounding Levi clenches as each wave of pleasure rolls through your whole system. Your orgasm sends Levi over the edge and in one deep thrust of his hips, you feel his body shudder as his moan almost turns into a whine. His teeth bite into you again as he rides through his own climax, filling up the condom within you.

Levi releases your leg and lets it fall gently against the bed before collapsing on top of you. He uses an arm to keep himself propped up enough to not suffocate you with his body weight. You focus on the heavy panting emanating from the both of you as you come down from your high. His heart beats in sync with your own against as he lays on top of you, digging his face into the crook of your neck.

You wrap your arms around his head and hold him close, despite the heat and sticky sweat between your bodies. Levi nuzzles his nose into sweaty soft skin and chuckles, low and hoarse. You both continue to lay like that until the breathing slows down to a normal pace. The next time he speaks, his voice is so soft and barely audible that you almost miss it.

“I love you too.”

☆ Taglist ➼ @averysmolbear @humanitys-strongest-bamf @youre-ackermine @spaghettiyarns @notgoodforlife @roseofdarknessblog @missamity @icansmellsouls @dkbktk420 @romantichomicide95 @janey-stempy @sckerman @secretmoneybearvoid @sujiroses @jadam724 @e-riellaaa @kamyru @highgoon69 @kingkonoha @nube55 @missyasma

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☾ Previous Chapter: June Part 3

☾ Next Chapter: June Part 5 [Final]

[spicerackofblorbos]

Chapter 8: June - Part Four [NSFW]

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, uhhh- sex? idk how to tag this kind of stuff.

☾ Author's note ➼ Hehe, hi! I bet y'all never thought you'd see this tag OR BANNER on here ever. Tbh, I thought I would never see this tag or banner on any of my writings. But uhhhh- here we are! If it isn't obvious, this is my first time EVER writing smut. I've never even written self-indulgent smut before because it is REALLY HARD FOR ME TO DO. That's mainly why this chapter took so long (I'M SORRY); I wanted to make sure it was perfect. If you're a minor and read the smut I will find you and cut you! Hehe. Anyways. Again, I am so sorry this chapter took so long!! I've hit quite a rut in my life and I'm just really glad to have gotten it done in the first place. Let me know what y'all think!! ALSO CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE PART LEFT HOLD ME I'M CRYING

☾ Word Count ➼ ~10.9k

The visual of Levi’s bewilderment haunts you just as much as the feeling of his lips on yours does. You’re not sure why you thought kissing your friend would be a good idea at all. Regret gnaws at you as you find yourself in a vicious cycle of rumination.

But it wasn’t all regret, was it? You wanted to kiss him. And you liked it.

Maybe it wasn’t regret at all, actually. What you really felt in your core was disappointment. At yourself for not thinking before acting and at him for not responding the way you inwardly hoped he would. If Levi’s cold shoulder this morning wasn’t proof enough, you don’t know what was.

“Love?” Hange’s voice cuts through the white noise reverberating through your skull. Slowly, you turn to where your sister currently sits with light green paste smeared all over their face. You blink the glassiness away and raise an eyebrow at them – which is a little hard to do as you have the same paste smudged on your face that is in the process of drying.

“Were you listening at all?” Concerned eyes bore into yours. You’d say you were thankful for the green tea facial that covers the dark circles under your lashes, but you knew Hange had noticed the moment they laid eyes on you today. They click their tongue and sit upright in your direction.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

‘What do you mean?’

“You look like you didn’t sleep a wink last night and you have been out of it all day. What are you thinking about?”

‘It’s nothing. Just had trouble sleeping.’

“You’re only restless when you have something on your mind.”

You stick your bottom lip out. In truth, you really did want to talk about it, but you weren’t sure what you wanted to say. Hange wasn’t the type to let things go when it came to you though, especially when you’re distressed. You’d need to say something now whether you liked it or not.

‘I like Levi.’ You sign quickly, averting your gaze from the piercing light-brown eyed stare burning holes in your face. You sigh softly and tuck your chin in the white fluffy robe that wraps around your body, ignoring the fact that you’re wiping the face mask off into the fabric as you do. It takes them a moment to realize you’re not planning on saying anything else.

“And that’s upsetting?” They laugh and relax back into the plush cushions. “That’s nothing new. I’ve known for a long time.”

Your eyes cut over to Hange again at that, wide in shock.

‘You knew? How? Since when?’

“I know when someone’s smitten. And you my darling? You are smitten like a kitten.” They roll their head in your direction as they speak, eyes sparkling. “Probably since February.”

Was it that early?

‘Can you be specific?’ You feel your face heat up from under the thick mask.

“If only you had a mirror. You should see the way you look at Levi. It’s so obvious, even Nanaba picked up on it.” They smirk as they twist in your direction, resting their chin on a hand that sits propped up on the armrest. A wide smile carved up and into their eyes.

“What happened last night anyways that made you discover this known secret?” Hange already knew, they had to have. Their demeanor changed from worried to curious in the blink of an eye.

‘Nothing.’ You sit back in a huff, closing your eyes.

You hear Hange sigh softly but doesn’t press for the next half hour. Your body sinks deeper into the plush massage chair as your head sits back on the head rest. Off to the side, you hear the soft babbling of the fountain piece that pairs wells with the gentle spa music that floats from the ceiling speakers down to your ears. Your brain wanders and you feel the heaviness that comes with sleep about to settle in.

“Excuse me?” A sudden voice startles you. You pop an eye open to see a spa employee in mint robes standing in front of the chairs you and Hange were relaxing in. “It’s time to move on to the hot pools, are you both ready?”

“Oh yes!! I’ve been looking forward to this part.” Hange exclaims, practically throwing themselves out of the chair.

.

The steamy mineral water stings your skin upon first contact. It wasn't uncomfortably hot, but it was close. It takes you a few seconds to get used to it and before you know it, you’re sinking low until your nose is submerged. Only your eyes and up show, like a crocodile floating as it hunts. You had put your hair up so that it wouldn’t get wet, but a few loose strands decide they want to get wet anyways as they float around your face.

Your sister, on the other hand, does not take the gentle approach. Before you know it, they’re running down the ramp ass naked. They throw themselves into the water when they get deep enough, throwing water straight in your face. Luckily, the pools are slotted out by appointments so it’s just the two of you in the small, enclosed room. They disappear for a second, submerged in the water leaving only ripples behind that float across the top.

“Are you going to tell me what happened now?” Hange’s low voice comes from right next to you, causing your heart to skip a beat. Despite the unnerving crawl of your skin, you side eye them and shake your head.

Their words bounce around in your skull. If even Nanaba picked it up, that would mean Levi knew too, right? Is that why he brushed you off this morning? This wouldn’t be the first time that he’s held things back from you, but you hoped that had changed in the last handful of months. A fleeting thought of going to him first zooms through your mind and disappears just as quickly.

“Did he kiss you?” Hange’s voice is so close that you feel the heat of their breath blowing right against your ear. You push back from instinct, swatting the water and subsequently splashing them in the face.

“Oh my, he definitely did. Look at your face!” Hange muses as they tread up closer to your face and there’s half a foot between noses. You shove at the tops of their shoulders and blow them a raspberry. They were ever persistent.

‘If you must know, he didn’t kiss me.’ You’re suddenly focused on the waterspout sitting opposite of you on the wall.

“Damn. I was rea-“

‘I kissed him.’

“Wha-?! You?!”

Without another word, you turn your back on their open-mouthed stare and head for the sitting ledge in the back corner. Steam rises off your warm skin as you do, merging easily with the rest of the hot air. Hange follows, mumbling under their breath as they process the news. When you twist to sit down, you’re face to face with Hange as they squat into the water across from you.

“I’m guessing by your reactions, it didn’t go well?”

‘He pulled away and gave me a weird look.’

“What did he say after?”

You don’t answer that, instead you slide into the water until you’re halfway submerged again. The hot water tingles against your raw face, making you wince until the uncomfortable feeling subsides. A few bubbles burst on the surface from your released huff.

“You didn’t give him a chance to, did you?” They raise an eyebrow at you. The amusement that tugged at their features melted away to reveal concern. You raise your hands out of the water, water droplets falling back in with little splashes.

‘He pulled away quickly and gave me a look that didn’t really scream “yay”. What was I supposed to do?’

“Sit and talk to him like the adult you are?” More bubbles pop at the surface as your eyes narrow at them.

‘What if he doesn’t want to talk? Or even see me? Or be my friend anymore?’

“Well, did he kiss back?”

‘I don’t know. I can’t remember. A lot was happening.’

“I imagine he did. He likes you too, you know.”

You roll your eyes at that. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. But that doesn’t change the shocked expression that he stared at you with before you ran off for the night. You feel the pressure of his lips on your mouth again and it makes your heart skip a beat. How confusing this all was.

“Want me to make him talk to you?” Hange says with a smirk on their lips.

‘Don’t even think about it. He’ll just kill both of us.’ You flick water in their direction at which they chuckle at it.

“Just give it some time, you’ll figure it out. But probably not too much time because this was a friend group before you both decided to catch feelings and I will not have this group break apart because you both want to be teenagers about it all.” They shrug their shoulders at that.

‘What happens if we never talk again?’

“Not allowed. I’ll lock you two in a room if I have to. Oh wait, maybe I should do that? Then you’ll either talk, fight, or kiss again.” They ramble on, tapping a forefinger on their chin as they think. Their eyes shoot over to yours, wide and full of excitement.

“If you both start dating, it’s for the long run by the way. Marriage or nothing. I can’t risk the friend group falling apart.” They joke. Part of you thinks there’s a bit of truth in their words but you let it slide. The prospect of marriage though? Was it your face heating up at the thought or the hot water?

You give them an exasperated look despite it all, offering them a thumbs down as well.

“I’m only half joking. You and him will figure something out eventually. Who knows, maybe it’s all a misunderstanding! You’re shy and he’s… well. Him. Maybe you just need to make the first move.” They offer you a small smile, their eyes softening again.

 That fleeting thought from earlier comes back. Again, Hange’s words held some truth as they always do. You already made the first move and that didn’t work out the way you planned. But If Levi didn’t know to come to you, maybe you would have to open that door for him, granted he doesn’t slam it in your face. You decide you’ll do what you can to pull him aside tonight.

.

Much to your dismay, the appointment ends too quickly. Fortunately, Hange kept up with their promise of taking you shopping since there were a few hours until it was time to meet up with the boys who were no doubt still out golfing. You laugh at the idea of Levi standing on the greens with a signature bored expression, but then you remember you were supposed to be anxious. You don’t know what you’re going to say to him.

After a while, you forget your worries for a time. Hange finds a really nice pantsuit that frames their tall body well. You found a simple sundress that frills out on your waist in a color that your sister exclaimed matched your eyes so well. And it was nice being able to chat, that feeling of dread that coursed through your veins like ice forgotten.

That is until you’re standing in front of Levi with your hands twisting in each other – a nervous habit you picked up just recently. The fabric of your dress feels like it’s digging into your skin as you stand awkwardly, your heart feeling as if it might explode. He doesn’t even look your way, eyes glued to his phone as he mindlessly scrolls. The idea of getting him to talk to you falters.

He's wearing a slate gray dress shirt in a complementary shade for his eyes. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows neatly. The rest of his outfit is clean yet casual and perfect for the place Erwin had reserved. Some of his hair falls in his face as he continues to look down, ignoring the fact that Erwin was calling everyone to attention.

“Are we ready to go? The taxi is here.” Erwin gives you and Hange a once over when he looks up from his phone. “Wow, you both look like you had a good day - practically glowing.” He gives you a beaming smile and you force one back in return, feeling the quivering of your muscles as your lips pull back.

Levi glances up finally and his dark eyes scan the room. When they land on you, they linger for a second longer before he looks away as he pulls himself up from the barstool. You did not miss the subtle surprise that flashed across his face as well as his eyes flickering down to the sakura necklace you put back on for this evening. You had taken it off the last few days to keep it safe, something you were not used to doing before. You almost sighed in relief when you felt the familiar and subtle weight around your neck again.

The car ride to the restaurant was fortunately short but to you, it was agonizing the whole time. Erwin opted for the front seat to help direct the driver so that left you, Hange, and Levi in the back. Your sister forced you in the middle and they claimed it was for safety reasons but you knew better.

Your almost bare thigh sits against Levi’s after you all piled in, snug as can be. You pull your arms together so that you’re not squishing into Levi any more than you have to. He’s facing the window, arm propped up and leaning against it as he looks out. You spend the whole ride rehearsing what you wanted to say to him.

When the taxi parks in front of the restaurant, you take a deep breath. It was now or never, you tell yourself. You force yourself out of Levi’s side after he slides out, having to push the door as he almost shuts it in your face.

You’re able to reach far enough to grab his wrist to make him stop and he spins on you quickly, eyes flaring with annoyance – barely softening when he notices it’s you. It takes all of your strength to keep your fingers latched on to him despite the look on his face. After a moment, he helps you out of the car with that same hand, making sure to keep you steady as you almost trip on the curb.

‘Can we talk?’  You sign quickly.

He considers you, eyebrows pinched the way they do.

“Tch. We don’t have time, Hange and Erwin are waiting for us.” He finally grumbles back, eyes aimed at the retreating figures now walking through the double glass doors. He turns on his heels and leaps up the stairs, leaving you and your hurt feelings at the bottom.

So much for trying.

Even in your sour mood, you still appreciate how beautiful the restaurant is from the outside. It’s very high end with a large crystal chandelier peeping out of the tall windows that make up the majority of the front wall. The railings of both sides of the stairs are adorned with growing vines and colorful flowers. A simple sign in neat cursive hangs above the front doors, reading ‘La Crevette’. You raise an eyebrow at that but say nothing before making your way into the air-conditioned interior alone.

The inside is even better. The gold inlay that decorates the white marble adds a delicate and elegant tone. On the walls sit ceiling high mirrors that you can’t help but stare in as your eyes scan the new surroundings. You catch Levi’s eyes in the reflection before he turns away to follow the hostess who is now leading you all to your designated table.

To say that the atmosphere at the table was so tense you could cut it with a knife would have been an understatement. You find yourself sitting across from Levi - at least 5 feet away. The chill emanating from him makes you shiver and you wish you had brought a jacket with you.

Orders were already taken so now you sit in silence as Hange and Erwin compare the activities they both did today. Levi’s fingers drum against the clothed table as he stares out the window to the left of you. It looks out into the ocean, the setting sun painting the sky, those beautiful oranges and pinks that you liked so much. You fidget with the napkin that sits across your lap in tight fingers as you stare. Erwin calls your name.

“So how did you like the spa? Did they take care of you as well?” His clear eyes stare into yours with interest.

You smile politely and nod, signing along saying ‘They did, it was quite luxurious. Thank you for setting it up for us.’ He smiles back and chuckles.

“Hange said the baths were really nice. We might have to stop by one before we leave town, huh Levi?” The attention is now diverted onto a very bored looking Levi. He only hums in response, shrugging his shoulders as well.

‘You look like you got quite a bit of sun today.’ Your smile wavers as you eye him. There’s a soft flush across his cheeks as well as his nose and forehead. His gaze flickers up to you and you think you spot conflict in his steely eyes.

“I forgot a hat.” He says back, his curt tone a little too sharp for you. You pretend to not hear it. Your eyes fall onto your water glass after that, Hange and Erwin going back to talking about the other things they did today.

By the time dinner comes and disappears, the tense atmosphere barely stagnates. You sense Erwin and Hange can feel it too, but they don’t say anything. The only things you’re given are looks, ranging from curiosity to what you imagine is understanding. You don’t blame them though, this is really something that you and Levi need to hash out. Anxiety gnaws at your chest as you continue to pull on the thin fabric of your dress.

Eventually, the waiter comes with the check and hands it over to Erwin per his request - you all knew better than to argue with him about it. When Erwin hands the black book back with his card of choice, the waiter takes it and leans over to start gathering dishes out of the way. As he reaches from behind you, the feeling of his sleeve brushing against the side of your neck makes you stiffen up. When he pulls away, a small pop resonates by your ear.

The lack of weight around your neck is instantaneous. You watch in silent horror at your favorite necklace plopping into your lap softly. Everything goes quiet as you pick up the chain in shaky fingers, almost losing the sakura pendant as you do. The sight of the delicate golden chain now broken in a place that would not be an easy fix makes you feel like someone is stepping on your chest - crushing you.

You feel hot tears rolling down your face and you blink hard a few times. You’re in too much shock to make a sound. The waiter’s incessant apologies come muffled as realization dawns on you. You should have kept it tucked away and safe. You shouldn’t have kissed Levi. This necklace is you and Levi right now. Broken necklace, broken friendship. Your fault. All of it is your fault.

Placing it on the table gently, you force another sweet smile, one that closes your eyes and you feel more tears pressing out as you do.

‘I’m going to get some air.’ You sign.

Before anyone can protest, you push your chair out and away from the table, bumping into the still apologizing waiter. You sign a few hard apologies yourself before running down the ramp to the host station and out the front doors. Your feet take off down the street in the direction of the condo, tears streaming still but not a single sob escaping your lips.

A hand closes around your wrist, the force of your speed almost knocking you back as someone holds you still. The firm grip is telling enough that you don’t have to look around to see who it is, but you do anyway. Levi is out of breath from running after you, chest heaving and hair windswept.

“Where are you going?” His voice is stern and laced with annoyance.

You only shake your head in response, still feeling the tears rolling down your cheeks and off your chin. You have no energy left for a fake smile and his subtle annoyance feels like another knife in the chest. You’re not sure if it was the exhaustion, the necklace, or Levi, but you feel inexplicable rage boiling over. Ripping your arm out of his grip, you start signing roughly.

‘Why are you here?’

“I’m worried about you. You’re upset.” His steely eyes cut into yours, narrowing.

‘You could have fooled me. It seems to me you want nothing to do with me, ignoring me the way you have all day. What do you want?’ He flinches at that, surprised by your less than normal aggression.  

“I-I’m sorry. I just don’t…” He runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and out of his face. He stumbles through his words, something you’ve never seen him do. But you can’t think about that right now, your patience is thinning and you can’t face him if he still refuses to acknowledge the hurt he’s dealt to you even if he didn’t realize it.

‘‘I can’t fix it.’ You sign shakily, fingers fumbling over each other.

“I’ll take a look at it. And if it’s not fixable, I can just get you a new one.” It dawns on you that Levi doesn’t understand, and you’re not certain if he ever did.

‘I’m not talking about the necklace, Levi!’ You’re in the middle of the sidewalk slamming your hands together as people rush past you two. As always, it feels as if it’s just you and Levi and everyone else are blurring streaks in the background. This time, it doesn’t feel as pleasant.

He doesn’t say anything back, choosing to stare with his lips parted as if he wanted to.

‘Why won’t you just talk to me? I thought you trusted me with yourself.’

“I do. Trust you, I mean.”

‘Then talk to me!’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘Right.’ You don’t give Levi a chance to refute as you turn around swiftly and start off in the direction of the condo, head hung low as you do your best to sniffle quietly. Fortunately, no one looks your way as you shuffle down the sidewalk.

Different layers of pain pile on your shoulders and you’re not sure how you’re going to get out from under them. The worst of them all seems to seep into your heart in a heavy way, weighing you down so much that you’re surprised you make it back to the elevator of the condo without collapsing. When the doors shut in front of you, you allow yourself to finally fall apart like you’ve been wanting to all day, sobs racking from deep within your chest.

.

The moment you get into the bedroom, you slam the door behind you and prep for bed. The lingering sunlight filters through the room, painting the room gold. You didn’t care what time it was, you just knew you were ready to pass out from the day.

As you loosen your hair from the multitude of pins sticking in it, you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Your eyes are bloodshot, the skin around them puffy. At least you don’t have to do much since your tears broke down most of the makeup already, only needing the gentle swipe of a cloth. The moment after you slip on your sleepwear, you toss yourself into the soft sheets of your temporary bed and curl in on yourself.

The hurt from last night comes back tenfold. Only this time, frustration burns under your skin. Before you know it, nightmares come to you in the form of dark slate grays.

The next time your eyes open, they’re met with darkness. You’re not sure if the moon decided to stay away or if the clouds had rolled in during your slumber, but regardless your vision is pitch-black. Soft snoring to your right indicates that Hange had made it back and is currently deep in sleep. You vaguely recall hearing them calling out to you when they came back shortly after you fell asleep.

Rolling onto your back, you are greeted with the dim red light from the alarm clock illuminating the ceiling. You imagine it’s quite late in the night considering how refreshed you feel despite the lingering melancholy from dinner.

With a huff, you sit up and swing your legs off the bed. Your bare feet hit the cool, hard floor and you make quick yet quiet work of sneaking out of the bedroom. You know Hange could sleep through anything, but you did not want to suffer on the off-chance they woke up – you were not prepared to face them right now.

After closing the bedroom door, you pad over to the fridge and pull it open. The only drink options were a couple of beers and a handful of caffeinated sodas. You wish you had a cup of Levi’s tea in your hands, but instead you opt for water from the filtered pitcher. After taking a tentative sip of it, you decide that going back to sleep was not an option for you. You kick yourself for potentially screwing up your sleep schedule for the rest of the trip but that was a problem for future you.

With a cold glass in hand, you step over to the plush couch and sink into it. Grabbing the remote in the other, you turn it on and flinch as you’re met with a loud commercial about an action movie coming out soon. Quickly, you turn the volume down to one and sit still as you listen for any sounds of your roommates – luckily it stays silent. You sigh softly.

You pull over a blanket from the other side of the couch and tuck yourself in. You let your mind wander for a bit as a random movie starts to play, the low volume buzzing in the background. Thankfully, your thoughts stay away from Levi. That is, until you watch as a teacup is placed down on the glass coffee table in front of you with a clink as well as delicate fingers pulling away from the handle.

Blinking the glassiness from your vision, your eyes trail up the muscular arm that belongs to a weary-eyed Levi. His gaze shifts away quickly as he lowers himself on the other side of the couch as far as possible from you. He lifts his own teacup to his lips and takes a small sip, eyes forward on the movie ahead.

He doesn’t say anything to you, which you’re not certain if you should be grateful for, or annoyed. You were thinking about wanting some of his tea earlier, but now that it’s here, you’re torn between indulging him or not. As your eyes narrow on the steam that rises off the amber liquid, Levi pipes up finally.

“I didn’t poison it, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He mumbles. You flicker your eyes over to him, but his gaze stays glued to the TV in front.

You let out a soft huff and reach for it, taking the handle in between two fingers and pulling it up to your mouth. Upon the first sip, you withhold a sigh of content. Levi always knew how to make a mean cup of tea. But you won’t say that to him right now. You’re still fuming, tea or no. With that thought, you down it the best you can despite the scorching heat of it as it burns itself down to the pit of your stomach.

You stand when you’ve finished, placing the cup back onto the saucer and then turning around to fold the blanket back up. The space is turning tense by the second and you don’t want to deal with this right now. After placing the blanket on the armrest, you reach down to grab your tea set as well as Levi’s, but his hand stops you as his fingers close around your wrist once again.

“Stay. Please? I want to talk.” You side eye him, noting the nervousness in his eyes. If it wasn’t for that, you would have stormed off. For once, it seems Levi is ready to talk, and whether you were ready or not, you needed to listen.

Setting the saucers back down, you sit on the other side of the couch again, facing him with your arms placed over your chest. Only now do you realize you’re still in a nightgown that barely covers your ass and no bra. Trying to be natural about it, you grab the pillow that sits in the middle of the cushion and pull it to your chest to cover up.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?” He rubs the back of his neck as he watches you. His anxiety looks like it’s about to overflow.

‘Is that really all you want to talk about? Small talk?’

“No! Of course not.” He grumbles. He mirrors you, folding his arms across his chest. He’s getting defensive again.

‘Then what do you want?’ You click your tongue in annoyance.

“I don’t know wha-…” He falters.

‘You do know what you want. You just won’t say it.’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘But you know, don’t you? What is holding you back? What is making this so difficult for you to talk to me?’ Your signs come out more forceful than you meant.

His arms fall into his lap as his focus darts to the tv off to the side. You eye him warily and purse your lips while you wait for him to continue, which he does after sighing heavily in frustration.

“I’m afraid, okay? I’ve never felt so conflicted about stuff like this before. But I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you all day. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, I just didn’t know how to face you. Or what to even say to you.”

“I’m sorry.” he says quietly, shifting his gaze back to your face.

The look in his eyes is chock-full of anxiety and panic. Your fingers are flying before you can stop them. The strong walls of anger you had put up for protection start crumbling away, making room for disappointment as well as regret for making him feel this way.

‘I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry to have caused you so much strife.’ You bite the inside of your cheek.

Levi scoffs at that, his gray eyes cutting over to you, narrowing. He doesn’t say anything right away, instead using this moment to shift on the couch until his knees are against his chest as he faces you a couple feet away. 

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispers finally, dark eyes piercing into yours.

‘You’ve been brushing me off all day. It’s because I kissed you when I shouldn’t have. You hate me. And you regret it even now.’ You feel the tears from earlier start to well again, but you refuse to let them spill in front of Levi.

“Why would I hate you?”

‘I just feel like I ruined our friendship with my actions, and you wouldn’t talk to me about it so I also feel like you want nothing to do with me because of it.’

“I don’t hate you.” He mutters, eyes shifting away before jumping back to yours. “I could never hate you.”

‘Then why won't you talk to me?’

Levi gets up abruptly and starts pacing back and forth in front of you with his shaky fingers raking through his hair. The anxiety radiating off him is palpable.

“It’s hard to put into words.” Levi says simply. A scowl appears as he pinches the bridge of his nose between fingers. He continues to pace, eyes half closed as he mutters to himself. You hear something about ‘not being used to this’ and ‘being blindsided’.

You lean forward and grab his pant leg with tight fingers. His sweatpants’ waistband slides down his hip from the sudden force of your grip, immobilizing him unless he wanted them pulled down any further. His steely eyes snap to your troubled expression and he softens immediately, hands dropping to his sides.

‘Just try.’ You give him your best pleading eyes, bottom lip jutting out as far as it can go.

Levi side eyes you as you hold him in place, his lips pinched into a thin line. He opens his mouth as he attempts to figure out what he wanted to say next. It takes a few tries but eventually, he settles on the last thing you’d expected him to say. It’s like his naturally stoic demeanor melts into something completely unrecognizable – not like you were complaining.

“When you kissed me, it was like I understood everything and nothing at the same time. I was so confused.” Levi mutters under his breath, sitting back down on the couch but this time on the cushion closest to you. His thigh brushes up against your knees, sending tingles up your spine from the sudden contact.

“Ever since you’ve stumbled back into my life, I couldn’t understand why you were always on my mind. I think I do now.” He continues without missing a beat. “I think I’ve always cherished you in some capacity, just in different stages.” Levi places his face in his hands that were propped up against his knees. After a few seconds, his head turns to you with a familiar expression. The way he looks at you reminds you of the little boy next door all those years ago.

“Leeeeeviii!!” You yell as you bound down the front steps without a care in the world. Your brother and Levi currently sit on the lawn, messing around with their action figures who were currently in a heated battle. In your excitement, you completely miss the bottom step and stumble down onto your hands and knees, rough concrete digging into your skin.

The wails that come out of you are loud enough that the dogs across the street start barking. A pair of hands are on you in an instant, helping to pull you up and onto the bottom step that had caused you so much trouble in the first place.

“I’ll go get some bandages.” Your brother says in a panic, running up the stairs and back in the house you had just come out of.

“You’re okay, it’s just some scratches.” You look up through blurry lashes to see Levi staring at your bleeding knees. You’re not going to bleed out, but crimson is trickling down your legs and it’s enough to make you cry harder.

Levi takes your little hands into his slightly bigger ones and inspects them. He brushes off the small gravel that had embedded itself into your skin, his tongue stuck between his teeth in focus. You observe him as best as you can despite the salty water obscuring your vision. Levi’s eyelashes flutter across his cheeks as he turns your hands over to get a better look at them.

“Not cut, just a little dirty. Nothing that can’t be fixed.” He says softly to you. Blue-gray eyes look up into yours and you realize you stopped crying. He offers you a lopsided grin as he squeezes your hand a few times.

“See? Not broken. You’ll be okay.”

He was always so calm with you. You shoot him a toothy grin while squeezing his hand back a few times. So calm. So safe.

“Levi, I’m never letting you go.”

You laugh at the sudden memory that flashes before your vision. You’re grateful for Levi in many ways, despite the fact he made you mad sometimes. Memory recovery was one of the reasons why. Levi’s eyes widen at your sudden outburst.

“What?”

‘Remember when I ate shit outside of my house when we were kids?’

He hesitates as he thinks.

“Which time?” His lips twitch at his comment and you realize it probably wasn’t the first time you had fallen. You appreciate your resilient nature as a kid, taking note of the small scars that probably decorated your knees even to this day.

‘Levi, I think there’s always been a part of me that’s always felt safe with you. And, I think having a future without you in it, no matter what that means, isn’t something I want to see. So, I think that’s why I was so torn up about this. The idea of you leaving just tears me apart.’

Levi sits up at your confession, staring at you in curiosity. There’s a new look of assurance on his face as he eyes you. A pink flush creeps up his neck and into his cheekbones as he focuses back on the colorful screen ahead.

“I don’t have any plans to leave.” He mutters.

There’s more silence, only cut up by the voices on the television and distant crashing of waves from down below. You watch him closely as he blinks slowly, propping his chin up in both arms that sit against his thighs. Before you can sign again, he speaks softly.

“I don’t regret it.” He side-eyes you, as if he were afraid to face you for such a statement.

‘What do you mean you don’t regret it?’

“It means I don’t regret that you kissed me.”

‘Did you want me to kiss you?’

Silence.

“You should probably get some sleep. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as exhausting. We can talk more then.” Levi says quietly, changing the subject.

You narrow your eyes at him, annoyed he would close up after so much progress. But then a yawn so big escapes your mouth and you shove your face into the pillow you were still hugging until it’s done. When you look back up, you see Levi watching you in amusement before his expression changes into indifference quickly. Maybe this would be best saved for the next day when you were both awake.

‘What about you?’

“I don’t sleep much, you know that. I’ll be okay.” He shrugs his shoulders as he gets up from the sofa. He reaches for the remote and turns off the tv then carefully places it back on the coffee table. Then he turns around to offer you a hand which you take, still hugging the pillow to your chest. He raises an eyebrow at that but turns on his heel to head to his bedroom. With a soft sigh, you place the pillow back and follow him down the hallway to your room.

The need to figure out what was going through his mind was strong, but your exhaustion hits harder. As you pass the kitchen, you note the time was about to hit five in the morning which means you have been up for a while. Despite the amount of sleep from earlier, you feel your body giving in to the heaviness of fatigue – no doubt a consequence of having such a taxing day.

You watch as Levi stops outside of his door, right hand gripping the doorknob in white knuckles. As you pass him, you reach over and place your hand on top of his. When his eyes fall on you, you offer a small smile.

 ‘What’s wrong?’

Before you can pull away, Levi says your name and stares over at you with longing.

“What am I to you?”

With shaky hands, you sign back, ‘What would you like to be, Levi?’ Adrenaline courses through your veins like lava at the sudden question.

“Yours.” It’s so soft, barely audible. And yet so full of conviction.

Levi looks down at your lips quickly before jumping back up to your eyes. In a swift motion, he releases the doorknob and grabs your hand, pulling you in closer to him with sudden force. His gaze is as firm as the grip on you, holding you in place. When he speaks again, his words come out measured.

“You’re right, I do know what I want. My answer is yours. I want to be yours.”

Your eyes widen at the sudden confession, and you stare at him with your lips parted in surprise. As if time slowed down, just like in the elevator, Levi tilts your chin in his direction - pinching it gently between his thumb and index finger. He leans in slowly, his eyes staring into yours as he wavers inches away. Levi is so close to you that his hot breath hits your face, and you smell hints of his black tea and traces of pine.

“And I want to kiss you. Is that okay?” You nod, dazed by his proximity.

Carefully, his mouth meets yours and you instantly distinguish the difference between this kiss and the one in the elevator. This one is hesitant, nervous. But traces of ravenous hunger linger as an aftertaste.

That same heat blazes from your face all the way down to your toes. Levi’s fingers move from your chin to right under your jaw, tilting your face into him even more. After a moment, he breaks away granting you a moment to catch your breath. His face is still inches from yours, gray eyes fluttering closed as your forehead rests against his. Your name tumbles out of his mouth, almost like a beg.

“I need to know.” He pulls away from you, the air around you instantly turning cold from the lack of his presence. “Will you let me?”

‘Let you what, Levi?’ You know what he wants, but you just want to hear him say it again. And again and again and again.

“Let me be yours.” Your smile would have blinded the whole world.

‘Mine.’

He leans in again, cupping your whole face in his calloused hand and locking his lips back over yours. The hunger intensifies just like the buzzing throughout your whole system. You open your mouth slightly to let his tongue in to explore and it does, eliciting a quiet moan from you. You swear you hear Levi growl in response. Oh, how touch starved you two were for each other.

As if in sync, Levi opens the bedroom door and you both stumble still lip-locked into his room. He pushes you up against the door, shutting it behind you. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss, you would have been worried by how loud the slam must have been. Levi presses up against you more, sandwiching you between the heat of his body and the cool wooden door behind you. You already feel how hard he is under his sweatpants.

You’re more inexperienced than most so there’s hesitation in your kiss – something Levi picks up on quickly. He pulls away but leaves his hands on your face as he looks at you with apprehension.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to tonight.” He whispers to you. His voice is as sincere as it always is, albeit husky. You place a hand over his that sits on your face, leaning into it as you do before signing back.

‘I want all of you.’ You offer a loving smile, wide and full of adoration for the man in front of you. Levi’s eyes bounce back and forth between yours as if searching for something. He finds nothing but pure truth.

Levi’s lips crash back onto yours, careful but just as heated. As his marred lips leave and make their way down your neck, one of your hands slides up his chest to his undercut until your fingers find what they were looking for, tangling in his raven hair.

The moment you feel his teeth pinch your soft skin, another moan comes out louder than before. Having him pressed up against you like that, the outline of his cock pressing into your stomach, you start to feel your patience slowly unraveling.

Your nervousness flies out the window. This was Levi, you had no reason to worry. Levi is safe to you. He would take care of you as he always does. And you would do the same. The thought makes you smile up at the ceiling. Before you know it, your hands push against Levi’s soft skin, and he pulls away quickly. Worry pools into his dark eyes as he watches you carefully.

“Is everything okay?” He murmurs hoarsely.

Instead of signing back, you force him to step back towards the bed with your palm pressed against his chest until the back of his knees hit the edges of the mattress. The force alone makes him lurch back so that he falls back onto the soft duvet, catching himself on his hands so that he’s sitting up.

In a swift motion, you straddle his hips, and your lips find solace on his mouth yet again. You don’t hesitate to push your tongue through to taste him again, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing yourself into him more.

You don’t mean to, but you find your hips grinding on to him, the only barriers between your already soaked self and Levi being the clothes you wish were off. The pressure and friction against your very sensitive core make you pull away for breath. Levi’s soft grunts are music to your ears and his lips start trailing back down your neck, his teeth finding purchase in your soft skin yet again. His fingers slide up your back, pulling your night dress up with it.

Then a groan comes out of his clenched teeth, full of frustration.

Levi pulls away again and stares up at you with heavy-lidded eyes full of impatience. You note that pink flush of his that you love so much, deeper in color and painting across his cheeks. As you stare down at him, you come to love this version of Levi and you want nothing but to see his face contort at the way you grinded into him. But he places his hands on your hips to keep you still, much to your dismay. You watch him carefully as he speaks, his voice husky.

“I-uh. I want this, I do. But we need to be safe. And I didn’t bri-“ He averts his gaze, staring at the corner of the bed. You were so lost in the exhilaration of it all, you didn’t think about it. A thick appreciation for him crashes over you because his cautious nature, even if it did slightly kill the heat of the moment.

‘Give me a second. I can help with this. Stay here.’ You give him a chaste kiss before sliding off his lap and out the door quickly. You tiptoe your way back to your room, making sure the only sounds that can be heard are the clock ticking on the wall and the muffled continuous crashing of waves just outside.

When you slip into your room, you see Hange flat on their back with their hair tousled everywhere. Soft snores escape their lips, a telltale sign they are out like a light. Hange wasn’t promiscuous in the slightest, but they weren’t closed minded either. And with that, it meant they stayed prepared.

You creep over to their unorganized suitcase where clothes were strewn all over the place. Reaching into the top compartment, your fingers feel the sharp edges of a foil package and slip it out. You blush to yourself as you think back to Levi’s outline as you make sure it’s the right size.

A snort from behind you makes you freeze in place, breath hitched as you sit crouching in silence. A moment passes. Another minute. Hange’s snores fill the room again and you let loose your held breath, shoulders sagging. You’re sure this conversation would come up again later, but you didn’t want to deal with it right now. Especially with Levi waiting for you.

It takes you next to no time to slip out of your room and back into Levi’s, closing his door with a soft click. Turning around, you show him the condom in between pinched fingers and smile widely to Levi who was still sitting on the edge of the bed for you.

“Did you come prepared?” He raises an eyebrow at the glittering foil.

‘No, but Hange do-‘

“I don’t need to know any more.” Levi blurts out, hands up in defeat. A silent laugh shakes your shoulders as you make your way back over to him. You fling the package onto the bed before straddling him again, noting how hard he was underneath you still.

‘Now where were we?’ You sign with a small smile. Levi smirks and places his hand against your cheek, his thumb tracing your bottom lip gently. You playfully nip at him, and he huffs in amusement.

“You’re breathtakingly beautiful, you know that?” He asks you softly before pulling your face into his and locking his lips on yours. It’s a saccharine-laced kiss. His hands find your hips again, lowering until they are fully on your ass, and they squeeze. A squeak escapes into his mouth as he does, and it just makes his grip on your skin tighter.

Pulling away, you grip his t-shirt from the bottom and start tugging it up. Levi leans back so you can pull it up and over his head, discarding it on the bed next to him. Your hands trail down his toned chest and abs, his skin burning under your touch. It’s soft despite the hard muscles underneath them. Your mouth finds his again as your hands explore, not hesitating to slip your tongue into Levi’s already parted lips.

Your hands find their way back in his hair, fingers entwining through the fine strands. You can’t help it – you tug gently, and a small whine comes out of his pouty lips as he’s pulled away from your mouth. Something inside you burns and again you feel your razor thin patience cutting at you. 

As if Levi reads your mind, he wraps an arm around your back while leaving his other hand cupping your ass and stands up effortlessly. In a mere moment, he turns around with you in his strong arms and then gently tosses you on to the bed. A soft laugh escapes you as you land. Everything around you smells like Levi.  

Levi stands at the foot of the bed and stares down at you ravenously, a look you don’t think you’ve ever seen on anyone outside of the movies on your television screen. You sit up on your elbows and watch as he gets on the bed and slowly makes his way on top of you. He meets your lips with his own as his body hovers over yours, his fingers lightly trailing up your arms resulting in goosebumps following in their wake.

Slowly, you lie back down flush to the mattress, his knees digging into the sheets on either side of your thighs. Levi’s lips start to slide down your jaw which gives you some space to breathe but your breaths quickly turn into soft whimpers as his fingers lightly trace across your lower abdomen. His other hand snakes around the back of your neck, supporting it as he starts planting more soft kisses down it.

 “You can stop me at any time, okay?” Levi whispers, his hot breath tickling your neck. You nod, only wishing you had your voice to say his name and tell him you wanted him. As long as he was with you, you would always want him.

Levi’s hand that was teasing your waist makes its way back up to the lacy lining that adorns the edge of your nightdress, long fingers tugging down the thin fabric that holds your breasts in place. You’re glad Levi isn’t watching your face because you are multiple shades of embarrassment.

But Levi doesn’t say anything, instead he takes a breast in hand and massages it gently as his kisses start trailing down past your collarbone. Before you know it, his soft lips clamp around your already very sensitive nipple, eliciting a loud moan from you. You can’t help but dig your nails into the firm muscles of his back in response, dragging them down as Levi bites down gently. An exhale of hot air blows out of Levi’s mouth against your skin when you do that, a small grunt escaping with it.

You feel the absence of his lips immediately as his lips leave and the wetness left behind leaves your skin defenseless against the cool air. Levi softly kisses back up your sternum then pulls away, leaning forward on both hands that now sit on each side of your face. His tousled hair falls forward, creating shadows across his face as he stares down with that same hungry look, only this time it’s tinted with pure amazement.

“Still okay?” He whispers down to you.

You blink up at him and swallow hard. You were more than okay but as always, your words fail you. Instead, you nod and the hands that once dragged down his back are now trailing down his chest again. The feeling of his skin against yours sends electricity through your whole body, and you want more. You need more. Your hands flatten against right above his rapidly beating heart as you do your best to give him a look that conveys ‘more’.

“I’ve got you.” Those were the words he had muttered down to you the day before as you fell asleep in his arms on the beach. It wasn’t just cherishment that he held for you; it was deeper than that. Hange’s words from earlier flit through your mind, only briefly. How could you not have fully noticed until now?

He leans down and places his lips back on yours, soft and sweet. As your lips lock on to his, you feel his feather light touch trace back down to the elastic band of your underwear. But instead of teasing you like he had before, you feel his fingers dip under the cloth and further down to…

Any other thoughts racing through your mind cease to exist as his delicate fingers slide down your slick folds. You don’t mean to moan as loud as you do and fortunately Levi’s mouth muffles it for you. He hums in response to your reactions, smiling into the kiss.

Levi’s lips graze back down to just under your ear as his fingers rub small circles around your clit eliciting more moans from you. Your labored breaths fill the space as the white-hot heat from his touch reverberates throughout your whole body, tingling down to the tips of your toes. He whispers your name under a heavy breath, mutterings of how beautiful you are to him floating up to your ear. All sweet words mirror the moans you made.

You reach down to Levi’s hardened bulge that currently fights against the stretched fabric of his joggers. Your fingers close around him as much as they can through the thick cloth. Upon contact, Levi’s breath hitches. You give him a gentle squeeze resulting in a guttural groan that comes through his clenched teeth.

In response, his touch burns deep into your core as he carefully pushes a digit into your warm entrance, the palm of his hand applying pressure onto your swollen clit as he does. His movements are gentle as he pumps it in and out slowly, and you feel his finger curving up into a spot so good your toes curl. The euphoria turns into building heat, and you know what’s about to happen - but you wanted more. You wanted him now more than ever and this was not enough. More, more, more.

A soft whine comes out of you as your fingers tighten around him. A light huff tickles against your skin – Levi’s way of chuckling.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” He mumbles, his lips finding your earlobe and nipping at it gently. Reaching over with your other hand, you place your hand against his cheek and pull him up to you, planting your lips right onto his. It’s a hungry kiss, one conveying you were ready for him. You love him, you want him. You need him.

With that, Levi withdraws his hand and slides himself off you and the bed. You sit up and watch as he tugs down his pants along with his boxers. You knew what was coming and yet you couldn’t stop the blood rushing to your cheeks in shy embarrassment. You look away, staring at the ceiling as you hear Levi pick his clothes up including the shirt you threw on the bed, and then place them neatly on the dresser behind him. Your name quietly tumbles out his lips for your attention.

When you look up at him, you see him offering a hand to you. Your eyes flicker down for a mere second before going back up to Levi’s soft gaze. You feel as if you could faint on the spot.

Instead, you push yourself closer to the edge of the bed and take Levi’s hand. In a delicate flourish, you’re in his arms again and he pulls you in for another deep, lingering kiss. His fingers bunch at the bottom of your night dress and start lifting it up. You let him, pulling away enough so he can get the soft fabric up and over your head. He folds it and turns to place it next to his pants. When he circles back on you, he takes a moment to observe your half-naked self.

Being in your thin bathing suit was one thing, but to be standing there as the cool air conditioning drifted across your unprotected self was in a whole other universe. You shift your weight awkwardly and twist your arms together as you avert your gaze to the piled-on dresser.

Levi steps closer to you and takes both of your arms in a gentle grip and pulls them away from each other so that you’re exposed to him. You force your gaze on him despite how nervous you were to be in front of him. Levi’s dark eyes trail down your body but not in an ogling kind of way – he watches you with wonder.

“You’re just so beautiful. Every part of you.” He releases your arms, and his hands are back on you, sliding down your waist and landing on your hips. His fingers leave a trail of tingles. “I want you, all of you. If you’ll have me. Is that okay?” He whispers to you, pulling you by the hips into him. The length of his hardened self presses against your bare stomach as he does.

You sign that same simple word, ‘Mine’.

With that, Levi gently pushes you down into the bed with a hard kiss, leaning into you until your back is pressed against the mattress. He loops his fingers into the sides of your panties and tugs them down your legs, pulling away from you yet again to place them next to the rest of the discarded clothes. At that moment, he takes the time to rip a corner off the metallic package with his teeth, the foil discarded onto the dresser once done.

He grabs your hips again, this time pulling you flush to the edge of the bed as he stands at the foot of it. His hand makes its way to your thigh and his perfectly trimmed nails press into your soft skin as he holds you close. The tip of his cock teases your entrance and if you had a voice, you would have begged for it. As usual, you didn’t have to.

Levi leans down to you and kisses you slowly, teeth brushing against your swollen bottom lip. He places his other hand on the bed next to your head, using it to keep himself propped up. His hair hangs low as he hovers, already moist with sweat from the proximity and building body heat between the two of you. You use one hand to grip his forearm while the other hand slides up the back of his head and into his sweaty hair, fingers digging into his scalp. As the kiss deepens, so do his movements into you.

Levi slides himself in gently, using his hold on your thigh to control his speed. He lifts your leg up against his hip for a better angle but the sharp gasp from you stops Levi in his tracks. He stays there, feeling your warm walls hugging tightly around him.

He pulls away from the kiss and hovers over you again, looking down into your eyes with worry. It's been a while since you have been touched like this, let alone this intimate. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this loved. Levi makes this all so easy despite the anxious knot in your chest. You realize it isn’t just this that he makes easy, though. It’s everything around you. Every issue, every solution.

You imagine you’re looking at him just the same, a small smile etching into your flushed and hot face. Before he can ask again, you move your hand up and under his fingers that digs into the bed next to you. Lacing your fingers in with his, you squeeze his hand a few times.

A way to say you were okay and that you trusted him. And always would.

He looks down at you curiously but then realization dawns on him. His concern washes away to reveal his own version of adoration for you. It’s one of your favorite expressions on him by far.

In a breathless moan, Levi pushes himself all the way in. He presses his lips onto yours, muffling your moans that rise in volume as he slowly rocks into you. The hand he had on your thigh tightens as he pulls you into him more, quickening his pace slightly. The new angle hits a spot that almost puts you at the brink of finishing right then and there.

Levi lets go of your hand and moves his arm under your neck again, giving him the opportunity to trail his now sloppy kisses and teeth down it. Those razor-sharp teeth sink into your skin as one of his thrusts hit simultaneously. You bite into the back of your hand to keep yourself from wailing out and waking the rest of your roommates. The other hand that now sits against his sweaty chest digs into his skin, burying deeper with every thrust. It feels as if every part of your body burns like wildfire from his touch. Your name comes out in a groan this time, husky and deep.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful. You feel so good.” He buries his face into your collarbone as he moans your name again, shakily.

Levi thrusts soon become clumsy, feeling him slam into you inconsistently and with every hit comes more pressure against your clit. Heat builds into your core, the same as before. You’re pulling at his hair, in an attempt to warn him you were close. Throaty curses leave his lips as you both feel each other tense up.

In an instant, it’s like the world crumbles around you as you hit your limit. The walls surrounding Levi clenches as each wave of pleasure rolls through your whole system. Your orgasm sends Levi over the edge and in one deep thrust of his hips, you feel his body shudder as his moan almost turns into a whine. His teeth bite into you again as he rides through his own climax, filling up the condom within you.

Levi releases your leg and lets it fall gently against the bed before collapsing on top of you. He uses an arm to keep himself propped up enough to not suffocate you with his body weight. You focus on the heavy panting emanating from the both of you as you come down from your high. His heart beats in sync with your own against as he lays on top of you, digging his face into the crook of your neck.

You wrap your arms around his head and hold him close, despite the heat and sticky sweat between your bodies. Levi nuzzles his nose into sweaty soft skin and chuckles, low and hoarse. You both continue to lay like that until the breathing slows down to a normal pace. The next time he speaks, his voice is so soft and barely audible that you almost miss it.

“I love you too.”

☾ Previous Chapter: June - Part 3 ☾ Next Chapter: June - Part 5 [Final]

[mr-laveau]

20 Questions for Fic Writers Game

Tagged by a darling, @autisticempathydaemon! Thanks for the tag!

Tagging @agentplutonium because I wanna pull some SH style interrogative shenanigans/lh

1 - How many works do you have on AO3?

Seventeen, not a lot but it's to be expected somewhat I suppose since I'm busy writing NeXus.

2 - What's your total AO3 word count?

64,509-Oh look I beat Lexi/j/pos

3 - What fandoms do you write for?

Redacted mostly, I have some unreleased Castle Audios fics, an unfinished JJBA SDC fic to finish and a Scott Pilgrim fic to start.

4 - What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

#1 is an Ironpanther Marvel Fic of Avenger's Academy I have not touched in forever called "How Tony Stark landed a king and how T'Challa landed a genius". It was fun tho cuz my hc of T'Challa being demisexual was really well received to my knowledge. #2 is "Spitfire", which admittedly is a good FL/Damien fic and people should read it. #3 is "Ghost of the Past", my Sam/SH fic where they both used to be roommates in DUMP. #4 is "Friends...Am I right?" which was a really fun Darlin/Sam & BE+Fred fic. Finally, #5 is "Moments That Flash By" which is a really good Darlin/David fic for my soul.

5 - Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do respond when I remember...ADHD makes me do silly silly things like forget that stuff exists. I like comments and they let me know I'm doing s good job.

6 - What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Easy! "Shattered Glass Makes a Good Weapon" Gods, I love that fic so much. It was really fun for me to reach deep down and write Darlin and Quinn like that.

7 -What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhhhhh I dunno, probably a Marvel fic called "Crossing Buckies and Dotting Hawkeyes", I am a winterhawk girlie and I had fun writing that, others might think it's "Spitfire" or "Break time, Gorgeous" but subjectively, it's that fic.

8 - Do you get hate on fics?

If I have then I haven't seen it. I don't really engage much with fandom to care about hate comments because "haha, look at you getting mad over words about fictional characters kissing", like shut your goofy ass and move on.

9 - Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have but I'm not releasing it. I don't feel compelled to do it-mostly cuz it's for me and I like toying with the idea in my head and the people of my current fandom are not ready for the depravity I could unleash.

10 - Do you write crossovers?

No? I have ideated one but I'm still not sure if I want to do it.

11 - Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

12 - Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nuh uh.

13 - Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Uhhhh no but I have ideated with Lexi about one and I have been too busy to finish the first chapter.

14 - What's your all time favorite ship?

My redactedsona/redacted men What? who said that? It's Darlin/Sam/David/Angel/Damien/Asher/Baaabe/SH/Milo. It's my ship and yes, they're all poly, yes, they're a network and yes, I am happy with myself.

15 - What's a WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

"Platinum Portrait", It was an old JJBA fic with my OC/Jotaro and I really liked how it was going. Dunno, we'll see how it goes.

16 - What are your writing strengths?

I'm good at dialogue and characterization as well as pacing(?).

17 - What are your writing weaknesses?

Gore, writing long fics, Dead Dove Do Not Eats (I wanna do those at some point with Quinn or Hush OR Porter OR OR OR Imperium Vincent) I like dark shit, idk what to tell y'all and I wanna get better at exploring darker topics properly in my writing.

18 - Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Gods, I love doing it. If you've read "Break Time, Gorgeous" then I want you to know, I love you and it was fun as hell to write.

19 - First fandom you wrote for?

Marvel. Specifically it was my Ironpanther fic.

20 - Favorite fic you've written?

An unreleased Sam/Darlin smut fic where they fuck in an alleyway. I think it's fun.

[sleeplesslark]

Thanks for the tag, @mugsdontlie

Writing procrastination game!!!

1. What's the name of one of your Wips?

Loyalty's Price; Eternity, I have half a mind to name my next one something Fear and Hunger related.

2. Describe a Wip in the format of __+__=__

Uhhhh, I'll do a non-LP one since LP; Eternity is 1 chapter from being over. Modern AU+Genjutsu = a generally bad day.

3. What tags/warnings will one of your Wips need if you share it?

Usually violence and character death though I don't think any of them have been sad deaths so far.

As for tags.....Loyalty's Price; Reunion will have Urushi, so him?

4. Alternative title to a Wip?

God I wish. Loyalty's Price feels very generic. Uhhh, maybe "No Place Else you'd rather be" a line from Fences by Paramore. It has an irony I kind of like. Doesn't work well for subtitles though.

5. Which Wip are you most likely to update/finish next?

Loyalty's Price; Eternity. Editing the final chapter though it'll most likely be split in half.

6. What is one of your Wip's document title, not its name but what you have it saved as?

LP 3; CH 11; Try 2; D2 (I rewrote much of it)

7. Post any sentence from your Wip?

"He hoped someone else had to suffocate on this putrid victory."

8. A scrapped idea from your wip?

There's two whole scrapped scenes, one is of Kabuto having a nightmare that involves Nonou that's half a flashback if you wanna read it that way, and one is him and Sakura talking about death generally but about Sasori and Yoroi a bit.

9. What's a story you'd love to write but have yet to start?

I'd kinda like to do a "what if Naruto was on Team Kabuto" but I'm still not entirely sure how to tackle it.

Same with a "what if Nonou adopted Naruto and he and Kabuto were straight up brothers". I have ideas for it but they're pretty disconnected and more vibes than a plot. I don't write kids well.

Both are hard in part because idk how much canon divergence I'm comfortable with yet.

10. How many Wips are you actively working on?

1, probably will start something else when LP; Eternity is done

11. Is there a scene you're struggling to write right now?

Struggling to edit in general. The fic has caused a bit of a panic episode that I'm in treatment for. I don't want my mental health to take away something I was really enjoying though.

12. Not a question but a second kudos!

Tagging: @aceonice , @allalrightagain , @ao3dorian-gay , @myulalie , Uhhh @girl-with-goats if any of you want to.

[kinnbig]

My current WIPs, in the order I last looked at them and for which I have actually written something

thank you for tagging me @kimchaybrainrot I love u (also I am 👀 at all of those but especially the KenBig HI I'M LISTENING INTENTLY.)

Chart Topper chapter 7 (Arm) - I've been working on this today! I love the concept for this chapter and it's finally getting there 🥰

Burnout aka "phoenix fic" - ah yes. the KenBig wip that was supposed to be a lil 2-3k fic that only took a week or so to write... that is now sitting at 20k four months later and still isn't done. rip. I love it so much though, I'm so excited to be able to share this one

assorted kiss prompt ask game ficlets - whoops. TWO MONTHS AGO I did an ask game for fic prompts to try and get me out of my writer's block.. and it worked! I posted 6 kiss prompt ficlets! but uh. there are 11 more in various states of completion 💀 personal faves include some ArmTankhun, some fucked up KenBig, and some RamKing ft Ram wearing a skirt 👀

ArmKhun fake dating fic - one of my favourite fic concepts EVER that has sadly taken a backseat in my brain because of Chart Topper and Burnout. but SOON I will return to my beloved

f/f KimChay - uhhhh. this is just shameless femslash pwp because. I think they should have been lesbians.

Let Me Live in Your Mind chapters 3 & 4- this fic is not abandoned I promise I'm still working on it! I'm just. slow 🫣

Footnotes aka "the Big and Ken centric pain and sadness compilation" lmao - this was suuuuch a huge project for me that I started basically immediately after KinnPorsche ended that just. idk. it's so long. it's not abandoned but it's very much on the back-burner rn

there are also many many half-written oneshots in there that I didn't put in the list because they'll probably never get finished (RamKing fake dating au, ArmKhun fic where Khun kills Korn, a KimChay exes with benefits thing, etc etc...) I just hoard WIPs like a dragon in a cave I can't help it!

I think lots of people have already been tagged so sorry if this is a double tag! but I'm tagging @sidras-tak @giraffeter @tumsa @prismatic-witch @days-of-storm @cytharat @snickerdoodlles - but no pressure of course! 💖

[moriavis]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

I was tagged in this by @incorrectcoldflashblog on May 6th. /o\

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I'm absolutely about to age myself, but I had watched Gundam Wing and went searching for fic, only to find nothing written for the pairing I wanted. So I thought: Fine, guess I'll do it myself.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

IDK, 16? I think?

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I released my first fic in August of 2002. So 22 years now?

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I definitely read more fic than I write.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

Uhhhh. I think I've definitely improved my use of body language in stories. I've noticed a tendency to rely more on body language now than what the characters are actually thinking, and I can't decide if I like that development or not.

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

What haven't I researched at this point? I've researched the grotesque things, like murder and cannibalism, and I've also researched pirates and the Golden Age of Islam, which which was happening at the same time as Europe's Dark Ages. I've also read an incredible amount about poisons and diseases.

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

My favorite comments are when people pick up on foreshadowing and clues for something I have planned in a later chapter--especially if they're following along with each chapter and updating their guesses! It's for real the best thing about releasing long fic.

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

I genuinely have no idea. I don't think I've ever written anything particularly fringe? Correct me if I'm wrong and you know better@

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Long fic, for sure. If I start a story and I don't know how long it's going to be, I can handle it. If I start a project and know intrinsically that it's going to take a long time to finish? I get overwhelmed by how much work I have to do and start avoiding it. (Shout out to Resonance!)

10. What is the easiest type?

Prompts that involve a single scene or a single moment. That way I can create all the backstory in my head and I don't have to write it all down. LOL

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I do my fastest writing on my laptop, but the screen hurts my eyes and my cats always get curious about what I'm doing and knock things over. If I'm trying to get something down on a page, I'll grab one of my notebooks and handwrite. Doesn't give me a headache and I can at least get a basic idea down.

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

I don't think there's anything I've been too nervous to write. Resonance definitely intimidates me, but that's the only one.

13. What made you choose your username?

When I was a teenager, I was naming a character for a story... I think the name I chose was Autumn? And my mom was like: Why don't you name her something cooler, like Moriavis?

Which I loved. It was a long time before I realized I had basically named the character (and myself, once I got a livejournal) Dead Bird in Latin.

Tagging: @scheherezhad @saekhwa @kisahawklin @qlala @sproutwings

[kaviary-blog]

20 Q’s for Fic Writers

I got tagged by the wonderful @wedonthaveawhile

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

None. That might change soon. But I’ve got like 9 here on tumblr

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Zero

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently mostly Hogwarts Legacy but I’ve been writing little fics and stories since I was in elementary school

But to give a taste of what I did… when I was a small child I wrote a multi chapter story about fruit (fruit fandom was all the rage). I’ve written for Undertale, FNaF, Miraculous Ladybug, Mass Effect. Maybe more than I’m remembering and they will never see the light of day. (Most of what I wrote was original ideas instead of fanfic)

4. Top five fics by kudos?

Horrors of the Scriptorium parts 1&2, That Which Lurks Behind, Never Knew Her Name, After the Nightmare

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I try to and I love feedback and talking to people

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Pluv says Never Knew Her Name has the biggest gut punch but I write alot of angst so…. Idk

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

After The Nightmare. Kinda the only non angst fic I have and even then.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have

9. Do you write smut?

I have not

10. Craziest crossover?

Those exist solely in my brain and the ears of my sister

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I seriously doubt it

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Probably not

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really. I have characters I share with people. But even in my youth I don’t think I co-authored anything

14. All time favorite ship

SHAKARIAN!!! Garrus x Femshep

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

So so many. The amount of ideas that have barely even taken shape is a whole other list entirely

16. What are your writing strengths?

Tearing your heart out. Idk

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Fluff. Idk how to be happy

18. Thoughts of dialogue in a different language?

Super cool when done right! (Don’t ask me what that means. I’m not fluent in any other languages)

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Uhhhh. I think the first fic I ever wrote I was really little and it was about Rapunzel. (Her and her kids in the future and like, half of them died. Angst even back then)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ummm of the ones I’ve posted here…. I’m really proud of That Which Lurks Behind

But usually when I write something I forget I wrote it. I write bastard words with my evil fingers and make it everyone else’s problem.

No pressure tags: @cuffmeinblack, @eternalremorse, idk who else. Everyone I know has done it

[annanother-thing]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

@starquestingfordrarry ahhh thank you for tagging me, these are such good questions!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

41 +1 unrevealed +6 that ive hidden

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

238,631

3. What fandoms do you write for?

only harry potter atm but i have written other fandoms before and i am psyching myself up to write some pjo/hoo next year

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Best Kept - drarry, secret relationship, EWE, E, 7k

How Does Your Garden Grow - wolfstar, modern au, T, 1.6k (this was the first hp fic i ever wrote back in 2016!)

Sparks - drarry, soulmates au, secret relationship, E, 20k

White in the Darkness - wolfstar, established relationship, possessive!remus, E, 7k

Maybe Love Could Be A Verb - wolfstar, getting together, idiots to lovers, E, 16k (my first fic coming back to fandom last year!)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

not as much as i should... i hate replying to comments when my work is still anon and i swear this year all ive done is anon fests and then i forget to reply when reveals happen and then my inbox gets super full and i get overwhelmed...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oooh probably Invisible, Inescapable - ghost!reg, house magic, 16k, M - or Non-Existent Hearts Still Bleed - mostly canon compliant Pansy character study, 8k, M

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhh most of them? i dont tend to write sad things

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not so far!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes. all of it. mostly queer but i have done some m/f but mostly in triads and that one tomione dead dove. currently in the middle of kinktober so smut is on the brain

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

no theyve never been my vibe

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no thank god

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! well, someone asked, idk if they actually did it. it was my pansromione choir fic from pride fest

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

back in the day i co-wrote one with my then-best friend - i think it was the first fic i ever uploaded...

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

nope. impossible question. my ogs are wolfstar and drarry, but i also adore pansmione/pansromione, fleurinny, ginsy, jegulus, jegulily... so many ships so little time...

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i tried to do nano with original fiction several times and none of them really stuck, which im sad about because some of the ideas were banging - lesbian vampires through time, anyone?

16. What are your writing strengths?

ok this is the hardest question by far...

i think i am quite good at the introspection, and characters having to think through their situations, figure out how they actually feel. i blame all the therapy...

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

confidence and run on sentences. i was editing a fic yesterday and found a sentence that was nearly half a page...

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i dont mind it, but i think it has to fit the story. but one of my pet peeves is when people but dialogue in another language and then put the translation in the chapter notes - i have a goldfish brain and by the time i get to the end of the chapter i have forgotten what the dialogue was about

19. First fandom you wrote for?

kingsman back in like 2014/5

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

dont make me choose between my babies! maybe the one that i cant talk about yet (i feel its the most up to date representation of my writing at the moment), maybe my wolfstar witcher!au (longest uploaded fic, and i really struggled to finish it but im so proud of myself for getting there), maybe my soulmate fest one (i was so not happy with it but everyone seemed to like it and it reminds me that i am my own worst critic)

Tagging: @gloivy @uncannycerulean @silently--here @tracingpatternswrites <3

[blurglesmurfklaine]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

gonna unofficially thank @forabeatofadrum for this tag bc she said whoever wanted to do it and I wanted to so here it be!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

49??? What when how did that happen??

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

706,964 woah so not quite a million but uh I have shit to say apparently

3. What fandoms do you write for?

46 of the 49 fics are glee lmaooo, two are Newsies and one is Roswell, New Mexico! I anticipate more Newsies (Javid) fics to come because I’m obsessed

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

There From The Start

Cornelia Street

Here We Go Again

An Honest Man

If Music Be

All for Glee: Klaine!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to respond to as many as I can, but I usually forget lol. If someone leaves an insightful comment though it will usually spur a long conversation in the comments and I LOVE IT

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

If The World Was Ending bc they uh :) die, technically speaking

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhhh probably every other one??? I really don’t like sad endings so most have a happy ending, but i actually really like the ending to Stick Season because despite it being so terribly emotional and angsty, I feel like the ending is a turnaround and really hopeful!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really? A few annoying comments telling me characters wouldn’t act this way, and one asking me “where my creativity was” which rubbed me the wrong way but I try to focus on the positive ones! Those definitely linger in my mind longer 💞

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Don’t look at me. Yes. Sometimes. Idk man sometimes those dudes just need to fuck it out???? But I usually only write it if the story feels like it’s naturally going there. It’s never really porn for porn’s sake (for clarification there’s nothing wrong with that we all love a little pwp), it’s usually the sappy emotional kind that’s mostly feelings and vague descriptions. it’s definitely not my forte and something I still get a little embarrassed and self conchas about lmao

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not recently but I did have a Supernatural/Glee crossover a few years ago (shut up I was 16) and honestly it was loads of fun! Blaine was the child of that Gay Angel and Repressed Bisexual Man. Absolutely a slay

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so? But a few old ones from my fanfiction dot net page ended up on one of those search engine thingies??? Idk how to explain it or how to take it down but honestly… I have bigger problems lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but if anyone ever wants to let me know!!! It would make me so happy!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah! Quite a few actually. I usually do the franken-fic every year and I did the roulette challenge and that m aforementioned crossover was actually a collab! Some of my favorite memories was writing the final chapter of A Night At The Ryerson House with @esperantoauthor 💞

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

OOF. Okay so. With 46 fics on AO3 you could say Klaine has a special place in my heart, buuuuuuut…….. my best friend introduced me to newsies in April and I seriously think it did something to my brain chemistry because Jack and Davey own my entire ass

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ugh. I’m so fearful that I’ll never finish Amidst The Chaos, which I LOVE but takes so much out of me. There’s also one I’ve never posted called “Strangers Again” that involves like timeline jumping but in a romcom way that I’m not sure how to go about??? Also the community college one. I have so many.

For Javey I tried writing that Spider-Man AU but like. I need to re do the entire first chapter. I absolutely hate it actually and I think it’s because I don’t have a clear vision of what exactly I want, but I know what I DO NOT want????

16. What are your writing strengths?

Uhhhhhhhhhhh I’m actually not sure entirely? I’m gonna go with dialogue bc that’s usually how scenes come to me first.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Scenery/setting/sensory, world building, plot points, physical movement holy fuck do not get me started when That Guy has to move Across The Room AHHHHHH I wanna tear my face off

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Love it! In my brain Jack Kelly is Mexican because I love to project, and I’ve got a wip where Blaine is involved in a Hispanic community (no he’s mot Hispanic he’s just got a Mexican friend who is an old lady and also Catholicism is involved it’s a lot to explain okay go with it) so I like to use it, but only in a way that feels natural to ME based on MY experiences. Different people have different approaches!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Glee!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Oof. This one is hard but I think it’s an even tie between Here We Go Again and If Music Be!

Tagging: @somefeministtheatrepls @somanywords @justgleekout @kurtsascot and anyone else who wants to try!