#unfortunately all their interactions are like catnip to me

[reginashorsepainting]

Never not rotating them in my mind

Ahhhh, Kaga arc. Truly the gift that keeps on giving.

That time Samura woke up and went "hm. I cast romcom tropes"

I don't even have words, though Anotsu has them aplenty

[jesncin]

Hellblazer for Kids

I've already talked before about how a tonally authentic Hellblazer middle grade (or YA for that matter) isn't impossible at all once you recognize kids stories can actually cover a wide breadth of heavy topics too. I believe that even a character like John Constantine, whose "origin story" happens in Newcastle when he's more grown, still has stories to tell that precede that event.

Understand that “The Mystery of The Meanest Teacher- a Johnny Constantine Graphic Novel” went for the most commercially safe approach to "Kids' Hellblazer" for a lot of marketing and business reasons (kids horror graphic novels are a tough sell unless tied to a bestseller IP like fnaf/goosebumps, so they focused on humor, an american school setting, a Bailey School Kids or Teacher From the Black Lagoon approach, got a big name writer etc. they also went for the DCSHG approach where they basically shrunk John Constantine into a kid instead of talking about his childhood) but you don't need, like, sex/gore/swearing in order to tell a tonally authentic Hellblazer kids graphic novel.

Here, let me- a published middle grade graphic novel author- pitch you a "kids Hellblazer story" for fun:

John and Cheryl Constantine are sent to boarding school, think an oppressive setting like Miss Trunchbull's school in Matilda but with the whimsy of a haunted location like a manor by the sea. John and his sister have to take care of themselves but also uncover a nefarious occult plot orchestrated by the school principal- like a Series of Unfortunate Events vibe. John leads the charge and gets into trouble while Cheryl foils him as the one who "just wants to be a normal school kid". These two and their bond are the heart of the story as siblings who survived abuse together.

Add in John's ghost baby brother the Golden Boy haunting him as survivor twin angst. John notices the Golden Boy interacting with the ghosts of students who have long haunted the place (like Coraline [we don't acknowledge that author] missing ghost children, they have a terrifying quality like missing eyes or something to give the kids and their parents' nightmare fuel) and investigates.

There will be this overall theme of the principal allegorizing people in power abusing children to keep their systemic power, and framing marginalized people as unsafe to kids. Have a classic Hellblazer character like Ray Monde be a librarian (this will act as Hellblazer purist fans catnip or at least catnip to me) who John considers the only safe adult he can trust. All the kids and even adults spread rumors that Ray is a creep, but he's actually the kindest person there. Miss Honey type but drag queen.

John can have messy queer feelings like having a crush on a bully or whatever and Ray can be a guiding force that helps him figure stuff out. And probably say something gay that will get your book banned (is it a Hellblazer book if it isn't challenging society in some way)? Cheryl gets wrapped up in the occult plot as a victim and John has to save her.

It'll be a difficult read for how it talks about dark and mature topics (grief, abuse, internalized queer self hatred, etc.) while also being adventurous and fun. I can easily make you cry from a story like this.

[bitethedevil]

What do you like about the character of Raphael ?

A Feral Love Letter to the Devil We Know

Oh boy. Here’s my list of why Raphael is like catnip to me (it’s not short and it is possibly a bit extra deranged because I am currently sick).

Purely physical things that convince me that this man was made for me in a lab:

Brown eyes and dark hair has always been my type

The slight stubble and those cheekbones (generally just his whole facial structure is beautiful)

The fucking n o s e <3 <3

Those thick thighs (perfectly sittable and bitable). He is just perfectly shaped.

Those hands he waves in your face all the time and those long fingers (does things to me)

His clothes. Yes, even in cambion form and even the silly clown boots, I love them. It is just all too extra, and I live for it

Everything about his cambion form

I have this crazy theory. There has been made these studies that depending on hormone levels, women are attracted to different kinds of men. At one end of their cycle, they prefer more ‘feminine’ looking men, and on the other end they prefer more traditionally ‘masculine’ looking men. If I get tired of his human form, I get more attracted to his cambion form and the cycle repeats. I think that is why I just do not get tired of staring at this stupid man every day. I know I’m not crazy. It’s science (and we all know I’m a trusted scientist).

Non-physical things that intrigue me:

How expressive he is. I love how his face changes constantly and dramatically with each sentence he speaks. It’s mostly an act but he is so charismatic. He has ‘rizz’ like the kids would say.

I can’t fix him. I don’t want to. His mind games intrigue me. I want to study him like a bug and play mind games with him too (I’m not delusional enough to think I’d win). Let it be toxic as fuck on both parts.

This man is just chucking stones from his glass house like there is no tomorrow. He plays such a big bad devil, but he is really just a little wet cat with a god complex and daddy issues. Not to mention his little hissy fits if any of his perceived weaknesses are pointed out. I find it endearing (unfortunately).

His voice and his eloquence. I love it. Even his shitty poetry. I could listen to it for eternity.

He is so smart. I have been shouting it from the roof tops: he is not stupid. He is always ten steps ahead.

He’s honest. He doesn’t lie and you know where you’ve got him (if you know how to keep up with him).

Genuinely everyone thinks he sucks, both devils and mortals, and yet he thinks he is the shit, either genuinely or as a coping mechanism.

He just such a nuances character if you really dig into it.

Things I relate to:

The scheming and overthinking. Everything is meticulously thought out to the point of obsession. He is playing 4D chess but doesn’t even consider that the other players might just eat the pieces to win. He strikes me as someone who completely overcomplicates things for no reason, and I felt that.

His idea of order is very different from what’s actually orderly. It just has to make sense to him, like ‘what do you mean it’s not orderly to have dead people lying around, trash everywhere, and debtors running around aimlessly in my house? Completely intentional. What’s not clicking?”. I felt that too. There is order to my chaos, and you don’t have to understand it. I get it.

He’s a cringy theater kid with a love for poetry too.

I too find it annoying when other people don’t follow the script I had in mind for the conversation.

Just human enough to understand how human interactions works, but either doesn’t give a shit or genuinely thinks that just spouting vaguely threatening poetry to strangers is a completely normal thing to do.

The obsession and ambition that just completely makes him lose the plot of everything else.

He is just so obsessed with everything being perfect to a point where it almost seems silly.

Acts like he doesn’t care, but actually cares A LOT about how other people perceive him.

I could honestly keep going but you get the picture.

(Thank you for the ask <3)

[gortash-did-nothing-wrong]

Feral 3

Minors Do Not Interact!!!

Warnings: pregnancy, violence, murder (but it's the Baron so yay), mentions of the Baron being a pedo, mentions of Feyd being a victim of the Barons.

Feyd had a new issue with Friz. Ever since he had begun helping Y/N with the little beast, holding him securely while Y/N clipped his nails, frimmed the fur around his paws and butt, and held him in the bath water while Y/N scrubbed the filth and loose hair off of him, the shedding had become so much less of an issue. Feyd had even found a setting on the shower head that Friz actually enjoyed against his throat. With a lot of patience, an absurd amount of chicken liver treats, and many close calls by cat claws, Friz was… somewhat tamed. The cat didn't like getting his nails trimmed, of course, but Feyd and Friz has come to an understanding. Feyd trimmed exactly one of his claws every day, and Friz got a freshly fried chicken liver with catnip sprinkles for his troubles.

Y/N had been shocked at the improvement in her pet. "I thought he was too old to be tamed properly." She admitted.

"How old is he, exactly?" Feyd asked.

"About sixteen." She said. "I got him when he was a feral kitten, I was about five. He was passed being bottle fed, so he didn't bond with me right away. It took weeks of work for him to even eat in front of me."

Feyd hummed to himself, wondering why anyone would even put that amount of time into a cat.

"Oh, by the way, I saw the doctor today." Y/N said casually. "He ran some tests, and it turns out I'm pregnant."

Feyd felt his face go blank. "What?"

--------

Y/N's pregnancy was… rough. Her cravings were for fresh fruit and cheese, things they didn't get often on Giedi Prime. Meat made her nauseous, something his uncle made constant jokes about. The bastard even hinted that Feyd's child might come out anemic and weak.

Ah, right, speaking of his uncle. Obviously the second Feyd realized his wife was pregnant, Vladimir couldn't go on living. Other than the fact Feyd hated the man, his baby might be a boy. And the idea of the Baron being on the same planet as a son of Feyd's, with his disgusting appetite for young boys was unacceptable. The Baron had a rather unfortunate accident. His normal nightly routine of smoking spice and soaking in his tub took a rather unfortunate turn. He indulged a tad bit too much, got a bit too dizzy, and drowned in his tub. The old man's body was so large it took a half dozen slaves to pull him out of the tub, even after it was drained.

Feyd inherited the throne, and life went on. Y/N looked practically ethereal with a baby bump and a crown on her head as she sat on her throne beside Feyd. The crown was only for the initial ceremony of course, neither of them could be bothered with dressing in ceremonial clothing every day.

Especially Y/N. Her pregnancy seemed to get rougher by the day. Morning sickness from the earlier months turned into near constant aches and pains in her back and legs. Feyd wasn't sure how women without servants survived their pregnancies. Who helped them tie their shoes? Their husbands? They must. Y/N's feet swelled so much, most days she didn't even bother with shoes. He came back to their newly renovated quarters (because even if Feyd wanted the bigger set of rooms his uncle had left behind after his death, he certainly didn't want any of the man's stench hanging around. Feyd had the place gutted and new floors and walls installed. Y/N had picked out the paint, of course.) to find her sitting on the couch with her feet propped up on an ottoman. Feyd tried to comfort her as best he could, but other than having the servants draw her a bath or bring in a foot tub for her feet to soak, there wasn't much to be done.

Thankfully she just seemed to want him to be close to her. And by the stars did he want to be right next to her all the time. His hand seemed to be permanently fixed to her belly, and he'd grin excitedly anytime he felt a kick from his son. Yes, his son. The doctor had confirmed it, and Feyd was both delighted and devastated. He had secretly hoped for a girl out of some misguided belief that it would be easier. Some vague idea that if his child was a girl then he wouldn't see himself reflected in her as much. So he wouldn't have some happier version of himself taunting him about what his childhood could have been.

But when he truly sat down to think about raising his son, Feyd found the idea soothing. No one would rip his son from Y/N's arms and take them away to a house of horrors. No one would mistreat him the way Feyd had been mistreated. His son would never doubt he was loved and cared for.

Y/N had commented on it over snacks one night. Nightly snacks might be his favorite part of pregnancy if he was being honest. Y/N always seemed to have a plate of something nearby and he was always offered some.

"I think it will be healing for you." She said, munching on a few strawberries. "Raising a little mini you, with all your mannerisms. And those beautiful eyes of yours."

Feyd chuckled, his face pressed against her belly as he felt his son kicking at his face. "He has strength, that's for sure. His kicks are getting stronger every day."

"Painful, too." Y/N said, wincing after a particularly strong kick from her baby.

Feyd turned back to her belly, patting it gently. "Easy now, my boy. Don't bother your mother so. She deserves rest after a long day of making you."

A little paw swatted at his nose. Ah. Right. His new problem. Friz stared at Feyd until Feyd sat up, removing himself from Y/Ns belly. The cat immediately started his nightly routine of massaging Y/Ns belly with his little paws, kneading at the baby bump for a few minutes before curling up and purring on it.

Y/N smiled, "It's like he's trying to keep them warm."

"We have blankets." Feyd said dryly, unhappy to have been chased from his wife's belly by a cat.

"It's instinct to him." His wife said, trying to soothe him by taking his face in her hands and peppering little kisses all over his cheeks. "Now, have a snack and tell me about your day."

Feyd took the bowl of strawberries from her, laying back against the headboard and sighing. "I've had such a day."

[ferrocyan]

2, 12, and 24 for Retsarra?

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

WHERE DO I EVEN STARTTTT oh man its gotta be his fight and arena. after whats been done to my lhw girlies it feels so good to have the main guy of the tiers characterization be supported by his fight. i love that in the story cutscenes he turns cold against us but when we step in his ring its bright and open and hes audibly so happy to face us. "lets play around some more" ughhhh i love that voiceline so much. hes having so much fun hes thriving out here. no wonder he doesnt want to get out at any cost!! and its only enhanced by the contrast to his characterization in phase 2, too. i love me a mask off moment and retsarra becoming angry in a similar way he is in the story cutscenes is such a good way to do it. his passion for the arcadion runs deeper and hotter than what hes willing to show on the outside!! and of course!!! i love that honey b lovely got his ass so bad. hes such catnip to manipulative people its so funny i need them to interact more and maybe even kiss

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

one? no i think this will be many. sowwy ;p

ill go into more detail elsewhere but hes forbidden from leaving everkeep. did not mean for this one to be loadbearing but unfortunately it is! its why he no longer works as a hunter in the outskirts

hes latched onto his babyface role pretty hard. i think this ones a bit baseless but its funny to me that, say, retsarra doesnt swear bc it doesnt fit his good boy image www

big fan of sweets, he doesnt go to mosaic for coffee but sugary drinks. hes a milk tea guy to me ww thank you eorzea cafe for vindicating me with howling blade milk

his psychonekrosis is more like chronic fatigue these days. same goes for eutrope i think, but while she brute forces through it (she needs to, to find the cure) retsarra chooses to adjust. he learns exactly what he can manage on bad days and does no more, saves up energy to make sure he can keep up with his training. i think his social lifes fallen by the wayside and more and more nothing in his life outside of the arcadion feels worth the effort and fatigue to keep up with. its another way the hole has grown deeper to trap him in

he wore a regulator back in the hunter days. he fought not to but was denied bc of his young age. which to me is the whole thing about him, like its not that hes unwilling to stand up for himself, its that hes tried to fight and lost over and over, and at this point hes tired and just wants to keep what little he has left

this one is unjustifiable but i cant stop thinking about it. hes an accident baby and while his parents were nice and did their best its not a particularly well kept secret. so retsarra grew up knowing hes an unwanted presence in his family. its why despite being friendly and having much better relationships as an adult he cant internalize the possibility that anyone would want him around

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

ahh man retsarra isnt really my usual type so i havent been looking until recently. but i think hes pretty similar to sylvain gautier from fe3h. guy who hates the system hes in and has been hurt by it but its also very much benefited him and so he stays in anyway. also to keep being with his taciturn best friend from childhood. nagasaki soyo from bang dream also reminded me of retsarra which sounds funny to say but well! theyre both the sociable one of the friend group who acts as the glue and is nice to everyone all the time and yet will turn around to reveal theyre so insanely selfish at heart. its understandable bc they have nothing and no one else other than their respective passions (fighting and being in a band) but its very much by their own doing too as they keep digging their heels in. in the same way retsarra lets hector die and rejects our plea to retire and plans to die anyway, soyo schemes to get her old band back together and, when thats proven to be impossible, blows up her current band in lashing out. its so good. soyo is definitely the better character though bc when her selfishness is revealed shes like "ahh well i guess ill stop being nice and just be a bitch from now on" shes never done anything wrong in her life unlike that catboy i will always support her

[afriendfromanotherworld]

Awhhh man, how I wish these two had at least one interaction. Maybe, the future "battle" (which was literally gamzee just breaking her wrist and then beating her up..... From what I understand). It could have had a lot more emotional weight for me.

Besides the traditional problem of what the relationship between these two was like, wow. They said they were all "friends", but some trolls never even had full conversations... Well, maybe in another reality these two were friends and had fun conversations while enjoying catnip (even though it's not Canon that nepeta smoked it lol)

So many....

....Good opportunities

But we all know how it ended, unfortunately. Nepeta had so much potential, but don't worry. Gamzee didn't gain much after that, although even now.....I see potential in him. (This art was for an alternate universe, and also perhaps another scenario for a good fight between these two.)

[six-bong]

Oh shit hey we're talking 'bout me here

Yes yes Neka Nyi, the girliest girl of all, the cattest of cats, as much as a cat as she is a girl, as much as a girl as she a cat, language doesn't allow me to smush the two words together in a way that'd convey the idea properly, a cooking student (that for some reason always manages to be employed by rich folks, don't ask me how she just does) that has both of the last two nationalities in her world, japanese and murican, no there's no spelling mistake, and why are those two the only ones left? cuz everyone else got fucking demolished during the demon invasion that happened 50ish years ago. Status of Australia pending.

Aaaaaaaaaaaanyway girlypop over here is a hero, a magical girl, a magical catgirl if you will (you will) and is actually employed, so it can be considered as (one of) her student job, unfortunately however she doesn't get credit for it because she uses an actual (il)legal identity between her civil self and magical self. Neka Nyi by day and Nepeta Cataria the Magical Girl of Love and Hate or the Angel's Warrior by day too (she can split, it will be entirely used to play Monopoly/Uno with herself) buuut she mostly uses that last one herself to give herself a fear factor or try to put in perspective her strength to her allies (like istg please do NOT fuck around with people that do 200 damage on a punch that is NOT going to end well this is an ANGEL PLEASE) although that's not her first go at being a hero, or hunter, or whatever you wanna call it. Girlypop was a sentai member before. Y'know

These guys. Anyway at the time she was known as Ms. Pink and was quite competent, honestly I didn't think too hard about that part because it's not that important except for one thing. During her time as Ms. Pink her team leader confessed his love to her and she rebuked him, one because she doesn't feel like that about the guy and two because she's aroace (important for later, I actually bothered to give this one a sexuality so it is, especially since y'know, magical girl of Love, what does it mean to love? how do you love? y'know all that jazz) and that little interaction fucked up the entire dynamic the team had, which is pretty fucking important for something like the Power Rangers so she just decided to fuck off to avoid any dumb mistakes/injuries/deaths that would happen because of it. Since then she doesn't reveal her identity to her coworkers to avoid making what she considers to be the same mistake.

Closing note Ms. Pink is MIA (fr tho the battle suit is still around somewhere, probably hidden under cement like John Wick's weapon cache)

That gives an incredible parallel between how the two of her identities interact with the world. Girl is an absolute airhead and she does not hide it AT ALL, she quite literally smokes a blunt of weed laced with catnip on the job, trying to make her pay attention or care about anything (especially her magical self) is a herculean task. And don't even try to make her wear shoes, her school wasn't able to, the DHA (Demon Hunter Association) wasn't able to, her family wasn't able to, the actual fucking weather cannot make her anything, girl has beans and they WILL feel the FLOOR. Anyway yeah big airhead, the chillest motherfucker alive, a blood pressure of 2, an absolute shitser, girl is a 1m50 (5') gremlin, there is not a single thought bouncing between the blue eyes of this orange catgirl and yet she's somehow the most emotionally stable and mature of her group (I mean her competition is The Most Apathetic Man Ever(TM), a broody swordsman with a broom up his ass called responsability, a genuine child, and a what could be considered child since she seems to have gained sentience a week ago, the only real competition would be the consensual possession and the Queen of Hell that she curbstomped so hard she became good (that's your call Dice :finger_pointing_at_viewer:)) this little mindset of hers that she keeps both as Neka and Nepeta makes her absolutely loved as a civilian by her team but completely despised as a magical catgirl and I'm genuinely wondering why, girl did nothing wrong ever. Except maybe earn her title of Queen of Collateral because every she fires her death beam she razes an entire district of Tokyo and we're lucky she didn't hit the moon yet because she would vaporise that shit. (and her 7 constant felonies for existing)

Anyway yes correct she does use a 950 JDJ Fat Mac for it's intended purpose. Hunting, as in actually hunting, she cooks and eats the demons after she's done, she also serves them to her team if they want it, they mostly do. Except her employer as a civil, that man eats NOTHING and she is BASHING her head trying to find a meal he would even start WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE TOAST IS TOO SWEET AND THE WATER TOO SALTY AAAAAAAAAAAA

Anyway yes 950 JDJ Fat Mac, she uses it to fly due to her lightweight of three (3) grapes and no she doesn't use bullets anymore, instead she uses her emotions to create them, she is a magical catgirl after all, she can do that, use magic, her way of using it makes her patron animal cringe hard but he's also a party pooper so who cares, it makes her weapon fully automatic, no need to reload, ever. It also allows her to make the cheapest spells ever AND bypass the issue all magical girls before her had, burning out your emotions. All the others are retired and in hiding somewhere around the globe because they got consumed by their emotions, knowing that danger she firmly refuses to use her body as a magic focus

EXCEPT for the beam of Love and Hate that is charged through a (completely unecessary wink wink) gay little dance, honestly most of her fighting style is comprised of completely unecessary moves that are done entirely for flair, picture those guys that go way too hard on DDR arcades and the likes to have a good mental image, she knows that with her battle expertise and the power she's been granted she doesn't even need to pay attention to a fight, unless she allows herself to be hit she simply won't and it's been true for years now. She did sustain injuries as Ms. Pink but not as Nepeta Cataria. Except that's a wee bit of a lie she has been hit once, multiple times really by one individual also suffering from being the best in her field.

Enter Melissa, the biggest fucking Sphynx ever, those are big fucking paws and she ate all of them multiples times. This big lass gave her a run for her money and Neka barely managed to claw her victory by recalling her missed bullets to pierce Melissa's vital organs (they were both holding back at the time) she got better now! And they're rivals, worsties, besties, frens :)

Where was I? Oh yeah emotions, she's the current standing last magical girl and people think it's why she has two main emotions instead of the one the others had although that's a misconception. She is the Magical Catgirl of Love and Hate yes but truly only the Hate was given to her. The Love? All native to her, it's her love for the world she lives, for the world she cherishes, a world that doesn't really give her that love back or even allows her to express it like she wants. The Hate is her animal patron's. A snake named Noodle, well at least that's how she named it and will not bother to learn his true name, so yeah this little fella the size of a forearm channels all of his available hatred for demons into Neka, and that's why she doesn't channel magic into her body without shielding herself.

I think that's about it? At least all that I thought about clearly because she does have a family working in car (and mechs) manufacturing and I do have a start of an idea of what they look like but really I mostly have her brother in head that is probably going to be named Mirko Nyi and have a robotic arm (prommy no weapon this time)

So yeah Neka Nyi, me baby, me pretty girl, the silliest of all, very fun to play, don't give her a computer last time that happened she made the worst program ever split in 4 different floppy disks in a zip file. Oh ye btw if she can't be a magical girl in a universe she's a streamer, she is also very much aware of her alternate selves

Long live the catgirls

Okay I give you your blog back now Dice buhbyyyyyye

tell me more about neka nyi

magical girl catgirl whose best attack is a dimension-piercing laser beam

her primary weapon is a fucking JDJ Fat Mac that she uses the recoil of to fly

she belongs to @six-bong so pspspspsps girl come explain ur fuckin Creacher

[barry-j-blupjeans]

@taznovembercelebration - Cat / Baby

It was late when Taako came home. Much, much later than it usually would be. Unfortunately, part of teaching meant dealing with parents. And with parents came the "but my perfect angel child can't do anything wrong ever!". And with that came the mountains of video evidence that their perfect angel child did, in fact, set fire to the cafeteria and reanimate the frogs that another class was set to dissect. Y'know, normal magic school things.

So yes, it was much later than normal. What he wanted was to reheat his spaghetti left over from last night and then lay face first into bed for the next ten hundred years. He wanted to pile cats on top of him until he couldn't do anything else except sit there and feel the vibrations of their purring. He wanted Kravitz to just like, hold his head, because he forgot to get a new ice pack and a headache had been slowly building all day.

What he got instead were his cats surrounding him upon entrance into the house, meowing desperately. Not too unusual within itself, because they were all attention whores and would do next to anything to get their desired amount of affection. What was unusual was that Angus Jr Jr (named after Angus Jr, who decided that human Angus was a much better dad than Taako and Kravitz were, the little traitor) practically climbed up him like a living jungle gym, wailing, fur on end.

"Hey," Taako said. Angus Jr. Jr. gave a louder, more distressed wail. "Hey. Listen. Is this how we talk to people we love, Angus Jr. Jr.?"

Angus Jr. Jr. flicked his tail directly into Taako's face. The door to the kitchen was open and Taako could see Kravitz's shadow from where he was standing. Maybe Lup's too? And if there was a Lup, there was a Barry. Maybe Angus Jr. Jr. was having an understandable reaction to unwanted social interaction. Taako also wanted to climb up someone and cry until they did something about it.

He took one step toward the kitchen and Angus Jr. Jr. squirmed, demanding to be set down. Taako complied and he skittered off to the rest of the cats, who were hanging around the front door like they were trying to trade catnip without Taako noticing. As he approached the kitchen, he could definitely make out Lup talking. And when he opened the door...

Well. Okay.

Lup was definitely here. Kravitz, too. Very important to include Kravitz. However. Instead of doing a normal afterward hang out, as they were wont to do, Lup was holding an actual baby in her arms. A real-life, half-elf baby, who was currently chewing on her finger knuckles. The baby seemed to be... smoking. Literally smoking, with wisps of smoke rising off their skin and ash all over Taako's newly installed counters.

Lup paused midsentence. Kravitz turned to see him and gave him a sort of half-grimace half-smile.

"'Sup," Lup said.

"That's a baby," Taako said.

"Very astute observation," Lup said.

"That's like an actual baby," Taako said, shutting the kitchen door. The cats meowed from behind him, like closing his own kitchen door was a heinous crime against them.

"Sure is," Lup said.

"It's a long story," Kravitz sighed, sounding just as exhausted as Taako felt.

"It's not- like, I'm not taking care of a baby-"

"No, no, no," Kravitz said, at the same time Lup said,

"Uh, 'cuse me, I've already called dibs, thank you."

"No baby for you," Kravitz said, pointing towards Taako. He pointed to himself next. "No baby for me. No- no. No baby. Bad. No."

"Good to see we're still on the same page," Taako said. "Does, uh, does Barry know about your new pal, Lup, or is it a surprise?"

"Oh, Barry knows," Kravitz said, with a voice Taako knew from experience to be "I've hung around these two fuckers all day". "You do not want to get Barry started on baby stuff, he just won't stop-"

"He's gone to get formula," Lup said. "And diapers. And some fire-resistant clothes. And-"

"I got it," Taako said, understanding Kravitz so well right now. "And why, pray tell, are you doing this in my goddamn kitchen and not yours, which is not even fifty feet away from my house?"

"Baby-proof drawers," Lup said, nodding sagely.

"Cat-proof drawers," Kravitz corrected.

"Same difference," Lup said. "Listen, I'll be out of your hair in about, oh, two hours? Three hours? Depends."

"Great," Taako said, out of fucks to give. Sure. A baby. Great. Good idea, sane idea. Can't be any worse than extinguishing the cafeteria and then walking directly in on a group of frogs chasing some of your teachers. Normal day, good day. He was having such a fun time being alive at this very moment. He wanted to be buried under several hundred pounds of bricks so no one could ever bother him again.

And his spaghetti wasn't in the fridge. Slowly, slowly, Taako turned back to Lup and her smoking child.

"Lup," he said. "The spaghetti?"

"Listen," Lup said again.

It was going to be a long fucking night.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Wonder Egg Priority: Post-Mortem Spoiler-riffic Thought Dump (Repost)

Since I accidentally deleted the old post, might as well!

Quickest Summary: After her friend commits suicide, Ai Ohto enters a world where she’s promised if she protects the souls of other teenage girl suicide victims from the monsters that embody the horrors that drove them to their deaths, her friend will come back to life. During her journey, she meets three other girls fighting to save their loved ones and begins to form a bond with them.

Yeah so. This show. Sure had potential. The subject matter was dense (self harm, suicide, abuse, marginalization, transphobia, corrective rape, sexual assault, mental illness are just the beginning of the list of issues depicted), the animation was beautiful, and I’m someone who truly loves stories where one wrestles with symbolic and fantastical representations of social and psychological issues,  who loves a magical twist on heavy struggles, it was catnip for me initially. The issue of suicide/depression/trauma/suicidal ideation and how it interacts with girlhood  and adolescence is something that really hits close to home for me. It was clear from the beginning the show had so much potential- the system run by these creepy robot guys exploiting girls trauma and convincing them if they racked up enough wins like a video game they can, y’know, undo suicide is a fascinatingly fraught and rich set up that could have the potential to say powerful thing about the social systems that entrap us, Utena-style. It was also clear that the show had potential to fall apart under too many ideas and horribly mishandle the heavy subject matter and end up being another story by that enforces harmful myths and stereotypes about girls. BOY HOWDY GUESS WHICH ONE IT CHOSE.

The show has some genuinely powerful moments in early episodes (I’d say episode 7 was is maybe where you’d want to stop if you wanted to watch the show and get some enjoyment out of it) and the girls it introduces were all immediately fascinating and had some fantastic moments and the potential to be such great characters- unfortunately, it squandered pretty much all of that by the end of the show, when it introduced a brand new antagonist and a whole host of sci-fi concepts at the last minute with no space or ability to actually explore any of it. (A ROBOT IS SUPPOSEDLY MAKING GIRLS COMMIT SUICIDE Y’ALL IM SERIOUS). The girls who’d made progress on their character arcs were all abruptly retraumatized in a way that felt cruel and didn’t serve the story because again, no time to explore it!

Importantly, one of the central driving mysteries of the show- why Ai’s friend committed suicide- had the most disgusting, insulting answer it was possible to have. I’m not going to bother to dance around it- we had a teacher who was framed extremely creepily the entire show. He crossed definite lines- he drew paintings of his female students and submitted them to art competitions and drew a picture of Ai, in particular, AS AN ADULT WOMAN (???), with the title ‘latent heat’ (which is as one reviewer put it is the absolute worst thing he could have called it my soul wants to leave my body), and told her she would be hot like her mom (who he was dating) when she grew up. Those aren’t even red flags okay, that’s like….like…Akio Ohtori’s red car has pulled up in the station (I’m just making Utena references to cope shhh).

Ai’s central conflict was she had a crush on Sawaki but also was suspicious he might be a creep who did something to her friend Koito to contribute to her suicide. The conclusion is, nope, Koito is actually KER-AY-ZY and was in love with Sawaki and when he rejected her she falsely accused him of raping her while threatening to jump to her death and but OOPS that silly girl slipped and died! Oh and she’d totally done this before, driving another man to suicide with a false accusation, because this show supposedly exploring the issues of teenage girls is officially pivoting to “yeah but what about the adult men they’re the REAL victims of those malevolent fifteen year olds” now.

Of course we get this all from Mr. Sawaki, Koito doesn’t get a voice or to tell her side of the story here, because who the fuck cares about that I guess! We just accept Sawaki’s word- Ai doesn’t question it, Koito doesn’t get to say anything because she got amnesia or whatever when she got bought back to life and Ai can’t talk to her and Ai also specifically says she was wrong for being suspicious of a teacher made of red flags. I cannot overemphasize how fucked it is that this show is essentially saying young girls who get bad vibes from adult men (or hey, adults in general but this show only cares about men!) shouldn’t like, listen to themselves and be cautious. What a truly dangerous message to send.

(Also, if Koito made such a fuss, why did Ai never hear about it when she got back to school? It should have been pretty obvious whether she fell vs jumped to onlookers if Sawaki could apparently tell, why did no one say that to Ai? And when he was dating her mom did Sawaki bother to mention “oh yeah your daughter’s best friend, who died, you know the reason she’s a traumatized shut in right now, well she accused me of rape and then that’s why she fell to her death but I promise i did not rape her  also she totally fell she didn’t jump :) I did hug her once which was definitely inappropriate considering what I apparently knew of her history but im a nice guy i swear :) anyway I’m so down to date you and be part of your family I’m sure it will help your daughter recover this a great idea”. Imagine a mother listening to that story and being like “yeah this is fine”.

In the Anifem podcast covering this trashfire, Cy Clewis, who taught in Japan, mentions how when she was teaching there, she heard of a teacher who was caught recording elementary school girls in the bathroom, and he didn’t even lose his teaching license, he just could no longer teach in that city. In a world where these kind things happen, where men still easily escape consequences, THIS is the story show told to tell, and I just want to emphasize how fucked that is.

So yeah, I could talk about other aspects of the show, (the way characters like Momoe and Kaoru in particular are handled is something I encourage you to seek out trans takes on, listening to the anifem podcast is a good start! But hey, at least this picture is super cute I’ll always like it:

LET YOUR FLAG FLY MY GUY)

But does it really matter. That one issue pretty much represents how hard the show fell apart and how utterly it fails in caring about its teen girl characters (plus two teen trans boys) and the reality of teen suicide, how utterly it falls apart in both emotional and narrative logic. I’m tired, so the only other thing I’ll say about I find interesting about this show is it COULD be a study in directors, writers and animators clashing. Nojima, the writer, went on record saying he truly DOES believe teen girls don’t commit suicide for the “logical’ reasons men do and are more impulsive (i know, i hope he steps on a lego, DON’T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB AND GO INTO PSYCHOLOGY), yet the director might not. The animators framing Sawaki as super creepy (Atelier emily goes into it very well) and including a lot of depth to a clumsy story may also be them either having different ideas or actively disagreeing with the writer’s vision.

And let’s not ignore how the show was a disaster for it’s poor animators and it’s possible staff may have even been hospitalized. I should mention this was a 13 episode anime with two recap episodes (one of them being 25 minutes of the 45 minute special that was released three months after episode 12).

Basically, the egg is on everyone’s face, and I feel so sorry for everyone involved (except Nojima because he’s pissed me off). I hope things get better for the anime industry and future ambitious projects like this value the health of the staff and stick their landing.

[allofthefeelings]

In your commentary on Stranger Things on Twitter, you mentioned the way the show presupposes allocisheterosexuality about El despite that she was fully removed from "normal girlhood" socialization most of her life. And yeah, I've had problems with that since s1. The show has an unfortunate tendency of treating her as Nerd Boy's Dream Girl rather than fully examining the reality and trauma of her experience.

Oh jeez, yeah.

If you don't follow me on Twitter you may not know that I kind of watched... all of Stranger Things? I'd finished the first three seasons of In Treatment, the new In Treatment wasn't starting yet, it was a whole THING.

Anyway.

I have been thinking about this a lot, because on the surface El should absolutely be my character. She's a kid, extraordinarily gifted, isolated and abused so her talents can be exploited, who figures out how to fight back. And there are parts of El's storyline that I really, really like. But I'm overall frustrated with her narrative, because... wait, this gets long. And has spoilers for all three seasons. And talks about Billy's plots so CW for multiple kinds of abuse narratives here!

First of all, the things done to Eleven don't make logistical sense. I am ALL IN on an evil governmental/science conglomerate kidnapping special children and torturing them into using their special powers against their enemies. Characters overcoming that is my catnip.

But for El to be useful, she needs to function as more than just a tape recorder! We see this when she mindwalks to people but lacks the ability to know what things mean- she doesn't know what Illinois is, for example, or why the girls with Billy might be screaming for non-terrible reasons.

(BILLY'S PLOT IS AN ABOMINATION, YOU DON'T PORTRAY A BULLY AS AN ABUSED KID AND THEN HAVE ADULT WOMEN WITH KIDS HIS AGE LUSTING AFTER HIM ONE EPISODE LATER. But that is a whole separate post.)

El not knowing what a friend or a promise is may make her interesting for the show, and interesting to a bunch of teen boys who've just discovered her, but it limits her usefulness to the evil government! Like, it's great she can crush a can with her mind and listen to people from any distance but if she doesn't understand what they're talking about, you have no guarantee she's going to come away with the important information, and then this poor child once again has a nosebleed for no fucking reason. It's painful and cruel to her, which I accept they don't care about, but it's also INEFFICIENT IF YOU'RE A MAD SCIENTIST. Like I get that evil scientists aren't great with the long game but this is shoddy evil science and that offends me.

ANYWAY.

They make El a very "born yesterday" character, but it's not consistent how. She can speak and understand others, she can perform tasks, she's very good at violence, she has a moral code established despite the evil scientists who were the only people she interacted with (who could have just... raised her with a moral code that fit theirs, no harm no foul? THEY'RE VERY BAD AT EVIL SCIENCING). She had a friend, Kali, but doesn't know what friends are. She understands parental figures- she calls Brenner "Papa"; she knows who "Mama" is- but her feelings about parental figures don't seem at all impacted by how "Papa" was abusive. All of this combines to make her feel unmoored, as a character; I don't have a baseline of how she's understanding the world, and because we perceive her through the boys, it's really hard to find firm footing.

And then season three. I get that what we see is a lot of El trying to figure out what she likes by trying on other people's preferences for size, and that makes sense, but we never see her growing, so much as adopting one person and then another and then another. As you mentioned me complaining about already, in season three her desires match perfectly with those of a stereotypical allocishet teen girl from an 80s movie. And yes, Stranger Things is an 80s movie pastiche, but the boys are allowed to move beyond that in terms of what they want; El doesn't. She wants to make out with her boyfriend with the door closed, even though this has no rebellious value when you weren't raised with these values to begin with, and the soundtrack to her mall trip (which Max even SAYS is about figuring out what she wants, not what other people want her to want) is Material Girl! LIKE SHE'S BEING MATERIALISTIC RATHER THAN FIGURING OUT WHAT SHE WANTS!

(ALSO THIS SHOW IS CLEARLY LEANING ON HAVING AN ADULT AUDIENCE, SO PLEASE STOP SHOWING KIDS MAKING OUT, IT'S VERY DISQUIETING.)

Let's also talk about how the scenes with possessed!Billy kidnapping El are absolutely chock full of rape imagery, when El is a child, Billy is shown as abused by his dad and abusive to Max and kidnapping his fellow lifeguard and objectified by all the women at the pool, and yet El's fear doesn't reflect that. Even if El doesn't know pop culture, she clearly knows danger, and it's like the show doesn't recognize that even a young teen girl is aware of predatory behaviors because it's impossible to live in the world- even in a sheltered world limited mostly to an evil lab and a cabin in the woods with a TV- without knowing.

MOREOVER, El exists less as person than as a deus ex machina; every season, things get dangerous and she has to hurt herself (those constant bloody noses cannot be pleasant) rescue everyone else over and over while no one appreciates her. She wants to stop the bad men but we don't have a grip on exactly why she knows they're bad (besides trying to make her kill an animal, but I come back to why does she have the morality to know she shouldn't? and how does she know anyone else in the world is better?) and while I actually am fully on-board with a kid being raised to see herself as a tool lacking self-worth because she was never taught to value herself, the narrative should be contesting that! And it's not! And I don't understand!

All of this works if you only see El through the boys' lens, and only see El as an accessory to their story. But for El to be a character, rather than a nerd's wet dream, she has to have her own motivations and her own code. We get tantalizing glimpses of it- more from her time with Max than with anyone else- and we see her comforted (by Joyce and by Hop at different times, also DON'T GET ME STARTED ON HOPPER IN S3 IT IS A PROBLEM), but I feel like the show wants her to be mysterious to us because she's mysterious to Mike and his friends, without bothering to make that mystery consistent enough to root her.

I want El to be my character so badly, because she has all the pieces I normally gravitate to- and let's be honest here, River Tam and Natasha Romanoff and Micah Sanders don't exactly get fully fleshed out in their canons either- but she doesn't fit together for me. They've simultaneously given us too much and not enough, so she's a series of tropes that I can't Frankenstein together into a story for her that takes into account both her knowledge and her lack-of-knowledge but doesn't explicitly reject pieces of canon we've been given, which were supplied more in service of Mike's story than of El's.

And that makes Robin, Erica, and Kali all far more interesting characters to me, despite every instinct I have that El really really really SHOULD be who I gravitate to.

[monstroso]

wait no, i wanna say something about this actually

okay so one of my guiltiest pleasure is taking whatever media i'm enjoying and - usually before finishing it - opening up ao3 to see what kind of fics and pairings there are there for it.

this is fun especially for older media that won't have a dedicated fanbase because the ecosystems are usually blind cave worm-levels of specific and weird. i love a dead fandom with one active author writing their very, very niche fetish for the enjoyment of zero people. naturally, i never read any of them, but i love seeing the human tapestry woven before my eyes, naked and unashamed.

this is a bad habit i have inflicted so many times on my friends that i now get prompted about when i should do it and report my findings (which of course i am delighted by). so during one of mafia classic's extended driving segments, DJ suggests I entertain us both by doing just that.

now Mafia (Video Games) has about 550 fics on ao3. That's actually pretty good! I'm accustomed to media with like ~20 or so. here are the most popular ships:

no surprises here, except that the top ships are all in basically a dead heat, which is unusual for most fandoms but not altogether unexpected in a franchise like Mafia. there's a lot of male characters experiencing high emotion. that's compelling stuff!

but what's this first pairing here leading the pack, DJ asks? Vito and some guy named Henry? we're still on game 1 so i do some digging.

"It's the main character from the second game and his older mentor." I report back, dutifully avoiding spoilers. this premise is basically catnip to me, the unfortunate and incurable Reservoir Dogs apologist, so there's no judgement on my part. I understand completely.

Intrigued by the possibility of the potential spotify-year-end top-100-daydreams-annihilating ship that awaits me, we head into game 2. Definitive edition, of course.

so 11 hours in, i cannot tell you how disappointed i am. Vito/Henry is so fucking milquetoast. They interact like 4 times. They say like 50 words to each other. McHanzo has more substantive canon interactions. this is some of the most shameless cardboard cutouttery i've ever had the misfortune of witnessing. almost 50 fics is entirely too generous for this, the blandest of m/m combinations.

anyway, never trust the pairing list.

i like that mafia 2 somehow manages to be less gay than mafia 1 (despite not having a single named female character that isn't related to the player character) purely by dint of Vito being the least interesting man alive

[mmamagoto]

are u guys prepared for this i put all five of the muses here on this one. so of course it’s under a cut for being long as hell

name: natoru

nicknames:

gender: female

age:

date of birth: april 30

origin of birth: listen they’re all from the human world on this blog so let me just save myself the trouble of typing that four more times

race/species: cat (scottish fold)

spoken languages:

romantic/sexual preference: middles toward aromantic

occupation: royal assistant and whatever else they can toss under the umbrella of ‘assistant duties’

hobbies: space, sports (or more specifically, competition), stereotypically Cool Boy things like dinosaurs and creepy crawlies, annoying natori

criminal record: 

disorders: none

eye color: kind of a hazel thinking emoji they’re pretty tbh

height: markedly shorter than every other cat in this dang film

scars: possibly a few very minor ones from some scrapes and clumsiness upon first coming to the cat kingdom, but they’re probably not very noticeable

birthmarks: none

overweight: i’m. not sure thinking emoji she’s definitely a solidly-built little thing but considering she’s a cat it literally could just be her body type lmao. even so, she doesn’t consider it an issue, and neither does anyone else tbh

underweight: no

favorite color: olive green, pink

favorite food: yakiimo

wants to get married / is married: n. no

gotten pregnant / had a child: no

wants a child: not really. she’s content with her cool big sister role

likes children: yes. she has kind of a natural rapport with them

can sing: i mean. she can probably carry a tune

play an instrument: probably not

can dance: ???

gotten tattoos: 

gotten piercings: nah

smoked/drank/done drugs: has probably definitely had Drinks. also like probably catnip/matatabi, which all things considered i’m not sure if it counts lmao

had a broken heart: not really

been in love: not really

a cuddler: Probably bc i’m still very amused by her and natori having to share a room during a trip to another kingdom and natori Suffering the entire time

a kisser:

scared easily: she’s skittish which is Unfortunate bc she is the ‘reacts to jump scares by punching them’ type

jealous easily: it. depends on what it is. she tends to be more the envious type, where she covets Unique and Cool objects over companionship

hot/cool tempered: generally very cool. she’s a tolerant creature, and i feel like that tends to get overlooked thinking emoji

trustworthy: mostly, particularly when compared with her two coworkers lmao

single: yes

extroverted/introverted: she’s adaptable

considered mean: this one is so funny to me bc i think, when compared with natori who is kind of in a similar position to her in the hierarchy, she’s often seen as the more approachable one which is ironic bc between the two of them she’s the uhhhh. less Understanding one. she will sell you for a corn chip

fears: sugoroku space, dogs (just slightly), stick bugs but every other kinda bug is Fine By Her, natori with a ruler in his paw

siblings: marsh (older brother)

parents: unknown

pet(s): none

name: claudius

nicknames: mostly (even now) referred to by titles by everyone except lune

gender: male

age:

date of birth: august 2

origin of birth: see above

race/species: cat (probably a persian)

spoken languages: 

romantic/sexual preference: i kinda lean toward bi or panromantic tbh

occupation: retired king so. mostly just a NEET at this point

hobbies: traveling (mostly to show off but stILL). other than that, now that he’s retired, he’s struggled with finding hobbies that aren’t just napping or following natori around. he’s not a patient or committed creature, so when he tries something new and it’s Too Hard, he tends to lose interest very quickly. that said, he definitely relies very heavily on other people, natori, natoru, and entertainers, etc. to provide him with things to pass the time

criminal record: he’s offended at this very notion

disorders: does. does strabismus count

eye color: has marked heterochromia, with one blue eye and one red eye

height: Tall for a cat jjfkdeia

scars: none

birthmarks: none

overweight: actually, no

underweight: no, tho without all the fur, he definitely has a scrawnier, less conventionally cute look to him jfjfie;a

favorite color: gold

favorite food: oden

wants to get married / is married: he maybe kinda sorta misses being married (or, more specifically, having a significant other)

gotten pregnant / had a child: yes, so long as adoption counts

wants a child: a grandkid sounds kinda nice

likes children: yes, but to absolutely no one’s surprise he’s a bad influence on them and has No Clue how to interact with them when they’re upset. he also is 100% the type to throw hands with a preschooler

can sing: OF COURSE

play an instrument: no, tho he certainly likes the idea of being able to. he’s badgered natori into trying to teach him before inevitably getting bored with the practice when he’s not instantly a genius at it (see above in the hobbies section, aha)

can dance: definitely. unless it’s not a ballroom dance. then no one wants to see that

gotten tattoos: 

gotten piercings: mm, probably not

smoked/drank/done drugs: absolutely

had a broken heart: yes

been in love: twice

a cuddler: It Depends. he was once someone’s Ultra Pampered house cat, so he’s of the five of them probably the most amenable to being pet and held, but he’s also temperamental and finicky so uh. Pet At Your Own Risk ig

a kisser:

scared easily: not really. he’s too impulsive to be scared psh

jealous easily: 100%

hot/cool tempered: HE CLIMBED HIS WAY UP A TOWER WITH NOTHING BUT HIS CLAWS AND SHEER OFFENDED WILLPOWER.............. and all with two swords strapped to him..............

trustworthy: not too much

single: it’s. Complicated

extroverted/introverted: extroverted, mostly, but he has his random introspective moments when he generally wants to be alone

considered mean: I MEAN. it really depends jfjfei;a i will go to the grave with this headcanon that he’s honestly well-liked as a ruler but has a definite reputation of being difficult-to-please and mercurial

fears: being genuinely or legitimately Disliked, pissing off lune to the point he turns his back on him, squeamish with squirmy things

siblings: none

parents: unknown. the previous queen is his mother-in-law

pet(s): none

name: lune

nicknames: an endless cavalcade of affectionate nicknames from his father and no one can convince me otherwise

gender: male

age:

date of birth: october 27

origin of birth: see above

race/species: cat (the fandom seems to have him pegged as a russian blue and i’m not gonna disagree sO)

spoken languages: 

romantic/sexual preference: probably heteroromantic

occupation: king of cat kingdom :v

hobbies: butterflies and moths, idk does urban exploration count for a cat lmao

criminal record: no

disorders: none

eye color: shares his father’s heterochromia-- one blue eye, one red eye

height: notably smaller than his father but still taller than natoru like everyone else jfkfd;a

scars: none

birthmarks: none

overweight: no

underweight: no

favorite color: aquamarine

favorite food: lots of different street foods, tbh, but his favorites are probably takoyaki and taiyaki (particularly when filled with cheese laughs)

wants to get married / is married: is married! and very happy with that marriage

gotten pregnant / had a child: no

wants a child: it’s crossed his mind, but not with any real intent

likes children: probably. he’s never really interacted with them

can sing: i mean. again, he can probably carry a tune

play an instrument: i feel like he probably can. at least one thinking emoji

can dance: yes

gotten tattoos:

gotten piercings: ........i should give him his manga earring. it’s cute

smoked/drank/done drugs: has definitely had some alcohol in his life. also the catnip thing again

had a broken heart: not yet

been in love: yES

a cuddler: i’m. not sure

a kisser:

scared easily: not in the least, but it’s mostly bc he’s a gaddang pollyanna

jealous easily: not particularly. he’s a gregarious creature

hot/cool tempered: cool-tempered, but without natori’s aloofness so he most likely comes across more reasonably or genuinely

trustworthy: Absolutely

single: no

extroverted/introverted: like natoru, he’s adaptable. and like natori, i feel that he’s become quite practiced at playing the part of an extrovert, but perhaps with more genuineness

considered mean: ABSOLUTELY NOT

fears: saying goodbye to any of the familiar cats in his life, Abrupt Change, vehicles are a little iffy nowadays

siblings: none

parents: cat king (father). the previous cat queen was his grandmother (uh, not persephone)

pet(s): none atm, but probably had numerous ones throughout his childhood, including a rabbit which ‘ran away to the mountains (aka the ninth kingdom)’ at some point. according to natori, that is

name: natori

nicknames: poppet, a long time ago

gender: male

age:

date of birth: unknown. tends to use the cat kingdom’s new year celebrations as an excuse to celebrate

origin of birth: see above

race/species: cat (oriental longhair)

spoken languages: 

romantic/sexual preference: generally idles between homoromantic and  demiromantic

occupation: royal advisor/assistant. on paper, he’s retired, but it’s never stopped him before

hobbies: keeping goldfish, music, cooking

criminal record:

disorders: none

eye color: coppery brown

height: close to the king’s height. i keep waffling back and forth on just which of them is taller

scars: none

birthmarks: it’s not necessarily a birthmark, but he does have some kind of marking on him Somewhere (x-files theme) it’s well-hidden by his clothing

overweight: no

underweight: no

favorite color: lavender

favorite food: fish

wants to get married / is married: He Doesn’t Know

gotten pregnant / had a child: no

wants a child: like natoru, he’s mostly content with his role as uncle/mentor

likes children: yes, tho he’s easily stressed by them lmao

can sing: y e s

play an instrument: i’m not really sure yet thinking emoji

can dance: yes

gotten tattoos: 

gotten piercings: he would never

smoked/drank/done drugs: like the others, has definitely had a taste of alcohol fjfjkd;a

had a broken heart: yes

been in love: he’s not sure

a cuddler: generally Not

a kisser:

scared easily: his composure drops pretty quick lbr

jealous easily: a little. a teensy bit. okay it’s much more than a teensy bit

hot/cool tempered: cool-tempered, but, as mentioned above, with a very distinct aloof edge that probably often leads to him being perceived as unapproachable

trustworthy: .............it depends

single: yyyyyyye-- no? yes. no. nobody knows

extroverted/introverted: introverted, mostly, but he plays a very convincing extrovert

considered mean: not especially, but again. probably perceived by many as being difficult to approach

fears: they are Many and Varied and most of them connect either to the collapse of the cat kingdom or the human world in its entirety

siblings: manami, sachiko (younger sisters)

parents: EXTREMELY UNKNOWN......

pet(s): three goldfish

name: yuki

nicknames: lune calls her sweetie in the manga and it kills me every time i remember it

gender: female

age:

date of birth: march

origin of birth: see above

race/species: cat (...not sure what breed she might be thinking emoji)

spoken languages:

romantic/sexual preference: biromantic

occupation: queen of cat kingdom

hobbies: she hasn’t really spent the time trying out hobbies just yet. has gotten a little into butterflies and moths bc lune likes them. has her eye on a number of more artistic pastimes 

criminal record:

disorders: none

eye color: a very pretty blue jfjf;a

height: pretty much the same exact height as lune tbh

scars: none

birthmarks: none

overweight: no

underweight: no

favorite color: plum/wine

favorite food: nikuman, pastries

wants to get married / is married: is married! and like lune, is also very happy with the setup laughs

gotten pregnant / had a child: no

wants a child: atm, not particularly

likes children: also like lune, she has very little experience interacting with them. at least, recently. but i can not see her Disliking children so. u know

can sing: probably

play an instrument: no

can dance: some dances, yes. i like the idea that lune is casually teaching her behind the scenes lmao

gotten tattoos:

gotten piercings: no

smoked/drank/done drugs: a. again, like all of these cats have probably had some alcohol lmao

had a broken heart: s. sort of

been in love: yes

a cuddler: next to the king, she’s probably second most amenable to being pet and held, but she’s not really the type to actively seek it out

a kisser:

scared easily: not particularly, but she’s definitely more wary than lune is

jealous easily: not too much

hot/cool tempered: definitely cool

trustworthy: generally

single: no

extroverted/introverted: definitely introverted, but she’s not awkward in most social interactions. she’s more awkward now than she used to be simply bc she’s still not entirely certain what to expect with her new position and clout

considered mean: definitely not, to the point that i headcanon those who don’t know her terribly well are sometimes surprised by how remote she can come across laughs

fears: somewhat insecure in her new position, a lot of her current fears come back to being ridiculed or making a fool of herself, damaging her reputation right off the bat so that no one will ever take her seriously, or that it will bleed into lune’s reputation, too rip

siblings: none

parents: unknown, however for this blog’s canon, she did spend some time as haru’s pet in the human world

pet(s): none. she’s still kinda baffled by the idea of cats having pets in the first place lmao

natori very hesitantly but cheerily introduces her to his goldfish and she isn’t sure what to say fjfjk;ea

yuki, to lune: i didn’t know cats could have pets lune: sure! i had a pet rabbit once yuki: yuki: what

[cadcnce-archived]

mun questions || [ open ]

@orderbourne​ sent:  2. Have any pets? Talk about your pets, Bear!

Alright alright alright. I’ve got three of them. Going from oldest to youngest-

LORD SKINKERTON (Huff n Puff)

He declined to come out for a picture, and I’m not one to pull him out if I don’t have to because he’s a grumpy boi. Huff (is what he was first named, but we call him Skinker mostly) is a 7 year old Merauke Blue Tongue Skink. I got him from a breeder off a forum around memorial day that many years ago now and he’s been a staple of my office space. We have conversations and he loves gettign treats of berries and while we havent had them in awhile, he looooves eating roaches. This lizard turns into a different animal when you offer him a dubia or any other wiggly bug. He’s unfortunately not the most sociable guy but he’s definitely a very mellow lizard who’s easy to pet, hold, and enjoy watching. 

One of his favorite things to do is lay out in his bedding with his head propped up on a box edge or that piece of wood. The cats are obsessed with watching him but we don’t let them directly interact. You’d think he’d be scared but if anything just antagonizes the furbabies more by coming out and ‘glass surfing’ when they come up to the cage.

MORI (’Forest’, Omamori)

Mori is the first cat I’ve ever owned, and let me tell you the first year was an experience after owning dogs all these years living with my parents. My wife found and adopted him from the local shelter a couple years ago and the two have been joined at the hip ever since. The amount of affection this cat has for my wife is astounding. We wager he’s about 2 and a half now, he’s our grey tabby boy who’s a VERY LONG CAT and loves to sleep in laps. He also wants to go outside and curses that we don’t allow him to be an outdoor cat. But I don’t trust that kind of thing at all, he’s way too sociable and way too cute. He doesn’t shy from saying hello to dogs or strangers, which is why I was able to live with my parents and their big hound dog the other year to get my finances back in order and change jobs. His favorite toys are a catnip banana and mint stick.

KUJI (’Lottery’, Omikuji)

Lastly we have Kuji, who we adopted from the same shelter we got Mori back after Valentine’s last year, just before shutdowns started going through aha. She’s a year and some change old now. This one was my choice because from the start she had such a great personality of just doing whatever she liked and not taking sass from other cats. The mark on her nose is scarring from a fungal infection she had as a kitten where she was picked up in Shenandoah, it mildly affects her breathing and such but she’s fine now. Kuji is a huge contrast to Mori, being a big stocky gal who’s totally shy to strangers and panics and hides when the doorbell rings. Sigh. She’s SO pretty but so hard to show off.

She’s more or less ‘my’ cat whereas Mori is my wife’s, and I love her to absolute bits. She’s so sweet and affectionate and silly. We have ‘conversations’ a lot by chittering back and forth. And she’s SO WILD when she gets to playing. She doesn’t loaf, she flops everywhere she hangs out and doesn’t speak a LICK of cat.. Mori can barely stand it.

I love her.

Her favorite toy is EVERYTHING you toss across the room, because her favorite game ever is fetch. 🥺 How do cat?

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 65

I am so, so sorry for getting this out so late in the day.  I know this should have gone up almost eight hours ago. Entirely too much has been going on.

Thank you for bearing with.

“Final systems check,” Grey announced, glancing briefly over from the display and nodding at me.

Noah waved its left liw and vomu in a very human gesture, albeit in multiple. “Proper recordings of every Terran scientific paper in our database are prepared to be communicated directly into your translation implant.”

“He means audio,” I stage-whispered to Conor and Maverick.  Tyche had marched out and read them the riot act after she and I cleared the air.  Their abashed apologies once she dragged them back were still under consideration, but I felt safer with them in the room.

I was also a bit loopy on the sedatives they had given me for my blood pressure. So sue me.

Rolling her eyes, my sister turned to Antoine. “And the connection?”

“Strong and clear,” he confirmed.

Maverick cleared his throat to get our attention. “If we can stream all this information directly into her implant, why aren’t we using this for learning?”

Antoine leveled a half-scathing glare – I couldn’t tell if I was more impressed he mustered any degree of ‘scathing’ or that he was tired enough to let it slip through – before explaining. “Any information retention will be trivial at best, and that would be largely because of Sophia’s exceptional memory. She is still essentially hearing several lectures in a row and repeating them back as soon as she hears it.”

Poor Maverick looked devastated.  Unfortunately, his pout was almost comical, and it took every bit of what little self-control I had left to keep from laughing.

It seemed I wasn’t doing as good a job as I thought, because Tyche turned away with a growl, hands flung in the air. “Okay, papers are queued up, connection to the implant is good. Did we get the medication figured out?”

“Confirmed,” Grey asserted without looking up. “Sophia, you will be in REM sleep, but still lucid.  This should let you control the dream and speak to Else.”

“So I’ll be hypnotized.”

Grey scoffed, but Antoine cut them off. “We discussed this, Dr. Hodenson. While you may not believe in hypnosis, it is a proven phenomenon.  While difficult to accomplish deliberately, I have witnessed Sophia subject to this mental state.”

“Wait, what?” My neck hurt from turning so fast to look at him.

“When you read. When you cook. When you wrap presents,” he ticked off on his fingers.

“I’m not hypnotized, I’m in the zone,” I argued.

Tyche rolled her neck and cocked an eyebrow at me. “That is literally hypnosis, specifically when you read.  I remember seeing you sit in a house with no heat, in January, in shorts and a t-shirt, sweating bullets while reading a book that ended up taking place in Mumbai in summer.  You get cravings for whatever foods your favorite characters are eating, even if you hate the food.”

“That’s not hypnosis, that’s suggestion,” Grey stated flatly.

“And hypnosis is the induction of a state of consciousness that makes you particularly susceptible to suggestion,” Antoine pointed out, equally flat.  With these two, it was practically a shouting match.

Heading off the galaxy’s calmest blow out, I spoke up. “So, creation’s most boring audiobooks, check. Overkill-quality headphones, check. Deep-fake VR drugs, check.” I pointed at myself with both thumbs, “Stoned and willing guinea pig, double check. Let’s get this done.”

Two hours into spouting off what seemed to be hematological extracts, I was considerably less stoned and significantly less willing.

“A low packed cells volume usually indicablood loss due to cell destruction or failure in bone marrow production, while high mean corpuscular hemoglobin concentrations – “

Please. Stop.

“Oh thank fuck,” I gasped, allowing myself to tune out the stream of information piped directly into my head. “Else, is that you?”

Yes, I am here.

“Well, at least it worked… you’re talking quite a bit better now.” I glanced around at the landscape.  While focusing on reciting two hours of scientific papers, I had to ignore it all.  Since the last time I was here, I managed to figure out that the Ark in my dreams was an analogue of my health, from Else’s perspective.  Right now, everything looked okay.  The walls were cracked, but all the pieces were in place. No water. All the lights were functioning. “Also, good to see I’m not dying.”

We wouldn’t let you die.  We need you.

“Not all of me,” I pointed out to thin air.

Your hemoglobin, Else’s voice admitted.

I nodded. “That sounds more accurate.  You eat iron, right?”

Yes. And there is so much here.

“That sounds sinister,” I mused.  Since Else has been able to read my thoughts in the past, I made a point in the dream to speak out loud. It was more for me than the bacteria, since literally all of this interaction was happening in my head anyway. “Is that why you are on the ship.”

I didn’t ask to be here. Humans brought me here.

“The same humans you’re eating. Were you in the core samples we gathered?”

No. I came later.

“But that is the only time we have taken anything on board since we left Earth.” This wasn’t making sense.

I am from the Ark.

“Else, you aren’t making sense,” I took a deep breath. I imagined taking a deep breath. Something.  I was definitely getting a very real headache. “If you only came after the core samples, but you come from the Ark, how does that work?  Are you another alien race? What planet are you from?”

I am from the Ark.

“I mean what planet – “

No planet. I am from the Ark.

“Wait, what? You mean… Life on Earth evolved from the primordial soup that existed after Earth formed. From… amino acids, then proteins…”

From the oceans, to be simple.

“Right, from the oceans.” I mused. “But we’re in space, with all the radiation you could want, plus exotic trace minerals that may be in those core samples, and a big god-damned – “

Language, Else admonished.

“Oh, now you have a sense of humor,” I huffed. “We have a big lake with all kinds of biological experiments going on in BioLab 2. Is that where you come from?”

Not just the water. Experiments, too.

“Fuck.”

None of that.

“So we made you.”

Yes.

My knees spiked in agony as I hit the deck below my feet. “It was an accident,” I begged in a hoarse whisper. “All the shitty things we have done to ourselves and each other, please tell me it was an accident.”

Did you know if you were an accident before you were told by your parent?

“That is such a low blow,” I scowled. “You and Tyche are the only ones who know that.”

But fair.

“Unfortunately.” I huffed an imaginary lock of hair that just appeared in my face for the sole purpose of doing so. “I am going to assume this was an accident.”

Ouch.

Indulgently, I stomped around, fists clenched, growling the entire time. “I am negotiating with a sentient colony of bacteria, one that humanity made, somehow, and now you have hurt feelings!?” I was screaming by the end of it, and a distant part of my brain registered a chilled sensation in my arm. “Stop sedating me, I’m pissed!” Breathing heavily, I tried to calm down. “I get that it’s insulting, Else, but trust me, you do not want humanity to have made you deliberately.  If that was the case, your only actual function is to kill people and destroy buildings.”

I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just want to live.

“As a former intended entrée, I can sympathize. But you are killing us, Else.” Hot tears filled my eyes. “I’m okay so far, but that is only because Miys is constantly infusing me with freshly made, iron-rich blood. What happens when we’re out of resources? Or reach our destination?”

Nutrient rich plants, engineered to grow on the new planet.

“Conor,” I gasped, covering my mouth as the tears I was trying so hard to hold back fell down my face. “The catnip he gave Tyche. He said it was a failed experiment.”

He does not know he created us. The gift was in good will.

“Is that how you infected her?”

No. She likes to swim. And she loves you.

“Difference between intelligence and sentience: that was exactly the wrong thing to say,” I hissed. “The only body you have are the ones you stole from my family and the crew, so I can’t actually hurt you. But I am this close,” I held my fingers so they were barely not touching, “to having Miys filter you out of our blood and flush you into space.  The only reason I am here talking to you is because we knew you were sentient before we realized you were killing us.” Another deep breath. “Try. Again.”

She was infected when she went swimming. It was not intentional. We needed iron.

“Much better.”

We did not mean for the mermaid to be injured so. There was so much iron in her blood. I did not know that taking it away would harm her.

“You harmed us all!” I screamed. “All of us!  You made Grey absent-minded and forgetful. You undermined their confidence. You made Conor, Grey, and Antoine angry,” I spat. “The biggest betrayal of all. Three of the calmest, most reasonable people I know, the ones who would have rooted for you, and you took that away from them!”

I –

“Conor and Grey made you!”

Did not know. Not then. But I-we know that now. And we are sorry.

”Are you? Or are you pleading for your life?”

I-we want to live.

“That I believe.”

But we want you to live, even if we are not within you.

“How the fuck do you think we do that? Humans are the only source of iron on the ship.”

I-we am-are bacteria. I-we can be isolated.

“And then, what? Leave you on some poor planet to kill some other species? I hate to tell you, but you went from birth to genocide in alarming fashion. All of humanity that is left, is on this ship, and you are killing what’s left. From what we understand, the Galactic Council would frown on what you’re doing.” I focused on sending the information I had gotten back to Miys and everyone listening in. “I can’t let you do this to another species.”

Barren planet. Old one, where no more life will survive.

“One that is at the end of its life cycle?”

I-we do not believe I-we am-are vulnerable to heat.

I waited patiently for information before I responded. “Miys says we can isolate you and test for you heat resistance before booting you off in a nebula that you can’t fuck up. Is that sufficient?”

Humans cannot live in a nebula.

“We can’t live in a pylon either, but you ate it all the way through.”

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[reasonablespeculation]

endings beginnings reactions

an compilation, under the cut. (and my review at the very bottom)

thewanderlustcat: Ok so I finished EB. I don't know how I feel about it , there's way to many things left unsaid, to many things open to discussion, to little dialogue, like an hour long trailer for a movie. In terms of editing, I liked it. It had potencial to be a good movie (with the exception of the HUGE CLICHE plot ""twist""). I disliked Shaline and Seb's characters, but I found it cute that Seb said that he see's himself in jamie's character, I see that too. Him laying on the ground hmmm SO worth it, hot af

anon1: Can we talk about the dog?! OMG IT'S SO CUTE! It's a Corgi!  - SAME!!! In the scenes in the car all i could think was "where's the dog?? they did let him run away?!?"

anon2: I’m literally 20 minutes into EB and I’m already cringing. Improvising can be wonderful, but you have to have the right actors to do it. All the interactions so far feel so forced and off..I’m trying to enjoy but the dialogue is killing me 

anon3: That sex scene... pretty dramatic to me. Also I feel like shailene definitely has a thing for Sebastian.

anon4: Oh man! I did try and finish EB but I couldn’t ... I feel so bad, I really wanted to but it’s too boring despite S being the sexiest thing on earth x

~~

RS: I actually liked it fine. I had super low expectations after the clips that came out made me cringe SO hard, but I enjoyed it overall. It was chill. Something to kinda watch for 20 minutes then go make tea and put on a load of laundry, then keep watching, then scroll instagram for a bit when Seb isn’t on the screen, ya know?

I found Daphne really relatable and have def had similar struggles with life, men, and relationships. The shit she did reminded me of like that situation that we’ve probably all been in where a really good friend, like someone you’ve known for ages and basically consider a sister, just keeps making really dumb decisions and won’t own up to anything she’s doing and you’re like honey, I adore you, but please for the love of god just stop doing things for a minute. That friend of hers felt like an audience stand-in in that way. On the other hand, is it just me or is it a romantic movie cliche for the leading lady to have some kind of cutesy etsy-adjacent hobby? That she returns to as she ““““finds herself”“““? That bugged me. I’m officially putting my request into the universe to see more forestry ladies in romantic movies, our steel toe boots are extremely sexy.

I didn’t loooove that her process of self-actualization and self-love really kicked off with a pregnancy. (Also that much unprotected sex?? Folks! C’mon!) I have a tiny seed of a thought about how much she actually did really want to be pursued? She sends that text about feeling like the bachelorette and I think she was lying to herself about not wanting that... among the many other things she was lying about. You can see it in her reactions - the dude that keeps going after her is the one that (for then) wins.

What else, plot-wise... Oh, I was expecting the drug moment to be a lot bigger and darker, but I found it realistic. Definitely been there (not Frank there, Daphne there). Some of the character moments felt like an uncool 20 year-old’s idea of what a cool “grown up” does, like the absinthe which made me looool. Oh Drake,,, I too thought absinthe was cool and edgy when I was 23. Overall I didn’t really find there to be that many things left unexplained? I thought the flashbacks to her assault made sense and I got what was happening there before it was fully fleshed out. One of my frands pointed out that ring that she hawked was probably NOT worth any amount of LA rent though which is.. yeah.

I didn’t find the dialogue as clunky as I would have thought from the clips (and peoples’ comments).  I thought Shai and Jamie did a fine job and unfortunately due to who I am as a person could see myself falling madly in love with Frank and dating him for way too long (not just because of Seb, that type of dude is just catnip for me - the Big Sur trip (and to my eternal shame the playlist) would both work gangbusters on me). Both of them had good chemistry with Shailene and I thought their dates and whatnot were cute and/or romantic and sexy. It would have been really cool to see more of the guys relationship/interactions with each other sans Daphne, but maybe Drake was doing something filmmakery with the limited perspective and tunnel vision that Daphne has that she doesn’t really care about their relationship with eachother, just what they bring to her life.

It was a little hmmm anodyne? It didn’t make me feel any big emotions (other than lust but that’s Sebastian’s fault not the movie). I don’t huugely vibe with this style of filmmaking? Like the slice of life thing? I tend to want a little more oomph in my storytelling. I agree with the critiques that it was a lot of style and not as much substance. If it was a little more up its own ass I would have been happy to write it off but it skirted the line for me. It just.. didn’t say much? Even Daphne’s speech at the end (which I’ve seen that many people found emotional) felt a bit nothing-ish personally. But overall, for a movie that’s trying to do a realistic, “this is what life/love really is, man” kind of thing, I thought it succeeded decently well.

[juice-boxs-imagines]

Hey sweets! So, the captains go camping. Kinda like those corporate retreats where they test their mettle by being in the wildness for a week. Who is the natural survivalist? Who can’t cope? Who surprises themselves by rising to the challenge & adapting with some impressive skills? Have fun! ❤️😘

Lol, these ask! I had too much fun writing these! When I was making them, I kept finding myself saying this the same thing in each ask or making too many references to others, so I decided to combine them and address each captain and lieutenant by their respective Division. I wrote these as if they all went on the same camping trip together. I hope readers enjoy them just as much as I did! 😂😂😂

Ah! And thank you @shadowsnlace for letting me use your hc!

SHUNSUI KYORAKU AND NANAO ISE

The head captain is a lazy bum even while camping. You'd think he's helpless and can't fend for himself, but in reality it’s just that his laziness knows no bounds. He'll try to mooch off Nanao, but she won't let him. So his next go-to will be poor Jushiro (who doesn't have the heart to turn him away). Nanao will nag Shunsui for bumming off of Jushiro. She’ll use a can of mosquito repellant as a substitute book for whacking Shunsui in the head each time she deems he needs it. Nanao will have a camping guide in her hand at ALL times, and she will utilize Shunsui as a pack mule when they're heading to their campsite with their fellow campers. Shunsui will be whining having to carry literally everything, while Nanao leads the way with a map in hand.

-Shunsui: Why are you so mean, my little Nanao-chan? 😭

-Nanao: I refuse to let you get the both of us lost in the middle of the woods!

Alas, despite Nanao’s greatest efforts, Shunsui will be drunk before its time to make the s’mores. Before they had left the Seireitei, Nanao had gone behind Shunsui and removed all of his packed n̶e̶c̶e̶s̶s̶i̶t̶i̶e̶s̶ sake. Unfortunately for Nanao, however, she and Captain Hitsugaya failed to do the same thing for Rangiku- and drunkards help drunkards. Nanao will be fuming next to a certain snow-haired captain.

SUI-FENG AND MARECHIYO OMAEDA

If it were not for special circumstances, these two would have never stepped foot outside of the Seireitei. Sui-Feng can't be bothered by something as “childish” as camping, but what got her into kahoots with this was listening to her lazy Lieutenant nag about how camping is not an appropriate activity for a “rich and handsome” man. T̶h̶i̶s̶ g̶a̶v̶e̶ S̶u̶i̶-F̶e̶n̶g̶ a̶l̶l̶ t̶h̶e̶ e̶x̶c̶u̶s̶e̶ i̶n̶ t̶h̶e̶ w̶o̶r̶l̶d̶ t̶o̶ b̶u̶l̶l̶y̶ h̶e̶r̶ l̶i̶e̶u̶t̶e̶n̶a̶n̶t̶. Similar to Nanao, Sui-Feng utilizes her lieutenant as a pack mule. The only difference is, Omaeda is carrying HER, too.

-Omaeda: Captain, why do I have to carry you AND all of the stuff?

-Sui-Feng, is sitting on top of the luggage strapped up on Omaeda’s back: Shut up, and follow the other pack mule in front of you (s̶h̶e̶ i̶s̶ t̶a̶l̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ S̶h̶u̶n̶s̶u̶i̶).

Later on, Omaeda soon learns that the double-tent that captains and lieutenants are sharing will be off-limits to him; Sui-Feng will say it is part of his training. Poor Omaeda has to sleep in his sleeping bag outside; Sui-Feng uses the extra space in the 2nd-Division themed double tent as an open room just in case Yoruichi decides to go camping with them. There is a cat bed and an extra sleeping bag, so that Yoruichi can decide which form she'd rather sleep in. Sui-Feng spends the rest of the night fantasizing about sharing a tent with Yoruichi. Forces her enslaved Omaeda to find wild catnip just in case Yoruichi drops by for a visit.

ROJURO "ROSE" OTORIBASHI AND IZURU KIRA

The only thing Rose packs for the trip is his guitar. He doesn't see a need for anything else. Kira, the ever worrisome cinnamon roll, will borrow Nanao’s camping guide to make sure he has everything. He also visits Unohana to get a brief lesson in identifying dangerous plants, like poisonous mushrooms and poison ivy. He also asks Hanataro if he can borrow the best, most up-to-date medical kit the 4th Division has.

Kira will haul a wagon for their stuff, and Rose will be in the wagon, singing and playing guitar songs to the passing scenery. After they get to the campsite, Rose will help Kira pitch a tent, but he will want their duo-tent to have a more “dramatic” feel to it. So he leaves to gather some beautiful plants and flowers to decorate the area. Kira has a mini heart attack when he recognizes one of the plants as poison ivy. Kira freaks out when he further realizes that of all things, he forgets to bring poison ivy cream- something that is not included in the medical kit. Rose and Kira have to go see Captain Mom (Unohana).

Later on, Rose will insist to play his music, even though his fingers still suffer from poison ivy.

-Kira: But, Captain, you're still-

-Rose: No, Lieutenant! The show must go on!

-Retsu: I'll be over here when you next need me.

RETSU UNOHANA AND ISANE KOTETSU

Retsu will find enjoyment in any activity that involves interaction with the great outdoors. Isane will be nervous, but if she sees her captain taking this into her ever present grace, Isane will give it a whirl. Unohana will use Minazuki to transport her and Isane’s needed essentials. Given her history, Unohana will be an expert living off the land. The only problem there will be is if she can't spice her food the way she likes; Unohana prefers strong foods, so she will be packing a basket special for adding savory spices and seasonings to her dishes. Meanwhile, she will realize Isane is following her like an imprinted duckling, so Unohana will encourage Isane to start trying new and different things. This is when Isane will find that she is a prodigal child at identifying wild plants. Isane won't initially realize it's because of all of those lessons from Unohana over the years; In her free time, Unohana travels into the Rukon to gather wild herbs, so Unohana can do the same. Unohana will chuckle and begin to teach Isane new stuff.

Later, Isane will grab her camera to find Nemu to go take pictures of stuff around the campsite, and Unohana steals the opportunity to turn the two of them into kindred spirits by mentioning bird-watching. Unohana “convinces” Mayuri to let Isane and Nemu borrow his binoculars. Later on, while everyone is making s’mores, Unohana will sit next to Ukitake and sip tea while watching her younger friends and colleagues go about with their shenanigans. She will also scold Isane if she eats too many sweets, and she will scold at Zaraki for letting Yachiru eat s’mores for dinner.

After the camping trip, Isane will want to start going with Unohana to the Rukon, as a result of finding her new talent.

SHINJI HIRAKO AND MOMO HINAMORI

First thing that comes to mind: Poor Momo. She has the worst possible partner.

Shinji is not an outside person AT ALL, and he has awful camping experiences in the Human World thanks to Love, Kensei, and Lisa. Shinji makes sure to bring along all sorts of spider killer and bug repellant. (Kensei anticipates this and goes behind Shinji to replace all the poison with sugar water.) Momo gets to choose the tent and she picks a watermelon themed duo-tent that makes Shinji whine. Momo ends up leaving early to walk with Isane, so Shinji soon finds himself on Team Pack Mule.

Once at the campsite, he expertly assembles the obnoxious tent before deciding to go for a swim in the lake. He then has to visit Captain Mom when he comes back with his back covered in leeches. Being extremely anti anything that wiggles and crawls, Retsu has to stomach his whining and squirming while showing him medical assistance. Shinji now can't be caught dead anywhere near the “dangerous” lake. Even Rose tells him he's being dramatic; Now everyone is staring at Rose like HE’S the weirdo.

Momo will sit with Isane and Sajin while Isane explains all the different kinds of wild plants to be found in the woods. Momo then learns about some white flowers and brings them to Toshiro. She discovers Toshiro holed himself up in his tent because “its too hot” and he's “being eaten alive by bugs.” Momo spends the rest of her time drawing Toshiro out to have some fun.

Later on, Momo is eating s’mores with extra chocolate. She happily takes in the s’mores Toshiro rejects from Jushiro. The child in her asks Jushiro for stories by the campfire. Momo is too sweet and innocent for this world.

Later on in the night, Shinji wakes up with the spider the size of a baseball crawling on his face and the rest is history. Momo ends up spending the night with a knocked out Rangiku in the 10th Division tent. Shinji ends up getting pitied by the pure-hearted Sajin and earns a safe place in the dog-themed tent. Lisa and Kensei are blue in the face trying to hold back from laughing.

BYAKUYA KUCHIKI AND RENJI ABARAI

Believe it or not, Byakuya has an initial impression to camping comparable to Omaeda. However, Byakuya is surprisingly open-minded to new things (that are reasonable, of course). He gets looped into the trip when he overhears Rukia and Renji talking about it. Oh? Camping? Where he can show off his independent, manly skill? Where he can exercise his artistic sense in the arts of knots and wood carving? Count him in!

Byakuya will carry only his backpack. Renji joins Team Pack Mule with Shunsui and Omaeda, because you can't expect Byakuya to do THAT. Byakuya enjoys the hike into the mountains to the best spot to pitch camp. He buys a camping guide just like Nanao’s, as well as a map of the local area. While walking through the woods, he will drink in everything: sights, sounds, smells. It's all inspiration for this artistic man.

The duo-tent that Byakuya and Renji share look more like the parent-and-child duo-tents; Byakuya’s tent is huge, and Renji’s looks like it's the kiddie part. The Kuchiki Clan seal is bold on Byakuya’s, while the 6th Division flower is on Renji’s.

After the tent is pitched, Byakuya’s interest will perk when he notices all of the interesting stuff by the lake-side: shells, freshwater crawfish and crabs, birds, and mudskippers. Who knew a lakeside would be home to so much activity?

Meanwhile, Renji will occasionally squabble with Rukia for antagonizing her about her chappy theme tent, and later he, Ikkaku, and Iba find themselves in the mixes with Rangiku’s issued sake challenge.

SAJIN KOMAMURA AND TETSUZAEMON IBA

Sajin will be a natural at camping. Due to his wolf-side, he will feel more at home in the the woods than he does in the scrutinous society of the Seireitei. Having a heart of gold, he’ll offer to carry Iba’s things to him, but Iba won't let him. Sajin and Iba will follow Scout Leader Nanao as she leads the group to the camping site and they agree to pitch their dog-themed duo tent right next to the lake so they can have that awesome view the next morning.

Sajin will want to go hiking, and later he'll bump into Isane while she is exploring the woods and looking for rare plants and herbs. He gets caught up in listening to Isane talk about different herbs and their uses. He'll lay in the grass, staring up at Isane with big bright eyes and nodding occasionally, completely engrossed in everything she is teaching him.

Meanwhile, Iba will get wrapped up with Ikkaku and Renji; those fools are seeing who will be the last to get drunk, a competition originally started by Rangiku.

LISA YADOMARU

Lisa is chill as fuck, just like her old boss, Shunsui. Only difference is, she can get off scot-free with bumming off others. She had perfected the art of slipping past Nanao’s bullshit-sensory radar. Lisa can pitch her own tent, and as she is without a lieutenant, she just has a single tent. Which, believe it or not, is just FINE by her.

Half of Lisa’s packed essentials are actually porn mags. She doesn't bother with packing food because she knows Kensei will be packing his kitchen. After she sets up her tent, she will sit by Rangiku and the two of them will be sipping sake and cooing at half naked girls in magazines. Shunsui will slyly join them eventually. Unlike Shunsui and Rangiku, Lisa can hold her liquor, so she won't be drunk by the time it's time to bust out the s’mores. That's around the time she'll hatch her evil plan with Kensei.

KENSEI MUGURUMA, MASHIRO KUNA, AND SHUHEI HISAGI

Mr. Sexy won't have any problem going camping. As in matter of fact, having lived in the Human World, he's done it before with the other Vizards. So this is a piece of cake. He and Shuhei split the load of stuff together and follow Scout Leader Nanao to the best camping spot available. Shuhei will eagerly follow his role model and he listens diligently while Kensei teaches Shuhei camping basics. Mashiro tags along, too, but she steals Sui-Feng’s idea and hitches a ride on Kensei. Kensei will nag and complain, but Mashiro will get her way.

Later on, Kensei will have attracted a mini-crowd to his cookfire when he makes a makeshift grill out of a thin slab of rock over a fire. People start bringing him stuff to cook up, and Chef Sexy has no issue in doing so. Retsu allows him to use some of her packed spices, and when Kensei starts cooking the meat Zaraki and Ikkaku brings him, Toshiro the meat lover is first in line. After everyone has had their fill, Kensei joins forces with Lisa and the two of them go spider hunting.

Later that night, the entire camp will wake up to Shinji and Momo screaming about spiders crawling around in their dual-tent. The spider prank was meant for Shinji; poor Momo was just collateral damage. Sorry, Momo.

TOSHIRO HITSUGAYA AND RANGIKU MATSUMOTO

Camping? To be honest, Toshiro is just like Sui-Feng on this one. A captain of the Gotei 13 cannot be bothered with such things when there are important duties to be- Wait, all of the other captains are going camping too? Maybe it's not so bad after all. And he cannot possibly say no to Momo. Toshiro decides to use a wagon like Rose and Kira to tote his and Rangiku’s things, with the intentions of them taking turns pulling it. Unfortunately for Toshiro, it doesn't take long for Rangiku to pull a Rose and hitch a ride in the wagon, and thus Toshiro is an official member of Team Pack Mule. Only difference is Rose is serenading the trees and she is making Z’s (I have a Seuss-Muse! 😎).

Toshiro ends up having to pitch the 10th-Division theme tent himself. Rangiku wakes up ready to party and she suddenly starts pulling out a whole liquor store from the bag Toshiro THOUGHT he packed up some paperwork in.

-Rangiku, giggling: Oh, I had to make room for the party essentials, Captain!

-Toshiro: MATSUMOTO!

Shunsui: *casually slides in for the sake*

When it gets super hot, Toshiro is needed to make some ice. Kensei also takes advantage of this, and Toshiro gets his earnings in meat. This boy is a meat lover, and he pitches a fit when a tipsy Rangiku eats off his plate. He also gets yelled at by Mayuri when his “annoying, stupid ice menace” obscures the view of the Mayuri Tree. Sorry, Mayuri.

Later on, Toshiro is pouting with Nanao while watching Rangiku and Shunsui waste themselves into the “young, infant night.” Toshiro tells Rose to quit messing up his self thought narrations with dramatic descriptions of the night. He also has to fend off Jushiro’s attempts of feeding him s’mores and sweets.

KENPACHI ZARAKI AND YACHIRU KUSAJISHI

Yachiru: Ken-chan, let’s go camping!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is all it takes to get Zaraki camping. To be honest, though, Zaraki technically goes camping ALL the time. Yachiru often gets the two of them lost in the middle of the woods and have sometimes had to spend the night somewhere in the middle of the Rukon. To Kenpachi, THIS time, they were sleeping in the middle of the woods on PURPOSE. That concept misses him by miles, but he'll do it to make Yachiru happy. Besides, SOMEBODY has to protect the camp from cave bears! But, Kenpachi will refuse to carry anything other than Yachiru on his shoulder, thus Ikkaku gets put on the list of things to bring camping and is promptly enlisted for Team Pack Mule. (Yumichika will refuse to go camping; It's not good for his beauty.)

Ikkaku is also tasked with pitching the tent. Mr.Muscles can't be bothered with guides to setting up tents though; he tries to get it done himself until finally Renji and Kira have to show him how it's done.

Meanwhile, Zaraki goes cave bear hunting, and he brings back a lot of meat for Kensei to cook. Retsu makes sure to get her share of his kills. She asks “politely” and who can say no to such a sweet woman?

MAYURI KUROTSUCHI AND NEMU KUROTSUCHI

Only a fool would invite Mayuri camping. First of all, it’s a miracle he decides to even GO, but coincidentally the camp trip date aligns with the days he was supposed to leave the Seireitei to collect fresh, new specimens. Naturally, Nemu tags along and joins Team PM with Shunsui, Omaeda, Shinji, Renji, Toshiro, and Ikkaku. Mayuri brings with him a portable, inflatable tent. Sadly, it didn't last 10 minutes; Yachiru thought it was a bouncy house and it exploded upon impact. There was no way Sui-Feng was giving up the extra space in her tent, so Mayuri gets Nemu to build a treehouse. Said treehouse is built in under an hour and it is where Mayuri will spend most of his time when he isn't out looking for v̶i̶c̶t̶i̶m̶s̶ animals.

Meanwhile, Nemu will be getting whisked away by Yachiru doing god-knows-what. When Yachiru isn't having her doing something that is for Nanao’s despair, Nemu and Isane will get their cameras and go bird-watching together.

Meanwhile, Mayuri will find himself in kahoots with Kenpachi. Zaraki unwittingly took an axe to Mayuri’s tree to make firewood out of it; Mayuri will have none of it.

-Mayuri: You ignorant baboon, don't you see me up here?

-Zaraki: *grunt* ‘Ey, Ikkaku, get a load of this. It's a jive-talkin’ monkey in a tree. Interestin’ huh?

-Ikkaku: Captain, that's Captain Kurotsuchi.

-Zaraki: Same thing.

-Mayuri: Specimens. All I wanted was specimens.

JUSHIRO UKITAKE AND RUKIA KUCHIKI

Camping?! Jushiro will be THRILLED to go camping! He doesn't even mind letting Rukia pick out a chappy themed duo-tent for them to share. Jushiro is the one who makes sure there are enough s’more ingredients for everyone, and he throws in extra sweets for Yachiru and Toshiro just in case. Captain Unohana goes behind him to make room for his medicines and their favorite brand of tea. Rukia adds their load to poor Renji, as she is Byakuya’s younger sister.

Jushiro will be walking with Nanao, chattering about all the fun stuff he'll be able to do with Shunsui the pack mule. Rukia watched Byakuya pitch his tent carefully and managed to pitch Fort Chappy single-handedly. The crappy themed duo-tent came with chappy-themed sleeping bags, equipped with these giant bunny ears. Jushiro is thrilled by how soft it is.

Jushiro finds fishing to be a wonderful thing to do while camping, and he brings the meat to sexy Chef Kensei to clean, prep, and cook. Later on, he busts out the s’mores for everyone and sits next to Retsu sipping the tea she slipped in his bag. She also makes sure he takes his medicine, as he is too excited and occupied to remember to do so himself. Jushiro attempts to feed a certain snow-haired captain s’mores (but ends up feeding them to Momo instead, as well as telling her embarrassing stories about Shunsui in their old, Academy days). This makes said snow-haired captain pout even more.

Meanwhile, Rukia likes to explore the lake-side with Byakuya, exploring all of the nice things there. She is also on constant defense of Fort Chappy against Renji’s jokes.