#vampire angst

[bunnis-monsters]

Yandere!Vampire who has moments where the guilt gets to him.

“Do you hate me?”

You shivered when you felt his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you close to his chest. Like usual, he felt cold and hard like a marble statue, not suitable for cuddling or laying comfortably with.

“… why do you ask?”

Not getting an immediate yes or no made him grow tense. Perhaps you should have simply answered, but you wanted to know why he would ask such a thing first.

“Well…”

He settled down with you, letting out a shaky sigh as your warmth began to seep into his flesh. Holding you almost made him feel alive again.

“I did take you away from everyone you loved… and I drink from you regularly, making you feel sick and woozy…”

Despite his evident guilt, his grip on you did not loosen.

“If you feel so bad about all of that, you could let me go,” you mumble, staring at the floor.

But he suddenly gripped you so hard you could feel the bruises begin to form.

“No. No, no I can’t do that. Never. You’re mine, if I lost you I…”

Tears welled up in the corner of his eyes as he buried his face into your hair, inhaling your scent.

“I couldn’t go on without you… can’t you understand that?”

The room grew silent for a while, and you spoke up once more just to break that crushing silence.

“… I don’t hate you, no… but I don’t know if I can love you the way you want me to… not while you hold me captive.”

He didn’t say anything, only rubbing your back, gently running his sharp nails along your spine.

Maybe you would never fall for him, but you were there and you were his. Eternally.

And that was enough for him.

————————

YANDERE TAGLIST: @katerinaval @avalordream @atransmuter @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @yoongiigolden @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @enchantedsylveon @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @wil10wthetree @hammerhead96 @slightlyusedfloormat @bubblez-blop @sunshineangel-reads @heroneki-neko @soapybabyboop @sandramalikstyles-blog @anonymouskiwi @pedropascalbabygirl @flamefoxx @an-ever-angry-bi @facelessfionna @bath1lda @ilyanadelarosa @iswearimnotadrugdealer

[microsff]

I was out on my dog's evening walk when I spotted my neighbour, the vampire.

"Long time no see," I said.

"I have been brooding."

"Oh dear!"

"You know, about how my very existence is built on evil."

"But you're feeling better now?"

"I realised, at least I'm not a billionaire."

[mothmancutie]

Tw:miscarriage

Everything was too cold, too heavy for your frail frame, even the blankets covering you feel like they weigh a ton. You weren't getting better, and you started losing hope that you would, not like you could mention it to your husband. Miroslav’s heart would come back to life just to die again if he knew. Almost as if sensing you thinking about him, he enters, a small bowl in hand.

“How are you feeling?” He questions as he approaches, placing the meal on the nightstand and helping you sit up, making sure there are enough pillows against the headboard for it to be comfortable. You simply hum, your tongue feeling like a heavy anchor in your mouth. He sits next to you, his hand resting on yours, giving a small, comforting squeeze, even if the tiredness in his eyes is unmistakable. It wasn’t surprising, while you admired his passion in anything else, you were worried when he banned the maids from tending to you, afraid they would handle you without care, so he took everything upon himself. Feeding you, bathing you, carrying you outside when it was warm to get fresh air, he handled it all. Gently, he brought the bowl to your lips, letting the blood flood into your mouth. A familiar smell hit your nose. His blood. Were you not so frail, you’d smack him across the head, and scold him for harming himself just to give you 5 minutes of relief, even if the gesture was still heartwarmingly sweet. Once you get halfway through, your body refusing to eat more, he puts the rest back on the nightstand, moving to lay next to you now. It’s not often the two of you get moments of bliss like this, between all the doctors trying to find a cure, you being so tired you’re pretty much passed out. It never hurt so much as when you saw maids carrying baby clothes from the room at the end of the hall. Just the memory makes you tear up, the same feeling of helplessness crashing over, and Miroslav notices, hands immediately wiping your tears away.

“What’s wrong?” He questions, eyes filling with understanding when you weakly move your hand to your stomach. “It’s not your fault летучая мышь. We will get you all better…Then we can try again if you want to.” His own hand moves on top of yours, thumb caressing your flat stomach with gentleness even as the memory of you crying from pain on the floor, your blood and tears mixing on the tiles of the bathroom hovers over the two of you menacingly. You didn’t know whether you were ready yet. Sure, you could blame the loss on your sickness, but what if the same happens once you get healthy? If you get healthy? Busy with your thoughts, you barely notice your eyelids growing heavy, the fuzzy tangled mess that your thoughts are becoming. You just feel the cold lips of your lover on your burning skin, the lingering promise of another qualified doctor, of the endless love flowing between the two of you until death do you apart, that maybe, just maybe, you will recover. That perhaps there is still a chance.

The series masterlist

Ik it's a bit short but I'm not sure what to write :P I'll take requests while I work on the next part tho!

[losing-dog-art]

Tbh I don't even remember starting this some lesbian spirit possessed me and then when I opened my art app it was already there almost finished. Voilà !

[syncopein3d]

Part 16: The First Lesson

M for mature themes overall. Tropes/content warnings: vampire whumpee/caretaker, male whumpee/caretaker, non-binary whumpee/caretaker, morbidity or thoughts of death. There will be a lot of play with, and discussion of, the concept of consent in this series, as it applies to many topics. Mostly we're talking about consent to be bitten, but being bitten in this universe varies from "mild discomfort" through "multiple climaxes" and I don't know where the story will end up yet, so I think it's important to be clear.

In this episode: angst, unrequited thirst.

If you would like to be added to, or removed from, the tag list of this series, please let me know! I'm back after a long hiatus due to a death in the family, and I thank you all for your patience. I will link the last episode, but also the index post in case you are brand new and want to start from the first.

Part 15: Glass of Water

Masterpost

When Arden was out of the shower, Tolly wordlessly handed them a nutrition bar, white big hand sliding into view as they opened the bathroom door. Arden lay sitting against the headboard eating for a couple of minutes, silent. Tolly sat on the end of the other bed with a wool thread he had shamefacedly folded into the duffel bag, playing at cat’s cradle with it as he watched Arden sideways.

After a while, Arden said, “Aeolus says I don’t deserve my body.”

“Well, he deserves it far less,” Tolly said. “Can he hear me?”

“Yeah. I can see him sometimes, too.” Arden described the man in the black suit with his pointed beard. “To me it looks like he’s standing by the window, glaring at you. Now me.”

“Behave, spirit. Arden’s health is your own. No one else will have you, or you would not have come so quickly when called.”

“He doesn’t like that,” Arden reported, a little smugly.

“Good. If he wants to stay, he’d better earn his keep.”

“He says he can teach me something simple now, but it won’t be powerful because he used me up so easily. Should I, Tolly?”

“Yes,” Tolly said.

Arden was silent for a while, their eyes moving left and right as if reading. They held the wadded up foil wrapper on the flat of their hand, gradually refocusing on it. “Leyline, right,” they muttered.

Tollt sat up slightly straighter as he felt hairs stand up along his spine. The wrapper lifted gently from Arden’s hand into the air, hovered there for a few seconds, and then plonked back down. They exhaled as if they’d dropped something heavy.

“Great. If we get attacked by litter, we’ll be fine,” they said.

“Was that you, or him?” Tolly asked.

“Me. He says you’re doing the Soldier’s Bed wrong.”

“He would,” Tolly said, unperturbed. His fingers worked, hooking the string and shifting it to make the Candles.

After a long minute or so, Arden said, “Tolly, I’m going to die, aren’t I?”

“No,” Tolly said calmly, unwrapping the round of wool thread to coil it neatly. It smelled like his rug. That should not have been calming, but it was. “I will not allow it. This coven –“

“The Coven of the Black Rose, for all of Washington and part of Oregon within the intersection of the Rocky Mountain and the Columbia River lines,” they recited distantly.

“This Coven of the Black Rose tried to have you killed without knowing a thing about you except that you are related to Nicholas and might have his ring. That offends me. It’s crude, stupid behavior,” Tolly said. “They also had the effrontery to shoot me, which I also do not appreciate.”

Arden’s mouth twitched, not quite a smile. “And you like me, just a little,” they said.

“We hardly know each other, child. But I recognize a debt. No, I do, don’t laugh,” Tolly protested, leaning over to carefully stow the wool thread. “You have been remarkably kind to me. I expect that will change as you gain greater understanding, but you have a generous soul.”

“I’m not a child, Tolly.”

“I was born when your great-grandfather was not even an idea. You will never not be a child to me,” Tolly said. His tone was light, mildly amused. It wouldn’t help to say things like I have known lusts and corruptions that would whiten your hair and I think of you carnally even though I am immeasurably older.

Best to distract himself from that line of thought, too. The Arden whose ecstatic end he craved, teasing, insinuating creature, wasn’t real. It was the ghost of Nicholas. He had been thirstier than this voluntarily, and for longer, and he could hold his teeth in if he made an effort, Tolly told himself.

“I’m surprised you knew how to use the sink,” Arden said. “Do you need me to explain the lights, or did you just assume ghost magic?” Thank God for sarcasm, Tolly thought. It was a caustic blanket to wrap his sanity in, but it was better than nothing.

“Hilarious,” Tolly said. “I’ve been in a room for twenty years, not 600. Even Aeolus knows what electricity is.”

“He disappeared. I think he’s sulking.”

“Or he can only manifest for short periods,” Tolly said. “He wasn’t constantly distracting Nicholas.”

“That’s a relief, anyway.”

“Try to sleep,” Tolly said. “It’ll help you recover. We’ll keep on East tomorrow night.”

Part 17: Painmother

@fleur-a-whump, @bitchaknso, @valravnthefrenchie, @thewhumpcaretaker, @currentlyinthespiral

[monstersinthecosmos]

do you ever wonder if Marius ever lapsed into depressed silence when he was in captivity, where days or weeks went by where he couldn't even find the energy to move or speak, no matter how much Mael begged him, and do you ever wonder if it has anything to do with why he understands The Parents, even when he was a young fledgling?

[celestle-m0th]

A nun had fallen in love with a beautiful young woman, after a while of secretly dating, the two decided to run away together to start anew, the nun’s lover decides to tell her the truth, she’s a vampire and of cause the nun dosen’t take it well vampires where soulless monsters after all that’s what she had been taught, they have a scuffle and the vampire bites her lover in panic, the nun turns and sees this as a act of god, believing there god had done this as punishment for them being gay, so they continue there work as a nun as way of making up for there “sin” all while there former lover watches from afar, there fear of talking to there lover all too overpowering so they wait and watch :D feel free to use with credit of cause

[poedays]

This is Sugar’s song:

“Forever young, I want to be forever young // Do you really want to live forever? // Forever, and ever

Forever young, I want to be forever young // Do you really want to live forever? // Forever young.”

[zarvasace]

This one is a shorter, more poetic piece about Red and his angst about turning into a vampire. :)

(not the one I was referencing to @fuck-em-up-your-grace but that interaction made me want to write it!)

[wolfsbanemanor]

Headcanuary 2024 Day 17: Fear

Many people fear vampires. Little do they know that vampires have their own fears. Caleb is terrified of Miss Hell, his maker. He is also afraid of himself now that he's a vampire; he doesn't want to be like her, or like his instructor, Vlad. He doesn't want to hurt people, or leave them bleeding out on filthy bathroom floors, alone, traumatized, losing consciousness, injured, clothes all damaged and disheveled, pants undone, cell phone playing a dissonant happy melody as frantic relatives try to call and get no answer. And he doesn't want to make them do anything they don't want to, be it woohoo, or "donating" blood, or being subjected to terrifying hallucinations. Lilith is terrified of being alone in the world, terrified of something happening to her brother. He's the only family she's got left, after all. Well, apart from a cousin in Moonwood Mill, but they're estranged because of the history between vampires and werewolves. You know, they tried to make it work, but Lily was in a state of fury, and inadvertently scared them off. Vlad convinced them that they don't need her anymore, there's "us" and "them." He gaslit them into believing that she doesn't care about them anymore now that she's a werewolf. (Nothing could be further from the truth.) She's also terrified of not being in control; she knows all too well how frightening that is. Her "vampire family" aspiration is a way to get back in the driver's seat after all that she's been through: the loss of her parents, the fallout from Miss Hell, losing her cousin to werebies.

[bunnis-monsters]

See you again

Male!Yandere!Vampire x Fem!Reader

Bunni’s Monstertober Event

Oct 8th

Oct 7th

Oct 9th

summary: when a rich vampire suspects you are a reincarnation of his lover, you have no choice but to return with him to his manor and become his wife.

warnings: yandere behavior, breeding, dubcon, aphrodisiac venom

a/n: sorry this is so late I’ve had horrible writers block lately ><

Moonlight flickered through the stained glass window, casting a multicolored light across your plump frame.

You almost glowed, looking like an angel sent from above.

He had spotted you across the ballroom an hour ago.

The vampire usually never came to such things, but it was a particularly lonely night for him. About 20 years ago, his human lover died in his arms. A plague had swept across the town she lived, and he hadn’t been there quick enough to turn her before the illness took her life.

He had spent all that time in agony, drifting between thoughts of suicide and loathing, to moments of bliss when he’d remember how much he loved her… and she loved him.

Tonight was the anniversary of her death, and he figured he’d drown his sorrows in the blood of the rich and expensive alcohol.

Instead, he found you.

You were sitting at a table, your elegant gown ill fired on your plump frame. Your breasts were absolutely squished by the tight fabric, and his eyes were drab to your fat belly.

If he hadn’t known any better, he would have thought you were her, his love, his everything. You had the same plump frame, eye color, hair the same texture and style…

God you were gorgeous… his pants tightened as he caught a whiff of your perfume.

The same scent she used to use.

He took in a deep breath before approaching you. Maybe a night of fun could… make him feel just a little bit better.

“Hello, beautiful…”

You didn’t look up, assuming he was talking to someone else. This made him pause for a moment before he walked closer and cleared his throat. “My lady, may I have a word with you?”

When your eyes met his, he nearly teared up. He felt an instant spark, his undead heart soaring. You had to be her, no one else had ever made him feel this way before!

“What is it you’d like to speak about?”

He sat down across from you, smiling. “How about you tell me your name?”

The two of you spent the next hour making idle small talk, with him leading most of it. You were shy and soft spoken, much like you had been in your previous life.

You had borrowed a dress from your cousin to attend this party in hopes of finding a decently wealthy husband, an order given to you by your father. That explained why your gown was ill fitting. The man frowned deeply, his fangs threatening to peek out from his lip.

He would be making sure you wore only the finest of fabrics from now on, each dress and outfit custom made to suit your figure. Gods, he wanted to undress you right now more than anything…

But things like this were a process. He didn’t want to hurt or scare you so badly that you tried to flee, and he would rather you home with him willingly. Scaring you would have to wait until you were reliant on him…

So instead he listened to your woes and leaned forward. As long as he could get close enough to your neck to deliver a bite, he could bring you home with him…

“So your father’s business isn’t doing well, I assume?”

You nodded shyly, playing with a bit of lace on your dress. “That’s why he wants me to marry quickly while he still has his status… he hopes that my future husband will support him financially enough to keep the business afloat.”

“How troublesome, being stuck in the middle of this…”

He reached out to caress your cheek, shivering when he made contact with your soft skin. “Mmm… wouldn’t it be nice to get away from it all?”

You were about to say something, but he spoke over you. “Come with me, my love… perhaps I can do something to help.”

Your eyes lit up. He was dressed well, and people seemed to respect him enough to make way for him while you walked through the crowded ballroom to somewhere private! Maybe he could help your father…

But as he closed the door, something shifted. His eyes that had previously been a rich brown in color suddenly changed to be a startling ruby red.

“Oh, how I have yearned for you…”

He was on you in seconds, pinning you to the wall. You couldn’t even scream before his teeth were sinking into your neck, something thick and warm coursing through your veins.

“My venom will help this be a pleasant experience for you, my princess… gods…”

He shivered in pleasure, his bulge pressing into your thigh as he lapped up your blood. “Fuck, I missed you, I missed you so damn much…”

Tears fell down his face, his lips meeting yours in a feverish kiss. His fangs nipped at your tongue, but he didn’t seem to care. The man needed you more than anything.

He held onto you so tightly that your skin began to bruise. It had been decades since he had seen his lover, and going so long without you had been agony. Every night he lay awake, unable to sleep or even exist in peace without you by his side.

And now that he had you back… he wasn’t going to let you go.

It took only a moment for the aphrodisiac in his venom to kick in. Your body grew hot and weak, your pussy drenched within seconds. When he pulled down the zipper of your stress, you wiggled out of it and willingly clung to him.

“S-so warm… p-please… make it better…”

Your soaked panties against his bulge made him hiss. In his twisted, lovesick mind this proved to him that you were her. You wanted him, you loved him!

“Of course…” he purred, stroking your clit through the wet fabric. “Anything for you, I’d gather the stars and lay them at your feet if it meant you’d be happy, my love…”

Seeing your fat pussy for the first time in years was enough to have him rock hard.

Back before you died, you had always wished for children, but he was too stubborn, not wanting it. When he was ready, it was too late and you were gone.

He had regretted it ever since. How he yearned to see your belly swell with his baby, to fill you up with cum and make you a happy mother…

“My pretty girl…”

He rubbed his tip against your entrance. It was flushed an angry red, desperate to feel your gummy insides. “I love you… I love you so much…”

He pushed in, capturing your lips in a kiss as he fucked into your warm cunt. All he wanted now was to cherish and protect you, to lock you away and make sure no one but him got to even look at his beautiful girl.

They didn’t deserve you, didn’t have the honor of laying their eyes on you. Only he did.

He lost count of how many times he came inside of you. The aphrodisiac in his venom had you crying out and blubbering for more, desperate for his touch. It ands his chest will with bride to watch your belly bulge with his cum.

As he road home in his carriage with your exhausted body in his lap, he couldn’t help but rub your fat belly, a fond look in his eyes.

He was getting a redo, and this time he’d give you everything you wanted, treasure you even more than he had before.

And there was nothing you could do to convince him otherwise. You were his, bound to him by fate. Even if you had no memory of this man… it was no use.

You would be with him until the day you died… if he let you.

want more? I thought about expanding on this and making it more of a thought out story… I’ll do it if you send me a kofi! ><

YANDERE TAGLIST: @katerinaval @sunset-214 @avalordream @atransmuter @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @unforgettablewhvre @yoongiigolden @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @spicyspicyliving @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @enchantedsylveon @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @wil10wthetree @hammerhead96-blog @slightlyusedfloormat @bubblez-blop @sunshineangel-reads @heroneki-neko @soapybabyboop @sandramalikstyles-blog @anonymouskiwi @pedropascalbabygirl @flamefoxx @swasti8854 @an-ever-angry-bi

[keepingupwiththecullensblog]

🌟🚗 Welcome back to “Keeping Up with the Cullens”! Today, I’m hitting rewind on the story to focus on one of the most intense parts of the saga: when Bella and Edward have to lead James away from Charlie. But I’m not just talking about the plot—I’m here to praise the *Midnight Sun* audiobook and compare it to both *Twilight* and the *Twilight* audiobook, especially when it comes to those gut-wrenching “Goodbyes” chapters. Trust me, if you haven’t listened to these audiobooks yet, you’re missing out on some serious emotional roller coasters! 🎧🧛‍♂️

As you know, I loved *Twilight* years ago. 🥰 Honestly, now I’m into books like *Outlander* (Jamie Fraser, anyone? 😏), but I thought revisiting the *Twilight Saga* as an adult would be fun—making fun of my old crush, Edward, from my early 20s. 😂 But here I am, deep-diving into *Midnight Sun* and the audiobooks, and I can’t believe how much I’m analyzing (and still making fun of) this series! Who knew sparkly vampires could still capture my attention? 🧛‍♂️✨

Let’s talk about that “Goodbyes” chapter in *Twilight*. You’d think a scene where Bella is forced to lie to Charlie, leave him behind, and run for her life would be dripping with emotion, right? Well, not so much in the audiobook. 😬 Don’t get me wrong—no offense to the narrator, Ilyana Kadushin, but her reading of that chapter left me feeling a little... underwhelmed. 😐 It was like listening to someone reading a grocery list rather than a life-or-death situation. Maybe it was the director's choice, but either way, the emotion just wasn’t there. I mean, Bella is supposed to be terrified, desperate, and heartbroken, but the delivery was flat. You need to feel the tension, the fear, the urgency—and, unfortunately, it didn’t quite hit the mark for me. 😕📖 It’s like Bella was reading her breakup lines off a cue card. You’d expect more drama from someone who’s about to fake-break her dad’s heart and then flee from a murderous vampire! 🥀

But OMG, let me tell you—*Midnight Sun*’s audiobook is a game-changer. 🙌 Jake Abel, who narrates *Midnight Sun*, absolutely nails it. He reads Bella’s part with so much emotion that it’s like you’re hearing her cry and yell in real-time. And honestly, that chapter needed it! 😭 The way he brings Bella’s terror and heartbreak to life is so intense that it’s impossible not to feel it. The difference is night and day. While *Twilight*’s audiobook felt like a distant memory, *Midnight Sun* pulled me right back into the chaos and desperation of that moment. It’s the perfect example of how a great narrator can completely change the experience of a book. 🎧💥 Jake Abel made me feel like I was in the room with Bella, crying and panicking, and it was everything I didn’t know I needed! 😅

But it doesn’t stop there. Throughout the entire *Midnight Sun* audiobook, Jake Abel is fantastic at switching tones and voices for the different characters. His Edward is spot-on—full of angst, confusion, and that deep, obsessive love that we all secretly swooned over back in the day. 💔 He really brought Book Edward to life in a way that makes you understand his internal struggles on a whole new level. It’s like hearing Edward’s voice in your head, and suddenly, all those dramatic monologues make perfect sense. Jake’s performance is so good that it might just make you fall for Edward all over again. 😅❤️ It’s like he’s channeling Edward’s inner drama queen with every word—seriously, I had flashbacks to all the times I swooned over this sparkly vampire back in the day! 😂✨

I mean, let’s be real—Rob Pattinson is the perfect Movie Edward, no doubt. 🖤 But when it comes to the book version of Edward, Jake Abel takes the crown. 👑 His narration is everything I didn’t know I needed from *Midnight Sun*. He captures Edward’s torment, his love for Bella, and his struggle with his vampire nature in such a compelling way that it’s hard not to get swept up in it all over again. Rob and Jake together would be like the ultimate Edward dream team! 😍 Imagine Rob’s smoldering looks paired with Jake’s emotional voice acting—my heart wouldn’t survive! 😵💖

So, if you’re looking for a way to experience *Midnight Sun* on a whole new level, I highly recommend the audiobook. 🎧 And if you’ve already read *Twilight* and felt like something was missing, give *Midnight Sun* a listen—you might just find that the story hits a little harder when you can hear Edward’s pain, fear, and love in every word. 🔥 Trust me, it’s worth the emotional rollercoaster—stock up on tissues and get ready to feel all the feels! 😭🎢

I might write one more post about *Midnight Sun*—specifically that insane car chase—before I move on to *New Moon*. 🚗💨 Seriously, the way Edward steals a car like he’s auditioning for *Fast & Furious*—it’s almost too much! It’s just so over-the-top dramatic that I can’t not talk about it. There’s just so much more to discuss! 📚 Until then, keep your eyes peeled for more deep dives into the world of sparkly vampires, teenage drama, and all the things that made us fall in love with this saga in the first place. 💫✨

[grappel-writes]

Fire's Hot, and other obvious things.

"Yes, the fire is hot. No need to check it again, I can promise you it'll be the same every time." "Really? Figured that out in the two hundred years you've got on me?" "That, and more."

---

Orion and Astarion discuss the past, firsts, and what it means to be 'sort of' in a relationship. Inspired by his lines at the tiefling party if you tell him you shouldn't sleep together again, and choosing him over Wyll.

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50555917

Angst, emotional trauma, other kinds of trauma, Orion backstory, and waxing poetic about what it means to be in sort of a relationship.

These were Orion’s favorite nights, when he offered to take the first watch, and Astarion stayed up with him anyway. There were plenty of explanations, perhaps Astarion was hoping he’d get to feed on the half-elf before hunting for the night, or waste the time away satisfying different hungers (irresponsible as it was). Perhaps it was that they had grown closer than the others in this time, and had saved each other in battle more times than they’d like to count. Astarion catching traps right before Orion would stumble through them, or the way Orion would step in front of the other to take a strike for him, only to turn and ask if he was okay anyway with blood running down his own face. There was a safety with each other that was undeniable, even while being very aware that they had a couple of ways to easily kill each other. Every single moment, they chose to protect, instead.

The campfire crackles quietly in a comfortable silence until it’s tossed up in a flurry of sparks and ash as Orion tosses another log into the pit. Carelessly, he turns it with a bare hand, pushing aside and exposing the hot coal bed to release more heat. He moves it with brief touches, pulling his hand back and shaking it when the heat is too much. Astarion scoffs at him, “Yes, the fire is hot, no need to check it again. I can promise you it’ll be the same every time.” “Really? Figured that out in the two hundred years you’ve got on me?” Orion claps his hands to knock off any dust and ash before taking his spot next to Astarion again. It’s comfortable, but there’s still a tension that makes his stomach flip when they’re alone like this. Makes him easier to flush, easier to smile, and other things that make him look like a fool, he’s sure. 

“I have, and many other things.” Astarion rests back on his hands, shoulders swaying back and forth as he lets himself be hypnotized by the growing flames. “While you were busy not existing, I also learned people, how to have a good time, how to kill quietly, and I might even remember some law. Though…” he tilts his head, clicks his tongue, “Who knows if it’s changed since I last read up on it.” 

“With the number of humans that have been running things lately, I’m sure it has.” Orion pulls looses his hair, shakes it before pulling those stray pieces around his face back again. “Can you blame them? Jobs like that and with such a short amount of time to do anything with it, they have to make their mark somehow. Not all of us get eternity.”

“They should be more mindful of those of us that do…” Astarion pouts, still swaying, “But what about you, half-human?” the next sway is closer, indulging himself the pleasure of watching the flickering firelight dance shadows across Orion’s face. “You don’t have eternity either, have you ever thought about leaving your mark, as it were?” “Besides the obvious?” Orion points to his head with a laugh, then lets his look go back up to the stars, the same ones that had looked over both of them their whole lives apart, but now seemed to be a more rapt audience to their shared nights. “That’s a big question… hard for me to think of much else past the next crisis.” That’s… fair. Astarion remembers that well. It was impossible to even conceive that there would still be days, months, years to come when the current moment was hell. When he was trapped, he fought to think of the future, fought to remind himself that it could be better, could be different. Even still, there were plenty of days where all that existed was each single, hellish moment, and trying to imagine years of that was only further torture. “Perfectly understandable. Fine then, surely you’ve done something already that’s left your mark? A rival, a conquest, a…” He waves a hand in the air as if to conjure the next word, “well I don’t know! What exactly does a rich bastard son living a life of leisure do other than make enemies and lovers?”

Orion laughs, a tinge of red dusting the ends of his ears. It’s strange for him, talking to a man who lived similarly, but doesn’t remember it. It could have been something they compared notes about, if the situation was different. 

“Nearly everything but that, actually. I got pretty good at card and yard games… Lots of studying. Lots of history lessons, music, math, they tried to teach me basic magic but,” he clears his throat, and outstretches a palm. He’s clearly focusing hard on it while sparks sputter and die out in a pathetic display. Astarion gives a quiet, sarcastic little clap. 

“Exactly. That’s okay, turns out I was pretty strong. When I wasn’t doing those things I was running drills, practicing…” he can feel the boredom radiating off of Astarion, an almost pitying look of disbelief that his life had been so mundane. “That’s not to say I never did anything else though…” “Did you really? I don’t know if I believe you. How could you have managed to sneak in some companionship after all those thrilling days of fighting wooden dummies and reciting poetry?” “Well, sort of.” Orion rubs a hand over his jaw, a nervous fidget that only interests the vampire more. 

“Sort of? You’ve never been noncommittal about anything for a moment I’ve known you, but with a lover suddenly it’s ‘soft of?’” he laughs, not the graceful laugh, the loud one that makes Orion smile, too. “All that money and free time, and none of the responsibility of a political marriage. Why not? I’m glad you got some ‘sort of’. If I hadn’t been stalking around under orders, if I had met you while I was bored out of mind as a magistrate, I would’ve loved to have been a ‘sort of’ with you.” He means it as a joke, but Orion’s dropped look indicates he’s cut truer than he intended. “Oh. Oh, there’s a story here.” He leans forward, mixed concern and interest in his furrowed brow. 

The Astarion that had met Orion would pull on that thread with all he’s got. Little flirts and sweet words made the fighter open up so easily for him. Recently though, he walks away from those encounters feeling… dirty. After everything Orion had done, Astarion couldn’t bear being another player to his downfall within his own camp. So instead, he blinks, pulls his voice away from his playing cadence. “Maybe one you don’t want to tell…? We can pretend you never said anything, if you’d like.” Orion scoffs and waves a hand like it isn’t a bother, like his gold didn't lose its luster when it came up. 

“There was a girl.” “I see,” Astarion tries to stifle his interest, looking back to the fire, “Your ‘sort of’? What happened?” Orion shrugs, “And… then there wasn’t. I’m not sure what else to say.” “Did she die? Was she ritualistically sacrificed? Was she just… sent away?” Astarion’s talking with his hands, gesturing over their shared space. Orion had never talked about the people he knew, outside of his immediate family, before. A hard shell to open, and Astarion was amazed he was doing it so willingly, with so little work, and how much better it felt to let Orion make this decision on his own. 

“No, no, nothing so dramatic.” he laughs and glances nervously back up to the vampire. “I can tell you, but you have to promise that it doesn’t change anything between us. I don’t want you to think less of me because of it.”

That nearly makes Astarion’s stolen blood run impossibly colder. “I can’t think of anything that would. Short of her also being a vampire, and then we’d have much to discuss.” “Hah, no, not that I’m aware of.” “Okay, then I’m sure I can handle it.” 

Orion breathes deep, “Her name’s Fermine, and she and I knew each other for a long time. We were friends as kids, and then we were always close. Her, me, and my brother.” “How… endearing.” “Her parents didn’t think so. I liked her… a lot.” Orion turns to face Astarion better now, an open posture that the other man wasn’t expecting in a confession like this. “She liked me, too. It seemed so simple and obvious to us. Until we got much older, and then my brother told me he had always liked her as well. It was simple and obvious to him, too.” Astarion is silent and leans forward, hooked. “He’s the oldest, unmarried, and our mom’s actual son.” he sighs, eyes dropping back to the fire, but not remorsefully. “Her parents had apparently been discussing it for a long time, and Fermina’s very good at being an oldest daughter. Her family would have been lost for a generation, at least. She didn’t want that. But… it’s okay. We got to be kids together. And she does like him, for his own reasons. And Dallin loves her more than the world. She wouldn’t have agreed to it if she couldn’t be happy with him.” There’s a beat where nothing can be heard but the fire crackling. “They’re engaged now.”

Then he breathes deep, a light smile coming back when he looks at Astarion, whatever haunting emotions about the woman he claimed didn’t matter dissolving back into the night air. “We were abducted not long after they announced the wedding date. They must think I’ve run off of a broken heart or petty jealousy. That’ll be a fun conversation when we make it back home. But, really, I’m happy for them.”

“So your brother steals away the woman you love, and you’re happy for it?” Astarion’s too lost in his own head to make sense of it. Orion was generous, he knew, and cared for his family but to the point of self denial like this…? 

“Yeah, yeah I know.” He laughs, “But I love them both, and I’m happy that they’re happy.” “What happened to not having eternity, Orion? To making a mark and getting what’s yours in your short life?” The vampire’s voice is rising, nearly demanding, but the fighter just looks confused, gives the man a full once over. 

“They’re both humans, they’ve got even less time and they’re better matched.” He glances away, “But I don’t want you to think I’m some sort of perfect saint, either. I was furious when I’d found out. That they always knew and never wanted to break the news to me… But I’d never let them know that, not when so many people were counting on it, I couldn’t step between all that good. Didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of knowing they bothered me, either.” A small, self satisfied smile before he clears his throat and continues. “But it did feel like betrayal, being hurt by the people who said they’d always support me, being reminded that at the end of the day that’s their world, not mine. They just allow me to live there when I’m not inconvenient.” 

“At least you didn’t tilt your hand. Look, I know it’s not your typical modus operandi, but think of the position this puts you in.” He leans closer conspiratorially, pointing at his own temple to designate their new illithid granted authority. “You could go back home and wrest that authority from them. Let them be married and happy, sure, live the short life of leisure they’ll have. Then you could step forward and act in their place, as someone more fair and reasonable, of course. It’s not like you’re doomed because of your lineage, and those that don’t accept you, you’ll have the power to make them.” 

Orion looks thoughtful, as if he’s considering it, but he laughs it off. “Maybe. Maybe you’re right. I don’t think I could do that to them, but a stronger man could.” Astarion deflates, falling back into a slump again, the fighter is hopeless.

“And maybe I’d consider it if I was still hurt, but I’m not mad about it anymore. Ever since being abducted, infected, fighting through the wilds with little rest and cultists hunting us. It puts things in perspective, there are more important things out there than political weddings.” “Mhmm, like friendship and community, I’m sure?” 

Orion smiles fondly at him, obviously having not learned his lesson about things that feel simple and obvious. Just as Astarion has perfected pulling the threads that make Orion unravel, the fighter in turn has discovered the cracks in Astarion’s prickly defenses. Instead of prying at them and forcing them open, he just acknowledges them, speaks to them directly. It’s warm and terrifying all at the same time. “Sort of, now I care about things like the morning sun, new starts, being surrounded by people I never would have met otherwise, but I’d lay my life down for now. Getting to live another day. And getting to meet you, Astarion. Sorry if I’m being blunt, but you’ve been my favorite part of all of this.” At first Astarion wants to dismiss those words, a tired line he had used himself to wrap unsuspecting victims around his finger, but this is different. This is Orion. This man doesn’t lure, or manipulate, he’s only ever said what he meant and lived up to his words to prove it.  

A gnawing dread begins to eat away at Astarion’s confidence. All that work to pull Orion in and lay him bare had worked, and now that he had accomplished it, he was forced to look into the past. Into this golden face that was just like the faces of other men that had been so sweet and trusting, and he had betrayed. He was free now, he didn’t have to live like that, but here he was, doing it again of his own accord. Repeating the process, pulling another man who just wanted to love him down. He can’t linger on that though, instead, he lets the other questions drift forward in his mind. More pressing ones. 

“This woman… was she the only one you ever slept with?” Orion looks away immediately, almost turning fully away from the sudden question. “I… what do you mean? What do you define as…?” “So - not sex?” “We, I mean.” he laughs, shrugs, obviously over his head with the topic. “I guess? This is the part where you’re not supposed to let anything be different.” The dread becomes a pit, sucking in all those rosy, fleeting feelings Astarion had dared to feel everytime the sun hit his skin and Orion smiled at him, and crushes them under a weight of guilt. A proper punishment for what he had done, he supposes.

“Orion, was I your first?” He moves closer, wanting to turn his face to him, but touching the other man feels like even more of a sin now. 

The half-elf pinches his brows with concern, looks back so soft and trusting the vampire can’t stand it. “In a few ways, yes.” “...Why didn’t you tell me?” Another shrug, Orion obviously on edge now. “Would it have changed anything? You seemed like you had a plan, you were clear about what it was and what would be happening I just-” he pushes a hand through his hair, feeling criticized and embarrassed about the whole thing. Of course Astarion didn’t know, at his age it would have been a strange assumption to make. And he had wanted it, so why did it matter? It wasn’t at all how he had pictured things would happen, but any day could be their last and he took hold of an opportunity. Why wasn’t that simple?  “I was excited, I had fun. Astarion, I wouldn’t have wanted it to go any differently. I wouldn’t have wanted you to do anything special or treat me like something that could have been broken. I thought maybe we’d get more time before, but you -” He swallows hard, a confession he wasn’t ready for nearly coming through. 

The vampire sits back, putting space between them again, trying to look composed while also trying to put out the wildfire of complications that are threatening to burn him down. Of course this had happened before, when he picked from the masses indiscriminately, there was bound to be a varied spectrum of experiences. He had never remembered any of them before, never cared about them. Never slept back to back with, fought with, was cared for by any of those targets. None of them were Orion. 

Once upon a time, back when he had daydreams that weren’t about escape, about getting a night in a proper bed, and when he didn’t have an ungodly hunger, it would have changed everything. He would have wanted to court and swoon the bright faced, scandalous son of a noble family for all it was worth. The stories it would have started, the nights they would have shared in tense suspense, prolonging the inevitable while they did the work of getting to know each other, because that’s what they both would have wanted before they thought their lives might be over. Nights gossipping back and forth at boring dinner parties, drawing the looks and gossip in return of other guests, before they’d steal away to the garden. Being his ‘sort of’.

Astarion’s far away look is drawn back, reigned in, and with a practiced effort he puts all of those could have been emotions back in the vault where they belonged. Imagining things like that would only hurt them, it wasn’t what they had and they never would. This had started as just a way to secure protection, but now he knew in some way, he had to make this right. It’s a daunting task he knows nothing about, but he folds his hands on a knee and tries his best.  “You know, I’m a bit more traveled than you,” Astarion starts, the careful mask slipping. “But, that night meant something to me. It was special, not because of it being your first, but because I’ve been on my back tens of thousands of times, and forgotten over half of them… but that night we shared. I’ll always remember you.”

In the grass, of all places. Astarion was used to working with little, but nothing was a new challenge. Orion had been inexperienced, he could tell, but had written it off because of lack of a full night’s sleep in at least a tenday, on top of the exhaustions of camp living. If he had been more present, more aware of what was happening and not retreated back into his mind, let habit take over… It would have been different. Conscious and intentional. Orion had been impossibly open, trusting, and Astarion didn’t even have the ability to be fully aware during it. The half-elf had offered everything to him, the first person he had ever drank from, and given that again during his own first time? Years of doing this and it was novel that Astarion had ever felt like the other person was there because of him and not just for their own pleasure. Not just using the vampire’s looks as a means to an end. It could have been awful, and he feels like Orion would have been just as happy, if only to have his undivided attention for the night. More frightening a thought than that, Astarion felt the same way. 

Orion reaches forward to flip the newly added log again, half eaten away and glowing red in the middle now, but the edge still outside of the flame is safe. When it burns his hand anyway, he lets it. “I’m not sure what I did to impress you like that, but… I’m glad I did. It was special to me, too. Um.” His face is burning now, hoping that leaning this close to the fire will be a suitable excuse for it. “Ah, I don’t know, Astarion, I just don’t want things to be weird now. It’s like a trade, right? I was your first bite, you were my first bedding.” “Right, a trade.” even now, Orion’s worried about him. Astarion wishes he could escape, undo it all, go back to that night and try his damndest to do it all over again. But would he even be capable of that? Or had he become too tainted, doomed to poison everything he touched?

They sit in silence for another moment while Orion pretends like the fire needs tending. When he can’t distract himself with that any more, he sits back and crosses his legs. An intentional gap of cold space between them. Astarion chooses to fill it with words. “You said you didn’t want me to think less of you - why would I do that?” “Because I don’t want you to ever think I’d let you go so easily.” 

The vampire falls straight into survival mode. It’s so much, too much vulnerability, openness, a security he doesn’t know how to handle because these words had always been lies. To face it as a truth when he was not worthy of it, he doesn’t know how to manage it without retreating again. Of course, he’s a professional at hiding things by now, and would never let anyone know how things inside of him are ripping apart all over again. “Really? I’m surprised, I figured we’d go back home and you could discover your true love, someone fair and just as feel-good as you are. Of course, you’d never forget me though. So, when you get bored with them, I’m always here to be a lovely little affair.” Orion smiles, but shakes his head in disbelief, “No.” Astarion is begging for this to not be true, for him to change his mind and validate all of his fears, but of course he doesn’t. They continue to hurtle forward into unexplored, undeserving territory that he can’t handle. “No matter where we go, I don’t want you to end up as just my ‘sort of’.”

Why him? He was a desecrator, a manipulator, and it was so obvious. Why didn’t Orion just run? Why didn’t he? Drawn in, intoxicated, heart fluttering in a way that only promised pain and ruin, Astarion only leans closer and accepts that eventually they’ll both just have to face the hurt. Fine, let them both burn, for this moment, for everyone they had shared before, whether he’s able to actually be there for it or not, he’s powerless to stop this from tumbling into destruction. But for now, he can postpone it a little longer. “I… think I would like that. One day. When we’re not fighting for our lives, maybe. But for now, let’s just have fun with ‘sort of’.”

[scrumptious-finicky-illusion]

I can feel this in my soul.

The light in this. Look at the light - the way you can see just where it's coming from, like if you tilted the canvas you could see it shining down.

I offer only vampire angst today I'm afraid 😗

#Art #Astarion #bg3

[syncopein3d]

Part 18: Weight of Dawn

Tropes/content warnings: M for mature themes overall. Tropes/content warnings: vampire whumpee/caretaker, male whumpee/caretaker, non-binary whumpee/caretaker, morbidity or thoughts of death. There will be a lot of play with, and discussion of, the concept of consent in this series, as it applies to many topics, but mostly biting.

In this episode: Recovery tropes mostly, semiconsciousness

If you would like to be added to, or removed from, the tag list of this series, please let me know!

Part 17: Painmother

Masterpost

Tolly had his taloned hands on the silly little wheel of the Kia Soul. He was over there to Arden’s left in the dark, bars of light passing over him every now and again, making the whiteness of his flesh blinding. Aeolus’ voice was almost there, dim and far away, coldly angry, out of reach.

Sometimes Tolly said something, too. Sometimes he had a hand on Arden’s shoulder, cold, heavy, but better than just the constant all-over ache. He had such huge hands. Vampires were supposed to be fancy and thin, weren’t they?

“God, you shouldn’t be driving.” That sounded like Arden’s voice, except worse.

“One of us must, and you are in no condition. We can worry about renewing my license later.”

It was darker and darker and lighter. The rumble of traffic felt louder. Someone was moaning about the extra vibration, because it made the ache worse.

“I know. I’m sorry,” that was Tolly again. “We still have an hour to go, but no more, I promise.”

It probably was about that long. Probably. They hadn’t heard Aeolus in a while. Maybe he’d given up. There was kind of a ringing in their ears they hadn’t been able to hear earlier, so it must be quieter outside the car. They should probably open their eyes to check. It felt like a lot of effort.

Car door opening to their right. Cold arms gathering them up, like they weighed nothing.

“I have you. Just try to relax.”

“Tolly?”

“Yes, still. Shhh, now.” Air moved past them – was he running? There was a sizable THUD, like he’d run right into a wall, then a grind and screech of old machinery. Light and dark and light again passed behind Arden’s eyelids.

Sound came and went. At some point hands were pulling their shoes off, then, against their fuzzy protest, their pants and socks. It felt too cold, but a reassuring voice sent them sliding away from sounds again.

This time, they stayed gone longer. When they came back, the ache was still there, waiting. Arden groaned into something warm - pillow? They were lying on their side with their cheek on something that didn’t seem very soft. Arden squinted their gluey eyes open slowly. A gently glowing dial on a cord lay not far from their face: an electric blanket.

A few facts slowly began to show notifications on the lock screen of Arden’s brain. The room around them was mostly dark, lit by the glow of the blanket control and the screens of two phones that looked to be sitting about three feet away. They might be on a table. The dim shape of cords said they were plugged in. There was a faint smell of bleach and maybe dust. A nest of blankets and sheets surrounded them.

When they stirred slightly, something heavy around their shoulder became an arm, limp fingers brushing their chest. Arden’s eyes popped all the way open. They were lying on Tolly. Tolly’s shirt. They were in bed with Tolly and they had no pants on. They sat up hurriedly. The arm slid off with a slithering little thump and no seeming effect on the heavy body beside Arden otherwise. Tolly was not breathing. Arden’s heart jumped in their chest for a second until they remembered.

It must be daytime. Arden peered under the sheet suspiciously. Tolly had sweat pants and socks on, and a gray tee shirt. That was a small comfort in the cold light of the realization that Arden had only their dark red boxer briefs on, but it was something. They groped across Tolly to get their phone, trying not to elbow him in the chin. The undead didn’t move or react, eyes shut. Not ashes. Not dead, Arden reminded themselves.

Arden ducked all the way under the covers, hidden in a small warm world as they unlocked the phone. 2 p.m. on Saturday. Okay, they’d left the lodge Friday night, before –

A shudder ran through them. They remembered power running through them, hot and cold like sticking your finger in a light socket, burning as it went. They remembered Aeolus hissing instructions, demanding they use some spell they couldn’t make work, swearing at the one they did use – fuck. They’d torn someone apart. They’d torn someone apart. They remembered too clearly what it had felt like to intrude fingers of power into a living body and then just separate them from themselves. They were sure they’d killed another woman, too, not just the Painmother, but the image of what had happened to the second one was vaguer.

“I told you to disintegrate them, you thundering idiot. Now there are bodies.” That was an irritatingly familiar voice. He couldn’t see Aeolus currently, but the source seemed to be outside the blanket, muffled. Aeden received a fleeting impression of the man in the black suit standing at the end of the bed, leaning forward with his hands resting on it.

“Go fuck yourself, Aeolus,” Arden mumbled into the mattress. “We were lucky I could do anything at all. You’re the worst teacher in the universe.”

“Miserable, ungrateful little wretch. I saved your life!”

“No, you tortured me inside my own brain for three weeks. Tolly saved my life.”

“You’ll learn how real the outer world is soon enough,” Aeolus said, a sneer in his voice.

“Maybe. I know you weren’t doing that to Uncle Nick all the time. And I think you would’ve if you could’ve. So he stopped you. I can, too.”

“For that, you’d have to actually learn, whelp. And not these clumsy flailings and tearings. Control. Wisdom. Thought.”  

Now that the connection was weaker, Arden’s body empty of power, the connection that bound them to Aeolus was a constant small irritation, easier to identify, harder to miss, like a splinter in their head. They could touch it, almost, if they shut their eyes. What would happen if they pulled?

It hurt. It hurt like someone pulling on the end of a severed muscle anchored into their soul. But it must have hurt Aeolus more, because his scream rattled on for long seconds after they let go.

STOP! He wasn’t able to simulate sound in Arden’s ears now. Pain twanged between them.

This hurts you more than me, Arden told him.

I don’t have to stay and give you power, Aeolus said sullenly. I can just leave. I can break the summoning bond and return to the place between.

Yes. But you don’t. Whatever being attached to me does for you, you want it bad, Arden said. Maybe you’re just waiting on another chance at possession, I don’t know. Right now, I don’t care. If you want to stay, you can teach me, but you’re not going to hurt me. Or I will hurt you back.

You MUST learn disintegration. For our safety.

Later. Arden crept out from under the covers, wincing. The movement seemed to tweak every muscle in their body, like they’d run a marathon and then been beaten with tire irons afterward. Tolly hadn’t moved, still a corpse for all intents and purposes. Arden shined their phone light around the room. There was the night stand where the phones had been, a door standing partway open into a walk-in closet, a door standing all the way open into a small bathroom with a standing shower, and a door that was closed.

They went to look out Door Number Three out of curiosity. The floor underfoot was hard and cold, and a glance down with the phone said it was hardwood or maybe pergo. The door opened into a room with a couch against one wall facing a flatscreen TV. The other half of the room was taken up by a kitchenette with all steel appliances. It was all empty and stark, a small print of the ocean above the couch just emphasizing how little else there was in the way of decoration. Nothing in it was personal, like – Arden’s mind ran back over the elaborate artistic designs Tolly had carved into the wall of his cell. This wasn’t a place he would live, just a place to hide.

They couldn’t see anything that looked like a front door. Maybe there was a secret lever somewhere or something. There was a sort of distant rumble all around, like maybe traffic, but it was too faint to tell. Arden went into the bathroom and shut the door, then turned the light on. It took a minute for their eyes to adjust. Then they remembered that they’d unlocked their phone, and their messages had shown a notification.

Arden opened the message app. It was a text from Tolly.

I’ve done my best to make the place presentable, but the weight of dawn is growing heavy again and I must sleep. Please don’t leave without me. Please wake up. Please read this.

They stood there reading and re-reading it for an embarrassingly long time. Then they set the phone down carefully on the steel sink and –

There was a little cupboard to one side of the sink that was made of wicker. A folded pile of Arden’s clothes sat on top of it. They hadn’t packed them nearly that neatly. Tolly had taken them out of the spinner and re-folded them right here so that Arden would find them.

They showered and dressed and brushed their teeth quickly, tied their hair back sloppily, and went to sit on the edge of the bed by Tolly, leaving the bathroom door open a little to see by. The indentation they made in the mattress didn’t shift the vampire’s larger weight. Arden picked up his cold hand and held it to their chest.

“I’m all right,” they told him. “You don’t need to worry.”

The deep-set eyes slitted open a very little under the heavy brows, the gleam of the light reflecting from the backs of them like it would from a deer or a cat. Arden heard him inhale. It felt loud.

“Arden,” Tolly whispered. The hand on their breast flexed slightly, pressing closer to their heart. They swallowed.

“Yeah. You can sleep, I just wanted you to know I’m okay.”

Tolly turned his fingers to clasp their hand, then withdrew back under the covers, shutting his eyes.

Part 19: Underground (Coming Soon!)

@fleur-a-whump, @valravnthefrenchie, @thewhumpcaretaker, @currentlyinthesprial, @jumpywhumpywriter

[rat-kingster]

I fucking HATE sunrise