#vivitext

[vivisheadspace]

is it normal to be dysphoric over not being conjoined with another girl? I think I'm slowly going insane

Believe it or not, the intense longing to be a conjoined girl has been so ingrained into my being, that I literally don't have memories of me not wanting to be conjoined at any point of my life! At my youngest, I'd wish every day that I'd somehow "grow another head" and... well it's clear I never grew out of that, haha...

In fact, I theorize that this feeling was so intense that it actually somewhat obfuscated in my mind that I was transgender as well! It's a bit tricky to recognize gender identity when you have a constant longing for another aspect... Granted, I probably should have figured it out a bit sooner when I started having fantasies in high school about having a conjoined trans sister who I transitioned alongside, since "I really wouldn't mind and it seemed nice!" Mhm, yeah, totally nothing there to examine...

On a more direct note, having spent a lot of time with therian/otherkin and plural friends especially, yeah it's not terribly uncommon to feel very genuine gender-tangential dysphoria or euphoria involving traits that go beyond what are typically seen as traditionally gendered traits. I really can't recommend enough to explore these feelings with someone you trust, in digital OR physical spaces!! Roleplaying definitely helps, at least a little!

[vivisect]

watching princess tutu for the first time: what in the toxic yaoi....

me later: ohhh okay, so hes literally trying to keep this mf alive

[vivisheadspace]

I only ever watched mlp as a kid (yes a boy watching mlp, I got bullied alot-) who's your favourite? Pinkie was probably mine :3

(To note, I've only rewatched through season 2 as of writing this, and pretty much everything going forwards will be new to me! Thanks for the ask!)

[vivisheadspace]

yknow I was wondering why conjoinment is like a "thing" for some people. do you think it stems from some form of separation anxiety, or a desire for that level of intimacy? I know it's some real armchair psychology, but I think it's kinda fun to think about stuff like that I guess, lol

Speaking from personal experience, I can say with absolute certainty that separation anxiety played a role in mine! I've heard enough horror stories about my separation anxiety as a baby to know that the idea of "someone always being here with me no matter what" would have been very appealing to me. Even today, if it was possible, I'd prefer to live stuck to a close friend or two than have to leave them physically for so long.

Also, talking from my asexual perspective, I feel like there's a lot of appeal to the interpersonal dynamic that'd come from the restrictions of conjoinment! Consider a whole body and the physical sensations that come with it being shared - to me it would ease or even fully circumvent the barriers that come from my sex repulsion. On top of that, it's a type of intimacy that doesn't come with any preestablished social expectations, so to indulge with someone inherently already means only what you want it to!

Additionally is the representation of plurality. In terms of multiple identities/parts/what-have-you in a system, it can make sense to find appeal in, and desire to represent yourself as, a conjoined figure. Many of my fellow plural friends in this circle find comfort and "gender" in this type of form, though the intricacies there too vary from system to system!

Of course, there are even more facets to this interest too! One day, I think it would be nice for this interest in whole to be more professionally examined. Fetishes and their tangents are massively under-studied, and I believe have the potential to tell us a lot about the human experience! Thank you for the inquiry, and I hope I didn't talk both of your ears off simultaneously, haha...!

[vivisheadspace]

Well, I suppose everything has been caught up with now! Who's ready to see some entirely previously unseen content?! :D

[vivisheadspace]

Hey folks!! Since both the sites I used in the past have the potential to implode at any time, I’m setting up shop here now as well! You might’ve known this as “HeadboyHijinks” before, but that name reflected my relationship with an audience, rather than me! So here’s instead a more authentic account - a headspace perhaps in multiple senses - to post my more intimate art and maybe thoughts to! In the upcoming days, I’ll be slowly archiving all of my completed works I’ve made since I started posting elsewhere! I’m thinking of posting some unseen stuff too! Hope to see ya around!

[vivisect]

men in their 50s and 60s are trying to bully me on facebook because of comments i made on local news articles about the silly truck parade and residential schools (different articles, different comments, but they must have searched for my name 🤷🏻‍♀️)

they keep calling me princess, sunshine, cupcake etc…. makes me feel so twee and precious lol 😊😊😊

[vivisect]

i went to go preorder animal crossing from london drugs (because fuck eb games) and the nice middle aged lady at almost sold it to me

two days in advance

meanwhile i was trying to give off as many “mom who doesnt know anything about games” vibes as possible while i was screaming inside. her coworker caught her at the last second

[vivisect]

why the FUCK cant i play dress up on fire emblem 3 houses!!!!!

why does nintendo think i bought this shit?? for the love of strategy games????

[vivisect]

HMMM 3 hours into 3 houses and i cant get into it at all. i cant get past the story... why am i a teacher...... im just this guys kid??? how am i supposed to teach if i cant talk

WHY cant i talk...

[vivisect]

i wrote an email to a prof because the digital classroom hadn’t been made accessible to me yet (sometimes it takes up to 48 hours when you enrol in a class) and she bitched me the fuck out because 1) all the information i asked for was on the digital classroom and it wasnt her problem if i didn’t have access to it 2) my email signature decided not to show up so she gave me a short lecture on the basic etiquette of email and how not signing your name is a bitch move

like i know you teach first years almost exclusively and im sure they do this shit a lot but jfc lady way to make me want to drop the class

[vivisect]

i got two assignments due tomorrow that i havent started so u KNO i gotta be on ffnet (which I havent logged in to in like 5 years) reading my old reviews

catch 11 year old me saying shit like “s3x3h~” and ending sentences with “desu ne”

[vivisect]

i bought a ps4 to play 76 with @fancyladssnacks but i haven’t bought it yet. BUT my ps4 slim came with horizon zero dawn and jfc im going to cry i love this game already

[vivisect]

welp finally bought mass effect andromeda lol

it was $10 lol

[vivisect]

finished horizon zero dawn

aloy is my child and i share joint custody with her 20 other parental figures

[vivisect]

that depression feel when u take your christmas tree down in june