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shimzus-a3 · 4 years ago

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@kainan asked — willow + violet + goldenrod + hibiscus + hollyhock. last but not least [insertflowername]: do it [redacted] ?

willow : how does your muse handle sadness & depression ?

once upon a time i wrote a headcanon about how shimizu handles stress , and i think a lot of the same coping mechanisms she uses to handle moments of overwhelming pressure apply regardless of if that pressure is stress / sadness / depression. i note that shimizu is the type of person who likes having some semblance of control around her surroundings , because she thrives in routine / order / security. that means for abstract stressors or emotional pressures , it’s harder for her to find something to lock into securely. usually , to cope , she finds something tangible that she can anchor herself to. in japan , the idea of ‘ seiso ’ ( 5s system ) is taught to young children as a way of keeping their surroundings clean and functional. it’s the reason why schoolchildren are made to clean their own classrooms at the end of the day , and is used to justify productivity as a direct result of a clean workspace. shimizu tends to follow seiso in times of stress by cleaning her room / cleaning her house to transfer her thoughts from abstract emotional focuses to more tangible , physical focuses.

i also noted in that headcanon that if she’s stressed , she’s unlikely to share it with others. shimizu is deft at side-stepping or brushing away other’s concerns , or even down-playing them ( in the way she does in a hq extra when takeda finds her sick and tells her to go home , but she assures him she’s fine and can continue helping the team ). she’s highly reluctant to talk about her feelings even if prompted to by a close friend , so working through stress / sadness / depression is much like an inner battle than one she’s likely to work through with a friend.

she probably broods and is much quieter than usual , and excuses herself from spaces earlier than the majority so she has time to herself. she doesn’t cry very often , but if the cause of her sadness / depression was powerful enough then she might as a cathartic release. but mostly , i think her focusing on cleaning / doing tangible tasks is what helps her redirect her focus into something productive and grounding.

violet : how does your muse respond to betrayal ?

it really depends. at first , i want to say that she doesn’t respond to it well. much like semi , one of her major character flaws is that she’s quick to judge people and to form opinions of them immediately. but she’s also more lenient than him when it comes to adapting her opinions of people. for example , she disliked tsukishima and kageyama at first— tsukishima because he really seemed to disregard everyone else’s efforts on the team and was very unsportsmanlike , and kageyama because he too was unsportsmanlike at first and treated others poorly. however , the longer they were on the team , the better shimizu began to think of them. they became teammates rather than new , troublesome first years , and she started to overlook their rocky start. so while she’s quick to judge , under the right circumstances she can learn to rewrite those judgments.

when it comes to betrayal , she’s probably much the same way , but a bit more critical. despite how cold she can come across as , she has more empathy with close friends than one might assume , and if the betrayal is due to that friend being in a hard spot , then she might understand. of course , it would take her a long time to work through her own thoughts and come to an acceptance of any apology , but it’s not as if she’d never get there. more than anything— and as unfair as it is— because shimizu is quite judgmental at first , the betrayal would sting immediately and the empathy would take forever to work through. it would probably fall upon the ‘ traitor ’ to come forth to shimizu with an explanation and apology. she can’t read minds and won’t know what the person was thinking , and she’s not confident enough in her own ability to understand others , so it really needs to come straight from the mouth of the other person for her to begin her process of acceptance.

goldenrod : does your muse believe in luck or fortune ? why or why not ? where do they believe these things come from ?

not really , no. her family follows a mix of shintō and buddhist traditions , because while her maternal family is shintōist her father is buddhist. but they’re not necessarily a religious family , and shimizu isn’t pressed to say that she believes in the gods. in fact , when the third years go to the shrine for new years and they pray to the gods for success , shimizu cuts them down by saying the gods won’t help them win. in this little headcanon here i talked a lot about how shimizu addressed her surroundings at face value , and that her success in track and field wasn’t really tied to anything otherworldly. rather , she only focused on the things she could see / touch / hear. to me , this means that she’s more of a realist than an optimist who looks towards luck or fortune. you can’t count on those types of things to consistently help you , which means that they probably don’t really exist. instead , we have to take in the things around us that we can see and feel and rely on those. and overall , shimizu’s concerns are not with luck and fortune but on seeing challenges and tackling them with as much effort as possible , not about winning or losing.

hibiscus : how does your muse view the gentler , daintier things in life ? as things worth preserving & caring for , or things only bound to wither & disappear ?

she’s not a romantic and she’s not a pessimist , either , so shimizu probably ranks somewhere between these things. there are simple things she really appreciates in life , and in many of my threads i focus on those things because shimizu doesn’t talk / express her thoughts outwardly , but her appreciation for small insignificant details is a persisting feeling. she’s not pressed to want to protect them or to feel disappointed when they disappear ; there’s always a balance , and when one disappears she probably finds something else to appreciate. for example , she likes her family’s garden outside their teahouse because it’s beautiful and peaceful , but when she moves out into a home of her own she probably finds things that she likes about that space , too.

in japanese there’s a difficult-to-describe term called wabi-sabi , which is essentially like finding beauty in small , imperfect , fleeting things. it’s why tea house flower displays are asymmetrical and the style of japanese pottery that highlights cracks with gold glaze is so popular. shimizu appreciates wabi-sabi in life but doesn’t put too much emphasis onto it. but things like an ugly cat or mismatched socks are peaceful sometimes , and shimizu has no problem ( in all her silence ) pausing to give them a brief thought and a feeling of pleasant satisfaction.

hollyhock : how strong is your muse’s sense of ambition ? what’s something they strive for in life ?

compared to her team , who she watches grow in ambition , shimizu is not very ambitious. she’s the type of person who goes with the flow and accepts where life takes her , even if it’s not somewhere particularly glamorous. during track and field , she thinks about how it would be nice to succeed , but she knows her own limits and doesn’t feel ambitious to be the best despite her lack of innate talent.

at her core , i think shimizu is just looking for a comfortable life where she’s able to find things that bring her joy. she doesn’t care so much about money or fame , but maybe being able to settle down with someone and to pass the days feeling comfortable and loved would be nice.

that being said , she has a great respect for people who are ambitious and work towards their goals. that’s insanely attractive to her and she finds that those types of people , if humble and hard-working , make the best / most outstanding types of citizens.

insertflowername : do it [redacted] ?

yes. under the right circumstances it does.

botanical headcanons ,

#kainan #whew this was a monster to type out

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skyfrost-nail-kincare · 4 years ago

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Hi I was hoping I could request a tarot reading for what my relationship was like with Hajime in my Nagito canon? If you could use your neon moon deck that would great! We werent dating or anything but I cant remember if we were friends, kinda neutral, or if he hated me? I'm pretty canon compliant but I know that I looked up to and admired him like I did the ultimates at first but after I found out he wasnt one I was really conflicted on how to feel about him

Yeah absolutely!! You’ll find your reading below the cut :)

- Mod Tobin [Hoodie]

Your cards

Card: Five of Wires

This card is about competition, conflict, and the like. What I think this means is that you strived to be better than him somehow--maybe because you looked up to Hajime so much, that you wanted to be just like him and surpass him prior to finding out that he wasn’t an ultimate. Once you did figure it out, maybe you still felt this need? Like he was “too good to be an ultimate”? Just a hunch.

Card: Strength

Despite your competitive nature, it seems you kept it to yourself for the most part. You had good self-control, yet you weren’t afraid to do what you had to do to prove yourself.

Card: Four of Wires

Something you wanted, it seems, was for everyone to get along. While you had that drive, you still wanted friends. You especially seem to have wanted to get along with Hajime. This card gives me a family-type energy in its keywords, but whether that’s relevant or not I’m unsure.

Hajime’s cards

Card: Seven of Zent

Hajime may have been more of a jack of all trades than just not an ultimate at all, since this card has a general theme of investing in something to get a reward. He may have picked up on skills relatively easily as long as he practiced them for a bit, so this might be why he wasn’t suspected of not being like the rest of the students.

Card: Inverted Six of Wires

Due to this, he was awfully confident. He’d made a lot of progress in everything he did, and prior to remembering himself that he wasn’t an ultimate, he recognized that his skills were remarkable. (He still gives off this vibe of being humble in your tl, though, so maybe he was confident in an “aw shucks, I’m not that great--it’s just what I do” kind of way?)

Card: Inverted Executive of Vials

Even when presented with everything that’d happened, Hajime kept a level head. Even when he seemed to be panicking, he was often the most calm among the group, and he may have taught you some things about that. He was very balanced and intelligent, emotionally.

Your dynamic card: The Star

The Star is all about finding hope and whatnot in the rubble of the fallen Tower, and I think this is about what happened after you found out he was just a normal guy. You felt conflicted at first, but he may have been able to convince you that not being an ultimate didn’t make him any less of a person. Maybe, despite not dating, you two ended up really close. Maybe more like brothers? Whatever happened, I doubt the two of you had a bad relationship.

An extra note: I see a lot of wires in the reading, telling me that the both of you were very passionate, though you more than him. The mix of three suits among Hajime’s cards tell me that he was definitely well-rounded.

Hopefully this sounds right, but do remember that you know yourself best! These are just my interpretations, so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t!

#tarot reading #kin tarot reading

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tannerahonesti95 · 5 years ago

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How Long Does It Take To Learn Reiki

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Reiki On Self

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#Reiki And Energy Healing Fabulous Unique Ideas #Reiki Healing From A Distance

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thusspeaksdingdong · 5 years ago

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On Resignation

A new strength have I found in my resignation and solitude. Verily, too often does one's solitude become a prison. We ourselves are jailer and cell and musty stone. But it is with chisel and hammer that we pave the way to higher paths. Yet for that, much patience and endurance is needed ― and even calloused hands.

A bitter and vengeful heart have I found in my breast. Too long have I lived in the marketplace amongst the calls of the street trumpeters and the humming of poisonous flies. The danger of the lonely one is not that his kindness kills, but that such generosity often turns on itself like the scorpion with its tail. His danger is that he learn to throw his compassion like a stone into the well of abandonment.

Is it not irresponsible to resent the resenter, when our responsibility speaks most honestly of our folly? Yet we always have too much self-consideration: look, how the slug praises his shell, when he himself is filth and poverty and wretched contentment!

Is it not difficult to be responsible when no one takes the stand, especially when we are alone? How weak we are when we hesitate, as butterflies fluttering before adamant crowds! We condemn those who send us to the cross; such is the folly of our best wisdom.

When bitten, one seeks to bite in return. However, my hardened hide has taught me to tolerate even toothless nibblers: such gape-jaws are innocent in their nibbling. But piranhas and paragons one should avoid, particularly if one has thin skin and gentle blood.

And towards my enemies who nibble and spew, how can I not find joy in my humble sarcasm, which is not wounded by their words? Upon the peak of tall mountains, does one not see such toys for what they are: a playground and gymnasium for the spirit?

Does Ding Dong teach you of solitude? Does he teach you penance and passion like wild flowers? But such flowers of virtue only grow on pure soil, upon high mountains of ambrosia.

Your best virtue amounts to nothing if you are clumsy in such fields: even an inconsiderate action is enough to crush one's virtue.

A vengeful heart I have found in my breast, palpitating with the venom of so many flies. Only a dragon cannot perish from such venom. Therefore, the disciple must learn to forget and pass by much.

Should one go against such wisdom? But folly demands that we strive to know how to love, and our wisdom is our best folly. I have found resignation in my folly as my best wisdom. Truly, it is absurd to strive against mountains!

But one must become a climber of mountains, and not a talker of it. Verily, too much talk has infected even the mind of this clown, and I would soon resemble the parrot with its broken wings of the spirit...

A new strength have I found in my resignation: not to despise the despiser, but to love out of my great contempt. Out of my love and height shall emerge true compassion, though it strike both friend and foe like lightning. For it is a bridge toward new shores and hopes, a rainbow of consolation after long storms.

Well shall I mask such compassion, for those who would not welcome it. There is nothing that teaches men to bite more than the bite of conscience. Therefore, beware of your good and your evil! You weigh scales far above the multitudes, and they never forgive you that you break their old tablets and abaci.

It is better to teach the dumb than the deaf. The illiterate always seek to understand your words. But with the deaf, only your warmth and not your words are weighed. Although one cannot hear our words, they at least can register the happiness of our face, and muffled kindness. Through the gift of words, such benediction can penetrate even hard shells.

Too long has Ding Dong sat among the deaf, who do not have ears to hear his wisdom, and that is: my folly is my best wisdom. So who is more foolish than I, that I may delight in his instruction?

Too long have I sat in resignation amongst dull stones, and many a knife have I broken on them – to the resentment of both parties.

I have been a beggar with too many riches, stolen from caves of vast mountains, stolen from the very dragon's nest. Enchanted are these treasures, and painful is my heart that I have had none to take them as gifts.

Such gifts are meant only for the unselfish. Too greedy have I found all buyers, without resignation. They do not want to accept Ding Dong's gifts, so had I to resign to the poverty of too many riches.

Is not giving a need? Is not receiving mercy? But merciless have I found all buyers now: they are too poor in their riches. They resent all mountain air and mountain freedom, this crisp immortal air of the spirit.

The bleeding and the sick and the poor of spirit, thus do my hands reach out to give to those who suffer more than I. Their suffering is the suffering of poverty, and mine the suffering of too much wealth.

A new truth my resignation taught me: to love those who do not love us, to love when they do not give us pity. For everything human wants pity and consideration.

Too considerate and too hesitant has been this clown, to profess what he has always taught in words. Although one enters the circus, one need not be a clown in order to be heard.

With happiness and bright colors of resignation, I resign my proud head to the guillotine. May the catastrophe of the executioner be cruel and quick!

Is not love of our enemies more noble than our worst contempt? But one must be rich enough for that. Rather than competing with dull stones, it is best to climb high mountains.

Far upon the horizons of the spirit my will has willed, towards fields of sacred lilies and ambrosia of the spirit. Such clean air saturates my bones, and makes me giddy with hope. Wafting upon such breezes of happiness, my wings have only known the joy of stretching, and the humble test of dignity.

High above this muddled city of despair have I flown, and far down into the depths have my eyes searched for prey. Too many are the poor in spirit, who boast too much of having spirit. Maimed and pretentious are these sick ones; my honor demands that I only hunt for fresh lamb.

So shall I descend like a hawk upon my enemies. My talons shall bear them to my happiness; but if they do not like such heights, I cannot resent them for that. But at least shall I have the joy of testing my strength.

High above the smog of polluted minds have I flown to the future. Within the most recessive and secret isles of life have I found my ivy wreath of happiness. But the brainsick have always been there to pluck at my wreath, to test the sincerity of my resignation.

Such lunatics even wear business suits, and seek to drown me in legality and polemics. But if I must resign, then it shall be without benefits.

Thus speaks Ding Dong.

#ding dong #ding dong the clown #thus speaks ding dong #thus spoke zarathustra #friedrich nietzsche #frederick nietzsche #gnosis #gnostic #gnosticism #esoteric #samael aun weor #hypocrites #hypocrite #resignation

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basicsofislam · 6 years ago

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ISLAM 101: Basic Islamic Phrases: Part 5

Islamic Terms

Qadr: This term is often translated as “Destiny” or “Pre-destination.” This is not entirely accurate. It means literally “to measure.” The religious idea behind it is that Allah measured everything in the universe. The length of your life is “measured,” as is your fortune and your life’s circumstances.

Qiblah: The direction of Prayer. All Muslims make their prayers, or salat, facing Mecca. Allah commanded us to do this in the Qur'an as a show of unity and to remember Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham) who built the first shrine there in that place so many thousands of years ago. Prophet Adam is said to have built an even older shrine many thousands of years before that in that very place.

Qur'an: This is the name of the Book Allah revealed to the Prophet Muhammad from the years 610-632. Allah revealed it in stages, one section at a time, as the Muslims were ready to follow it. It has 114 chapters called surahs. It was revealed in the Arabic language and has never been lost, changed or edited, like the Bible or Buddhist books have.

We have lots of translations of the Qur'an into English, but a translation can never be as good as the original words and their full meaning. All Muslims try to learn Arabic so they can read the Qur'an. Be advised, there are two different types of Arabic. The first is the language of the Qur'an, in other words, whatever vocabulary words are used in the Qur'an. The second type of Arabic is everyday Arabic, in other words, things that would help you talk about a sports game, a vacation or a day at the office. Many Muslims get bogged down by studying the second type of Arabic. You should work towards the first type if your main goal is to understand the Qur'an.

 Pbuh: Peace Be Upon Him (said to invoke peace and blessings on the Prophet Mohammad)

 Rab: Lord

Ramadan: The ninth month of the Islamic calendar. Muslims are required to fast from before sunrise to sunset every day of this month. There are many details concerning this so consult the section on beliefs and practices.

Rasul: This term means Messenger.

Ruh: Your spirit or soul. Allah gave it to you on loan and thus you had better not sin and dirty it up.

 Sabr: Patience

Sadaqah: Charity.

Sahaba: A companion of the Prophet.

Sahabiyat: The female companions of the Prophet.

Sajda: (Sujood) Bowing on the floor in prayer; prostration.

Salafi: This is the name of a group of Muslims who took stance of Abdul Wahaab who was a reformer. Their name is derived from the Salaf, (ancestors) which is a reference to the Sahaba and the generation immediately after them. They tend not to follow a madhab.

Salat: (or Salah) This means prayer, the prayer in which you stand, bow and prostrate. The literal meaning of the word is: to make a connection with.

 Seerah: The biography of the life of the Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Shahadah: The Declaration of Faith. By believing in and declaring the following phrase, a person becomes a Muslim: “Ash hadu an la ilaha illallah, wa ash hadu anna Muhammadar rasulullah.” “I declare that there is no god but Allah, and I declare that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.” There are other ways to say this formula but this is the most common one. When a person accepts Islam, all his or her past sins are forgiven and his or her record is wiped clean and they start again from that moment as if they were just born.

Shaykh: Literally: Chief or Boss. It is the title that Muslims sometimes give to their scholars. It is not required in Islam but many people like to use this term. Muslim clergy

Shari'ah: It is usually translated as Islamic Law. It means the path of Islam.

Shirk: This is the greatest and most terrible sin. It is the one sin that can keep your soul out of Paradise and doom you to Hellfire. It means making partners with Allah. If a person says that there are many gods, or says that Allah is divided up into different people (such as the Trinity teaching of Christianity) then they are committing Shirk. Allah said it is the one sin He won’t forgive if you die while doing it. The Blessed Prophet Muhammad once mentioned also that a person who likes to feel greatness in their heart was also committing a kind of Shirk. This is because all greatness is for Allah and we should always try to be humble. The Prophet also said, “La Yad khulu al Jannah min kana fee qal beehee mith qalu habbatin min kibr.” “They won’t enter Paradise, the one who has even a little bit of the love of greatness in their heart.”

Shaytan: (or Shaytan) It means Satan. (The literal meaning is to separate from.) Islam teaches that a Jinn named Iblis didn’t want to bow when Allah commanded a bunch of angels to bow down to Adam in respect of his knowledge. Iblis thought he was better than both humans and angels. Allah banished him to earth and let him have extended life until the Day of Judgment. That is because Iblis challenged Allah and said if he had time he would corrupt all human beings. Iblis’s name literally means “Frustrated.” He is also known as the Shaytan, or Satan.

Siyam (or Saum) Fasting.

Subhanullah: “Glory to Allah.” This phrase is said whenever we’re happy or when we see something wonderful or hear about something wonderful.We as Muslims should say it as often as we can because of its GREAT rewards.

Sufi: This is the name for a group of another sect of Muslims who want to be super-spiritually oriented. Sufis tend to try and be as close to the Sunnah as possible and they like to do group dhikr and chanting. While most Sufis are okay Islamically, there are a few groups that go way out and are close to being outside of Islam. Most Sufis you will encounter are of the okay kind. They are distinguished by their traditional Islamic dress and turbans. The word Sufi comes from the term for wool cloth, which was a material early Sufis liked to wear to emphasize how they didn’t want to be captured by the love of fineries in this world.

Sufis organize themselves into “orders” or groups, called Tariqas. These groups are headed by a leader called a Shaykh who is considered the most spiritual man with the most Taqwa among them. Some famous Sufi Tariqas that operate all over the world are the Naqshabandis and Qadiriyya. The most famous Sufi Muslim scholars that ever lived are Jalaluddin Rumi, Muhammad al Ghazali and Abdul Qadir Jilani.

Suhoof: “Scrolls.” This is the name of the revelation given to Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham) about 4,000 years ago. It was lost.

Sunnah: The example or “way” of the Prophet. How he lived his life and what his practices were.

Sunni: This is the name of the largest sect or group of Muslims. This group amounts to about 85-90% of all Muslims world-wide. Sunni’s believe in the mission of the Prophet as he taught it and try very hard to adhere to the Prophet’s example with no changes. This doesn’t mean that Sunni’s are somehow the only 'true’ Muslims, however, because the Prophet never taught that we should even label ourselves Sunni’s or Shi'as.

Sunni Islam is just closer to real Islam because it is the way of the Prophet and his companions as well as the righteous predecessors. The best thing for a Muslim to do is to drop all the labels and just say, “I’m a Muslim."But there are many Muslims in the world who get emotional about wanting to call themselves some kind of label besides the basic, "I’m a Muslim.” Have patience with them and do what is right. The term Sunni comes from the title, “Ahl as-Sunnah wal Jam'a” which means, “People of the Example (of the Prophet) and the Main Group (of First Muslims).”

Surah: It is a chapter of the Qur'an. The word literally means “a step up in progression” or a “fence.”

Tafseer: Commentary or explanation of the Qur'an. Many Qur'an translations will have footnotes on the bottom of the page to help you understand the meaning of an ayah. That would be called Tafseer.

Taqwa: This term means many things at once. The first meaning is that you are always aware that Allah is watching you. This brings you to the second meaning and that is that you will try to be good always. Do you see how the two things wrapped together can be so beautiful? When a Muslim has Taqwa, we say they are “Aware of Allah” “Conscious of Allah” and striving to be righteous.The main meaning is the fear of allah, because if we fear him then we will not go astray.Allah loves those most who fear him the most.

Tauhid: Sometimes it’s spelled Tawheed. It means the Oneness of Allah. Allah has no partners, He is not divided up into parts and He is not in need of anyone to help Him in anything whatsoever.

Taurah: The revelation given to Prophet Musa (Moses). The first five books of the old testament in the Bible are said to be the “Torah” of Moses, but no serious Bible scholar, whether Jewish or Christian believes that anymore. Musa’s message was lost long ago. Just take a look, everything about Prophet Moses in the Bible is written in third person: “And Moses said this,” and “Moses went there,” Someone else wrote those things, certainly not Moses!

 Tawakkol: Reliance on God

Ukhtee: Means “My sister.”

Wahy: This word means revelation or inspiration. When Allah was revealing His messages to the Prophet, we would say the Prophet was receiving “Wahy.” The Blessed Prophet once said that after him, all Wahy from Allah was finished except for one thing: dreams that can come true.

Wuduu: Washing for prayer.

Yowm ul Qiyamah: The Day of Judgment. (Literally: Day of rising.)Because that is the day all creation from the begining till the end will rise on the plains of arafat and be judged on their life and actions.

Zabur: The revelation given to Prophet Dawud (David). The Psalms in the Bible are not the pure Zabur. Christian scholars admit that at least half of the verses in Psalms were written by temple priests, government workers, etc, in ancient Israel. And no one knows which half are from Prophet Dawud and how many have been lost or altered.

Zakah: This is often translated as “Charity” or “Poor-due” but the literal meaning of the word is actually, “Purifying."Zakah is the third pillar of Islam. It involves giving 2.5% of your yearly wealth, after expenses, for the benefit of the poor and the needy. The "purifying” part comes in by learning not to be greedy. If you give some of your money for the sake of Allah to the poor, you make your heart less prone to greed.

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irelise · 6 years ago

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the yew tree 1.2/?

Erik has worked with Sebastian Shaw, mutant revolutionary, ever since Shaw rescued him from human experimentation when he was a boy. He is reluctantly enlisted to assist in Shaw’s newest scheme: seducing the wealthy and enigmatic Lord Xavier and claiming his vast fortune. With Shaw posing as Xavier’s doctor, Erik goes undercover as Xavier’s personal manservant to convince him to fall in love with Shaw.

But Xavier has secrets of his own, and it isn’t long before Erik starts having second thoughts about the whole thing…

(the handmaiden inspired au - no canon knowledge required

start reading here!)

Warnings for this part: past suicide Rating: M Word count: 2189

Sebastian had prepared tea for them today; most generous. He balances the cup on his saucer, breathing in the smoky scent as he watches Sebastian move around the room.

“And how have things been progressing on your end? Any complications?” Sebastian asks.

“Not as such, but I admit he is different from what I was expecting.”

“Oh? I’ve always thought he was simple. No depth to him at all. It’s why I chose him for this plan.”

His skin itches. “Do try not to ruin everything with your overconfidence.”

Sebastian laughs. It’s an unpleasant sound, far too smug by half. “You worry too much.” He picks up a book. “Ready to move onto the next phase?”

***

Erik knocks on the door, a stack of books balanced precariously in his arms. “In the study,” Xavier calls, and Erik lets himself in.

Xavier is at his desk, the gas lamp bathing his face in a warm glow. “Erik! How did your errand for Dr. Schmidt go?”

“He wanted you to have these.” Erik sets the books on the desk and steps back. Xavier picks up one immediately, flicking it open.

“Oh, this is wonderful. Come see, Erik.”

Obligingly, Erik steps closer again, peering at the pages. The paper is of fine quality, the print crisp and clear, but the text itself is too technical for him to grasp without further study.

“Dr. Schmidt has kindly agreed to tutor me in the medical sciences,” Xavier says, sounding delighted. “He said he would lend me a few books from his personal collection; this must be it.”

Erik shakes his head. “No, these are for you to keep. A gift, he said.”

“Truly?”

And here’s an opportunity to slip in another sly comment about Shaw’s high regard for Xavier, but there’s a bad taste in Erik’s mouth as he says, “He’s told me that you’re one of the cleverest people he’s ever met, and he would be honoured to help you achieve your potential.”

A charming dusting of pink settles over Xavier’s cheeks and he absently flips to another page. “It’s very kind of him to say. Going to university has always been one of my dearest ambitions, but my health makes it impossible, and my uncle has been reluctant to hire more tutors for me when it’s unlikely I’ll be able to put their knowledge to any practical use. Have you had much formal schooling, Erik?”

“No.”

“But you’re literate?”

“Yes, Dr. Schmidt taught me my letters and numbers. Basic sciences. Enough to get by.”

Xavier toys absently with his book, tongue darting out to run against his upper lip. “Would you – that is, only if you want to, would you like to join me in the evenings when I study? I’m sure you’ve noticed already –” Xavier glances at the bookshelves around them “– evolution and genetics are my preferred fields, but I have plenty of old textbooks lying around on all manner of subjects. I’m sure we can find something to your interest.”

Erik is no academic. He values knowledge only for its practical use, but something in him stirs at the thought of learning about mutation – his heritage – even if it’s from a human.

There’s just one thing holding him back. “…What do you want from me?”

“I’m sorry?”

He knows he shouldn’t be questioning Xavier like this, but he can’t stop worrying at the question like a hound on the scent. “Men like you, men of your station, they don’t just offer things. So tell me, what do you really want?”

That unreadable look comes over Xavier’s eyes again. “Oh, my friend. You’re so quick to believe the worst in people.”

My friend? Erik bristles defensively at the appellation. “I have my reasons.”

“I know,” Xavier says simply. “And I’m sure they’re good reasons. Better safe than sorry, yes?

“Exactly.” He isn’t going to let Xavier off the hook. Erik looks at him, angling his chin up in challenge. “Well?”

Xavier’s mouth quirks, giving him a rueful look. “Would you believe it if I said I’m lonely?”

And there it is again – Xavier’s damnable openness about his own weakness. A familiar spark of anger flares up in Erik’s chest. “So, what, am I going to be your charity case? Are you going to pretend I’m your equal? Your friend? I can’t be your equal and your servant at the same time, my lord, that’s not the way things work.”

Xavier looks surprised, and then delighted, the madman. Erik scowls. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing at all.” He smiles. “Thank you for your honesty, Erik. So, is that a yes to evening lessons?”

“Did you hear a single word I said?”

Xavier laughs, rising to his feet. “Come, let’s see if we can find a good textbook for you to start with.”

***

They develop a routine after that. Every evening, after Erik retrieves Xavier from his sessions with Shaw, he helps Xavier bathe and brings him dinner (Xavier must have an enormous lunch with his uncle, because his dinners are as frugal as his breakfasts), then the two of them retreat to the study, sitting side by side either on the armchairs or at the desk, depending on what strikes Xavier’s fancy that particular night. Often, Xavier reads aloud to him – and all that poetry reading must be good training, because Xavier is an engaging speaker, with just the right balance of liveliness and seriousness. His enunciation is perfect, and Erik admits (very privately) that his accent has a certain charm.

Tonight, Xavier reads from a book on the origins of humankind: “As we peer back through the fossil record,” he recites, “through layer upon layer of long-extinct species, many of which thrived far longer than the human species is ever likely to do, we are reminded of our mortality as a species.”

Xavier pauses, and Erik watches the back-and-forth dart of Xavier’s eyes as he scans the page before continuing.

“There is no law that declares the human animal to be different, as seen in this broad biological perspective, from any other animal.” And with an air of finality, Xavier concludes: “There is no law that declares the human species to be immortal.”

Erik scoffs, rearranging his long legs into a more comfortable position. “Leakey must be delusional if he seriously believes that humans will quietly lie down and accept their own extinction.”

Xavier looks up at him. The gas lamp casts soft shadows, smoothing the angles of his face. He looks impossibly young. “Really? Personally, I find it quite comforting to know I’m part of something bigger.”

Scowling, Erik waits for Xavier to start preaching we’re all part of a bigger, unseen plan; we should strive to live humbly and obediently, but Xavier only says: “Even if I were to die tomorrow, nothing about the world will change. The Earth will continue with or without me – just as it will continue even after the last human is gone.” His gaze flicks past Erik, to the window, and he smiles ruefully. “I’m sorry, my friend, I don’t think I’m explaining this very well.”

“You’re not,” Erik grumbles. “The way you talk, it sounds like you think nothing lasts.”

“You don’t agree?”

“I don’t. I’ve seen too many people hide behind that sort of philosophy as an excuse to do nothing.”

Xavier looks delighted. “Why, Erik, are you calling me lazy?”

Mad, he’s absolutely mad. “You’re free to interpret it however you want,” Erik shoots back, wondering why he isn’t more annoyed at Xavier. “All I’m saying is – you’re bright. You’ve got the money and the connections. If you wanted to, you could make a lasting difference.”

“A difference to what?” Xavier is looking out the window again.

Mutants, Erik thinks. He follows Xavier’s gaze, looking past the deep dark of the yew tree, past the fencing that marks the boundaries of the property, all the way to the emptiness beyond. He wonders if it’s true, if Xavier has never left the estate since his arrival here.

“What’s important to you?” He finally asks.

Xavier closes his eyes. “I don’t know.”

Erik wants to shake him, but he just takes a steadying breath. “Then that’s something you need to figure out,” he says gruffly. “You’re not going to spend your whole life inside this mansion.”

“Sometimes I wonder.” Xavier shakes his head, sitting up a little straighter as he props his book open again. “Well! That was certainly a tangent. Let’s keep going, shall we?”

Erik can recognize someone trying to make an escape. He almost presses the point – but then reality floods back in and he remembers, for the first time that night, the mission. He’s only a servant here, no matter how much familiarity Xavier treats him with.

“We were talking about extinction,” he prompts Xavier.

“Right, yes. The extinction of the human race – that’s quite a thought, isn’t it?”

“It does seem unlikely.” More’s the pity. “It’s in human nature to fight to the bitter end.”

Xavier taps at his bottom lip. “Must it always come down to a fight? Extinction can happen for all sorts of reasons. You remember when we’ve read about the Neanderthals?”

“That’s a terrible example,” Erik says dryly, “considering violent conflict with Homo sapiens caused their extinction.”

“That’s only one theory – one of a number of factors, in fact.” Xavier’s mouth curves into a generous smile. “I prefer the theory that interbreeding – a result of peaceful cohabitation with Homo sapiens – had contributed to their fade.”

“Make love, not war? All that poetry of yours has filled your head with too many stories, Charles.”

Wait. Xavier is looking at him with bright eyes. You used my name, Erik can almost hear him say.

This wasn’t – This isn’t supposed to happen. What is he doing – playing house with Shaw’s toy, teasing and bantering and debating? The drumbeat of his heart rolls against his chest like thunder. He’s making a mistake. He’s getting too close.

“Erik.” In the space of a blink, Xavier has leaned forward. His fingers are warm where they curl around Erik’s wrist, grounding him. “It doesn’t have to be a fight all the time.”

He breaths out harshly, no longer sure what they’re talking about. “Yes. It does.”

“No.” The firelight catches Xavier’s eyes, scattering gold along the lines of intensity on his face. “We – both of us, and all humans, for that matter – we can choose the better path. We all have the potential to make the right choices.”

Xaviers’ fingers are a firebrand against his skin. Erik swallows, pulling his wrist away. “If you’re going to pin your hopes on other people’s potential, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.”

“But I must,” Xavier murmurs. “If I can’t have hope, then what else is left?”

God. Shaw is going to destroy him. Erik is going to hand him to Shaw on a silver platter and Shaw will suck him dry and toss his broken body aside. Desperately, Erik reminds himself that Xavier is only a human, a spoiled entitled human too lazy and complacent to look past the high walls of his opulent cage.

The words ring hollow.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he growls softly. “The world isn’t as kind as you think it is.”

“Maybe not, but you are kinder than you think you are.”

Erik huffs out a sardonic laugh. “No. I’m really not.”

Suddenly, he can’t bear to be in the room for another second longer. “May I be excused?”

It’s a crisp and clear night outside. Erik breathes in deep, the cool breeze settling into his lungs, his heart, his head. An exhale, and he pictures the choked mess of his thoughts flowing out of him, leaving his mind clear once more, his convictions once more solidifying, crystallising.

Gravel crunches under his boots as he makes his way through the grounds, and then he’s leaving the path behind, treading through grassy fields. It’s peaceful here, his only company the wind and the soft background hum of wildlife.

Before him, the yew tree looms, its diameter impossibly thick, the complex tangle of its branches sweeping wide. Yew trees are among the longest-lived, Erik recalls. This tree was here long before he was born, and it will still be here long after he dies. He looks up at the gnarled branches, thinking about Charles, thinking about the night they first met, thinking about a noose and a pale, dangling body.

A low stone wall stands just behind the yew tree, demarcating the edges of the property. He could just leave right now, Shaw be damned. Erik can see it so clearly: vaulting over the stone wall, following the road until he reaches a village, stealing a ride on an automobile, on and on until he returns to where he’s supposed to be. The safehouse. The Brotherhood. He can return to the fight right now, and Shaw can’t stop him. His fingers clench as he pictures the facilities, the scream of steel and the screams of the humans all twisting and collapsing together in a spray of iron.

Erik turns and walks back to the mansion.

(next part)

#cherik #xmfc #my writing

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willow-salix · 6 years ago

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The Seven Basic Plots and how they work.

OK, so this subject is a little controversial, and many will argue the points made, but I thought I would include it, because when I was taught them, they made perfect sense and helped the whole class to identify with the type of story they were actually writing.

This is a really important thing to discover, probably even before you start to plot out your book, because knowing the type of story, and the general structure that they usually take will make the actual construction of your story, so much easier.

The theory goes that there are only ever seven basic plots for stories. 7 in the entire world! They say that any story you can think of will fall into at least one of these categories, though more often they are a mixture of two, three or even more.

The plots are

- Overcoming the Monster

- Rags to Riches

- The Quest

- Voyage and Return

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- Rebirth

- Comedy (in which they have included Romance)

- Tragedy.

Now, lets look at them in more depth.

Over coming the monster. This may have you conjuring up visions of a snarling beast looming over a fair maiden who is swooning and screaming for her knight in shining armour to come and save her.

And while that’s fine, if your story is going that way, if you do have a physical monster that is terrorising villages, you do you, dude, but as a plot it’s much broader.

Monsters can take many forms, from a physical threat, a bad guy, an evil boss, and old enemy, an ex-partner or friend, or even something more symbolic like the badness of society or even mankind itself, an organisation, or a political party.

An overcoming the monster story, as with all of the plots, usually follows a formula, although it is easily moved around to make the story your own.

It starts with the creature itself tormenting and torturing its prey, so it could be the boss picking on the young, inexperienced intern, or a nasty teacher bullying the class.

Then comes the call, when the hero hears of this wickedness and comes to save the day. This could be someone in the office overhearing the nasty things said to the poor, sobbing intern, or one adventurous member of the class that decides enough is enough, this evil teacher must be stopped.

There will usually be a brief, first confrontation where the hero and the monster meet face to face for the first time.

There is often a period within the story that is referred to as the dream state, where everything seems to be going ok for our hero, this turns into a nightmare with another confrontation, which the hero shows every likelihood of losing.

And finally, victory, usually including a lesson of some kind which is designed to make the reader think about the moral of the story.

Rags to riches and comedy/romance will often be blended together. We will often see a small, insignificant individual who will step forward and become our hero. Like the nerdy best friend in a high school drama who turns out to be the perfect person for them all along.

Our unfortunate and reluctant hero will have been treated badly by those around them, family, friends, society and is often orphaned by at least one parent. This gives them some vulnerability and odds to overcome.

It is believed that Cinderella is the oldest rags to riches tale with thousands of known versions today, the oldest dating back to the 9th century.

The unfortunate hero is usually the youngest child, one that is shown during the story to be growing up and to mature.

There is usually a part of the story where there is some kind of crisis, where everything is going wrong, but in the end, everything will work itself out and change for the better.

This is often paired with romance because it’s a good formula, we as readers, like the thought of a humble hero being the one to get the love interest rather than the rich, arrogant rival.

Aladdin is a perfect example of both plots mixing together, an orphaned boy who steals to survive, getting his big break and meeting the girl of his dreams. But just when things seem to be coming up roses for Aladdin, he is knocked back down, having to find the guts and determination to keep fighting, clawing his way back to win the heart of the princess and defeat the bad guy.

The quest is often twinned with voyage and return.

No type of story is better known than the quest, some of our most beloved stories, like treasure island, lord of the rings and the holy grail are all a quest.

The story itself can take the form of a physical journey, where they hero is actually travelling from one place to another, or more of a mental journey, a voyage of self discovery if you will. Maybe one relating to their mental or physical help, self improvement or some other life goal.

When looking at the story the goals are usually pretty simple. Some fabulous treasure or mysterious mythical object, or they surround a homeward journey, be that a mental one of self discovery, back to the person you once was, or a physical one.

They often begin with the call to action, as many others do. A community in uproar, a lost treasure or even a missing person.

All quests begin with a sense of unease, a desperation which pushes them on, often the plot will also involve a time limit to make it feel tenser.

The hero will often have to leave their home and battle to find their way back, returning a better person than when they left.

These stories often involve companions of some kind who will travel with them or be picked up along the way and help them on their journey, their unique abilities making victory possible. This has a moral reason for happening, to show the reader than no one can triumph when they are alone or unsupported, trying to take on too much themselves, to not rely on others, or in the case of a more arrogant hero, thinking they don’t need help. There is no shame in allowing friends to offer a hand.

Sometimes the writer will pull a sneaky on their reader and have one of the companions actually work against the hero, instead being in cahoots with the enemy. This is a good way of involving a plot twist into the story, but it is one that has to be managed very carefully, it should not be obvious that they have been actively trying to cause trouble. It should come out of nowhere and completely blindside the reader, but, when they look back, there should be enough to make it true. It’s a hard one to pull off and it does require practice, but that’s no reason to avoid doing it if that’s how your story is worked.

Once the hero and companions have assembled, they will venture forth. Usually they will encounter their first scary or dramatic situation, entering unknown territory, facing a monster or even lack of resources or food. The possibilities in this, are endless.

Mystical intervention along the way is also a common theme, where our heroes will receive some much-needed help and advice which will save the day.

When the journey is almost over, when we think they will make it, comes the final ordeal. All is lost! Or so we think. But of course, the hero will overcome the odds and win the day.

A twist to this kind of story is the dark quest, and my personal favourite, where we see the dark, brooding anti-hero who seeks to destroy an object or person who is working on the side of good. just when it looks like darkness will overcome the light, he has his redemption.

I do love a sexy, anti-social man who needs kicking into shape, and I am usually just the girl to write them, but, enough about me, lets continue on to our last two plots.

Tragedy and rebirth are another two that are often partnered up for the sake of a story.

Tragedy comes in many forms, from the loss of a parent, a lover, a child, even a whole town or city, leaving the protagonist, our hero, as the only one left to deal with the situation.

They are obviously grieving, emotionally destroyed by the tragedy they have just dealt with, but they must soldier on.

Some stories just stick with the tragedy and refuse to have a happy ever after ending, which is fine, its your story and no one said it had to be a happy happy feel good book, but if you did want to give your hero something to strive for, some home, a light at the end of the tunnel, that’s where the rebirth plot is usually utilised.

We, as readers, love to see something good come out of a tragedy, we love to think that no matter how bad things get, there is always hope of something good just around the corner.

Rebirth stories are always popular. Think of a Christmas carol, with mean, skinflint Mr Scrooge meeting 3 ghosts who take him on a journey of self-discovery, where he will have to face up to the inevitable, if he continues as he is, he will die alone and unmourned by anyone.

He learns the error of his ways and wakes the next morning as a changed man, determined to do better for everyone around him.

So, there you have the 7 basic plots, and as I said before, although others may disagree, I believe they are useful to know and perhaps look at in more depth, especially if you have an idea for a book but are unsure on how to structure it.

Identify the type or types of story it is and then study the formula, fit it all together and get writing.

I once did an article explaining how the 7 basic plots all managed to fit into my book, Two Minutes to Midnight, before I even knew what they were. If you are interested in reading this article, let me know in the comments or DM me and ill get it up online for you all.

That’s all for today, so ill say blessed be and happy writing.

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#willowsalixauthor #paranormalromance #witch #bookseries #books #vampires #writer #how to write #writing tips #writing time #Seven Basic Plots #blog post #Youtuber

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ivy72376 · 2 years ago

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NEW BEGINNINGS, MAY 1-31, 2023

A discerning ear... According to some bio-medical sources, the sense of hearing is the first of the five senses developed in a human being, starting even while as a fetus in the womb, and the last to go at the point of physical death... And for one primarily visual learner like me and many of us, it is one where the input is quite difficult to remember for a long time too... But I noticed that in the Word, this sense is far more talked about regarding our God than the sense of seeing... For we are taught more often that 'God hears', especially sincere and humble prayers of a contrite and repentant heart (not mouth, meaning our deepest desires, cares and sorrows, even unspoken)... And this seems to be key in how we obey His command to love our fellowman too, as in, when we 'play-by-ear' what other people are feeling, saying between the lines, their situations and conditions, before we even utter a word... Much like the sounds of joy and weeping could not be distinguished in our story today, so too often it is difficult for people to sense from our words whether what we say are spoken out of pride and arrogance in our perceived seniority and superiority when we give advice or admonition, or genuine care and concern... But humble hearts are wise and pour forth wisdom... May we then strive for humility and meekness, that as we gain discernment of people, hearing what they are not saying, or trying to say but they cannot, we can always communicate in ways that build up and encourage, that blesses and inspires, that gives the right answer, that brings life and hope and peace...

#HappyMay312023

Unless the Lord builds the house... of your life, all your professions and proclamations of faith are in vain... Because the one whose life is built upon His firm and sure foundation has no need to doubt and fear about what happens tomorrow, for He is already there; and what we must do today is to do good and give our best in everything--in our labors, in faith and worship, in our relations with others... That manifests that indeed we believe that we have a God who blesses and restores, who both guides and leads in wisdom, and who gives due reward of mercy and peace to those who wait on Him, in whatever way, whenever...

#HappyMay302023

Seeing beyond... Means to have hope that in spite of life's present troubles, a better future still awaits... With the pandemic-turned-endemic, wars and disruptions, life for many has turned uncertain and dim, hopeless even, if statistics and surveys on how many young people around the world see their future be considered... Yet, we can still believe that as long as there is life, our Creator and Savior gives us a chance to do better and achieve greater things; as long as we can still wake up, and tomorrow becomes today, we are still given something to put our efforts to, to dedicate our energies and talents on, on becoming better people, and on making this world a better place...

#HappyMay292023

Because our God is not a God of miscommunication... Two millennia ago, on that fateful Pentecost holiday, the Word recorded one of its rarest miracles; that actually can be expained biologically if we take the time to marry science into faith, because young infants can actually communicate with each other regardless of race and language if put side by side... By speaking in tongues here do not mean the gibberish that some fake uttering in order to impress that they have felt the presence; but actually real, conversational and structured languages and dialects of different tribes and nations around the Jewish one... And much like today, if we claim to abide by the faith named after our Savior, we cannot use language nobody in their logical mind understands; we cannot preach fables and anecdotes, fantasies and conjectures, nor gloom-and-doom hearsay and prophesy but real issues... Because everyday life is terrible and horrific enough for us to create monsters in the minds of others; but loving our fellowman is and should be as real, tangible and true as our love of God... Gibberish mumbling does not manifest a baptism of the Spirit, but rather exhibiting the fruits thereof to one and all--faith brethren or not, favorite kin or annoying neighbor not withstanding... And we wait for the Spirit, we wait on it, not scream and conjure it into existence, until we feel tingling sensations (when accompanied with hoarseness of voice might actually very well lead to colds or flu rather than the 'Holy Spirit's Presence')... And when we appropriate the Jewish holiday of Pentecost, likewise, when the tongues of fire were sent to manifest that salvation is made available to all mankind--regardless of race and gender; then we fulfill its purpose when we open our lives to be poured out along with our Savior's streams of living water; that love, mercy, grace, forgiveness, reconciliation and eternal life be showered to all...

#HappyMay282023

Life is incremental and insidious... Because we do not find meaning in great breakthroughs and grand revivals, nor in sudden spurts of inspiration and bursts of courage and conviction; but the patience and persistence of living through and conquering our inadequacies and life's uncertainties everyday and each moment... Like what Zechariah reminded ancient Israel, may we not despise small, quiet efforts that build faith and resilience; because the lives we make are built on each little unrecognized task for the glory of our Maker, in the still, small voices of heartfelt and silent prayers, in the quiet help and support extended to those who need and are less capable, not in screams and shouts of vain and selfishly proud, yet empty adoration and fake praise...

#HappyMay272023

The wild card and the tactician... Was how one beloved drama nicknamed two of its fiercely competitive characters... In life too, we may often do our best to plan what we want, to strive to get what we believe is best, to carefully and judiciously curate what we present to society because we want them to believe we have perfect lives; but there is always a wild card... In Daniel's book and in the lives of His friends, it is the presence of God, His deliverance and care against the machinations of the enemy... If we worship and believe in the same God, we too can trust in this wild card; so that we can have the courage to break free from the chains of our pre-programmed and puppeteered existence into the wider, more unfamiliar, scarier and more challenging world outside... For in our weakness, He is our strength; and in our doubts, anxiety and uncertainty, He is our guarantee, our sure hope and confidence, our security and peace...

#HappyMay262023

The good neighbour... Seems to be the one commandment of our Savior most of us love to disobey... But truly, even when most of us consider wealth to be a measure of success, it is loving and being good to your neighbour, and living in peace with them--from your nearest housemate or kin, to those living around your abode--which is self-actualization for those of us who proclaim ourselves to belong to the faith named after our Savior... Instead of being rich and of high status in society, may we instead strive everyday to be good neighbors, and so do the will of the One who called us to eternal life, who told us to, "love our neighbour as we love ourselves"...

#HappyMay252023

March of the monitor... Another one of the things I truly miss living in the province is the regular sounding of the monitor lizard; which a former retired office mate said that every "tuk - ko!", means the pay has already been credited to the bank (lol)... Seriously though, because of urbanization and climate change, these creatures' habitat has steadily been degraded... On the spiritual side though, there is much to learn about the faithfulness of the monitor lizards in keeping time and seasons; unfortunately however, such is not the case when we monitor each other's personal or spiritual, mental and psychological performance and achievements... In the Word today we learn that each of us is accountable directly to God for our actions, whether that be to our lifestyle and preferences, how we treat others and make them feel... For a life full of anxiety and effort to prove our worth is vain; and unless you are a monitor lizard, don't monitor other people's life but your own... You can always pray for your concerns and fears, your doubts and inadequacies; and if you are concerned about others, it wouldn't impoverish you to lend a helping hand; and much

more, it enriches your soul to pray for others too...

#HappyMay242023

Different skreeks... One of the joys of living in the farm, which I miss so much living in the city, is the sound of critters at night... I've gotten so used to it that short of fully understanding what these guys are saying, and without looking at a watch, one would know what time of night it is approximately by the pattern of skreeks: few hours before midnight, they make, "skreek-skreek-skreek!" sounds repeatedly... After midnight, the pattern goes: "skrook-skreek, skrook-skreek, skrook-skreek!"... Those are just my interpretations though, as not being an entomologist, I still do not understand "bug language"... What's amazing though, is that our God and Creator has given us the bugs to coexist with, to remind us that if we keep pace with the earth through our daily endeavours, they too mark time and seasons, milestones and breakthroughs on their own terms and manner of communication... May we always learn to appreciate life and all creation, and do our part to preserve it and be the good stewards we were meant to be...

#HappyMay232023

Expecting rudeness... There are certain places and certain people from whom, because of involuntary observation, prior experience and knowledge, one can only expect rudeness, ignorance, tactlessness and entitlement... Which isn't surprising since the ancients, and even the Word, prophesy many people in these days to be so... But as a lifetime observer of people and seeing many time-honored and worthy values degenerate over time, one understands that there are still a few good people who exhibit acts of nobility, grace and kindness, but since they are treasures, are hard to come by and require much discernment... Thankfully, we have a God who triumphs over history and makes sure that our run in it will be filled with His presence and love, that we may manifest these to others too...

#HappyMay222023

Prayer is never intermittent... Probably because I am never a fan of diet and exercise, the word "intermittent", is not exactly one of my favorites (since I have already and will for a long time, associate it with a diet fad)... Just like being healthy starts with the ingrained habit of accepting your body shape and size, age, the effects of gravity, the accumulation of blessings and good things, diet should be preceded by the word "healthy"; and an everyday, every moment, unconscious habit... So I believe it is with prayer and communication with our God and the people He sends our way too... Because life goes on, and for as long as we breathe, as long as we still have the right and capacity to life, we also still have the obligation and ability to pray--not loudly for show or to influence and impress others, but silently, in still small voices that manifest the presence, the stillness, the peace and confidence of faith in a God who is everywhere, who is always willing to listen and respond in His own amazing ways...

#HappyMay202023

God's not deaf... That's worth repeating countless times to ourselves, until it becomes a default part of our system... As we diligently go through the rest of our lives living simply yet generously, in humility and respect, in freedom and fairness... That we have a God who hears our most silent prayers and wishes, and to whom we do not need to shout or scream for acknowledgment like spoiled brats, nor badger and nag repetitively for impact... When we give Him time to talk by being quiet and at peace, by slowing down and listening, He hears and answers, and gives us discernment to learn and understand about the good things He sends our way... May we keep that to heart, and be encouraged and strengthened for the rest of our journey...

#HappyMay192023

Grandparents' pet... Anyone who grew up close to or raised by grandparents can attest to how loving, soothing, and more understanding they are... Like a neighbour's kid this morning, who was crying and screaming because he doesn't want to go to school, but with a few soothing words from grandma, calmed down and reluctantly went ahead with his mom to prepare himself... Maybe that should be our great lesson in life too, as we are besieged by anxiety and worry, insecurity, OCD, PTSD, ADHD, and various other mental health conditions we deny and falsely attribute to us trying to make life perfect and whole... Because we can never have the perfect life with our own efforts; even how much we struggle to project our best; that can only come from the confidence and peace in knowing we have a God who appreciates us, who can relate to our struggles and tolerate our idiosyncrasies, but who always understands and is willing to give us a hand...

#HappyMay182023

Seen and valued... For many of us, it is a sad fact that we only value and recognize people from whom we believe we can reap benefits; but distance ourselves when those same people are in need themselves, not even bothering to give time to ask about their issues and concerns, their priorities and goals... And hurtful as it may seem, but that is normal human nature: to take advantage of people and situations, sometimes even inconveniencing them in inopportune moments, but discarding them when they have been bled dry... But thankfully we have a God of justice and provision; Who always looks out for the good of His people; who gives strength to the weary, deliverance to the abused, recompense to the disadvantaged, and hope and strength to the depleted... May we learn to value others as He values us; that in all situations we may be a blessing, not a burden; that we may be good influences, not burdensome hitchhikers...

#HappyMay172023

We know no one, not even ourselves... No, not our friends who only tell us what is good about their lives, who may share their struggles and hardships but only from their points of view, nor the influencers and online follows who only show their curated lives on socmed... But thankfully, we have a God and Creator who knows us inside out, who is fully aware of our potentials because He planned it, and who can equip us in every way even when we doubt our capacities... May we learn to tap into that eternal source of hope and strength, as we live the rest of our days manifesting His love and wisdom, His grace, generosity and mercy to all...

#HappyMay162023

You can't make a leaf, but you can be vertically aligned... It seems that the trouble for many of us is we think we can do anything we want if we put our mind to it... Quite the contrary though, for there are far too many things that other people do that we can't, nor can we even have control over our own bodily functions... Sometimes too we think we know everything, but are ignorant of even simple history, of people's personalities, and the workings of the cosmos... And so there is nothing left better for us to do than to humbly accept our shortcomings; and for the rest, to look up and trust that the One who designed and ordered the universe will also consistently put our lives in order... So that we do not subscribe nor compare our milestones and achievements with others; for to each of us is given grace each day, and a chance to do good and great with the lot given to us... That is, when we can't even create a living matter from non-existent ones, when we can't even understand how things and people came to be, what we can do is be vertically aligned to the One who gave us life, and to be horizontally in tuned with others, especially those whom He sent our way...

#HappyMay152023

The maternal instinct... Is what defines true motherhood... To care and nurture, to feed with food and wisdom, to teach and lead well, and to guide in humility and love... And not necessarily having your own physical kids... For there are those who have given birth, yet compete with their children for attention and affirmation, in acting childish, immature and clueless themselves... While there are those who haven't birthed with their bodies but with their hearts, in their wide and deep capacity to understand, to relate, to embrace diversities and quirks, in the love and acceptance they shower upon the difficult, the unlovable, the grumpy, the sarcastic, the bitter and depressed, the know-it-all... For we are all kids by heart, exploring ang journeying through life none the wiser... But for the rest of us who have learned to accept the good and bad while remaining joyful and hopeful, they are the mothers in us; and even with much or bereft of commercialism and trade, deserve to receive a worthy and heartfelt thanks and greeting: Happy Mother's Day...

#HappyMay142023

Non-dissimulated... Lately, as I got older, I have one other favorite Cebuano rendering of a rather deep word, one that I parroted from my late maternal grandparents, "dissimular"--to pretend to do something, but actually having different intentions or ulterior motives... And it seems our story and text today tell us that in order to live the proper life, we have to avoid that; although sadly, a lot of brethren seem to engage in that deplorable habit in a kind of hypocrisy, just to be called religious or holy, but underneath are full of envy and insecurity, fear and anxiety... It is good to heed the words of the apostle; for love indeed, cannot be manifested with fakery; and the false and pretense will always leak out and be discovered... May we be authentic people, in how we love and care for each other, in how we share our God's grace and goodness to one and all...

#HappyMay132023

Anger reveals who we are... This message really hits close to home, especially for the many of us who struggle with our tempers and patience... Because no matter how good we think we may be, how smart and accomplished, how wealthy, how strong in faith and convictions, how high in status, the moments that try our patience and tests our temper bring out the real us... And it is quite easy to feel superior and rant on others when we think they come up short, when we feel they block our way to getting what we want, when we think they commit a social or moral faus pax, than to see that the issue is us--or rather, our lack of understanding, patience, our carefully-masked up insecurity and fear, our photoshopped hypocrisy, that is tethering on the brink of a catastrophic reveal because someone 'got our goat'... May we understand that life is too short to waste energy on getting angry and forcefully demanding to be treated the way we think we deserve, but rather to be patient and appreciative at each little moment we are allowed to breathe, and to enjoy and do good with our short, vapor-like existence in the whole course of history and human interactions...

#HappyMay122023

How the birds and ants see... Is as different as night and day... Like seeing from the 91st story of a tall skyscraper, birds can see a lot, even the whole picture, but may miss the details... Much like people who often generalize things but fail to understand and be empathetic to the needs and issues of others... While those who see like ants can nitpick at the tiniest details, but can't even see what's beyond the corner, unless they have as keen a sense of smell as these our little creature friends... Thankfully we have a God who can see in both manners and beyond; so that even if the world neglects us, fail to see what we are really going through, uncognizant of our situations and the issues we face, He is always attentive to our needs, and desires that every day, in every way, we are at peace, and we enjoy all the love in His presence... May we have the humility to perceive, and the stillness and patience to wait on Him and His leading...

#HappyMay112023

We are only as good as our word... And we show whom and what we worship by how we deal with others through our words... Such is the case of our story today, of stolen amulets and figurines believed to bring good luck; of the sincerity, respect and consideration of our talk; and the manner in which we pray... For we do not serve a God that we can hold physically in hand, nor is He deaf and blind, nor His knowledge of languages limited, nor does He need us to touch amulets and figurines to invoke Him, nor for us to shout to the top of our lungs to call on Him or show the world that we worship Him... For He who created us is everywhere, and He did not manifest Himself to Moses from winds and the storms but through a gentle whisper... Likewise, we can only pray in secret, from the bottoms of our hearts; and we can only perceive Him as we obey His Word to do good to our fellowman regardless of who they may be, or whether they do good to us in return... Our God is Creator, He is in creation; He can never be held nor stolen nor adored and fellowshipped with exclusively, but in wisdom, in love, in peace and order amongst the chaos, in humility and grace amidst life's harassments and tragedies...

#HappyMay102023

Who knows us... A famous leadership expert says that in terms of promotion, it's not whom you know that's key, but who knows you... Funny, considering that in the workplace and in society, a lot more people would suck up to the powers-that-be, even putting others down just so they could rise up... Good thing to know that in the eyes of our Maker and Savior, it is His knowledge of us that ensures our endurance and deliverance... I never fail to get amazed at certain people whose prayers seem to always get good answers, and realize that indeed He is attentive to their cries, no matter when and where, and of whatever kind... Are our lives known by our God? Can He distinguish us inside out? Are our actions to Him and others distinguishable and marked with His presence, love and grace, and not for the likes and impressions we crave from people and faith brethren?... Even if we are incognito and irrelevant, unknown to the rest of the world, may we find confidence and peace, in the daily effort and connection, in the daily grace and privilege that we are known by Him...

#HappyMay092023

Vincit omnia Veritas... Is a famous quote made a motto of one of our local fraternities, as also plastered by them around the city's walls... And indeed, much as many unscrupulous and notorious people throughout history have tried to bury and cover it up, to falsify and smokescreen it, to change the narrative, it always comes out, delivering a hard comeuppance, determining and changing the course of history, discourse, civil, political and spiritual society... And when our Lord and Savior declared Himself to be the Truth, may we realize that a fake faith too does not pay; fake goodness and principles built on lies only lead to a sorry end, and a filtered, curated life is vain, joyless and devoid of peace and contentment... May we uphold the truth, be sincere and authentic, be discerning and profound, as we remain humble and understanding, generous, courteous and kind; for these are the ultimate manifestations of our love for our God, our love of our fellowman, and our love for life and creation...

#HappyMay082023

More than fellowship and human companionship, but His presence... That is what we need for right worship and relationship with our Creator, and that brings us salvation and inner healing... Like true friends who may be apart for decades but remain close at heart, so is our unseen God to those who truly love Him--unperceived by the physical senses, yet firmly convinced that His power and glory, His mercy and love surround and fill us each day... So that no matter the hardships in life, we do not need to manifest our own strength and power, we do not need to feel superior and rule over others, we need not accumulate much wealth and status; because if our faith is true, and our obedience in Him faithful and pure, He fills us with His presence, His strength, His wisdom, His humility and greatness in every situation... Indeed, a life truly reformed and transformed, a life destined for greatness even beyond the grave, starts here now in faith, in patience, in understanding, unassuming and humble, yet kind, courteous, tactful, magnanimous and real...

#HappyMay072023

Thankfulness is a lifestyle... And as such, it manifests God's Spirit in our lives... We can give thanks through words; but we can give thanks through deeds, especially when we pay forward, when we free ourselves from greed and pride, when we strip ourselves of vanity and envy, when we are generous and understanding, when we remain humble, helpful, resourceful and hopeful; knowing that because our God has dealt with us so graciously in the past, He is going to do more so now and in the future; and the thankful heart expresses and lives that attitude even now... Let's always give thanks to our God, and to the people He sends our way...

#HappyMay062023

Fruits borne by grace... We believe we have been saved from the death of our souls through the grace of our Maker and Savior... Pre-Jesus' time, Moses also experienced such when he repented of his murder, and self-exiled from civilization to live the nomadic life... And when such grace comes true in our lives, regardless of what we are and what we believe in, we become less selfish and judgmental, we become more giving and understanding, we stop imposing our own beliefs and convictions on others, we stop thinking we are better just because we attend church regularly, we have more degrees, we are more entitled because we have more connections, we have accumulated more friends and family, status and wealth... Grace bearing fruit in us is like that of Moses: transformed, reformed, stripped bare of the sandals of vanity; for in the Holy place of God's presence in our lives, there should be room only for listening to His will and plan for us, obedience to His leading, and doing greater things not by our intellect and strength, but by His power, and for His glory...

#HappyMay052023

The inner weapon... Is best, and manifests well in humble confidence... That in spite of our daily realities, a better life awaits, greater things lie ahead... And whatever may be our status in life, irrespective of wealth or language, a heartfelt prayer to our God and Maker is the most human and humane thing to do; acknowledging our mortality and dependence, and giving us courage to do good, to face life's challenges, to be a source of hope and inspiration, and to be a force for good to others... May we always be prayerful in any situation...

#HappyMay042023

Keep on walking... My late maternal grandpa reached 94 in relative good health due to a virtually stress-free disposition, exercising in his latter years through daily neighborhood hikes... And I just learned from a drama show that when drunk, taking a hike helps sober people up... One realizes that life indeed is challenging and burdensome; but a hike, a stroll, a regularly-cadenced stride helps to calm our nerves and alleviates anxiety, with the movement of which even modern-day doctors say is one of the most effective ways to prevent and cure inflammation, which they say is the leading cause of diseases... Yes, at whatever age, especially in our advancing years, as long as we keep to the safe paths, and watch out for falls and slips, steady, regular walking helps us achieve a good and healthy life... So it seems in the spiritual too: even with tiredness and disillusionment, diminished capacity and resources, discouragements and setbacks, as long as we keep on the right path on the journey and be careful not to give up, give in, slip up or fall down hard, we can hold on in hope and faith... Tiredness and sore bones are only temporary predicaments, not final judgments; we are tired and sore because we have done something, we have exerted our effort; but what should keep us on and help us endure is because we are doing, we are exerting, we keep on walking...

#HappyMay032023

Tuck Everlasting, and family... Was a fun read and an eye opener too... For many of us want to live and stay young longer; so much so that we do everything we can, and pay as much in procedures and for food and fad diets and exercise to do so... But taking it from a family who was always on the move because they wouldn't want to call too much attention on themselves when they never grew old and their neighbors did, would mean that such desires for immortality is alienating and insular... For our God has ordained that life and time take their course and toll on us, to develop and make us grow in wisdom and acceptance; and true beauty is manifested in us when we gracefully embrace our age, our status, our diminished capacities; because that would mean we are ever closer to Him in dependence, in spiritual and physical presence... Yes, the gray hairs and wrinkles, the wobbly knees and aching backs are bothersome, and friends and loved ones may leave, neglect or abandon us to move on to their next exciting life-phases; but if we can find confidence and hope that our Savior had prayed for us and loves us so much, and He intends in every way to provide and care for us, then the advancing and twilight years are more than welcome... The farther we go and the longer we spend in life means the closer we get to our ultimate victory in His kingdom...

#HappyMay022023

That one candle stand... In the church of the sectarian school I teach, there is a religious icon assemblage of a half-naked Christ, fronted by rows of 12 candlesticks, with 5 directly in front of the icon, 6 in the next row, and 1 alone in the third... I realize that it depicts the disciples after the Lord's death and resurrection; particularly after the treacherous one, Judas, committed suicide, and was replaced by Barnabas the Encourager... And so we learn that in our faith and life journey, we get into our breakthroughs, we persevere and endure not only of what we are, what we have and what we believe in; but because our God sends "Encouragers" - - friends and family whom we do not realize become our real life coaches, and who and with whom we share our faith and reason for hope... May we not let the spirit of fear, pride, discouragement and disillusionment make us lose sight of our life's purpose and goal; may we be sensitive to the needs of others and not just say in words but act to encourage and inspire; while we open ourselves up to the encouragement of those who truly care for us, to guard ourselves well, yet to not forget the lesson from those who seek to belittle, insult, oppress, abuse and take advantage of us... For no matter what we encounter in our journey, we are confident that our Savior who finished His work for our salvation, will also complete His work in us as we live that gift and grace throughout our lives...

#HappyMay012023

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comunityministry · 3 years ago

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Blessings! Today Sunday, April 24th. The second Sunday of Easter. Feels strange as most of us in Northern N.D. have not had services in our congregations for a few weeks! We know we have to stay safe and best of all we know who is keeping us safe and who's we are! Thank You dear Lord and Savior God! Today's Gospel in John 29: 19-31 Thomas answered him, "My Lord and my God!" Contrary to what we have often been taught, it isn't doubt that defines Thomas. John 11: 16; Thomas is willing to go with Jesus to death. Thomas is brave. In John 14, Thomas says " Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?" Thomas is honest. Now in verse 28 of John 20, Thomas proclaims, "My Lord and my God"! In both praise and confession of who Jesus is. Thomas is brave. Thomas is honest. Thomas is faithfull, confessing Christ as the Risen Lord! Let us pray. Risen Christ, bring your peace to our hearts. Amen.

Time of Grace inspired me today with Pastor Navotnie's words. If you treasure your wife but you love God even more then your wife. If you appreciate your good grades in school but you love God more, you will have so much more peace and so much more joy than you can have! Spiritual for not liking each other is disordered love. We end up in same space but we have different orders for our loves. When you can't do everything in life what is the order of your love? Health, family, school, work, friends, church. Which do you do first? To get a good job after school you have to sacrifice a lot. To realize or know all of our priorities -- ours, theirs and God’s. What we love most and implications of that love? Order of our loves. Top of order-- for the loves of our heart. Moses , in first commandment , 'You shall have no other gods before me.' Exodus 20: 3; God is our first Love at top of order of loves. In Martin Luther's small catachism, (from our confirmations ) pg one- you should have no other Gods before me- What does this mean? --We should fear, love and trust in God above all things. Many times in bible in Psalms about God's unfailing love. God's Love Never Fails. When anything else is above God on the list, you are so close to heartbreak. Mathew 6:13; But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. God IS our First Love. God deserves to come first. Number one! Figure out your order-- Number two! Figure out their order, (the closest people in your life) . Dear God help us love people better. Number three! Hate or being easily angered, sabatagues the mission of Jesus and everything is messed up! Thank God for His Order in Love. Jesus did not put himself first. God humbled himself so we could become exalted! He gave us Himself and He is worthy of our first love. We love because He first loved us. We are God's children. Amen.

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godfirstgodalways · 7 years ago

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Hey, I’m not trying to start anything- I just had a question I guess? So I was taught that God hates sin because sin hurts people, which makes sense to me- lying, stealing, cheating, and so on, have the potential to hurt people. But if being gay or bi or trans doesn’t hurt anyone, why would god hate it & why would it be a sin? Again, not trying to fight, just want to know if I’m not understanding something correctly & be the best follower of Christ I can me, sorry if it comes off the wrong way

Not at all. :) I would probably have the same question if I didn’t already understand. There are many sins that don’t seem like they hurt others, such as idolizing people like celebrities, giving in to temptation by eating foods you know you shouldn’t be eating especially when you prayed to God to make you healthier, secretly judging people, putting aside God’s convictions (ignoring that still voice that speaks His truth), smoking pot for recreational purposes even though you’re doing it in the privacy of your own home, habitually swearing even if it’s just around people who most likely have the same habit, procrastinating, masturbating, watching porn, the list goes on…

What all these sins have in common and more including the ones that hurt people is that there’s zero obedience. There’s a lack of discipline, there is no self-control. These sins are a result of giving in to the flesh, living in your own terms, pleasing your own nature, and basically choosing what you want and not what God wants for you. This world is sinful but God knew we needed grace, that’s why He sent His Son, Jesus. By accepting Christ as our Savior, we also accept discipline into our lives. But people forget that. They think it’s a one and done deal, that if you accept Christ or get baptized, you have a guaranteed spot in heaven, which is religious thinking. And they go on living as they please, basically wasting His grace. The awesome thing about growing in Christ is over the years you mature. Christian or not we will continue to sin until we die. In this case the difference between a mature Christian and a new Christian or someone who is not Christian at all is the mature Christian should sin relatively less, which means they’ll also receive more blessings from God. If they still sin as much as they did in the past before they gave their life to Christ, then either they are probably lukewarm Christians or they gave up altogether and are content with their old ways. They have become stagnant in their spiritual walk, the vision they once had and were passionate about serving the LORD is no longer as clear as before. Their purpose is blurred, so they go on to find happiness in the wrong things, from materialistic things, to drugs, to relationships, to work….We forget that accepting Christ is everyday, which means we need discipline everyday. Discipline comes from the word disciple. A follower and believer of Christ must practice it everyday if they are truly disciples of His.

I had a potential to be gay. I kid you not. If I didn’t discipline myself to stop certain thoughts and stop entertaining myself with the possibility then I would’ve continued pleasing the flesh, and would’ve eventually identified as bisexual or lesbian. But because of the positive influence I was around growing up, from church, youth group, summer camps and winter camps, the Christian club I had in my school, and just being around other Christians who didn’t necessarily have a one on one talk with me, but what I learned was ingrained in my head as wisdom. Even though I didn’t have a day to day relationship with God, I had enough positive reinforcement to listen carefully to my convictions and obey Him. Had I not, I would’ve continued to be mesmerized with the idea of same-sex relationships, I would’ve delved deeper into the possibilities by exploring my alter-ego. I wouldn’t know about the importance of humility and I would’ve continued to be proud. It is actually a sin to be proud (Proverbs 16:5).

If anyone calls themselves Christian but choose to believe they have this side that is uncontrollable, that is not of God. Recognize its desire to be independent and free, don’t continually feed it’s wants. Starve it. It is not of God. Once a person is sold to God, they become a bondservant of Christ; they have accepted that they are identified with Christ, and there is no such thing as a second self in you as a whole. There is the life of Christ in you, but when you identify with Him, you become one with God. I believe the acceptance of a second self, an alter-ego, is where developed personality disorders come from. The more a person is identified with things, ideas, persons, and not solely on God, the more anxiety welcomes itself into their life. If you are a Christian, it means you acknowledge and agree as being one with God. You must strive to have the characteristics of Christ, to love like Him and think like Him. Period. He was sent to serve as the greatest example for all humans. Daily, each person must put to death their old selves along with their sins through surrender and be resurrected and reborn with the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God.

Personality type tests, astrology/zodiac signs, opinions of others you have made become your reality….anything that you have ever believed in about who you are without truth from the Bible has the potential to divide your heart and soul. But identifying yourself with Christ alone and not the things of this world assures you that He will protect your integrity, where you remain whole and complete in God. The more a person entertains said truths about themselves apart from what God says about them in the Bible, is essentially a way of worship. Whatever has a higher importance than God to you (anything that doesn’t have Him as the purpose behind your intentions), by entertaining those thoughts, they become your god. Pay attention and make sure you are worshipping God and not other gods. In homosexuality’s case, it is the desires that come with it that are put before God, which makes them a slave to themselves and the rest of the world. There is no obedience there when it comes to honoring Him with the mind and body they were given. Christian homosexuality hurts families and loved ones, it hurts the life of Christ inside them when they allow their minds and bodies to be enticed in such a way. There’s gay porn and that hurts people, but we don’t hear about it. It may even tear heterosexual relationships apart. It hurts the soul of the one who identifies themselves as gay and proud. God has so much better for them if they just surrender and obey. Our lack of obedience leads to more sins, which bites us in the butt sooner or later. He wants our obedience no matter what, wether you’re gay or not because there is a lot of evil in this world, and He only wants what’s best for us. We don’t even know what’s best for us a lot of the times, but our Creator does. I believe that discipline leads to obedience, and obedience to trusting God more, and trust to more faith, and more faith to more peace and joy, to more wisdom/growth/maturity.

I remember listening to a guest speaker on Focus On The Family. I forgot her name, but her story was really interesting. She said since the day she could remember, she has always had an attraction towards the same sex and didn’t understand it, but knew it was wrong. I forget if she ever had relations with other women, but anyway, she started going to church after she was invited by a friend…she felt so welcomed and no one condemned or judged her. She made genuine friends who became her prayer partners, and eventually her relationship with God led her to have stronger convictions, and although it was a long process, one day it became clear to her that she no longer had these gay thoughts and feelings. She felt a joy and peace she had never encountered before. She started dating Christian men, and now she and her man are happily married. There are more true stories like this that we don’t hear about. Often we think it’s impossible to convert anyone from gay to straight. That’s true because it’s not our job. Only God has the power to do that. But imagine if the Christians she got to know judged her or easily gave up on her?…she would not have changed her sexual identity, but more importantly she would not have truly gotten to know Jesus Christ, her Savior, and she would not have completely identified her life to His. Check out these posts Homosexuality: Real Hope and Real Change. Thank you! I hope this helped. God bless! :)

James 4:12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

1 Timothy 1:8-11 We know that the law is good if one uses it properly. We also know that the law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine that conforms to the gospel concerning the glory of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Proverbs 11:2 The LORD Almighty planned it, to bring down her pride in all her splendor and to humble all who are renowned on the earth.

James 4:6 But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

Philippians 2:1-2 So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.

Philippians Chapter 2 - Imitating Christ’s Humility

By His Grace, Sheela (Via godfirstgodalways)

#godfirstgodalwaysreply #anon ask #homosexuality #lgbqt

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i-remember-there-was-mist · 7 years ago

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A message from your voice teacher.

People often tell me, “I want to ask my teacher this, but I’m afraid to...” Or, “I think my teacher hates me because I’m not good enough.” And I wanted to give you guys some perspective from the other side, of what goes through my head with my lessons and my students.

I do not think less of you for being a beginner or more of you for being advanced. And to go farther, my favorite students aren’t necessarily the ones who are objectively “best.” You are here with me, working. That’s what matters. You are where you are supposed to be, and you’re striving to be better. That is the most exciting thing in the world to me, and I really don’t care one way or the other where you’re at in your journey. I’m not going to judge you for your obstacles. I’m just here to stand beside you and help you tackle whatever it is that’s ahead of you.

I don’t compare you to my other students. As with the above statement, in that thirty minutes or hour or whatever it may be, it’s your time. I am not sitting there wishing you were somebody else or comparing you to somebody else I work with, because their journey is different from yours. It’s impossible to compare, in fact, because you’re all so different.

I can tell when you don’t practice and I’m not mad at you for not practicing. It’s your time, it’s your progress, it’s your journey. It’s no skin off of my nose if you don’t practice, because it’s not my journey. I get that sometimes you’re busy, and I’m not mad about that! I’m genuinely happy you’re in the room working with me, and if you practiced, great. We’ll be able to really accelerate forward. If you didn’t practice, that’s fine too. But I can tell. You really can’t trick me, friends.

Every person is in lessons for different reasons. There is no one size fits all lesson for each person, and one of my favorite parts of teaching is tailoring my lessons to what you need. It’s fun for me. So when remember that when you come in, the time is yours. We will do what you want and work towards your goals. You don’t need to try to do what I want, because they’re not my lessons! It’s 100% focused on you.

What makes a student of mine a favorite student? It comes down to something surprisingly simple--curiosity. The students who I can’t wait to work with are the ones who come in with questions, successes, failures. They’re the ones that come in and say, “I tried that exercise we did last week and I was so lost, I couldn’t feel my diaphragm engagement anymore, can we go through that process again?” Or they say, “I was doing that exercise in the shower and I nailed it for the first time on my own! I have no idea how to recreate it, what do we do?” Or perhaps they say, “I don’t get the ‘ee’ vowel. Break this down for me, I’m lost.” They’re not necessarily the smartest or the most advanced...They’re the ones that are curious about what they’re doing. They don’t have all the answers, but they are constantly playing around with the concepts and come in eager to add to their toolbox. There is nothing more fun for me than having a student come in and have them say, first thing, “Okay, I have a list of questions.”

I’m not offended if you don’t get a concept. I am very aware when students say, “Yep, I get that, got it, we’re good,” but they don’t get it. They think they need to tell me “yes, I heard you, and I picked up the concept,” because I’ll be sad or offended or disappointed if they say that I didn’t explain it well to them. I look at singing as this massive concept that can be taught in any number of ways, and even within my own technique, I have tons of strategies to teach each various concept. Because each person learns differently! So when people say to me, “Actually, I don’t get that, I couldn’t feel what you wanted me to feel,” I’m not annoyed at all. It just makes me go, hey, let’s think of it in a new way and see what clicks! It helps me learn how you learn, and it makes lessons more fun for both of us. There are no brownie points for “getting” every concept on the first try.

Your discoveries are thrilling to me. When something clicks for you, I am celebrating. I absolutely adore that light bulb moment for students, regardless of what it is you’re discovering. Those moments are why I teach.

If you stop taking lessons with me for whatever reason, I don’t hate you. Maybe I don’t click with you as a teacher--that’s okay! I’d rather you find someone who fits you as a learner, because that’s the most important thing to me. Maybe you got super busy with school or work and lessons don’t fit into your schedule--I understand! Perhaps you can’t make it work financially, or singing lessons weren’t what you expected them to be. Of course I love seeing you and hearing your voice, but there is no part of me that is offended or upset if you discontinue lessons. And if you decide to pick them back up, I will be here!

I feel truly honored to be a part of your life. My sister is a therapist and we talk a lot about how singing and voice lessons and therapy have a lot of similarities. I feel like I know many of my students very well and see a lot of their highs and lows. I am honored and humbled that you allow me into that vulnerable part of your life. I am so grateful that you let me walk you through a very scary and unknown process, and that you trust me. I find you brave, courageous, and pretty badass overall.

#big post

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its-all-good-in-theory · 4 years ago

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Why the title?

So I named this blog “its-all-good-in-theory” but why? I thought I should take a moment to answer this question. If ever there was a rule follower who tried her best to do everything right, it was me. I was awarded a certificate in 9th grade from my Bible teacher called “Striving for Righteousness”. I honestly wasn’t sure it was meant to be a compliment since I had fussed at him about a grade of mine he had entered in his book that was incorrect. He gave mine out last and said to the entire class that he wasn’t sure what character quality to name me for so he made this one up for me instead. But for better or for worse, he was right. I always tried to follow every rule because I had the expectation that if I did everything right, God would bless me. The problem is that how I defined a “blessing” and what God’s blessings truly are were two very different things.

Somehow in the grand scheme of things God intervenes on our behalf because no matter how hard we try, the end results of life situations are not often within our control. We certainly cannot control other people and honestly, sometimes we aren’t able to fully control our own selves as we would like to. Even the Apostle Paul said that the good that he wants to do, he doesn’t, and the evil which he does not want to do, he does. (Rom. 7:19) We can strive to follow all of the rules and in theory make our plans for the future, but the future does not belong to us. The famous poet Robert Burns once said, “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry”.

The good things that I planned for my life as a young woman did not transpire. The goals I aspired to did not come to pass or took many more years than I ever would have imagined to complete. The accomplishments that I thought were expected of me turned out to go completely wrong. I wasn’t able to finish college due to lack of funds, my first marriage ended in divorce, and now as a mother of teens/young adults I’ve felt the sting of others’ critical looks as my children have dabbled in all of the things the world has to offer. Much to my chagrin, no matter how I led my children in morning devotions studying the Bible for 16 years, my children are bound and determined to prove to themselves that I was too strict, or that I sheltered them too much. So I wait and watch as the Lord deals with them and their expectations much like He did with me. We all go through it; it just may look at little different in all of our lives.

What I see now though as an adult hopefully halfway through my life is that at age 20 I thought that I knew exactly what my life was going to look like. I knew who I wanted to marry. I knew what I wanted to study in college. I had big dreams. I was creating a masterpiece in my mind. This was my life’s work right? I had spent a good 16 years planning all these things out. What I didn’t realize is that my masterpiece would have looked like this.

It was a drawing of stick figures. Nothing more than a three year old could have made. And no matter how difficult it was for me that my Father in Heaven took that away from me and put a clean canvas in front of me, it was necessary. I needed to learn how to paint a masterpiece, and He was ready to teach me. I wasn’t ready to be taught though. I was angry that He took my stick drawing away from me. I didn’t know how my life would turn out without all of things that I thought that I had wanted.

I also didn’t know that when He taught me how to paint my life’s masterpiece that I would have to suffer in order to learn. Humility was what I was lacking. I couldn’t learn anything without this character quality and so began my lesson in humility as I embarked on marriage and motherhood with an abusive husband. Not everyone has to attend the school of hard knocks, but I guess I did. Those experiences made me who I am today. They will be a very essential part of my life’s masterpiece when I finish my life on this earth. What I learned in those very difficult eight years I wouldn’t trade now to have had an easier life. The master creator and artist knows best how the deep dark colors of the painting that may look like a mess in the beginning will look amazingly beautiful when it is done.

This is what I aspire to now, that the Master artist would make a beautiful painting of my life because He knows best what will look gorgeous in the end. I recently attended a funeral service for an amazing lady that lived 97 years on this earth. That day I witnessed what a masterpiece the Lord can make of someone’s life when they are willing to be taught by Him. I can only hope that if I stay willing to learn and willing to be humble to whatever the Lord allows in my life that He can make my life’s work half as beautiful as hers was. I think many of us get stuck when God takes away our artwork and trades it out for a new canvas and clean brushes. I don’t honestly think I’m alone in that experience. May we be willing to embrace a clean slate, a change of plans, or a difficult experience so that we may be able to enjoy the blessing of a grand masterpiece when our lives are through because God is good.

“For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man: that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.” Eph. 3:14-21

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paganchristian · 4 years ago

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The Blue Angels, we saw one day at a park, practicing their routine. Routine. For show. Dangerous, well I don’t know how dangerous it is, for them who have practiced and trained and are experts at it, but of course it would scare me if I could ride in one, along for the ride. Zooming by at racing speeds. Blue angel. Sad angel. It makes me think.

(Note: After I wrote all of this, I thought, maybe this sounds overly-negative and stereotyping of religion, and I know that certain religions and denominations are different, but for the religious group I am drawn to, these things seem common, based on my observations. I know that not all religious people are like this,... And in the group I’m drawn to, as well, they do not all fall into all of these stereotypes,.. anymore than humans in general and culture and morals in human society, regardless of religion, fall for the same traps,..

But in order to make sense of what I so commonly see, I have to air the dirty laundry and see what I so often see, in detail. Even though many religious teachings actually warn and condemn the things that I speak of below, still, the truth is hypocrisy is rampant. It’s like the whole, “Might makes right”, again, because maybe people in power do promote some good things, but they say how and when they have to be done in certain ways, and they say what you can and can’t say about it all. Some go against the whole might makes right and think outside the box, see through some negative or contradictory messages in religions, and choose to lay them aside, and focus on the more positive and logical things in it, and the things that work within their own experiences. That is what I want to do. To make my own experiential, personal Jesus (ah yes, thank you, Depeche Mode, for that phrase). The one who gives me messages, and signs and ideas that oftentimes go outside of religious rules and criticize them and promote things that are taboo in religion. So that is what I want to talk about here... Anyway, so that being said, here are the thoughts stirred up with the thoughts of the Blue Angels.

It makes me think of more associations for me, feeding my mind’s intuitions and connections of ideas to express what I can’t say, that’s repressed. Suppressed, maybe a better word, yet to me it doesn’t contain the extent of stifling and unconscious dissociative forgetfulness that the trauma does to me when I try to think of certain things. They bubble up to the surface, they sit there, halfway visible through the murky water, but then if I try to get closer, see them more clearly, they vanish again.

Hmm,... so let’s see,... We are supposed to be angelic, to be fast, that is to say always busy, to do a lot, stay purposeful, never aimless, don’t be idle,... and we’re for show. We have to show the world our beliefs, show God we believe and are willing to do what he wants, and serve him, amply serve him, we have to spread our beliefs all around, and prove our loyalty in action so we know it’s not just words and thoughts, but “the real thing”.

Religious things are for show, to prove we measure up, to correct our not measuring up and failing, the prescription for that, that they give, that we’re supposed to follow, if we believe what they say. That is one association. We are blue, we are sad,... We are supposed to be sad, solemn, humble, serious, ever thinking of Heaven (and of Hell, and what to do to save ourselves and others so we go to Heaven and not Hell,... And, so we don’t waste our lives with idleness and fun but always do somber, serious, good deeds, religious rituals, to prove our worthiness and show it, to ourselves, so we can know that we’re going to Heaven, and to others, so they can agree, yes, we’re going to Heaven, we’re safe, we’re good, not evil,... And so we can be good example to save others too so that they can be helped with our example and likewise hopefully go to Heaven and not Hell. And so they can be changed and transformed by our prayers too, so they can go to Heaven and not Hell, hopefully, because bit by bit the energy of our prayers an the grace we have obtained through God and the saints will influence them, maybe so slowly and outside of our external actions and awareness, working in their hearts. So we have to perform by praying, praying, all the time. ). And the funny thing is I think some of this is really somewhat true, but not all the way. There are holes and flaws in this simple, pared down paradigm.

We are supposed to be for others, if the “others” here includes God, who can include and thus transcend all others, as for those who live lives of religious isolation ... live for others, be selfless, giving, loving, whether by prayer or by action, but both are valid, even if we spend our time doing nothing but praying, not spending time with them, or nothing but trying to be a moral example to them and teach them, rather than interacting with their real feelings, ideas, and thoughts. The grace of God can change them by our mystical energy and influence, that way. And it seems like it’s really all for show for others, flashing by and performing feats for others, (or for our religious authorities as in the case of monastic life, and then, for the internalized God figure in our minds... Which we have imbibed so thoroughly we believe totally in the God we made in our own image, because I do believe in God, but not the one they depict, in some ways).

We are always trying, or thinking we should try, ... to spend all our time just rushing to perform feats for others, or slaving away in religious rituals, either way working so hard, doing so much, never rest, idleness is the devil’s plaything. Work of the soul, or of the body, or both, but work, work, never rest. Or if you get to rest, you rest only in God’s presence, once again the rest is found inside of the work of worship, which starts to feel like joy and not work, once you are spiritually advanced enough,... And, so again, if you dare to say you’re not finding rest in the worship of God, then you have to repent and work hard, till you are given grace from God so that you can do better, because a good soul will find rest in God. All the rest and all the joy they need they will find in either God and/or in serving others.

We train hard our whole lives through but it makes it look so easy because we practiced our lives away to get so good at it you can’t see any strain in our actions and our behavior and our demeanor. We look at peace, confident, and it all seems totally fitting and right.

And with all this training, there is no time for just living, without an agenda and moral judgment for every action we take, ... And we can’t just be spontaneous, ... we have to make it look easy, though it’s rehearsed. But we make it look easy, instead, like our whole life is authentically nothing but this performance, a sincere, willing, heartfelt performance. If we fail we have to redirect our efforts not towards understanding why we failed or if we are allowed to fail but towards groveling for forgiveness and seeking to perfect our act, training, training, or if we know it’s actually an act, we hide that as much as we can because we keep trying till we can make the act real, and we’re too scared and ashamed to do anything but hide it from those who would attack us. We are too scared of Hell or of just being a bad person altogether, according to the ideas we’ve been taught,... So we hide from our own minds the fact that we cannot even do this, that it’s not sincere, that it’s fake.

The working hard, the training and striving and performing... Is supposed to be our purpose in life. It’s taught to us that this struggle is the only real, true way to be good, ... It’s the only real authentic way of caring for what is in our hearts and souls, so it’s not really supposed to be a performance or just for show. At least, that is what they say. If you can make yourself believe it.

And we humans and our minds are not that logical beyond a certain point, quite unconscious oftentimes, despite our illusions to the contrary,... So because of that, if you tell yourself something enough times over and over every day and have it forced on you by your whole social environment too,... Well, you’ll believe it in time. And if you have a whole set of rituals, books, and so on, prayers, fear-based ideas and belief and it all comes together and you believe. The belief can last your whole life through. Especially for the authorities you’re supposed to follow and to defer all your power and thought to their better judgment, supposedly better judgment. And your friends, your family, all in social solidarity, uphold the illusion. For those in authority, they also sign away their freedom. Everyone is in a hierarchy, and Everyone enforces the standards of behavior, belief and performance and the whole lifestyle, so very tight-knit and so very blanketing everything in your whole world you can’t see though this thick veil that distorts and outright blocks and alternative way of seeing or being. The authorities aren’t free from pressure and being controlled. They’re controlled by the need to measure up and be respected... the role they’ve been trained into from the time they were little beginner people aspiring on the path to being one of them, one of the ones who serve, who submit to the values they’ve been shaped and wrapped around with their whole lives growing up till at maybe their 20s they choose to do what is right, what they’ve been taught and compelled to believe is right their whole lives.

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violetsystems · 5 years ago

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#personal

I watched most of the inauguration through Lady Gaga on Wednesday. Regardless what you think about politics in America, we can all admit the moment changed decisively. Or at least the side of us that don’t storm capitols with guns or anything. My landlord stutters to find words for me other than “good” when I deliver the rent check early. So by now, these kind of winds of change solidify something about me at least. Regardless what you’ve heard about me people talk nonetheless. Just like they talk shit about the president whoever it happens to be at the time. America has always been extremely tribal. You don’t have to watch Gangs of New York to figure that one out. I live in a city with a well defined Sanctuary culture. I’ve walked the walk and talked the talk the last four years. Living under Trump with that kind of pressure and fear daily starts to turn neighborhoods into pressure cookers. Everyone is on edge. Nobody knows how to be nice. Wednesday I decided to put my best foot forward in this new era and shovel the snow on the block. It didn’t go unnoticed. I definitely got some dirty looks which is something I’m used to by now trying to put some good in the world. One of the gang members on the block came up to me later that day to thank me at least. They don’t live here on this block but they also shovel the snow. They’re named after a chess piece. I’ve already told the story about footwork dj’s bragging they used to come over here and beat the crap out of them. The savagery I’ve seen and heard about over the years doesn’t shock me. Rich people have been pitting poor people against each other out here for years. Some might call it the “Daley Way.” Others might look to scandals surrounding machine politicians who’ve held offices for years on end. Trump couldn’t get enough of calling us a corrupt city. But generally he got away with a lot of dirty tricks on the ground here without much consequence. Anyone with half a brain and street sense these days doesn’t trust much authority at all. And yet I voted in this election pretty clearly for the current candidate. So I do pay attention to the presidency a little more intently these days. While watching some executive orders get signed the subject came up about the damage of what happened to people like myself. It was a word I hadn’t heard. The word was dignity. Through the last six months, I seemingly lost it all. My job, my entire friend network, the last twenty years of professional connections. It vaporized as if it was never there in the first place. Dignity is the right of a person to be valued and respected for their own sake, and to be treated ethically. When I think about dignity it makes me cry. Because it’s the thing I never had. Most of us do not have it in this current climate even though we kid ourselves we do. We don’t even bother to treat each other with dignity because we’re so busy looking out for ourselves. Communities lose trust. People become isolated and edgy. Hope dies with the days that don’t change. It is just me out here. Or is it just us? In that six month void of watching ancient history peel away and forget you even existed, I thought a lot. I struggled and became something more resilient. And I saw the same old problems staring back at me from a different vantage point I call home. I kept my dignity intact paying the bills and keeping my mouth shut. And yet things have not gotten much better other than my finances and my muscle tone. I’m humble about everything by default because I’m still deeply hurt it was all taken away. The dignity for others is pretty much linked to self respect. Some people don’t know how to treat themselves better. Some people don’t know how to be good because we reward absolute vapidity, selfishness and greed.

I will always strive to be good. I’ve written here on my “vent blog” week after week to report that. Only to have it joked about, ignored, copied, and dismissed by some people. You can’t stop good connecting to the source. If you stay focused and in the proverbial light you will some day make it through. My birthday is next month. A third birthday in a row where nobody other than my parents and the internet reach out. One year I flew to New York during fashion week and spent the entire trip alone. Of all the fourteen trips to Korea, none of them were with anyone but myself. I’ve only had myself to rely on through all of this at times. And yet through the process of trying to be better I’ve met better people. Maybe through all this I’ve learned how to be a better person for people as well. But for the most part I’m still just as invisible as I was. Neglected and disrespected for years by people I trusted. And whatever happened was a sort of forced letting go. I was a black hole on a balance sheet during a pandemic. My pension was a liability. Friends that I still talk to now feel comfortable acknowledging that I was done dirty. But that’s it. No resolution. No opportunities. A period of intense exile. Like I was being taught a lesson. And the opposite happened. As dumbfounding as it is to go through the entire process, I’ve found hope in bettering myself in small ways. I didn’t close off or shut down. I managed intense feelings of sadness and anger by pacing myself. I wrote about what I felt week after week. I made small corrections. I added up my spending. I tried to live my life without friends or company other than my cat. A neighborhood exists around me that is persistent with characters of all backgrounds. My mother is getting vaccinated next week. Others will follow shortly after. Chicago for the most part has adjusted to the hardships of the new normal. We just keep pushing on like the song. And yet people become callous, elite, and separate. Two sides of a city. The rich and the people who live and walk the streets here. If you’ve held it down this long most people appreciate when you are still around. And yet people around here are still deeply motivated by fear and scarcity. America is the same way. It judges people’s worth not on their singular talents but by comparison and control. It’s nervous when you have the confidence to go it alone and embarrassed to admit it did so out of neglect. America is worse. Much like the army, it tries to break down your uniqueness for the benefit of the whole. Herd you into groups that can be managed instead of celebrating the individual will. The mediocrity that is celebrated is the celling in which you threaten to crash. Everybody would rather sabotage your plans than see you succeed without them taking a cut. Everybody would rather have a judgement to hang over your head when you creep past them in a race fair and square. And when things start to get less dirty and the air clears, the history remains. People still lie. People still try to tarnish everything you have done out of a deep hatred. A hatred that they couldn’t rub you out. That you remind them how worthless they really are. Being good gets you targeted time and time again by jealousy and lawlessness. And I don’t want to be anything but good.

Lies and truth have their own infrastructure. Blockchain as a technology is based on trust. We keep secrets possibly because no one knows what we risk at the end of the day. We tell lies instead of saying nothing at all because we feel pressured to be transparent. Everyone wants to know every little thing for both good and bad reasons. Being able to stand up to the lies and speak the truth can be subjective in a post truth era. After all the things I’ve lost, I have no real time for games that are set up against me. I play enough Hearthstone for that. But communities are often to blame for proliferation of disinformation. Sometimes people get manipulated. Sometimes entire histories on a person get buried accidentally. Sometimes people tell other people behind your back never to talk to you. I’ve lived this. I have never felt so isolated in my life. As if the real intention was to break down my dignity to manipulate me further. And largely that is what happened whether you want to process that or not. I’m reminded when I deal with how fucked up my health insurance is that nobody really gives a shit. But there’s a reason it persists. And there’s no consequence to the lies that people uphold in the face of a fairly inconvenient truth. We make a choice to support or ignore. We make a choice to acknowledge the dignity of somebody being alive and in pain. And I’ve seen people just walk away. I’ve also seen people in my life grow closer in a way I cannot explain. When I feel that feeling. When I feel that love, I try to put more love back into the world. I try to create a little bubble around me that protects all the good in my life I still have. To make a place for us to all live with dignity regardless of what we believe, who we fuck or what kpop band we ship on the internet. I literally fucking tried every day and then some. And I literally have faced the worst kind of loneliness you could ever face. Uselessness. That whatever I do doesn’t matter much compared to what I used to be. I used to be a slave. A revenue generator for an investment scam maybe. A body to manipulate for information. A person to spy on all over the world without my consent. I’ve lived all these situations in such damaging ways for years with no recourse and nobody to listen other than here. Week after week on my vent blog people joke about behind my back. No one really knowing that this is about the truest I could ever be with anyone. And knowing after all the hell I’ve been through, that it matters. What I say and what I write. Because it’s the truth. I am a good person. I do try to be in the face of the worst kind of attack on my freedom. They tried to take away my dignity. They can lie about it all they want. It doesn’t mean they’ll get anywhere further with me. It’s already behind me. That’s how you keep your dignity here in America. By proving them wrong. <3 Tim

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