#we literally went out to do three quick things and only (barely) had time to get coffee and head home

[ruff-puppy]

Oh lawd it snowin

(there's only a 45 minute difference between these pics)

[talkdutchtome]

"Let me take care of you" - Max Verstappen

pairing . . . max verstappen x reader )

genre . . . smut )

summary . . . after a disastrous race, you take care of max the best way you know how )

warning . . . smut, 18+ MINORS DNI, oral (m receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, nipple play, use of petnames, sub!max, very soft dom!reader, traumatized maxie, not proofread )

word count . . . 2800 words )

a/n . . . this actually ended up a lot more emotional than i intended it to be but i hope everyone likes it anyway. i don't know if my smut writing is getting better or worse tbh. any and all feedback is always appricated <3 )

Max was a perfectionist; anyone could see that. He also had a desire to win like nobody else. He never let up. It didn’t matter to him if it was a title deciding race or a completely meaningless one, he needed to win. It had been instilled in him for as long as he could remember; second place is first loser after all. So naturally, when his brakes failed, and his car very literally caught fire in the Australian Grand Prix causing him to have to retire three laps into the race; you knew he was not going to take it well.  

You were watching along in the garage, and the only thing you could think about as his smoking car pulled up to the pits was how hard on himself he was going to be. The fact that it was through no fault of his own was irrelevant. He had just handed a win to Ferrari, and that made his blood boil.  

In typical Max fashion, you barely saw him after he retired too. He gave you a quick hug as he reached the garage but after that it was straight back to business. He made his way to the pit wall and immediately began discussing with Christian and GP what exactly happened and how do they fix it for Japan. He sent you a text that he was going to stay late at the track with the mechanics so that you should just head back to the hotel.  

Truthfully, Max was avoiding you. You had only been dating Max for a couple of months, and so far you had only seen him dominate on track. And whilst you were concerned that that he would be beating himself up for disappointing himself or the team, he was busy focusing on how he had disappointed you. You had taken time out of your busy university schedule to travel to the other side of the world to see him race, and he had to retire three laps in. He was used to people living through him, taking his wins as theirs. He had never considered that all you cared about that he was safe and didn’t get hurt.  

So, you went to the hotel and waited for him; or at least you tried to. Tiredness and jet lag eventually started to catch up to you, and you had just started to drift off to sleep when you heard the door open. Looking up greet Max, you could see immediately how heavy the weight he bore on his shoulders hung.  

“Hey baby, how are you feeling?” You asked him sleep in your voice still evident. Max just hung his head and walked into the bathroom. He half expected you to berate him. To question him on exactly what went wrong and what he’s going to do to fix it.  

“Maxie?” You asked again, as he came in from the bathroom and made his way to his side of the bed, his eyes routed to the floor. This time he just grunted at you in response before getting into bed and turning away from you. He did not have the energy to be told everything he did wrong and why - he had already had that from his dad.  

“Please talk to me Maxie, I’m worried.” You pleaded at him, fighting the urge to wrap your arms around him. You wanted that more than anything, but you sensed that he maybe didn’t feel the same.  

“What do you want Y/N?” He finally spoke, his voice cracking.  

“Are you okay? I know that was tough result to take but it’s only once race. We both know you’ll be back better than ever for the next one.”  

To your words, Max just grunted again. And this time you couldn’t help but reach over to hold him. Wrapping one of your arms around his waist and the other coming up to brush through his hair. You waited cautiously for him to pull away. A moment passed and he began to move, your heart sank; he clearly didn’t want to be anywhere near you right now. But instead of moving away, he just turned around, bringing himself closer to you, resting his head on your chest.  

“I just hate to let the team down” he spoke, his voice no more than a whisper, like he wasn’t 100% convinced if he should be saying anything.  

“But baby you didn’t let them down, you did nothing wrong. There was an issue with the car that isn’t your fault.” You gazed down at his face, your hands smoothing through his hair.  

“I could have done something. Maybe I pushed the brakes too much. Maybe I went too hard. All I know is that I let the team down. I let my dad down. I let you down. You cam-“ He started to ramble, but you had heard enough.   

“Whoa Max baby slow down. I can’t speak for the team or your dad, but you certainly did not let me down. All that matters to me is that you didn’t get hurt. I was so worried; you were literally driving a car that was on fire. You could have been hurt.”  

As the words left your mouth, he looked up at you. Almost as if he was trying to see if you were telling the truth. When his eyes met yours and he realized you were being sincere, he hugged tighter into you.  

“I love you Y/N” he spoke and before you could say anything, you felt him bring his mouth to your neck. Leaving hot open-mouthed kisses from your collarbone up to until he met your mouth. His lips crashed against yours. The kiss was hungry and desperate. His hands found your hair and his teeth nipped at your lips. He quickly found himself getting lost in you and you weren’t too far behind. But when his hands wandered towards the bottom of your pajama top, you had to pull away.  

“Wait, Maxie. Are you sure you want to do this? You’ve had a rough day, are you sure you want to do this. We could just go to sleep if you’d prefer.” You didn’t want him to feel like this was something he needed to do.  

But when his lips once again found your neck, it was clear you had your answer. “Please” he mumbled against your skin “I just want to forget” between each word he left a kiss on your neck, before beginning to nibble against that one spot on your neck that he knew always sent you completely insane. He left deep purple marks all down your neck and you couldn’t help but let a moan slip through your lips.  

You were about to completely cave into his touch before you had an idea, and before you could overthink whether it was a good idea, you swung your legs over him until you had him pinned underneath you, your legs either side of his. A smirk plastered across your face 

Max looked completely taken aback at your action, but the second you leant down to kiss him, your lips just slightly brushing against his; he was starstruck and could feel himself growing harder by the second, which only deepened your smirk.  

“Let me take care of you baby” you whispered in his ear before beginning to grind your core against him. The whimper that left Max’s lips took you both by surprise but, taking that as confirmation that he wanted you to take control; you attached your lips to his neck, trailing kisses down his chest until you reached the waistband of his underwear. It was clear from the way that his hard dick strained against the cloth that Max was enjoying this new side of you, and you could be lying if you said it didn’t give you a bit of a confidence boost. 

You started to tease him, placing warm kisses over his underwear, but when you hear him try and fail to beg you to touch him, it becomes clear that maybe today isn’t the day to tease him. So, you hook your fingers around his waistband and release him from the tight confines of the cloth. Immediately, your mouth found his cock, your lips wrapping around his tip. Max’s moans filled the air as he came apart like putty in your hands. The way that your tongue swirled around him made him go crazy. He reached out his hands to grab your hair in a makeshift pony, but you dodged him. Max honestly thought he was going to cry when you took your mouth off him. 

“No baby, I told you I was going to take care of you, you just sit back and let me do everything” you told him before quickly placing a kiss on his lips before reattaching your mouth to Max’s throbbing dick and bringing your hand to the part of it that you couldn’t fit in your mouth. Max felt lightheaded; it’s not like you hadn’t given him a blowjob before, but never like this. He couldn’t ever remember being this turned on before. He had never even considered letting you take control, letting you take care of him so intently before; but now that he was experiencing it – he kicked himself for waiting so long. 

The sounds coming from your boyfriend were music to your ears and only encouraged you to make him feel better and better. You could feel yourself getting wetter, completely desperate to feel him inside of you; but today was about Max, you’d happily wait longer for your own pleasure to take care of him. You began taking him deeper and deeper into your throat, earning more moans from Max. You had never heard him be so vocal before. Things got even better for him when you hallowed your cheeks and brought your hand up to his balls, massaging them in your hands as you worked his dick in your mouth.   When his tip hit the very back of your throat and you gagged around him, he was so loud you were just slightly concerned that whoever was in the room next door would be up for a rude awakening.  

“Oh, fuck baby, oh my god. I’m so close” Max just about managed to get out between moans, promoting you to once again let go of his dick. For a second Max looked at you with puppy dog eyes, silently begging you to take him back in your mouth. But as soon as you stood up and very slowly pulled your pajama shorts down, he realized that there were better things to come.  

“Do you want me to ride you, Maxie?” you asked him breathlessly earning another groan from the man lying on the bed. 

“Fuck, yes. Please please ride me I need to be inside of you more than anything” Max’s voice was weak; it was becoming all too much for him. And when you finally rid yourself of your pajama top, Max started to see stars. Your tits were his weakness, and you knew that all too well. All he wanted was to take them in his mouth, to suck and bite on your nipples. So, when you straddled him once again, that's exactly what he did. You thought about stopping him again, reminding him that tonight was about him and his pleasure; but when you caught sight of his eyes – usually so bright and sparkling. Now they were so dark, so filled with lust and desperation, you didn’t have the heart to deprive him of one of his favorite things to do.  

You leant down to kiss him again, and the taste of his own precum on your tongue made him groan feverishly against your lips. Unable to wait anymore, you finally lowered yourself onto his dick. Now it was your turn to let out a string of moans and profanity. The way that he stretched you out was a feeling that you could never grow old of. After a beat to get used to having him inside of you, you began to bounce on top of him, pumping his dick in and out of your tight desperate pussy.  

“Oh my god Maxie you feel so good, your huge dick sends me so crazy” You moan out, completely cock drunk. “You fuck me so good, god nobody makes me feel like you can” Your praise made Max moan louder than ever and then he simply couldn’t help himself anymore; he brought his hands up to your hips and began thrusting hard into you. You wanted to tell him to stop, to tell him to let you take care of him – but when he rammed his cock into g-spot you physically couldn’t ask him to stop doing something that felt so good.  

“I love you so much Y/N baby” Max croaked out, bringing his mouth back to your tits and his hand down to your clit. Him touching you for the first time tonight meant it was now time for you to see stars. His expert hands rubbing against your clit brought you closer and closer to release and you could tell from the way that Max’s thrusts became deeper and harder that he wasn’t far behind you. 

Wanting to finish what you had started; you placed your hands on his chest – signaling him to stop for a second. Max did so very reluctantly, but when you started to bounce on his dick again his eyes rolled back into his head. After each bounce you grinded yourself down on him, desperate to get him as deep as you possibly could. Your climax was getting closer and closer and soon you felt like you were ready to burst. 

“I’m going to cum on your dick okay baby? You just make me feel so good I can’t help myself.” you told the man beneath you breathlessly, prompting Max to resume rubbing circles into your clit. 

“Please do. Please cum all over my cock I need that so much” Max croaked out and with that you fell over the edge. A wave of pleasure washed over you and you screamed out for Max. It felt so good you thought you were going to pass out, completely taken over by the pleasure that Max’s hard dick had given you. For a few moments, you simply had to still yourself to let yourself recover. 

Once you had ridden out the last of your orgasm, you were ready to go again; ready to make Max feel as good as you possibly could. You began grinding down onto him, squeezing yourself against him. After feeling you cumming all over him, Max knew he wouldn’t need long before he was right behind you.  

“Fuck Y/N I’m really close, get off and I’ll finish in your mouth” Max just about got out between moans. When you didn’t get off and instead began bouncing faster and harder, Max really thought he might just die.  

“Cum inside of me Maxie please, I need your cum fucked so deep inside me”  

“Fuck really?” 

“Yeah, i need it so bad.” 

“Oh my god Y/N, you’ll be the fucking death of me” 

The second those words left his mouth, he fell apart. A string of profanity left his lips, and you could feel his dick pulse inside of you as he painted the insides of you white with his cum. Max couldn’t believe how good it felt, sex with you was always great but that was on another level, he couldn’t remember ever feeling that good before. 

“I love you so much Y/N” 

He gently slipped himself out of you and you collapsed next to him on the bed. Exhausted wasn’t the word for how tired you felt after that. And apparently that was true for Max as well as in the time that it took you to waddle to the toilet to clean yourself up, he had managed to fall asleep. You couldn’t blame him of course; even before that it had been a very long tiering day for him. So, as quietly as you could, you got ready for bed and slipped yourself into bed next to him.  

Looking at the very peaceful sleeping man next to you, you couldn’t help but snuggle down close to him. Placing a kiss on his temple before assuming the big spoon position that you know he loves so much from you. Your movement causing him to ever so slightly stir awake. 

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me” he spoke so softly you almost missed it before falling right back into a very peaceful sleep. You couldn’t help but feel so lucky to have a man like him cuddled close to you. 

“Sleep well Maxie, I love you more than anything.” 

[foulphantomllama]

A really quick one here. I was bored while looking at my phone and when I saw this picture of Taeyeon, I decided to write down some things. Enjoy!

Taeyeon x Male Reader

A Good Morning

She was sleeping like an angel. Despite the fact that she was nearly 13 years older than me, she was looking younger. Even younger than me when I cut off my beard. It was a very long night for both of us. She was so tired that she just fell asleep.

She was sleeping half naked. She has her panties on but no bra. Laying on her face, her bare back was looking so sexy. And let’s not forget her side boob from my angle. I couldn’t resist anymore. I hold one of her ass cheeks and start rubbing it. I was massaging her while she was sleeping. And she was slowly waking up. She was saying something but it was so unaudible. I took her panties off so I could rub her pussy. I put my fingers into her pussy and started finger fucking her. This time she was fully awakened. She was trying to hold my hand as she moans. I grabbed her hand and put her middle finger inside my mouth her pussy was getting wet. I stooped finger fucking her and make her turn on her back. I lay down beside her. Good morning she said to me, while grabbing my cock. Over my underwear. She put her hand inside my underwear and get a good grip. My cock was rock hard. We were dating for nearly three months and this was literally the first time I was this hard.

She told me to take off my underwear. I do as my mommy commands. Everytime. She leaned on my cock and kissed the tip of it. She gave it a good lick from its head to my balls. Then she got all of it in her mouth. She started sucking my cock while looking at me right in the eyes. As her head down and up with my cock in my mouth, I hold her head and started to fondle her hair. She likes this very much. My cock was all wet with her saliva. She put my cock out from her mouth and started stroking it with her gentle hands. I hold her boobs with my hands, rubbing them hard. They were too soft. She asked if I wanted to cum on her boobs. She did not waited for my answer. She hold my cock and spit on it. And put it between her boobs. Squeezing her boobs while my cock were between them. She gave me the best titjob I’ve ever had. I cum on her boobs she cleaned herself and came back to bed. She sat on top off me and started rubbing her pussy to my cock, so that I can get hard again. Her gaze was giving me a boner everytime so I did not take a lot of time for me to get another booner.

She put my cock inside her and started riding me. I was in shock because we put no condom on for the first time in our relationship. “No condoms?” I asked. “No condoms.” She replied as she was jumping on top of my cock. It was impossible not to cum early while she rides me. I was able to keep my cool and do not embarass myself. She was only getting faster. “I’m going to cum” she said while her voice cracking. She stopped and and came all over me. And she slumped down on me. “Are you still hard?” she asked me while she put her head on my chest. My cock was still touching her thigs of course she knew I’m still hard.

Taeyeon got up and lay beside me. She was on her back. I get in between her legs. She wrapped her legs around me. After I put my cock in, she was already moaning and telling me to cum inside her. I hold her waist while hammering her pussy. I was so close to get off all my cum inside her pussy. She was biting her lips and rubbing her tits while maintaining the eye contact with me. Then I cum inside her.

I laid beside her after I finish. She hugged me from the side, put her head on my chest. We both needed a shower because we were just soaking wet from sweat. She went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. I followed her and joined her inside the shower. But that is a story for another time..

[phan3145]

Title: Slippery Slope. Fandom: Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. Rating: T. ( Blood, Intensity…Implications) Pairing: Eventual Noa x Human!Reader.

***Note: Guys…I literally have no idea why I went this hard with this chapter, it’s 8K+ and not even that integral to the plot, but every time I wanted to cut something I simply couldn’t. I’m posting this so quick and then going to bed. 🙈 As always, comments are welcomed and encouraged!

Chapter 5: Evolution

You

Waiting for the apes to tie up their horses was the longest couple of minutes of your life. You practically launched yourself up the steps two at a time. They had to run to keep up with you as you pushed through the double doors, feet echoing off the tile floor. This place was massive! You searched for some indication of where to go, spinning in a circle as you took it all in. The ivy and growing trees did nothing to diminish the beauty of the architecture, the dome above you holding a replica globe of the Earth taking the breath from your lungs. While the power no longer worked, the tile mural surrounding it still held an ancient grace to it as well. What must it have been like to see it bright and new?

Most of the color had faded, but the blue was still prevalent, reminding you of the night sky before the last sliver of light disappeared and turned it black. The rich sea color faded into the white stone of the building, and squinting, you could almost make out the sculptures carved into the walls. Probably Greek inspired…or maybe something else more ancient. It was all too faded to tell.

A noise behind you drew your attention from the ceiling, to your companions. Soona had dropped her sling, her expression matching Anaya and Noa’s as they took in the same grandeur that you had. You let them have that moment, padding over to what you imagined was the main desk. You shifted through decaying papers and old technology that no longer worked, looking for some sort of directory or map.

“Noa…reminds me of…light tunnel,” you heard Soona say. “Echos…made this too?”

You heard Noa grunt, taking a few steps before addressing you, “What is…this…Library?”

You didn’t look up, responding as you shuffled more things about, “It holds the mind and memory of humanity in it. Everything humans know about love, nature, science, math, religion, language, and history is in this building.”

You thought for a moment you had found it, a piece of color coated laminated paper within a folder, but it only showed where emergency exits were in case of a fire. Anaya took that time to chime in, “ Only know…three of those words.”

“That is why we are here.” Noa said, “Caesar understood…human things that…we do not…how do we learn?”

You figured that last bit was directed at you, explaining, “It’s written down in all the books here, thousands of years of information. Everything that is and ever was…excluding the fall of humanity of course. It’s not like we need that though, we already know how that happened.”

“We do?” Noa asked.

You stopped then, “You know who Caesar is, so you know how he was involved with the fall of humanity.”

“In..volved?” Noa looked skeptical.

“Well, yeah. If it wasn’t for…” you trailed off. Your eyes locked on to an old board hanging from an upper level, three giant letters on it that you recognized. Three letters that were exactly what you were looking for. “We can compare notes some other time, come this way.”

Old escalators that no longer worked took you up a level to where a long forgotten map was. You took the hem of your shirt and wiped the dirt and grime from it, barely able to make out the colors, let alone the words. Somehow, eyes straining from the effort, you managed to make out key letters. You knew where you were going after this. All you needed to know now was what Noa, Anaya, and Soona wanted.

You turned to them then, “This is it. What do you want to know? I’ll tell you where it is.”

The three shared a look, remaining so quiet you wondered if taking charge of their Caesar Journey had upset them. Anaya made to sign, but Noa stopped him with a hand over his. He began to sign instead, but they were gestures you didn’t recognize. You hadn’t learned a lot of sign, but you were picking up on certain gestures and had learned enough to usually understand what the apes were talking about. Noa knew this. It was deliberate, Noa silencing Anaya. The thought caused something in your stomach to plummet. Soona’s mouth opened then, as if sensing your sudden mood shift, gaze locking with yours, but a quick glance to Noa’s hands had her mouth shutting again.

You took a step away from the map then, hand still resting on the surface as a sort of tether. The space was needed though, no matter how small, between yourself and the trio. You were cruelly reminded then, that no matter what, at the end of the day, you are not an ape. They are not humans. You trusted them not to hurt you, and they trusted you to a point, but their full trust would probably never be earned. You are not an ape…you are an echo of a bygone era.

An Echo…and how they never let you forget it. You felt your jaw tighten, teeth clenched as you looked back down at the map in front of you. A month…only a month. A drop in the bucket compared to how long you’ve been alive, and look how quickly you forgot what their kind had taken from you. Look how comfortable you had become with them. Look how much you came to care for each of them…and trust them. Was it mutual though? Their continued silence screamed no.

“Symbols…in books?” Anaya asked.

You scrunched your eyebrows, “Do you mean letters?”

Soona leaned forward, head slightly bowed as she confessed, “We are not sure….do not understand human…markings.”

“Wait, Noa you said…” you stopped yourself, frustration pushed to the wayside for now. Playing back the conversation in your head from your first meeting, you thought it was only Noa who couldn’t read, but apes in general could. You assumed since he knew what books were at all, that his village could read. Noa never brought it up again, and after finding out he was the leader of the Eagle Clan, you figured he just didn’t have the time to learn. That wasn’t the case it seemed, as you confirmed, “Apes can’t read at all, can they?”

“No,” Noa admitted, the word sounding as if it was forcibly pulled from his mouth.

One word, but the impact was massive. They were showing you and somewhat teaching you sign, but none of them could read. You brought them into a building of power, but that power only belonged to you in this instance. You thought the balance was always disproportionate between the apes and yourself, and it had been…just not in the way you expected. Guilt threatened to choke you now, as you reevaluated what their silence and secrecy had meant. If you were who you were months ago, you would let them stew in their own ignorance, but as it stood now? You knew better.

You let out a sigh, eyes wandering back to the map for a moment, “I have a feeling we’ll be visiting here often. For now, follow me.”

“Where?” Noa questioned, the three apes not hesitating to follow you as you began to move.

You went around the escalator, seeing across the way that what you needed was laid out in faded colors and deteriorating furniture. “To the only section that’s going to matter for the foreseeable future.”

Knuckles gently nudged your shoulder, so soft you almost didn’t feel it. You turned, it was Anaya, “Symbols…not letters?”

You hesitated, trying to think how best to explain, “Symbols can be both letters and pictures. Pictures are drawings. See a symbol is…anything that has meaning behind it. Think of…that pendant of yours you keep tied around your shoulder sling for Caesar. That’s a symbol.”

“How?” Noa challenged, looking more confused.

“So, it’s basic design is a diamond within a circle.” You began, stopping at a book shelf, drawing said symbol in the dust. Off to the side, a book cover labeled Learning Your ABC’s caught your attention. “Nothing about that particularly resembles anything to do with apes or ape culture, right?”

There were nods all around, Noa adding, “It became a symbol for the order of Caesar.”

“Right!” You smiled, “But someone first had to give it that meaning. Before Caesar, if someone drew that symbol what would it have meant?”

Confused stares followed your question, maybe that was too philosophical for them. Of course, as you thought that, Soona chimed in, “Would mean…nothing without Caesar…just shapes…the shapes meant something…important to him.”

“Exactly,” you picked up the book that had originally caught your attention, opening it up to a random page. L is for Lion stared back at you as you turned the book to show them. “These symbols have meaning, both the letter and the picture. This is the letter L, and this is an animal we called a lion. It starts with the letter L, this is how we taught children to understand it and make the connection.”

Anaya pushed his finger onto the page, moving across it as he asked, “What about the other letters?”

“It takes more than one letter to make up a word…usually anyway. This book is just meant to help children memorize the twenty-six letters and the sounds they make. The pictures will help them remember and associate the sound with the letter and the word.”

Noa seemed to look around then, taking in where they were standing. His brow furrowed, “This is for children…will not learn about…Caesar from this.”

“You’re right.” You countered, “You will learn how to read though, and then you can learn about humanity as Caesar knew it.”

“Noa…” Soona brushed his arm. He turned to her, “This is…better…Caesar could read…so we should…too.”

Anaya, ever easily distracted, wandered over to a table where a few forgotten books covered in dust remained. He called over his shoulder, “Want to learn…know what our Echo knows…seems easy enough…if Echo children can understand…then should be no problem…for clever ape.”

Noa’s jaw rotated, an agitated huff leaving him. Anaya had picked up a book from the table, turning random pages. He looked to Noa then, who was looking at him in what you could only describe as malice. It wasn’t a look you had ever seen on Noa’s face before, and it was aimed at Anaya, which surprised you even more. Anaya hooted, closing his book and pacing back over to the group.

A nerve had been struck, clearly, but you couldn’t tell what it was. Unless, it was the taunt of it being easy in general. As soon as it appeared Noa quickly let it go, relaxing his body with a hum, turning back to you. “You would…be able to…teach us?”

You nodded once, “Yes.”

“Why?” Soona asked, the question seeming to surprise even her once it left her mouth.

It was a good question though. Why did you do half the things you did for these apes? Why did you decide to trust them? Why did you spend your days with them? All questions came back to the same answer, “I care about you, all three of you. Understanding Caesar is important to you, and if learning how to read will help you better understand Caesar, then teaching you is important to me.”

There was a pause, a beat of silence and hesitation, then Soona reached out. Her hand clasped your shoulder. You smiled, stiffening slightly when she pulled your towards her, leaning her head forward and touching it to yours. You weren’t expecting it, still surprised by the gesture in general. The sentiment was there though.

Anaya reached over Noa to nudge Soona then, “Do not touch…Echo Soona…told does not like.”

You laughed, Soona letting out something similar to a groan as she swiveled her head away from you to look at Anaya, “That…was different.”

“Different how?” Anaya demanded, puffing his cheeks.

Noa and I seemed caught in the middle, catching each others eyes before both glancing to Soona, “Because I…am not you…Anaya.”

Anaya opened his mouth comically wide, gasping dramatically before pointing a finger at Soona, “Not fair!”

Soona and Noa both let out loud hoots, Anaya chiming in a moment later with a disgruntled screech or two of his own. Your laugh blended with theirs, tears forming at the corners of your eyes. You couldn’t remember the last time you laughed this much in your life before meeting the trio. Maybe things just seemed funnier when you had others around you to laugh with. You had to gasp in a breath by the end of your laughter. Soona and Anaya were making faces at each other now, but Noa was gazing at you. Staring more like, eyes trained on your mouth, then shifting to your eyes. His, seemed to be holding a question.

You cleared your throat, not giving him time to voice it. “I’m going to look for a few basic books on learning the alphabet. Normally, I would say don’t judge a book by its cover, but in this case, look around. Each of you pick two or three books for us to take back with us, whatever catches your eye.”

Anaya still had that one book in his hand. He clutched it to his chest, going down on three of his limbs to be more level with the shelves. He began to look and scan for a few more. Soona wandered down the rows, picking a book and scanning through its pages before putting it back. You supposed she was making her decision based on the pictures she saw. That was a way to do it.

That’s when you noticed that Noa hadn’t moved. That question still remained in his eyes, and it twisted something in your stomach. You couldn’t face him. You turned, crouching down to scan the shelf you found the Learning Your ABC’s on, hoping to find similar books in the same area. You could feel him at your back, his eyes burning that familiar hole into you. At this point, you would think you would have built up an immunity to it, but with Noa… you were afraid you would always be affected. He shuffled around you then, coming to rest in the peripheral vision of your right side. His back was to Anaya and Soona, his sheer size blocking you from their view and vice versa.

You tried to keep your eyes on the titles, but they were blurring together as you tried not to squirm under his gaze. A long sigh through his nose, then, “I am…sorry.”

That caught you off guard, nearly giving yourself whiplash as you turned to look up at him. “What? Why? What for?”

He crouched then to be level with you, “For not sharing…the truth with you…I did not lie…but I hid it from you…saw what that did to you.”

“What do you mean?” You asked. “You saw what?”

Noa placed a hand on his chest, “Inside…you were…hurt…when I stopped Anaya…signed things you did not understand.”

“You can’t see what I’m feeling on the inside.” You snapped, turning back to the books, refusing to look at him. To hear him confirm what you thought at the time, somehow did not make it better. The fact that he recognized your hurt made his apology almost seem hollow.

“You are…right.” Noa hesitated, “But I can…see it in your eyes…and when you cackle…you said…can also be from relief…tears in your eyes…and relief from hurt…hurt that I caused…from keeping secrets.”

Your jaw clenched as you pulled another book from the shelf, flipping through it to find a few exercises. You hated how even when Noa was wrong, what he said was somehow right. You hated that he could read you so well, as if he’d known you your entire life. You tried not to let your anger spiral, a tinge of bitterness creeping into you voice as you replied, “You are not obligated to tell me anything, Noa. You certainly don’t owe me an apology for telling apes things you think an Echo wouldn’t like or understand.”

“I tell you…now,” He countered. “Told them…that I had mislead you…about ape knowledge…that Caesar Journey could not…happen without you…the truth…you know more than we do…needed you here with us…could not learn…without you.”

You tilted your head at the books in front of you, fighting the urge to turn, “There was a lot more signing than just that.”

“Told them…it was your choice,” Noa continued. “We speak truth…and if you decide not to…help us…that was your choice…but it does not change…us.”

“Us?” You questioned.

Noa said your name then.

The suddenness, and the softness of it almost took you out of your body. He did not often call you by your name, for whatever reason. You couldn’t help it then, even if you wanted to, you felt yourself shift, slowly turning to face Noa. He looked ashamed, mouth downturned and shoulders hunched in more than usual. His eyes, pleading a thousand different things, searched yours. He said it again.

“You…and Soona…and Anaya…and me…us.” The anger in your heart cooled as Noa continued, “Will not change…ever…because you do not want…to do something we ask…not how this…works…you are free…make decisions about…your life…ape not interfere.”

You hadn’t even realized that was a true fear of yours. Deep down, along with never having their full trust, you had to admit that a quiet part of you also whispered things like that. How dangerous it could be for you if you ever refused one of them. Everyone gets along as long as everyone is happy, right? But…a disagreement, an argument, a demand? What would happen then if you said no?

The fact Noa had even thought about that, showed how much he was aware of the dynamics between you and the apes. More so than you, or rather, more willing to think about it in reality instead of pretending it didn’t exist. Something about that touched you. Noa was always being considerate of you, and your feelings. Having him as a friend, was altering not only your life, but your perception on apes. If more were like him…you let the thought die. Noa was Noa, there would never be another ape like him.

“Though it wasn’t the best time to say that,” you started softly. “Thank you, for caring about my feelings, about my freedom. I’m sure that Anaya and Soona appreciated the truth too. I trust that what you’re telling me now is the truth.”

“It is,” Noa replied, a tinge of desperation to his voice.

You smiled then, bringing a tentative hand up to cup his shoulder, “Then don’t worry about it anymore. All is forgiven.”

He huffed in relief, hand coming up to mirror yours, clasping onto your shoulder. His grip, shifting back and forth, rocked you slightly with it, “I am glad.”

You felt a traitorous smile creep up before you let go of him, shrugging his hand off your shoulder as you moved to your feet. You didn’t miss the surprise or slight hurt in his eyes as his hand fell from you. You were still a little too raw for his touch though, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. You had forgiven him, and it was water under the bridge, but in the back of your mind you still wondered when something like this would happen again. You couldn’t blame him now for things that might happen in the future, so space was what you needed now. You needed to ground yourself and refocus on the task at hand.

Noa stood, looking down at you still. You grabbed two more books at the shelf, stacking them and holding them by your side. You tried in some small way to apologize for shying away from his touch, playfully pushing against his arm, “I think I have everything I need for now, go find your books before Anaya and Soona take all of the good ones. I need to make sure no one has two of the same before we leave.”

Noa nodded, grunting, “Will be dusk…by the time we return.”

You shrugged, “Good thing I’m not the one guiding the horse then.”

He chuffed at that, beginning a slow pace away from you, looking as if he wanted to say more but did not. Soona passed him as he walked away, coming over to you with three books in her hands. She laid them down on the shelf in front of you for your inspection, and you smiled down at the familiar titles your mother had read copies of to you as a child.

Goodnight Moon was a classic of course, and was top to bottom covered in illustrations. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be too boring for her. Then again, though she was an adult ape, to your knowledge, she also had never read anything before. You couldn’t imagine she would complain this early on. Then your eyes landed on The Giving Tree. You felt a pang in your heart, having mixed feelings about the story now as an adult. It was a bittersweet story when you didn’t look at it through the eyes of a child.

Your brows furrowed as your eyes skimmed over the third book. You picked it up, reading allowed, “Stellaluna…I’ve never heard of this one before.”

There was a picture of a bat clinging to the branch of a tree, in what looked to be autumn. The illustration was beautiful, the bat looking so lifelike. You went to open the book but Soona stopped you, gently taking it from your grasp and holding it tightly, “We read…together.”

You were confused by her actions, but decided if she felt so strongly on the matter that you should respect her wishes. You smiled, “Okay, that’s fine with me. You picked really good ones, I remember the other two from my childhood. They are simple, but I think you’ll enjoy them.”

Soona nodded, “Pictures…tell a lot about…the story…I think.”

You snickered, “Well, enjoy them while you can. Books that were written for adult humans, things that Noa will probably be interested it, won’t have pictures in them.”

Soona looked crestfallen for a moment before both of you startled. Anaya, who was on the other side of the shelf, had rather roughly dropped his books next to Soona’s. He tapped them three times with his knuckles, gesturing to himself then to you, “Anaya’s books…good for learning?”

You saw the cover of the first one, another smile threatening to split your face in half. Green Eggs and Ham was very repetitive, and you were sure Anaya was either going to love it or hate it. You moved it aside, humming in approval to see The Rainbow Fish, which didn’t really surprise you. While Soona seemed to focus on books where pictures also told the story, Anaya seemed focused primarily on bright colors and designs on the covers. Still, you had to admit that the moral behind the story was a sweet one. It would be good for him.

You moved that one to the side to reveal his final pick. Unlike with Soona’s, you knew this one. It still made you pause. You locked every muscle in your body, fighting back laughter as If You Give a Mouse a Cookie stared back at you. You weren’t sure why it struck you as funny, and you didn’t want to laugh at Anaya’s choice, especially when you couldn’t explain why to him. You swallowed down the laughter, feeling your lungs burn from the lack of oxygen as you held your breath.

Anaya, more observant than you gave him credit for, let his expression fall, mouth hanging open slightly as he asked, “Bad?…Bad book?…Echo is quiet…why is Echo quiet?”

You took in a large breath of air through your mouth, “No Anaya, it’s not a bad book. It’s actually a very sweet book, sort of funny too. It reminds me of you actually. This is the book for you.”

Anaya seemed confused but relieved, snatching his books back from the table and holding them close to his chest, as if someone would try to take them from him. That did have you chuckling, looking behind Soona but not seeing Noa is the rows and shelves of books. You turned left, facing Anaya and looking over his shoulder. The ape mirrored you, looking behind him before turning back to you.

“Echo…looking for…what?” Anaya asked.

“Where’s Noa?” You wondered aloud before a light brush of your shoulder had you jumping out of your skin. You gasped in a breath, turning to find Noa behind you, “You scared me, when did you even walk behind me?”

“When you were…trying not to cackle.” Noa answered cheekily. Said playfulness disappeared as quickly as it arrived though, replaced with an anxious expression.

He raised the three books in his hands to you. You took them carefully, knowing right away Noa’s choices were not as simple as Soona’s or Anaya’s. On top of that, you only knew one of them, not sure how the other two would fair. Peter and the Wolf was a story you heard growing up as a child, a cautionary tale about being smart but also being able to be brave in the face of danger. It was a bit of a longer read, but still doable with illustrations to help set the story. The other two struck you as odd. One was The Mitten, and it was short enough, but just by looking at the cover you weren’t sure what it was about. You hoped nothing gruesome.

The final book, while being slightly illustrated, was not a beginner book. And the title alone…you had to crack open the book to make sure it was in English. It was, but still the title intrigued you, “Rikki Tikki Tavi…what on Earth? I’ve never heard of this one, and where did you even find it?”

Noa gestured to a reading table behind him where many books were spread out across it. You bit the inside of your mouth, knowing it was not meant to be in this section, but was probably placed there so long ago, it’s reader thinking they would be right back. You didn’t want to insult him, but you also knew he would have to work his way up to this one.

You sighed, “The other two are fine but this one, well…it’s not for beginners Noa. You’ll have to learn a lot before you read this one. If you want to pick another one you can, we can wait.”

He huffed, “No…take now…will learn to read it.”

There was a moment of warring wills before you decided, for whatever reason, he was not going to budge. You shrugged a shoulder, “Alright, the three of you will eventually swap stories before we come back anyway. We’ll make…Rikki Tikki Tavi our goal. Such a weird name.”

“Sounds fun…to say.” Anaya chimed in.

You chuckled, “Always a bright side with you, Anaya. If that’s everything, let’s grab the books and head out. Are we stopping anywhere else?”

This was directed at Noa, who took not only his books, but scooped yours up as well. You started to protest but he argued, “You must…mount first…we are heading home now.”

You stretched your arms, rolling your shoulders as you imagined the ride back. Then, you remembered the jump and you cringed at the thought of how often it would be happening in the future. What had you gotten yourself into?

That’s when you remembered, “When we get back you can leave your books with me, they’ll probably be safer that way.”

Noa and Soona nodded, but Anaya hesitated. He shuffled, asking, “Why not safe…with Anaya?”

You tilted your head slightly, eyebrows drawing together, “The books are fragile, made from paper. Getting them wet or dirty would mean they would fall apart. My shelter is pretty water proof, so…”

Now it was your turn to hesitate. You weren’t sure what their sleeping arrangements were like. You had assumed a few crude huts at most. Apes in the past usually used man-made structures that already existed as their nest, and the ones who didn’t chose caves or huts made from tree branches. Then, there were a few you came across that slept in trees. You figured, since there were no cities nearby in the first place, they probably slept in trees or huts, only now realizing how wrong you might be. You had never seen their village.

Noa, sensing your struggle, came to your rescue, “Echo is right…safer with her…other apes…will not understand…Echo books.”

“I promise to keep them safe, Anaya.” You said.

He looked reluctant, but nodded in the end. With that, the four of you headed out. Soona and Anaya tucked their books into their packs along their horses’ backs, starting to untie their reigns while Noa followed suit. You took this time to put a foot in the stirrup and practically throw your weight up and over, wanting to make the attempt while Noa was distracted. You let out a breath, thankful it only took you one try, and this time you didn’t need Noa’s help.

You turned, noticing the grin on Noa’s face as he tightened the strap on the pack to secure it. Your spear was still there, resting above the satchel, tied nicely but loosely should you need it. You felt the horse underneath you shuffle, whipping its tail in Noa’s face, and you had to laugh to yourself. With three apes, you probably didn’t need to bring a spear with you. Maybe next time you’ll just bring a small knife, or even forgo the weapon all together. After all, with three apes and as many horses at your side, you were more than confident you could protect each other. And, less weight for the horse to carry.

Said horse shuffled again, still tied to the post. You naturally grabbed the mane, feeling it trot in place. It’s jerking movements steadily progressing, until it was almost full blown bucking. Then, you noticed it wasn’t just yours, hearing a whinny from Soona’s horse. Anaya’s horse reared up on its back hooves, with Anaya holding on for dear life. You called Noa’s name, who was attempting to soothe his horse, looking to Anaya and Soona for an answer of what was happening.

Something was definitely wrong.

Soona stood up in her stirrups, one hand still on the neck of her horse in a comforting gesture. She scanned the area, sniffing loudly before her eyes widened, lowering herself and turning towards us, “Need to leave…Noa need to leave…now.”

Anaya’s head jerked in the direction of something behind you, screeching out, “Noa move!”

You had just enough time to turn to see a large, black mass charge towards Noa. He leapt off the ground, using the horse as leverage. He landed on the concrete steps of the library, somewhat off kilter. Ready to move again, stopped only by his horse rearing up again, Noa tried his best to assess the situation. Soona’s and Anaya’s horses followed suit, bucking and stomping their feet at the mass beneath them.

A boar.

You heard the squeal and grunts before you saw it’s next charge, the boar moving faster than you thought possible for something that size. It took everything in you to stay in the saddle, hearing Anaya hiss at the animal as Soona prepped her sling. It wouldn’t do her much good you realized, your eyes landing on the spear just an arms length away.

“Soona…Anaya…ride!” Noa yelled, attempting to free his horse while avoiding its wild bucking and the boar’s charging.

You noticed the triangular path it made, attempting to maul anything that wouldn’t kick it, or would hold still long enough. A damaged horse leg meant death for the animal, some distant memory whispered in your brain. The fact the tusks of the boar hadn’t found any soft flesh yet was a miracle. Soona took off immediately, Anaya’s horse attempting a few more stomps before it too took off down the road.

The boar attempted to give chase, just long enough for Noa to finally release the reigns from the post. The next second felt like a minute as you realized how far away you were from the jump of the barricade. You weren’t sure how long these horses could run, knowing they were used to walking long distances. Boars could chase down their enemies for long distances, like apes they were also territorial. Of course, between now and reaching the barricade, if one of the horses was injured…

Your hand was on your spear before you could blink, your feet kicking the horse beneath you into an immediate gallop. Noa’s snarl and subsequent screech would probably haunt you in the afterlife if there was one. You couldn’t look back, hearing him scream, “What are you doing…Stop!”

You couldn’t, the boar already heading straight for you and your horse. You gripped the spear tightly, reminding yourself that humans used to be the dominant species. Humans road horses long before apes did. You also tried to remind yourself what Noa had taught you about riding at a run. Still, your left hand gripped the spear in a firm hold, your right hand winding the horses mane around it like you had as a child. You silently apologized to the horse, letting the reigns rest on the pommel as you prepared for the fight.

The first pass of the boar was uneventful, your horse easily dodging, and you weren’t ready to use your spear just yet, testing the distance. Noa, originally safe on the steps of the library, tried making his way to you by leaping from perch to perch of buildings and old cars. You were relieved that he knew to avoid the ground. A quick turn had you circling the boar, trying to keep the distance close to avoid a charge, but far enough away it couldn’t outright attack.

It lunged, but you were ready, landing a hit to its right shoulder. Blood coated the tip of your spear now, but the blow didn’t so much as make the boar stumble. It followed through on its lunge, but thankfully a kick to its jaw from the back hoof of your horse forced it away. It still stood though, head shaking as it put distance between itself and you. You swallowed, eyes darting towards your horses legs just long enough to see there was no damage.

You heard Anaya and Soona approach tentatively, ready to flank the animal if need be. They didn’t seem to move forward though, allowing you the chance to take it down or scare it off yourself. You were grateful for the confidence, your stomach wanting to rebel against you as the boar charged again. You jabbed lower, more harshly this time to penetrate the fat of its side, close to its underbelly. This time, it ran away from you naturally. Noa’s horse, who seemed to understand now what was happening, was already circling the animal as you had done before.

Avoid charging distance.

You almost felt bad for the creature, blood dripping from its mouth as it started to incessantly charge and run at your horse. Still, you avoided each strike, Noa’s horse skillfully trotting from place to place as you tried to hit a major organ or muscle that would bring the beast down. Strike after strike, and still nothing, just flesh wounds. You decided your strategy needed to change. Your horse would tire eventually, and the cruelty of repeated strikes wounded something in your soul. The boar wouldn’t give up, wouldn’t leave, so you needed to end it.

You had an idea, but if it failed you were probably as good at dead. You noticed Noa keeping time with your movements while also keeping his distance as Soona and Anaya were. If it did fail, there was a small chance they could get to you in time. With that small hope, you unwound the horses mane from your wrist, gripping the reigns instead, turning the horse from the boar’s next charge and running it in the opposite direction. This seemed to confuse all parties present.

The boar, of course, did what you knew it would. It gave chase, charging relentlessly for your horse’s legs. You allowed it to chase, turning your horse around again to stab once more as you had been doing. Another wound, but still it stood. You weren’t striking hard enough, deep enough. You were too weak, too far away. You sent your horse galloping again, headed straight for Anaya and Soona. Their faces didn’t seem to understand what your plan was, but a quick glance at Noa showed you he had some idea what you were up to.

Your right leg was out of the stirrup, your hips screaming as you kept them wide enough to keep your seat, but bent your knee and tucked your leg as close to your body as possible. Your foot braced underneath you as much as it could, and you tested your weight on your left foot in the stirrup. It was solid. You held it there, turning to see the boar gaining once more.

That’s when your right hand released the reigns, both hands gripping your spear as you did the quickest maneuver of your life. You inverted your stance, left heel in the stirrup now as your toes pointed outwards, standing on said foot, your right leg swung over then in a phantom dismount. The momentum on your left side felt like you had been bucked off the horse, sending you straight for the boar. The tip of your spear was aimed for the center of the boars head, where snout met skull, right between its eyes.

The force of you leap from the saddle had been enough to carry you directly into it, feeling the spear slice through flesh and bone. You allowed yourself to launch forward in a type of pole vault past the boar as it dropped, releasing your spear. The last thing you wanted was to get trapped underneath the animal, whether or not your stunt had been enough to kill it. You hit the ground, nothing close to gently. You bounced and rolled a few feet, hearing fabric rip and your bones shake. You felt the burning of your palms against the asphalt as you made a single attempt to stop yourself before you willed your body into a limp state.

When you finally stopped moving, you felt sore all over. You wondered briefly if anything was broken, but a quick flex of your arm and leg muscles confirmed that it was just soreness. You couldn’t hear anything other than a slight ring at first, senses coming back to you slowly. How long had you been on the ground? You raised your head, the muzzle of Noa’s horse the first thing you saw. The sound of snuffling faintly reached your ears, the hairs on the top of your head moving from the force of the horse’s breath. You reached up, patting its nose with the tips of your fingers before laboriously lifting yourself up into a kneeling position. You kept your bleeding hands clutched into your lap, palms pressed into the material of your pants.

That’s when everything came into view.

The boar was still on the ground, your spear still protruding from its head. Soona and Anaya were heading towards it, their eyes locked on you though. Noa’s horse had moved to your left, out of your line of sight now. It was standing behind you as you looked to where Noa had been. He wasn’t there now, he was…suddenly beside you. He called your name again, the marvel of hearing it three times in one day had a small spark of joy shoot through you.

You tried to focus on what he said, but everything was coming in too fast for you to process. You could see Anaya grab the spear from the boar’s head as they rode towards you. Noa gripped your chin in his hand, turning your head towards him. His face came so close to yours, but you couldn’t back up, his grip iron. He sniffed loudly, his other hand smoothing around your head and digging into your hair.

He looked confused, but you couldn’t figure out why. He pulled at the edges of your shirt and your jacket around your neck, hands trailing down your arms then. He moved on to your back, leaning you forward with that same hand grasping your chin. His other hand roamed the expanse of your spine, swiping up the hair at the back of your neck. You felt his hand move again before stilling, unable to disguise the clear look of shock on his face. When his hand came back into view he was holding the entire backing of your jacket. The frayed ends and shredded middle clued you in to what that ripping noise had been. It basically saved your back from looking like your hands.

Soona and Anaya dismounted then, Anaya carrying your spear as they approached carefully, both sniffing the air. Soona said something you couldn’t hear, head foggy but starting to clear up the longer you sat there. Looking around them to the animal at their backs, you found your voice enough to ask, “Is it dead?”

“You should be dead!” Noa’s booming voice suddenly echoed in your ears.

You cringed away, groaning from the noise, “Not so loud.”

“He is right,” Soona’s soft voice brushed by then. “Whatever that was…should not have worked.”

Anaya seemed very excited as he proclaimed, “But it did…you killed it!”

You nodded slowly, not sure you could trust your legs to stand, but needing to either way. Noa’s hand on your shoulder stopped you. You looked up at him as he demanded, “Do not move…you are injured…smell blood.”

“I do too,” Soona confirmed.

You looked down then, pools of drying blood spreading across the material covering your lap. You turned your palms then, seeing the broken skin for the first time as you raised them up for the apes inspection.

Soona looked very concerned, turning to Noa as Anaya made small, rapid sounding hoots of concern. Noa did not hesitate, digging into the side bag on his horse and pulling out a small pouch of red looking paste. He smeared his fingers with it before slathering it onto your palm. The sting was immediate, causing you to hiss and jerk away out of instinct, but Noa did not allow you to go far with a hand on your back.

Your awareness pivoted to the warm leathery feel of his hand as it touched the bare skin of your back, only then remembering the state of your clothes. Your shirt was still in one piece, but sliced up just the same. Once he knew you wouldn’t move again, he yanked the wrap on his left arm from his body. He immediately began wrapping your left hand, the blood soaking through the first few passes before finally being confined to just your hand.

Noa looked to your right hand, seeing he had excess materiel. He made to rip the band, but Anaya stopped him, pulling away his own arm wrap and handing it to Noa. He said nothing, but you nodded towards Anaya, gasping through the pain of the red paste once more. “Thank you, A-Anaya.”

He grimaced, but grunted, “For Echo…anything.”

Noa finished wrapping your right hand, looking down at your pants as if you had soiled them. You remembered then, that Echo blood is revolting to apes, which probably explains the looks of disgust they were sharing. Anaya pivoted away from the group, taking a few steps towards the boar, then swiveled back before asking, “How…get home?”

“We…will not.” Noa responded with a sense of finality to his tone, offering you an arm to help you stand. You stumbled, but quickly caught yourself with his help. At first you thought they meant you, until Noa clarified, “Too big…hide too damaged…predator will clean for us…come nightfall.”

“But she fought,” Soona protested as Noa spotted your weight, making your way towards his horse. “Her honest kill…must be honored…we witnessed it…that is the law.”

Anaya was suddenly in charge of your weight, Noa passing you off to him as he mounted. He huffed, nostrils actually flaring as he argued with Soona, “Nothing we can do…out here…need to focus on…getting Echo home.”

Soona, not to be deterred, stamped her right hand into her left palm, “It is the law…Noa!”

“Law does not matter,” Noa hissed. He turned his gaze to Anaya, whose arm was wrapped around your waist and his other hand was holding your head. He refused to hand you over while Noa was fighting with Soona, which only seemed to enrage him more. “Will be dark…by the time we get back…do not have time for this…need Echo to be home…to be safe…for all of us to be safe!”

“Why does the law…not matter Noa?” Soona pushed.

You saw every muscles in Noa’s body tense, his breathing harsh as he and Soona stared each other down. You felt Anaya flinch beneath you before he grunted, “If that is the reason…then Noa should have…courage to say it.”

You felt like you were missing something important, but all you could focus on was how upset Noa was. You wanted to comfort him, but even now you felt yourself getting weaker the longer you stood. You allowed more of your weight to rest with Anaya, who had to readjust his grip to keep you upright. Still, he would not hand you to Noa.

Said Ape jumped from the saddle, anger burning in his eyes as he stared at Soona. You thought he would take you from Anaya by force as his gaze shifted, but instead he shouldered past you. He was out of your line of sight, but a few moments later you heard what sounded like the snapping of bones. You flinched each time, the sound sending chills up your spine.

When Noa returned, he grunted. You could see him now, in his left hand were the two tusks of the boar. His right hand, covered in what you assumed was it’s blood, raised towards your head. He paused before touching you, eyes softening as he silently waited for your permission. You hummed your approval before he made, what felt like, a W between your brows on your forehead.

Soona came towards you then, placing a hand on the top of your head, Anaya’s hand already occupying a side. Noa placed his on the remaining space, saying, “You have protected…the Eagle Clan…with this honest kill…in front of the witnesses…of your bravery…in the name of the elders who came before…as Master of Birds I…honor you now.”

You felt their hands, all but Anaya’s anyway, leave your body then. You remained confused, feeling as if something important had just happened, but you weren’t sure what. You supposed it was the clan’s way of thanking someone.

Soona looked to you then, patting your cheek, “Very proud…amazing Echo.”

Anya hooted lowly, “Very honored…Noa will explain…later.”

“We must go now,” Noa grunted as he mounted his horse once more.

Anaya did not hesitate to help hoist you into Noa’s waiting arms now. Once you were settled, a whimper catching in the back of your throat as the spreading of your legs hurt the places where your thighs had hit the asphalt. You tried to massage the pain away, but it was too deep set in. You closed your eyes, willing to grin and bare it until you were tucked into your bed tonight.

“Anaya…Soona,” Noa called. “Lead the way…home…will follow you…keep eye on Echo.”

Both apes nodded, Anaya making a hand gesture that you did not catch in time. Just in case, you signed back, Do not worry. Echo fine.

As the group made their way towards the barricade, you heard Noa whisper, as if he did not want to be heard by the other two, “Do not…do that again…very dangerous…could have been…hurt worse.”

You hummed, “I’ll try not to.”

“You are too intelligent...to be this foolish” Noa huffed.

Your brow creased, “A simple thank you would be enough. Y’know Soona’s sling, couldn’t have killed it. If it would have ripped into one of the horses legs you would have had a dead horse on your hands. I know you care for your horses just as you do your eagles.”

You were unprepared for the horse to run, your body a rag doll as Noa’s arm once again wrapped around you. The jump came and went so quickly, though you did yelp in pain when it landed. Noa’s grip did not leave you, and you allowed yourself to lean back against him. You were so tired, the setting sun reminding you that there was still an hour ride ahead of you.

Noa sighed, “Did thank you…and yes…I know…still…do not put yourself…in danger again…you are safe…with us…we can…protect you.”

“I know,” you mumbled. “I just wanted to help.”

You felt Noa’s other hand come up to stroke his fingers through your tangled hair. Something about that seemed odd, but you couldn’t pinpoint why as the pain slowly dulled the longer you rode. The gentle rock back and forth seemed to soothe you further. You jerked, almost falling asleep before crashing back into your body. You forced your eyes open then, trying to stay awake.

Noa chuckled, “You are tired…rest.”

“I’m okay,” you replied.

“Your body wants sleep,” Noa replied. “Listen to it and give it…what it wants.”

You hummed, feeling Noa pull you in closer to him. Your entire weight braced on his chest. He was warm, and as you let your eyes slip closed, you felt your head swivel to rest in the crook of his neck where it met his shoulder. You could hear his heartbeat, it was strong and steady, adding to the warmth of him and the rocking of the horse. You would lose this battle with sleep.

You felt Noa’s arm tighten around you, securing you to him. “Sleep…I have you.”

You were already half asleep when you whispered back, “You always do.”

[wondeurwall]

Idk if u've seen rafayel's new oracle story BUT IT HAS BEEN PLAGUING MY MIND

"What if i make it up to you like this yeah?"

MAKE UP SEX WITH RAFAYEL.

TELL ME DO YOU THINK THEY'LL HAVE IT OFTEN?? But ones in a more playful sort of way not really full on arguments if you get what i mean 😩💗💗

oh my god please, nonnie, rafayel's oracle story is literally the only thing on my mind. i've been so unwell

i went in with one dream and spent everything i had because my luck is abysmal. and, the worst part?? I CAN'T EVEN BE UPSET ABOUT IT 😭🫵🏻 it wasn't what i expected. it's kind of funny ASKDDJKD!! i thought it'd be myth related. instead, i was blessed with rafayel.... kisses... 🥰

itty bitty nsfw 🔞 mdni.

rafayel would 100% down for playful makeup sex 😵‍💫💕 honestly, he'd pull any kind of excuse just to get you undressed and fucked out in bliss. he loves how pretty you look when you cum 💕 even more when he and you can get a good laugh in between because he'd appreciate lightheartedness in intimacy. after all, he wouldn't have sex with anyone else! he needs trust to do those sweet, silly things too, and he can only ever do that with you.

because i think he'd find a lot of fun with it, he'd do it often, but the sex doesn't necessarily need to be absolutely mind-blowing once initiated. banter is fun, even better when it leads to sex, but he just loves being close like that: naked and a tangled mess of limbs with the warmth coming from your body to his.

he's a night owl, so he's unintentionally ignoring your texts. maybe, even misses a few phone calls or immediately ends an incoming one, thinking it's an alarm he set up before. part of the day goes by and you're coming into his home to make sure he's doing alright. there's no use in pretending that you aren't upset. because you are upset! you didn't hear from him 💔 but, you find that he's just now out of bed after finishing a new piece of art.

"were you asleep this whole time?" you ask.

he rambles on about a sudden inspiration he had and that, "it'd be wrong to rest when the idea was too good."

you listen, nod, but truthfully some of his words go in and out the other ear. you frown at him. and, when he asks why you have that look on your face, you're quick to say, "i'm sure you can figure out why."

he knows. of course, he knows. he reads you well, just like you do him. then, his shoulders are a little hunched over, and he's laughing!

"i've really spoiled you," he says softly. his hands are on your hips the next second, pulling you close. "mm, why not let me make it up to you? i'm awake now, and we have the rest of the day to ourselves."

he lifts you and lays you on the couch. kisses you while he thinks about how many times he can get you gushing on his fingers and tongue before his cock.

OR, if you're the one making it up to him 🥹

accidentally spilling paint on a good shirt of his? you're panicking as soon as it happens. your hands move faster than your mouth, and you're halfway with unbuttoning his shirt before telling him he needs to take it off.

his laughter is what stops you. it dawns on you! but, to be fair, your thoughts don't have anything else besides: the shirt must be washed before it really stains.

"someone's being bold," he chuckles as your eyes meet. "did you plan this?"

"what?" and, the fabric drops from between your fingers. rafayel doesn't miss the way your gaze falls briefly, catching the sight of his bare chest, last 2 or 3 buttons barely laying over his abdomen. "me, ruining a piece of clothing that's probably over three times my budget? i don't think that's planning. it's called being clumsy."

your face feels warm. you take a deep breath, reach out to him, "c'mon. i'll wash it. take it off before the paint makes it unsalvageable."

rafayel clasps your wrist with his hand, steps into your space, voice deepening with a tinge of playfulness, "no, i can think of a better idea. how about me and you have matching clothes?"

he embraces you, gets you wearing blotches of paint too, and you want to argue. but, you can't find the energy to when one hand is guiding your head back and the other is tugging on your neckline. rafayel's lips move to your throat first. then, trails open-mouthed kisses along the rest of your neck, jaw, the base of your shoulder, before whispering, "it's a good idea, yeah?"

since you're the one to make a mess of his shirt first, he wants you riding him as compensation. to make him feel good? yes, sure, he loves that. though, the reason for it, most of all: he wants you using his cock like you own it. wants you aching and desperate for him. cum all over him, feel good because of him. nothing gets him going more than watching you bounce on top and moan his name so sweetly 🥰

© 2024 wondeurwall ☆ all rights reserved. please don't repost as your own, modify or translate on here or on other platforms. reblogs & likes are appreciated! ♡

[sports-on-sundays]

It kills me to see all the requested: nope! In your fanfics

How about, reader struggles to sleep due to the stress of her work & travelling so he comforts her and helps her sleep? I’ll take any f1 driver or barca player.

help me sleep / Pedri González

Summary: Pedri x girlfriend!reader

Warnings: censored cussing, sobbing, work problems, stress, anxiety

Requested?: YEs! yEs!!!!! YES, MATE, IT IS REQUESTED!!!!

Author's Note: First request, baby!!! I love you so much bestie! <3 I'm so happy you saw my subtle-not-subtle begs for requests 😭!!! And I hope it's okay I chose Pedri; the other day I was having major I-Miss-Pedri syndrome that we've all been having for the past however many months (I don't even want to think about how long it has been) so I decided as a tribute to my boy, the first request on my blog should be him.

I say 'tribute' as if he's dead or something 😭

I feel like I'm acting way too excited about this request for it to be normal, but that's okay! I'm happy, and I owe it all to you! Now, let's get into this-

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock went the clock on the wall. That stupid old clock that wasn't even set to the right time. You sat on the living room couch, at 2:34 A.M., dealing with work sh*t.

You walked in this evening, feeling ready to literally collapse, and was greeted by your boyfriend as the welcoming committee. It was sweet. He had bought you your favorite treat and flowers and everything and let you snack on it. Had a little snuggle with you. And the moment you stood up, telling him you had to unpack from your long work trip, he pulled you back down on the couch. "No way," he had said. "You're tired. Your bags can wait 'til tomorrow. For now, just relax."

And he really had convinced you. He really had. Soon after that, you had gone to your bedroom and gotten snuggled in together, and within minutes, you were fast asleep.

Only to wake up three hours later. You stared at the ceiling for a solid fifteen minutes, unable to fall back asleep as the stress of work and everything you hadn't gotten done and needed to get done crushed you.

Realizing there was no chance of you falling back to sleep now, you slipped out of bed as slowly as you could, as to not wake up your boyfriend, and quietly walked (or rather, stumbled, because of the extreme lack of sleep) to the living room.

And so now you sit on the couch, barely alive, feeling like a lump on a log but on steroids, dealing with work sh*t.

Suddenly, you get a message from one of your co-workers, though. Bad news... You click on it, and in the moment, with everything you've already gone through within the last seventy-two hours, this is enough.

You swallow, your phone slipping out of your hands. I'm trying so hard. How could my job be on the line? Your head falls into your hands, and you let out a angry groan, letting out quick, little breaths.

God, I can't do this. I can't do this anymore. I need help. Please, I need help. I just can't keep doing this any longer. I can't do this anymore.

Your eyes well up, and that turns into a tear. And that tear turns into another one. And those tears turn into crying. And crying into weeping. Tired, pathetic, pitiful weeping, until you're flat-out sobbing, unable to control it. The world spins as another glowing text comes in on your phone on the rug and your laptop shows more emails and the bags in the corner of the room are still full of your things from the work trip and and and and and...

Suddenly, strong, warm arms around your trembling body. You lean into your boyfriend's body, blubbering between gasps, "Pedri you weren't supposed to wake up... I know you're going through a lot too... I don't want to stress you out... I'm sorry..."

"Shhh," he soothes, rubbing your back. "Do you really think you're on your own? My love, we help and love each other. You can be vulnerable. I know it's hard. Don't you think for a second that I don't want to help you."

"This isn't your problem..."

"Your problem is my problem, because I love you," he mutters close to your ear. He gently closes your laptop and powers off your phone. "You don't need to worry about that right now."

"Pedri-" You grip his shirt, looking at him slightly manically. "Yes I do. I could lose my job."

His jaw tightens, but he says, "What you're doing is impossible. If you lose your job because it's too hard, then maybe you shouldn't be in this job. And it's not because you're a failure. It's because you're expected to do much more than anyone should be able to handle. If you lose your job, I'll be the first to support you until you can get a new one. Okay? But we don't even need to worry about that right now, okay?"

"But-"

Suddenly he takes your wet, tear-stained cheeks in his hands, and looks at you earnestly right in the eyes. "But right now, you need to calm down. Come on; why don't we go to the bedroom, okay?"

"Uh- y- yeah," you get up, feeling terrible at how much a mess you are. Pedri walks to the bedroom with you, his arm around your shoulders the whole time. He fetches a damp rag and gently wipes your face with the cool towel. You shut your eyes, letting out a shaky breath as Pedri pulls the blanket up to your torso. You lean back, sitting upright on the blanket.

"Can I get anything for you?" he asks after he finishes, taking your hand gently.

You shake your head 'no'. "Just sit down. All I need is you."

He nods and slips onto the bed and under the blanket next to you. Straight away, you lean your head on his shoulder and clutch his hand in yours. "Y/n, you know that it'll be okay," he murmurs. Not even a question. A fact. You know that you'll be okay.

"But Pedri, what if..."

"No 'what if's right now, okay?" He pulls you closer to you, rubbing your shoulders. You sit quietly together for a while, before Pedri slowly sinks into a laying down position, pulling you down with him. You snuggle close to him, resting your head on his chest. When you yawn, he says, "You're tired. Anything I can do to help you sleep?"

You breathe gently. "Just... talk to me."

He nods and starts whispering. At first, you listen to the sweet little things he's saying as he gently strokes your hair, but soon you're too tired to comprehend them. Soon your eyes are fluttering shut, and your mind is switching from daytime thoughts to nighttime dreaming.

Within your dream, you feel a soft kiss on your forehead and Pedri's perfect sweet-as-honey voice murmur, "Buenas noches, mi amor."

[nomie-11]

Chapter 6 - For You

<- previous chapter | masterlist | series masterlist | next chapter ->

“I wanted to talk to you before breakfast but didn’t get a chance. I think the school is hiding something from us.” 

Violet nearly trips over her own boots, but catches herself before she can make a fool out of herself. Her and Genevieve share a confused and panicked glance. “I’m sorry?” 

There is no way Rhiannon knows about it. She doesn't know about everything. If she knows, something bad will happen to her. Neither of them can handle that. 

“I think there’s something going on in the Healer Quadrant,” She says, lowering her voice. “I tried to take a first-year to see Nolon yesterday after the formation turned into a firepit with Genevieve, and he looks like absolute shit. I mean, the man could barely stand. And when we went to ask him if he was all right, the new vice commandant said he had more important things to do than talk to cadets and basically escorted him to the little door in the back of the infirmary, which is now guarded. I think they’re hiding something back there.” 

Genevieve lets out a small sigh of relief, and Violet opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, torn between confusion and relief. “Maybe they brought some of the injured riders from one of the outposts for mending,” Violet offers. The backlog would explain why Bodhi was still in a cast and Genevieve’s migraines weren’t checked out properly. 

“Maybe they brought in a prisoner from Poromiel.” Ridoc forces his way in between the three girls. “And Nolon keeps healing them as Varrish breaks them. I hear one of the third-years say that’s what Varrish is known for—torture.” 

Genevieve clenches her jaw, her skin paling. That was just what she needed to know.

“And you’re known for eavesdropping.” Rhiannon shakes her head as Ridoc and Genevieve break off of the group for lunch. “Is she alright?” 

Selective truths, Violet. 

“She’s a little shaken up about the whole ‘torture’ thing.” Violet explains with a quick wave of her hand. 

Rhiannon narrows her eyes, unconvinced. “Okay… as long as that’s all that it is. You’re not exactly acting normal.” 

Violet’s heart skips a beat, and she struggles to keep her expression neutral. “What are you talking about? We’ve been perfectly normal.” 

Rhiannon crosses her arms, leveling her with a knowing look. “Normal doesn’t look like running off after every meal or avoiding questions about what's going on with you. And normal definitely doesn’t involve… well, the way you two look at each other sometimes. Like you’re sharing a secret.” 

Violet’s cheeks flush, and she’s suddenly hyperaware of every glance she’s exchanged with Genevieve, every stolen moment in the middle of the night when the world felt too heavy to face alone. She opens her mouth to deny it, but before she can stop herself, the words slip out. 

“We’re not—I mean, we’ve only been sleeping together—”

Rhiannon’s jaw drops. “What!?” 

Realization crashes into Violet like a lightning strike. “Not like that! I mean, just sleeping. Literally! At night. Together.” Her voice grows more frantic with every word. “Because I don’t want to be alone. It’s not—ugh, just forget I said anything.” 

But it’s too late. Rhiannon’s eyebrows are practically in her hairline, and Violet wants to sink into the ground. She glances toward Genevieve, who’s staring at them from across the mess hall, her pale face and tense shoulders making Violet’s stomach churn. She knows last night wasn’t just another sleepless night for Genevieve—it was a breakdown, the kind that leaves a person feeling like they’ve been torn apart and stitched back together wrong. 

Rhiannon softens, her curiosity fading into concern. “Is she okay?” 

“I don’t know,” Violet admits, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t think so.” 

Rhiannon hesitates. “You should talk to her.” 

“We aren’t really talking right now,” Violet shrugs, understanding the complete contradiction in her words. “She’ll figure it out. She always does.” 

—-----------------------------------------------

“Sloane Mairi and…” Emetterio calls the next pair to the mat. “Aaric Graycastle.” 

“I want her instead,” Sloane says, pointing a dagger at Genevieve. 

She has got to be kidding. Sighing, Genevieve crosses her arms and shakes her head at Liam’s little sister. 

“Gods, Sloane.” Imogen snorts, laughing off of the right, where she watches with Quinn. “You do not want her. You really feel like dying on your first day?” 

“I can take her,” Sloane fires back, white-knuckling her knife. 

“No, you can’t,” Genevieve grumbles. 

“I couldn’t care less about whatever grudge you think you hold against Hale, Mairi.” Emetterio sighs like this year has already exhausted him. “She is by far the deadliest rider in the quadrant, and I will not be unleashing her on a first-year. I know who trained her.” He lifts a dark brow at Imogen. “I, too, made that error last year.” He turns back to Sloane, the corners of his mouth slashing down. “Now disarm and take your place against Graycastle.” 

Sloane hands off her weapons and faces Aaric, who easily has about five inches and years of private combat tutoring on her. But she’s Liam’s sister, so there’s a chance she’ll be able to hold her own, right? 

“Did someone say Hale?” A deep voice asks from behind the group of second years. 

The line of the second years in the second squad all look over their shoulders at the first-year who threw the scrawny red-head off of the parapet. There’s a second wing patch on his shoulder as he lumbers forward, his hands at his sides. 

“Popular today, aren’t you?” Nadine whispers with a smile, pivoting playfully toward the first-year. “Hi, I’m Genevieve Hale.” She points to her purple hair. “See? Like my hair. Do you have a message for—” 

He grabs hold of her head and twists, snapping her neck. 

Genevieve stares in shock for half a second as the first-year drops Nadine’s body to the ground, and it falls with a sickening thud, her head twisted at an unnatural angle. 

Immediately Genevieve drops to the ground next to her, pressing her hands into her chest, hoping that life-weaving can mend a snapped neck the same way it can mend poison. Can life weaving even bring back the dead? Tairn had said there was no signet that could reverse death. She’s gone. Cold. 

Come on, Genevieve. 

“Nadine!” Rhiannon yells, rushing to kneel at her side. 

“Nadine?” the first-year asks, his thick eyebrows knitting into one. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Emetterio barks. 

The burly first-year glances between Nadine’s body on the floor, at the intense focus on the real life-weaver’s face. Genevieve presses on, but it’s no use. She has no clue how to revive someone from the dead without killing herself. She doesn’t have enough life to fully revive Nadine without draining everything out of herself completely, still she must—

Slamming a hand onto the ground, vines shoot up from between the training mats, pinning Violet and Rhiannon to the side. 

“I’m Genevieve Hale,” She grits out, coming to a stand. “You want a fight? Let’s dance, first-year.” 

In a pinch, the first-year lunges forward, swinging his fists in a crude attempt at taking her out in one hit. She’s more than quick enough to dodge it, pivoting, grabbing his wrist and twisting, slamming him onto the mats. Her shoulder twinges in pain, but she pays it no attention.

Clambering to his feet, he can barely dodge her speedy charge towards him, and he swings another meaty fist toward her head, but she drops to her knees before they can make contact. Ignoring the shattering pain in her knees from the impact, she uses the momentum to slide by, using her only dagger to clip a tendon in his knee as she passes. 

He yells, and falls forward like a tree, slamming into the floor. Genevieve scrambles to gain her footing, turning back to the giant who has already flipped into his back, as if impervious to pain, but he can’t stand without knees. He can, however, reach the dagger she dropped and throw it at her, which he promptly does. 

“Shit!” She hisses, spinning sideways to avoid her own blade, and he kicks out with the leg she didn’t slash. His boot catches behind her thigh, and the blow cuts her feet out from under her as she smashes into the floor with the entire force of her weight onto her hip. Pain blinds her for a moment, white-hot and so sharp her migraine seems to subside for a moment to give way to an even sharper pain that leaves her ears ringing. 

She’s unarmed, and the first-year grabs hold of her right thigh and pulls, dragging her. Vines? No vines? If she pins him down now she’ll pin herself under him. His grip is secure, and he continues to drag her feet first toward him, his puddled blood soaking the back of her neck and staining her white hair red. 

Bringing up her left leg, she kicks as soon as she’s close enough, catching him in the jaw, but he doesn’t let go. A crunch sounds with her next kick, breaking his nose. Blood flies, but he shakes it off, lurching upward and rolling onto her, pinning her to the floor with his incomprehensible weight. 

She can barely think through the searing pain in her head. Something’s off with this kid!

“Fucking die, already,” he seethes, his voice blending into the ringing in her ears as he lowers his face to hers. There’s no air as his grip tightens on her windpipe. “Secrets die with the people who keep them,” he whispers, bringing his nose an inch from hers. His eyes are light brown but rimmed red as though he’s on some kind of drug. 

Aetos. Fear floods her mind, breaking past her shields, but it’s not her own. Everything screams at her; Genevieve Hale will not die under some no-name first-year. 

Immediately, she raises a hand to his face and slams it down onto his already broken nose. Contact is made, and it only takes a second for her to find his thread and snap it. 

Genevieve stares down at the first-year’s lifeless body as she scrambles out from underneath it, the weight of what she’s just done sinking in with a sickening thud. Her hands, slick with his blood, tremble as the strange, overwhelming sensation creeps in. She tries to shake it off—tries to breathe—but it’s like poison is creeping under her skin, just like it did when she killed the wyverns. The same gnawing, corrupt force twisting and searing through her veins. 

She sucks in a breath, but it doesn’t help. The air feels thin, suffocating. She blinks, trying to focus, but the sensation only grows. It’s wrong, all of it. She shouldn’t be feeling this way. It’s just a body, just like the other cadets she killed last year, right? Just another life she took, another death to mend. 

But something isn’t right. The power she stole from him—it’s too much, too dark. It’s like it’s feeding on her, eroding her from the inside out, and her stomach churns as if her insides are being wrenched apart. 

“Hale?” Dain’s voice shakes, uncharacteristically for him when talking to her. “Are you all right?” 

Secrets die with the people who keep them. 

Genevieve is far from all right. His father just tried to have her assassinated. She forces herself to a headspace beyond the pain and rolls to her hands and knees. Nausea sweeps through her in waves, and she breathes through her nose and out through her mouth until she can push it back down again. 

“Say something,” He asks, almost demanding. 

She walks back on her hands until she’s kneeling, then arch her neck, wincing as she pulls in breath after breath. 

“Hale–” He stands and offers her a hand, the worry in his eyes so awfully foreign and nearly forced, it makes her feel even more sick. 

Fuck no. 

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” She grinds out, her voice like sandpaper, pushing herself to a stand far too quickly, more than aware of the number of eyes on her. Her head spins, but she fights the familiar dizziness as she retrieves her dagger. Everyone in the nearby area watches as she bends over and uses the dead first-year’s uniform to wipe the blood off of her blades before sheathing them. The fear flooding her pathways changes to relief.

“I’m fine.” She tells Tairn. 

“Matthias and Henrick, take the bodies,” Dain orders. At least she thinks it’s him. Everything is ringing and blurry and nauseating. This relapse is familiar. This nausea is far too similar. 

Emetterio appears before her. “May I touch you?” He asks. 

Clearly, she made that demand of Dain rather loudly. And she nods, making sure her shields are strongly in place while Emetterio grasps her face, searching her eyes. He blocks the light then lifts his hand. A fresh wave of nausea churns her stomach. 

“You’re concussed. Want to skip the rest of the session?” He drops his hand from her face and holds her steady by gripping her arms when she sways. 

“Give me–” she gags. “One moment,” Turning around, Genevieve’s stomach churns violently as Violet quickly holds out a trash bin. Before she can even attempt to hold it back, the contents of her stomach surge up, and the sudden motion almost sends her to her knees, but she digs her hands into her thighs and grits her teeth against the second wave of overwhelming nausea. 

Firmly, she looks upwards. “No, I’m staying.” 

“I’ve got her,” Imogen says, taking her elbow, and Emetterio’s mouth purses, his dark eyes narrowing. 

“You were just strangled, Cadet Hale,” Emetterio reminds her. 

“Not the first time,” she responds, the razor blades in her throat making her voice raspy. “I killed him. I’ll be fine.” 

He sighs, but eventually nods and heads back to his place at the head of the mat, picking up the clipboard he’d apparently dropped. 

Genevieve, leaning heavily into Imogen’s side, ushered Violet and Imogen in, her voice dropping to a whisper. “Aetos sent him,” she whispers to the two of them. “I think we’re being targeted.” 

Imogen’s green eyes flare a second before Ridoc appears at Genevieve’s other side and neither her or Violet can get a word in. 

“Damn, Hale,” he mutters, offering an arm she doesn’t take in fear that she could somehow transfer this awful poisoned feeling onto him. 

“It’s always something with her, isn’t it?” Violet says, and she tries to smile as the group walks slowly back to the edge of the mat, giving her enough support that she doesn’t fall to either side or flat on her back. 

“He was probably sent as a message to you, your father isn’t exactly received positively,” Emetterio says, shaking his head. “Same thing happened to your older sister during her years.”

 The first-years stare in wide-eyed horror as she glances around the bloody mat, noting that Rhiannon, Dain, and Sawyer are missing because they had to take Nadine and the nameless first-year’s bodies. 

Nadine is dead because she said she was me. 

Genevieve inhales a sharp, shuddering breath, steadying herself as the nausea ebbs and flows within her. Her head was splitting in pain, but she steeled herself as everyone else watched. 

Sloane and Aaric stand in the middle of the mat, watching her with varying shades of shock on their faces. There’s far more concern on Aaric’s face than on Sloane’s, despite Genevieve not knowing him at all. 

“Is someone going to clean up that mess and fight, or what?” Genevieve grits out, ignoring the drip of thick liquid down the back of her neck. Standing here covered in his blood is better than lying there soaked in hers. 

“And you wanted to take her on, Mairi.” One of the first-years scoffs from across the mat. 

Genevieve is glad she doesn’t know that first-year’s name. She knows Sloane and Aaric and that’s already too much. 

She knew Nadine’s. 

—------------------------------------------

To Xaden, this was a moment he had been thinking about for eight days. He waited and waited for the moment he would go back to Basgiath and see Genevieve again, and she would run into his arms and he would hug her and spin her around, and they would go back to the way they were before everything changed. 

That would have, if Genevieve wasn’t Genevieve, occurred. But wherever Genevieve Hale goes, drama and pain seems to follow, so instead of her running into his arms, he found himself quickly crossing the short length of her bedroom to steady her wobbling stance as she keeled over in nausea. 

Xaden’s hand gripped her arm with a sense of urgency, steadying her before she could collapse to the ground. She barely registered his touch, her head spinning, heart pounding from a mix of the aftereffects of the poison and the concussion that brute of a first-year had given her. Blood still stained her clothes and hair, a constant reminder of what she’d just done. The nauseating weight of it all was almost too much to bear. 

“You shouldn’t be standing,” Xaden murmured, gently pulling her towards the bed, his voice rough with concern. His dark eyes scanned her face, searching for some sign of stability, something to reassure him that she wasn’t slipping away. 

Genevieve took in a shuddering breath, forcing herself to meet his gaze. “It’s been eight days,” She croaks, wincing as he places a trash bin in her hands—a preventative measure so that neither of them have to spend their only night together cleaning up her vomit. 

“I know,” he counters, “And from what Tairn showed Sgaeyl, I should have told my commander to fuck off and gotten here sooner.” He takes her face in his hands in a way that feels completely different from the way Emetterio had earlier, and the age shining in his eyes is at odds with the gentleness of his touch as he takes stock of her injuries. 

“The blood is his.” She grits out, each word against her raw throat feeling like she swallowed fire. 

“Good.” His jaw flexes and his gaze drops to the bruises that she knows are forming around her neck. 

“I don’t even know what his name was.” 

“I know.” His hands push the hair out of her eyes and tuck the face-framing pieces behind her ears before they drop, and she immediately misses their comforting warmth. 

“Colonel Aetos sent him.” 

He nods, the motion curt. “I’m sorry I couldn’t kill him first.” 

“The first-year? Or Aetos?” 

“Both,” He looks her over again once more, taking in the blood matting her hair and the red staining her skin. “Come on, let's get you cleaned up.” 

Xaden’s voice is steady, but there’s a softness in it that Genevieve can’t help but notice—something protective and almost desperate to ease her suffering. He gently pulls her towards the bathroom, the weight of her unspoken thoughts pressing on her chest. Every step feels like a battle, but she’s too exhausted to fight him. 

Once they’re in the dimly lit bathroom down the hall, Xaden reaches for the shower knobs, adjusting the temperature with careful precision before turning back to her. His gaze softens as he sees her wince, her hand clutching the hip that had gone smashing into the floor, where the injuries from the fight still stings. She doesn’t speak, too tired to argue, and too ashamed of needing help. 

“You need to sit down for a moment,” Xaden says, more a command than a suggestion as he guides her to the floor. He kneels in front of her, his hands brushing the edges of her worn clothes, checking for any more signs of injury before he asks to help her out of them. 

“You’re all right with this?” His voice is low, clearly aware of her remaining distrust in him, and she nods, although her face betrays the fact that she is unhappy with the situation she’s put herself in. 

Genevieve watches him carefully, her eyes flickering between the floor and his face. She’s too sick to really focus on anything but the nausea clawing at her gut and the dizziness in her head, but she can’t ignore the warmth in his touch, the tenderness in which he’s handling her. She doesn’t want him to see her like this—weak, vulnerable, helpless for the second time around him. But she can’t bring herself to stop him, not when she feels like she’s nearing collapse with every passing second. 

“Xaden…” Her voice cracks as she tries to protest his help as she watches him pull off his own shirt and turn towards the shower. 

“It’s fine, Gen,” He brushes her off. “I need a shower too. I’m doing this for me, don’t think too far into it.” 

And she knows that what he’s saying is a blatant lie—she knows it’s something he’s saying to ease her nerves—but the fact that he knows her well enough to understand that if he brushes it off as his own self-help makes her heart flutter. Genevieve is torn. She knows she should be angry—angry for all the secrets, angry for the things she’s had to endure alone. But in this moment, all she feels is exhaustion and confusion pulling her towards the man who has both been a steady presence in the chaos, and the very bringer of said chaos. 

He lifts her carefully, his hands steady as they guide her into the warm stream of water. The heat from the shower hits her like a wave, easing some of the tensions in her muscles, but it does little to soothe the deep ache inside her. Xaden takes his time, helping her to wash away the blood, the dirt, the remnants of her last battle, all while keeping his touch gentle. 

The sound of the water crashing against the stone tiles is almost drowned out by the soft rhythm of Xaden’s movements as he steadies her with a hand on the small of her back. She’s a little too disoriented to speak, her body feeling like it’s being pulled in a thousand different directions, but she trusts him enough to let him guide her through the simple motions. 

The heat from the water gradually starts to bring her back to life, at least physically. She inhales deeply, trying to focus on something other than the pain in her body and the proximity of his. Xaden’s voice is a low murmur beside her ear as he checks to make sure she’s okay. 

“You’re going to be fine,” he reassures her, though it’s clear that he’s more focused on her well-being than his own the entire time. His hands work with precision and a gentleness she hadn’t expected, and the warmth in his touch sends a shiver through her, despite the heat of the water. 

“I am fine,” she manages, her voice barely above a whisper, and Xaden just gives a low hum in response, not bothering to argue with her. 

With careful hands, he reaches for the shampoo, his fingers brushing through her damp hair, and the closeness of the moment becomes too much. She closes her eyes, focusing on the sensations rather than the thoughts that constantly threaten to cloud her mind. His touch, though comforting, is a reminder of everything she’s felt in his presence. It’s a dangerous thing, this closeness, and yet in this moment, it feels right. 

He finishes almost too quickly for her liking, washing her hair then his before stepping out of the shower. For a few moments, she hears him moving around in the bathroom before rummaging in her drawers, and then he re-emerges, fully clothed—unfortunately—and holding a towel and a set of clean clothes for her, too. 

Genevieve takes the towel from him, her fingers brushing his for a brief moment. The touch sends a jolt of warmth through her, but she quickly pushes the feeling down, reminding herself that this isn’t the time for such distractions. She stands there, still dizzy and still nauseous, her body aching from the fight and what feels like a fresh dose of poison, remembering everything about their relationship at the brief touch of their hands. 

Xaden steps back, giving her space as she dries herself off, the silence stretching between them. The quiet is comfortable, but there’s a weight to it—unspoken words lingering in the air like a storm waiting to break. Genevieve knows she should say something, anything to break the silence, but the exhaustion weighing on her body makes it hard to summon the energy. 

She glances over at him as she pulls on the clean clothes he brought her—simple, practical, but still a reminder that he’s taking care of her in a way she never expected him too. She’s still upset, still hurt by everything that’s happened between them, yet here he is, standing by her side in a way that feels both intimate and alien at the same time. 

“Thanks,” she says quietly, her voice hoarse as the two of them make their way back into the bedroom, and she gingerly sits down in the center of her bed, drawing her legs crossed in front of her. There’s a bowl of steaming hot soup on the nightstand that somehow got there in the twenty minutes they were in the shower—probably by Violet or Rhiannon—but she didn’t question it as Xaden placed it in her hands and gestured for her to eat. 

“You don’t have to thank me for that,” his gaze softens and he gives her a small nod. “How’s Basgiath without me?” 

“Boring,” she shrugged. “Bodhi and I started sparring together, Violet’s been sleeping in my room at night because she can’t sleep without…” he nods, and she skips over admitting that it’s Liam Violet can’t sleep without. “And that’s pretty much it. What’s it like at Samara?” 

“Look at you, asking questions.” A corner of Xaden’s mouth rises as he leans back, taking over the armchair in the corner of her room, sharpening his daggers on a strap of leather. His new uniform, Genevieve now recognizes, is so much better than his old once. She can’t help but notice he hasn’t added any patches to this one, either.

“I’m not fighting with you about your question games tonight,” She says with a pointed glare, spooning another small mouthful of whatever light soup she was eating into her mouth. “I’m too tired to deal with that today.” 

“Wanting you to ask what you want to know isn’t a game. You and me? Not a game.” he drags his blade over the leather again and again, before grabbing one of hers and getting to work. “And Samara is… different.” 

“The one-word answers aren’t going to cut it, Xaden.” 

He looks up from his work. “I have to prove myself all over again at what’s arguably the cruelest outpost we have. It’s… annoying.” 

Genevieve rolls her eyes playfully, cracking a small smile. Leave it to Xaden to be annoyed. “Do they treat you differently?” 

“You mean because of this?” He taps the side of his neck with the flat of her blade, touching the relic, and suddenly hers burns without even mentioning it. 

“Yeah.” 

He shrugs. “I think the last name does it more than the relic. The older riders are easier on Garrick, which I’m thankful

 for.” 

She sets the spoon down in the bowl. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s nothing worse than what I expected, and my signet’s more than enough to give most of them pause.” He puts the leather strap into his rucksack, then sets her blade back into its spot on her wall-sheath as he pushes himself to a stand. “Besides, it’s not like I’m not used to being the outcast. Just gives me more time to think about how much trouble you’re getting into here without me.” 

Genevieve huffs a laugh, though it’s cut short by a wince as her ribs protest. “Yeah, well, trouble finds me whether you’re here or not. Did you expect anything different?” 

“Not really,” he admits, sitting down on the edge of her bed. “But I’m here now, and you’re going to have to let me help. Even if it’s just by making sure you eat your soup.” 

Her eyes narrow at him, but she picks up the spoon again, her movements slow but steady. “Fine. You can play nurse for tonight. But you need to tell Violet she’s on her own tonight’s and if you think I’m letting you boss me around after this—”

“You’ll what?” Xaden’s smirk is sharp, teasing. “Glare me to death?” 

She sets the bowl down with more force than necessary, leveling him with a look that has made first-years cry. “I’ll figure something out.”

He laughs, a low sound that makes her stomach flip in a way she doesn’t want to acknowledge. “Sure you will, Gen. Sure you will.” 

There’s a moment of quiet after that, the kind of comfortable silence that used to come easily between them but has been harder to find lately. Xaden finally breaks it, his tone softer. “So… Violet’s not talking to you much?” 

Geneiveve sighs, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. “Not really. She sleeps in my bed at night, and we talk almost every night, too, but it’s mostly explosive emotional outbursts between the two of us. I think she’s still trying to process everything that happened with Liam and the rebellion. And, well, I’m not exactly the easiest person to talk to.” 

“You don’t say,” Xaden mutters, earning a half-hearted kick in his direction. He dodges it easily, his smirk returning. “Give her time. She’s been through a lot, and neither of you really know how to deal with it.”

”I know,” Genevieve admits quietly, her voice soft. “It’s just… I miss her. But she’s terrible at communication. Gods, I thank Dunne every morning that the two of you didn’t end up together. That would be a mess.” 

He snickers, and her gaze drifts to the door when she hears Rhiannon’s and Violet’s voices in the hallway a second before she shuts her door. Which reminds her… “Did you ward my room from visitors before you left? Because Violet has been in and out of her pretty much all on her own multiple times.” 

He nods. “It’s warded against sound, too.” He crosses his legs down by the ankles, and his legs brush against hers in a comforting manner. “One-way, of course. You can hear what’s going on out there, but they can’t hear what’s going on in here. Figured you might like your privacy.” 

“For all the people I can’t bring in?”

“You can bring in whomever you want,” he counters. 

“Really?” Sarcasm drips from her voice. “Because Sawyer tried to walk in and ended up on the other side of the hallway.” 

The corners of his mouth lift into a glimpse of a smile. “Tell him to hold your hand next time. The only way in here is by touching you.” 

“Wait.” She pauses, looking up at him and then down at the drawer of her nightstand that housed Violet’s hairbrush and nightclothes. “So you didn’t ward it for only you and me?” 

“It’s your room, Gen,” His eyes track down to her tousled and slightly tangled hair, and the way his fingers curl in his lap makes her swallow hard. “The room is warded to let whomever you pull through.” He clears his throat and shifts his weight as she runs her good hand through her hair, attempting to pull out a knot. “And selfishly, me.” 

“So how did Violet get in without me touching her?” 

“You and Violet tend to be somewhat of a packaged deal,” he shrugs. “And, uh, her room is warded too. Just to let in her and you—and obviously whoever she wants to let in, too.”

Genevieve lets out a soft snort, shaking her head. “Of course you’d think of something like that,” she mutters, not quite meeting his eyes as her fingers continue to work through her hair. 

Xaden tries—he really tries—to focus on anything but the way her hair is falling in soft waves around her shoulders now, slightly damp and sticking to her neck in a way that makes his thoughts uncomfortably chaotic. He shouldn’t be staring, not after everything that’s happened, not when she still doesn’t trust him. But gods, it’s like every single time he looks at her, there’s something new to notice, something he can’t seem to stop himself from being drawn to. 

Her hair, thought? It’s… unfair. Completely unfair. 

It’s the way it softens her sharp edges, the ones that keep everyone else at distance. The way it moes when she tucks it behind her ear, like she’s not even aware how easily it could undo him. Xaden grips his knees, digging his nails into the fabric of his pants as he tries to school his expression into something neutral. Get a grip, he reminds himself, his jaw tightening. 

But then, she notices. Of course she notices. 

Her fingers pause mid-tangle, and she tilts her head, her sharp gaze catching his for a brief moment. There’s a glint of mischief there, the kind that always precedes her favorite kind of trouble. 

“Are you staring at me?” she asks, her voice light and teasing, but her lips tug into a smirk that promises she already knows the answer. 

“No,” he says too quickly, his voice slightly rough, and he clears his throat like that’ll somehow fix the heat creeping up the back of his neck. 

Genevieve raises an eyebrow, leaning back slightly, her hair falling over her shoulders in a way that makes his chest tighten. “Really? Because it feels like you’re staring.” 

“I’m not,” Xaden lies, poorly, because the look in her eyes gives away that he’s been caught. Absolutely caught. His gaze darts to the floor, and he huffs a quiet sigh under his breath, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, yes, maybe I was. A little.” 

Her smirk grows. “A little?” 

“Don’t push it, Gen,” he warns, though the corner of his mouth twitches upwards despite himself. 

“Why not? This is the most fun I’ve had in days,” she says, shifting forward slightly, her hair falling slightly forward in front of her face. She notices his eyes flicker toward it again, and that’s all the confirmation she needs. “It’s the hair, isn’t it?” 

“No,” he says, but it’s so unconvincing that she actually laughs, and the sound is so soft and warm it almost sounds foreign coming from her, and it hits him in a way that feels too dangerous for his already unraveling composure. 

“It is the hair,” She declares, leaning against the headboard with a triumphant grin. “Wow, I thought you were joking when you had said my hair would bring you to your knees. I didn’t think you actually had a weakness like that.” 

His hands twitch at his sides, and he exhales through his nose, his dark gaze locking with hers. “Genevieve,” he starts, his voice dropping to something lower, rougher. “It’s been eight days since I’ve seen you. So, forgive me if I’m a little… distracted.” 

Her grin falters for a moment, but only briefly. She tilts her head, her expression softening, but still guarded. “Eight days, huh? And you’re this worked up over my hair?” 

“More like everything about you,” he admits, his voice unwavering. “The hair just happens to be the final straw.” 

For a heartbeat, she doesn’t say anything, and can’t tell if she’s going to keep teasing or finally push him away. Or maybe even—stop being crazy, Xaden. When she finally speaks, her tone is cool, even though her eyes flicker with something more. “I don’t trust you, Xaden. Not yet. So if you think this is going anywhere tonight, it’s not.” 

“I know.” His voice is low, steady, but there’s a weight to it, and an edge of vulnerability he doesn’t often show. “Tell me how your week went, then.” 

“At parapet, I watched every single cadet,” She admits. “Violet and Rhiannon looked away, and it clearly affected them, but I watched every single one, and it didn’t bother me when they fell.” 

“You were on the tower?” His brow furrows. 

“Yes,” She shifts, tucking her sore knees to the side. “I promised Liam I’d help Sloane, and I couldn’t do that from the courtyard,” A sarcastic laugh escapes her lips. “And—news flash—she hates me.” 

“It’s impossible to hate you.” he stands and walks to where his rucksack is leaned up against the wall. “Trust me. I tried.”

“Trust me. She does. She actually wanted to challenge me at assessment.” She groans, rolling her eyes. “She blames me for Liam’s death. Not that she’s wrong—”

“Liam’s death wasn’t your fault,” he interrupts, his body going rigid. “It was mine. If Sloane wants to hate anyone, she can aim it all right here.” He taps his chest as he turns, setting his rucksack on the desk. 

“He died in my arms. I have the power to heal people and essentially reverse time. It was my fault, not yours.” It’s not the first time they’ve had this argument, and something tells her it definitely won't be the last time they’ll have it, either. 

“It was mine.” He opens the top and rifles through the bag. 

“Xaden–”

“How many candidates fell this year?”

He pulls out a folded paper, then closes the bag. 

“A lot.” Genevieve can see them falling even now. 

“It’s always a lot.” He sits on her bed again, this time close enough that her knees brush his thigh. “And it’s okay that you could watch them die. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, just means you’re watching over them. You’re still you.”

“As opposed to turning into someone else?” Her stomach twists at the suddenly flat expression on his face, as if the mere mention of Liam’s death has put a wall solidly between them. “Because I feel like I am. I don’t even want to know the first-years’ names. I just… took that first year’s life like I took all of the wyverns’ lives. What does that make me if not a monster?” 

“It makes you a second-year.” He says it matter-of-factly. 

“I’ve seen death before,” she responds. “I was practically surrounded by it last year.” 

“It’s not the same. Seeing our friends—our equals—die on the Gauntlet, at Threshing, in challenges, or even in battle is one thing. Everyone in here is just fighting to survive, and it prepares us for what happens out there. But when it’s the younger candidates…” He shakes his head and leans forward, and she grabs her shirt to keep from reaching out for him. 

“The first year is when some of us lose our lives,” he says softly, tucking her damp hair behind her ear. “The second year is when the rest of us lose our humanity. It’s all part of the process of turning us into effective riders, and don’t forget for a second that’s the mission here.” 

“Desensitizing us to death?” 

He nods. A knock sounds at the door, and she startles, but can’t help but notice that he doesn’t. He just sighs and stands, heading for the door. 

“Already?” he asks after opening it, blocking her from view. Or blocking the view from her.

“Already.” She recognizes Bodhi’s voice clearly. 

“Give me a minute.” Xaden shuts the door without waiting for a response. 

“Let me come with you.” She swings her feet over the side of the bed, and does a decent job at hiding the wince on her face. 

“No.” He crouches in front of her, putting them at eye level, the parchment from his bag still clutched in his fist. “Sleep is the fastest way to heal unless you plan on seeking out Nolon, and from what I hear you’ve already tried to find him before.” 

“You need sleep, too,” She protests around the fread filling in her throat. They’ve only had ours, and she’s not ready for him to go. “You flew for half a day.” 

“You know I have a lot to get done before morning.” 

“Let me help.” She practically demands. 

“Not yet.” He reaches out to cup her face, then drops his hand as if rethinking the move. “But I need you to pay close attention to what happens when you leave in seven days with Tairn.” He presses the paper into her hand. “Until then… here.” 

“What is this?” She spares a glance downwards, but it only looks like folded parchment. 

“You told me once that I was scared you might not like me if you really got to know me.” 

“I remember.” 

“Every time we’re together, we’re training or fighting, or it ends in a fight. There’s not a lot of time for long walks by the river or whatever passes for romance around here.” He squeezes her hand gently and he can feel all of her calluses she’s built from mastering her weaponry. “But I told you I’d find a way to let you in, and right now, this is all I have.” 

Her gaze snaps to his and her heart flies into her throat. 

“I’ll see you at Samara.” He stands and grabs his rucksack and the two swords leaned up against the wall next to the door. 

“How will I find you once I’m there?” Her fingers clench the folded parchment. She’s never seen any outpost beside Montserrat and Athebyne. He turns at the door at looks back at her, holding her gaze. 

“Third floor, south wing, second door on the right. The ward will let you in.” 

His barracks room. 

“Let me guess—warded for sound and to let in you, me, and anyone you tug through?” The idea of him using that soundproofing for making anyone else feel the way he makes her feel is enough to put back the normal murderous glint in her eyes. 

They aren’t together, but the jealousy she harbors isn’t exactly a rational emotion. 

“No, Genevieve.” He lifts both swords overhead, then slips them into the sheaths on the pack behind him with practiced expertise and a hint of a smirk. “Just you and me.” 

He’s gone before she can even think of a reply, and with trembling hands, she unfolds the paper. 

Xaden Riorson has written Genevieve Hale a letter. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey everyone! What’s up? This chapter was cute, right? I think the whole thing with Xaden and Genevieve was cute despite their tensions, and the whole ‘Genevieve almost getting assassinated’ thing. It’s all fun and games (for now…) !

Anyways, I’ve gotten a little bit back into writing a lot, so I’ve finally started to actually progress in Iron Flame. I got differed from my top university yesterday which is kind of messing with me, and I haven’t really let myself cry which is an issue I have, so I’ll be taking Violet’s advice and have a good cry at some point even though it won’t change anything. Besides that, I’ve still been pretty sick lately, the nausea hasn’t really let up, although it’s mostly stress induced so it probably will ease up a little soon.

As always, if you enjoyed, leave a like, comment, or kudo, and I’ll be back next Saturday with chapter 7! See you all soon~

-------

Taglist: @awkardnerd , @hannraumari , @minjix , @glaciuswduo , @wolfbc97 , @heeseungthel0ml , @acourtofsmutandstarlight , @kylaisra

[bellewintersroe]

Sebastian Vettel x RBDesignEngineer! Reader

Set in 2013 during the GP, Jennifer is fresh out of uni and has made a name for herself within the F1 world. She joins Redbull-Renault as one of their engineer designers and easily fits into the team, forming friendships easily. Most of all, she captures the attention of three time world champion, Sebastian Vettel.

Part 3 - here’s the LINK to part 2. After Red Bull’s first and second place win in Malaysia, the team enjoy a 3 week break, and partying ensues for the youngsters in the team. Sebastian finds himself steering more and more in Jen’s direction, the two dance a little too close and Luke is pissed. Warning: the bf does get a little physical but nothing in detail so just a tw.

My eyes trailed after Sebastian, swooning uncontrollably for the driver. He was kinda sweaty, his hair was a mess from attempting to rid his helmet hair, and there was just something about that smile that made me want to sigh out loud at his beauty. I was quite literally admiring him, it felt like I had no control, but there was just something so overwhelmingly attractive about him that hurt my soul. When he turned, he caught me looking, so I offered him a friendly smile in response. Shit, that was slightly embarrassing. Sebastian smiled to himself, making his way over as I pushed myself up further on the bench. “Hey you.” He gently spoke, coming to sit besides me. I didn’t doubt for a second that he had seen me staring, now I knew I was burning up hotter than ever.

“Hiya, good practice today.” I commented, glancing down to my knees, sucking my bottom lip in to avoid smiling so much. When it was just Sebastian and I, I felt like a completely different person, I knew it was bad, but something deep inside of me softened in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. The feeling was addictive, the sensation of butterflies filling my stomach filled me with joy- followed by a sickening guilt shortly after. “Thanks. It went good, how has- how has your day been?” He asked as I scanned my eyes over his expression. He just seemed so genuine and pure, I hadn’t felt any man so intrigued with me before.

“Good, thank you. Busy as always, it’s been fun… I- that sounds so nerdy.” I facepalmed, “no, it is fun. This whole thing is fun.” He pointed out as I glanced around. “So crazy that we’re actually doing all of this.” “I know… who would’ve thought? Anyway- we’re going out tonight, are you coming?”

“Yeah sure.” I cringed at how fast I answered, my eagerness sounding a little too obvious.

“Ah, that was easy!” Seb giggled, eyes wide in amusement. “I just haven’t been out in a while.” I was quick to defend. “If only I could ask you on a date that easily.” He nudged into my shoulder as I scoffed out a laugh. “Shut up, Seb. What’s the plan for tonight??” On the inside I was a raging, blushing mess- yes Seb, I do wish it was that easy to say yes to you but- no! No I couldn’t think that way.

I ended up in some random bar, Luke of course following behind me, his grip was tight on my hand as he steered me away from saying a real hello to Mark. I watched the Australian’s eyes narrow towards my boyfriend in distaste. “Hey um… when do you think you’ll be heading home?”

“Well aren’t we going together?” Luke frowned. “Oh… I was going back to Monaco. Not England…” “Oh, I’ll come too.” He shrugged, barely even sparing me a glance as he stared up and down at the woman behind the bar serving drinks. I scoffed, pulling my hand away.

“Don’t you have work?” “Do we have to talk about this now?!” He groaned before he even replied, rolling his eyes and staring back down to me with a defensive look in your eye. “Yes. We do.” He had a funny look in his eye, one that just screamed to me that something was wrong. “What? What’s happened?” I sighed, automatically knowing there had to be something with him- as always.

“I lost my job, I don’t need it anway, I’ll just come to Monaco with you an-“

“What?!” Had I heard that right?! He’d lost his god damn job?! Something inside me raged as I looked back up to him with wide eyes. “You’re not coming to Monaco with me.” I firmed. “Baby, I’ve got nowhere else to go!” “Go to your mums!” I exclaimed, grateful the music was relatively loud in here. My comment didn’t sit right with him, I knew I shouldn’t have said it as soon as the words fell off my lips. Luke hated feeling like a failure in life. He likes to be in Monaco where he could ‘pretend to feel rich’. Jokes on him because when we were in Monaco it was too expensive to even do anything.

“What do you mean? Go back to my mums?” Luke harshly spun to face me directly now, causing me to step back slightly as he attempted to get up in my face. In return I swallowed, cowering my head. The smaller I looked, the less people would notice me, including him. My voice weakened instantly. “Don’t do this again…”

“We’re fucking leaving!” He snarled as I felt tears welling up in my eyes. “Oh- oh my god no you’re not crying.” But I was, and he was laughing now at me. Luke losing his job and deciding he’d follow me to Monaco meant he just wanted to sponge off me. I had no love for this man, just pure guilt that kept us together. The only reason he was here was because I was weak. I’d spent years and years and used my dads will to pay for the apartment in Monaco. He couldn’t come and invade that place.

As quick as Luke’s anger began, he was quick to morph it into a different emotion. Fake humiliation. “I’ve got no fuckin’ life baby…” wait? No real humiliation, he stood up straighter, noticing Sebastian nearby. Luke would catch nobody overhearing him speaking to me like this. The fact I had tears welling in my eyes was a huge give away to everybody that things weren’t ok, and that panicked Luke. Despite Luke’s numerous complaints about me working with Seb, he still tried to impress the man who seemed to give him daggers at any given point.

“Let’s not talk about this- hey mate!” Luke chimed as Sebastian awkwardly allowed him to give him an informal handshake. “Hey, uh- you good?” Sebastian’s eyes were on me, I could tell. Then there was a few, the more I glanced around the more mechanics, engineers, friends m, managers; people were glancing over in all different directions. I can’t believe we’d caused a scene, oh my god. “She’s good.” Luke falsely threw an arm around me as Sebastian attempted to walk around him in an attempt to get closer to me. “I’m asking her, not you.” He defended as I grimaced my teeth harshly together, offering a fake smile and nod. Sebastian getting involved just seemed so brave and I yearned for the care he offered- but, I knew this would and could only end ugly with him getting semi involved.

“I’m taking her home now anyway.” Luke sounded angry once again, his calm mask not lasting so long. Truthfully, he was threatened by Sebastian Vettel, who wouldn’t be. But he knew Seb as doing the decent thing like a decent human being would.

“Hey, you good?” Seb attempted to ask again, the urge to step out and go be with my friend was stronger than the urge to be with my own boyfriend. This time, Luke held his arm out, preventing Seb from getting closer, he even applied some force, nudging him away. That was the exact moment I completely lost it.

“Stop it!” I harshly yanked Luke’s arm back. “Don’t touch him like that, let’s go.” I cursed through now falling tears to my boyfriend who’s jaw was tight and he was shaking his head furiously. Seeing Luke ever lay hands on anybody was unsettling, never mind it being Seb out of all people. That had something inside of me wound up like never before.

When we got outside, he practically dumped me to one side as I sobbed loudly, the complete and utter disgust and humiliation I felt for this man becoming overwhelming. “What the fuck are you crying for?” He walked forwards, speaking harshly in my face as I flinched back, wiping harshly at the wet streams down my face. He’d ruined the night before it had even began. How was that possible? It had to be an all time record for him, and I was so fucking done. This was my life, my new life. I didn’t need this or him ruining it. “I’m the one that lost my fucking job! I don’t have any fucking money!” He threw himself forwards and for a second I thought he was going to hit me. I gasped, jumping out of the way as his fist collided with the metal door behind me with a curse. The bang rattled through my body and I desperately gasped for air, stunned by the aggressive act. All I could feel was my breathe heaving and falling in a petrified manner, I felt frightened to move, horrified that Luke had done something he’d promised to never do again. It made me self aware, I was better than this, that was abuse.

That evening we took our own methods of travel back to the hotel. I’d never had a man cry and sob on their knees for me before until he was begging me not to leave him, it was exhausting and in the end, the argument spun back onto other men including those who I worked with. In return I’d begged him to let me leave him, and despite it being the worst situation in my life, it worked. It worked and by the end of it and almost a grand on flight tickets for him later, he was gone. He was gone and I was alone, single, free- my body still rattled all night with the fear of his aggressiveness. It wasn’t until 5am that I caught a wink of sleep. I was haunted of the idea that he may return, and the calls from a ‘No Caller ID’ continuously buzzed through my phone. In the end, I turned it off, blocking all forms of life from outside the hotel room. Everything and anything could wait until the morning. I hadn’t slept well that night, I had a plane to catch and a cut to cover on my face. I felt ashamed, embarrassed, I didn’t even say my goodbyes to anybody in person, I just threw a text in their direction, claiming I was completely ‘good’ after they’d questioned me. On my ride to the airport however, my phone buzzed, this time with an unknown number. Hey, I hope you’re all good? Would you come talk to me when you’re free?

I almost shit myself at the text, raking my mind for who on earth it could possibly be. Could it be Christian? Ready to fire me? Somebody higher up, a CEO? Hi, sorry, who is this? It’s Sebastian, Hannah gave me your number My heart squeezed tighter and I felt tears well up in my eyes over the guilt I felt for my boyfriend laying hands on him last night. Extreme or not, he saw what happened, he tried to take care of me, ask if I was ok…

Hi, I’m so so sorry about last night, I’m good, I hope you are too? I’m on my way to the airport right now or I would’ve stopped by earlier to speak xx

It’s all good, I just wanted to see if you were okay? Hope you have a safe flight, I’ll see you when we get to China

I let out a sigh, wiping quickly at a fallen tear. “Miss? Miss we are here.” The driver politely spoke, eyeing me up in the rear view mirror. I didn’t even have a chance to reply to Sebastian’s message with all the hustle and bustle. It would be two weeks later when I arrived in China that I realised my mistake.

[aloneatpeace]

𝙰𝙿𝙾𝙲𝙰𝙻𝚈𝙿𝚃𝙸𝙲 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙻𝙳

Miscommunication '12'

Jungkook had left when Jin called him over leaving you alone, that’s good because something could have happened between the two of you if he had not gone the thing is you don’t know if it is good or bad given the current situation that you all are in and this is seems a really bad time for trying to rationalize your feeling when literally the world had just collapsed, but at the same time if not now, then when.

Namjoon also understands this, that’s why he gathered his friends huddling in the corner and reciting what he remembered and that’s also the reason why jin starting to forget about how to breathe properly.

Seems like yoongi is the only one that can actually stay clam or maybe he’s better at hiding his emotions unlike others. 

“So, you are telling me, we all lived under WICKED and you were one of them, you worked for them just her.” hoseok points at you through crack of the material their eyes find your figure looking through clothes.  “And that not just it but she was yours and our girlfriend before they took her away and separated us later send us into the maze one by one.” Hoseok said each words slowly with steady eyes locked on Namjoon’s eyes with pensive look on his face.

Namjoon nods “I know it sounds crazy, but we were in love with her.”

“You know when jimin said she is somehow very important to him, special to him that he can feel it his bones I did not think this would happen.” Mystified jin shakes his head a smile making his way towards his lips.

“How come she doesn’t remember, she stung herself but she doesn’t remember anything about us like you do. How can, we be sure. Janson said jungkook might be able to remember but why can’t she.?” yoongi questions genuine curiosity about the whole ordeal.

Namjoon scrunching his nose he crosses his arms “Maybe it has something to do with WICKED.” he looks at the sheepishly “Beside some of office adventure we had does seems very……. platonic?” Namjoon anticipatingly watches his friends face deadpan look on his face when they stare silently “Let just say…. I tore of her clothes.”  jin and jungkook face are flushed pink while Yoongi and hoseok give judemental glance.

“What you two aren’t much better.” Offended Namjoon scoff at them, before turning to jin and jungkook “I don’t think no of are.”

Jungkook doesn’t hear it he simply smiling with his flustered red face jin beside him frown calling the younger, he just points at the place where you are, the three catch the bare back of yours for quick moment they just stare before jin come in to his sense smacking jungkook head with a loud yell.

Jimin and taehyung raise their head when they hear jin yells, they shrug their shoulders, jimin almost went to heaven when they saw a decayed body while searching for anything that they can use.

Continuing the trail of wires, they crouch down in front of generator taehyung eyes scan the generator “Do you think it would work?” jimin asks shining his flashlight around them glancing around through metal shutter.

“This looks promising, hopefully it does.” He flips the switches carefully, jimin feeling nervous gulp beside him standing up he glance around the machine power up with roaring sound light and tv turns on.  

Taehyung stands up with smile turning on but it wiped off just as quickly it came. “Jimin! Get back.”

Just behind jimin a crank run towards him with a quick speed only to be stopped by the fence, jimin and taehyung huddle together as the crank, a little girl whose eyes are missing and it is replaced with dried thick dark red grimy blood.

Behind them another one pops up neck twisted abnormally, growl escaping its lips pushing jimin behind him taehyung takes crowbar and swing it at the crank, it falls with grunt the sound of more coming make their heart beat faster.

“We gotta move. Run.” Taehyung yells taking hold of jimin shoulder, they break into run and close the door just before the cranks can get out, covering the door with their body.

“Hold it.” jimin yells grunting, taehyung beside him frown pushing his body against the door yelling at jimin when he turns. With a frantic yell jimin pushes the big drawer, taehyung move as it fall down efficiently blocking the two creatures from getting out.  The creature’s growls echoes as they break into run without looking back.

When Taehyungs and Jimin reached first the rest of them gather together in confusion at why they the both of them are screaming.

You stand between Theo and jungkook frowning, taehyung shouts echoes from far away him and jimin is sprinting towards you.

“RUN.” Jimin yells yoongi’s eyes squinted to see them clearly eyes widening when he spots the creatures chasing them just few feet behind them. yoongi cruse out loud, slowly backing away he says your name in whisper “RUN.” Yoongi repeats, everyone break into run 

 “Taehyung, jimin, what the hell are those things?” Winston screams amidst of the chaos.

“I don’t know. just keep running.” Taehyung yells back climbing the stairs with everyone.

Jimin eyes finds Namjoon who is running up ahead “DO NOT FUCKING TRIP NAMJOON.!” Just as finishing climbing up the stairs everyone round the corner, another crank comes making everyone stop, Aris without a hesitation run forwards and swings the metal rode against its kneecap making it fall forwards on the ground.

Jimin and taehyung run up the stairs next to them resulting in separation from others, jimin swings his flashlight at the creature’s temple the creature let out growl at that, above him taehyung yells jimin to move aside before delivering a kick to the chest of other creature that came from stairs beside them the rest of creature catches up.

Yoongi takes the lead hurrying everyone to run up another flight of stairs, eventually taehyung and jimin catch with the rest. You tug the door handles of the may doors but none of the opens the creatures starts to piles up through the entrance with screeching sound escaping their lips.

Namjoon tugs you away and starts running only to end up in dead end trying to prey open the door only to have the same result.

Huffing Namjoon kicks the door with great strength, you move out the way just as hoseok comes in aiding Namjoon to kick open the door.

“I’ll hold them down.” Winston says taking out the gun he shoots at them, jungkook move towards Namjoon and hoseok. The three nod at each other before kicking the door one more time and the door opens.

Everyone runs out the door, jungkook and Namjoon push the door while hoseok yells everyone to run ahead hoseok pulls you along seeing your hesitation.

Sweat drip down their face “get ready to run.” Namjoon said “NOW.” They both sprint down “Everyone hide somewhere.” Namjoon yells.

Huddled under rubbles everyone sits silently the growling of the creature above starts to fade away, you wake up from your sleep your head felt heavy your shoulder felt heavy too glancing down you finds hoseok sleeping with head on your shoulder.

“Hey, how are you?” A low voice asks turning you finds Namjoon already awake, his eyes on you how long has been awake.?

“Should I be asking you that question.?” you mumble leaning back slowly without trying to wake hoseok. Namjoon shrugs “What happened after the night?”

“WICKED took me after the night, they nursed be back to life just like they did with jungkook.” Namjoon let out a scoff his eyes full of distaste even the word came out bitter “No out of their goodness of heart but send us back to maze, another maze, I’m sure.” You lower your head with a guilty look on your face Namjoon was quick to catch it. “I was working for WICKED.”

Your head perk up with wide eyes you glance at Namjoon “what.?”

Namjoon nods “Yeah, I used to I think I even designed the maze myself. I don’t know why I even did that.” He shakes his head his voice was heavy filled with sorrow and shame and regret.

“Well, it doesn’t matter, the past doesn’t matter dwelling in it only drown you more Namjoon. What you did, I did it doesn’t matter anymore we are going to get away from here far far far away from WICKED.” closing your eyes for moment you open your eyes and glance at Namjoon giving him a soft smile “I’m glad you and jungkook are back.”

“She is right.” a new sleepy deep voice said making startled that’s wakes up hoseok, yoongi open his eyes beside jin.

Hoseok glance up his face flustered when he realized the warmth he felt was not sun but its from your body this reminds him about the night the two of you spend in the maze together, not his preferable situation but still one that he holds dear to his heart.

“How long you been awake.?” Namjoon asks yoongi.

“Since the sun came up.” He answers one by one everyone starts to wake up “Janson said there is group of people rebelling against WICKED, they rescued children’s and take them to up in mountains far away from here.”

“Yeah, The Right Arm.” Hoseok joins the conversation, “We don’t how we can find but this is the only chance we have to save ourself from WICKED, we alone can’t fight back always.” Yoongi nod along with Namjoon.

The Right Arm, for some reason you really believe that there are people out there fighting back against WICKED beside what other choice you have.

The date was not clear it never was after the flare happened, time and date become unclear everywhere you turn is destruction, fallen building and broken bridges destroyed vehicles and street lights and road the cities turned graveyard. Everything is dead and destroyed turned into ashes and fables there is no sign of life.

Jimin insist that you walk with him and taehyung behind the group while Namjoon and yoongi leads the group.

 “Did you hear that?” you whisper stopping in your track making the both of them to stop as well they glance at you in confusion. “Guys!” you call out to the rest making them turn to you as well.

You ear search for the whirring sound that you heard quickly the sound starts to come closer “Get down! Everybody, hide! Hide! Hide!”

You take hold of Taehyung hands while pushing jimin under the rubble to hide taehyung pulls you in as well the rest also hide under the fallen rubble.

Aircraft and helicopters files above searching for the escaped one “They’re never gonna stop looking for us, are they?” taehyung asked.

“that’s long way off.” Jin said staring off at the endless distance that they have to travel.

“Yeah, let not get caught.” You state before crawling out the rubble walking up the sand hill all while encouraging the rest to catch up you finally reach the top a sigh of relief leaves your lips when you see mountains.

“Those mountains gotta be it.” hoseok said breathless his chest heaving up.

“That’s where we going.” Yoongi adds.

“Then we better get moving.” Namjoon looks around his friends eyes locking with one by one with a firm nod with that the journey to the mountains starts, with lot of uncertainty and fear of getting captured by WICKED again, fear of encountering the creatures that they just escaped from, fear of the unknown that awaits for them, fear of losing one of them but among so many shadows of fear and uncertainty there is glimpse of hope to survive through it all, to face the danger that lurking around the corner, to move forward despite even when everything in you scream not to, it’s the hope to live freely with the people dear and near to heart the push everyone forward.   

Series masterlist

Tag list ( is open )

@elliott-calls @cerulean1riz @lizzymizzy-blogg

[livfastdieyoung69]

Can I have Edge x Fem reader where she's been friends with him and Christian since they were kids leading to them sharing a kiss in the rain after being locked out of the rental house they're staying in by Christian and Lita?

NOVEMBER RAIN

( Adam ‘Edge’ Copeland x gn!Reader)

“This isn’t funny guys, it’s cold out here!” Adam yelled from beside you, pounding onto the motel room door as you shivered and tried to shove yourself further into your coat. Christian and Lita had decided it would be funny to lock the two of you outside after honking the horn and sprinting from the car as fast as they could, startling the two of you awake in the backseat to stumble out into the pouring rain, just on the verge of snow thanks to being in the ever freezing Alaska. It wasn’t often visited by WWE, but every once in a while it was sprung upon everyone.

“I can hear you giggling in there! I’m gonna get pneumonia again and I’m gonna tell everyone it’s all your guys’ fault!” Once, last year, you’d gotten a little too tipsy after a big win and went to celebrate with your boys- of course they were there, the three of you were never far from each other- and had been coaxed into a few snow angels. Of course, you had no coat, or gloves, not even a hat, and caught a pretty bad case of pneumonia. Whenever you wanted something really bad you just pretended you were still mad at them for it. Usually it worked, but this time your trick seemed unsuccessful.

With a groan, you turned from the door and pouted your way to the bench not far from your room. Thankfully it was under a bit of roof so the rain couldn’t reach it. Tucking your knees close to your chest in hopes of a little bit more warmth, you watched Adam come join you on the bench.

“Think they’ll let us in soon?” You asked, tilting your head onto his shoulder and looking out on the rain. He shrugged underneath you.

“Who knows. I think this might be Christians payback for last week so we might be out here for a little.” The two of you had superglued Christians cup to his hand when he was too busy kissing all up on Lita to notice. Giggling at the memory, your pout recluses as you shuffle further into Adam’s side, his arm coming up to sit over your shoulder.

“Seems like the start of a prank war to me.” You spoke with fond memories quickly returning. ‘Prank Wars’ as your little trio liked to call them, were definitely not new, you just had an added enemy this time. Your hand left its nice, warm pocket for the warmth of Adam’s instead, fingers joining together and dangling over your shoulder with a comforting squeeze.

“Let the prank wars…” He moved in closer to you, whispering some dumb accent into your ear. “Commence!!” God, what a weirdo. And didn’t you just love him for it? Here you sat, pretending like he was just oh-so-weird, when he had you giggling and more bashful than you knew possible! It seemed to be a normal thing, he’d always make you sheepish and giddy with laughter, and at some point, when it was just the two of you, he’d started ending your giggles with a sweet kiss. Only when it was the two of you though, no one else knew. You weren’t really sure why, maybe it was just nice for the two of you to finally have something to yourselves. You didn’t have to share him with the rest of the world, even if they watched him wrestle at least once a week.

Your hand squeezed his again as you picked your head up from his shoulder with a huge grin, the one he was happy to have put there. Your other hand, which had been happily tucked between your legs and enjoying the warmth moved to cup his jaw, softly touching the little bit of stubble that’d grown since last night. Finally, with love sick grins, soft lips met soft lips. Neither of you want to put back, enjoying the warmth both emotionally and literally, it was fucking freezing, but when you finally do both of your ear-to-ear smiles return before another quick peck.

“How are we gonna get ‘em back?” You mutter, barely centimeters from him. You could see his tiny little freckles, he could see all the indents of your skin. Before he’s able to answer, the door swings open, and Christian and Lita pop their heads out. Lita, with a grin the size of Texas, but Christian looks like a scorned mother.

“Now, what in the hell is this?” He sounded like a scorned mother too.

Just a cute lil thing, today was my first day off of not even kidding the MONTH and I’ve been kicked back off the Netflix account so no supernatural for me 😔 ive cleaned, ive read a book and a half, ive now wrote im going stir crazy i dont even know what to do with free time anymore

Anyways hope you enjoyed i dont like love this but its not bad ig

[btssmutficslovingfan01]

Day 8: Breeding | Try for a Baby

Pairing: Namjoon x Fem!Reader

Genre: EROTIC LITERATURE 🧐

Words: 1.2k

A/N: DOUBLE POST I AM FEEDING YALL HUNGRY ASSES! Edit: Updated cover because the last one didn't do him justice, I'd let him breed me all he wants if he approached me in the ICONIC red, DAMN!🎃 Kinktober 2023 m.list right here! 🎃

⇤ Prev | Next ⇥

__________________________

“Awww, Minhi, your baby is adorable.” You cradle the baby in your arms, bouncing him on your knees as the toothless child smiles up at you, eyes twinkling with innocence. Your heart skips a beat. You love your new nephew.

“Yes, Junha is a sweetheart,” Minhi replies to you as she watches you play with her baby as her husband returned along with her brother.

“We got the food. Korean Fried Chicken good enough for ya, sis?” Namjoon asks while scratching his neck, setting the plastic bag of food on the dining table before making his way over to living room to see his nephew once more.

“Yes Joonie, that’s fine.”

“Hey honey.” Namjoon wrapped his arms around you for a quick hello hug as you carefully shifted the baby over in your own grasp. It seemed like he was watching how your husband interacted with you carefully.

“Welcome back. Isn’t Junha adorable? I’m sure those shoes you got for him will fit perfectly on his tiny wittle feet.” You say in a baby voice, making Namjoon raise his eyebrows but softly his confusion turns into happiness as a little smirk makes its way onto his face.

“Yeah, he is pretty cute,” Namjoon takes his nephew into his arms. “He kinda looks like me, makes sense since I am his uncle.” He said a matter-of-factly.

“You would make adorable kids.” You comment, meaning it only in passing. Namjoon gave you a double take when you weren’t looking. He’d been thinking of it before but now more than ever, especially after his sister went through the delivery, naturally…Namjoon made sure to wife you up, hard.

You met in the park, while he was taking his dog for a walk and you were jogging. You were mutually attracted to each other and after running into each other by accident a few more times, he asked you out on a date. You hit it off immediately, and within six months you were engaged. And about six more months later, you were married. However, you were still somewhat still getting to know each other. You learned new things about each other every year and this journey of marriage with him was fun for you. You love him, and you would literally die for him.

You never talked about children before though.

After three hours visiting Minhi and her family, you and Namjoon got back to your own home, sighing and sitting down on the living room couch with two glasses of wine. You stare into his eyes while you both went through your nightly routine as newlyweds. It had only been five months, and you were barely a year into your marriage anyways.

“Y/N, you ever thought about having kids of our own someday?” Namjoon asks as he rubs your hands soothingly.

“Not particularly but….have you?”

“Yeah. I’ve always wanted to be a dad.” Namjoon says.

“Well, would you like to make one?”

“What?”

“Make a baby. With me.” You were HALF-joking. Only slightly. But then again if it meant you could get dicked down really well by your husband you were seriously in love with, you didn’t give a shit.

“Y/N?” You straddle his lap, staring into his eyes to ensure he knew you were 100 percent serious.

“Oh…Joonie.” His name rolls off your tongue easily as he moved his hands down the sides of your thighs, before slowly brushing his fingers against your inner thighs.

“You’re seriously…” You didn’t let him finish his sentence before pressing your lips against his in a heated manner. You want him, now.

“Joon, let’s try for a baby, right now.”

“Y/N, we…we can’t just…do that. We have to talk about it…” He rubs your thighs while staring into your eyes. You could tell he was struggling to hold himself back.

“Fuck a baby into me, honey.” Nothing more needed to be said as the primal desire filled your husband’s eyes as he finally gave in.

“You want to be bred that bad?” Namjoon’s deeper rasp comes out as he grabs your thighs, sinking his nails into them.

“Yeah..” You rock forward, rubbing your body against his, desperate to feel some relief from the friction of your panties rubbing on his clothed cock. Your clit is throbbing.

“You’re so needy for my cock, aren’t you, honey?” Namjoon asks, as he continues kneading your thighs as he had been for a few minutes as you grinded against him. Until you were begging. “Beg for it, beg for me to fill you with my cum,” You stop grinding against him and undo his belt, pulling off your dress and your panties slowly when Namjoon suddenly holds your arms, keeping you from sliding your panties fully down. “Y/N, beg for it.”

The dominance in his gaze awakened something within you as you look up at him. Fierce brown eyes piercing into your e/c ones. Your breathing quickens.

“Breed me, Joonie. Put a baby in my belly…I beg of you. Do it quickly….please….I can’t wait any longer…” 

“Course, sweetheart.” Namjoon smirks with a shit-eating grin before ripping apart your panties with his bare hands and sliding his cock into you instantaneously, and the deed was done. He’s inside, partly.

“Oh god,” Your eyes roll back. “Shit…” You close your eyes as your husband continues thrusting upwards, reaching, reaching for the back of your womb. “ Mmmm, gimme that sweet semen of yours, Joonie.” You whine, bucking your hips at the same time, your eyes filled with nothing more than lust for the man in front of you.

He digs his fingers deeper into your flesh, your thighs burning from both how he gripped you but also the sheer force of his movements. Underneath, your thighs smacked against his. Over and over, a raunchy rhythm of sorts, as you fuck your husband on the couch of your living room, your drinks long forgotten on the coffee table as he brought his hands up and stared up at you in bewilderment. He’d never quite seen you like this before, even on your wedding night. Reduced to a beautiful shell of a human being, only begging for his cock. HIS. He watches you as you move your hips along his, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight.

“Honey…” He calls out to you, almost in a strangled voice. “Baby?” He gulps.

“Don’t worry Joonie,” You breathe deeply, slowing down as he looks at you with concern in his eyes. “I have no intention of getting pregnant, but sometimes my breeding kink gets the best of me..” You say sheepishly. “Now how about it? Wanna attempt to impregnate me?” You ask.

“Thought you’d never ask,” Namjoon understands now. He grips your hips, pulling you back down. “Take the cock you were made for,” He thrusted hips even harder than before, making you squeal in pleasure. “Shall we try harder? Maybe I should hit it from a deeper angle?” You groan as he smacks your ass before picking you up, standing. You were fucked with a deep rot passion, eyes rolled back as he thrusted while throwing you up in the air, and you could only take it like the cocksleeve you were meant to be.

“Oh, Oh, Oh! Namjoon, NAMJOON!” He grunted, cum dripping from your hole as he fell back with you on top of him. His cock fell limp as you twitched on top of him. 

“So, ready for round two?”

[whirligig-girl]

2379 March 19th

The air had a distinct chill to it by now, and Guz looked all around her as the sky took on an almost silvery cast. Gaps in the trees at the edge of the clearing acted as pinhole cameras, producing hundreds of little bright crescents onto the ground and onto the shuttlepod.

"I told you we'd be in the path of totality," Marta said, nudging Guz on the arm and pointing up at the sky. She tapped a button on her clear glass visor, and it suddenly became reflective and metallic. "Look at that. Any minute now." The Sun was now just a slim crescent, the Moon covering nearly all of it.

“Augh…” Guz said, rubbing her arms, “sorry I questioned your navigation skills.”

“Good,” Marta said.

"We have precisely three minutes and twelve seconds, by my count," Dyani said.

Guz had her telescope, a 5" catadioptric astrograph, set up on an equatorial mount, with a tunable Herschellian Wedge serving as a solar filter and heat rejection system. She was used to handholding her telescope, but with only three minutes of totality, she didn't want to take any chances. The holographic eyepiece she'd been using had dutifully captured full spectrum imagery of Sol and before the partial eclipse began she had tuned through the different visible wavelengths in the passthrough lens, allowing her, Marta, and Dyani to see prominences and filaments in Sol’s chromosphere, as well as detailed sunspots in its photosphere. Marta, having evolved around this especially hot star, could even make out the magnetically active plages in the deep-violet Calcium-K line, but Guz's eye lenses had a slight green-yellow tint which blocked far-violet, and Dyani's Vulcan eyes could barely even see blue--though she reported detail in the deep-red Hydrogen-Alpha view which astounded Marta and Guz. No matter--once the eclipse was over Guz would be able to process all of the spectral bands and find more appropriate wavelengths to display them in.

Guz was anxious, and she paced back and forth, shaking her wrists. They made an almost cartoonish literal slapping and sticking sound and she went, which was nice, because it was both tactile and auditory. She went back to the telescope, but she tripped on the tripod.

Guz emitted a gargling warbling sound which Marta was pretty sure was a mellanoid curse word, and she scrambled to fix the telescope’s alignment.

“AUGH!” she said “I messed up the polar alignment! It won’t track now…”

Marta stood up from her chair, and grabbed her canes. She walked up to Guz and put an arm on her shoulder. “Hey, Eaurp, don’t worry. The important thing isn’t the holos.”

“Actually the holos are incredibly important! I know you and Dyani are just here for fun, but I’m doing this for my Astro-251 class. I have to get these images!”

“Eaurp,” Dyani said. “It is unnecessary to fret. Professor Frederick made it clear that terrans have a long history of ‘eclipse madness’--”

“But I’m not a terran!”

“It is not a matter of the species, so much as the circumstance. As you are always so quick to remind us, Earth is the only known inhabited planet with a natural satellite that appears the same size as its parent star. The eclipses are rare and last only minutes,” Dyani said.

“Yeah girlie, you got the eclipse madness,” Marta said, “Just calm down for a minute. You’ll find a way to make up your project.”

Guz put her face in her hands, then looked up and began fiddling with her PADD to try and fix the alignment.

Guz tapped her combadge. "Cadet Guz's log, stardate 56212, continued. Terrans call it March 19th 2379. Local time is… 12:32. We are here in the Italian countryside, a minute away from totality, and I just bumped my telescope off of Sol. I have missed all three total eclipses that have occurred on Earth during my time here. This is my last year, and so my last shot. Everything has to go just right.”

“Forty seven seconds,” Dyani reported. Guz checked her chronometer. Dyani’s mental timing was ‘only’ two seconds off.

“Stop fiddling with that thing and just relax!” Marta said.

“NO! I HAVE TO SEE THE CORONA UP CLOSE!” Guz shouted, and she buried her eye into the holograph’s pass-through. “Ok! I see Sol and Luna!” Guz said. “This alignment will have to do…”

Guz watched as the last slivers of white sunlight disappeared. She looked up, and during that last moment, the entire world changed around her. She was standing in twilight, but with the sky orange all around her. She looked around. The animals were reacting wildly, with twitters and chirps and ribbiting from the local fauna, likely confused as to why the Sun went out in the middle of the day.

When Guz had first set foot on Earth, it was very literally an alien planet. But it still had blue skies, white clouds, deep blue seas, and green foliage (albeit much dryer and less sticky than she had been accustomed to).

The planet Guz was standing on right now was not Mellanus, not Italian Earth, and certainly not Luna--it was an entirely unique world, one which only existed for minutes at a time. Guz was standing on Planet Eclipse.

Guz looked up and shouted. “Hah! LOOK! LOOK AT THAT! THE CORONA!” 

Nothing could have prepared her for it. The corona was a silvery halo that extended from the apparent black hole in the sky in all directions, with concentrated hairlike filaments stringing out from reddish pink spots on the black circle’s limb. 

Before the eclipse, Sol had been white with a few dark specks and surrounded by darkness, but this thing was nearly its inverse: black, with a few tiny starlike dots inside of it, surrounded by a pale ghostly light. The Sun had disappeared, and something completely alien took its place. Intellectually, Guz knew that all stars--even Zwo-nmu--had coronae, but this was the first time she’d seen the corona with her own two eyes. She supposed it wouldn’t have to be the last--maybe next time she was in space she’d try to blot out the sun with her finger.

Guz could make out four starlike points, one to the left of the Sun, and three to the right. “Look! Look! There’s the other planets! The bright ones are Jupiter and Venus!”

She looked down and around again to see Marta sitting in the grass just staring up at the thing, her visor completely transparent. Dyani had taken her visor off entirely and stared, silently.

“WAIT! NO! The uh! The filter!” Guz said. She hadn’t remembered to remove the filter from her telescope. She scrambled back to the telescope, and twisted a dial on the Herschellian Wedge. The view through the passthrough eyepiece brightened up by 100,000 times and Guz actually saw the corona, magnified 50 times, in unfiltered, uncompressed detail. The detail was so delicate and intricate. Guz could now see the row of cilia-like prominences to the left, which Dyani had seen so easily before but which she and Marta had been unable to detect. In true color, Sol’s chromosphere was magenta, not the spectral red she had seen before in the H-alpha. As Guz’s eyes adjusted, she could even make out Luna’s city lights. She recognized Tycho City, and New Berlin immediately.

“Dyani, how much time do we have left?” Guz said.

After a moment, Dyani replied. “We should have another two minutes of totality left.”

Guz looked away from the eyepiece to get another look at the gaping hole in the sky where the Sun should be.

And then, in an instant, the corona disappeared entirely. A bead of intense white light bore into Guz’s retina, and she immediately flipped her visor down.

Guz’s hands shook. Then she slowly began to smile. “THAT WAS THE COOLEST THING I HAVE SEEN IN MY LIFE!” she shouted, and she began to jump up and down. Her hair went jiggly. Dyani looked at her with a blank stare, and Guz felt a little shy and stopped her celebrations. “I just can’t believe Mellanoids were robbed of this.”

“It is a remarkable celestial coincidence. The diurnal stellar eclipses visible on the T’khut-facing hemisphere of Vulcan do not capture the character of 40 Eridani A’s corona so completely, nor do they produce an atmosphere of such… eerie character.”

“Marta! Marta! Was it different to a Solar Eclipse on Luna?” Guz said, turning around.

Marta was still on the floor, rubbing her eyes, sobbing quietly to herself.

“Marta?” Guz said.

Marta reached out for a hand. Guz gave her a hand and pulled her up. Marta sniffled.

“Are you okay?” Guz said.

Marta just nodded. She didn’t look ok. Guz looked at Dyani, who just shrugged. Marta wiped her eyes again. Guz picked up Marta’s canes, and she walked back to her chair to take a seat.

Guz returned to her telescope. The herschel wedge had not been re-enabled. The holographic eyepiece was fried.

Guz stuttered a little. “Oh. Uh. Dyani. Um. There weren’t two minutes left.”

“What.”

“It was probably more like. Um. Two seconds. So the uh. The holograph is ruined.”

“Damn,” Dyani said.

“Haha. Yeah. Um. That coulda been my eye, haha…”

“Then it is fortunate you were not looking through the eyepiece at the end of totality.”

Guz checked her PADD to make sure the data was streamed properly to her recorder. When she was convinced that it was, she turned off the telescope and began packing it back up into the Class 2 Shuttlepod. By the time she finished, the sky had grown brighter; the air warmer. 

When she was done, she sat down on the grass next to Marta’s chair, and put her visor back on. Luna no longer covered so much of Sol.

“It was… I don’t even know how to describe it…” Marta said. “I mean I’ve… I’ve seen solar eclipses before. And they’re beautiful from Luna, don’t get me wrong. But it’s all so different when you’re on Earth.”

“It’s a shame I won’t ever have the chance to see a solar eclipse on the Moon,” Guz said. “Well, I mean, I have seen one, it’s just, when you’re on Earth, we call it a Lunar Eclipse.”

“I’ve even seen terran eclipses before,” Marta said. “They don’t look like anything special from all the way up there. Just a little dark spot going across Earth. When I was younger, I wondered what terrans were so hyped up about, you know? But I get it.”

“And! And!” Guz said. “IT’S SO COOL! THAT YOU GET TO SEE ECLIPSES HAPPEN AT ALL ON LUNA AND VULCAN!”

“Indeed,” Dyani said, “the air temperature does drop noticeably during stellar eclipses due to the reduction in insolation. It is cool shit.”

“Omen doesn’t do that! When Omen got close to Mellanus, it was a lot like Luna--but a lot brighter. But it never goes in front of Zwo-nmu!”

“Why?” Marta said.

“It is a simple consequence of Mellanus’ coorbital trajectory,” Dyani said.

“Closest thing we get to eclipses is when Cold Ember transits Zwo-nmu and if you have really good vision you can see it with just a dark visor as a little dot.”

“I remember going out in my EV suit after finishing an early morning delivery in Oceanus Procellarum one time when I was 13,” Marta said. “The Sun hadn’t risen, but off to the east I could see this faint gray glow. I turned off my suit lights and just stared at the glow, with everything else almost black, just lit a little by the crescent Earth. The milky way was out, but this gray glow was even brighter than it. I kept watching it, even as my suit began to get freezing cold, I sat down on a little boulder a few meters from my shuttle. As I waited; it must have been almost an hour, I saw just about a quarter of a silvery circular halo. I saw a tiny hint of magenta come over the mountain in the distance, and before I knew it, the world exploded into light as the Sun came up. I had the ghost image in my eye for an hour after that. Made getting home a little harder.”

“Wow,” Guz said.

“In principle, what we have just witnessed was a sunset and a sunrise on Luna, just much farther away,” Dyani said.

“A couple years later I saw my first solar eclipse--what Terrans call a Lunar eclipse--and I realized what that ghostly glow was. But even then, I couldn’t see the corona all at once. Earth blocked half of it at a time,” Marta said. “But still I figured that the whole landscape around you turning orange-red from all of Earth’s sunrises and sunsets shining on the Moon more than made up for seeing the corona all at once.”

“Does it?” Dyani asked.

“It’s different when you’re standing out in the open without a space suit. You’re not in this temperature-controlled little box. It all feels… so much more real. The Sun shining right on my face, the air gets real chilly…”

“Is that why you were having an emotional reaction?” Dyani said.

“What? No. Not quite,” Marta said. “I dunno. Maybe. But I just realized, during totality, that that wasn’t just a big bite taken out of the Sun. That’s my home up there. I’ve seen it from space hundreds of times. But never like that.”

“Yeah…” Guz said.

“The Nevasan eclipses visible on Vulcan are similar to a Solar eclipse as viewed from Luna,” Dyani said. “Except the partial phase lasts minutes and the total phase lasts over an hour. It is essentially a brief second night time. 40 Eridani A’s corona is not visible for much of the eclipse.”

“My only other chance to see any eclipses was when I was doing survival training on Andoria, but they had us on Andoria’s far side and the one solar eclipse we would have seen due to an occultation by an outer moon, we were stuck inside the ice caves. Apparently Andorians don’t consider solar eclipses worth interrupting work for. Plus, 40 Eridani B is a white dwarf, so it’s not like its corona is actually visible. Also--you know how our shadows got weirdly sharp in the last minutes before totality? It’s like that all the time on Andoria. So at least there’s that.”

Guz looked down at the ground, then back up at the slowly brightening crescent Sun, and then at the dirt below her feet. The leaves of the trees still projected crescent-shaped images on the ground. Guz held her hair out, and bubbled it up, wondering if the green-tinted caustics cast on the ground would behave similarly.

“It was certainly one hell of an expedition to close out our senior years,” Dyani said.

“There she goes with the colorful language again,” Marta muttered.

“Perhaps you should speak up so Eaurp can hear you,” Dyani said.

They were arguing again. Guz didn’t think Dyani liked her very much, but she definitely didn’t seem to get along with Marta. “Thanks for coming out to Italy with me for this,” Guz said.

“Yeah,” Marta said. “It was… an adventure.”

“The Italian peninsula is home to many interesting historical sites. Perhaps we should visit some of them,” Dyani said. “For example, the fallen tower of Pisa.”

“Touristy nonsense, it’s just a field full of a bunch of people pretending to try to lift it back upright,” Marta said.

“I wanted to see it. Anyway we should probably start with finding any town, since our shuttlepod isn’t flying any time soon,” Guz said.

Marta gave Dyani some side-eye.

“That was not my fault,” Dyani said.

--------------

And yes, there really will be a total solar eclipse visible in Afroeurasia on March 19th, 2379 (at about 12:30 in Italy.)

Marta Martinez and Dyani were two of Guz's classmates at Starfleet Academy. In fact, Dyani was Guz's roommate. Dyani is @raydrawsdaly's OC. Marta and Guz are my OCs.

[yapwithsyd]

We Got A Happy Ending! | Heaven Official’s Blessing

My journey with Heaven Official’s Blessing has officially come to an end with the completion of book 8! This was such a happy and sad moment for me. Having spent so much time reading this story and getting attached to the characters, seeing the canon story end made me so sad. I was so happy that I decided to read this, and the good news is that now I can look up fan content without fear of spoilers.

Returning to see what the verdict of Mu Qing’s odd behavior was all about, things get a bit tense. My worst fear in book 7 was that someone was going to die. This is always something that lingers in the back of my mind when reading a book that involves a lot of fighting, not knowing where loyalties lie, I just fear that the next page turn is going to end up with a character bleeding out on the ground. Mu Qing dangling over a waterfall of burning lava was not something I ever wanted to read, add to that, Xie Lian JUMPING ON HIS SWORD TO FLING HIMSELF OVER. Only to barely catch Mu Qing with Ruoye had me as worried as Hua Cheng.

The Heavenly Crossing Bridge allowed the original trio to clear up a lot of lingering issues, but I pretty much glossed over that because, just like Xie Lian, I was NEEDING to see where Hua Cheng ended up after nosediving after Xie Lian into a face full of lava.

Seeing the face book between two ghost kings was something that I didn’t know I desperately wanted to read about. Imagining the fight: the quick movements, the clash of the weapons scrapping against each other, the tension in the room marked the point in the book that I DID NOT want to put it down till I was finished.

The entire fight was a wild ride of feelings. Seeing White No-Face toss off the mask, grab his sword and power up like a Shonen antagonist, only for Xie Lian TO JUMP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIGHT WITHOUT A WEAPON was not a delight to visualize. The only good thing was the knowledge that Xie Lian’s body cannot be killed… he can be wounded greatly - but he can never die. The others in the room, not so much. There was a good three pages there where I thought that Mu Qing and Feng Xin were going to die for sure. That damn cursed shackle sucking out blood just like it did to Yin Yu, and eight arrows stab into your chest are not events that usually leads to a happy outcome.

Xie Lian trying to defend with just his hands does not seem like the best strategy, and leads to one of the saddest (non-deadly) moments in this fight is when he tries to use Ruoye, only for the magical ribbon to be torn apart! As a super sentimental person, seeing this moment upset me a lot.

I know that Hua Cheng would do literally anything for Xie Lian, but I do not know how this man was able to stand back and watch Jun Wu beat this poor boy half to death by smashing his head into a solid rock wall while belittling him with every hulk smash. Being forced to watch the love of his life, the main that gave him a reason to live, being harmed must have been one of the hardest things to watch. Back in the shrine, with the 100 sword stabs, Hua Cheng was still a little flame, he couldn’t do much aside from gather all his energy and finally end the pain. Having him be at (almost) his stronger form and having to observe without being able to step in and save him had to have destroyed him inside. He is stronger than me because the first hand rustling Xie Lian’s hair and I’m tossing his ass in the lava with everything I got, even if I went in with him.

The fight that ignites inside Xie Lian as he’s screaming that he will never change was the start of the big build up, the moment where he would get the power to beat Jun Wu. This brings us the moment of breaking Xie Lian’s cursed shackles. Being able to see Xie Lian fight at full power was something that I was hoping to see since the beginning. He is such a powerful opponent even when restricted so much, so I knew this was going to be that “through the power of love and friendship” that was going to win them the fight.

The ending of the fight created a lot of emotions. Jun Wu laying on the ground, defeated, and finally having his mentor remain by his side made me feel for the inner child that was Jun Wu in the past. And then of course we have the moment that made me so sad because I finally thought that Hualian would have their happy ending, Hua Cheng disappearing in Xie Lian’s arms. Xie Lian trying to give back spiritual energy, him crying out because he only recently came to term with his feelings for Hua Cheng, the uncertainty of how long the two would be separated.

The depression mini-arc was really the wind-down after the final boss fight. Everyone comes together to try and rebuild the Heavens and the return (against her will) of Ling Wen to take care of the mountain of paperwork was sweet to see. But, we also had to watch Xie Lian isolate himself from everyone else, staying in his little shack and cleaning it up because he knew that his Hua Cheng would return to him soon.

The fact that Hua Cheng returned on the night of the Ghost Festival was perfect. Imagining the scene of them running into each other’s arms almost brought tears to my eyes. Them going back to Puqi shrine after the villagers rebuilt it was so meaningful. It was a great way to show that the actions that Xie Lian and Hua Cheng did to her those in that town really did have an impact. Seeing Qingxuan bring all the people who helped with the human array to the shrine to make good on the promise to feed everyone was so sweet. And the sweetness promptly ends after Heaven’s Eye opens his mouth. This seems to be the brick that falls to release the flood gates that is thirsty Hua Cheng. The insinuations that happen after Heaven’s Eye announces that he can sense evil qi from inside Xie Lian’s body sent me into a laughing fit. The call out that he is just walking around after a session without cleaning up, and the smugness of Hua Cheng when he comes up to hold Xie Lian - this scene took me out.

The bonus chapter really felt like fanfictions, it was like the author knew what fans wanted. And that was domestic scene with the couple after they have officially gotten together.

Seeing Xie Lian thinking back on the time where he longed for someone to share that one special food that he could no longer remember the taste of was so sad. I’m so glad that he no longer has to think about moments like that because he now has Hua Cheng… and the residents of Ghost City to keep him company. The ghosts setting up Xie Lian with all those word puzzles was so funny. It shows that even the ghosts really love that their king has found someone that he loves and that they all adore Xie Lian. Wrapping up that chapter with Hua Cheng bringing Xie Lian back to the shrine and surprising him with a surprise meal together.

The three chapters of the amnesia section were hands down my favorite. This felt like it was the most outlandish and most fanfiction-y of the bonus chapters - which might be why it’s my favorite. Seeing Xie Lian revert back to that (somewhat) dumb 17 year old prince, seeing how different he is was a testament to how much he has changed over the centuries. The entire time, seeing Hua Cheng screwing with Xie Lian, making him call him gege, gaslighting him all day, this was the most fun I’ve had reading Hua Cheng. He comes off as such a fox character, so being a tease to his love fits him perfectly.

Who would have thought that the simple request of a bedtime story would result in one of the most unholy retellings of a relationship. I cannot imagine how red Xie Lian got while reading about himself coming to a mountain and needing to seduce Hua Cheng in order to find a bunch of dead brides. The amount of substance that Xie Lian gathers in this one is unhinged. I just have this feeling in the back of my mind that the tale got spun because of Hua Cheng and the ghosts of Ghost City.

Seeing Hua Cheng’s statues in such detail showed off that they were not a bunch of random Xie Lian sculptures, they were moments of major events during his life. One of which being his time against the land of the tender. Why he would want to remember the time where the subject of his infatuation withering in pain and struggling against desires so much that he stabs himself into the ground to keep himself from straying from his path. The fact that Hua Cheng’s first solution to the statue coming alive is to craft a statue of himself to help relieve the pain proves where his mind is constantly at with Xie Lian.

And finally we had the Birthday chapter. Seeing Xie Lian so set on making Hua Cheng’s Birthday a celebration and get him a gift Hua Cheng would love that also was meaningful was such a show of how much he loves him. The ghosts working with Xie Lian to decorate the city and helping Xie Lian with gift ideas was so sweet - I love seeing Xie Lian interacting with the ghosts. The whole journey of him making a hand crafted gift only to be struck down with intense heart pain was such a sad moment to watch. Him trying to hide his pain from Hua Cheng so it didn’t pull attention away from Hua Cheng’s birthday only for Hua Cheng to carry him away after his collapse just feels like the embodiment of his bad luck. All that work, all that pain, just for Hua Cheng to have to crush the gift to alleviate Xie Lian’s pain. This gave us the sweet moment of Hua Cheng loving that Xie Lian still wants to be by his side, even if it causes him pain.

This book was the easiest 5 star read of the whole series. Seeing everyone’s happy ending and getting the adorable bonus chapter was a satisfying way to wrap up this series.

[astradyke]

Suddenly I need you to write a dissertation on anything!! You're so well spoken <3 since we're getting into a bit of a character (?) study almost on them, I need you to talk about phil's supposed breakdown when dan left him aka went on tour. These two are so codependent it's adorable!! And now in the context of phil incorrectly (but still sweet) explaining to dan the invisible string theory. I can't!!!!! If it wasn't so sweet, it would almost be toxic but I love them!! They're obsessed with each other, only want each other, cannot stand to be separated for more than a day and want us to know it!

i again need to pause and thank you profusely because i am really happy that there is an interest for my little dissertations ^_^ this is the second to last day i have at home before i move back into university so we really need to maximize this time haha

honestly though, i know i say this every time i make a post but i actually don't know how many thoughts i have about this? i dunno... this is going to be messy but, i guess here are some of my thoughts as to why i don't think Dan and Phil are codependent (ft some tangents and affirmations that they are still crazy insane bc you are right and i'm emotional about it)

Dan is leaving me is actually such a masterpiece of a video because it is really like the loudest thing they have ever publicly released, barring the second pizza mukbang video. it's a little ridiculous in concept because like, come on guys, you're in your thirties and you haven't been apart for longer than two weeks? ever? in like a decade? but also like... i don't know! i kind of get it?

one of the aspects of their relationship that Dan specifically really amplifies in interviews (and throughout Dystopia Daily interestingly enough) is the fact that Phil is essentially a part of his everyday routine so much to the point that it's no longer remarkable. it's heard when he describes their relationship as "two 1,000 immortals/ancient divorced couple", or when he says "Phil doesn't count as a person", or when he calls Phil a piece of furniture (can't snag citations right now but if you are unfamiliar with any of these just ask me and i'll find them for you). a lot of these are done snarkily, but it is actually a massive facet of many close relationships: you become so used to each other that your everyday existence is parallel play, and you are so good at communicating that you know how to flow in and out of each other's spaces like it's breathing.

quick little Mare lore drop, let's talk about university! from January to May at the bare minimum, i would spend anywhere from 2-8 hours a day with my best friend (who comes up in these posts way too much i promise that isn't intentional). we'd study together, eat together, hang out together, etc. we were talking about this recently, because i'm actually not the most extroverted person in the world-- i have spent the majority of my time alone this summer by choice-- but i simultaneously spent literally every waking moment with another person in college, aside from when i was asleep and maybe an hour or two in the middle of the day. the last time i FaceTimed him we both spent it playing separate video games and basically not talking for 1-2 hours straight? yet i am exhausted after seeing another very close friend of mine at the mall for like, two hours. how do you reconcile all of that?

the reason why my best friend's company doesn't drain my social battery is because i have embedded being around him so deeply into my routine that my brain doesn't register it as a social event anymore. i could be in a room with him for literally eight hours and only spent about a quarter of that time socializing. and yet, a few days away from going back to university, that reality feels like a total shock to me, because i spend all my time alone-- how the fuck am i going to go back to being with him from three PM to midnight?

well, that's the exact opposite question Dan and Phil had to ask themselves in 2022! the two of them had been so used to each other's company that it really did become part of their daily routines: a post-social event recharge for Dan might not exclude him resting beside Phil, because Phil isn't a Person, he's just Phil who happens to be a person-- Dan's person. Dan playing the Elden Ring DLC involved Phil being there because yes, Dan was the one playing, but Phil's obviously allowed to be there. so, when Dan decides to go off on tour, and the two of them split apart... that's when the question springs up. because suddenly alone time isn't alone time and also Dan's there, it's proper, actual alone time. the things that you forget to do around the house because you know someone else is able to do them shocks you, because it was never a problem to rely on someone before-- Dan was literally always there! etc etc.

and i actually... okay, i love jokes about codependency and sometimes i do look at them (like with parts of Dan is leaving me) and go holy shit you two that's crazy, but i actually don't see this as a codependency thing! it's a pretty massive shock to anyone's system when you live around another person for that long in such a compact space, right? and like they joked about in... shit, i don't remember the video, might have been the wdapteo 3 (?), the two of them were startled to see the other person in the flesh after Dan's long stretch on tour because that is also a massive adjustment! it's kind of a terrifying one to be honest! just like how university life / home life is a distinction for me, home life / WAD life was a distinction for Dan. and i do take note of the fact that this scenario was unfolding while Dan was the one on tour, because I do think we'd see something kind of interesting if it was the other way around-- like, my point holds, but Phil was right in the video when he said that he has lived alone before versus Dan hasn't because as soon as he moved out he found Phil and, well, not even Dan seems to remember when he proper moved in with him versus when he just crashed in his bed for a weekend. tour life gave Dan structure, and i think that overwhelming reset to his system probably helped with the lack of Phil, versus Phil had experienced living alone but didn't have the same routine that led him to handle the shift in company with the same grace. can't fault the guy.

that being said, while i don't think they were codependent exactly in this period of their life, i do think they were still crazy obsessed with each other because like they really cannot go two seconds without calling or texting or saying each other's names it's so funny. i don't really feel comfortable likening anything they have to toxic because i (like all folks here i think) am very very strongly for the idea that really none of it is, they just kind of happen to be a healthy relationship in which both party is convinced they are soulmates and nobody else has ever had a love like theirs. which... cheers, mate. for sure! can't believe Dan and Phil invented romance, should we throw a party, should we invite Joey Graceffa etc etc

anyway! those are my thoughts <3 this is a clusterfuck of a post SORRY i am very sleepy and also between packing 😭 so not as articulate as usual. but i tried!

[koqabear]

okay i wanted to ask, because i see you writing such long fics but i can barely pull myself together to write this bomb-ass 20k word fic, how do approach a fic you know is going to be a long one in a way that you don't feel intimidated by it, or do you still get intimidated by it and just try and push through it?

okay so first off, thank you so much for sending me this ask 😭 you literally forced me to go through my writing process and caused me to make a huge breakthrough with one of my stories alfkgh

anyways, i'll try to be as thorough and clear as i can be with my process, i hope this helps! (but also im so sorry once i started i couldn't stop)

i think my process can be best described with three fics; Only You, Darling (40k), Killer Instinct (37K), and Memories We Made (unfinished but estimated to be over 30k.). With each story, I knew that they were going to be long, but mostly because I went in with the approach that it has to be long in order for the story to be executed right; characters have to be written thoroughly, and there are certain scenes that need to be written for the plot/character to progress-- like, if it's not written in, the story could lose those small details that make the fic feel more... alive, if that makes sense?

The most important part is making an outline! I know that's probably obvious, but outlines can seriously vary; like with OYD and MWM, I have a whole doc dedicated to the fic. I'm gonna show you what a bit of my OYD planning looks like, please don't point out how genuinely unhinged it is 😭😭😭 (so.. spoilers for OYD + fun fact it was gonna be Sunghoon instead of Jaemin in the story originally hehe)

This is an example of what my outlines can look like; but, it only gets like this as i write-- the first pic is my outline filled with things i added as i wrote OYD such as characteristics/important notes/things i wanna edit, and the second pic is what i started out with.

the first thing i do is brainstorm the bare basics of the plot; what kind of story is it, and what do i want to happen in it? you can see that i separated the story into the key plot points/arcs; and within each one, i also put how i wanted them to begin and end. (the numbers are the wc for each arc alskhg)

the hard part comes in when you're filling these arcs/key points in. because now the big question is, how do you get there? for example, during the first act of OYD, i wanted to establish beomjun's relationship with the mc, and end it off by having the two work together. but in order to do that, i decided to include scenes that showed yeonjun's relationship with the mc, and then beomgyu's relationship with her. now that i had the foundation, i allowed the two to interact; that let me establish beomjun's relationship with each other, and let them realize they had a common goal.

last, you add a catalyst (a character, a situation, etc.) that can get you to your end goal; the catalyst being jaemin, which brought the two to work together out of jealousy-- and that's how i was able to fill in that key point.

then i just repeated that process for all arcs! add scenes that elaborate on key points, then add a catalyst that can take you to the end!

another thing i do when plotting for my stories is record myself brainstorming! i let myself ramble and talk about the plot out loud, and that's usually how i run into plot holes/issues. i kinda let myself figure it out in real time, and once i've figured the plot out, i listen back to it and write it down. (i have voice recordings for OYD and MWM. MWM is 48 mins, if that gives you a gist of what i mean by like... brainstorming. and half of it is straight up fucking nonsense. just let out ideas, details about the characters, scenes you'd like to write, anything. it lets you become more familiar and comfortable with your story, if that even makes sense.)

also! whenever i'm writing but get tired and decide to take a break, i add a quick want to add note at the bottom; that's what the weird little spiel up there in the second pic is. it's where i wrote down the ending scene because i had a super specific idea of what i wanted and how i wanted it to happen. if you get any scene ideas like that for your fic, write them down!! there's a chance that you might forget about it/write it differently if you don't; plus, it could even help you add things in that could make the transition into the scene super smooth.

OYD was honestly a bit intimidating for me when i wrote it, because i knew that it had to be extremely detailed and long. that's why i made sure to properly plan things out, that way so i didn't forget anything that could skew the execution. but one of the biggest tips is that you should brainstorm scenes you want to add in each key point, that way you don't feel as intimidated when writing-- because now you have a guide, yk? I'd love to show how my MWM outline looks like, but the fic isn't even out yet 😭 but it's literally a scene-by-scene outline of how i want the story to go! now all i have to do is flesh out the said scenes :)

then there's fics like killer instinct. i went into that with pure vibes, no outline, no planning; more of a mental outline, if anything. so if you find the idea of the whole written outline + scene & key points boring/not for you, i'd still suggest to get the bare basics down; but what i did with killer instinct was that i brainstormed as i went, and added small notes to keep track of important things so i wouldn't screw with continuity-- age and time is pretty important in that story, and i kid you not this is the only thing i had for killer instinct outline wise (bc im not counting my doc of mma notes.)

but for killer instinct, i kinda winged it; i knew what the general plot was, but allowed myself to have fun on how to get there. the only thing i will say though, is that with every scene, you should try to plan out the next one-- like, intro to killer instinct is introducing taegyu, then i'll introduce the mc. then i'll introduce the world and background. and now that i have a foundation, i'll add extra scenes, then a catalyst! this leads into the main conflict, then y'know the rest. but instead of planning it out bit by bit, i kinda let myself go with the flow...? it also let me be a lot less intimidated by the fact that I knew the story would have to be long.

as for the story i had a big breakthrough with, i'm definitely a bit intimidated by it! i know it has to be intricate and emotional and intense, so in order to help with that, i've made playlists to get me in the correct mood, watch shows, read other fics, anything to help me get comfortable with the genre and spark inspiration. I'm currently winging it as well.... but have three key points im sticking to-- it's gonna sound a bit confusing and vague but it's like... add foundation + the male lead is introduced -> background is given to let ppl know motivations and stuff -> final scene. and whenever i run into an issue, i brainstorm and try to get to the root of why im stuck. like, is it plot, the character, or the scene? in this case it was all three so. pray for me.

anyways. i hope this helped and im so sorry if it didn't 😭😭😭 because then that just means u read this painfully messy explanation for nothing. but when writing long fics, pleeeaseee make sure to take your time with it-- if nothing's working, give it time and don't force yourself to write whatever! (mwm has been in my wip for a solid like. year..? but this is a rare case plus im insane)

and if your word count ends up surpassing/being under than what you originally expected, don't panic! (killer instinct was estimated at 20-25k. so.) sometimes certain scenes just aren't necessary, and other times, you find that you may need to elaborate more in order to make things work.

im seriously wishing you luck on your project!! and if you found this somehow did help and have more questions, don't hesitate to ask! oh and if you found something i said confusing (bc i do have the tendency to not make sense) pls lmk and i'll try to clear it up asdglsh 😭

[obaewankenope]

I got caught in the middle of a field once, while horses were chasing each other around being horses trying to establish where the newest one ranked. I was... 10? 11? Somewhere there. If I was alone, I'd have been a lot more panicked and calm in measure because I'd have been able to time it and dive for the fence in the biggest gap among the herd of... I think it was 8 or 9 horses, new one included. The field itself wasn't super huge, probably... 50-75 metres across, maybe a bit smaller (it has been almost 20 years, I'm going off vague Google Maps reference here) and I was in the middle so I could have made that distance quick back then (the pros of being young and also the fastest kid in your primary school at the time).

But.

But I had two other kids with me. They were... I think a year or two younger than me, one of them might have been 7ish, I can't remember exactly, only that they were younger and I was the oldest among us. I wasn't related to these kids, barely knew them or their parents, and we only went together because it was a "hey we've all earned the right to bring our horses in today!! As a treat!" kinda deal.

And, honestly, any other day, it'd have probably been fine. But the matriarch of the herd in the field seemed to have it out for the new horse that day (mine, incidentally, which turned out to be a Good Thing btw).

So the three of us get to the field, we go in because none of the neigh neighs will come to the gate and none of us are Trained Horse Specialists at this point to read that there was a Reason™ for that fact. We get to the middle of the field and we call our respective neigh neighs (mine and theirs, just one other, thankfully), and that's when things Go Wrong.

Matriarch will not accept these lower ranked neighs coming in before her. She will not accept the New Neigh going in before her.

Matriarch must now Teach A Lesson.

Cue a mini stampede of almost ten horses running full speed in this kinda tiny ass field (tbf, they alternated the paddock with the one behind it every fortnight for field management purposes blah blah), and three kids slap-bang in the middle of the field, now trapped.

I am the oldest of us. I am also the youngest of three siblings. I am not the one used to being In Charge of those younger than me. But oh boy did I step into the role like it was made for me.

I keep these kids from howling and running off, grab them with the strongest grip known to man, and make sure they stay with me okay! Stay right next to me! Do NOT run away!

And I watch these horses galloping around, chasing my horse who is so, so smart and so trusting and trustworthy for having only met and bonded with me a few days prior (literally it hadn't even been a week since we got her and she was two and had never been handled before she chose me as Her Human).

I see how she's keeping ahead of the others after her.

I see how she turns on a dime to avoid getting bit and kicked and cornered.

I see how, even though it's harder for her, she doesn't come close to us in the middle, even though it would have been an effective escape route for her several times over.

I see this and I know. I know my girl will not get us hurt if she can help it.

I also know we don't have a lot of time for us to get out and we have to go soon and move fast.

So I keep my iron grip on these two kids whose name I don't even remember (and probably didn't then, I've always been bad with names of people ngl), and I tell them, "when there's a gap, we run for that bit of fence right there okay," and it's directly in front of us, as close as we can safely get without these other 8 or 9 horses trampling us in their herd-mentality race mode.

I watch my girl and I wait for it.

I wait for her to turn when I know she's gonna.

I see the moment she's about to, unable to not turn without getting cut off and caught by the herd.

And when I do, I yell "GO" and I haul these two kids like they're the most precious, durable cargo I've ever held in my eleven years of life over to that bit of fence and I make them drop and role under.

Only the herd is faster than three kids with their inefficient two legs and differences in height and stride.

I get those kids under that fence and I have to drop and roll too because the fence is electric so I can't just grab and yeet over it (fuck but I probably could have but I was eleven and didn't know much about electricity and voltage then, or adrenaline) but I'm out of time.

My girl is all of... Christ, she was probably about five or six feet from me when I turned and saw her. The herd right on her tail.

She was terrified and being chased and running on pure instinct. The whites of her eyes were probably as big as my own were in that moment.

But my girl.

My girl with her amazing paces and even more amazing ability to turn on a single hock and pivot near 270° in a single pace saved me.

She was barely five feet from me when she up and turned and the herd, only a few more feet behind her, had to turn just as sharply to keep following her, only they couldn't because they didn't have her skill apparently.

But those few seconds her turning away from me, very likely risking injuring herself or getting caught if she failed to turn fast enough, was enough for me.

I dropped and rolled under that fence and literal seconds after I cleared it, a stampede of hooves and half-tonne powerhouses galloped past even as they tried to turn in an arc to catch my girl.

I could have left those kids in that field. I was scared, new to horses, and had a whole new responsibility shoved on me in that moment. No one would have blamed me.

My girl could have not turned on a dime, risking herself, to give me a chance. No one would have blamed her.

But I didn't. She didn't.

The things we do to protect the young, even when we're afraid or young ourselves, are the things that make us worth saving. My girl was a hero herself that day, and she saved me whilst I was saving those two kids.

It's not "human nature" to protect others, younger, weaker, needier, or just who we think we can protect in the moment.

It's just "nature".

It's the mark of empathy and by gods am I glad my girl loved me enough already to act the way she did even when terrified herself and wanting someone to protect her too.

I was rambling on the issue of museums and human remains and how certain populations are more likely to have their bodies put on display to be gawked at and then went "well I guess the Pompeii casts were of Europeans. there are bones in there right?" and Googled it to make sure, at which point I confirmed that yes there are bones in there, but more interestingly DNA testing revealed that a cast of an adult holding a child everyone assumed was a mother and child were, in fact, a man and a kid entirely unrelated to him. Honestly that's more moving to me. Maybe they were connected in a way other than blood, but maybe a stranger saw a child when the world was ending and thought the one thing he could do was hold them.