#we will somehow manage to both get the same wrong answer without communicating.... talent

[chqnified]

Just found out one of my irl friends listens to kpop but not skz. I have my next mission.

But it's lowkey funny bc we stan different groups, so it's the trading of info dumping and screaming to each other about our faves lmao.

The mistake she made? Saying i could send her as many kpop videos/content i wanted for her to watch...

That's the random life information nobody asked for today.

[levinneheart]

Never loved you

Shinsou Hitoshi x Reader (College AU)

Warning/s: Characters are 20+; slight IzuOcha ship; Fluff; Angst; implied Depression; may or may not been based on experience

And yes, the title is a Song by Evie Clair. You’re quirk is smth to do w/ Empath and it’s not hero material by norms.

You never expect to encounter him. Out of all the people you could’ve met, you didn’t believe you that you could met him online out of all the places.

It started when you became friends with a group of talented singers and musicians as you also joined into the fun – abeit not as talented as them, you tried your best and put your all into it. Not long after that, you began knowing the group which consists of all the previous students of Class 1-A and some other students of UA and soon, Mina invited you to join their group as an “honorary member” as you lived in another country which you gladly accepted.

Sometimes, you would join the voice call and be overwhelmed by the amount of voices blasting in your earphone. Sometimes, you would listen silently as everyone talked over each other while Bakugou screamed and make small explosions that literally makes everyone deaf. Rip earphone users. You loved and treasured these moments with them, although you didn’t know what they looked like.

It wasn’t until he joined that made you the happiest. You were currently teasing Midoriya and Uraraka, saying they were cute crushing on each other, much to Uraraka’s denial and Midoriya’s stuttering. Chuckling, you continue with your impromptu storytelling of their love blossoming until both of them are beyond speechless. You decided to stop when Bakugou joined the conversation.

��Yo, Mina invited other damn extra!” he informed in his usual loud voice.

“Kaachan, you shouldn’t talk to Shinsou like that! He’s listening you know!” Midoriya scolded softly.

You checked and someone was listening in, they had a cat picture as a profile pic and you couldn’t helped but smack yourself in embarrassment as you didn’t noticed earlier while Bakugou and Midoriya beefed it out in the voice chat. You muted them, not wanting to hear they’re yelling of being the no. 1 hero.

“I agree with you btw.” chatted the one with cat pic. “It’s so obvious, it makes me roll my eyes that they remain oblivious to each other’s feelings.”

“IKR!” You typed back, forgetting your embarrassment.

“You’re not from UA, are you?”

“No. Actually, I’m just an honorary member as Mina says since I live miles away haha.”

“I see. I’m Shinsou, Shinsou Hitoshi btw.”

“(l/n) (f/n)! Nice to meet’cha!”

You didn’t know how it happened but you felt an instant connection to him and you two hitted it off from then. You two would always chat in your private message and it quickly became unnoticed by the others, they even started to ship is and make an official name for the ship. You played oblivious as did he, although both of you already know about it.

After two weeks, he called you bb and you couldn’t helped but blush before awkwardly telling him: you really really liked him. At first, he didn’t say anything so you were half-expecting him to reject you and that’ll be it. But surprised, he told you: he liked you back. However you both decided that it’s too early for a relationship so you two now have a peace of mind that at least the other feels the same way.

It was fun, interacting with him, sending him uwus and heart memes, etc. You learned that he’s working as a pro hero while you studied in university. You learned he’s a gamer who sings, plays the guitar and ukulele ngl i can honesty see this as canon. And he plays basketball and soccer just pretend sksksksksk.

You two would schedule voice calls as you both were busy, it would always play out as – you would come home late and wait for him to get out of work as you two chatted away before actually getting in the call once he’s home. You would usually ask about he’s day and about his job and he’d reply with his usual deep tired voice that you’ve grown to love curses my deep voice kink.

This went for two months. Until one night while you were staying up late studying, he chatted your name. This was the first time he called you by your real name, usually he would call you by your username or “bb” as usual so this sudden change set butterflies in your stomach.

“Yes, Toshi?” you replied before teasingly sent, “This is the 1st time you called me by my name haha.”

“I wanted to tell you something important so I thought it’d catch your attention.”

“Well, what is it?”

“I love you.”

Without thinking you typed, “I love you too.” and sent it before realizing what he meant. “Do you meant that as a friend?” You immediately sent.

“Do you want me to say that?”

You blushed hard, you can imagine him chuckling at your stupid question. “Uhhh no??? Idk??? You’re not joking, right??”

“I wouldn’t have said it, if I didn’t mean it.”

“Really?” You couldn’t believe it so you just had to ask.

“Yes.”

“Tell it to me again plz 🥺👉👈.”

“I love you, (y/n).”

“I love you too, Toshi.”

“In advance, I’m so sorry for being a weirdo.”

“But you’re my weirdo.”

Cue squealing. But after that, it went spiraling down. A month and a week went by without communication from him; no updates, no greetings, no nothing. You decided to confront him about your concerns. You understand that he’s busy at work and you were always supportive and understanding at his job were his top priority.

But couldn’t he at least spare you a few minutes of his free time, maybe when he woke up or during his breaks. You didn’t ask for more so you were slightly disappointed with him as it worried you that he worked 6am-2am everday without holiday breaks besides Nov.1-2.

You voiced those concerns to him, he apologized and you forgave him. But this behavior of his continued on and this made you sad, other would say you’re depressed but you were too occupied with thoughts of him; his voice; the feeling he gave you, etc.

For another month and three days, you confront him again but this time he left your pm and blocked you. You panicked as negative thoughts flooding your mind.

Did you do anything wrong? You weren’t too clingy, right? Your chat wasn’t too honest, right?

You somehow managed to calm your mind after a couple of minutes and through logical evaluation and elimination, you concluded that you didn’t do anything wrong. But the questions remain: Why did he leave? Why did he blocked you?

For the longest time, you couldn’t answer that. You spend your time drifting off from reality and to your memories with Toshi while day-by-by you lessen your interactions with your online friends, seemingly just vanishing from thin air.

You felt empty, a void of loneliness filled you as you went your way through your own life, not knowing what to do with yourself or even feel. Why did it come to this? Everything went fine, you two were happy so why? Why did he suddenly leave you all alone like that?

———————————————————————

Today was the reunion of UA batch [number]. Shinsou stood in the far corner of the Gym Gamma, his back leaning against the wall as he observed everyone and everything. He noticed an unfamiliar yet familiar (h/c) locks, he watch as you talked with Sero, Tokoyami, Shouji, and Ojirou. You were especially close to Ojirou, you practically by his side with your arm linked with his.

He didn’t know why he was growing irritated and angry at sight of you being in someone else’s arms when he damn well know that you deserve to move on after what he’d done to you after all those three years but still… He had hoped that you actually waited for him.

You were suddenly called by Kirishima as you leaned towards Ojirou and whispered a soft ‘see you’ before walking towards to him.

“(Y/n)-chan! I want you to meet someone!” He said as he dragged you towards where a lone lavender haired man stood before running away. You opened your mouth to objects but it was already too late, he was gone. You looked at the stranger and felt that same connection when you met him, you knew. Although not having to see his face, you just knew that it was him: Shinsou.

“(L/n) (f/n)! Nice to meet’cha!” You cheered brightly, just like when you first introduced yourself to him.

“I know.” he replied. “I’m Shinsou Hitoshi.” God, why I am so lame. He thought.

“Oh! Nice to finally and officially meet you, Shinsou-san!” You smiled as you raised your glass towards him.

Why did you have to call him like a stranger? And not the usual ‘Toshi’ you would always call him?

He clicked his glass with yours and took a sip as his eyes spotted a shiny accessory on your ring finger, making his heart froze. That’s why. You were engaged. Of course, why wouldn’t you be? You were ever so patient, understanding and supportive. It didn’t even surprise him.

When you finished you glass, you excused yourself as Jirou announces the last song for tonight that is written by the guess before she yelled out your name and you climbed up the stage.

“Love do you know?

We've been growing apart

And you should know

That for me that's hard

Darling I'm scared if I let you go, oh

This will be goodbye for good

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

‘I never loved you’

And I won't say

That I knew it from the start

So you can say

That we weren't torn apart

'Cause for me, oh it's easier to bleed, oh

When I know you can sleep so I keep telling myself

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

I feel numb when the drums slow down

Oh, leave me dumb so I can't tell myself

Myself, oh

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

I already know that it just isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

‘I never loved you’.”

Part 2, maybe???

[letsbenditlikebennett]

New Face, Who Dis? || Ariana, Bea, Celeste, Nell, & Ulfric

TIMING: A few weeks ago.  PARTIES: @big-bad-ulf @nelllraiser @beatrice-blaze @celestelavie @letsbenditlikebennett SUMMARY: Luce recommends her sisters to Ulf to help get the Bennett sisters set up with some glamours. 

When it came down to times of panic, Ariana found herself kind of amazed with how the supernatural community came together. The Vural sisters seemed like a really nice bunch and she was looking forward to meeting them in person. She’d met Luce while working on Ulfric’s birthday gift, but Nell seemed like a whole lot of fun. Really a girl after her own heart and she was being kind enough to help keep them protected through some straight up hunter nonsense. The Vural house was nice, too. Bea and Nell had a spread of snacks all set up. “Thank you guys so much for doing this.” Celeste had taken out Ariana’s bracelet and her own ring and handed them over to Bea, “Yes, thank you both, I can assure you that your secret is safe with us.” 

Defences of the mystical variety were completely out of Ulfric’s realm of expertise. As he intended, having been raised to respect magic users but keep them at a distance. It was best not the mess with the kind of person who could transform you from a beast at the top of the food chain to a pathetic, squirming creature on the bottom. Even despite growing fond of Luce, he had always been careful not to question her about spellcasting. He knew Ariana’s predicament couldn’t be solved with fangs and claws though. At least, not yet, and the Vurals were the only witches in town he knew that might help him. “You’re doing us a great favour,” He echoed the Bennetts’ sentiment to Bea, who’d surprised him with her willingness to jump in and help without protest when they’d spoken online. Nell’s probing was a reaction he understood better. “I’m sorry if I was evasive,” he addressed the younger sister, “I suppose I’m just used to handling these things myself. Didn’t want to drag anyone else in too deep.”

Nell put her hand out to Bea, a wordless signal that she wanted a look at the pieces of jewelry after her old sister was done with them. She’d been surprised when Ariana had turned out to be the one that needed hiding, finding it conveniently coincidental that they’d already been messaging and getting on better than a house on fire. “Of course,” Nell simply said when it came to favors and helping out. “We wouldn’t leave you to fend for yourselves in such a shitty situation. And we’ll make sure no one hears about your secret as well, for sure.” Then she looked at Ulfric simply giving him a little shrug and hoping there were no hard feelings. “No, I understand. I’d probably be the same if the roles were reversed. But also let us know if you ever need any further help with this uh- situation. I don’t mind getting into things.” After all, getting into things was exactly what she’d been doing for the past five years while she traveled. Nell was more business in a time like this, wanting to make sure everything went as perfectly as possible. “Did everyone have the snacks they wanted?” she said with a slight air of a tease, as if that were the most important part of this meet-up. “There won’t be time to get them once the spell starts.” Not that it was a particularly long spell.

It had been easy for Bea to jump in to help, after all, Luce knew Ulfric and she trusted her sister to make that call. Anyone Luce trusted to know she was a witch was someone Bea felt she could work with. She couldn’t go so far and say she trusted them, but she was willing to help. Especially since Luce had information on Ulfric, it felt like a security net for the family. “This is a bit of an exchange of secrets, so I think we all agree that not mentioning anything to anyone else is the safest bet,” Bea told the group brightly. Even with a witch hunter around town it was harder to be other supernaturals and Bea knew this. “Spellcasters are pulled into plenty of things for our skills, don’t worry about that.” The spell should happen soon, give them time to make sure it worked before they left. She didn’t want to give them anything below perfect. Passing the pieces of jewelry over to Nell, she watched her sister. “These look good to me?”

While she had seen Winston explode a vampire watermelon that one time, Ariana hadn’t really witnessed an actual spell being cast. After talking with Nell a bit online, she had no doubt the girl was a badass, but magic in general just had a certain raw power to it with how endless the possibilities could be. It’d definitely be cool as hell to watch how that worked. She admittedly had very little knowledge about magic and spells, so today would be educational and helpful. “Definitely all good in the snack department. Thanks for those, too,” she answered with a slight laugh. This meeting would probably be more fun and a lot less complicated if it was a snack meet and greet. She watched as they examined the jewelry, she was glad her favorite charm bracelet she always wore would do the trick. It had a variety of different charms on there that Celeste had gotten her as gifts throughout the years, her favorite being the little wolf charm. She could feel herself being a little bouncy on her feet, ready to see how this whole protection charm thing worked. Celeste added, “Even so, we appreciate you helping with our situation.” She wasn’t used to having quite so much back up when it came to getting away from her parents. She could only hope this meant she could be rid of them once and for all. It’d be nice to live without worrying about your own parents trying to off you.

“I’ll let you know if I ever need to call in the cavalry, Luce is itching to put those swords to use, I’m sure.” Ulfric joked with Nell. While he certainly hoped he wouldn’t have to take her up on her offer, it was good to have allies with unique sets of skills. “I understand that, my family used to be pulled into a lot of other people’s battles, because of our talents.” He told Bea, not mentioning that those battles had been fought on behalf of kings and warlords, back when the kind of raw power his ancestors wielded commanded respect rather than just fear. He considered declining the snacks his hosts offered, but he was hungry, the two teenagers living with him while both small somehow managed to clear out his fridge and pantry with alarming speed. He eventually settled on taking a small stack of ham sandwiches, deciding it would be ruder to leave the spread uneaten. Besides, he didn’t have to worry about magic upsetting his stomach, if that was a thing, since he wasn’t going under the smell. “This will do fine, don’t worry about me,” he assured the witches as he reduced the sandwich to half its size in a single bite. “I’m just here for…” He didn’t want to say moral support, when it could undermine how well Ariana had been holding herself together through all of this and Celeste’s feelings were a low priority considering she was the one who’d gotten the young wolf into this situation. “Because I knew where to find you. And because I wanted to make sure this was safe. It is safe right?” He looked between the two witches, trying to mask his genuine concern with a mask of flippancy. “No risk of faces disappearing or disintegrating or the like?”

Nell considered the pieces for a few moments, hefting them in her hand before doing a couple of little, not particularly showy spells on them to validate that they’d do the trick. “I like them,” she simply said with a grin. “And they’re cute too so- bonus.” Grabbing a last cookie, she ate the thing practically whole before heading over to the casting area her and Bea had prepared before everyone arrived, and looked over her shoulder to Ulfric. “You know- you could help if you wanted, to. I was planning on having Ariana and Celeste helping too, in their own way. Even if you don’t have magic- intentions can be a powerful thing. And generally the more intentions, the merrier. As long as all our intentions align.” She didn’t hesitate to nod in response to his question, though— going so far as to wave a dismissive hand in his general direction, as if this weren’t anything. “Oh no- it’s definitely safe! And if it’s gonna backfire on anyone it’s gonna be either me and Bea so- you’re all good! Not that it will. I’ve done this exact thing once before under a lot more pressure, and it turned out great!” At least Blanche wasn’t here to throw tins of coins at anyone’s head this time, and Remmy wasn’t cowering in the corner of a bathroom being told that a Hunter was coming after them.

Bea considered Ulfric for a moment, she didn’t know what he was, she wouldn’t ask either, but to be pulled into things must mean he had power. She didn’t need to ask what he was, she didn’t like knowing because then if someone asked she’d have to lie. She hung out with too many Hunters to ask about other people’s supernatural inclination. She had known about Ariana and Celeste, Nell had mentioned it in passing before they came over. Their whole relationship was interesting, a Hunter and werewolf. Though, at this point she shouldn’t be shocked by the Hunters in this town anymore. “Backfiring usually happens because someone breaks concentration or says the words wrong and with a spell like this, it won’t be too dangerous. Nellie and I might be wandering around with a few funny glamours on for a few days, but we won’t get injured. Most likely, anyway.” She had had much more intense spells backfire on her and wasn’t at all worried about what could happen if this one did. “Alrighty, if you guys come around the circle, we can start soon?” The sooner they got this done, the safer these two would be walking around in town. She felt for them, knowing she would be desperate for a solution if she had been in their position. “Once we get it done, we can teach you how it works and how maintenance goes.”

Ariana was fascinated by the fact this was something they could all help with. She really didn’t know much about magic and how it worked. In theory, it all sounded totally awesome, but a little over her head. She watched Nell somewhat incredulously as she explained how that would work. Intentions, seemed easy enough, they all wanted the same thing. With a nod, she said, “That’s cool, I didn’t realize we could help… given I don’t know all that much about magic.” As Ulfric questioned safety, she looked to him curiously. She had no doubt he knew more about this stuff than she did and he was always looking out for her. As shitty as this whole situation was, she had to appreciate how quick Ulf had been to step in and make the whole thing seem more manageable. Hell, he even set up this whole meeting which definitely more effective than panic dying your hair. She followed Bea over to the circle, eager to see how this whole thing worked. “That sounds good to me. I’ve never seen something like this done before. Do I just sort of… think of what we want to come from this? That makes sense, right?” Celeste gave Ariana’s hand a light squeeze as she joined in the circle. With the reassurance that this was in fact safe, Celeste felt ready to move on with the spell. “It sounds like you two know what you’re doing. Just let us know how we can help and we will.”

“Well, it’s better to be safe than sorry,” Ulfric shrugged, the relief that this process wasn’t going to cause any physical harm to either the Bennetts or Vurals outweighing the slight twinge of embarrassment that came with his ignorance on the matter. “My intention is to keep both of them out of harm’s way if that’s what you mean?” he cautiously informed the witches as he nodded to Ariana to encourage her to take her place in the circle. “Or do you just mean focussing on what we want the disguise to look like?” He added, nodding along to Ariana’s sensible questions before taking his own place in the circle. “Just tell me what I can do,” he looked between Bea and Nell, pushing the strange feeling of not being the most powerful person in the room, at least not where it counted in this moment, aside as he knew their was much more at stake than his pride. “We’re all in this together.” Sparing a glance towards Celeste he silently added, Whether we like it or not.

Nell nodded, encouraging that line of thinking. “Yeah! It’s like- magic always needs...a guide, you know? And even if you can’t reach out and guide those forces directly, like spellcasters can- your intentions can help push it along, help make it into...the right shape.” It was always hard to put magic into words, especially when talking to those who might not have the most experience with it. It always seemed to be eluding her grasp, not entirely knowing how to put words to something that she felt so instinctively, that had been there for her entire life. “As for the intentions, it’s good to make sure you don’t use more like...wishy-washy words like hope or wish. We want them to be concrete, and firm, pushing them into existence rather than merely suggesting them. And yeah! Keeping them out of harm’s way is a good intention, or simply keeping them disguised. But less about the specifics of what they might look like.” Nell nodded, though looking to Bea to make sure her sister was ready before getting ready for the magic. “Alright- if everyone would join hands,” she said, linking up with the two closest to herself.

There was always a feeling of pride that came over Bea when she saw her sisters doing something well and this, somehow, was something Nell was excelling at. “When I do spells like this, I like to imagine that the feeling is in my chest, it feels the most powerful there for me. Find that place for you.” She placed the jewelry in the center of the circle, crouching down to light the candles in a specific order. Taking the hands of the two next to her, she sent a reassuring smile to those around the circle. “I promise it’s less intense than it seems. It’ll be over in a flash.”

Ariana nodded along as Bea and Nell explained how the whole intention thing worked. It seemed easy enough because she was sure them being safe and disguised was something all of them wanted. Even Ulfric and Celeste seemed to get along well enough though she didn’t see any matching best friends bracelets in their future. She looked between Celeste and Ulfric. Having them both there made her feel a little more at ease with this whole situation. Plus, magical help had to be a bonus Celeste’s parents wouldn’t be expecting.  “We are in this together. Let’s do this then,” she said as she tried to figure out what to do with her hands, “Do we like all hold hands or is that just a thing they do on TV for dramatic effect or whatever?”

When Ulfric had taken his place in the circle it had seemed logical to let Ariana and Celeste to sit together across from the witches, so he’d be as out of the way as possible and the spell could easily be directed towards his true targets. But he immediately regretted that decision as soon as he realized it meant he was expected to hold hands with the former hunter seated closest to him. He glanced between Bea and Nell imploringly, in the hopes that wasn’t the case, but they were dashed when he saw the Vurals already reaching out either side of them. It would clearly be a faux pas not to follow suit, and as much he wanted to get up and switch places, he couldn’t bring himself to let Celeste laud the victory of him doing something that petty to avoid her over his head. “Seems like we have to,” he answered Ariana, taking Bea’s hand and looking everywhere but Celeste as he begrudgingly took hers as well. Positive intentions, he reminded himself forcing the tension out of his body even as her warm skin seemed to burn into his, branding it so that other wolves, the spirits of his ancestors, even the goddess Diana herself would know that he was compromised. “Let’s get this over with,” he sighed. “Please.”

Once all their hands were joined, Nell began her chant, the Latin words flowing off her tongue as easily as anything else might. She went on for a couple rounds of it in tandem with Bea, the sound of their words filling until it was almost like surround sound, enveloping the small circle within the spell. Finally, Nell’s lips stop moving, but her voice could still be heard with Bea’s flowing around the circle, keeping the chant even now. “Keep thinking your intentions,” she breathed before drawing a blade from her side, using it to slice a thin line along her forearm, joining the many other blood magic scars she had there. She let some of it drop into the bowl with the jewelry, a flash of golden light brewing there as the pieces seemed to pulse. And even though her hands had parted from those she’d been holding for the beginning of the spell, there was still something that looked to be two, shimmering ghost hands where her’s had been before, maintaining the link. “Now you two,” she said calmly, already having explained to Ariana and Celeste that they’d need to make a small offering as well in the form of blood to bring them closer to the magic. “Just a drop, it’ll be alright. I can help you do it, or you can do it yourself. Just make sure it falls into the bowl.”

If she didn’t live with him, Celeste would be slightly more amused by the fact Ulfric seemed very unhappy about having to hold her hand. It’s not like she could really blame him, just based on what they were, they were meant to be at odds. Even if trust was building between them, she wasn’t sure he’d ever truly accept what she was. At the moment, that hardly mattered. She gave Ariana’s hand a gentle squeeze and lightly held Ulfric’s doing her best to think of the desired outcome of this spell. Keep them safe and unrecognized. Give them the advantage for if her parents arrived. Before she knew it, Nell was passing the blade to her. With a deep breath, she removed her hands from Ulf’s and Ari’s and made a small cut on her forearm, letting it drip into the bowl. “Is that good,” she quietly asked before handing the blade to Ariana who quickly followed suit. Her mind had been on keeping all of them safe and she nervously took the blade to her arm. It didn’t hurt, but she’d never done anything like this before. She relaxed when she realized it didn’t hurt and she watched the blood drip into the bowl, waiting for further direction from Nell.

“Carefully,” Ulfric implored Ariana, wincing as the blade sliced into her flesh, as minor as the wound was. He looked between the sisters again questioningly, bloodletting seemed a little intense for a spell that was supposed to be harmless, but then again he supposed asking whatever mystical forces the Vurals called upon for an illusion that defied the sense wasn’t a simple favour. “What’s next?” he asked Nell, clearing his mind of doubts before they could take root and muddy his intentions.

As Ariana and Celeste’s blood fell into the bowl and onto the jewelry, they almost seemed to shine with a golden light, appearing to pulse steadily as the magic took its next step.“It’s perfect,” Nell said in an approving tone with a smile before returning to the center of the circle with the pieces. Picking up a piece of fluorescent pink herb from the table, she spoke a few more words over it before tossing the last piece in, and in a bright flash of light, the pieces of the spell— blood and plant, had vanished into seemingly thin air, leaving the unsuspecting pieces of jewelry behind. “Alright,” Nell began, releasing her magic. “It’s done.” Then she was handing the jewelry back to the sisters. “You all did great! Just remember though, you have to recharge them with a small sacrifice of blood when they get low. Otherwise they’ll start to fail.”

Bea understood the importance of blood magic, but always felt odd working with it in these mundane manners. She knew that it could do so much more could be done with it, necromancy was just a form of blood magic after all. Fishing out little bandages from her pocket she passed them around the group,”I’d offer to heal you but some people said when I heal them it gets too hot for comfort.” She struggled to control her fire when she healed and it had never interested her enough to learn to be better. “Time to put them on and see what they do. If it works well for what you all need.” She was confident in the spell, but people get picky about how they looked after things like this.

Ariana gave Ulfric a reassuring grin to assure him that the blade hardly hurt. The way he always seemed to look out for her gave her a warm feeling. Her attention turned back to Nell as she explained the process of recharging the jewelry. She nodded along, in awe at how the blood and herbs just disappeared from the bowl. She reached her hand out for her bracelet. “May I,” she asked, waiting for confirmation before grabbing it. She put it on and looked at Celeste. “How do I look?” Celeste let out a chuckle, “A little taller.” She looked over her own ring and slid it on. She didn’t feel different but she could guess by the look on Ariana’s face that it had in fact did something. With a laugh, Ariana said, “You look like you could be Ulf’s sister.” She gave her sister a confused look knowing that Ulfric probably didn’t love that idea.

“Hmm, I suppose that might make a convenient excuse if I need to explain your presence,” Ulfric replied practically, shrugging off any residual hurt the comment brought up. Which might have been harder had her statement been more accurate, but Celeste’s new guise didn’t resemble either his older or younger sister much beyond the auburn hair. She didn’t look nearly disappointed enough in him to be Gwen and he’d never seen Hild grown up, so he couldn’t really compare. “Just don’t you go letting your ego run wild now you’ve gone up in the world.” He joked with Ariana as he stood up from the circle to avoid lingering on that thought. At his full height, he still towered over the young girl and it was amusing to see her excited over such a small gain in stature. “Thank you, both of you,” he offered both Bea and Nell his hand to shake in turn. “I’m in your debt. If you ever need help tracking something down, or just in need of muscle, I’d be happy to help.”

Nell looked over the glamorous with a scrutinizing eye, trying to make sure there were no holes or otherwise poking through, anything that might reveal who it was that truly lay beneath. “You two look great,” she offered with a somewhat amused smile, not entirely unaware of the strange dynamic between Ulfric and Celeste just from watching everything. “Don’t listen to him,” she told Ariana. “You’re unstoppable now. The world won’t even know what to do with a taller you.” As for the thanks, Nell simply nodded with a more earnest smile, glad that she could help keep the two girls safe. “I’ll definitely let you know if anything comes up, thanks,” she said as she reached out to shake the man’s hand.

It was funny seeing them look so different, but that was the thing Bea loved about magic, it happened so quickly. One moment they look like their normal selves and the next they were someone completely different. “Both look lovely. Tall suits you,” She teased Ariana with a small smile. “It was a pleasure to help and you can let us know if you ever need us again,” She told the group warmly before nodding to Ulf. “Hopefully we won’t ever be in that much trouble that we’ll need your muscle, but thank you. If it ever comes up, you’ll be at the top of the list!”

[justjessame]

A Little Ass and A Lotta Sass Chapter 16:  More Than A Pretty Face...Didn't I TRY to Tell Him That?!

Negan hadn’t lied about being able and more than willing to press his mouth tight against me and spend hours enjoying me, giving me pleasure, and most certainly short circuiting my damn brain again. Can oral sex be an art form? Because I fucking swear to his unholy father, Negan was the Michelangelo of fucking cunnilingus. Maybe that’s a trait he got from Satan? Perhaps his daddy gifts his children with all the tempting sexual arts, which, to tell you the truth had me reconsidering my negativity about Negan’s parentage. And would explain why I imagined Hell to be populated with only the very best people. Or at least now I did.

And he took every attempt made by me, swearing I’d had enough, that I couldn’t possibly survive another swipe of his tongue, suck of his mouth, or dear fucking God the nibbling of his teeth, as a fucking challenge to prove me wrong. Our sheets were soaked, not by my own fluids, not those kinds of fluids anyway, but by the sweat that poured off of me. That man, with just his fucking mouth, made me sweat like I’d run miles without rest.

When he FINALLY decided that I’d had enough, he rested his chin on my lower stomach. His eyes locked on mine when I regained the ability to open them and focus. That fucking smile. Those fucking dimples. Satan must be so fucking proud.

“I think if you’re going to make this a regular fucking deal,” I managed to choke out, my throat so dry that I’d happy try drinking vinegar or half the fucking ocean on the off chance it would give me relief. “Then I’m going to need more than fucking salads to survive.”

He laughed, hopping up from our bed as though he hadn’t done enough oral exercise to develop a bad case of fucking lock jaw, and jogged to a small fridge I hadn’t noticed to grab a bottle of water for me. He opened it and then handed it to me, watching to see if I could hold it in my still shaking hand. I managed to NOT spill the entire thing on me, but a few drops met the bare part of my chest peeking out from the loose shirt I’d worn to the doctor.

I looked up to see him mesmerized by those drops and their path down my chest. I handed him the bottle back, watching him take his own long drink. Ha, I thought, thirst work wasn’t it? And then, capping it and placing it down on the nightstand, I watched as he almost fought against himself.

“Negan?” I managed to bring his gaze back to my face. “It seems like, well, your mouth is fucking AMAZING,” I couldn’t hold back a small moan at the mere thought of what he’d done to me. “But I think I want something a tad bigger than your tongue.” I reached for him, and he sighed, finally getting to follow those fucking water drops to where he’d seen them roll off to.

 By the time the next knock was heard, we were laying facing one another, just resting. I wondered if we’d ever get tired of it, the pull that our bodies seemed to have for one another. I didn’t think I spoke out loud, but he answered me anyway.

“Never.” He kissed me gently, and smiled with a certainty that made me wonder if Satan also gave him a gift for seeing the future. “I will never get enough of you, Callie Grimes. Ever.”

I chuckled. Touching his skin with my fingertips, feeling a rush that I knew he felt too. “Never? Ever?” He shook his head, taking my hand in his and linking our fingers.

“Nope. You’re stuck with me, sweetheart, fucking FOREVER.” He was leaning in for another kiss when the knock came. Sated, he wasn’t as irritable as when our lunch showed up. He groaned and tossed on his jeans after rolling off the bed. I started to follow, but he waved me off. “Don’t you dare move.” I looked up and he was grinning. “Think we’ve both fucking earned dinner in bed, princess, don’t you?” With a wink he went to retrieve whatever meal the doctor thought best for me and our little nightmare.

 It was more filling. More meat, more starch, more tasty. And I once again noticed that he’d had the exact same meal made for him. I wondered if the entire fucking Sanctuary was on my prenatal diet. I almost asked, but honestly, I’d had enough fucking weirdness with the whole kneeling thing, that hearing that what was good enough for Satan’s grand-baby was good enough for everyone would have sent me barking mad.

Sitting in our bed, my back against the headboard, which he also cushioned with the pillows that I fucking loved and him across from me, still wearing his jeans, but shirtless we ate and chatted. Well, I thought we were just chatting before I noticed that he was asking me questions to finally get to know me, well more about me.

“You went to college?” It wasn’t in the tone of ‘you know how to spell your name’ condescending, but actual interest.

I nodded, chewing the bite I’d just taken and swallowing before giving more information. “Yeah, full ride to Agnes Scott.” His eyebrows rose, so he knew of it. “I told you I have thoughts running around my belfry.”

“No shit.” He took his own bite and I wondered, if he was asking questions to learn more about me, then why not go along and get more to go on with him.

“What did you do before?” I gestured all around, so he’d get the idea.

Taking time to chew and swallow, he grinned. “Guess.”

I let my head fall back to study him. What would Negan have done prior to the world going asshole over teacups? Biker club president would be an easy guess, but I’d learned early that Negan wasn’t easy or simple, at least anywhere I wasn’t concerned. Another guess would be police or corrections, but Dad had been a sheriff’s deputy and somehow I didn’t see Negan following orders or the code of anything without chafing. Negan liked to be in charge. He liked to be the one who made the rules, and he was more than ready to enforce them.

“Were you a teacher of some sort?” His grin urged me on. What class would Negan teach, my eyes fell on Lucille propped up against the night stand, within reach. “Physical education, right?”

He nodded, his grin growing with his chuckle. “How the hell did you guess?” He had stopped eating, and so had I, clearly enjoying our new game.

“It’s what I had started studying, human behavior, psychology.” I shrugged. “It was something my guidance counselor suggested, because of, well I have a natural aptitude, I guess.” I looked down at my plate, but felt too full to eat more.

“That explains,” he stopped clearly thinking about something that he knew that I didn’t. He took a few more bites from his own plate, then his eyes focused on mine. “You need to finish that.” Ah, an order, how lovely.

“I’m full.” I answered, not willing to go to the ‘obey’ part of whatever this relationship was, no matter what hitchhiker I was sharing my body with. I pushed the plate to the side and let my legs stretch out.

Negan eyed me, considering I’m sure whether it was worth the argument. He finished his food and I asked the obvious question. “What does my God-given talent explain?”

His eyes met mine as he swallowed his final bite. “My first visit to Alexandria. We didn’t just take guns and beds. We didn’t just bring back medications. One of my guys found a camcorder.”

I closed my eyes. Fucking shit. Damn Deanna. “Ah.” Was all I could manage.

“Your answers, they played right into what whoever was recording expected.” I opened my eyes to see him studying me with new interest, interest that had nothing to do with my lack of clothing for once. “You knew precisely what to say to make that person trust you, trust Rick, trust your group.” There was a shrewd look in his eyes and I smirked. “How?”

And so I explained to him what my little weird trick or intuition told me. How to work through a person’s ideals, their expectations, based solely on behavioral cues. On the way a person carried themselves, and in the people or community surrounding them.

“It’s hard as hell to teach, apparently, for anyone who doesn’t have the knee gut reaction, I guess it’s called.” I brushed the wording off. “But if you do, then it’s as easy as opening a book and finding out some of the secrets. I can’t mindread, or whatever, but I can usually tell if someone is trustworthy, or if they’re lying.”

He bit his lip, but I could see the wheels turning in his mind. “Huh, well aren’t you just full of surprises?” He smiled at me and I felt my heart thump an extra beat. His pushed his plate away to join mine, then he was hovering over me again, hungry for more dessert I could see.

[secret-engima]

Snippet of There is No “Us” in Number One Chap 4

(A wild AU drama has appeared! Also, tagging @wolfsrainrules @north-peach @suolainensilakka cause this might interest ya’ll)

     “So what you’re saying is-” Toshinori stopped mid-sentence, head tilting to listen to something else.

     Naomasa stiffened subtly at Toshinori’s freeze, eyes drinking in their surroundings for a threat, “What’s wrong, Toshi?”

     A shriek and an explosion echoed several blocks down, followed by loud, angry yelling. Toshinori felt his shoulders relax in an exasperated sigh even as Naomasa’s hand went for the gun hidden under his shirt, “Villains-!”

     Toshinori shook his head and placed a bony hand on his friend’s to keep him calm, “No. It’s fine. I know who that is. Come on, I should probably break it up before the neighbors start complaining again.” He took off for the sounds at a light jog, Naomasa following behind and radiating incredulous disbelief.

     More explosions sounded along with more cursing and a feral shriek that Toshinori knew from experience was a challenge. Naomasa felt like a tight wire at Toshinori’s back, no doubt imagining the worst, but any comment he might have made over Toshinori’s lack of alarm faded when he saw that everyone else in the area was the same way. The pedestrians were all calm, having relaxed as soon as they heard the animal shriek, and several were even rolling their eyes. An older man complained as Toshinori passed, “You still haven’t taught those boys of yours to be quieter? I swear it’s like living next to a warzone whenever those two get going.”

     Naomasa gave a high pitched, strangled noise at the man’s remark of “your boys”, but Toshinori just laughed apologetically and murmured, “I know, Abe-san, I’m working on it.” Abe-san sniffed officiously but if he intended to make another comment, Toshinori was already too far away to hear it.

     The sound of explosions, yelling, and draconic roars led Toshinori in the direction of the neighborhood park and he allowed himself another sigh. He had a feeling he knew exactly what was going on. He’d had two years to learn the routine around here after all. Naomasa still seemed to be having trouble processing the events though, as he broke his tight silence to demand, “You have children, Toshi? Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

     Toshinori managed to suppress the bloody cough that tried to rise at his friend’s accusing tone, “Um, I have? I mean, they aren’t actually my boys it’s just everyone calls them that because they’ve taken a liking to me, and Izuku doesn’t actually have a father figure in his life but really-!”

     Something like understanding and disbelief crossed Naomasa’s face, “Wait, those two boys you’re always bragging about? The ones who want to make the other kid the Number One hero? The ones you’d keep pictures of in your wallet if you weren’t terrified it would somehow put them in danger? They’re at the source of those explosions?”

     Toshinori felt heat bloom all over his face. It wasn’t his fault he bragged —a little— over the boys. They just had so much potential and heart, it was enough to make him cry sometimes. Izuku’s depthless kindness and truly genius mind for strategy. His courage and warmth despite having a quirk that came with a plethora of complications and disabilities. His passion for helping people that seemed to come to him as naturally as breathing. 

     Then there was Katsuki, with raw talent practically coming out of his ears, a protective streak as wide as China and a level of humility that bordered on an inferiority complex when it came to just how much good he did for the community. A boy with the natural disposition of a rabid porcupine who was trying so hard to better himself, even when it went against every instinct he had. Who had come so far but still held himself to some kind of invisible standard that made him fight and push and struggle to reach even higher.

     They were unquestionably the most heroic kids of their generation Toshinori had ever met. To the point where he had even begun to consider- Well. Passing the torch. He was just having a terrible time picking which one to pass it to…

     Okay yes, maybe he did brag about them too much to the few people he trusted, but he could hardly be blamed for it.

     Naomasa was still waiting for a response, so Toshinori swallowed his embarrassment and answered, “Yes. That would be them.”

     Another explosion echoed over the neighborhood and Naomasa gave him a look like Toshinori was insane, “And we aren’t running to help them … why? They could be in serious trouble!”

     Toshinori followed the sound off the paved park trails and into the deeper parts where the trees almost looked wild, “Because unfortunately, they are the trouble.” They had probably either gotten too intense in their sparring or had gotten into another fight with a pack of hoodlums who thought they could move in and bully the other kids in the area. Or, considering the explosion size, a single adult who thought he could sell them illegal drugs. Both boys got very angry when drugs were involved —even Izuku, who was usually the voice of calm reason— and while their fights were technically vigilantism, they’d never been arrested because they always had an excuse for why the fight was not their fault. 

     The usual excuse was for Katsuki to downplay his short fused temper while Izuku spun a sob story about how the other side had started it and it was just overenthusiastic self-defense. Since youth suicide and drug rates had been at a record low in the area ever since the two started having “self-defense encounters”, the local police had quietly turned a blind eye as thanks.

     The part of him that was All Might very much disapproved of it —they were just boys, the police shouldn’t rely on them to keep the peace like that—. The part of him that was Toshinori was just … so proud that they stood up for their neighborhood and so terrified they’d hurt themselves without proper training. He’d ended up making a compromise between his two halves by laying down ground rules for engagements —they couldn’t start the fights, they had to stay as non-violent as possible, they couldn’t hospitalize their opponents, and if they saw an actual villain they had to call it in instead of fight on their own— and then training them in self-defense by giving them “tips” he’d “picked up from being a Pro Hero’s secretary for so many years”.

     Naomasa opened his mouth to ask another question when an explosion ripped the air with enough force to bend trees. A fireball was visible in the near distance —he could feel the heat of it— and Toshinori caught a glimpse of a black figure winging out of the sky with a high scream that sent all his neck hairs on end.

     That was not normal. That wasn’t even Katsuki’s version of overkill when he lost his temper. That explosion had been made to do as much damage as possible and Izuku’s scream had been a call for help.

     Something was very, very wrong.

     Toshinori rounded the bend at a dead run. The Pro Hero part of his brain slammed to the forefront, cataloguing the situation —armed confrontation, five high-school age teens with bats and pipes down and out from minor explosions and controlled dragon-induced blunt trauma— and searching for Katsuki and Izuku.

     Katsuki was up against a half-broken tree, red eyes intense as he struggled upright. One of his wrists was at a bad angle and the smoke curling from the palm told Toshinori that he’d injured it making that last explosion. His forehead was bleeding —possible concussion, he’d have to check later—, his shirt was gone, and there was a nasty collection of bruises forming on his left arm and side.

     Izuku was crouched in front of Katsuki, wings flared protectively and blood dripping from a collection of shallow gashes on his side. His pupils were nothing but paper-thin slits, back arched like a cornered cat and his lips were peeled back to reveal sharp, bloodied teeth. The blue light of a fireball danced in the back of Izuku’s throat and his eyes had a maniac, wild gleam Toshinori had never seen in them before, like he was less a thirteen year old boy and more a rabid animal.

     Across from the boys was a teen with spiked metal plating covering every inch of his body save for a part of his arm where the metal appeared to have been bitten through. Blood dripped from some of the spikes on his hands and he was laughing at them with a mouth so wide Toshinori had no trouble seeing the black tongue within. Sh*t! Naomasa leveled his pistol at the metal spiked aggressor, “You! Down on the ground! Now!” At the sound of Naomasa’s voice both boys glanced frantically over at the two of them and Toshinori cursed as he realized that he couldn’t transform now —should’ve transformed earlier stupid, stupid—.

     But the drugged up teen didn’t seem to even be aware of their presence, just screamed something at Katsuki and Izuku —something about respecting betters and killing them for this— and lunged. Izuku reared up to meet the assault, blue plasma slamming against the oncoming metal chest of his attacker without effect. Toshinori saw the sharp hand spikes —already dripping blood, already proven capable of piercing Izuku’s hard scales— plunge for Izuku’s exposed chest and Katsuki lunge to try to pull his friend away and take the blow for himself somehow and-.

     A controlled —just enough not to kill, if only barely— Texas Smash sent the drug-using teen flying through several trees before he hit the ground and slid with enough force to form a trough in the dirt before stopping. All Might stood before the boys —Toshinori’s boys, his boys, that he had spent two years coming to love with all his heart for their determination and courage despite their secretly broken parts— and couldn’t find it in himself to smile. “Take a piece of advice. Stay down and give yourself up to the law.” His voice boomed over the suddenly quiet area, deep and dangerous.

     The black-tongued teen struggled to sit up, slurring angry nonsense the entire way and All Might brought his fist down on the teen’s head —lightly, couldn’t break the teen’s skull no matter how angry he was—, knocking him out cold. Naomasa was across the clearing in a heartbeat, one hand holding his phone to call in backup while the other pulled out the handcuffs he carried even off duty —both of them knew that All Might’s presence attracted trouble in either form—.

     Silence reigned heavy and angry in the area before it was broken by a shaky, slightly electronic, “Toshinori … san?” All Might startled and looked over his shoulder at the question, having forgotten for a moment that the boys were still there, still watching. Gleaming blue eyes locked first with wide, catlike green, then with worryingly blank blood red and All Might knew that nothing would ever be the same.

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @laumeidelfin!

I tried to incorporate as many of your likes as I could, and I hope I succeeded! Happy Holidays!

Read on AO3

*****

Catching little words (wouldn't know where to start)

Stiles is seven when he discovers that he has magic. His mother is equal parts delighted and terrified. Delighted, because she comes from a long line of Polish witches, secretly having hoped that some of her talent will show in her son, and terrified, because it means that her son is in danger. Emissaries are rare and thought after, she tells him. Any pack would be stronger with one, and an alpha taking an emissary as his mate is the easiest way to ensure that power stays with them. So Claudia warns him to be careful, to never reveal his secret, not wanting her son to be liked for only his ability and have his choice in partner taken away from him. She teaches him in secret, introducing him to spells and potions, and making sure he has the tools to hide himself. Sometimes, she talks of the Hale pack too, of how she has started a tentative friendship with Talia, and that maybe they can be trusted, and Stiles starts paying attention to them whenever he sees them, thinking that it might be nice to have friends he could share secrets with.

But then his mum gets sick, and the fire happens, and suddenly, Stiles is on his own. Of course, he still has his dad, and while he knows about his wife and son’s abilities, he is only human, and they never talk about the supernatural much. So Stiles practises alone, with the help of his mum’s books and an online community that he has found through his grandma in Poland, and though it is not the same as having someone by his side, he learns a lot and his magic gets stronger every day. Therefore, when Scott gets bitten, Stiles knows a lot more about it than he should, but of course he can’t let that on, and pretends to be clueless, gently steering Scott in the right direction, who is fortunately too preoccupied with his situation to notice anything.

And then Derek Hale is back in town and Stiles has a revelation: He is most definitely attracted to men too, and it seems that Derek is exactly his type, and isn’t that slightly worrying? He remembers his mum telling him about the Hales, and what a wonderful pack they are, hoping that one day they can trust them, and Stiles desperately wants too.

Of course, everything turns out to be a little more complicated, with Derek being accused of murder, and Stiles hiding him, and Scott falling in love with a hunter of all things. But the more he gets to know Derek, the more he realises that his mum has been right. He is a wonderful alpha, even under the circumstances that have made him one, and under his gruff exterior, he cares deeply, and he is thoughtful and smart and altogether amazing, and Stiles is aware that he is falling for him, not that he would ever admit that. They keep expanding the pack slowly, with Erica and Boyd and Isaac, even Lydia and Jackson belonging somehow, maybe more so than Scott these days, who only stops by occasionally, too busy mooning over Allison to notice much else. And Stiles never thought he’d say that, but it doesn’t feel like they’re best friends anymore. That title now goes to Erica, who is smart and fun and has so much in common with him, and he’s really glad they found her. He considers telling her, he really does, but then maybe she’d tell Derek, because he is her alpha after all, and Stiles really doesn’t want him to find out. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Derek, of course he does, he’s put his life in his hands more times than he can count, and saved Derek’s in turn, but that’s not what this is about. He knows that Derek would do just about anything for his pack, and having an emissary would severely strengthen theirs, but he cannot bear the thought of Derek choosing him just for his powers. And he can imagine that Derek would, sacrificing his happiness for the good of the pack, and Stiles cannot let him do that. As much as he wants to be with him, he does not want him like that, Derek only being with him because of his magic, and not because he actually wants him. And since that will never happen, Stiles knows that he hasn’t gotten much else going for him, why would Derek, strong, amazing, wonderful Derek, even look twice at him, he keeps quiet, keeps pretending to be just human, even when it’s hard sometimes. It’s not only that he feels like he’s betraying his friends more and more, it also gets more difficult to come up with excuses as to why he knows certain things, or why some research doesn’t take him much time at all, and saying “the internet” only gets him so far. Especially Lydia keeps looking at him thoughtfully, but fortunately, she hasn’t said anything yet.

Then Derek gets the message that Cora is in Mexico, and he goes to spend time with her, saying that the pack will be fine without him for a bit, that there’s no immediate threat, and that Stiles can take care of them. He actually winks at him when he says that, and Stiles thinks about it for days. Of course Erica teases him about it approximately two seconds after Derek has left. “So, you’re the pack mum now?”, she sing-songs, grinning widely, and Stiles flushes. He tries to pretend that he finds that idea embarrassing, but in truth, he’d of course like nothing more than to be Derek’s partner and take care of the pack at his side. He sighs. “That’s not what he meant.” Erica must hear his dejected tone, because she throws an arm around her shoulder and gets more serious. “Ah come on, we all think you’re awesome, and everyone knows you’re pretty much keeping the pack together!” If only. Stiles shrugs. “Would you let it go?” “But..” “Erica, please?” He really doesn’t want to talk about it. “Of course.” She hugs him a little closer and suggests to watch cartoons, but Stiles knows that she’s concerned, but he figures that as long as she doesn’t tell Derek, he can handle that.

When Derek gets back a few weeks later, he’s even more beautiful than before, not that Stiles thought that that was possible. It’s just that there’s a confidence about him now that wasn’t there before, and Stiles feels himself falling a little deeper. Cora has come with him, to see the pack, and Stiles finds himself liking her a lot. She fits with the pack seamlessly and brings out a playful side in Derek that they hadn’t seen before. Just when he thinks that Derek couldn’t get any more attractive, he discovers that he speaks Spanish. They’re in the kitchen, and Derek says something to Cora, and she grins and replies, and then Lydia chimes in, because genius that she is, of course she speaks the language, and Stiles is aware that he’s staring, but he can’t help himself, because how did he not know this, and why is it so hot? Derek turns to him, noticing that he’s quiet. “¿Pasa algo, cielo?“ „Huh?“ Stiles blinks, still too caught up in Derek speaking Spanish, and Derek actually blushes at that. “Oh sorry. I was just asking if something is wrong?”, he explains, and Cora smirks at that, while Lydia just looks smug, and Stiles feels like he’s missing something. He vows to learn Spanish after that.

He never gets to it, because they get news that another pack will be visiting. Apparently, they’re from Canada, on the way through, and want to meet. Everyone is understandably nervous, and Stiles tries his best to calm them down, without giving away that he has of course asked his magic community about any information they have, and confirmed that they’re a good pack, widely liked across the continent. When they arrive, everyone is introduced, because Derek insisted that they need to make a good impression, and Melinda, the alpha, seems slightly amused, but pleased, until Stiles is introduced as human. Her eyebrows shoot up and her nostrils flare, and he gets the impression that she knows, panicking instantly. She doesn’t say anything though, but the glances she keep shooting him do nothing to settle his fears. All in all, their stay goes over well, until it’s time for them to leave. “I have a proposition”, Melinda starts, and Derek nods for her to go ahead. “You need to strengthen your pack, that much is obvious. I’d be willing to give you Katarina, or Ben, or both even.” She pauses, and Stiles is entirely sure it’s for effect, and he sees Derek frowning, picking up on it aswell. “In exchange for Stiles”, she finishes then, and there’s an immediately flurry of activity. Erica and Boyd both throw their arms around him, Derek’s frown deepens considerably, Lydia and Isaac both step in front of Stiles, and even Jackson tenses next to them. Only Scott looks contemplative. “That’s not the worst idea”, he says then, and everyone stares at him. Stiles feels his heart drop. While it’s true that they’re not as close as they used to be, he would have never imagined something like that. “What?”, Derek manages, sounding furious, and Scott shrugs. “She’s right. We do need more power. And Stiles is just human.” Erica’s arm tightens around him, and Lydia looks like she wants to strangle Scott, but it’s Derek who finally addresses Melinda. “Thanks for your offer”, he starts, sounding anything but grateful. “But no. Firstly, I don’t understand how you can just offer up your pack members like that. Secondly, I don’t give mine away. Even if Stiles is just human, he’s important, and we need him. I need him.” Stiles’ heart flutters at that, and Erica shoots him a look, them nervously turns back to Melinda, afraid that they have ruined their good relations now. But the alpha is smiling. “Very good answer, Derek. You’ve confirmed that you’re a great alpha. Caring for all of your pack is important. We should stay in touch.” She looks directly at Stiles when she says that, and has the nerve to wink at him, and he’s positive now that she knows. And sure enough, she texts him a few days later. “They have no idea, do they?” “How did you?”, he replies, curious and terrified. “I can smell it. Magic makes you different”, is what he gets back, confirming his fears. Before he has chance to reply, another text comes through: “You should tell them. Derek at least. It’s obvious that you can trust him.” Stiles sighs. “I know. It’s more complicated than that, though.” “I see.” And Stiles has the feeling that she really does. “Let me know if I can help.” And just like that, Stiles has added another person in the know, and since at least the pack knows about her, he can pass off some of the information he gets from his community as having it from Melinda.

A few weeks later, they are, unsurprisingly with the way things are going, in a fight for their lives with a flock of very aggressive harpies. Stiles only knows a little about them, and there’s no time to research with how fast they attack. Him and Derek get separated from the others early into the fight, somewhere in the woods, and there are four harpies still advancing on them, and Stiles can see how exhausted Derek is, his healing not quite strong enough to keep up with his injuries, but he still firmly places himself in front of Stiles, and he knows that this is it. Derek has little chance of winning this on his own, and even if it does, it would cost him greatly, and Stiles does not want to see him hurt any more. Taking a deep breath, he closes his eyes and summons his magic. He has never used it in a fight before, but he knows that to protect Derek, he can do anything. When he opens his eyes, the air is charged with electricity, and Stiles focuses, striking the harpies with lightning. They fall to the ground, probably dead, but Stiles doesn’t go to check because Derek whirls around to face him, wide-eyed. “You have magic?”, he manages, sounding strangled, and Stiles really can’t blame him. “Surprise?”, he tries, going for light and missing by miles. Derek blinks, and slowly steps closer, and Stiles finally notices that his side is still bleeding, and rushes forward. He figures that since he’s already revealed himself, helping Derek is the least he can do. He gently channels his magic to support Derek’s healing powers, and he gasps at the feeling. “You’re… That’s why you smell different! I always thought it was...” He breaks off, and is he blushing? That can’t be right. Stiles withdraws his hands, now that Derek is no longer bleeding, and nods slowly, remembering what Melinda told him. Derek’s thoughts must have gone in the same direction, because he frowns. “Melinda knows?” Stiles nods again, and Derek’s frown deepens. “So that’s why she wanted you. You should have gone with her then.” “What?” Stiles is sure his heart is breaking at that. He always thought that if he ever revealed his magic, it would make Derek want to keep him, not send him away. “Since obviously you don’t trust me”, Derek elaborates, sounding hurt and a little angry, and as difficult as this conversation is going to be, Stiles can’t have him think that. “Of course I trust you”, he says firmly. “I didn’t tell you because, well, I didn’t want you to feel like you had to be with me because of my magic.” “What?” Derek is still frowning, and Stiles sighs. “We all know that that’s exactly the stupid, self-sacrificing thing you’d do. Emissaries strengthen the pack, even more so as mates to the alpha, and you’d do anything for the pack. I didn’t want to put you in that position.” He doesn’t say that the pain of knowing that Derek only wants him for his powers would kill him, because this is painful enough as it is. “You think I’d ask you to be my mate because you have magic?”, Derek asks, and Stiles didn’t think that his heart could break more, but it does. Derek sounds absolutely disgusted by the idea, and Stiles doesn’t know how to handle the pain. He knew that Derek could never want him, but having it confirmed like that is almost too much. Not wanting Derek to see the tears that are threatening to fall, he turns around, but Derek quickly grabs his wrist. “Stiles, cielo, wait! What I meant was, I’d be honoured to be your mate.” “What?” Stiles whips back around, sure that he can’t have heard that right. Derek looks a little sheepish, and he’s definitely blushing now, but his voice is firm when he says: “I don’t care about the magic. I mean, it’s fantastic and amazing and all that, but I always thought you are fantastic and amazing. You’re so smart and kind and funny, and you keep the pack together, and you make me want to be better, and could never hope for a better mate, a better partner, but obviously you don’t want that, and that’s okay. I just need you to know how amazing you are.” Stiles just stares at him for a moment, overwhelmed, is heart beating frantically, the tears now falling freely, then he shakes his head. “Derek, I’ve been in love with you for ages! Of course I want to be your mate. There’s nothing I want more.” Now it’s Derek’s turn to look overwhelmed, then he chuckles, stepping closer and lightly placing his hands on Stiles hips. “Guess we’re idiots?” “Yeah.” Stiles grins, then leans up to finally kiss Derek, who responds immediately, pulling him even closer, and it feels like fireworks, and rainbows, and coming home all at once. When Derek starts kissing down his neck and whispers “mi cielo”, Stiles pulls back though. “You’ve said that before. What does that mean?”, he questions, and that adorable blush spreads over Derek’s cheeks again. “It’s an endearment. Literally my sky. Because you’re my everything. And also...” He leans in again, a glint in his eyes that makes Stiles feel hot all over, and places a gentle kiss just behind his ear. “Because I would love to trace all your constellations.” Every word is punctuated with a kiss, and when Derek whispers “Te amo, mi cielo”, Stiles doesn’t need to know Spanish to understand what that means.

[believingbrook]

She doesn’t start out with a portrait on the wall behind her. That enchantment is not the first one she lays.

No; when the Bureau is constructed, the first piece of furniture she moves in, one she tacks down by hand, is a map.

Over the past forty years, Davenport entrusted her more and more with command. By this point, a year into their stay on this plane, it’s almost second nature for Lucretia to create an organization on an interplanar scope. She needs a headquarters, and she needs technology, and she needs people to get the job done, and it’s almost rote to establish communication with the Millers and the bugbears and the families Fangbattle and Bonecrusher and Octavius until her dome-encrusted base brims with talent.

In her spare time as Director, even in these budding years of the Bureau of Balance, Lucretia searches. Endlessly.

Every evening she returns to her office and looks at the map and thinks, Lup, where could you have gone?

Barry was a meticulous note-taker. Lucretia thanks any of the gods on this plane for that. He notes carefully which cities he visited, which ones he and Taako visited together (and it hurts, for years, to even hear that name—in her darker moments she thinks, will he ever know how much I took? and she thinks, what a relief it will be to have his anger if it means I have someone to return to him.)

There are a handful of villages that Barry left unturned, so in all of her spare time, Lucretia goes. Upon the ruins of a once-thriving Greenhold she can see a perfect plane of black glass glinting along the horizon. It takes her several minutes, when she lands in the center of that abandoned town, to tear her gaze away.

Their Relics are incredibly powerful objects, Davenport’s perhaps the most so, but in that moment she hates the Gauntlet the most. When Taako compared the worlds to dust he was not wrong, and Lucretia cannot help but hate the Gauntlet for taking one of the only seven people that truly mattered.

Then, she brings them home.

But it’s not home, not really. It’s a home fragmented into seven pieces and torn apart. Bonds, shredded between her own fingers. Lucretia welcomes them to the Bureau with a warm smile and a heavy heart—there’s a space at Taako’s side, a blank absence that tears through her heart like flame.

She has to keep Barry from them, but Barry is still her brother. In her limited spare time, when she takes a break from working, she visits him. It’s one of the few moments she can be Lucretia, nothing more, nothing less; not the Director, nor the stern-faced woman who lost ten years of her life in Wonderland, just...Lucretia. Someone’s sister. The little girl who tried to save her world.

Most of their conversations are filled with silence, now. Even in the dark caves in which Barry has taken up primary residence, he conjures tea for himself, coffee for her. It’s perfectly blended: two sugars, a dash of cream, another of milk, two percent. Barry remembers what she likes, perfectly, because that’s what Barry does: commits to memory what is most important.

They talk about trivialities and the weight of the world and nothing in between. Their conversations are either about the slimming effect the robe has on his silhouette or the last place he saw Lup, places he’s checked, places they have left to scour. The rest of their interactions are filled with silence.

Though the silence should be awkward, perhaps—she has stolen from his family, after all—they aren’t. They’re thick and heavy and warm, somehow, and settle over her shoulders like a well-worn robe.

They say goodbye the same way, every time: “Best of luck.”

Eventually, Lucretia switches out the map for her portrait. Eventually, her days jam up with research about the Relics, about where they could have gone. Eventually, her nightmares—of the Hunger, of Wonderland, of her family shattered by the Relics they created—keep her up at night, wandering the halls of her own organization like a ghost. She takes no comfort in the reflections of these unfamiliar stars, refracted and jagged through the glass planes of the dome.

And on and on, she looks for Lup.

She tucks the map away, unwilling to field questions about it. She stows it next to the baby Voidfish, because deep inside herself she thinks that this child, who has provided her with so many solutions, would have one more answer. Just one more. She’d take this one answer over all the solutions it’s given her so far.

It’s no use. After the Hunger devoured their world Lucretia gave up on praying, and she’s hardly about to start now. Over the last century, the gods have never seen fit to help. Why should they start now?

Those ten years without her family, she looked. Every month, every week; she’d go every day, if she could. She scours the continent top-to-bottom, asking, please, an elven woman with hair spun like gold. Perhaps wearing a red robe, perhaps not. Looking lost and confused. Sometimes Barry comes with her, shielded from prying eyes by one of her spells, and together they devour the continent.

It never shows them Lup.

Lucretia never gives up.

She keeps looking. Even after they recover the Gauntlet, she keeps looking. Even after she spies the Umbrastaff hooked over Taako’s shoulder, scrapes off the remnants of the name L-U-P burned into the wall through blurred eyes. Even after they recover the Oculus and the Sash and the Stone and the Chalice, even as she prepares to send her family into a hell from which she barely escaped—she never stops looking.

In the end, Taako finds her. It’s fitting, Lucretia thinks.

She stows away her map, for a few weeks, tucking it into her apartment. Then she burns it. She doesn’t want anything to do with it, never again.

They come find her later that day, Lup and Barry. Barry talked his way into restoring Lup’s body, and she beams to see Lucretia in a way that makes her gut twist nauseatingly.

Lup sweeps her up in an embrace. She’s so warm.

Lucretia buries her head in Lup’s shoulder, trembling arms clasped around her back, and sobs.

Over Lup’s shoulder, Barry nods. Then he goes to make tea and coffee, and soon, her apartment is filled with the fragrances shrouded with a hundred years.

They talk for hours. They talk about trivialities and the weight of the world and everything in between. “I know what you did,” Lup tells her, when the dregs of her coffee have long gone cold and Lup has twined her fingers with Lucretia’s own. Her smile is radiant and soft, a bed of embers gleaming against twilight falling. “I know how long you looked. Thank you, Lucretia.”

Lucretia swallows, hard. She cried so hard and for so long on Lup’s shoulder that she doesn’t think she could manage any more. “You’re welcome,” she rasps, then: “I missed you.”

Lup’s grin burns brighter. She squeezes Lucretia’s hand. “I missed you too, babe.”

They talk about the festivals of this world, the towns they’ve seen. In their searching she and Barry were not entirely blind to the beauty of the world around them, and one joy—they learned this from Merle, to find joys even in the darkest of places—is that Barry can show Lup the most breathtaking sights on this plane.

He invites Lucretia to join them, for this next one. Talks about a place they discovered together, during their travels. Says he thinks she’d like to come along, and they’d like her to come too.

She says yes, of course. Those last few tears she didn’t think she would manage prove her wrong, but—she’s smiling.

Evening trickles into night into dawn, and in the span of a blink one day has turned to the next, midafternoon streaming bright and burnished into her small kitchen. Old and worn as this body is, she can’t help a cracking yawn that crackles up her jaw. Lup laughs.

It’s a gorgeous sound, and oh, she’d missed it so.

“Let’s get you to bed, babe,” Lup laughs, and curls her arm around Lucretia’s, escorting her to bed. When Lucretia wakes that evening, she finds a note scrawled in Barry’s handwriting—not Lup’s, for good reason—containing an address not far from their place. For rent, Barry’s ink proclaims. We think you’d like it.

The three of them take their vacation. The scenery is gorgeous but there’s nothing so striking as the quiet awe on Lup’s face as she watches the full, bleeding sun drip yellow-orange-red over the horizon. All the light and heat of this arid place and nothing burns quite so bright as her.

Lucretia tours the place once, twice. Then she walks to Lup and Barry’s place, just to test out the stroll. She’s under no illusions about her own condition; soon, she’ll hardly be able to walk, and it’s hardly worth the purchase if she can’t pay her family a visit. They receive her with joy, and coffee, and tea, and the spices that only Lup and Taako know how to transmute, and together they lost track of another day. The next week, another; the next month, Lucretia spends more time at Lup and Barry’s than she does in her new home. She keeps a toothbrush over there, yes, along with several changes of clothes and some of her favorite books and a rocking-chair, a custom Burnsides artifact, tucked in the corner for when she needs to nap.

They travel. Not only around their plane, as they did in the beginning, but across the planes; just the three of them, sometimes. To the ones with good memories but to new ones, too. Barry starts a few cults and Lup holds it over his head, blackmailing him with the knowledge that she would absolutely tell Kravitz if she thought it necessary. The petulance on Barry’s face is so childish and bright that Lucretia can’t help but laugh.

It surprises her. Going by the shock on their faces it surprises them, too. Then they both beam, warm and reassuring, and tell stupid jokes and old, old stories she’d forgotten, until she’s laughing so hard she can hardly breathe.

When she can’t move as much she spends hours in their living room, drawing. It’s a talent that has never left her; both of her hands are steady, and after so long observing so many people and cultures of so many colors, blending and shading comes easy to her. She burned the map but she makes new ones, landscapes of the places they’ve been, both in Faerun and not. She draws their whole family. She takes the pictures that Davenport sends of himself, that Merle sends of himself and his children, of Magnus and Merle and Taako.

She draws Lup and Barry, too. Sometimes, the three of them together. They’re her proudest works.

Her room in their home is painted blue, like her office in the Bureau, but this one—this one she decorates with portraits, layered so thick and so fast that the burnished borders paint the walls scarlet.

[udon0noodle]

Just Right, Just Dream

When you auditioned for JYP you never thought you would actually be accepted. By some deities grace, you did. Traveling with your two best friends to Korea you leave everything in the States behind. A new life awaits you full to the brim with excitement. A dream come true and new love to be found.

Group: GOT7

Pairing: ???xFTM!Reader

A/N: This is my first fic. It started as a dream I had while back it was extremely vivid and I thought why not actually turn it into something. Hopefully I'll actually keep up with this fic, I plan on making it a longer story based one.  This one (as others I have planned to write) includes an FTM reader rather than the normal female reader that is so often found. Maybe it's playing to small of an audience and too self-indulgent. But, to be honest I feel there aren't enough x male reader fics so that's what most of mine will be centered around. Of course, on occasion, i’ll write x female reader fics as well but to start this one will play to a specific audience. I hope you enjoy! 

                                                       CHAPTER 1

    A rush engulfed you as you saw the immense glass building in front of you. Your dreams were coming true, somehow here you were against all odds. Surrounded by friends the next step in your life was beginning. “Holy shit I can’t believe this is happening!”, the beautiful milk chocolate goddess next to you chimes as she gripped your shoulder. “Yeah, Y/N can you believe it?”, you rolled your eyes at the golden-haired woman next to you. She beamed that gorgeous smile she always had.

        The two next to you were your best friends, Kiev and Ten. Ten was a glowing and glistening goddess, her beauty always inspired you and you loved her. Kiev was a kind, gentle and loving person deep in her core, though she hid it under salt. She was a wonderful photographer and of course, you loved her as much as you loved Ten. You could feel your heart race as the three of you walked closer toward the building.

        ‘JYP entertainment’ you read it over and over trying to convince yourself that was, in fact, real. A huge deep sigh later and you walked through the doors. Music filled your ears as you stepped through the threshold to your new life. “Wow….” Kiev’s voice stood against all else and you nodded. People took notice of the three of you…hell here you were some guy just waltzing in with two girls on either side of him. The whispers filled your ears people were wondering if you were to be a new trainee or a collaborating artist.

        Ten lifted her head and walked to a desk perched against the back wall. “Hi!”, she smiled and explained to the receptionist who she and the other two were and why you all were here. The woman pointed to a room without even looking up from her magazine and chewing loudly on her gum. Ten’s face twisted inward and she motioned for the rest of you to follow her You smiled and laughed under your breath. Ten didn’t take shit from anyone and you knew it just as well as Kiev.

        Once again walking the three of you stepped into a room.  A few others were already in the room waiting, they turned their heads the three of you entered.  Two others and from the looks of it seemed to also be very close. “Oh finally. Now we’re only waiting on one more person.”, the person who spoke looked neither feminine or masculine. They threw their hands in the air and sighed.  Their hair was short and didn’t touch their neck and barely covered their ears.  The color reminded you of the clouds it was whitish with a slight tint of a light blue.  They were shorter and came to your mid chest.  “Denix don’t be so rude,” A slightly taller auburn haired women, whose hair was tied half up in a ponytail, spoke.  “Come on, they knew I wasn’t serious.” The one called Denix chimed.

        The door opened again and a woman with plump dark lips and shoulder length silver hair entered.  “N.O.” Everyone looked to her confused and you raised an eyebrow, “That’s my name, N.O.” “Oh!” Ten exclaimed, “That’s so cool!!” She Smiled brightly at the new woman.  Kiev and you both rolled your eyes. “Wait,” Denix chimed in. “I thought this whole shindig was supposed to have just five members?” Ten and you both looked to Kiev and laughed. “She’s not a performer, she’s not really in the group.” Ten giggles pointing to Kiev. “She’s just the photographer.” You answered.

        “Huh? Photographer aren’t there usually different photographers at different shoots?” Denix asked. “Well from what we’ve been told they want to do stuff completely different here… I mean obviously, we’re all foreign.”  You spoke softly.  “Like him!” Ten poked your cheek.  “He’s obviously a guy, while the rest of us- “She stopped as she laid eyes on Denix, “well, most of us are women What was your name again?” She asked the white-haired shorter person.  “Denix, this is Akira.” She pointed to the woman with the auburn hair.  “Anyway!” Ten started up again. You rolled your eyes and shrugged as she continued rattling on.  Ten looked up at you and pouted with a sigh.  “They want to integrate men and women into a group together.”  You spoke up.

        Ten nodded and clapped her hands together, “So, since we’re going to be training together from now on, we should get to know each other, right?!” Her face lit up as she looked around the room. You knew she would have fun here you knew she loved meeting new people. Top that off with how much Kiev, yourself and Ten, desperately wanted change in your lives, and here you were.  On your way to becoming an idol.  The thought of how much you loved to sing and perform flooded your mind.  Ten clasped her hand on your shoulder, “Hey Y/N are you ok you seem pretty out of it.” “Hm? Yeah, I’m fine, I was just thinking all of this is happening so fast.  It’s great, amazing actually, I mean we’re here in Korea. We’re going to be idols.”  You smiled more to yourself than her.

        Everyone’s jaws practically hit the floor.  Being here was insane enough of its own, but now would have the pleasure of meeting your favorite group.  Hell, they were going to be your mentor, you felt as if you could pass out right on the spot from the pure shock.  JYP still hadn't stopped smiling since he walked in, his eyes panned over the room and all of you.  He nodded his head as he left letting a woman take charge.  Her name was Eun Ji and she explained she would be your manager.  After shaking hands with everyone she straightened her pantsuit.  “I’ll be giving each of you your personal mentor, matching them with your talents.”

          Ten’s hand squeezed your shoulder, “Yeah, I know I can't believe this is really happening. I can't believe we’re in the same group.” You nodded and Kiev turned her attention toward the two of you, “What are you two whispering about? Secrets don't make friends y'know.” You rolled your eyes and repeated the conversation to your other friend. The other three watches you three and N.O. lifted her brow. She was curious about what kind of conversation the three of you could be having.  

            She shrugged it off and looked toward the door as you all heard a click. Slowly the door swung open and there he stood JYP himself. A smile formed on his face as he clasped his hands together. “Welcome!” His voice boomed throughout the room. “I hope everyone is doing well.” Everyone nodded and his widened. “Good good. Okay well first off let's start by saying, yes this is a new group I've decided upon. It will have men and women, as well as the normal ‘no dating until after you've been debuted for a while’ will be lifted. This is only because I want to make a change here. I want to show off talented people that can make it in this industry, and that they can be foreign. I would also like to..embrace LGBT communities.” His eyes focused on you.  

           You bit the inside of your cheek. You were gay, and JYP felt a need to embrace that in you, as well as you're being a transgender man. You nodded to him as he spoke the words. He nodded as well, “I hope everyone can get along well. We will be assigning mentors to help you get the hang of things. Luckily they're not working on any comebacks at the moment so they should be free often for you.” Everyone looked to one another confused. “Oh! I never mentioned, yes you will have mentors... It will be Got7.”

           Everyone’s jaws practically hit the floor.  Being here was insane enough of its own, but now would have the pleasure of meeting your favorite group.  Hell, they were going to be your mentor, you felt as if you could pass out right on the spot from the pure shock.  JYP still hadn't stopped smiling since he walked in, his eyes panned over the room and all of you.  He nodded his head as he left letting a woman take charge.  Her name was Eun Ji and she explained she would be your manager.  After shaking hands with everyone she straightened her pantsuit.  “I’ll be giving each of you your personal mentor, matching them with your talents.”

        You knew yourself and your talents.  You already had a pretty good idea of who your metor would be.  Little did you know you were so wrong.  You glanced over to see Ten standing off to the side of everyone quieter than normal.  Something was worng and you wanted to know.  You would soon find out your best friend kept a life altering secret form you.  

[symbianosgames]

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

Reposted from the Award Winning* Thimbleweed Park Dev Blog. *Awards TBD.

During last week's Thimbleweed Park podcast, I asked Gary and David what scares them the most about the project. I find this a useful exercise to do with the team to see what they are worried about. The answer always changes as the project progresses and new worries come and go.

The common theme from the three of us was the amount of work there is to do. It's daunting. But as I've said several times on this blog, that's normal. I've never not been daunted by the amount of work facing me on any game I've done. If you're not daunted by the amount of work, there's probably something wrong and you need to be pushing harder. Be daunted and push yourself right up to the point of being overwhelmed.

During the podcast I mentioned my concern about money and seeing the bank account go down each month. This was somehow turned into "we're running out of money", which is far from the truth. I am worried about money, anyone running a project should be.

The thing is: I worry about things so they don't become problems, and worrying about money is one of those things. If we didn't worry about money everyday, we would run out of money. It sneaks up on you.

Seeing $500,000 in your bank account can make you cocky. It can seem like an endless supply of cash and more money than most people (including me) have ever seen in their bank account. But you have to treat that $500,000 like it's $5,000 or even $500. Every dollar matters.

It's why I like to have a budget.

It is one of the advantages of having a publisher, they will poke your budget full of holes and challenge your assumptions. The downside is, they will also push your budget down and it's not uncommon for developers to then fake the budget so they get the deal (which their studio is often dependent on to stay alive). It's not malicious, they (and I have done this as well) just convince themselves they can make it for less, and that's often not true.

I want to know where every dollar is being spent from here until the end of the project. You start putting line items into the budget and you instantly see your money starting vanish. A few line items later and you're out of money. It's sobering and a necessary process. It really makes you appreciate spending anything.

We had budgets back at Lucasfilm, but we were very isolated from the gory ramifications of those numbers. I could make a budget and if I went over by 20%, I might get a stern talking to, but it's not like people weren't going to be paid. When you're running your own company and project with your own money and you run out, people don't get paid and they don't like that. In the real world, they stop working.

I do a first pass budget before I start designing. I often know how much money I have and I want to see how many people and how long I have before that money is gone. If I know I have 15 months and can afford 5 people, then that helps me in scoping the design. If I have 24 months and can have 100 people, that's another scope.

Once I've done the preliminary budget, we'll start designing and then enter pre-production, all the while, adjusting the budget as I know more.  When pre-production is done, we can look at the amount of work and do a final budget based on the schedule. Budget and Schedule are two different things that feed into and help refine each other. You can't do one without the other, but they aren't the same thing.

A schedule lists everything you have to make and who is going to make it and when. A budget takes all those people and how much they cost and tells you what the project is going to cost.

Below is the current budget for Thimbleweed Park.  It's what I like to call a living budget. You'll notice that the first monthly column is October, not the beginning of the project. Money spent is "water under the bridge" and is only relevant for historical and educational reasons. What I want to focus my attention on is how much we have and how much we need to spend going forward.

Anyone who has a real background in accounting is probably having spasm right now. There are much better ways to do this, but I'm not an accountant and neither are most indie devs. This is a much simplified way of budgeting and it works for me.

Each month I look at what we spend versus what we expect to spend then make any adjustments to future costs. I then remove the current month column, look at the projected total and the bank balance. If there is more in the bank then we're projected to spend, then we're OK, back to programming and designing.

Let's go through the budget.

First up are the people. Gary and I are working for peanuts (honey roasted). Neither of us can afford to work for free for 18 months and we're making about a quarter of what we could get with "real jobs" but we do need to eat and pay rent.

Everyone else is working below what they could get, but I do think it's important to pay people. I don't feel getting people to work for free ever works out and usually ends badly (and friendships) or you "get what you pay for." The reality is that when someone works for you for free, you aren't their top priority. They may say you are, they may want you to be, but you rarely are and you end up dealing with missed deadlines and hastily done work.

It's important to have team members that can work as professionals and you pay people that are professionals. You should respect people's time and talent and pay them for their work. It's what the Kickstarter money was for after all.

Everyone is budgeted in at 5 days a week and 8 hours a day as we're trying to keep normal hours. I have no doubt these hours will go up towards the end of the project, but I try to never budget crunch time, it's a dangerous precedent. It's a cost we will have to manage down the road, either by hiring someone new, spending for extra time, shifting resources or cutting content. There is enough slop built into the rest of the budget to cover some of this, but I never want ink to paper, because then crunch becomes real.

We do have two additional artists budgeted and yet to be hired. We don't know if we'll need both of them, but I've budgeted them just in case. We might need help with animation and there are also a lot of close-ups (telephones, control panels, bulletin boards, etc) and ancillary screens that aren't on Mark's schedule right now.

There is a line item for an additional writer. We made the decision to go with full Monkey Island style dialogs and I don't feel confident I can get all those done with everything else I need to be doing (like budgeting).

Testers, testers, testers. One of the most important and often forgotten roles in a game. It's money well spent because not testing will cost you down the road in emergency patches, dissatisfied players and crappy review scores. The original budget had 3 testers, but I added a 4th when we added the Xbox. I over budgeted for testing and it's an area that will probably come in under budget (ass, prepare to be bitten).

It's important to distinguish between testing and beta testing as they serve very different functions. The paid testers on a project are there to (primarily) find and help squash bugs. This is a paid role because it's grueling work and, quite frankly, not a lot of people are really good at it. Testers don't just "play the game". They are "testing" the game and that often involves countless hours of playing the same 5 minutes over and over, trying to get an elusive bug to appear. Testers need to write clear and concise bug reports and endlessly regress bugs to make sure they are fixed. It's a hard job. Good testers are worth every penny.

Beta testing is different. Beta testers (an unpaid role) are still finding bugs, but what you're really looking for are big picture issues, like puzzle complexity, game flow and story clarity. You want beta testers to "play" the game like normal players will and get feedback (mostly through silently watching, analytics and debriefs). You want to turn 50 beta testers loose and see where they go and what they do.

Next we come to Music and SFX. Musicians usually charge by the minute, so if you're going to have 15 minutes of unique music and they charge $1000 a minute (not uncommon), then your budget is $15,000. That $1,000/minute includes a lot of exploration and revisions and mixing. If you're saying "Hey, I'll do your music for free" you need to ask yourself if you're willing to spend weeks exploring different styles and tracks while getting constant feedback, then spend months composing it all, then additional months of making little revisions and changes, then producing 3, 4 or 5 flawless mixes. It's a lot of work and all the while, you have to hit deadline after deadline. And this is all for a relatively low budget game.

Next up on our journey through budget land is Translations, Voice Recording and Mobile. I'm kind of rolling the dice on these. I don't have a good idea what these will cost so I've padded the hell out of them and I expect this is where a lot of the slop will come from to fill other leaks. I got bids for voice acting and translation then added 30%. I have no idea on iOS and Android. I just chose a big number. This is where the voodoo of budgeting really plays out. If we had a producer, they would be spending more time nailing these numbers down. I've added enough extra that I feel comfortable.

On to Events. This is for stuff like PAX, Indiecade, E3 and other events we might want to show the game at. All this is really marketing and PR. It's also where we will pull extra money from if we get in trouble down the road. Not showing the game will screw its long term hopes, but not finishing the game is worse. Plus, it's a number we can scale up and down as needed and it's far enough down the road that we'll have better idea of how we're really doing.

Then it's on to the really exciting part of the budget: Legal, Accounting, Software, and the always important Misc. Assuming we don't get sued, these are fairly predictable and fixed expenses, but don't forget them.

And finally, the Kickstarter physical rewards. We have a fixed budget that was based on our final Kickstarter pledge numbers. It's probably around 25% too high, but that gives us some flexibility to make a better boxed copy or use the money elsewhere on the project. Or, we might have estimated wrong.

At the bottom is a total. I look at that each month and look at the bank balance. So far, we're fine. But that's because I worry.

One thing that is not on this spreadsheet is the money that is currently coming in from Humble Bundle and new backers. It's not significant, but it's not inconsequential either. I choose the leave it off the budget calculations because it provides this small margin of error.

We are planning on some new stretch goals in the next few months, and those are also not in the budget because if we don't make the goals, they won't become expenses. If we do, then all the numbers will be adjusted to account for the new work.

It's also possible that we'll move resources around, spend less on an artist and add a programmer. Budgets are living documents.

One thing to note, and I'm sure it will raise some eyebrows, is the monthly burn rate. That's a lot of money to spend each month. No one line item is very large, but they add up and can catch you by surprise. This is a pretty barebones project (but not scrappy) and it still costs $20K-$30K a month. It why when I look at other Kickstarters asking for very little money and they have a three page long team list, I get skeptical.

I hope this was informative. There are a lot of ways to do budgeting and I'm sure there are better ways, but this has always worked for me.

Please be respectful that we're sharing a lot of information with you, not only to be transparent, but also to educate and inform. This is how games are made, they take time, cost money and it's a very messy process.

- Ron Gilbert

[symbianosgames]

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

Reposted from the Award Winning* Thimbleweed Park Dev Blog. *Awards TBD.

During last week's Thimbleweed Park podcast, I asked Gary and David what scares them the most about the project. I find this a useful exercise to do with the team to see what they are worried about. The answer always changes as the project progresses and new worries come and go.

The common theme from the three of us was the amount of work there is to do. It's daunting. But as I've said several times on this blog, that's normal. I've never not been daunted by the amount of work facing me on any game I've done. If you're not daunted by the amount of work, there's probably something wrong and you need to be pushing harder. Be daunted and push yourself right up to the point of being overwhelmed.

During the podcast I mentioned my concern about money and seeing the bank account go down each month. This was somehow turned into "we're running out of money", which is far from the truth. I am worried about money, anyone running a project should be.

The thing is: I worry about things so they don't become problems, and worrying about money is one of those things. If we didn't worry about money everyday, we would run out of money. It sneaks up on you.

Seeing $500,000 in your bank account can make you cocky. It can seem like an endless supply of cash and more money than most people (including me) have ever seen in their bank account. But you have to treat that $500,000 like it's $5,000 or even $500. Every dollar matters.

It's why I like to have a budget.

It is one of the advantages of having a publisher, they will poke your budget full of holes and challenge your assumptions. The downside is, they will also push your budget down and it's not uncommon for developers to then fake the budget so they get the deal (which their studio is often dependent on to stay alive). It's not malicious, they (and I have done this as well) just convince themselves they can make it for less, and that's often not true.

I want to know where every dollar is being spent from here until the end of the project. You start putting line items into the budget and you instantly see your money starting vanish. A few line items later and you're out of money. It's sobering and a necessary process. It really makes you appreciate spending anything.

We had budgets back at Lucasfilm, but we were very isolated from the gory ramifications of those numbers. I could make a budget and if I went over by 20%, I might get a stern talking to, but it's not like people weren't going to be paid. When you're running your own company and project with your own money and you run out, people don't get paid and they don't like that. In the real world, they stop working.

I do a first pass budget before I start designing. I often know how much money I have and I want to see how many people and how long I have before that money is gone. If I know I have 15 months and can afford 5 people, then that helps me in scoping the design. If I have 24 months and can have 100 people, that's another scope.

Once I've done the preliminary budget, we'll start designing and then enter pre-production, all the while, adjusting the budget as I know more.  When pre-production is done, we can look at the amount of work and do a final budget based on the schedule. Budget and Schedule are two different things that feed into and help refine each other. You can't do one without the other, but they aren't the same thing.

A schedule lists everything you have to make and who is going to make it and when. A budget takes all those people and how much they cost and tells you what the project is going to cost.

Below is the current budget for Thimbleweed Park.  It's what I like to call a living budget. You'll notice that the first monthly column is October, not the beginning of the project. Money spent is "water under the bridge" and is only relevant for historical and educational reasons. What I want to focus my attention on is how much we have and how much we need to spend going forward.

Anyone who has a real background in accounting is probably having spasm right now. There are much better ways to do this, but I'm not an accountant and neither are most indie devs. This is a much simplified way of budgeting and it works for me.

Each month I look at what we spend versus what we expect to spend then make any adjustments to future costs. I then remove the current month column, look at the projected total and the bank balance. If there is more in the bank then we're projected to spend, then we're OK, back to programming and designing.

Let's go through the budget.

First up are the people. Gary and I are working for peanuts (honey roasted). Neither of us can afford to work for free for 18 months and we're making about a quarter of what we could get with "real jobs" but we do need to eat and pay rent.

Everyone else is working below what they could get, but I do think it's important to pay people. I don't feel getting people to work for free ever works out and usually ends badly (and friendships) or you "get what you pay for." The reality is that when someone works for you for free, you aren't their top priority. They may say you are, they may want you to be, but you rarely are and you end up dealing with missed deadlines and hastily done work.

It's important to have team members that can work as professionals and you pay people that are professionals. You should respect people's time and talent and pay them for their work. It's what the Kickstarter money was for after all.

Everyone is budgeted in at 5 days a week and 8 hours a day as we're trying to keep normal hours. I have no doubt these hours will go up towards the end of the project, but I try to never budget crunch time, it's a dangerous precedent. It's a cost we will have to manage down the road, either by hiring someone new, spending for extra time, shifting resources or cutting content. There is enough slop built into the rest of the budget to cover some of this, but I never want ink to paper, because then crunch becomes real.

We do have two additional artists budgeted and yet to be hired. We don't know if we'll need both of them, but I've budgeted them just in case. We might need help with animation and there are also a lot of close-ups (telephones, control panels, bulletin boards, etc) and ancillary screens that aren't on Mark's schedule right now.

There is a line item for an additional writer. We made the decision to go with full Monkey Island style dialogs and I don't feel confident I can get all those done with everything else I need to be doing (like budgeting).

Testers, testers, testers. One of the most important and often forgotten roles in a game. It's money well spent because not testing will cost you down the road in emergency patches, dissatisfied players and crappy review scores. The original budget had 3 testers, but I added a 4th when we added the Xbox. I over budgeted for testing and it's an area that will probably come in under budget (ass, prepare to be bitten).

It's important to distinguish between testing and beta testing as they serve very different functions. The paid testers on a project are there to (primarily) find and help squash bugs. This is a paid role because it's grueling work and, quite frankly, not a lot of people are really good at it. Testers don't just "play the game". They are "testing" the game and that often involves countless hours of playing the same 5 minutes over and over, trying to get an elusive bug to appear. Testers need to write clear and concise bug reports and endlessly regress bugs to make sure they are fixed. It's a hard job. Good testers are worth every penny.

Beta testing is different. Beta testers (an unpaid role) are still finding bugs, but what you're really looking for are big picture issues, like puzzle complexity, game flow and story clarity. You want beta testers to "play" the game like normal players will and get feedback (mostly through silently watching, analytics and debriefs). You want to turn 50 beta testers loose and see where they go and what they do.

Next we come to Music and SFX. Musicians usually charge by the minute, so if you're going to have 15 minutes of unique music and they charge $1000 a minute (not uncommon), then your budget is $15,000. That $1,000/minute includes a lot of exploration and revisions and mixing. If you're saying "Hey, I'll do your music for free" you need to ask yourself if you're willing to spend weeks exploring different styles and tracks while getting constant feedback, then spend months composing it all, then additional months of making little revisions and changes, then producing 3, 4 or 5 flawless mixes. It's a lot of work and all the while, you have to hit deadline after deadline. And this is all for a relatively low budget game.

Next up on our journey through budget land is Translations, Voice Recording and Mobile. I'm kind of rolling the dice on these. I don't have a good idea what these will cost so I've padded the hell out of them and I expect this is where a lot of the slop will come from to fill other leaks. I got bids for voice acting and translation then added 30%. I have no idea on iOS and Android. I just chose a big number. This is where the voodoo of budgeting really plays out. If we had a producer, they would be spending more time nailing these numbers down. I've added enough extra that I feel comfortable.

On to Events. This is for stuff like PAX, Indiecade, E3 and other events we might want to show the game at. All this is really marketing and PR. It's also where we will pull extra money from if we get in trouble down the road. Not showing the game will screw its long term hopes, but not finishing the game is worse. Plus, it's a number we can scale up and down as needed and it's far enough down the road that we'll have better idea of how we're really doing.

Then it's on to the really exciting part of the budget: Legal, Accounting, Software, and the always important Misc. Assuming we don't get sued, these are fairly predictable and fixed expenses, but don't forget them.

And finally, the Kickstarter physical rewards. We have a fixed budget that was based on our final Kickstarter pledge numbers. It's probably around 25% too high, but that gives us some flexibility to make a better boxed copy or use the money elsewhere on the project. Or, we might have estimated wrong.

At the bottom is a total. I look at that each month and look at the bank balance. So far, we're fine. But that's because I worry.

One thing that is not on this spreadsheet is the money that is currently coming in from Humble Bundle and new backers. It's not significant, but it's not inconsequential either. I choose the leave it off the budget calculations because it provides this small margin of error.

We are planning on some new stretch goals in the next few months, and those are also not in the budget because if we don't make the goals, they won't become expenses. If we do, then all the numbers will be adjusted to account for the new work.

It's also possible that we'll move resources around, spend less on an artist and add a programmer. Budgets are living documents.

One thing to note, and I'm sure it will raise some eyebrows, is the monthly burn rate. That's a lot of money to spend each month. No one line item is very large, but they add up and can catch you by surprise. This is a pretty barebones project (but not scrappy) and it still costs $20K-$30K a month. It why when I look at other Kickstarters asking for very little money and they have a three page long team list, I get skeptical.

I hope this was informative. There are a lot of ways to do budgeting and I'm sure there are better ways, but this has always worked for me.

Please be respectful that we're sharing a lot of information with you, not only to be transparent, but also to educate and inform. This is how games are made, they take time, cost money and it's a very messy process.

- Ron Gilbert