#weirdness from kms
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i am again forced to be the only one asking WHERE'S ICHIBAN
#snap chats#hello chat fumbled the biggest bag of my life and looked like a major dumbass while i was at it i wanna kms but we ball#anyway WHERE IS HE CMON WHY IS HE BEING EXCLUDED HE'S A PROTAGONIST TOO#ill never tire of the weird exclusionary nature when it comes to ichiban in merch like wtf#like remember when those statuettes were coming out and it felt like months before they showed off previews of ichis progress#i cant remember if it was colors specifically or something i just know kiryu and majima's were previewed early#and the whole time i was like 'how come ichi isnt there with them wheres the preview for ichi'#anyway these look great i just wish ichi had one#not that id buy it but yk. id certainly like to look at it from afar
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the suffererrrrrrrrr
#I be rushing these drawings but IM SICK IM FUCKING SICK IM GOING TO FUCKING KMS UGHHHHGGGGG 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔#So I stuck w the idea. Fugo’s pc box is now the host of virus Nara’s organs ❤️#And he’s forced to listen to his heartbeat. Loud. Every second of the day.#And I’m making him khs bc there is NO WAY you wouldn’t go insane from that#Lowkey I was thinking ab the tell tale heart bc while the story is unrelated the heartbeat thingie inspired me ig#Ibispaint tools are saving my life I love the squiggly line setting thing#I have learnt the basics of ibispainting….. when do I get my certificate to become an ibispainter#I fucking hate this man’s hair I will probably rework it#It looks good in my other art style but not this one idk 💔#Is the text legible#Fugo my baby it’s not the floorboards#Something took over me and made me use something that isn’t a shade of red or pure white/black.#Idk feels weird to use gray#It probably sounds rlly weird of me to say that but 😭#jjba#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojo's bizarre adventure#pannacotta fugo#Jjba au#au#alternate universe#numerical guillotine au#Digital art#ibispaintx#Listening to suki suki daisuki (ghhh animation memes…..) and I get even more inspired by the covers aesthetic#I HEAR YOUR HEART BEAT TO THE BEAT OF THE DRUMS ‼️‼️‼️ but it’s making you cry and sob and fret
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I JUST SAW FOUR ADULT REDTAILS????
#theres been one around here for a while now at least and she had her mate with her through the spring and summer and he recently came back#and i thought i saw a third one a couple weeks ago but i just assumed it was one of their offspring from last year#but i just saw 4 and they all had their adult plumage ?????!!!!!!!!#they were all within a half km of each other too it was so weird#this is literally so cool theres at least 4 red tailed hawks and 1 coopers hawk#rambles#birds
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MY DAD WENT THROUGH ME PHONE
HE SAW ALL THE SHIT IVE BEEN SAYING ABOUT HOBIE 😟😟
AND THIS BOARD
AND THE FUCKING JOSH HUTCHERSON BOARD
LIKE I MIGHT AS WELL JUST FAKE MY DEATH AND MOVE TO KANSAS TO START A NEW LIFE
#IVE BEEN SAYING SOME PRETTY BAD THINGS ABOUT HOBIE TOO#LIKE “TILL HES FLASHING LIKE THE SUPERSTAR FROM MARIO CART”#AND THAT ONE POST WERE I SAID THAT THE DUDE ON THE THREE CHEERS FOR SWEET REVENGE ALBUM COVER NEEDS TO MAKE A WHIMPERING AUDIO#AND ALL THE SLUTTY HOBIE FANART#GOODBYE#hobie#hobie brown#josh hutcherson#he also saw the Spotify playlists😭#like the playlist I made for hobie#it’s just the title that’s weird#and the fucking Gerard way moaning compilation#ima kms#just end it#i’m so done#might not even talk to me even more
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OH MY GOD ADAM RAKI IS SO ME THEY WERENT LYING
#OH NYGOGODDDDFHGGG#finallly watched it and hy shit km . HOLLY SSHIITTT#couldnt stop stimming i was so so happy ouuhgaghhhgggcacagagdt#also. not happy. bad stimming and flushing and nauseous from all the awkwardness#the infodumping the weird looks the judgement the misunderstandings the social anxiety#it was like having my own life put on in front of me fuck holy shit#that movie. wasnt very great though like all things considered#genuinely made me really sad that hes just so completely alone and misunderstood#and that even the person he loved and wanted to be with was ultimately not right for him#because she is. ABLEIST. like dont know why the only r slur in the movie is out of HER MOUTH for NO REASON#dojt even get me started#their mimicry and parallel play and all the ways she did try to understand him made me so happy#but she just didnt oj god let me in there please#OH MY GOD HE SAID NTS AND IT MADE ME LEAPS INTONTHE AIR#AUTISTIC POTRAYL WHERE THEY ACTUALLY USE LINGO FEOM THE COMMUNITY ..!??!!?#HOLYLGGG FUCK#hes so fuck fuck fucj i actually gor sweaty hes so me#charlie countryman i am coming for you next#and then. spacedogs fics you will be MINE.#after what he went throufh in that movie i need to see him have strange silly yaoi . please god#AHAHHGGGH HE EATS THE SAME FOOD EVWRYDAY AND EATS IT SEPERATED HE HATES CHANGE HE HAS MORE THAN ONE HYPFIX/SPIN#AND INFODUMPS ABOUT INFORMATION HE KNOWS IN GENERAL NOT JUST HIS SINGULAR INTEREST#DOESNT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF DOESNT KNKW HOW TO DOE OH MY GOD HES SO ME. LIKE GENIJNELY#IM RUNNING AROUND ACREAMING AND HE STIMS!!!!! BOTH POSITIVELY AND NEGATIVELY AND FOR STIMULATION AND WHEN UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!!!!!!#HOLLYLFHSHABHAHHA%A AGGGGRESAHAVHRGRVTNT#adam 2009#adam raki#spacedogs#i mentioned them. im a fake fan for now BUT SOON. SOOOOONNNN#charlieog
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i love pedro pascal and i know him from older things and better things but i think its so funny how his career started skyrocketing around the time he starred in that fuckass sharkboy and lavagirl "sequel" in 2020 HAHA
#no hate to OG sharkboy and lavagirl tho its one of my favorite movies idgaf AHAHA#i knew he was in mandalorian since 2019 but EYE started keeping tabs on him from We Can Be Heroes AHAHA#actually the only older things ik him from are kingsman and mandalorian n i barely watched mando n i didnt recognize him in KM BUT YKWIM#dyou think marvel saw his 4min screentime in this like damn he should be our mr fantastic in 5 years#sometimes i start posting about very specific movies and i fear someone will catch on to which commentary youtubers i follow HAHA#not that theyre controversial its just weird to think ppl will recognize AHAHA#i wish there was a way to emphasize 'i' i dont like how its supposed to be captial i cant make it stand out lmao (thus the 'EYE' HAHA)
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life is so hard i just wanna bullshit write a fic to get out my sickness frustration but that same sickness is making me UNABLE TO !!!!!!!!
#kms kms kms#doctor needs to hurry tf and LOOK AT MY MRI PHOTOS !!!!!!!#bitch give me that fucking laparoscopy so we can see if its endometriosis or if its the weird stupid vein thing that they saw#im full of anger and rage in my heart#i havent had a break from the pain and its soo annoying bc i wake up at night bc of it and can't sleep bc of it#i cant even sit without pain im stuck laying down#all i have in life is sonic fanfiction . my only savior#i literally just want them to schedule the surgery so i can go on stronger pain meds for a short amnt of time before the surgery#im so tired of this shit#i feel violent#LMAOOOO
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everyone is being weird to and around me. i want to go home
#walked in on my boss and supervisor losing focus and having a consensual workplace relationship and then came home and walked in on my#roommate doing SOMETHING weird (sprinted to the front door to let my cat into the entry/bar me from entering right away? why. wtf.)#i would like to not exist or be perceived anymore for a bit. i seem unable to prevent myself from intruding on people just by acting normal#and doing what i usually do. im so embarrassed i could die btw. the workplace thing was too much im going to kms#.txt
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if anyone saw a post saying we might go on break…. No you didn’t ^^
#bsd rp#ooc post#my bad it was just a really bad mood swing guys#istg this disorder is so weird#i can from wanting to kms to wanting to kill someone else to feeling the literally the best person ever to feeling like the worst person-#ever +more in the span of 5 minutes
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realising I'm blocked by, like, several mutual-in-laws and popular fandom blogs is really doing great things for my mental health
#[through gritted teeth and a bloody nose] people can block whoever they want it doesn't have to be personal-#but i always wonder like. what was the post that did it? was i too annoying in their tags w my rambles one time? should i kms?#am i just the worlds worst and most annoying person ever ? perhaps#my ocd...#was it the unrelated discourse or a fandom opinion? are my politics wrong?#who knows. i will never know because they do not remember doing it and it would be fucking weird to ask#i like the blog im talking about and my mutuals reblog from it all the time#so its like 'oooh shiny new post to reblog!' and then i get a bunch of error messages#like oh ok#:/#the rsd
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bonanza pirate au. a ranch can be a boat
#the thing you have to understand about me is that i could not know less about cowboys coming into this fandom#for starters i don't live in the united states#i've also never lived more than a km away from a major body of water in my life#i enjoy doing historical research for fics but i am fighting an uphill battle on this one#so most of my fic ideas involve putting them in situations i'm more familiar with writing about#it's hard out here for a guy who writes almost exclusively slash and weird aus+crossovers in a canon-compliant gen-centric fandom#but we stay silly#bonanza#my posts
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system things is who's fucking idea was this
system things is guarding my headmates from texting our ex
#dissociative system#plural system#system#system stuff#system things#plural#traumagenic system#system memes#alters#actually traumagenic#🔭🌸#🔭?????#🔭🪲#🔭planetary system drink LESS OFTEN PLEASE#when it becomes days in a row it's not good for us#what if i texted my ex tho#what if ramona backed off and i texted my ex#planetary system might be getting a fucking boyfriend tho bc this guy likes us SO MUHC#i showed him my blood vial and he was on board with it#he called me emp and goth and i'm niether#he's also 1.5 years younger than me and i feel weird about that#also unpacking so much trauma from my ex and idk if i'm mentally stable enough for this but i like.. attention#he thinks i'm pretty#thinking about texting my ex#SL DRJNK DRANK SO MYHC VODKA AND JACK DANIELS PLEASE DONT MIND ME#DONF LOOK AT ME#the more i unpack my trauma with my ex the more im like.. she was manipulating me right? but i feel guilty about that#planetary system wonders if their the problem and like YEAH they're mentally ill but.. not the biggest issue their for sure#am k going to explain my system to a cishet guy???#he called me babygirl and like BRO OKAY BHT KM MOSTLY NOT A GILR
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A fair warning I wish you well for when you see the new jjk leaks cuz it only just got worse. I have absolutely no words to describe it other than a hot trash fire right now
i just fucking saw them...my poor baby megumiii😭
i said i wanted gojo back not to kill megs, bro hee suffered ENOUGH! im convinced gege doesn't know what to do with hus characters anymore. what is with the "are you __ because your the strongest? or are you the strongest cuz you were __? questions. WE HAVENT EVEN GOTTEN THAT ANSWER FROM GOJOOOOOO
is gege trying to draw parallels to gojo and sukuna? gege all of a sudden trying to throw some actual characteristics and backstory on sukuna MID-FIGHT is insane bro.
if i dont get both megumi AND gojo back...gege will be hearing from my lawyers bc wtf???
#ʚ☕️ 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘸/𝘮𝘦 ⋆｡°✩#its ridiculous#ALLLLLL of gojo's work as been undone in a matter of a chapter#i do believe he might come back based on the material from the chapter#but he's gonna be heartbroken beyond compare of the child he raised and grew up with is actually dead.#i mean HE fucking died for megumi and now it's all over???#and itadori is CONTINOUSLY sidelined like this story isn't about HIM#im going to kms omg#gege does not know what to do with his characters#there is likely going to be zero closure on most of the situations with the characters and i am two seconds away from fucking dropping#the manga bc gege doesn't know how to write#or am i just not seeing the vision???#im all for weird and complex storytelling#but it doesn't seem like gege actually knows what he's doing#but i digress#im going to wait for next week and see how i feel#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk 237#gojo satoru#megumi fushiguro
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'dont trust how you feel after nine pm' can I trust how I feel at one pm
#🌌#reminding myself my pf group LIKES ME AND HAD BEEN BUGGING ME TO PLAY W THEM#actually the thought of ppl liking me is rly weird#but i still sent a message and immediately muted the server chanting 'kill kill kill' in my head#(upgrade from going 'im gonna kms' over n over believe it or not)
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I'm so stressed 😫
#vent#work has been kicking my ass#(completely my own doing since i insist on overdoing it every shift)#and then there's cat issues and friend issues and family issues and life issues#all the while there's still a little voice in my head telling me to kms#and I've been having some kind of reaction to something that's causing my skin to break out#and my room is constantly dirty from all the cats that have been staying in it#and I'm so tired but every time i sleep i get weird confusing stress dreams#everything is too much and part of me wishes i could just go into a coma or something so I don't have to deal with it
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this morning i had a dream that rhys darby died near my friend’s house in key west (there was a hurricane) (he was also going hiking???? not something they have in key west) and i was so overcome with misery when i realized they wouldn’t be able to film more our flag means death (and i felt personally responsible) that i woke myself up. this dream also featured me saving the life of a seahorse that was in a pool behind my friend’s house and an extremely emotionally stunted phone call with my mom
#jillian.txt#morning. i guess#i would say good morning but it’s not. if it was a good morning i would not have had that wild ass dream 😭#wait this dream also included my roommate posting some pictures of me onto tumblr from the beach bc i guess she was there too#and i was like i look so weird in these photos i’m going to kms why did you post that to tumblr
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