#what a brilliant and harrowing scene

[orbiten]

We stare at that universe so far away, but you have owned it. You are such a prize. What are ya?

Doctor Who: Wild Blue Yonder (2023)

[c0nn0rsseur]

Okay but WHAT IF it was Nines instead of Sixty in the Cyberlife Tower chapter? Hear me out.

I mean I love Sixty so much, but imagine if Cyberlife had sent the upgraded model to torment and end Connor, that would’ve been poetic.

Nines could’ve bragged about being superior, ”equipped with the latest technologies” and stated how Connor is already obsolete and means nothing to Cyberlife. (I know Amanda already tells all of this to Connor in one of the bad endings, but if it was Nines himself instead rahhh, imagine a better version of yourself degrading you, such a harrowing thought)

Like my friend said, ”Cyberlife would be that petty.” Damn right.

Imo Sixty’s personality and mannerisms suit Nines so well too, tho I usually my headcanon for (deviant) Nines is him being a bit more machine like than Connor, very loyal and a tad bit more calculating but still his heart being in the right place (or thirium pump). I would like to know Bryan’s spin on Nines’ voice, would he have sounded different from the original Connor and Sixty? I know it would’ve been something equally delicious. I think we all have our own idea of Nines because the canon RK900 is a total blank page, so y’all might disagree with me about Nines’ personality. And I think it’s wonderful, it’s like make-your-own Connor, no interpretation is wrong! Sixty tho, he’s a ecoistical lil’ shit, it makes him so much fun too. Tho I like to think he’s somewhat redeemable (if he’d survive that is).

Of course the tormenter being Sixty is already amazing and I enjoy the Sixty vs Connor showdown immensely, imo it emphasizes how Connor is just one of many and not special at all in Cyberlife’s eyes, and so so easily replaceable (even when he’s a state-of-the-art prototype). And on top of it all, a defective model at that. Sixty even thinks Hank won’t notice any differences between the two RK800s and makes a whole ass plan around that fact. So without Sixty there wouldn’t be that brilliant scene where Hank has to indentify the real Connor. It’s an amazing conclusion to Connor’s deviancy journey and Hank’s final acceptance of Connor being alive and his own person. It would’ve been a shame if they didn’t include that scene, it’s an integral part of Connor and Hank’s story. So, thank you Sixty?

The brilliant clip and the shot with the mod in this post are requested from the loveliest Lama (Lama.aep on TikTok, check out her amazing edits, she cooks killer Connor food)! Thank you 🫶

[slow-reader-reads-books]

Lesbingyuan au where it’s the normal set up of post extras Bingge dimension traveling into another universe to find his own Shen Yuan. Except the world he arrives in (and is stuck in, can’t opt out of this gender journey) is a slightly genderbent one.

(hidden under a read more bc this turned basically into a wonkily grammatically tensed mini-fic)

Our darling Peerless Cucumber is a 20 something self-proclaimed straight girl with untapped soft butch potential, and is currently recovering from the harrowing trauma of the sunk cost fallacy. She’s spent a lot of time spending money on, reading, and participating in the online fandom of Proud Immortal Demon Way, and she’s currently also dealing with the fact that all her hard work in making herself heard to Great Master Airplane was seemingly for nothing. You see, Shen Yuan had the brilliant idea to create an account that appeared to be a perfectly demographically targeted straight male fan of YY novels who could critique Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky as his fellow but also his better and be listened to and receive great accolades from all frequenters of Zhongdian Literature and be validated for her hate of his writing.

“Airplane’s stupid pen name is a dick joke, I guess I gotta make mine one too… Just to, you know, seem legit and like we have common ground.”

What this charade accomplished was very little, but Peerless Cucumber did become very infamous for three things. One, his nitpicking (“It’s hardly nitpicking if it harms the integrity of the whole story1!!”). Two: his Luo Binghe fanboying (“As a protagonist he’s clearly just a cut above the rest when it comes to soul and wit, the story just rarely ever shows it off”). And three: his skipping of the steamy scenes (“I highly doubt this near identical scenario that also happened twenty chapters back but with a different wife of the week with this exact same cliffside flower giving off the same aphrodisiac mist to Bingge and new wife below will now suddenly be of any plot consequence for the next arc. It didn’t last time either, SKIP!”).

His fervent online activity garnered him the reputation of being an Airplane anti-fan, but also the assumed personality of a submissive simp who hates the easily dominated women that populate Luo Bingge’s harem. 

“lol thats why he must like mingyan so much. she never let bingge push her down. cucumber-bro must want a girlfriend who’ll chain him up and whip him! hes a pervert just like the rest of us, just a worse type kek.” 

Shen Yuan, when looking at such reply comments, gets shiver-inducing flashbacks to when her meimei left her BL comics out for everyone and the Buddha to see. She accidentally witnessed frightening scenes of thin, long-limbed men pushing each other down, tying each other to beds and cracking whips on skin until they shed blood, tears and semen, the shou begging for the gong to stop and the gong never listening. 

Shen Yuan tries to put such things out of her mind if only to preserve in amber the precious, innocent image of her meimei she knows to be true, but also secondarily to focus on the insulted male pride she’s supposed to be feeling after being accused of being a wussy submissive deviant in bed. That sort of accusation requires an in-depth 10,000 character response in order to remain in character as a straight male YY novel connoisseur.

Shen Yuan, as Peerless Cucumber but also as her true self, was undoubtedly straight. Staying in character, Peerless Cucumber made sure to extol the beauty of characters like Liu Mingyan— “She’s an intelligent and cold beauty and is written with a clear and vivid personality! A true equal for our Bingge on the battlefield and in matters of the heart!” As well as occasionally Ning Yingying— “She’s not the boring choice, you all just don’t know the special value a loyal shijie character brings, even if she does lose 99% of her personality to that one singular trait…”

But don’t get it twisted! This is a part of her performance! In real life, logged off and touching grass and breathing fresh outdoor air, she’s your run-of-the-mill average girl who is just a part of the pack. 

Her goals in life are simply not ambitious, is all. If there was a competition with ten available spots to win, she’d have no qualms placing tenth and simply feel honored to have participated. If there are ten girls and nine of them bag a good boyfriend, Shen Yuan doesn’t mind being the tenth who gets unlucky. She’s just kind to her meimeis and jiejies like that! As if she’d take that away from them! They'd probably been wanted those boyfriends for a long time! 

Shen Yuan is hardly a sore loser, and she knows the great importance of girl code and female friendship.

So, Shen Yuan being the normal average and totally straight and cisgender girl that she is decides to wallow in her Airplane-induced misery by going to a con, donning her homemade Mobei-jun cosplay. She worked hours of her life learning how to sew just for this project to the point her family thought she was finally thinking about settling down and learning wifely skills. 

Unfortunately for her ignorant family she’s actually just investing in a really elaborate excuse to cross dress. Well, it’s not really crossdressing, it’s just cosplay! Cosplay is totally different and not about taking on the gender of a character, but their larger identity! She didn’t want to explain this to them, and internally felt afraid and hesitant about it, as if they’d view her as weird for wanting to do this, so she didn’t bother to try at all.

So, Shen Yuan in her 160 centimeter/5 foot 3 inch glory decked out in dark blues and blacks, fur lining the shoulders of her outfit for style points, and wearing a long white wig styled mostly loose but with a few thin braids, chances upon a particularly striking Luo Binghe cosplayer. Not just any Luo Binghe cosplayer, but the best one! He’s tall, must be over 180cm/6 foot but also svelte and willowy in surprising ways. His hair is long and flows down his back from a ponytail ornamented at the base with a thin metal guan. Parts of his cosplay seem very benign, but others seem meticulously crafted and exquisite in quality, especially that sword at his hip! Just looking at it intimidated her, yikes! Job well done, cosplayer!

This Luo Binghe also had the most beautiful and delicately boned face she’d ever seen, eyes dark and deep and highly reflective like that of a lake on a dark and starry night. The cosplayer’s voice was also deeply melodic and enchanting.

This cosplayer… is also a woman! Shen Yuan nodded to herself internally, yes that must be it! No man looks like this in reality, this is a fellow female sufferer of Proud Immortal Demon Way impersonating a fictional man for similar psychological reasons as her. A surge of female loyalty spawns in Shen Yuan’s chest, and she doesn't even bother resisting the urge to walk over and strike up a conversation with this Luo Binghe.

She spat out her name in quick order and immediately started on the topic of female character writing in the novel. The Luo Binghe cosplayer was looking at her quietly and with a heavy amount of gravity, ink-brush eyebrows sitting elegantly low above her eyes in attentive focus. What a good listener this lady is, Shen Yuan thought. She can’t remember when someone last listened to her this closely. She hypocritically chooses to not pay attention to that train of thought any further. “In a world like Proud Immortal Demon Way,” Shen Yuan began with slight smarm, “who would choose to be a woman? I certainly wouldn’t if I wanted to see the interesting parts of the world that drew me into the story in the first place. A male protagonist can explore it freely, but the female characters are all locked away in either the marriage bedroom or the highly isolated harem palaces. Great Master Airplane clearly didn’t eat enough walnuts as a child, he must have some sort of brain deficiency when it comes to writing proper characters— ” 

The tall Luo Binghe cosplayer suddenly spoke up. “Choose?” “Hm? Yeah, I mean, in a world like that, there’s basically no choice, yeah? Gotta serve the narrative and readers and all. But the real world doesn’t have a narrative, we only have ourselves and each other to guide us. So we just do what we want, figure it out as we go. Like us two! We wanted to dress up as these male characters from this asinine story and attend this con and we figured out how to do it! We’re kindred spirits, you and I, we’re zhiyin!” “So when you leave this con, you will also choose to take this manner of dress off and wear something else?” “Obviously. Though, my go-to outfit is just a big t-shirt and sweatpants, or athletic shorts. This kind of thing is the extent of me dressing up.” Shen Yuan didn’t notice, but the Luo Binghe cosplayer’s eyes mildly glazed over in irritated confusion at the unfamiliar terms. Nor did she notice the slight expression of planning that developed in that gaze, as if they were imagining a future shopping expedition to find an outfit Shen Yuan would want to dress up in that wasn’t a facsimile of Luo Binghe’s right hand man.

“I… also want to leave this con and wear something else.” “The busyness getting to you, huh jiejie? You must have gotten here a lot earlier than I did, you poor thing. I guess this is it, it was nice talking to you—” “I don’t have any other clothes with me, and am unable to go back home. Can you help this poor one, jiejie?” “Jiejie—” Shen Yuan coughed. “Am I… wait you can’t go back home? Did your ride ditch you or something, aiyah what a scummy thing to do! I do have extra clothes on me, though I don’t think they’ll fit you. But let’s go find out. I guess if I have to take care of you like this, it does make me feel like a jiejie. Your height made me assume you were older than me, haha.”

Shen Yuan laughed, and the Luo Binghe cosplayer rapidly relaxed and took on an easy smile. “An innocent mistake. Jiejie must often be assumed to be younger than her actual age.” Shen Yuan hummed absent-mindedly. “Eh, not really. I’m only 22, and I think I look it. It’s you who looks like a jade immortal, uh, meimei.” She stuttered when she realized she hadn’t yet caught the other cosplayer’s name, and for some reason it felt weird to just call her Luo Binghe without her also LARPing along as Mobei-jun. Shen Yuan by this point had taken the tall meimei’s hand, it pale and slender much like the rest of her, and had been pulling her along towards the public bathroom to make use of her backpack’s change of clothes, walking along the wall to avoid foot traffic. However, the moment she had finished her sentence and called the other one meimei, the Luo Binghe cosplayer suddenly slammed her free hand on the wall and yanked hard on the one Shen Yuan was holding, pulling her in close to herself, caging her in from behind. Shen Yuan squeaked and found herself crowded against the wall. Her back was encased in a warm and dark heat and she could see above her that jade-white hand curled tightly in on itself, heel practically grinding against the wall. It looked like it was trembling slightly. An earth-shatteringly tight grip squeezed the fingers of her still held hand to the point of hurting slightly. Shen Yuan winced at the sensation.

Shen Yuan heard sharp, heavy breathing above her. Not knowing what to do nor quite what was going on, she squeezed back the hand that was keeping hers hostage and leaned back slightly. Comfort is what she’s doing this for, right? Feels like the reason she’s doing it. 

Shen Yuan felt the other cosplayer jolt behind her. After a tense beat, a forehead slowly dropped onto her shoulder. Shen Yuan was wearing fur along the top half of her outfit as a part of her Mobei-jun cosplay, but nonetheless she could feel the vague contour of the other’s nose through it, burrowing deeper into its warmth. Shen Yuan now felt awkward for only bothering with faux-fur for her cosplay. But with that face resting upon her shoulder and an odd sense of vulnerability wafting off of her, a sharp sense of broad awareness filled Shen Yuan's mind mysteriously. Her mind filled up with sensory information on the one behind her, naturally taking note of every detail with ease.

“Meimei…” the Luo Binghe cosplayer trailed off, muffled slightly by Shen Yuan’s cosplay, but also seemingly by her own emotions being stuck in her throat. “Can I really be jiejie’s meimei?” Shen Yuan didn’t really know what to do or how to respond, so she simply continued to lean her weight back onto the other. She then pulled on the elbow that led to the hand positioned above her until it was brought down far enough for her to grab properly. Shen Yuan took both hands in hers and placed them in front of her in a comfortable position. They were slightly cold, so she rubbed at them with her thumbs.

The Luo Binghe cosplayer picked her head up and looked down at the sight with watery eyes and a warbling lip. Both of her hands were cradled in that grip, gently held in front of the shorter’s stomach in a tender and intimate fashion. Their arms were bent parallel and their front and back slotted together in a way that, to the taller one, felt predestined.

“Can you, what kind of question is that, of course you can. But, I’d like to have your name too, if you don’t mind? Only calling you meimei sounds like I’m calling out to my real little sister.” Shen Yuan laughed and looked up over her shoulder nonchalantly. 

Somewhere in the distance, she can hear people giggling and snapping pictures of the two. She felt a twinge of embarrassment. Of course this moment looks compromising from the outside, they’re cosplaying Luo Binghe and Mobei-jun!

Shen Yuan was suddenly working very hard to maintain a cool poker face in front of her very tall and newly minted meimei.

Bringing up her real little sister and then suddenly being thrust into this type of self-aware of cringe violently and nonconsensually summoned forth invented images of a dog blooded BL scenario that wouldn’t be out of place in her real meimei’s leisure literature.

Fellow con goers, please have mercy on us two women and don't be thinking of what I'm thinking! We’re merely having a pure hearted, early friendship bonding moment! Skinship is very much common and normal between people like us, disregard the kabedon! Totally normal female friendship is blossoming here, get your homoerotic dog blood tropes out of our personal lives!

“This one is called… Qiu Bingbing.” Her voice hitched and quavered with some sort of ineffable, delicate emotion. “Bingbing, ah? Written with the same character as Binghe, meaning ice? And Qiu, is that with the character meaning the autumn season or the character meaning a grave mound?”

Qiu Bingbing hummed and nodded lethargically to the first question and spoke up for the second, hesitating slightly. “Qiu as in autumn.” “What a pretty name, “autumn ice”. You fit the bill of Luo Binghe perfectly, but with a name like that it’s nearly a pity to go by something else. You’re a miraculous find in a place like this, Bing-mei.” Shen Yuan complimented with abandon, eager to make her new friend feel good, and turned around. Still holding one hand, she impulsively took the chance Qiu Bingbing’s still bowed head offered and patted it softly.

She did that for a while, not paying attention to anything else. A euphoric smile opened on Qiu Bingbing’s lips. She was lost in the moment too. 

The rest of the world fell away. As long as Luo Binghe, no, as long as Qiu Bingbing can worm her way into every crevice of Shen Yuan, she’ll be fine. He before was always grasping at any semblance of peace and security only for it to slip through his grasp like sand, but she’s found it. She’ll nestle in and hibernate inside Shen Yuan’s veins and she’ll never let go. She will never.

“Let’s go get you those clothes. Good thing I like them oversized, they should be mildly presentable on you, even if they aren’t anything girly.”

“I can live without anything girly, anything of yours will do.”

“That’s good to hear, let’s go then.”

[onaperduamedee]

Hi ! I know we never talked, and I don't want to hurt you even more by making you think about this more than necessary, so feel free to ignore me

I just read the addition you made to your post about WOT, and why it's so difficult for you to deal with the fandom and the whole situation rn, and I wanted to say thank you. You put into words what I feel, too, and it almost made me cry. The whole part about not letting it contaminate all the joy that came before and not destroy your creativity is exactly what I'm struggling with since Thursday, too, so thank you for saying it, I guess? I don't really have a point other than that, so yeah, just thank you, and I guess good luck for dealing with this whole mess ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Thank you very much for your message and for understanding. I'm so sorry you are in the same place because it is the most harrowing feeling in the world. It's such an incredibly lonely and useless sensation. It is one thing to be shocked by a show's decision, it's another to have that decision change the way you see the story and the fandom so profoundly that it rewrites your own history with said story. I have several WIPs I don't know what to do with because I was waiting for the finale to provide certain scenes for gifsets or drawings. 

It's like opening the fridge to make a dish you had bought all the ingredients for and discovering they are rotten. Did I use the crème fraîche yesterday? Were people sick? Now do I cook something else or try to run to the store although it's probably too late? 

I have so much stuff that I want to create still! Gifsets and doodles and metas! But who am I going to share that with? With fans who have always treated the queer characters like they were on borrowed times? Who have tolerated the presence of gay fans and now that those fans are upset they are to be reasoned with like children? Who wholeheartedly agree with the showrunner that there was never anything more to Siuan's story than this, Moiraine's tragic girlfriend? I would feel silly to share my art with that knowledge. 

Ultimately what I mourn most profoundly is the loss of the community. I always knew some fractures were deep; they are inherent to fandoms and can never be mended. But for a moment, while the show had two lesbians as part of the main romances, it seemed like the corner in which gay fans are generally confined was not a corner but the whole playground. It felt miraculous to know that Moiraine would have a powerful arc as Rand's mentor and Siuan, in a smaller capacity, would go on to weave a brilliant tale about resilence with Egwene. But it was never part of the deal.

The deal was that the apotheosis of Siuan's story would be death, and their happy ending will likely happen in death. And most of the fandom is fine with that, while I cannot find it in me to be.

I don't really have an answer against that rotting feeling and the way it is making me question my enjoyment of past interactions. I guess I will retreat to more private spaces for sharing my art and thoughts because I cannot stop creating and talking about this universe that means still so much to me. But as I said, the show and its fandom have been tainted and perhaps it will clear out with time.

For now, there's just a lot of love I don't know what to do with. 

So I'm really glad you reached out because it does make me feel less alone to find other creators stuck in this in-between, shallow quicksand that refuses to let go or swallow the light entirely. I hope you find something a way out of it as well. Thank you ❤️

[wayward-robin]

No spoilers past the current ep if possible folks! I’m going in blind!

3x02 – Sink or Swim thoughts

Oh my goodness what an ep! Big shout out to the crew for doing such an amazing job with a very ambitious set.

Loved the water stunts with Buck being thrown around at the beginning. Clever way of showing how powerless people can be in the water. And I know why it was, but I will admit that the water being so clean was mildly funny.

Chris’ actor is just mind bogglingly good! All his scenes were brilliant.

Buck playing games with Chris to distract him from the bodies was cleverly done but good grief this show loves traumatising already traumatised characters, doesn’t it?! I mean in the last what 6 months(?) Chris has lost his mom and Buck got crushed. Now this? Yikes!

I think Bobby only has himself to blame with how Buck is turning out to be as a firefighter. Bobby refused to quit on that guy and his stepson when they were stuck on that boat. Bobby can believe Buck’s a bit reckless all he wants but Bobby can’t argue he isn’t reckless himself after that stunt!

I didn’t think both would survive but hey, they’re out on a rescue boat at least.

Maddie and her drowning victim - in his attic no less! - was so sad! All the ways you can die in the aftermath are scary to think about but drowning in your attic is unique.

Athena’s highway incident with May was harrowing. Athena just did her thing and got control and as scared as she was May really stepped up. I’m so glad the woman she was looking after was saved! Go May! She really is Athena’s daughter.

I cannot believe Eddie has gone this entire ep and not realised Chris and Buck are in danger… ah the suspense!

And Chris has just vanished over the side of the fire engine?! What?! OK I am trusting this show that it won’t kill off my favourite kid character but holy crap. I feel like I need a lay down after this but I also really, really need to know what happens next!

Loving this opening arc! I thought it would be really hard to top the earthquake but they’ve definitely outdone themselves here!

[starg0ld]

Fragmenta Vitae (Prologue)

art creds: drosaxx on twt

❝ After albedo inevitably loses control, he pays the highest price by killing the person dearest to him. ❞

Albedo x Lumine (new note: originally meant to be an Albedo x reader, I've decided to turn this fic into an Albedo x Lumine. sorry for the short notice but as I was working on the next chapters I thought it fitted better this way. honestly I believe that a Lumine centered narrative can also be somehow neutral for self immersion. I'm trying to apply changes but tumblr doesn't work as I'd wish, tough I do not want to post it again. so, I'm sorry if the writing feels strange somewhere. if you want to check the other, better, versions, look at my AO3 and Fanfiction.Net account (also @/starg0ld).!! ))

Cw: death, murder, blood, slight gore, angst

words count: 2438

n/a: I had a lot of fun writing this first chapter!!! Which, more than a first chapter, is actually a sort of introduction to the story. The plot is based on the lore of one of my Genshin OCs, but I adapted it to make it more accessible for everyone. It's inspired by an old roleplay and one of my favorite movies, Poor Things (which I warmly recommend). Also, to me, Albedo's corruption happens just like in this fancomic. I highly encourage you all to read it because it explains exactly what happens to corrupted Albedo in my fic, and most especially because it's just so good and well-written to not be read.

"The universe, the sable essence of the starry void."

"Earth, the accumulative memory of time and being."

Many times throughout his long life, Albedo had imagined the moment when the precarious control he held over himself would shatter. He wondered what it would feel like, whether anyone would be able to stop him before he brought ruin upon everything, even Mondstadt, the city he had come to grow fond of. Each time he tried to envision that terrible eventuality, the scenario would shift, always different, yet eerily similar. There were unknowns, variables beyond even his rapid and analytical mind. No matter how far his thoughts could reach, there were things that even a brilliant alchemist like him could not predict.

"Soil, the origin of alchemy, the basis of all life."

Rhinedottir, his creator, also known as the infamous alchemist Gold, had always been forthright about his nature. She had never sought to conceal the potential faults in his very being, the price of crafting the perfect human, a prototype of divinity itself, a being who, in theory, could make the heavens tremble with his arcane essence. Yet Albedo had always dismissed such concerns, considering them distant and improbable, a possibility that almost didn't even concern him. That was until he had tasted the forbidden thrill of Khemia.

"The universe is the dark essence of the true starry sky, and the earth is the accumulated memories of time and lives. The chalk: that is you. The earth is where alchemy gets its name, and is the basis of all life. And this..." She demonstrated her technique before him as a huge life form burst from its culture tank in a shower of shattered fragments.

"...This is new birth."

Only then Albedo realized how fragile his understanding of the world truly was. There were far fewer certainties than he had once believed, but one truth remained absolute: meddling with the natural order always came at a cost.

"...Chalk, the substance from which primal life is molded."

The scene of him losing control had played out exactly as he had expected in his most tormented nights. It had happened countless times before, in the depths of his mind, each instance no less harrowing than the last. And yet, this time, something was different. This time, the nightmare had taken a turn he never dared to foreseen.

After meeting his dearest friend, Lumine, Albedo began to hope. Perhaps this mysterious girl from another world could be the key, a catalyst capable of neutralizing his transgression before catastrophe struck. Not that he didn’t trust his fellow knights and colleagues, but sadly, not even all the strength of their best warriors could have been enough. Albedo had no desire for his friends in Mondstadt to see him descend into something unrecognizable, least of all Klee, the child he had come to see as a sister. When he had met her, she gave him something even more precious than certainty, beside stealing his heart. With her, Albedo found a rare stability, a feeling he had never known before. Her smile and laughter lightened the weight of his turmoil, leading him to gravitate towards her. She was enigmatic, mysterious, a weaver of arcane arts, yet her charisma and charm had captured his mind. Albedo learned so much from her, from her creativity to the knowledge that sometimes seemed to test the limits of his own. Slowly, his world had softened, and for the first time, he dared to believe that perhaps, things did not have to end in disaster. As far as possible for a being like him, he could even live a normal life.

But fate had never been this kind.

For all the terrible outcomes the alchemist had envisioned, he never imagined this. Never had he thought that, out of all the people in Teyvat, it would be Lumine standing before him, facing him, fighting for him and against him, willing to sacrifice everything to save Mondstadt or him.

His memories were already fractured, blurred at the edges, but he could still recall the moment with painful clarity: the cold bite of a blade piercing his flesh, the sharp jolt of pain that, to him, had almost felt like a relief. Yet, a part of him that was not fully sentient kept finding new ways to attack her, to inflict the same amount of pain, if not worse, death. Both had begun to bleed, crimson on the carpet of white snow that covered the icy ground of Dragonspine.

And yet, her tears, warm and relentless, had rained down upon her cheeks, reddened by frost and fatigue. Through the haze of his faltering consciousness, he could heard her voice, distant yet desperate. Words he couldn’t fully grasp, but their meaning was unmistakable. Trying to bring the man she fell in love with back.

She had begged him to stay.

Begged him not to leave.

Begged him to think of Klee, of the little girl who would never understand why her brother was suddenly gone.

And the blood continued to flow copiously, carrying itself with the aftermath of the battle, the two exhausted and far too wounded.

"No matter how far apart we are, my soul and yours will always be intertwined." she said once, looking at the same sky that she dedicated to him every time.

Albedo hadn’t fully grasped the extent of the injury he had inflicted on Lumine. They had been locked in battle for quite a while, and the young witch’s energy was gradually fading. Blood surrounded them; she had lost a significant amount, and soon her blurry vision began to getting concerning. Despite her condition, she had still managed to stab Albedo in the chest.

Now, they were both laying together in the vast, icy wasteland that enveloped them. Their breaths were heavy and faint, both exhausted. However, Albedo eventually sensed that he was starting to come back to his former self, even though he felt weak and the pain was so intense it felt almost hollow. He could barely hear whispers, his beloved’s fingers tightening around his tense body. He began to feel a strange sensation crossing through his fibers like a stream, as if a hand was lifting him from the weight of his own flesh. A realization struck him as if another blade had been thrust into his heart. A bluish halo surrounded his wounds, suddenly lighter than the rest of the snow. He couldn’t believe that she was gathering her last strengths to perform that extreme gesture, a miracle and the greatest of sorceries at the same time.

A life for another life.

An extreme act of love and desperation. Lumine had performed a miracle, bittersweet, imperfect, a desperate attempt to undo what should have never been. For a moment, it had felt unreal, like slipping into one of his many dreams, visions where he had rehearsed, time and time again, the ways in which he might face his worst fears.

Albedo had never imagined, never dared to even consider, that he would awaken from his state of pain and confusion only to find her lifeless in his arms. The shift had been instantaneous, a cruel reversal of fate he could not comprehend. His hands, once steady, now trembled as they held her cold, unmoving form. Disbelief took root in his mind, slow and insidious, creeping through the cracks of his shattered reality.

His breath hitched the moment he saw her. His heart clenched, his stomach twisted, and the world around him blurred.

He dropped to his knees beside her, trembling hands reaching out as if afraid to touch, afraid to confirm what he already knew. But the moment his fingers brushed against her bloodied skin, the dam inside him shattered.

A choked breath left his lips. Carefully, so, so carefully he pulled her lifeless body into his arms, cradling her against his chest. She was limp in his grasp, her head lolling slightly as he adjusted her, pressing her close as if he could somehow shelter her from the cold that had already begun to seep into her skin.

She was gone.

His hand trembled as he brushed her hair back, fingers ghosting over her face in a motion that had once been second nature. Now, it felt hollow. His grip tightened as a sharp gasp escaped him as grief struck like a blade to the chest, raw and unbearable. His breathing turned ragged, erratic, as the reality of what had happened sunk into his bones, coiling around his heart like a vice.

It was his fault.

His arms locked around her, his entire frame shaking as he buried his face into her hair, squeezing his eyes shut as if blocking out the world would make this moment unreal. The tears burned at the edges of his vision, threatening to spill over. He couldn't hold them back.

His voice was shaking, broken and raw. “No… no, no, no…” His tone shook, barely more than a whisper at first, before rising into something raw and desperate. His body trembled violently, his grip tightening around Lumine as if holding on a little harder could somehow tether her to life. He pulled her closer, his hold almost crushing, terrified that if he loosened his embrace even slightly, she would slip away forever. Until a few hours before, her body was full of life, and now she lay cold on the blanket of snow. What a cruel joke, fate! And was he the one who had killed her…? No, Albedo couldn’t even think so. He didn’t want to believe it.

Memories assaulted his mind in rapid succession-fragments of laughter, of quiet moments, of the warmth in her gaze when she looked at him. He had taken all of it for granted. He had been so careless. He should have seen it coming. He should have known.

But he hadn't.

He had been too blind, too caught up in his own thoughts to notice the signs, to save her before it was too late.

His grip trembled, his fingers digging into her bloodstained clothing. His entire body ached, every nerve screaming in protest, but he couldn't let go. He refused to.

She was still warm.

“Why did you do this? Why?” His breath shuddered, his words cracked and broken by the sobs building in his throat. “This wasn’t the plan. This can’t be how it ends. I—I can’t lose you. I can’t…” His usual composure, the mask of control he always wore so effortlessly, shattered in the moment he had her in his arms. The weight of Lumine’s limp body pressed against him, and with it came the crushing realization of what she had done. The responsibility. The guilt. The overwhelming disbelief. It all crashed into him at once, a tidal wave of emotion that left him trembling.

The snow around them had been pristine once, an untouched white expanse stretching across Dragonspine's frozen landscape. Now, it was stained with crimson. Albedo forced himself to look down. The blood pooled beneath them, thick and dark, seeping into the snow like ink on parchment. The sight made his stomach twist violently.

His fault.

His fault.

His fault.

His breath came in harsh, uneven gasps. He felt like he was breaking apart, piece by piece, with no way to put himself back together. And then his gaze drifted back to Lumine’s face. Her expression was soft, but twisted, frozen in time. Pain. She had died in agony. Her mouth was slightly parted, as if she had been trying to say something. Her wide eyes-once so full of life-stared up at him, unseeing, unblinking. A gaping wound marred her stomach, her white clothes drenched in red. Blood had trickled from her lips, from the corners of her eyes, now crystallized into fragile, frozen tracks.

She had suffered. Because of him.

His breath hitched again, and before he could stop himself, a sob tore free from his throat. His hands trembled as they cupped her cheeks, his thumbs brushing away tears that no longer fell.

It was unbearable.

She had saved him. One final act of defiance against fate, one last miracle-her life for his.

And what had he done to deserve it?

Albedo let out a shaky breath, his forehead pressing against hers, his tears mingling with the blood and snow beneath them. She was growing colder. He knew he couldn't stay like this forever. He knew, eventually, he would have to let go

But not yet.

Not yet.

His mind raced, frantically clawing for a way out, some other miracle that could undo what had just happened. But there was nothing. No solution, no second chance. The price had been paid, and Name had been the one to pay it. And he… he was powerless to do anything but watch as her warmth slowly faded.

The weight of it crushed him.

“Please…” His voice cracked, the desperation in it thick enough to suffocate. “Please wake up. Please don’t leave me…”

Tears streamed down his face, unchecked and unrelenting, as he searched for any sign of life. A flicker of breath. A faint heartbeat. Anything. But there was nothing. Deep down, he knew. He knew. And still, he refused to accept it. His alchemical knowledge could no longer solve the irreversible at that moment.

“You can’t be…” His breath came in ragged, uneven gasps. “You were everything to me… please… please come back to me…”

His grip tightened again, his fingers digging into fabric and skin as if sheer force of will could keep Lumine with him. His face, streaked with tears, twisted with pain, grief and desperation bleeding into every word, every breath, every sob that wracked his body.

Albedo did not know how long he knelt there, how long he held her, his tears falling like quiet snowfall onto her still face. He might have stayed there forever, frozen in time, lost in a grief so deep it swallowed everything.

And when help finally arrived, when another voice called out his name, it barely registered.

Because Albedo, the so-called perfect being, the prototype of a god—was broken.

“I can’t lose you…” His voice was hoarse, broken. “I can’t. You’re the one thing in this world I can’t stand to lose… please… come back to me…” His lips parted, but his voice barely made it past them now, nothing more than a whisper. A plea. A confession.

“…I love you.”

And yet, no answer came. No movement. No breath.

Only silence.

[fandom-susceptible]

TDP Rewatch S1E4: Bloodthirsty

I like the way the intro voice changes, I wanna keep track of that now. Pilot was Aaravos, Callum was the second or third? I don't remember the other one though. Viren is the fourth.

Editing in: listen if you like Viren, you may not like my commentary on this episode. I have absolutely no judgment if you do, have fun, go wild, but I personally love to hate him. He is a fictional character. My opinions on him do not reflect my opinions of anyone in the fandom or even the writers. Actually, I think the writers who created him are brilliant - they've successfully created villains that some people will like, who are complex and make sense, but who you can also just absolutely despise! And that's well-done! Anyways yeah I'm coming for Viren this episode, embody the old fanfic rules, don't like don't read.

Rayla is so goddamn cute. I love her so much. Also, feral Moonshadow headcanons are being fed by her first solution being to chew on the binding, not USE A SPELL. Since it's a MAGICAL RIBBON. Darling, dear, sweetheart, baby, Rayla, moonberry I'm wheezing. BOTH OF YOUR DADS ARE MAGES. Why was magic not your first solution darling?

They're also just . . . such teenagers in season 1? Idk, I'm nostalgic now, she really feels like a 15 year old watching this. When I first watched it when I was barely older than she is I was wrapped up in the story, but watching it as an adult, I want to wrap her up in a blanket and tell her she did a good job.

Oh Rayla really does curl her lip like she's showing teeth at Bait when they have a little stare-off, my feral Moonshadow headcanons are LIVING for this.

I love how her clothing design at this point has that little like. Heart shape at her throat, too.

At some point maybe I'll stop gushing over Rayla and watch the rest of the episode.

I think it's neat that her eyes match the shade of her tattoos in nighttime scenes.

Can we talk about Harrow managing to set up a funeral procession for Harrow THE NIGHT AFTER HE WAS KILLED? Less than a day? Poor Soren too, he just says "long night", but this has got to be hell on the guy.

"in his final hours, Harrow called me . . . his brother." YOU FUCKING BITCH. Shut the fuck up Lord Viagra. Lord VILLAIN. HE'S NOT EVEN DEAD AND YOU KNOW IT.

Also holy shit oooh yeah "the princes are dead" yes okay lord villain is a bitch in this moment but I also think he said that in a panic because he somehow thought his Nat20 on the Deception check was gonna propel him through the entire funeral, unfortunately Opeli's player finally rolled a perception check above a 3 and realized that the princes weren't there and he had to cover his ass. This is why he sends Soren to kill them later. He done fucked up and then had to commit to the bit.

I also think that Viren refused to allow Harrow to have a proper funeral out of sheer guilt. He's still him at this point, he hasn't even discovered Aaravos yet. Like he's really just this much of an evil bastard to begin with, but he's a self-centered coward. He can't allow a proper funeral to be had for a BIRD. He knows it would all be fake. He has to minimize this and bluff past it before anyone realizes what he's done, because he's still on edge and nervous because his original plan has gone so far off the rails. Harrow didn't listen to him like he thought, now the princes have absconded with what Viren thinks is one of his most powerful weapons, he's told the country that they're dead, and now he's just improvising and he's super not great at that.

Very teenager moment with the kids, Rayla not even waiting 2 seconds before calling Callum's name again. I also think it's cute that she checked to make sure she got his name right.

I love the fact that they're both fucking nerds. Like Callum's obvious but Rayla couldn't remember the word for whetstone despite also using swords, but she's out here giving a full on info dump about Primal Sources and magic and how it works at the slightest provocation from Callum. She is aLSO a nerd. (I like to think she gets this from Runaan. We see him giving lectures in Bloodmoon Huntress, and he references obscure history facts that Ethari thinks are just stories too, so I imagine he's that one guy who can and will give a complete history of the Moonshadow Elves if given a single chance.)

Rayla claims sky magic requires at least a strong breeze to cast a spell, but we never see other sky mages requiring that. Could be a retcon, but I'm gonna mentally patch it as her just misunderstanding how sky magic works because that's not her arcanum/instinct set.

I love how Rayla gets hit in her own insecurities by Callum's speech, like the shared parallel.

Rayla's clenched fist and recoil when Callum assumes they're drinking blood. "Is that what humans think we are? Bloodthirsty monsters?" Rayla, you say that like that isn't also what Skywing elves think of you, per the ones you met when you were 8. Like it's not a common story in Xadia, to the point that YOUR PEOPLE TELL IT ABOUT THEMSELVES. Granted there's actual history behind it from your POV, but yk.

Man . . . when I first watched this Amaya just was my sexuality for like a week, and honestly, the introduction holds up. (also, all my affection for strawberry boy Gren, the Army Commander who does not carry a weapon)

Actually side note about Gren, lmao, he really just caught Amaya's helmet like tossing it over her shoulder is a thing she does all the time, and I want to imagine honestly that it is. That's why he just catches Callum's staff when the boy throws it after finding out Amaya's engaged. He's just used to this family throwing things around him.

I have complicated feelings about the portrayal of Amaya's disability in the show. I've seen a lot of people analyze it, and the general consensus appears to be that it's mostly really good, but there's a handful of things that don't. . . quite make sense, especially her early interactions with Janai with no interpreter present. I will say for me, I could not figure out if she was meant to be deaf or mute until I read an outside source. The more nuanced take deserves its own post, it just occurred to me again with how she reacts to the boys without them signing or her bothering to look at Gren.

Moment of appreciation for Gren's admirable relaying of Amaya's intended tone and inflection, which you can also see reflected in her face. Also her soft smile at Callum when she reminds him it doesn't help to yell is so cute.

I just needed to appreciate the mimicry down to her expression here, complete with putting his hands on his hips to portray the bit she can't because she's using her hands to talk

Amaya really didn't notice the sheer weight in Ezran's backpack huh?

"I skipped breakfast?" THESE BOYS KNOW HOW TO PLAY THEIR AUNT SO WELL I love them so much, it's adorable. Weapons-grade fucking baguette, lmao. Amaya, did you expect the children to be able to yank your whole sword out of the table?

Amaya having the opinion of Moonshadow elves being the worst kind is interesting, given most of her interactions have been with Sunfire elves, based on what we see later. Makes me wonder what exactly happened to shape that opinion. Many little things, specific events, just information? It'd be interesting to find out, especially in the context of Runaan also having Personal Opinions about humans (that they're all liars/can't be trusted). What if their opinions were based off a conflict with each other years before this? It's not canon and I don't think it ever will be, but it'd be a neat idea to play with in a fanfic.

The kids' sheer exasperation at the suggestion they build a dirt man was hilarious, especially when we follow it up by Amaya's soldiers just casually becoming a construction crew to fix the doors she levelled earlier. Does she do this often? Is working for her just an endless string of "she just kicked down a door again. Fuck, now she's put a hole in the table. DID SHE JUST LEVEL A PILLAR?" (all things she did in fact do in this episode, all in like a day)

Callum warning Ezran not to tell Amaya was something I didn't get as a kid, because I saw how Amaya was later and thought maybe if Ezran got to her first, told the whole story before she ever saw Rayla, maybe she would go for it. Watching it now, no, he's . . . unfortunately probably right.

Amaya looming behind Rayla in that scene was absolutely terrifying I love it. Also, seriously Rayla, did you think leaping up to come down like that on a SHIELD was a good idea? That didn't work for you on Runaan, why would it work on Amaya?

I love Rayla sassing the guards with her four fingers joke, but also holy shit the one guard got blinded and just immediately came at her swinging with the sword. This could have gotten so bloody if it wasn't a kids' show.

Yeah no, telling her AFTER she's fought with Rayla wouldn't work.

I would have paid to see a conversation between Amaya and Rayla after this moment, where they talk about what happened here and what Callum told them.

"Puttin' everyone's lives in danger" is such a loaded line after what happened with the other assassins.

I love what a little shit Soren is with his father. "Crown hour. Crown o' clock?"

Harrow being in the damn bird makes so much sense. I fucking knew it. He's caged and refusing to make noise now, and looks away when Viren taunts him, the same way Harrow did when Viren was annoying him before.

I love the one old lady in the crowd who just looks Mad after she hears about the princes' "death", where everyone else is looking sad.

Notice how Viren isn't claiming the title of king? Just Lord Protector? Bitch knows the truth and it's under his skin.

Opeli sometimes hits me in the religious trauma a bit but her grin when Amaya announces the princes are alive gives me life.

[a-big-apple]

pls can we get your most niche tlt headcanons/ canon points you think are too overlooked or unappreciated/ fanon you see too often mistaken for canon/ juicy background bits on the babytrap or skater AU or otherwise.. the ppl are starving

omg this is exactly the treat i deserve after doing so many chores today, im gonna hit all these categories just for funsies

niche tlt headcanon: this is maybe more a theory than a pure headcanon but i think someone in Camilla's direct family line, either a parent or a grandparent, was from outside the Houses. Hect is an arithmonym, but it's not Sixth, it's a prefix meaning 100. as there's no 10th (or 100th) House, i like to think this is meant to indicate that someone in her recent family tree was an outsider! also she's hot enough for the Alexandrites, which suggests at least one of her bio parents or grandparents was hot enough for the Nireids and perhaps scored some out-of-House genetic material to spice up the Sixth's diversity. also Silas questions her eligibility to be cav primary, and since she's brilliant and badass and the Sixth don't base these things on bloodline/inheritance, there's no reason for even a prig like Silas to disqualify her other than some kind of citizenship issue. anybody with at least one Sixth parent is considered Sixth, that's their whole deal, but maybe the Eighth take a dimmer view?

smaller but purer headcanon that has no basis in anything except my gut: i think the "very silly" description of herself that Dulcie sent to Pal and Cam, and the drawing Cam sent back (mentioned in TUG), is a reference to this classic of ancient tumblr

overlooked/underappreciated canon moment: at this point i dont think there's anything i have noticed that i haven't seen at least one person blog about, but one of the tiny little things that gives me shrimp emotions is Gideon in the pool scene, after she's had this intense thing with Harrow, and then Harrow starts waxing about her beloved in the Tomb: "[Harrow's] voice had the quality of someone in a long dream. She stared through Gideon without looking at her, and Gideon gently took her hands away from Harrow's jaw. Instead she sat back in the water, buoyed by the salt, her eyes starting to sting from it." she's suddenly being told that Harrow is into someone else, she assumes these feelings she's been slowly catching are doomed before she can even really examine them, she pulls back from the very intimate position they've just been in, and she has a quiet lil cry about it that she won't even acknowledge in the narration. BUT I KNOW WHAT THAT SALT STINGING YOUR EYES IS GIDEON NAV

fanon you see too often mistaken for canon: GIDEON ISN'T STUPID T^T she's not a himbo jock, she's just a jock who doesn't care about necromancy! she also can't sense it, so she naturally has less information than Harrow about what's going on in GtN. she has a baller vocabulary, she's strategic, she's observant, she's super good at what she does, and she adapts to a completely novel situation VERY quickly.

also? i understand why it's visually more appealing to draw Kiriona with her chussy out, or modern au Gideon showing a lot of skin, i dig it, im hot for her too. but Gideon is canonically shy. she doesn't even take off her robes to duel in GtN, and is so constantly hooded that nobody even knows she's a redhead until halfway through the book. Kiriona is buttoned up to the point of wearing a goddamn ascot to cover her neck hole. i definitely understand au situations where her upbringing was different and so she's a little different, that's part of a good au for me, but it still always crosses my mind when i see her with her shirt wide open or her tummy out or in booty shorts or something. she's hot and she wants everyone to think she knows it, but deep down she does not know it and doesn't really flaunt it, except those guns

juicy background bits on babytrap or skater au: hmmmmm. Kiriona would deny it's the reason she hasn't named the baby, but she IS waiting for Harrow. she doesn't feel like she has the right, and she has complex feelings about both the names her own parents gave her. she has a deep-seated sense that Harrow, who is smart and cares a lot about doing things the right way, will be better suited to this responsibility.

in the figure skating au...a minor character from early in the story is going to be very important in the sequel fic, i think.

[velvet4510]

I just want to point something out.

There’s a big reason why we should be pretty darn grateful for Gollum, and it’s not the obvious one.

Because think of what would’ve happened if he hadn’t been there at the Cracks of Doom when the Ring finally overpowered Frodo. If Frodo or Sam had killed him, or if he’d somehow been mentally capable of heeding Frodo’s warning and just getting out of there.

Some who mention this cut straight to “Sauron would’ve won.” Which is an easy assumption. The Nazgul could’ve gotten there, killed Sam, and taken the Ring back to Sauron. But what would’ve happened to Frodo?

I think it’s more likely that instead of quickly killing Frodo right then and there alongside Sam, Sauron would’ve ordered the Nazgul to bring Frodo to him. Someone as malicious as the Dark Lord would probably want to inflict harrowing punishment on the person who endangered his Ring.

And you know what? I think Sam knew this might happen. Sam is not dumb or half-witted in the slightest. This hobbit is clever, smart, downright brilliant. During their trek through Mordor, between having experienced the Ring’s power himself while carrying it and watching it weaken Frodo more and more (especially hearing Frodo directly say “I am almost in its power, I could not give it up”), it must have occurred to Sam that the Ring was going to win Frodo’s internal battle.

Sam had already planned so many strategies throughout the quest. Ensuring they had enough to eat and drink, figuring out how to beat Shelob and break into the dark tower… Sam is a great strategist. As any good gardener must be. It’s in his nature. So I feel like he must’ve figured out ahead of time what was likely to happen, and thought about a possible Plan B to complete the Quest.

And I also feel like his consideration of a Plan B would be less about saving Middle-earth itself and more about saving Frodo. Our dear Sam Gamgee would naturally try to think of every possible option that would prevent Sauron from trapping his beloved Frodo in his torture chambers for years and years.

So, when you put it all together, if Gollum hadn’t been there to take back the Ring, Sam would’ve had no other choice but to throw Frodo and himself into the Fire after Frodo put on the Ring. This would’ve destroyed the Ring, saved Frodo from it, and enabled them to die together like they expected (and, I dare say, wanted). I’m certain this was Sam’s plan. Now, would he actually have been able to do so? That’s debatable. Because it would’ve been an act of will with the intent of destroying the Ring, which is quite impossible to act on in the Cracks of Doom. But if Sam had just concentrated on Frodo and not thought about the Ring at all, considered it an act for Frodo and not for the Ring, perhaps he could’ve done it. Feel free to argue either way.

The likelihood of this plan of Sam’s is why I don’t like how in the movie, Sam is yelling at Frodo “Destroy it! Just let it go! Throw it in the Fire! What are you waiting for?” Essentially echoing the audience’s thoughts, of course … but would Tolkien’s Sam actually say this? No. From everything he witnessed, Tolkien’s Sam knew that Frodo wouldn’t be able to let it go and prepared himself to make the ultimate sacrifice to complete the Quest. This is a nuance that the screenwriters clearly didn’t pick up on, or just ignored in favor of making Sam a voice for the audience. But doesn’t it make more sense for Sam to say nothing in that scene, as he does in the book, because he already knew what would happen?

This is why I’m thankful to Gollum. If he hadn’t been there, there’s a chance that Sauron still would’ve lost, but there’s also a guarantee that Frodo and Sam would’ve died in the worst possible way … if not at Sauron’s hands, then Sam would’ve had to kill himself and the great love of his life.

Thank you, Gollum, for ensuring this didn’t happen and saving our favorite hobbits. Even though saving them was no part of your intentions.

[brilliantorinsane]

Space Seed:

Really good episode! Pity about the racism

And the sexism. Not that there aren't plenty of issues in the portrayal of women mixed in with the show's earnest progressive overtures, but I found Dr. McGiver's storyline especially rough. I did like that the abuse of Uhura was her breaking point though, and that she gets to decide her fate at the end of the ep.

Ricardo Montalbán is brilliant. Half of how well this ep works comes down to how intensely charismatic he is. I love the scenes between him and Kirk for that reason—Kirk's own charisma is one of his primary tools, but its drowned out in Khan's company.

Damn, Bones is brave as hell!! Not that I doubted he was, but his composure when Khan has a knife to his throat is something.

I love how staunch Spock is in his anti-eugenics stance. Eugenics as a principle seems to unsettle him more than any of the other messed up principles they've encountered. I'd have loved the ep to dig into why this in particular hits so hard for him.

Meanwhile I was with him in being a bit horrified by all the other officers sort of fanboying over Khan. Harrowing to watch a bunch of powerful white boys commiserating over how cool a militant eugenicist is! Not that I disliked the scene—the point I think is that such responses are utterly horrid, and utterly typical (alongside again drawing out the dividing line between the potential or even attraction to evil vs evil action). And I don't know how much I can sit and preach, given how captivating I found Khan.

I also liked Kirk during that screen turning to Spock to say "Mr. Spock, we humans have a streak of barbarism in us, appalling but there, nevertheless ... we can be against [Khan] and admire him, all at the same time." I don't know that Spock (or I) were very settled by this reassurance, but I love that Kirk so rarely (if ever) gets defensive when Spock is offput by an element of humanity, instead taking the time to explain and give him context.

Something really touching when Khan has removed air from the bridge about Spock, barely able to stand, still clawing for any solution, while Kirk uses what appears as his last act to issue commendations to everyone who is dying with him. Fighting for a few extra breaths just to name each in turn.

Then I did laugh at loud at him expending one bonus breath to go 'obviously Spock a gold star too'.

And went right back to sad and touched at Kirk gasping out that he wants all responsibility for the loss of the ship to weigh on his record, with his crew receiving only praise.

The entire command team refusing to join Khan even to save Kirk hits so effectively after how well they've established the depth of their care and loyalty to him.

[genreneutralfilm]

Top 10 Movies of the 2020s So Far

As we reach the mid point of the decade I wanted to look back and talk about some of the best (in my opinion) films of the decade so far. There really wasn't any criteria I considered other than picking movies that had a great impact on me and if I believe they will continue to be viewed as classics in the years to come.

Honorable Mentions: The Fabelmans, Wicked, Avatar: The Way of Water

10. Challengers

Luca Guadagnino's exploration of passion for sport and how that can lead to the downfall of a life and relationship, both platonic and romantic, is dynamic, sexy, and complex. Every piece of filmmaking is top notch here from the performances to the cinematography to that techno-inspired score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross.

9. The Zone of Interest

Jonathan Glazer creates a truly haunting and distressing juxtaposition in this film about domesticity next to the harrowing life of those effected by the Holocaust. The Zone of Interest's sparse plot adds to the uneasiness; showing the domestic life of a wife to a Nazi officer while the soundscape creates a horrifying picture of what is truly living next to them, a concentration camp. A harrowing, but necessary watch.

8. The Brutalist

I went into The Brutalist wanting to hate it. I just couldn't understand why a movie needed to be that close to four hours long, but as soon as it started I was proven wrong. From the beginning notes of the score to the last moments of the epilogue Brady Corbet's historical epic about architect László Tóth and the promise (and failure) of the American Dream is all encompassing and brilliant.

7. The Iron Claw

A quiet meditation of the effects of generational trauma on a wrestling family that completely rips your heart out. The biggest win of this movie is that Zac Efron performance, he is staggering in this role as the eldest brother of the Von Erich wrestling family and he holds the narrative completely in his hands. The last scene can get me glassy-eyed just thinkin about it.

6. tick, tick...BOOM!

A film that came out of nowhere and completely knocked me on the floor when I watched it the first time. One of the most honest exploration of an artist that I can think of and Andrew Garfield playing Jonathan Larson is easily one of my favorite performances of the decade if not of all time. There are so many moments in this film I just stand in awe of Lin Manuel-Miranda and how he managed to do this in his first feature film. The "Sunday" sequence never fails to make me cry.

5. The Substance

One of the most inventive and disgusting movies I've ever seen. The visual effects, the score, the sparse but effective screenplay; every element is turned up to 100. Add in Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley giving two of the best horror performances in recent memory, and Coralie Fargeat's jaw-droppingly erratic (but somehow still precise) direction and that is a recipe for a wonderfully gory and deep exploration of beauty.

4. Anora

The most recent Best Picture winner is a deconstruction of the American Dream while also being a modern Cinderella story. Telling the story of Ani, a young sex worker in New York City, and her whirlwind romance with a young Russian oligarch Sean Baker effortlessly weaves us through a screwball narrative while also serving a gut-punch of an ending. Mikey Madison delivers, in my opinion, the best performance of the decade in this film switching from high comedy to a breathtaking moment of heartbreak; this was her a Star-Is-Born-moment.

3. Sinners

The newest movie on this list, but well deserved. Every aspect of this historical-vampire flick is on another level; the score and cinematography are both standouts for me. I will be thinking about *that* scene for probably the rest of my life, and it perfectly captures the theme of this film. I am manifesting it winning BIG next March and think it deserves every good word coming out about it now.

2. Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

Just perfect. I can't really put into words how much I love this movie, but it is just outstanding. A crazy and whacky ride about familial trauma and parenthood while still being chock-full of laugh out loud moments. Michelle Yeoh and Stephanie Hsu specifically are on FIRE in this and that last scene of them in front of the laundromat still sticks with me today.

Number One- Dune: Part Two

Its Dune. I don't really know what else y'all need me to say. Just every aspect is absolutely perfect and will go down in history as one of the best films in history and one of the best sci-fi epics ever. Mr. Chalamet is on another level, and I believe this should have been his Oscar Nomination over A Complete Unknown tenfold.

[kazisgirlfriend]

Viren, TDP, and Narcissism

The Dragon Prince has never shied away from depicting mental health issues.

First we had trauma as manifested by magic.

Then we had anxiety as manifested by magic.

Then we had a look at PTSD and depression in Through the Moon.

Which got me thinking, what sort of other mental health issues has TDP been portraying all this time?

Then it sorta hit me, after re-reading one of the show's novels and @jelzorz's rather brilliant fic here (seriously, go check it out), that the show had been exploring a mental disorder that is extremely popular as a character trait, but rarely discussed in fiction - narcissism.

Narcissism (or Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is one of the more common personality disorders, so it's kind of surprising that it is so widely misunderstood. Usually, people don't seem to have a lot of interest in narcissists outside of demonizing them, and in shows they often make great antagonists (or even fun protagonists) without exploring this inner psyche much more beyond that. So it's natural that narcissism is also explored in TDP as well.

If the title wasn't a dead giveaway, what I'm trying to say is Lord Viren is a narcissist.

I should probably preface this with a couple things. First, I'm not saying that Viren is a psychopath. Psychopaths don't really care what other people think of them, while narcissists are constantly preoccupied with how other people see them. Narcissists deeply crave validation and respect from others to feed their egos and self-worth. Narcissists also don't have a problem telling right from wrong; quite the opposite, in some ways narcissists are not only able to tell right from wrong, they for the most part want to do right because of their desire to be liked or at least as seen as important.

Viren doesn't qualify as a psychopath, but in re-reading his POV and rewatching key scenes from the show, Viren quite easily meets the official definition of a narcissist. His desire for recognition, even and especially in high-stress situations, reaches alarming levels. His love for his children is genuine but it's clear he sees them mainly as an extension of himself.

More importantly, of the nine signs of narcissistic personality disorder, Viren meets a,uh, breathtaking number of them. Namely all of them.

A grandiose sense of self-importance

Viren kept his gaze steady. It seemed the other rulers had not doubted his lie. They accepted at face value not only that Ezran was alive, but that Viren had been made regent. And why wouldn’t they accept it? In a more rational world, it would be true, and the council would have entrusted me with the leadership of Katolis.

Book 2: Sky - Chapter 17 "Summit at the Pentarchy"

Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited power, influence, or success 

For once, can't these imbeciles treat me appropriately? Maybe when I save them all from Xadia I'll be greeted with greater respect. "I suppose 'Welcome Lord Viren' would have been too much to ask," Viren said.

Book 2: Sky - Chapter 17 "Summit at the Pentarchy"

A belief that they are special and can only be around people who are important or special

They all want to meet with you. They think of you as the leader of Katolis. Viren could barely wait for the meeting. These leaders had only seen him on the sidelines. But he knew all about them.

Book 2: Sky - Chapter 17 "Summit at the Pentarchy"

A need for excessive admiration

Was he really ready to give his life for thousands of regular citizens? People he didn't know and would never meet? But on the other hand, he would be remembered forever as a hero. "I can help," Viren said to Harrow.

Book 2: Sky - Chapter 19 "Heart of the Titan"

A sense of entitlement

Viren’s face went white with rage. He’d come here with the best of intentions, prepared to give his life, and the king was too stubborn to even listen. He curled one lip up. “Oh, are you sure you wouldn’t prefer ‘Your Royal Highness’? Or ‘Your Esteemed Inimitable Majesty’ perhaps?” Harrow didn’t deserve the loyalty Viren had been prepared to offer.

Book 2: Sky - Chapter 9 "Viren's sacrifice"

Taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends

A lack of empathy

“Ohhhh. Yes, who wouldn’t have a problem with dark magic?” Viren sneered. “It’s clever, it’s brilliant, it’s practical. You are too stubborn to make use of the tools that are available to you. It will save your life, just as it has saved the lives of countless others.” “It’s a shortcut,” King Harrow snapped back. “We may not pay now, but we will pay the blood price eventually.” “Now you’re starting to sound like her,” Viren said with a smirk.

Book 1: Sky - Chapter 5 "The Letter and the Serpent"

Envious of others or believe that others are envious of them

Arrogance of otherwise haughty behavior

Viren laughed derisively. Such a question could only come from an ignoramus. He looked at the other council members and shook his head, trying to bring them into his confidence.

Book 2: Sky - Chapter 2 "The Breach"

Viren's narcissism drives his central flaws. His hunger for personal recognition eclipses his concern for collective welfare, even when Katolis faces catastrophe. His children become conduits projecting his ambitious legacy rather than cherished loves unto themselves.

However, unlike most shows, TDP doesn't use Viren's narcissism to demonize him. Instead, the show threads the needle by making Viren both villainous and sympathetic as a result of narcissism, since it's both the reason he does awful things but also his shield from the perception of vulnerability and worthlessness.

It's important to remember that narcissists are not only capable of self-loathing, it is often a key part of their condition. That grandiose sense of important mentioned earlier is often a thin veneer hiding feelings of shame, self-doubt, and self-hatred. Obsessive self-loathing is a form of narcissism.

But the show lays bare these vulnerabilities, letting us see his internal struggles to do right constantly brush against his emotional needs that never seem to be met. He walks right up to the line of doing something noble...

...and then shirks at the last minute.

However, just because Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a chronic, lifelong condition doesn't mean that narcissists are incapable of change. And indeed, Viren hits a breakthrough in the most recent season.

One element of narcissism is that they love extremely conditionally, and see their loved ones (particularly their children) as an extension of themselves. Indeed, Viren does "love" his children in this way, particularly Claudia, who he sees as people he can mold into his own image. Unfortunately, for Claudia, this seems to have Gone Horribly Right.

But in the end, Viren recognizes his own behavior and breaks out of it. He sees how pushing Claudia to be like him - to be an extension of himself - has brought her to ruin.

While it's fun to watch characters who are blind to their own faults and lack of self awareness, it is equally rewarding watching Viren reach this moment of clarity. Most narcissists are oblivious to the harm they cause others (since hurtful behavior is just collateral damage to having their emotional needs met), but Viren now realizes the harm he has caused Claudia. Witnessing Claudia’s self-destruction, his conscience awakens to recognize his culpability for exploiting her for his own ego.

Treating her downfall as his personal failing is a real breakthrough for him. Which is why it makes sense that, once Viren reaches this level of awareness, taking a principled, noble stance against his own personal interests quickly follows.

Anyway, those are just my takes on this deep, complex character. If you made it this far, thank you for reading!

[weltonbmarsland]

1, 4, 13, 29 for the in n9 asks please <3

Thank you for these, darling!

1. How did you know the show? Back in... I guess it must have been... 2015? The ABC (public broadcaster) here in Australia was playing s1 and s2 IN9 eps late on I think it was a Tuesday night. I was randomly happening upon them over a few weeks, but definitely recall seeing A Quiet Night In, The Harrowing, and the first four eps of s2 as they went to air. I knew Steve and Reece, of course, because I'd been watching them in all manner of things since 1999 - "Ah yes, the League Of Gentlemen and Psychoville blokes in their latest thing..."

4. Which episode made you officially 'a fan'? This is a deeper question than I first thought it was! Thing is, after seeing those 6 eps from the first two series as they aired here, I then didn't see any IN9 until last year, after a torrid period of family stuff (sickness and death and more sickness and rosters for caring and stuff stuff stuff) and the way I approached the by-then-8-series (and I don't know why I decided at the time to do it this way, but I did) was that I watched the then-8 series backward but in order for that series - if that makes sense (and if probably doesn't). So. I started with s8 and watched it e1 to e6. Then watched s7, e1 to e6. Then s6, 1-6. Then s5, et cetera, all the way back in that way until I'd watched everything back to the start. Weird way to do it, I know. *shrug* So which ep made me officially a fan? I think I'll have to say Merrily, Merrily. In this weird backward-by-series way I was watching, it was the 7th ep I saw and they'd been knocking me down with some bloody great things in s8 (Mother's Ruin! The Last Weekend! [my partner hovering in a doorway for the bathtub scene saying "They're from League Of Gentlemen, yeah? They are SUCH good actors!"]) but Merrily, Merrily is an episode of television I find just SO profoundly moving. Even before it gets to all the big stuff about grief and disconnection and regret and tragedy that it does. The thing that really fucking got to me in this episode? That first stunning drone camera shot from way up high as the pedalo moves out from the smaller bit of lake into the bigger, wider bit of lake. I burst into tears, just looking at that, not even knowing what was to come up story-wise. Just that tiny craft with those vulnerable friends on that wide expanse of water - so deeply, profoundly affecting. I think that'll have to be the moment I officially got fannish about it all. And *then* after working my way back all the way to A Quiet Night In again (after having now experienced 8 series of brilliance in reverse order), I remember (re)watching Reece in his burglar outfit and thinking "Benjamin Denton! Look at you!" There was no going back from that.

13. Your favourite plot twist? Tricky! They're all so brilliant. These talented fuckers. I'm gonna go with the end of The Devil Of Christmas, 'cos I remember my stomach lurching at that and just truly feeling... wrong. Visceral story telling. Remarkable television.

29. Did you recommend in9 to people irl and what's their reaction? I've been insufferably proselytising about IN9 this past year. Lots of good reactions. Practically everyone's liked it. (some people I tried telling about it had already seen it and gushed back at me) But the reaction I recall most is one-of-my-mates-Steve (there are multiple Steves, so he's one-of-the-steves), who watches an inordinate amount of horror movies because his wife is a horror genre specialist movie reviewer/commenter... We were sitting opposite each other at a table in a pub and I'd just rec'd IN9 with my go-to spiel of "Imagine if Tales Of The Unexpected was done by half of The League Of Gentlemen..." and Steve went very quiet and serious and put his hands onto the table and leaned forward with an almost traumatised look. "The League Of Gentlemen?' he said. "That is the most disturbing fucking thing I have ever fucking seen." Husband of a horror specialist! :D :D

[gainesha]

BSG rewatch notes, cont'd:

and here it is, the New Caprica arc. which is, and this might be one of the least heretic things to say about BSG, the pinnacle. there are individual episodes, and even small arcs, that I might adore more (we will see how I'll react to them during this rewatch, but Maelstrom, Sometimes a Great Notion, the Mutiny two-parter would all be in my top 10 episodes), but this 7 episodes, from Lay Down Your Burdens up until Collaborators, are unrivaled as a storytelling high point for the show. the surprise element is gone now, obviously, but I still remember the goosebumps I got during the initial airing when the time jump happened, and how I could barely breath for the remainder of that season finale because I was just so exhilarated and electrified by what is happening on screen. that, yes, they *did* settle down, things *did* change permanently - up until they didn't, of course. but these kinds of twists are so much richer than just killing a main character.

and this is just one thing... there are so many more. like the montage at the beginning of Lay Down Your Burdens Part 1., with Bear's Something Dark is Coming music cue, and Athena saying it out loud should be the most cliched thing, but it's instead truly harrowing and haunting even if you don't know what's going to happen to all these people soon. meanwhile, Laura giggling uncontrollably on the way to the debate - the way the writers and the actors are comfortable inside these characters are paying dividends. then the murk of the occupation, the suicide bombings, the show being dark without grimdark (even if I would have wanted to spend more time in this setting, 4 episodes were a great choice, and even if some little developments here and there would have benefited maybe from more screen time, New Caprica never feels as rushed as the Pegasus arc), poor Gatea, the Galactica dropping down, Hot Dog saying "well, this should be different" before flying out... and, of course, Saul saying "not all of them", and then slowly walking away, the heartbreak, my gods.

and yet, Unfinished Business was always my "I would die on this hill" fave episode. it's the one episode I've rewatched most - both versions. I love the flashbacks to a sweeter, more hopeful time on New Caprica, even if some characters have never believed it would truly last. I watched the Extended version now, and I have somewhat conflicted thoughts, because I was thinking which version would I show someone who has not seen the show before, and the Extended version has several brilliant new scenes or crucial longer segments playing out on New Caprica. we need all of Adama and Roslin getting high, Laura's monologue about living in the moment; we need the morning after with Kara and Tigh; we definitely need Dee and Lee in the Raptor; and also, Lee confessing how much she needs Kara. but also, the flow of the originally aired episode are lightyears better, the editing rhythm of the intercutting scenes is magic, and it is gone in the Extended - moreover, the rhythm is all off. and this episode has to be a Dance in itself. (so I would probably show the aired one, and afterwards these 4-5 scenes separately)

the reveal of the reason behind the animosity between Kara and Lee, and why Lee behaves so antagonistically towards here after the time jump, why their dynamics feel so strange, plays out fantastically. the writers manage it so well, especially in contrast with the reveals in Hero, which...

okay, so Hero is bullshit, and I continue to just ignore the retcon of it all. I would be fine with the Admirality being compromised (that checks out), but Adama being the one who "started it all" (even if Roslin dismisses the thought), even just the fact that it was him on that covert mission, because, you know, he is the lead of the show, is a teeny tiny bit Forrest Gump... too much, too neat, and I get that they tried to take the Adama idol and dirty it up, but he has already been humanized and shaded quite a bit during the first 2 seasons, and I don't really know what this adds to the character or the whole main Human-Cylon conflict either that haven't been already said and explored in different, more fruitful ways. it's a shame, because all the regular actors bring their A-game here, Hogan, Olmos, McDonnell all shine.

I adore Tigh and Starbuck getting close

Jamie Bamber is so good conveying how utterly in love Lee is

Richard Hatch is so good

you could paint a mural with all the reaction shots from the boxing matches, inside and around the ring, I love everybody just grinning or glaring or just being cocky as shit

[sonicreducer-band]

lynch

17/01/2025 I learnt upon waking up this morning that David Lynch has left us. It’s difficult to describe how much his filmography, his entire creative body of work and his wisdom have meant to me and countless others, and how many lives he has shaped.  I often think of his quote about how “we are like the dreamer who dreams, and then lives in the dream”. There is no better way of describing the life of not just a category of people we call “creatives” — but every human being on Earth. Lynch’s cinema showed me through scenes that are sometimes beautiful, sometimes harrowing, the power of dreams. Dreams are not illogical, they just have a logic of their own. They are frightening to experience sometimes, but all of them give us something to understand. Lynch showed me that my mind is very generous to offer me even the worst nightmares.  It made me think about a touching news article I read while in Europe about a new and seemingly very effective treatment for sufferers of psychosis. Professionals will create digital personifications of their patient’s “demons” or “voices” based on the descriptions and behaviours afforded by the patient. These simulations are controlled by the professional and through a number of sessions will engage in controlled conversation with the patient, in which the “voice” and the patient come to understand one another and eventually the patient wins over their demons, coming to understand where they come from and what they represent. This often leads to a vast improvement of the patient’s condition and confidence. I think of Lynch’s reluctance to ever outright explain the dreamlike logic of his films — perhaps so that we will engage with his work, a dream in and of itself, as well as our own dreams and nightmares, in order to discover something within ourselves that cannot be discovered through an academic or analytical explanation.  Extending from this, Lynch’s cinema is deeply empathetic. Mulholland Drive and Twin Peaks both handle nightmarish trauma in ways that are both realistic and sensitive. In the most terrifying and harrowing scenes in his films, there is nothing but Lynch’s love and sympathy for his troubled characters. Earlier today I read, and got admittedly misty-eyed over, somebody’s account of how Laura Palmer in Twin Peaks was the first character they had seen who had endured the same horrible abuse that they had been subjected to. Of course we see characters in countless forms of media that face terrible forms of abuse, but it is rare to find a depiction that is treated with genuine realism and sensitivity by the creator. Seeing the responses to that person’s statement showed me dozens and dozens of other victims who found security, safety, and healing through Lynch’s work. There is no better way of showing how the popular magazine appraisal of Lynch as some kind of pessimistic nihilist obsessed with darkness is, put simply, horseshit. David Lynch impacted so many people. It hurts me very, very deeply that he has gone, more than it has ever hurt me to learn of the death of somebody who I do not personally know. He is gone, but his filmography is always here for us. He gave us brilliant lessons in how to dream and understand those dreams for ourselves. He showed a touching and much-needed love for those who have been living with the nightmare of trauma. Lynch’s cinema, which is shallowly described as confusing by some, made life a little less confusing for many of us. Thank you, David. Louie

[8bitsupervillain]

The DEFINITIVE POWER RANKING: The Alien franchise

As ever this list is legally binding, and objectively correct. If you find yourself in disagreement with it, you need to know that's ILLEGAL! I'll have my dad 20th Century Fox throw you in jail.

If you want to just count the Aliens films:

Alien

Alien 3

Aliens

Alien Romulus

Alien Covenant

Prometheus

Alien Resurrection

If you count the Alien Vs. Predator movies:

Alien

Alien 3

Aliens

Alien Romulus

Alien Covenant

Alien vs Predator

Prometheus

Alien Resurrection

Alien vs Predator Reqiuem

I want it to be known though that I like every movie on these lists, just to varying degrees. This isn't a Halloween list situation where I go from the good ones to the ones I hate. I would recommend basically any of these.

Explanations:

For the longest time I wasn't super wild about this one. It was good, but I always held the sequel up as the better film. Rewatching it however I appreciated it a lot more. It went by very quickly, even if the first half is a bit slower paced.

I've just always enjoyed this movie. Again, when I was a wee little baby 8bit I liked Aliens better, but I always held a special fondness for Alien 3 in my heart. I thought it was always so cool how the prisoners tried so hard to fight the alien off in melee combat, and I really like the downer ending of Ripley diving into the mystery lava pit at the end. I always thought it was cool how she held the chestburster in place while taking the plunge.

I loved the violence, and the guns. I still love this movie, but my admiration for it has diminished somewhat because of a particularly harrowing dentist's visit I had once. I had the brilliant idea to watch Aliens while still reeling from a mixture of intense facial agony and probably too much painkillers. Still though, great movie, and well worth watching to see what every sci-fi game stole from it.

This is such an extremely fascinating movie to watch. It sort of defies explanation, because it is an extreme pleasure to watch this movie. It is extremely unsubtle, and it has so much going for it. Then the movie hits one hour, eleven minutes, and seventeen seconds. It's like a switch gets thrown, and it just turns into such complete unadulterated garbage it took my breath away. I highly, highly recommend seeing this movie yourself. It is wild.

I admire this movie for the sheer gall it has to be so completely baffling. It's like they took the criticism leveled at Prometheus and course corrected so hard it basically sailed over a waterfall. Michael Fassbender is an utter delight, and I love the Neomorphs. I hope they have the gumption to complete the David trilogy. I really do.

It's just kind of boring. It's worth watching just to see the Predators get owned super hard.

It tries so hard. It's funny how they have so many human characters in this movie that it just does nothing really with most of them. I like the squid monster, and the c-section operation was legitimately hard for me to watch. The sudden turn of the Engineer becoming a slasher villain to kill our protagonist was pretty funny just for how abruptly that ends.

Even young teenage 8bit didn't particularly care for this movie. The monster stuff was pretty neat, I always thought it was silly watching that one guy fall for the really obvious alien trap and die. I like the way the actor who plays the evil doctor plays him, and Ron Perlman is always a treat.

The one thing I always will remember about this movie is the scene where the Predalien impregnates the pregnant women in the hospital with the chestbursters. The sheer amount of gore is downright comical, so that's pretty fun.

Just for fun, if you count Predator in with these movies:

Alien

Alien 3

Aliens

Predator

Prey

Alien Romulus

Predator 2

Predators

Alien Covenant

Alien vs Predator

Prometheus

Alien Resurrection

Alien vs Predator Requiem

The Predator

Fucking awful movie.