#what's he got at the base of his self...
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I've got the cutest drawing in the works... i have to keep sitting back and take a moment to recollect myself bc its SOOO GOOD AND SWEET AAUUGHHHH
#it doesnt even feature self insert.... but im fhdhdjjdlsl AAAAAA#its funny doing two drawings in one night where neither of them feature self insert JDKSL#i saw the f/ovember stuff and i think im too nervous to actually participate ... but it has got me thinking abt like...#... how do i explain it. how he acts without self insert directly around him ig?#like if im not Right There... whats he doing. whats he thinking. how does he act fjdksl#gotta keep up mr tough guy demeanour around everyone else but if he's on his own...#HMM like what lies underneath all the tough guy act around others AND the expressing gushy softie feelings to s/i...#what's he got at the base of his self...#ME PSYCHOANALYZING THIS BLORBO. HELP. HEY DANDY WHAT ARE U DOING.... SILLY BEHAVIOUR FR#its okay im having fun and dancing around in my little jester hat and shoes SHDJDKSL#i just like thinkin abt what I'd see if i were to peek around the corner at him in another room by himself fjdkdl#like me going to fix up a breakfast in the morning and he falls asleep on the couch while waiting for me to come back...#and i come around the corner and he's SNOOZIN. and i gotta just pause and take it in bc its so cute....#(ノ)´∀`(ヾ)#EN EE WAYZ.... im the silliest billy in all the lands SHDJFKDL goofy silly softie over here fr smh at myself#catch me writing the simplest post and then writing an essay in the tags SJDJDKL#time for ME to start snoozing!! gnight everyone i hope u all have a good night/morning/[timezone etc] ⸜( ˙ ˘ ˙)⸝♡#dandyshucks
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★ 093 // “POV: You Died :("
#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#steel ball run#sbr#johnny joestar#gyro zeppeli#sonic the hedgehog#sth#mighty the armadillo#ray the flying squirrel#offerings#tools used:#clip studio paint#THIS has gotta be the most self indulgent offering yet. The crossover nobody asked for but I wanted. <3#Based off that one meme where you draw your two favorite characters saying the first panel. Except I took it several steps further lol.#I was actually gonna post this at 050 but never finished it. Figured finishing it up would be nice!#093 is thematic too because that's the year these two Sonic characters debuted. :)#Okay so geez. I guess I should talk about Mighty huh? I don't really know how many people know the shrine keeper's Lore.#But I've loved Sonic my whole life. One day I got REALLY obsessed with Mighty the Armadillo in a way I'd never loved a character.#I have nearly all his merch. I have drawn 100s of fanart. I have made several accounts devoted to him. He means a lot to me.#I have a Type for characters... and it's “Nomadic inseparable duos who go at great lengths to protect one another”#When I met Johnny it reminded me a lot of the same love have for Mighty. It felt exciting to feel those strong feelings again!!#When you feel a love so strong you gotta hold onto that tightly and let it give your life meaning if you have to#And so... that's why this shrine exists! To honor what I love and what makes me feel alive. <3
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I was afraid I’d lose him. So I got there late. And… as I entered, I saw him about to take pictures by himself. The first thing that I felt was… I wanted to hug him. No matter how bad I was to him, he’s still there for me. Every time that I’ve fallen or torn apart, he always runs up to me. He’ll come running and hug me. The same goes for this time, where he shows up. Am I happy? I’m really delighted. I really am. I’d like to thank Save for always being by my side till this very day.
DMD Friendship the Reality: It Takes Two EP. 5
#auausave#auau thanaphum#save worapong#dmd friendship the reality#dmd friendship the reality it takes two#b.txt#esmetracks#visualtaehyun#uservid#springgifs#the way i dont wanna tag a lot of ppl bc this set is So Long and so For Me#making self indulgent gifs is kinda fun af guys like yes I would like to see this moment in 20 gifs!#waiter waiter! more auausave! (im literally the waiter and brother. dinner is served!)#ok time for me to ramble abt this whole moment in the following tags#auau really loves save so much… like it's so serious y'all what the fuck……#his facial journey fucking kills me every time (and i have lost track how much i've rewatched this)#the way he really thinks he lost save and then BOOM save enters and auau opens his mouth to say Something but he's SPEECHLESS.#auau tries to play up his cool guy act but ugh u r down bad <3 u get shy <3 u gaf <3#save really has him wrapped around his finger like it's just so so so crazy#you can see in the first few gifs how he really did look so sad/disappointed!! processing it in real time and trying to accept it!!#it's the way save enters too. beaming addictive smile... ok i really. they really got me bad. u ever get self aware suddenly. thats me rn#AGH BUT LIKE ALL HIS WORRIES R GONE BC SAVE IS HERE!!! SAVE CHOSE HIM!!!! AUAU WHO KEPT WORRYING THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE SHOW BC HE KEPT#GETTING SO CLOSE TO FIRST PLACE BUT STILL NOT GETTING IT... BUT AUAU!! SAVE CHOSE U AS FIRST IN HIS HEART!!!!!#and when he asks save if hes happy bc he knows they didnt spend as much time together as they wanted... but ofc theyre both happy to choose#each other 🥹🥹😭🥹 when i watched it i knew theyd end up together so ofc this wasnt a surprise. but it also felt like of course... theyre#already meant to be realhia in your sky. and they clearly get along so why wouldnt they choose each other. BUT THEN I REMEMBERED SEASON ONE#and the auausaveryujin trio thing going on couldve turned out like a tlelattefirstone moment. just cuz theyre supposed to act in a show#together doesnt mean theyll stick together... which i actually love bc its really based on who wants to act together as a koojin(g) waaaah#(but also lbr ryujin honestly wasnt even doing that much like he literally chose himself DKSFJHGD) 'i got a bit heartbroken' is so. it's so#auau. do u hear urself. GOD. dmd friendship is just so awesome. i love schrödinger's dating show so much
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SAID HE LIKES CRAZY GIRLS,
BUT HE HATES WHEN I ACT CRAZY,
IT TAKES TWO TO TOXIC!
FINALLY!!! Finished these pics of jinx I’ve been working on!!!!! HOLY SHIT, these took so long…. But finally… they’re done… pls enjoy this art of my beautiful princess w a disorder. Featuring alternate colors for the big pic and also a closeup! Cuz I rlly like how both the lines and coloring on her face turned out… like the pink gradients w her eye… her deer in headlights expression,, like uve just startled a raccoon digging thru ur trashcan and r two seconds away from getting mauled.. m proud of it!
#arcane#league of legends#jinx#jinx arcane#arcane jinx#doodles#hate and love how hardcore I relate to jinx…#little sisters w dependency issues.. + a whole lot of other issues#anyway the ‘he’ in the ‘crazy girl’ lyrics is in my mind referring to both vi and silco lol#I’m sORRY! I keep seeing ppl hardcore pitting these 2 bad bitches against each other#and it’s like… silco is objectively. morally worse than vi.. vi is not like. a ruthless crime lord#vi IS 100% trying her best and loves her sister. but she still screwed up w jinx#and silco ALSO truly loves jinx. but also screwed up by fucking. trauma bonding w her ghgh-#like.. silco is too close. he’s like. yes go apeshit jinx I support and love you and understand u no matter what fucked up shit u do.#were the same. and that’s beautiful!!! I love how supportive he is…#but its like.. silcos too close. he just became a new person for jinx to glomp onto and base her self esteem around after vi left#and he doesn’t manipulate that on purpose but. he DOES effect that girls mental state. cuz he needs her too#meanwhile vi is too far away… she thinks she knows who jinx is. but jinx has changed… time marches forward. she’s not that little girl#anymore#and nOW! after the finale jinx has NOBODY TO BE CODEPENDENT W..#her mental state has always been so tied up in how the ppl she puts on pedestals view her#and now there’s no pedestal anymore. she knocked down the statues. she’s alone…#it’s interesting….#anyway I’m not trying to say vi is as bad as silco at ALL. just that she’s an equally important building block in jinx’s mind#that has made her into the fucked up lil person she is today. and I think that’s neat.#lol anyway! I’m hyped for season 2….#aLSO GOD DAMN THIS GIRLS OUTFIT IS COMPLICATED. WHY DO U GOT SO MANY BITS N BOBS JINX??? I mean I get it accessories rock.#but u take so much time to draw ghfhg- require so much brainpower#aLSO ADDENDUM. while silco is objectively morally worse than vi his relationship w jinx is genuinely. like. makes me emotional ghgh-#its not perfect. or healthy. but… it’s. the both of them. being seen. and accepted. and loved and understood.. and I love that shit.
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I have all of these extended thoughts on my head about the amazing way themes and character relationships are handled in Iruma-kun and the inclusion of queerness and the handling of the coming of age narrative in this shonen manga/anime
And every time all that comes out when I'm reccing it is "You should watch/read it"
Do it. Go watch/read Mairimashita! Iruma-kun/Welcome to Demon School Iruma-kun
Please.
#mairimashita! iruma kun#m!ik#welcome to demon school iruma kun#i just be ramblin#anime recommendation#manga recommendation#Like okay baseline on its surface it's an isekai anime about a teenage boy who is sold to a demon by his terrible parents and has to go to#school in the demon realm and live there without being found out (otherwise he thinks he'll be eaten)#But it's also a story about growing up and a story about a kid from a terrible situation learning what it means to (and being allowed to)#have goals and ambitions and wants#It's about a kid who gets all his needs met for the first time in his life (and a little spoiled) and figures out he wants everyone to have#that#It's about friendship and bonds and the importance of working together with others#It debunks that usual take about how humanity's base traits are evil and greed and the urge to murder and steal and whatnot through#the comparison to demons‚ who are said to be all of those things at their core and yet in actuality aren't beholden to it#It's about outcasts coming together not letting other people determine their worth and proving just how high they can reach and what they#can accomplish. they force the world to recognize them instead of assimilating#It's about what happens to outcasts who are taken in by bad actors vs outcasts who get genuine support#It's about kindness#It's about how adults should both help the next generation improve while also being their defenders from things they shouldn't have to#handle yet#It's even about the dangers of being fully selfless or fully selfish. How personal desire/the serving of oneself and kindess/the serving of#others should be balanced#About how desire is not inherently terrible and about how being constantly self serving stunts one's growth#And it's also about a human who got sold to a demon and is gonna be the demon king one day#Thinking about this manga makes me want to chew through concrete I love it so much#*how constantly serving others stunts one's growth
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I feel like if Chujin was still alive during the events of Undertale Yellow, his and Clover's relationship would be incredibly rocky. Pacifist!Clover could bring him around to tolerating them (after all, they have that sort of effect on everyone), but it would be more in a "this human is the only 'good' human" manner than a "maybe I should reevaluate my opinions on humans overall because you can't judge an entire group based off (very biased) stories and one bad experience." Even then, that opinion would be subject to change should Clover ever get frustrated or behave "too aggressively" or act in any manner that isn't perfectly docile. If Clover ends up attacking a monster then it's "humans are just as horrible as they were in the war stories, I should've known better" regardless of the circumstances that could've pushed Clover to fight. Suffocating expectations and endless demands for patience when he wouldn't ask the same of a fellow monster.
And heaven forbid he ever meet Clover on a No Mercy Run...
#undertale yellow#i hc that his parents were involved in the war and he was born after monsters were sealed underground#so he's one degree removed from all that trauma which is understandable why he'd be so afraid#but at the same time Blackjack had similar circumstances and he came around to liking clover and judging based on character#instead of by who someone is.#sometimes you need to sit down and realize that the problem is you and your views instead of everyone else but he doesn't strike#me as the sort to do that type of self reflection.#Chujin is a character who is absolutely ruled by his fear. he leaves kanako and dalv alone after they were attacked by a human#to sicc axis on integrity. he hinged his whole career on building guard robots (and judging by some of the paperwork in the Steamworks#he was the only one who wanted to build guard robots).#he destroyed his health and left his wife a widow/his child fatherless to craft a serum to defeat humans.#he experimented on a human (child's!!!!) soul and ordered his wife to k.ill an INNOCENT human.#he literally says that humans are incapable of decency in any form!!!!! the writing is on the wall!!!!!#not to sound like I'm bashing on his character because he did do a lot of good for the underground. he made the honeydew resort heater#and Martlet's balcony. and it's implied he built the bridge between the wild east and Starlo's family's farm with the fox-bell#symbol on that bridge. he inspired martlet to take up woodwork which put her on the path to joining the Royal Guard and meeting clover#he likely did a bunch of other good things as well that never got brought up. he did do some good actions.#but he is not someone that i would call a good person.#(realized i ended up with a long string of tags down here. if someone wants to screenshot it and add it to the post go for it)#edit: i find it utterly fascinating that he calls humans incapable of decency yet acknowledges that there can be a pure human SOUL#what an utter hypocrite! i doubt the contradiction ever even occurred to him!#uty analysis#char: clover#char: chujin ketsukane
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— they accidentally brush hands.
fluff. gn!reader. ichiro, jiro, saburo, ghost!ichiro, ghost!jiro, ghost!saburo.

Note : somethin’ (somewhat) short and sweet! Absolutely not my idea as I saw it while reading some hcs and thought, ‘hey, this is so cute.’ So voila lol. It’s my first time (properly) writing for the ghost versions!! Obvi they didn’t introduce ghost jiro or sabu yet, and ghost ichi barely had any screen time lmao, but I tried my best to portray them with what I think they’d be like in my mind! So they’re ofc ooc, but regardless, I hope you guys enjoy!!

Ichiro is a sweetheart. He flusters at the slightest touch, though he tries to act unfazed, as if he didn’t even notice; it’s only an accident, of course — nothing much else to it. But, for the slightest of moments, you can see his ‘cool’ and ‘calm’ demeanor waver. The slight pink on his cheeks, the mirage of his gaze, even the flutter of his heart.
Reliable and dependable big bro, oh so strong and who you’ve never seen falter — a pure mess at one touch. somehow, it’s cute. His knuckles are brash and rough, yet now they’re oh so delicate and fragile, as if he’d broken the bones in there once more.
He tries to clear his throat and move on — again, an accident; he’s only walking you home after hanging out after all, as friends. He’s a gentleman after all! But you notice how he seems to avoid your gaze the entire rest of the way.
(Oh. Ichiro can’t stop thinking about holding your hand now ; his fingers seem to ache for yours, his heart too. Ichiro sighs embarrassingly as he tosses the shoujo he was reading off to the side. He’s nothing short of a touch starved mess)

Jiro is quick to blush, cute. He, mindlessly, lets out a very puppish yelp (before burning an even brighter pink at how utterly embarrassing that noise was, coming out of his mouth) and is quick to cover himself with the brim of his cap. He can’t help but groan meek; that simple brush makes him weak.
There’s a chill that crawls up his spine and up to the very nerves of his fingertips — throughout his entire nervous system, in fact, an electric shock. And his heart gets all rewired too. It seems to beat to a different tune now.
He’s innocent when it comes to these sorta things; he has a big heart after all and falls hard. He likes you! a lot. So such little things affect him greatly. His knuckles seem to tingle and burn from where you’ve brushed — though, of course, it’s only in his mind. But it damn sure bothers him, Jiro groans.
He thinks about it the whole rest of the day. And his heart skips a damn beat each and every time.

Saburo is quick to pull his hand back. instinctively, that is. Even if his brows contort and lips frown, like he’s confused, grossed out? But make no mistake! He’s actually in shambles on the inside from that simple brush (oh God, he’s a fool). He’s a pure and utter mess, more so than both his brothers. His heart is actually nothing but a pile of mush now.
And even if he looks away from you the entire rest of the way he walks you home from school, even if he avoids you, it’s impossible not to the notice just how bright he burns. Steam may as well be coming out of his head. And his hand, annoyingly, burns hot too. like he just stupidly put it on a stove top.
No, no. There’s no possible way he likes you that much, Saburo groans. It should’ve just been a simply crush, nothing more nothing less. But.. getting this worked up over a simple, accidental brush of the hands? He’s the fool, through and through.

Ghost!Ichiro is surprised — he can’t hide it on his face. He’s usually so suave, so confident and charming; such accidental brushes should mean nothing to him. He’s the one that usually ends up stealing your heart in such little ways, and yet..
He’s not used to such tender touch or the skip of his heart. He’s not used to feeling so weak, in his chest and his knees. And hm, ghost Ichi wonders, why his hand burns warmer than his other.
But, he quite likes this. He likes you, and he likes the way you make him feel so strange and alive on the inside; is this what is meant by a bond? to protect the most precious to you? Ghost Ichi can’t help but grin.
Mira is a wonderous place after all.
(Next time, he probably has the audacity to actually hold your hand and fluster you instead)

Ghost!Jiro likes it. He won’t short — he wants to hold your hand. Ghost Jiro would love nothing more than to be yours. And when your knuckles ‘accidentally’ brush his, ghost Jiro can’t help but grin; I mean, you brushed your hand against his because you want to hold it, don’t you? It all makes sense in his mind.
He takes the initiative and would hold your hand right then and there; simple brushes won’t do, no no. His fingers take yours, and ghost Jiro intertwines your hand with his, giving them a squeeze and holding them tight. just like what a real couple would do. See? They interlock perfectly too, he can’t help but grin, perhaps a bit too confident and full.
He’s impulsive and quick, much more so, and ghost Jiro will let you know exactly how he feels. He may be code, but his heart is entirely real.

Ghost!Saburo is much too cute, much too shy. It’s easy to see just how much that small touch had such a big impact on him; you’d think he’s shaking a bit, at how overwhelmed his system seems to get. but it’s not written into his code! how to act when your heart starts pounding and you accidentally touch hands with your crush.
He holds his hand close to chest, right where his beating heart lay, and ghost Saburo blushes so bright that his circuits may overheat. But, truthfully, he’s happy — almost giddy. Ghost Sabu wonders if he’s even allowed to like you in this way; he knows he’s shouldn’t, but he can’t stop himself from getting too happy at that accidental touch. He can’t help but fall a little harder for you.
And, he hopes you’re fine with him imagining all sorts of scenarios in his mind after this. like, what it’d be to hold your hand and walk down the streets of mira ikebukuro, or to perhaps share an ice cream. Ghost Sabu knows he’s not the best guy around, but he really wants to be that sort of guy for you..

#hypmic x reader#fluff#gender neutral reader#ichiro yamada x reader#jiro yamada x reader#saburo yamada x reader#ghost!ichiro x reader#ghost!jiro x reader#ghost!saburo x reader#hm. i still don’t have a tag for what the ghost ver. should be#idk if you can tell but i love hands-#ghost ichi may have only existed for like two chapters. but he’ll exist forever in my heart 😔❤️#in my mind. g!ichi is the overly self confident ass lol. he relies on himself and himself only as we’ve seen in the chapters#but yknow like those suave charismatic love interests??#and g!jiro. I’m still pondering whether he’d be opposite of Jiro and be v smart and eloquent LOL. or if he’d just be more impulsive#like turned up to the max since jiro is already p impulsive yknow?? but i think he’d be overtly confident too#maybe he’d be v cocky too LOL (that’d be so hot though)#as for g!sabu. that one short screencap we got in the intro chapter of him made him seem v meek and self conscious. like just his mannerism#he seemed so shy! looking away at his arms. so I like to think he’s the manifestation of sabu’s self doubts that he has of himself#so g!Sabu is v self conscious in my mind lol#ofc if any of this turns out to be wrong.. pretend you didn’t read this!!#when the ghost ver. got introduced the only thing i could think of were the 2p counterparts bc of my dreadful h.etalia phase 😔#okk enough rambling in the tags lol#just wanted to get out something short and sweet bc i'm going to be v busy the next few weeks :')#i completely fucked up my time management over the weekend (bc i was dealing with some hormone-based emotional turmoils)#so now i'm behind and struggling. lol
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casey is obvs funny with this rivalry stuff because on the one hand he's very 'well I don't care who I beat' (lie) and 'I don't motivate myself using my rivals' (also a lie) and then he's also repeatedly emphasising that valentino was ONE of his biggest rivals and he only competed against him a few years... like a lil side quest in the story of his career. Those Few Years where valentino was his big rival. whereas dani and jorge were his cohort so he did compete with them for a greater span of time... and this is technically true and does MATTER but it is also extremely noticeable in his output which rivalry he has the most thoughts about. and yes casey would say that this is because everyone ELSE cares the most about That One Rivalry the most and also his opponent being an annoying dickhead means it's the one he has the most complaints about... but at a certain point, it doesn't really matter, because there's still one rivalry you're talking about way more than any other. you can tell that he's at least given jorge's interiority a bit of thought, kinda went 'well he was arrogant but also Learnt From The Error Of His Ways and was maybe misunderstood so' -- but also he's not going beyond that, he's not examining jorge's soul, and he's not even doing any of that with dani. it's very much a rhetorical commitment to those other two rivalries. ultimately the point is that he's doing what he can to not talk up his biggest rivalry TOO much, because, you see. he Did Not Care That Much. (lie.) now objectively speaking this kind of framing literally does not matter, who cares which one of these was the most meaningful rivalry, but it's interesting that it matters to him!! casey's problem is that he is extremely sensitive and cares deeply about what other people say about him, but one of the things he's most sensitive about is the idea that he could let himself be mentally affected by ANYTHING, worst of all his rivals. they cannot be granted that much power over him. and all of this has kinda funny consequences in that he has pretty rigid patterns in how he talks about this stuff that are at times quite convoluted because he has to simultaneously emphasise that a) none of his rivals massively mattered to him, b) That Rival didn't matter more than the others, c) what That Rival did to him was completely beyond the pale, and d) none of that affected him mentally whatsoever. at most one of these is true. there are so many things casey wants so badly not to care about but it keeps spilling out of him anyway, this oozing sludge of resentment and repressed hopes and desires and frustration and longing and bitterness. he keeps giving himself away... he cares so much and he can't stand it
#i do feel bad sometimes using a clip from when he was like. eighteen as my smoking gun piece of evidence for the prosecution#but come on. that valencia 2003 clip is insanely telling. like yeah right you loved beating a guy sponsored by the circuit#it's kinda like dyke!vale tormenting his first gp rival into throwing in the towel. those are the Key Character Traits they're exhibiting#//#brr brr#//ht#i do also think there's some interviews where there's like. some real retconning. like casey that was Not You#that one interview where he was going in HARD about how jorge/dani were confused about how happy he was for them winning#and like casey buddy there's an element of truth to but you could be a notoriously sore loser!! mr 'a podium this far off isn't worth it'#and it's partly stuff he's talked about before with how self-critical he was... but of COURSE it could come across as unpleasant#i am doing my best not to get repetitive so this is the LAST time i am airing this complaint for a couple months at least#but the problem is if you have the starting point of him as like. a straight talking straight shooter or whatever#you do automatically miss a lot of the nuance with which he's constructing his own image#it's honesty based on vibes rather than literal honesty. u can be blunt and calculating idk what to tell u#im so fascinated if the jorge wheelchair story is true... i recently remembered it was also in the broadbent book#and that ducati pr people had like. gotten mad about it. which does fill one or two gaps and makes me think maybe it DID happen#idk there's something quite revealing about it!! casey isn't just a dickhead in the classic athlete mould. he's got a *nastiness* to him#all the aliens are occupational dickheads. only two of them i'd say have a real inclination towards nastiness#//brr brr
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Line!Gravel you make me insane...
#The Line SMP#thelinesmp#linesmp#Graaavel#if for some reason someone actually follows this account. uh. hi. i forgor i made it lol#anyway. i joined into Gravel lore like. 5 hours late but got hit with him going through worlds worst guilt#and self-exiling himself. hes. hes going through it chat. its so bad /pos#i could make paragraphs on paragraphs about analyzing him based off what little i know#and it still wouldnt be enough to explain everything
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being in the DS9 fandom, you'll discover there are so many ways for people to be wrong about julian bashir
#wow i don't like a lot of you#baffled at how a predominantly autistic fanbase can be so contemptful of autistic behaviour#buddies i think you're the ones who are cringe. see i cringe WITH julian not against him#and not even just that#theres the ''julian is stupid about everything that isn't medicine'' thing#fuck you that man is a starfleet officer and he's a genius. i saw him fix a console and i was genuinely surprised because of this shit#''julian is stupid'' ''julian is annoying'' ''julian is insufferable'' ''julian deserves to be bullied'' and so on and so forth#wow. i hate. all of you. and based on the way y'all talk? you guys would hate me too#oh and worst take of all. like on a moral level:#''julians parents were in the right for doing what they did. its natural for a parent to want to have a normal child''#and other such ableist takes. literally i have seen people like that#i saw somebody baffled by that ep being like ''what did julians parents do wrong. they helped him. what is julian upset about''#and holy shit. that is. so fucked up#besides all that. the way the fandom and the show is mean to julian pisses me off#Why Are His Friends So Mean To Him#i have this brain thing where i take criticism of julian bashir as a personal attack. its called autism#sometimes an autistic-coded character in star trek will say something the narrative has deemed as Wrong#and i can tell thats what im being told because i understand media language but im still baffled like ''Whats The Problem''#spock. data. seven. julian. and its like... actually guys its everybody else who is being weird and mean about this#i do find it a little sad knowing that if i existed on DS9 that o'brien and kira wouldn't like me. like damn. i like you guys#anyways i have a lot of the DS9 fandom blocked because they got me at risk of developing a wee chunk of self loathing. and i refuse#i wasnt raised to feel shame how dare you
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I was listening to an interview of Gagne's about her sociopathic condition and some of these parts really resonated with Tobias. Like her mentioning she's masking "right now" (during the interview) otherwise she'd be smiling and blinking far less, the story about how as a child she felt a pressure building up in her and when another kid who was sitting next to her annoyed her at the wrong moment she stabbed them and the stabbing made her feel startlingly euphoric, the way she was discussing empathy as something learned from society and intended to gain something from (a dopamine release/good feeling) because she doesn't understand any actions that are done by neurotypicals for no reason, her experience having to mimic her neurotypical sister to fit into society, the relief she felt when she met her husband who didn't shy away from her despite her unburdening herself to him about all of her (the bad, scary & unnerving qualities/actions/etc included)... there are a bunch of differences between her & Tobias' experiences too, obviously, but at least THESE parts were very on the nose. Especially one declaration that stood out to me: "Doing something morally unacceptable was a way to force a pop of color [in my life]" which is exactly why Tobias does anything he does. That pop of color. That derived amusement. The odd joy that follows which is the only thing he can really feel out of the positive cluster of emotions.
#◜✧ . ❪ muse. tobias. ❫#◜✧ . ❪ tobias ; meta. ❫#I like researching about people with aspd (sociopathic aspd in particular... go figure why...) & I think the clearest glimpse I can get#is from mixing the stories of homicidal sociopaths with the stories of everyday sociopaths. which were/are still criminal in Some regard#but who didn't act on their homicidal or aggressive impulses for one reason or another & instead are far more/basically harmless#It's the most likely approach to help me understand the truth behind sociopathy instead of Just basing things off of common knowledge#bc lbr sociopaths aren't exactly portrayed in the greatest way in media! And Tobias doesn't help much considering his whole backstory#and how That has influenced him make him feel closer to the usual sociopaths we can find in media/news than the less harmful ones#but now that he's also... a little less rigid? or a bit more open?? idk how to explain whatever he's got going around Ash.#but yeah whatever That's called. I think I should delve a bit more into the regular sociopaths' lifestyles & belief systems#to gauge what's the shared ground between All sociopaths (what really MAKES them sociopathic) in various 'normal' contexts#I took the PCL test & everything for him he IS 100% a sociopath. The only issue is they tend to be vastly diff from one another#so I'm squinting at all the Shared traits I see in their books/shows/interviews/etc like I'm a clinical psychologist on duty 😭#One day I should write a long ass meta post about Tobias' sociopathic tendencies bc golly gee there's so much to yap about 😮💨#I do think he'll never be fully comfortable w someone who won't accept Every side of him tho. He's fine masking since he's done that#all his life & he sure isn't gonna stop anytime soon but doing that 24/7 can sometimes be pretty damn irritating. sometimes even exhausting#& obviously he sometimes wants to throw the damn facade on the floor and relax even if he can be unsettling as hell during those times#He will never show his 'real self' to sb he doesn't entirely trust btw. Not unless they're abt to die which erm... not ideal circumstances!#so 99.9% of people will never see the REAL Tobias bared naked to his core personality. Most will get some degree of truth mixed in with#a lot of societal bs that's either expected of him or that he wants to do to obtain their trust/friendship/etc. NEVER the full picture!
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Girl who has only been listening to three bands recently makes an OC
#kinda messy but finally got the pictures in my head out#there's this whole storyline I have about these two characters#one of which is he descendent of another character#who was in a relationship with an actual character who has a real story they're a part of#I've decided for all my stories to take place in the same world#anyway this will probably never become anything#basically she touches this star of indeterminate name#and sees these crazy truths of the universe learns things she never dreamed#and is left with so much knowledge crowding her brain#but the things he really wanted to know (where his parent left to what the end to the war will look like)#she doesn't get#so basically fundamentally irreversibly changed he is just consumed by this hunt to find the star again#the star leaves its mark as well leaving his appearance in that in between state#eventually she finds the star again and is granted this like terrible ominscence her former self completely erased#the god who sent the star sees this knowledge as a gift but really obv it's a curse and tears her close relationship apart#that's basically what the story is sad gays ofc bc it's based off cshr#this world is full of meddling gods and situations such as this#which is how the original original character ended up so messed up#yipee#kestrel calls#chitter chatter#mostly I just needed a character to think about when I listen to this music#so I just made some#kestrel doodles#undescribed
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Also I can't believe I'm saying this about a persona 5 spinoff but p5t is actually... Surprisingly good? The character dynamics within the phantom thieves are much more fleshed out (which is something I always took issue with in the original game), the character screentime is a lot more balanced and mostly no flanderisation (aka yusuke gets to Do Things for once, makoto gets to Not Do Everything thank god, morgana is the most likeable he's ever been to me), the new characters are incredibly fun and executed very well especially for spinoff-only characters, the plot concepts are interesting, the sprites are very fun and expressive, like. idk I just didn't expect it to make up for some of my issues with the main game tbh!! a pleasant surprise for sure
#vi rambling#persona#I HAVENT PLAYED just watched a full playthrough but like. it took me by surprise#spoilers here:#ernesto's design is one of the better persona designs in recent games? giving p2 persona design vibes mixed w some p3 which is ALWAYS a win#toshiro and erina are GREAT. having a persona based on a human is like. something they havent done since p1 which im so down for.#in general their characters are great and not what i expected. i was scared of it being regressive but not at all#toshiro gets flamed constantly and the nuances of his faults are very clear and handled well!!#and well i always enjoy a soppy pathetic suited loser who learns to be self confident.#and they did the smart thing of giving all the thieves a spotlight by having each relate to the different episodes in toshiro's life which#is SO smart thank god. futaba got so much time here!! HARU!!! YUSUKE!!! RYUJI!!!#idk i just was scared of the dynamics being watered down and i arguably honestly got a lot more here than in the original game.#also morgana finally feels like his own character and not an mc voice replacement. hes really great in this one idk#anyways yeah im pleasantly surprised.#obviously there are the expected faults of like well. antags being v narrow mostly and the usual persona dialogue issues and stuff#but overall what a nice surprise
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Thinking about how souls canonically do exist in universe, and how that might correlate to seeing different people as one in the same, all because their souls are identical (pieces of a whole)
#marwospeaking#arc v#I imagine. in a world where souls are most definitely a thing. that you use to communicate with the spirits accessible by cards..#.. and its a phenomenon big enough to base your whole self in them. some call some particular cards Their Soul. even people..#.. who have zero idea about the soul stuff in duelling partake in said stuff without realising because it's that socially ingrained - to th#.. you can kind of get a read of someone's soul. and can probably recognise people that way in time. or a duel.#Unfortunately the Yuboys and bracelet girls have identical souls (within their groups)..#.. and therefore would be easier to mistake as just Yuuya wanting to dress differently and. in true Yuuya fashion. is in costume about it#Their faces are identical. but for Eyes Are The Window To The Soul reasons. they're Too Identical To Be Different People for most people#Yuuto's face was what had Shingo and Yuzu thinking he was Yuuya. A part of his face is his eyes; so in that sort of world it's plausible#Arc v would've been better had it had at least one person who was face blind I think. Minor improvement but definitely funny#also horrifying if even this hypothetical character couldn't tell the difference between any of them#Because that would imply something about how splitting a person works#tldr. they all have Zarc's or Ray's soul in a world where the soul is a confirmed thing that exists and is used in..#.. day-to-day social encounters even if it's not acknowledged by most people. and therefore that might help in why they're very..#.. different but identical.#This is wholly a me thing but. if someone from a world with no confirmed soul existence ends up in a place that does..#(say Zarc getting murked made it really easy to slip out of one reality into another because Oh Boy that's four unstable dimensions..#.. fresh out the oven type of dimensions.) then does that person a) stay without a soul and. a1) dies or. a2) survives..#.. or do they b) suddenly have a soul and is that. b1) grown (painfully or not) as time passes or. b2) fully formed immediately? ..#.. because you need a soul for duelling reasons. so your monsters can respond to you (heart of the cards). at least in universe.#I'm asking that primarily because it actually has implications on how isekai work on a more subtle piece of worldbuilding that gets ignored#but to be fair I don't think you'd think 'oh can this character even duel because they got isekai'd'. because it's ygo and They Gotta#... honestly that's a post of its own but it was a related thing so I think it's fine to have here
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Every sales job I’ve worked has that one item. The white whale. The biggest ticket you can sell. The sale you brag about when you’re chatting with other industry people.
When I sold mattresses it was a split king adjustable base. That’s two twin extra long mattresses next to each other to make a king, but each side can move independently. They’re insanely expensive and honestly kind’ve impractical but it was the biggest ticket thing to sell.
When I sold sex toys though our white whale was the 20lb ass. It was a female pelvis, a cut out from the waist to the tops of the thighs. It was hyper realistic material and cost about $500. I definitely had bigger tickets but not in one item typically.
In my time at the sex shop, I sold three. Each time was completely different in terms of how the guy acted about buying it. The first man was a little embarrassed and shy about it. I was professional and supportive as I rang it up. Once I handed him the receipt he looked at the box. Then he looked at me.
If you’ve ever wondered how big a box has to be to fit a 20lb ass let me just tell you: it’s pretty damn big. It’s an uncomfortably large armful of box and every side has a picture of the sex toy inside on it. It’s not subtle.
“Could I get a bag….?”
There was no bag that existed that could possibly contain all that ass. “Hang on,” I told him.
I got scissors and tape and covered the box in cut up black bags. Looking relieved he picked up his purchase and left.
The next man to buy one carried it proudly to the counter; self assured and not embarrassed in the least. When I said I didn’t have a bag, but I could wrap it for him he gave a hearty shrug and hefted it into his arms, marching out the door with the butt on full display.
The last man to get one was just kind’ve an odd guy. Not creepy, but eccentric. We got along great, and as I rang him up I said, “Well one guy wanted his taped over, and one guy carried it out. What would you prefer?”
“There’s no bags?”
“No store bags. I think our jumbo trash bags in the back might fit it….?” It seemed rude to suggest putting a $500 item into a trash bag, but he wasn’t bothered.
He considered this then said, “Bring me the trash bag.”
When I delivered it to him he still managed to surprise me. Instead of shoving the huge box into it he opened the box. He took out his new $500 sex toy, and all the little things it came with, tipping them unceremoniously into the trash bag.
“There! Now I don’t have to deal with the box later!”
I was slightly stunned but agreed that I could easily deal with the trash. Then in a move I still think about with delight he flung the trash bag over his shoulder like a Santa with a sack full of ass and sauntered out the door.
If this or my other escapades made you laugh you could pop a tip into my Ko-fi! For more like this check my tag "ffs foibles".
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working on one of my new ocs but I’m not sure what to name him. These are all supposed to be the same guy btw, I’m just messing around with different ideas and art styles.
#Haha I bet no one can tell who he’s based on *side eyes the reference images*#I’m soooo bad at naming my guys 😭😭😭#And if you like this genderweird zombie just wait until you see his hooker vampire bestie 😊#I need a name for their story too#Pls I need to be able to tag them and organize my Pinterest boards#ocs#my ocs#oc art#new oc#new oc just dropped#i still have the chickens in the background but I got a bit burnt out#Also this new set of ocs carries more themes of self healing and individual improvement#and Chicken Scratch is more about working for a better world#These new guys are just what I needed rn
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