#whatever its 2:30am and im once again annoyed

[dear-ao3]

guys im gonna be real my biggest fear is ill get famous and ppl will look thro my instagram following and theyll see shit in there that i havent unfollowed since 2016 and theyll find out i was a harry potter fan once upon a time or something

[gywune]

2024-09-13

writing this as i am doing a face mask and listening to pinkpantheress. the moment of peace that is the short time between finishing my shower and going to bed is a moment of bliss that is genuinely unparalleled.

i worked today and i had the most effed up shift on earth (8:00am to 9:30am and then 2:30pm to 9:00pm like WTF) but its okay because i ran into my work crush in the train!!! having a work crush is the only thing that motivates me to go to work so whether i am actually crushing or not does not matter!!! i ran home so fast after the first part of my shift so that i could work on my tumblr and i am finally happy with how it looks yay! the second part of my shift was whatever, i mean, its just work.

theres this guy i absolutely despise at work and i am convinced he thinks im starring at him because why do our eyes always meet. the way he pisses me off is a feeling i cannot put into words he just looks slimy and annoying and and and and

as i am listening to music while writing this i am reminded once again how good music is.. like shit...and apple music's sound quality is genuinely superior. also today at the smoke shop the cashier told me my go to vape flavor is being discontinued so i bought all the stock she had left teehee

feeling good right now, ive noticed whenever i have work or a very hectic day i tend to feel good at the end of the day which makes my thinking spiral; i am born to suffer! i am born to be busy! why can't i be happy when i am listless??!? is it because my mind is distracted or is it because the root of my sadness is boredom (i would hate that so much...i thought i loved being bored) and why am i sabotaging my 'feeling good' moment by thinking of unnecessary things?! you see the problem.

anyways going to bed now because i have work once again tomorrow. wish me luck world, goodnight

[capnmarvell]

Drama is going on in my family again. Feel free to read more to find out.

Friday Night/Saturday Morning (between 11pm - 2:30am):

My sister Cassie, who moved into neighbor Stacey’s house almost 2 years ago bc her ex husband was threatening to take the kids away from her if she lived with me and my parents bc my parents smoke weed (even tho he smokes weed and is an alcoholic), got the police called on her. Her roommate Stacey did the calling. Stacey previously told Cassie she needs to leave by March bc shes hella overstayed her welcome. Cassie got drunk this night and started banging on the walls, yelling at Stacey saying she was gonna have to take her and her kids to a homeless shelter bc she was being evicted. She then locked stacey outside and was aparently trying to get into staceys kids room. Stacey called the police. Stacey left with her kids and their dogs while Cassie trashed their entire house and passed out drunk.

Saturday afternoon (between 1pm - 5pm):

My sisters, Tiffany and Tonya, get called over to talk to Cassie. Stacey says officially, Cassie is no loner welcome in her home (yet this little meeting with cassie was held in her home???? ok). My sister Tiffany, who was like cassie’s best friend before she moved in with stacey, told her that she has been cutting off her family slowly for the last 2 years. that they were best friends and as soon as she moved in with stacey she just cut tiffany off, and if cassie had any idea how she made tiffany feel. and tonya pointed out that cassie obviously was having a mental breakdown and she was depressed and that she needed to get help if she wanted to keep custody of her kids. During this entire thing, STACEY KEPT TRYING TO BUTT IN. Tiffany was getting so annoyed like “bitch we are talking to ur sister you are not involved”

Kids are at our neighbor shannon’s during this. Cassie leaves to go to friend from her church (i am convinced its a cult bc as soon as she started going with stacey to this church she cut off her family. who else encourages you to cut off your family???? A FUCKING CULT.) and then, INSTEAD of calling their dad, or asking Tiffany, or Tonya, OR MY FUCKING PARENTS ACROSS THE STREET, another person from the church came and took the children. Uh???? wtf???

Sunday:

We hear nothing from them. All we know from tiffany and Tonya is that Cassie was supposed to be taken to the hospital this day (instead of saturday for whatever reason????). Cassie is ON facebook so if shes at the hospital, but she hasnt checked in bc when you check into psych they take your phone (i know, i stayed in psych for 4 days). Cassie finally comments on my fb status and says “kids are at a friends for a superbowl sleepover”. wow thanks that calms my and moms nerves. what friends???? their best friends are on this street  and we havent seen them.

Monday (between 3pm - 3:30pm):

So mom and i are freaking out about the kids. where the fuck are they? who has them? they’re not with family, they’re not with their dad. I go to the bus stop to see if they get off. They do, and i tell them they are coming to our house and i’ll get their baby brother too. I send a message to stacey and say “the kids are with their family. if you have Filip send him over. When their mom or dad comes to get them, they can leave.” because we have more fucking rights to these kids than she does. What fucking nerve does she have, saying shes a christian woman and wanting to do the right thing always, to not even come to OUR HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET to tell us what the fuck is going on. so i have the kids at my house, not the baby though, and im feeding them an after school snack, and they’re starting their homework with the help of my parents. HERE COMES STACEY.

She tries to come inside i block her. she says i had no right to pick up the kids. i tell her we are the kids family, we have more right than her. we want to help them and ever since stacey came into the picture cassie has cut us off and kept her kids from us. and i even say that shes throwing cassie out! why is she even involved anymore??? and she started crying and yelling saying that i dont know anything and that cassie locked her out and scared stacey’s children and she had to do that (meanwhile STACEY HAS SINCE SENT HER KIDS TO HER EX-HUSBANDS FULL TIME EVEN THO SHES KICKING CASSIE OUT??? AND SHES STILL BUTTING INTO CASSIES LIFE. YOUR KIDS COME FIRST BUT IF ITS CASSIE I GUESS THEY COME LAST) and im like “save it okay i dont need your sob story. youre kicking cassie out and we want to be here for her. these kids are leaving with cassie or their dad” and staceys crying, shes like ‘their dad beat cassie, we cant let them have the kids” and i go “and cassie knows we want to help her with that” and she goes “YOURE THE REASON CPS WILL BE CALLED. THEIR ARE DRUGS IN YOUR HOUSE. YOUR THE CRAZY HOUSE.” and i go “MIKE SMOKES FUCKING WEED AND HES AN ALCOHOLIC, JUST LIKE CASSIE IS NOW. WEED DIDNT BOTHER YOU OR CASSIE WHEN CASSIE NEEDED A FUCKING BABYSITTER ONCE A WEEK SO YOU AND HER COULD GO TO YOUR CULT CHURCH.” 

and she goes “taylor remember when you were mad at cassie and i was on your side, i need you to be on our side now and understand,” and i was just like “shut the fuck up. she cut off her entire family and no one came and told us where these kids were, you want to keep them from us. we want to help cassie bc thats what family does”

and shes like “my church is helping her. We are getting her a house, and a car,” (wow hmm a house and car so cassie is even more debt to your cult church hmmm BESIDES WHO THE FUCK at this church is buying my sister a fucking house? when has a chuch EVER fucking done this???) and i just go “yall are not family your not safe. why did my nephew tell me you hit him??? why???” and she tries to shout past me to my nephew, asking him when the last him she “spanked” him was. i was like “i am NOT letting these kids leave with you. When cassie comes and gets them they can leave. they dont want to leave with you.”

then my dad proceeds to come over and tells her to get the fuck off our property. I come back inside and my nephew looks at me and goes “thank you for making her leave.” HE SAYS SHE HITS HIM. AND HES GRATEFUL SHE ISNT THERE AND THAT I DIDNT LET HIM LEAVE WITH HER. THIS SPARKS MAJOR CONCERN.

My sister cassie then comes in 5 minutes later, no knock, and says not 1 word to me, mom, or dad. she tells the kids to pack up their stuff and they’re leaving. Kids are physically upset, saying they dont want to, that they want to eat dinner with us, cassie tells them another time and quickly ushers them out.

Monday (10pm):

My neighbor shannon texts me, says she spoke to the kids dad, my sisters ex husband. He explained hes been worried about the kids and wants to know whats going on. Shannon texts him what i told her about the stacey interaction and he says hes going to go to the kids school tomorrow for lunch and ask them whats going on. Cassie has no permanent residence, and thanks to stacey getting to a screaming match in my doorway, the kids hear everything about the cops being called on their mom, and stacey throwing them out. Kids will at least definitely tell him they’ve been having “sleepovers” since saturday with different members of their cult church and hasnt slept overnight with their mom in the house since coming home from their dads house.

So whatever the hell is gonna happen, the ex-husband is now involved. and when cassie does eventually lose custody of those kids, bc she doesnt have a permanent home, she didnt go to work today so she probably lost her job (she works with my mom at a hospital and my mom was told if she misses again she might get fired), and she has no car. meanwhile he ex has a home, running a business and looking to open another, has a car, and is dating an actually really lovely woman who has 2 kids of her own. Her ex is a shithead, but she brought this on herself. she cut off her entire family and no one is gonna be here to help her when this cult church decides they dont want her anymore. she cut us off, its been decided today we’ll cut her off right back. we’ll only be there for the kids.