#whatever moral code he has he had to sort of invent and improvise himself
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The better I get at crusade management and the midnight fane the worse the end of it is going to hit I can just feel it
#i was thinking about it on the Azata run. Funnily enough Galfrey was twice as harsh but it didn't affect ellu a fraction of as much#idk if that sentence makes sense. anyway#something about support systems I guess#He's trying REALLY hard for that good alignment next to the chaotic#but truth be told he has no idea if he's doing it 'correctly'. he often thinks of them as one and the same#he may have lived the majority of his life (far as he knows) on golarion but alas he is still fey at his core#whatever moral code he has he had to sort of invent and improvise himself#when I say Elluin doesn't think of himself as good it's a combination of that- and also the ingrained idea -#that he's got something inherently wrong with him on account of the *gesturing vaguelyy* mento innes#courtesy of the inquisition etcetera#so again. in azata path he was sort of. well he was uncomfortable being put on the spot and SEEN as good#but once the impostor syndrome died down he took to it as a duck to water#and between Aivu and the free crusaders he was assured enough in his own choices where he could take harsh critique and not bat an eye#well that was just galfrey throwing a fit it happens who cares- onward#but HERE.. here it's just him#it's just him doing his best. And when that best isn't good enough..#well. yeah.#riv finds the path that sure is wrathfully righteous#oc:elluin
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