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bushs-world · 2 years ago

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Rant: The protagonist doesn't always need to move the plot

So a few things resulted in this post. One, I was reading a writing article and the number one advice was that the protagonist has to move the plot or they are boring

And two, Tumblr recommended a 'Loki was useless in the series' post to me so here I go

Why this advice came in the first place

A good protagonist moves the plot!!

This is the first writing advice you will ever get when you are learning to write interesting, multidimensional characters and this isn't without reason coz some writers will put in the least effort to write their protagonists (it's mostly women written this way but sometimes men too). The result is a bland, boring who keeps sitting passively while the entire plot happens to them and they do nothing to try and change their situation. Instead, the writer adds other characters to fix their problems for them while they dont move a finger. This results in flat, uninteresting and often annoying characters.

A good example of this is Bella Swan from Twilight or the Sleeping beauty or Snow White. And I always believe this was a guideline to make sure people don't write flat, cardboard cut out protagonists but people took this rule as a checkmark indicator of whether that means the character is well written or not, totally forgetting that sometimes the protagonist doesn't need to move the plot.

The Subversion of this advice

This advice can be (and has been for a long time) subverted by a very clever but simple flip in the structure - when the plot impacts the protagonist and instead of focusing on how the protagonist overcomes the situation, the focus is on what they experience. And this is such a common trope, often used when the character is placed in an environment way outside their control or when the conflict is so big that they can't single-handedly change anything or when the odds are so stacked against them that there's nothing much they can do.

A very good example of this is Dani in Midsommar. She rarely moves the plot. The actual movers of the plot are the Harga tribes and Dani just follows whatever ritual they put her in and yet she is getting impacted by the plot. For one, she has no idea these friendly looking tribes are actually a death cult and even if she did, there was nothing she could have done. There's also evidence she was drugged and brainwashed but the story is rarely about Dani and her group escaping the clutches of the cult, it is about her experience both with the cult and her own sorrow.

Similarly, Pi rarely moves the plot in The Life of Pi. Everything that happens in the story is caused by coincidence and forces of nature yet the story isn't about Pi surviving the shipwreck to reach land. It's about his experience while he's stuck in the sea with Richard Parker.

A Christmas carol, Gulliver travels, the British soldier in Dunkirk, to some extent even Oliver Twist are all examples of stories where the protagonist don't move the plot, yet the characters aren't badly written. Heck, even in Infinity War, it is Thanos who moves the plot, not the heroes.

Thats also prominent in Frank Kafka's 'Metamorphosis' which Loki S1 takes some inspiration from where the protagonist Gregor rarely moves the plot but the plot impacts him and the entire novel focuses on his experience (which is also something because unlike the genre fiction which relies heavily on plot, literary fictions many times apply this technique to deep dive into the protagonists experiences).

The protagonist is not always the hero (and won't always win)

One reason I think this advice is taken as a holy grain of writing is because many people confuse the protagonist with the hero. A hero is essentially a hero, fighting the evils and bad guys but the protagonist is simply the character whose story we are following and I think this line blurs in the superhero genre because we are literally seeing it because we want to see heroes.

A character experiencing the plot is not a passive character

Another thing people forget is that a character experiencing or getting impacted by the plot instead of fighting to overcome the conflict is not a passive character. A passive character is one who doesn't try to change their situation. In contrast, characters in such stories where the plot impacts them often try to overcome their conflict but fail, either again because they can barely make an impact alone or because they don't have the necessary power or control.

So, is Loki in the series a badly written protagonist??

So, I have seen many posts claiming that Loki was totally useless in the series or incompetent or that he didn't matter in the series. And I see three reasons for this

1. He rarely moved the plot

2. He was incompetent

3. He had no importance in the story

I will tackle each of these points individually

He rarely moved the plot: Ok, this is partly true but again this doesn't prove that Loki was a badly written protagonist because Loki was experiencing the plot. The series was never about Loki defeating the TVA, it was the journey of Loki and his growth as he experienced the TVA and the restraints of the sacred timeline. And Loki didn't have neither the knowledge or the power to drastically change something or to defeat the TVA because he was facing off against an organisation that went far beyond his comprehension and knew everything about them, stripping him of the upper hand. And idk why people are so shocked of this particular point coz the trailers always hinted towards Loki being forced to work with the TVA.

Another way this argument is flawed is because this totally ignores Loki's importance to the emotional aspects of the plot. Loki's role in the series is that of the archetypical trickster (as described in the myths, not a literal trickster). Tricksters were often people who shook the status quo and uncovered the harsh reality with their plans and that's what Loki does. Ever since he landed foot in the TVA, he had been challenging the TVA dogma and his presence causes every person be it Mobius, Ravonna, the Void Lokis or even Sylvie, Loki shakes their moral stance and forces them to reconsider their opinions. Some like Mobius or Classic Loki change while others like Ravonna shut him down with their dogmatic views.

Another thing is that he's the moral and emotional centre of the series and he provides the series the much needed depth.

People mistake Sylvie as the person who moved the plot because of her strong screen presence and compelling storyline but if you look carefully, it's the TVA that moves the plot. HWR even says this in episode 6 that he paved the road, they merely walked down it. But people just see Sylvie's plan and think that she moved the plot when in reality, her plan was an important part of the series but it wasn't the plot. The series was never about killing the timekeepers, it was never about saving the multiverse. It was always about Loki's experience with the TVA. Everything else was just audience opinions.

And then Loki did move the plot. He moved it in episode 2 when he located Sylvie, he moved it in episode 3 when he hid the tempad. So, how did he not move the plot?? It's only possible if you think the series was about killing the timekeepers but tell me where it was said??

He was incompetent: Again, Loki wasn't incompetent. He was just placed in a situation out of his control. And most people who say this don't say it in regard to the situation in the series. No, they will bring Avengers Loki and point out how he was a badass, which frustrates me so much coz are you telling me that a character is only nice if he's an overpowered badass who defeats everyone. And if the character suffers defeat, then he's worthless. Idk it seems like a very toxic and shallow take to me.

It's also not that Loki isn't trying. He tried yet he failed coz the TVA knew each of his tricks and were so powerful that there wasn't much he could do. It's one thing if there was something Loki could have done which he didn't. But that's not what the complains are about. It's always about how Loki wasn't how he was in the Avengers or how this cool thing that this other character did should have been done by Loki instead.

They want an overpowered gary stu and since that's not who Loki is, or even if he's a little goofy, he's pathetic and weak and whatnot because he doesn't show outward, superficial displays of strength. If you think your character getting hit or losing is insulting, especially when there's a narrative reason why he can't win, then it's not the writing that's bad, it's you who's superfacial. Which I don't mind if you just want your fav to kick ass but then they won't say it simply. No, they have to add some weird twisted logic of how it's humiliating when nowhere in the series is Loki mocked for being weak and the only one who has problem with underpowered Loki is them.

He has no importance in the story: Again debatable coz one which plotline are we talking about? The series was always about Loki and his experience so without him there won't be a plot but also if you think that the series was only about killing the timekeepers (which was a subplot no doubt but it wasn't the main focal point ever), even then Loki played a big narrative role.

Without him, there would have been no Mobius and B-15 turning against the TVA, no Ravonna struggling to keep the TVA afloat and doubling down on her beliefs, no internal breakdown in the TVA, no Classic Loki redemption, and I don't even think Sylvie might have been able to enchant Alioth alone. Without Loki, even Sylvie's emotional struggle won't have come to surface so if you remove Loki from the series, you remove all the emotional aspects of the series which the series was definitely not.

The motto of the series was 'No one bad is ever truly bad. No one good is ever truly good' and it wouldn't have come out without Loki.

And yes, Sylvie's plan and mission made an equally important part of the story as Loki's own journey, and the series balances both along with the world building quite well.

In the end, it's ok if people don't like the series but can they please kindly stop saying it's bad writing when they don't have the nuance to critique the writing on an objective level. Just because one doesn't enjoy something doesn't make it a bad writing.

#loki #loki series #loki meta #loki series meta #tva loki #sylki #kinda minor but still

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polonium-snap · 4 years ago

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The Beauty & the Deku chp. 2

Summary: Izuku and Katsuki somehow get trapped in a book of fairy tales, to get out of it they decide to play their part in the stories. How far are they willing to go to fulfill the romantic plotlines? Will Katsuki be able to play the role of a fairy tale princess?

ao3

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When Katsuki comes to, he is washing some stairs.”Wha-? This again? You’ve got to be forking kidding me.” He stood up, inspecting his clothes, some raggedy top, and pants, which at least is not a dress, and went to a nearby well, staring at his reflection on the water, scowling.

“Kacchan?” He heard Deku’s voice from behind, and the blonde turned to him.

“Deku!” Katsuki said. “As you can see, we are still trapped in this nightmare.” He frowns. “What do we do now?”

“Let’s continue trying to go along with the story, maybe if we do it enough times, we’ll get out of here.” Izuku suggested.

Katsuki growled. “Shut up! What do you know? This is probably your fault since you didn’t have to be at the house in the end.”

Deku frowned. “Oh yeah, Cinderella totally broke through a door like you did.”

The blonde scowled back, blustering and turning to look away from Izuku. “Whatever.”

Which was Kacchan-speak for ‘I’m sorry, you’re right', good thing Deku was an expert at reading his childhood friend. “We should continue trying to go along with the story, this time as much as we can with the original.”

“No way, nerd. I already gave that a try and we are still trapped in this hellhole.” Katsuki argued. “It makes more sense to try and make the story different, if it doesn’t let us move on we can find the reason more easily.”

“What if that just makes us be stuck here forever, Kacchan?” Izuku argued back. “Let’s do it like the story says one more time, then if we are still here we’ll try your thing.”

The blonde frowned but sighed. “Fine.”

Izuku let out the breath he was holding and stared into red eyes. “Thank you.”

Silence hung heavy for a second between them for several seconds. “I’m sorry…” Bakugou mutters, surprising Deku. “You know, for kissing you at the end…”

Izuku blushed furiously. “Oh! Uhm, i-i-it’s ok Kacchan, that actually made us move on, so…”

The implication of the previous statement weighs on them, and the silence only makes heat rise faster and more intensely into Deku’s face. If the kiss was what made them move on, did that mean they would have to again until they were out of there?

The most obvious answer was there, if they were in Snow White, like Izuku suspected, that meant they had to kiss to be able to continue with the story.

“Wh-What story are we in anyway?” Katsuki asked if only to fill the silence.

“O-oh, I think we are in Snow White.” Izuku reasoned.

“How are we meeting so early then, isn’t the prince supposed to kiss snow white at the end?” The blonde tried to remember.

“No, I think they met right at the start of the Disney movie.” Izuku explained.

“Crap I can’t remember.” The taller teen rubbed his hand on his face. “How am I going to go along with the story if I can't remember how it goes?”

The green-haired boy bit his lip, he couldn’t blame Kacchan, apart from this being a stressful situation, it has been a long time since either of them either saw the movies or read any books with fairy tales on them. “I think I know how it goes, just make sure to go near the forest and run away from the huntsman and look for a small house, it belongs to some dwarfs.” He explains. “Make sure they let you stay, cook and clean for them or something, the evil queen will look for you, to kill you, she will give you an apple, bite it, I’ll take care of the rest and then we’ll ride off to the sunset.”

“My prince.” Katsuki said sarcastically, and Izuku glared, but his cheeks felt hot. “I got it, I got it, I’m just tired of cleaning stuff, like I knew old men hate women in these stories and think their only use is to cook and clean, I get it, old news, but it’s annoying as heck, you know?”

“I get it Kacchan, I’m sorry, but I really think that we can get out if we follow the script as much as we can.”

“Yeah, except we can barely remember how it goes, you lame nerd, even just talking like this can change the story.” The fiery teen started to raise his tone. “We’re already doomed.”

Izuku cringed. “You’re right, but there must be plot points that make us move on, you know like in Cinderella, the background repeated until we did what it wanted, to move on we need to keep doing just that.” He tried to placate the other man. “This is the best plan we have right now, just go with it until we can think of something better.”

Katsuki stands staring at the other teen for a few seconds, glaring, but pondering what was said all the same. “Fine, but we better get out of this, or I’m going to explode.” He turned away and started walking toward the palace. “See you later, nerd, don’t you dare die.” He closed the doors, leaving Izuku staring.

The wardrobes the stories were putting the blonde in were killing him, he looked so handsome, even in dresses. Now the blonde wasn’t exactly wearing a dress, but elements of it were clearly borrowed, Kacchan was in rags but still looked amazing.

Izuku shook his head, this was not the time to be fawning over Kacchan, he turned around and left the grounds of the palace, unsure of what to do with himself. Jesus, fairy tale princes really were useless and had one shitty line, like Kacchan had said, though maybe like this, he could look for clues.

He looked down and sighed, even his clothes were boring.

۵⚜-The Beauty and the Deku-⚜۵

Katsuki changes his clothes because he is not staying in some ugly rags, besides he is 70% sure Snow White wasn’t dressed so badly, she needs to be marketable, little kids wouldn't buy merch of her if she looked ugly right?

He went near the forest, as Deku had said, and sat on a rock, at least the scenery was always interesting in these stories, as Katsuki had never gone out of Japan, he could almost pretend he was visiting Europe or some shit.

“I’m sorry, princess.” Said a voice, which startled the fuck out of the blonde.

“Jesus fu-!” Katsuki turned around to find Rikido Sato, from his class. “Sato?! You are the huntsman?”

The other man’s eyes widened. “You know my name?!” His eyes watered. “The queen has never called me by my name.”

Katsuki hadn’t either until just then, but he wasn’t about to say that to a man with a weapon while he remained quirkless. “Yes, of course I know your name!” He lied, he was lucky with Sato’s last name, he was between Sato and Sota. “I’m going to be the next ruler of this kingdom, and you my loyal subject.” He was talking out of his ass. “How could I not know your name?”

Sato dropped the knife. “I can’t do it!” He cried. “The queen is trying to kill you, your best option is to run as far as you can and hope she never finds you!”

Katsuki stood up from the ground and scrubbed the dirt off his clothes. “Right, thank you, I guess, for not killing me or whatever.” He jogged into the forest, enjoying it more than he normally would, maybe because it had been a while since he had been able to make one of his mornings runs.

At some point, his foot got tangled on some tree roots and he came crashing to the ground. “Argh!” He exclaimed. “Dumb tree, dumb story, dumb Deku!” He raged, and sat on the ground, finding the cabin could wait. As he lay on the ground feeling sorry for himself he felt small tweets from above, and slowly, animals from the forest came out and stared at him.

The blonde groaned. “One of you better not be Dunce face or Hair for brains.” He couldn’t take any more woodland animals as his friends, although thankfully it seemed none of them was anyone he knew. “What are you doing here then, If not to torture me?”

All the animals started to walk toward somewhere, and Katsuki, having nothing better to do went with them, only to find the small house Deku talked about. He opened the door, finding the insides absolutely filthy. And as much as Katsuki had complained he disliked cleaning, he disliked even more letting it stay filthy.

‘Fucking fine’ He thought because only in his mind he could use his favorite words. “You win, stupid Deku, I’ll clean this pigsty.” Katsuki picked up a broom and started sweeping the comical amounts of dust and dirt, the animals around him started to do the same, and for the first time, he didn’t mind the small woodland animals that seemed to follow him lately.

When he finally finished he realized how tired he was, it had been a few days since he last slept, so maybe now he could take a nap. Bakugou climbed the stairs, peering at the small beds with the dwarf's names, he pushed some of them together so he could fit in and dropped like a log on them, paying no mind to the few small animals that cuddled him, he was too tired for that shit.

He closed his eyes and lost consciousness.

۵⚜-The Beauty and the Deku-⚜۵

“What is that? Is it a ghost?” Said a fearful but familiar voice.

“Ha! There’s no such thing as a ghost.” An angrier voice said.

“Who cares, ghosts can’t touch you, let’s just sleep and be done with it.” Said another voice that sounded just like Aizawa.

With his sleep finally disrupted Katsuki decided to sit up and fuck up anyone who dared wake him. When he rose from the bed, multiple gasps were heard. “What is it now?” He said, the blanket still over his head, which he removed slowly.

When he finally could see, he found seven eerily familiar dwarfs looking at him and gasping once again.

“Prince!” One of them exclaimed. “What are you doing here, young prince?”

Holy shit, this dwarf was All Might. Katsuki gaped at the blonde dwarf, his face a picture of the man’s old glory.

The teen looked at the others, Aizawa, Present Mic, Koda, Kirishima, Kaminari...and Endeavour?!

“Let me guess, you,” Bakugou pointed at Aizawa. “Are sleepy, you,” Present Mic, who let out a very loud sneeze. “Are Sneezy, you,” Koda blushed. “Bashful.” Then Kirishima. “You are Happy, I guess.” Kaminari. “Dunce face, you are obviously Dopy.” Bakugou laughed. “This must be Todoroki’s old man, Endeavour.” The red-haired dwarf fumed. “That leaves you All Might, I guess you are Doc.”

All Might smiled. “Yes, young prince.” He eyed Katsuki as if searching for answers. “What brings you here?”

“Yeah, that, the queen is trying to kill me or something.” The younger man dismissed carelessly.

“The queen is trying to kill you?!” Several of the small men exclaimed.

“Yes, so let me hide here, I’ll cook and clean, or something.” Katsuki forced himself to say.

“Like we would let a stranger stay here in our h-” Endeavour started to say.

“Of course you can stay, my boy!” All Might said. “Isn’t that right?”

“Yeah!” Kirishima, Kaminari, and Present Mic said, Koda blushed, and Aizawa grunted his approval from where he slept.

Endeavour growled.

The next day, after making the seven nuisances breakfast and them lining up at the door to go to the mine, Kirishima took of his stupid hat and watched Katsuki expectantly.

“What do you want.” The blonde said, but he had started to piece what hair for brains was silently asking, the redhead wanted a kiss on his forehead, Bakugou fumed, missing the cracking sound of his quirk. The thing was Snow White obviously did so in the movie, and if he wanted to be truthful with what he promised Deku, he had to kiss the foreheads of these dumbasses and thank god they wouldn’t remember, or at least he hoped so.

He reluctantly kissed Kirishima’s forehead, cringing when the dwarf continued in his way. It didn’t take long for the rest of the short men to follow suit.

Kaminari laughed and thanked him with a teasing smile. Katsuki struggled not to punch with his bare hands. Koda, bless him, just blushed and continued on his way, Aizawa grunted, Present Mic whooped in happiness, and All Might thanked him.

Lastly, there was Endeavour, who Katsuki categorically and morally opposed kissing, as much as he hated the half-and-half bastard his old man was trash and he wasn’t about to ignore that. But he had made a promise to stupid Deku who was probably living it large somewhere as a prince.

Katsuki swallowed his pride if only because he was a man of his word.

He slowly bent to press his lips on Endeavour's dwarfed forehead, closing his eyes to avoid extra trauma, and gave him a lightning-quick kiss.

“It’s not like I wanted you to, brat!” What the fuck? Was Endeavour a tsundere?

Bakugou would never be able to look at the number one hero ever again.

While Katsuki baked a pie in the old-fashioned oven he heard some commotion on the outside. Bristling Katsiki let go of the hot pie and peeked through the window, only to see Shigaraki dressed in black rags and carrying a basket of apples.

Holy fuck, Shigaraki was the queen?!

Katsuki couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing. “You?! Your crusty musty ass is the queen? HAHHAHA” He was nearly crying, Shigaraki looked worse than normal, and that was so hard to do in the blonde’s mind that he had to give the man kudos for surpassing himself.

“W-what? No, I’m no old queen, just an old man offering such beauty an apple.” Shigaraki stuttered, quickly jumping into convincing the teen into taking the blood-red apple in his ugly hands.

Katsuki wiped his tears of laughter. “I’m just, haha, sorry, It’s just been an annoying day.” He explained. “But alright, since you made me laugh so much I’ll take the apple, thank you for the few hours of peace, while that stupid Deku makes it here.” The blonde bit the apple, promptly falling asleep as he heard Shigaraki’s pathetic laugh.

۵⚜-The Beauty and the Deku-⚜۵

Izuku panted as he followed the forest’s animals toward the dwarf's house, where he knew Katsuki was waiting for him, the queen, whoever they were, was probably already chased off a cliff and Kacchan was placed in a crystal case.

He arrived at a clearing, watching as the dwarfs mourned Katsuki’s apparent death.

Wait. Was that Endeavour?! No. No, no time for that, literally everyone they knew was becoming a supporting character in these stories, it was entirely possible Endeavour was too.

...Was he supposed to be grumpy?

Izuku shook his head away from those thoughts and focused on Katsuki’s relaxed face as he slept and the dwarfs took away the glass casing on top of the snoozing blonde. Deku had always wondered why on earth the dwarfs just took off the case for some random prince to kiss the princess? What if it was just some creep? Though he had heard the age of the actual prince was 31, while Snow White was 14, which, what the hell.

Anyways he was getting sidetracked, maybe due to the nerves of having to kiss Kacchan, and the intense gazes the dwarfs were sending the green-eyes teen. He gulped, approaching the other man’s face, suddenly feeling very hot. It's not like they hadn’t kissed before, just two days ago Kacchan had kissed him, and there was always that one time they were 4 and wanted to know what kissing felt like.

However, both times it had been Katsuki who had initiated, not Izuku, Deku had never been the one to kiss someone, and the fact they were not conscious was really bothering him. It was morally incorrect to kiss someone who was unconscious, even if he somewhat knew Katsuki would be ok with it.

He felt dirty, like a 31-year-old prince kissing a 14-year-old girl, well maybe not that dirty.

But still, he did not feel great about this.

Finally, as his lips were millimeters away from Bakugou’s, Deku avoided the pink plump lips of his classmate and kissed the other’s cheek swiftly and reeled back. Katsuki’s eyes remained closed for dreadful long seconds, until red eyes fluttered open, sleepily batting long blonde eyelashes at Izuku.

“Took you long enough, nerd.” Katsuki complained as Deku offered him a hand and a taller teen rose from the adorned crystal bed.

“Sorry Kacchan.” Izuku said, relieved that the kiss on the cheek was enough to wake the other up. “Let’s go?”

Katsuki blinked. “Oh, yeah, you said we now ride into the sunset.”

“I-I mean, y-yeah, that’s how I remember it ended.” Izuku stuttered.

“Thank god.” Katsuki launches himself at Izuku's horse, waving at the dwarfs and animals as Izuku himself mounts it.

“Are you ready?” Izuku said, feeling like he forgot something.

“Yes.” The blonde rushed, a fake smile plastered on his face as he waved. “Let’s go you stupid piece of crap.”

“Right.” Izuku instructs the horse to start moving toward the horizon where a large range of beautiful reds and oranges paint the sky.

“Thank you for nothing!” Katsuki waves again, this time his smile is more genuine as he does a pg version of his usual cursing at the dwarfs and animals that probably don’t hear him due to the distance. “Hope you trip on your horrendous beards and die!”

The green-haired teen sweat drops as Bakugou finally settles down.

That is until he notices the horizon only seems to get further away. “No! Look, we aren’t moving on!”

Deku has to agree, as he notes his surroundings, while the background isn’t repeating, there seems to be no end to the valley even as seconds turn into several minutes. Well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions, Izuku thought as he meditated the best way to confess why they may be unable to finish the story.

“Darn it!” Katsuki growled in frustration. “I swear I did everything you told me.” He tried to explain. “I even kissed Endeavour’s old geezer head.”

“I know, Kacchan.” Izuku reassured, gulping as he realized he needed to come clean. “It is my fault.” He confessed.

“What?”

“So you know ten minutes ago when I was supposed to kiss you and wake you up from the sleeping curse?”

“Yes…?” Katsuki nodded. “What’s your point?”

“I may or may not have kissed your cheek instead of kissing you in the lips like in the traditional story.” He said sheepishly. “...Sorry...?

Katsuki slowly turns to look at the dumbass he called childhood friend. “What did you just say?”

“...I’m...sorry?” Izuku’s voice got weaker.

“What on earth is your problem?!” Katsuki bellowed, his eyes glowing red. “You SAID that we needed to follow the story to get out, you made me PROMISE I would go along with it just this once.”

The other man cringed. “I know, I know.” He whined. “I’m sorry, it’s just when I had to kiss you, you were unconscious and it just felt wrong since you never explicitly agreed that I could kiss you.”

“It was implied that I wanted to kiss you!” Katsuki yelled and then blushed, Izuku did too. “I mean, it was implied I was ok with it, you bumbling buffoon!” He screeched.

“Buffoon...?” Izuku mumbled as he stared in surprise at red embarrassed eyes.

“Ughhh!” Katsuki said in frustration. “Being this mad without using my quirk is making me lame.” He explained to himself, he took the reins of the still moving horse and yanked it so it stopped. Then he threw his legs over the animal so Bakugou was fully facing Deku. “Let’s just kiss so maybe this can be over, you piece of garbage.”

Katsuki pulled Izuku roughly so their noses were touching. “Don’t think for a second I’m not going to kick your ass into the next century after we get back to UA.”

Before Izuku could respond, their lips smashed together, harder and deeper than necessary, all while he was vaguely aware the world started to crumble and fade into white once again.

#izuku x bakugo #bakudeku fan fiction #bakudeku art #bakudeku #katsudeku #katsuki x izuku #the beauty and the deku

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pinkchanelbag · 4 years ago

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— there’s no one else; chapter two.

a jean kirstein x reader mafia au.

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series summary: a boy caught in a web with his survival depending on balancing niceties between his predators. a prim girl on thin ice that leads down the path of least resistance. no one too close and no one too far, no allegiance unquestioned, and no child whose value and future goes without evaluation like a playing card that determines their worth. to be destined for big things is more like being doomed to them, but that’s the way it goes. it’s just family matter.

chapter summary: the party begins.

wc: 1.9k.

cw: still nothing lol

note: putting this out short notice cause it’s JEANBOYS BIRTHDAYYY BABYYY anyway enjoy heeheee and my apologies for the slow plot thus far i swear it picks up trust me bro.

the venue is obnoxiously grand. the garden is more akin to a football field than anything else. there is no central lighting, but rather pure white string lights everywhere, everywhere. tucked behind and underneath tables and wrapped around trees and laying in the overhead greenery and in the bushes that act as walls. wherever you look, your eyes are strained, and you’re sure the dining hall can be seen from the moon.

speaking of the dining hall, the organizers cleverly blocked off the front entrance to the building so that one is forced to walk the expanse of the entire garden—surely to ooh and aah at its elegant taste—in order to get inside through the back door entrance. in other words, having to greet every single member of the family before so much as putting your clutch down.

you apply a friendly, attentive expression to your face each time pieck stops to greet someone new, having mastered the art of being engaged but not so engaged it’s troublesome, while in reality being completely disengaged in any way. as pieck converses with a bulky man drinking wine and you pick apart the key points (“we don’t got the ammo to make deals with top contractors—legal team in shambles—not good to have a weak spot”), really you are letting your eyes wander over the shrubbery which has been trimmed to perfection. yes, the lights are a pain and the band is too loud so early in the event, and there is not enough walking space between the bushes so people squeeze together to reach the large clearing of the garden. a perfectly obnoxious party, except you can’t help but appreciate the greenery. somehow, it is the only thing about this evening that doesn’t seem ridiculous. or maybe you’re just unusually irritated tonight.

your eyebrows knit so slightly at this realization. why are you being so disagreeable? impatience and intolerance seem to grow in your chest for no particular reason. you make a note to identify the source of your mood, and quickly resolve it. there’s work to be done.

karina braun is a kind, opinionated sheep of a woman. she is liked by all, and not because she’s particularly easy to like, but rather because she’s hard to hate. stuck in her times and not having much intellectual value, she is possibly the most important woman in all the families. being the mother of reiner braun and the head of the braun-galliard family, gives her luxury without responsibility. you’ve only met her once before, and she possessed the kind of ignorance many privileged older women have. but still she’s kind, so you can’t justify how she makes you weary.

her birthday, funnily enough, constitutes one of the very few gatherings that frowns upon trying to discuss family matter during the events, unlike a young girl’s birthday. it has to do with respect, you suppose.

you spend your first half-hour at the party hovering around pieck as she makes small talk with associates, becoming increasingly nervous at your lack of breakthrough in communication with the family. you know the most important thing is your encounter with karina, and that will open up further talks with others, but you stall to approach her, imperceptibly steering pieck further away from the centre table where the older woman sits. not yet.

“are you going to keep leading me through the same semi-circle, or are you just going to go talk to her?” pieck asks calmly. you curse her intelligence in your mind.

“i’m just nervous,” you murmur, smiling politely at a group of men at a distance that eyes you like the business deal you are.

“you should be, but that doesn’t change that you have to do it.” your eyes flick to look at the woman beside you for a moment. her expression is not encouraging or consoling, nor is it unsettling. it’s fitting. what you and pieck have is less than friendship but more than acquaintanceship. often you feel as thought she’s reading your emotions like an open book, which can be scary considering how many of them you really hide. but if and when she sees them, she doesn’t seem to care, whether they’re incriminating or worthy of sympathy. she sees you, and that is all. it’s not a comfort, nor a curse.

“what are you waiting for?” she says, but it’s a genuine question rather than a push to complete the task at hand. you realize you’re waiting for porco. you want porco at your side. you want his strength and his jagged-edged ambition, and the forcefulness that makes you do the things your heart has no energy for.

“i just think it would be better if the boys were here,” you breathe. again, pieck sees your meaning, and your fright, and leaves it be.

for the next eternity, you drink champagne and stretch back your memory to know if all parties are this boring once you become an adult, or if the braun family has a particular talent for making you crave the sight of paint drying. the closest thing to entertainment—and not the hired folk who attempt to call themselves singers—is gabi’s voice, which can be heard no matter where in the garden you stand. she tells stories, strikes up arguments, and gathers food and drink with her friends, all at top volume. for some reason, you don’t find amusement in this either, and really start to worry about this attitude problem you’ve got this night. to add on, porco’s meeting seems to stretch painfully long. it was a short-notice meeting, which either meant something very very good or very very bad—more so when he told you he was being picked up for it by reiner, colt, and annie. some of the most important family members gathering for an emergency meeting means trouble. your anxiety bubbles in your stomach, and you worry that your not approaching the woman of the hour is reaching a point where it might be seen as—rude.

the guests are alerted that dinner is ready. it’s not long before each person has situated themselves along the tables that line the large garden. the seating plan is loosely maintained, but you have nowhere near the entitlement to mingle among other tables. you find yours and stay at it, and it’s only then that you get an idea of just how many people are at this event. each table is packed, holding roughly six people, and there are too many to count in the chaos, but they create a semi-rectangle in three respective rows. you make out countless bodies but few faces, just an endless sea of tuxedos and lovely dresses. at the front of the garden is the head table, where karina sits alone save gabi’s bouncing body going back and forth. your table is is only a few feet from hers, but you take a seat that puts your back to her front so you don’t make the unforgivable mistake of accidental eye contact. you’re to sit with porco, and his table—the galliard table—is the one closest in importance to the braun table. you are the only one at the table, further reminder of porco’s tardiness. the longer you fiddle with the white cloth on the surface, the more you worry about what exactly the meeting could mean.

and then pieck comes and sits across from you without a word. as always, you know it’s only family matter—the concern that you look out of place—motivating her and not your obvious discomfort, but you’re grateful nonetheless.

as the servers stream into the garden like white-clad troops armed with dome platters, a champagne glass’s unmistakeable ding ding ding catches the attention of the guests. a table near karina’s opposite side, not quite flanking her but near enough to display some importance. a man stands with his glass raised, looking unfitting for the position with the way his arm hesitantly dips and re-straightens. bertholdt, yet another notable name in braun-galliard (and it’s your job to know all the names), seems to be the only person around able to give the welcome speech. it’s easy to listen only selectively to the announcements and shoutouts, disregarding all the thank yous and remember whens and listening in for honored guests (who are honored because they’ve proven themselves useful). luckily for you, bertholdt’s clumsy speech has a clear distinction between the two categories, his eyes downturned to cards in which he lists off important guests and whatever thing they did to end up on he list before him.

“a special welcome to general theo magath of the mexican military, who has been so generous to the family’s trade routes…” bertholdt’s words are careful, partly because of the nature of the things he is sharing, but also because all his actions have been careful since his fall from grace. formerly one of the most reliable heavy men in the family, bertholdt’s reputation was shot to hell when an important—very important—family member was killed on his watch. despite having happened years and years ago now, it took extensive efforts to just convince the higher-ups that he wasn’t in bed with the killer. it’s common knowledge that bertholdt’s incident was the first and last time someone “had it easy” from braun-galliard due to his close friendship with reiner himself.

“an especially relieving guest to see here tonight—“

and—finally—the stragglers stalk into the clearing. like most others, you hear of their arrival from the ripple of murmurs long before you see them, seeing as their whereabouts are blocked off by tables and bushes. a few people stand up, but are quickly beckoned to sit down again and redirect their attention to the speaker, who clears his throat nervously.

“carry on, bertholdt,” reiner’s affecting voice breaks through the space, and it’s enough to settle the audience, or at least have them pretend to pay attention while the late-comers shuffle through the outskirts of the tables to find their seats. bertholdt proceeds slowly.

“…a person i’m sure we will all come to rely on during this chaotic time…”

you catch the first glimpse of porco as he turns the final corner of the rectangle, reiner walking before him and colt and annie just behind. reiner is the first to arrive to his table, the invitees seeming to hold their chests a little taller for the family’s true head—in every way except on paper—as he slides into his seat and presses a kiss to his mother’s cheek.

“…a great legacy behind him and a bright career ahead, and we’re surely glad he’s kicked it off in our company…” bertholdt goes on. you and porco’s eyes meet, and immediately you know something is the matter; you’re just not sure if it’s fury or ecstasy in his gleam.

colt and annie find their seats in the table just after yours, and finally porco is near enough to see—and ignore—the look of alarmed curiosity on your face. he arrives to the table, giving pieck a look of “we’ll talk later,” and briefly stopping behind your chair. his calloused hands are on your arms for a moment, running up and down comfortingly.

“—a happy welcome to—“

“hey, doll.”

“—jean kirstein.”

and your eyes flick away from porco’s and into the crowd of faceless bodies, and the anxieties that kept your brain buzzing with life halt and collapse to the floor of your mind like dead flies.

jean?

#nia.tne #nia.jean #nia.txt #jean kirstein #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirschtein imagine #jean kirschtein headcanons #jean kirschstein #aot x reader #aot #attack on titan #snk #porco galliard x reader #porco galliard #pieck finger

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starstrucklovetragedy · 4 years ago

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Hey guys! So even though I mostly post Voltage USA related content on the blog, I also did/do play some of Voltage Japan games as well. Though I don't really anymore considering that it mostly consists of men and also lis these days are either predictable or boring sooooo.... But if there was one franchise in the Voltage Japan that I love to play, it's the Liar games! The game are basically calling out fake assholes and finding the "right" person and the stand out in these games is usually the MCs cause their not the usual MCs that voltage puts out. So I'm gonna talk about them from worst to best. Some people might get mad while some might agree but anyway let's get it

Also Spoiler Warning so if you want to play Liar yourself.... don't read this

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Compared to the other two MCs on this list, SS MC feels so boring to say the least and might I say.....kind of dumb. Like the whole purpose of this game is to get suspicious and gather clues from other people but sometimes she gets suspicious over the most stupidest things, like in the last chapter of the game she keeps thinking Shotaro is lying to her cause he kept touching his nose which is supposably a sign that someone is lying when A. a day ago she literally watched a commercial about allergy medicine and she said herself that it was allergy season so you would think that he has allergies and B. Unless you were like a terrible liar then you wouldn't touch your nose that much if you're lying. Also in the 7th chapters, she thought her friends were trying to steal Shotaro/Sosuke from her when she literally isn't going out with either one of them at the time and she didn't know who she liked again at the time, like wtf. Also another thing is that unlike the other two MCs who have jobs and that's why they have money to get shit, this mc was born into a wealthy family so her relatability is already done by a lot, I don't want to read about how every night she can go partying with friends with loads of money while I can't even bye movie tickets. P.s. Her and Shotaro become endgame in the story and they are literally one of the most unbelievable couples in the liar series, especially on her part.

2. Now people might get mad at me for this placement but

Yeah ok so let's talk about the positives first: she's pretty, she's knows how to stand her ground and fight back, and she at least has a job so that's cool......now for the negatives and the main one is that she's a hypocritical bitch. Like idk if I'm the only one who thinks this but I just don't like her. She consistently judges other based on their appearances even if their a nice person and I kind of lowkey think she's homophobic considering her reaction to Johnny whenever she meets him (Johnny best character btw) same with the SS mc. And she swears that she's like the most perfect person ever when she's lying about her life and lifestyle to her other suitors in order to get her perfect man ugh... Two examples of her being a complete hypocrite is in the 7th chapter she accuses Kazuki of being an addict, with her only major evidence being that he's tired alot and white power she found, and turns he's not an addict at all but he infact has a heart condition that if he doesn't take his medicine he will likely die. And does she apologize for accusing him for being an addict....nope that would be too nice of her, she instead just says she feels bad she accused him and just leaves....with no apology.....wtf. Another example is actually in the squeal of Itaru's story where she finds that he actually knew her since childhood and he has loved her all this time (not sure why, he needs to get better taste) and decided to change for her because she actually called him ugly before in said childhood when he did confess to her and then she has the audacity to call him a complete liar afterwards and that she can't believe he deceived her WHEN SHE IS LITERALLY DOING THE SAME THING YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITICAL ASSHOLE... I'm not going to ramble anymore so just to recap, I do not like this bitch but she's certainly more interesting then the SS MC (Itaru, you deserve better then this fucking bitch and I hope in whatever universe you can find someone better)

And for 1.

Yes! This is my favorite mc and probably the best mc (at least in the English version) in the liar series! First of all, she can actually take care of herself and knows how actually take stuff seriously and be professional about it. Even if she doesn't like somebody she's know she can't flip out over them because it wouldn't be the right time or place to do so, especially in an office setting. I also actually like how they handled her and her ex-boyfriend's (Taichi) plot line as she doesn't really forgive him but she knows that he's at least sorry and feeling guilty about cheating on her with her fucking bitch of a friend, and that they can put it aside and go their separate ways (unlike the other stories in the series) it's the same with the people she exposed, besides some people who left because she either didn't want them for things that were either gross or unforgivable, she remains mature with them and knows that even though that they can't be trusted, she works with because well they still have the job but also they're trying to be better. I also think she has some of the best relationships with the characters, especially with Keisuke, who is her endgame in work and love. God I love their relationship, like it's start off with Keisuke being kind of cold to her but it eventually turns into a relationship filled with respect and even minor teasing with one another, plus he's legit the only one in the cast of characters who actually went to her apartment in the liar storyline and got to be more comfortable with her, god I love them both. Anyway the OD MC is one of the best MCs in the series and I absolutely love her. Bonus points to her having a cute-ass cat.

#voltage inc #liar! uncover the truth #liar! office deception #liar! scheming socialites #not lovestruck #tw long post

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vivithefolle · 5 years ago

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Hi Vivi, can you share some thoughts on the "Hermione deserves to be/should have married to XYZ because she is way too good for Ron" mentality of this fandom??

I’m gonna copy-paste a Quora answer of mine, because recycling is important!

Claiming that Ron is “out of Hermione’s league” is a statement rooted in sexism, classism and probably a bunch of other -isms.

It might seem like I’m just throwing buzz-words around but let me explain.

First off, the sexism.

Oh, the sexism.

As I’ve pointed it out in yet another one of my answers (I’m so sorry for drowning you all in a plethora of links), Ron is very much a female-coded male character.

Ron is emotional, wears his heart on his sleeve, has anxieties and inadequacies, walks off in order to cool down, has a temper, puts other people before his needs, and pretty much adopts Harry when he rescues him in the second book. He’s the Heart of the Trio: he doesn’t rely on sole logic, he can believe something without proof, he is sensitive and thus is the easiest to hurt emotionally.

Whether you call it a “beta male”, a “wuss”, “defying gender roles” or a “soft boy” is your own business, but the core of it is that Ron doesn’t meet the standards for people’s vision of a “desirable” masculine figure.

The little things Ron quietly performs in the books - when he helps Harry into his pyjamas in Chamber of Secrets because Harry’s arm is bloop; when he’s worrying about Hermione’s whereabouts in Prisoner of Azkaban; when he helps Harry unwind after his visions in Goblet of Fire; when he puts food onto Harry’s plate and wakes him up from his nightmares in Order of the Phoenix; when he beams that Hermione was “perfect, obviously” when she passes her Apparition test - all those caring gestures don’t seem like much, but if you bother to think about it, they paint an enormous picture.

Who gets Hermione to stop overworking while making her feel good about her accomplishments? Who comforts Harry from his nightmares and cares for him in the dead of the night, when nobody is awake? Who makes sure his friends are healthy and happy? Who wards off the dark and depressing thoughts, be it with his fists or a joke?

It’s Ron.

When you think about it, “traditional masculinity” in Harry Potter is as much frowned upon as “traditional feminity” is - which sometimes bites Rowling in the butt when you remember how she obviously seems to consider that Hermione and Ginny are the only desirable kind of girls.

Vernon Dursley? The entrepreneur “king of the household” prejudiced suburbian middle-class Dad? Fits in the usual tropes of traditional masculinity.

Dudley Dursley? The typical “boys will be boys” spoiled middle-class only child who’s the apple of his parents’ eyes and even takes up boxing, as if he wasn’t traditionally masculine enough.

Draco Malfoy? See Dudley, but toss in “upper-class posh aristocrat bully who doesn’t like to get his hands dirty so he has henchmen do it for him because he’s too rich for this sh-t”, would remind you of a few Christian Greys or Gatsbys.

Dolores Umbridge? Oh no, cat pictures, decorative plates, talks to teens as if they’re babies and PINK, SO MUCH PINK!!! So disgustingly feminine!!

Rowling very much frowns upon traditional gender roles - with Molly Weasley being an exception because Rowling feels very strongly about being a mother, and relates to Molly a lot.

Right - so, being a beautiful mess of paradoxes and contradictions (a “soft boi” who also punches bullies in the face, a fussy mother-hen who swears like a sailor, a tall athlete with badass scars on his arms who’s nurturing and sweet; in short, a wonderfully human character), Ron is obviously going to be a polarizing character. You painfully relate to him and get defensive when he’s criticized, you feel his characterization hits a bit too close to home so you hate him, or you disregard him completely because you can’t see anything “special” about him…

Now, onto another very, very sexist point that is often made.

People say that Hermione “deserves better” than Ron, often claiming that they “aren’t intellectual equals”, then citing Harry (who is mistaken as being some sort of slumbering genius but honestly, the kid is really a bit daft) or Draco (since apparently, being rich must equal to being intelligent) or, god forbid, Snape (because he’s a teacher and teachers are meant to be clever).

Soooo, I could go the loooooong way and pull out all the receipts that prove that none of these characters are perfectly intellectually matched to Hermione…

Or I could go the long way and simply give you this: this obsession with finding an “intellectual equal” for Hermione reflects the mentality of “women are not allowed to be better at something than their husband”.

Yep.

A woman has to be all-around pretty good at everything, whereas a man has to be the absolute best in his area of greatest competence (surely better than any puny female!) with a help-meet there to compensate for his weaknesses. People are very, very uncomfortable when Ron and Hermione reverse this dynamic. Hermione is extremely intelligent and dedicated to intellectual pursuits, but is complete pants at things like self-care and people skills. Ron is bright enough to keep up with her and strong in her areas of weakness.

Even if Ron was as dumb as a sack of rocks (he’s not), his other virtues are more than enough to “justify” Hermione loving him. (Because she needs an excuse?) But no. A woman has to be with a man who outdoes her in her area of greatest strength. - credit to @lytefoot

People don’t want Hermione to be with a man who’s her “equal.” They want her to be with a man who can be The Man so she can know the contentment of being The Woman.

But, with this sexist line of thought, how do we justify how Ron is supposed to be such a bad match for Hermione? Because if it was just about mere sexism, Romione would surely be more popular. Imagine! Ron happily raising the children, being a house-husband and proud of it, while Hermione is out there fighting for justice in the wizarding world! What a power-couple, defying norms and gender roles and not being the least bit conscious of it, prime OTP material for sure! So why do people still want Hermione to put Harry, Draco, or god forbid², Snape in Ron’s place? Is this an irrational hatred of redheads? An Harmionian’s delirious wet dream? A failure to separate the actors from their characters?

It’s all this and, quite frankly, something more: the inherent classism that comes with Ron’s status as an explicitly working-class coded character.

I know, I know, “Vivian! Calm down with the buzzwords, you’re starting to sound like an online pretend-feminist magazine!”

Or “Come on, people who don’t ship Ron and Hermione together aren’t all sexist or classist!”

Of course, of course! I know that! I’m not implying that!

But some of the “reasons” why they claim that Ron and Hermione can’t work - are extremely classist in nature, that’s just it!

Come on, think about it! What are the Number Ones arguments people always pull against Ron? Or the most common Ron-bashing tropes (look at fanfics and watch the number of stories that use at least one of those)?

Ron is stupid/mediocre

Ron is lazy/useless

Ron resents his wife’s hard work/success

Ron is a homophobe

Ron is a drunkard

Ron (the big prude who at 16 had never kissed a girl and sees a first kiss as the prelude to a wedding) is massively oversexed and cheats on Hermione with anything that moves

Not only do these “reasons” completely ignore ALL OF RON’S CHARACTERIZATION - except for the “lazy” bit but come off it, all teenagers are lazy and Hermione’s the exception to the rule - but it matches perfectly with the negative stereotypes associated with working-class white men in fiction.

It’s also very funny to note how many (assumedly middle-class or financially secure) fans look down on Ron for being “whiny” or “greedy” when he expresses the desire to have money of his own, or blame his parents for “not knowing when to stop” or “being irresponsible”, or even look down on them for being “too proud to accept help”!! Also how shocked people are when Ron dares to stand up for himself when Hermione or Harry act badly towards him. How dare this country boy not listen to the wisdom of his social “betters”?

So, obviously, because our Heroine can’t go with a Nasty, Mediocre Working-Class Man, she must be paired off with someone of Proper Status: say, a Hero that was raised in a middle-class home and might be a bit psychologically damaged but it’s nothing all those gold coins in his vault can’t fix; or this Rich Posh Aristocrat who actively rooted for her death, he’s a little bit eccentric and has some exotic pet-names to call you, but I’m sure you’ll learn to love him and will unearth the gold coins in his bank account… I mean, the heart of gold that lies within the surface; oh, why not a Way Too Big An Age Difference Teacher if you’re looking for a “cultured man” who has zero things in common with you; we can also bring Convenient Plot Device Famous Rich Foreign Athlete if you want some diversity and you don’t feel original!

But we can’t - oh, we mustn’t let her be with this Terrible Working-Class Boy! His brothers are fine, they have money, they have jobs, so they’re obviously Not As Mediocre. But let our precious Hermione be with this Just-Got-Out-Of-School hooligan? She can’t possibly be in love with him! You’ll see darling, you’ll get bored eventually! He’s too mediocre for you, you deserve a man who outclasses you - I mean, who can provide for you! You’re a fragile little flower who scars people for life when she’s not happy with them, what makes you think that this boy can possibly handle you even though he’s done so for the past seven years?

You wanted it, you got it.

People are shallow, have misconceptions about Ron’s character that they are unwilling to correct or use classist and sexist arguments to try to make it so that either Ron is the Devil himself / Hermione is a higher kind of being that can only orgasm if sufficiently “intellectually stimulated” / what-have-you.

#vivi answers #ask #ron weasley #hermione granger #romione #ron weasley defense squad #ron weasley defence squad #sexism #classism #hp meta #fandumb #hp fandom

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jmalkki · 5 years ago

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From head canon to on-screen reality

Episode 6 of Season 3. You, guys.

My. Goodness.

What oddly specific joy.

One has secretly hoped a scene of this nature to eventually make it onto the show, and the promo images promised it was coming now. So, one went in expecting to finally see on screen the sweet sweet scene of the couple all domestic, chilling on their bed, sharing thoughts; the one one has imagined so many times in various forms, be it in text or in illustrations. Seemingly topped with a kiss, as well - gorgeous for the unremarkable mundanity of itself, without any story points or grand gestures tied to it.

Though the promo image promised kiss was not to be seen, what the domestically set scene itself delivered in substance was such a validating treat one could not feel one bit amiss; something one couldn’t have expected, hoped for, or imagined to come worth.

The end scenes of the episode made some major personal head canons true on screen! Namely the fact of Paul immediately recognizing the nature of one talking by oneself as if to a lost loved one, and admitting carrying Hugh similarly with him after Dear Doctor’s death. And, the fact, that both of the men hate the augmentations on Paul’s arms.

Seemingly tiny things perhaps, but these have both been some of the most persistent themes in my past writing of these two. And much as I abhor to go back to my past scribbles, I felt compelled to quickly go through whole of the Honey Mushroom series, and collect below all of the narratives focused on Paul talking to Hugh in his mind, and the instances mentioning the shared bother of the spore drive augmentations.

Which now suddenly as if offer possible context for the on-screen dialogue:

“God, I hated those things.” “I hated them more.”

I realize this is quite individual a glee, specific to curious personal head canon nuggets (and perhaps to those who might’ve enjoyed the nuggets / nursed any similar own ideas), but I am beyond ecstatic for those nuggets to have now made it on screen and/or fit into the canon, complementary to the narrative!

How ever coincidental, I think one must thank at least Anne Cofell Saunders, the writer of the episode, for including these specific allusions / plot directions, and in doing so making reality of one’s particular head canons. And, that gratitude must also be extended to anyone else, who might’ve been involved in what ever capacity in the process of bringing these into the show’s in-universe reality.

Feels like such an immense affirmation of one’s year(s) spent passionately imagining these unmentioned-in-canon dimensions (regardless how ever fumblingly). Such joy to see these once dearly envisioned behind-the-scenes aspects brought on screen, and into the canon.

More small, but notable glees: Paul’s PADD on the nightstand. And the men sleeping on the ‘correct’ sides of the bed, which has also been a theme in exploring the character of Paul. (And, in fact, Paul scratching the augmentations/residuals, too *heehee*).

Okay. Let’s go.

Passages of the augmentations being a bother:

From my second ever narrative, and the first to mention the augmentations, if not yet for the precise shared discomfort factor. Also the first to feature Paul talking to Hugh after the death:

[He shifted on the chair and reached for his forearm. Feeling out the hard plastic augmentation with his fingers. Rubbing it in a circular motion on top of his muscles, letting the gentle pressure push against his bones.

They were another reason - the augmentations - why he had felt so bare at the gym dressing rooms. He had only ever really bared them in the engineering for their designed purpose, and with Hugh around in the sickbay or in the confinements of their quarters. He had showed them to few others of course on occasion, but on his own discretion. He wasn’t comfortable letting them ‘hang out’ like he had just done. It too left him feeling exposed.

“They keep insisting I go in for a medical examination”, Paul muttered out quietly, while skimming through his calendar, like he was expecting Hugh - his resident consultant on all things medical - to actually answer.]

- We Are Undone, But Soldier On

From my only ‘alternative future’ story, with the first ever allusion to the shared discomfort with the apparatus. Also the narrative, which solidified the idea of Paul harboring Hugh ‘alive’ in his mind well after the death:

[ Paul smiled. He put his hand in his hair again, mussed it around a bit, adjusting it from side to side, observing it closely from the mirror. “And you won’t mind this either?” He asked with a faint look of apprehension on his face, “it’s still getting thinner and thinner each year.” “You know I always loved that”, Hugh spoke to him with most affectionate tone, as Paul could feel fingers play with the little swirl of thinning hair on the back of his head, “it makes you look irresistibly manly.”

“Like these”, Hugh continued, as Paul raised his arms in front of himself, displaying the thick, fluffy white hair covering his forearms, “I love falling asleep into this softness.” “Well, you’re in luck then. They sure aren’t thinning any”, Paul snickered, “I think the hair on my head might be migrating there in fact”. He could hear Hugh chuckle and felt a light encouraging pat on his hips.

Paul turned away from the mirror and walked slowly to the small kitchen cabin in the corner of the room. “Always hated shaving any of that off for those spore drive ports, just so you know.” he could hear Hugh’s voice commenting back at him. Paul was replicating his morning drink. “You won’t mind me saying then, how glad I was to get those off eventually”, Paul conversed in his head as he watched the replicator form a cup of tea.

“Of course not, Mushroom”, Hugh sounded to respond from the bed, “we’ve been through this many times. You don’t need to feel sorry for getting rid of those.”

“Yeah…” Paul muttered as he walked back to the room with a fresh cup of tea in his hands, “it just felt then like I was throwing something of you away”, he thought sitting down on the bed, “I know it’s silly.”

“It is. You know I wasn’t too keen on those things ‘hogging’ your arms either”, Hugh let out a little laugh, “and you really haven’t thrown any of me away.”

Paul looked sheepishly down to his tea. He knew what was coming.

“Don’t you think you should?” Hugh asked with a slight hint of worry in his voice.]

- Becalmed

A short, based solely on the premise of the discomfort of the augmentations:

[ Hugh wakes up to it again. To Paul’s arm wrapping around him. Dang, it used to be one of the best feelings in the mornings to wake in the safety of his Honey Mushroom’s manly arms. Now, there’s often this unforeseen complication. And Hugh has in part himself to blame for it too.

“Mushroom”, Hugh tries to carefully arouse the sleeping man’s attention by shaking him a little. He gets no response.

“Honey, can you move your arm a bit”, Hugh tries a little louder and attempts to wiggle himself from the man’s grip, but Paul just mumbles something in his sleep and won’t move. The arm wants to hold on to Hugh. Dammit. He loves it, but just not like this.

“Paul!” Hugh makes no attempt to discretion anymore, “will you let go of me!”

“What!?” Paul wakes up shouting irately at the abrupt wake-up call.

“Your damn augmentation is boring into my hip again”, Hugh lets the understandably agitated response get to him and snaps back in equal tone, which is far more harsh than necessary.

“Well, who the fuck’s fault is it, it’s there!?” Paul huffs back, fiercely as only provoked Paul would - even when half asleep, like he is right now.

“I know, I know. And you’re very welcome, by the way”, Hugh sneers, “just move it”.

“Fine!” Paul scoffs and yanks his arm to his own side of the bed, turning his back to Hugh as he does so. Hugh turns back to face his side as well.

The doctor then immediately feels regret for having gotten so agitated. He’s upset for the situation - lamenting over losing those comfy arms for the good of this ship -, not mad at the man.

How difficult for the man himself it must be to adjust? And Paul hasn’t once complained. Oddly so.

Hugh had just let his own less than satisfactory wake-up ruin Mushroom’s morning as well, hadn’t he?

“I’m sorry, Paul”, Hugh turns to look at the man over his shoulder, "I didn’t mean to yell. I’m not upset with you".

“I know”, Paul’s sleepy voice sounds faintly somewhere behind the man’s back. He’s not turning back around.

Hugh worries his outburst might scare Paul to thinking twice before embracing him again. And he loves his cuddly Paul.

“Of course you’re still welcome to snuggle”, Hugh assures Paul, letting the regret sound in his voice.

But the man doesn’t hear him, he’s fast asleep again. And Hugh’s bed feels that much emptier without the safety of his man’s arms around him.]

- Losing Your Arms

From one, which references events referenced on screen, namely the introduction of the (preliminary) augmentations by revealing them installed on Paul’s arms:

[ Maybe it had indeed been but a dream after all. Like all of this. Perhaps like all the other times he remembers too. Those instances when they had been somewhere quite surprising - and admittedly quite exciting -, getting distracted by each other from their intended tasks.

Like, when at the Medbay, setting up these brand new spore drive ports on his arms, for a brief stolen moment before the evening shift had arrived to relief Hugh.

Indeed, occasionally he had been back as they were in the middle of hurriedly moving that task to their quarters to follow up on those distractions. Like they must have done just now, judging from the state in which their clothes lay scattered around the room and by the selection of tools haphazardly laid on the coffee table next to them. Like they ever really had any intention to use those once here on this couch.

Paul regards the augmentations on his forearms.

He’s getting a lot of extra orientation practice to the devices through these repeats however, Paul muses. Would Hugh notice anything? Will Mushroom have hard time explaining to the doctor after all of this, how he’s so well adjusted to these things so soon after installation?

He realizes this right now as he catches himself cursing them, positioning his arms so that the ports wouldn’t chafe against their bare skins. Is it too late to rethink these apparatus?]

- Come Again

From one, where Paul regards the augmentations at Hugh’s wake:

[ Paul remembers wrapping his arms around that waist each and every night.

He shifts his arms. The spore drive ports on his forearms, beneath the layers of sleeves, suddenly feel so alien again right then.

It’s not his first time in civilian clothing with them (thanks to his insistence on own comfort wear out of the uniform), but it is the first time with them off duty, since he’s off the ship. And they feel grossly out of place in these Earthly settings.

Hugh too had come to dislike them - his own invention - as soon as it had become apparent how they were an obstruction between their embraces.

Paul should get them removed, if they’ll no longer serve a purpose.

He takes his hands out of the pockets, folds his arms over his chest and goes back to staring across the room with what must appear quite a stern look.]

- Honoring One’s Heart

There was also one about the conceiving of the idea of the augmentations, where, however, the bother factor was not yet in sight:

Doctor, Not an Engineer

And this one, which doesn’t technically count for similar 'shared bother’ reasons either, perhaps, but is a whole narrative very much build around the inconvenience of the augmentations:

Performance Issues

Plus, couple saucy ones, which I won’t list here, lest I actually ever want to share this post *ha* More below:

While at it, (and, perhaps more importantly) here are the narratives build around the idea fact (!!) of Paul living with Hugh ‘alive’ in his mind after the death - in narrative order (some already featured above, too). Hardly captured by a single quote, but for a taste:

[ He had finally heard it. The voice. Hugh’s voice trying to calm him down, “Paul. You need to let yourself be upset. You need to let the tears come.” ]

- We Are Undone, But Soldier On

[ ‘Honey? Are you drunk?’

A delightful, relieved curiosity filled Paul’s mind momentarily as he peered into the darkness of the room wide-eyed, to see where the gentle, familiar voice calling him out was coming from.

Then he remembered, and with a loud, derisive scoff sank back into his darkened state of mind, slumping back down on the couch.

“So fucking what!? If I am.” ]

- A Better Man

[ None of this should matter. Not the suit, not the event, not the crowd. Paul is not here, and Hugh is not gone. Not yet anyway. They are still very much together, and just about to leave somewhere off by themselves, once done with this circus. To enjoy each others’ company somewhere away from all of this dreary pretend. Such a presentation, and for whose sake? “You don’t mind, if I’m not honoring you in accordance to the Fleet standards, do you?” He still gets no response. Hugh hasn’t talked to him since Paul disembarked that cursed ship. He’s still here though, isn’t he? Paul would surely feel it, if the man left.]

- Honoring One’s Heart

[ “Yes. We are too damn young to be thinking about retiring yet.” Paul said and turned to look by his side instinctively, only to see there was really no-one there, of course. He let out a little huff and smiled to himself. Then turned back to face the beach in front of him, and paused to think again. “It will surely be painful to be near it all on the Discovery”, his mind went on, “but I’m not quite ready yet to let go of what we had there either”. “Our only home together?” Hugh came back beside him. “Our first home together”, Paul specified, “so far…"]

- First Home

[ “Dear, I’m home”. He can just imagine himself standing there at the door of their cabin, staring into the empty, cold room that used to be. All the pleasant memories now tainted. How exactly will this be helping him to get over? “But please, do remind me again”, Paul whispers to himself, and hears a heavy, sympathetic sigh in reply, as if preparing itself for telling him of all the ways he’s doing the right thing to move on, and how it’s proud of him for not giving up, and how it supports him, and all that fucking sentimental nonsense, it’s had to tell him already, over and over. And which yet Paul needs to hear. To keep faith. To not forget. ]

- Watching Over You

[ “Hmh”, Paul shrugs, taking in the thought, suddenly a slight twinkle in his eyes, “…but I have too much ‘unbridled passion’ you say?” he then yields, disregarding his persistent gravity, as he apprehensively turns his playful smirk at Hugh, readying himself for this blessed dream to end short. But the man stays here. Startlingly, staring right back at Paul’s surprised gaze with almost haunting clarity. Paul’s grip on the newly corporeal man tightens in a moment of incredulity. For the first time in weeks - but which feels like a year - Paul is able to see the man, to look into those loving eyes again, bathe in that radiant smile, and respond to all of the emotions he now thirstily reads from the man’s beautiful face. And fuck, if there aren’t tears on Paul’s own. The man really is right here.]

- Passion of a Vulcan Like Mind

[ He could feel Hugh’s gaze on himself. “You realize, you actually wanted me gone today?”, he heard Hugh speak out gently, “I got in your way”.

Paul’s smile turned to an anguished frown. The tone of understanding in Hugh’s voice hurt him. “Never”, he attested firmly. He lay there as still as possible, staring at the ceiling, afraid to move too much, or turn to glance at his side, lest it chased away this sensation of Hugh beside him.

“You are being stubborn again, Mushroom”, Hugh whispered with a hint of worry in his voice, “why do you still cling on so desperately?”. He was so close Paul could almost feel the breath on him - or was that the sea breeze perhaps - “You said you’d be okay, if I left - why won’t you let me then?”]

- Becalmed (alt)

#star trek discovery #culmets #paul stamets #hugh culber #space boos #spaceboos #star trek #head canon

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thebluelemontree · 5 years ago

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Hiya blue lemon it's me again. Do you have any criticism in the way GRRM wrote Sansa in book1/2? EX:.Sansa and Jeyne are BFF but we amolst never see the girls talking to eachother, and when JP is sex traffikced sansa just forget about her(we could have a scene where sansa try to find what happened to JP or at least grieve for her). Every time sansa appears as a non-POV in AGOT she's been mean and whe we have her POV she's mean for no good reason(SANSA III AGOT). >PART 1<

And the worst is why GRRM wrote sansa goin to Cercei to tell her the "Ned Plans", it's just bad writing, Cercei kill lady so Sansa going to her was OOC GRRM just wrote that to we hate Sansa And in the book it's not explained what "the Ned plans" was(And it was nothing imortant at all, and would make no difference at Ned's fate) so ordinary readers blame Sansa for Ned's death and GRRM does that too in book 2 Cercei put all the blame for Ned death in sansa nd "the Ned Plans" Your thoughts?PART 2

There’s a lot to unpack here.

I get a sense that in the early books, George was not as comfortable writing female relationships as he was writing male relationships or even male-female ones. I mean, Catelyn has no female friends, no companions like Margaery Tyrell’s cousins, no fostering wards of her own, no correspondences with other ladies except that one letter from Lysa for plot reasons. This is just weird for the lady of two major houses. It is neglectful on George’s part to give most of the important social connections to men. This doesn’t mean he was totally inept at writing female relationships, though, and it does seem like he’s tried to improve upon highlighting the positive in later books.

By comparison, the positive side of the brotherly relationships are presented so strongly that it tends to smooth over the conflicts with many readers. Jon can feel envious and resentful of Robb, but the love and loyalty is always in the foreground. The conflict between Arya, Jeyne, and Sansa does have legitimate character arc and plot purposes, so this isn’t bad writing. It’s unfortunate that GRRM presses down so hard on the constant bickering and occasional nastiness, but he did write some positives (albeit they tended to be revealed in later books) and there are understandable reasons for the dynamics. It was not done in a totally unrealistic way. What’s depicted is a typical and relatable rocky period for that age group, and there was negative adult influence at play. It’s not a permanent feature of the sisterhood. It’s all there if you pay attention and you’re inclined to be charitable toward the mistakes of young girls.

If a reader is already predisposed to see the bonds between male characters as more pure and more able to overcome the negative aspects, then they probably also view the bonds between female characters as inherently weaker and more fraught with conflict. Fandom misogyny is not GRRM’s fault. That sector of the fandom will always have contempt for girls for being girls, especially preteen girls. They will always hone in on their faults and belittle their virtues.

I don’t think that is true that we hardly ever see Jeyne and Sansa talking. They are nearly always in each other’s company. There was real friendship between Sansa and Jeyne, because what George does do well with them, is realistically write the way girls cement their bonds. Young girls strengthen their relationship by communicating and confiding in each other. Sharing secrets, crushes, hopes, fears, and pieces of gossip builds trust and intimacy. Jeyne and Sansa do this all the time, even though they can have different opinions and disagree about a lot. Yes, there is some one-sidedness in that Sansa socially outranks Jeyne and believes that makes her more mature and wiser than her friend. Jeyne is dependent on her closeness to Sansa as a highborn lady and future queen to rise successfully, so she’s not going to push back on Sansa’s dominance. This is also a reason Jeyne sometimes bullies Arya to supplant her as Sansa’s “sister.” When Sansa has something to share, she goes to Jeyne to talk about it. I think it’s hilarious that the girls have a debate over which castle Gregor Clegane’s head will get spiked. Sansa wants Jeyne at her side for these new and exciting events like the tourney. When things get serious and dangerous, they comfort each other. Again, this is not all George’s fault if some readers don’t recognize or value the way girls do friendships.

It’s stated quite clearly why Sansa tries to not think about Jeyne or her deceased family members very often. It’s fucking traumatic and her survival while among her captors depends on mentally holding herself together.

If only she had someone to tell her what to do. She missed Septa Mordane, and even more Jeyne Poole, her truest friend. The septa had lost her head with the rest, for the crime of serving House Stark. Sansa did not know what had happened to Jeyne, who had disappeared from her rooms afterward, never to be mentioned again. She tried not to think of them too often, yet sometimes the memories came unbidden, and then it was hard to hold back the tears. Once in a while, Sansa even missed her sister. By now Arya was safe back in Winterfell, dancing and sewing, playing with Bran and baby Rickon, even riding through the winter town if she liked. Sansa was allowed to go riding too, but only in the bailey, and it got boring going round in a circle all day. -- Sansa II, ACOK.

Following her father’s beheading, Sansa was in a suicidal depression for days. She wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t bathe, welcomed drug-induced sleep, and contemplated killing herself. If she thinks too much on those she lost, she falls to pieces. She can’t openly weep and mourn for “traitors” if her life depends on appearing to be loyal to Joffrey. Most of her grief is suppressed inside. This also includes asking too many questions she doesn’t feel psychologically prepared to hear the answer to. She was there when the decision was made to shuttle Jeyne off to Littlefinger; however, she has no idea this is going to result in Jeyne being sent to a brothel and worse. I would also keep in mind that even if she did ask, it’s not like Cersei or Littlefinger would ever tell her the truth. Why would they? Does she really want to hear lies and have to think about what the horrible truth might be when she can’t do anything about it? When it comes to Arya, Sansa believes her sister escaped on the ship bound for home. She comforts herself with imagining that Arya is safe and free, and that’s enough to keep her going.

And she prays and sings for Jeyne, wherever she is.

She sang for mercy, for the living and the dead alike, for Bran and Rickon and Robb, for her sister Arya and her bastard brother Jon Snow, away off on the Wall. She sang for her mother and her father, for her grandfather Lord Hoster and her uncle Edmure Tully, for her friend Jeyne Poole, for old drunken King Robert, for Septa Mordane and Ser Dontos and Jory Cassel and Maester Luwin... -- Sansa V, ACOK.

It’s only until later in the books that Sansa feels emotionally at peace enough to start remembering the good times with Arya and Jeyne without breaking down into tears. We can also see the conflicts weren’t always a thing, and the love was strong with all three.

Sansa began to make snowballs, shaping and smoothing them until they were round and white and perfect. She remembered a summer's snow in Winterfell when Arya and Bran had ambushed her as she emerged from the keep one morning. They'd each had a dozen snowballs to hand, and she'd had none. Bran had been perched on the roof of the covered bridge, out of reach, but Sansa had chased Arya through the stables and around the kitchen until both of them were breathless. She might even have caught her, but she'd slipped on some ice. Her sister came back to see if she was hurt. When she said she wasn't, Arya hit her in the face with another snowball, but Sansa grabbed her leg and pulled her down and was rubbing snow in her hair when Jory came along and pulled them apart, laughing. -- Sansa VII, ASOS.

It was most unladylike, but Alayne sound found herself laughing. For just a little while, as she ran, she forget who she was, and where, and found herself remembering bright cold days at Winterfell, when she would race through Winterfell with her friend Jeyne Poole, with Arya running after them trying to keep up. -- Alayne I, TWOW.

So it’s not even that the girls only bond through confiding. They run, play, and roughhouse with each other. It’s interesting that AGOT!Sansa tried to be so mature and proper, but now that she’s older, she’s remembering how good and freeing it was just to be a kid. But let’s not act like this part of the story is over. Jeyne is still very much alive and seems likely to run into Arya in Braavos. We can almost be 100% certain that Sansa will find out the truth about what happened to Jeyne and what Littlefinger did to her (and her parents), then watch out. Sansa will turn all that buried pain into a righteous fury at Littlefinger.

Now as for Sansa being mean for “no reason.” Um... yeah, LOL. Sometimes she’s just a total unwarranted bitch to her sister, and it’s not meant to be a good look. Sometimes she’s superficial, insufferably immature and annoying, judgmental and prejudiced AND THAT’S OKAY. I mean, she sounds no better or worse than your average middle-schooler if they were of the privileged nobility. Guess what? Sometimes preteens are really like that. Sometimes siblings have ugly, knockdown drag out fights where they say horrible things to each other. Most will grow past those phases and still wind up just as loving and close. It’s realistic and believable. Sansa has flaws, but they aren’t deep moral flaws. She does an amazing job at growing, learning, and overcoming those flaws over the course of the books. In TWOW, she’s warm and affectionate with people, easy-going, nonjudgmental, and genuinely more mature than ever. She took the stick out of her ass and became a happier person for it. What’s the problem? What did you want her to be? Perfect? Unfailingly kind and loved by everyone all the time? She’d be a saint, not a multifaceted human being. Even with her occasional ugly side, Sansa is still a strong, smart, compassionate badass. I don’t care if some people don’t like her as she is written or if they vilify her with their misinterpretations or ignore her strengths. What bearing does that have on GRRM’s vision for her character? He never set out to write any character that the whole fandom would either unanimously love or hate.

This is not bad writing. This NOT bad writing. This is GOOD writing.

*Sigh* Listen... this whole nonsense about Sansa being to blame for Ned’s demise has been going on since ASOIAF was written on clay tablets. You don’t have to listen to every stupid thing the fandom says about anything. It’s just factually wrong. End of story. This misinterpretation and reader inattentiveness is not GRRM’s fault, because he lays out all the details of everything that went down between Arya, Ned, and Sansa’s POV as it was happening. It’s totally understandable why an upset and frustrated Sansa would go to Cersei, the mother figure she implicitly trusts and admires. She didn’t go to Cersei to betray her father’s plans. She went to the queen to intercede in what she thought had to be some big misunderstanding, having no idea what was really going on or at stake.

This is not OOC for her to go to Cersei after Lady’s death. The hand that killed Lady was her own father’s, a undeniable breach of trust that wounded their relationship. Ned just doesn’t really do a lot to deal with the emotional aftermath either. Ned and Sansa are very similar in turning a blind eye when confronted with unpleasantness from someone they love. Ned is also at that moment disillusioned with Robert’s failure to do the right thing after the Trident incident. He begs Robert in the name of their brotherly love and the love he bore Lyanna, and Robert turns his back on Ned anyway. Yet Ned immediately goes right back to believing in the best of Robert’s nature, despite all evidence to the contrary. Every sign points to this being a one-sided friendship with Robert being lazy, irresponsible, and completely selfish. Like father, like daughter. Sansa has a very hard time accepting that Joffrey and Cersei are not the people she thought they were, even when she’s seen some cracks. And since she can’t understand her father’s actions and the communication has been shot to hell between them, of course she runs to Cersei with her problems. Cersei can flip a switch and pretend to be kind, loving, and understanding.

This is so typical of a teenage thought process: “Dad just doesn’t understand and he’s making a big mistake. I don’t understand why he’s doing this. He doesn’t get how important this is to me. This will all work out if a sympathetic adult steps in and fixes it. Everything will turn out great and we’ll all be happy.” While Sansa is pouring her heart out about how it isn’t fair she can’t say goodbye to Joffrey, Cersei pretends to be that sympathetic mother figure that really understands her. How hard would it be then to pump Sansa for information? Like “Oh my sweet little dove. I know how much you love my son. Don’t worry. I’ll help you straighten this out. You said your father wants to send you away? How? When? What’s the name of that ship again?”

And that line from Cersei’s POV is horseshit. Cersei is a liar and regularly lies in her POV to absolve herself of responsibility and force the blame entirely on others. In this case, Cersei is acting like she didn’t totally manipulate a trusting child to betray her. We also know this is a lie because Ned was the one that told her himself of his plans to reveal the invest and remove her as queen. Sansa had nothing to do with that. All Sansa did was give Cersei information that allowed Cersei the opportunity to take her hostage before the girls could leave by ship. Cersei’s plans against Ned were already well underway. Sansa never came to her with the intent of knowingly betraying anyone, but she did have selfish reasons for going to the queen to complain in the first place. GRRM said himself that Sansa wasn’t to blame for Ned’s capture or death, but she did play a role in the events that transpired. That’s fair. All that makes her is a kid who made a not entirely innocent mistake, but a mistake nonetheless, which she immediately learned from. Does she trust Cersei or Joffrey again? Hell no.

Relax, anon. It’s fine for her to not be nice all the time. It’s fine for her to have some realistic, garden variety flaws. It’s one of the most universal human mistakes to fall too hard and fast for the wrong person, act the fool over them despite all the red flags, only to realize you only saw what you wanted to see in them. And Sansa learned this lesson at eleven when some adults haven’t learned it at all. Relax. She’s a great, well-written, relatable character who has overcome most of these issues successfully.

#Sansa stark meta #sansa stark #sansa stark characterization #asoiaf characterization #arya stark #jeyne poole #ned stark #asoiaf commentary #fandom nonsense #Anonymous #my meta

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praphit · 4 years ago

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F9: What does Absurdity even mean anymore?

Due to COVID, I thought that my last movie theater experience was going to be "Bad Boys For Life". I'm happy to say that if I died today, I would be telling souls in Heaven that "F9" was the last movie I saw on the big screen (I'm sure that films are big talking points in the after life).

There weren't too many people there:

There was a woman coughing in the corner; I barely looked at her. I imagined that COVID was mugging her, and I didn't want to be a witness, and so have COVID come after me next. I'm vaxxed, but still I was thinking of ways to distract COVID, so I could enjoy the film. There was an old couple sitting up front (like REALLY OLD... sitting UP FRONT... Ha! that's awesome). Awesome or not, I was going to point them out if COVID came after me. There were two obese kids sitting a few rows behind me that I could also point out, as well as my friend that I was sitting next to... what?? Look, they would ALL want me to escape, so I could bring my "F9" review to the people!

WHAT??!

Let's not talk about my survival skills, let's talk some Vin & the Fam - that's why we're here!

It took a while for me to remember what was going on:

Dom (Vin), Letty (M. Rod), and their... kid? Oh, right, they have a kid, and they moved on to start a new life together.

Didn't the real mom die or something?? Idk. You've got the British lady from "GOT" still hanging out with Luda and Tyrese.

(they so crazy)

"Hobbs and Shaw" are still gone

(making their own money, cuz bleep family!).

Brian (Paul Walker's character - rip) is apparently, now everyone's babysitter. So, if anyone in this gang, who could die on any of these missions, ever have kids, they can just send them off to Nanny Brian's.

There's a dude named Mr. Nobody who sometimes sends the gang on secret spy missions.

Oh, and people in the gang keep coming back from the dead. Boom! We're caught up with this absurdity. That's actually what I asked for when I got to the movies

"Give me one ticket for Absurdity please."

In this batch of the absurd, we find out that Dom has a brother, and he's John Cena (Jakob).

Charlize Theron is back! That must have been the worst bet that she has ever lost. I consider her to be one of the most underrated and underappreciated actors we've got, but movies like these ain't helping that case.

And who's idea was it to give her that haircut? - part of the bet she lost, I suppose.

It was reported that the gang goes into space (at least two of them do).

Annnnd the X-Men Jet is back!

(it really does look like that - Wolverine included)

Seriously, after the X-Men's last two movies (which were turrrible), I was expecting them to crossover for a fresh start. Why not?? They're a spy team now, that goes to space! - nothing should be off the table.

They're looking for two halves of some... war sphere?? If put back together with some key... idk... John Cena rules the world.

Remember when Vin and the gang were all about street racing, money, survival, and brown booty? - those were simpler times!

But, why discuss the plot? Seriously, why? None of it makes any sense. From Dom and Letty living like Amish people (which is an ending worse than death for action heroes)

to their convoluted explanation for bringing the latest person back from the dead (which reminds me of a married couple, when the husband or wife get caught watching porn, and try to explain that it was just a pop-up that came out of nowhere. The other spouse gulps their glass of wine and plows forward - that was me with this - gulping my soda (with a lil Henny) saying "whatever guys, let's please just move on".

and what's going on with the two brother's is a thin thread at best. AND the villain's motivation...

But, it's foolish to get into that., and take points off. I LOVE THESE MOVIES, but it ain't for the story. Let's grade "F9" by its own standards:

Racing, Action, and Family (they graduated from booty to family):

Racing

They've done the racing in a small city thing before, but this time it's with magnets! - SUPER MAGNETS!

YES!

I loved this! Cars are getting sucked into magnets. They're using them to make people fly away and explode. Which btw, they did my man Francis Ngannou wrong (an mma fighter). There's a fight scene with a giant white dude on top of a speeding vehicle. That giant white dude could have and should have been the role for Francis, instead he's just here to say high, and then blow up. As much as I loved these scenes, they were too quick in some areas. I think if they had slowed some of the magnet stuff down a bit, we could appreciate more what's happening.

Action

M.Rod is legit.

She needs her own franchise. The only action star I enjoyed more than her was Vin, and that's really due to the absurdity of one scene. Do y'all remember the "Civil War" scene when Captain America has one hand on a building and another pulling back a helicopter??

It's the same level of strength needed for what Vin does in some underground chambers. You can see a bit of it in the trailer. He pulls the whole place down, and then, just like in "Civil War", he ends up in the water (but unconscious). Oh, and he does this after beating up like 50 people at once. Ha! I love it! Then, how he is rescued (cuz c'mon, he can't die) is splendidly preposterous, and I mean that is a complimentary way. That scene is perfection.

The only action that bothers me comes from Dom's sister (mia).

She just doesn't sell being a fighter, but whatever. No disrespect... she’s beautiful, but... her hair might weigh more than the rest of her body.

Apparently, the highest trained fighters (agents) in the world (who have GUNS) never trained for a unskilled, unprepared, 110 lb woman in her 40's with a frying pan.

Family & Corona

Tyrese and Luda are always funny, but their act is growing a bit thin. It actually felt like an act this time around. I think it's time to add another black man in the mix; perhaps one who's older than they are... TRACY MORGAN?

Throw an OG in there and it'll freshen things up again. I do like though how Tyrese is starting to suspect that they might be immortals. I think they should test that theory out in the next movie; maybe have Tyrese break the fourth wall, kinda like Deadpool, as he realizes this is just a dumbass movie.

Dom and Letty's kid... terrible. I'm sorry! This is a bias of mine, but kids normally suck at acting. This one is no exception. Just get an older actor to play the young kid. I'm thinking Ryan Reynolds would have been a good choice.

You may be saying "that's absurd!" - I'm glad that y'all can still tell what that word means, cuz I can't.

The rest of the chemistry family magic is great!

Oh, and Cardi is here, but... barely (for like 30 seconds, if that).

No rapping, no wapping, no cursing... kind of a waste of Cardi B, if you ask me.

John Cena aka Jakob with a K!

Meh. JC def has charisma, just not in this movie. He doesn't stand out at all. You know?? - The Rock, Jason Statham, Charlize Theron, etc all have a presence about them in this franchise. Cena?! what happened, buddy?

There are certain music artists whom you'd think would have a great personality based off their music and how they dress. But, then you meet them, and you realize that they're just normal bozos like you and I (only rich and famous). And normal bozos like you and I, AT TIMES can be boring. You gotta have some flair if you're not going to have personality. Give my man some pink glittery highlights, a face tat, some vampire teeth, and maybe a chainsaw for his left arm or something.

Grade: Good action. The absurdities were funny. I was entertained! Production was great! BUT it's getting tired, my friends. It's the same formula that I've mentioned and then, like always, they're grilling and drinking Corona's in the sun. After nine movies (with at least two more on the way)... I never thought I'd say this, but it's actually not absurd enough. Wait... I seriously can't believe I just said that.

I need to say that again to know it's real.

This movie wasn't absurd.. enough? ENOUGH. IT WASN'T! They're going to need to step it up for the next two.

They were in space, but not for long. They raced for the most part in regular cars (regular for them). . You only brought ONE person back from the dead??! C'mon! We can do better.

I'm giving it an entertaining C+

I like that we saw different younger Dom's (during flashbacks) through time. I think that the next type of vehicle they bust out should be a DeLorean.

Y'all feel me?? TIME TRAVEL, baby!

Vin and the gang race through time! They can have Tracy Morgan. They'll each have a younger version (or older) of themselves join the group. Cardi B will actually do something this time - maybe turn into a car!

And maybe Cable shows up as they tie it to Marvel.

Think bigger, Vin!

#f9 #john praphit #praphitproductions.com #action movies #movie reviews #marvel #praphit #vin diesel #michelle rodriguez #racing #fast and furious #cardi b

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revchainsaw · 4 years ago

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Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind (1984)

Prayers and Salutations Cult Members! I am your mysterious minister Reverend Chainsaw and this is another nights revival service at the Cult Film Tent Revival. I bring you a special word tonight. Tonight's word is about a person who roamed the earth, in a time where people were backward and warlike. A leader emerged into a kingdom full of eschatological expectation. This leader came preaching peace, and was killed for the sins of the world, but was resurrected. In that resurrection a new hope was brought to the planet, and true healing through the power of love in the face of violence is made possible. I am talking of course about Princess Nausicaa from the Valley of the Wind.

The Message

Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind is the film that put studio Ghibli and Hayoa Miyazaki on the map. No animated feature this grandiose and epic had been achieved by 1984, as much as Disney may beg to differ. The tale may be simple, and it may feel super 80s to us today, but Nausicaa is a masterpiece, and the fact that Howl's Moving Castle is brought up alongside Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away more often than Nausicaa is a farce and a tragedy.

The film takes place on a fantastic planet that seems to have suffered the ravages of an apocalyptic war. A war that involved gigantic warriors with powers so devastating they about made the entire planet inhospitable if not uninhabitable; save for a few areas. The fall out of this ancient war has left the earth in a state of repair, where the natural processes of a planet healing has creating giant toxic jungles.

Beyond these jungles lie two imperialistic factions, they seem almost to be city-states but it's not terribly clear. The Kingdom of Tolmekia, a militaristic proto-fascist society of almost Spartan sensibilities. Tolmekia is governed by the ambitious and cynical Princess Kushana, But I like to call her Furiosa. Just like Furiosa, Kushana is physically missing parts of herself, a visual metaphor for her metaphysical lacking and the parts of her humanity she has cut away. Kushana's world view is one of fear, a fear that can only be quelled by waging a genocidal campaign against her enemies.

Speaking of enemies, the Athens to Tolmekias Sparta would be the Pejite Kingdom. The Pejites might like to view themselves as simply responding to Tolmekian aggression, but the narrative of the film, and the story told quite visibly on the body of Kushana, is quite different. The Pejites are just as bloodthirsty if not more palettable in their approach, but like the Tolmekians, they believe only their own lives have any value. And thus, in this theatre of war, a Giant Warrior from the ages before is unearthed by the Pejite Kingdom, Stolen by the Tolmekians, before the forces of nature themselves, seem to conspire to drop the Giant Warriors "egg" right into the Valley of the Wind.

The Valley of the Wind is populated like the world of Avatar the Last Airbender, that is mostly of children and the elderly. The people of the Valley have been able to remain untouched by the ravages of war and the toxic jungles of the damaged world primarily due to geographic luck that's explained in minor exposition in the film. They are ruled by a King, and they are all deeply enamored by their beloved Princess Nausicaa.

Nausicaa is a gentle soul. She is kind to animals, she is empathetic, unreasonably patient, and bears pain and grief inflicted on her out of cruelty with a saintly understanding. She really is a thinly veiled Christ figure, scratch that. There is no veil. But she's also my favorite Christ figure. She does not preach a message, as much as she tries to save everyone from their own short sighted goals. She is not perfect, she does lash out and do some fantasy sword fight murder, but she regrets her actions so deeply that it seems to have played a part in motivating her to become even more compassionate and patient with the evils of the world.

Nausicaa discovers yet another plot by the Pejites, who are afraid of the possibility of the Tolmekians awakening the Giant Warrior, to use animal cruelty to enrage a group of almost invincible giant insects known as the Ohm. By luring the Ohm into the Valley of the Wind where the Tolmekians have become an occupying force, they hope to completely wipe out everything that threatens them. The Tolmekians DO awaken the Giant Warrior and pure pandemonium ensues. Nausicaa manages to save the Baby Ohm and calm the rage of the bloodthirsty Ohm swarm, and to defeat the warlike tendencies of both the Pejites and the Tolmekians. All the while fulfilling a prophecy fortold about a messianic savior figure called the Man in Blue.

Now that you have heard the Gospel of Nausicaa, please stand to receive The Benediction.

Best Character: Half a Person

Now that I've spent the better part of this review gushing about our Lord and savior Nausicaa. I have to admit, she's at times a bit too perfect, a bit too saccharin. Even her flaw, or her one weakness and her failing to be perfect, just adds to the perfection. I can't even say she never makes mistakes cuz she made one, and that's infuriating. It's even more infuriating that I still think she's a great character. Normally this kind of thing really kills a hero. Most Chosen Ones are the most boring and least likeable characters in their narratives. I don't know how Nausicaa avoids this trap, but she does. I'll have to do some meditating on that.

However, just like in your typical Chosen One fantasy narrative, the hero is a lot less fun than the villain. I'm going to say the best character in Nausicaa is Kushana. I want to be like Nausicaa, but I don't understand her. She's almost alien, even though we learn all about her. Kushana is mysterious, secretive, and enigmatic, yet I understand her. She barely has an arc, she doesn't really change. She's cold and cynical to the bone, but I don't need to see much of her situation to completely understand why she is the way she is. I usually hate totalitarian bad guys, but Kushana I like. Sue Me.

Also fun fact, did you that Nausicaa means 'Sinker of Ships'. That's kinda fun.

Best Scene: Spoiled for Choice

I'm going to be lazy and say take your pick. There is really not a bad seen in this movie. If the action isn't going, then there's intriguing dialogue. If there's no dialogue then you may be about to get hit with a forceful burst of whimsy. There's horror, there's swordfights and aerial dogfights. The only thing in Nausicaa I don't like to see, is the bloody tortured Ohm Baby. It's like a god damned Sarah Mclachlan commercial.

Best Creature: Foxy Shazam!

The Ohm are so simplistic yet so detailed. The number of eyes is alien, but the way they are used is expertly expressive. Who'd think you could get me to love what basically amounts to a silverfish with the intensity that I love a kitten. How did Miyazaki pull an Okja with a creature that should be haunting our dreams? I don't know.

And what about the Giant Warrior! If you are an Evangelion fan then you probably already know that Hideaki Anno designed and animated the melting goopy biomechanical beast. Surely a sight that would make both H.R. Giger and Clive Barker giddy with excitement. Just the image of the silhouettes marching amidst the desolation of the old world is burned into my brain.

So which of these is the best creature from Ghibli's first outing? It's fucking Teto. It was always gonna be Teto you idiot. Just look at Teto, he's adorable. He's too cute to exist. I'm so alone. I need a pet.

Best Character Design: Tolmekian Regalia

I originally included this category to talk some about Kushana, however, at that time I also thought I was going to say Nausicaa was the best character. I thought hard about deleting it, but I think it's a different category and you can't accuse me of playing favorites because my favorite character is clearly Teto. Just to keep it simple. It's the two costume shift from full military regalia in white and gold, to the one metal arm, warrior princess get up. It's a great costume and a great look. Get on this shit cosplay nerds. It's great for Cons in Canada, you have to think about layers, and you can't keep going as Mr. Plow. It's lazy.

Best Excuse to Talk About Patrick Stewart's Character: Lord Yupa

I just realized that I was about to write this whole review without talking about Lord Yupa. Lord Yupa is a sword saint and all around badass I think a lot of entertainment, especially in the west is lacking bad ass old men. Lord Yupa particularly shines in the early half of the film as a warrior and as a wise council to Nausicaa. If she's Jesus then Yupa is John the Baptist. He is also voiced by the elegant and eloquent Patrick Stewart. He also comes with 2 chocobos!

Worst Character: For Whom Asbel Tolls

This might also be the worst actor category as well. Actual Cannibal (haha meme) and actual monster (haha real life) Shia Labeouf doesn't so much act in the role as he read the lines and it was recorded. The good news it doesn't effect the film too much because Asbel is completely forgettable. He is a catalyst to some of the action, but besides that I don't really care for him.

Worst Aspect: To Be Fair ...

It would be unfair to completely ignore anything negative about Nausicaa. I have already mentioned in many places that there are some pretty corny, or pretty predictable tropes to this movie. But what I can't capture in words is exactly why it feels fresh when it's done in this movie. I suppose that's what makes it good. It's just so good that it's weak points are lifted up by it's strengths. Some people may bored of Nausicaa's unyielding goodness, or that she very rarely chooses to take action as much as she chases and pleads with her surroundings, but I mean, she does pay for that eventually. It's a fantasy story and it hits a lot of timeless themes that have been hit in stories for as long as human beings have been telling stories. Some people may feel that it doesn't do enough to stand out.

Summary

I have defined the S tier for myself as "near perfect and personal favorite" films. I like to think that Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind is near perfect. Some may say that it looks like it might just be a personal favorite. In the case of Nausicaa, I'm having a very hard time telling the difference. I think it would be overly simple to claim that Nausicaa is just an ancient archetypal heroes journey with an 80s anime coat of paint. I think it's doing quite a few new and interesting things with that formula, those things are just playing out all around that narrative as opposed to being at it's center. For a first full length outing by the studio, you can really see Miyazaki's heart and the values he holds close to. I'll repeat myself so that we are completely clear on the matter. I think Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind is a near perfect movie.

Overall Grade: S

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Life And Times of Scrooge McDuck Retrospective: The New Laird of Castle McDuck! “And I’ll Remember It Poppa! There’s Always Another Rainbow!”

Hello all you happy people! And welcome back to my look at the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck! And to make up for lost time im’ doing two instalments this month, and with luck and my schedule holding out I plan to finish the main series in September, doubling up again for the last two months to finish this up.

Background wise there’s honestly not a lot this go round, as it’s less rooted in history and more Don Rosa’s need to settle an annoying flaw with continuity. Man oh man do I relate to that and having read comics for at least half my life, i’ve seen writers do this by the bucketload to fix decisions from other writers. Sometimes for the write reasons and sometimes because EVERYTHING WAS BETTER ON MY EARTH. Don Rosa, like most writers.. has done both.

Here though it’s for the good and for understandable reasons: Barks had Scrooge’s origin as a poor shoeshine boy from Glasgow.. but also had a rather famous and awesome story, the Old Castle’s Secret, that also gave them a giant ancestral castle. Rosa fixed this by having the McDuck’s having lost it due to a combination of being driven off the land by a fake ghost dog and poor turns of fourtune meaning they coudln’t pay the taxes to live there and were behind on taxes on it, hence the Whiskervilles having taken it over in part one.

But obviously the Whiskervilles coudln’t KEEP the castle as Scrooge owned it in present day, thus this chapter explains how he got it. It was a stroke of genius plot wise too as it allowed him to open each act in Scotland and using the castle to measure where Scrooge is in life: As a boy dreaming of getting it back, as a young man who while not a success succeeds at this, and as an older hardned man who realizes he simply doesn’t belong here anymore who has to leave his family’s legacy here behind to start a better one in America.

The only other real story is that a sequence here was based on the film A Matter of Life and Death, and Rosa detailed in his notes his quest to get a copy as the distribution rights here were a nightmare at the time. Thankfully that’s clearly changed as a quick look on Amazon shows both a standard DVD release, mentioned by rosa in the book and a snazzier release by the Criteron Collection are both easily available. He ended up getting a copy from Canada, and while he didn’t get any insight at least got a neat addition to his collection. Admittedly this dosen’t add much to the story, I just thought it was neat. So with all of that settled, join me after the cut as Scrooge tries to buy back his family’s legacy.

And Scrooge has already arrived in Scotland, having reunited with Downy and Matilda, who as a refresher is more responsible and straightlaced here versus the 2017 incarnation. Part of me DOES wish they hadn’t glossed over the reunion especially since this chapter is the last time we’ll see Scrooge and his Mom together before her utterly heartbreaking passing a few chapters down the road. But I get why we opened here instead: it’s a captivating open, with Scrooge speeding to the castle, his mother and sister trying to stave the rain off and time clearly of the essence. It sucks you in as we don’t know WHY Scrooge was summoned last time, only that it was bad enough he needed to come home, and thus ratchet’s up the tension until we find out shortly.

It turns out the back taxes on Castle McDuck are up and the castle is being sold., doing so with some glasses, foreshadowing his iconic specs wearing as the snow and brightness of the praries in various seasons mean his eyes are all done fucked up like mine. The Whiskervilles are naturally not only the prospective buyer but already trying to take the property prematurely, with Fergus and Jake holding the line, because love isn’t always on time. But Hortense is and when the Whiskervilles mock her daddy and uncle, planning to tear down the castle out of spite, her response reminds us why donald is a ball of rage and badassery...

Have I mentioned she’s my favorite part of this story? Because she is. Her response to scrooge being back is also just pure adorable.

Scrooge does get a big reunion with his dad and uncle, getting a big hug from Fergus, if squshing his cream cheese sandwitch... and yes that’s apparently a real thing. I mean I do love me some cream cheese don’t get me wrong, but it just feels weird to put it on bread as the only thing, but I guess i’m a bit spoiled with crackers and bagels in my day and age or putting it on tosat with salmon and.. saying all of this both makes me very hungry for cream cheese. So I guess i’ts not all bad it’s just weird to me, especially since I don’t think it’d keep all that well unregrigrated but I also don’t know the times that well. Or maybe when your that poor and hungry, it dosen’t matter how good it is and maybe i’m just spoiled by my upper middle class existance. I dunno. The point is i’m going to go get me some cream cheese be back in a minute. Here have some music.

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For all two of you that didn’t clear out, Fergus naturally for the time, turns out to be sexist, insisting Jake get “The Women” home.

Though Rosa gets a great joke out of it by having Jake wonder if he can even reign Hortense in. And I do love Hortense’s character. Whlie i’ts simple, she’s simply an angrier version of her son without the penchant for half-assed schemes, it works and makes her stand out against the more subdued rest of the McDuck family outside of Scrooge.

Fergus explains HOW it got so bad to Scrooge: While the McDuck ancestors pooled resources to automatically pay the taxes, eventually only having two poor old men who could barely keep their family fed and a slightly less poor pulp fiction writer somewhere in America meant the taxes piled up and the Whiskervilles are within a whisker’s reach of gettng the castle, something mentioned in part 1.

It also provides a great payoff to the first part of Scrooge’s journey: while the boy bemoans only having gotten the 10,000 dollar check from the mine sale, and that will only just about cover the castle’s taxes, he feels disheratned as it’s ALL he’s accomplished.. but in a nice moment from Fergus he points it WASN’T all for nothing: Thanks to his work they get their home back. His family can move from the cramped confines of Dismal Downs back to their ancestral homeland like they always deserved. While he may of not achieved his goal of being rich yet.. he still achieved his goal of buying the castle back, the very thing that set him on this path in the first place. It’s telling though that it takes a reminder of that, that Scrooge is loosing sight of the very human, for lack of a better term, reasons he set out: while he’s finally built a better life for his family, if just so.. all he can see is that he’s not RICH. The money is starting to cloud his judgement.. and i’tll roll over him entirely before the series is over.

The Head of the Whiskervilles shows up with the Sheirff.. whose also a Whiskerville lest you thought unfair and crooked policing was a strictly american thing. But Fergus points out their too early.. and Scrooge flashes his check. And when the Head Whiskerville scoffs at a mcduck having money... Scrooge points out he didn’t believe in ghosts either and brags about his awesomeness in the first chapter, revealing what he did and leaving The SHierff pissed and the older whiskerville ready with a plan: he decide......

Sadly not with children’s trading cards but with swords, and gets past the legality issue by simply challenging Scrooge’s pride and angering him into accepting. Argus, the head whiskerville whose name I just got from the comic, reveals his plan to the Shierff: While he’s dueling Scrooge Sheirff can snatch the bank statment.. though why Scrooge didn’t you know, cash it before coming and how an american banks tatment is valid in early 1900′s Scotland...

So the Duel is on.. and like the money he’s made, the Duel is another Marker of how far Scrooge has come and how despite still not having made his fortune yet he’s rich with EXPERINCE. His experince fighting cattle rustlers and pirates means he has the reflexes to easily outfight his opponent.. though him saying he learned how to fight “Injun Style from Buffallo Bill”, i.e. learned how to fight like a native american from a white guy and beat Sitting Bull with it just makes me feel like i’m watching that episode of Saved by the Bell where Zach has to learn not to be racist but then thinks this outfit is acceptable.

Scrooge also tracks the guy using the tracking skills he learned from the blackfeet which again feel like the picture above , but send Argus running.. only to lure Scrooge into a fight on the castle battlemnt in the pooring rain and disarming him. Luckily the spirit of Sir Quackly gives the lad his sword back and Scrooge wins the fight.. but promptly gets hit by lighting while celebrating Caddyshack style.

No really Scrooge is.. or close as he got knocked into the water and is now in heaven. Sir Quackly naturally doesn’t want to see the last hope of the Clan McDuck dies and goes to talk to the tribunal of McDucks to sort it out hence the Matter of Life And Death connection.

The Tribunal is made up of former McDucks.. it turns out Scrooge is here because of Quackly: the lighting was SUPPOSED to hit the tower, distracting Argus, and they prepare to write Scrooge off because their more concerned with golf than the fact that their whole clan’s future is on the line.. which I do not get because unless you are Tiger Woods or the Film Caddyshack, golf usually is the boring garbage water of sports and this is from someone who dosen’t like sports to begin with. I do like the Missing Links of Moorshire though so there’s that. And golf episodes of shows are usually good.. the sport itself is just incredibly boring. And I sat through Mank. I know boring. I know wanting hours of my life back. Golf is the Mank of Sports.

What we get is a pretty tiresome sequence honestly: Quackly points out the tribuanls faults while their just dicks who only care about golf. Which again, Mank of sports. Or if you prefer the Cloud Atlas of sports but with SLIGHTLY less untetionall racisim and sadly much less Tom Hanks and Hugh Grant. The point is golf sucks and while I ilke the REST of this chapter this bit just dosen’t work for me and was clearly funnier in Rosa’s head, with the assholes not thinking much of Scrooge’s achievements and only liking him when they find out he’ll be a tight wad, the only funny joke in these draggy as hell three pages, not counting the start and finish of the sequence which arnet bad, as they send him back to earth with Quackly mentioning the dime, but not giving out WHY it’s important. That he has to figure out on his own and all that good stuff.

So Scrooge uses his dime to unscrew the bolts and back at the castle while Argus TRIES to pawn it off as Scrooge being a coward and depart with the bank draft....

Damnnnn that’s badass, he gets the bank note back (only knowing because one of his ancestors mentioned it, though with his memory of the dying dream gone he dosen’t know WHY), and has Fergus run into town to pay the taxes tonight before any other shenanigans happen while he keeps the two scheming dogmen captive long enough for Fergus to get too far for them to catch up. Argus plans to go with plan “Do a murder on Scrooge”.. but fines Scrooge is far from unprotected and not the only badass in his family.. I mean Hortense exists but I mean that ther’es more than two... you know what jut look at the ghost heads.

So the two run for their lives..... also they forgot you know Hortense exists.. she’d revenge murder all of them and they both know it.

So with the land safe and the taxes paid so the Family can implicitly move in, we end on a beautiful sunrise as Scrooge prepares to leave soon. Despite all the setbacks and hardship Scrooge is deterimend to still make it and knows he won’t fail forever. When Fergus mentions Gold at the end of a rainbow, Scrooge takes that, and the golden dawn as a sign. WHen Fergus understandably asks if he’s sure he’ll make it this time.. we get a nice nod to Bark’s best and most notable painting “always another rainbow to close us out”

It’s a beauitful and inspiring statment.. no matter what you face.. there’s always a light at the end of it. Always another opportunity, another goal to reach, another hill to climb.. and life to live... and it’s one i’ve taken to heart and always will.. and one that will land Scrooge his fortune yet.

Final Thoughts: This chapter is alright but like I said the two page sequence in heaven dosen’t really work for me. It’s just not funny enough and really shoudl’ve been trimmed down a page so we could get more character stuff with Scrooge and his family> Otherwise it’s a tightly paced thrilling chapter in Scrooge’s life, showing just how far he’s come and how far he has left to go. The DIsmal Downs chapter serve as a good marker of where Scrooge is and where he’s heading as I mentioned earlier, with this one showing that while he’s not hit his goal yet, he still got his family their true home back, beat his enmeis and is a legend to be. Ther’es always another rainbow.. and he just needs to find it. All in all a decent chapter outside those two pages, and a good setup for the next three glorious chapters.

Next Month on LIfe and Times: One is Scroogey and the other is FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD, as Scrooge meets his arch enemy and rides a motherfucking lion. And if “rides a motherfucking lion” doesn’t make you come back I do not know why you read this. Next Time On This BLog: What is that, that Freaky Thing? It’s A naked Mole rat as we return to Kauai this time with Kim Possible and Co as Drakken tries to capture stitch and Jumba wonders if Rufus is one of his or not.

See you at the next rainbow

#the life and times of scrooge mcduck #the new laird of castle mcduck #scrooge mcduck #fergus mcduck #jake mcduck #downy mcduck #hortense duck #hortense mcduck #matilda mcduck #don rosa #comics #fantagraphics

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sarcastically-defensive17 · 5 years ago

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might be a weird request but an angsty fic of calum & reader r dating at a party but cal’s been givin the silent treatment cuz the reader did smth clumsy and cal got mad & they argue & at the party a drunk dude is all on her & she’s tipsy/mad/throws a drink on him & ends up bein a big fight & the band hears & sees the guy slap her causing calum go crazy feels guilty bc he wasn’t with her & the band protect her & kicks him out, fluff at the end insp: snooki getting slapped on jersey shore djjdkd

Fine - C. Hood

TRIGGER WARNING: NON CONSENSUAL SEXUAL TOUCHING AND VIOLENCE. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS COULD TRIGGER YOU BECAUSE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS IMPORTANT!!

I love this idea and I had to watch that video like seven times to get inspiration. I hope you like it! I couldn’t think of a plot for so long!

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

There was something off with Calum. No rhyme, no reason, no explanation for his bad attitude, just random bursts of anger that led to venomous words falling off of his tongue.

Y/N hadn’t seem him actually happy in a while, and she had no idea what caused his outbursts.

She had been dealing with it, but the more he snapped, the harsher he was. She was starting to really dislike being around him, even more so, being at their shared house.

She had a breaking point, but he hadn’t yet hit it, until one Thursday night she had the girls over while the guys had a night out.

The wine had been passed around and they were all a little buzzed by the time the men returned home.

Shit truly hit the fan when Y/N gestured widely with her glass in hand.

She was always a clumsy person, that was no secret, and usually Calum would tolerate it with a smile on his face.

Until she spilled red wine all over Ashton’s white shirt. Everybody laughed it off, except for Y/N.

She rushed around trying to get the liquid out of the shirt it threatened to stain, and the minute her hands lingered on Ashton’s chest for a minute too long, Calum’s insecurities went haywire.

But in true Calum fashion, he refused to mention it to her until she noticed he was giving her the silent treatment after everybody had left for the night.

“Okay, enough,” she threw the cloth she was holding. “What have I done wrong now?”

Her tone was stern. She was sick of his random outbursts and bouts of silence. She didn’t deserve to be treated that way and she was determined to let him know that.

“Nothing,” came his curt response as he directed a look towards her that told her not to push it.

But she was never one for listening.

“No, Calum. I’m sick of this.” Her jaw was set as she folded her arms across her chest.

He let out a snide laugh, and her heart sank at the sound.

She had no idea what had gotten into Calum, but she really hated it. He was a boatload of insecurities and he took them all out on her.

“What do you have to be sick of? You sure looked fine when you were all over my best mate,” he rolled his eyes, setting his jaw to match hers.

“You’re joking!” She laughed louder than she should have, completely intent on reciprocating the sarcasm dropping from his tongue. “I was trying to clean his shirt, but oh no, I’m guessing in your mind, I want him!”

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” he mumbled under his breath, turning to walk away from her.

“What did you just say?” She gaped.

He was scared of losing her. It was no excuse, but he was so terrified of her finding love in another and it made his insecurities flare up. He had been hurt many times before, and he was preparing himself for the worst.

He just didn’t realize how far he was pushing her.

She grabbed onto his shoulder and spun him around to face her.

“What did you say,” she spoke through a clenched jaw. She had enough. She was sick of being made to feel as if she couldn’t be around any other male.

“I said, it wouldn’t surprise me,” he spat and he watched as her face fell slightly.

She shook her head, puffing her cheeks as she did so.

“You are ridiculous, Calum.” Her hands were on her hips and her brows were set in fury, “So first, it was random bullshit that you had a bad day and decided to take it out on me, then you were jealous, and now you’re accusing me of wanting to be with somebody else?”

Her eyes were wide and he offered her no answer, instead choosing to clench and un-clench his jaw while looking anywhere but at her.

“News flash, Calum!” She was shouting now. It wasn’t the first time he had accused her of something similar, “I’m not going to cheat on you, or leave you or whatever! You can trust me!”

He wanted to feel sad, almost hurt that he caused such pain to seep into her tone, but all he saw was red.

“How can I trust you? How can I trust you when you were all over him tonight? Huh?”

The limit was hit. She couldn’t take it anymore.

“Fine, you don’t trust me, then get out.”

There was no room for argument. She disappeared upstairs as he scoffed behind her, collecting a bag full of his clothes and throwing it out onto the front lawn.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N. I’m not leaving,” his heart started to hammer along in his chest.

She was calm. A scary sort of calm that sent sweat pooling on his heavy palms.

“I’m not staying in a house with somebody who can’t trust me, Calum.” She blinked, grabbing his keys and snatching the door to their house off of the ring before tossing the car keys to him. “Get out.”

They went back and forth until ultimately, Calum was knocking on Michael’s front door with tears in his eyes.

She was beyond angry with Calum and in pain over the argument with Calum. They hadn’t spoken since.

Unfortunately, the same weekend after she kicked him out, the guys and their significant others were at her house for a celebratory party.

One of their songs had become number 1 in some country. She was far too tired to remember. Especially after Calum had walked in.

She expected to see him, but she didn’t expect the pain that came along with the sight of her boyfriend.

Thankfully, there were more than enough people to successfully help her evade him, but not enough to keep her away from the man who wouldn’t stop chatting her ears off.

His name, Steve maybe? She couldn’t remember. The amount of alcohol running through her veins made sure of it, and she was sure she stopped his intoxicated chatter at least 5 times to ask him for his name.

In her drunken state she managed to catch Calum’s eyes from across the room and she saw his flare once he saw the man standing beside her.

Fingers clicking in her face pulled her attention away from her boyfriend.

“Are you even listening?” A gruff voice asked. It wasn’t the attractive kind of gruffness, like how Calum’s voice is when he first wakes up, but more of a voice tainted by years of cigarette smoke, and alcohol abuse, following a naturally irritating tone.

She smiled at him, intending to return to politely listening to him ramble about his high paying but low effort job.

“Sorry, I saw somebody and got distracted,” she slurred, leaning against the table and rubbing her head. Unknowingly giving the man a perfect view of her cleavage if he were to look hard enough.

A gross smirk worked onto his face and Y/N jumped as his hand connected with her backside.

“Excuse me-“

“Let’s go up to a room, yeah?” His eyes were heavy, and she flinched as he wrapped an arm round her shoulder, roughly groping the flesh he has clasped in his other hand.

“No thank you, I have a boyfriend,” she dug her heels into the ground as he tried to pull her along with him, and she could faintly see Calum’s eyes bore into the two of them.

The man scoffed, “And? I’ve got a dog at home but I still gave the little rat you’ve got upstairs a pat.”

“What did you just say about Duke?” Her anger intensified, her drunken state more worried about defending her dog than focusing on his sleezy proposition.

His hands moved up her waist, brushing her boobs as they continued up.

She shivered at the contact, feeling sick to her stomach.

“Get your hands off of me, you dog hater!” without thinking, she lifted the hand she held her cup in and threw it in the mans face.

He went silent for a moment, barely allowing her heart to beat once before she connected with the ground. Her cheek was throbbing, tears pricking her eyes.

She could barely register the commotion around her, as a head of brown curls flew towards the man and tackled him to the ground.

Three more figures rushed to pull him off of the man, and she couldn’t stop herself from clambering towards him when she saw it was Calum.

Ashton grabbed the man by the neck, dragging him towards the front of the house as Luke yelled at everybody to leave.

“It’s okay, love. I’ve got you,” Calum cooed.

She could barely think of why she was mad at him. In that moment, all she could focus on was the pain in her cheek and the feeling of his arms around her.

He ordered somebody to bring him ice, before pulling her up the stairs to their bedroom. The same one she had slept in on her own for the past couple of nights.

Except for whoever delivered the ice, they were alone in the room. Duke worked his way onto the bed to lay in his owners lap as Calum inspected her face.

“M’sorry,” she whispered into the air, her head feeling as if it were swaying. The ache intensifying from where she hit the ground.

“What for, baby?” He asked, pressing a package of frozen peas to her cheek.

“That guy touched me. Maybe he thought that I want to cheat on you like you do,” she was slurring her words. The whiskey in her blood was not doing her any favors as she tried to communicate with her boyfriend. “I don’t want to cheat on you. I love you too much, you insecure bastard.”

He snorted at the seriousness in her tone. She was observing him with a purpose.

Her mouth was moving, lacking the filter provided from her brain.

“How could anybody want to cheat on you? Have you seen you? You’re hot as fuck.” Her words were slightly muffled by the bag of peas. “I’m sorry I ruined the party. I didn’t want him to hit me.”

Calum put his hands on either side of her face, making sure to watch her cheek.

“Baby, you didn’t ruin the party.”

“But everybody left-“

“And? I don’t care about everybody else,” Calum’s eyes bore into her bleary ones, and he struggled to think of why he felt so insecure in their relationship. “I care about you, and only you. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there with you tonight, love. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you.”

He truly felt horrible. If he were with her, he could have kept her safe. He could have kept that sleezy guy away from her. Kept his hands off of her.

“S’okay, Cal.” She grinned behind the bag of peas, “You showed him whose boss!”

Her drunken state wasn’t the most ideal for them to discuss the issue of the past few weeks, but he made a note to do so in the morning.

He knew deep in his heart that she loved him, and it was about time he grew up and put trust into her as she did with him.

“I’m sorry he touched me,” she pouted looking down at her body. “His hands felt gross. Yours are better.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, pulling her close to him.

“He won’t touch you again, baby. I promise you.”

“Thank you, macho man,” she relaxed against him, letting her eyes fall shut with a sigh. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.”

“Also,” she sat up, letting the bag fall from her face. “If you tell me you don’t trust me again, then you can walk that fine ass out the door and I’m keeping our son.”

He chuckled softly at her, ignoring the twinge in his heart at the reminder of his disgusting words.

“Okay, Lizzo. I promise, I trust you,” she kissed him quickly, pulling back to let him continue talking. “My fine ass isn’t going anywhere unless your fine ass is right beside me, promise.”

“I do have a fine ass, don’t I?” She beamed at him.

#calum hood #calum hood x reader #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #michael clifford #5sos #5 seconds of summer #requested #calum hood angst #calum hood fluff

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wavbleu · 4 years ago

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Chris Evans: Daddy issues

Kinks: Older men, rough, praise, slight degradation, Size kink, practically anything somebody with daddy issues would enjoy.

( i decided to smush daddy issues along with the babysitter plot) also, if you want a lengthy slow burn story read all the way through, if you just want the scene😉😉😉 just scroll down and look for the sign " *~*"

oh big daddy evans, may i please suck yo big juicy monstrous cock😩‼️

~~~~

~Backstory~

This was your first babysitting gig, you never thought you'd have to resort to watching a bunch of little kids for money (As you never really liked them) but you desperately needed the money for rent. You already work 2 jobs, babysitting was just quick and easy money for you.

You live with your unfortunate drunken father in a small 2 bedroom apartment, you've been living there for years, for so long that the appliances are starting to go rusty. Perhaps it is better than living out in the streets, but its no looker. Your father doesn't have a job and doesnt want one either, always refuses to help out around the house because its "A womans job."; Or even be there for you; He barely even deserves the title 'Dad' .

It hasnt always been like this though, your mother left him to go pursue her held-back dreams while you were 8, and left you to stay with your dad, that was her biggest mistake yet. You havent seen her since. Now he just sits on his ass all day drinking away all his problems and complaining about yours.

thats until a single father asks for you to babysit his kid...

~~~

You slowly drove through the gated neighborhood and observed all the beautiful houses and tall hills, you were in absolute awe. You could only dream living in a place this wealthy. "The pay here must be amazing." first thing popping into your mind as you looked at all the Lambo's and Ferrari's.

You drove around the block searching for the designated house, "210"

"205..206...208....210!" You mumbled to yourself cheerfully, finally finding the house, you pulled into the drive way and put your car in park.

You took a moment of silence to prepare yourself for a long night of loud screaming and toddler tantrums, breathing in.. exhaling out. After a couple of breaths and positive affirmations, you finally gathered the courage and patience to get out of the car, when you got out; you were introduced to the beautiful sight of the house the man lived in, it looked even greater up close.

It was absolutely breathtaking, you felt obligated to take at least a second to examine and admire the outstanding beauty of the home, it was probably the best on the block. You couldn't even bother to guess how much the house was worth as you estimated its probably worth more than you as a person and everything you own x10.

You slowly walked up to the front door, still admiring your surroundings.

You hesitantly knocked and stood back, fiddling with your fingers and jacket, hoping that the owner heard your soft knocks.

You observed the fine wooden door before you, looking at the stained glass above it. Fascinated , you'd slowly graze your fingers upon the engraved designs on the wooden door. Tracing your finger on all the swirls and squiggles. "Wow.." You'd exhale in captivation.

You heard the front door loudly swing open, snapping you of your trance like state, also making you jump back a little.

"Oh-" you'd gasp before your breath fell to an immediate halt, your eyes were met with a tall well-built man, with a well groomed black suit on and a long black tie to match. His hair was dark brown, slightly gelled to the side.

You felt your palms start to sweat and your knees start to tremble just looking at him.

"Hi?" You'd mumble slightly intimidated by his attractiveness , giving a small wave and awkwardly scratching your shoulder.

"Hello little one" He smiled down at you, he noticed how nervous and shy you were, and wanted to simmer you down. But it only made it worst.

"Im the babysitter." You'd shakily say, feeling dominated just by being in his presence.

Immediately, the man took interest and began slightly leaning on the door, a subtle smirk forming on his face.. "Really? i thought you were the muffin man." You'd both let out a little laugh.

"Sorry that was a dad joke." ,"But im aware of that already." , "Whats your name again?" He looks down at you awaiting your answer. "Oh uh, Y/n" You muttered.

"Y/n." ," You have a gorgeous name." He said with a deeper , more husky voice. "Thank you." You felt your face heat up and your heart thump. "Anytime."

He'd let out a light chuckle at your cluelessness, "You know y/n, there's a doorbell right there." , he jokingly pressed it, the doorbell let out a loud ring.

"your lucky i was near or wouldn't have heard your soft knocks and would've left you standing out here in the cold"

"We wouldn't want that would we?" He said, with that deep husky voice again.

"No, i really would not." You would clear your throat and trembling, finding yourself mesmerized by his voice. "Come in silly girl." He invites, holding the door open wide enough for you to enter, then closing it behind you.

The interior didn't fail to amaze you with its beauty either, this home was drop dead gorgeous inside and out.

"May i?" He stops you and offers to take off your jacket, you nod; stepping in front of him and spreading your arms back.

He slowly slid your jacket off your arms, not trying to be too rough on you since you were smaller than him.

Once the jacket was off, he'd plaster a charming smile on his face and say "There you go." then going to go hang it on the coat rack. "Im guessing you want to take off your shoes yourself." He joked.

Although you'd love for him to give you that feeling again, you figured itd be weird for him to touch your feet.

"Haha Yea." You giggle, beginning to untie your shoelaces, "Thats alright, when your shoes are off put them next to those shiny black ones"

"And when your done, take a seat in the living room over there; make yourself at home." He pointed to the white chair with a navy blue pillow sitting on top of it.

You slid off your shoes and put it next to the large pair of black shiny shoes. "His feet is so much bigger than mines" His feet were twice the size of yours, you'd take a deep gulp, as your shoe made of up half of his entire foot.

You got up and slowly navigated your way to the white chair, admiring the interior on the way, and hesitantly took a seat. Still somewhat cautious of your surroundings.

The living room was covered with legos , cars, babydolls and toys, with a loud kids show displayed on tv, the brightness was up so high that the colors from the tv made you feel like you were gonna go blind. "Shit." Youd mumble before going to shied your face, You helplessly rummaged for the remote with no luck.

Chris saw what was happening as he was passing by came to help.

"I apologize." Chris apologizes, grabbing the remote and shutting the tv off. "He always turns up the brightness after i tell him not too, hes gonna make himself go blind." , "Are you ok?" He asked with a worrisome voice, putting a hand on your shoulder. "Yes im perfectly fine, atleast i hope so." You'd rub your eyes trying to get your normal sight back.

Apologetically, he bent down to the sofas level and handed you the remote with a smile. "Go crazy, we have netflix and disney +" , "Thank you sir." You thank, he'd ruffle your hair then continued to walk to the the kitchen..

You set the remote aside and followed Chris , although you would love to keep flirting with him, you still have to do what your getting paid for.

"Need something?" He exclaims as he sees you following behind him with a curious face.

"Yes sir" You'd politely say , clearing your throat , trying to come off as more professional.

"Is there anything i need to know about your child?" You sit down at one of the seats on the island, tuning into his words and listening for instructions.

He'd open the fridge and grab out the orange juice, "Yea, His name is carson, he hates anything thats the color orange.." He takes a swish of the juice " I want him in bed by 8, no sugar before bed." He sternly demands, "Hes already got sleeping problems and giving him sugar will just make him bounce off the walls." another swish "Thats it." He finishes the bottle.

"Well sir, if you dont mind me asking where are you going." , you say hoping that you arent coming off as invasive. "A meeting at my office." ,"Corporate is gonna be there so its quite important, and far."

"Is your job boring." Youd ask trying to keep the conversation afloat, "Obviously it is darling, its a job." he'd say in that deep tone once again , leaning over the counter to look you in the eyes "Right.." You'd mutter, your breath picking up speed.

"Anyways do you wanna meet carson?" He'd say breaking the tension, then going to toss the empty orange juice box into the trash. "Yea of course" You'd say in a shaky tone, finding yourself almost hypnotized by his deep voice once again.

"Carson?! The babysitters here!" He loudly called upstairs. Man could he yell, his voice sounded like a siren.

Minutes later, a little boy came running into the kitchen, with a barbie doll in hand. "Hi little man!" You cooed at the little boy, with the kindest smile to give off a friendly impression.

"Im y/n, your babysitter for tonight!" You said in a high pitched voice, the little boy just gave a blank stare; then smiled. "Your pretty." He'd mutter, then letting out a small giggle. You felt your heart burst open, exploding with cuteness and adorableness. Getting compliments from toddlers always felt amazing. Carson is a charmer, just like his father.

"Well aren't you the sweetest little thing?", you'd pinch his chubby cheek.

"Looks like someone has a crush." Chris joked, "Ive gotta go." Chris mutters after checking his watch "Carson, have fun with the cute babysitter." he'd wink at you, then swiftly went to snatch his case off the island and walked out the kitchen

"Bye-bye!" Carson would wave, "Bye kid." Chris responded back. You both watched Chris leave out the doors.

"Wheres your room charmer?" You say with a soft yet fun and engaging voice, just to keep him happy.

He'd drag you upstairs to his room.

~Time skip to 8pm~

"Will daddy be home soon?" Carson whispered while tucked in bed. "Yes daddy will be home.." You'd check your watch. "Very soon!", "You'll be far in dreamland by then though." You smiled and booped his nose, "Alright!" He smiled cuddling up into his unicorn plushy, getting into a comfortable position.

"Want the nightlight on?" , "Yes please!" he responded, you switched on the nightlight, and watched as it lit up the whole room with stars and space ships. You were amazed as if you were a little kid too. "Goodnight, and the bed bugs WONT bite." You say, leaving his room and carefully closing the door.

"That wasnt as bad as i expected." You sighed. You began feeling a tinkling feeling arise in you giving you the signal that you needed to pee, "Wheres the bathroom in this place?" You question, frantically opening doors left and right with little to no luck, everything being either a closet or a guest room.

You opened another door, hoping it was the desired destination, only to find Chris' room. It was quite big for a singular person. "I shouldn't look." You say, "Curiosity killed the cat." You hopelessly reminded yourself, but something in you wanted to look around and find out more about him as a person.

So you looked.

You walked over to his dresser and looked at all the photos neatly arrayed on it. It was all pictures of Carson winning something or getting an award at school. You smirked, but felt some kind of jealousy spark in you for some reason.

i wish i had that.

You came across one photo that was flipped over to where you cant see it, you decided to pick it up and look at it. It was a family photo, this time with a woman included. She was pretty, like super model pretty. Judging from how the picture was flipped over and how she doesn't live here you figured they divorced, and it was bad.

You were gonna to continue looking through the photos until you heard an "Ahem." from behind you. You felt your heart jump, swiftly turning around and attempting to find a good excuse.

"I was looking for the bathroom-" You panicked, Your breath quickened, as he walked over with a smug smirk on his face then stopping right before you.

He firmly grasped your chin and lifted it up, "Thank you for taking care of Carson, hes never fell asleep when he's supposed to." , you slowly nodded and plastered a crooked smile on your face. "Now, what make you wanna go through my things little one?" He says with that tone again.

"Im sorry, i just got really curious and-" , "You know i could easily cut money off your good paycheck for this?" He gritted his teeth, he was pissed.

"Im sorry." You say with a nervous and scared tone, "Its alright im joking with ya." He laughed, letting go of your chin and walking away. "Man your fun to get." He chuckled.

*~*

You let out a anxious yet relieved chuckle, trying to process what the hell just happened.

"All of your photos of you and Carson are so cute." You say hoping to clear the air, unhurriedly taking a seat on his bed, whilst chris begins undressing his suit. "Thank you, me and Carson are quite photogenic." He replies, "I even kind of find myself jealous of you 2." you say in a more depressing voice.

"Jealous?" He questions, walking over to you and takes a seat next to you on the bed. "Why are you jealous?" He asks again, "My relationship with my father is fucked." you mutter. "You do everything for Carson, you'd give your life away for him in a drop of a hat."

"My dad wouldn't do this for me even if he was paid too. He'd probably spend all the money on crack anyway." , "Im sorry." he apologized, as if he did something wrong.

"its not you its just fucking daddy issues." You laughed wiping away the gathering tears in your eyes, "If you wanna talk to me you can let it out." He says, "I think your swell." he smiles and ruffles your hair again. You'd go in for a hug, he wraps his arms around you and kisses your forehead.

You'd pull away and stare, he reciprocated. "What are you looking at?" He whispers, glancing down at your lips and back at you.

You attached your lips onto his , resting your hand on his cheek. You felt as he gripped your hips and pulled you onto his thigh, straddling it.

You exchanged pecks and tongue, letting the heat between you to flow back and forth and take control. You let out a small moan as he guided your hips back and forth; creating friction on your clit. Smiling, he kissed your neck and left a hickey as he continued to thigh fuck you.

"Fuck~" You'd moan, grinding some more for more friction, "Needy one arent you?" He whispers into your ear, "Let me take care of you." He lifts you up off his knee, then slowly laid your body onto the bed.

"Take off your pants." He commanded, you slowly began working your sweatpants off, revealing to him your beautiful figure.

"Perfect." He mumbles, "Open your legs." He watched as you slowly spread apart your legs, showing him the wet spot on your panties.

"Your already wet for me?" He smiles, pressing his thumb down on the wet spot. He hovered himself over you, and kissed you and he teased your cunt through your underwears. You softly moaned as you felt his thumb go in small circles around your clit, kissing him became a challenge as it was constantly interrupted by your moans.

"Please stop teasing me" You ask, wanting more.

"Fine~" he goes to take off your soaked panties, "Wow." He said, as he removed the white panties , strings of your juices followed it. "I dont think i can tease you any longer, i need you now." He says with a needy tone, flipping you over to all fours.

He took off his black tie and tied your wrists together, making sure its knotted but not tight.

You heard his pants unbuckle and jangle, and his pants drop to the floor, you sat there with anticipation but also with slight fear.

"I was thinking of you at the meeting." He started, "Not an innocent kind of thinking either." ,"When you called me sir it did something to me." He bit his lip, then eagerly slid into you. His thick cock becoming covered in your juices. You both let out a small gasp.

"So i want you to call me sir again." He says pulling you hair back, looking you directly into the eyes. You obeyed "Yes sir." , he smiled with satisfaction . "Atta girl."

He let go of your hair putting you back into your original position, face down , ass up.

You moaned as he gave you slow-paced yet hard and deep strokes, he watched as you moaned while he teased your g-spot. You began to whimper and whine, wanting more than that. "Please go faster." You moaned into the sheets, "What was that?" He said giving you a obviously super hard stroke as you forgot to call him sir. You let out a soft whine from the pain and quickly corrected yourself "Please go faster..." "..sir." you say in a soft yet sexy tone.

"Alright baby."," Brace yourself." He said before beginning to pound your little cunt, you were surprised at how fast he was going that you actually started to brace yourself.

You felt so powerless and vulnerable with your hands tied behind your back, the only thing you were able to do was moan and just take his 9 inch cock. "You were hoping for this werent you, little slut." He talked, "You wanted me to fuck you ever since you got here." he growled "Hm?" he says waiting for your response "Yes sir i did!" You admit, he began digging his dull nails into your hips and bringing you onto his cock harder. "Well you got what you want now fucking take it." He whispered.

"I think im gonna-" You moan, "Oh no your not." He says flipping you onto your back. He began taking off the tie, enabling you to move again.

"This is gonna be deep." He moaned.

You watched as he began towering himself over you, grasping onto the headboard for better balance and stability. "You can stop when you cant take it anymore." he re-affirmed, "Just keep your legs open for me is all i need in return."you were pretty terrified, but in the best way possible.

He slowly slid his dick back into your cunt, giving a slow pity fuck, to start. "Thats it?" You thought to yourself, expecting something rougher.

But you spoke to soon, you watched as his grip on the headboard tightened and he started to prop himself up. He started to vigorously fuck you, moving his hips back and forth in an inhuman pace. You felt like a little flesh light the way he was using you.

You'd grip onto his waist to keep from cumming to fast, "Don't be scared to leave a mark." He moaned, you obeyed and started to dig your nails into his muscular back leaving scratches, he moaned in pain yet pleasure.

You struggled to keep your legs open, it felt so good that you could hardly even keep quiet. He had to aggressively force your legs back open. He let go of the head board, starting to kiss you and your neck as he desperately fucked himself into your tight and throbbing hole.

"Why dont we play with this thing hm?" He whispers as he reached a hand down to occupy your swollen clit. "Be a good girl and cum for me" He smiles upon you, "You can do it, cum." He asks again.

He spat onto your cunt and swirled his thumb around your clit, he bit his lip as he felt it throb and your legs shake, "Oh so sensitive." He cooed.

You started to feel that tinkling sensation again, and felt it quickly override your whole body before it exploded. He watched as your eyes rolled back, "Thats it!" He'd smile as you squirted onto his chest, making an absolute mess everywhere..

"Alright my turn." He says gripping onto your hips, making your lower body lift up, and pounding himself into your hole. Like you were a toy. You watched from below as he ferociously used your cunt, extremely needy to cum. He loved how tight you got after your climax and couldn't hold on any longer.

"Fuck im gonna-" He moans subby, "Shit-" he says again, stroking himself into you one more time before letting out a warm load into you. "Fuck-" He moaned again, falling onto you. Doing one more stroke to make sure your filled up with his juices.

"You did such a good job for me baby." He kissed your cheek, "Thank you sir.", he lifted back up to inspect the headboard. "Shit.", He smacked his teeth, "This always happens." , "What does?" You asked. "I put a dent in the headboard when i gripped it." ,"What am i gonna tell them this time." , " That i was fucking my sons babysitter and got out of hand?" , "They'd call cps on me." He joked, you both let out a laugh.

You yawned exhausted, "Im so proud of you for taking me with no complaints." He places another kiss on your forehead. "No problem." You respond.

"Now go pee." He giggles, reminding you before you drift off to sleep.

~~~

(edited)

#chris evans #smut

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imaginesmai · 5 years ago

Text

Peter Parker - See the light (6)

Next part, here it goes! I’m a bit sad because it’s not getting much notes, even though it’s one of the works I’m most proud of... Anyway, I’ll keep uploading, don’t worry!

Plot: Peter is showing you who he really is inside, but there is someone - or two - who doesn’t like that.

Small sneak peek

First part

Second part

Third part

Fourth part

Fifth part

Peter had had to leave halfway through a story about Tony Stark, his wonderful mentor, where they had built a small figure that helped them in the shop; Jarvis, they called him. He had smiled all through the story, his eyes shining with pride as he moved his arms around trying to explain you why the figure was a he, not a it. Finally, after almost freezing to death, he had realized it was too cold, so he went to look for more wood. It had been a little awkward, since you had become tangled with your hair and limbs, and he had fallen on top of you two times; but after blushing and stuttering, the boy had left.

You kept staring his way until he disappeared, a silly smile on your face. That night, you discovered a new Peter, someone sweet and caring, that had been hurt too many times. You were so busy looking at him that you didn’t notice the presence behind you.

“Thank god!” a new voice suddenly announced behind you, shocking you. “I thought he’d never leave. What was that? A parrot of a boy?”

Turning around, you were met with your mother, who was standing in the darkness. The firelight barely illuminated her face, but you could see the malice in her eyes as she looked towards where Peter had left. In the tree line, she stood tall like a creature you would be warned away from. Pascal, who had been resting peacefully against the log, hid between some bushes.

“Mother” you sighed, not feeling happy about her being there.

“Treasure” she rushed forwards, taking you in her arms. She forced you up and hugged you tight, with a bruising force. You winced when her grip became just too tight, but she didn’t let go. “My lovely, precious treasure. I thought you had been stolen from me!”

“How – how did you find me?”

“Oh, it was easy, really” she said, sarcasm on her voice. “I just listened to the sound of complete and utter betrayal and followed that”

You swallowed and frowned. You had seen her many times angry, so many times that you knew that was fake.

“Mother, I – “

She pulled away as soon as she had hugged you, hard face. You took a second to look at the clothes she was wearing; long cape, winter dress and a bag big enough to carry food for a month; and a dagger. You gaped at seeing that, because there was no way that was only for a few days. Your mother had been following you for a while, yet you didn’t have time to ask her as she gripped your wrist.

“Come on, we’re going home” she ordered. With a strong yank, she was pulling you onto unsteady feet and dragging you toward the treeline.

As the world became darker and got farther from the fire, you started to whine. Part of you wanted to call out for Peter, but the other part wanted to prove your mother that you were mature enough to handle that. Life out of the tower had proven to be funny, and had made you smile more times than you had done in your whole life; you certainly didn’t want to go back.

“I don’t – mother, I’m happy now!” you gripped her wrist with your hands. “I’ve seen so many things, and I’ve learnt… a lot and, uh – I think… mother, I’ve met someone”

“Yes, treasure, I understand” she whispered, cupping your cheek. “You’ve met a thief, a low life, someone who has no manners – how proud I am, Y/N!”

It made you frown the way she talked about Peter. Not once in your life you had thought different from your mother, and you had always understood that what she did was for your own good; but the small remark about the boy didn’t hit you well, and you finally broke the grip your mother had on you.

Cradling the hand to your chest, you glared at her; and she gasped, surprised.

“No, mother. He’s not like that! I think…. I think he likes me” you looked down, blushing.

“What?” she let out a loud laugh, throwing her head back. “What? Do you think he likes you? The freak with the long hair? Don’t be silly, Y/N. He can’t like you, have you seen yourself? Just… listen to me, treasure, mother knows be –“

“No”

“No?”

You looked back to the camp, and saw Peter’s tunic resting on the log. It was still wet from the water, but he had insisted in using it to sit on, instead of the cold wood. Going back to your mother no longer meant only giving up your dream, but leaving behind the best person you had ever met behind. So you shook your head confidently.

Your mother’s locks bounced up and down when she stepped back, as if she had been stabbed. Quickly, she ran forwards and took a grip on your hair, so hard that tears rushed to your hears. Her eyes, burning with rage and hate, made you want to scream for Peter; but it was gone as soon as it had come.

“I see” she nodded, and searched for something in her bag. “He doesn’t want anything more than this. Give it to him, and he’ll be gone”

The crown hit the ground with a metal sound, yet it didn’t break. It broke out from the bag, and its gems shone with the fire behind you. You bent down to pick it, and looked at it. It wasn’t that beautiful once the daylight was gone, but still you felt yourself being drawn towards it.

“You’re wrong” you muttered, your fingers turning white around the object. “I trust him”

“Give him the satchel, and watch how fast he runs” your mother leaned close before talking again. “And if I’m right, don’t come back crying. Remember, Y/N, I know best.”

The last thing you saw of your mother was her stone-cold eyes, boring into your brain with hate, before she turned and put the hood back. To the rest of the world, the leaves moving and a shadow being reflected on one tree were the only proofs that your mother had shattered that night your heart.

You stood there, staring at the spot where she had disappeared until you heard more footsteps under the leaves. You turned around, eyes instantly looking for the pan that was resting against one tree. The vision was cloudy, since you had wet eyes, but you managed to do fine when you heard Peter’s voice.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” he asked. When you noticed you couldn’t see him yet, you quickly hid the object in your bag. “Would there be, uh, any possibly for my hand to be super strong? Like full of webs, or something?”

“Webs?” you chuckled weakly. Peter appeared with his hands full of logs, muscles flexing under his white shirt. He had beams of sweat running down his forehead, but he looked adorable.

“Yeah!” he smiled. “Traveling through the forest would be much more easier if I could just swing around. That would awesome! Can you – Y/N?”

You plastered a fake smile on your face, your eyes squinting too hard to stop the tears from falling, and the weight of your bag too heavy. You shifted from one foot to another, trying to not seem sad.

“Y-yeah. I’m, um, I’m sorry. Just... thinking“ you tucked your hair behind your ear, clapping your hand on your front.

Peter was silent for a minute, probably not fully believing you. There was no way he could have heard the conversation with your mother, you really hoped so, yet he seemed suspicious. His brown eyes ran over your body carefully, not in the way some of those men in the cavern had done. He looked to every corner, to the tips of your hands and the toes of your feet, looking for injuries, you guessed. After a while he seemed satisfied, so he let the logs fall and kept talking about he benefits of having spider-powers.

Without him noticing, you looked back to the tree. Behind it, stood hidden your bag, with the crown Peter so badly wanted. You didn’t want to think about it, so you sat back and smiled at the boy.

Even if you weren’t wearing it, as the hours passed, the bag became heavier.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter woke up to the feeling of water being dripped onto his nose; and for a moment, he was transported back to his old house, where the leaks on the ceiling were a common occurrence. He had one on top of his bed, and sometimes, during the night, it reopened itself; so Peter woke up to a wet bed. He scrunched his nose and rubbed it, turning into his side and mumbling to let him sleep.

Maybe he could still scratch some minutes from May, or from Ben, whoever was trying to wake him up. When the water didn’t stop, he opened one eye and yawned, interrupting the whine he was going to emit. But there was no angry aunt or uncle, neither a persistent leak on the ceiling. He was laying the grass, with his bag as a pillow, and a very angry horse in front of him.

Not fully registering what was going one, Peter blinked slowly.

“Oh, hey. I hope you’re here to apologize” he said, before another yawn interrupted him.

The horse huffed and snapped it’s perfect teeth. Peter just closed his eyes back, wondering how much damage a horse could really do; but then, the animal craned its neck and bit down on his ankle.

Peter shouted in surprise, and the horse started to pull him back towards the water. He had no idea what it’s intention was with him once he got him into the lake, but he didn’t allow too much thought on the matter.

Instead, Peter clawed at the ground frantically, rooting his fingers into the soil and engaging in a game of tug of war between him and the horse. The animal had his boot clamped firmly between its teeth; and Peter just screamed louder, higher and more.

“No, no, no!” Peter panicked as the horse kept tugging. “Let go! God, let go!”

Suddenly, another pair of hands were on him, and you were tugging to the other side. You wrapped your hands around his wrist and tugged forward; so hard, that Peter found himself not touching the ground, just being stretched on the air.

“Give – give him back” you grumbled, clearly loosing. You were being dragged with your unmoving feet towards the lake.

Peter was launched forwards when the horse tugged harder, and only got the boot between his teeth. The boy fell on top of you, with the bad luck that one of his hands, in an effort of not crushing you completely, fell on your chest. His fingers curled around what he thought was land; and when he finally realised it wasn’t by your wide eyes and red cheeks, he quickly retracted his hand. Ending into him chin-butting you on the cheek.

After the mess of limbs got solved, with an embarrassingly amount of time, the horse was back on his balance and ready to strike back. You got between the horse and Peter, even when the animal got closer.

“Hey – hey – hey! Calm down, come one… calm down!”

The horse kept the game for a little longer, until it fixed its eyes on you, and on the chameleon on the top of your head that moved his little paws slow. It seemed confused for a second, until it calmed down. The boot was on its mouth.

“That’s it” you smiled slowly. “Now, why don’t you sit?”

First, it lowered its butt to the ground, yet didn’t touch it. With a stern look from you and from Pascal, the horse sat down with an annoyed huff.

“Good, now let go of the boot” the horse didn’t do so, so you repeated yourself. “Let the boot down”

Physically, Peter knew the horse couldn’t roll its eyes; but he watched from the corner of the tree, where he was shamefully hiding, how the horse rolled its eyes and let the boot down. You smiled brightly, not noticing Peter babbling incoherent things in the background, and quickly pet the horse.

You scratched behind its ear, and the horse purred.

“That’s it, you’re a very good horse!” you giggled, and the horse moved its tail. “You’re tired from chasing this bad boy around everywhere, aren’t you?”

“E-excuse me!” Peter tried to protest from behind you, still not believing his eyes.

“Poor thing, no one values you, right?”

“Come on, are you serious? He’s the bad horse!” Peter snapped. A glare from the horse stopped him from talking more.

With your praises and petting, soon the horse was rubbing its head against your shoulder, emitting happy noises as you scratched his back. You discovered its name was Maximus, and from Peter’s short explanation, that it was the captain of the guard’s horse. Peter was still dumbfounded by the fact that Maximus was understanding what you were saying; then again, he was traveling with a girl with magic hair and a chameleon as a pet.

And a wonderful, soft voice that had made him walk closer until he was right besides you, worries gone.

“Look, today is like… the most important day of my life? And I really need you not to arrest him” you grabbed Peter by the arm, and pulled him closer. “Only 24 hours? Then, you can keep chasing each other again!”

Peter blinked, swallowing down a laugh. He was making deals with a horse, who hated him because of its owner. It was tense for a while, until you muttered that it was your birthday and the horse fucking raised its leg. Not knowing really well what to do, he gripped It and shook it lightly.

He didn’t have to do much more or to think about what you had done because you tackled him into a hug. Your feet lifted from the ground and he had to catch you in order not to bump on the horse. Peter was hit instantly with your sweet smell, and he relaxed, smiling. The boy pressed you close to him, trying to remember the last time someone hug him; even if they did, the hug was different, and he was enjoying every second.

When you teared away, your faces were inches apart. He shifted his eyes between your lips, parted, and your eyes, bright. Some bells were sounding in the background, but neither of you moved your arms. Slowly, your faces inched closer, and just when Peter was going to close his eyes and probably do what he had been wanting to since he woke up in that tight closet, he was met with a very sharp tongue on his hear.

“Damnit!” Peter shirked back, body curling around his ear as a sneaky chameleon fell to the ground, proud smirk on his face.

Peter rubbed his ear, glaring at Pascal. He looked up to talk to you, maybe to say you that he was sorry or that he wanted to try that again but with a different ending. However, your attention wasn’t with him anymore, rather on the city that came to life behind the hill.

You had made it to the kingdom.

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humanmosquito · 5 years ago

Text

this is definitely gonna be a ramble-y post but i’ll neaten it when i’m done. (edit: didn’t really but I’m sick of this sitting here already)

I’ve put this under a cut for obvious reasons. There’s more things I didn’t like about this book but I forgot most of the plot immediately after reading it.

Given the usual time skips in Clare’s work you’d think this would be 6 months down the line and Livvy would have been completely forgotten about and is mentioned sporadically to motivate the main characters.

I’m not really buying the shock of Livvy’s sudden death i would say Clare’s done a job here and she’s certainly tried, but i’m not buying it.

Her treatment of Gay Characters (capitalisation necessary) is bad but so much worse with Alec than any others and i hate reading about her Alec bc of the way she infantilises him. Also has Clare seriously not found any way to solve problems in her own fictional universe without constantly reintroducing the same guy??? (who is also just a bunch of stereotypes of queer men) (Magnus)

you don’t need to use two separate images to describe people moving in the background, it’s fine.

why is Christina using Spanish pet names when we’ve never seen her using Spanish conversationally before? also, ( and this is a very specific thing to to be so worked up about like 4 years after i read it the first time) but why do whatshisname and Christina have to talk in English instead of implying the conversation was in Spanish but had been translated or even mention it at all? (okay, coming back in later to say that she does use Spanish randomly in this book, Clare has a habit of making Latine characters use Spanish randomly to show they’re Latine.

isn’t Mark 20 or something? I’m legitimately confused about these lines.

there’s no need to suddenly start using fancier language for two whole sentences. also you can just say she visited a wax museum or even Just Madame Tussaud’s (which i’m guessing is the place we’re talking about). also: why is all the dialogue in this book so stiff and overly formal? I know they’re in shock and some of them are functionally strangers but it’s still so off from how people normally speak. (I’m willing to excuse the faerie characters because everyone who writes faeries makes them speak super flowery but that’s it)

there’s no break between Mark and Helen’s POV.

I’m pretty sure than Simon is secular, why is he suddenly sprouting hebrew? (CC makes no effort to show him engaging with judaism in any form and has him Christmas shopping at one point in tmi)

wouldn’t that make it much easier to break in? (this is needlessly pedantic, I know)

A lot of people said that Emma just becomes a way to talk about how amazing Julian is and I’m beginning to see that. She focuses on the sound he makes walking along a hallway way too much. (Also: coming back a week later to add that Julian just gets worse and worse and for a character that we’re supposed to love(?), he has absolutely no redeeming qualities.)

Doesn’t witchlight only light up when a shadowhunter is holding it? I remember that from TID.

The rally with Dearborn feels like an attempt at the bit at the beginning of 1984 where they’re watching the propaganda video and the woman is crying out for big brother. also, there’s no way to write people chanting someone’s name that doesn’t make it feel like mediocre fanfiction, huh? The whole scene is very over the top and not at all like the actual process of radicalisation.

who thinks like this? Who thinks about themself like this?

The descriptions of the shadowhunters at the funeral are weird. Emma is described as putting on gear then wearing a dress, Christina has a gear jacket over a dress and Ty is in full gear.

she’s not even being subtle about stealing plot points from the tv show, is she?

why does she keep choosing random words to translate into Spanish? It isn’t necessary unless the word also means a specfic type of that word. A vela isn’t a specific type of candle, that’s just the Spanish word for candle.

Doesn’t Jonathon Shadowhunter creating runes go against tsc canon? No one could make new runes except Clary because of her extra angel blood. (I should know, I read the fucking Shadowhunter codex). (there are more instances of CC creating thing that go against canon but i kinda got bored of making this list after here)

(I know the answer to this one is just CC’s incest fetish but) Why did everybody just let Christina get engaged to her cousin?

I have to say that my suspension of disbelief lasted longer than I thought it would but it ends with Julian killing a Rider with a D&D figurine.

The whole Thule bit feels like it was copy-pasted from ao3 (While we’re on the subject of copied from ao3 “Ragnor Fell lives” is such a “saw it on Tumblr” cop out)

how did the cohort get Jaime? It’s not explained and I wish it was.

Julian sucks. capital-S Sucks. For the guy Emma is facing Losing her Shadowhunter life for and going into exile for, he’s a dick, with emotions he comes off as creepy, over-sexed and obsessed. Without he’s somehow even worse.

Zara calling Cl*ce disgusting and being called wrong for it is such an obvious dig at the people who criticised Clare when she wrote them nearly fucking in a ditch when they thought they were bio siblings. (I’m p sure they’re also adopted siblings and they consider the same man their dad, so it would still be incest.)

Also, she’s so one-dimensional and every scene with her, especially in the last 1/2 of the book was exactly the same. (emma attacks her but decides to let her go which was a ~mistake~ with consequences (consequences being “we see Zara again”))

It's not even a subtle D*mbl*dore's Army rip-off, huh?

I take back all the things I thought about Clare improving as a writer, chapter 33 makes literally no sense, also cannot do dialogue or consistent characterisation. (how did any of these get published, TMI especially)

Once again, Clare seems to be stealing plot points from the TV show. (Of course there’s going to be some overlap between the show and books even after it diverged from book canon but it’s getting pretty ridiculous at this point, isn’t it?).

Okay, every woc in this book is here to further the white protagonists’ story (which i guess is the purpose of supporting characters but the white supporting characters do fuck all) And i get they have their own love interests but it was super forced (don’t @ me for this, Kierarktina had potential but it was all rushed in the second half of this book because Clare realised what a cash cow it was)

Diana gets a little tropey (Speaking as a trans person) but her treatment b Vlare and the other characters was okay. I do wish she was allowed more personality than “no one can love me or know me because I’m trans” (it’s stupid and overused) and “helps the Blackthorns and Emma”. (also Clare knows that you don’t stop taking HRT, right? it isn’t a limited course, it’s not Gender-Changing Antibiotics.)

My final thing is that it went on way too long, like, insufferably long. (you’d think long enough to explain some plot holes, but no.)

#cursing out 12 yr old me for picking up clockwork angel now until forever #the dark artifices #tda #cassandra clare #anti cc #this was an experience i would not wish on anyone #book review

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