#who doesnt like to rob a train

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Trapped buck and chris is so close to being done i literally just have to do the hospital confrontation. But also i have to remember how to play dungeons and dragons by 6 pm tomorrow because i got sort of accidentally hired to run a game at a local comic book store so uh

[malwaredykes]

well. here she is. miss Leigh Stasik.

trans woman. stubborn, incorrigible, eccentric. communist; she has leftist in-fighting with herself on the regular. a cannibal; she has no moral qualms about this, and its both a bit of a spiritual thing and a bit of a pragmatic thing. medic (not a doctor. no medical license). she knows for sure she had some kind of significant personality change from being shot in the head, but she doesn't remember what she was like exactly before it happened, it all became this kind of distant memory soup. shes originally from west new cali, but she grew very attached to the mojave. and has a lot of contempt for the ncr. She Will Serve Crack Before She Serves This Country. thank god the army discriminates against transsexuals etc. zero tolerance for the legion, obviously.

she firmly believes she is not nice, or kind, or compassionate, but instead her actions and her general sense of justice stem from her simply doing whats the most logical and objectively beneficial. it may be true to some extent, but she might also have a wee bit of ocd of the "i am a horrible person whos at all times like 2 seconds away from committing atrocities" variety.

shes a SCIENTIST. unofficially. she doesnt have a degree nor a chosen field of study. she makes her own hrt and other mysterious concoctions, including designer chems. which she claims she ingests injects etc not for recreational purposes, but to Enhance Her Powers And Possibilities. she reads old world books about psychology so she can manipulate people better. and makes weird contraptions and doohickeys while high. shes a HACKER of course and hacks terminals and systems for fun and just to see if she can.

her stats are out there due to implants and intense training, originally they were rather average. in-game she wears combat armor mk 2, but i see her having spruced it up like this. her main weapon is the ycs/186, the unique gauss rifle, but before that she used a modded plasma pistol. which she very much enjoyed the silly appearance of. because it was so small and with so much shit tacked on and she could just hold it in one hand like a mutated revolver like Hands up motherfucker bang bang bang lol. her melee weapon of choice is the machete gladius, but she's been training to be able to wield a thermic lance.

in my head the trajectory of her actions and the fate of the mojave that follows is different from what you can do with the game, because leigh could only go for The Secret Leftist Route Which Was Supposed To Be In The Game But We Were Robbed Of It.

boone was the first friend she made after leaving goodsprings and their relationship is particularly notable. they are Comrades, Siblings-In-Arms, Worsties (like besties but fucked up). theyve seen each other at their worst. they annoy each other on purpose. theyve had serious ideological clashes with each other and some ways in which boone perceives the world drive leigh absolutely nuts. they're ride or die for each other. theyre the kind of comfortable around each other where she'll be on the toilet and smoking a cig with the door open and talking to him, while he's naked sitting on the floor removing stitches from his leg. she's done surgery without anesthesia on him. he's projectile vomited blood on her from being poisoned by cazadores. she strongly encourages him to become a traitor to the ncr and to take part in the revolution and the formation of the new independent mojave alliance. somehow, it works on him in the end. shamefully they kinda like snuggling... boone bro come to bed man its nighty night man its beddy bye time.

shes in love with lily bowen. i havent decided yet whether she actually makes a move. but she thinks lily is sooooo dreamy. and shes right. if you dont think the enormous 203 year old blue mutant woman is dreamy thats your problem. outta her way

[junosmindpalace]

i find discourse around the rdr women so...fascinating and infuriating at the same time. because a lot of the time it doesn't seem like rdr fans want to apply the same level of complex analysis to the women like they do for the men, but when they do, it still doesnt seem all that well-intentioned or that it does right by their characters.

this is a very long analysis/spam/defense so be warned :,)

even though the majority of sadie's character revolves around the fact she not only lost her home and her husband and was thrust into a new life of crime, but was actively struggling with robberies BEFORE the events of the game, people instead choose to focus on whether or not she had feelings for arthur or whether he actions in the game were actually impactful. she helped saved abigail and john when no else would, she fought alongside the men against the army, she helped john set up a stable life, she helped rob the payroll train, helped ensure colm’s death, she fought alongside arthur TIME AGAIN and took over in a leadership role when half the gang was absent in the guarma chapter. to say that she did nothing more except “be badass” undermines all of these contributions to the story that she was either at the forefront of or helped bring to fruition.

in my opinion, abigail is the EASIEST character to defend out of any of the women, and yet somehow she receives the most backlash from dudebros. I lose ten braincells every time i have to read a theory post over whether or not she slept with other camp members besides john, whether or not she was a rat, and about how much shes a nag. the woman has not known a moment's rest in her entire life. by the age of eight she was working in a cathouse. she was a child prior to then scrapping whatever money she could earn at her young age in saloons and dive bars as a woman and child just to survive as a orphan. jack's birth was clearly not planned, and she has voiced multiple times her grievances at the circumstances of his upbringing. everything she does is for a better life for her son: a life she never had. her constant nagging to get john to man up and be a father is for her son's benefit, not her own. she even says so herself when she tells him that she doesn't mind if a relationship between them doesn't work out, but to at least try being there for jack. she can't work a job because she is a mother living a life of crime and danger; she can't afford to leave the camp and her son unsupervised. she still does her share around camp. why would anyone blame her for not wanting to return to a life that has made her miserable, especially now that she has a child who she wants to model a good life for? many people seem to somehow also forget that she herself was a child when she gave birth to jack; only 17-18. she is 22 in the game in a bad situation with the father of her child and financially. she is doing her best to raise her son when she is not fully equipped to do so. how can anyone even blame her for being skeptical of john when hes affectionate in the epilogue when for so long hes been distant? she does not even ask much of john--just to be there for him sometimes, and to live honestly. she is also incredibly kindhearted. comforting other women in the camp, offering a listening ear, taking care of john when hes injured. she puts in her share of effort when it comes to finding a job in the epilogue and maintaining beechers hope.

molly is a young woman who is presumably incredibly far from her home where her family is, and trying to navigate a way of life completely unfamiliar to her. her stuck up nature comes not only from the way she was raised, but also dutch's uplifting affection and presumed lovebombing in the early stages of their relationship. shes even been suggested to be somewhat sociable until dutch and her became somewhat of an official item, in which she grew somewhat of a bigger ego with a mentality that she was his right hand. she deeply depended on dutch for her stability in every way, and its evident in her eventual spiral. she hated being seen as weak and pitiful as somewhat of an outsider among outsiders. she seemed to be close to no one besides dutch, who repeatedly cut her off when she attempted to talk to him about her growing feelings of anxiety, paranoia and sadness. the loss of the one thing that had built her up, coupled with immense tragedy she just wasnt used to, and desperate for a semblance of respect and dignity that she had presumably been all too accustomed to, of course she was going to come off brash and confront dutch about his distant, high and mighty attitude. it's why by the end, she doesnt care if she is killed: there is nothing left for her. karen's comment about her pretending to rat them out for the sake of attention is also interesting in terms of their relationship and parallels, which i dont see ANYONE talk about.

karen very clearly struggles with...a lot. she has even said so herself when talking with molly. she struggles to accept help, evident in pieces of dialogue where she brushes off concerned gang members about her drinking (mary-beth, arthur, javier), and when she seems somewhat ashamed and embarrassed having to have been rescued by arthur in the valentine mission (SAYING EXPLICITLY "i dont much like being saved"). she struggles with believing people have good intentions/feelings toward her, illustrated in the way she's constantly rejecting sean, yet seemingly disappeared further down the bottle after his death, and her conversation with mary beth and tilly about the world having no equal and fair place for women. her negative experiences in the world as a woman could also influence her view of the world, perhaps being why she finds herself somewhat hostile toward feminist mindsets and why she, for a while, enjoyed the outlaw lifestyle: it was her little slice of freedom. her hatred for the rich can also be because she has experiences as a poor woman, perhaps some direct experiences in which rich people have negatively impacted her life. though molly and karen don't get along through most of the game, karen actually tries to step in and help her near the end, and its this action + defending her after her death that shows she was sympathetic toward her situation and on some level able to relate to it, both craving some kind of love beyond superficial things.

@/cryptidcr3ature said it very well in a post i reblogged recently: mary is essentially "her brother's keeper and her father's caretaker". she herself lives somewhere middle class with traditional notions of the time impacting her views on arthur's lifestyle and anything below those middle class standards being deemed as socially unacceptable (which is evident from the very first letter mary sends to arthur, in which she seems confused on what a polite term would be to refer to prostitutes, who were obviously thought very lowly of in the time). i also don't think its fair to criticise her condemnation of arthur's lifestyle when pretty much all audiences, contemporary and not, including members of the gang, acknowledge that it isnt anything pretty. killing is not fun. running from the law is not fun. mary was not only influenced by her father's views of arthur (a person that, despite being horrible, she still deeply loves), but looking after her own family, herself, and arthur's wellbeing when she ended their relationship + suggested they run away. she had given him an opportunity at compromise. perhaps the first time, scared and unfamiliar with his lifestyle, she had offered arthur an ultimatum: her or his outlaw life, but later was willing to also leave behind her brother and father, two figures that tie her down and make her life more miserable than need be despite loving them very much, in order to settle somewhere with arthur and start over. her asking for arthur's help comes from a place of desperation and excuse to allow herself some semblance of stability when she hadn't had it; at least not since her mother and husband passed. if arthur refuses to help her, she is incredibly understanding and sympathetic. she does not lash out. if arthur does help, she is immensely grateful, and even tries to bond with him despite their years apart.

this post isnt to excuse some of their more negative behaviours and aspects of their characters'-- but im saying that they deserve to be fairly treated and analyzed just like any of the rdr men. many of them are young. many of them have unique challenges as women. that isn’t to say the men have it easier, but their struggles and less prettier aspects of their characters are always met with more sympathy than the women. why do arthur and john get passes as reformed absent fathers and criminals? why does sean receive sympathy when karen rejects his pushy advances? why does hosea get a pass at being better than dutch when he still groomed younger members of the gang for a life of crime alongside dutch? why does dutch get a pass by having his downfall be justified by tough circumstances? lets just be fair

[ktchie]

'It's the hope that kills you'

Ted Lasso x Reader

Fluff and Angst

♡ other tags: attempt at humour/ no proof read we die like Rupert should've / possible part two

♡6.1k words

◇ In which Y/n wanted to confessed and Ted has a pastel pink apron.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

She consider herself as a tough independent woman who rather die and be beheaded than show any ounce of feelings or a hint of affection.

Her therapist said it's because she grew up in a household that doesn't show much emotion or any vulnerability. And they're right, she remember the time she saw her Dad shed a tear on the night of her high-school graduation, hiding behind his hands and cool dad stance before abruptly going to the bathroom and staying there for 40 minutes - he came back with red eyes and a terrible pun joke. As if nothing had happened.

So it is perfectly understandable that she grew up hating vulnerability, choosing to stay rigid and emotionless rather to have her whole soul on the palm of her hand. It doest help either that she's the eldest kid, the pillar of her siblings, the one who lays awake at night thinking any and every problems her parents throw at her way, worrying about it to the point her chest hurt and she has to learn to calm panic attack in such a young age.

So that being said, she never really had the full experience of romance or being in a relationship. She flirted with a few men on her lives and had fucked them plenty of times but she never really did the whole holding hands thing and all that cheesy stuff that people always whined about once the clock hits 10 and loneliness hits you like a freight train.

But meeting Ted, meeting Ted makes her want to dive head first on whatever corny things couples do in this day of age. Whether it be kissing on the rain or robbing a bank at 2pm in a Sunday afternoon.

She stared at him from across her, sitting so patiently like an overgrown child with a cup of steaming hot coffee.

"Something you need, Ted?" Her tone of voice held nothing but pure professionalism that made her quietly hissed.

Ted looked at her with his big brown eyes that makes her heart all googoo gaga, she sometimes wonder if Ted is secretly part of some hidden government group because she swore that puppy eyes could stop a international fued.

"Oh you know, just wanna visit ya'" he stated with a cheeryness only he can produced in the morning, all dimple and wide smiles. "'been awhile since I saw you, thought you're actually avoiding me but boss said that you're six feet under with all the work you got goin' on"

She chuckled at his words "Ted, I don't think there's anything in this world that could keep me away from you" she answered with a subtle smile, if she wanted him she would get him, whether it be by words or thousand of prayers.

Ted looked at her silently, wide eye and a blossoming blush on his cheeks. He looks ethereal underneath the early morning sun, a fallen single strand of hair dangling on his forehead that makes her hand itch with yearn to fix it.

"But I have been awfully neglectful to the rest of you, haven't I?" She decided to move on from her flirting (?), she doesnt want Ted to dropped dead on the floor from all the blood on his head. "I've been busy these past few weeks, but Will told me about the team plan get together on Sam's restaurant. I'll make sure to attend it, even shoulder the payment if we can get Sam to give us the bill"

Ted nodded his head, tounge tied for once, some part of her rejoiced while the other part, the one who always fear rejection and if she's being too much or too stupid, fear for whatever friendship they have (or had, if worse comes to worse)

"I-well" he cleared his throat, looking at her through his weirdly long eyelashes that always made her tear up in awe and envy.

"We can uh' y'know, we can split the bill, don't hav'ta shoulder it all by yourself"

"No its alright" she shook her head, she contemplate touching his arms, feel the soft fabric of his awfully comfy looking sweater and the skin underneath it but she decided not to, Ted might freak the fuck out and leave the room yelling 'HR! HR!' And have her fired and be shamed by the rest of the Richmond community for touching their beloved American wanker. "Consider it as my payment for forgetting to visit the locker room"

"Wasn't your fault, anyway" he shrugged before gesturing to the tower of folders and impending blueprints for the upcoming renovations and building upgrades. "I mean take a look at that, the great mt. Everest would cry if he saw this monstrosity. Even looking at it makes my stomach all funky" he shudder at its sight. "Do you even take a break? Jeez."

She sighed and leaned back on her office chair "from time to time, 15 minutes or 5. I like to finish my work early so.."

Ted frowned, he has one of those upset looks that makes her heart clenched and crack little by little until it exploded on her chest and she has to pretend she wasn't in pain so he could view her as a normal human being and not a lovesick teenager. "Ya should take a better care of yourself, you can't just go 'n on 'n on workin' till you drop dead" if it's possible, his doe eyes turned even more sadder. " its not good for you"

She bit her lip, her thighs moving up and down underneath her desk. She never liked it when he's anything but happy. "I can go take a rest when I go home and take a rest some more once I finish of all this work. its fine, don't worry too much about me"

"How can I not worry about you?" Ted leaned in, sad eyes and furrow brows. "Youre my-" he sighed before he shake his head "heck, If I had known you're over 'ere slowly killin' yourself i would have yank you from your desk till you're screamin' and cryin'"

Screaming and crying huh? Oh she can do that, alright.

"Ted.." she sighed, trying her hardest to ease the furrow on his brows "its fine, im fine. Don't worry about me too much. there's another game coming up, thats what you should be focusing on yeah?"

Ted sighed deeply, leaning back on the chair before nodding. A lock of hair fell down on his forehead, perfect it was, and y/n thought he never looked more beautiful then. She wonder if Ted kept his hair perfectly gel all the time or if he had ever let his guard down on the four walls he had been forcely call his home.

She would love to see him just him, just Ted, with his goofy smiles and bad puns and old reference from a bad film made years before.

She would love to love him, flaws and imperfections and bad days. She would paint him beautifully, perfect at every stroke of her brush and no smudge of mistakes and yet she knows she still wouldn't do him justice. Ted is just too perfect, too lovely, too godly to be even be depicted on a rough white canvas of this wretched world. Ted deserves to be painted in the walls of the church, or at every thread of the clouds, he was meant to be seen and to be watched and to be memorize until his kindness and his generosity and smile are engraved deep within everyone's heart. Y/n wanted to worship Ted with utmost devotion that her mouth would utter prayers like a second breath, until her two pressed hands bleed and flowers grow between her palm.

She watched him sat across her, his gaze darting everywhere on the carpet before a smile slowly broke on his lips, eyes suddenly lighting up and whole body perking up.

"Hey" he looked up to her, grin and joyful gaze "guess what I cooked last night" he had said giddily

"if you get it right I might just have to take a peek on that ridiculous sitcom you've always buggin' me to watch"

She scoffed, offended. "Modern family is not ridiculous, it's the best thing that ever happened to television-"

"Now hol' up. You're gettin' ahead of yourself now, sugar" she pretended the pet name didnt make her stomach flip and twist and did all kinds of wwe wrestling stunt. 

"I'll have you know that you're wrong, there are tons of- you know what, I ain't even gonna argue with you because we're both too tired for this and I'm too excited to tell you what I cooked last night, so just guess, come on"

She squinted her eyes before sighing as she started to think. "Well, last time we spoke you wouldn't shut up about barbecue and kebab and that one burger that sounds like it could kill you from one sniff"

"Triple cheese burger with bacon crisp, 3 sunny side eggs and curly fries dipped in ranch and garlic sauce with side on-"

"Sounds awful. Americans and their ridiculous food, seriously how are you not dead yet?"

Ted had shrugged with a sickeningly sweet smile "have no idea, but its good 'n ya know what they say 'enjoy life while it lasted'"

"Curse that qoute for manipulating you, let's just pray you wouldn't drop dead in the middle of the court because we can't handle your decaying body and another lose at the same time"

"You betcha! Now guess what I cooked!" Ted was almost jumping from his seat, propping his head on his palm as he stared at her.

"Come on, now"

"Curry"

"No"

"Friend chicken?"

"Nope, but boy I would love to have that right now"

"Salad?"

"Heck no! You kiddin' me?"

"Uhhh, curry?"

"You already said that!" Ted pouted lightly and she almost reach out to trace the bottom of his lips and mumbled how sweet he look right now but thankfully she stopped herself.

"Allright I give up" she threw her hand up and sigh "anything you cooked is fantastic anyway, doesn't matter what it is"

"Oh, arent you a sweetheart" he smiled at her so adorably it made her tooth ache. "I'm glad you think so because I just cooked f/f!" Ted yelled so excitedly, arms spread wide and eyes bright.

She looked at him with agape mouth

"F/f? Are you serious?" She grinned so widely, it has been awhile since she tasted it, mainly because the only f/f she had ever ate is the one her mother cooks.

"Course! I wouldn't lie to ya!" Ted had stated "I couldn't get some shut eyes last night so I decided to make it, better to do something than nothin' at all am I right?"

She's still looking at him, as if in trance. "Wow Ted..I mean im pretty fucking pump but-well, why did you make it? You could have baked, you usually bake when you have nothing to do"

Ted looked away from her, cheeks suddenly getting warm and pink under the sunlight. "Oh you know..just miss ya' I guess"

Her heart crumbled and melted inside of her chest, she could feel its warmth drip from every nerve she has and settle deep within her guts and lay there until she has to curl her toes in a pathethic attempt to calm herself down.

He took a peek at her under his lashes. "I was so used seeing you every darn morning 'ere so it makes me all sad and upset when I don't. Even coach beard had to knock some sense in to me, told me to keep my marbles together or else he'll hide my barbecue sauce" he lightly chuckled "pretty heavy threat, if you ask me"

"I didnt know you miss me so much"

"Are you kiddin' me? I miss ya a hell'ava lot more than 'much'" Ted had almost yelled "i miss ya more than Roy misses running! And thats alot"

She laugh quietly, both in amusement and the tickling feeling deep on her stomach that normal people (with normal amount of love on their heart) would refer as butterflies, but for her, for someone who love too deep and too vast and too much and for a girl like her that grew up reading stories and fairy tales and movies characters with soft confession under bright stars and harsh rains, she could refer the feeling on her stomach as a clawing beast, a magnificent one born on legends and shaky words of the fear locals, with a ferocious growl and wild eyes and fangs as big as a tallest house.

In short, everytime Ted does something so adorably lovely on her eyes she could feel the entire animals on her stomach.

She looked at him with a gentle smile, eyes bright and so so soft - looking at him a like proper lover would. "I miss you too, Ted" she had said almost like a whisper, like a sin. "More than you could ever know"

The statement sounded too intimate, the tone too romantic to be said between casual friends and even the silence after it could be written in a pages of old romance stories - describe it like moment after the music, where the two of them stares at one another with that yearning look that makes all the reader sick to their stomach.

Her words sounds like a confession, one that is so gentle even the gods up above would melt where they stood. She didn't utter the proper words of 'i love you' and didn't open her palm where her bleeding heart lay and offer it to him with a desperation - but the way she said her words, the way every letter soud so much like a sudden whisper in a night of passion and sudden realization of devotion and adoration makes her statement more than a confession - as if it was an oath, a promise set on stone. Like a knights word as he kneeled on his king and offered the edge of his swords, bare against the world, bright steel and fierce glare as his lips mouth his promise, the words he would live and die on, where war would start and where it would end - be it by his blood or his foes. And similar to that y/n is ready to be let down on where she sat, to spill her heart like a leaking wound and let it stains them both, let him know how she feels, how serious, how much time she had spent pinning after him, yearning, adoring him so silently like a lovesick suitor from afar.

Ted grinned at her, dimple deep on his cheeks and that damn fallen hair on his forehead that makes him so so lovely. He opened his mouth and y/n waited with bathed breath and wonder what words would come out but before he could even roll his tounge the door of her office opened with a harsh loud push.

"Y/n we have to- oh. oh Ted! Good morning!" Higgings strolled in clumsily and no matter how much she love the little dork she kinda want to crush his glasses on her palm and send him home.

"Higgins! Nice to see ya today, buddy" Ted stood up to greet him and to give him a pleasant hug and if the coach is annoyed at anyway, he didn't show it. God he's so kind its annoying..

"You too, Ted. You too" Higgins replied with a smile that reserved only for Ted, filled with gratitude and adoration before he turned to her and she watch, with great amusement and a little irritation, when that smile fell down on his lips. "And uh, we need to talk"

She sighed mournfully, waving a goodbye to the wonderful conversation she was having with her love and to the words he would say earlier. She gestured Higgings to sit across her before she met Ted's eyes.

"Im afraid we'll have to cut our cheesy conversation here, Ted. Duty calls and if you want someone to blame, blame Higgings" she pointed at the man with a teasing smirk that had Higgins poor heart rapidly beating with nervousness.

"What? But I'm merely doing my job-"

"Im fucking with you" she patted his shoulder with a light laugh before glancing at Ted, who still remained at her office with a smile.

"I'll gave you a call later" Ted had said "let's have a dinner, ill cook for ya'"

She bit her lip to keep the ridiculous love sick smile threatening to rip her mouth apart and nodded "ill look forward to it, have a good day"

"You too, sugar"

And he was gone and if Higgins wasn't infront of her, staring at her with that bewildered look only spooked squirrel could do she would have stood up and do a cartwheel on her carpeted floor because holy fucking shit Ted is going to cook for her, just for her, not like those times where they eat together on the locker room and she has to sneakily steal his lunch - tho she knows Ted wouldn't mind Beard is another problem, she still thinks Beard has a few dead bodies on his back, the man has a stare of a despondent convicted murderer inside a prison cell. Its crazy.

"Oh." Higgings blink rapidly, his mouth subtly and slowly forming a smile. "You and Ted?"

She squinted her eyes "We're friends"

"Not with that look in your eyes, no"

"What did you eat today to have you acting this cheeky, my dear Higgins?" She looked at him up and down with a scowl.

The man let out a grin

"I should be the one asking that" he then leaned in "or should it be 'who did you meet today that have you acting this lovesick, my dear y/n?"

She flush red "You're fired"

"That'd be the 205 times you've fire me and I will continue to ignore it as long as I live"

"The first time i did that you sobbed on my shoulder"

"Well its.." he looked away "it was a different time"

"Sure it was"

____________________________________

"Look what we have 'ere-"

"JESUS, ROY!" She had jumped 2 feet from where she stood, clutching her heart and her car keys.

"What the hell man!"

"What? You got yourself an American man and suddenly you're weak of heart?"

"That doesn't even make any sense.." she mumbled with a disturbed look as she stared at him. "What are you even doing here? and I dont have an American man, get your head straight"

"Its a fucking parking lot, im allowed to be here" He commented with a glared as he not so softly leaned on her car.

She sighed through her nose, annoyed. "What i meant was, why the fuck are you even standing about in here and suddenly appearing from the darkness like a...hairy angry batman"

"Im not fucking hairy!"

"you shed like a golden retriever, you're not fooling anybody!"

Roy, the dog, growled in annoyance before he blocked her way to the driver seat.

"Please move or ill yell bloody murder" she stated suddenly so so exhausted.

"Why actin' so rush? Got somewhere to be?" She squinted his eyes at him, suspicious and contemplating why is he being such a dick.

"Why are you talking to me like you're about to take my lunch money?"

Roy, with the little patience he has, growled once again before he shook his head, as if he was the one getting annoyed and tired on the conversation. Then he stared at her, right on the eye, as if wanting to burn her soul and cook her alive.

"Youre really not going to tell me?" He had asked, hands on his hips.

"Is that how it is?"

"What?" She ask, confused.

"You and Ted" Her eyes widen, what is he on about?

"Me and Ted? What about us?"

"Higgin-" he cleared his throat "I mean, someone told me you and the little prick was getting all chummy in your office. Even got yourself a fucking date, how lovely"

She sighed "there wasn't a date Roy, Ted and I are friends. And we aren't getting 'chummy' or whatever kind of meaning that word has in your vocabulary and tell Higgins-"

"It wasn't higgings"

"-tell him to keep his damn nose out of my business or ill key his car"

Roy stared at her for a long second before he clenched his jaw and mumbled a 'fuckkkkk'

"We're-" he swallowed before he looked upwards to the sky, as if begging the gods above to give him more strength. "We're-..f-friends, arent we?" Her eyes soften in both adoration and amusement as he grimaced with every letter he spoke.

She chuckled "we are, no matter how much you disdain that word"

"Then," Roy had sighed "believe me when I say that that cowboy Mr. Rogers is fucking inlove with you"

Suddenly the air felt too thick and her clothes felt too hot. "Roy, i think you're wrong. Ted wanst-"

"Don't you fucking dare tell me he wasn't because a blind bloke could see it in a mile away, he wouldn't fucking shut up about you. fuck sake, He even draws you!" He yelled dramatically, hands shooting in a air in a form of exaggerated irritation that only Roy Kent could do. "Those past few days where you lock yourself up in your bloody office has been the worst days of my entire life, Ted looks constipated half of the fucking time and all he does is broods and broods and fucking complains about you. He's insufferable! Beard has to talk to him in the bathroom to get him straight!" He massage his temple before sighing and looking at her so gently then, so softly, like a brother would, like a friend would do, like someone you can hold onto when life gets though and days gets bad.

"Believe me, he's inlove with you.." he softly said like a whisper.

"In every possible way a human could love, he's inlove with you"

Her breath hitched from her throat, tounge heavy on her mouth and her heart beat could be hear from miles away. The beast inside of her guts fell silent, almost asleep, like his words strike straight to his heart and send him down on the ground, wounded and shaken and could never get back up.

"I came here to.." Roy cut short, finding the proper words. "To tell you how happy I am that he finally work the balls to ask you out, but turns out he's still a fuckin' pussy and a mess of a man"

She chuckled and shook her head.

"Ted is.." She lick her lips and leaned on her car, Roy beside her and shoulder apart.

"I don't think Ted would do the first move, he's..afraid, I think. All his life Michelle was the only woman he knew, only woman he loved and if what you're saying is not true, then she's the only woman he would forever love" she said almost mournfully. "Divorced is hard, specially for someone like Ted who loves too much and give too much, maybe that's the reason why I'm hopeless inlove with him to the point of humiliation but who fucking  cares, right?" She shrugged.

She then swallowed before sighing a shaky breath. "I'll uh, ill confessed tonight. While we eat dinner, ill..ill try, and if- y'know, he doesnt like it then I'll back off" she bit her lip as her gaze burn holes to the pavement.

"I'll love him from afar, cheer for him from the stands and sob on my office if I saw him and sassy together again"

Roy chuckled "i remembered that one" reminiscing her worst times of sobbing half dead on her office table mumbling how cruel it is to love Ted and asking what Sassy has that she does not.

"Maybe ill hire a hit man too, have them kill you so you could forget about it" she bumped his shoulder with her own and lightly laugh when Roy grunts.

"I'll write it with my fucking blood, believe that"

"Write it with your chest hair and ill believe it"

"You fucking cunt-"

____________________________________

"Sorry 'bout the mess.." Ted gestured to the perfectly clean living room with a sheepish look. "didn't have time to clean up. I'm just too excited to cook for ya I forgot about everything else"

"That so? Well I'm excited to taste it, I'm sure it'll be wonderful" she smiled at him as she put the bottle of wine down on the marble kitchen bar.

"Oh it'll blow your socks off, its nothin' like the food at Sam's restaurant but its darn good if I say so myself" She watched silently as Ted, adorable adorable Ted, wore his pastel pink apron, tied it around his waist and fluff it with a lovely smile that almost had her clutching her precious weak heart.

"Im sure it'll be delicious" she say, referring more to the cook rather than food. "I like anything you do anyway, so"

Ted glance at her and smile, all dimple and bright eyes. It made her smile too, softly, subtly, like one of those yearning smile that hides thousands of words and promises and hopes and desperation.

Ted went back to his cooking, whistling a tune she swore she heard before. He was telling a story, one about a fish and a basketball and a prom that gone wrong but for the life of her she could not listen.

She thought about her conversation with Roy, the words he had utter that made her want to pour her heart out and confessed to her love. She dont want to be hopeful, being hopeful is nothing but a wish on the wind in this place. It is the poison that rots your mind, that decays the flower and the trees and the grass, break the ground you stood up upon - watch it crumble and crumble until your legs become weak and your bones break from your flesh and you fell ill and sick and cough blood until you die and wish that you should have done better, that you should have stayed quiet and at peace and settle from staring from afar instead of watching your own skin slowly peel away as you continue to hope and hope and hope and watch as the filthy earth swallow you whole and- Jesus christ she should really stop reading those sad terrifying books Nate had been recommending her alot, its ruining her head in the worst ways.

"Ya feel alright?" Ted's voice woke her from her thoughts.

She looked at him furrowed brows and concerned eyes. "Im good, it's nothing"

"We could just watch a movie, you know? Order some good ol' pizza and have a laugh on some bad movies and oh! You know what? we could just watch your favourite-"

"I rather just taste your food, Ted. If you don't mind"

"But you look tired" and there it is again, the puppy look, the vain of her existence. God he's so terrible she kinda want to kiss his face and pinch his cheeks.

She chuckled "arent you sweet"

"Oh gosh! I didnt- darn, I didnt mean it that way, sugar!" He was panicking, going all over the kitchen with his cute apron on and little sauce smudge on his cheeks.

"You l-look tired but y'know still pretty, and cute and-and you know? Please darlin' I didnt mean to offend you i just want to-"

"Hey, hey, hey.." she called out to him with a barely contained humour smile "I get it, I was fucking with you. I'm just joking, calm down"

He slumped dramatically on the counter with a sigh "oh goodness, you had me there. Thought I was gonna loose ya'"

They had talked a little bit, or maybe too much, she couldn't exactly remember how long it was or what it was about but she had know they had laugh and jest and share a few stories of their childhood and back when they're still a foolish teenager who didn't know what they want and where they belong - she  still don't know now if she was being honest, she wasn't really the kind of person that plans ahead of time, or give a genuine thought on what she wanted to do in the future and how she will get there but Ted is, Ted knows, Ted understand what he wants and how he will get there and what he see himself on the future and in which place and who he was with, it made her fall a little more inlove with him.

"How was it?" He had asked as he leaned in, nervous and fidgeting.

"Oh gosh please say somethin' I'm about to blow a nerve over 'ere"

She laugh "it was good!" And it is, the best curry she probably had.

"Its perfect, Ted. Even the spiciness is perfect"

He blew out an air "oh thank god, I was so worried ya wouldn't like it! And to be completely honest with ya' I thought I switched up the salt and sugar halfway"

She laugh again, it wasn't even funny, she's just inlove and a complete fool.

Ted started to talk about his day, down to what he had ate for breakfast and how terrible his coffee was 'it tasted like cow piss' his words. He then talked about his theory that Nate is secretly a goverment spy forced to work with him for a very dangerous top secret world breaking undercover mission - when she asked why he think that - 'because nate is a genius and there ain't no way he was a water boy before I came here and coach beard told me he saw nate yesterday slap a fly in a speed of light and didn't even flinch'

It was ridiculous theory but she then remember the amount of gory psychological thriller books Nate has been recommending her for the past few days and a good amount of them involves a spy or two. She wasn't convinced but she'll keep an eye out just incase.

"-it wasn't that much of a big deal"

"You set your school on fire!" Ted had exclaimed rather dramatically, on her opinion, as she told him her high-school tales.

"Thats like- Thats arson!"

"Its not arson if they don't know someone set it on fire" she tap her forehead lightly as if gesturing Ted to see how smart she is. And Ted, bless his heart, actually nodded.

"Youre right, thats smart. Look at ya' getting away with crimes in such a young age!" He grins so beautiful she was actually proud of what her foolish younger self did back then.

"You sounds awfully proud of me bring a criminal"

"Well its kinda awesome and speaking of awesome!--" his eyes was bright and there's a little smudge of sauce near his lips, he looks adorable and loveable and she just suddenly want to kiss him stupid and tell him how much she loves him-

"--Sassy and I are going on date this weekend!"

A glass shattered on the background.

She wasn't adventurous or a sucker for pain and near death experince but if someone had ask her what it would feel like when an arm go through her chest and crush her heart in one fist, she would describe what she's feeling right now in exact gruesome detail that even Nate would vomit on the corner.

She couldn't stop her smile for falling from her lips or the soft disbelief of 'oh' that escape from her tounge, its amazing how a simple two letter words sounded so broken out of the millions she had uttered before.

"Thats great, Ted" she thank every God there is that her voice didn't came out robotic "im happy, you deserve someone who can take care of you"

Ted nodded his head with a grin that is far too wide for his cheeks and then he stared talking, he was saying something but she couldn't hear it, didn't bothered to hear it, she was too busy wondering if the feeling of absence on her chest had been there long before or had just recently appeared now.

"-aint it funny?"

"Yeah" was her response even if she didn't hear any word of it, she avoid his gaze as she wiped her mouth with a tissue and cleared her throat - there's a vile stuck on it that she couldn't seems to swallow.

"Ted, I-uh, I think I'm gonna go home. I'm not feeling very well" she was a liar and a coward but she rather die than cry infront of him -  and suddenly she was young again, alone in her room, toes cold from the floor board and clenching her hands into a tight fist and wondering what is it about her that is unlovable.

"Oh, uh, okay" Ted stood up from the table "are you feelin' dizzy? Does your tummy feels funny? Do you wan-"

"I don't" she said firmly, she was upset, mad, not to him but to herself, for even hoping that she could have this. "I don't need anything, thank you" she lied and swallowed the humiliation of even wanting to say everything she wanted to say to him. All those words she wanted to confessed makes her sick to her stomach because how fucking dare she believe she even has a chance? How foolish to even assume she could have Ted?

"Nothing like a good rest would fix" she had stated, hoping to ease his mind but her chuckle came out weak and sad.

"Okay uh, ill walk you to your apartment - I mean, flat, christ-"

"Its okay" she grab her bag "I can walk by myself"

"I don't think its safe-"

"I can handle myself"

"Still, you look a little pale and I can't have a gal like yo-"

"Fucking hell Ted!" She had yelled and the guilt settled on her stomach as soon as she did so.

Ted look at her like she wasn't her, like another person came on his flat with a face of a friend he adores and she wanted to laugh because how could she want to love him and care for him when she could barely be half of a kind person that he was?

"Just- fuck, I got it. I can handle myself just dont-" she sighed through her nose and looked down, she could feel the tears on her eyes and but none of them fell down.

"Just let me be, yeah? I'm not a fucking toddler you need to be coddle all the time"

There's a pause before Ted nods "Okay" his eyes were sad, sadder than anything she had ever saw and it would've break her heart if it weren't shattered before.

She looked at him silently, a second. She almost wanted to say it, say the words, just lay it all on the table and let Ted feast on the remnants of her broken heart and whatever is left. He'll take good care of it, she knows. That's a kind of man he is. Maybe even fix it together with some melted gold.

"Im sorry" Ted was the one who apologized even if she should be the first, it made her guts coil. "I didnt mean to upset you, I was just-just worried. I'm sorry"

She looked down and clenched her fist, dig her nails on her palm.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, I was being a dick and I have no excuse-"

"Youre tired and you're not feeling well, 's okay"

"Its not, Ted" she shook her head "I shouldn't have talk to you like that, you're my-" she swallowed "youre my friend, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry"

Ted smile, sad and worried all at once. "Its okay, I forgive ya'"

He shouldn't be, atleast not this easily.

"Okay" she nod her head once before she turn to the door with trembling hands.

Ted appeared next to her and held the door open for her. "Be safe, sweetheart"

'Don't' she wanted to whisper but felt too tired to do so.

"Call me when you get home"

"Will do"

The ground was wet as she walked and the road felt much sadder than before, the cold night air beg her for warmth and instead of the heat of her flat her mind travel to the warmth of his hands, of his touch. Y/n briefly wonder how she came to be like this, how she love so fiercely like a beaten dog and dig claw marks on everything she ever love just to watch it be yank away from her as easily as her tears could fall.

[romsabombs]

malevolent part 46 the unclean live listen notes

SPOILERS BELOW

faroe jumpscare

is she haunting him lol

i cant believe he slept

"its probably an animal" u guys keep forgetting what podcast you're in

"you were sleeping?" "NO👹" defensive for no reason

stop hiding things from eachother challenge impossible

"it was just Things" 😐

what is blud yapping about😭🙏

LILY MENTIONED‼️

yeah yeah we know john we were all there🙄

cheesy ass episode where are the horrors

TRAIN STORY CALLBACK :33333

u dont have to remind me this story is bouncing around in my brain at all times

ooohh okayyyy music

arthur is not registering any of this let the man sleep💀

john praising lily for just doing her job is so funny to me

omgg :3 faroe is hanging out

no its not malam his ass doesnt sound like that

is he not even considering that it could be faroe usually he jumps at any chance to mention her

its disney pixar movie brave

shes guiding him?? showing him the way??

do u think they're fae

oh hes being compelled

"we shouldnt just sit here" ya thatd be a boring episode

hes fighting it

they're fae i faer

maybe just go the opposite direction

"what We're seeing" ok arthur

oh ermm😕😕

ANOTHER CULT??? COME ON😐😐

omg crying obsidian literally minecraft

oh dear a child. oh nvm He

its that dead child in the river isnt it

HAHA HE ROBBED THEM

arthur what happened to your decluttering mindset

HAHA YORRICK💀💀💀 they kidnapped his ass

oh his ass gonna is snitch on us

👹fuck mother darkness👹

"as unfortunate as that is" 💀

what makes u think he didnt lie to you about being the last of his kind

"we wouldn't be walking into a trap BLINDLY" "we'd be walking in with MY EYES wide open"

yorrick if you dont rat us out we'll buy you a lego set😇😇 or a chew toy

bro just dont follow him hes obviously just using the bag to bait you

ok dont get the bag guys r u dumb

STUPID!! DONT!!!! ☠️😠 guys i cant keep defending you

they will not ignore the lights bruh🙏

god we're only 19 minutes in

they're gonna die from this bruh

goddamn it john😭

oh no💀💀💀 man come on

they're cooked🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

wait is it actually okay i cant tell anymore

oh😕😕😕 BLERGH☹️☹️

naur the hunt got to him🙏

idk wtf is going on anymore bruh

okay ya its still a trap

dont drink that fucking water bruh i bet his corpse was in there

ofcourse it looks inviting bruh💀💀

they're what

💀💀 HAHA HE LEFT dumbasses

funny as hell now what

DONT DRINK IT HAHA ARE U CRAZY

it looks inviting again huh😐😐

NOOOOO💀💀 jarthur needs a babysitter bruh

"it leads men astray" only men huh😐 god forbid women have hobbies

HEART OF THE FOREST MENTIONED‼️‼️‼️‼️

they're trying so hard to be otgw

IN THE DREAMLANDS?

YEAHHHHH

omg i knew it'd come back

no guys maybe it's the same forest remember when u gave it your finger n u actually didnt need to and u said Lets hope they'll pay us back

FAE FAE FAE THEYRE FAE💥💥

mushroom smell is a core memory for him💀💀

HAHA WTF sillyness

william mentioned

what is his ass yapping about 😭

is this still a trap wtf r these mushrooms doing to him💀

hes dancing???? naur what the hell

hes cooked the fae got to him💀🙏

music is distorting ermmm😕

blud snorted too many mushrooms

WHAT?????? not the traumadumping

madness madness madness

man what the hell

☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

man i thought he had a relatively good relationship with his dad😕

YOU DID WHAT😨😨

WHAAAT WHAT THE FUCK MAN

did the dancing exhaust him

😕 man what the hell was that

what the hell wait what now

its the king isn't it

this eppy is crazy man ill kms

the fae got to him‼️🗣️🗣️

EVERYONE SPEAKS IN YOUR VOICE BRUH THERE IS ONE VOICE

what is going on bru

WHO?? 🗣️ horick???

was the shrine for him then

bro is bargaining💀

wuh oh😕

WHAT😨😨😨

YOUNGER????? not again arthur💀

once a child murderer always a child murderer

is arthur pulling this guy's chain bru

nah he was definitely lying right😕

fym "what are you doing" what are YOU doing

he what. he slept?? i think arthur was just pulled away from him so he was like. unconscious?? maybe

they just keep making secret deals with evil gods🙄

oh man hes so ashamed

john trying to have a moment with him and getting shot down again

so whats the plan here are you just gonna go back to killing children

"us" hmmmmmm

hes definitely not gonna tell john abt the deal

oh he did. but not about the child part

YEA THE CORPSES RIGHT

yess i was right💥💥💥💥

yeesh😕

i like how in audio dramas the throwing up sound is always just some tin foil getting squeezed

what an episode. i have to pee so bad

MMMM REALLY not liking the theme im seeing in this season (children)

[gothushi]

zoo dates with rob!!!!

>-< …… yes pls

• packs lunch for u both wants 2 make it extra special and make sure u do zero work. he’ll make sure theres enough water/juice in the cooler and ice and fresh fruit and make ur favorite sandwiches. packs ur favorite candy too. will have some snacks like pretzels, cheese cubes, some chips, packs electrolyte mixes. self indulgent but also puts some washcloths in the cooler to lay on ur neck when u get too hot

• puts sunscreen on for u. he doesn’t want ur little nose to burn :( rubs it into ur skin and gently onto ur face even if u whine abt it and he makes u wear a hat.

• u insisted on wearing cute shoes instead of ur tennis shoes so … he stops about an hour in and buys u a pair of slippers from one of the gift shops. they’re big n look like tigers. (they get a little roughed up from walking so he buys another pair right b4 leaving)

• also buys u whatever plushies u eye in the gift shops. u end up leaving with a tiger one, a giraffe one, a penguin, and a zebra

• he packed food but they have suuuuch yummy lookin treats tht u beg for some … he warns u that u might upset ur tummy eating so much but buys some stuff anyway …. (ur tummy hurts not long after) (he sits on a bench with u and scolds slightly till u almost cry) (then he rubs ur tummy)

• has a hard cooler on wheels which he pulls, and when ur lookin at animals he makes u sit to rest ur feet and so he can lightly rub on ur shoulders and tell u all about the animals

• info dumps abt them. gives u facts or explains their behavior to u while u just swoon a little and almost forget to even pay attention to the animals. he knows a lot abt all of them but when it comes to the big kitties he knows a lot more

• the zoo has a little train ride to go past larger cats and whatnot in the much bigger enclosures.. sits right beside u and watches as u take pictures on ur phone. big cats r his favorite but he finds himself smiling at u the entire time instead

• the zoo also has a carousel but its diff wild animals .. u beg beg beg him to go on it with u but he doesnt first bc he wants to take pictures everytime u come around. he looks like a proud dad w his cargo shorts n hat n his phone up. then he goes on it with u and sits together in one of the seated spots instead of on the animals, takes some selfies upon ur request

• takes u to the little petting zoo area where theres more tame animals. they got goats n alpacas u can feed and he just thinks its so cute how u get rly attached to one of the little goats and u almost tear up when he says its time to leave. he gets u a donut so u dont cry (he’s mentally tallying how many times uve almost cried so far… crybaby)

• speaking of feeding they have giraffe feeding and he has to stick right beside u w a hand on ur back bc ur nervous. yeah theres a fence but the giraffes are suuuper big n their heads the size of ur torso … kinda scary … but he encourages u to get closer and says he’ll protect u. coos all happy when u feed the waiting giraffe

• u only last abt four hrs b4 u have to tap out. he can see ur all droopy eyed and heavy limbed, so he gets u back to the car and all buckled in to go home

• helps u place all ur new plushies in their respective spots (all he does is hand them to u) (u have a recliner in ur bedroom thr nvr gets sat on bc it just houses all ur plushies) (except for bear who stays in bed at all times)

• snuggles in bed w u and while ur fast asleep he looks through all the pictures he took on his phone. has some of u by the main entrance, some from the aquarium, by the goats, got some videos of u on the carousel and on the train ride .. he browses for a good hr b4 making that rare post on his instagram (tht u made him make jus so u cld send him stuff ..) captions it ‘zoo day w/ the cub🐯’

;(((( rob …..

[coeuranxieux]

Actually more ideas for Train Man au

- Emil isn't as drugged up as normal timeline, instead escaping the asylum rightttt before they got their claws in him too tight for him to resist. He has no plan or anything but he clearly needed help so Andrew lets him on the train. It's mostly empty anyway.

- A similar thing happens with Victor, though he's running from the mob and has more planning than Emil. (Though the planning doesn't come down to much more than "grab my shit and jump on the first train that leaves for multiple days so I can get as far as possible".)

- Luca had barely gotten out of prison and wanted to go somewhere he wouldn't be obviously recognised, Orpheus was there for writing experience because those train vibes are brilliant, and Frederick got on this one because he actively refuses to go to France since he doesn't speak French and knows it'd go horribly. These three are also the only ones who actually PAY for the train.

- Norton attempted to pay for the train but clearly had almost EXACTLY the amount of savings for it in his pocket (down to pennies) and Andrew decided that if they could make the journey to wherever he was going easier, they would.

- Victor's mouth is/was literally stitched up, but after the first night he pulls the stitches out in an act of defiance because he knows he's free. Before he did that he wore a face mask to not arouse suspicion. (The bloody holes on his face don't do much to alleviate that suspicion but at least he has an excuse to bandage his mouth up so he can't talk)

- Frederick still carries around his tuning fork, but it's used more for getting people's attention.

- the employees were pretty mean to and gossipy about Andrew at first, and Frederick is intrigued as to why because he's been nothing but gentle and kind

kicking my feet and giggling rn oh my god!!

i can SO imagine andrew going to collect payment actually and norton kind of just. starts stacking coins and at some point andrew is like "no its ok actually" because. he feels bad and doesnt want to rob this guy 💔

i also think andrew and frederick would get alomg sooner in this since like, andrew is more approachable (in a sense) and the weird meam gossip about him circulating kind of reminds frederick of himself inside his family and didjfjfj

also the whole victor situation. fuck fnfjnsn i think since he's straight from the mafia in this he's also more on edge and stuff?? also he kinda just left. surely they weren't happy about that hhhh

[majorasnightmare]

also i never post about it but dirges career path post epilogue utterly delights me. his warlock pact is specifically to find or produce novel information to be witnessed through his eye for his patron, so in return for providing the magic fuel source and after fully deciphering the necromancy of thay, dirge just skips the skeleton and zombies bit of necromancy and gets to the "blurring the veil between life and death" part, and sets about transmuting dead flesh into chimerical abominations animated by necromantic ritual and powered by eldritch strength from beyond the stars. theyre technically soulless, with primitive notochords instead of complex brains, and theyre linked to his will via blood bond, so the risk of having a creation go beserk and kill him is relatively low, and theyre all technically aberrations rather than undead, but despite skirting most moral concerns he can think of (NOT grave robbing OR killing people in baldurs gate! its imported! its not the enslavement of the dead because he doesnt even summon and bind a deceased spirit! theyre not undead theyre abberrations!), the end result is still that most everyone is made profoundly uncomfortable especially because dirge models several features after human anatomy for no real reason other than he likes the look.

but most importantly it means that dirge is TECHNICALLY a healer now, after an entire campaign of being a killing machine, and thats so fucking funny to me because the dark urge healer lines are SO funny. he uses the default durge voice too so they come out really menacing, and hes just out here healing people marcille dungeonmeshi style. dirge holding onto gales severed arm looming closer while gale tries to squirm away to get shadowheart and dirge is just drenched in gore happy to help a friend and gale is praying to every god he can think of because this is legitamate nightmare fuel before dirge is just like "dont worry, ill kiss it better" and forcibly revitalizes and melts the limb back onto gales shoulder, no anaesthesia no painkillers just rawdoggin this shit, reattaching nerves and muscle tendons right there on the street, and gales scream hitting a pitch only perceivable to specific breeds of songbird

worlds worst doctor. youll fully recover but at what fucking cost. walk away with your surgery costs 0 but your therapy bill skyrocketing. dude who got his anatomy training vivisecting kidnapping victims and his medicine proficiency through torture and graverobbing. the only time in his life hes scary on accident rather than on purpose

it goes without saying that minthara takes it like a champ and also thinks his horrible homemade blights upon gods creation is the coolest shit and people should just stop being moralizing losers about it. its also unironically fantastic for his mental health like the fleshwarped blasphemous nightmare creatures are really tangibly improving the state of things for him

[mestos]

kir appreciation post (m26 edition)

let the movie marinate in my head for a night and i still cant stop thinking about how from start to finish kir comes back to the franchise and absolutely one ups every other noc character for me

from the very beginning they introduce her character and bring in her values as a person: for an audience who doesnt remember who she is especially its very refreshing because right from the bat you know three things:

theres an obvious chase scene going on, but she's unwilling to catch the prey, meaning her allegiances lie elsewhere

her heart is in helping people, and risks her own cover AND life in the process

and that she's not above feeling fear about how close she was to screwing everything she's worked up for up until that moment.

the cold open shows us three things immediately about kir that sets the scene for her role in the movie, way better than how she's essentially been forgotten by our floating timeline canon. now you can argue these traits are absolutely present across our current babygirls bourbon (furuya) and former member rye (akai), but with kir (hidemi hondou) the way she actively faces consequences for her defiance (getting shot multiple times, both in movie 20 and movie 26) sets her from a different bar from those two

her next scene is when she's tying up the kidnapped haibara

which is a great scene overall because it furthers her position as a woman of heart and someone who stands away from the org, but also because it is an extremely subtle nod that makes use of her high perceptiveness that was present all the way from her introduction arc BACK IN EPISODE 425

where she sees immediately through conan's cheap ass lie but makes no effort to bring light to it. in fact, that whole case, you can straight up argue she KNEW she was being wire tapped the whole time. its nice that it made a comeback 18 years later

BACK TO THE MOVIE, THOUGH, biggest fave is that in her next scene, we get to see her display the difficulty of being part of an organization that actively goes against her core principles as a person AND brings back traumatic memories for her

as naomi is being psychologically tortured by being forced to watch her dad be assassinated, kir finds this extremely hard to watch. you are then shown the flashback of what made her into a CIA agent today which you know IS KINDA FUCKED UP

like imagine your dad killed himself in front of you. shes shaking with rage but also the core memory of having her beloved father ripped from her hands in pursuit of this seemingly endless goose chase that she's already too deep in to let go

and as naomi is distraught over the death of her father she is reminded of her own position; memories, the harrowing experience of loss and how she is part of the organization that robs lives away from families.

but even after all that it strengthens her resolve to do the right thing.

GIN THIS ENTIRE MOVIE (and arguably the whole franchise) is built up to be the most terrifying enemy for all the parties involved. haibara is traumatized from her experiences with him. conan is actively uneasy at the idea of him being anywhere close. his own damn coworkers still walk on eggshells around him. YET, kir — who had already been fucking shot by gin in the very beginning already — goes toe to toe with gin and challenges him.

THIS GIRL TAKES IT LIKE NO ONE ELSE IN THIS DAMN FRANCHISE

she shows

a) manipulative skill directly. playing on words, feeding on doubt. psychological tactics that she had been trained by the CIA for (a claim they had made 18 years ago but never bothered to show until now)

b) that she's dauntless. she pressed herself against that gun and walked that edge knowing full well she could die should gin feel like it, but also with the confidence that she can and WILL weasel herself out of this situation

AND AT THE END OF THE MOVIE SHE DOES!!!!!!

SHE LIVES AND MAKES IT OUT SAFELY. this girl knows her shit and will live to tell the tale. even if its just plot armour working, it damn feels good to have them show a character worth their salt this way

as an extended bonus, this woman-gaze directed promo art is crazy.

im in love with her actually.

[monsoon-of-art]

Donut Hole - Chapter 16

Mountain Sound

Hold your horses now (We sleep until the sun goes down) Through the woods, we ran (Deep into the mountain sound) Hold your horses now (We sleep until the sun goes down) Through the woods, we ran

[THINGS ARE GETTING CRAZY FOLKS] [also shoutout to me rereading my old chapters and going 'oh Barry literally doesnt know Iscan's name'.] [Also I wanted to keep this chapter short and…that didn't happen. ENJOY THE 5k WORDS OF CHAOS!] [And a big thanks to my anonymous bestie and my friend Plant for Beta Reading!]

[ao3 Link]

Adaman didn’t return to his home in the Mirelands immediately. No, he went a bit further to the Coastlands to try and clear his head. Interacting with Irida for an extended period of time was bad for his health, he just knew it.

He stood on the sandy shores, the surf mere inches away from touching his shoes. Adaman took a moment to ground himself, breathing in the salty air. Time was precious, and spending time to reorient himself especially so.

“Lord Adaman!” down the stretch of beach, Iscan waved as he approached. “It’s always a pleasure to see you. What brings you here?”

“Had to clear my head. Irida just-” he gestured wildly with his hands with no clear meaning. “She just gets under my skin. You know how the Pearl Clan acts; they think they’re constantly right all the time?”

Iscan frowned. “I-I don’t know if every member of the Pearl Clan is like that…have you m-met them all?”

Adaman raised an eyebrow. “And you have?”

“Well…no.”

The Diamond Clan leader scoffed a bit at that, but Iscan seemed unconvinced. “W-What was Lady Irida talking about, anyhow?”

“You know that boy who robbed you, then broke your house?”

“How could I forget? What about him?”

Adaman fought not to roll his eyes. “Irida has convinced herself that he is connected to Dawn, of the Galaxy team.”

Iscan blinked at him, seemingly sharing Adaman’s skepticism. “And how did she come to that conclusion?”

“Half-baked coincidences and wishful thinking, I’d imagine. The two are children roughly the same age, both powerful trainers, both…weird-”

“Two of those things describe Warden Ingo? No offense to him of course-”

Adaman snickered at that, “That’s what I was thinking too. It’s all just coincidences. And my thought process is that sure, the boy may superficially resemble Dawn’s friend-”

“What?”

The clan leader took a breath. “I should’ve started at the beginning. Irida and I came to Jubilife to discuss that boy running about. But we were stopped by Dawn, who wanted to show us a pokemon she had caught, who she named after her best friend, Barry. Then she starts to cry and say how much she loved this friend, and how they used to train and battle and eat pecha berries-"

He paused, glancing over at Iscan, noticing how pale the other man was suddenly. "Did…did I say something?"

Iscan started to say something, stopped, thought for a moment. He closed his eyes and held a fist in front of his mouth, trying to recall. "You said the friend's name was Barry?" He finally asked.

"...yeah…?"

"And y-you said. You said they would eat pecha berries?"

Adaman felt a flicker of irritation. "Oh come now, Iscan, surely you don't-"

"Did Dawn describe the friend at all?"

"This is such a waste of time- yes. Yes she did, after Irida practically forced her to. A boy her age, taller, spikey blonde hair and a green scarf-"

Iscan spoke slowly, knowing that what he was about to say would not fly over well. "Sir. My Lord. With all due respect. I-I think Irida may be…c-correct.

That went just as well as Iscan thought it would. “You’re siding with her?! Might I remind you of what clan you’re part of?!”

“Adaman.” Iscan said firmly. “I am asking you to listen to me, instead of assuming the worst.”

This seemed to pacify Adaman, at least a little bit. Enough for Iscan to continue. “The boy in question came into my home, if you’ll recall. Stole some things, broke my walls. But before he did, he…spoke. I…I didn’t speak to him directly. Palina did, and she relayed everything the boy had said.”

Curiosity began overtaking Adaman’s anger. “...what did he say?”

“A-At first, we thought he was spouting madness. Asking for items we’ve never heard of, refusing to say where he had come from, and thought Palina was his mother. But…there was something else. He’s looking for someone.”

“That’s ominous. And vague. And unhelpful.”

“He’s looking for a girl. But he can’t remember the finer details. I think something’s scrambled his memory really bad. But there were two things he remembered; the girl was the best pokemon trainer he’s ever seen…and they used to share pecha berries.”

Adaman didn’t say a word. He slowly turned back to stare into the horizon, his mouth fixed into a thin line.

Iscan honestly thought he had broke him. “...L-Lord Adaman?”

Lord Adaman closed his eyes, inhaled through his nose, then exhaled. “...Fuck.”

He spun on his heel, gesturing in the air with his pointer finger. “Gather up the rest of the Wardens. We need to go catch this kid.”

---

When it was just Barry and his pokemon and the world around him, he could almost pretend he was on another adventure. That he was just exploring around Mount Coronet, looking for new discoveries, a pokemon center just around the corner. Later, when he was tired, he would go home, give his mom a kiss on the cheek, and tuck himself into bed.

It wasn’t true, of course. Not a single bit of it.

This was a different world from his own; Cyrus won, the world is ruined, pokemon centers don’t exist and his mom-

He didn’t want to think about that.

Barry focused on his pokemon. Once he was a safe distance from the weird shirtless man and his daughter(?) he had let his pokemon out of their balls. Fern took the lead, Pest sat on his head, Mystery flew above, Jen walked behind…

And Snacks kept bringing him things.

Snacks would toddle off for a while, returning with a handful of…something. Rocks. Twigs. Berries. He was surprised it stuck around so long. He had told the little guy that it was free to go once they were far enough away from those two nutjobs, but Snacks seemed content to stay.

Barry was…tired. Part of him wanted to find a nice spot to curl up and sleep, but they had already lost so much ground that they needed to make up…

He could feel it in his bones; this mountain had answers. He had to get to the top of this mountain.

Even if it killed him.

Barry tried to stifle a yawn as Fern slowed to check on him. “Atta boy Fern…keeping watch. Those nutjobs aren’t following us, right?”

Fern chirped, trying to gesture for Barry to slow down and sit. Barry barely put up a fight as his pokemon shuffled him onto a rock to rest.

“Mmkay, quick break. Quick break.” he muttered, petting the pokemon closest to him. In this case, Jen. Pest and Mystery preened the boy the best they could, and Snacks continued to pile small objects into Barry’s lap.

Absent-mindedly, he began sorting the items. Berries, twigs, clumps of dirt…and a jet black rock with sharp edges. This item caused him to pause, turning the item over in his hand. He ran his finger along the edge, wincing as he sliced a small cut on his finger tip. 

“It’s as dark as…dark can be.” he commented, trying to remember what this stone was. Had he seen it in a shopping magazine? Pamphlet? Flyer? Maybe in one of those trainer guides he’d get monthly in the mail-?

Realization hit him like a bucket of cold water. “M-MYSTERY!” He grabbed the bird, a little roughly, but not without kindness, to show him the stone. “DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?!”

Mystery, understandably surprised and startled, squawked in reply.

“It’s a DUSK STONE! You can evolve with this!”

That got the bird’s attention, and now it too was staring at the stone with fascination.

Barry turned to Snacks. “You are SUCH a good boy!... Girl!... Tree!! You are SUCH a good tree!!”

Barry was perfectly ready to give Mystery the Dusk Stone and begin Mystery’s evolution, but out of the corner of his eye he noticed Fern looking…tense. “...Buddy?”

His team grew quiet. Barry strained to try and hear what they were hearing, trying to listen past the faint whistle of the wind and rustling of leaves…

“...’m not sitting behind you, I have seniority…”

His brain wasn’t firing on all cylinders, but each thought felt like a Pikipek against his skull; were they followed? Where were these people? Did they know where he was? Would they hurt his pokemon? Was Cyrus there?

Quickly, he recalled all his pokemon but Fern, much to Mystery’s irritation. “W-We’ll evolve you later. This is more important. Fern, lead the way.”

The two of them crept closer to the voices, finding themselves peering over the rocky cliffs and into a small canyon.

It was all the commanders from Team Galactic he had met so far, and a few he hadn’t. What was worrying were the pokemon mounts they had - pokemon he had never seen before.

Barry focused on Palina, currently on the back of an enormous dog-pokemon. If he squinted, he’d almost be tempted to say it was a horribly ill arcanine. Of course they were mistreating their pokemon!

“I am not sitting behind you on Lord Arcanine, Palina. I have seniority! I should sit in front!” Gaeric argued. “I am not sitting behind you! That’s embarrassing!”

“Lord Arcanine is my Lord, Gaeric. You should’ve brought your own. Oh. Right. I forgot.”

He could vaguely see Ingo and that weird, stretched out Sneasel walking down a path in the the cliffs to join the small group, flanked by a tall man in blue with long hair who appeared to really not want to be there.

Even at a distance, Barry could sense a weird tension amongst everyone, which he found strange. Weren’t they all part of Team Galactic?

Both Barry and Fern turned to the sound of galloping hooves. Riding in on a large, white deer were two people; a woman in the blue galactic uniform with black hair, and a man in a much more decorative jacket of some kind.

“He must be a leader. Wait. Cyrus is the leader.” Barry muttered. “What’s in between a commander and a leader? General?”

Sure. He’d settle on ‘General’.

The ‘General’ barely had time to hop off the pokemon before another, tall man stormed over. “Adaman, what is the meaning of this?! Working together with them?!” The tall man gestured to the commanders in pink with disgust in his voice.

‘General’ Adaman raised his hands to pacify. “Melli, settle down. We’re here with a shared goal; to find the boy.”

Barry felt his heart skip several beats. “O-Oh my God.”

They were definitely looking for him. But…it appeared they didn’t know where he was yet.

‘General’ Adaman spoke to the group now. “We are still waiting for Warden Calaba and Lady Irida. They will be arriving on Ursaluna.”

“So they’ll be a while.” the girl on the deer added.

“Must we share ride pokemon?” Melli continued to complain.  

Ingo spoke now, “It is imperative we find the boy as fast as our routes will allow! As such, riding on the back of Pokemon is a must! But Melli and I know the mountains best, and it would be best for us to traverse on foot!”

Melli huffed at that, “Well that’s not much better.”

Finally, lumbering into the clearing was an enormous bear of some kind; with an older woman in pink and a younger woman with a crown on her head.

“Ah, finally decided to grace our presence, Lady Irida.” said Adaman. “This was your idea, you know.”

General Irida scowled at him as she hopped off the Pokemon’s back. “Lord Ursaluna takes his time, and who am I to tell him otherwise? Great haste makes great waste.”

“True, but a little haste would be appreciated.”

My God. Barry thought to himself. Were these two always like this?

How exhausting.

Finally, the two generals addressed the group together. Adaman spoke first, gesturing with his hands. “You’re all aware why we’re here. We need to finally take care of that child once and for all.”

Barry gulped.

Irida’s body language was much more closed off, but she followed up with, “The child is a danger to himself and others-”

“He set our settlement on FIRE.” Gaeric shouted.

“And he buried OUR SETTLEMENT in a LANDSLIDE!” Melli added.

The generals grimaced at the upset murmurings and general feeling of irritation. Adaman attempted to regain command. “Which is why we’re trying to capture him? He can’t just keep running around like this! Who knows what he’ll do next!”

“We’re in a temporary truce to work together to find him.” Said Irida. “According to Gaeric and Sabi, Berry was last seen heading towards the Highlands-”

Sabi began jumping in place, her giant bird loudly squawking, “And I can sense him still! He’s so close!”

Barry felt a shiver run up his spine at that. There were so many of them…and only one of him. If he wasn’t careful, then he was going to end up in their clutches.

He started slinking back, careful not to make any sudden movements or sound-

From his bag rolled the pokeball containing Mystery, and once the ball hit the floor, the large murkrow burst free with an ear-piercing croak.

As Barry and Fern scrambled to get its pokeball, Mystery was already rummaging in Barry’s bag, knocking items out with a loud clatter.

“MYSTERY- MYSTERY NO-!” came Barry’s terrified hiss. “I SAID WE’D EVOLVE YOU LATER - BAD BIRD! GET BACK IN THE BALL!”

The Galactic Commanders and General had definitely noticed the noise by now, unsure what to make of it.

“That is not a normal call from a Murkrow-” “Should we do something?” “What is it even doing-?”

Finally, Mystery managed to snag the Dusk Stone from Barry’s bag, and began to glow.

“SHIT.”

Mystery as a Murkrow was already an absurdly large specimen. Mystery as a Honchkrow was enormous. As large as Barry stood tall, maybe even larger. 

And much to Barry’s horror, Mystery’s new, large size made them a new, very large target.

“Is that him?” “That’s him!”

If looks could kill, the withering glare Barry gave his Honchkrow would’ve made the bird explode into a puff of feathers. “We need to leave. Now!” he said as he scrambled to shove all of the items back into his bag.

There was no way he could outrun them. But he had a bit of a lead. As Barry ran, Fern and Mystery flanked him. "Mystery, if we get out of this alive? I'm turning you into a feather duster!"

In practically no time at all, he could hear the panting and the heavy footfalls of paws hitting the earth from the arcanine behind them. It almost felt like each step caused the mountain to shake.

They had caught up so fast.

“Berry!” Palina pleaded from the back of the arcanine. (Wait did she get his name wrong?) “Berry, please! We only want to help! Stop running!”

“Then stop CHASING ME then!” Barry shot back. 

‘Help’. Sure. Like he’d believe that.

“Stop making this so difficult!” Gaeric said from behind her.

He saw a small trail up ahead, snaking through a thin chasm. There was no way the arcanine could follow them down there. And with a quick glance, Barry informed his pokemon of the plan.

As soon as they could, the three of them ducked down the trail. The Arcanine whined and tried to paw at the entrance, testing if it could fit, to no avail. Barry heard shouting, but the adrenaline that was quickly overwhelming his system blurred all noise.

He had to get out of here in one piece.

Barry and his pokemon finally squeezed out of the trail on a different side of the mountain. Everything was starting to blend together now; sound, sights, thoughts. His hands were clammy. His head was starting to spin.

A wave of clarity hit when Barry saw the white deer round a corner, General Adaman and the unnamed commander with black hair on its back.

“F-Fern-!” Barry squeaked, pointing in their direction.

With a single word, Fern understood perfectly. It took a ready stance, fully prepared to take on the white deer galloping towards them at top speed.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t going to be that easy. The deer slowed to a stop, and with a single, stern look, Fern staggered.

Hypnosis.

“No-” Barry whispered, seeing Fern try to shake off the effects of the hypnosis and failing. “No!”

“This is for your own good.” Adaman said. “Lord Wyrdeer, another Hypnosis-”

“You don’t know what’s good for me!” Barry shot back, and before he could even utter the command, Mystery flew in for his rescue. 

Shrieking like a crobat from hell, Mystery swooped forward, talons aimed directly for the deer’s face. The deer bellowed, rising on its back legs to try and shake Mystery off, General Adaman nearly falling off entirely, if not for the unnamed commander grabbing his shirt.

“You’re not going to stop me! I won’t let you win!” Barry continued to spit like an enraged seviper, recalling Fern to its pokeball.

His adversaries distracted, Barry ran.

Looking over his shoulder, he whistled for Mystery to catch up with him. This proved to be a mistake, as taking his eyes off the path for a split second caused him to trip.

And fall.

Down one of the cliffs.

Luckily for Barry, this particular cliff wasn’t very high, nor was it steep. He mostly slid and scrambled his way down more than fell. This did not stop him from hitting every root and rock on the way down, and it did not make hitting the ground hurt any less.

He laid there for a moment, groaning, his bandaged leg spiking with pain upon impact. Mystery landed next to him with a flutter of feathers, tugging on his clothes to try and pull him up.

Barry couldn’t lay there for long, seeing and hearing something shuffling closer. He sat up, seeing the lumbering form of a giant bear approaching him now.

“Berry…we want to help.” came the soft voice of General Irida. “You’re looking for someone, right? We could help you find her…if you come with us?”

“Don’t try and negotiate with crazy people.” The older woman hissed.

“S’atrap…” Barry slurred as he tried to stand, wincing as he put weight on his injured leg. “‘S a trap. It’s a TRAP. Gonna help me into a GRAVE.”

Mystery cawed loudly in agreement.

“No! No no no, it’s not a trap! We’re not lying to you!” Irida continued to insist as she - and the giant bear with giant bear claws - lumbered closer.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a cave entrance, from a glance it looked too small for the giant bear to fit in.

Could Barry outrun a bear? He was about to find out.

“You’re not getting me. You’re not getting me. You’re not getting me.” he muttered, slowly walking backwards. “You’re not going to win.”

“Berry-!”

“AND THAT’S NOT MY NAME! MY NAME IS BARRY!” 

And Barry ran. Bolting for the cave entrance even as the two women yelled and the bear bellowed behind him. The only confirmation of his pokemon by his side was the rustling of feathers as the two bolted for presumed safety.

But he found no solace within the cave. Instead he found two pairs of glowing eyes staring at him.

“You have traveled far, but your determination has not brought you victory. Not this time, young passenger.”

Barry felt a shiver run down his spine.

“Let me introduce myself again. I am the Warden Ingo. You have done well to evade my fellow Wardens, but you will have no such luck with me.” 

Ingo assumed a familiar pose; the iconic ‘point and call’ that Barry was familiar with from travel magazines and advertisements for the Battle Subway in Unova. But it was…wrong. Ingo looked horribly stiff, his tattered clothing doing him no favors.

He looked like he had died on this mountain.

Barry quickly glanced around the cave, looking for a potential exit. To his immediate right was a soft glow indicating another cave opening, but the stretched out sneasel clearly noticed as well; starting to slowly skulk over to block it off.

“Now, you are a very smart boy, and a very skilled trainer. The bond between you and your pokemon is admirable.” He lowered his head, the brim of his cap obscuring his eyes and making him look all the more intimidating. “So don’t be stupid, now. Come with us. This track ends here. It’s time to divert your course.”

‘Oh my God.’ Barry thought, sweat forming on his brow. ‘Subway Boss Ingo is going to kill me in this cave.’

He couldn’t go back. And he couldn’t go forward without a fight.

So fight it was.

“MYSTERY, GO GET THAT SNEASEL!” 

Ingo and the sneasel seemed surprised by this outcome, but what did they expect, honestly? That Barry was going to give up? Turn himself in? Fat chance.

Mystery flew forward with a horrid screech, flapping its wings and raising its talons to fight the sneasel. It was a longshot; the sneasel had a type advantage, being ice.

Regardless, the sneasel howled and raised its large claws to try and shield itself. Ingo was shouting something, fumbling for his pokeballs. And in the chaos, Barry made a break for it.

Barry ran from the cave, temporarily blinded by sunlight, Mystery flying just behind him. But just behind the wingbeats was the sound of hooves, of heavy paws, shouting, begging, pleading for him to stop, stop, stop, STOP.

And deep down, Barry knew he had to eventually. His lungs were burning, his head felt fuzzy, his leg felt like jelly. The inevitability was killing him. He had to keep running. He had to stop. He had to keep running. He had to stop.

Unfortunately, the terrain decided for him.

Barry yelped, skidding to a stop just before tumbling off another cliff. This one steeper. This one taller. If he fell down this cliff, he wouldn’t have walked away with just scrapes and bruises.

He turned, starting to run back the way he came, but was instead met with the sick arcanine, Palina, and Gaeric.

Barry squeaked, walking backwards as the arcanine slowly inched closer. They were swiftly joined by the other commanders and their respective ride pokemon (or lack of).

He was cornered. Cornered cornered. His legs started to shake as he tried to think of possibilities to get out of this mess, but each potential idea ending in painful failure after painful failure.

“Good God, it’s about time we catch this brat.” said Melli with a snooty huff.

“You didn’t even help! Y-You were in the Moonview Arena!” countered the man with a shaved head in blue. 

“I was keeping a watchful eye over my dear Lord! Sinnoh forbid this brat hurt Lord Electrode-”

“Shut it- Shut it!” Adaman hissed as he dismounted the deer. “Squabble later!”

Irida dismounted the bear at the same time. “Ber- Barry. Barry.” she said slowly, hands outstretched as if she were attempting to pacify a great beast instead of a thirteen year old boy.

They were all inching closer now. Barry honestly thought his heart would explode, or his legs would give out. Like his entire body would fall apart at the seams like a poorly made ragdoll.

“P-Pl..please. Don’t hurt my pokemon.” was the only thing Barry managed to say, reaching to pet Mystery’s inky feathers without looking away from the encroaching commanders.

Behind him, Mystery let out a soft, confused croon.

“Should we have Ingo use sleep powder on him again?” Gaeric asked.

The woman on the deer looked surprised. “Ingo did what?”

“No, no, none of that. We’re not going to do anything drastic.” Irida spoke as if she were speaking for Barry’s behalf as well. Perhaps urging him to comply. “We’re just going to take him to the Galaxy Headquarters in Jubilife-”

“Team Galactic is in Jubilife?” asked Barry, quietly, almost in disbelief. Last he knew, the Galactic Headquarters should be in Eterna city. But this is a world where Cyrus ruled, and why wouldn’t he move his headquarters to the biggest city in Sinnoh?

Of course, that did him little good now, stuck between a horde of commanders and a cliff face, metaphorical rock and a hard place. And now he just felt stupid for running around a mountain all day. Barry could feel the tears start to well in his eyes.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 

With a determined croak, Mystery threw the boy onto its back. It took Barry a minute to get more comfortable, practically throwing his arms around Mystery’s neck. It was a lot different than riding his Staratpor back home, that’s for certain.

Mystery looked over its shoulder. Barry looked back, eyes widening in realization.

He nodded.

“THAT TRACK IS NOT SAFE FOR TRAVERSAL!” Ingo shouted, voice frantic and fearful, reaching for the pokeball containing Gliscor. “FOR YOUR SAFETY I ASK YOU DISMOUNT IMMEDIATELY!”

“Ingo, what are you saying?!” the old woman on the back of the bear demanded.

Sabi answered for him. “HE’S GONNA JUMP!”

The group surged forward. Some begging, some yelling, but all telling the boy in some form to get away from the cliff.

“He doesn’t have the guts! Only Lord Braviary can fly carrying someone!” Melli loudly scoffed. “The brat might as well do a flip to entertain the crowd!”

Adaman turned and sharply hissed, “Melli, with Sinnoh as my witness, I will strangle you.”

Barry and Mystery paid the crowd no mind. The small bit of space before the drop-off would provide the bird a decent running start; so Mystery turned and began to sprint directly for the cliff’s edge.

Of course, Barry hadn’t seen a single Technical Machine lying around since he arrived, let alone the Hidden Machine for Fly. But he had to trust in his pokemon, and trust that Mystery wouldn’t let him plummet to his death-

“Wait WAIT WAIT- I CHANGED MY-”

Mystery jumped.

For the briefest of moments, Barry felt weightless. Looking out over the mountainous hills, he felt…small. Like a feather, or maybe a dandelion puff in the breeze.

And then gravity kicked in, and the two began to fall.

And fall.

And fall.

Seeing the ground rushing to meet him, Barry squeezed his eyes shut tight, “Mystery I’m sorry for threatening to turn you into a feather duster!” he said, fighting to speak against the wind. ”God, take pity on my little broken body!”

He couldn’t see it, but at that, Mystery smirked.

Barry felt Mystery start to flap its wings, and the pressure of gravity beginning to fade. He cracked open an eye, seeing the landscape flying by.

“W-We’re flying! WE’RE FLYING!!” 

Feeling the wind in his hair, seeing the world blur past…he had missed this. He had grown so used to flying on Staraptor back home, it had become so mundane. But this? This was a completely different ballpark.

“W-We can fly to Jubilife from here! It shouldn’t be that far- Mystery, fly us to the top of Mount Coronet!” he commanded.

Behind them came a screech. Barry spun around, seeing that the enormous bird Sabi commanded, a gliscor, and a crobat was currently tailing them.

“UH-” 

Barry couldn’t exactly start a pokemon battle in the sky. A sky battle? That sounded incredibly stupid. Instead, Barry rummaged through his bag and started throwing things. The rocks and sticks and other random items that Snacks had brought him proved excellent ammo.

Unfortunately, this only caused annoyance. Both for the pokemon pursuing them and for Mystery.

Mystery cawed and cawed nonstop, Barry meekly closing his bag and wrapping his arms around the bird’s neck once more, which finally seemed to pacify it.

Then, in a swift motion, Mystery rolled onto its back, slashing at the crobat with its talons. And with another swipe, slashed at the gliscor.

As Mystery rolled back, the crobat and gliscor retreated.

Only the enormous bird remained.

Mystery and Barry darted through the mountains, trying to shake the bird off their trail and to form some sort of sense of direction. But even the fanciest of tricks couldn’t get rid of it.

Regardless, Mystery darted through a cloud layer and emerged out the top, slowly circling the peak of Mount Coronet.

The first thing Barry set his eyes upon was the swirling vortex in the sky; a blackened, gaping wound that bled lightning and thunder. That same, terrible unease from before gripped Barry’s entire rib cage and began to squeeeeeze.

After some effort, Barry tore his gaze away. “Spear Pillar should be-huh?”

In Spear Pillar’s place was…well, a temple. Carved marble columns, statues, a stone roof- it was like someone came and fixed Spear Pillar overnight.

“I…I guess Cyrus likes old architecture?” It’d certainly fit him, Cyrus looked ancient.

“Those are the stairs! And they face North!” said Barry, pointing at the landmark. He then did some mental triangulation, using the tried and true method of ‘Never Eat Soggy Wurmples’, Barry was able to mentally map out where Jubilife should be.

“Mystery! We gotta head Southwest! We should hit Jubilife-”

Bursting from the clouds like a Sharpedo out of water, the giant bird screeched as it tried to grab the two with its claws.

Mystery screamed back, loud enough to hurt Barry’s ears (Snarl, maybe? Could Honchkrow learn Snarl?) and to make the bird hesitate. And within this hesitation, Mystery dashed forward, talons raised in attack.

Barry almost felt bad. But at this point he was just a passenger on this flight.

With a pained whimper, the enormous bird sank below the clouds, defeated.

Barry stroked Mystery’s chest feathers. “Let’s head out of here before it comes back. Onward! To Jubilife!”

---

[Sabi, last chapter: You can't hurt a Noble that's against the rules :( Mystery, this chapter: And I'll fuckin' do it again] [This entire chapter was seriously 'Mystery off the Shits' huh. BUT OH BOY HERE WE GO TO JUBILIFE :)] THE TEAM:

[seth-burroughs]

Good day! I have question and wanna hear your opinion (headcanon) on it

Do you think Yomi is the type of person who keeps a pile of pillows on the bed (he considers stuffed animals to be immature) or the type of person who keeps the bed neat?

and what kind of personal items may be present near his bed?

I mean the game shows us Yakou and Makoto's personal bedrooms, the rooms on the Amaterasu express train but Yomi's room is only mentioned by Makoto. I'm soooooo curious *sobbing*

Good- *violently cranes neck to check the clock* night tumblr user cochidinh

before anything: while he's definitely the type to consider owning stuffed animals to be the ultimate disgrace as a person - which, let's be honest, is the opinion of most adults anyway and not just one of Yomi's weird beliefs (and he has many) - I implore you to consider:

Anyway...

Def keeps the pile. Whenever he's mad (everyday) he starts growling and biting the patrick bateman dakimakura, wraps his arms around it and starts aggressively bunny kicking it with his legs, like cats do with their toys. Whenever I give Kobra a new toy she does it and it's adorable. Until it's my hand. Ow. Living with a cat for 3 years has given me ridiculous pain tolerance on my arms though, like, she just mauls me for 20 seconds and I don't even emote. It's fine. Anyway...

Like I have said earlier: this is man is a cat to me. I will give him as many cat traits as humanly possible.

Anyway - not just his bedroom (because like I have no idea I'm so sowwy. can somebody else speak on this I have a clear image yet zero words), but his entire house is just. full of hidden guns. everywhere. The drawer gun. The bed gun, obviously. The bin gun. The chandelier gun. The 47 guns beneath the floorboards (there is no way to access them other than take apart the floor). The stair pistol. The carbon monoxide detector gun. The magnificent rifle hoard behind the moving bookcase. The flower vase revolver. The rug gun. Don't forget the numerous bullet jars randomly littered around the house, those aren't hidden though, it's visible for emergency refuel just in case. The refrigerator carabin. He wanted a gun in one of the hallways but there wasn't a place to hide it so he just taped it onto the wall. The shower glock. Gun disguised as a flashlight. All of them are fully loaded

Whenever Martina asked why he does that, he just stared blankly directly in her eyes and said, "you just never know", nothing more, nothing less

(not just the guns though! If he finds/buys himself something he likes, or gets a snack or other kind of food he wants to keep for himself he also just hides it somewhere out of sight (me too btw. do not ask me). He doesnt really need to because he has like zero roommates aside from Martina sometimes, and whenever he invites people over for dictator business or whatever I don't know what rich people do with each other, they don't start running around his house trying to rob him. But you just never know.)

[sunset-of-the-void]

okay ive been trying to organize my thoughts forever and its not exactly working so. i'm just gonna launch things in as short and concise as i can make it so i dont ramble incoherantly forever (/lh)

so,, i'll start with my perception of norton, because by god i think i should think about him more,,,

i'm not gonna touch on his mom because i have no clue what the fuck happened to her honestly, but i think norton's dad has always been kind of. accidentally distant? like in a way you could tell he cared for his son, but there was probably always an air of stress/tiredness about him (similar to norton as he aged) that got worse from the black lung and aging, and also the way that they were never guarenteed to have necessities all the time was something that occupied his mind a lot. (i imagine personally that while the two were never close, norton could understand the reasons why hence choosing to stay by his side once he fell bedridden)

also, while norton probably didn't work in the mines for his entire life, he'd probably do small jobs on the side to help out with funds, especially considering his lack of an (official? authentic?? i cant recall the word im looking for) education in canon, so you know. he's been aware of the concept of money and status for a while i'd assume, even moreso when he starts working in the mines as a teenager (which i'd assume is when his father's illness starts worsening as well) and people there are just. ruthless i'd imagine. considering in his trailer he looks (debatably?) younger than the other men it's probably from both a mix of him being a newer worker and possibly being worse off than them as well plus the stress on him having to be the only provider for two people, one of which is ill as well, as a teenager proobably doesnt help much with the situation either...... i've not much to add other than this, though touching on his personality in the manor, despite being reserved and a liittle grumpy he is very sweet once you get past the walls he put up! he's the type of person to help someone who needs it (albeit he may make a show of being reluctant about it) but he does know what its like to struggle and how much a helping hand could mean to someone. he's still very empathetic in my mind :]

very very briefly onto andrew because if i dont limit myself this will be soo much longer. but i'll try not to get too excited and i'll cut out most of his life (pretty much all of it up to about laz cemetary)

so basically andrew also had similar situations being born in poverty, while norton managed to gain financial security as he became a prospector (i think?) andrew didnt really. get that at all. even when working with laz (if he did, there wouldnt be a reason to be tempted by grave robbing, right???) and i personally assume people would price gouge him for the sake of him being "impure" or whatever, so even with the pay from mikhail/percy it never really lasted quite long enough,,,,

andrew only left after getting caught by marshall, and fled immediately after the (accidental) murder. (to summarize it shortly andrew panicked and stabbed him a few times with the shovel and then accidentally buried him while he was still alive in a nearby patch of dirt) and he showed up to the manor with. practically nothing. he had a change of clothes, his shovel, and some trinkets that were dear to him, and to me he kind of traveled on foot the nearly whole time to the manor (using the funds he had left from the final deal of the "slabs" to take a train as far as he could with the money)

so now like.. the actual current important thing (sorry dhsjdjfj......)

once andrew shows up to the manor he's in ah. generally pretty bad shape. and people kind of have one of two reactions of either "wow this guys one of the stranger ones" or "this guy needs. a lot of help" (depending on how you look at it) and norton kind of realizes almost immediately from andrew's general anxious demeanour and gaunt figure that he has nothing going for him, so why would he make that worse?? plus in the manor norton kind of gravitates away from nobility/aristocracy i believe and andrew is very. noticably not either of those, andrew is just grateful that norton's not reacting negatively to his very presence and he puts a lot of trust in norton. (like, norton gets a fuck ton of life stories that luca and emil dont hear about) im working on a fic of their first technical interaction and im not sure if i'll ever finish it since ive been stewing it since like.. april but they're cute to me

Hello! Very excited to read through this

To be honest i dont think norton's mom is mentioned like ever. At least in nothing i personally have read. I do agree that hia family would have been distant. They were in living in poverty and it puts a strain on anyone much less a family. To me it aids in norton's cutthroat nature of just having a life of anything but the suffering of poverty.

I would love to read the fic once you finish it! I really like andrew and norton getting each other as they have both been ostracized from society for being poor and then for Andrew being albino! I was going to have a lot more to say but i dont think it would have added much to this. I will be marinating on thoughts for this thank you so much for the ramble friend!

[cronagorgonzola]

Its always so heartbreaking and frustrating to me how easily adults will dismiss teenagers' complaints about school. How often theyll just shoot back "so what, high school sucks? It's supposed to"

Like. How can you look a suffering child in the eye and say "your experience doesnt matter to me because i think it's normal"? If so many teens and former teens agree that high school is a miserable experience, shouldnt we be working together to fix it? Shouldnt we listen to the complaints of the people currently experiencing the system, and do our best to constantly improve it moving forward? Cause the complaints are almost never "i just dont want to learn" - kids, in general, like to learn! Many of them have just been trained to believe they hate it by a school system that makes them constantly miserable!

And what about the kids who are uniquely suffering? Kids who are being abused at home or bullied in ways the teachers cant even identify because of how quickly communication technology has evolved? Kids with undiagnosed disabilities who are forced to bash their heads against material they cant focus on until they believe theyre just too stupid to get it? Kids with diagnosed disabilities who are forced to suppress their own self-regulatory behaviors to sit quietly in class? How can anyone say "it's normal to hate high school, get over it" with a clear conscience when you have no idea what could be going on in a kid's life or in their head?

Like. Im not saying it's easy. I remember being a teenager, and i barely understood what i was feeling most of the time, and communicating it to adults felt impossible. But thats because no one gave me the tools to do it - any time i tried to complain, i heard "high school sucks, everyone knows" and i shut up. I never bothered to analyze my feelings further because i thought it didnt matter.

And at a certain point, there are things adults cant fix; teenagers are mean and they have big feelings, they havent developed empathy or communication skills yet, theyre going to do things that hurt each other. Thats part of growing up. But if we make teenagers think that theres no point in ever going to adults for help, we rob them of the chance to learn how to understand and communicate whats actually going on in their lives.

Adults built this system. Adults forced their kids into it. And now adults have a responsibility to listen to the kids experiencing the system and not just dismiss them because "i hated high school too"

[princemonday]

runext finale thoughts:

weird asf group name and weird asf lineup. like idk why two of them are there but im not gonna send them hate and if they have good music ill still stream even though my faves didnt all make it. yk like a normal person would 🤷🏻‍♀️

so when i heard that korean votes would be used for the top two i knew exactly what hybe was up to. they wanted wonhee to debut. it probably would have been way closer...maybe fourth or fifth place if they used international votes and they didnt want to risk it. whether they meant to make jiwoo collateral or not is up for debate though.

i really think the judges just didnt like jiwoo bc what the fuck. i think hybe (and, consequently, the judges) knew who would be top two if they made the finale votes mostly korean and in doing so planned for the other four to not be jiwoo.

so i kinda predicted jiwoo falling out but jeemin? wow. i didnt expect that. she was never in my picks but she seemed to have that factor. i thought she and youngseo would be top two with youngseo being first and when i found out about korean voting, i assumed jeemin would take yunah or moka's spot. i cant even begin to theorize how that didnt happen.

iroha and wonhee were the judges favorites. this was clear as day. iroha was very much favored by the judges. she got second place on her team in given and taken and third overall after the bang! performance (stages where she made mistakes.) i think irohas personality is very charming and if theres no jeemin or jihyun we need a main dancer like her but shes still very young to me and her vocals arent very developed (see money and shut down performances.) wonhee is honestly a topic i dont want to discuss again but since im going over all the winners heres my opinion plainly:

shes too young. she trained the least out of everyone. she has a constant lost duck expression. she (like ena) had the potential to train some more and become a banger main vocalist (her tone is very pretty.) she fumbled the fearless performance. she ate the ssfwl and feel special performances up (showing her rapid growth.) her debut definitely robbed jeemin and jiwoo but the hate for her is absolutely disgusting. thats all.

youngseo....yeah i mean whos surprised? not really much to say other than good for her. i guess i dont like her voice but that doesnt mean its bad. she deserves it even though she was never in my picks. i will say though that she has tsuki syndrome. which ive classified as having very intense charisma and facial expressions so everyone thinks youre the perfect example of stage presence. over the top expressions doesnt mean talented idol. of course youngseo is talented also but if i had to point to the contestant with the best stage presence and expressions it would be jeemin no doubt. (neither of these girls were ever in my picks so im being v unbiased here)

moka....will rule the world. so proud of her. eat sleep moka.

yunah being sixth is wild. i think they just did that for shock value. shes the mood maker yall. live laugh yunah.

lastly minju....again good for her. very versatile and professional. her vocal tone is the most unique in the show and if they don't have jiwoo they'll need a stand out vocalist like her. (still hate that she had the entire i dont care performance while hyewon had like 3 lines even with voicing her uncertainty but we move on)

heres what my lineup out of the final 10 wouldve been vs my predictions vs what happened

my ideal lineup (in order from first to sixth place)

jiwoo, yunah, moka, jeongeun, minju, iroha

my predictions for the final lineup:

youngseo, jeemin, minju, wonhee, jiwoo, and moka or yunah (without korean popularity vote. with it jeemin and wonhee would switch places)

the final lineup:

wonhee, youngseo, minju, iroha, moka, yunah

really hope to see the other girls in other projects soon. esp jiwoo. justice 4 jiwoo. ill make another post going over my thoughts of the eliminated contestants soon </3

[gothushi]

Rob knows what kinda smut you read and knows you love biiig dicks. He also knows how sweet and sorta inexperienced you are with aforementioned dicks. He almost goes cross eyed when you’re together and you tell him how much you want or talk about how big he is (he knows and he doesn’t brag about it) but bro when you’re going down on him and you give him little teasing kisses/licks and then you have to wrap your hands around what you can’t get in your mouth. He can almost come just from that.

yea yea yea uea yea ye aue su eayr je rnfnendkks

like. first of all rob knows hes got a big fat cock. like. the kind u see in porn vids, not ur average everyday man. he knows, but he isnt cocky or anything abt it. (at least not till u. and not in a cringy ‘haha my cocks real big baby mmm’ its like.. condescending.. sweet.. ‘ohh.. my dick too big, honey? no.. i think itll fit..’

i can see when ur like .. u first get together and hes suuuper sweet with a whole thing abt not rushing sex or stuff bc .. sorry i rly like to hc u with rob as. maybe not a virgin but just super innocent, not a lot of experience and mostly vanilla stuff. which can tie in super easy to u reading fantasy books n smut n stuff.

i think hed be super gentle at first (always) with fucking u for the first time and. i cld totally do a first time fic w him/little drabble bc hed start by eating u out and stretching u with at least three fingers. u keep begging and begging and ur brains going all mushy for the first time ever and ur eyes are glassy but hes like … ‘no honeypie uve gotta be prepped for me.. ‘kay?’ he doesnt like to just be outright ‘my dick is really big’. but… uve seen it… seen the bulge in his pants.. short glimpses when he gets out of the shower before its hidden by a towel… u know hes bigger than ‘normal’

so when his pants finally come off and uve been fuckin edged at least four times by now ur like … holy fuck … i mean, hes god damn hung. even though hes achingly hard like dizzy with the feeling his cock is still down between his thighs. and then u whimper

‘tha’s not gonna fit in me!’

ouhhnt the way ur all teary and whiny with another gush of slick from ur hole makes him shiver. like one that runs up his spine and right back down to make his dick throb. thats the first time he realizes he likes this whole size diff thing. bc he gets to coo at u all ‘ohh.. i knew that honey… ‘m only gonna give u the tip, okay? we’re gonna take it nice and slow… gotta train this pussy for me..’ and the way u start squirming in a mini tantrum as if it isnt obvious he is not fitting all the way rn and like u arent the one who said smth first is so funny to him. ouhhh he likes it.

so the time when u do manage to take like… lets say half… ohntrf when ur whimpering all crying and ‘’s so big.. daddy..’ ‘daddy’s too big- ah! hurts-‘ ‘so- full!’

yea. he rly. rly likes that. has him filling u up immediately with a throaty groan while u squirm and cry.

i almost forgot to tie in the whole reading thing sorry but yea u read romance books n browse ao3 for stories and he knows but doesnt pry. and .. u probably up ur reading amount while hes on trips/and during the entire training portion of ur sex life bc … not that he never leaves u unsatisfied bc trust u are ALWAYS satisfied.. he just leaves u wanting more.

so u find urself browsing different categories for the first time.. different kinks.. all things that rob has done/or things u want from rob but are wayyy too shy to admit. hed probably only pry bc one time u fall asleep w ur phone open and he spots.. some choice words. naughty stuff. then he reads whats on the screen and yea … ur caught. uve been reading specifically size diff fics.. w daddy kink… praise… and this latest author u found has a way w words.

hed keep his knowing a secret bc .. like he doesnt care if ur reading smut or romance stuff, but i can see that eventually down the line ur more open abt ur books or if u found a new slow burn fic u start to babble abt them to him. so eventually he’ll b a bit of a tease

now for head im not gna go super into detail bc .. im working on a short fic for it. but ur right he like. absolutely loses his mind. hes so patient and has such great stamina and willpower that if he didnt have u he cld go like … two months w out jacking off rly. but .. i mean, now? yes he can hold out rly well and not be as pathetically needy as u cumming three times before he does once but hes only a man.

when ur given free will to explore with his instructions… down between his thighs w big puppy dog eyes and ur little tongue shyly peeking out… ohhh my god hes leaking like a broken faucet and when u make a little grimace at the taste of his pre he almost busts right there.

he thinks ur so cute

[historicalfightingguide]

"Daryl Homer on the Secret to Consistently Strong Fencing"

"

EPISODE SUMMARY

Our guest is Daryl Homer, three-time Olympian (2012, 2016 and 2020) who earned a silver medal at the 2016 games in Rio, becoming the first U.S. men's saber fencer to win an individual silver at the Olympics since 1904. We talked about his fencing origin story, the secret to his consistency and how he's changed in the 13 years since he made his first senior team.

EPISODE NOTES

In this episode of First to 15, we're joined by Daryl Homer, three-time Olympian and 2016 Summer Olympics silver medalist in men's saber. 

Follow Daryl Homer on Instagram

Read a transcript for this episode"

So while this podcast is obviously geared directly towards olympic fencers there's still some elements that historical fencers may find useful. Even if your personal focus is medals it's still unlikely you'll have the same context as an olympic fencer, however the types of situation you have to deal with have a lot of overlap. Even if you're not interested in medals fighting in tournaments and competitions of various sorts, high intensity sparring etc. can all be very good practice for checking our interpretations, stress testing our skill and so on. And in that regard whether you're swinging around a foil or a federschwert doesnt matter nearly as much to your internal feelings in the moment.

But that aside, more importantly, the sources are filled with various bits of advice on seeking out other competent people to fence with, learn from, on regular play etc. and many other things this episode touches on.

For anyone who hasn’t yet seen the following links:

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Some advice on how to start studying the sources generally can be found in these older posts

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Remember to check out  A Guide to Starting a Liberation Martial Arts Gym as it may help with your own club/gym/dojo/school culture and approach.Check out their curriculum too.

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Fear is the Mind Killer: How to Build a Training Culture that Fosters Strength and Resilience by   Kajetan Sadowski   may be relevant as well.

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“How We Learn to Move: A Revolution in the Way We Coach & Practice Sports Skills”  by Rob Gray  as well as this post that goes over the basics of his constraints lead, ecological approach.

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Another useful book to check out is  The Theory and Practice of Historical European Martial Arts (while about HEMA, a lot of it is applicable to other historical martial arts clubs dealing with research and recreation of old fighting systems).

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Trauma informed coaching and why it matters

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Look at the previous posts in relation to running and cardio to learn how that relates to historical fencing.

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Why having a systematic approach to training can be beneficial

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Why we may not want one attack 10 000 times, nor 10 000 attacks done once, but a third option.

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How consent and opting in function and why it matters.

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More on tactics in fencing

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Open vs closed skills

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The three primary factors to safety within historical fencing

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Worth checking out are this blogs tags on pedagogy and teaching for other related useful posts.

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And if you train any weapon based form of historical fencing check out the ‘HEMA game archive’ where you can find a plethora of different drills, focused sparring and game options to use for effective, useful and fun training.

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Check out the cool hemabookshelf facsimile project.

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For more on how to use youtube content for learning historical fencing I suggest checking out these older posts on the concept of video study of sparring and tournament footage.

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Consider getting some patches of this sort or these cool rashguards to show support for good causes or a t-shirt like to send a good message while at training.