#who wants to watch me play outer wilds. who wants to shoot the shit with me on call while i do celeste b sides

[larnax]

the one thing i miss is having friends who i can force to watch streams of me playing games on discord. i miss that so fucking much sometimes. i dont want to play multiplayer games i just want to be a twitch streamer to an audience of one

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Imagine:

Erik walking in on the reader masturbating and she tries to cover herself with embarrassment

Bruce "Viper" Holmes. A notorious mobster and drug lord in Miami since the late 1980s. He had three older sons but one of them disowned his father and moved away to private property in the Virgin Islands with his wife and the other two were murdered. He has a daughter too, around 23 years old, a recent college graduate and her father's soft spot. She's a flower in the barrel of a gun. Calm his raging murderous storm. Bruce has her on a 24/7 watch with constant bodyguards. She really wanted to live on her own but they both knew that if she did, someone out there would try and kill her to get revenge for losing a loved one of their own because of Bruce. Then there is Killmonger. Bruce's personal hitman. He's been working with Bruce for years, a trusted partner who got the job done. Erik came and went whenever he had to pay a visit to Bruce. There was a new job that would earn him 1.8 million so Erik wasn't about to let that go. He showed up, dressed in all black and earning many scowls from Bruce's men. Erik could take out that entire room if he wanted to but Bruce paid him so well. Before he could step into his office, a girl opens the door, standing before Erik wearing a pair of tiny denim shorts, a fitted white crop top and her curly fro pulled up into a neat top knot bun. Erik took a cautious step back, fully admiring the girl from head to toe. Sexy as a motherfucker for sure. A little young but not too young.

"You must be Killmonger," She says with no regard. “How do you know who the fuck I am?”

“My father was saying something about you looking after me since my favorite bodyguard got shot and killed a week back. He told me to pick and I chose you.”

This didn’t sound like it involved earning 1.8 million dollars. This was a damn babysitting job. She was a grown-ass woman, not a kindergartner. 

“Is he in there?” Erik didn’t care that he sounded irritated. He came to put a few bullets in somebody not play house. 

“Yeah, he’s smoking his cigars,” His daughter looked at Erik very closely, an attitude on her face. Erik wanted to grab her little ass up and fix that face for her but this was his boss's daughter. He swallowed his pride, for now, giving her one final look before stepping into her father's office. 

Sure enough, the 1.8 million was for watching over Y/N for him while he left town for 48 hours. Bruce told him that he only trusted Erik to get the job done because he knew Erik could hold his own and do what he’s supposed to do better than his other men. Everything Bruce said was true but Erik could be earning his money in a more meaningful way. And by meaningful that means killing. But, Y/N’s safety is important and Erik wouldn’t be able to live with her death on his conscious. Bruce left that very night leaving Erik in his Miami estate alone minus the two guards who kept watch from the outside of the house. 

Erik made himself comfortable in a guest bedroom, staring angrily at his weapon bag that would not be put to use. A knock came to his room door, Erik getting up to open it. Y/N was the source of the knock. She had on a tight and short strapless body con dress colored baby blue with some rather scandalous heels on her feet and hair out in a cute curly fro. She was looking...real good. She had those titties all out, curves on display for any hungry nigga to hound her. Shit didn't make no sense how sexy Bruce's daughter was. Last time Erik had been with a woman was over three months ago

"I wanna go out." "Girl, I'm not taking your ass nowhere. Bruce said to keep you home since shit is popping off." She kissed her teeth, "So you mean to tell me, I got all dressed up for nothing?" Erik shrugs, "Ain't my problem, ma. I'm not tryna play hero and keep you safe in the middle of a shoot out. I need you as far away from that shit as possible." She was really pissed off with Erik. Her pretty round face was all scrunched up, arms folded and a pout on her lips. "I really thought you would be the chill one out of all my dad's old ass bodyguards but nope you're the same. Just as boring and annoying." She had a lot of mouth on her. Erik narrows his eyes at her, nostrils flared and lips set in a hard line. Y/N stepped off a bit, swallowing spit. "You better watch that pretty little mouth of yours before I fuck it." Y/N's jaw was on the floor. She was stunned. Y/N could not believe that Erik just said that to her. He couldn't believe it either but it was in Erik's character to say some shit like that to mouthy little bitches. He had a habit of degrading them by fucking their mouths until they gagged. Bruce's daughter may have an attitude but she wasn't used to that kind of treatment, Erik could tell. She probably got a tight as fuck pussy on her too, fuck that shit and feel like you're in some virgin pussy again.

Holy Shit. He was thinking about her pussy. These 48 hours are going to be hard.

"Is this how you talk to all the women you sleep with?" She was curious, leaning in closer to him. She had no respect for Erik's space now. "Don't worry about it. Just go back to your room, take this shit off, and relax, ma. You ain't going nowhere." "Wow," she rolls her eyes, "Remind me to never recommend you to be my new bodyguard again." "You're loss," he gave her a teasing smile. She glared at him, marching away from his door and back to her room. Erik couldn't help but stare at the bounce of her hips. She was very sexy and Bruce wasn't around to reprimand him for checking out his precious daughter.

Back in her room, making sure to slam the double doors shut and kick it for good measure, Y/N marched over to her bed like the brat she is, flopping down on the plush mattress covered in velvet bedding. Her phone was going off the hook too. Her girls were probably wondering where the fuck she was since she told them her bodyguard would be taking her out. Oh well, those plans were over. "Bitch ass, nigga," she complained to herself. Y/N was hoping to get some dick tonight too. An old college friend of hers that her father didn't really approve of but Y/N wanted a piece of was gonna be at that party. Ever since she graduated she hadn't had any dick. That was over a year ago. Her father was really strict with everything she did. Y/N appreciated it because she didn't want to end up like her brothers but at the same time, she wanted freedom. That's why she chose Killmonger. He was younger than her father's other henchmen, Wild from the talks she heard about him when she was being nosy, and he was sexy as fuck. She really thought about flashing him her titties to change his mind but he looked like a no-nonsense type so Y/N didn't try and taunt him. Although, he did taunt her.

Watch that pretty little mouth of yours before I fuck it.

Something stirred within her. The inner freak that had been locked away for so damn long. So he washed bitches mouths out with the dick? Disrespectful bitches got a dick in their mouths, huh? She liked that. She liked that a lot. He was so large compared to her. Definitely a Daddy for sure. Y/N would call Killmonger Daddy while he fucked her tight pussy. She just knew he had a big dick. None of the condoms she had would fit him. He'd have to pull out when he was about to cum.

If the condoms can't fit him, will his dick fit in me?

She couldn't help but let that thought cross her mind. Look at Y/N, thinking about fucking her dad's hitman. He was a murderer. Any other chick would be scared but Y/N... she wasn't a scaredy-cat at all. She'd be a big girl and fuck Killmonger. Killer and all. She wanted to see his guns...big guns plus a big dick would surely have Y/N on her knees or giving up the pussy.

"Fuck, I can't believe myself." She laughs, running her fingers over her heated flesh. Lord, she was horny now and ready to cum. Y/N lifts her dress up, body arched over the edge of the bed. She picks up a mirror from her side table that she used earlier to check her makeup, aiming it at her pussy from the back. She takes her other hand, pulling her panties down to see just how much of a mess she created from thinking about Killmonger. Sure enough, when she used her thumb to pull her panties to the side, a long string of nectar was connected to her panties from her phat pussy lips. She took in a sharp breath before releasing it longingly. Her pussy was so damn phat and wet right now thinking about him. "Killmonger, look what you did to me," she was so fucking horny. Y/N takes her fingers, pulling her lips apart, watching all that pink she has pop out and contrast beautifully against the brown of her outer lips. She tweaked her clit, a shiver running down her spine. Y/N starts popping her ass, watching all that slimy wet connect like her own personal glue to her pussy lips and her fingers. She'd never been this damn wet in her life. "Fuck," she moans, lifting up onto her knees to remove her dress. Fuck this shit, she needed to play with herself. Fully naked, Y/N gets off the bed, practically skipping over to her walk-in closet to retrieve her favorite pink dildo. This called for a squirt or two...maybe three. Just the thought of him being in a room down the hall probably wearing nothing right now or cleaning his guns made her shudder. She found her baby, kissing it before walking back to her bed. She grabbed her MacBook, a porn tab already up from the last video she watched. Y/N liked to watch black women masturbate, making themselves cream and squirt. She needed a video of a woman with a whole lot of ass getting drilled from behind this time around. She found her favorite, noticing the butt plug that the woman had and wishing she had one too. She likes anal.

Erik was freshly showered and dressed in a pair of black linen lounge pants that rested low on his hips. He did a lazy towel job on his body, water still dripping down the middle of his spine and on his chest. He was doing exactly what Y/N guessed; cleaning his guns. His favorite gun; a personalized Smith & Wesson. He still had a little blood around the barrel from his last job back in Germany. Unable to help himself, Erik kept thinking about Y/N and how he deprived her of going out. She was definitely grown and here he was making decisions for her like she was his daughter. He really didn't need the girl to go complaining to her father about Erik, making some shit up to mess up his money flow. Tossing his gun down, Erik looked up at himself in the mirror, his mind in a turmoil. With a risky decision, he decided to leave and go talk to the girl. Hopefully, turn the conversation around so that she could see his point of view. He left his room, walking within the dark hall of the estate to what he guessed was Y/N's room. It wasn't hard to find, her room was the only room with a glow of light coming from it. His footsteps were silent against the plush carpet as he finally stood face to face with the double doors to her bedroom suite. Erik places his fist into the open palm of his other hand, shifting on his bare feet to gather himself before knocking. Before he could, a wail came from her room. He froze, straining his ears to hear the sound again. Sure enough, the sound came back again, only this time, louder. Shit, if he was in his room, he'd probably hear it. Throwing caution to the wind, Erik grabs both handles, opening the door to see if she was okay. After all, he was ordered to protect her. The second he entered that room he wished he hadn't. Maybe he was lying to himself but the sheer embarrassment on Y/N's face made him feel guilty and ready to run from the estate altogether. Facedown, ass up, Y/N was thrusting a dildo into her pussy from the back while rubbing her clit. She was moaning and crying from how good her pussy felt before Erik disrupted her playtime. Her MacBook was opened, a compilation video of ebony women squirting and cumming all over the place. The cum loads from these women alone were massive and it stole Erik's attention for sure. He would buss a nut to the shit too. He even heard Killmonger roll off her tongue before she noticed him. Y/N's body rolled off of the bed, charging towards Erik with wide eyes before shoving his heavy body out of her room, slamming her doors shut. The sound echoed down the hall. Erik stood there, staring at those damn doors with shock. His mouth was hanging open, mind unable to unsee what he just saw. Erik heard silence now on the other side of the door, his hand coming up to knock softly. "Y/N, you decent now?" He asked. "Go awayyyyyyy Killmonger!" She sounded like she was crying. Damn, he embarrassed the hell out of her for opening those doors. "Don't you know how to fucking knock?!" "Yeah, I just thought some shit was happening to you...not...this..." "Wow," she was sniffling, "something was about to happen to me until you showed up!" She groaned loudly, probably yanking her hair too. "This is definitely not happening to me right now." Erik wanted to comfort her, reassure her that he was absolutely sorry for barging into her private moment like that. He wanted to say that to her but the slyness inside of him was happy he saw what he saw. She was a little freak. Cumming to other bitches cumming. He wanted to know what else she watched. If only she wasn't embarrassed and asked him to come and join her he would find out for himself while his dick was deep in that pussy. Speaking of pussy she had a nice phat wet puss. Her pussy creamed all over that neon pink dildo that she was thrusting in and out of that twat. He turned his back on the door, struggling if he should stay or go. Fuck, he really wanted to stay and finish what he messed up. He'd give anything to see that little pussy cum. His dick was bobbing up and down in his linen pants. Erik looked down at his crotch within the darkness, lips all poked out and eyes low while he stared at his dick twitching and knocking against the crotch of his pants. That monster wanted to be freed. He placed his face against the door, talking into the crack of the door so she could hear him clearly. "Y/N, please open up, I'm sorry, ma." He tried to sound as sincere as possible to get her to open those doors. His dick was even pressing into the door. The hard surface was the perfect amount of texture on his dick right now. "Erik lets out a soft sigh, "please?" "For what? So you can laugh at me? I don't think so. Go back to your room, asshole." "I said I didn't mean to, how many times do you want me to tell you I'm sorry?!" He was growing angry. His dick was too. He was hard as steel now. "Fuck your sorry. I am so fucking embarrassed right now." "Just open the goddamn door, shit." His begging finally worked. She flung her doors opened, body wrapped in a robe now and hair pulled up into a bun, she had her arms crossed over her chest and a scowl on her face but she could not look into his eyes. He understands she was in a very very open position. Erik didn't like the change but she was still sexy no matter what. He hoped that she would have opened the door naked. "What the fuck is it?" "Watch your mouth talking to me," Erik fires back. "I'll talk to you however I please. My dad is paying you so that means you listen to what I say." She was looking at him now but her voice was shaky. She was so nervous and still very embarrassed. "See, your dad is paying me. Not you. And you listen to what I say, Y/N. I see you ain't leave this fucking house." "Watch I put my dress and heels on and leave right now." "I fucking dare you to try me," Erik was sizing her up now, his body bumping into hers, pushing her further into the room. He was inside again, the sweet smell of her sex around him. She must have been in here cumming back to back. Erik let his eyes linger on the bed. Sure enough, there was a large ass wet spot in the center. "Damn, you did all that?" He couldn't stop himself even if he tried. Y/N covered her face, walking away to use the velvet bedding to hide her mess. "Nah, ain't no shame in that, ma, let it show." She was growing hot again. Her pussy was begging to cum, she was right...there. And in comes this big nigga.

Damn...he actually came in my room

She wanted to rip that robe off and stuff her fingers in her pussy.

"What's wrong now, Y/N?" "You. It's your fault. Just get the fuck out." "So you can moan my name again?" She turns to him slowly, taking him in fully now since he wasn't in that dark hall anymore. His thick dick was standing straight out at her with no regard. Muscles carved into his lean body, tiny raised scars all over him symmetrical. He didn't even hide how horny he was. She was correct, her condoms would not fit around that dick. He would break them bitches before she could even get it down and around him. His big dick ass had her sucking on her bottom lip now to control herself. That inner freak was ready to pounce. "Y/N." Erik was walking up on her now, his dick pressed into her ass. "Shit," she sounds out, looking at him over her shoulder with a roll of her eyes. "You tryna get me in trouble?" He spoke in a low tone. "No. You won't anyway. All surveillance is off in the house except for outside." "Hmm," Erik looked down on her ass cheeks. His dick was in between both of them. "Now why would you do that?" "Because I can." "Because you can," Erik repeated her words. "It's my fucking house." "See...I like you." She was dying to hear those words. At this point, there was no turning back. He was in her bedroom now with his dick between her cheeks. This shit was totally off-limits. "You ain't scared of me?" The touch he gave to her chin made her booty arch into his crotch further. "No. I ain't scared of men like you." "Oh, Forreal?" He was smiling down at her with this glint in his eyes. "I see men like you every day in my house. What makes you any different?" He laughs, "Because I'm not like these men that walk around your father's house. I'm Killmonger, there's a difference. You should know, you chose me, right?" He had a good point. Y/N could tell from jump that he was nothing like the other men. "Yeah, I could see that." "So then ima ask your ass again, you ain't scared of me?" She shakes her head no. "Open your fucking mouth." "NO." She let him know real quick. Erik presses his lips to her ear, "You definitely ain't going nowhere since you so brave, babygirl." What exactly was he referring to? Was he gonna fuck her so good that she would need her meals brought to her bed? "Where's that dildo?" He asked with his eyes still on her. Y/N pointed to the bed, Erik noticing it on her laptop keyboard. "Pick it up." She did, holding it around the fake silicone balls since the rest was so wet and covered in her cream. That fake dick was drenched in her essence. "Suck it off." She gave him a look to challenge his words but Erik gave her a much harder look that had her flinching and popping that dick in her mouth. He watched her suck it, her jaws all sunken in and the cream disappearing. "So that's what that mouth do?" She even licked the balls to catch the bit that spilled there. "How you fuck that pussy?" "With my legs wide open, from the back, and I rode it." "Shit, how you ride it? You did that shit on your tiptoes?" "Yeah, I stuck the suction on that chair right there." Erik looked over in the corner to find an acrylic glitter desk chair. "Bruce little girl is a freak," Erik laughs, "Bought to let her bodyguard hit." "I-you wanna fuck me?" She thought he wanted to fuck her with the dildo, the only dick her pussy really knew not his monstrous dick. "Only if you want me to." "Please." Fuck that dildo. Y/N tossed it back onto the bed, taking off her robe with the quickness. Erik raises both of his brows at that, loving how ready she is to take some dick. She stood before him, nude once again. A nice curvy body with smooth brown skin. Mouthwatering for sure. "Put on another video you like to watch, I wanna see." Y/N went to lay on her belly, ass up and bouncing for Erik to see. He removed his pants, his dick leaking with pre-cum and sticking to his leg. He watched her pull up a video of a sexy couple. The man was eating her pussy, slobbering on that shit. The loud munching sounds had Erik grunting and reaching out to smack Y/N's ass hard. She looked back at him, making her ass shake so he can do it again. Erik gave her what she wanted with his large calloused hands. He was definitely an experienced man for sure. "Get on your back, I'm eating that pussy." She flips over, opening her legs to show Erik all the creamy goodness that spilled from her. She was a goddamn mess down there. He got down between her legs, angling the laptop so he could watch it with her while he ate her pussy. As soon as the man in the video started sucking on his girl's clit, Erik did the same to Y/N. She was so overwhelmed by it that her thighs kept trying to close. Erik took her calves, thrusting them forward so that her toes touched the bed and her pussy and ass were open for him. He went to work on her little ass, his eyes looking from her to that screen. Whenever the guy in the video sucked, Erik sucked. Whenever he French kisses her all over the inside, Erik did too. She was so sloppy on his mouth. Erik was so happy to be eating pussy again that he didn't say a damn word. The only sounds he made were munching, smacking of lips, tongue flicking, and popping of his mouth off her clit and inner folds. Y/N was having a fit. She was trying to watch the action on the laptop but Erik kept pulling her away. He was devouring her slit. Just when she thought she couldn't take anymore he had his fingers thrusting inside of her pussy while sucking on her clit. Three of those fingers. Her eyes rolled, head bobbing back and forth. She had no feeling in her legs left from how big she came on Erik's fingers and tongue. She trembled and trembled. But yet he was still going. "That's enough, Killmonger," she let out a sharp moan. "Stop!!" Before she could push his head away she was squirting. She covered his chest and the bed with all her mess. He pulled his fingers out before sucking on them with his long slippery tongue. Now, he was on his feet, kneeling on the bed. He had one hand around his dick while the other rested over his nuts. "Pull up a dick sucking video." "You do it." She tells him while still trying to recover from the atomic bomb head she just received. Erik leans over her, the smell of the soap he used on his skin surrounding her and causing her to kiss his neck. He didn't complain about that so she continued. Erik pulled up a favorite of his. One where the girl was talking into the camera, begging the nigga to cum on her face. This always had Erik busting a huge nut. "Bring your mouthy ass over here and suck my dick." He ordered. Y/N timidly grabs his dick, jerking it slowly to get a feel of the weight on him. This shit must drag when he walked. "I know it's a lot but you can take it." She kissed the tip of his dick before looking up at him to see if he liked it. "Keep going, I ain't tell you to stop." She wrapped her lips around the tip of his dick now. She sucked softly, little moans coming from her mouth at the same time. "You should see how that little mouth looking right now. You can't even fit me in there." She tried to challenge his words, lowering herself further down his dick. She could only make it to half the dick. Even that was too much for her. "It's okay...relax, ma. Take your time with it." She did her thing, tight pouty lips gliding over him all delicate. He was enjoying the soft way she sucked his pipe. Her spit bubbles around him dripping to her chest caused Erik to grab her curly bun. He started thrusting his hips, Y/N looking up at him with fearful eyes. "Relax, I got you, sweetie," she reached out to stop his hips from moving forward, "I promise I won't go too rough, I promise." She still held her hands on his hips but her mouth relaxed around Erik, allowing him to fuck her mouth at a pace she could tolerate. The sound of her spit building on her tongue and Erik's dick hitting her throat was music. She squeezed her eyes because he got a little too happy, her throat tightening around him. "FUCK, I ain't mean to I swear," He spoke in a hushed tone. He was so damn close to cumming in this girl's mouth. Her tight mouth. "Damn, your lips so tight." His eyes fluttered. She felt like the side of her lips would split in half from how thick he was becoming. She tried to open up wider but there was no use. Y/N breathed through her nose, allowing Erik to finish off. He was a challenge for her. "Shit-shit-take it, take all this dick!" The minute his cum hit her throat she gagged, Erik holding her in place so he could finish out within her mouth. He pulled out, his dick bouncing in her face and the last bits of his cum shooting onto her cheek. She looked so shocked at his action. Her fingers went up to scoop it up and into her mouth. "You are such a big girl. Did so well for Daddy." "You cum a lot, Killmonger." "You like that, don't you?" "Yes." Erik bit his lip, "get on your back, ima fuck the shit outta you." Y/N got onto her back but she didn't want it like that. She wanted him to fuck her from the back. She wanted to see how it felt taking his generous dick with her ass in the air. "What's wrong now Y/N," Erik spoke with annoyance. "I want you to fuck me from the back." "...see, I don't know if you can take it like that yet, ma. You'll feel me in your stomach if I do that." "So," Y/N turned around, arching her back, reaching behind her to pull her pussy lips apart. "Is it still too much?" She teased. This was how she imagined Erik would fuck her when he walked in. He might as well take her pussy like this. "Shit ain't too much for me, this dick gonna be too much for you. But since you such a hard-headed bitch Ima give you what you want." Erik fixes her arch. She thought she was positioned the right way. Nope, Erik needs her face and shoulders pressed into the bed with her ass angled all the way up to where Erik could have a deeper thrust. She looked back at him, nibbling on her fingers to calm herself. "You looking real nervous for a chick who ain't afraid." Erik beat his dick on her clit. "I'm not afraid." She spoke softly. Erik didn't have anything more to say to her. He grabs his dick, bringing it to her velvety hole and sinking it right in. He didn't give Y/N time to think. He was all the way inside of her. Erik got in her pussy in one clean motion. She had her eyes closed briefly before opening them to show Erik how watery they were. She thugged it out and Erik was impressed, for now. He was frozen, his dick still buried. "Y/N." "I'm good," she was ready. "Bet." Erik pulled out to the tip of his dick, his eyes watching the muscles in her back flex. She was spread wide for him. He thrust back in swiftly, his balls hitting her clit. That sensation had Y/N whispering something into the crease of her arm. Probably saying how good and thick his dick is. "Faster," she begged. Erik built up speed, her ass making that sound he loved whenever he fucked bitches from the back. She was clapping all over him. Y/N felt it in her belly. It was something she couldn't really feel with her dildo. "OhmyGod!" She screams. Her hands reached out in front of her to grab hold of the cum stained sheets, balling it up with her fists. Erik was beating the breaks off her pussy at this point. He would grunt and moan real low but Y/N could hear it. "Killmonger, you're stretching me!" He slowed down, before picking up the pace some more. The shit was amazing. She was wrapped around his dick perfectly. "You gonna make me bust early in this pussy, girl! look at this pussy, loving all this dick I'm giving her!" She likes that he referred to her pussy as "her" it made her attempt to throw it back on him but her hips were so weak. "OhmiiGod you're so big!" She cried. Erik gave Y/N a thunderous slap to her ass before grabbing her shoulders to pound into her some more. Her head fell forward, moans and groans stuck in her throat. "I got you arched over this dick, girl," she tried to move but Erik was right there with her, "Stop it, ma. You were doing so well. Daddy was proud of you for taking this dick." "It's just so deep." "I told you, didn't I? It's too late now I like fucking you like this." She was in his control. Y/N's pussy leaked so much on his dick she couldn't keep count. It was so sensitive to his long and fat dick. It's because he's so big and she's so tight. "Fuck, you're tearing my pussy up!" Erik pulls out, Y/N's juices following right behind him and onto the bed. She flips over, bringing her legs up for Erik to grab. "You don't waste no time," He says in a teasing manner. Erik takes her calves again, stretching them all the way back so her toes could touch the bed. "Such a nasty girl with this pussy spread open for me." His dick was inside of her again. She watched with pure bliss to the point of tears. He was doing push-ups in her pussy. Erik moves his hips in a circular motion creating a new sensation inside of her that had Y/N's toes curling. "Wet pussy, I fucking love it." "Yes!" She had her hands on Erik's hips, pulling him further inside of her like he wasn't already deep. "Shit," He looked down at her, "grab my nuts, squeeze them." She did, squeezing and massaging them. Erik was no more good. "Now you're squeezing my dick and nuts. Getting all of me tonight, huh?" "Fuck yeah." "You gonna let me cum all over this pussy?" "Yes, Daddy." "You gonna let me cum all over this good pussy?" "Yes, Daddy." "You fucking better!-shit, mmhmm Ima give you what you want, fuck, girl you got me cumming!" Erik shot thick ropes of cum onto Y/N's phat pussy lips. Y/N reached between them to stroke him, more cum shooting out and onto her belly. The feeling was too much. This girl was covered in his cum. Pussy looking like a cream pie. Y/N rubbed it between her folds before taking her fingers to suck on. "Can you stay the night with me?" She asked between sucking. Erik gave her a sly smile before shaking his head, "I don't think so, ma. I already fucked up coming in here. Thank God you disabled the surveillance in the house. I ain't tryna die because I fucked my boss's daughter." "Please?" "Only until you fall asleep." "Fine." Erik puts his pants on, watching Y/N get up from the bed to change her sheets. "Ima go check my phone to see if your dad tried to get in contact with me." "Okay," Y/N watched Erik leave the room and down the dark hall. She wanted to squeal, jump for joy, dance, anything to express her excitement. That was the most memorable sex she's ever had. It's sad that it had to be because of this sticky situation but she didn't regret it all. Now she didn't want her father to return home for a while. If she could get some dick from Killmonger she'd be more than happy. Fuck spending time with her friends, there was an entire estate for her and Erik to have fun in. She placed her sheets in a hamper before returning with fresh ones. Erik was back in her room now, closing the door. "I had a talk with your Father." Y/N's heart sank, Erik laughing at her expression. "You gotta learn to relax, Y/N. All he said was that his trip is gonna have to be extended another six days." "Six days?!" She closed her eyes, Erik laughing at her excitement. "Yeah, some shit about business running slower than usual. Plus, he had to off a few lousy men so he might come home short two henchmen." "So, what does that mean for you?" "That means I'm 2 million dollars richer." "You're still gonna watch over me?" Erik couldn't help but give Y/N his lady killer smile. She blushes, turning to put on her robe. "Yeah, you don't plan on telling Bruce that you don't like me as a bodyguard, right?" "I only said that because you didn't let me go out!" Y/N argued back. "But now you want me around," Erik licks his lips, "I gave you some dick now you want me to stay." He didn't have to put it like that but it was halfway true. Y/N wasn't going to say anything to Bruce about Killmonger. "Killmonger, you have good dick, okay? Now, stay the night with me, please?" She gave him her best pout and innocent eyes. "You are really gonna get me in trouble."

@tgigoldie @soufcakmistress @chefjessypooh @chaneajoyyy @pananegra@theblulife @becincere @blaqwidow91 @fish-outta-watah @moonlight-night-sky @eyeknowmywrites  @crowngold @njadakillthiscookie @blktinkerbell@luvanxi @sheisexcellent1 @chocolatedippedinhoney  @brandithecrystalgem@dababydababydababydababy @soulfulbeauty19 @btitannaaa@sunkissedebony97 @youngblackndgifted @harleycativy @rbhp @thee-germanpeach @thadelightfulone @bugngiz @palmstreesallday@skylahb @bakaris-shorty @nizzle-mo​ 

[mst3kproject]

Atomic Rulers

 So 2020 fucking blows.  We’ve got Death and Pestilence all over the place, War is waiting in the wings licking her chops, and I’m sure Famine is only a matter of time.  You know what we need?  A hero. Operator, put me through to the Emerald Planet!  After fifty-five years, the Earth must once again call upon Star Man.

(I apologize for the poor quality screencaps in this review.  The WiFi at sea is not great, so I’m watching movies on YouTube in decidedly low definition. I’ll replace them with better ones if I ever get out of here.)

Atomic Rulers, also sometimes known as Atomic Rulers of the World, is actually the first Star Man movie.  Does that mean we get an origin story for our brave hero?  Of course not.  Instead, we learn that the evil nation of… uh… a sign in the movie says Merapolia but the dubbing sounds like Magolia... whatever. Their nuclear testing is starting to contaminate Outer Space and the Emerald Men don’t like that – they send Star Man to Earth to do something about it.

This movie gives us two things none of the other Star Man movies do.  First of all, there’s an actual purpose to that ‘globemeter’ watch thingy he wears. The opening of every movie explains that the globemeter allows Star Man to do three things: travel through outer space, speak and understand any language, and detect sources of radioactivity. The first two functions have proven to be very useful, but neither the Salamander Men nor Ballazar’s Brain were radioactive, so the third just sat there like the stocks app on an iPhone.  Now, with the threat of concealed Magolian nuclear weapons, he finally uses it!

The second is, holy shit, a plot.  The Magolians want to rule the world, and aliens from a dozen different Godzilla movies have assured them that when conquering the Earth, you have to start with Japan.  To that end, their agents are sneaking atomic weapons into the country. Star-Man tries to confiscate these, and in the midst of the lame-ass fight scene that follows, the Magolian Bag-O-Nukes is carried off by a bunch of annoying little kids!  The Magolians kidnap one of the kids and try to force him to tell them where their bomb is.  Star-Man rescues the boy, but it’s too late – they’ve already retrieved the bomb.  There’s just a few hours left before Japan must surrender, or be blown to bits as an example to the rest of the world!

There’s actually even more to the plot than that. It’s full of wild twists and turns, with Star Man and the Magolians taking turns looking like they’re about to win the day.  Yet at the same time, unlike the other Star Man films, the story is not obviously bifurcated!  You can tell where Movie One ends and Movie Two begins (with the rescue of the kidnapped kid), but the same characters are involved throughout rather than changing from reel to reel.  Even the gaggle of nameless kids in short-shorts kind of play a role in the plot, helping Star Man and giving information to the police whenever they can. The plot unspools in a single main storyline from beginning to end, and events usually make enough sense that you can figure out where they fit.

Even more shockingly, Star Man himself actually has some personality in this film, even a bit of a character arc.  In the other movies he just ran around punching aliens and smiling at children, but here we see him as a bit of an arrogant dick, confident in his ability to beat the mere humans who represent the threat to the universe.  When he is nearly beaten instead, he is forced to learn a little humility, and nearly sacrifices his life to save a hostage.

By leaps and bounds, then, this is the best Star Man movie I’ve seen.  There’s a couple more out there, but they’d have to work hard to be better than Atomic Rulers.  At the same time, as praise goes ‘the best Star Man movie’ is almost as faint as ‘the best Coleman Francis movie’.  It still sucks big-time, and Mike and the bots would have had riff material to spare.

I mean, this is a movie where the bad guys have a giant cartoon demon face on the wall of their lair for some reason, and when they’re not disguised in blazers and ties they wear coronavirus suits with the same face on the chest.  There’s a bit where Star Man swordfights with a bunch of them, using fencing foils that were just lying around in the room for some reason.  Other fight scenes are mostly things like Magolians frantically shooting at Star Man while he just stands there looking smug. The ‘atomic core’ MacGuffin is just a plastic tube full of glitter.  The back-projected ‘flying’ effects are dire.  There’s a bomb that has a literal clock on the side ticking down the minutes like in an old cartoon.  There’s a pretty girl strapped into a death trap that I can only describe as the world’s slowest guillotine.

There’s a fairly extended sequence in which we see the Magolians’ car driving down a road, then cut to Star-Man flying, then back to the car, then back to Star Man, then back to the car, and on and on until I could almost hear Crow shouting “he’s following them!  We get it!”

The Magolians themselves confuse me a bit. People refer to their embassy and their ambassadors, and there’s a flag on their car and so forth, so I’m pretty sure they’re supposed to be from a country on Earth… and yet they behave exactly like the villains of a Japanese alien invasion movie.  They have dumb costumes, they call the guy in charge ‘supreme leader’, and most distracting of all, they refer to conquering ‘the Earth’.  Maybe this is just an artifact of the translation, but I would expect humans to talk about ruling ‘the world’ rather than ‘the Earth’.  It left me expecting a big reveal at the end, and when there wasn’t one, I had to go back to the beginning to see if they’d been established as aliens and I’d missed it.

Speaking of possible artifacts of translation, there’s another thing here I’m not sure about.  A lot of Japanese ‘no nukes’ movies have American antagonists, or at least, white guys who are clearly a stand-in for Americans.  My favourite example is the belligerent country of Rolisica in Mothra, which is an absolutely hilarious summary of what 60’s Japan thought the West was like.  Magolia, on the other hand, appears to be a stand-in for the USSR.  The actors playing the Magolians are mostly white, and we only ever hear two of their names: the supreme leader has a nonsense name, but the ambassador is called Boris Zedenko.  I wonder if this is original to the script, or whether it was changed when the movie was dubbed for American release.

The thing I find most interesting about Atomic Rulers is that while Star Man does save the Earth, that’s not really his goal.  The Emerald Men sent him here to prevent a war because Earth’s radioactivity was leaking into outer space, threatening other planets.  Star Man isn’t here to save humanity, he’s here to save the rest of the universe from us; saving us from ourselves is merely a side-effect.

This makes Star-Man a little different from his imitators, Space Chief and Prince of Space.  Despite their space-themed code-names, they are humans from Earth, with a specific interest in protecting this planet.  Star-Man seems to have the broader responsibility of protecting the civilized galaxy in general, and this is reflected in the premises of his movies. In Evil Brain from Outer Space, Ballazar’s Brain is using Earth as a place to launch a general takeover of the universe. Invasion from Space was a little less clear about it, but I’m pretty sure there was something about the Earth being ‘the richest planet in the galaxy’ and the Salamander Men would presumably use that loot for nefarious purposes.

A side implication here is that Star-Man probably has other adventures, too – we’re only seeing the ones that happen to bring him to our particular planet.  Considering how strange Star-Man movies can be anyway, and how trippy the brief shot of the Emerald Planet, with its crystal-headed creatures and robots and even a couple of what appear to be the Pairans from Warning from Space, one has to wonder about these potential non-Earth storylines.  How fucking weird would those be?  I’m imagining something like an entire movie about Krankor’s pet giant.

Another thing that distinguishes Star Man from the other space dinks is that he has actual superpowers.  Space Chief and Prince of Space are basically just normal guys in stupid outfits.  Prince of Space claims that Krankor’s ray guns have no effect on him, but really we see he’s using his wand-thing to deflect them.  Star Man, who is from another planet, can fly and has super-strength. This kind of makes me wonder if he was intended as a Superman imitator… but that would make Space Chief and Prince of Space the equivalent of Batman, and I just can’t insult Batman like that.

I am developing an honest affection for Star Man movies.  Their desperate cheapness is more than made up for by their over-the-top absurdity, and the result is not at all ‘good’ by any reasonable measure and yet is always entertaining.  Camp like that is all too rare to find, and even rarer to find a franchise like Gamera or Star Man that can do it dependably.  I don’t know why the Japanese are apparently so good at this, but I’m glad somebody is.

[living-dead-parker]

Movies and Karaoke - p.p

Summary: Science squad has another fun sleepover full of movies and karaoke.

Warnings: cussing, underage drinking, killer klowns from outer space spoilers (but that movie came out in the 80s so.......that’s on you lmao), some emo shit at some point. 

Word Count: 2.9k (i wanted to make her a big one bc i love science squad prompts ngl so plz send more ideas. Anything really) 

Did I go back and watch KKFOS from beginning to end just to add all my important commentary I actually made while watching the movie? You bet your sweet ass I did. Do I regret it? Only slightly! Civil War through FFH never happened but Morgan exists and so does the science squad bc no one can stop me from disregarding canon!!

"It's my turn to pick the first movie!" Shuri yells at Harley and ripping the control out of his hand, causing the kid to nearly scream. The girl casts a playful glare towards Harley, making the kid damn near shit himself on the spot. From the corner, Ned giggles, watching the whole thing go down. However, when the door swings open, Ned's head snaps in that direction.

"Shuri," MJ's soft voice calls out, soft yet firm with a tint of humor. She's seen entering the room with blankets and pillows in her arms.  "Bring it down, you're scaring the boy."

Shuri drops the remote control onto the coffee table in front of her. The princess leans back on the large couch, pouting as she crosses her arms over her chest. It is supposed to be her turn. It was Ned's last time, to now it's her turn. But whatever. Instead, she just stares at the black screen in front of her, contemplating her life up until this point. However, not too long after, they hear the door to the in-home theater swinging open, revealing you and Peter with snacks and drinks in your hands.

Shuri and Harley's eyes widen as they look at all the snacks. Bags of skittles, six boxes of pizzas, boxes and boxes of cookies, packs of juice and some water, and lots of other things among that. However, their eyes drift over to the two twelve-pack boxes of hard lemonade that Peter holds in his hands. A gift from uncle Rhodey because he knows how teens can be and he'd rather you do it among trusted friends at home than getting it off some stranger on the streets. Plus, he trusts you and MJ to be responsible about it while still having fun. Plus, it's like four per kid, so it's not gonna do much to any of you.

"Alright, Shuri," you call out as you and Peter begin setting things up. MJ begins setting up the blankets and pillows as well.

You'd invited your friends over for a sleepover, one of the many you have over the course of the year. You'd all settled for a movie night, not wanting to go out anywhere really. The last time you'd had a sleepover, Ned picked the first movie and it would rotate from there. The sleepover usually lasts all weekend, from Friday evening to Sunday evening. Enough time to wreak havoc on everybody at the tower and have the time of your lives. It's Friday night and you're ready for a long night of movies and messing around. It made the most sense to use the in-home theater that your father had installed into the tower; it's spacious, it has the best screen with surround sound which makes movies, karaoke, and video games so much more enjoyable. It's all and all, extremely fun.

As you finish setting up the snacks, you see Harley moving to the back of the room to tone down the lights as Shuri turns on the screen, revealing the home screen for Killer Klowns From Outer Space. You all turn to look at her, casting playful glares in her direction. The only one who did not was Peter.

"Absolutely not," Harley calls out first. He shakes his head, sounding completely unenthralled. You giggle, nodding along. "This movie is so bad!" he exclaims.

"I kind of wanna watch it," Peter cuts in. You all turn to him now, giving him the glare. "I've never seen it-"

"You," you cut him off, taking a step closer to him. "Of all people, have not seen Killer Klowns? Mr. I'm constantly watching movies from the 80s, has not seen Killer Klowns?"

"I've been meaning to," Peter defends himself, looking over at everyone else. They're all still glaring at him, though it's all playful. "I see it everywhere, but I just never get to it, ya know?"

With that, you all sit down, ultimately agreeing to watch it. Harley shoots up in his spot once again, running to turn off the lights completely. When he sits back down, Shuri presses play and the movie begins. It starts off and everybody seems to sing along to the theme song at the beginning. Arguably one of the most wasted songs ever, because it's so good for such a bad movie. But who cares, ya know? However, the movie reaches the point where they introduce the two teenage characters in the makeout area.

"Why would people actively choose to go to a place like that to makeout in groups?" Peter asks. "Like, hey I'm gonna take my girlfriend out to this isolated place where there are already like ten other couple making out or having sex in this exact spot already?"

"Some people are just voyeurs," MJ cuts in, shrugging lights before wrapping an arm around Shuri. Peter hums in response. "Plus that doesn't happen much nowadays."

Suddenly, an ice cream truck drives into the area where all the teens are making out, and over the com, one of the drivers says;

"We'll give you the stick, you give it a lick, and it'll tickle you all the way down,"

Peter chuckles and without thinking it through he says; "That's what I say to Y/N w-"

"Peter!"

His eyes go wide as you all yell at him. You lightly smack his arm, moving away from him slightly as he giggles about it. They all glare at him again before turning back to the movie. After that, not many comments are made until the two main teen characters discover the tent where the clowns are. As the guy pressures the girl to go into the tent, you speak up.

"I've said this before and I'll say it again," you start, hearing Peter chuckle as he wraps his arms around you again. "If Deb was a lesbian or was with a girl, at least, she would not be there and she would be safe."

"Explain." quips Harley.

"Boys are dumb and if Deb was with a girl, the other girl would agree and they'd run away rather than run to the tent," you respond. Shuri and MJ nod, giving you the lesbian seal of approval for that opinion.

"What if it was me asking you to go in with me?" Peter asks.

"Well, I'd maybe consider it, but that's because I have my dad's tech to save me and I'd have Spider-Man with me, so we could easily fight these clowns off. They don't want this smoke," you explain. "However, if it was pre-bite you, then no, I would leave you on your own and run away if you wanted to go in."

"Fair enough."

With that, the discussions stop for a while. Until the scene where the clowns are loose in the city and going door to door killing people. When they ring the doorbell at the first door to reveal a blonde woman in a slip dress with a glass in her hand, pretending to deliver her some pizza.

"Pizza?" she asks. Peter turns to look at you, confusion in his eyes.

"Are-are they going to-"

"Clap her cheeks?" you all respond at the same time, noticing how it can look like the start to a bad porn video. Except, it's a horror movie instead. When they zap her, Peter almost gasps. Was he expecting it to happen? "My take is that if they just did clap her cheeks, they'd realize that they don't need to kill people and they just need some coochie or something. Plus she was cute, so if I was one of them I would have done it, but there's a reason why they're clowns."

Once more, the commentary became little to none until another wild scene much later in the movie. At this point, Dave the cop and Mike -Debbie's boyfriend- are in a playhouse looking for Debbie. The two guys that walked in with them and got lost inside a ball pit, one meant to be a jacuzzi or hot tub of some sort. As the camera pans out, it reveals two clowns, and when the camera turns to face them, it reveals that they're female clowns. As the camera pans out on them once more, it shows their clown boobs inflating.

"Holy shit," Peter screams, causing everyone to laugh. "Screw anime girl tiddies," he continues, making MJ and Ned snort, meanwhile Shuri spits out her drink. "Clown girl tiddies are where it's at!"

You lightly smack his arm, glaring at him once more. Though the room is dark, you can see him lightly blushing in embarrassment. Eventually, the movie comes to an end and Harley is quick to turn the lights on.  Suddenly, over the speakers in the room, you hear Harley speaking up.

"Hey guys, welcome to my show," he speaks into the karaoke mic. When he plugged it in, you're not sure, but the suddenness of it made it funnier. Harley steps in front of everyone and looks over at all of you. "So I'm no comedian but for tonight I am," he continues, earning a fake chuckle from Ned. What a supportive boyfriend. "So, we watched Killer Klowns From Outer Space, right? Well, you know who the real clowns were?"

"Who?" you all ask.

"Us, for even watching it in the first place."

That got a genuine laugh out of all of you. Even Peter was laughing genuinely at the joke, mostly since he's the biggest clown of all for wanting to watch it. Harley bows after his jokes land. He sets the mic down as MJ stands and walks over to the mic. She picks up the mic and looks over at everyone.

"Peter and Harley," she calls out. The two perk up, waiting for something else. "That's it, that's the joke."

"Hey, we should do karaoke before we pick the next movie!" Ned exclaims, his eyes wide with hopeful excitement. You all look at him, not being able to deny him his karaoke. Plus, you love karaoke. It's his thing, not many people can say no to him. He's the charmer of the group, often convincing people to get his way. You are the mom friend in terms of getting them out of certain situations and funding all the craziness as well as physically taking care of them. MJ is the intimidating mom friend, though she uses her intimidation on other people to get everyone out of a different kind of trouble. Shuri is the intimidating and hectic person who tends to get you all into some kind of trouble, but she knows how to cover it up, so there's always some close run-ins. She's the group clown. Peter and Harley are equally the punching bags of the group and they are also the bigger trouble makers. However, they're also the practical geniuses who can make anything out of a paper clip under intense pressure. However, Peter is the brawn while Harley is just not afraid of Tony, so he just barges in and does what he want to get out of trouble. All in all, no one can really say no to Ned.

"Alright, let's do this, you're up first bud," you tell Ned. He excitedly jumps up and stands up in the front as you turn the screen back on. You exit the movie and open up a karaoke program you'd bought that allowed for all sorts of high-quality music. You pull out a notebook from a cabinet in the room with a pen as well. At the top, you write the word 'queue' and make a list. "Come tell me your songs so I can start up a queue."

Everyone walks over to you one by one, telling you their songs and you just write them down. At the end of it, you have a queue of about twenty songs. So with that, you type in the first song that Ned chose. Africa by Toto.

You lean forward in your seat, grabbing one of the hard lemonades. No one seemed to grab any up until you did. Everyone grabbed one, as the song began. As Ned sings, you continue making the queue of songs until they've all been put in and you can sit back and watch. After Ned finishes singing, Peter jumps up and takes the mic. His song begins to play, making everyone laugh.

"Gotta take a little time," he begins, faking a raspy voice. He moves around the room, humming and singing along until the song reaches its chorus. He kneels in front of you, hand reaching out for you. His eyes are screwed shut and everyone's phones are recording you two. "I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me!"

You playfully push him and he lands on his back. Everyone laughs, stopping their recordings to post them somewhere. You giggle when Peter stands back up, moving over to Ned and deciding to sing to him instead. Once his song ends, Shuri jumps up and takes over the mic. The song begins, revealing Africa by Toto.

"I hear the drums echoing," Shuri sings, exaggerating her accent this time. She dances around, singing the whole song in an exaggerated accent. When she finished her song, MJ jumps up and takes over. Total Eclipse of the Heart. Except, every 'turn around' was replaces with 'suck my dick' and the phrase 'total eclipse of the heart' was replaced with 'total eclipse of the fart'. Not something you expected, but it had to be the best performance so far. Harley was the next to jump up and take over.

"I made it through the world a mess," he sings in a high-pitched voice. He sings the whole song to Ned and eventually, he reaches Ned, deciding to sit on his lap. "Like a virgin," he sings "touched for the very first time!" he practically moans rather than sings this time. This continues for the whole song, with Harley singing rather provocatively and dancing in a similar manner on Ned. At one point, Harley even threw himself onto Ned from behind the couch, he claims it was on purpose but everyone knew it was an accident. Once more, as Harley's song ended, you took over.

"We're gonna get a little emo here," you explain. The song begins after a short pause. They all look at you with big smiles. However, to add to the feel, you attach the karaoke mic to its stand and you tilt the stand over, standing over it dramatically like every rock star tends to do. You lean into the mic and begin. "Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine."

They all join in on singing with you. The loudness of it all attracts some newcomers into the room. You don't notice it until Wanda, Bucky, Steve, Sam, Natasha, Pepper, and your dad are all in the room, watching you headbang and scream to the song. The other five all jump up, turning on the other mic and sharing it as they sing along.

"It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss!" you all scream. You all jump around in unison throughout the whole song, none of you noticed how all the adults seem to have their phones out recording as well.  "Open up my eager eyes, cuz I'm Mr. Brightside!"

When the song comes to an end, you're all giggling and laughing as you hand the mic back to Ned. Before you can all process all the heroes in the room, Ned's song is starting up now. It was weird how every other song after seemed to be emo as well.

"Check yes Juliet, are you with me?" he sings along once the song begins. You're the next to jump up and join him. "Run baby run, don't ever look back!" you sing to each other.

Song after song, you all joined along and sang and danced together. However, once the karaoke stuff was over, and all the adults had left the room, another movie was being put on. It seemed almost unanimous, and the movie selected was the Nightmare Before Christmas. Everyone was tired now, so you all cuddled up on the couches. On the bigger couch in the back lies Ned with Harley nestled into his side. On the front right couch lies Shuri with her head on one side, Michelle with her head on the other side. On the front left couch, you lie up against the back of the couch as big spoon while Peter lies down next to you as little spoon.

Halfway through the movie, Tony follows a sleepy Morgan into the theater room. The little girl remains unaware of her father following in her footsteps. Tony felt her stir in bed and so he decided to check what the hell that was all about. He's about to ask her what she's doing but he stops himself when he sees all the sleeping teens. He watches the small girl scan the room, perking up when she sees you and Peter on one of the big couches. Tony watches as Morgan shakes her big sister's arm until you wake up. He watches you groggily pick the girl up, scooting closer to the back of the large couch, and squeezing her in. He notices Peter shift around before resting his arm over the two girls. He smiles rather fondly and has FRIDAY take a picture of the room, making sure to add a reminder to send the pictures to everyone in the morning.

Send in asks, requests, and feedback!!

[ian-the-existential-crisis]

We Can Still Be Friends (For Anon)

There is always a brief moment when destiny, fate, whatever the fuck they called it kicked in. And in that moment, time slowed almost to a stop, the world became colorful, and the only things that could be heard were the chirping birds, the beat of his own heart, and the sudden this or the arrow that embedded itself in the center of the target.

Bakugou couldn't say what made him look over in that moment. He had passed the archery club many times on his team's daily runs. But his red eyes wandered over.

In that moment, everything stopped. But at the same time, everything had just begun. Sure it didn't make sense. Bakugou blamed the high summer sun for beating down on him. It was making his head go all weird. Or maybe it was that iffy bottle of water his redheaded friend, Kirishima, had given him before they started running.

Whatever it was, it made his body move against his will. Stupid body!

He couldn't help it. He moved close enough to grab the chain link fence. There was another this and his heart fluttered. The sound of the string snapping into place made him actually look at the archer.

He was thin, short, with childishly big green eyes, and wild green hair to match. He felt familiar but Bakugou couldn't place it. He was probably just imagining things. But looking at this guy made his heart flutter. Damn, why did the sky look so bright?

His fingers tightened around the chain. He could hear the string being pulled back again. Those intoxicating green eyes calm and unwavering.

"Bakugou?" He felt a hand on his shoulder.

The spell was broken. Colors no longer flooded his senses. The faint noise of the arrow hitting the target didn't faze him. His red eyes easily pulled away from the archery club member.

"What?" He barked.

"Woah, easy there." It was Kirishima. Of course it was Kirishima who had ruined that moment. He held up his tanned hands, as if they would grant him any protection from Bakugou's next verbal onslaught. "You just kind of stopped. I didn't realize you liked to watch them."

"No really." He grumbled.

"Nah man, it's cool. I like to stop and watch them too sometimes. It's serene and totally different from basketball." Kirishima smiled like an idiot.

"Whatever." Bakugou huffed with a stretch of his leg before starting on his way again. "They just caught me off guard."

And so had that moment. Too bright, too fluffy, almost like something out of those stupid romance movies. Whatever. This was real life. That moment meant nothing. It was a delusion. The heat had gotten to him. It was nothing more. It couldn't be.

.

Practice hadn't even started yet and Bakugou had made his was to the gym, well the locker room. He practically threw on his black shorts and blue shirt. He liked to start before the others. Get a few laps around the court in, make sure all the balls had air in them, the usual stuff. He however, did not enjoy that he wasn't the first person there. He also didn't want to join their conversation, so he opted to listen from just inside the door of the male changing room

"What should we do? With Sero being out we won't have our star shooting guard." Iida said to Uraraka.

Honestly, Bakugou didn't care. But if the captain thought it was necessary to tell the manager, he knew he shouldn't voice his opinion.

They had plenty of starry-eyed first years that would love a shot at playing in more than low-tier practice matches. And with most of the third years dropping the team to focus on entry exams, this was really a second year problem.

"Couldn't we just ask a first year?" The Brown haired manager asked. She held the clipboard, with all the potential shooting guards close to her chest.

"I'd rather have someone with more experience. This is an important game for our school." Iida frowned.

Blah, blah, blah. Rivals this, have to win that. Bakugou just wanted to crush the opposing team. He didn't care if this school and that one were rivals. He didn't care if a win meant the break of a twelve year losing streak. This wasn't some crappy sports manga.

"We could always ask Todoroki if it's that important." Uraraka pointed out.

Who was he again? Bakugou could barely remember him. The name sounded slightly familiar. It kinda pissed him off.

"I don't think he would help us. Isn't he in the archery club now?" The glasses wear male said.

Did the captain keep tabs on all the club members that had left?

Bakugou thought on it for a second before his eyes widened with realization. Todoroki was kinda famous. His father was a huge basketball star and everyone had expected him to follow in those footsteps. What nobody saw coming was Todoroki just vanishing from the court for such a plain sport.

Weakling. So what if he couldn't surpass his old man. He didn't have to run away from the whole sport just to spite the guy. Giving up made him weak and because of that Bakugou was glad he probably won't join the team even for one match. He wouldn't welcome a quitter.

"Shall we send Bakugou and Kirishima then?"

Wait what? Bakugou had been so lost in his own thoughts that he missed what lead up to that. They had to be idiots thinking that he could recruit anyone. Especially some lame quitter that he could already tell he was going to hate.

"That seems like the best choice." The blue haired captain nodded.

Well, Tenya Iida just made his personal shit list. Bakugou scolded. Maybe he would just skip practice today and go home. That sounded like a better idea than what those two idiots were plotting.

"Yo, Bakugou." Well it was to late for that plan. Kirishima's voice was so loud and cheerful it would take a miracle for anyone not to bear him. His red eyes looked innocent but his timing had been too perfect to be a coincidence.

"I think I heard Kirishima." The brunette said from the gym. Of course she would be able to hear him through the door. That was Bakugou's luck after all.

"Very well. I shall inform him of what's going on."

No escape anymore. His redhead friend, who was definitely being downgraded to acquaintance after this, was chatting away next to him and the captain approached from the sounds of his sneakers hitting the linoleum flooring.

.

If he closed his eyes he could easily hear the soft thuds again. His mind would race back to this skinny arms holding the bow. Back perfectly straight, green eyes calm and steady. Three fingers drawing the string back.

He could hear the 'twish' of the arrow being released. In his mind he could see the string snap back. The arrow would fly through the air. Green eyes blinked after it hit the outer ring of the target.

"We are here to see Todoroki." Kirishima said to whoever answered his soft rap. Bakugou had been so lost in his own head he hadn't even realized the redhead had knocked on the door, or that he had stopped walking.

The purple haired girl in the doorway frowned. Her amethyst eyes glanced back to at something or someone hidden from sight. She then ran a hand through her asymmetrical bangs and with a sigh she opened the door wider.

"Listen, club activities end in a few minutes. Why don't you guys come in and wait for them to finish?"

"Them?" He hadn't meant to let it slip out.

"Vice-president Todoroki is in the middle of a challenge." She explained. "And I, for one, would rather not interrupt him."

"The archery club is really chill." Kirishima smiled. "So i don't mind hanging around for a few minutes longer. Besides, it totally beats having to run laps."

"You wouldn't gave to run laps if you and Kaminari would stop goofing off." Bakugou said, shoving past him and the girl to enter the club room.

It was weird entering the club room. It was so… open. As soon as he turned the corner from the little pocket space that was the club room door, he was hit with sunlight.

And there he was, lighting up the whole room. The green haired male. He stood, just like Bakugou had imagined, with his bow drawn.

It was too bright. Why was everything so bright? Like every stupid scene in those idiotic romance animes that he didn't really enjoy, he only watched them because Kaminari and Kirishima forced him to, just suddenly the world had color.

How had the world been so gray before? How had he not noticed?

THUNK

The arrow missed completely. The green haired boy let his head fall before raising his hand to shake the person next to him.

Todoroki. How could he have forgotten that stupid half and half hairdo? Those mismatched eyes that never held any interest when he was in the basketball club now shone.

Was that also because of this freckles person?

Upon further inspection Bakugou had noticed it. The green haired male's face was full of the little spots. Like a constellation across the pale skin.

"Izuku?" Todoroki frowned turning to the boy. "Is something wrong?"

So his name was Izuku? It wasn't too horrible. The sound of it didn't immediately piss the blonde off. In fact, he kinda liked it.

"It's nothing." He finally replied. Bakugou couldn't see his face.

But the conversation was interrupted by Kirishima, who had finished apologizing for Bakugou's rudeness. Which, in his defense, that purple haired girl opened the door to let them in, so Bakugou didn't think he was rude at all.

Izuku pushed past the vice-president and fled at the same time that the redhead waved happily. "Yo, Todoroki. It's been a while man. How are you?"

The half and half bastard gave them a pinched smile. "What can I help you with?"

Woah, talk about cold shoulder. Maybe Bakugou would get lucky and he would just straight up say no. No fighting, no begging, just a solid no. He probably knew they were from the basketball club. They had even been stupid enough to wear their jackets.

Kirishima started to talk, but like usual Bakugou tried to tune him out. He opted to, instead, listen to the purple haired chick.

"What happened?" She turned to a black haired woman.

"Izuku missed his shot." The busty black haired beauty shook her head. Bakugou recognized her. Who wouldn't? She was Momo Yaoyorozu. Not only was she the president of the archery club but she was also vice-president for the student council.

The purple haired girl looked worried. "Was it because of the racket? Should I not have let them on?"

"I'm sure it had nothing to do with that, Kyoka." Momo gave her a loving smile. "They had been at it for so long, I'm not even surprised he lost focus."

"No." Todoroki's voice overshadowed the their conversation.

"Aw, come on man. We used to be on the same team."

"Used to be. I am no longer a part of the team." He gave a curt bow. "Now if you don't mind, I have more pressing matters to attend to."

The way he shut Kirishima down kind of pissed him off. Only Bakugou was allowed to do that to his friend. He wasn't going to take it quietly.

"Listen up bastard." The blonde frowned. "We are going to keep asking until you say yes. Just give up and help us this one time. Unless you think you are so awful you can't."

He glared, hoping to rule him up. But the voice that responded didn't belong to Shouto Todoroki.

"Shouto is amazing!"

Bakugou turned around. Izuku was standing opposite of him, back in his school uniform. His green eyes watched him menacingly.

"Izuku." He tone was warning the boy. Of what, Bakugou had no clue.

"Whatever nerd. We'll be back tomorrow." He turned with a hmph and grabbed Kirishima's arm. "Let's go."

Read the rest?

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #134

“i got detention ‘cuz i made a face; nobody believed me that it’s stuck that way.”

If you were to die today would your life be complete?  No. How good is Coca-Cola?  It's my second-favorite soda. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
  My niece Aubree <3 Do you have a bad temper? 
 No. Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now?
  One acquaintance, one old friend off the top of my head. Have you ever had someone pick you up off the ground and carry you?  Mom when I passed out. If you were in the hospital, do you think any of your exes would come see you?  Girt probably would, and he's the only one I wouldn't have a problem with visiting. If you were kicked out of your house, would the last person you texted take you in?  I'm sure they would, but it's more realistic I'd live with my dad. If you were immortal for a day, what would you do?  Skydive. What fictional place would you most like to go to?  Yo can I go to Azeroth. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished?  UHHHHHH.  I'm honestly not quite sure.  But Mark is like super high on the list, if not #1.  I'm not well-informed on a lot of people's accomplishments lajsfdaowe. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way?  Hmmmm.  Good question. What is one thing you really want but can’t afford?  Lmao dude I want so many expensive things atm. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?  I almost snorted reading this question because like do you honestly expect something impressive of me.  I... guess I understand Sony Vegas well? What are some of the turning points in your life?  Uhhhh meeting my ex, the divorce, discovering my passion for photography, the breakup, re-uniting with Dad, r e c o v e r y. What’s your cure for hiccups?  NOTHING.  NOTHING WORKS. Don’t you think it’d be cool to see a colossal squid?  FUCKING NOPE THEY ARE SPAWNS OF THE NIGHTMARE REALM. What kind of steak do you prefer?  When I ate meat, I liked medium well. Has anyone ever cheated on their significant other with you?  Yes, allow me to (not) tell you about my stupid 12-year-old self. Are you fascinated by outer space?  *cue the Mark "Space is Cool" mix* Do you answer your phone when it’s a number you don’t recognize? Never. When washing your hands, do you wet your hands or put soap on first?  Put the soap on. When was the hardest you ever cried? What was the circumstance?  The night of the breakup.  I had left the house to walk to Jason's, and Mom got in the car and kept driving in front of me to stop me (I was too practically catatonic to run).  Eventually gave up, she drove me home, and when she opened the door, it was my goal to run to the kitchen and slit my throat, but the moment I made the action to run, she pretty much tackled me and I sobbed my lungs out for like 30 minutes.  Fuck that entire night. Who were your last 3 Facebook messages from and what do they say?  "lol but hey thats the world we live in lol well goodnight honey and i hope to speak to u again" from Leslie, "How quaint O:" from Girt, "Its okay :)" from Amanda. Who was the last person to comment on your Facebook status? What does the comment say?  Sara saying "YEP" when I shared a picture of straight people dating versus lesbians and it was spot-on. Which do you use the most, smiley faces, kisses or hearts?  Faces, probs. Do you like sweet or salty popcorn? Ohhhh both.  But I've gotta side with salty. Have you ever had to put your hand over someone’s mouth to keep them quiet?  Once. Have you ever fed a wild animal?  Yes. The last time you packed, where were you going?  Sara's. Do you believe in astrology?  Definitely not. Do you have an accent?  Not really, but you can pick up a southern tone with some words.  Example, my "your" sounds more like "yer," usually. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear?  No. Do you sing in the shower?  I have been a tad bit lately...  I used to never. Are you satisfied with your current camera? My phone camera is SHIT, and I need a new actual camera.  55-200mm lens is broken, the other one's automatic focus setting is and I'm not great at manual focus. Have you ever been in a choir?  In Catholic church, yes. Does it bother you to have dirt on the bottom of your bare feet?  Y E S Has anyone ever told you that you have a big butt?  I literally have the flattest ass of any female you'll ever meet. Do you often skip breakfast? Pretty much daily now, yeah.  I'm fasting and don't eat until 11, so breakfast's passed. Last person who drove you somewhere (besides your parents)? Nicole. Who last grabbed your behind?  I'm sure it was Chelsea being her crazy self. Do you eat raw cookie dough?  Yeah dukes up salmonella. Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy?  No. Would you survive in prison?  No.  I would find one way or another to kill myself. Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugs? Why, or why not?  Rarely, no, no.  I drink usually in celebratory settings to loosen up some and sometimes just because I like the flavor of weak, fruity alcohol.  Smoking's gross, drugs are ew. What was the first cigarette you ever smoked?  Never smoked. Are you scared about the end of the world?  If I'mma be in it, hell yeah.  But it's not something I actively worry about because I don't think it'll happen in my lifetime. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions?  Landmarks.  I don't know street names for shit. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books?  Yes. Where is one place that you’d never be caught dead in?  Never be caught dead in, ever... uhhhh... nothing's coming to mind right now.  Oh wait.  Probably a strip club. Apple Jacks: yay or nay?  YAY. Do you have a favorite Scooby-Doo movie?  Yeah, but I don't remember which one. ;-;  It's that one where the girl says her name is Mary Jane and Shaggy goes, "That's, like, my favorite name."  Totally went over my head as a kid lmao. Have you ever met a guy for coffee?  No, I hate coffee anyway. Who is your pet most attached to in your family?  Teddy's most attached to me, I'm the only one who has any physical contact with Venus and she trusts me, Bentley is bonded with Mom, and Mitsu is still apprehensive of anyone. Does the last person you shared a bed with mean anything to you?  The whole world and more. What do you normally do when you’ve had a really bad day?  Cry, have a shit attitude occasionally, a nap is common, talk to Sara, binge my favorite Markiplier videos. When is the next time you will wear a dress?  Hm.  Maybe this summer if I'm confident enough in my body by then lmao. On the main page on YouTube, what’re the three recommended videos? 8-BitGaming beating SCP: Containment Breach, a DanAndPhilGAMES video of Golf With Friends, and then an 8-BitRyan vid of the full release of Raft. Do you know anyone from Canada? Yeah, my former roommate's ex. Are thongs sexy? Yeah, but oml I know I couldn't wear one. Did you grow up in a healthy environment? I wouldn't say "healthy," no.  My dad was an alcoholic at the time, parents always fought, and our neighborhood was dangerous. Heavy rain or heatwave? Heavy rain, easily.  Fuck the heat. You have a choice to shoot your father or die, what would you do?  I hate these damn questions, but I'd rather die.  My father deserves the longest and happiest life possible without the betrayal of his daughter. If killing yourself meant saving the world, would you?  Yeah.  It's a lose-lose situation for me; if I didn't, I'd still die if the world's gonna end. Who knows your most darkest memory or secret?  Jason and Mom should know, and whoever read those specific surveys. Who was the last person you almost went out with?  Meh.  Juan.  We talked and hung out once in... late 2016 I think and I was pretty confused as to how I felt about him.  Meanwhile, he hasn't kept it a secret in the least he's liked me since freshman year.  He's always treated me like a gentleman should, but I know the dark and disgusting parts of him.  Glad I decided against it. The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, or The Beatles?  Stones. What does your grandma call you?  Just my name. And what do you call your grandmother?  Grammy. Would you rather have a pool or a hot tub?  Pool. Do you think ‘everything bagels’ are disgusting?  No, but I have to be in the mood for one. Do you find serial killers fascinating?  I wouldn't call them as a whole fascinating, but what has to be going on in their brains to create such grotesque desires and creativities. Do you have high blood pressure?  No. Have you ever pumped gas?  No.  I'm 22 btw lmao. Have your parents ever caught you drinking?  I mean Mom's seen me with a drink when she didn't know I'd gotten one, but I wouldn't call it "caught" since I'm allowed to and I made no effort to make it secretive. Do you prefer writing by hand or typing? Typing.  Writing makes my carpal tunnel act up quickly, and besides, typing's way faster. Think of one of the biggest decisions you've had to make in your life. If you made a different choice, how different would your life be now?  Panicking and telling Mom when I overdosed.  I took way more than what I should've taken of a cold medicine I can't even look at now, but I don't think it would've killed me based on how I felt, but then again, the fluids or whatever I got to purge it could've saved me; however, I feel like I would've killed myself through another method if I didn't tell her.  It all led to the psychiatric care I needed. Have you ever taken a course on CPR?  No, but I should. Do you wear a watch? No, I don't even own one. When are you at your most energetic? A little after waking up.  Just gotta get over the initial drowsiness. Do you like playing cards? If so, what's your favorite game?  I don't really enjoy card games.  I liked Magic: The Gathering tho when I was with Jason, but I wasn't that good at it considering it's got like a billion rules.  I'd still play with someone who knew how to, though.  I loooove the PS3 version that was made for it, it was much easier and I found it relaxing.  And I adore the artwork like jfc. What are your parents’ natural hair colors? What is yours?  Extremely dark brown, black, dirty blonde but turned to brown. How do you react to random strangers suddenly trying to make conversation with you?  I get nervous. Do you like Slim Jims?  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS MAMA. Have you ever been in a castle? The Disney World castle, if that counts? Would you rather write a mystery or love story? A love story. Are you afraid of getting shots?  No.  I don't like them, but. What do you currently hear?  "Pour Some Sugar On Me" cover by Ninja Sex Party. What’s one text that you saved?  Two texts from Sara that I love way too much. Have you ever cut your own hair?  No. What’s your favorite color combination? Probably orange and black bc Halloween. Did you share a locker at school? No. Have you ever sang karaoke?  No. How old were you when you went on your first date?  Huh, I dunno.  Just the guy and myself?  Probably dinner with Jason at 16? Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yeah. Would you rather have strep throat or an ear infection?  Holy fuck, after my last ear infection?  Strep. Where was your first job?  GameStop. Have you ever been to a night club? No. Do all good things really come to an end?  No, not all. How many people do you trust with your life?  Three. Are you too kind for your own good?  Don't think so. Have you ever held a baby? Yeah. What's your favorite '90s TV show?  The Nanny. What are you favorite book series? Warriors. Favorite superheroes?  I know he's technically an anti-hero, but does Deadpool still count?  If not, uh.  Batman I guess. Would people consider you more immature or mature? Mature, probably. Would you say most of your friends are older or younger than you?  Younger. If you have a significant other, do you get jealous of people a lot? She knows I was insecure as fuck in the beginning.  Now, nope. Who was your best friend in the fifth grade?  Ummm I think Quiata? Do your parents still help you financially?  I don't have a job.  So. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Don't think so. Do you have a preferred brand of bottled water?  Essentia.  Thanks for not having it, NC. Are you more prone to overthinking things, or being too impulsive?  Hunny I overthink if I have to pee or not if it's not a massive need. How bad are your worst cramps on a scale of 1-10? Eh, maybe just a seven thanks to the pill. Have you ever thrown up from cramps?  No. List three people you had a hard time forgiving.  JASON, Dad, Mom multiple times. Who was your first celebrity crush?  Jesse McCartney. If applicable, what form of birth control do you use?  The pill.  But it's for cramps. Are you happy with your gender?  Yeah. What gender do you identify as?  Female. What gender were you born as? Female. Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication?  No. Have you ever used a tampon?  Yeah. How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty?  I don't think it's something we ever properly "talked" about, but rather indirectly when Mom taught me how to shave and told me when to start wearing a bra. How many people have you known who were suicidal?  Sadly, I think MOST people I know/most friends. What's your favorite pain reliever? Advil. Who has the cutest baby/babies you know? My nephew is literally the cutest child I have EVER seen. Do you have a lot of people blocked on Facebook? Actually yes, but most because Mom instructed me to block them when I was younger.  A few are of my own volition. What color is your razor/shaver?  Orange and white. What's your boyfriend/girlfriend's sisters name? She doesn't have any sisters. Do you like the sound of violins?  YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Would you be interested in going on a blind date?  Even if I was single, no. If you formed an unhealthy habit, would it be smoking or drinking? Oh boy, idk.  I think an alcohol addiction is more dangerous, but smoking has disgusting consequences. Have you ever bought a video game expansion pack? No. Do you wish YouTube had been around when you were a kid?  Nah.  I wouldn't want the risk of an earlier technology addiction. Do you remember preschool?  Yes. What color(s) was your backpack in high school?  Browns and black.  It was a Ouija board design. What health conditions do you have?  Physically, baaad dry scalp, dry af skin in general, inactive MRSA.  I've been over my mental ones enough. Have you ever collected seashells at the beach?  Yeah. Did you ever take dance lessons?  Yeah, for many years. If you took dance lessons, what was your favorite style of dance?  Modern. Have you ever worn a tutu? No. What was your favorite vacation that you went on as a child?  Disney World. Have you ever had braces?  Yeah. What is your favorite photo editing site? (or what do you use?) I don't use editing sites.  I use Photoshop, Lightroom, or PhotoScape. How many times did you take your driver's test?  I haven't yet.

[mixtapekings]

Listen Review of Drake’s ‘Dark Lane Demo Tapes’ Project by djbooth.net

Drake delivers a fan service release during quarantine, allowing him to clear out his vault of throwaways, loosies, and leaks.

The world stood still on February 13, 2015, when Drake released his surprise mixtape If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late. I remember the hair on my neck standing straight up during the intro track. It was a big moment for Drake. He believed he reached the status of legend, and the release of IYRTITL showed us that he wasn’t afraid to say it.

Five years and a few months later, rap’s global superstar returns with another surprise mixtape, Dark Lane Demo Tapes, featuring 14 tracks and guest appearances by Playboi Carti, Young Thug, Future, Chris Brown, and more. I have no further thoughts; let’s see what Drake has to say. 

In usual 1-Listen album review fashion, the rules are the same: no skipping, no fast-forwarding, no rewinding, and no stopping. Each song will receive my gut reaction from start to finish. 

1. “Deep Pockets”

It’s always nice to hear a background sample on a Drake intro. I just looked at the album cover and laughed. Why does Drake look like a cat burglar? Whose house is he breaking into during quarantine? “Deep Pockets” sounds like a throwback. This song is like watching a veteran ballplayer shoot from his old sweet spots on the court. I’m not in love with the production, though. “Deep Pockets” is dragging. “My soundtrack is the second Carter.” Drake is getting bars off. I’m listening to a graceful layup, but I’m here for the 360 windmill dunks. I’ll revisit it. 

2. “When To Say When”

The “Song Cry” sample sounds heavenly. This is a good canvas for this variety of Drake. I respect how much he big ups Birdman and Wayne. There’s a sense of sincerity to his stream of consciousness. He’s saying what’s on his mind. This is my favorite kind of Drake. Just a free-flowing diary of thoughts. “When To Say When” is the most elegant rant Drake has ever rapped.  

3. “Chicago Freestyle” feat. Giveon

Giveon’s voice. That’s it, that’s the tweet. Drake’s conversational flow is working well because he raps with a photographer’s attention to detail. What I like about “Chicago Freestyle” is how the beat, Drake’s flow, and Giveon’s feature complement one another perfectly. There’s a synergy that makes for a graceful banger.

4. “Not You Too” feat. Chris Brown

A slow cut. I like the production. There’s a looseness here that’s atmospheric. Drake’s singing is conversational. Not in love with this one, though. I’m too sober for “Not You Too.” The pace of Dark Lane Demo Tapes is pretty slow. Drake is in no rush. I love the sudden drum rolls and synthy textures. Drake is sweet singing to some woman, but I’d rather have another elegant scolding. I don’t know if Chris Brown did anything. If he appeared, I might’ve missed him. [Editor’s Note: He sang background vocals.]

5. “Toosie Slide”

“Toosie Side” is no “Swag Surf” was my initial take when Drake released this song, but I’m not upset at another dance song. Okay, I might change my mind. I can’t imagine any reason I would play this song. I do love how he snuck the subtle imagery of plotting violence. “Gotta dance, but it’s really on some street shit.” Mafia music for the suburbs of Pasadena. Is this the extended version? “Next time I swear the truth will get revealed.” Drake is still alluding to things. I can’t imagine Drake getting in another rap beef. No one wants that, and I don’t want this extended “Toosie Slide.” 

6. “Desires” feat. Future

All these songs sound good, but I hear why they’re loosies. They sound like good ideas that weren’t great. Future! It’s nice to hear another voice. His flow on here is a treat. It’s the way he launches into a sudden tangent without ever losing the cool. Future and Drake really get together and scold women. “Desires” is fine. It’s a vibe. I wouldn’t skip it, but I don’t love it. After a decade of Drake singing, I’m okay if he only raps for here on out. 

7. “Time Flies”

I love this beat. Easily my favorite track thus far. The hi-hats are tapping with such eloquence. A great mid-tempo rhythm. The singing rap style here is great. It’s so steady, like a leaf floating on the top of a river. Drake is in a good pocket. Something that he does well is bringing his life to the song and still making it feel like something you might experience. He attempts reliability. As soon as I complain about his singing, he pulls out “Time Flies.”

8. “Landed”

The bounce! It’s a trampoline. This is good. Drake’s stunting is whimsical. He has the braggadocio of a winner. Drake is running through women like Charlie in the fifth season of Californication with the way he’s rapping. That’s a reference for Donna. “Landed” sounds like a More Life leftover. “Pushing five Cadillacs like a politician.” “Landed” is the sleeper hit. Keeper. 

9. “D4L Freestyle” feat. Future & Young Thug

I’m liking this build-up. Thugger! The beat is vibrant and springy. Future and Thug together are two stylish supervillains. “D4L Freestyle” is the best song title on the album. Young Thug vocals are hilarious. Drake is ripping this. He sounds like he’s having a great time. The Spaceship/Bankhead line. Some of his best rapping on the album. Here’s Future. Future is making the money counter sound with his mouth. Has he been practicing that? It’s such a perfect money counter. Not in love with the beat, but Drake went to outer space.

10. “Pain 1993” feat. Playboi Carti

Drake’s throwaways are good. Dark Lane Demo Tapes is the opposite of If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late. Instead of feeding us aggressiveness, Drake’s energy is Sunday morning relaxed. His voice is impeccable here. The most casual rapping. Pi’erre Bourne’s price going up, again. Carti’s ad-libs are killing me. Southside Carti came to dunk on Drake. His voice is stealing the show. How does he get his voice that texture? He sounds like a cartoon character. Reboot the Rugrats with Playboi Carti as Tommy Pickles. Keeper. 

11. “Losses”

It sounds like an older gentleman talking to his Instagram. [Editor’s Note: That older gentleman is Drake’s father, Dennis Graham.] I like this not-an-album. It’s perfectly okay. Dark Lane Demo Tapes is a playlist of slow-burning Drake vibes. I’m post fascinated with the pacing. “Losses” is dragging. Rap has felt so fast in 2020. There’s a clarity to Drake that I like. He makes sure you see his point of view. Ironclad rapping. He doesn’t miss a detail. It’s the lyricism of a politician. The day he decides to run for office will be a wild day on Twitter. Another elegant scolding. Keeper. 

12. “From Florida With Love”

I love the bounce. Love the Static Major nod. This is the one. There’s a few hit records on this album if Drake wants them to be hit records. “From Florida With Love” feels like a banger. He loves executing subtle threats on potential bangers. “You know that lesson stuck.” I didn’t need the second verse. I might be tired. This one would sound great in a room full of people. 

13. “Demons” feat. Fivio Foreign & Sosa Geek

This summer, I need Drake to give me a 30-minute LP. I’m getting too old for 50-minute sermons. I miss Pop Smoke. Been thinking about him a lot lately. Sighs. Drake can do any style of rap, but Drill Drake is hit or miss to me. He’s sliding on “Demons.” This is some of the most aggressive rapping on the album. Fivio has good energy. Drake always finds a young star to spotlight. “Demons” could’ve been a strong single. Sosa Geek is fine. He got character. “Demons” is the banger that feels a little late to the party. 

14. “War”

“War” is a Drake song I feel indifferent about. It sounds awkward, but I love how the words bend to his flow. It’s a slick song. The lyricism is an example of Drake’s best kind of stream of consciousness. He doesn’t miss a beat. Even the way he described The Weeknd is like a mob boss speaking in code. “Everyone I know has code names.” Drake sounds silly at times, but he puts up enough shots to always strike gold in various styles. A true shooter.

Final (First Listen) Thoughts on Drake’s Dark Lane Demo Tapes 

The title Dark Lane Demo Tapes is spot on. Drake has delivered a fan service release during quarantine, allowing him to clear out his vault of throwaways, loosies, and leaks. 

There is no attempt at a crossover pop song or shiny, big-budget radio record. Dark Lane Demo Tapes is a playlist project filled mostly with surface-level rap tales by a rich and famous superstar who can craft a hit—any type of hit; you name the type—in his sleep. And some of these songs (“Desires,” “Not You Too”) sound like he did. 

As a variety pack of mostly effortless rapping and R&B throwaways with only a few potential Billboard chart-toppers, Dark Lane Demo Tapes presents as 50 minutes of graceful layups from a living legend. Drake didn’t feel the need to surprise us with a dunk. Sure, a 360 windmill would have been nice. But for that, we’ll have to wait for album number six.

from Listen Review of Drake’s ‘Dark Lane Demo Tapes’ Project by djbooth.net